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ghostsandmermaids · 13 days

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Fandom Manifesto: Hello From The Hallowoods

(Originally written for the Fandomanifesto community on Pillowfort.)

Here's a (mostly spoiler-free) fandom manifesto for my favorite podcast, Hello From The Hallowoods. (Please try to keep the comments on this post spoiler-free as well.)

What is a fandom manifesto?

Inspired by ship manifestos, a fandom manifesto is an essay meant to introduce people to a fandom and promote it by explaining its appeal. It's a really fun tradition that I would love to keep going.

What is Hello From The Hallowoods?

Darker than your dreams, and farther North than you remember, there is a forest where life and death meet…

Hello From The Hallowoods is a queer horror podcast written and produced by William A. Wellman (they/them). This is the official description (taken from Spotify):

Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, a cosmic narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.

It's set in a forest in northern Canada (the Hallowoods) in a post-apocalyptic world plagued by the black rains. The story follows the inhabitants of the Hallowoods—only some of whom are alive and human—as their lives become increasingly interconnected.

The podcast is narrated by Nikignik (he/they), also known as One Hundred Eyes in the Dark, an eldritch god who speaks directly to the listener via their nightmares. He begins to tell these stories because he's grieving his partner, another god called Marolmar (he/him), and humans were the last thing Marolmar created. Over time, Nikignik changes from a more passive narrator to an active character in the story.

There are a lot of characters, including but not limited to:

a nonbinary Frankenstein's creature piercing together their identity

a trans ghost dealing with his occultist father

an invisible man finding love at first sight

a genderfluid storm witch trying to prove themself

a retired rockstar and her punk butch lesbian daughter

a floral-suit-wearing demon on a celestial audit of earth

a starwolf on a mission to kill said demon

a killer robot skull and his pet dead seagull

an unkindness of ravens (yes, they are one character)

… and many, many more.

How scary is it?

It's a horror podcast, so there are some scary moments, but for me, the story feels very comforting and bittersweet as it explores horror tropes in a really unique way. According to the website:

It's been described as a show that helps you sleep easier, rather than one that keeps you up at night.

The story also explores themes like religious trauma, isolation, death, grief, and queerphobia, so please check the content warnings at the end of each episode description or at the start of each episode transcript. Transcripts are available on the website.

Why should I listen to it?

If the description above didn't convince you, here are some more reasons why you should listen to Hello From The Hallowoods.

There is so much content! I often complain about books being almost always standalones or duologies lately and TV seasons only being 8-10 episodes. If I really like something, I want to spend as much time with it as possible!

With HFTH, I don't have that problem because there is so much to listen to! There are currently (almost) 150 episodes available (plus a few live shows and bonus episodes), and new episodes come out every Wednesday. There are also weekly 100-word bonus stories on Patreon, and a tie-in novel called One Hundred Eyes In The Dark is currently in the works, so if you're looking for a story you can get really invested in (or if you're angry that all your favorite shows have been canceled), HFTH is perfect for you!

There are so many queer characters, disabled characters, and characters of color! If you're looking for a really diverse show, you will love HFTH. (I cried when I heard a character describe herself as aromantic.) But even aside from the diversity, the characters are just amazing. I mean, "What if Frankenstein's creature got love and support and was an absolute cinnamon roll?" is the perfect character concept. The villains are also really compelling and well-written.

It's a great introduction to podcasts, especially for book lovers, because it often feels like a very immersive audiobook! The voice acting and music are incredible, and even though there are a lot of characters, you can tell them apart very easily by their voices. If you like fantasy and horror books, this could be your introduction to the world of audio dramas.

That being said, if you have listened to other horror podcasts before, you will still love this one! It sometimes reminds me of Welcome To Night Vale, but the setting and characters are very unique, and the writing is so, so beautiful.

It's also a great introduction to horror! I used to avoid horror media because I get scared very easily, but horror podcasts (and especially Hello From The Hallowoods) made me discover how much I actually enjoy horror. HFTH explores horror tropes in such a kind, unique, and hopeful way, and as sappy as that sounds, listening to it makes the horrors of everyday life a little easier to deal with.

If you like Malevolent (another really great horror podcast), Harlan Guthrie has a guest role in HFTH! You might also recognize Mx. Wellman's voice from other podcasts like WOE.BEGONE, The Silt Verses or Old Gods of Appalachia.

The fandom is amazing! Everyone is so kind and talented, and we always have a lot of fun theorizing about what will happen next. There's even a fan-run Discord server!

We also have a fan wiki, and in addition to the official information, we also have a "fun gender" for each character. Here are some of my favorites:

Tumblr Sexyman (Official)

Eye-Affiliated Podcast Host

Deer that will fuck you up

Whatever the hell was going on with the guy from Shape Of Water

Nightmare Personality

Hot Topic Goth

Dilf Automobile

How do I listen to it?

You can listen to Hello From The Hallowoods on the podcatcher of your choice. Here are some suggestions from the Hallowoods website:

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

Podbean

YouTube

Google Podcasts

It's not an anthology, so please listen to it from the beginning to see how the different characters and plot threads come together.

The show is entirely ad-free and sponsor-free, so if you like it and want to financially support it, please consider joining the show’s Patreon.

And that's it! There are many things I didn't include for spoiler reasons, but this should give you a basic idea of what HFTH is about and why I love it so much.

I hope I convinced you to listen to Hello From The Hallowoods, and maybe you will love it as much as I do!

#hello from the hallowoods #hfth #fandom manifesto #podcast recs #podcast recommendations #horror podcasts #long post

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carpedzem · 2 months

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under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

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isa-ghost · 2 months

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amfmn missa.. p please.. please mother … feed us

I'M BEING ENABLED PPOVERHEAT

He's an actual grim reaper. That's where he's disappeared to so often in canon, reaper duties. It's a very demanding job, you know.

Doesn't stop him from feeling terrible about being gone so often though. He misses his husband and kids and hates how often he's out of the loop :(

Fr though Phil and the kids make him so so happy after spending countless hours working such a sad job. It's also partially why he sings and makes art. That brand of fun is catharsis for the soul.

He has all his canon weapons but I ALSO gave him a reaper deathscythe. And boy is he gonna use it. Fucking AWOOGA MissaSinfonia when he's angry.

Btw as a reaper he can FEEL souls. He can see their power, their condition, feel the surface level emotions and personality of its owner. This will come in handy later in the fic. ;)

As per the post I made asking for Missa appreciation so I can characterize him properly: He's undyingly loyal, he fights hard and loves even harder, he's protective, silly, and goddamn can he flirt.

All his wet cat behavior is a result of getting too overwhelmed by The Horrors. He's seen A Lot as a reaper. But somehow Quesadilla Island and all its... Everything. Always manage to show him a new brand of What The Fuck he's never even imagined before. Hence all his screaming and weeping when he's caught up on what he's missed. Like how tf else is he supposed to react??

Somewhat attached to that, he and Phil rlly were a match made in Federation Heaven bc they both have issues with self-doubt despite being insanely skilled and sharp-witted. Missa is better abt it than Phil though. His only acts up when he messes up a lot or just. Doesn't have a clue how to handle a situation where it's dire that he does. It's more of an insecurity about being unprepared and failing his loved ones than it is a doubt he has skill. He KNOWS he does, he hates when it's not enough. That's how he differs from Phil, who thinks he has none at all.

Btw when you fuck with the people he's protective over, he gets PISSED. We're getting a LOT of pissed off Missa in AMFMN <3 Ofc there'll be a lot of reaper tears too, his husband is suffering and there's little he can do about it. :( But ohohoho when the sad turns into rage. BARK WOOF. Eventually he decides EK is catching these hands and scythe.

He also shakes hands with his husband on being a self-sacrificing little shit. And. Yeah this is gonna happen later in the fic. (He's not dying dw dw)

You have no idea how excited I am that I basically get to build his dynamics with Fit, Etoiles, and Bagi from scratch. I'm so hyped. People are welcome to reply with this with any crumbs we have of their dynamics in canon but afaik they've rarely interacted outside of very minor moments, so AMFMN will largely be a sandbox for me to establish what I THINK they'd be like. Which in my fic plan so far, is largely taking each character's personality and applying how I think they'd react to a situation, and how that would look when two of them are interacting in that situation. Ex: at one point Etoiles has to comfort Missa bc he's just having a ROUGH time with this saving Phil stuff. But Etoiles is NOT a comfort guy. So he does his Etoiles thing: hearing Missa out while also cracking his usual brand of jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I also have a plot point planned with him and Bagi when shit is hitting the fan the hardest and OUUGHHH. That self-sacrificing shit am I right.

