#And if you take an anti-recovery stance in any of my posts
Note
Man that autism post resonates so hard for me rn. Had a 'friend' of mine start randomly calling me an "egg" and "in denial" of being autistic because I... enjoy asmr and rock in my seat sometimes. Like straight up arguing with me over it in front of other people. It was so uncomfortable and really upset a few of our mutual autistic friends. Idk what this trend is but I hate it so much
No yeah that's outright disgusting, like it's one thing if someone autistic makes a gallow's humor post about it or not even necessarily something gallow's-ish, just, you know, talking about it, making a humorous spin on it, the works, that's totally fine, we all do it about our own life experiences. It's another thing entirely to make it into a trend or "fashion-nize" it as some sort of quirky personality trait that makes you a 'freaking awesome bean' or whatever and then do what this acquaintance of yours did, like, without even getting started with the use of 'egg' here and calling someone else an 'egg in denial', that's a whole other can of worms by itself, just going at someone with the whole "you're actually X you just don't know it yet" is incredibly irresponsible. One of my sincerely least favorite arcs of Tumblr is when this was happening to ADHD, and having to see a lot of friends reblog those posts like "oh no I identify to so many of these posts... Perhaps I Am One Of The Abnormals" like man, read the room, I'm The Abnormals, and I don't hold it against anybody, because I know for a fact that none of them meant anything negative by it nor did they mean to insult, and I know this because I know my friends, but it was a tough period of time to have a dashboard, and I can imagine anyone less secure about themselves, of their conditions, or of their online social group feeling upset or offended by it.
It's like (the most mainstream) mental health things all go through their own turn in the Trend Spotlight, and right now, it's autism, before that, it was ADHD, and many years ago, in a real Tumblr Classic, it was the whole anti-recovery stance ("um, drinking water isn't gonna help my depression, KAREN") that even some supposedly educated-ass people I personally know backed up for some reason that transmogrifies me into The Jonker for half a second before I calm down ("uhhh maybe some people had a bad time with their own therapy :(" shut the hell up and leave people making helpful little posts about stuff that's helped them alone). And even before that, it was the Wild West of people going ham self-diagnosis with absolutely everything they could, objectively the worst period, and it wasn't just self-diagnosis, it was sometimes diagnosis others, for instance, one person that shall remain politely unnamed one time responded to a vent post I made many years ago "hey those are signs of depression, you should get that checked out".
To me.
Not just an actual professional psychologist that literally does this shit for a living, but most importantly, someone they don't really know on the internet. That was one of the few times I've actually gotten so pissed I went off, because holy shit my man you can't just diagnose people like that, you may be unknowingly predisposing someone who otherwise was just having a bad day into actually developing depression, which is a thing that happens.
I'm not going to say "stop talking about my field reeee" on the contrary, mental health needs more discussion about it, but it needs to be given the proper respect a topic as weighty and sensitive as mental health deserves. Properly inform yourself and, to help with this, ask. Ask mental health professionals, ask autistic people, ask ADHD people, ask people with OCD, ask people with Schizophrenia, ask them what's up, and always keep in mind there's no universal experience. I wish these things were universal, it'd make my job much easier and life much easier for me and many more people, but it isn't the case, so tighten your pants and do your due diligence.
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Introductions
Hello! You may call me Samuel :] (or Sam, Samael, Oroniusn, Oro, I’m not picky!) I decided to redo my introduction post so it was more accurate and elaborate.
I’m a trans man, I’m oriented aroace (romance and sex repulsed/indifferent but it fluctuates at times, when not repulsed I consider myself gay/MLM)
I call myself Transexual, Tranny and a fag, that bothers you feel free to leave your complaints at the door I do not care. All other “old” queer terms fit as well!
My two big special interests are WW1/WW2 history, and survivalist/apocalypse prepping. I’m always down to talk about both.
Currently learning German (A-1? Bordering on A-2? It’s a slow process) and will probably be posting on here in German as a practice when I get better.
American English is my native language (C2)
I’m a practicing Norse Pagan (with Christopagan/Enochian elements mixed in) as well as a Therian/Otherkin (spiritual and mental, depends on the kintype, feel free to ask questions!) I’m generally a very open person when it comes to the paranormal, ghosts, cryptids, curses, demons, I follow a sort of “It’s real until proven otherwise” path. It keeps life interesting.
-DNI-
Supporters of the IDF/Israel or anyone who thinks you can have a neutral stance on the liberation of Palestine
Actually anyone who thinks ANY form of colonization is correct, I don’t want you here
Far right wingers (I’m a socialist, why are you here)
TERFs/SWERFs/TRUSCUM, any of those fuckers, I’ll just block you anyways but might as well add it
“Kill all men” people (I’m a trans dude, once again why are you here?)
Evangelicals, I have no problems with other branches, Y’all are welcome here
Anti-recovery (It’s fine if YOU don’t want to recover, just not if you don’t believe people should recover)
Anyone who is Anti-reclaiming, please do some research on 80’s-90’s queer culture.
-BYF-
I pretty much never check the accounts I interact with before hand, if I broke your DNI it wasn’t intentional (although I tend to find “this fandom dni” type lists stupid as hell)
I can seem very unhinged at times, that’s pretty much my normal (by unhinged I don’t mean “silly” I mean I have little to no moral compass and empathy for others, I also struggle to differentiate right from wrong sometimes)
I also experience paranoia, hallucinations and delusions that can cause me to be irrational. Typically around things like being watched (either by something or by cameras Truman show style) being hunted or an impending sense of doom/feeling that something bad is about to happen.
I struggle with self harm/suicidal thoughts and will occasionally vent on this blog, if you’d like to avoid seeing that block the tags (#tw self harm) and (#tw sui ideation)
A detailed list of fandoms/my interests can be found below!
-Movies/Shows-
Literally every single Studio Ghibli movie
Hannibal (the show and all movies, manhunter included)
Saw
Sweeny Todd (2007)
The Crow (1994)
The Thing (1982)
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)
Land of the Lost (1974)
Tremors (1990)
Coraline
Star Trek (specifically from 1966)
M*A*S*H (1972)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
The Truman Show
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
JoJo Rabbit
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930, the new one is also good however I prefer the original)
Dunkirk
Band of Brothers (2001)
Downfall/Der Untergang
Inglorious Bastards
Full metal jacket (1987)
Zero Dark Thirty (2012)
Look who’s back/Er Ist Wieder Da (political commentary portrayed as comedy my beloved, the book is even better)
(I’m a massive old/war movie fan and I always take suggestions for new ones!! )
-Books-
Paradise Lost
Paradise Regained
The Divine Comedy
All Quiet on the Western Front
1984
Animal Farm
Catch-22
Crime and Punishment
Jurassic park
The Lost World
The Book Thief
Hannibal (all four books)
The Hunger Games
(And more)
-Music-
The Crane Wives
Swear and Shake
The Oh Hellos
Hozier
Modest Mouse
Gregory Alan Isakov
Kimya Dawson
Noah Kahan
Iron & Wine
The Mountain Goats
Johnny Cash
Saintseneca
Radical Face
Alex G
Rammstein
Ghost (bc)
Mitski
Mumford & Sons
Fiona Apple
Big Thief
Florence + The Machine
The Hunts
Radiohead
Little Chief
Roar
(And more but this list is already long)
-Games-
Minecraft
FNAF (Been a fan since 2014 baby!)
LOZ (BOTW, TOTK, Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess mainly)
Night in the woods
Fran bow
What remains of Edith Finch
Stardew Valley
(Just the main ones I’ll talk about)
-Podcasts-
Welcome To Nightvale
The Magnus Archives
Creep Cast
The Red Thread
-YouTubers/Streamers-
Philza
Wendigoon
ESOTERICA
Jacksepticeye
Markiplier
Sam O’nella
GTLive
Game theory (and all attached channels)
Watcher
HasanAbi
Penguinz0
-Hobbies-
Crochet
Knitting (although I’m not very good yet I do still enjoy it!)
