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#mother witch advice
crazycatsiren · 7 months
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Signs you are a witch:
1. You have decided that you are a witch.
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lostinvasileios · 2 months
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Offerings.
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A lot of people, especially beginner witches, tend to feel frightened over offerings.
But, you do know that you don't need to buy them fancy things, right?
Sure, if that's how you show your love to your deity, by all means, go ahead and spoil them if you can.
However, for the people that cannot afford top-tier offerings, I want you to hear me when I say:
Simply your existence, your love for them, your desires to honor them, to be around them, to spend time with them, even just thinking about them, is an offering.
You don't need every tool out there to honor a deity. Sure they can make it easier, but you don't need them. If anything, going without these tools for a while until you can gain them can heighten your strengths and make the tools easier to use, in my opinion.
Just trust your heart. Your intuition. Trust yourself. What feels right and not right to give to your deity, based off of what you have? Do you have wildflowers in your area? You can pick those and give them your deity. Or say they reminded you of that deity.
You can whisper "I love you" or some words of praise to them, or even a whispered conversation. They hear you, even if you think they're deaf when it comes to you.
You can bake them something, you don't need to toss it afterward, you don't need to stress about wasting it. You can eat in honor of them. Or share the meal with them as you eat.
You can give them almost anything, as long as it's genuine, as long as you're happy and are not disrespecting them. (Ex: miasma)
Or, you could simply blow a kiss to your deities.
They're glad you're thinking of them.
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raeraisesroads · 1 year
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I wonder if experienced witches who post a great deal of educational / informative content on witchcraft…
truly e n j o y slowly becoming a person that so many beginner witches flock to with questions like “how do I become a witch?” “How do I start doing this specific thing in witchcraft?” “Why is this witchcraft thing like this?” etc.
I honestly expect that there are pros & cons, tho I’m curious bout the point of view more experienced / teacher / “mother” witches have on this topic.
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amothersmagik · 1 year
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Merry Meet!
So, I am climbing up on my soapbox today. I see it asked all the time: "where do I start?"
And every answer seems the same: Research!
Great! But what does that mean? How and where do I research?? ... Starting out in The Craft is both easy and extremely challenging. Prior to the internet, research meant knowing or hoping to randomly meet other Practioners who could guide you. Or, if you were brave, checking a local library. At that point, starting was hard because getting access to information was hard.
Now we have the internet. And the problem exists in reverse. There is now SO much info available that it can be overwhelming at times. It certainly was for my nerodivergent brain. So I have typed up a "brief" summary of my process so that mayhap it will help others::
Research research research! There is so much out there and it can be so overwhelming. How i personally suggest you start? First, accept that you dont need fancy tools and ingredients to be a successful Witch You are enough as you are.
From a research aspect:
1. Look up the major types of spell work. (Candle, Kitchen, Jar, Offering, Sigils, Simmer Pots, Intention Spells, Oils, Sachets, Sprays, etc). This will give you an idea just how broad actual Craft and spellwork can be. Also, it will strike some examples of what to research and give you an idea what you will be most interested in. For example, I primarily love jar spells, sigils, and simmer pots.
2. Make a list of a couple types of spells or works that interest you. Like healing, self love, cord cuttings, etc. This will give you a list to work of to then build your research plan/database.
PLEASE NOTE, I PERSONALLY RECCOMEND THAT YOU DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY OF THESE SPELLS YET. I AM SUGGESTING YOU MAP THIS ALL OUT SO YOU HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE BREADTH OF THE CRAFT. It will also help you decide what kind of Crafter you will likely be. Personally, I am eclectic, and grey with very white leanings. I am not actually Wiccan, though the Wiccan aspect plays a huge role in my Craft.
Huge massive tip in looking stuff up? Using google or your fav search engine, type "metaphysical properties of____" or "magickal/magical correspondences of____" or simply "_____ Correspondences" and you can either read the articles and links or simply look through the images section. Though not everything will have extensive info available.
3. Pick a random spell. Anything. Now RESEARCH what doing that spell would entail. This will give you an idea of what kinds of things to research and where you want to put your emphasis.
For example, I wanted to do an anti anxiety spell. So I researched that. Discovered I have a flair for sigils. Then quickly realized I am an AVID Jar spell kinda gal 😅😁 So I then went searching for jar spells for  anti anxiety to see what would be required. Then realized how many different ways there are to do one. Which lead me to research crystals and herbs to find what ingredients to use for what. Which lead to me making my own comprehensive hard physical copy (alphabetical, might I add) of all the herbs and plants I could find and their many uses. Did the same with crystals. Then candles and their color meanings. Which lead to color magick research.
(..... It has now been 3 years since I went looking for that anti anxiety spell and I haven't performed it yet. I HAVE found so much peace within myself as I have settled into my Craft by learning. Because remember, witchcraft is NOT always JUST about performing spells. Anyway... back on topic)
I quickly realized how much info there was out there to learn and how to go about it.
Id also research the sabbats and all they entail.
Research deities for future knowledge. Though I suggest waiting on actual deity work until you are further down your path  but that is a personal preference.
Research cleansing types and methods.
At the end of the day, your path and your Craft is your own. Follow your intuition and instincts. Follow your heart and soul. And do as much as you can to research something before casting. Google is your friend. Also, i have a list of books. If you want it, just as a place to start, let me know :)
Once you start spell craft, I found it easiest to start with Sigils, once I got the hang of those, I moved on to simmer pots and candle magick (easiest ingredients to get ahold of for me). After getting comfortable with those, I moved on to Offering Spells. Then Jar Spells. I have more or less stopped there in my actual spell progression, as I have found I excel at and greatly enjoy Jar Spells. I have also ventured into oil rollers, sprays, sachets, etc. And I occasionally do rituals, like cord cuttings or ritual baths, but have not overly ventured in those directions. As such, I research as needed for those types of spells.
Shadow work and observing the Sabbats were also a huge learning opportunity for me.
People always say "do your shadow work" and it took me forever to realize they mean working on yourself. Facing your inner demons. Accepting your faults and working to correct those you can. Accepting yourself for who you are and learning to love yourself and be happy with who you are.
Researching the Sabbats and how the many cultures celebrate and honor them gave me another way to research and learn and then work that new knowledge into my craft. People jump over a fire during Beltane. Why? There is a good research topic for you. Yellow flowers, why are they important in the spring? Why are apples associated with fertility. What kinds of activities are engaged in for Samhain? Why?
And along the way of these activities and researching, you will find yourself learning things that can help you elsewhere. Like learning about the color green and its importance at Beltane will later help you in health and fertility spells.
I think I started actually performing spells about 1/4 of my way through all this research. Once I had a good enough basis to understand the materials I was working with and knew my energy and magic enough to feel comfortable and confident in my workings.
I still perform lots of research regularly, but have reached a comfort zone in my Craft where I don't do big things every day, or even every week, but I work my craft in in little ways, sometimes even unconsciously. I have found I am happy, comfortable, confident and at peace with my self and the life I live. And a stable and reliable Craft is a great addition to that peace, if not outright the building blocks for it in my case.
My inbox is open if anyone has questions. Wants to chat. Wants a new witchy friend. Etc. As a Polyamorous, Pansexual, Christian Druidic Mother and Wife who is 420 friendly...... I am an open book with nothing to hide and virtually no judgement left in my brain. I don't care who you are. Do no harm, take no shit and we will be a-okay :)
Merry Part and Blessed Be
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brattygypsyswitch · 1 year
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Just wanted to show off my altar!
