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potteresque-ire · 3 years

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Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈 (June is Pride Month where I am 😊) For the occasion, may I recommend this animated musical short, 秘密港 Safe Haven, by the Beijing Queer Chorus (北京酷兒合唱團)? Published on the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia (IDAHOBIT; May 17th, 2021), the animation, with its lovely (and at times, heartbreaking) song, is about a queer person and their friend who tries to offer their support. The lyrics is English-subbed.

(Below the cut: a wish for the c-queer community; conception of Safe Haven, as explained by the Beijing Queer Chorus; CW/TW for homophobia, violence and forced abortion)

Background for my wish: with the recent Chinese government’s aggressive turnaround in its population control policy to combat its declining birth rate—on 2021/05/31, China further lifted the cap of number of children allowed per couple from 2 to 3 (the number was 1 for almost four decades, 1978-2015; the population control measure has therefore been colloquially called the “One Child Policy”), younger generations of Chinese are already feeling the pressure and fearing the consequences of non-compliance (for example, if the state levies heavy fines on non-child-bearers).

While I have not yet read articles that directly connect the major policy shift with the c-queer community, I imagine it may bring both relief and additional challenges. The relief will likely take time to come; the challenges, meanwhile, will likely be immediate.

This has to do with the root of antagonism against homosexuality in Chinese societies. Unlike in their Western counterparts, Chinese queers have consistently reported that family, instead of societal, pressure as the greatest challenge they face (societal pressure includes that from religion, from government etc). C-queers are expected to abide to the heteronormative traditions of opposite-sex marriage and child-bearing, in a collectivistic, conformist environment still strongly influenced by the Confucian notion that continuing the bloodline is the primary responsibility of a filial child. Men, especially, are under heavy pressure to carry on their family surname. Those who fail to do so are seen as irresponsible at best, moral failures at worst. They suffer anything and everything from constant nagging from their relatives, to ostracisation, to disownment.

A better known consequence of this cultural antagonism against homosexuality in the tragic Tongqi (同妻 “homo-wives”) phenomenon that is, perhaps, unique to China.

Tongqi are straight women who unknowingly entered marriage with closeted gay man, who often learn about their spouse’s sexuality only after the filial obligation of having children has been fulfilled. It’s a form of marriage fraud; women who file for divorce, however, are likely to lose custody of their child(ren) under Chinese laws, and so many of them keep mum. The gay men involved are also victims in many cases; the lack of public, open education and discussion of queer topics in the country mean even the queers themselves may not have a full understanding of their own queerness, believe that “straightening” themselves is something they can do with sufficient willpower and love for their family.

As one may expect, these marriages are mostly unsatisfying; psychiatric issues and intimate partner violence (IPV), which include verbal, emotional and physical abuse, have also been frequently reported. Just how prevalent are Tongqi’s in China that, in turn, reflect how many gay men in China are pressured to remain in the closet and get married? The following numbers may serve as comparison. In 2010, the percentage of gay men married to heterosexual women in the US was 15-25%. In China and in 2018, meanwhile, the reowned Chinese sexologist, sociologist and LGBT rights activist, Li Yinhe (李銀河), quoted an estimate of 80% of China’s ~ 20 million gay men were married to heterosexual wives; i.e. the Tongqi population amounted to ~16 million. Literature has reported a similar estimated size of the Tongqi population—at 13+ million, in 2016.

(Reason for the numbers being estimates: the exact size of the c-queer community isn’t known. China’s decennial census questionnaire from late last year (2020) once again excluded questions about its own LGBT+ community. "Room mate” is how many c-queers have to refer to their partners).

While the Chinese government decriminalised homosexuality in 1997 and its current laws carry no clauses that target the queer community—the official stance of Chinese government on homosexuality is currently 不支持，不反對，不提倡 “not supporting, not opposing, not advocating”—what may seem to be its non-queer-related policies have indirectly but majorly impacted the lives of c-queers. In particular, the “One Child Policy” has been hypothesised to exacerbate the challenge faced by c-queers, as the only child becomes the sole “next generation” available for producing grandchildren and extending the family bloodline.

Hence, my expectation / hope that the relaxation of "One Child Policy”, by lifting the cap on the number of children a couple can have, will bring relief to the LGBT+ population—even if the relief will only come years down the road, as the newer generations of c-queers will then have siblings to share their filial responsibilities.

However, this also explains my worry for now, for the immediate months and years to come, for not only c-queers but the younger generations of Chinese in general. My worry is about how, exactly, the state intends to drive its birth rate upward, and the hardship the new policies may bring.

The practices of China’s population control policies have historically been brutal. Forced, late-term abortions were common, for example. This is reflected in the country’s birth control propaganda banners, commonly seen in Chinese villages until late 2000s, which were infamous for their verbal violence:

“Beat it out! Abort it! Miscarry it! Just cannot give birth to it!”

Fines, which were levied on offenders of the One Child Policy, may seem like a better option but can place an unbearable burden on poorer families, of which there remain many in China. Premier Li Keqiang reported, in May 2020, that >40% of China’s population—600 million—are living with a monthly income of ~$140 USD or below, despite the glitz often seen in the country’s entertainment productions. Using One Child Policy era fines for reference, the famous Chinese director 張藝謀 Zhang Yimou was fined 7.48 million RMB (~$1.17 million USD) for his three children, in 2013. Defying the new population control policies may therefore be a privilege reserved for the very powerful and very rich. And the government is likely to be aggressive in enforcing its new policies—the social media accounts of > 20 feminist activists, who advocate for reproductive freedom among other women’s rights, have already been shut down in the recent weeks.

Will the Chinese government find ways to penalise members of the queer community who do not contribute to the new baby count? Will it turn a blind(er) eye to the Tongqi 同妻 (and to a lesser extent, Tongfu 同夫 ~ heterosexual men married to lesbian women) tragedies happening every day? It’s impossible to say yet.

For this year, therefore, I wish the c-queer community this—I wish it to be safe from the reach of China’s population control policies, whatever they will be.