Quilting
Hiking (I love, LOVE being out in nature, I’d die in the city)
Witchcraft
Writing (both my own stories and fan fiction)
Art (painting and digital)
Foraging (both for food and medicine purposes)
Folk medicine/medicinal herbs (just small stuff for myself right now, I’m not confident enough in my skills yet)
Herping (I keep a notebook full of native species I’ve found out on my walks, especially snakes)
Collecting bones, pelts, and other animal parts
Bird watching
Hunting/Trapping (I put this in hobbies because I do enjoy doing it, however I only hunt for food and use every part of the animal)
#langblr#aroace#loveless aroace#introducing myself#therianthropy#therian#otherkin#alterhumanity#alterhuman#norse pagan witch#practicing witchcraft#I’m a sucker for military movies#angelkin#actually angelic#i’ll add more tags later
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new intro post!!
hi! call me Ray, my pronouns are he/they/xe/aer. I am a minor (don't be fucking weird) and I am gay and demisexual. I'm an agnostic atheist and practice witchcraft, and I am a polytherian and otherkin! :)
I am hyperfixated on warrior cats and wings of fire, and my other interests include music (mainly punk rock and psychedelic rock), drawing, writing, skating, psychology, quantum physics (yes, you read that right, I'm a nerd), and video games.
I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and BPD. I am also the host of a medically recognized system of 6. We are traumagenic; syscourse opinions vary by alter but I (Ray, the main one posting here) am endo critical, and anti fakeclaiming. I am open (and happy!) to talk syscourse, but please keep it on my sideblog @rayssyscourse.
I have a tendency to be very strongly opinionated, and am an argumentative and confrontational person. If that bothers you, just scroll past or block me. That being said, I will do my best to be open to criticism should I overstep a boundary or take something too far. I block liberally at my own discretion.
I don't have a DNI per se, with the exception of asking kink/nsfw/para (idc your stance on contact, I don't want sexual stuff on my feed) blogs not to interact--I'm a minor and it makes me uncomfortable. Besides that, I don't really care, but will block people if I feel like it for any reason. If it helps for your own DNI purposes, I am a leftist, I stand with Palestine (no, I don't support Hamas at all; I care more about the genocide of innocents than I do the 'lesser of two evils'), anti radqueer/transid, endo critical, anti fakeclaiming, anti public proshipping (idc what you do in private but think it's harmful when publicized), and anti anti recovery.
feel free to reach out for any reason, I'm always open to discussion and making new friends. hope to see you around!! <3
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Welcome...
✦ ─ yo, im Kei / Guzma, you can also call me Mew since thats my blog name, Im a genderfluid bi-gay dude, crit inclus
Pronouns : he/him ; neb/nebby ; spike/muth ; Di/Devi ; oct/octo +
✦ ─ Requests :: Closed ✦ Ask box is always open
✦ ─ Do not repost any of my terms on any wikis, archives or other sites/blogs, thank you.
✦ Tagging
DNI, BYF + info below the cut
✦ DNI
i block very freely btw ;] also dni is subject to change
Basic DNI criteria (racist, homophobic, ableist, etc.)
Anti-MOGAI / LIOM, Anti-Xenogender, Anti-Neo/Xenopronouns, Anti-Otherkin/Fictionkin, Anti-Furry
Proship/Comship/Profic, anti-anti, "Dead dove", "Block and move on" blogs
Real-Person-Fiction writers/readers
Anti-Mspec lesbians/gays, Anti he/him lesbians / she/her gays / Anti-contradictory labels
Pan exclus / Ace/Aro exclus (also counts for cis/het aspec) / Anti- polyamory
Supports/is TransID, "transage", "transrace"/trace/diaracial, "transabled", "transopinion", "transill" or "non harmful transids"
Radqueer, Radpara, Medpunk, Warqueer, Feralqueer, Weedqueer, Kandiqueer, Para blogs, anti recovery, thinks paras are queer etc. etc., anything along those lines
"Safequeer" / anti critinclus
Thinks that all transpecies/chronosian stuff is radqueer/transid related (its not)
Supports/is (NO)MAP/AAM/Pedo/Zoo/Necrophile/"Kodophiles" etc. etc.
Refer to yourself as a "loli", "shota", "kodo", "yandere"
Blogs with any kind of syscourse on them (Applies regardless if pro-endo or anti-endo) / Discourse / drama blogs in general
TERF/Swerf, radfem, transmed, truscum, gendercritical, TIRF
Denier of transandrophobia
Gets pissy about people using "queer" or "fag" or tags posts that dont they didn't make as "q slur"
"minors DNI" blogs, NSFW / kink blogs, Vent / s/h blogs, Gore, Thinspo, Yancore blogs
Supports dd lg or other variations/NSFW agere / NSFW in agere spaces
Dream stans, Taylor Swift stans, tolerates JKR
Supports/Has anything on your blog relating to DSMP, Southpark, Harry Potter (introjects are always ok)
Have URLs/PFPs/Posts/Mentions about G-meGr-mps or donnie darko
Pro-life / Anti-abortion
Cop or military boot lickers
i have all the right to laugh and clown on you if you break my dni, its not hard lol.
✦ BYF/I
I am Crit Inclus, Im Pro-choice, I am completely Anti-Radqueer and if i see you interact with me while breaking my dni i will post about it.
As I said I am completely anti-radqueer and anti-transx (+ all the other names for it), however thats not including BIID, transpecies and Chronosian.
I will not give my stances on things to do with discourse, especially syscourse, and would like if you kept it miles away from me.
I swear alot and use words like "god" and "jesus" freely, so if you dont like that or if thats a problem then my blog is probably not for you, sorry.
Im shit with tone, so tone indicators are ok to use with me, im also shit with spelling and getting my own point/tone across so if im talking and that happens ignore it /hj
If your blog has typing quirks or you type differently (eg. LiKE THiS) i will have trouble reading it and will more less likely not interact with you.
I also get agitated and anxious fast, so if i come off as if im angry or disinterested in talking its least likely on purpose.
✦ Requesting
Please send an ask clearly describing your request, try not to be vague and use broad terms as little as possible.
(eg. "can you do neopronouns based off sylveon?" or "can you do a creepy/horror neopronouns list?", "Can you coin a gender related to X Y Z?")
I also ask that you research on if something has already been coined or not, it just takes some of the hassle out of it for me <3
✦ request etiquette
Stamp/blinkie requests
Requests must have links to flags in the ask.
Flags have to be simple (ie. just lines/waves, simple designs. no frills, crazy designs or detailed symbols), as i dont shrink them down, i remake them at that size.
Up to 2 flags are allowed for stamps (ie. "can you do a pan lesbian and bigender stamp?")
PLEASE specify whether or not you want 2 flags on one stamp or just multiple stamps.
request multiple at once if you want i dont have a limit other than theres gonna probably be only 8 per post
I will do different border selections for stamps in the future, but you can pick between 2 lines of dots blinkies or clasic full all around dots blinkies (like. the blinking part.)
I will do basically any flag as long as it follows my no crazy detailed flags rule
Things i WILL do:
Gender coining, Flag coining, Help with naming
Genders based on two or more things (eg. the color blue, dragons and being sleepy)
Neopronoun + names lists
Neopronoun mega lists (as many variations and sets i can find/make with research, categorised)
Neo recommendations based on your sets
Stamps / Blinkies of (non complicated) flags
More if you can request it lol
Things i WON'T do:
Orientation coining
first and second person pronoun requests / titles
"Reclaiming"/Recoloring flags for terms I didnt coin.
ANYTHING to do with transids or paras.
Anything related to real life people/their personas, actors, youtubers
Any anime stuff
Anything from DSMP, Southpark, Genshin, Omori, The backrooms (or any youtube horror), Marvel, Disney, TOH, emH, she-ra, fnaf, ddlc
Anything to do with aesthetics/-cores like weirdcore, traumacore, dreamcore etc. (other ones are ok, just not those kinds)
Obsessive love, trauma, Yandere
Extreme gore/death/rot, medical things
Anything NSFW ( im a minor )
Anything related to disorders i dont have or cultures/religions im not a part of.
list is subject to change.
I will do just about anything else, however I will absolutely reject anything i dont want to do, sorry!!
✦ About me <3
Hi, Im Kei / Guzma , You might already know me cus I used to be an owner of the (now defunct) coining blog Bugbane-xenos. Or you might even know me from reddit or discord.