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mamaangiwine · 6 months
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A constant thing that I tend to run into irl, whenever I meet a new person who also has an interest in the occult and/or magic, is the immediate assumption that they are more educated or experienced than myself.
It's like- guys, maybe, just maybe, in the era of the internet and information, perhaps we can give people the benefit of the doubt? That they might be educated? At least until they've shown otherwise?
Not every new person you meet is a "baby witch" and, even if they are, not every "baby witch" is looking for help from some random practicioner they just met.
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walkingwiththegods1 · 10 months
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The First Time I Saw To Gaia: The Mother of All of Us
(In May, there are many dates to celebrate Mothers around The World; [The ones than really love and care for the Sons and Daughters, I mean...] so I decided put this post, to celebrate to all the Loving Mothers; Specially to all Pagan/Wiccan/Witches Moms out there, and... To Gaia!)
My first image of Gaia, as represented in Ancient Art; was an sculture where she looks as a young adult with a thick braid around her head, with the rest of her hair down; with a simple tunic till her knees, barefoot and smiling; and in position of running: It was the first time I saw the sculture, but... It felt familiar, to me!
But... I had to wait four years more, to saw to the real Gaia; in person...
...It was weeks after my family moved into a new house, than one night; I have this vision:
I was in the higher part of an incline cliff, than its lower part; ended in a beach and in the sea. I have a white simple ancient greek dress till my kness, and I saw to all The Gods and Goddessess closer to me, than were standing in front of me; and suddenly... They turned their head in direction to the sea, and they divide to two files with enough room to leave than someone could walk between them with easy, and as soon they left that space between them; they started to kneel slowly, and closed their eyes: Athena, opposite in front of Loki; and many did the same. (I apologize, if I don't remember this part; well: It was a very long time ago!) I was wondering, what was the cause of this ''Odd behaviour''; 'cause they did this gesture, with a solemnity and genuine affection for the one than will arrive soon to that place; than looks incredible and unexpected for me: ''WHO, could have earned such Respect; Devotion an Love, than could makes to Gods and Goddessess of so different cultures; to kneel in expectances of their arrival?!'' Was my thought at that moment.
And then... I saw Her!...
I saw from the lower part of the cliff, walking toward me with elegance and in a slow pace... A 25 years old woman with dark red hair and eyebrows; slightly tan skin, dark green eyes, red lips, thick dark eyelashes; medium size body, wearing a tunic of three colors; (brown on top, bright red at the medium of her body; and bright green in her skirt) her hair in a medium thick red braid surrounding the rest of her free down hair, always barefoot, and... Like visible pregnant, like she was about to give birth in a matter of days; or weeks! Her energy was warn and tender, and really strong too; and I realized than everytime she touched the ground with ever step of her bare feet, …Green grass and wild little flowers started to grow in a fast rate, under her feet.
I was so in awe, than I totally forgot to kneel! (...But, she didn't seemed to be offended for this act) She looked at me, and smiled me in the same way a mother smiles to a dear son/daughter; and I returned the gesture, genuinely.
…I felt, like I hasn't felt since I was a little girl: I felt, like I was in Home!
Gaia, appeared to me in moments I didn't think she will appeared; or... When I thoughted ''Why she will appeared, if nobody else seems to care how I really feel about me; or my problems?!...''
When I was alone in my room at night, and have felt evil spirits near of me... Gaia appeared, and they left.
When some relatives and/or people mock me, or disrespect me; and I have felt sad and angry... Gaia appeared, and showed me support with her mere presence.
When I dreamt with an relative than passed away, and I felt things were turning bad in the dream... Gaia appeared, and she calmed my fear with her voice; and protected me till I awaked!
When I felt hopeless, when I hear and/or saw people treating badly to any than is a good person; but than is different... Gaia appeared, and told me than any person than is good at heart; despite their way of dress, how they look; what they own, what they believe, or even; to who they like or love... All are Gaia's Children! AND...
When my ex-friends showed me disrespect, mocked my beliefs; they acussed me falsely, and my whole world, (And Friendship) ended... Gaia appeared in front of my bed, while the other Deities were around my bed, and a few sit next to me; and two were hugging me while I cried... She was there like telling me, than I will never being alone; 'cause she will always watch over me.
Gaia, is a Goddess than is always there when you need Protection; Consolation, Divine Justice, Motherly Love; Someone to gives you their strenght to go on in life, Words of Comfort, and even: a wise advice you didn't knew you was so needy to hear, until she said it.
That's all in this post, and remember: Gaia, is our mother; and she is always at the reach of a heartbeat, like most mothers are! (And, if she doesn't appeared in your room/house soon; after you called her... Take a walk in any natural and beautiful setting, or in an outdoor park: Is more than probable, than you may find a sign of her; or even... You could ended having a brief first encounter with Gaia!)
Than Gaia, (And all The Goddesses that are Mothers) always help us with their Strength and Power; to overcome hard times in life, and to return to the Peace; Light and Happiness... So Be It!
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bolaneno · 8 months
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kraviolis · 10 months
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WHY does no one think camila would be super active in her kids' lives!!!!! that she would just immediately dip from the demon realm and not go back unless necessary!!!!! she's not gonna pull a greg universe and step away from one of the most important parts of her kids' lives just because she's uncomfortable with magic!!!! shes a Noceda!!!!!
she would become good friends with all the adults in luz & vee & hunter's lives. she visits the boiling isles several times a week and hosts big family dinners at her house where she invites all of her kids' friends and parents and teachers. her home is always open to any of her kids' friends or parents, whether they need a shoulder or a friend or a break or a hot meal or even just homework help. she babysits king whenever she can find the time to and he starts calling her "mamila" and no, it doesnt make her choke up every time.
she makes a penstagram account with a cosmic frontier reference for her username to keep in close contact with her new friends and she actually knows how to use it better than hunter does. she's the first person alador goes to when he needs advice about being a parent. she has a permanent offer to stay at the owl house or at alador's home whenever she needs. she meets with gilbert, harvey, perry, steve, and raine for brunch every sunday morning.
she and principal bump meet and he is absolutely honored to meet her and he gives her the opportunity to give extracurricular after school lessons at hexside about the human version of beast-healing. she does a single lesson once a month, but does open up the chance for one or two older kids at a time to shadow her at her vet clinic for a day as a little field trip (viney always gets herself at the top of the list and becomes well known around the clinic) and she is lovingly teased by her co-workers for always picking up "strays".
she is one of the people on scene during the gathering of the guards who had all been murdered by their own creator and left to rot in the dark for decades. she doesn't have the strength in her to be one of the ones collecting the remains of all these men and boys who once had her son's face, but she stands by hunter's side and keeps him from falling to pieces and they help make sure all the golden guards all finally given a chance for peaceful rest.
she helps gus with preparing the curriculum for his classes on the human realm in eda's new school. she is there at all of the emerald entrails' flyer derby matches and wears green face paint to every single one and cheers the loudest. she's the one who takes amity to her meeting with the dean of the university of abominations when alador gets fireflu and is stuck in bed. she is the one who figures out hunter's never had a proper birthday party and quickly remedies that.
she meets the elder clawthornes and absorbs every piece of wisdom they give her as if they were her own grandparents. she learns palisman care from dell clawthorne so she can better take care of stringbean whenever luz leaves her palisman with her mom. she gets roped into learning how to carve wood by hunter during the start of his apprenticeship under dell & the bat queen.
her name ends up in the history books of the boiling isles, and not just for being known as the mother of luz the human. she becomes known for being the reason of the sudden boom in witches who focus in beast-healing and the reinvention of the entire industry on the boiling isles. she is known as one of the first people to rediscover and establish contact and fight for the protection of all the basilisks scattered across the boiling isles, who were previously thought to be extinct.
she would NOT just stand by and watch her children come and go between realms with her house serving as the port but not the embassy. she was once that very child, caught between what felt like different worlds, feeling as if she might be forced to choose one or the other because her parents were too uncomfortable with what felt like half of her soul. she would refuse to let luz, vee, or hunter feel as if they have to angle those halves away from her so they dont have to watch her wince at them.
camila noceda would make an effort to make the demon realm a part of herself, too, so that no matter where her kids settled themselves down in the future, they would still always feel at home with her.