Back to the animated short, Safe Haven, which is about coming out. In 2016, a 18,000 people survey by the United Nations Development Programme reported only 5% of Chinese queers had come out to people outside their families. Only 15% have come out to their families. A more recent survey reports a significant improvement in these percentages, with ~50% of gays, bisexuals and transgenders and 70% of lesbians having come out to their families (Table 2). Fully out queers remain rare (<10%).

There’s still, therefore, a long way to go. With queers often being out (if they’re out at all) only to their most immediate/intimate social circles, with the state’s censorship of LGBT+ presentation in visual media, many (especially older generations of) non-queers in China haven’t seen a living, breathing, outwardly queer person before. The process of coming out, by extension—what it means, what it takes for both the giver and receiver of the message—may have never entered the thoughts of these non-queers before.

What should they say? What should they do? What words and actions will convey support? What won’t?

Safe Haven is about these questions. I’ll end this post with a translation of the Weibo post in which the animated short was first published, in which Beijing Queer Chorus explained the project’s conception:

#517 IDAHOBIT# Do you remember how it was like, the first time you came out of the closet, or someone came out of the closet to you? Who was that person? What did you say at the time, and how did that person react?

The person who voluntarily exposes their heart requires courage. The person who receives the message may have their own heart filled with unease.

Maybe, both are thinking: “What should I do?”

Coming out is such an important occasion. It can, perhaps, change a relationship forever.

Some will welcome warmth and hugs. Some others will get their first taste of homophobia. Yet some others will find neither.

After a queer person came out to their friend, they got, in return, “Don’t worry. I’ll still treat you as a friend.” It made them uncomfortable for a long time. But their straight family and friends didn’t understand. How could this be not a kind thing to say?

What is gay-friendly? What is homophobic? It appears that everyone has their own standards. The same words and behaviours transmit warmth to some, deep offence to others.

So, when we’re talking about “homophobia”, what are we talking about?

To commemorate this years #517 IDAHOBIT#, the Beijing Queer Chorus interviewed its tens of members and their relatives and friends, in hopes of investigating the difference in perspectives between homosexuals and straight people. How can this barrier be crossed, how can they work together to take care of the valuable relationships.

In the stories of all interviewees, a warmth like this can be felt: even with the risks, there remain those who are brave enough to display their true self; even with the misunderstandings, there remain those willing to keep the secrets of others, willing to learn to understand a whole new world.

We condensed these stories into an original, animated musical short, Safe Haven.

We hope every boat riding the winds and waves can find a harbour to unload their secrets. We also hope every person has enough gentle strength to be the safe haven for others.

We offer our best wishes to every queer who lets their heart be seen ~ may your courage reap its rewards.

We thank every friend and family who have treated these hidden matters of the heart seriously. You make the world a better place.

#pie metas #lgbt #pride 2021

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thefirstknife · 3 years

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You know, I think it's worth noting to everyone involved in this Osiris Whitewashing fiasco that, racism in its most benign and "harmless" forms is still racism, and it is still harmful. Just because someone is sweet and kind, it does not give them a free chance to be met with "Oh, it's okay, we know you're sweet!" when they perpetuate racist tendencies.

Small, "benign" racist tendencies are just as important to call out as people deliberately whitewashing characters like Nessa.

Did TCB clearly make a mistake when making Osiris's skintone too light? Yes. Do we think they intentionally whitewash poc when making art? Clearly not, look how well she draws Saladin and Shaxx!

But does this erase the culturally ingrained issues from society that seep their way into everyday behavior? No. This issue is not just an American one. White people and light-skinned people may not even be aware of it, but many of them react ever so subtly differently to darker skinned people, be it not chatting with a black family checking into a restaurant while chatting with a white family, or taking a light-brown skinned character and brownish-golden eyes and giving him light skin and blue eyes.

On that note, it's also worth nothing that one piece of concept - and that word is important: concept - art does not grant one the excuse to ignore the official canon material of the product. Let's say, for example that one piece of concept art for Saladin or Ikora showed a version of the character with white skin before the official design was approved. Would it be okay to draw them like that, knowing full well what the official material is?

To double down on the idea of "I did not make a mistake, you are wrong," when presented with proof and actual screenshots of Osiris, to claim that whitewashing didn't happen to what I believe is THE most whitewashed character, to have previously drawn him with blue eyes, to defend this action with selective picking of one piece of official render in tandem with one piece of concept art over the plethora of examples provided and excuse said actions, it's beyond childish.

Let me finish with this, for all to see:

If one stands against ableism and sexism in a community, but remains silent and actively combats those who stand against racism and transphobia in a community, it puts plain for all to see what affects you and what you care about. If trans voices do not matter to you, if poc voices do not matter to you, but you staunchly defend against ableism and sexism, it lays it all out. It is a white and cis mentality, and it's all too common in fandom spaces, online social spaces, and everywhere else. And we are tired of it.

It's especially egregious when said people have "TERFS DNI" in their bio. Are we sure they don't need a mirror?

And to you, Bel, thank you for making sure everything is sourced and cited, and for standing against racism and transphobia.

Posting this as is because it's important.

#ask #discourse #thanks for putting this so well together

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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Thinking today about how often people point to criticism of fic or specific fics even for problematic content as being rude or unwelcome because of the effort the author put into making that work and because that merits respect.

Okay.

Sure.

Let’s go with the idea that effort merits respect and this should be weighed when examining criticism of content for its depiction and how those depictions make people feel about their own lives and intersections with the stuff being spotlighted in a story.

But problem is you know what else requires a lot of effort?

Living lives that are impacted by racism, transphobia, rape, pedophilia, abuse, etc.

So while people are busy holding up the singular efforts of fic writers in creating a work of fiction as sacrosanct and insisting their feelings and comfort should be centered and prioritized in all examinations of that work and the things they said.....

They’re simultaneously not giving a shit about the efforts of people living real lives impacted by all this stuff in actuality, which directly relates to.....how a fic’s depiction of these things made them feel and their comfort.

