#3. had a 2 day training which was quite intense but very useful. basically about kids behaviour and how to help parents who have questions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

virghogh · 3 years

Text

NCT Dream Birth Charts x Hexaco Results Analysis pt. 1

recently NCT Dream were on a new reality show called Mental Training Camp where they are doing a variety of activities and all of their behavior and interactions are being analyzed by professional psychologists.

ofc my virgo sun mercury ass was thrilled and I had their birth charts pulled up the whole time to cross reference.

I wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on how the 2 might connect!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

**key: in the hexaco charts the blue represents the Dreamies, the orange is an average result of 300 college students who took the same test**

Mark - “Workaholic Leader”

✨leo sun // aries moon // cancer mercury // virgo venus // scorpio mars✨

they described him as a workaholic leader but quickly added that if he’s not now, he has potential to be in the future, although it seemed they all agreed he has workaholic spirit now

this immediately made sense to me when you look at his chart i mean he’s being driven by a fire sun and moon and a scorpio mars (used to be ruled by mars) and virgo venus both of which are signs that have strong work ethics

the reason I like that they mentioned he could grow into it is because he’s still young and I agree that his placements could become more serious about work and life as he gets older, I think his leo sun/aries moon combo gives him very youthful energy but they’re still very driven signs

mark agreed that even throughout his trainee years when he was still very young, he was always practicing and was always called a workaholic. I see this in the intense drive, work ethic and perfectionism of virgo and scorpio but shining through with the warmth of his sun and moon

lets talk about this hexaco chart, what sticks out the most is Mark’s level of conscientiousness! (its so high like what even-) Conscientious people are careful, precise, detail oriented and in general care about doing their tasks well. I think this is directly connected to his scorpio mars! I always say that no matter what is in a chart, having a scorpio in big 6 will always have a strong influence and with a virgo venus, even though venus is considered a love planet it is also our value system, how we discern what is worthy and unworthy for us, and having virgo there makes him very practical. (as I mentioned though I think all of his placements together reflect a very driven person) (I also think mark is lucky to have a fire moon because if he had a water or earth I think his obsession and perfectionism of scorpio and virgo would make him d*pressed or too hard on himself)

his virgo venus could even be why when they did the bag check they saw he’s quite “frugal” or practical and minimalist in the things he carries around. When you think about Venus, I mentioned it’s our values it’s also our aesthetics and it rules Taurus a materialistic sign, having virgo there gives me the impression of someone who is practical with their belongings, as we saw.

We’ll see later in the post that there are a few Hexaco charts that I felt were a little unexpected but Marks imo was sooo spot on with his placements. With a fire sun and moon he’s very warm and open and has firey emotions. he’s not afraid to show them or be reactive and responsive (emotionality)! I think his honesty-humility reflects this too, he’s not too overly or underly honest, he’s just straightforward what you see is what you get and he answers in such a way too. His emotionality reflects the cancer mercury, the rashness of aries moon, and sensitivity of scorpio mars.

tdlr; the human embodiment of driven, focused and hard working when it comes to his craft, but he loves to have fun in his outside life, and is practical in his inside life <3 his hexaco and birth chart align nicely

Jeno - “A scholar who gets hurt easily”

✨taurus sun // sagittarius moon // aries mercury // aries venus // taurus mars✨

so right off the bat I’m very curious where the scholar part comes in ?? They didn’t really reference it again in that way but I’m assuming they mean he’s very diplomatic? Defcon rephrased it as “you get miffed but well-mannered”

a recurring comment was that he gets annoyed easily but doesn’t show it, I thought that was really funny because I feel like it reflects his aries influence well; being a little hot-headed but he has the patience of his taurus sun and mars to filter it :’)

they talked a lot about how he gets hurt easily and mark even shared a cute lil story that practically had me on the floor because i just think it shows his taurus sooooo much I’d really love to have his house placements one day I’m really curious where his taurus is

if you didn’t see the episode basically mark said one time Jeno was passing some seniors in a building and said hi but they didn’t say hi back ): and just ignored him. Mark said Jeno was really hurt by that and went on about it for a long time saying stuff like “I’m sure they saw me” )): but he never expressed/acted on that hurt. taurus is represented by the bull so they do have a fierce side to them but imo i think taurus can be a really gentle/relaxed sign too; taurus mars is a slow to be angry slow to react placement, and one of the things taurus is well-known for is being fixed, stubborn, holding grudges which explains why that moment hurt and he held on to it. Jeno even agreed he tends to hold in a lot of his feelings and remembers little things that hurt him for a long time!

speaking of his taurus... they had a whole baseball analogy for the group saying that Jeno is a strong catcher, you can have a good pitcher but without a strong catcher the team would fall apart. They also mentioned a lot about Jeno not being in the spotlight, he doesn’t stand out, but he silently strengthens the team. And if that isn’t the most taurus description you’ve ever heard.,,,

I’ve been talking about his taurus a lot but at one point they said Jeno has a strong perfectionist side but he’s also very flexible and it’s difficult to have both. I personally see this a lot in his Sag moon (mutable) in contrast to his taurus placements (fixed). Sag moon to me always seem happy go lucky, if emotions come they go quickly too, mutable gives him that flexibility because they just like when things can change freely. It’s ruled by jupiter and I feel a common theme with sag in big 6 is it’s easy for people to be drawn to their jupiter qualities. They give the same freedom they crave, they can be very easy going and positive. Similar to mark, I also think it helps Jeno to have this moon sign over another!

as for the hexaco, I’ll be honest the level of introvertness/shyness was a little surprising from an astrology stand point. When we see Jeno in all the NCT content I feel like it’s obvious he is on the shy side but if I was looking at only his chart, I don’t think I was expect it to be to the extent of the hexaco chart! (plss i need his birth time) in the same thread, his emotionality is really low and I can’t say I’m surprised from an astrology view😅 it’s not that he’s not compassionate or anything because he does care a lot about not upsetting people, but as we saw he is not very reactive and receptive emotionally ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ his openness is low too which fits what we’ve talked about above about his lack of reaction/expression of emotions, I feel like sag moons also don’t dwell especially with no water placements.

The honesty and humility makes a lot of sense to me because i feel like taurus, aries and sag(!) are very righteous signs too! They care about integrity, they certainly might have their own idea of what is truth,.. but whatever it is, they believe in it!

last note I want to make is on the whole “jeno isn’t funny” bit since they mentioned it. He said it hurt his ego when they first started the joke but it’s been going on for so long that I think he adapted to being able to take it as just that, a joke! It’s also funny to me that it started in the first place because earth signs are often called boring (it’s okay I’m an earth sign too lol) and I also have sag influence and I know people find me quite funny but I never try to be funny and it usually comes after my earth walls are down with close friends.

tdlr; doesn’t ask or need spot light, gets annoyed easily but it doesn’t last, when something does hurt he remembers, slow or unlikely to be reactive and responsive, positive, comfort creature, loyal🥺

Chenle - “Friendly Guardian”

✨Sagittarius sun // Aquarius moon // scorpio mercury // scorpio venus // aquarius mars✨

there is something about chenle’s personality that I’ve always loved, he comes off as very warm, care-free, curious, friendly, caring. I like the personality title they gave him because I think it sums him up well. The members had all laughed when they saw it and enthusiastically agreed. I also love his hexaco chart and think it reflects him really well, with most of it being just outside of the average :’) as far as how it reflects his birth chart, let’s get into it

I do want to disclaim that Chenle was born on the sag/scorpio cusp and to be a sag he would have had to be born after 3pm (!) but I think we would all agree he’s definitely a sagittarius sun anyways

Before this show when I watch nct dream content it always fascinated me how easy going chenle was in chaotic situations, he never seems too demanding or controlling, and sometimes i wondered if he was holding back for the cameras and was actually really frustrated but based off the hexaco it seems like he is actually just that agreeable, from looking at just his chart I don’t know if I would have guessed his agreeableness was that far. I know sag suns can be very easy going and aquarius is a more chilled sign but he has 2 aquarius and 2 scorpio placements they’re both fixed signs and quite like to be in control😅 (can we get a birth time pls)

One argument could be the combination of sag sun with aquarius moon, since we have to look at all of it together. it does give me the impression of someone more easy-going possibly because there is the comfort of confidence! I feel like sag sun/aqua moon + mars would give someone a high opinion of themself (go chenle). this combination could create someone who is easy going because they don’t dwell and aren’t emotionally fueled nor do they fret over people that are. I’d say easy-going or maybe even just cool headed? He’s always laughing things off too, showing he doesn’t take himself too seriously!

Speaking of taking things seriously, I think we can see this in the conscientious part of the hexaco, it was the lowest and I think it can be explained by what I mentioned above. It’s not that he isn’t driven or doesn’t work hard, he’s a full time idol they all work hard but I think it represents that work isn’t the focus of his life but rather people, connection, community, and just being happy is?

they talked about how Chenle is the type of person that you meet and already feel like you’re friends. He could be the youngest in the room and talk down to you and you wouldn’t even think twice. This is huuuuge aquarius energy! I remember one of the first things I learned about aquarius was that they make friends everywhere. They talk to a stranger on the street for directions and next thing you know they’re “friends”

I also want to add that they mention he’s friendly but he gives off “big brother vibes” i feel like we’ve all seen that in other nct content too and would agree. This is interesting to me because sag and aquarius is not the same kind of friendliness as we see with marks leo sun aries moon. Leo and aries are “younger” signs, whereas aquas and sagittarius are towards the end of the signs, they’re considered “mature” signs which I feel contributes to chenle’s “big brother” energy. He has that aqua/sag energy where he seems really sure of himself, and wise and people look up to that.

I want to talk about his scorpio placements real quick because even though I just made a case for how open and easy-going he is, I’m still confused about how the scorpio fits into all of this. scorpio isn’t known to be one to be super open, agreeable or extroverted. I personally see his scorpio come out a lot in his realtionships. you can tell he cares deeply for his members and yes his aqua makes him get along with everyone but I feel like with the dream members we see that scorpio possessiveness and jealousy come out more. Lastly, I do want to add a little mystery to this, although his openness is high and it’s clear he is a very authentic person,,.. I definitely would not call him an open book👀

Chenle wasn’t able to be in the recording of this show unfortunately so all we got was a brief description of his hexaco chart and we won’t get any further analyses ):

although I do agree that his hexaco chart reflects how he comes off in shows, I don’t think it completely reflects his chart so I’m going to say the house placements would help create a better picture!

tdlr; fun and realtionships are a priority, he’s comfortable and confident in himself and people are drawn to that, v friendly😌but he has secrets👀

feedback, thoughts and clarifying questions are always welcome!

207 notes · View notes

redrobin-detective · 3 years

Text

thoughts on halfas I guess

Vlad Due to the nature of his accident, Vlad took a long time to come into his powers and really isn’t all that powerful at a basic level. What he has going for him is a stable human form and lots of time/training. Vlad stated that he spent “years” in the hospital from his ectoacne. I submit that he didn’t become half-ghost right away, instead sweating and suffering through ectoplasm contamination for like 2-3 years as it very slowly converted and eventually stabilized him as a halfa. Like going through that alone? Your friends not visiting you and going off and getting married without you? No wonder he’s bitter. His ghostly obsession is with control and power after going years without it. He actually generally forgot about the Fentons for a long time, very out of sight, out of mind. Only when he got the notice about the reunion did his obsession with latched onto them, determined to rewrite past wrongs and have power over those who hurt him (maddie as his forced lover and jack dead). This desire mostly switched over to controlling danny once he knew about him.

It took him a long while to get a grip on his powers once he stabilized, even simple ghostly tricks took a while to master. His desire to master them was helped/contributed to his obsession with power and control. Even the most basic of ghostly abilities took Vlad months if not years to get a handle on. It was also a struggle bc there really wasn’t any ghosts he could ask. Not just because of his pride being unwilling to ask for help (tho that did play a part) but also without a stable portal there’s not much access to the Zone/ghosts in general. He had to rely on natural portals opening and then somehow find his way back. He once got lost and was gone for 7 months real time. On the flipside, as a consequence of his powers building slowly with minimal ecto-contamination, Vlad is a very stable halfa. It would take a lot to kill him from either human or ghostly threats. His fire core is strong, steady but it never burns hot enough to hurt him. He constantly feels feverish (100-102F/38-39C) but its never enough to actively be a threat to his living body.

Danny Oh boy, where do I start with Danno? I stated above that Vlad took a long time with his powers and is a moderately powerful but stable halfa? Danny is the exact opposite. Homeboy but his ass deep-fried in ectoplasm, an intense jolt that immediately bonded ectoplasm to him skipping the majority of the ecto-contamination period Vlad suffered through while also ‘charging’ him. While it still took time to gain control of his powers, he had the power and ability to use them straight away. Vlad was secretly shocked to learn Danny had only had his powers a few months when they met. It took him years to reach that level of power/proficiency. He is, at his baseline, an incredibly powerful ghost both because of his halfa status but by the nature of how he got his powers. Like in a year he defeated ghosts far older and more experienced than him. It scares a lot of them though they won’t admit to it.

Vlad especially is worried that Danny is a shooting star, burning so brightly early on that he’ll burn and fade quickly. That future is very possible if he keeps pushing his powers as hard as he does throughout the series. If he doesn’t start slowing down by the time he finishes his adolescence then his human half will just give out. All that is basically a roundabout way of saying that Danny, as compared to Vlad, is a very unstable halfa. Too much power, relatively weak human body that cant quite contain all the energy while under constant stress. He’s more powerful naturally but he walks a very fine line, if he leans too far into one of his halves (overexerting himself as Fenton or Phantom) he could destabilize. It’s one reason that Vlad’s Danny clones had a hard time surviving, his ectosignature is incredibly tenuous and unstable and can only maintain under very certain circumstances.