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hadesoftheladies · 5 months
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im genuinely fatigued by male heroism in literature. no i do not want a "girl-coded" villain with floppy dark hair, i want an interesting FEMALE CHARACTER GOODDDAAMMNITTTT.
I want to see an eldest daughter fighting for her family's honor. I want to see a girl facing a moral dilemma prematurely, abandoned and decieved by everyone she trusted. I want to see her revolt at the betrayal of her superiors. I want a mother to see what a monster her child has become. becoming a fugitive from her own spawn. I want to see an old woman watch those she loves die because they did not heed her warnings. I want to see old prophetesses outsmart authorities and fight to stop the inevitable. i want a bunch of sisters braving the wild because they are the only hope of a small town. a pathetic heroine who only survives because of luck and charm. young girls with strong limbs because they're used to working in factories and farms, who can run far and leap over fallen trees. who can bat a ball and scale a wall. i want girl gangs, where teenage girls get up to no good until the consequences catch up to them, or not. i want socially awkward queens who lean on the advice of aunty-like advisors, be they witches or muggle. i want to see an older sister be betrayed by the brother she raised and it climaxes in a duel. i want to see the reverse, where the brother she raised becomes her second-in-command, strong and wise because of her and wouldn't betray her for the world. i want genius little girls that are kept in secret towers because of their prophetic dreams. who terrify kings because of their intellect. i want female spies and soldiers who are stupid and devoted. i want an arrogant heroine who gets caught up in a plot bigger than she can handle. a kind girl who inevitably breaks the world and destroys everything. i want her to be destined for doom and glory. I WANT HER TO SELF-DESTRUCT IN THE FACE OF HER OWN POWER. I WANT HER DREAMS AND HOPES FOR THE FUTURE TO INSPIRE A NATION TO CHANGE, ONLY FOR HER TO LEARN THE HARD TRUTH OF THE COST OF TRANSFORMATION. I WANT HER TO WRESTLE WITH THE ISOLATION THAT COMES FROM GREATNESS. TO DESIRE LOVE AND BE TOO SHREWD TO FALL FOR IT.
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BOY ANGST YOU WILL NEVER BE AS DEEP, COMPLEX OR NUANCED AS A GIRL YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HORRORS YOU'RE JUST A PARODY OF WOMEN'S LIVES GET OUT
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prefer-to-be-vilified · 10 months
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The Addams curse is just the far majority of the family being demi-sexual and insane.
It’s why that although they are a family of powerful witches no one has managed to break the curse. Because no curse was actually cast.
But the legend and subsequent ‘proof’ of its existence has lived on so they all believe it’s true. Most of these ace-spec bitches genuinely believing they’re immune until they fall in love and then they’re like “aha! the curse has struck again!”
Morticia figured this out not long after meeting Gomez’s extended family, but shit stirrer that her younger self was decided to keep that information to herself and played along for her own amusement.
Which has paid off ten fold as she now gets to watch her fiercely independent walking advertisement for the Addams curse of a daughter drive herself mad trying to break the curse after noticing that she’d developed *gasp* feelings for an overtly sensitive, brightly coloured werewolf girl with the personality of a rainbow.
“I’m not in love with Enid. The very idea is ridiculous. I just like looking at her and smelling her and holding her hand and sometimes I fantasise about dying in her warm embrace… But those are just symptoms of the curse, there is no other explanation. I should have taken the warnings more seriously.” - W.A.
Which then leads to six months worth of frequent conversation similar to the following that Morticia will never let go of,
Wednesday: Mother it pains me to say this but I need your help. The curse has me in it grasp and it’s killing me. I cannot focus on breaking the hold it has on me and our family because all I can think about is her… and the way my name sounds upon her sweet lips as if she’s calling me to my own doom.
Morticia, flipping through gothic wedding magazines and trying to think of ways to include pink without making half their family nauseous: Why don’t you take Enid out on a friendly excursion darling. Perhaps if you’re around her for an extended period of time the yearning will wain and you’ll be able to focus on your task more efficiently.
Wednesday: Good idea. I’ll take her for a walk through the cemetery.
Morticia: There are roses in the conservatory I’ve yet to chop the heads off you can bring to her. And don’t forget to tell her she looks pretty or your father will be very disappointed in you.
Wednesday: Obviously. I’m not an animal.
Morticia: And if you feel the need to kiss her I wouldn’t fight it. Who knows what will happen if you do.
Wednesday: Nothing good, I presume. It must be done. Thank you, mother. You’re advice has been satisfactory.
Morticia: Of course, darling. Have an miserable date with your beloved.
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crazycatsiren · 8 months
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Normalize and get used to "it doesn't/won't work for me but I'm glad it works for you and you can have fun with it".
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lostinvasileios · 2 months
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Hey, just so you know..
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Your deities think you have a very pretty smile.
Your deities love your laugh.
Your deities hate to see you cry, but they don't mind sitting with you until you feel better.
Your deities think your hobbies are cool.
Your deities think your music taste is really nice.
Your deities see your trauma, and see you trying. They're proud of you.
Your deities love seeing you cope, they love seeing you try to thrive despite what you were put through.
Your deities want to help you, if you'll let them.
Your deities want to hear about your day.
Your deities want you to know you're safe with them.
No, your deities do not hate you.
Quite the opposite, actually.
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polymathart · 11 months
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POST FINALE HEADCANONS (ongoing list)
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Camila and Luz both held Vee’s hands the first time she went through the portal door and returned to the Demon Realm
Vee is every one of the Hexsquad’s wingman. She’s give Hunter, Luz, Amity, and Willow dating advice.
Steve, Lilith, and Hunter joined forces to debelosify/decoven the Isles. They went around tearing down Belos statues and defacing Emperor’s Coven insignia.
Gus and Amity have gotten better at Spanish.
Lilith and Hunter are still rivals in a playful way. They occasionally recall their Head Witch and Golden Guard personas when trying to one up each other.
King found a way to reawaken Jean Luc.
Emira had her own episode with Eda and earned her Bad Girl Coven shirt.
Odalia and Alador got divorced. And Odalia got kicked out of the house.
Tinella Nosa now lives in the Clawthorne tower. She pays rent.
Anne and Luz have kept touch.
Luz and Amity made Good Witch Azura popular and it’s a best seller on the Boiling Isles now.
Per Vee’s request, Masha was the first other human to be told about and granted passage to the Demon Realm.
Vee cried when Luz introduced her to Stringbean.
Jacob went to jail.
Camila has created her own Dominican spin on Apple Blood.
Vee and King became friends the same way Lilith and Hooty did.
Luz found out about Amity’s Grom note.
Principal Bump loved his Hexside memorial.
Gus and Matt kept their promise to the Keeper and helped restored the Illusionist Graveyard.
Luz kept her promise to the Bat Queen.
Eda finally returned the favor (and the whistle) to the Bat Queen.