And why is that not centered? Why does that effort it takes to LIVE in spaces where these kinds of issues are not set pieces for a drama meant solely to entertain, why is that not being held up as being as important in terms of comfort and respect as the comfort and respect of the writer who made the choice to not only depict these things in this way, but to center this type of content at all, especially if done so in the name of entertainment specifically.

Like no group is a monolith, there will always be intracommunity issues in terms of some people impacted by a work disagreeing with how the writer chose to approach things even when they’re all working off of their own respective lived experiences and have just as much right to their own take on things, like, no take is one size fits all and what’s right for one perspective can be wrong for another even while both perspectives have validity......but its disingenuous to pretend like this is even USUALLY the case in a lot of these discourses.

The bigger issue has always been the lack of respect from people who want to play with certain depictions of reality as though they can be divorced from reality and just live on the TV sets in peoples’ brains while reading and writing fic with no other consequences whatsoever, towards people who can not ever be truly divorced from the consequences of the reality of these things as they play into their own lives, regardless of how they’re depicted in fic. With the additional issue of those fictional depictions often being extremely formative and influential in how people whose lives aren’t already directly impacted by various issues perceive and interact with these issues.

Less talk about the imaginary specter of censorship in this specific venue and what this has always actually been about.....the equally-frightening-to-some-people specter of creative responsibility. Where creative choices people make are weighed by a creator not just for their potential ENTERTAINMENT value for audiences, but equally for their potential harmful impact on audiences. As words, fiction, storytelling, MESSAGES....are nothing more than tools that can be utilized to more than one purpose, and as such can harm or help in equal measure. Like not to be a blunt instrument, but you can feed your family with a hoe and a yard, but you can also bash someone’s skull in with that hoe and bury them in that yard. *Shrugs* Just saying.

Like what if you viewed people criticizing your work not as an attack on you and your efforts, but simply an expression of “I dont like how your words made me feel.” What if it wasn’t about your ‘rights’ as an author to do whatever the hell you want, and more your impact as a person, and what actually is it you’re trying to do?

If someone says your story hurt, and not in a good, catharctic way but in an invalidating or exploited way, and your concern is less about your not-actually-in-question rights or ability to impact others however you want to, and more about what that impact actually IS....what happens then if you look at that criticism as a person sharing their vulnerability with you and saying “this is why what you said hurts”....and if your reason for writing is truly to ENTERTAIN, and they’re no less a person deserving of entertainment as any other reader, why not take advantage of that voluntary admittance or expression of vulnerability and harm to learn how NOT to do that with your next story.....and voila, by doing something differently next time due to having just listened to what didn’t work for someone, you’ve.....actively enhanced the entertainment you create for people overall?

And like I said, no group is a monolith, people don’t actually all need the same things or respond in the same ways to the same things, and you’re never going to be able to please everyone but the real question is are you even TRYING or are you happy to just rest on the comfort of like-minded individuals and circle the wagons at even the hint of someone challenging you to broaden your mind, your circle, open it up to more people, more feedback, more viewpoints, more PERSPECTIVE?

What if instead of people saying “this hurts” in response to something you write, you don’t take that as an attack, as someone saying you’re a terrible person for hurting me and you will never be anything but that so draw weapons and let’s engage in combat, its the only choice.....

What if instead you view it as a challenge, as someone saying “okay but is there a way you can tell your story and entertain not just the people you were already entertaining, but MORE people, by finding different story routes in the future that still include all the entertainment value you sought out initially but avoiding pitfalls of potential harm now that your eyes have been focused on where more of those pitfalls might be lurking, that you didn’t notice on your previous go-round”?

Like, one approach tells you to hunker down in your bunker, draw on already existing fortifications to bolster yourself, and not move from where you already are and now feel under siege. Just less, same, still.

The other approach encourages you to level up, step up your game, engage with people more, make your stories more accessible and more enjoyable to more people in general. Just more, more, more.

But I mean, hey, you pick.

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777horns333rats · 3 years

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trans OCD, doubt, and the internet

11/30/2020

tw, doubt, dysphoria, a bunch of other crappy trans related problems

today i made the very moronic decision of posting a tik tok venting about dysphoria today. i received multiple comments from 16 year olds telling me to “google tocd.” what i found in the results was honestly very dangerous.

doubt is something i’m very familiar with, having been in the closet for 19 years. while presenting as cis, the innermost thought that was the backdrop to everything wasn’t necessarily “im in the wrong body” but more “something is wrong, and i feel like nobody knows me.” the thought “am i transgender” was constantly followed up by my very conscious follow up thought

“no, you aren’t transgender, transgender people are in pain all of the time, transgender people don’t question it, transgender people face so much bigotry and pain, you don’t want to face all of that bigotry and pain do you? even if you are transgender, you wouldn’t want to transition because you like dating men too much, men will never want to date you if you transition.” (i haven’t transitioned yet, but from what i know so far that last anxiety isn’t really true at all.) sometimes these purposeful counter thoughts would last for so long that they started getting pretty weird and meta. things like “if you were transgender, you are somebody who is so honest and doesn’t care what other people think, you would have already transitioned by now!” which is hard to make sense of in retrospect.

after coming out, and presenting as a woman, i don’t necessarily have these long battles with myself as often anymore, but i’d be lying if i said they went away entirely. its much easier to spot what my true feelings are and what is surpression now, but i still have moments where i’ll think, “what the fuck am i doing?” i think addressing this doubt head on is something that is really overlooked in the trans community, but is really important, because being trans isn’t about following a checklist, but following your authenticity. without doubt, how are we going to be sure if something is right for us? i still have doubt from time to time, where i’ll think maybe i am some form of nonbinary, or just a feminine man, it’s easy to tackle these thoughts as now i approach them with no fear, knowing the answer to them will not be a challenge to deal with, as i have already dealt with coming out as a woman.