Danny’s instability is both improved and worsened by the maturation of his ice core. On the one hand, it helps stabilize his ghost form by concentrating his ectoenergy within his body. It gives him greater control of his powers meaning he doesn’t have to exert himself quite so much. On the other hand, the natural consequences of his ice core really are stressful to Dan’s human body. While his body was completely changed and adapted to being made half-ghost it still has human needs and thus can’t be, like, completely frozen. Danny’s body is constantly at war with itself, Phantom trying to cool the body down to subzero temperatures for the health of its core while Fenton tries to keep the body somewhat warm for basic human purposes. He levels out somewhere around 93-95F/34-35C which is still hypothermic for normal people but he tolerates it. As Phantom, when he’s using his ice, there’s a mental thermometer in his head telling him when he needs to stop and warm up a bit. A bad fever or intense heat would be deadly to him as well. Basically Danny needs to learn to self regulate his powers, to not overuse them and respect his physical limits or he won’t make it to adulthood.

Danielle So Dani, taking cues from the sections above to talk about her. Gonna start by straight up saying that Dani isn’t human or really technically alive in a traditional sense. She is, however, a new type of ghost that closely mimics life. She has the advantage of having a true consciousness like a human, an ability to think and change outside of obsession and while she does ‘breathe’, ‘sleep’ and ‘eat’ her body doesn’t truly require it if it comes down to it. Downside is she isn’t like really alive alive and doesn’t have a real living body which makes her more prone to destabilizing (this will be an issue her whole life, the Fentons are constantly giving her injections and such to keep her together) and also doesn’t have human advantages like a living body to stabilize her or the ability to phase through ghost objects.

I spent a good long while saying that Danny himself is unstable and all of Vlad’s clones destabilized because of it. So what made Danielle different? Vlad combined some of his own core to hers in an experimental attempt to stop his clones from melting at the drop of a hat. It worked as Dani was the most stable of all the others but Vlad could sense his own energy in her, knew her core was not a true copy of Danny’s so he ceased that line of experimentation. As Dani develops and matures, more bits of Vlad pop up in her. She wakes up with fangs one day, sometimes Vlad’s control/power obsession bleeds into her and she develops a fire core, like him. Her core really upsets her, thinking she’s like him. Danny helps her work through it, saying her core doesn’t define her, that she’s not Vlad or Danny but her own person. They make a deadly combo, the fire and ice Phantom cousins, his hair misting like freshly fallen snow while hers crackles like a flame. They just gotta watch that they don’t freeze/overheat the other.

#danny phantom #danny phantom meta #things Ive been thinking on the last few days #usually the more powerful something is the more unstable #and Dannys powers developed *crazy* fast and one after another #he's doing high level attacks within his first year or two? whack #If he didn't slow himself down and not use his powers so strongly and recklessly then it would absolutely kill him #luckily he does #instinct plus decreasing ghost attacks his junior year mean he can afford to slow down #becoming ghost king also helped #the crown kind of counterbalancing his naturally high unstable energy #plus he wasn't actively fighting as much anymore #also I love Dani but she's not human #also shes basically Superboy from DC Comics as in a mix of danny/Vlad #Dani with a fire core is so rad

300 notes · View notes

seyaryminamoto · 3 years

Note

Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

#zuko-always-lies #more zuko meta #and it got long #:'D #if anyone needs a read more #let me know and I'll add it #but for now #it is what it is #you know it really is sad to write all this when I'm more or less making peace with Zuko via Gladiator #and actually making him reason with soooo much stuff #that he never really had to in the show #*siiiiigh*#he'll never be my fav #that much is obvious #but he could be MORE #and it's sad that he's not #very sad

132 notes · View notes

mrs-tsunderemeitantei · 3 years

Text

DISCLAIMER: HUGE, LONG RANT AHEAD!

ALSO SPOILERS IN CASE YOU'RE NOT UP TO DATE WITH THE MANGA OR WITH ZERO THE ENFORCER!

Soo in case you missed it, Gosho released the SDB Justice Plus some time last month:

The biggest shocker was the answer to Question number 4, shown below:

Basically this translates to:

Q4: On the Mystery Train, he (Amuro) said to Miyano Shiho that “My comrades who are tracking us have made arrangements in order to retrieve you”, but were those comrades from PSB? If that’s the case, I’m curious about how he planned to deceive Vermouth...!

A: Those were comrades from the Black Organization, so there was no need to deceive them.

Ummmm...what??

Idk about y'all but when I read this, I was livid. It didn’t make any sense to me. And quite frankly, I didn't want it to. Maybe because I am one of those (very rare) people who thought Rei and Shiho could eventually end up together (Don't laugh, it would have made sense, and I'll write about that in a separate post).

Anywho, safe to say Gosho's latest confession left me in absolute confusion. Like why? Just why? Then I realised I'm more butt-hurt about this because I was fixated on a certain idea of Rei's character and chose to ignore his other sides, as if they didn't exist. It didn't help that his past is so freaking depressing which got me sympathizing with his character and led me to either ignore or make excuses for any red flags.

But now that I think about it, it sadly makes sense. It also explains why he didn't show any sadness or regret when he saw Shiho supposedly ‘die’ in the luggage cart in the Bell Tree Train Arc.

Now to let me wrap my head around this, I needed to breakdown his three "faces":

1. Amuro Tooru is a cheerful, friendly, generous, carefree, outgoing man.

2. Furuya Rei is a serious, law-abiding, calculating, patriotic police officer who is willing to die for Japan's security.

3. And Bourbon is a devious, manipulative, cunning, deadly agent.

Yet, ever since we found out he was in fact an NPA agent, we (or at least I), seem to have forgotten about those dark sides he possesses. Also with Zero's tea time showing us a softer side of his character it was easy to get caught up in "he's 100% one of the god guys" when in fact, he's a complex, grey character.

He has shown on multiple occasions, just how far he is willing to go, to achieve whatever goal he’s set his mind on. Let's not forget how in Zero the Enforcer, he completely flipped the switch. (I know this isn't Canon but...) The man went as far as to create a suspect and jail the innocent Mori Kogoro so he can legally investigate the case and emotionally manipulate Conan into unkowningly help with the investigation.

Also, in the Detective Nocturne’s case he deliberately didn’t tell Ran as soon as he noticed Conan might have been kidnapped by the criminal because he hadn’t finished investigating the apartment.

And in the Scarlet Arc, he was willing to harm Jodie's teacher friend, so he can lure out the FBI and advance his investigation on Akai’s death. Let’s not forget once he figured out the truth, he was willing to expose Akai’s fake death (which I get it he's out for revenge), but by doing so, he would have also gotten Kir killed (even though I'm pretty sure he knew at that point, she was in fact a NOC).

As we can see, be it Bourbon, Furuya Rei or Amuro Toru, he will stop at nothing to reach his goals, even if it means throwing innocent people under the bus. So, now when Gosho says his "partners" were in fact BO members and not the PSB, I'm no longer surprised.

I mean, why wouldn’t he sell Shiho back to the organisation? Because he knew she was Sensei’s daughter, and that should have meant something to him? Alright, let’s talk about that.

Did he love Shiho’s mum? Yes, he did, there’s no doubt about that (one of the reasons he joined the joined the police in the first place was to find her, so you can't convince me otherwise).

But what if he loved Japan even more? (It's not canon, but he did say in Zero the Enforcer that the safety of this country matters most to him, even if it means he’d end up paying with his own life).

So, I'm going to take a wild guess as to how he could have felt when he found out the woman he loved as his own mother, willingly joined the deadly organisation that threatened the safety of his country. Based on his memories, he remembered her encouraging her husband to join the Carasuma group.

So, if through his investigations, he was able to realise she is the same woman from his childhood, I’m pretty sure he would have been very disappointed. I’m not sure the extent of his knowledge about the drug, but if he also found out their research created the poisonous APTX-4869, I reckon it would be more reason for him to be upset.

Now let's talk about Haibara/Shiho. To any outsider who's unaware of the truth of her past, she is a woman born into the organisation, then was groomed and taught from a young age by the syndicate and promoted to take on their research. A research that produced a poisonous drug, just like her parents did. Also, she only ran away after the organisation killed her sister. Before that, she was a high-ranking member. With all these facts, why would he think of her as anything but a criminal just like the rest of the BO members? It’d be rather foolish for him to not hand her back to the organisation just because she is the daughter of the woman he once thought so highly of. If anything, he’d be killing two birds with one stone, by executing a criminal, while also gaining higher standing in the organisation.

As fans of Haibara, we are rightfully upset by his intentions of returning her to the organisation because we know her truth. He doesn't. It wasn't until we learnt more about her painful past and kind and caring nature that we grew to love her. We know she never wanted to create a poisonous drug. That she already hated the organisation for using the drug as a poison. That she had to develop the drug to protect Akemi’s life.

There is no way Rei would have known about any of the bullying she or her family faced from the BO. By nature, Shiho is very secretive and reserved and very little of her personality or history would have been known by any of the BO members (except maybe Gin). Therefore, apart from the files the BO would have kept on Shiho and her role in the organisation, that’s all Rei had to learn about her. So, I can’t really blame him for choosing to hand her back to the organisation.

Some people who are still in denial, argue that if he planned to kill Shiho, why was he willing to kill whom he thought was Vermouth instead of handing her over?

Shouldn’t that prove he was going to take Shiho to safety to the PSB, not the BO? Before Gosho's statement, I would have agreed but now...sigh. Now, I get why he did that. If Shiho were to die BEFORE she was returned to the organisation, he wouldn’t have gained the trust he was seeking. If she were to die AFTER he delivered her, I highly doubt it would have mattered to him. Although I'm still hoping he maybe he had a plan of not leaving her in the organisation's clutches after "handing her back" and he never truly intended on getting her killed. But since Gosho also said there was no need to deceive Vermouth, I highly doubt it. (Heart breaking).

After such an explanation, does everything make more sense now? Maybe. Am I ok with it? Hell no! I’m quite angry and annoyed that this is how things turned out to be, but it is what it is. We have to accept that Rei is not a good character, and he's not a bad character. He's a grey character and when you think of it that way, it's easier to understand his behaviour. Not that I agree with it. After Gosho's statement, I think pretty sure Rei is in dire need of some character development. He could stand to learn a thing or two from Conan who manages to reach his goals while preserving as many lives as possible (Akai's fake death being the burst example while managing to drive Kir back to the BO).

For now, I’m looking forward to the developments that will entail. I’m curious to see how Rei and Haibara will react once they eventually meet each other. It'll be interesting to see what will go through his mind once he figures out her true identity. One thing I'm sure of is once they're introduced to each other, emotions will be running high and things will get intense. Which honestly, I can't wait for and I'm counting down the days till I get a proper Amuro/Haibara interaction.

#shiho miyano #miyano shiho #haibara ai #ai haibara #sherry #furuya rei #rei furuya #tooru amuro #amuro tooru #bourbon #dcmk #case closed #detective conan #Detective Conan #elena miyano #miyano elena #vermouth

86 notes · View notes

lanland04moure · 3 years

Text

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ⁵ ] αlтєяηαтινє ƒιηαl

Very long text, the end of a series

1 2 3 4

we тaĸe ιт ғroм нere;

The door burst open giving way to the rushing sounds caused by the boys entering the room. I took a seat on the bed and they were all there.

Taehyun was the first to speak.

—They've found them. They've been put to safety.— He paused unnecessarily, should I celebrate? You were safe now.

—Yeonjun was not with them.— Soobin's words broke my heart again.

•×•

I woke up, not sure what was going on, without moving I managed to look around, the building collapsed on top of us. Could we die here, would they find us?

I have no idea how much time has passed or if they are even looking for us. I try to stand up. But a great pain in my left shoulder stops me.

It hurts a lot.

I don't remember where I am in the building and it's killing me that I left those girls alone and now we are in this situation. I try again, this time slower. Pain travels up and down my back but this time I don't stop.

I glance around again and remember that it was just that that got me into this mess.

A column. A column was what kept me from being crushed to death. I see no way out, everything is collapsed, I'm trapped.

I need to get out, I need to get out of here, I need you.

I move around the place looking for a way out. There must be a way, there must be a way out.

Please wait, I'm on my way to you.

•×•

We left the apartment immersed in a silence that was not normal for us. Especially the guys.

We were all willing to check on our own if it was true that you were not among those who were rescued.

Because if it was true, if you were not there, where were you? Where did you go?

I needed to convince the rescuers to look some more.

Please hang in there!

The rescue teams are already leaving the site by the time we arrive. It's over for them. They found most of the victims, that's all that matters to them.

For them the testimonies of these girls who claim that you saved them were not enough. I see them crying, I see them begging you to continue the search. They cry for you, they are worried about you. And that's enough for me to take their word for it.

But they don't really care.

They insist, they claim that you are there, they claim that it was you who saved their lives.

Where are you Choi Yeonjun?

I don't want to give you up for lost. I don't want to think that I have lost you. I don't want to get the idea that I lost you.

If they don't look for you, I will. I'm going to get you out of there.

I made sure that no one was watching me, that everyone was distracted so I could sneak through the concrete debris. Not far from where I was entering, the television stations were interviewing the rescued women.

A group of trainees and stylists from the agency.

They asked them the same questions, made them repeat their story over and over again. But they still didn't believe a word of it.

But I do, I really believe them.

My heart knows they are not lying. Whatever happens I will rescue you.

"He was there, I can swear it. He was the one who saved our lives".

