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whollyjoly · 4 days

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for some reason i can't explain i know saint peter won't call my name

nothing that lives, lives forever - an immortal soldier!alton more au

(1.1k of snippets from my old guard(ish) au where alton more is old, too old, and has been living and fighting far longer than anyone should. full description/other thoughts at the bottom. tw: blood, violence, mentions of death)

Alton clicked the lighter closed, running a thumb over the silver case. The night was warm, sticky in a way that he never could get used to. He sucked in a breath from the cheap cigarette, letting his head fall back against the rough side of the barracks.

It was quiet. Typically, there would be no end to the commotion coming from the small building, one of many that littered Camp Toccoa. The wall of sound was ever-present, no matter if it was shouting or laughing or snoring. But whatever the cause, there was always noise.

No matter if it was a blanket of noise he knew well, unchanging except for the language and the scenery. Soldiers are soldiers, and some things are a constant. It could almost be comforting, if it didn’t also mean that the need for soldiers was a constant as well.

However, tonight was a Saturday, and it was one of the few weekends that Sobel had allowed Easy the use of their weekend passes. Almost every man in the company had jumped at the chance to get off base, to travel home if they could and spend time with loved ones. The ones with farther-flung hometowns had spirited off to Atlanta, happy to spend their time drinking and dancing and fucking instead of slogging through another run, three miles up, three miles down.

Normally, Alton would have joined them in their carousing - it was easier to pass the time with the effortless camaraderie built during a training camp than bored and alone.

But today had been a bad day. The sound of swords and the shift of sand beneath his feet followed him out of his nightmares, the humid summer of Georgia morphing itself into the baking, dry heat of the desert.

His shouts must have been real, because when a hand came to shake him out of his dream, the first face he saw was not that of a grouchy NCO, but of a blood-caked Saracen, eyes alight with righteous fury.

Alton didn’t think. He had grabbed the knife from under his pillow, an old thing that had been sharpened more times than he could begin to count, and was on the man in less than a breath, pressing the blade into the side of his neck. The familiar thrum of blood beat against his fingertips, the grit of sand scratched his gums. He knew what he had to do, had done it a thousand times, a thousand thousand times, what was a little more bloodshed spilled across his feet-

Alton had blinked, and came to himself in a rush.

Instead of an unnamed Saracen, the ashen face of Johnny Martin stared up at him, eyes wide behind the knife.

Alton drew back his hand, retreating almost as quick as he had lunged earlier. He mumbled a quick curse and apology as he stepped out of arm’s reach from the man. It wasn’t until Martin’s eyes widened even farther that Alton realized his tongue was slipping out Arabic of all things.

Usually, Alton was better about remembering himself, who he was almost as important as where he was. But for whatever reason, his demons had decided to catch up with him that night.

After a quick smile and some quip about the Krauts in his dreams, he managed to wave an only-slightly-mollified Martin off. The shorter man apparently hadn’t forgotten it though, if his watchful eyes during chow that morning were anything to go by.

Alton was just glad that no one else was awake to see it, at least. That was the last thing he needed.

And so, instead of joining in on a weekend of broads and booze, Alton found himself waving away the invitation by an eager Smokey and bemused Alley. When the horde made their way out of the barracks, fantasizing in bawdy terms about their planned misadventures, he felt like he could breathe easy.

Fucking finally.

Alton took another drag from the cigarette. He watched the smoke curl, up and up until it faded into nothing amongst the darkening sky.

The lighter was a welcome weight in his hand, grounding him to this time, this life.

The design was worn by now, details barely visible after a half century of worrying. It still managed to amaze him, sometimes, what people could do with the smallest of canvases. Alton didn’t feel the same wonder however, wasn’t as mesmerized by the beauty man could create as he once was.

But in the quiet moments, he could still appreciate the time some French craftsman took to transform a hunk of metal into a small token carried around by a dead man.