here’s where that tik tok comment comes in. tOCD, or Transgender Related OCD, is not related to being transgender, but actually linked with OCD, with a fixation on transgender identity. i read a few stories from people with this and felt overwhelmed with shock at how similar these stories felt to mine. lying awake at night combatting the question “am i transgender?” feeling an immense sense of fear or dread along with the idea of transitioning, or “becoming transgender,” and the thoughts being triggered by certain random things. these things all felt very familiar to my experience, as my thoughts of being trans before i was out were not at all happy. that is the common difference i kept reading “for transgender people, these thoughts bring them joy, make them happy, and do not cause distress or make them try to combat these feelings.” this description of trans experience was not at all similar to my experience, this made me increasingly fearful that i had gotten it all wrong.

i threw myself into a rabbit hole. i read forum after forum, i tried to analyze a scientific study, i read blog posts and discussion boards. i do not often spend my time on the internet on forums with neurodivergent people, or in neurodivergent spaces, though i am neurodivergent, it doesn’t impact my life in many major ways so i do not seek those spaces, but finding a lot of tOCD forums, there is a MASSIVE amount of transphobia hidden there. while there are 100% cisgender people with tOCD, it looks like to me a lot of closeted trans people (or eggs) have co-opted that space in order to talk down their own thoughts. this makes the few tOCD forums that exist a dangerous mix of people assisting each other through their intrusive thoughts, and eggs spewing transphobic rhetoric in the comments of confused and nervous people. this was absolutely not healthy for me to see, and if you are going to do research yourself, i recommend checking in with yourself and your triggers, because it is really difficult to find the distinction from what i’ve found.

i can report, i am a woman. this is something that is unwaivering through all of my forms of doubt. this is something that is a truth regardless of my thoughts, and regardless of my feelings. before i knew this though, my thoughts were not at all joyful when trying to find out this discovery. discovering i was a trans woman this whole time, meant i had been spending the past 19 years of my life, in a sense, lying to the people around me. it had meant i was spending my life up to this point, dormant, or not being my true self. it had meant i was going to have to go through expensive treatments, therapy, and oppression. all these thoughts of me being a woman were clouded entirely by overwhelming fear, so no, i didn’t feel happy when my thoughts approached me, in fact i felt nothing but overwhelming dread, and a desire to push those thoughts away.

living as a woman and embracing my gender identity has proven to be nothing but helpful, and has made me feel nothing but more confident and true to myself. the truth is always behind the panic, and when it comes to your gender identity, there’s very little reason to panic.

heres a link to the random quora answer that helped calm me down, i recommend you read it if you are having any anxieties : https://qr.ae/pNikpp

#trans #trans girl #tocd #trans doubt #dysphoria #transgender ocd #trans ocd

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lampsabout-moved · 5 years

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The Persona 3,4, and 5 Rewrite FAQ Masterpost

Everything under the cut! Including my plans, current fics, and spoilers for all three!

Persona 3 Rewrite, titled “Pull The Trigger” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18834676/chapters/44696302) -Hamuko is the main character, and protagonist! She does all the major plot important things, cause it’s what she deserves. -Minato is not excluded though! He is still a part of S.E.E.S, and is a senior student. He takes the role of the Navigator. His Persona is Eurydice, to mirror Hamuko’s Orpheus! -Fuuka is no longer the team’s Navigator! I’ve reworked Lucia into a battle oriented Persona! She uses the nuclear skills from p5, and has a big fuck off sword. -Yukari/Hamuko/Aigis RIGHTS! -Minato/Akihiko RIGHTS! -More LGBT Rep! -Not as many social links, mainly cause i’m not a big fan of the P3 SL’s, keeping the party members and a few favorites. -Both Elizabeth and Theodore are included, with the added addition of Theodore staying out of the Attendant fight. They are represented by the Temperance social link. -Shinji still dies, sorry! -Ken isn’t used in combat as much, cause he’s 9. Same with Koromaru. -Operation Babehunt? Don’t know her! The gang meets Aigis when Hamuko spots her on the beach. -The Awnser’s time loop isn’t just hand waved??? It’s def more explicit with (SPOILERS), Metis’s whole deal of being Aigis’s Shadow? -Little stuff, like Pharos ending everything conversation with “Time Never Waits”, Hamuko using ultimate personas after finishing social links, Rio’s inclusion, Hidetoshi’s exclusion, Fuuka being trans, etc, etc Persona 4 Rewrite, titled “Part The Fog”! -First off, Kanji is mlm, and Naoto is a trans boy. Those are the stories that Atlus wrote, but refused to follow up on. Naoto’s arc is about accepting himself as trans, Kanji’s is about him recognizing himself as gay. -Kanji is now the Navigator! Featuring a redesigned Take-Mikauzachi! Rise takes his role as an active party member. -Soukanji rights!!! Yukichie rights!!! Naorise rights!!! -Yosuke, Yosuke is bi. His social link itself is about overcoming his internalized biphobia and homophobia. It’s not his shadow’s main focus, but it’s a part of it. -Rise’s shadow is no longer a pole-dancer! her shadow takes the form of a clown like Rise, putting on a LOVELY carnival (her dungeon) to get people to look at her for who she really is. She finally takes off her make-up in the boss fight, splitting into a bunch of different rise’s and begging her to tell her who “The Real Rise Is?”, kinda like P4TA. -Adachi is dead. Full stop. He does not come back for P4AU. -Speaking of spin-offs, Kanami Mashita! After the events of P4D, she gets a Persona of her own, Laetitae! -Biggggg social link changes. A disguised Kanami, Amnesiac Labrys, and Sho all apear as Social Links. Kanami being The Hanged Man, Labrys being Strength, and Sho as the Moon. Other SL’s changed accordingly. -Marie is still present, and is more integrated into the story. She is one half of Izanami, and willingly erased her memories after seperation. She herself carries Fog with her, and appears...off. She has a too-long shadow, her smile’s a little too wide, her eyes a little too yellow, rain seems to follow her. -Teddie is not a perv character. He’s close to the plot so I couldn’t write him out??? But he’s not as pervy as he is in canon, just a flirt. Also Teddie’s Bi, so jot that down. -I really liked the concept that Rise’s non “Risette” personality was harsh and aggressive? So she’s really rough around the edges when she first meets the IT, only warming up to them after her dungeon is completed. Think Severa from FE13. -Overall, a lot more actual truth finding, a lot less homophobia and transphobia. Persona 5 rewrite, titled “Invitation To Freedom”! -this is the one im most excited for HOLY S H IT -okay so, -redesigns for everyone’s phantom thief attire. especially the girls. Ann’s design is more like, a mix between her persona and Shego from Kim Possible? If that makes sense? Less dominatrix, more cutesy evil queen. (Makoto is more knight like, but is still spiky like a biker, Futaba resembles a video game merchant mixed with a tech super villain, and Haru is full on Musketeer.) -MORGANA ISN’T CREEPILY INTO ANN. NO MORE ANN BEING CONSTANTLY SEXUALIZED. G O D -speaking of Ann, her entire awakening scene is reworked. No more writhing for my girl. She still kicks the sword and kills Cognitive Ann tho. -Pegoryu rights!! Shihoann rights!! Okujima rights!! Kasutaba rights!! -Akechi joins during Kaneshiro’s palace, along with Makoto! Makoto gets herself in too deep thanks to her being over-protective, and Ren folds, saying that they need someone with detective work to help them, and as much as he hates it, Akechi’s probably been onto them for awhile now anyway. -Akechi is still the traitor. -There are not one, not two, but three players in Yaldaboath’s game! Whose’s the third player? Kasumi Yoshizawa! -Kasumi actually has her own team of Phantom Thieves! They interrupt The PT’s antics the palace, messing with them in Mementos, being rascals. her team includes Hifumi Togo, Sho Minazuki (the weird uncle who followed her into the metaverse), and an OC! (She’s currently based oN Hatsune Miku because I do what I want.) [This was inspired by a tumblr post I saw once,] -When I say that Kasumi messes with the PT, I mean like. They have this elaborate plan to steal Madarame’s treasure, but whoops! Kasumi has already swiped the thing and is a making a break for the exit! -Along with the standard chapters, smaller ones will be added to give the reader Kasumi’s perspective! She is also a wild card. -Goro lives and has a palace, sorry atlus!! -That one scene where Ryuji gets beat up for scaring everyone? Not fucking happening babey! -All those extra cells in the Velvet Room? there are only three! This is how Kasumi and Ren figure out each other are Royal (Codename still pending) and Joker. Miscellaneous