God I'm being so mean to him specifically in AMFMN though. Ender King is a sack of shit, he knows exactly who to harass most using Phil's body >:/

See in my AMFMN Fitza headcanons, I said they're each other's confidants. Which IS true. However, no one in the fic gets the honor of Phil FINALLY communicating with someone about his issues other than his husband. Missa is the person he caves and confesses things to. Missa gets the HC Deity lore and what's been happening to him lately. This is actually what Chapter 3 is :D

Also I am so sorry but I'm sliding a Missa Romantic Love Confession attempt into the fic and it gets interrupted by The Horrors. But yeah Missa is romantically in love with Phil, he just respects that Phil sees things platonically. He still wants to communicate his feelings though.

#qsmp #qsmp pissa #pissa #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #AMFMN things #deathduo #qsmp deathduo

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heartsofminds · 5 months

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and the songbirds are singing like they know the score - sneak peek

"Because doing what’s best for her is hard, and he realizes that when he can feel his friend wanting to put him through a wall over the phone." or Jake calls the landline at 11 PM on a Thursday because his goddaughter is wasted and Bradley is less than thrilled.

A/N: in light of me finishing my second to last semester of undergrad and my undying love for Bradley's precocious daughter from the halloween fic, i thought i would post a little preview of what i'm working on for them! love these characters more than life and def so excited for y'all to get to know them better soon.

No one ever calls the landline. Very few people even have the phone number for the landline outside of Maverick and a few close family friends. Besides, anyone who would need to reach you had your cell phone numbers anyway.

So who the actual fuck is calling your landline at 11 PM on a Thursday night?

You hear Bradley yank the phone from its place on the wall and exhale with a huff. After sixteen years of being together, you know that huff is his tell of being annoyed.

“Hello?” he gruffly answers. His irritation makes the questions sound more like a monotonous statement.

“Bradshaw –”

Jake Seresin is on the other end of the line. You can recognize his voice from the other room with his cadence even though you’re not the one on the phone with him. Having “mom ears” does that to a person, you suppose.

“Why the fuck are you calling my house at 11 PM?” Bradley snaps.

You’re wondering the same thing, but you’ll have to talk to him about being so rude and huffy. Jake may actually need something, after all.

“Well you weren’t answering your fucking cell and neither was your wife so I had to do something.”

Bradley rolls his eyes and looks back into the darkened living room. He’s been more on edge about you lately.

“You can’t miss me that fucking much to be spamming my phone with calls,” he sighs and leans his back up agaisnt the wall. He notices the open blinds on the back door and starts to walk to close them before he’s yanked back by the phone cord.

“Don’t cream your pants. I don’t like you that much.”

Bradley lets out a soft snort in amusement before he remembers that he’s supposed to be annoyed. He opens his mouth to ask Jake what exactly it is that’s so damn important and can’t wait until tomorrow morning when he’s beaten to it.

“I have Quincy here in the passenger seat and she’s beyond unwell.”

The statement sends Bradley into panic mode instantly. His voice catches in his throat and he can’t recall a moment he’s had where he’s felt like he’s had to force the breath out of himself like this.

He lets out something between a huff, a cough, and a wheeze before remembering he can’t make a huge show of himself right now because it’ll also throw you into panic mode.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s not well? Jake, where the fuck are you?” he whispers into the phone, trying to cover his mouth as much as possible so you can’t even read his lips if you tried. “Is she okay? What’s –”

It doesn’t take a genius to know that Bradley is panicking. Even Bradley’s beyond intoxicated and passed out seventeen-year-old daughter sitting in the passenger seat of Jake’s truck could piece together that her father is nothing but a raging ball of anxiety at the moment, and Jake is positive that his friend is growing another patch of gray hair as the seconds pass.

“Oh. . . fuck, I guess I should’ve phrased that better,” Jake admits. His truck comes to a halt at a spotlight and he glances over at his goddaughter. “She’s fine. She’s definitely drunk as shit right now, but I’m on the way to drop her at yours.”

Bradley can feel the obnoxious orange ball of anxiety inside of him shift to a tumultuous rage induced scarlett. His hand tightens around the cord of the phone and he has to stop himself before he yanks it out of the wall. He’s gotten angry like this before, but it never was angled toward his daughter.

Never toward his sweet, precious girl. Never toward his amazing Quincy.

But she knows the rules (and she chose to break them) and she knows what was told to her (and she snuck out anyway) and she knows that it’s dangerous to be that drunk (but yet she’s passed out in Jake’s truck).

And if that isn’t both nerve-wracking and frustrating, Bradley doesn’t know what is.

��Put her on the phone,” he speaks lowly.

Jake gulps, knowing that he’s in one of those moods. Bradley doesn’t express anger as often as he expresses annoyance, but an angry Bradley is never someone he wants to be around. And from the way that Quincy made it sound when she called him to come get her from some random party in the middle of nowhere thirty five minutes away from her house at 11 PM on a school night, he knows her ass is being had tomorrow morning by both you and Bradley.

There’s absolutely no way his goddaughter is coming out of this unscathed.

“Dude, she’s obliterated right now and I think you talking to her is just gonna make it worse.”

“And I don’t give a fuck. I said, put her on the fucking phone now.”

Jake shakes his head and rolls his eyes as Quincy begins to stir next to him in her seat. He’s always been the person she’s called whenever she was in trouble. He always got the first hug whenever she was brought around. He’s always been her source of comfort outside of her parents and he’s never minded it because being around her is easy.

It was easy to carry her around whenever she asked when she was little. It was easy to give in and let her sit in the cockpit of his grounded aircraft with him and let her play with the buttons when her dad and Papa Mav refused. It was easy to pick her up from school mid-day and take her to lunch. It was easy to bring her back gifts from whenever he was deployed and even easier picking them out because she’s a sucker for meaningless trinkets.

It was easy to be her godfather and she’s a smart and relatively easy kid, but Jake has never been prepared for this part.

Because doing what’s best for her is hard, and he realizes that when he can feel his friend wanting to put him through a wall over the phone.

“No,” he speaks and he can hear Bradley let out a small gasp at the denial of his request, “She fucked up bad, Bradley. I’m sure she knows and you can have it out with her tomorrow morning, but right now, she’s not in any place to be screamed at and made to feel worse. You’re her dad and m’not tryin’ to take that away from you –”

Bradley scoffs, “What exactly do you fuckin’ know about raising kids, Jake? Huh?”

Jake grimaces and decides to take the brute of Bradley’s anger. Better him than Quincy, he figures. Besides, he knows Bradley doesn’t mean any of it. . . At least he hopes he doesn’t.

“You obviously can’t be a dad because you just wanna have fun and dick around all the fucking time. Buying them fuckin’ candy and letting them off scott-free doesn’t do shit. You don’t have what it takes to raise a fucking person.”

Jake doesn’t know why, but part of him starts to get that prickly feeling in his chest. Usually, every insult rolls off his shoulders into oblivion and he gets off on making people angry and being able to put on the facade that he really couldn’t give a damn if he tried.

But this one hurts because he knows that Bradley is right in some regard.

He’s a runner and he lets people down. He’s nearing fifty (and God, he never thought he ever would) and has never even bothered to settle down. And he’s made the peace with himself a long time ago that he doesn’t deserve a wife or a family or kids because he would never be able to love them more than he loves himself; more than he loves his career.

To hear one of your closest friends admit that to you openly, to know that someone outside of you sees it too, makes his heart stop momentarily and forces him to feel the ache of the words meant to stab him in the chest.

“I understand,” he swallows. He knows arguing with Bradley isn’t the right thing to do at the moment and never will be. “I’m still not putting her on the phone. We will be at your house shortly.”

The line goes dead and Bradley is overcome with a wave of anger that drowns him like a tsunami. He knows what he said was shitty and that he has no right to do that to someone who he considers a close friend, but he just can’t help himself.

He knows no allies when it comes to his daughter.

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pigeon-smidge · 3 months

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✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven. ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings.

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences.

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it.

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’, but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’ is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand), Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

‘we could’ve been …. us.’

‘our side.’

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song).

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him. ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!!

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’ Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy.

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from.

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him.

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness.

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me).

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

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once-upon-an-imagine · 1 month

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It's been a very long week and it being that time of the month definitely did not help 😂 I've had more mood swings than I felt in a while and I am so exhausted! so I am going to bed but I want to write and update Smile this weekend but I only have a few sentences and ideas written down so far (anyone who wants to come into my inbox with suggestions or ideas is more than welcome!)

I also have some stories that I already started and are either half-way there or literally only one part missing 😂 so I wanna try writing one of those next!

thank you for always voting and for all your patience and love, dearies! summaries and descriptions of each request are below!