King and the Collector have repurposed King’s Island into their “treehouse.”
Vee took Masha to Grom. And Vee became Grom Queen.
Luz, Hunter, and Camila accompanied Vee in her search for the other Basilisks.
Vee had a “Katara find finds the man who killed her mother” moment with Warden Wrath.
Everyone finds out Evelyn was a Clawthorne (obviously) and Hunter gets accepted into the Clawthorne family.
Hunter goes to Hexside.
Alador and Edric have a cheesy “I’m proud of you, son” moment. Probably over something silly like pranking Odalia.
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ravens-two · 8 months
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PICK A CARD reading
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How do other people see you?
Pile 1 -> Pile 2
Pile 3 -> Pile 4
Decks used: Dark Wood Tarot & Green Witch Oracle
TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC
Pile 1
Strength & Banana
Main Star sign energy: Leo & Cancer
Hi, Pile 1, Banana is the card of duality and so I think that it may be that people see you in very different ways, like you're not very consensual to the general public. The people you meet can't really decipher you, some perceive you to be incredibly nice, while others find you off-putting. However, with this card and Strength I also feel like people turn to you a lot for advice. People find you to be very wise, and most of all, impartial. They trust that you will see things from every perspective and offer the best advice you can. This also means that some people see you as a devil's advocate, because you insist on giving voice to different points of view.
In general, I think that people perceive you as being very outspoken, you don't shy away from conflict, but you don't go looking for it either. It's just that it naturally finds a way to you and you can't help but stand up for yourself and others. I also feel like other people find you to be a very calming presence, I think that it's mix of it just being your vibe, but also that they know that they can count on you to help solve any problem that might come up.
A bit random, but I think that you are known to make dirty jokes and also your sense of humor is very underrated, kind of deadpan and sometimes others can't tell if you're being serious or not.
Other people see you as being very confident in yourself, even if you don't feel like that. There's a sort of confidence that shines through you. Also, you are known as being very loyal to your friends.
Pile 2
6 of Cups & Lemon
Main Star sign energy: Gemini, Scorpio & Cancer
Pile 2 the first thing I'm getting with your group is that you have big Cancer energy. Being with you feels like coming home. I think that the people closest to you feel almost "mothered" by you, I mean this in the best way possible, they know that they can count on you to make them a nice cup of tea, pull out a blanket and hear out their problems. You have a very safe presence.
Some not so nice energy that is also coming through is that some people think that you're stuck in the past. This sentence is coming through very clearly like this to me, but I think that it will apply differently to each of you. It might be a bit literal, like you refuse to embrace new technologies for example or it could be more like you are frequently reminiscing about the good old days. I think that sometimes you are seen as being a bit sad, like filled with ennui if that makes sense. Despite that, I think that you are someone who remembers. You always know your friends birthdays and you remember the little details about their lives, and they appreciate this so so much.
With the lemon card I think that you are very talkative, but only when you feel comfortable. And the interesting thing is, when you get to the stage where you're really really comfortable you start to hold back less and less and you end up being a bit mean with your words. You're not trying to be mean, but they might sting a bit because you're brutally honest. Also, with lemon being the card of cleansing I think that your friends perceive you as being very good at cleaning. I mean this both in a literal sense (lol) and metaphorically. You're good at closing old chapters and cleaning out the old to bring in the new (with a twist too, because you always make space for the memories). You give me this vibe of it doesn't matter if it was good or bad, it matters that it happened.
Pile 3
Empress & Orange
Main Star sign energy: Virgo & Taurus
Pile 3 people see you as being full of life and energy. You are the life to her party, even if there isn't a party, you know how to cheer and pump up the people around you. I also think that people find you very charming and they love to hear you talk. In fact, I think that others love being around you and being around your energy, because it's just so big. Do you know that poem about the orange? In this metaphor you are the orange.
There's also this really interesting vibe that you are very sensual, it could be like sensual as in sexy, but like sensual as in using your senses. You love eating, you love listening to music, you love pretty things. I think that your friends and acquaintances even always ask you about restaurant recommendations and stuff like that. Also, other people love your style and your aesthetic. In fact, they really admire how cohesive you look.
Others also see you as someone who is incredibly creative and that is always filled with ideas. Honestly I think that most of you are either studying arts/design/etc or you work in those areas. You are known for your work. There's also this thing that if one of your friends has a problem they will come to you if they need an out of pocket solution. Like, you always have one. Your friends love your sense of humor, it's always so random and unpredictable. And I honestly think that you might be very popular on social media.
Pile 4
7 of Swords & Pea
Main Star signs energy: Pisces & Aquarius
Hey pile 4, you are the embodiment of chaotic energy. I don't think that anyone can pin you down, and when someone thinks that they have you figured out you immediately prove them wrong. This is big Aquarius energy honestly, not with the chaos, but with the fact that you see things in such a different manner that no one can predict what you are going to do or say next. I also think that you're the type of person to lie for fun (nothing serious of course, but just making up a whole different life to some stranger you'll never see again).
You are filled with ideas and people find you to be a good communicator. In particular I think that you're good with speaking and writing. There's also this vibe that your friends never know when to expect an answer to their texts, it could be immediately or three weeks later.
Your mind is very very busy, always buzzing with new ideas and scenarios and I think that sort of comes across to other people who think you are a bit scatterbrained. Also, people think that you are very smart. I am also getting this vibe that you have a sharp tongue, especially when it comes to social commentary. Sometimes you'll make a sarcastic comment about something around you, but not everyone will get it and those people find you a bit weird. You may get lost while telling a story, going on multiple tangents to explain your train of thought. And I also think that you get distracted easily. Some people find that a bit annoying, but your friends find it endearing.
There's this type of trickster energy here with the 7 of Swords so it might be that you are known for pulling pranks on your friends. Your presence is very fun, but sometimes a bit unsettling because again, no one knows what you're going to do next.
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applinsandoranges · 2 months
Note
I don't know if you still accept requests but I had this idea and thought I'd just write to you:
Healer Sebastian: Mc and Sebastian broke up but almost 10 months later she comes to his ward, where he does further education or something, and has a child, his child.
💗🐍
Hi, Anon!!
I hope you're doing well, and thank you for the request!
This one has been sitting in my WIPs too long, and I'm obsessed with dad!seb and simply wanted to finish it, because I love the surprise baby trope.
BIT ANGSTY and MC is an unhinged gremlin as per usual.
ALSO AS PER USUAL, happy ending.
Trigger Warning: Pregnancy, birth, break-up, arguing, secret pregnancy, amputation...
Roughly ~6500 words
An Astute Observation
Sebastian knew about children, of course. He'd been healing them for years - he'd even delivered a handful in more urgent cases, despite rarely assisting in the obstetrician ward since he'd completed his training.
That didn't mean, however, that he particularly liked the little beasts. Nor did it mean he wanted anything to do with teaching an educational class for new parents. A room filled with worried witches and screaming infants was the very last place he wanted to be, in fact.
Yet, that was precisely where the Healer found himself bright and early on a Wednesday morning, fake smile plastered on his face that he hoped didn't look too much like a grimace as he stared out over the room of women and their husbands, all frazzled and concerned while they clutched their warmly bundled, wrinkly babies to themselves and waited for him to tell him how to rear the little things.
Merlin, he did not like children, particularly not fresh ones.
Slugs, rather.
He wasn't even a father himself - what the hell was he supposed to know about caring for the damn things? He could barely manage his cat. Well, her cat - the one he'd spitefully demanded she leave with him when they split up nearly a year ago.