"He saved us, he was willing to give his life for ours."

"I owe him my life, that's why I refuse to end the search. He is out there somewhere."

Once upstairs I heard my name being called. I didn't turn around though. Nothing would stop me. I would get to you.

But Kai's screams were getting louder and louder. Which would draw attention. I had to be quick, I had to keep them from reaching me.

—Noona what are you doing? Noona you're going to hurt yourself!— Seeing that I wasn't going to stop Heuning carefully climbed up after me. All the while wailing.—My hyungs are going to be upset.—

—Noona is going to get hurt, but she doesn't care.—

—Soobin Hyung is going to lose his mind when he notices Noona is gone.— Lost in his words we made it to the top of that huge concrete mountain, there were so many places to start looking.

You could be anywhere. They swear you helped them so we have to find you.

We can't give up.

We split up and started moving and searching through the rocks. We will find you, don't worry.

After about 20 minutes a distant scream caught my attention.

They were calling me, was it you? I stood still with the intention of listening clearly. But it wasn't you and it wasn't just me they were looking for.

The boys had already noticed our absence.

I tried to ignore them, tried to silence them in my mind. But I found it impossible the boys were insistent and I knew Kai wouldn't ignore them.

—Min where are you?—

—Heuningkai where did you go?—

—Hyuka!!!—

—Min!!!—

I still continued my search. If the rescuers quit, we wouldn't. At least I haven't

—Huyng!!! Hyung!!!—

—Heuning damn it! What are you doing up there?—Beomgyu's shout echoed through the place.

—I went up following Noona.—

—What?!!! MIN IS UP THERE?!!!—The unmistakable voice of Soobin reached my ears. After his shout all was silence again.

I continued my search, the concrete pieces were heavy, too heavy to tell the truth. But it didn't matter because I just wanted to get to your side.

I felt in my heart something that told me we were close. We were close to you. I leaned down again to move another rock when something abruptly brought me back to my full height.

—Are you crazy? What do you think you can do up here alone? You're only going to hurt yourself!—he was clearly angry and about to lose his mind.

•×•

I was worried about you, how ironic isn't it? I'm the one at risk of being buried to death, but I still can't be selfish, I can't think only of myself. Every minute here I was flooded with worry about how you were doing.

The more time passed, the more it became a torture to keep my eyes open for long periods of time. I was resigned to the fact that I would never get out of here.

Time seemed to move so slowly that it made me think about the probability that maybe I was already dead, but it was not possible, how did I know?

Because of the pain. I once heard that it was pain that made us human or something like that. Because of that and the immense pain that spread through my body I knew I was still alive.

But what I wasn't sure yet was if I would still be alive to remind you how much I love you.

What did we do to deserve this, is it some kind of lesson to make you value what you have and those who are with you, is it some kind of punishment? Thousands of questions come to me in the moment, but so does your image.

Your smile.

It was your smile that made me fix my eyes on you, did I ever tell you that?

Your smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and of course it still is. That was the first time I saw you.

It was right after our debut.

Soobin was very tired and looked sick, but he wouldn't admit it. One day just like that you appeared in our practice room, carrying some lunch boxes with you.

Beomgyu immediately stood up to help you and Soobin pulled you to him in a tight embrace. His face and yours glowed with happiness as you were in each other's arms. And something stirred inside me.

It turned out that you brought some snacks for everyone, soobin bragged that you were the best cook. I can't deny it, your food was delicious.

Remembering that day I had an immense craving for that rich food that was your favorite, something typical of your city. Some time later it became mine too.

•×•

One by one each of the boys came up behind us.

Soobin was still upset, but I knew he would help us, he would support us. We would find you, we would.

We basically split into groups so we could move the rocks. About 20 minutes passed and there was definitely no trace of you.

Come on Jun, you can't do this to us.

Time went by and little by little more people joined our search. The girls you rescued, agency staff. Even MOA was coming from different parts of the city to help us find you, we all wanted you back.

The authorities were completely opposed to what we were doing, because there was a possibility that someone would suffer some kind of injury. But we didn't care.

More MOA's slowly arrived to help. Girls who had taken a train, or taken a plane ride to help find their idol. I would love for you to see the love everyone is showing you right now.

Why wouldn't we let you, wouldn't we.

The newsreels were all about filming us. They were broadcasting us for hours, broadcasting as much as they could of our search work.

In the headline you could clearly read ;

THEY ARE THOSE WHO STILL HAVE HOPE

And boy, did we have hope.

No one was giving up. We are fighting for you. Hours went by, endless hours in the sun. And now I was really losing hope. We had moved tons of debris and nothing to show for it.

Should we resign ourselves?

I took a moment. A moment to admire all these people who took the risk of joining our search. What will happen will happen. Whether we found you or not, I was going to be eternally grateful for it. Maybe it was time to take a break. Or maybe it was time to give up and stop.

The sun was killing me.

The heat was intense and the glint of something was burning in my eyes. I covered them for a moment, it was bugging me.

Where was it coming from?

I slowly withdrew my hand and looked around for it. I couldn't believe it. It had to be. It had to be. It was your watch.

Your watch was barely peeking through the rubble.

—It's here, it's here."—

•×•

The more time passed the stronger the pressure I felt.

My heart ached so much, I ached so much from how much I missed you and the fear I felt about leaving you alone. I was desperate to get out. To come back to you.

My body slowly stopped responding, maybe because I was tired. Maybe because of the hunger I felt or maybe because of how damaged and hurt it was.

And just now that he was so close to freedom. It was a matter of minutes, a matter of moving a few more rocks. But it was impossible, I reached my limit. I saw the light, I saw the light of my freedom but everything went black.

I wish I could turn back time and not fight with you. Or failing that take Soobin's advice and stay with you the whole day.

•×•

Taehyun ran beside me as soon as he heard my screams.

We had finally found you!

In a matter of seconds there were dozens of hands moving and throwing the rocks in the area where you were. All treading cautiously but in a hurry to get you out of there as soon as possible.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was praying to God that you would be okay, that he wouldn't take you away from me. When we finally managed to get you out of that place, the paramedics snatched you from our arms.

They did not allow us to see you, they immediately transferred you to the nearest hospital, they had to make sure you were okay, that you were not hurt in any way.

I don't know how long we spent in the waiting room of that hospital, they didn't allow us to see you, they didn't want to give us any report.

We didn't know anything.

Was it so serious?

Doctors came in and out of your room non-stop, but they kept ignoring our pleas for information, it got to the point where they forbade the nurses to come near us.

And just like that, one day when we were still waiting for some details about your health condition, this girl came up to us.

It was a nurse, she asked me to accompany her, without hesitation I went after her.

She would take me to you.

You had woken up, after a week, you had woken up and the first thing you did was to ask for me.

•×•

I woke up once again.

I was alone and without further ado I began to remember everything I had experienced being trapped in the building.

A nurse came into the room, not once did she look at me.

—Park Min, I need to see Park Min.— The nurse left the room without giving me a word or even a small glance. Time marched on, but nothing was happening.

Or so I thought, because within seconds after my thought the door to the room opened again.

But this time it showed me someone totally different. This time it was your beautiful eyes peering out from the other side of that door.

You crept in. Neither of us uttered a word. Then you threw yourself weakly onto the gurney crying and with what little strength I had I clung to you even tighter.

I was afraid that we would be separated again. And now we would not be able to find our way back like this time.

—All the time I was so worried about you.—

—Why? It was you who was stuck in that place, you should have left that for us. I was so scared I'd never see you again, that we'd get separated like that after that stupid fight.—

—I was worried about getting to leave you alone, I knew you'd be scared and I was so mad at me for turning down that dinner the other night.—

—That's in the past, let's try to forget about it. We're here together now.—

—Please never forget how much I love you.—

#yeonjun x reader #yeonjun txt #txt #txt imagines #txt oneshots #tomorrow x together #txt drabbles #txt scenarios #choi yeonjun #txt yeonjun #txt choi yeonjun #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun oneshot #yeonjun drabbles #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun #yeonjun tomorrow x together #yeonjun x you

17 notes · View notes

sxfik · 3 years

Text

darling, you're the one i want

chapter one | two | three ....

read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist

summary: Kang Sol A was never known for her luck, but she suspected it to be more like a curse when after almost 5 years, she bumps into her rival and the bane of her existence: Attorney Han Joon Hwi. What's worse? She has to work with him and she's sure that she'll either kill him or kiss him before this is all over

After Kang Sol B was freed from the clutched of her mother, her new found freedom spurred her into a night in bed with the mysterious Ji Ho. Yet, when he walks into her office the next day, she is faced with the realization that she is now working with the same man she slept with. What's worse? He's insufferable and she just might have to kiss him to shut him up.

a/n: hello hello! it's been almost a month since i've written a fic and probably even more time since i've truly been active on here. this fic is a product of me, @akinosakiya, @am-bi-vert and @thenerdywriter creating 20 different threads on twitter about an idea (which eventually got turned into a whole group chat just for hc and fic ideas). truly this fic is dedicated to all of them, the hanguk law school gc on tumblr and twitter. this fic is multi-chapter and written from 6 povs (basically it will be pretty long). as always, enjoy!

KANG SOL A was not known for her luck. Maybe it was a curse, or maybe just her destiny to be unlucky in life. She was irrevocably late this morning, despite setting 6 alarms and taking extra care the night before to ensure everything was in order before she left. But of course, in classic Sol A fashion, she was late despite every effort.

She was greeted with the shining sun and chirping birds as she speed walked towards her office building, her hair slightly disheveled in the breeze. Her hand clutched her briefcase as she speed walked towards the office, her lanyard swaying as she moved with purpose.

It had been almost 2 years since she started working for Kang's Toy Co. and 3 years since she graduated from Hanguk Law school. Life had been a rollercoaster since then, an endless ride of ups and downs as she tried to stabilize herself into her new life. She had clawed her way up from the struggle of her 1L year, getting to be an expert on late nights and sleep deprivation. Nonetheless, she graduated with an offer set up at Attorney Park's office which kickstarted her career and her life.

She'd be lying if she said everything was smooth from then on; it was quite the opposite. Just like she predicted, she had to take clients that she disliked and didn't trust, but when you were trying to make rent and put food on the table, it didn't matter. Luckily, she never had to compromise her beliefs too much during those years, and she was able to build her reputation as a trustable and hardworking lawyer in the community.

Soon enough, she was taking on higher profile clients, and gifted with the ability of being picky about who she defended. All of a sudden she was going to events and mingling with the upper class of Seoul. What was a poor girl, raised by a single mother, doing in such a ornate hall, sipping champagne that was worth more than anything she'd ever owned. Yet, those very same events led her to her name twin, Kang Sol B.

Kang Sol B, clean cut and straightforward, was one of her closest friends and CEO of the company she worked for. They met by chance at an event, after a particularly successful case, and somehow, the two women who were so unlike each other, hit it off. They ran into each other by chance again and they met for drinks. Sol B's level-headed, confident attitude balanced her energetic, eager mind. Not to mention, she fit right in with Ye-Seul and her dynamic, the three being thick as thieves. Soon enough, Sol was offered a job at her company as a corporate lawyer and she jumped on the chance at working with her. The rest was, as they say, history.

Shaking off her thoughts, her legs propelled her forward, her vision almost hazy and her mind clouded with the need to rush, rush, rush. The morning was particularly busy, with so many employees rushing into work and walking in their own world. Still, today was especially important as the company is announcing a joint enterprise between two of the biggest toy companies in Seoul. She picked up her pace, nearing the entrance, when, in her frenzy, she crashed into the oncoming figure.

"I'm so—"

"Sorry!"

Her head shot up, her eyes widening at the familiar voice. And there he stood, in all his glory, Han Joon Hwi: Second Round Judicial Exam Passer, and the bane of her existence.

She had the unfortunate luck of meeting Joon Hwi during their 1L, during a particularly intense class where she was grilled to death by her professor. The actual ordeal was a haze, all she could remember was her throat tightening and instant panic flooding her mind and body. Joon hwi, thinking himself some kind of knight-in-shining armor, swooped in to save her, answering in her stead.

And then, he decided to rival her during one of their constitutional code classes, arguing in favor of a law that was, in her mind, despicable. "You have to look at it in perspective," he coolly replied to her smoldering anger when she questioned him on how he could support such a thing. It was set in stone, then, that Kang Sol A did not like Han Joon Hwi.

From the moment they met, it was like he was specifically designed to drive her crazy. The way he smirked, the way his whip smart comebacks would leave her stumped, the way his arms filled out that stupid white shirt, the way he'd look at her like he could see right through her. Just about everything about him made her want to scream.

Dislike was an understatement when it came to Joon Hwi. It was more like a never ending annoyance, his presence and every move frustrating her, making her lungs tight and her heart race with exasperation and irritation.

She was nicknamed Lady Justice, after a particular comment from Joon Hwi himself. If it was to shame her, it clearly didn't work as it only fueled her headstrong attitude. In fact, it spurred her into more arguments with the illustrious Joon Hwi, the temperature constantly rising as they would circle each other and argue until their lungs burned and they were breathing heavy. The whole school would gather to see them spar, the tension so thick that they wouldn't notice the crowd they would draw as soon as the two would even look at each other.

He was the genius of her school, that much she couldn't deny. Still, the what he said about her in their final year...

His hand gripped her wrist, startling her out of her thoughts in an attempt to support her, and his warm touch seared into her cold skin as he pulled her up slightly. Joon Hwi blinked back at her, his face shocked before settling into a familiar smirk that drove her up the wall.

"Long time no see, huh, Lady Justice?" his eyebrow quirked up slightly as he took her in, and the scowl settled into her face. Like this day could have gotten any worse, it was just her luck to meet him.