Argyle - Cielito Lindo

[Byers!Reader] Argyle is staying with your family when his parents are out of town. You know he’s been feeling down because he has to celebrate his birthday without them. So, you try to do something to cheer him up. (Sequel to Build Me Up, Buttercup) [Not requested]

Billy Hargrove - A Little Death

Anonymous - Where the reader is known to break hearts. Not because its fun for her but she does it to protect herself and the person. She is convinced that whoever gets close to her heart either ends up hurting her or she ends up hurting them so she always ends it by leaving them - ultimately hurting them before they can hurt her. When Billy starts getting interested in her and she suddenly leaves just when he thought things were going good, he doesn’t back down to find out why and once he does he makes it his mission to show her that he is there to stay and protect, despite being known for leaving and destroying. 2. Anonymous - since you are taking requests, could i request a Billy fic with the following prompts from the prompt list you talked about in your latest post ? “Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me.” “Just, please don’t leave me.” “I don’t want you to die for me. I want you to live for me.” + “As you begin to fall asleep, you feel a gentle kiss pressed to your temple and a blanket draped over you.”

Billy Hargrove - RIP, Love

1. Anonymous - Where the reader breaks up with Billy because he has been toxic and Billy goes and tries to find love in other women. But he gets frustrated because they don’t touch him (physically and mentally) the way the reader always did. He gets angry trying to teach them but none come close to the actual thing until he gets so frustrated that he crawls back to her and tries everything to fix it. 2. Anonymous - “I feel like I’m falling apart.” with Billy Hargrove?

Billy Hargrove - Highway To Hell

[Munson!Reader] When you are tired of your brother and your boyfriend arguing all the time, you come up with a plan that finally makes them work together and at least not murder each other.

Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson - Pink Shirt

This was not requested is just a small thought I had based on the fourth pic of this post

Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson - Any Way You Want It

Against your boyfriends’ wishes, you decide it’s what’s best for everyone if you are the bait for Vecna. You stay back in the attic with Max and Lucas. Steve and Eddie try to make it back as quickly as they can but it might be too late. (Warning: reader is cursed by Vecna and gets hurt) [I have renamed this story like 50 times 😂 ]

Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Everyone in your group could feel the sexual tension between you, Steve, and Eddie. Which is probably why they all ganged up and planned to have the three of you share a bed to see if you would finally admit your feelings.

Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson - A Sunday Kind Of Love

For six months, you had been fine with having a secret relationship with Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson. But that changes when a very special day for you approaches and you want them both by your side and for that to happen, a few rules might get broken. [Not Requested]

Sirius Black - Just Give Me A Reason (Ch5)

[Snape!Reader] Coming back for another year in Hogwarts meant you and your brother were away from your worst tormentor. But when your school tormentor finds out about it, things are about to change and you are not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. (Warning: mentions of abuse)

Charlie Weasley - Jaded (Ch2)

Charlie Weasley had been the biggest pain in the ass for the majority of your life. Especially now that you had to survive two weeks with him, and four dragons.

Evan Buckley - Brave

[Not requested] something I’ve been thinking of where Evan notices something’s making you upset when you reveal your new haircut to the team and it leads to some confessions (a bit angsty but happy ending)

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staybeautifulmp3 · 2 months

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she's so patronising to him though like a relationship like that would be so annoying. he doesn't need to be told what he feels and what to do about it every day. they're fine as besties but he doesn't want more

two questions: genuinely, im not trying to be snippy at all, is this in reference to something ive said? i checked my recent postings i couldn’t find anything?? and second, um you didn’t specify who you’re talking about .. im guessing donna and harvey on usa legal drama suits? im just gonna answer to the best of my ability, as if this is about donnaharvey which im like 90% sure it is?? okay

i mean, respectfully, i would certainly push back on the idea she “tells him what to do” cus she’s certainly his emotional intelligence like she tells him what hes thinking—or at least her interpretation of what he’s thinking. theres certainly evidence of that, the scene that comes to mind is its in late s3, and mike wants to leave to take the finance job, and harvey snaps at scottie, and donna (very gently) reprimands him for it, and she tells him he’s hurt not angry “you’re hurt and the anger covers the hurt, but i know you didn’t know that.” she definitely provides him with insight into his emotions, but in a way i would argue any friend would.

there’s also a scene from season 2(?) i think, where donna is trying to get harvey to pursue scottie and she tells him to his face “i know your mother hurt you but you need to get over it” or, in other words “sorry about your mommy issues but you need to grow the fuck up.” and again i think thats a perfectly reasonable thing to say as a friend to your friend—she sees him hurting and lonely and she can do something about it, all she needs to do is encourage him to seek out a relationship with a woman who loves him, i think that’s perfectly acceptable.

i really dont see how its patronizing in any way? i mean there are certainly a couple jokes like “men are so stupid lol” but nothing that has really stood out to me as anything different than 2010s network drama gender politics, and so few and far between i cant think of any specific instances off the top of my head.

second of all, to the best of my knowledge (having seen up to 6x05 atp), that all stops when he starts going to therapy. i cant think of a single instance after season 5 when she tells him what hes feeling (i mean maybe she does in seasons 7, 8 + 9 but i haven’t seen it so i cant say lol)

but from what ive seen, her telling him his emotions stops when he starts receiving therapy with a trained professional. and thats just healthy! yknow he no longer needs to be told what hes thinking because he’s learning more about himself and his reaction to trauma and how to be a more functionally stable adult. and after that is the only way he can keep and maintain a meaningful, productive relationship.

also, not to be crass but i 100% think harvey goes face down ass up when someone tells him what to do (especially if its mike or donna or jessica)

finally i do fully respectfully disagree that “theyre good as besties but he doesn’t want more” first of all, i think you might be confusing his repression and inability to parse his love for donna as a woman and his love for donna as a friend, as a lack of attraction. i think a) hes very repressed and messed up from his childhood so like, he can fuck people but loving people is a whole other story and b) he absolutely loves her as a friend, and i think he’s just boxed up his attraction and affection for her since they moved to pearson hardman 10(?) years ago.

second of all, gabriel macht and sarah rafferty you can tell has SOOOOO much fun together and they have so much chemistry, so i distrust any interpretation of donna and harvey that doesn’t think they wanna fuck each others brains out

what was i talking about? i dont think i have a closing statement, i just think donna and harvey’s relationship re:her telling him what to do is completely legitimate and follows a natural progression of two people trying to be healthy adults

#this is like 700 words .. anyway thank you anon! i genuinly enjoy things like this as an intellectual excercise #amanda.mail #suitsposting

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lostinvasileios · 22 days

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Hey so, I'm sorry if this is intrusive since I haven't seen you post a lot about this but could you say what your experience with Yeshua or Jesus has been like so far? I left catholicism a long time ago, but I feel strangely called to him no matter what I do. And I don't like the church, I don't like the bible, but I want to oddly accept this feeling and see what happens with him now that I am out of my old abusive home and forced religion.

-☁️

Hello, bumblebee! It's not intrusive at all, I was planning on posting about them sooner or later, actually! Thanks for sending in your ask. 🍄🤍

Firstly, congratulations on getting out of that!! I'm so glad you made it out alright and trying to heal those wounds.

Now, I want you to know - you don't need to connect with churches or bibles to worship Yeshua, to communicate with him, ect. And, I get it - I never personally liked churches, I never felt any sparking connections to the bible, and - this all played its parts in my falling out with him at first.

I'm queer, and that alone was called filthy, or impure. Seen as something to be ashamed of and try to hide or tame. My gender identity and sexuality/romantic preferences have always been spoken about with hatred, judgement, or just blatant intolerance by my family & the religious leaders I was around at the time.

I didn't want anything to do with Yeshua when I left the religion. I couldn't get myself to face him, since I felt like he intentionally ignored me. Like he truly, heartfully hated me as much as everyone said he did.

But, one night, very very early into my journey... He appeared to me. And, at first - I was... Really shaky about it. I was super... Um... Emotional. To put it lightly, haha. I had a lot of conflicting thoughts, feelings, ect.

But, despite how angry, how sad, how - everything, I felt during that time, I remember how calm he was with me. How patient and understanding. Yeshua never cursed me, he never yelled, he never spoke to me with anger or any sort of negativity. He was, and is, very adamant on telling me that my identity, everything about who I am, is beautiful to him. How much he loves me, every part of me. How I am not a sinful creature, how I am not some mistake in a code to write out or bended metal to fix, yet a beloved soul he holds very dear to him.