-I am currently in the process of adding more Personas and Demons to a growing roster so I can give each Arcana an even amount! Most info on the actual Personas, their skills, and the associated Social Links, can be found here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1uHJv26RnGryvx_yhfzloPzIQUAB_cYOtwyzWGAxKdlQ/edit?usp=sharing EDIT: i completely forgot that most of the new personas im adding are from Bayonetta!

-also im indecisive so uhhh help me decide P4 protag and p5′s protag’s name!

https://www.strawpoll.me/18128738 (P4)

https://www.strawpoll.me/18128740 (P5)

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aroacemonster · 5 years

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I have a q abt the ace discourse, would you consider straight ace/aro ppl part of the lgbtq+ community? I genuinely want to know what you think since all i see rn, is a lot of exclusionst shit from the community talking about not allowing straights within their spaces which includes straight aro/ace ppl

I do consider all aspecs to be part of the lgbtq+ community, including straight aces and aros. I’ll try to give summary of my reasoning.

what even is the lgbtq+ community?

Exclusionists claim that the community is only for combating homophobia and transphobia but anyone who has any knowledge of the community’s history will know that the only group who has never faced exclusion from the wider community is the gay community. Trans exclusion was still wide spread during the late 90s/early 2000s. History doesn’t support the idea that the community was built around homophobia and transphobia.

The truth is that the lgbtq+ community is formed out of solidarity between the different smaller communities included within it. The lgbtq+ community is what you get when the lesbian, gay, trans, queer, etc. communities decide to pool their resources together and support each other because even if our individual experiences are different, the source of our ostracization is the same: cisheteronormativity.

By these standards anyone who isn’t cis or straight should be included, which brings us to the next question

what even is a straight person?

Obviously someone who’s attracted to the opposite gender. However, exclusionists seem to think that aspecs who use SAM and feel some kind of attraction are also straight I think we should discuss this a little bit further.

From what I’ve gathered there are two different ways exclusionists confuse aspec identities with straightness and those are 1) misunderstanding asexuality as a preferance and hence not a sexual orientation on its own and 2) devaluing aspec identities and experiences.

The first one doesn’t interest me and isn’t relevant to this discussion. Anyone who still thinks asexuality is “just not having/wanting sex” can be ignored since they aren’t talking about asexuality.

The second one is the one I’d like to focus on. Exclusionists who think this way don’t see aspec identities as having any inherent value in our sexual orientation identities. For them our “true“ orientation is whatever other kind of attraction we feel. For asexual people their “true“ orientation is their romantic attraction and aro people it’s the other way around.

Since in their minds aspec identities don’t hold any value, it’s logical that they’d think that straight aces/aros would be the same as being a straight person. Needless to say, this line of thinking is rooted in heteronormativity. Exclusionists who use this line of arguments usually seem to think that aspecs are straight until proven otherwise (either by showing attraction towards the same gender or by not being cis). Aroaces are naturally ignored until someone else brings them up. To these exclusionists aroaces might not be straight, but they still aren’t included.

What this line of thinking ignores is the very real and important part of all aspec identities: lack of attraction. What unites all aspec people is that we don’t feel some form of attraction towards any gender and while exclusionists think this is not inherently valuable when considering someone’s orientation, the fact is that our lack of attraction defines our orientation just as much as the attraction we might feel.

Now that that’s out of the way, lets finally talk about straight people again. Straight people are attracted to the opposite gender. However, unlike aspec people, straight people do not experience the lack of sexual/romantic attraction to any gender. I’d also argue that straightness is a position of power, which necessarily excludes anyone who doesn’t fill the narrow definition of being only attracted to the opposite gender, including all aspecs.