I ID mainly as lableless / bi-gay and aroflux aswell as mainly as genderfluid or genderqueer man and many other lables, im also thinking of using cistrans. Im also polykin, alterhuman, a furry and a juggalo, if you want specifics send me an ask! if its not too personal id love to tell you. Im Irish too so if i talk funny you know why lol.
I would prefer if you used my neos over he/him, cus im genderfluid it just kinda helps.
Another thing, im autistic and got a tic disorder, amongst other things, so burnout is normal for me if i take long on requests sometimes please dont get mad. I wont answer questions about the " other things" for my own reasons unless we're close.
Please enjoy your stay on my little blog <3
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Honestly, with certain changes in our life and all, I honestly think I might consider myself pro-endo at this point. Like XIV had jumped ship earlier (in response to good will by endos putting an effort to Not Be Racist) and I was hesitant but I started talking to @indigochromatic and even though we haven't really had much of a conversation, it really did kind of make me think on a few things that got me a bit from my endo-neutral to pro-endo
Like I don't interact with endos much, nor do I really find myself motivated just cause 1) I don't even really find myself that motivated to seek out people with CDDs to interact with 2) I just don't really have time to actively seek out and be a part of "the community" so Im probably not the best "pro-endo"
I think some corners of the community and individuals can be toxic, harmful, dangerous, yada yada but I think at this point, there is a large enough case that "plurality" and DID can co-exist and acknowledge that there are similarities that some people may benefit from having with one another, differences that would warrant for separated spaces and respect to said differences, and overlap in just... the nature that they can.
I don't consider myself at all part of the endogenic community, I don't really consider myself part of the "plural" community, I'm just a person with DID looking as an outsider, but I really do think its best to just let people live honestly.
My stance with "tulpas" hardcore still stands and if you are a pro"tulpa" term person, you aren't welcome here; but honestly, I think I am going to bold what has been my stance on syscourse for over a year as I think its the main point of my opinion at this point, but if endogenics want to follow my blog and find that things I post here about my DID and recovery and what not, then they are absolutely welcome to.
Whatever helps you and makes your life easier and helps you get through the day and organize your life and just let you be you, I support it.
This blog is still a DID blog, and its focus is on trauma disorders and CDDs and what not, but I personally find no offense to endos existing and for my past history as an anti-endo, I apologize for any posts in the past that may have been reflective of that. I don't think that hate and hurt was well directed.
Additionally, this post is not an invitation to cause discourse or debate or anything, I don't intend to argue or debate this with anyone. This post is here just to share a general since of peace, acceptance, and positivity. If you intend to add bad vibes to this post, you can take that elsewhere.
I care less about the discourse and more so about just having a good time with people and supporting healing and happiness in life.
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Mental Illness Moment.png implored me to distract myself and thus this blog happened lmfao. LOOK if I drop this gig in a few weeks don't blame me 😭
Intro Post ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و
You can call me Ravi!!!
like the e/pic 7 character only because i steal all my names from that game
Bodily 16, POC + a system, and unapologetically proship
I don't do queer/syscourse !!
Actually dxed with ADHD, self dx autism/bp2/and Maybe bpd depending on how bad things continue playing out (bro i hate my life)
My goal for this blog? Reblog a lot of stuff, cry about antis, cry about mental illness.png, and maybe make friends???? Before I inevitably disappear again ofc
I'll mostly reblog stuff + post about personal hardships and proship stuff so if that bothers you I advise you not to follow!!
(Also hoping to rope proshippers into Idolish7 because this series needs to be infested with proshippers more. We have incest + minor/adult + toxic yaoi + power imbalance struggles you guys 🥺)
Stances + BYF
Proship/Comship/Selfship/Profic/Fujin/Whatever Dude IDK-friendly
Pro-systems of any origins; endos and non-traumagenic systems friendly (speaking as a traumagenic sys)
Pro non-contact para, pro-recovery, pro-self dx, pro-otherkin/furry/therian, pro-be a gentle and kind person to everyone (even antis) (like,, I try my best)
Pro-l0lish0!!!!!! <- from a l0licon (/r) and sh0tacon (/r + /sx)
Mostly neutral regarding radinclus but I do like twisting genders and sexualities into funny shapes. Plus I respect your choices to be whatever as long as you don't make others hurt. So.
Anti radqueer/sysmeds/terfs & transmeds/zionists
Anti rcta/transids.
RPF proship is rlly iffy... either keep it strictly to yourself and out of sight of creators or do it publicly only when people involved consent (I'm mostly using m/c/y/t as a framework here)
Strictly NO RPF shit involving child actors and children. In fiction is fine.
(I'm not very vocal about the stuff I'm against but just know that I personally dislike it lol)
BYF: I experience severe age lag and also adults terrify me due to personal trauma but feel free to follow and interact!! :') I'd prefer people around or below my bodily age to befriend me though sorry. Also I don't rlly have a DNI but take heed of the list above ig?
Umm extras? I like H/onkai S/tar R/ail and G/enshin lore I guess. And hmu if you like TennRiku/RikuTenn & TouTora plsplspls 🥺
Tags
ravi rambles a lot -> random talking
ravi rambles a lot (ill) -> mental illness vents
ravi's little things -> daily life
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replying to this post because i thought my stance was pretty poggers. but the reblogs got turned off as i was writing it, sadge
When dealing with the traumatic discourse, we had split a persecutor that is anti-endo and it sort of made the whole system turn to being anti-endo. We used to be more neutral and was confused on a lot of things.
But its really turned into because of the misinformation that's being spread. Specifically queer autism and sophie in wonderland are two major bad blogs that are dangerous towards newly discovered systems and the like. Imagine being told that there's nothing wrong with you and you get stuck in a cycle of not needing to deal with the past.
The persecutor that split, holds a LOT of shared trauma with me, and has shown that trauma holders, when being ignored/locked away, become more traumatized as the more you deny and destroy their existence.
So I don't think it's fair to the alters in your system, by denying any existence of harm, its like a nightmare masked as a sweet dream, its poisonous and bitter.
And I understand to some extent why people tend to avoid what happened to them, because it does hurt, it does take a lot to process. But you can't expect every member of your system to be happy with that. You can't expect everyone to just get along because you think that there's no problems. Until you solve and confront things, there will be issues.
And its mainly because we have trauma surrounding being told that we just "need to get over it" or that "its not a big deal" or "youre just making everything up". Like we have trauma surrounding being gaslit and shit. And the persecutor split because she noticed that a sort of toxic positive behavior is not good and couldn't deal with just being nice to everyone any longer.
So even in an "inclusive" space, there is shit you cannot trust. I just can't bear to listen to people that I just don't agree with. And that's why I have blocked most of the endogenic community, so they don't have to interact with me either. I'm not going to cross their boundaries and they're not going to cross mine. I only gave my response because you asked for them. I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't open to me.
I just think the strive for inclusivity over true information is dangerous. There can be a lot of bullshit unless you hear the information first hand or through a trusted source. And my goal is healing, it always has been. Other people's goals are different, and I'm not saying recovery is the only good goal to have, but I'm saying its the one I want for me. And that means accepting every single part of my system, good or bad.
#post.txt#my tags were: my syscourse stance is way more personal than it is me going along with what others say#and sadge u didnt get me thoughts at all ):
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Genuinely, what's the difference between body neutrality and body positivity? I'm seeing both terms being used in relation to recovery but I'm not sure if one is better than the other or what?
Hi! I've been sitting on this ask for a while because it isn't something that can be neatly summed up in a short answer, but I'll try to explain it to the best of my abilities. It isn't that one term is better or worse. They just describe different methods of body acceptance. I've tagged a couple of my posts with "body neutrality" because that's where I am now with my body, although I eventually hope to change that. I also use "body neutrality" to separate from the recent corporatization of the term "body positivity." I could go more in-depth with my specific line of thinking, but that's for another time. For now, I'll explain the key differences and origins of the movements and the pros and cons of each under the cut.
The body positivity movement was born out of the fat acceptance movement, which was made to end the stigma around fat bodies and address the racist and sexist origins of anti-fatness. Body positivity refers to seeing your body in a positive light regardless of beauty standards and seeing the beauty you possess, even if it differs from what is typically viewed as "attractive."