Even after knowing how he felt about me, I still had issues really... Letting him in. I've never had a good relationship with any father figures I've had, and I didn't have a good relationship with him either. The reason I bring up father figures here, is because I found out quite quickly through my soul self that - well - Yeshua does take on the role of a father figure for us. He's spoused to my soul, he truly does care for me. He loves me, he wants to be there for me, to protect and reassure me. And that was hard to grasp for a long while.

In my own UPG of him, I've found out a lot of him. Of his troubled past, of his regrets, his traumas. He's been through a lot. And, he put in a shitload of work to try and heal from everything he was put through as a young god to where he is now. He knows he's hurt many people, he knows people use him to hurt others, he knows he's unfairly been put on to a higher shelf to the mass public. And he wants to make up for it. He wants to be that god I saw him as before I went through the incidents that caused me to fall out in the first place.

As of late, I've been trying to ease my way into him more. I've accepted him, but it can still be rocky for me at times. I crave for his love, and I know he craves for mine, as well. He's been trying to allow me to know just how much he loves me, with poetry and deep discussions on any and everything I was/am curious about. Gifts, affections, ect. But... Unlearning the church, and relearning Yeshua is difficult. He knows this. He went through the same things in his own variants.

You also don't need to be Christian or anything to worship him. He knows I am not Christian, and still very much loves me and accepts me. He isn't a forceful guy, not for the most part. Since, yes, he's healed a lot of his old ways and trauma habits, but he, like any god or soul at all, he can have his darker sides. Just as he can have his wholesome ones.

I've come to see he's also queer. Which is nice. We talk about our husbands/wives together over a nice glass of wine sometimes - whenever we aren't sobbing in each others arms about things.

#to: yeshua #Me and my deities will often do that. We're just a bunch of sobby saps #witchcraft #witch advice #deities #deity work #deity witch #mother witch advice #I want you guys to listen to this connected feeling you have towards deities more often #Please #For the sake of the literal lords #It's valid and important and a sign in itself I promise #If you feel connected with Yeshua - leap for it!! Or inch into it. Just see what happens. It's better than being curious and confused #yeshua deity #deity jesus #He's a sweetheart honestly

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white-poppie · 2 years

Text

MISS THE RAGE!

Characters: Gon, Killua, Kurapika

Request: hmm......then may I request hxh with a s/o whose main source of power is hatred/rage? the characters can be anyone u want (i hope ya understand what I meant) @innerpurple

A/N: aye! aye! Captain! Sorry for the late response, I was busy with school work TwT.

Me is 15, me can write for Killua and Gon. If you big and read. you pedo :P

GON

"So is this how I acted when I got that power boost?"

Is kind of concerned, and makes sure to not make you angry at anything.

Thinks your ability is very cool and asks a lot of questions about it.

Ends up having brain overheating 😶‍🌫️.

He is just so nice about it, oh my god. <3

"Y/n, Y/n, Y/nnnnn~!" he drawls swinging his legs.

You sigh and close whatever you were doing and look at him, "yes, Gon?"

A small pout appears on his lips, "are you angry?"

A smile breaks its way on your face, "no, bubba, no tell me, what were you saying?"

"So does your special attack work even when you are warm, or under the sun? I mean, technically it should right?"

You blinked and looked at him, "where did you- no- that makes sense-."

*cue existential crises*

Killua

"Okay, and?" 🫤

This guy, is so unbothered by it. Like cool, you have a self-destructive nen-ability, but that ain't my problem, mama.

Although if you end up super enraged, he might get a little scared. Because he gets reminded of Illumi.

Poor baby starts shaking.

From then on, you are super cautious whenever you are using your ability near him.

"Killua, I swear to god, this is not funny," you huffed, crossing your arms in front of your chest, "you irresponsible can you be?"

"Calm down, it isn't that big of a deal," he brushed you off.

"You are not funny, Killua!" you shouted at him and he stopped in his tracks to look at you. Your aura was menacing, suffocating.

He gulped and shut his eyes to calm himself down, your voice drowned under his heartbeat.

"Killua," you questioned so softly like your words might crumble him down, "s-shit, I'm so sorry, I-i didn't mean-"

Killua opened his eyes to look at your hunched figure, tears were lining your waterline. Unaware of how to respond, he simply nodded and went to cool his head down.

Kurapika

The concept isn't something very new to him. After all, his nen also works on the feeling of vengeance.

What concerns him is seeing his dearest s/o have the same self-destructive tendencies as him.

His heart hurts every time he sees you rage. Thinking of the best ways to calm you down.

Yet at the same time, he is intrigued and inquisitive about your skills.

How do they work? Are there any downfalls, or side effects?

If there are, this man is always making sure he has things to aid to you the quickest.

"You seriously need to control your anger," he says while examining the damage on the tree, "you can end up hurting yourself badly.'

"M' sorry," you replied, "but seriously you are one to talk."

Kurapika pursed his lips to not smile, "let us talk about you for now."

"Fine, fine."

"You need a bandage on your knuckles," he traced them and you hissed, "come on, let's get you cleaned up."

(A/N: 😭🤎🫶 I love him so much.)

Tags: @sakinotfound, @akumicchi, @nanaseishiro, @rintaroubby, @kristaline2dmensimp, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle

╰┈➤ Special customers(Taglist)╰┈➤ Book order details (Request Rules)

If the taglist link doesn't work, DM or ask under the post <3

⤗ Hunter x Hunter (ハンタ x ハンタ)

#hxh fanfic #white poppie🌼#hxh #hxh kurapika #gon hxh #hunter x hunter #killua #gon #gon x reader #killua x reader #kurapika x reader #hxh fluff #hxh fluff headcanons #kurapika fluff #gon fluff #killua fluff

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alparlaboratories · 27 days

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Gonna ramble about Inyssa for a little bit.

Is it conceited to make a post about your own character's themes and stuff? Maybe. Whatever.

@inpurpleandred has been rereading and commenting on CoT and some of the stuff they said gave me ThoughtsTM about Niss, so here they are under the cut. It's long, and y'know... warning for all the stuff Niss goes through.

So you know that tumblr post that goes something like 'I'm probably X (trans, queer, bi, etc.) but I got much more pressing shit going on to deal with that at the moment'? That's how I viewed Niss'... everything while writing CoT. Partly because yeah, Niss really has so much shit going on that more urgently requires her attention during much of her story, 90% of it being Shadi's fault of course.

And she does deal with a good amount of it during the fic itself, mostly regarding her own self-worth, her feelings about her family and her own warped view of strength and heroism. And it's only near the end and the epilogue that she can even begin to consider anything else about her life.

And I think in that time, in those years between CoT and my future story, Niss does think about it, and tries things out, experiments and tries to find a place for herself in herself. And she realizes that she both has severe self-image issues and also some gender stuff going on maybe, but they're not actually related.

During much of the fic, Niss sees her body as separate from herself, as early on as the first chapter. It's a form of detachment that allows her to be angry at herself in self-harming ways that -in her head at least- don't clash with her vow to never hurt herself again like she did in the past.

And she is very, very angry at her body. It's a bitterness that keeps boiling under the surface of her skin whenever she's unable to do something she feels like she should. She sees her body as just a thing covering the real Inyssa, and feels like a chick who never got to break out of its shell. And though she tries not to admit it, one of her biggest fantasies is to literally rip herself apart like a molting snake and for the 'real' Inyssa to come out of the dregs, pristine and perfect.

And in a way, it's true, but it's not her fault. It's both Shadi and Johanna's (And Sarah's too, but for different reasons). Who is the most to blame is debatable, but regardless, it's because of them that Inyssa feels this way.

Because yeah, as one of my readers once said, the Dawn family is full of women who are made of stick and stones, but Inyssa takes that to an extreme. There's a chapter where Barry mentions that Niss was once noticeably taller than him, and she was! And she would've continued that trend, eventually growing as tall as Shadi if not taller, if she'd had a normal childhood.

But she didn't. Johanna neglected both of her daughters, and partly because of that -and her own bad tendencies- Shadi ended up doing much worse, especially psychologically, to Inyssa. And then she left. So Inyssa was left severely depressed and gaunt for arguably the most important years in terms of physical growth and development. Johanna says so herself; she practically starved herself, eating only as much to keep herself alive and not doing anything else. And she kept getting worse, and worse, until eventually she attempted suicide. Which, of course, only made the situation worse.

And by the time she was forced to start taking care of herself, it was too late. Her body was frail, and the malnutrition she'd suffered caused invisible scars that stunted her growth for the following years, making Inyssa feel like there was a disconnect between how strong her willpower was compared to her actual body. And so she went on hating said body, cursing it for all her problems because she didn't know who was really to blame.