She'd fought him tooth and nail for the feline, almost as hard as she'd fought to keep him.
Still, he got his way as always, insisting she was away on Auror duty far too often to give the poor cat the attention it needed. Claiming victory in that final argument had satisfied him in the moment - one final, spiteful dagger to drive into her on her way out the door.
Now, however, he was a lonely Healer with a cat at home that hated him and yowled incessantly for its mistress, and at work with a classroom full of hopeful, new mothers looking at him like he might have some magical advice on how to raise the next Minister of Magic.
Damn Healer Larson for calling in sick today. This was his class. He liked children. Andrew was far more suited to coddling worried parents and cooing over their progeny, and it was why the man worked solely in the pediatric ward. Sebastian, better suited to vastly more interesting wards such as trauma and curse injuries, was ill-equipped to play substitute for Larson's little parenting lesson.
He damned himself for agreeing to it.
A moment of weak kindness Sebastian would be sure to demand proper recompense for when his ailing colleague returned - perhaps he'd convince the other man to treat him to a night at the pub?
An expensive night at the pub.
Gods knew he'd need it after this nightmare.
Internally shaking his head to clear it, Sebastian kept up that false smile and looked out over the room. Shuffling a stack of papers in front of him with hastily scribbled notes, he cleared his throat and tried to force himself to at least look like he was nothing short of ecstatic to be there.
"Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and future witches, wizards, and squibs."
The joke didn't land.
He cursed to himself as the parents flinched, holding their babies and each other closer at the thought they might raise squibs of all things.
For fuck's sake, read the room, Sallow.
She would have laughed, though.
She'd have mocked the pearl-clutching parents balking at his joke and likely said something even more crass just to take the attention off of him.
He could almost hear her voice, boisterous and familiar, and it brought a warm sensation to his chest just to recall the sound.
"Well, before we begin, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Healer Sallow, and I'll be filling in today for - "
He stopped.
That was her voice, and she was louder than ever, shamelessly swearing in the hallway just outside the room.
Sebastian could almost picture the scene beyond his door, nurses and Healers jumping out of the way from the sounds of their yelps and mutters and the crashing of one very frazzled Auror on a rampage through the Hospital.
The entire room turned to face the closed door, outside of which they could hear the sounds of destruction and chaos growing louder, and Sebastian was filled with equal parts fascination and dread.
Please don't enter, please don't enter, please don't-
Like a hurricane, she did indeed enter, the door banging against the wall and nearly off its hinges in her haste and ill-contained brute strength.
"I'm so sorry, Andrew. It took forever to convince her to eat and -"
Paling instantly at the sight of the entire room staring at her for the interruption, she looked near ready to faint as she caught sight of not their old schoolmate leading the class, but her former betrothed standing stock-still just a few yards away, looking as shocked as she was.
She'd always been a slight creature - deceptively slender and elegant in appearance despite the monstrously undainty witch bubbling just beneath that demure surface.
Now, however, her appearance was every part the new mother - almost a caricature of one the way her already wild hair remained untamed like it hadn't seen a brush since yesterday.
Tired eyes screamed of fatigue, and she'd swapped out her immaculate Auror uniform for a rather modest house dress. A bit more weight on her than last he'd seen her ten months ago, but there was an energetic glow about her that hadn't been there before.
Something else that hadn't been there before was the pale pink papoose slung over her shoulder, and the baby girl somehow slumbering peacefully inside of it despite her mother's raucous entrance.
Of course, any child raised by the whirlwind of a witch would need to be able to sleep soundlessly through a literal earthquake - something Sebastian had learned when they'd lived together. Demure and graceful were two words that did not describe the true nature of the love of his life, but her endless noise was something he missed dearly.
But there was no way the woman standing there was a mother. She had to be bringing in someone else's child. Perhaps she was babysitting? He glanced at the roster wordlessly.
Sure as hell, her name was not on the list, yet that did little to quell the uneasy nausea forming rapidly in the pit of Sebastian's stomach.
Was this some kind of joke?
"You're not on my attendance roster. Are you in the right place?" Sebastian asked, a bit more curtly than intended.
He couldn't help it - her sudden appearance brought with it a flurry of emotions ranging from deep, long-buried affection all the way to resurfacing annoyance and a desire to chew her out again for everything they'd once fought over. He wanted to needle her and antagonize her for anything at all.
Instead, he settled on portraying cold detachment. Sebastian wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of knowing she'd rattled him.
Still, he should have known she wouldn't take his attitude lying on her back.
She never did.
"And you aren't Andrew Larson. Where is my Healer? I arrived expecting a professional who is qualified to teach this class, and he personally invited me." She quipped briskly, pulling a letter from her pocket without missing a beat before fearlessly approaching Sebastian at the front of the room.
To hell with the baffled spectators and the throngs of ruffled staff still peering in from the hallway, she marched right up to him and thrust the parchment into his chest with a force that nearly knocked the wind from his lungs - if he'd been able to breathe in the first place, that is, the way he held his breath at her close proximity, trying not to inhale her perfume and lose his senses entirely.
A small part of him had the presence of mind to notice that her own hands shook slightly, and he was relieved that even though the Auror might be better at covering her emotions, she wasn't immune to their unexpected reunion.
She still felt something for him, at least - whatever that something was, he didn't even dare to hazard a guess.
Snatching the letter from her, Sebastian's eyes scanned Andrew Larson's familiar, elegant scrawl.
The other Healer had indeed invited her. Mentions of congratulations on becoming a new mother and comforting words assuring her that single witches raise children just fine all the time stared back at Sebastian, and he felt numb with confusion.
His eyes flickered over to the baby strapped to his former lover, and the little girl bore an uncanny resemblance to her mother, even in sleep.
The same shock of hair sprouting in a fluffy tuft, the expression on her sleeping, cherubic features, and undeniable likeness to the witch holding her.
Something else screamed familiarity to Sebastian, but before he had time to place the recognition, he was jolted back into the shitty, nightmarish reality that was, unfortunately, his ex offering him an impatient stare.
Fuck, those eyes - even annoyed, they were gorgeous.
So was she.
"Are you finished accusing me of crashing your lesson then, Healer Sallow?" She barked out harshly, and Sebastian was reminded that to be on the receiving end of her ire was less than ideal.
The whole damn situation was as far from ideal as it could be, though, and his own animosity rose to challenge her.
"Then what are you still doing standing here when you should be seated, miss?"
The unfamiliar title was a dig. He'd read the letter, seen the lack of a ring on her finger.
So she'd gone and slept with a man and found herself saddled, alone, with his bastard?
Good.
Serves her right.
Nevermind that twinge of concern nagging at the back of his mind.
At least the time off work would keep her safe. Their most consistent string of fights had been about her always coming home injured, and her most recent brush with death had been the catalyst for ending their relationship.
Stubborn as an ox and lacking a shred of sense, she'd vehemently insisted, while he had been tearfully pleading with her as he reattached her bloody arm, that she didn't need to take time off or consider desk work.
When Sebastian gave her the ultimatum of quitting the Aurors outright or quitting the relationship entirely, she'd fought bitterly, but in the end, wound up leaving him.
He'd rather she off and die out of his sight rather than be left a young widower, he reasoned, despite the miserable, aching void she'd left in her wake after that door slammed shut the final time.
Now, though - now she was on maternity leave. No fighting dragons or enduring torture or losing literal limbs in the line of duty. No, she would be forced to live a peaceful, dull existence if only for the sake of keeping that absurd thing she carried alive.
That much was a relief, despite her unexpected motherhood being a bitter shock to his system.