So to conclude this mess, anyone who isn’t cis and straight should be included in the community and aspec people aren’t straight people. Therefore all aspec people should be included.

#ace discourse

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nonbinarypastels · 6 years

Text

About & FAQ Page

This page was last updated on July 31, 2018

About nonbinarypastels

This blog was created to combat REG (reactionary, exclusionist, gatekeeping) politics in the LGBTQIA+ community as well as other forms of harmful conservative rhetoric that’s become so common on tumblr through the spreading of positivity and information based posts. My goal for this blog is not only to validate and support LGBTQIA+ people (and people of all marginalized identities) but also to encourage people to be more accepting of others, more able to think critically about all issues, and more passionate about making a positive difference not only in their own lives but the lives of those around them.

What I post about

Positivity — Not only nonbinary positivity but positivity for all LGBTQIA+ identities and other people as well.

Social Justice/Politics

Mental Health/Mental Illness

Critical Thinking Skills

Fandom/Media

Miscellaneous Other Topics

If you’re only here for positivity

Please blacklist the #not positivity and #discourse tw tags.

Things you should know before you follow this blog

This blog is inclusionist. I believe that all aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m also firmly against other exclusionary rhetoric that seeks to exclude any non-cishet (by which I mean non cisgender, heteromantic, AND heterosexual) group from the community.

This blog supports creative freedom and a safe fandom environment. I don’t care what kind of fiction people write/read or what they ship as long as all of their content is tagged properly and kept in appropriate spaces. While I think media criticism and having civil discussions about what we’re writing and reading and why is a good thing, I think the ‘anti’ community on tumblr totally crosses the line with their behavior which goes beyond legitimate media criticism and straight into cyberbullying and harassment.

This blog does not support radical feminism. Radical feminism is a harmful conservative movement that harms and attempts to control the lives of marginalized people. I do not support any form of radfem rhetoric.

This blog does not support trasnmedicalsim or truscum. These are groups that actively harm trans and nonbinary people by pushing reductionist, transphobic rhetoric and policing the identities of trans and nonbinary people.

This blog is queer positive. I will not censor the word queer or exclude queer people from this blog or the community.

Please do not send me messages

About any medical or life-threatening emergencies you might be having. I am not a doctor and cannot give medical advice and there’s also no guarantee I’ll be online when you send your message. If you’re in a life-threatening situation please contact the relevant local authorities (either 911 or your country’s equivalent) or get to a hospital immediately.

Calling out people I reblog from or who are reblogging from me about anything having to do with ships or fanfiction. As stated above, I don’t care what people ship or write/read as long as it’s properly tagged and not posted in inappropriate spaces. Any messages I get about “so-and-so ships ___” will be deleted.

About anything having to do with MAP discourse. I am a CSA survivor and am generally not comfortable discussing or reading about MAPs.

Telling me that a-specs “aren’t actually lgbt” or anything similar. You will automatically be blocked for being an aphobe.

Saying there are only two genders. You will automatically be blocked for being boring.

Asking me questions that have already been answered on this page. I made this FAQ for a reason. Any asks I get containing questions that I’ve already answered (or asking for definitions of terms that are listed in the glossary) will be deleted.

———————————————————————————— General Questions Do you have a question about what a certain term means?

Please check the glossary page to see if I have a definition already listed. If the term you’re looking for is not in the glossary, please feel free to send me an ask about it.

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930687066/glossary-page

Are you feeling down and need to be cheered up?

Please check the self care tag for posts you might find helpful.

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/self+care

Why do you put image descriptions on your posts?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165370079304/can-i-ask-why-you-provide-image-descriptions-i

Who is that in your icon?

Deadpool from Marvel comics

Icon by http://www.wadewicons.tumblr.com/

Do you take requests?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930396816/requests-page

Who are you/what is your main blog?

Considering how nasty I’ve seen discourse about the identities I’m trying to provide positivity for get and the things I’ve seen other blogs similar to this one having to deal with, I’m not comfortable disclosing the link to my main blog. I value my privacy and my safety and I hope my followers can respect that.

What are your pronouns?

Any pronouns other than it/itself are okay. I have no other preferences.

Are you a minor?

No.

Can people who aren’t nonbinary interact with this blog? Can cis people?

Anyone, nonbinary or not, is allowed to follow nonbinarypastels and reblog from us. Not only am I okay with cis people following this blog and reblogging from it, I 100% encourage them to do so. I think it’s important that not only do LGBTQIA+ people support ourselves and those who ID the same as us but that we support people of different identities and just as much I also think it’s vital for cis people to show that they support us. I think cis people reblogging positivity posts for people who aren’t cis is an excellent way to show that.

Can I interact with this blog if my blog is about ___?

I don’t care if your tumblr is 99% cute crayon drawings of pretty flowers or drawings of kinky furry porn, if you like the posts here or need them or want to spread the positivity with your followers I have no problem with you following + reblogging from this blog.

Can I share your posts on other sites?

Feel 100% free to share my posts on Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. Credit + a link back is appreciated but it’s not required. However, please do NOT upload my posts to sites such as redbubble, storeenvy, or other sites where you’ll be selling them to others.

Can I use your posts in moodboards/aesthetics posts?

Yes!