However, recently the term "body positivity" has been co-opted by corporations which immediately changed the focus of the movement. Unfortunately, the body type seen as marketable is not necessarily fat. Corporations are primarily showcasing skinny, white women- the pinnacle of "ideal beauty" in the commercial world- alongside the message of being a "natural beauty" and loving yourself as you are. There is also the corporate stance that body positivity means loving yourself enough to take care of your body, which- instead of nurturing it, feeding it, washing it, etc.- typically means buying expensive workout leggings and going to the gym, presumably to lose weight to obtain the conventionally attractive body. When paired with the nearly unattainable beauty standard, this message promotes the idea that you can only love yourself as you are if your body naturally looks like the models in the advertisements.
The body neutrality movement is a different response to beauty standards, which (I think) came into existence as a response to the artificial, corporate version of body positivity. Body neutrality refers to seeing your body in a neutral light without beauty in the picture. The basis of the movement is that your inherent value as a person transcends your physical body, in opposition to your self-worth being tied to whether or not your physical form is beautiful or attractive. For some people, body neutrality works by detaching themselves from their body image as much as possible. For others, this means reducing the negative impact that their insecurities have on their body image and approaching their bodies with a caring, patient attitude.
I have qualms with some parts of the movement. The emphasis on appreciating our bodies because of how they work is one of them. For example, the line: "my body is an instrument, not an ornament" is frequently used. Seeing bodies as instruments can get complicated, especially when some people are handed instruments that don't work as intended or work in a way that is divergent from the majority. Some instruments have manufacturing errors. Some people were built as trumpets even though they are, in fact, french horns. Sometimes you're a string instrument, but you only see woodwinds represented in media. There is, I think, a certain amount of privilege that you need to have that specific "instrument" mindset, and the ability to not think about how your body looks is easier for some than others.
Anyway, I hope that I've explained it all well enough. I'm not an expert on this subject by any means, but I've done my research. If you have any other questions, feel free to reach out.
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my stances and stuff:
pro endo/thoughtforms, MOGIA/LGTQIA2+, self diagnosis, BLM/ACAB, ed/sh/paraphilia recovery, mspec monos, contradictory labels
don't want to get involved in: shipcourse, tulpamancy as a plural term, bodily white systems with POC alters/verbal systems with nonverbal alters, any discourse around what's RAMCOA exclusive, shi/hir and fae/faer pronoun discourse
anti radqueer, contact (pedo/zoo), harassment/death threats/suibaiting, fakeclaiming
DNI bigot, mogai exclusionist, radqueer, safequeer, MAP/MAA, pro/complex contact zoo (or think it's a valid stance). anti endos on thin ice. If you interact with me and I'm on your DNI I'll take that as an invitation to break said DNI
interact only on anon if you post gore/horror/nsfw on your blog.
extended DNI under cut for if you're still unsure if you're on it. cw for dogwhisels
DNI bigot, MAGA, TERF, gender critical, anti transgenderism, anti gay, anti gay agenda, pro traditional family values, MAP/MAA, pedophile, pedosexual, pro/complex contact zoophile (or think it's a valid stance), zoosexual. interact only on anon if you post gore/horror/nsfw on your blog. (so no likes, comments or reblogs.) anti endos may interact but if you're really vocal and mean about it I may block.
x x x
#cw discourse#tw discourse#discourse#discourse cw#discourse tw#shipcourse#shipcourse mention#cw shipcourse#tw shipcourse#shipcourse cw#shipcourse tw#syscourse#syscourse cw#syscourse tw#cw syscourse#tw syscourse#discourse mention#syscourse mention
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hi! im not endo as far as i know, but id like to know your specific views on endogenics if youre willing to share! its a topic im really curious about because i dont know a lot, so im sorry its such a weird and random question. im not trying to start discourse and i will be disrespectful towards you. /gen
i can share mine with you if youd like!!
if you cant think of anything, i have some specific ones i can ask:
do you think some headmates can form without trauma as the cause? what about endogenics do you feel is wrong or problematic? would you be respectful towards endogenic members or endogenic systems as a whole?
i have more if youd like to share ^^
It's not weird dw! I can use this post to clean up any misunderstanding that we have on our stance:)
In short, we're endo neutral and anti misinformation. The long answer is a bit more complicated, but that is the vibe of it.
The answer your questions tho, yes, we think that headmates can form/split without trauma, but the original creation of the amnesia barriers(I.e creation of the system) has to be caused by trauma. This doesn't have to be horrific trauma, though. I know people whose systems split simply because they grew up autistic or neurodivergent in a family that didn't understand how to accommodate for that. What is traumatising to one person may be completely fine to another, and that's ok!
This question is a tricky one to answer, but I'll try my best(sorry if I get some words wrong). While I feel that the existence of endos isn't problematic in itself, it's when they start supporting ideas that are harmful or anti recovery and start to take terms from trauma survivors and make them about themselves (see. System hopping). This is when I feel I line is crossed. But most endos I've met are genuinely nice people and are really respectful, so I understand that those people mentioned above are a minority.
And the last one, yes, absolutely. Unless someone comes onto our turf and actively insults us, then we honestly don't really care if you believe in whatever. Being respectful is something that is normal for all of us unless you are acting maliciously towards us. And then you can expect the use of a fun little button called block and some low jabs:)
I'd also like to add that if someone comes on here and spreads misinformation, they will also receive this treatment, although with less aggression. I'd also like to mention that if you genuinely believe that you've had a completely non traumatic life and you're a system, good for you! You get the best parts of being a system without the ptsd. I hope you have a nice life like that, but please, please, please don't speak over people who have had a rough life talking about how hard it is being a system, I've seen this way too much and it gets kinda tiring.
Lastly, I'd like to reiterate what is mentioned in our intro. we'd like to keep the people that follow us mostly traumagenic. This is mostly for the reasons just stated above, but anyone respectful is welcome to interact if they want.
I hope this helps answer your questions! Sorry if I worded anything wrong. I'm a bit tired rn lol.
-anti💚🗡
#i feel like i repeated myself way too much in that but im too tired to go back and edit it lmao#anti💚🗡#did#misc answers
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Thanks so much for sharing your perspective. I've found your posts very informative and appreciate your time and effort. I saw you mention something about XZ's team not doing a great job responding to the situation, though of course they aren't to blame for it. If you don't mind, would you share your thoughts on what a better response might have looked like, and what impact it might've had if they'd done things differently?
One of the things that stands out most to me is how unprepared XZ Studio was when dealing with a PR crisis. It seems to me like they most likely did not have a strong social media team at the time who would have been tracking any trends or conversations associated with XZ. (By the point at which 227 happened, XZ Studio had already been established for about five months.)
It is pretty standard to track your artist’s name and keep an eye on trending topics, especially to get in front any major issues. As 227 began to develop, had XZ Studio been tracking the development on social media, they could have potentially defused the situation very quickly when the big call to action first emerged from XZ fans to report a fanfic to the government. It was so out of hand, and there was no statement from either the company or the artist that it seemed as though both were complicit in allowing it to continue, which is precisely why so many antis emerged, incensed against XZ’s apparent lack of action to rein in his fans and guide them appropriately.
Much of the backlash that occurred against XZ and his fans is because there was no initial response when the call to action first appeared - they could have essentially stopped it before it got too far and prevented AO3 and Lofter from getting banned. A simple statement from the artist and the management company to defuse everything could have potentially stopped the movement in its tracks, with the amount of influence XZ does have over his fans.
When things did go sideways, there still was no statement or even an apology from management or XZ, who was being criticized for the actions of his fans. Though it wasn’t his fault (technically), the ways in which his fans behave reflected poorly upon him as an artist and an influencer. Had he taken “responsibility” immediately and apologized, it might not have gone so far as a boycott against him that resulted in so many brands dropping him.