An additional, more petty part of him was also pleased to see her looking so harried. Normally the picture of composure, that untamed mane on her head and her soiled dress felt validating after she'd left him to wallow on his own. That she'd rather bleed out in some frozen hellscape instead of just letting him love her? She'd earned a healthy dose of misery.
Selfish, horrible wretch of a woman that she was, unyielding when it came to anybody else's wishes - Sebastian still felt his delight at her state melt and morph into pity when she bit her tongue and took a seat toward the back in resignation, casting a sheepish looking around at the other women now watching the exchange with mild interest.
It was unlike her to back down, and she certainly didn't let any sense of shame cloud her pride, yet there she sat with an unmistakable blush and apologetic frown on her features, silent and cradling her child closely to her chest.
She needed this class.
Even if that meant swallowing down her massive ego.
Sebastian couldn't help but wonder about her life in the near year since they'd last spoken. A twinge of regret gnawed at him, but he pushed it down and shifted his focus back to the notes Andrew had meticulously written for the class.
It wasn't any of his business anyway. Whatever tragedy had befallen her in their time apart was of her own making, after all.
But some tiny voice, growing louder by the second, drowned out everything else as it screamed of his own grief and jealousy that she should have been his wife by now, with their child in her arms. She should be safe and content in their home, nestled on the couch with their newborn while he doted on them both.
Not alone and scared shitless with either the result of a one night stand or perhaps the child of a fellow Auror who'd died on a mission and left her by herself.
Yet there she was, frazzled and stressed and burdened with the child of some nameless man, learning parenting skills from her former lover in a clinical setting and navigating it all alone while surrounded by happy couples.
Sebastian, so caught up in his muddled thoughts and concerns over her, barely even realized he'd finished the damn class until he said the final word at the end of his notes, and the room grew noisy once more with chattering couples.
Hell, he couldn't even recall a single thing he'd said. Had he just read the notes verbatim? Did these people even learn anything? He wouldn't have been surprised to find out he'd given the whole lecture in gobbledygook if someone told him, with how far removed he was from reality at that moment.
Free now, though, he watched the little families trickle out the door, a few muttering their gratitude yet seemingly wholly unimpressed and a bit confused, he ran a hand through his hair and considered his options.
There really was only one thing to do, however.
Without allowing himself to consider the repercussions of such a choice, his body moved on its own and Sebastian lunged forward to grab hold of the back of her shirt when he saw the only one who even mattered trying to sneak out with the rest of the group.
An indignant yelp left her lips as she spun around to glare daggers at Sebastian, and now her baby started crying.
Sebastian cringed at the shrieking infant and winced out a quiet apology before looking down at the thing in her arms.
Crying babies truly looked less appealing than a wrinkled lump of prune skin to Sebastian, but something about her child warmed him, and he did not recoil as he thought he would.
Rather, he was transfixed. That same comfortable familiarity struck him, and it took little more than a moment to finally figure out what it was.
The air left his lungs as realization struck.
"Well, I'll be damned. She's mine." It was a statement, not a doubt in his mind, when he looked down at her plump cheeks and disgruntled expression.
Instinctively reaching a hand out to touch her and soothe her crying, Sebastian wasn't sure what he felt, but whatever it was vanished into ice cold panic when the baby was pulled backward and into her mother's embrace.
"No. She's mine." She said fiercely, protectively clutching her like a mother dragon.
Sebastian's eyes widened before letting his hand fall back limply to his side.
"What's her name?" He asked weakly, scrambling to ask anything and everything he could in a desperate bid to keep her here.
This was all far too much to take in so suddenly.
He felt unsteady on his feet, but his thoughts were solely focused on the two standing right in front of him.
This was his family.
Sebastian's head snapped back up to her when he realized she had spoken, and he'd missed it.
The blood that had previously drained from Sebastian's face now rushed back to darken his cheeks. "Pardon?"
She rolled her eyes, exasperated, but clearly quite shaken to be alone with him now, her secrets laid bare.
"Eleanor. Her name is Eleanor." She repeated herself slowly, as if painstakingly teaching a toddler to spell.
"Eleanor..." The name rolled off his tongue, snd Sebastian was hit with an unexpected wave of emotion as he said it.
The name they'd discussed once together, should their first be a daughter.
He recalled that conversation vividly - laying in bed together, basking in the afterglow of getting their fill of each other. Her perfect form flushed and scarcely covered by the sheet as his fingers trailed down her bare side, drawing goosebumps and a delighted little shiver from her.
And they'd laughed softly together, teasing and stealing countless kisses while they spoke of the inevitable, impending result of their union after they'd married. How he wanted more than anything to give her a little girl - one that would be her spitting image so he could dote on them both every day.
All her jokes of naming their child Imelda - an honor to be named after her favorite Quidditch player, naturally - eventually turned to more candid sentiment when she suggested with quiet solemnity that they use his mother's middle name.
They had so many lovely memories together - so many more than the heart-wrenching end to it all, which somehow overshadowed sweet nights like that one.
And Sebastian had cried then, when she first spoke the name, the same way he was now without even realizing it.
Until he hiccupped and brought a hand up to swipe furiously at his cheeks, trying to rid them of tears.
Merlin forbid he look even more like his tear-stained daughter, still wailing and fussing in her mother's hold.
For her part, she at least had the grace to appear mortified as she wavered between shushing him and comforting their child.
"Sebastian, really -" She began, voice wavering, but he'd lost all composure and tearfully interrupted her.
"Please, just let me hold her. Please." Barely above a whisper, desperation dripped from his tone.
He hadn't felt this helpless, so at her mercy, ever. But gods, if he didn't want anything more in this entire world than to hold that little girl who so perfectly mirrored the two who created her and who bore his mother's name.
Even in his distress, Sebastian could see how she bristled at his request. Breath catching in her throat, muscles tensing, the way her body language screamed that she would rather bolt out the door.
But just as she'd done when she first entered the room and subjected herself to the class, he watched her breathe deeply and root her feet to the spot before looking harshly at him.
Skeptical.
That fucking thing she always did with her eyebrow when she had some smart-ass remark to say.
"Are you sure you can even manage? You stumbled over your entire lecture today. I'm not even sure you can spell baby, let alone hold one properly."
Sebastian snorted, feeling some of the tension ease. She always had a way of making things just a bit easier to stomach with that snark. Better yet, her voice and that familiar dry tone effectively stemmed his tears.
"That's rich coming from the woman who attended my parenting class." He started before throwing caution to the wind and holding out his arms. "Come on, give her here."
Now it was her turn to scoff, but reluctantly, she delicately handed over the wriggling child to him.
She muttered, "In my defense, Healer Larson was meant to be my instructor. He's her Healer, after all."
"And I'm her father." Sebastian shot back, just as quiet, while he took Eleanor gingerly.
A very large part of him would rather die than admit she was absolutely correct - rather than the wondrous miracle moment he'd pictured where he and his child instantly bonded and she stopped crying the moment he embraced her, as if sensing their blood connection, the precise opposite happened.
He truly was awkward with babies.
Shifting her in his hold repeatedly, seemingly incapable of finding a comfortable position where he didn't feel like her fragile little head was going to loll right off her body, she did not cease screaming and instead wailed even louder.
Blood pressure instantly spiking, Sebastian felt pure panic rather than fatherly peace.
He opened his mouth to ask her to take back her baby so that he didn't give the poor thing trauma when instead, her delicate arms deftly adjusted the child, comfortably now, in his hold.
"You literally just taught us this, Sebastian. Really now..." She fussed, but there was a ghost of a smile on her lips.