"Not quite long enough, Attorney Han," she quipped back, snapping her arm away from his grip. She blew out a soft breath, in an attempt to get her bangs out of her eyes to face him properly. He continued to look down at her, his eyes never leaving her face as he chuckled in response.

He didn't look any different than he did 3 years ago, except that his shoulders had grown broader, his chest a little firmer. He wore a black coat, and underneath, his signature black suit that he had worn during his internships during school. His hair was styled differently, now styled up rather than down in bangs that used to give him an innocent look back in their law school years. It suited him.

"So, you work for Kang now?" he asked her, rushing forward to catch up with her fast pace. Her hand gripped tighter on her bag as she picked up her pace, trying her best to not let his sudden presence taint her morning.

"No, I'm definitely just walking towards the building with the large sign that says KANG TOY CO. for absolutely no reason," she replied, her voice laced with impatience.

"You haven't changed one bit, Kang Sol," he laughed, tilting his head forward, blinking and looking at her as if he knew something she didn't.

She paused in her tracks, looking up to the man who scrambled to turn to face her. "Why are you here, Joon Hwi?" she asked him, suspicious of his sudden presence.

He raised an eyebrow in response, and she could feel the irritation build in her chest as she looked up at him, impossibly confused. They stayed in place, their feet glued to the pavement and she forgot all about her earlier mission to get to her office asap. His face hadn't changed too much from their school days, his expression overflowing with mirth and mischief. But his face did hold a tiredness that wasn't seen before, as if the time has taken a toll on him. What happened to you, Han Joon Hwi, for your face to hold exhaustion that was never seen before?

"You'll find out," he replied curtly, before spinning back and walking towards the building. Her office building. She rushed forward now, trying to catch up with him as she looked up curiously, but he avoided her looks as they walked into the office.

They marched on in, flashing her badge at the entrance of the office, and Joon hwi, somehow, managed to follow. Did he start working here and never let her know? Does he even work as a lawyer? How could she not know? She let out a deep breath, trying to calm her racing mind as she walked into the elevator, and he marched in right by her side.

People filed in one after the other into the elevator, everyone in their morning rush to get to their cubicles and start their days. The elevators was filled to the brim, yet Kang Sol was still aware of Joon Hwi's presence, almost like her mind was blaring an alarm that He wasn't supposed to be here.

She momentarily shut her brain off, a task that she trained herself on after her struggles in her 1L, choosing to focus on the people milling around the elevator. Her eyes would flit through every person, and then the ceiling, and most importantly, she refused to let her mind stray to Han Joon Hwi, despite the curiosity eating her from the inside out.

The elevator was next to empty when she reached her floor, and she picked up her pace as she marched out of the elevator before he could. Sol kept her gaze trained ahead, but her body was feeling for the presence of someone else marching behind her.

Somehow, he managed to get ahead, probably with those stupidly long legs of his. His hand jutted out to open the door to the meeting room, and he paused, turning slightly towards her.

"Ladies first," he said, his expression almost neutral. If it wasn't for the slight crinkle near his eyes as he smiled, she would have taken the gesture as genuine and not intended to mock her. The gesture morphed from chivalry to a taunt that he knew something she didn't.

"Thank you, Attorney Han," she shot him a tight smile, before marching her way towards her teammates.

Ye-seul, her best friend and fellow lawyer, caught Sol's gaze and patted to the seat next to her and finally, Sol sank down into her chair, letting out a final sigh of relief.

"You're only a couple minutes late, the director isn't here yet," she said, taking a sip from her hot coffee. Ye-seul narrowed her eyes at her, and then looked up at Joon Hwi, before looking back down at her.

"Oh thank god," Sol, opened up her briefcase, getting out one of her legal pads and a pen incase she needed to take notes, as she expertly avoided her best friend's questioning gaze. The silence between them stretched, as Sol tapped her pen against the paper impatiently and Ye-seul let her gaze bore into her.

"Why was Han Joon–"

"Good morning," the baritone voice of Director Yang boomed across the meeting room, his voice loud despite the lack of a microphone. "Let's go through this meeting smoothly, as it is a very important day for both Kang Toy Co and Seo Media. Today, we have gathered to announce a collaboration for a toy line between both companies."

Applause filled the room as the director paused, looking at each team assembled in the room. Oh. So that's why Han Joon Hwi is here.

"As such, we will be needing our talented lawyer teams from both companies to help draw the legal terms and details between the two companies, as well as negotiate the terms for the toy line itself. This is an exciting time for both companies and we hope that this partnership is fruitful for both parties. Now, I will be announcing the teams and their assignments for this coming quarter and in preparation for the toy line itself," he paused, flipping through the notes he held at the center of the room.

"I'm proud to announce that Attorney Kang Sol and Team One from Kang Toys will be working with Attorney Han Joon Hwi and Team One from Seo Media." Sol's eyes shot up to Joon hwi, both their eyes wide with surprise. "Your teams will be heading the terms of the collaboration as well as working closely with both CEOs for any legal issues that come up," Director Yang nodded to both parties, before continuing down his list.

Her eyes were still on his, her mouth close to gaping open before she quickly shut it and avoided his gaze. Out of all the people, it had to be her that was paired up with him.

Kang Sol A had bad luck, indeed, but she was starting to think it was more like a curse instead.

#mine #solhwi #law school #jtbc drama #jtbc law school #law school jtbc #law school netflix #law school kdrama #kang sol a #kang sol b #han joon hwi #seo ji ho #jeon ye seul #min bok gi #jo ye beom #jtbc #fanfiction #my fanfiction #my writing

26 notes · View notes

letsdiscoverkitty · 3 years

Text

"Life" Update - May 2021

This is the last of the three updates I have to post at the moment. If anyone actually reads these, especially in one go, you really do deserve a medal and I have no idea what I have done to deserve your kindness and support but THANK YOU SO MUCH (to all of you who are here, you are all truly wonderful and amazing) Okay, let's get going....

I suppose the title is a bit, well, overkill. To say that anyone has been had any sort of "life" over the past year would be a huge misuse of the word. The global pandemic has, quite literally, turned life upside down for the vast majority of people and I know that lockdowns, especially in the UK, have meant that anything other than what was deemed "essential" has been off the cards, which has hit us all hard.

I personally found it quite difficult whilst I was in hospital as although on the one hand it was good to know that there wasn't much that you were missing out on whilst locked on a ward with 15 minutes fresh air (if you were lucky), it did make it hard to find/hold onto motivation at times. Coupled with the fear of how my dad's condition would progress, whether he would make it and what sort of home life I would be going back to; the world suddenly felt even noisier than it had before (which I didn't think was really possible). The situation seemed to further heighten my fears as well as add to them. I found my mind was swamped with so many questions and fears, to then be asked about my future/what I wanted to do with my life (that classic question) and what my motivations were to get better, was too much. I fell blank.

I had completely lost myself and any shed of hope that was left inside of me. I tried to put on a smile; paint a different picture to the outside world but inside I was dark. I was hollow. I was empty.

What was the point? You never know what is waiting around the corner; everything can turn upside down overnight. What kind of 'life' would there be going back to anyway? Would it be possible to go to University anymore or would there still be multiple restrictions in place? would that make the huge financial costs worth it? What sort of society will we be coming out of the pandemic anyway? Will we even come out of this? Will people ever go back to offices again? Will we be able to see friends soon or go out to places? What about travelling? Fun? LIFE?

I found depression swamped me more than ever after dad's accident. I was trying to hold myself together for mum but I was losing all hope of anything ever being 'the same' or 'okay' again. In the end, the only reason I accepted the admission was for mum - I wanted to be able to support her with dad in hospital and us not know what the future held; as much as I wished I could be there all the time, I knew in the state I was that I couldn't. Initially I was told the admission would be a short one, that I could then go back home to support my mum through the family trauma...but that 4 weeks soon turned into over 8 months, which I still can't believe.

Gosh, I am sorry, I seem to have got a little distracted. This was meant to be the POSITIVE update. So let's get to those bits...

NEWS ONE: I HAVE A JOB (starting in Sept)

So whilst in hospital my consultant kept trying to get me to think about what I wanted to do with my life (just the small questions you know *lol*) - in her eyes she thought it would be risky to go back to University to do neuroscience/a degree so intense, and that instead I should think about doing something more creative, taking small steps to get a part time job and then go from there - which, as much as I hated to admit, I agreed with. However after one particularly bad run-in with the nutritionist when she decided to tell me that she didn't think I could achieve a life beyond Anorexia (it must have been mid-way-ish through my admission) blah blah blah (I get that she could have been trying to motivate me but there is a way to go about it and then there are ways to really not go about it and she chose the latter). Anyway, I was rather angry/mad and ended up doing basically trying to prove everyone wrong and started doing some research into my different options...

Long story short: I ended up applying to a degree apprenticeship scheme in business management...I've never really considered something like this before, perhaps partially because at school they drilled into me that business was a "soft" subject as it would not be looked upon very highly for Oxbridge applications *rolls eyes*. Thankfully I did a lot of research into Degree Apprenticeships a few years ago so I knew where to look online. Anyway, back to this application. I ended up going through the process/tests, somehow managing to make it through the initial online stages, then just before I was discharged I was invited to a online interview!

I only had a few days to do the interview before it timed out so I actually ended up doing it In the end the day after I was discharged (not ideal) and I was convinced that I had messed it up as it was one of those ones where you get shown the question for around 30 seconds before being given 2 minutes to respond - i.e. stress.pressure.anxiety.stumbling over words. HORRENDOUS.

I somehow passed the interview and the reviews before being invited to an online assessment centre in Feb, which spanned a whole day and included multiple interviews (the first was a strengths based interview with 2 interviewers for just over an hour - yuck!!!) as well as a presentation which we were given 24hrs in advance to prepare for (we were given 4 'topics'/questions and had to answer all of them in a 15 minute window using aids if we chose to, again to 2 (different) interviewers before having a 45 minute further interview - double yuck!)

Dare I say that I actually enjoyed the preparation for the presentation and the interviews?! It was so nice to have a focus and something to be working on that I was actually really beginning to connect with/want/see myself doing. The interviews and presentation themselves? HORRIBLE but the process reignited something within me. After the assessment centre day we were told it could be 7-10 working days to hear back from them - waiting for anything like this is just the worst so I wasn't looking forward to it and tried not to get my hopes up as these schemes are ridiculously hard to get into... Well, I got the call the next day saying that they were so impressed and out of something like 14,000 applications, I was offered one of the spaces on the scheme!! - I honestly still can't believe it and imposter syndrome is v real -

I know at the beginning of this I sounded very blase about the whole thing but as I progressed through the process, as I read more about the scheme and the business and what it would entail, the more I began to get excited. The more I realised how interesting it was and what an amazing opportunity it would be for me.

Despite this, I was also at the time, finishing up yet another an application to University (for the millionth time, I swear I must be a pro at these personal statements by now) this time for psychology and behavioural studies. This was before I got the offer of the degree apprenticeship scheme, which I knew was a long shot with only a handful of places given for thousands of applicants, so I felt I had to keep my options open (Neuro is still an area of fascination to me but not so much with the INTENSE LEVEL of physiology and pharmacology that I was doing at Bristol. Yes bits of it were good and interesting but that degree was ridiculous and, again, I felt far more drawn towards the behavioural studies and psychology when researching into Universities). I ended up getting 3 offers, 1 interview for Cambridge and 1 rejection (ironically from Bristol, even with my recommendation/support being from my previous personal tutor at Bristol!) - so I suddenly had options. And then the offer from the degree apprenticeship came through and there were even more options to choose from.

It honestly felt so surreal (and still does).

In the end, after a lot of thinking and debating and researching and talking, I decided to withdraw my University application and I accepted the degree apprenticeship role. Overall it is such an incredible opportunity that I knew I couldn't turn down, whereas University will always be there. I am actually getting a little excited about it (as well as extremely nervous, but I must say that the company has made a really positive/good impression thus far, even as far as creating MH podcasts with a psychologist for us and offering things like zoom baking sessions!).

So what is this degree apprenticeship? In short, it is a 3 year course during which I will have a Monday to Friday job at the company (for which the office is actually commutable from home - it is about 1hrs drive, which is not the best but it does mean that I can stay at home for at least the first year and there is a train I could get if I was too tired to do the drive all the time. As much as staying at home is not my long term plan it might help with the transition back to work/education to have a bit of stability and the support). During the first 2 years at the company we do four separate 6 month rotations in different areas to get lots of experience (marketing, supply chain, sales etc) whilst in the final year you get to put in a preference for where you would like to work for the year long placement. During this, every 6 or 7 weeks, we have to spend a week at University (which is not in commutable distance at all so the the company pays for our accommodation, travel and food during this time). As far as I have been told, we also get time during the working week allocated to do Uni work as well as our standard 'desk' jobs. Oh and not to mention one of the biggest sellers for degree apprenticeships....the company is basically sponsoring you so pays ALL of your tuition fees PLUS a basic salary! This means that you come out, in this case, with a Chartered business management degree, 3 years of hands-on work experience, as well as you being pretty much guaranteed a job within the company AND no student debt!!! How incredible is that? PLUS one big perk of the job is that they allow dogs in the office - I mean how could I say no to that?!!!!

So yes, by some magical miracle I actually have a job lined up for September! It still doesn't feel real and I am yet to fully process it. They don't know how it will be affected by COVID but the company did continue the programme last year (unlike some that postponed) so fingers crossed all should be going ahead. I have 'met' the other 4(?) who are on the scheme at my office as well and they seem lovely (including one other person who is my age/slightly older - which was such a relief as I was worried about it being only people just out of college).