It's also an endless spiral, because she could've gotten better if she'd taken better care of her body, but why would she, from her own perspective? So she treated her body worse, and it inevitably got worse, so she got even angrier, etc. It's only when she goes on her trainer journey alongside Barry, someone who cares to help her, that she starts getting better. And of course, following the end of the fic and the Epilogue, she's actively trying to eat and sleep more, to treat her body more kindly, like it always tried to do with her.

And it's only then that she has enough time and peace of mind to think about herself, her gender and all that. Now, Niss has always been bi. One of the few good things about Johanna as a mom is that she was unapologetically bi herself, and supported her daughters in learning their own sexual identities, Niss coming out as bi eventually, and Shadi as a lesbian.

After that, I think Niss would happily try new things, whenever she got the time. And though she would keep doing so even years and years after the fact (well into this new Hoenn fic and beyond) from an author perspective I think she'd eventually see herself as a baby butch, a pretty boygirl who loves wearing suits and ties and looking like she's straight out of a visual novel full of bishonen men.

And I love that for her, honestly.

#pokemon #child of thorns #inyssa dawn #cw: suicide attempt mention #cw: self harm

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monstrouslyobsessed · 8 months

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some of these are SUPER old, gomen, so it'll be all under the cut for yall sanity. i really need to start answering more timely rip

tw: mild implications of noncon (cerelos), psychological mindfucks (cerelos), mentions of pregnancy (dol)

Oh, I can wait for your content as long as it takes! Creating is not an easy task, so take your time, dear. Ofc, posting everyday is cool, blah-blah, but your health and mental state is much more important. Don't worry about this <3 And talking about DoL, did you get to Ivory Wraith already? Who is your faves generally? —anonymous

did i not answer this before??? tumblr, please. anyway, ye i did! plotwise, very very fascinating. gameplay wise, annoying as heck when i was in middle of things i was working towards to lol i do wish ivory wraith's plot wouldn't be centered around weird anal/ear/whatever pregnancy tho, thats…kinda not my thing kdshkds--and thats coming from someone who writes preg on the regular. pls dev.

Ahhhh don't feel bad! Ur content is top-tier and u r a lovely perfect bun! Even quick look on your post is enough to feel that you're always working hard to give your best – it's we who should be thankful for all food u r giving </3

A lot lot lot of love to ya, dear 🥰 @iwanthistongue

dawww thank you dear <3333 i just wish i have it in me to be the super productive like some of the epic writers on this platform, but i dont dsklhdsl so all i can do is to do my best and provide every so often <3 also sorry that i cant seem to ping you???

Omg you're into dol? Who's your favorite character so far? —anonymous

eden, tbh! i ran into a scenario where they kidnapped me angry after being gone for too long. oof, what happened after that…wheeoooow but most of the characters are pretty dang good too!! i'd like to focus more love on kylar but theyre quite...annoying gameplay wise so…augh lol

i crave more beastfolk content 🤤 maybe something with a male reader dealing with a few yandere beastfolk who are trying to one-up each other and compete for him? male!yandere x male!reader content is a bit hard to find, especially if it's transmale!reader —anonymous

just send in an ask and i'll see what i can do! i found writing male readers (be it cis or not!) a little tricky sometimes, because i always feared crossing that…bad line, yanno? in spite of the contents i write.

that said, i'm all for writing more gays, just need a little nudge and sparks to write one~

have you heard of scp 401? —anonymous

…huh, this is a pron in the making. but no! this is the first ive heard of it. im aware of scp and knew some of its characters but not this one!!

Happy bday! I hope you got yourself a nice treat! —anonymous Happy birthday, dear! 🥳—anonymous Happy (i guess)late birthday, luv!!! Thank you for writing at this special day, hope your day was amazing <3 —anonymous

ohhhh this is months late;;; im so sorry but thank you all so much for your kind bday wishes!! ily all a bunch!!!

OMG YESSSS LORE!!! MORE MORE MORE <333 Thank you for the food, I can't stop re-reading 😭😭😭 —anonymous

ye~i mainly wanted to do more centaur pron tbh LOL glad you liked my nasty bois!

For a few days I had a thought- I hope it's ok to share ahaha- Okay, so – after getting in his grasp his future bride were acting so, so good. Her dedication is admirable, she's a quick learner and charismatic enough to get the liking of the teachers and maids. Her gentle and caring nature shows while she's communicating with others – no surprise everyone likes her. She's the same she was the day he met her... But the thing is, after all of this, she's absolutely terrified of Cerelos. She's not crying and wailing, but she's getting so quiet, so uncomfortable in his company, she always hiding her eyes and never tries to speak first – and she trembles so, so bad every time they're touching! Last time she even fainted from all nerves. How he may act and how mad he would be that servants getting more smiles and laughs than him? —anonymous

hmmm depends on why the darling is frightened tbh are they always afraid or is this started after cerelos took them the first time? i do imagine he'd be pretty upset and even offended, though he won't outwardly show his feelings. he'd probably start ordering the servants to disappear whenever the darling is in sight, be invisible, to further isolate them, to force them either to face their loneliness and/or accept cerelos as their emperor and husband. since humans are in nature social, they'd naturally long for some form of company and possibly some skin to skin contact.

in short, since the coecrced sex doesn't seem to do enough, cerelos would've likely infict some psychological damages on his darling to force them to accept him. he wouldn't be…physically abusive, no, but he will emotionally and mentally cripple his darling without relying on cruel words and uses some amount of gaslighting.

regardless, you will only have him and you will love him. he is, after all, your emperor and husband. why wouldn't you embrace him and his power?

Hi! I hope this is okay to ask: I saw one of your slightly older asks, and you mentioned you have a draft with a slime monster. I'm very curious about that one (but I also love your writing in general!), so I just wanted to ask you if you plan on finishing it —anonymous

.....sdhdflsk i thought i posted it, gosh dang it. well, i'll look into this later. if nothing else, it would be nice to go back and post my shitty 5 minutes thoughts again.

Hello how are you ? Hope you are doing well ❣️ I wanted to ask if you will continue or write anything similar like the rabbit hybrid fic ..it's my fav and i also like the ghost husband fic ..sorry if i made u uncomfortable👉👈...Have a nice day💖 —anonymous

i'm doing better!! <3 ty for checking in, luvvv

and after some waffling around, i considered since human/beastfolk hybrids are so rare and are considered the 'monsters' of their world (ig basically, considered as 'mythical', like yeti's and such, but actually does exist, kind of monsters), i figured it couldn't hurt to make these sad hybrids canon to my universe soooooooo ye i wouldn't mind doing more of them!! also i've done a crocodile hybrid one, if you've missed that one.

no, no, you're good! <3 loves getting asks like this~

the momster is back!!! we missed you, hope you’re having a good day <333 (p.s i am a monster fucker through and through, i will literally read and love anything you write mwah) @letskidaddle

daww youre so sweet!!! <3 ty!! monster fuckers united!!!! and yes you have a lovely day as well!!

whewwww, thats some asks to get through hhhh but man tumblr is so ugly. anyone know the fix to get it back to its simple self??

anyway, im slowly getting into the swing of things. got couple wips i can work on, maybe, and clear the inboxs for a fresh start (sorry to anyone who were waiting on certain things!! you can send them again tho!! a clean slate is needed imo). anyway, hope yall are doing wonderfully <3

#ghosts are curious.👻#☠️not writing...#anonymous #asked #answered

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teenwolf-theoriginals · 9 months

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over the past week, i've gotten some lovely messages asking if i'm okay, where i was, basically kind anons sending love. and then there were a few anons who asked about my peaky fics. this is kind long, so i'll put it under the "keep reading" line.

firstly, thank you to those who checked in. am i okay? not really, that's why i took time away. lately, it has been a real struggle with writing. i know it seems like i'm singing the same old tune. but this time around it felt different. i needed to step away, take time out for me and try to figure out why mentally i wasn't connecting with writing. i haven't completely figured it out, i'm still slowly working through falling back in love with my writing. it's been small steps this past week. i have written a little more for the shelby chaos family, organizing the stories has helped me break them down, it's just a matter of committing to writing them and hopefully not hating what i write. on top of me disconnecting with my writing, i felt really deflated with life in general. short version, i'm just feeling so sick and tired of feeling like nothing is working out for me. it's little things that had piled up, getting my hopes up with personal things, and dealing with up and down emotions.