Eleanor now nestled far more easily in the crook of his arm, and her whining grunts settled quickly to contented silence again. Sebastian breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled appreciatively up at the mother of his now peaceful bundle.
"I suppose it's a bit different teaching versus... doing?" He offered pathetically, but the slight twitch of her lips was unmistakable.
And it made him melt.
Then it brought up an entirely fresh emotion - one he was much more familiar with expressing toward her.
Anger.
"How could you keep something of this magnitude from me, dear? Or rather, someone?" He didn't want to sound as accusatory as he did, but it was difficult not to when he was meeting their child for the first time. He told her as much. "Admittedly, I'm finding it difficult to find any excuse for this."
Crossing her arms, that practically imperceptible smile faded back to a frown, and she simply dug her heels in, defiant.
"Then it's a good thing I'm not here to make excuses. I intentionally did not tell you, dear."
Well, that certainly stung.
Doing his utmost to keep his tone level so as not to disturb Eleanor, Sebastian wasn't about to back down either. "And why, precisely, is that? Did you honestly delude yourself into thinking that I would not have moved mountains to make something - anything - work if I'd have known?"
"You stole my cat."
Sebastian froze.
"So keeping my own daughter a secret was revenge over Finch? I know maturity isn't always your strong suit, but -"
"Not revenge. I knew you'd be over the moon to be a father and that you would have certainly found a way to reconcile things after finding out. But who's to say you wouldn't get pissed off at me again down the line and try to snatch her away just like you did with Finch? You were petty in demanding to keep him and kick me out of our home - all because I wouldn't obediently listen to you. I wasn't risking it."
Sebastina balked at her, feeling righteous indignation brewing, ready to blow.
"A child is not a cat, you realize." He spoke through gritted teeth, wanting to wring her neck not for the first time. "I would never have even dreamt of separating our child from you - but it appears you had no qualms doing it to me."
A small part of him rationalized, however, that, of course, she'd assumed as much. Finch had been her darling sweet boy for years, and Sebastian insisted on keeping him out of spite - not love for the feline.
Of course, she'd doubt him.
But he was still pissed.
"What were you thinking? She's got to be nearly 2 months old now - you've had nearly a year to get this off your chest. I should have been there. A pregnancy by yourself? The birth? How didn't I know about a single damn bit of it?! How could you keep this to yourself?! You really are the most insufferable -"
She cut him off, looking far more sheepish than defiant. It was so odd to see her without her usual fight, but he was too furious to dwell on it.
"In my defense..." She began reluctantly. "I also was unaware."
"What?" He hissed out sharply, now livid and confused.
"I didn't even know I was pregnant. I might have told you had I found out early on, but I panicked when she was born."
Temper deflating significantly, he asked, "When did you find out?"
Now, she really looked flustered, and her hand reached up to rub the back of her head, uncomfortable and embarrassed.
"Um... when she was born?" She answered weakly.
"When she was born? You went through nine entire months of carrying a child, and you mean to tell me it took pushing out a whole child for your thick head to grasp the concept?"
Sebastian was incredulous.
He'd seen women who hadn't known they were pregnant, of course, until many months along. There had even been the rare few who'd made it to the point of birth that were surprised.
But she was different - she was an Auror, for goodness sake.
Perceptive, intelligent, and always alert to the tiniest little change in her surroundings to the point a fly in the apartment had once driven her to near-madness until she nearly set the building ablaze with a manic Incendio to shut its buzzing up.
There was no way in hell that her keen senses wouldn't have caught on to all the obvious signs.
"Missed menstruation, weight gain, fatigue, appetite changes, malaise - nothing at all struck you as odd?" He needled for answers, stepping closer to her and taking pride in the fact that she looked even more mortified with his disbelief.
"I mean, I noticed. In hindsight, it's all quite obvious." She began meekly, averting her gaze to Eleanor rather than meeting Sebastian's hard stare.
"In hindsight?!" The sleeping baby in his arms was the only thing keeping him from shaking the woman in front of him. "You could have been hurt - Eleanor could have been harmed. What were you thinking?"
That got her attention - suggesting she'd intentionally endangered their child through sheer negligent stupidity may not have been the move, and Sebastian realized it far too late.
Her eyes, piercing as they always were when she needed to warn someone, held his own now, unflinching.
"I was thinking that the fatigue was due to the fact that I had to move back into the recruit lodgings when my fiance kicked me out. I was thinking that my depression and malaise were from, I don't know, simply being depressed over the end of my near-decade-long relationship. I was thinking that my appetite and subsequent weight gain were likely from the mountains of sweets I consumed to distract me from my distress."
"Oh." He said, struck dumb and speechless by the sudden outburst.
"Oh." She mimicked petulantly.
His stomach churned at the monumental mess this whole thing had turned into.
Sebastian took a deep breath, shutting his eyes and allowing a wave of self-disgust to sweep over him while he pictured the scene. The woman he'd wanted to marry and build a life with, her mental state in shambles and the last little spark of their time together growing inside her whilst she crumbled, alone.
Body demanding that he take a seat, Sebastian did as much, pinching the bridge of his nose with the hand not supporting Eleanor's head to stave off what was surely going to be a headache of monstrous proportions as this all sank in.
She followed suit and sat across from him.
"Well, the pregnancy, at the very least, sounds typical enough, I suppose. No difficulty with the birth?" He asked, feeling immensely drained and needing to hear the end of it.
"Define difficult." Came her immediate reply, and his eyes snapped up to give her the most withering stare he could muster.
"Let me rephrase my question with abundant clarity, dearest - you gave birth at roughly nine months in a hospital with none of those near-death experiences you're so fond of?"
"Yes, well." She coughed uncomfortably, shuffling her feet and looking more like a scolded child than an Auror now. "I did indeed give birth on target, and there was a Healer present who can vouch for my valiant and not-at-all deadly efforts to bring forth Eleanor."
"Tell me. Now."
She deflated immediately in the face of his impatience.
"Well, you know how I am - I was in the Carpathians just finishing up a scouting mission when -"
"You were in the mountains with our child?"
" - when I encountered a dragon and -"
"A dragon. You were carrying our daughter, in the mountains, where there were dragons." He confirmed in a deadpan.
She continued anyway.
"Yes. And I thought I'd pissed myself because, you know, dragon. But then the beast fucked off and I was left in a puddle when the abdominal pain hit."
"Labor." Sebastian arched a brow, listening with rapt interest and trying not to speak with a condescending tone, which was just begging to slip out.
If this were anyone else...
"And by the time I'd made it back to camp, our medi-witch surprised the hell out of me when, lo-and-behold, she did not, in fact, confirm I had pissed my trousers or come down with a nasty case of some mountain flu. One quick look, and she had me on my back spread out, with complete indignity, mind you, for all to see."
She paused in her rambling a moment before taking a breath to continue -
"Well, really just three to see because it was a rather sparse party, but regardless Eleanor made an appearance quite swiftly, and we were ushered back to London almost immediately where Healer Larson looked us over and -"
"Andrew bloody Larson met my child before I did?" He shouted at that, positively flummoxed by the entire story, but deciding to cling to the fact that his own coworker and childhood friend hadn't said a damn word to him about his fiance - ex-fiance - giving birth in a goddamned tundra.
The witch in question, however, was wholly unfazed by his continued interruptions and obvious agitation, as always, and barreled forward in her tale.
" - and gave us both a clean bill of health. I begged him not to tell anyone for a while as I sorted things out."