I realise that it is going to be tough, I do not underestimate that at all, but I couldn't let anorexia still yet ANOTHER life milestone and opportunity away from me. There was a lot of questioning as to whether I should take it or not; I went back and forth between many spreadsheets that I made but I think this opportunity far outweighs going back to University. I have tried that route twice already and had to leave because of everything/haven't really coped (I think in some ways, being at Uni there is TOO MUCH free time and it allowed my perfectionism to run riot as I always felt like I was 'behind' in one way or another?). And that is not to mention that if I was going back to University, I would need to spend another 3-4 years studying, I would leave with little work experience or job in mind at the age of 29/30 with a mountain of debt.... And as I said before, I can always go back to University if I want to in the future/re train if I decide to, but this opportunity with a global company, well, this will never ever come my way again.

So yes that is my BIG BIG news. But I also have one more bit of news....

I'm getting a kitten. Yes, A KITTEN!!!!! I have so much more to say on this but for now you will have to wait and see. Photos will come when SHE does (a couple of weeks now)!!!

#personal #update #long #sorry I am no good at writing short posts anymore #well I never was #but this is my big news #TWO BITS OF BIG NEWS #ive still been baking and crocheting #and have taken up some gardening #and just generally trying to muddle through each day to be honest with you

36 notes · View notes

jasontoddiefor · 4 years

Note

How often would Dai Bendu be used with the Jedi? For example, a child raised in the Temple from infancy, would Dai Bendu be their first language? And, from what it sounds like in your series, almost every Jedi is at least bilingual with Dai Bendu and Basic (with some, like Anakin, being able to speak more languages as well). Would books written by Jedi, for Jedi, be in Dai Bendu or Basic? Do non-Jedi ever try to learn Dai Bendu? Sorry if this is a lot of questions, I just find this fascinating.

First off: @ghostwriterofthemachine and I were DELIGHTED to get this ask! Feel free to ask us as many questions as you want, though might we direct you towards our very nerdy @dai-bendu-conlang blog? :D

1. How often would Dai Bendu be used with the Jedi?

In our universe, Dai Bendu is the first or second language of the Jedi. This is what is spoken within the temple. It has… interesting consequences on accents when it comes to younglings learning Basic later, such as Obi-Wan speaking with a posh High Coruscanti Basic accent, having learnt it from a Jedi who had been on Senate duty way too long. So generally speaking, it’s used all the time. If you want to do your own spin on it, @alabasterswriting‘s Men of Power uses it more ceremonially - so go ahead!

2. Bilinguality

All Jedi are bilingual at minimum, likely polyglots. They are peacekeepers and diplomats and it’s always better if you can speak in the language of the people you are trying to communicate with. Additionally, you also have Jedi who physically can’t speak Basic or Dai Bendu - think of Wookies! So the rest of them would need to be able to at least understand them. Also, children brought to the temple late enough that they already learned a language other than basic — Aalya and Rly, for instance — continue to learn/speak in/be exposed to that language. In regards to their own works, they’d likely be written in Dai Bendu. We may have, uh, thought very intensely about in-universe philosophical writings on linguistics. That may have been part of the reason we started the language, because talking about concepts that only exist in another language is fun!!

Anakin specifically was a special case, as part of the reason he was labeled a prodigy when he began training was because of how fast he picked up on this language. Dai Bendu is notoriously difficult to learn at later ages. Which brings us to…

3. Non-Jedi learning Dai Bendu

Some have definitely tried! The language itself isn’t that tricky on a grammatical level, the problem is more that a lot of words and grammatical constructions expect the speaker and listener to both be Force-sensitive to understand what they are saying. Let’s take one of our tenses for example. We have a tense to talk about visions, marked with the ending -lo. The verb sol- means “to yield”. In present tense, that’s solah. Now, if you had a vision and want to talk about that, you’d say “Sollo foh” which translates to “In my vision, I yield”. This concept is quite difficult to grasp because it’s tied to the idea of having visions and that being a thing that’s taken seriously and being talked about. Now imagine a language full of that. We also have, for instance, three separate words for “dark” — physical darkness, darkness in the Force, and darkness in the Force which is specific to the Sith. This leads to some very fun misunderstandings, such as a very gung-ho clone trooper trying to say that he thinks this mission needs night vision, and accidentally implying he thinks Dooku is there.

As outsiders and writers, we can add long translation notes at the end of our works to explain what exactly our characters are saying and why - in universe, this becomes difficult to grasp. People have probably picked up on it regardless.

We decided that Palpatine, for example, would be very interested in learning Dai Bendu, but Dooku steadfast refuses to teach him this. He tries to get it out of Anakin as well, but pre-Vader he’s kinda oblivious about it (and has I-Am-A-Natural-And-Therefore-A-Bad-Language-Teacher syndrome), and post-Vader he straight up refuses to speak the language at all (which. Angst). Padmé would probably pick up some words from Anakin. Various troopers/members of the GAR probably pick up on some things, too.

#ask #star wars #conlang #dai bendu #anon

147 notes · View notes

wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 4 years

Text

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon:

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life:

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain.

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds:

This show unique because it meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer:

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

#kdrama recommendations #lawless lawyer #healer #w two worlds #are you human too #her private life #strong woman do bong soon #crash landing on you #kdrama recs for cam #my kdrama recs

201 notes · View notes

beastars-takes · 4 years

Text

Zootopia Takes: The Power of Really Liking Each Other

Our main event, Beastars Takes, will resume soon, but in the meantime I want to talk about one of my favorite movie relationships:

Has this been talked about to death by other people? Yes. But this is my blog and I write it for free so I can do what I want.

Note: this is not a shipping post--this is just an examination of their canonical relationship in the movie and why it rules.

At first glance, this is your typical enemies-to-friends story. I love those. But while the typical arc tends to involve two characters who can’t stand each other, who eventually develop a grudging respect for one another (often through some kind of shared ordeal) and maybe thaw into actual friendliness at the end. Zootopia packs all of that into the first half--by the midway point they are clearly not just allies, but friends, and by the end of the film they’re inseparable.

It’s important to recognize this isn’t just for the hell of it, or just to be cute--the closeness and trust they build is the linchpin of their success in the final moments of the movie.

All the reasons why, after the jump.

Something I talked about in the previous post was the messaging of Zootopia, and I don’t want to rehash it too much here. It’s a movie about prejudice, and the work it takes to overcome it. A key theme (one that it shares with Beastars, incidentally) is that friendships with those who are different from you are hard--but they are worth it.

Part 1: They Hate Each Other! (Right?)

Now...it goes without saying that when these two first meet, they bounce off each other hard. Each is seeing the other at their absolute worst.

Judy can’t stand Nick because he takes every bit of optimism she has about this world and throws it back in her face. She want to use him as a prop in her vision of an equal society, where “not all foxes” are crooks. He laughs at her. He humiliates her. All he has to do is walk away, but he takes his time. He twists the knife.

For his part, Nick sees a laughably ineffectual bunny who condescends to him and threatens him with jail for the crime of...humiliating her. She may not personally be a threat to him, but she wields the institutional power of the ZPD--a power he has plenty of reason to be afraid of--and she does it irresponsibly.

On first viewing, Nick inarguably wins this exchange. He avoids arrest, reads her to absolute filth and leaves her stuck in cement.

And he makes her really sad. Nice!

But, and I don’t pretend to be the first person to have pointed this out, on second viewing it’s obvious he can guess her story so well because it’s basically his story. The only difference, in his mind, is that he’s accepted the reality that he’ll never be allowed to live the life he wants, while she is still vainly pursuing hers.

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but the people I’ve met who have always most pissed me off are the people who remind me of things I hate about myself. The people who seem to embody the flaws I’ve worked to minimize. Nick’s naive hope is what has brought him the most pain in his life. He sees this bunny full of the same naive hope, surmises that she’s facing the same failures he did and yet stubbornly refusing to learn from them. It’s irritating.

Pictured: irritation.

Maybe I am projecting, but if Nick is anything like me, he probably didn’t walk away entirely happy from this exchange. Yes, he “won,” but he was also reminded of everything about himself that he least wanted to think about.

Part 2: They Are Not Very Good at Hating Each Other

So, the thing about Judy is, she is naive. By default, she assumes people are her friend. But she’s not stupid.

Nick assumes she is stupid, not least because she hasn’t wisely given up on her dreams like he has, and...he learns that she maybe not so fun to pick on after all.

So they wind up doing the first part of this enemies-to-friends routine, allies of necessity.

So, naturally, because he is Him, he makes it his mission to torment her.

In fact, we get two whole scenes where all he does he does is watch her struggle and make this face.

The first read of this behavior is that he’s just enjoying the failures of someone he hates. He says as much later. But I would also argue--from a viewer’s perspective--Judy is ridiculously entertaining and charming throughout these encounters. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and it’s hard not to like people like that.

Is there more happening here than just schadenfreude? I won’t pretend to know for sure. But worth considering.

By the time they’re investigating the limousine, his sabotage has diminished into something more like gentle trolling. And you can’t see this face, in context...

...and tell me she isn’t starting to like him, at least a little bit.

He’s also starting to help! By the time they’re past the minor detour of almost being murdered by a mob boss, he’s entirely cooperative, helping her conduct interviews and look for clues. The movie doesn’t call particular attention to this, but it almost did.

Finally, let’s look at Nick’s behavior when they’re being chased by a rabid jaguar. He could have absolutely booked it, with no regard for the cop who was blackmailing him into helping her.

These moments go by so quickly, but they’re hugely revealing of his true character, even before he defends her in front of Chief Bogo.

He picks her up when she falls.

More importantly, when he gets to the skytram, his first instinct isn’t to jump in--it’s to hold the door for her:

He sees she can’t make it, and she even tells him to leave without her. He doesn’t. He holds the door until he can’t anymore, and as a result he’s nearly killed.

Nick is a good boy.

Part 3: They Are Friends Now

She save his life, so he saves her job. This is a key story beat, and it’s a Disney movie, so there’s not a lot of subtlety (except how the specular highlights in Judy’s eyes fade as Bogo asks for her badge--the light literally goes out of her. Go watch).

But it’s such a sweet moment of teamwork--he was contemptuous toward her from the start because she believed in herself. This is the first time she’s simply given up in the whole movie, and he steps up. Because he believes in her now.

And she believes in him! Or, she wants to.

Judy’s supportiveness here is sweet, but it’s also still a little selfish. It’s not that different from their interaction at the ice cream shop, really: she wants to meet a fox who defies stereotypes, who is easy for her to like. Someone who ticks all the boxes to prove her family wrong.

When he starts being more foxy, later--self-identifying as a predator, showing his claws, challenging her--we learn that her supportiveness is conditional.

Am I being too hard on her? Sure. She’s been in bunny country her whole life. She’s new to this and she’s trying. But that’s where she’s at.

But still! They’re friends now. They’re no longer pretending they don’t like each other. Judy’s openly encouraging, Nick is fully in her corner, and we get a few cute sequences where they keep being more and more impressed with each other.

He’s still not above affectionately messing with her, and she’s getting worse at pretending to dislike it.

And he trusts her enough to let her flush him down a toilet...

Which gives us this heartbreaking shot where he thinks she’s drowned. He cares a whole lot about this bunny.

She likes him too! Enough to want to team up on a more permanent basis. This is pretty standard-fare enemies-to-friends stuff now, but considering where we started, and considering they’ve known each other for all of two days? Not bad!

It’s clear this moment means far more to him than it does to her, too. It’s actually taken very little persuading from Judy to get him to step up and be brave and helpful and trustworthy. The fact that he’s turned around and opened up to her so fast suggests he’s been ready for an opportunity like this for his entire life, and never got it. I mean, look at his face.

The foundational flaw in her worldview is still there, though, and it’s about to do almost-irreparable damage to their whirlwind friendship.

Part 5: Fuck!

So Judy gives her press conference, and gives a great example of why police usually answer every question with “the matter is currently under investigation,” or “we’re not prepared to comment further at this time.” Honestly, though, this is on Bogo--I had coworkers who once did some press interviews, and they spent over a week doing media training. They didn’t even break a major kidnapping case. So, you know.

So she repeats some weird race science stuff she assumes is true because someone in a lab coat said it, which is amusingly similar to how race science (or “race realism”) often propagates--people with low-rent doctorates from crappy universities write a bunch of scientifically shoddy material and people say “well, he has a PhD!”

And then Nick has a PTSD flashback? I don’t want to be irresponsible and make an armchair diagnosis, but also...that is absolutely what is depicted on screen.

You’re not immediately “better” after something like this, which is why I cut Nick a bit of slack when he basically blows up their friendship.

Judy...doesn’t get it. It’s completely heartbreaking, because she likes him, and doesn’t understand why he’s mad, and isn’t self-reflective enough to stop and think maybe he has a point. Not until it’s too late. He tests her, and she fails.

Their friendship has always been a little inequal. He’s trusted her with everything, shown her his deepest vulnerabilities. She’s never trusted him completely.

So he leaves.

I don’t want to impugn her professionalism by suggesting she wouldn’t have quit the force if she hadn’t had that friendship-ending fight, but, you know. Maybe.

This is the second time she gives up, and this time he’s not there to pick her up again.

Judy is intensely goal-oriented, and I don’t think she realized what Nick’s friendship meant to her, as the first person in the city who truly believed in her, until it was too late. Judy is sweet and well-meaning but emotional intelligence is not really her strong suit (which is actually cool to see in a female Disney protagonist, imo).