What I think a better response would have looked like once 227 occurred would have been this:
1. Immediately issue a PR statement condemning the actions of the fans and take responsibility for not initially “guiding” fans properly. Apologize on behalf of the company, the fans, and the artist. Statement should also include a note that states the offending content is merely fiction and that there is no truth to the story. There is no reason to be upset over something that is not true or defamatory, as it is imaginary. (This would essentially be a coded statement denying a certain relationship to begin the process of dissociating and creating a different narrative.)
2. Artist should issue a statement condemning the actions of the fans and apologizing as well. Call to action for any fans who might continue to act out to behave appropriately. Remind fans that fiction is not real, and to stop acting out against something that is imaginary.
3. Meet with Weibo privately. Ask them to help with community management to ban accounts that are breaking their TOS. Do this very early on in the process. Also, invest a good deal of money to hire an entire social media management team or a company to heavily monitor Weibo and aggressively report accounts that are engaging in defamatory behavior and potentially breaking Weibo’s TOS. Take legal action against anyone who is actively breaking the law.
4. Book an interview with a large media outlet or a well-known media personality. Allow and even encourage questions about the incident. Artist should condemn the actions of the fans who caused the incident and apologize to the public for their behavior. Artist should also say something like, “The story is fake/imaginary/fiction/not real.” (Saying something like that more or less demonstrates how dumb all of this is.) I am assuming that questions won’t be asked about AO3/Lofter being placed behind the Great Firewall due to China censorship.
5. Dissociate from anything and everything that might allow others to continue associating the artist with the incident. In XZ’s case, that means dissociating from WYB, because he’s associated with said incident given the fact that this was all caused by a fanfic. Put a moratorium on kadians and any other potential “interactions” that would allow fans to continue to have “content” to discuss on Weibo. The point here is to change the narrative - this way antis won’t also have content they can use to criticize XZ.
6. While this is happening, call all brands and schedule meetings. Attempt to rescue the brand deals. For brands who are very unhappy, offer a contract revision to suspend the contract terms for a set amount of time (such as four months) to see if the issue blows over. (It’s better to put it on hold than it is to have to try and get a new brand deal, especially once the brand’s annual sponsorship monies have already been allocated for the year.)
Potentially work with third party PR team to circulate rumors among XZ’s fanbase that he is losing brand deals to create urgency for a counter-campaign against antis trying to boycott XZ’s brands. If there are just as many people calling brands to support XZ as there are calling for a boycott, then it would potentially be a 50/50 toss up as to whether or not a brand deal manages to be saved. This might also lead to a surge of sales for all of XZ’s brands, which would then maybe demonstrate to the brands that XZ shouldn’t be dropped.
7. Track sentiment/feedback once all of the above has been completed. If all of the above didn’t help at all, create new action plan which might include withdrawing the artist from all activity for a set amount of time.
So there you have it. Maybe a response like the above could have potentially ended up with a different outcome for XZ. Maybe it wouldn’t have helped at all and everything would have still been just as bad. We’ll never actually know.
What I hope is that XZ now has a better team who can handle issues like this in the future, and that he will see a full recovery for his career this new year. If 2020 has proven anything to anyone watching, it’s that XZ’s consumer power is still massive, and that his popularity has not waned at all. The fact that he is still sweeping all the awards that require fans to vote, often winning by millions of votes, and the red sea that fans managed to put on for him during the Tencent awards are undeniable symbols of his enduring popularity.
This kind of influence is staggeringly powerful - brands and media outlets that previously might have felt uncertain about XZ as an artist most likely will have positive sentiments towards him as a result.
So, let’s hope that 2021 will be the best year for XZ.
The future is full of possibilities and the sky above is endless.
Edit: @pepeyee Made it clear to me in the replies that I definitely did not clarify myself or my thoughts on all of the above well enough, so I will be writing a response to all of the above to further clarify some points so that there is no confusion about my stance here.
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are you... aware that the term "proship" on tumblr means you're in favor of specifically adult/child ships and not just ship content in general? like. if you are, that's... whatever. but the rest of your blog doesn't seem to have that content so I'm just wanting to make sure you know.
Firstly, I'd like to thank you for wording this so politely--it's just always refreshing when people can curate open, honest dialogue on the internet, and I appreciate the fact that you're being decent.
Secondly, I'm gonna give a short answer here, but expand on this more below for those who want to read it, especially because it adds more context and better explains my particular stance on the matter.
A few warnings: discussions and mentions of adult/child fictional pairings, child sexual abuse, and incest in fiction--all of this is vague and simply covers the topic, not any particular instance. This is not fanfiction, writing advice, zip--just having a conversation about a point of contention within the fandom sphere. Normally, I'd put all of that stuff in the tags, but I don't know what Anon has filtered out and I don't want them to lose their answer. These warnings are only really relevant under the cut, so anyone can skip the long answer and be done with this post if they need to be. As always, please proceed with caution and take care of yourself.
Short answer:
I was unaware that term "proship" on Tumblr was specifically adult/child--I'm on the "proship" side of Tumblr where people complain about antis and being harassed, and the benefits of shipping and the importance of properly tagging content, and most of us use the term to refer to people who aren't against shipping. So that ranges from "it's none of my business what other people ship" to "yes, I actively enjoy this ship that, in reality, would land one or both parties in prison." I'm both of those. I don't condone real-person shipping or erotica written about real people--or really any fiction written about real, living people. I think it's inconsiderate because you're treating a real live person as a character to play god with.
Now... I am aware that generally online, "proship" encompasses incestuous and nonconsensual ships of all kinds, including those between an adult character and a child character. I'm fine with this, so long as creators are courteous and tag their work properly--many abuse survivors (some of whom I know) use content like that to cope, as recommended by the majority of mental health professionals, and their own therapists. I find it a bit odd (not in a bad way!) that you felt the need to clarify this for me because I have posted about it before. Perhaps you have tags that I use on such posts blocked. I do my best to trigger warn for discussions of or content featuring... intense or potentially harmful themes, including abuse and certain ships.
If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Sign yourself with a nickname for me to tag you as if you want. I'll be calling you "New Anon" for this post because, well. Ya' get it, hm? Also, please let me know your pronouns if they/them make you uncomfortable.
Long answer: under the cut
Uhhh... for clarification purposes, when I reference an adult/child ship, I mean a typical mortal pairing--I'm not counting things like Twilight or demons possessing teenagers, because the "rules" of those situations are murky at best and I'm unfamiliar with the general opinions of those within fandom. I'm just not very educated on the topic and it's only something that I've ever dabbled in--most of the pairings I've read about, watched, etc., for any reason, have been either exclusively mortal or exclusively immortal, so.
Personally, I find adult/child "ships" to be very enjoyable if it's an abuse recovery story. If the relationship is framed under a consensual light, I usually don't enjoy it, except if it's a particularly dark fic where the perpetrator is the one whose perspective is being written--I enjoy fiction that turns my stomach. I'm very put-off by a/c fics where the child thinks it's consensual and doesn't grow and learn from that--I like seeing the consequences of the abuser's actions catch up with them, and that is what I seek out from most a/c fiction. There are fantasy/sci-fi elements that can change that, but I'm not going to dive into my erotica taste without request--that would be incredibly rude and assuming. (I don't even know how old you are, either.)
That said, I understand that there are other people who find adult/child ships enjoyable for other reasons. Some pose such relationships under a consensual light, and enjoy them that way, and that's not any of my business. These are fictional characters. I won't lie and say that I "approve of" or "endorse" or "encourage" every single pairing, regardless of its characters, but at the end of the night, it really doesn't affect me. I know how to curate my online experience to be enjoyable and safe for myself, and others are only responsible for their experience and tagging their content (which is very important regardless of the pairing or anything; use the tags!). What other people enjoy in fiction isn't my concern--if they're not harming other people, then really who cares? It's fake, after all.
And yes, there are people that legitimately cannot tell the difference between fiction and reality. That is absolutely true and a valid concern for anyone to have. However, they are not my responsibility, nor are they other creators' responsibilities. It is not my fault if they infer that deplorable actions in fiction are acceptable in real life, regardless of whether it was my content they drew that conclusion from. People's minds are their own, and people who are not capable of healthily curating their internet experience should be aided in that endeavor because internet safety is incredibly important. If I had a friend or relative that needed assistance in this, I would help where I can, but it is not my job as a blogger or creator to make sure my content is "safe"--only that is avoidable.