secondly, the reason why my peaky fics aren't visible is because i have made them private. a large reason why i was starting to disconnect from writing was because every time i looked through my notifications, 99% of them were people mass liking. it made me question what the point was in me stressing over these fics, trying to perfect them if that's how they were going to be treated (if so many think writers should write for themselves, then why not just keep them to myself, which made me feel really sad that i was having that kind of thought). that then led me to self-doubt and i didn't want that to spiral further and end up hating my writing to the point where i stopped writing altogether. so, i made the decision to cut out seeing those mass likes for the sake of my sanity and love for writing (a.k.a overthinking brain making issues more intense and stressful than they need to be). if i wasn't constantly seeing like after like after like after like, i could focus solely on finding that spark again for writing. i know it might seem like a drastic or silly thing to do. i know most won't understand unless you have gone through that as a writer or content creator. it's very difficult to communicate just how mass liking can affect a content creator if you aren't one. it's a struggle writers go through constantly and it sucks. so many writers have shared how powerful feedback, interest, and excitement can be and it feels pointless because it ends up being the same tiresome cycle. there is only so much excitement a writer can harass for their own fics before they need others to do the same. this quote by ernest hemmingway describes it perfectly: "writing, at its best, is a lonely life". writers spend so much time alone with their fics, that sharing them makes us not feel so alone. and i don't think asking for a better balance between likes/reblogs/comments is an unreasonable request (also, i understand tumblr's algorithm sucks and it's hard to get most content to a wider audience. especially if so many are posting and only the popular ones end up on top of the tags. that is why reblogging is so important).

i don't know when i'm going to make the peaky fics public again. i don't think right now i'm 100% in a place where i can do that and not go back into that rabbit hole of self-doubt, frustration, over-thinking, etc. i might do so once i have finished a fic. i might even post later more about the shelby family chaos series, share a little bit of the upcoming fics. i hope nobody is too angry at me for privatising the fics. you will be able to read them again, just please be patient with me. especially since there are a handful of fics that you guys will be getting, so i hope that sorta makes up for not being able to read my older peaky fics right now...

also, in regard to my tommy "sweetheart" series. i made the decision after reading through it to delete all chapters but the first one. i know that may disappoint some people, but i have tried to find something that i like within it and i just haven't been able to. i really love the first part, but the rest i hated. and i know some may think that's unfair, especially if other people did love it, but i wasn't happy with it and i don't think the quality of the other parts matched the quality of the first part. maybe, way way down the road, i will write something new for it. but for now, it's going to stay a one-shot like it originally was meant to be.

i'm sending lots of love to anybody who may be struggling right now, or may not feel good enough either when it comes to writing, personal issues, etc. you are good enough! please, take care of yourself, it is not selfish to do so. life is heavy at times, find some joy and hold on to it. breathe and take it one day at a time. if you ever feel overwhelmed, talk to someone, blast your favourite tunes, go outside, binge-watch your favourite show. just do things that make you feel happy and peaceful. ♡

#personal #writing #peaky blinders

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rowritesstuff · 1 year

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okay! i have a request! dad!kaz x mom!reader where maybe their kid gets kidnapped and the reader is distressed and kaz is just beyond angry and rips the whole city apart, in search for their kid. and when they find them its just teary family comfort??

if you dont feel it, dont worry about it!<3

Blood Be Damned (Kaz Brekker x Female Reader)

A/N: The quality of this just kinda goes 📈📉📈📉📈📉 I hope you don't mind that I kinda messed with the dad!Kaz idea (nothing bad, I promise!). If you don't like it, I swear I will write a new version of this. 😂 Also, in my head this takes place post-CK, so Kaz and the reader are probably roughly 18. I also hope y'all like the name I picked for the kid. Also, I need to go to bed, so I didn't do a final proof read. Deal with it. 😘

Ro's Masterpost

WORD COUNT: 2k

WARNINGS: Teen parenting, possibly OOC Kaz (but it's fucking adorable), missing child and kidnapping, mentions of torture, blood, mentions of death, mild violence, slitting the throats of stuffed animals?

GIF found on @naslostcontrol

Kaz had been busy lately, so he was behind on his work. Very behind on his work. Because you were nice (and because you would do practically anything for the man), you decided to help him get it done, meaning it would be a late night.

It was currently just about nine bells in the evening. You were sitting on the bed you and Kaz shared most nights while Kaz was putting Alyx, your daughter, to bed.

Or, at least he was supposed to be.

You were interrupted by the door opening and giggles disrupting the silence. The source of the laughing was Kaz and Alyx, who was receiving a piggyback ride from Kaz.

"She's supposed to be in bed!" Although you were slightly mad; Alyx should have been in bed by now, you couldn't help the loving smile that took over your face.

You never expected Kaz to get along with your daughter so well. Even before you and Kaz were together, he gave Alyx nothing but kindness and care. Alyx had adored Kaz since they met when she was just a few months old. When your relationship with Kaz grew, he swiftly stepped into the role of Alyx's father figure.

Kaz turned his back to face you and let Alyx fall onto the bed in front of you. The small girl erupted into more giggles. "Someone wanted to say good night to the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Hey!" Alyx exclaimed.

Kaz kissed Alyx's forehead. "Sorry. The second most beautiful girl in the world. Right after Alyx."

You pulled Alyx into your arms, cradling her. "Although I am very happy that you wanted to say good night, you need to be asleep." Your gaze went back to Kaz. "I swear to the Saints, if she's grumpy tomorrow, you'll be taking care of her."

Kaz rolled his eyes; he would gladly take care of your daughter any day, no matter what mood she was in. He scooped Alyx back up and placed a kiss on the top of your head. "I'll put her to bed now."

"Thank you."

As Kaz moved to leave the room, Alyx shouted out "good night!" to you.

"Good night, darling!" The door closed behind the two people you loved most in the world.

Shortly after they left and you continued working, Kaz came back and settled down at his desk. He removed his leather gloves, which despite making huge progress on overcoming his touch aversion, he still often wore around Alyx. Alyx was a very touchy, somewhat clingy child. Sometimes overwhelmingly so. Kaz refused to ask her to be more careful with him, or even let you ask her, so he wore the gloves.

The two of you worked in comfortable silence, occasionally asking for the other's help every once in a while until the early morning hours. As more and more time passed, you felt the exhaustion hit you harder each hour. The words on the page blended together, though you could barely focus on understanding the combinations of letters. Your eyes grew heavy as you tried to work through the tiredness.

You must have fallen asleep at some point because you woke up to Kaz shaking you and frantically saying something about Alyx. You couldn't comprehend the words coming out of his mouth.

"Slow down," you said once you were mostly lucid. "What's going on?"

"Alyx is missing."

You sighed. "She's probably just wandering around in the kitchen or something."

Kaz put a stuffed lion toy in your lap. "This was in her bed."

You picked the toy up and inspected it. As your fingers ran around the plush fabric, your breathing shook. Alyx had a stuffed crow, which she loved to death, but she never had a stuffed lion.

You started to take some deeper inhales, attempting to get into a mindspace to think rationally.

Alyx wasn't in her bed.

There was a stuffed lion toy in her place.

You had no idea where she was or when she was taken.

That's all you knew.

Kaz took the toy from your hands and tossed it on the floor to deal with later. He took your hands in his gloved ones, running his thumbs over your knuckles. You knew he was trying to calm you or ease your mind with gentleness, but it wasn't working.

He pulled you into him, resting your head on his chest. He lowered his mouth to your ear and whispered, "I will find whoever did this, and I will make them regret it."

Kaz limped into the bedroom late the next day. After carefully leaning his cane against the wall, he took his coat off and hung it up. His gaze navigated to the bed, where, thankfully, you were sleeping.

You hadn't slept the night before; you were worrying and trying to find Alyx. Before he had left earlier, he asked you to get some sleep, though at the time, you didn't seem happy at the request.

Kaz made his way to the bathroom, quickly finding the washbasin. He removed his gloves, as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Spots of dried blood decorated his right cheek. He set his gloves aside on the counter, more blood from the gloves smearing on the surface.

Hours and hours of interrogating Dime Lions and torturing Dime Lions and none of them gave any information. They all claimed ignorance. He'd sent Inej on multiple sweeps of Dime Lion territory and nothing.

Alyx was nowhere.

Kaz gripped the edge of the counter, his hands wet from washing the blood from his face. He stared into the water in the washbasin.

She had to be somewhere. Someone had to know something. He didn't care how many people got hurt in the process, he would find Alyx for you. For him.

He knew that Alyx saw him as a father figure and he knew that he cared for the girl, but her being gone made him realize the true paternal love he felt for her. Alyx had a presence that brightened up every room she stumbled into. Kaz missed her smile, her hugs, her laughter, her tears, her curiosity, her light that hadn't been killed by Ketterdam yet.

She was his daughter, blood be damned.