Luz had spied the lighter one weekend, and laughed at him for using something so old-fashioned. Alton just shrugged, not caring to admit that he was still getting used to having a light at his fingertips. It wasn’t all that long ago when he was still lighting a pipe with a flintlock pistol, and not so long before that when he would carry around a flint and steel.

Time was passing all the more quickly these days, technologies changing and advancing, and everyone was obsessed with needing things to be quicker, cheaper, simpler. Alton scoffed. He could hardly find it in him to care.

He glanced down at the lighter in his hand, shifting it back and forth in a practiced motion and watched as the light skittered across the sides.

It had shown flowers, once. A veritable garden of carnations, daffodils, and lilies of the valley, with leaves spilling across the front panel onto the back. They represent good fortune, he was told. Good fortune, luck, and hope.

When the merchant described it to him, eyes ablaze with a passion known only to those with wares to sell, Alton didn’t try to hide the snort that escaped his throat.

Fortune and Luck had abandoned him long ago, and hadn’t returned since waking up in a battlefield abandoned by all but the dead, sword in his chest and blood in his mouth.

And what the fuck was Alton supposed to do with hope?

It was the quote on the back that had caught his eye, all those years ago in a street market in Reims. The beveled edges had faded with time, the familiar letters Alton traced were more memory by now than any physical mark. Une vie honorable est une vie éternelle.

An honorable life is an eternal life.

Alton couldn’t help but stare at the message, both then and now. He hated that goddamn word. Immortal. Unending. Eternal.

They were such flowery words, used by people who craved what they couldn’t have, what they shouldn’t. The romanticized idea of the everlasting, the fountain of youth, the gift of life! Alton was sick of it.

This wasn’t life. He was a fucking dead man walking. And he sure as hell didn’t do anything honorable to deserve it.

months ago, while thinking about the absolute insanity of the almost...cavalier? attitude we see alton more have over the course of the series, an idea hit my brain: what if there was a reason nothing seemed to phase him - not panzers, not being a breath away from a car wreck, not bastogne, not speirs? what if this wasn't his first war? that thought spiraled me into a minor insanity that is this: my immortal soldier!alton more au, loosely inspired by the movie the old guard (2020). the idea is that, once upon a time, there was a soldier in a land many centuries ago. one day, he died in battle. and then, he woke up. and then he died. and then he woke up. over, and over. drawn to countless battles, conflicts, and wars, each one etching itself into the core of his soul. a never-ending cycle...until one sweltering summer, where he found himself at a training camp at the foot of a mountain. anyways. at some point, i plan on writing this as a full story, but that is admittedly a long ways away. however, in celebration of alton more's birthday today, i wanted to post my favorite scene that i've written for this au! it's set sometime at the beginning of the story, in the early days of camp toccoa. mostly, it's just a character study of this version of alton more. hope you enjoyed! and of course - happy birthday alton more!

(song insp.)

taglist: @sweetxvanixlla @coco-bean-1218 @bucky32557038ww2 @georgieluz @samwinchesterslostshoe @xxluckystrike @next-autopsy @ronald-speirs @land-sh @ronsparky @panzershrike-pretz @theredrenard @kyellin

#happy alton more day!#holy shit im actually posting this...i've been sitting on it for MONTHS #but YEAH its just...the gothic romanticism about the physical embodiment of war and soldiers and the concept of death you know??#what it means to feel and to live and to connect to those around you when it all feels so fleeting #fleeting not just due to the nature of war but also the nature of immortality #or something #...look i have a lot of thoughts about this story okay #it kills me #its also known in my brain as the “how immortal soldier!alton more made friends” story #because literally thats it thats the plot #OH WAIT did i forget to mention that speirs is also an immortal soldier in this story??#oh yeah thats the best fucking bit - they met like centuries and centuries ago on the wrong ends of one of the various punic wars #(where speirs was known back then as...wait for it...TERTIUS)#its good goddamn shit okay #also explains why alton is so fucking unflinching towards speirs at any given point and why they were so petty about the photo albums #ANYWAYS if anyone wants to hear more about this!! come stop on by!!!#also yes the title is a reference to the old guard #as is the reference to the siege of jerusalem which is where joe and nicky met #immortal soldier!alton more #alton more #easy company #band of brothers fic #mine #band of brothers #bofb #hbowar #em's moodboards #em writes #jesus christ i guess that's a tag now #alright here we go out into the void