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hello! loved your tbb meta posts (10/10 analyses of the batch and their respective characterizations), but since it wasn't explicitly mentioned -- did you catch the post-s1 interview with jennifer corbett (head writer) and brad rau (exec producer)? their answers about crosshair's chip being out were Interesting (tm) but fairly definitive-sounding, so I'm wondering what your thoughts on it might've been.
Hey there, anon! Thank you—I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed them :D
I’ve heard this info second-hand and ran into one written interview on the topic (idk if it’s the same one you’re thinking of), but my first response is… arguably a reach lol. Not to start off with a tin hat on, but it’s always possible that the writers are lying. Which yes, yes, we have a knee-jerk reaction against the idea of anyone lying for any reason, but in this case, it would be in service of both the writer’s plans and the audience’s enjoyment. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Crosshair’s chip is definitely still in and the entire point of this setup is a double twist: first the reveal that his chip is gone, then the real reveal that it’s actually still in and Crosshair was lied to (among other possibilities). How can the writers discuss him during hiatus without revealing that twist? By playing the current knowledge straight, despite the fact that they know otherwise. Yup, Crosshair’s chip is out. Yup, he chose this 100% willingly. Nothing else to see here, folks! To do otherwise would be to reveal the twist way too early. Even refusing to answer the question, dodging it, would give it all away. Imagine if during a season finale we’re meant to believe that a character is dead and then during hiatus an interviewer asks how the cast will mourn them. If the writer refuses to answer, every fan will realize that Something Is Up and what’s the main possibility here? That they’re not actually dead! Twist spoiled… unless the writer pretends that what the audience currently knows is definitely the truth here.
Taking my tin hat off now, these interviews are one of the main reasons why I’m worried about the writing moving forward. Because despite the paragraph above, I’m by no means convinced that the writers are skillfully keeping up a lie to avoid spoilers. It’s not outside the realm of possibility, but it’s not necessarily likely either. Which leaves us taking their words at face value and that’s… a problem. Because as so many fans have already pointed out, the writing is setting up a twist that, according to these interviews, doesn’t exist. That doesn’t say good things about their intentions for the show vs. what actually ends up on screen and that kind of disconnect becomes frustrating for viewers very quickly. Take the headaches, for example. I’ve seen a couple of fans explain Crosshair’s away using the engine accident: “His face got burned up, of course his head still hurts. You’re reading too much into this.” But imagine for a moment if I’d tried to do the same thing for Wrecker prior to “Battle Scars”: “He gets thrown around and hits his head nearly every episode, of course it hurts. You’re reading too much into this.” Other fans would have—quite rightfully—explained to me how television works and that this repetitive problem is functioning as foreshadowing of a larger problem. With a side of the fact that this is an action show where the characters consistently shrug off their injuries. We’re not supposed to take Wrecker getting thrown around seriously. He’s the brawn of the group, meant to withstand a lot of damage, with any injuries being presented as either #cool (Wrecker shrugs off Fennec’s hits to go after Omega, yeah!) or #funny (Wrecker treats Crosshair shooting him like a badge of honor lol), not something he’s going to have to grapple with in a serious manner. So the audience recognizes the question, what’s more likely? That Wrecker’s headaches are a deliberate visual cue on the part of the writers to tell us that something important is happening, or that suddenly how the genre treats injuries has drastically changed?
It's precisely the same with Crosshair. He’s not the brawn like Wrecker is, but he’s still the action (anti)hero who shrugs off injuries because this is a show interested in more fun, explosive plot, not a deep dive into recovery. (See also: the story doing nothing with Echo’s trauma.) When Crosshair is injured, he’s immediately fighting to get back into a ship and when we next see him he’s passed the recovery stage entirely. There’s only a scar to show that this happened at all. We don’t watch him getting bacta skin grafts, or worrying about his eyesight, or struggling to eat, etc. The point is that he was injured for the purposes of that episode and now he’s not. So why would we think his headaches are a long-term symptom when the show is otherwise not at all interested in writing long-term symptoms? What’s more likely, that this familiar visual cue is being repeated to tell us that this is the chip, just like it was with Wrecker, or that the story is randomly interested in something it never was interested in before?
The audience is right to think that there’s more going on because the show has been written to say, "Something more is going on." The headaches, Crosshair’s refusal to give concrete information, the group conveniently not using Tech’s scanner, the burn scar hiding where the chip’s scar would be, a lack of motivation for the Empire removing the chip, not seeing its removal when the show did include its power being amplified… all of these are deliberate writing choices to set up another reveal. But, if we take the interview at face value and learn that these weren’t deliberate details… then what? The writers are making mistakes? Throwing in “clues” for the hell of it that they never intend to cache in on? Unless there’s some amazing answer here that allows for both these inconsistencies' explanations and the writers’ hard stance—something I personally can’t think up—then we’re left with is a pretty serious flaw in the show. A flaw that’s going to undermine the audience’s trust in everything we get from here on out. The next time we see something that feels like a cool setup/reveal, half the fandom will be going, “Yes! It totally means that ___ is going to happen!!” while the other half will be going, “… does it? Because we thought things were happening with Crosshair and that went nowhere.” Writers have to tackle the implications of what they’ve put on screen. Otherwise, the story falls apart.
So yeah, I’m aware of those hard “His chip is out and this is his choice” statements and, frankly, they make me nervous for season two. Because what the show needs is to engage with what we actually got in the finale: an ambiguous state of Crosshair’s chip, a number of hints that it might still be in there, and an ethical dilemma that, so far, hasn’t acknowledged how much of an influence the group’s decisions have had on Crosshair’s. I tackled most of this in the first analysis, but something I didn’t unpack there was the “choice” of not leaving with them. I mean yes, by all exact definitions—and if we accept that the chip really isn’t there—then Crosshair absolutely had free will in that moment to do as he pleased. But life is way more complicated than that. Imagine for a moment that I put two candy bars in front of you. “You can have whichever one you’d like,” I say. You reach for the one on the left and I glare, hard. I scoff at you. I mutter about your choices, your personality, your flaws, and your mistakes. So you reach for the one on the right instead and I’m… neutral. Okay then. Right candy bar it is. “They could have chosen the one on the left” someone watching claims. “Nothing was stopping them. No one put a gun to their head!” And yeah, the concept of “stopping them” was never that extreme… but the more compassionate, nuanced look acknowledge that some measure of “stopping them” did exist. Insults. Cruelty. A clear indication that one choice was wrong and the other was right. That’s one hell of an influence, even if it's not as formidable as a gun or a chip.
And that’s what Crosshair is dealing with. Yes, joining the Empire is clearly wrong and yes, a non-chipped Crosshair has free will to walk away from it… but walking towards TBB was never presented as a real option for him. He saw that through their inaction when they never came back for him. Then in Hunter’s refusal to admit that they’d made a mistake in leaving him behind. Wrecker putting all responsibility on his shoulders, despite knowing what the chip does to someone. Tech backing him up and framing this situation as stemming solely from Crosshair’s base personality—“severe and unyielding.” It’s seen in the always-loving Omega walking away from him in the barracks, in Crosshair’s hesitation to follow them to safer ground (and boy oh boy, do I have sad headcanons about that), and most especially, in their reactions to him saving Omega. What Crosshair learns in that moment is that they honestly believe that he, not the Empire's chip, but he would shoot Hunter and that saving their little sister is not a point in his favor. It's met only with glares and a need to disarm himself. They don’t trust him and actions that should produce trust are outright ignored, so… where can they go from here? Nowhere, according to TBB’s actions. They’re not giving Crosshair any wiggle room, any hope that these relationships can be repaired, or any acknowledgement that they had a hand in things getting this bad. So when they offer to let Crosshair come with them—which is very significantly presented as an obligation, not something they want—he knows that offer is BS. Whatever their real feelings might be (because the found family show obviously wants us to believe that everyone loves each other), their actions have said loud and clear that they don’t want him. That yes, he could technically walk onto that ship… but that it would be the “wrong” decision accompanied by more insults, scoffs, and pressure to do otherwise. That once he's there, he'll be treated only as a threat with any good deeds ignored. It's an awful offer outside of it being the morally correct decision when it comes to leaving the Empire... so Crosshair reaches for the right candy bar instead.