So, while it would have been nice for her to track Nick down immediately and apologize, I think it makes sense for them to spend time apart. Her own self-perception has been shattered, and she needs time to figure out how she went so wrong.

So when she does come back, she delivers one of the best animated apologies I’ve ever seen. Only AtLA compares, in my mind.

Part 6: They Are Much Better Friends Now

Nick forgives her, because of course he does.

(Sidebar--people talk about how he kept her carrot pen the whole time they were apart. He also kept his handkerchief from Ranger Scouts, AND he only wears shirts that match the wallpaper in his mother’s house. He desperately needs a hug.)

Credit to Nick also, who can’t fight and has no police training whatsoever, who has multiple times been almost killed helping her out, now agreeing to help her out again. She’s not even threatening him with jail this time!

We, the viewers, are then rewarded with this great montage of them being best friends.

She’s finally stopped pretending not to be amused by his shenanigans.

(One other sidebar here--Nick is canonically a really gentle character. For all their adventuring, this is only time in the movie he gets physical with anyone: to protect the bunny. Again, he definitely can’t fight and immediately gets smacked across the room. But it’s the thought that counts, right?)

Per the post title, more visual evidence of them really liking each other.

Judy trips on a dead body, and here we get the second time in the movie that Judy tells Nick to leave without her, and he won’t--this time, he refuses explicitly.

Which then gives us the opportunity for the big moment--the culmination of all this care and intimacy and trust.

In order to con Bellwether, she lets him stalk her, and bite her throat. This has been often pointed out, but it’s important--throughout the movie, Judy’s wriggling rabbit nose has been used as a signifier of fear and suspicion. It wriggles when she’s spying on Nick at the beginning. It wriggles like hell when he confronts her after her press conference.

Not here. Doesn’t move. It’s a great, clearly intentional animation choice that tells a close observer (or more likely, a repeat viewer) that she’s completely unafraid.

She trusts him.

I could write a whole other post about how well-scripted this movie is, how every scene is doing half a dozen different things, but the way the personal and the professional come together here, the way the threads of prejudice and friendship and the police case all tie together in this moment. It’s good shit.

This is basically where things end, in terms of character development, but we get a bunch more shots of them clearly adoring each other:

So there it is.

To sum up, certainly not suggesting this movie invented “characters liking each other,” or anything like that. But it goes above and beyond in portraying a friendship that’s not just one born of circumstance, one that’s authentic and unmistakably loving. Characters who enjoy spending time with each other, regardless of what’s going on around them.

I hope everyone is able to experience friendships like that. I absolutely treasure the few I have.

Appendix: The Shipping Thing

I hope I’ve made all this ship-agnostic, which was my intention. I personally like the ship, and I think the reason it resonates with people is because that love and trust and closeness is clearly there, and a romantic relationship creates a lot more easy opportunities for dialing those things up even higher.

I would also argue, if pressed, that the amount of teasing and physicality that happens reads as pretty flirty. If they were humans I knew in real life, I’d definitely think there was something going on there. But I’m an American, where touching and emotional intimacy tends to be read as romantic. Also, animals are a lot more cuddly than humans. So who knows? I think it’s perfectly reasonable to read them as platonic friends until the end of time.

But, one way or another, they love each other a lot. Shout out to this, one of the most emotionally rewarding relationships I’ve ever seen in a cartoon.

#zootopia #zootropolis #zootopia takes #judy hopps #nick wilde #disney

230 notes · View notes

lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years

Text

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

#rwde #rwby critism #anti mkek #yu gi oh #ygo duel monsters #yu gi oh analasis

2 notes · View notes

magpiemorality · 4 years

Note

OKAY THIS IS JUST AN ADD ON TO THE "FIGHTING OVER PATTON'S AFFECTIONS" PROMPT You know how some (like 90% straight) guys have like fish in their profile pictures on dating sites? Imagine Remus being like "I CAN ALSO SHOW PATTON I CAN PROVIDE HIM WITH PROTEIN!" and just giving him fish. To show he can provide for him, very sweet

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 AO3

Sorry not sorry :)))

Warnings: some angst, cursing

***

Two weeks after their dramatic collision, Patton was relieved to note that his beaus didn’t seem to have scared each other off. Quite the opposite in fact; he’d never felt so attended to in his life.

Remus- whom he had barely spoken to before but had long admired from afar- had come up to him during their last shared gym time, helping him with his circuit training and asking for advice on his stretching regimen. It had been… a lot. They’d been very close together and Remus was really big and strong and slightly sweaty and Patton had maybe used his hands a little more than strictly necessary to show the jock the right way to position himself in a stretch or two.

Dexter had been equally as suddenly present in his life. After the disaster with the tea, he’d brought Patton a cup of his favourite tea every day, with barely another word about it. In the past day however, he’d taken to giving Patton a kiss on the back of the hand when he said goodbye, flustering the cheerleader with those dark, smouldering eyes of his. Patton had accepted his new life as a tomato with some resignation, as Dex had seemed so pleased by the reaction that he’d returned to his stammering for a while until he’d got himself back under control. Now Patton just had to put up with the most beautiful wicked smirk whenever he flushed at Dex’s romantic overtures, and he was starting to lose his grip on his self control.

Between the two of them Patton was wound tight as a fishing line, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on whose shoes you were standing in) it was fishing lines that was just about to cause the whole thing to blow up in their faces…

***

“It’s time to take it to the next level!” Toby crowed, throwing his fists in the air in victory while Remus lounged on his bed and grinned happily. Apparently his latest progress report had been more than satisfactory, because his friend was over the moon. “I mean, that’s basically second base, right? His hand was- and you were- it counts!” The other footballer threw himself into Remus’s desk chair.

“Yeah, cool and all, but how do we take things up a notch? Like, what’s next dude? I have no idea. And Dex is… ugh. So charming? I gotta pull out all the stops bro, he’s gonna be right otherwise. Maybe I am too much of a brute to deserve Pa- Ow! Tobes, dude, what the fuck?!”

Toby just raised an eyebrow, hand up with another baseball cocked and ready to throw like the first. “You know what you did, bro. You know.”

“Fine, I’m sorry. I deserve pretty Patton Sanders and I’m not a brute?”

The hand came down and Toby nodded in satisfaction. “That will do, Duke, that will do. But watch your mouth. And I don’t know the answer, by the way. Maybe we could ask your brother? He always-”

Remus cut him off quickly. “I’m not asking him for help. Never ever, you hear me? I’ll just… what can we use for help? Like, movies? Google?”

“Dating sites?” Toby suggested, shrugging. “I dunno man, where do people actually get shacked up from these days? It’s worth a try.”

Sure, whatever, it was definitely worth a try. They logged on to some ridiculously wholesome dating site after a very frustrating google search and started to scroll through the accounts (after getting mildly sidetracked by setting up a fake profile for laughs).

“So, there’s a theme…”

They looked at each other with wide eyes.

“Baseball caps-”

“Fish. What?” Remus wrinkled his nose at Toby. “No, not baseball caps. Although also yes, I guess, but I’m not doing that. I don’t need helmet hair all the time. Fish! They’re all holding like, big fuck off fish. Maybe it’s an instinct thing, like- I can provide for you! I’m strong and patient and manly!”

“But you’re a football player, like, that’s strong and manly!” Toby pointed out.

“Yeah but I never gave Patton anything to eat, bro. Dex always gives him his favourite drink like a fucking prince charming or some shit. Maybe I can cover food!”

Toby perked up at the explanation. “Yeah! You could go fishing!”

“I could go fishing!”

“And then-”

Remus leaned back on his bed with a triumphant smirk. “Then Patton Sanders will go out with me.”

***

It doesn’t go as smoothly as they expect when they dream the plan up in his frat room. Firstly; there are no fishing spots nearby and secondly; it’s an expensive sport apparently, and annoyingly Remus really doesn’t have the patience for it whatsoever.

After some intense discussion with Toby they’d decided that leaving out the actual fishing part- because Remus has sports covered already- shouldn’t be a problem, and he’ll just have to cover the fish part separately.

Which is how Remus found himself browsing the fish counter at their local store on a cold, crisp Tuesday morning, choosing what would best convey his devotion and suitability as a provider to the object of his affections.

After some careful deliberation he chose a nice salmon filet and he was waiting in line to buy it when he spotted Dexter O’Reilly in the other queue, texting someone with a very sappy smile. Remus knew immediately that it must be Patton, and suddenly it felt like he was doomed to fail, because Dex had broken their unspoken rule to only interact with Patton in person, and was cheating and now Remus was behind!

He nearly stormed over to demand a reckoning but managed to calm himself with the reminder that Dex didn’t have fish to give to Patton, and he did, and that made him the better provider and the stronger choice, physically and metaphorically.

Dexter didn’t notice him, luckily, so Remus was able to slope away without an altercation, and get to practice on time to give the fish to Patton.

Which also doesn’t go as smoothly as planned.

For some reason, upon being presented the plastic wrapped salmon filet, Patton’s first response wasn’t to swoon into Remus’s arms and declare him the ultimate champion of his heart. In fact it wasn’t even the second response. He first stared blankly at Remus for a full ten seconds, and then his mouth started moving silently and he sort of glanced between Remus and the fish helplessly.

Apparently he should have explained the meaning of the gesture along with just proudly holding a piece of fish out to the cheerleader. Woops.

“So, I wanted you to know I can provide for you, and I can be- well I can’t really be patient because I got this from the grocery store, not an actual fishing place, but Toby thinks it counts- so I can be a good provider and boyfriend and I’m strong from sport see, so that counts too, and-”

He melted at the shy, soft smile Patton gave him, all pink-cheeked and adorable. “Um, that’s real sweet of you Remus. Maybe I could cook this sometime for… both of us?”

JACKPOT.

“Yes!” Remus shouted, making Patton jump in surprise at the volume, but the cheerleader waved him off when he quickly apologised. “I mean, yes. That would be… really nice.” He stood there and beamed at Patton, who beamed back.

A few long seconds went by before they were jolted from their reverie by a passing student. Patton took the salmon filet and Remus lifted a hand to brush his cheerleader’s hair back behind his ears, fingers less than an inch from Patton’s face when he saw Dex over Patton’s shoulder, staring at them.

And… it was weird, but the expression on O’Reilly’s face wasn’t angry at all, like Remus would’ve expected. It was hurt, and heartbroken, and defeated, and as Remus stood there frozen Dexter dropped his eyes to the floor, looking horribly lost, and then he hurried away, two cups still clutched in his hands.

Remus felt kinda bad, and he let his hand drop before making contact. Patton tilted his head in confusion but Remus just smiled tightly and hurried away to the changing rooms.

He had some thinking to do.

(Patton had never been more confused in his life)

***

End of part 3

#moceit #intruality #intrumoceit #ts patton #ts remus #ts deceit #college au #prompt fill #writepie #ts sanders sides #ts writing #ts sanders sides aus #sanders sides #some angst sorry not sorry #bring it on au

115 notes · View notes

hyperfixateandchill · 3 years

Text

aaand because I can’t stop thinking about it i’ve written down my ranking of post-finale deancas scenarios including a non-exhaustive list of pros and cons for each. read on at your own discretion.

1st place: Deancas open up the new Roadhouse. My personal favorite because, again, Dean’s canon dream. I think Dean would LOVE running his own bar and playing host and serving people food and drinks is basically his love language. Cas isn’t as into the bar vibe specifically but he enjoys seeing people come and go and getting to know the locals who come by and just being with Dean. They get to stay connected to the hunting world without being actual hunters which is probably the perfect win win situation for them.

Other Pros of the Bar scenario (i’ve thought about this a lot): Claire and Kaia come by increasingly often to visit until eventually Claire basically works part-time at the Roadhouse when she’s not off hunting and Dean starts only semi-ironically calling it the “family business.” Claire puts up pride flag stickers on the front door and Dean makes a thing of it at first but then warms up to the idea. People start catching on and now local queer people will come from several towns over to visit the bar because there aren’t exactly that many queer friendly spaces in their corner of Kansas. Then it’s pride month and Claire and Kaia secretly update the bar’s online info to explicitly draw in queer customers and on the evening of the nearest pride march the bar is PACKED with all the local gays and Cas has the pop music blaring and he will NOT let Dean change it but it’s ok because Dean’s made friends with a drag queen who’s a professional comedian and now they’re comparing calendars to see when she might be able to come do a set at the Roadhouse and basically their bar is now a gay bar. “LGBT friendly”, Dean insists, because 1. he’s not gay and 2. he still caters to the local straights and the hunters. but now hunters come in and end up sitting 2 stools away from a flamboyant!gay and some are slightly weirded out but most don’t care at all and all of them end up making some kind of comment about how they’d heard about Dean Winchester and his angel... guess it’s true huh? And Dean shoots them a cocky grin and says ‘yep’ but he still holds to the rule that pop music is only allowed on tuesdays and thursdays and maybe very late at night on the weekends when everybody’s drunk and dancing. The Roadhouse is a second home to Dean and it’s the perfect mix of middle american dive, hunter’s hangout and lgbt space, and that’s literally DEAN so it’s perfect and he gets to work with his family by his side and be a part of a community (or several) and he feels useful and happy.

Cons of the Bar scenario: Doesn’t work great with having a small child or hobbies. very long hours and unusual work schedule. would encourage Dean’s drinking habit. I.e. it might be more intense than some alternatives (unless the bar is more cafe/diner during the day and Claire/Kaia/whatever other youngins can mind the place on their own if deancas aren’t in and the bar is located quite close to their house to they can come and go).