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front-facing-pokemon · 11 months

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#ahh‚ the other half of team tasty. the ever-so-ravenous subject of wurmple's endless fear #swellow #i've already talked at length about how much i love team tasty but this is Literally the team tasty Guy this is Him!! it's the Dude!!#ugh every team had like. goals‚ didn't they? and bulbapedia lists their goals. i remember 'cause team meanies just said cause trouble #or something like that. fuck lemme go look #okay no team meanies was “wealth and world domination” fine #DAMN team tasty's purpose is unknown. i thought there would be SOME subtext in the game with how much dialogue they have #i'm gonna have to replay pmd sky all over again just so i can closely follow these two's story down to a fuckin tee #i gotta keep a very close eye on these dudes next time i play it. but. i'm gonna finish totk first because holy shit #i love that game. a lot. i've been playing it like all day the past few days after work #fellow totkers rise up. this is not a zelda blog it's a pokémon blog #here's swellow

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saintchaser · 5 months

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can you do a character analysis for peter? i really loved reading your james analysis and how you described mary as a character too :))

peter has always been a follower. despite the light that shines within him, he has always preferred to keep himself quiet and say nothing, because that way, he knew he would do nothing wrong and the people around him him would like him. he’s a people pleaser and someone who doesn’t stand up for what he believes in, afraid of what others people might think about him.

outside of the marauders, he does have a handful of friends, quiet people like him, who find shelter in each other and who allow themselves to be loud when they’re together, because in any other instance, someone would listen to them. he’s a friendly person, and despite the fact that he isn’t friends with as many people as others are, his friendships are always deep and meaningful, because he knows how to talk and how to listen.

it’s not that j&s&r don’t care about him but, comparing himself to james and sirius, peter has always felt quite insignificant. james had been his friend ever since he was little, and he knew james before his name and before he was something, he knew him ever since he was a boy with gapped teeth and, for some reason, he finds something comforting in that. with sirius, though, it’s different; it’s a boiled down jealousy that peter tries to hide, that sirius got that version of james, that he had been so easily replaced. (he finds comfort in marlene for that, because she shares the sentiment.)

due to quieting himself down, he often doesn’t really know who he is. he ties himself to his relationship and at the slightest change in behaviour, he doubts himself. he overanalyses people’s attitudes towards him and whenever something shifts, he wonders if he did something wrong, despite the fact it wasn’t the case.

peter’s a loving and caring person, but some of his traits are often shadowed by his perception of himself due to other people. he always cared about what other people thought of him, ever since he was little. he can’t stand being alone, because that’s when his heart aches for something that he can’t quite put his finger on.

#holy shit this got long #i have a lot of thought on peter too #also he is slightly based off of me but how about we ignore that!!! we definitely should #i also think that by quieting himself down in order to appeal to people he resembles remus in a way #but they do it due to different reasons #anyways! peter my poor little meow meow #peter pettigrew #character analysis #(i think that he also quite resembles narcissa)

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luvring · 6 months

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my neighbour has a car with "free palestine" on the side and they covered it (the car not the writing) up some time last month which was saddening but understandable and like . i hadn't even seen it in their driveway the past few days either which was Very weird to walk past because well. it's always been out there. but i just saw a video of the car at the front of the march in my city and i wanted to cry a little

#💬nia.rambles #i dont know it was just really nice to see that the car was okay and they were out there #it seriously caught me off guard i was watching a bunch of stories and i went holy shit .#like thats my neighbour. Like. thats my neighbour ive seen that car every day for years but never on the road and. idk. gah #ive never spoken to them but they stay in my thoughts and i hope theyre okay and know they have a lot of support #i hope if theres another march i get to go .. so so happy to see how many people are marching/protesting. like. Globally. man

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goldkirk · 4 months

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My five happy things for the day

• paper that has a good feeling texture

• things not feeling like an emergency EVERY second of the day, only part of the time

• the fact that these cheapo stamp ink pads from Walmart a few years ago somehow still have a bit of functioning ink not dried out?