That very long tangent out of the way, THIS is what season two has to grapple with, along with all that ambiguity and the existence of these "The chip is still here" hints. But the interviews don’t seem to acknowledge that all of this exists, instead framing things as if we’d ended the finale knowing for sure that the chip is out and had watched a season where Crosshair is 100% responsible for everything that’s happened, no Empire or TBB influence involved. The way the interviews frame things doesn’t match up with the text, so I can only hope this is an example of bad communication, or the writers keeping a spoiler under wraps, because otherwise… season two might be frustrating to watch, with fans continually going, “Why are you ignoring that this happened? Why are you pretending that all of this is simpler than it actually is?”
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What didn't help my whole subconsciously-missionary-minded, silent-echoes-of-Mormonism socialism illusion, which made me think it would be selfish and wrong to demand my own liberation, was the misapplication of standpoint epistemology - put simply, when "identity politics" goes bad.
Putting the rest under a cut, because this is a long post.
While it's crude and ultimately incorrect to only say, for example, "Listen to Black voices", without emphasizing the critical thinking skills and empathy necessary to listen to Cornel West, and dismiss Candace Owens for the right-wing corporate hack that she is, what is for certain is that someone like me, a 100% white American settler of Mormon pioneer stock (on one side of my family, anyway), and with no formal education on the subject matter, doesn't have authority to speak on the experience of Black people in America. I have no argument against that, because it's true.
Continuing further, just because, in spite of the fact neither racism nor colonialism oppresses me, capitalism still does, this doesn't mean I have as much authority to speak on it as a Black member of the working class does, as anti-Black racism and capitalism compound on and depend on each other, making the lives of Black working class people more difficult than the lives of white working class people. Doesn't mean I can't speak on capitalism, just means I'm not the leading voice.
That being said - I'm going to talk as if I'm still a believing Mormon, let alone Christian, in this and the next paragraph, to better explain the subconscious workings of my mind, due to their brainwashing - the difference in our positions can be wrongly perceived, especially by someone raised in the illusory colonial missionary mindset, similar to the position of those with "the gospel" and those "of the world", where those with "the truth" have more, but are, like all, oppressed by "sin", yet at least believe themselves to have the knowledge and wherewithal to resist, while those "worldly" people aren't blessed with the wealth of God's Word, nor the solidarity of the church, and are thus further deprived of the perfection God desires for his children than those of His Flock already are, and must be ministered to, brought into the Fold, and Saved from On High.
Yet there must ever be a humility to such actions, there must ever be self-denial, for all are imperfect, even those in the church, as, just as Christ shed His blood, and allowed His flesh to be pierced, even to His death, in limitless sacrifice for the sins of all of the Children of Men, that they may be redeemed, so have countless socialist, communist, and anarchist revolutionaries died for the cause, and yet all who live, who do not seclude themselves from the world and its markets, facilitate the continued exploitation and robbery of each other by the capitalist class. All are imperfect, and all would deserve bondage and bloodshed, were it not for the bleeding hearts of the martyrs.
So, you see, even someone who consciously attempts to reject Christianity can still fall victim to its logic, even after abandoning the official doctrine of it, if proper safeguards against the general thought processes of it are not taken. Returning to the original point I've tried to raise, I've fallen for a long time to a Christian-esque stance of personal martyrdom for the sake of "saving others" to the point I believed pursuing my own liberation would be selfish.
I'm mentally ill and neurodivergent to the point that getting myself to even get into the habit of seeking jobs is difficult, much more so landing myself an interview; and getting an offer of employment? Only happened once, at the end of my first interview. As you predicted, the job sucked, they were desperate to hire me because it sucks, and it wasn't 3 months before I quit. I quit in late September of 2018. It's been almost 3 years of me not having a job.
I got my driver's license in mid 2019, but got into a minor parking accident that only broke a headlight on the car I drove, and didn't damage the other car, in September of that year. It was over a year before I drove again, because of the depth of my depression and anxiety over one accident, which cost about $150. Since January of this year, I've driven somewhat regularly, and have some measure of confidence, but am still anxious every time I'm behind the wheel. I could drive to and from a job, if needed, but it would be a while before that would be comfortable.
I still live with my dad, at the age of 23, and barely have any friends where I live anymore; those local friends I still have, I haven't seen face-to-face for a long time. My dad... my dad could die any day, and I would be royally fucked. Something happened earlier this month, and he wasn't healthy before, but this was really serious. He amazingly got away with few symptoms, and can make a full recovery with the right effort, except... it could still happen again, it would just be less likely. If it does, he could die. Again, I would be royally fucked. I don't know how much his treatment cost, but I know it must be a pretty penny. There's only so long I can continue like this.
Due to my dependence and general impotent state, I can't do a goddamn thing for what I believe in right now. I have to fight self-hatred with the argument that if I die, I'll have died useless and unhelpful, when I could potentially have kept living til I got my act together and finally done something helpful before passing.
I have a college degree. Not a "real" degree, in the sense of it mattering, but I have an Associate degree, DTA. No major; I never could figure out what I wanted to do. It would have been a close call between anything in political science, which would have led toward a government job, which would be unacceptable as an anarchist, or perhaps a professorial job, teaching would-be politicians and bureaucrats, hardly educating anyone of revolutionary intent; or something in chemistry, perhaps biochemistry, leading to some kind of colonial agrichem shit, or making expensive medicines nobody would be able to afford for private entities' profits, possibly having research appropriated by Uncle Sam for weapons purposes - I don't know, but none of that was appealing. I graduated community college with Honors, as a member of the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I could have had promise as some or other kind of technocrat or bureaucrat - but I wouldn't be able to live with myself. It seems the less one is exploited, the more they exploit others. I don't know what job I can take that would exploit me enough that I wouldn't hurt others so much, while leaving me alone enough that I wouldn't kill myself, which... which has been a temptation, at times. Not too strong, but it is fucking there. I have promise; at short-term memorization and obedience, at least, like a mongrel dog who can read; but no conviction, no confidence, and a surplus of fear.
There are more woes I can recollect, I can continue this pity party in a book, but enough of that. Suffice it to say, all this time, I should have wanted my own liberation. Colonized people (in an American context, Turtle Island Indigenous and Black) have it worse, LGBT* people have it worse, women have it worse, physically disabled people have it worse, people with greater mental disabilities than my own have it worse, and I can't lead any of their struggles. But I do have the right to demand my own liberation, and I shouldn't convince myself otherwise.
*I don't oppose the use of the other word, except people of my demographic have abused that word so goddamn much, I don't want to type it, myself, let alone say it. It's always tainted when it comes from those who aren't of that community. Please don't think I'm either a radfem or a libfem just because I didn't use that word. I support people identifying with that label in using it.
This post became increasingly personal toward the end. However, I hope my flawed perspective, perhaps unique (read: unrelatable) in some aspects, perhaps explaining, at least in part, some of the fucked-up mental hurdles of white socialist "allies" that we need to get our asses over yesterday, might help - whatever I might have illuminated, and whatever I surely missed. I can understand why someone might want to share and add, share and criticize, or leave this alone with a like, nothing at all, or an unfollow.
Not that I can prevent this from being shared in any way, except by not posting in the first place, but I'm okay with it being shared by other socialists, for whatever it's worth... although I understand the more traction it gets, the more likely I'll get anon hate about being full of myself (deserved, to an extent at least), for being some dumb socialist cuck (not exactly wrong, but rude, and likely from a Nazi, so fuck you), or perhaps from non-Mormon Christians accusing me, someone they'd call a Mormon (which is arguably almost a new ethnicity (not race though) as much as it is a religion) of daring to throw the Christian god and Christianity, in general, under the bus, accusing me of being in league with the devil. So be it.
If you're not a reactionary, nor a liberal, nor somewhere in-between, and you want to share this for some reason or another, you may do so.
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So Let Me Get This Straight...
The greatest thing about social media is the ability to interact with people anytime, no matter where in the world they are. Of course, me being extremely open and candid about everything I’m doing, some of the things I’ve gone through, and my training and nutrition makes anything fair game for discussion, and I’m completely cool with that.