Overall works pretty well for a more active/energetic take on deancas’s lives post-finale. 8/10

2nd place: Mix of mechanic!Dean and retired!deancas. Dean’s never had a proper job before or much of a social circle who aren’t hunters, so I find it hard to imagine Dean working at an autoshop and playing mr. normie with his coworkers. Same with Cas and a regular job.

What I can imagine, however, is Dean having his own small business where he fixes up old cars (for like, vintage car enthusiasts). It starts as a hobby but then he realizes people would pay him to do it so now it’s a business. Deancas obviously have a a house on a big plot of land near the woods and a lakeside, so there’s plenty of outdoor space for him to set up a small shop and most of his customers call ahead so he doesn’t have people just coming in anyway. The work is not quite enough to pay all the bills but again, Charlie’s magic credit card, so who cares. Cas gardens and beekeeps and occasionally sells the extras at the local farmer’s market. Dean cooks and fishes and uses Cas’s ingredients whenever possible. They spend their days on their own property, doing their hobbies on their own time and making enough money from them that they don’t feel useless and still have plenty of time left to get over-involved in Jack’s pta. It’s a very calm, contented life. the millennial hipster dream, fulfilled by two 40-some year old dads.

Pros: deancas getting to spend their days doing what they love, being ridiculously domestic and married (even if they’re not officially married), both being absolute malewives in their own ways and it’s disgustingly sweet.

Cons: this scenario doesn’t have quite as much excitement and opportunity for shenanigans as the bar scenario. Less connection to a community, more living like hermits. Dean might appreciate the more social atmosphere of a bar. Cas might be equally happy either way, but he’d probably like having Claire help them out at the bar so that’s a plus for him.

Overall a good scenario for a more placid semi-retired life. 7/10

3rd place: a bait and switch. Cas is the one who ends up still having something you could call a ‘job’, Dean is the househusband. It starts with deancas still helping saileen with HOL (hunters of letters) stuff but eventually Dean is very decided that he wants out now that things are in good hands. Cas agrees with him but still consults with the hol network since he’s got all that lore knowledge. Dean very occasionally helps with research/strategy for a hunt but that’s IT no more hunting for him, and so it ends up that Cas still comes by the bunker fairly often and works from home the rest of the time on research and translations etc and Dean’s 100% amateur chef-in-training and papa bear because now nobody can look down on him for being a housewife (or nobody he gives a shit about anyway) so he’s gone all in. and whenever he comes by the bunker these days is after he’s picked up Jack from school and he comes to join their family to cook them all dinner while they finish up the work.

Pros: love me a Dean who’s gotten over his hypermasculinity and is now comfortable with doing whatever he likes even if (sometimes specially if) that thing is considered stereotypically feminine. It’s his big fuck you to his dad and it’s the life mary had wanted when she was young and dean is mary and therefore he’s honoring her memory when he spends his days on a bright airy kitchen making lunch for his 4 year old and waiting for his ex-soldier husband he adores to come home and doing not one bit of hunting. except dean never had to lie about his past and cut ties with his hunter family to get this. which is why this time for him it works, when it didn’t for mary or sam. love that energy.

Cons: Dean is not in fact just a malewife and would probably still want some more action in his life. might feel kinda useless with Cas having a ‘thing’ to do when he doesn’t. Cas would be perfectly happy regardless though.

Overall heartwarming and sweet but not as realistic: 6/10

4th: Disheveled-magic-shop-owner!Cas (+ Sam and Dean). Just thought of this. Cas knows his shit about spell ingredients and magical objects and supernatural weapons, probably more than even Sam. And Cas gardens. And Cas most likely enjoys pinterest and mom blogs and finds out about etsy... So Cas may or may not start growing/hoarding specific goods he knows are useful in the hunting world. at first it’s just to help HOL out but eventually Dean realizes like... we could profit off of this? And Cas eye-rolls because he doesn’t care but then again he knows his shit so he sets up a poorly-designed website to sell hunting stuff. and maybe Sam goes in on it with him because Sam also knows his shit and it’s kind of cute because they work together and Dean probably does the mechanic/barkeep/househusband thing though he does help with making the special bullets and dropping off parcels at the post office and so on. And maybe eventually they open up a small magic shop where they sell their shit. And maybe the shop is next door to the Roadhouse and it’s all become ‘your one-stop shop for everything a hunter might need’ (and you know the gays like their new age shit too so it all works), and the bunker isn’t even far away either and all three business are interconnected, the ‘family business’ that AU John Winchester of Hunter Corp wished he’d created.

Pros: Cas gets to do a thing he’s knowledgeable and passionate about and Deancas get to leave hunting while staying adjacent to the community. Cas as a disheveled shopkeep who’s not particularly nice to customers but who provides them with insights and mysterious comments that make people certain he must be legit.

Cons: Cas using his knowledge of the supernatural to profit off of hunters sounds too capitalist and not very Cas-like. He would be the type to gladly give people stuff for free and methinks that Dean and Sam would feel that way too. Cas helping with HOL stuff is basically established in options 1-3 already and so is him gardening for potentially useful ingredients. He doesn’t need to sell this stuff in a shop.

Overall makes sense theoretically but doesn’t vibe well for me. 5/10

5th: full on retirees, doing basically the same things as no 2 except with maybe some more travelling and less caring about making money from any of it.

Pros: the “and they lived happily ever after” they deserve after all the shit they’ve been through.

Cons: boring. uneventful. Dean and Cas are still quite young and neither’s had a chance at something even resembling a normal life for more than a couple of months at a time. They should get more of a middle aged married life experience before moving on to full retirement.

Overall valid but less interesting: 4/10

6th: Cas gets a job at a local library or shop, Dean is either a mechanic or a househusband. To preface, if Cas were to get a job out there in the world, my favorite would be like a magic shop or a bookshop with *unique* books. But I find that unlikely unless Cas is running his own shop (see 4th place for that). So here we’re talking about a regular normie shop.

Pros: Cas has a job he likes and feels useful in? And he’s not completely tied down to Dean all the time (though not sure that counts as a pro). More of the ‘normal life’ vibes.

Cons: Cas working at a random bookstore or library or shop or whatever would be passably interesting but not as fulfilling or useful or fun as any of the other options.

Overall valid but not interesting or all that heartwarming. 2/10

6th: deancas don’t know any life outside of hunting so they keep on doing it, except now with lower stakes than before and they go on less actual hunts.

pros: umm... consistency? they keep working closely with saileen and the new hunters who start coming by/moving into the bunker.

cons: everything. Dean’s wanted out and he should get it. Cas literally died several times over and he should get to experience a human life with the man he loves and not just do more dangerous shit.

Overall a terrible idea. 1/10 (because 0/10 would be the Cas never comes back and Dean dies and goes to heaven scenario)

#spn #supernatural #deancas #destiel #dean winchester #and #castiel #deserve a happy life

4 notes · View notes

spaceace314 · 4 years

Text

Anxiety attacks

Trigger warning: This post will talk in depth about anxiety attacks. If you suffer or have ever suffered from anxiety attacks, this post may be triggering for you, so feel free to skip this post and look at some cute puppies instead. Also, trigger warning for mild accidental self-harm in one paragraph, which will be stated at the beginning of the paragraph as well in case you need to skip it. If you do choose to read on, please please please be safe.

Disclaimer: This post will be based on my experiences of anxiety attacks and my experiences alone, and will therefore not be representative of everybody’s experiences. Some people have anxiety attacks far far more severely than myself, and others have very mild anxiety attacks, but they are all completely valid and I don’t want to downplay anybody else’s problems. Also, any advice I may give may not help everybody because, again, this is based on only my experiences and I’m not a mental health expert. If you do need help and advice about anxiety issues, I would strongly recommend seeing a professional.

General warning: This is a loooooooong post. Sorry in advance.

I think that’s about everything. Onwards with the post! *clears throat*

I have been having anxiety attacks on and off for at least six years. They can vary in frequency from being months apart to happening almost every day. Currently, I’m having about one anxiety attack a week due to the stress of being back at university.

Because I’ve been having anxiety attacks for so long, I pretty much recognise the symptoms by now, to the point where I can tell a few minutes in advance if an anxiety attack is coming on. I have, on a handful of occasions, been able to sense an anxiety attack coming and stop it from happening, but most of the time they’re pretty difficult to stop, so I mainly focus on working out how to survive them and what to do afterwards, and over my many many years of experience, I’ve picked up several tricks and techniques. So without further ado, here’s my Super Useful Guide On How To Survive An Anxiety Attack.

Spaceace314′s Super Useful Guide On How To Survive An Anxiety Attack

Step 1: Recognising when an anxiety attack is about to happen

There are several warning signs that I notice before an anxiety attack starts. First and foremost, watch out for any potential triggers. For me personally, being in enclosed spaces, feeling trapped, or having to perform a task under pressure can often trigger an anxiety attack, so I’ve learnt to take extra care in exams and on trains and stay tuned in to my anxiety levels.

Anxiety attacks can often start in your mind, in the form of thoughts spiralling out of control. If you catch yourself getting worked up by your thoughts, or having unrealistic thoughts about theoretical scenarios where everything goes wrong, you need to act fast to stop yourself from spiralling out of control. Rationalising your thoughts can sometimes help, which you can do by addressing each worry and calmly and logically, assessing the likelihood of it coming true (which will be very very low), and if it would actually be as bad as it seemed (eg failing a test won’t end the world). If this doesn’t work, you can try distracting yourself, maybe listen to music or message a friend, or if you’re nearby friends or family, go and talk to them if you feel comfortable doing so, because they might calm you down and help ground you.

The next sign I tend to notice after the spirally thoughts is that my breathing will start to go funny. I’ll be feeling worried and then suddenly realise that I stopped breathing at some point and that I currently can’t take in any air. This can be absolutely terrifying, especially if you’re not used to it, but you need to stay calm. There are many breathing exercises that you can try, and my personal go to is 4-7-8, which means breathing in for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds, and breathing out for 8 seconds. Focusing on your breathing can also have the useful side-effect of distracting you from your anxious thought spiral, which is super-duper helpful for avoiding an attack.

There are lots of other physical symptoms, such as increased heart rate, sweaty palms, being unable to sit still, being close to tears or crying, feeling suddenly hot, feeling suddenly sick, and loads more (anxiety attacks are so fun). Keep an eye out for these signs, because being able to sense and prevent an anxiety attack is a lot better than having to suffer through one. But if you can’t stop the attack, move on to step 2.

Step 2: Preparing for an anxiety attack that you can’t stop.

So I’ve had situations where I can sense an anxiety attack coming that I can’t stop, but I’ve at least had a couple of minutes before it builds up to the point where it takes over completely. This time can be extremely important.

Firstly, get yourself into a safe environment. For example, if you’re cooking and feel an attack coming on, turn off all of your cooking stuff (hob, microwave, oven etc) so that you can leave it for a while without risking your own safety. Chances are that you won’t be able to take care of things if something boils over whilst you’re busy hyperventilating, so for your own safety (and peace of mind), just turn everything off. Unless you’re using a slow cooker, in which case it’s probably fine.

Next, find somewhere comfortable, preferably sitting down, where you can wait out the anxiety attack. A comfy chair won’t stop you from panicking, but it’s more comfortable to cry your eyes out in a nest of blankets and cushions than sitting on a cold kitchen floor. If you’re having an anxiety attack in a public place, try to find somewhere quiet where you can sit for a while. Also, if you can grab something to distract yourself with (like your phone or some fidget toys), then do. Having something else to focus on can help to keep you grounded and lessen both the intensity and length of an anxiety attack. Once you’re in a safe environment, just try to stay calm (which is easier said than done, I know), because you might just have to wait it out, but it will pass.

Step 3: Surviving the anxiety attack

Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin. At some point, the anxiety will take over. I generally find myself unable to talk and struggling to breathe, and most of the time I’ll cry silently and uncontrollably. When I first started having anxiety attacks, which generally happened during tests, they would be completely paralysing to the point where I could literally have my pen in my hand and resting on my test paper and want to write a single word, a single letter, to just move my pen downwards, but be completely unable to. The paralysis still happens sometimes, but it isn’t anywhere near as regular as it was and it isn’t quite as bad any more. Anyway, these symptoms can be absolutely terrifying, and it can feel like there’s no way out and the anxiety attack will never end, but I can promise you that it will end eventually. You need to keep breathing, breathing is very very important, and try to stay calm. I know how terrifying it can be not having control of your own breathing, but remember that it can’t kill you, because you’ll literally pass out before your body lets you suffocate. (Is that comforting? I was aiming for comforting). My point is, you’re gonna be okay, and the not-breathing thing, although terrifying, won’t cause you any actual serious harm. You’re safe and it’ll all be okay, I promise.

(TW: Accidental self-harm description start) Also, you may, without realising, start to cause yourself harm if you’re too zoned out to think properly, so it’s important to keep an eye on what you’re doing. If you notice that you’re digging your nails into your palms and leaving marks, or that you’re scratching your arms until they turn red, try to stop yourself. This can be super difficult, especially when your brain is most decisively Not Cooperating with you, but you still need to try. It can help to have something to fidget with, like a tangle or a stretchy stress toy, but literally try to do anything else with your hands, even if you end up scribbling on a piece of paper then snapping your pen in half, because making sure that you don’t get hurt needs to be your priority. Keep yourself safe. Also keep breathing, that’s real important for staying alive and all. (Accidental self-harm description end)

Some people will focus on one particular thought and use it as an anchor to reality, like their cute tiny little puppy being adorable and cute and looking up at them with soft loving puppy eyes. Some people might have a mantra that they repeat, such as “nothing is as bad as it seems” or “I will get through this” which will remind them that they’re gonna be okay. Different things work for different people, and it can just be a case of trial and error to find out what works for you. One thing that works pretty well for me is the 54321 grounding exercise, where you name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This basically reminds your brain of the reality around you, which can stop some of the anxious brain-spiralling from happening and keep you calm (or, y’know, calmer). Also keep up the breathing thing, that’s still important.