• I’m able to track and retain conversations for longer periods of time again, I’m finally finally finally feeling some progress

• putting on a warm hoodie or coat when feeling chilled

#fivethingsaday #I still can’t believe people LIKE me!! ?! ?! ?! ?!#I’ve accidentally wound up dumbfounded with a delightful number of friends #like. wait. I thought you guys were playing a very long trap or were only liking me because of obligation or worth vs hassle ratio.#I thought I was just enjoying it before it vanished! but yowza!!!#apparently I DID get the chance for it to be real #and I am in the middle of living an adult life I didn’t think I’d see!!!#so anyway holy shit I apparently am not secretly a poison to people #these cool people I’ve been so admiring of and wished I could really have a life with someone like them as a friend #BITCH I DO IT IS ME #what the FUCK.#anyway I’ve got to go keep trying to wrangle my very uncooperative knee #and marvel at the slowly-dawning reality of being liked actually not just kept around #god grade school age social hierarchy lessons sure get roots down in deep #I’m so pleased as punch and totally in skeptical disbelief. I’m also delighted and horrifically embarrassed and feeling stupid and feeling #unbearably grateful and feeling quite particularly like I’m in the Truman show and also won the lottery #I’m going to do a lot of STICKING WITH IMPORTANT ROUTINES FOR MY WELL-BEING about it #add to journal

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moffnat · 7 months

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okay. it's time i broke my silence. i'm obsessed with baldur's gate 3 and it has brought me back to tumblr in the Year Of Our Lord 2023. i haven't been active on tumblr since the dark days of GoT. im fucking insane

#like honestly i thought i'd never be here again #but here i am!!!! absolutely feral and crazy!#i do miss the p*rn so i'll still keep twitter but like #holy macaroni #someone talk to me about halsin #and wyllstarion #and bloodweave #and shadowzel #i have a lot of feelings and nowhere to scream them coherently so #guess i'm fucked!!! gotta update all my tumblr shit now! insane! wild!#bg3

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quietwingsinthesky · 8 months

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Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic he’d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also don’t think homophobia would’ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously he’s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandom’s general opinion on that is pretty warped by people’s relationships w/ their own fathers

I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I don’t think there’s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what he’s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think we’d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.

The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power he’s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)

(I also think that sometimes fandom’s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out John’s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Max’s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about John’s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you can’t talk about any of those things without also talking about why they’re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.

I’m sure there’s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. I’ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)

Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.

The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, John’s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. He’s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because they’re queer???

Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ‘that’s fine, now load this gun while I time you because that’s more important for me to know that you can do’, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and can’t be accepted easily.

I just think this is truer to John’s character.

Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I don’t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what John’s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldn’t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.

So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldn’t hurt him.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.

And also he wouldn’t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-

#this was so many words holy shit I did not need to ramble that much #but I did <3 #this is what u get when u send me an ask I have too many thoughts #john winchester #ask #spn #again reiterating that like. it is not a bad thing to work out ur issues through fiction.#hell knows I do. and hell knows I used to be a lot less kind to John BECAUSE daddy issues. so I get it. it’s literally fine. it’s fandom.#u are free to do whatever so long as you aren’t a dick to other people about the character they like that you dont #(…I am going to side eye you if you feel the need to insist john had to be physically abusive because he was just That Bad to his kids.#but that’s more like. ‘I think you might have some unexamined biases about the nuances of abuse.’ more than anything.)#tw abuse #re: John abandoning his kids:#I know Bad Boys(?) has John leaving dean at the boy’s home. uh. personally?#I think that’s just bad writing. I think they misunderstood John’s particular brand of weird relationship to dean.#I don’t tend to count that instance as canon or at least not in the way the show presented it.#but ur mileage obv may vary. it’s just my opinion that that was a later seasons fumble.