I think a search through my posts here and throughout my social media feeds will bring most people to the conclusion that I’m 100% not the guy screaming about being Vegan and attacking other people who aren’t Vegan. I know that exists and I know there are a lot of people like that on both sides of pretty much any argument. Actually, I don’t even fucking refer to myself as Vegan! I just happen to sustain entirely on a predominantly whole food, plant-based diet with limited processed foods. I do my best to eat foods as close to their natural state as possible.
A little background... I came down this path initially because I have battled digestive issues for most of my adult life. Years as a hardcore, musclehead weightlifter that bought into the bullshit and believed we need absolutely ridiculous amounts of protein to recover didn’t help that. Then when I was away from the bodybuilder and powerlifting lifestyle, my diet of chicken wings, burgers, and bullshit food didn’t make me feel or look any better.
Of course, even a moderate shift to real food and reducing all of the cholesterol and saturated fat would’ve made me feel better, and I had done that numerous times throughout the past two and half decades. But I still felt like I was just plodding along, always hungry, yet always full, with food often feeling like it was still in my esophagus.
When I decided to get radical, I needed something new. I was giving all of my vices up at once: Energy drinks, fried food, booze, etc. I had just read Rich Roll’s “Finding Ultra” and found a lot of parallels in his story and mindset and my own, so I thought “Fuck it, why not give it a shot?”
The results were almost instant. I felt absolutely amazing from the start. I expected for reality to set in and feel like shit after a few days without meat, but that never happened. So I kept learning more and more about how to combine my foods to make sure I was getting the micro and macronutrients I needed for optimum health, performance and recovery.
Yeah, shit definitely happened...
Excess weight fell off, what felt like overnight (over 50lbs in the first 12 weeks).
I was able to train and harder than I had in years.
While expecting to ache after my workouts (I’m 43, shit gets hard when you’re old) my recovery was supersonic.
My high blood pressure? Gone. High cholesterol? See ya. Doc pulled me off all bp and cholesterol meds that I had been on since my heart attack scare.
Those digestion issues? Completely non-existent. Reflux? Completely disappeared.
My rest is now better than it has ever been.
No medication. No supplementation. And I feel like a brand new man.
Leading us to why I have this blog and why I engage on Social Media. I say and do some crazy shit - and almost nothing gets anything but a positive response... Except what I eat...
So you couldn’t run 1/4 mile in October and now you’re training for a 140.6 mile Ironman in November? Bad ass!
You workout 4+ hours per day? Fucking awesome.
You’ve lost over 60lbs and are shredded? Same weight as when you were 18? Smaller pant-size than you wore after boot camp? Amazing.
You live off of plants? HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS SO DANGEROUS. WHERE IN THE FUCK DO YOU GET YOUR PROTEIN? YOU CAN’T RECOVER EATING LIKE THAT! YOU’RE GOING TO BECOME BRITTLE AND WITHER AWAY! HUMANS ARE CARNIVORES AND AREN’T DESIGNED TO LIVE OFF OF PLANTS! YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE MAN! YOU ARE GOING TO BECOME A STINKY HIPPY AND VOTE FOR BERNIE SANDERS!!!
Complete insanity. Not sure how I didn’t expect it, but I didn’t. I underestimated people’s emotional and mental stances on food, but I have to admit that it rivals politics and religion.
My schedule is absolutely packed. I love documenting my journey here and on other platforms. I love my career and it requires a HUGE commitment of my time - which is fine because it finances all of the dreams (and we do business and personal goals every month - I’d suggest incorporating this into your life and be hard on yourself). And not to mention Lisa, Peyton, and Ava whom all require their own attention. So I don’t have time to argue and be all hostile to everyone sending me anti-vegan studies and websites. Most are doing it in fun (and it makes me laugh) but there are a few people (and some that I don’t know whatsoever) that have taken it as their responsibility to educate the fuck out of me about my sins of not eating meat and animal products. Some have convinced themselves that they have doctorates in performance nutrition.
Regardless if I was living off of veggies or whatever, there will always be skeptics and haters. I’ve been fairly blessed with overwhelming support, but remember that it could be someone that you share a home with that may be the one telling you that you’re crazy, it won’t work, you’re wasting your time, unnecessary temptation, etc. (If that’s you that lives with that person, tell the one doing it that I said “Fuck you...”)
And again, I’m okay with it. I’m not going to run around recruiting people to my Plant Church and I’m probably not a great advocate. I’m not protesting anyone’s right to choose whatever they want to eat and where they get what they want to eat. I’m just doing my thing and feeling amazing (I’d be lying if I said I’m not wondering where all of the concern was when I was pounding 1/2 pounders from Whataburgers and Wendy’s multiple times per day walking around looking like a disgusting fat slob).
Of course the argument can be made that I feel this way because I lost all of the unnecessary weight, and there is absolutely some truth to that. But I have zero doubt that my nutrition is taking me to goals that I would’ve otherwise thought impossible.
#plantpowered#plantbased#vegan#vegantriathlete#ironmanvegan#xl#fattofit#ironman#ironmantraining#feltcycles#healthyliving#healthylifestyle#myplantpoweredrecipes
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COVID19 UPDATES: 07/21/2020
MORNING:
Spain: Spain's coronavirus rate triples in three weeks after lockdown easing
Texas: Texas COVID-19 death rate up more than 300% since June 1, report shows. Texas has second highest rate of change in the country, numbers show. LINK
RUMINT (Mississippi): A lot of you were talking today about schools opening back up: My sister is a preschool teacher at a large church in the same city in Mississippi where Halo works. They have been doing their summer programs (aka camps / daycare) this summer. My sister said she is the only one wearing a mask and doing extra cleaning, etc. Everyone else has been standing around and socializing per usual. The preschool director sent out a text today to say that she is sick with Covid.
US: More than half of U.S. states have statewide mask mandates LINK
Australia: AUSTRALIA'S VICTORIA STATE PREMIER: STATE REPORTS 374 NEW CORONAVIRUS CASES VS 275 CASES THE PREVIOUS DAY
Georgia: Georgia hospitals divert ambulances as reports of full ICUs continue. LINK
World: Mouth lesions observed in a handful of coronavirus patients, small study says LINK
RUMINT (nurse in Mississippi): Evening. Late to the party tonight. MS is out of ICU beds. We are having to ship pts to surrounding states if they have any availability. Not all are Covid pts. When people hear the hospital is full, they think it's Covid pts. It's not. It's like I said before, the hospital is about half Covid, half normal shit like MI, CVA and trauma. People are still getting gallbladders out, although it's only emergent cases right now. When people don't see the death and dying in the halls like NY or Italy then they don't believe it's happening here. When people see the "leaders" prancing around without masks they don't think they need one either....and here we are. I'm stressed out, more friends are testing positive. Some that have taken the anti-mask stance are now changing their tune since it's hit their family. These are mild cases, too. I think it's the psychological damage that's the worse part of this. People are terrified and when they get it they seem to go straight to "I'm going to die" rather than taking it in stride and treating symptoms as they come....IF they come. I'm tired of fighting people about masks. Wear it if you want, don't if you don't want to. My fucks are all out and I really don't care if you show up needing my help. I'll help you no matter what you think/thought about masks because it's my job.
World: The "smoking gun" proof of replication competent SARSCoV2 from aerosol transmission today LINK
World: Covid-19: ‘Vast majority’ of nurses who contracted virus suffer post-recovery issues LINK
AFTERNOON:
Texas: No high school football anywhere in Texas this year. (Now, THAT is significant!) LINK
World: Experts warn: 'Infection here for many years to come... decades' even with vaccine LINK
World: THE USA HAS REACHED OVER 4.000.000 CASES....WORLDWIDE W'ILL REACH 15.000.000 IN HOURS ...
Maryland: Inbox: Montgomery County (MD) Public Schools now plans to offer ONLINE ONLY education through Jan. 29, 2021. May have hybrid instruction for 2nd semester depending on COVID status. (One of the nation's largest and wealthiest school districts with lots of federal workers.)
US: United States reports more than 1,000 new #COVID19 deaths, biggest spike for 42 days.
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