Where do you get the pictures for your image posts?

https://www.pexels.com/

http://www.unsplash.com

Why the pineapples?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168615228296/hello-ive-noticed-your-recent-posts-about

——————————————————————————- Call Me Out Would you like to tell me that the term ‘a-spec’ was stolen from autistics and that it’s problematic to use it to refer to ace/aro people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162255685756/hey-idk-if-you-were-aware-of-this-but-you-have-a

Would you like to tell me to stop including the ‘I’ in the LGBTQIA+ acronym?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161388049611/you-do-realize-that-like-a-lot-of-intersex-people

Would you like to tell me that butch and femme are lesbian-specific words and no one else has the right to use them?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169789232996/nonbinarypastels-since-i-keep-getting-anons-wrt

Would you like to tell me not to use queer as an umbrella term?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165557176711/hey-uh-sorry-if-this-is-too-much-to-ask-but-dont

Why are you intolerant towards conservatives?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169509757921/being-an-intolerant-jerk-about-conservatives-and

—————————————————————————– Questioning Do you have tips for figuring out your gender identity?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160444273391/any-tips-to-give-to-help-someone-to-figure-out

Is it okay to use they/them pronouns if I’m still questioning my gender and might be cis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162316760041/i-feel-comfy-using-theythem-but-i-dont-know-if-im

I want to question my gender but I’m afraid I’m faking it all?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169375568051/hi-i-always-thought-i-was-a-cis-guy-but-ive

———————————————————————————– About Being Trans + Nonbinary Are nonbinary people trans?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160443055731/do-you-consider-nb-to-be-a-part-of-the-trans

Am I still agender if I have feminine interests/hobbies?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159863843416/i-identify-as-agender-but-i-also-like-girl

Can you be lunarian and agender?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159119628926/can-i-be-a-lunarian-agender-or-does-that-like

How do you deal with nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161289280081/tw-transphobia-tw-ableist-slur-tw-r-word-do

What do I do if my friends are nbphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161290197211/one-of-my-best-friends-is-a-radical-feminist-i

What’s the difference between being nonbinary and being a tomboy?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170485614676/im-having-a-mild-identity-crisis-whats-the

Can you be nonbinary and prefer she/her or he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170449570882/hi-im-someone-who-identifies-as-non-binary-ive

Are nonbinary people to blame for trans people not being taken seriously?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161287284091/how-do-you-respond-to-people-who-say-nbs-are-the

How do I deal with people saying nonbinary people are responsible for trans people being made fun of?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/167977849726/hey-i-got-some-really-messed-up-enbyphobic-anon

Is trans day of visibility for nonbinary people too?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159055092686/sorry-if-this-is-stupid-is-trans-day-of

Is there any proof there are more than two genders?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170985650804/sgaprivilege-sonoanthony-hatingongodot

Do you think it’s fetishizing for people to say they’re attracted to nonbinary people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170815582801/whats-your-take-on-the-claim-that-mlnbwlnb-are

Am I still trans/nonbinary if I didn’t always know from a young age?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169845692030/hi-okay-so-im-trans-nonbinary-and-i-noticed-that

Am I still nonbinary if I never want to come out?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169159856571/can-i-still-be-nb-if-i-dont-plan-on-coming-out-to

How do I overcome internalized nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169128988716/do-you-have-any-tips-on-overcoming-internalized

What can I call the nonbinary person I’m dating other than boyfriend/girlfriend?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164729025088/hi-i-dont-know-if-you-guys-answer-questions-but

What’s your opinion on “there are only two genders” jokes?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169533948384/hey-i-was-wondering-if-you-might-be-able-to-give

Who is allowed to ID as nblm/nblw/nblnb? Do I have to have a certain alignment to ID with these terms?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175370970607/hi-im-a-asexual-biromantic-agender-person-and

———————————————————————————- About Presentation + Dysphoria

Do you have any tips for dealing with dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171870400516/urgent-im-a-non-passing-pre-everything-trans

What’s the difference between social dysphoria and body dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171770067231/whats-the-difference-between-social-dysphoria-and

How can I write about trans/nonbinary characters who have dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163261302706/hello-there-nonbinary-questioning-black-anon

How can I bind safely if I can’t afford to buy a binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160277656876/hello-i-came-here-because-i-wanted-to-ask-if-you

Do you have any advice about buying your first binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171412780521/advice-for-somebody-who-is-getting-their-first

How can I look more androgynous?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160850193236/do-you-have-any-advice-for-nonbinary-teens-who

Is it normal to want top surgery but not want to take T?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168600610588/is-it-normal-for-a-nonbinary-person-to-want-top

What can I do if I hate my voice?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169110950161/hey-i-am-non-binary-and-14-years-old-i-was

I want to change my hair but I’m afraid people will hate it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166569911301/hey-i-recently-came-out-as-non-binary-i-really

—————————————————————————— About Sexuality How can you be sex-repulsed without being asexual?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159348049986/how-can-you-be-sex-repulsed-but-not-asexual

Can you be in a queerplatonic relationship if you’re not ace/aro?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171758800972/can-you-have-a-qpr-if-youre-not-acearo

What’s the difference between demisexuality and regular attraction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160198336046/whats-the-differrence-between-demisexual-and-just

Is pansexuality transphobic/biphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160201643591/hi-i-just-want-to-tell-that-i-heard-someone-say

Do bisexuals have straight-passing privilege?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163139939492/hey-there-i-was-wondering-if-you-can-help-me

Can you be asexual and still like masturbation?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171408739131/so-i-was-wondering-could-you-be-asexual-and

Can you be wlw and mlm at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171269548272/hi-im-confused-this-is-a-genuine-question-pls

Can you be nblw, nblm, and nblnb at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171158368762/i-identify-as-a-nblw-nblnb-and-nblm-is-that

How can lesbians use he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170496057755/this-is-an-ignorant-question-so-i-apologize

What is the split attraction model?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169931000321/hello-i-was-reading-that-post-about-asexual-stuff

———————————————————————— About Coming Out

Are you looking for coming out tips and encouragement? Please check my coming out tag!