She inhaled deeply and smiled, pleased, her shoulders relaxing as if she'd just unburdened an immense weight with that -
"Absolute horror story. That is, by and large, the worst thing I've ever heard in my life, you deranged woman."
He was speechless for a long moment after that, hugging Eleanor tighter to him as he pictured the birth vividly. The woman he loved, a petite thing despite all her accomplishments, and tender-hearted underneath her crass exterior, bearing childbirth of all things in some snowy, dragon-infested wasteland, guided by a Healer trained in combat wounds and little more support than the gruff, gnarled old men he knew were on her mission teams.
He felt faint picturing the way her screams must have echoed in the mountain, a stark contrast to the bright young woman sitting across from him, looking proud of herself.
A wave of pure, overwhelming adoration washed over Sebastian and, carefully as he could, rose with the sleeping Eleanor secure in his arms and approached her before she could react, leaning down and letting his forehead rest in the crook of her neck.
"I love you. You're absolutely insane, but I love you so much." He muttered against her skin, inhaling her familiar scent.
She tensed for a moment, but Sebastian didn't have time to backtrack or even reconsider his words because she laughed.
He felt like his entire world had just simulataneously crumbled and been rebuilt and she fucking laughed, the lunatic.
"So you love me in spite of my insanity, or because of it?" Her voice rang out, clearly teasing, and it earned her yet another withering stare up at her.
But, despite his irritation, he smiled as well.
"Both, likely." He took a breath and stood a bit straighter to take her in better, keeping his tone as calm as he could now that he was weak to her yet again. "So, I can understand why you didn't tell me about the pregnancy, all things considered - but it's been, what, over a month? You couldn't have even written?"
Again, her cheeks reddened, and she busied her fingers with Eleanor's blanket, fussing with the edges uselessly to adjust it around her.
"I planned on telling you, I swear, but the right time never came up. The birth was a shock, all the paperwork with the Aurors, trying to just adjust my entire life in one fell swoop..." She admitted quietly, not looking at him. "I didn't know how you'd react. It had been months since I'd seen you. I was afraid. I... I did have the Healers write in her last name as Sallow on the birth certificate, though..."
Sebastian scoffed softly, but his heart shattered all the same.
"Look at me."
She did.
"You never have anything to be afraid of with me. I was wrong. From the start. I would do anything to go back and fix all this. You should have been in our home, I should have noticed the pregnancy. We should have been married by now and as happy as we've always been. It's a mess, but we'll manage it. I promise, I'm here."
He sighed heavily, groaning at what he was about to concede, but if it meant having her back - having Eleanor - it was minor. Pushing her away because he was afraid to lose her? Now that was insane.
"Be an Auror. Be anything you want. Just come home and be mine again."
"I've always been yours." She replied simply a bright smile on her lips as she looked up at him.
Sebastian was stunned by her immediate acceptance. No grudge? No fight?
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
That was enough of a reason for Sebastian, and he matched her smile before leaning down to brush his lips against hers, just barely, before speaking again.
"...is this just so you can have your damn cat back?" He teased.
The feel of her breath against his face when she laughed was perfect, but not nearly as lovely as when she pecked his lips with a giggle - an act he had sorely missed over the months.
"Finch ought to meet his baby sister, don't you think?" She asked coyly and pulled back. "Besides, you'll have no more qualms because not only am I on maternity leave, but even after I return, I'm sticking to internal investigations only. No more lopped off limbs for this daredevil - just papercuts. I realized I don't want to run off dying before I at least see what House she's sorted into."
For probably the fiftieth time that day, Sebastian was gobsmacked.
"You're serious, aren't you?" He asked, unable to stop the grin spreading across his face, his heart racing in his chest. "You know, if all I needed to do was knock you up, I'd have given you scores of children by now."
She scowled, but it was more playful than agitated.
"If you weren't holding our child, I might be swayed to strangle you." She said dryly.
"Funny, I was thinking the same about you earlier."
-
The remainder of the afternoon, they sat in the empty room catching up, stealing kisses and flirtatious touches - nothing too scandalous for pure, sweet Eleanor, of course - and making plans for the future.
She remained cozily nestled into his lap on the floor as he leaned against the wall, Eleanor in her own lap while they conversed.
His lips lingered for a moment on her neck before he paused and pulled back, scowling and offended.
Once again, Sebastian was ready to wring his beloved's beautiful neck when she suggested simply signing paperwork at the Ministry to get hitched so as to avoid having a bastard child much longer.
"We can't live in sin, Sebastian." She joked, nudging him with her shoulder.
"Bold request from the most sinful little brat I know - I vividly recall what you dragged me behind that Muggle church for at your cousin's wedding."
Utterly unashamed, she shot him that same infuriating grin he loved so much, and more than murdering her, he wanted to kiss it off her face.
"No. Absolutely not." Sebastian continued adamantly, shaking away his more lust-fueled thoughts to be revisited later that evening. "The ridiculous dress, the mortification of dancing for an audience, the vows - traditional vows and not whatever comedy skit I see you plotting as we speak - you're enduring it all, and our love child - not whatever wretched name you called her - will be the guest of honor."
She groaned and sighed in feigned resignation, slumping back against him.
"Fine, fine. One filthy joke, and I swear I'll do the rest by the book." She haggled.
Sebastian opened his mouth to protest and tell her she damn well better stick to the script or he would Imperius her, but the door opened into their little sanctuary, and his jaw went slack.
There stood Andrew Larson.
Looking decidedly not ill in the slightest.
That rapidly changed, though, when they made eye contact and the other Healer went ghostly white.
"I-I um... I see you had a successful time filling in for my class?" He offered weakly, looking far too guilty.
And it all clicked into place.
"She swore you to secrecy, so you planned this. The personal invitation, leaving her name off the roster, calling out sick." Sebastian accused.
Andrew looked ready to faint.
"I would never!" He tried and failed to protect his innocence, guilt spelled clearly on his face.
He never had been a good liar.
"You clever bastard, I would kiss you square on the mouth if I weren't a taken man." Sebastian praised, impressed and grateful.
Andrew's unease melted into relief, and he smiled back.
"Anytime, Sallow. You three deserve some happiness, and frankly, I'm a bit exhausted trying to keep it under wraps." He admitted sheepishly.
He did not linger, not wanting to invade the family's solitude, and the door closed with a soft click behind him.
"You're awfully quiet, my love. I'd ask if the cat has your tongue, but the fat rascal is likely still curled up where I left him on the windowsill." He teased his bride-to-be.
She hummed softly, musing over her thoughts a moment longer. "Just deciding whether I want to send Larson a cursed object for his betrayal or a proper gift as thanks because, despite the anxiety of this all, things worked out. I never knew he was so mischievous."
Sebastian pressed a kiss to the top of her head and chuckled.
"I always thought motherhood would temper a wild spirit. Besides, I'm grateful to him. Who knows how long my stubborn girl would have taken to come back to me, hm?"
He squeezed his arms around her waist affectionately and nuzzled against her, pure joy at having her again.
Again, he could feel her palpable desire to protest and bicker for the sake of her pride, but perhaps becoming a mother truly had quelled just a bit of that fire, because she simply groaned and allowed him to carry on.
Eleanor, still amazing to Sebastian, managed to remain sweetly asleep despite the noise and jostling.
He was certain she'd grow up just like her mother, which was all the more reason to embrace the brief years of tranquility they had now.
"I can already tell she's going to be a menace and a Gryffindor." He mused, peppering her cheek and neck playfully with kisses and taking full advantage of the fact she could not swat him away with her hands full.
She squealed, delighted.
"Merlin forbid!"
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