And he was going to find her and bring her home.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks before he went back into the bedroom and changed into clean clothes. From behind him, he heard blankets shifting around. He turned, and there you were. Eyes open, hair tangled; you still looked half asleep. You looked up at him.

He shook his head. Your eyes closed as your hand rubbed your face. "I've sent Inej on another sweep, this time of all of Ketterdam." He sat on the bed as he buttoned up his white shirt. You moved closer to him. "Knowing her, she'll find or intercept something and we'll find Alyx and bring her home to you-"

"Kaz, stop."

He turned his upper body to face you, confusion etched on his features. He removed his hands from the undone top button of his shirt and he placed one on your blanket-covered side. He silently waited for you to continue.

"Please stop sugar-coating this and giving me false hope."

"It's not false hope. Inej may actually find something."

"Kaz, it's been well over a day-"

"Don't you dare tell me what I think you're about to."

You sat up and took his face in your hands, eyes flooding with tears. His hand stayed on your side. "It kills me to even think about it, but we need to be realistic. We're in Ketterdam, for Saints sake. This place isn't known for rainbows and sunshine." Your voice cracked and wavered as you spoke.

Kaz remained silent as tears trickled down both your cheeks and his cheeks.

"Y/N, I have no idea where she is." His other hand went to her other side. "We don't deserve this. Alyx doesn't deserve this."

You pulled him into you as sobs racked the both of you.

You watched Kaz as he slept next to you. You were sitting up in your bed as Kaz's head lay on the pillow next to your lap. Despite his roughed up hair and messy appearance, you admired his peaceful beauty. Your fingers ran through his dark hair, calming you.

He had fallen asleep in your arms, which had only proved to you how deprived he was of sleep. You had to briefly wake him to move into this position, which was much more comfortable for the both of you.

Five quick taps at your window made you zone back into the world outside of Kaz. You removed your hands from his hair and you quickly got out of bed, finding Inej crouching outside the bedroom window. You opened it, letting her in.

Inej held out an opened letter to you. "What is it?" you asked as you took the letter out of the envelope.

"I intercepted it before it got to the recipient. It's a communication from within the Razorgulls."

You skimmed the letter, finding mentions of a toddler girl and Kaz, though he was addressed as "Dirtyhands". The toddler girl must be Alyx, who the letter said was "Dirtyhands' daughter". Whoever sent the letter had Alyx.

"The Razorgulls took her. But they left a stuffed lion."

"Most likely to throw us off their trail and onto the Dime Lions'. And it worked."

"Do you know where this came from?"

Inej nodded. "I wrote the address." She handed you a slip of paper.

"Thank you so much," you whispered before kissing her cheek and pulling her into a hug. "I owe you everything."

"Just focus on getting your daughter back." Eventually, Inej broke the hug and left the room through the window. You ran to the bed and woke Kaz.

He woke up, slightly delirious, but once you told him that you knew Alyx's location, he snapped into full attention.

It was a simple two-person job, with you and Kaz being the two people. When Inej scoped out Alyx's location, she found there was only ever two people guarding the building, which you could very easily take out. The Razorgulls were careless.

You and Kaz studied the building from behind the side of a wall. In front, you saw the two guards Inej had told you about. They would be very easy to take care of. The guards paced around the front of the building, chatting with each other.

Kaz turned to you. "You take the right guard, I'll take the left. Once we get in, I'll focus on finding Alyx while you deliver our message. I'll find you once I have her." He took your hand in his gloved one.

Your other hand played with the strap of the satchel that crossed your body as you nodded. "Let's go."

You and Kaz snuck around in opposite directions, making your way for a sneak attack on the guards. On the way, you picked up a decent-sized rock. You hid behind the wall of the building, watching Kaz on the other side. At his nod, you ran toward the guard on the right.

You brought the rock down on the guard's head, knocking him out fairly quickly. When you looked back up, Kaz had knocked out his guard. The both of you bolted to the front door, swiftly opening it and running inside. You ran up the staircase as Kaz searched the first floor for Alyx.

You eventually found what appeared to be the office room in the building. You stopped at the wooden desk and opened your satchel. You lined up the five stuffed gull toys on the desk. After taking your knife out of your pocket, you carefully made a slice on the throats of each toy bird. Satisfied with your work, you placed the knife back in your pocket.

Not long after you finished, you heard quick footsteps behind you. You turned, and there she was. Alyx ran to you and you scooped her up in your arms, holding her tight as your eyes slipped close.

The tears falling down your face didn't matter. The world didn't matter. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

The sound of a cane clicking against the wooden floor made your eyes open again. Kaz stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching you hold Alyx. After making your way to him, you kissed his cheek.

"I love you," you whispered. "I love you both so much."

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #rowritesstuff #rosrequests

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jacksgreysays · 5 months

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Fake Fic Title: Seven, For a Secret--Never to be Told.

— Oh shoot I forgot fake fic titles included character and themes. I was going to say Shisui for our favorite Crow adjacent character but honestly any Crow adjacent character for the counting corvids title, and theme chromatic aberration; itsv style.

SHISUI!!!! <3<3<3<3 Also, hello damnsmartblueboxes! Also, also, sorry for the late response, work truly broke me these past few days

Okay, so if we’re doing Into The Spider-verse, but Crow Edition, possible Crows either canon or fanon or AU: Shisui, Amano, Sai, Shikako (because of course there’s an AU out there for this) … oof, who are the other three?

Uzume in an AU in which neither Shisui nor Amano are around to be ANBU Crow T_T

Aoba, maybe?

Which then could do a similar Anko version in an AU in which Aoba isn’t around to be ANBU Crow—although maybe that’s too repetitive of the Uzume one. Maybe it’s just that, in a world where Konoha trusts her (maybe because she sleuths around and is integral in ripping Danzo out of his hole in the ground, thereby saving the Uchiha clan who now have way more political clout, or at the very least, are back to the clout that they had before?) Anko becomes an ANBU and she gets Crow and Aoba—because I will give up ANBU training buddies only when I’m dead—chooses to be ANBU Snake even though everyone is leery of that mask (like everyone is leery of the Fox mask)

… Or is that, maybe, too much of an offshoot/spinoff?

I mean, I always headcanon Mikoto has having been ANBU, though not usually Crow.

… BUT ALSO, in the Spider-verse there are multiples of the same person—with, obviously, Peter Parker being the most common Spiderman—so maybe just different versions of Shisui, Amano, and/or Sai and then the lone Shikako is the outlier? OR it could be that these are distinct Crows, but for the most part, each of them know who the other are—at least by reputation if nothing else—and the fact that no one has any idea who Shikako Nara is (or, bleakly, the ROOT brainwashed non-Shikako version of herself) is the Miles Morales-esque outlier part. SHE’S THE ANOMALY IN THE CROW-VERSE! (But instead of angry, its angsty O_O… or existential?)

Okay, okay, let’s get these Crows in their respective numbers according to the poem, I’m gonna do some logic puzzle nonsense:

Sorrow, Joy, Girl, Boy, Silver, Gold, Secret Never To Be Told

Obviously Shikako is a Secret Never Told. I feel like Uzume would be either Sorrow or Girl, meaning Amano would be the matching Joy or Boy because I want them to be complementary. Then Aoba, Mikoto, Shisui, Sai… let’s see… if Uzume is not Girl, then we could do Mikoto as Girl in a “young Mikoto becomes ANBU Crow because it’s the only way she can see any action because the Uchiha clan is being weirdly gross and misogynistic and are blocking her from taking any risky missions because they want her to marry Fugaku and have extremely powerful heirs with him” kind of way

And while not EXACTLY matching as nicely as Uzume and Amano, I feel like I could then explore my Aoba headcanon as a partial!Uchiha with Boy. And, boy, do I have a weirdly specific headcanon about partial!Uchiha Aoba stumbling into both the Crow summons (he reverse summoned himself!) and the Crow mask—both very Uchiha flavored inheritances—only after the Uchiha Massacre when he is an adult and 1) wouldn’t use the name, but also 2) wouldn’t be able to rub it in the face of the clan that rejected him and his non-Uchiha parent, especially if he was like… a bastard Uchiha child who was never claimed. ( @loveelemental and I had a discord brainstorming session about an Aoba centric fic in which his partial Uchiha heritage makes for a fascinating post-Jashin Sharingan activation, which is where we came up with a lot of details for this partial!Uchiha theory)

Which then leaves Silver and Gold for Shisui and Sai… which feels pretty good? I’d probably—because I’m biased—make Shisui Gold and Sai Silver because even if they are both (maybe) Uchiha, Shisui just FEELS more sun coded even though his Sharingan is “unbreakable genjutsu”, while Sai is moon coded (and also you can get into his brother Shin, the silver of his hair, the shine of moon on blades, and similes of second place and how even as Hikaku no one really wants him first and foremost the way that his brother Shin did T_T sad boy)

So I guess the fic would be these different ANBU Crows somehow interacting with each other, and honestly the easiest way to do this would be Crow!Shikako does a sort of seal space/pocket dimension/temporary mission team using the ANBU Crow mask as a cornerstone. An “I’ve gathered you all here because we all need to murder our respective Danzos, and together we can all help each other do that. Also, imagine the satisfaction of killing Danzo seven times… or more, if he already has Izanagi”

Another way is a more contemplative/abstract “echoes/ghosts of possible timelines” thing in which, again, the ANBU Crow mask is, like, a liminal space. But wearable. Haunted or cursed? And to make it even more angsty the echoes/ghosts only appear when you’re about to die… which, to be fair, ANBU, probably pretty often?