Distracting yourself with other stuff or talking to people can also help you to keep calm, which will make the anxiety attack slightly easier to manage. But it is also, rather unfortunately, often just a waiting game. I often find that my anxiety attacks trail off after about 20 minutes, but I’ll experience waves of anxiety (like, I’ll be fine, a minute later I’ll be panicky and cry again, a minute later I’ll be fine, a minute later I’ll be teary, etc) for several more minutes. But the attack will sort itself out, if for no other reason than you’ll exhaust yourself and your body will calm down in response to that. You just need to keep calm and keep breathing and remember than anxiety attacks don’t last forever and that you’re gonna be okay. Everything will be okay. You’ve just gotta keep breathing for, like, 20 minutes, then everything will all be okay again.

Step 4: After the anxiety attack

So you’ve survived an anxiety attack, and now you’re sitting down, wrapped in blankets, your face covered in tears and snot, and all you want to do is go to sleep and hide from the world forever. But first, you need to take care of yourself. Drink some water, especially if you’ve been crying. You’ve been out of it for a while, and humans need water to survive. If you’re feeling hungry (and you really might be hungry, anxiety attacks take a lot of energy), then grab yourself a snack and eat it slowly. You need to stay calm, so try to take things slow if you can. And then, once you’re all okay again physically, take a long long sleep if you need (or want) to. Anxiety attacks are exhausting, and a good sleep will do you the world of good. And even after you feel all better again, after you’ve drunk water and eaten food and slept, be sure to be gentle with yourself. Anxiety attacks are horrible, and you need to take proper care of yourself because your mental health and wellbeing is extremely important, you are extremely important, and you deserve to be happy, or at the very least, have not-terrible mental health.

~~~~~~~~

Le fin. (That’s French for the end. I think.)

~~~~~~~~

Anyway, thanks for reading my (extremely long) post. If any of y’all suffer with anxiety issues or anxiety attacks, I hope that you know that you’re not alone, and that there are people who can help and support you. And if you don’t have anxiety attacks, then maybe this post helped you get an idea of what they are and how the can affect people.

I love you guys, stay safe out there.

#mental health #anxiety attacks #tw anxiety attacks #anxiety #tw anxiety #tw self harm mention #tw self harm #like it's such mild and accidental self harm #but still worth tagging #better safe than sorry #tw breathing #tw breathing difficulties #panic attacks #tw panic attacks #all the trigger warnings #lemme know if i missed any #alright bye guys #love y'all #drink water :)

7 notes · View notes

mai-nonsense · 3 years

Note

Basics: 2, 6. Appearance: 4. Personality: 3, 8,9. Background: 1, 5. Relationships: 1, 3, 4, 7. Fun facts: 1, 7, 10.

*claps hands together* Alright! I'm going to do the answers for my Shepards, otherwise I'll be here all week.

2. What does their name mean? Why are they named that?

Jane: The original reason she's named that is because I was too lazy to think of a name so I just went with the default (she was my first ever Shepard), now I Headcannon that she went by Shepard until she joined up with the alliance, so she chose the name Jane because it's the only one that came to mind

Cassidy: I don't really pay attention to what names actually mean when I name characters, but I named her that b/c it's pretty and she just kinda looked like Cassidy

Henri: Henry is a family name on both sides of my family, but I wanted to use it as for a femshep b/c I like androgynous names (partly because I have one, but also because I think there should be more of them in circulation)

Damien: His name was originally Darren but I changed it b/c my sister and mum pointed out that Darren's a bit bogan. And instead of owning it I covered it up like a coward. I renamed him Damien because my favorite Robin is Damian Wayne and litteraly no other reason

Vance: named after the singer Vance Joy, b/c his songs have a lot of emotional significance to me and I like the name

Ryan: he's my only actual Canadian Shepard and my mum and I have a running joke about all Canadians being named Ryan (b/c of Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling etc.) So he's Ryan.

6. What's their star sign, birthstone etc? Does it hold any special significance for them?

All of them besides Vance have Shepard's canon birthday and none of them besides Cassidy have any belief in that kind of thing. Cassidy is a quietly spiritual kind of woman so she likes the whole star sign/ birthstone kind of thing, but she'd never admit out loud.

4. Appearance- How do they carry themselves? What is their default expression?

Jane has resting bitch face. She walks around like she's going to go beat someone up, probably because she usually is.

Cassidy has a very casual, approachable demeanor about her. Her go-to expression is either concern or pouting.

Henri carries herself shoulders back, chin up and head held high. Her usual expression is a mix of serious and thoughtful

Damien carries himself like a serious soldier but with a hint of sadness, he has resting sad face

Vance also walks around like he's looking for a fight and he's usually scowling

Ryan has a cocky swagger and usually has a sideways smile on his face

Personality 3. What are their hobbies and interests?

Jane: Is gun-modding a hobby? Because if so then that's one of them. She genuinely enjoys the combat part of being a soldier and enjoys training herself to be a deadly weapon, a side effect of growing up in the reds most likely. She doesn't really have many interests outside of being a solider, and doesn't really eat anything outside of protein bars and ready-meals.

Cassidy: she likes to mod games in her spare time, and practices her hacking skills a lot in order to keep herself sharp. She has a fondness for Turian and Salarian pop-culture, video games especially.

Henri: Henri likes hard copy books, with old-fashioned dust jackets and everything. Even with new release publications, she'll always go out of her way to find a hard copy if she really wants to read it. She usually reads non-fiction but she's a sucker for a good romance novel.

Damien: Also throws himself into his work so much that he barely has any free time. On the rare occasion that he does, he likes to build things, usually model ships or card towers (which he knocks down immediately after)

Vance: Vance actually really enjoys cooking, it's something he used to do with his mum when he was little so it's his way of keeping her alive in spirit

Ryan: Ryan has a penchant for old earth comic books and music from the 20/21st century, he likes to draw and regularly carries a sketchbook

8. What are their manners like? Any habits?

Jane's manners are atrocious. She's straightforward, tactless and blunt, which gets her in trouble quite a bit. She's not a fan of sparing feelings, if you're doing something that's pissing her off, she'll let you know

Cassidy is also pretty blunt, but has a lot more tact and isn't as crass as Jane. She's nice whenever possible but she doesn't skirt around issues

Henri is anxious people-pleaser that always looks for the best in everyone at heart, but has a polite but proffesional exterior.

Damien varies depending on his mood, Mass Effect 1 Damien is polite and proffesional but that drops as time goes by. By the time ME:3 rolls around he is 1000% done and doesn't have time to put up with anyone's shit and reacts to social situations accordingly

Vance goes in the opposite direction to Damien, starts off rude and aggressive but gradually softens as time goes by.

Ryan has decent manners, but can often be inappropriate in social situations

9. What are they most afraid of?

Jane: before falling for Kaidan, it's falling for Kaidan, because she hates having intense emotions about people that she can't control. After falling for Kaidan, it's anything bad happening to Kaidan. She doesn't really care for her own well-being but she constantly worries about and will protect her friends and loved ones at all costs.

Cassidy: Dying. Specifically, dying again and Garrus continuing down the dark path she found him on after her resurrection. She'd hate for him to completely lose hope like that again.

Henri: dissapointing those around her.

Damien: Also letting everyone down.

Vance: Everyone he cares about dying painfully.

Ryan: spiders.

Background, 1. Where were they born, what was their childhood like?

Jane was born in Brisbane, believe it or not, she gets carted off to one of her aunts in America at age 4. After that it's foster home to home for her until she ditches them for the reds at 10. Needless to say, her childhood was rough.

Both Vance and Henri were born and raised on Mindoir. They both had good childhoods until Batarians killed their families.

Damien was born in Chicago. He spent his childhood being bandied about from alliance ship to alliance ship. He spent a lot of his childhood alone.

Cassidy was born in New York, but has the spacer background. Her mother had a much more caring presence then Damien's however, so she grew up well.

Ryan was born in Montreal, spent his childhood in and out of foster homes until he was 14, when he joined the reds for protection. Despite this, he views his childhood in a positive light, as he knows he's come a long way since those days.

5. Where do they currently live? What's their place like?

I'm going to skip this one because I don't have a good answer for any of them at the moment lol.

Relationships, 1. Do they have any friends? Who would they consider their best friend?

Jane has more friends/people who care about her then she thinks she does. She considers her best friend to be either Miranda or Liara.

Cassidy gives off chill older sister vibes and treats her crew as family, so a lot of people come to her for support or just for an ear. She loves talking tech with Tali and considers her to be her best friend, with Ashley coming in as a close second.

Henri initially has more colleagues then friends, but she learns to loosen up and to have a more relaxed approach to the people she cares about. She considers her best friends to be Kaidan and Joker (though her feelings for Joker develop into something more ever time)

Damien has the ruthless background, so he's more feared then loved. He's also quite socially awkward so it's hard for him to make friends to begin with. Despite this, the people who do call him friend do so wholeheartedly. He considers his best friend to be Garrus.

Vance, despite being an asshole, actually has a lot of friends. Because he's a loveable asshole. His best friend is either Liara or Jack.

Ryan is very likeable, and is often the life of the party. But people more look up to him then actually consider him a friend. He considers Kaidan his best friend. (who he's also secretly in love with, but shhhhhhh we'll get to that)

3. What's their love life like? Do they have any kids?

I'm currently using Jane as my "Kaidan as subject zero AU" Shepard, because I think she fits so well with subject0!Kaidan, as I love writing stories about two hardened badasses who just want to be loved, falling in love. Non-au Jane also ends up with Kaidan, and have a daughter named Astra

Cassidy is one of my two Shakarian Sheps, who gets the more 'traditional' happy ending out of the two. That is, she retires somewhere nice with Garrus and they adopt a bunch of orphans together.

Henri is my one and only Joker-mancer, one of these days I will write their story (once I finish planning it out lol) but I currently have other projects at the forefront. As for kids, neither Henri or Joker want them because there would be to many medical factors/lifestyle changes they'd have to consider and they couldn't put that burden on a kid.

Damien's life motto is: no kids, only dogs and he manages to stick by that pretty well. When Vance (his half-brother) has kids he settles into the role of cool uncle though. Though Damien thought he wasn't one for romance at all, he somehow fell in love with Kaidan without realizing it and they eventually end up together.

Vance and Ashley fall hard for each other, and after many hardships and triumphs, they eventually marry and have three kids together

Ryan sleeps around a bit but spends the duration of ME:1 and 2 pining for Kaidan but never saying anything b/c he doesn't want to make it awkward™. Naturally they end up together but it takes a while. Am currently undecided on whether they have kids together or not.

4. Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?

Jane: Anderson. He took her under his wing and believed in her when nobody else did. She comes to trust her inner circle in time. That consisting primarly of Kaidan, Miranda, Jack, Liara, Garrus and Wrex.

Cassidy: Her mother, as she managed to give her a good childhood while in the military as a single mum. She trusts Garrus and Tali with her life.

Henri: Anderson and Hackett both, as they've always pushed her to do her best. She trusts in her crew, as, in her eyes, they've never let her down.

Damien: Hackett, as he gave him a second chance after Torfan and promised him that he wouldn't let him down. People don't trust him on impulse so the people whose trust he earns always have his in return.

Vance, Anderson and Samara. Anderson because he helped him after he lost his family on Mindoir and Samara because she's a powerful biotic with a commanding presence and he learns a lot about discipline from her. Vance eventually learns to trust Damien after not wanting him anywhere near his life for a long time.

Ryan: He tries to find a way to learn at least something from everyone he encounters, good or bad. He doesn't really trust anyone for a very long time but gradually comes to trust in his ME:3 crew

7. Are they good with kids? Animals?

Jane: Surprisingly, yes. Though it can depend on the kid or animal in question *cough star child cough*. She strives to protect those who can't defend themselves and improve lives for future generations.

Cassidy: Very good with both.

Henri: She grew up a farm girl, so she's pretty great with animals. She's good with kids until they start screeching and then she promptly nopes out.

Damien: Good with animals, dogs in particular. Is okay with kids, but doesn't really like interacting with them unless he has a good reason (like them being his niece and nephews).

Vance: Despite growing up a farm boy, he's not too big an animal lover. He loves his own kids, but isn't too big on them in general.

Ryan: Used to hang out with stray cats as a teen. Decent kid-wrangler™.

Fun facts, 1. Which tropes do they fit? which archetypes?

Jane fits the "does bad things for a good goal" trope and potentially fits the stereotypical "bad girl" archetype as well

Cassidy fits with the "protective matriarch/sister" archetype/trope

Henri gives me "girl next door", but with a gun, vibes

Damien fits the "everyone thinks he's evil, but he's really just misunderstood" trope

Vance is def an "asshole with a heart of gold"

Ryan's a himbo

7. What languages do they speak?

Vance knows a tiny bit of Mandarin, and Ryan speaks okay Canadian French, everyone else speaks English and only English for now, though that may change as I find out more about them.

10. What songs remind you of them?

Jane: Missile, Dorothy

Cassidy: Dead Weight, PVRIS

Henri: CHAMPION, Bishop Brigs

Damien: The Phoenix, Fall Out Boy

Vance: What's Up Danger, Blackway ft. Black Caviar

Ryan: You're Gonna Go Far Kid, The Offspring

WOW. I just did a big old-fashioned info dump right there. Sorry about that.

Thanks for the ask!!!

#ask meme #oc asks #crqstalite

5 notes · View notes