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a-raven-of-their-word · 6 months

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With a single misclick and a forgotten letter Necromancy becomes Nekomancy. You just went from raising and controlling the dead to summoning and controlling cats.

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adriancatrin · 1 year

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the difference between The Painted Lady and Sokka’s Master—what makes one so much more iconic than the other—is that The Painted Lady may as well be Imprisoned (season one), just done-up in Fire Nation attire. we learn nothing new about katara in that ep that we didn’t know from season one. and The Desert in season two CEMENTED katara as the heart of the group in a way that wasn’t even necessary to try to do again in season three.

Sokka’s Master, on the other hand, gives us a whole new look at sokka. Imprisoned and The Warriors of Kyoshi (in season one) are katara and sokka eps respectively, meant to give us a look into their characters and acquaint ourselves with them. season two is incredible because it assumes we already know the characters, and it lets us sit in them and enjoy the ride for amazing arcs through Story, above all else. but early season three brings back the Character episodes. the Headband, Painted Lady, Sokka’s Master, the Runaway (and as a bonus, unlike season one, we also get The Beach for the FN team). each main character gets their own re-establishing ep. great, cool, whatever—what about Sokka’s Master tho?

shhh patience lol i’m getting there. Painted Lady shows that katara is the same, she still cares about the lil guy(s), despite all else, just like she did in Imprisoned. she can’t leave desperate people behind.

but in The Warriors of Kyoshi, sokka thought he was the Shit, and had to have it proved to him that that wasn’t the case (god bless u suki). in Sokka’s Master, however, it’s the exact opposite. his arc at that point brought him to having nearly no faith in himself. Warriors of Kyoshi was about bringing sokka down to earth (being A MAN💪🏽 isn’t the end all be all), and Sokka’s Master is about bringing him back up (what does it mean to be a man? 🌈). it’s obviously a huge shame that the invasion ended up sitting him right back down again in his insecurities. but i imagine if Sokka’s Master had never happened, he wouldn’t have been able to bounce back post-Boiling-Rock, regardless of whether or not he’d successfully broken his dad (and suki) out. he needed the foundation of self-confidence to beat away the doubts later.

anyways, point is.. at least personally the Painted Lady ep has never stuck out to me as special, whereas Sokka’s Master is one of my fave eps of the show. and that’s not because i have it out for katara or anything and held sokka in especially high regard (Sokka’s Master is largely WHY i now hold sokka in high regard—but The Desert ep put katara in just as high a regard in my book, along w probs a dozen other eps that showcase her unique character). Sokka’s Master stands out because it shows us a new part of sokka, but the Painted Lady doesn’t show us anything new about katara. in a show that’s ultimately rather short, episodes that seem like clones the way Painted Lady & Imprisoned do end up feeling lackluster. idk. this isn’t to say i dislike the Painted Lady, i just wanted to get my thoughts out

#atla #katara #sokka #i really wanna stress that this isn’t katara hate #cuz i know a lot of ppl hate katara i guess #i absolutely adore her she’s amazing #but the painted lady feels like a Slog on rewatched #*rewatches #it’s just my—#thoughts #avatar the last airbender #atla meta #avatar meta #have i mentioned how much i LOVE the desert ep? i definitely have but holy shit #what a way to bring back heart and soul katara #literally everyone’s strengths are lost INCLUDING KATARAS WATERBENDING #but her waterbending has never been the most important part of her character #it’s her drive and her passion and her inherent ability to love and empathize #and that’s why she’s the one to pull everyone together and get them Out #ugh #such a good fuxking ep jesus christ #ugh i’m drunk #who woulda guessed #not like that’s all the time or anything pffff #any other zukka alcoholics out there ? ahhhahaha slap me and shut me up i swear

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