I guess what my brain is trying to do is more of a multi-versal Sense8 than an Into The Spider-verse thing… hm… I don’t hate it at all… it could be fun to puzzle out some more…

... I also realized, for all that I was very excited about your Shisui mention, I literally mentioned him the least, lolol

Anyway, I hope this makes sense and is interesting to you, damnsmartblueboxes :D

#jacksgreyson #damnsmartblueboxes #ask box advent calendar #ask box fake fic titles #dreaming of sunshine #naruto #fanfiction #brainstorm #seven for a secret never to be told #shikako nara #uzume uchiha #amano hyuuga #mikoto uchiha #aoba yamashiro #shisui uchiha #sai

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basquerville · 6 months

Text

The Circle of Needle & Thread as Radiohead songs

Inspiration has struck! I am obsessed with Candela Chapter 2 and also really like Radiohead so I kinda just had to. Dunno if this is for anyone but it fits so well!

1. The whole circle:

Pyramid Song

I jumped in the river and what did I see? Black-eyed angels swam with me

This one fits on vibes alone but also bc of the river in the last ep and the black-eyed angels could be the creatures if you squint.

The Gloaming

Murderers, you're murderers We are not the same as you When the walls bend with your breathing They will suck you down to the other side To the shadows blue and red.

We are not the same as you? I mean c'mon! The walls bending at the Fourth Pharos, They will suck you down to the other side, blue and red light! It just fits!

Spectre

I'm lost, I'm a ghost Dispossessed, taken host My hunger burns a bullet hole A spectre of my mortal soul

Because of the 'host-thing' and the romance themes, this feels like it leans more towards Marion. But it kinda is too dark for his hopeful personality. We also got lines like "anger is a poison" which feels very fitting for Sean. Sidenote: I still get so angry thinking about how they rejected this song for the Bond-movie wtf?

4 Minute Warning

This is just a nightmare Soon I'm gonna wake up Someone's gonna bring me 'round Running from the bombers

It's PTSD innit?

2. Jean "Jinnah" Basar:

Everything In Its Right Place

Everything in its right place Yesterday, I woke up sucking a lemon

This one is a given! Not much to say except that it speaks to Jean's exact and analytic nature.

House of Cards

I don't want to be your friend I just want to be your lover No matter how it ends No matter how it starts

Jean's balancing of Candela and EONS being like a house of cards. Her initial denial of her own guilt and relationship to magick. Her feelings towards Marion.

3. Marion Collodi:

Daydreaming

Dreamers, they never learn Beyond the point of no return

Also a given! This was honestly what inspired me to make this post in the first place. Both the vibe and the lyrics fit very well!

Desert Island Disk

Born of a light, born of a light The wind rushing 'round my open heart An open ravine with my spirit wide Totally alive and my spirit light

Marion and his soul, especially the speech in ep 3 where he says he feels whole without one.

4. Sean Finnerty:

2+2=5

It's the devil's way now There is no way out You can scream and you can shout It is too late now Because you have not been paying attention

Gaahh I am unable to be normal about Sean Finnerty! Can I appropriate a song written about George W. Bush to be about Dr. Oliver Nero? You betcha! To me this song speaks to the lies told by authority figures and how they have destroyed Seans life.

Ful Stop

You really messed up everything If you could take it all back again Strike up the tinderbox Why should I be good if your're not?

Why should I be good if you're not! Very much giving Sean in ep 3!

5. Beatrix "Auntie Bea" Monroe

No Surprises

Such a pretty house and such a pretty garden

Bring down the government, they don't speak for us! The rest is self-explanatory.

Give Up the Ghost

Gather up the lost and their souls into your arms Gather up the pitiful into your arms

Auntie Bea and all those she takes under her wing.

6. Nathaniel Trapp

Go to Sleep

Someone's son or someone's daughter Over my dead body This is how I end up sucked in Over my dead body

A song about the dehumanizing effects of war. Trapp's guilt over Marion and the Finnerty boys getting sucked into the military.

Glass Eyes

Hey, it's me, I just got off the train A frightening place, the faces are concrete grey In the oh-so-smug glassy eyed light of day

Get it? Because of his eye? And also anxiety... and trains!

Bonus: The Creatures:

We Suck Young Blood

Are you fracturing? Are you torn at the seams? Would you do anything?

The Candela vibes are strong with this one!

Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief

The ones you light your fires to keep away Is crawling out upon its belly And all you have to do is say yes

Both these songs remind me of the son trying to convince Sean to let him in.

Update! How could I forget:

Suspirium (By Thom Yorke)

When I arrive will you come and find me? Or in a crowd be one of them? Mother wants us back beside her No tomorrows, at peace

An anthem for the son!

#candela obscura #candela obscura: chapter 2 #circle of needle and thread #radiohead #jean basar #marion collodi #sean finnerty #auntie bea #beatrix monroe #nathaniel trapp #critical role #been a long time since i actually posted fandom stuff

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legionaberrations · 5 months

Note

Got any Julie headcanons to spare? From general stuff (like appearance) to more... Specific stuff (like gender identity and voice). I would love to read them mun. Plus your art is wonderful and very cute to look at (I truly mean that)

(I have quite a few Julie headcanons! As the universe of DBD is functionally a multiverse where characters can have small differences between iterations of themselves it's fun to play with those kinds of alternatives and differences.

For my Julie's appearance I draw heavily on greasy 90s aesthetics and in particular Billy Loomis - the Legion is at its core a Scream reference and I personally thought making Frank "the Billy" is a little too obvious, too easy. That's why you'll see I often draw her with short greasy brown hair lol.

Gender-wise the version of her seen on this blog is a trans woman (and Frank in parallel as a trans man). I think a lot of the "horror" in suburban horror comes from feelings of isolation or even persecution in your community and as a trans person who was once an edgy and angry teenager I think it's fun to explore the Legion from that angle.

I'd never really thought about her voice! I think the female Legion voice in the game sounds a lot more like Susie to me than Julie, though. For me I'd really look to female vocalists from the 90s like Courtney Love or Donita Sparks.

I do imagine Julie's parents would be relatively supportive if ignorant (since it Was the 90s) and that acceptance would be a bright spot in an otherwise very distant relationship. Julie hides a lot of herself from her parents, as seen in the comics, trying hard to make them think she's just a normal girl. But smothering those parts of herself is obviously very painful and isolating for her too.

I think Julie projects a strong air of confidence but actually has a lot of negative views of herself. Not in being traditionally self-hating but I think in a truly teenage way she thinks there's something wrong with her, that she's evil by nature. Obviously she's just a troubled kid who needed her emotional needs acknowledged instead of being ignored, but that's something she was never mature enough to realize (and never will be, now! It's very sad).

At the time of being in the Entity I think she strongly believes that without her push and her influence, the other members of Legion probably never would've killed anybody, but that she was always going to end up here. It's kind of a moot point because she also realizes they were all too enmeshed and were never going to split up and she was always going to corrupt them (and I think this is an anxiety she shares with Frank, who probably sees himself as a violent rot that tainted all his friends).

Other smaller headcanons: I like to imagine that Julie has an older brother, but there's a large gap between them so he was already out of the house by the time she was in elementary school. He's a successful and well-adjusted man which just makes her feel more fucked by comparison.

Her family isn't rich or anything but is relatively well-off. She has a car (in some canons?) and unlike Joey didn't need to work to buy it for herself. She gets a reasonable allowance and is kinda the "friend who rents movies" and "the friend who buys dinner" when other people don't have the money to do it.

She likes gothic metal, favoring bands like Tiamat, Type O Negative, Lacuna Coil, etc.

Thank you for the compliment!! I appreciate that you like the blog. I should probably post more haha but I've been burnt out of late. Asks like this are very encouraging!)

#ooc

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