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/coming+out

Is it okay to come out to my friends before my family?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160086167706/i-am-trans-and-came-out-to-one-of-my-friends-who

How do I explain being nonbinary to my parents when they just don’t get it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

Do you have any advice for coming out as nonbinary?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171342286106/hey-any-advice-on-how-to-come-out-to-my-dad-as

How do I come out to my parents?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170782185301/hi-i-identify-is-non-binary-and-i-know-for-sure

How do I get my parents to use my name/pronouns and accept me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

——————————————————————————

Fandom & Fandom Discourse Related

What is an anti?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171868269706/what-is-an-anti-i-had-always-heard-that-anti

What have antis ever done wrong?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171966569929/shipping-isnt-morality-block-report-program

How can I deal with antis who are harassing me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171974140371/hi-sorry-to-bother-you-i-was-looking-through

Do you support pedophilic ships?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170196527876/wait-you-support-pedophilic-ships-thats-gross

What’s your opinion about MAP discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171209629491/so-what-do-you-think-of-maps-then-the-ones-who

If you’re not a bad person, why do you like bad things in fiction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164750728921/about-your-post-on-how-liking-certain-fiction

What is purity culture?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169710243376/do-you-know-whenhowwhy-purity-culture-started

What is your opinion on RPF?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175123194126/i-wasnt-able-to-find-anything-on-your-blog-about

What is fujoshi discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/174877862940/i-just-saw-someone-reference-fake-fujoshi-blogs

——————————————————————— Misc. How do you handle ignorance?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160627538536/how-do-you-handle-ignorance-im-too-scared-to

What’s an invisible disability?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163099887223/hey-i-have-a-quick-question-whats-an-invisible

What is TERF/radfem rhetoric?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169015697831/on-radfemreg-rhetoric

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171664946546/ed-tw-i-guess-mmmm-since-i-was-young-ive

What’s the difference between being squicked and being triggered?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171341992144/um-so-ive-been-wondering-if-feeling-physically

How do you deal with bigots?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170516017459/exposure-to-identities-really-is-the-best-way-to

Why can’t someone be both anti-SWERF and anti-kink?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170011993907/hey-quick-q-feel-free-to-ignore-but-i-had-a-post

When was gay used as a slur?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166431435436/hello-i-just-saw-your-post-that-i-think-was-from

How do you find out about the free samples you post?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163522947367/hey-this-isnt-about-anything-nonbinary-but-i-was

What is your opinion on self-diagnosis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175045406707/what-are-your-thoughts-on-self-diagnosis-ive-been

#about page #faq page #mod post #long post

94 notes · View notes

browngirlwisdom-blog · 6 years

Text

“Hurt People, Hurt People” on Junot Diaz’s piece on Silence & Childhood Trauma by @BrownGirlWisdom__

Cw: sexual violence, mention of suicide

I've had some time to process Junot Diaz’s piece on silence and childhood trauma. I laid in bed, listened to the audio recording because I really had no energy to visually read it. If you have not read it, find the article here. In the presence of Sexual Assault Awareness Month and the #MeToo movement it is quite the time to really invest, revisit the reality of sexual violence and how it impacts folks of color. Many points resonated with me in his piece. My intent is not to discredit the pain, trauma and courage it took for him to be vulnerable in a patriarchal world that is not kind to vulnerability. I intend to provide my reflections as a survivor, a recovering Catholic, Mexican identified, non-Black, queer girl on masculinity, mental health, sexual violence, the familial structure as potential toxic site and religion as an oppressive institution that were brought up in Junot Diaz’s piece.

Interrogation of Catholicism as an Oppressive Structure and Tool of Conquest

What happens when praying isn't enough?

Religion is not always the cure for mental illness. Junot states, “Of course, I never got any kind of help, any kind of therapy. Like I said, I never told anyone. In a family as big as mine—five kids—it was easy to get lost, even when you were going under. I remember my mother telling me, after one of my depressions, that I should pray. I didn’t even bother to laugh.” First, families of color just do not have the language to put into words what depression is so they resort to calling us “locas/locos” and tell us to go “pray” which continues to stigmatize mental illness within our community. I often think about how religion is usually the mode of “healing” for many. It is important to interrogate how religion can be an oppressive force. Specifically in the context of Catholicism on the island of the Dominican Republic, Junot Diaz in an interview states that it is important to critique, be more “transparent” about the “syncretic” religion that has a history rooted in the plantations and a dictator as he states in a Youtube interview titled “Junot Díaz talks religion, Dominican identity, and writing.” on his reflections on The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wilde. He advocates for a democratic Dominican Republic and states he is “not here to comfort anyone”. Religion, specifically Catholicism has a history of being used as a tool for manipulation, coercion, displacement, forced assimilation of native folk to whiteness and enslavement of Black people. Religion then becomes a place of isolation, dehumanization, ostracization and massacre. Catholicism has been used as a form of indoctrination of the gender binary and gender roles. Which again, reinforces the dichotomy that men must always be strong and women must be fragile and passive. I feel like many of you who really rely on religion as a form of healing space please take this in slowly. I do not suggest to completely get rid of religion in itself because I used to rely on Catholicism as a form of escape and healing. Now I identify as a “recovering Catholic” for many reasons of my own. I will push us as a community to continue to think about the role of Catholicism as a hegemonic force that continues to uphold much of the systems that hurt us as a community. How can we push the church to recognize its power, misuse of power as an institution, as a socially accepted religion as opposed to practices rooted in the Quran, Santeria, Brujeria, and other spiritual and religious practices? Religion is not always a cure for mental illness within our community, especially given it’s violent history. Connecting this back to sexual violence, what happens when the church demonizes sex, promiscuity without taking into account sexual violence and it’s history of abuse of power? What happens when praying isn't enough?

Addressing Rape Culture

All this to say that sexual violence exists within our communities and we must not remain silent or complacent in rape culture. Here are ten reasons why rape culture is so bad in the Latinx community according to Mala Munoz in “10 Reasons Why Rape Culture is So Bad in the Latinx Community”. These are some of the reasons: the risk of deportation, difficulties seeing sexual assault for what it is, age and generational trauma, lack of family support, family unity takes priority, community supports the perpetrator, lack of consequences and accountability for abusers, negative responses are psychologically damaging, lack of support means high likelihood of revictimization, and survivors forced to create their own support system.

Accountability Now: Men of Color Need to Hold Men of Color

Boys and Men of Color Create Spaces to talk Masculinity!

I also believe that Junot Diaz’s piece is a start to a conversation that men of color should start to invest more time in their feelings, trauma, healing so we can collectively combat systems like the patriarchy, misogyny culture that continues to silence us and enables us from being our authentic selves. Junot Diaz describes his sexual relationships and failed relationships with women which is important to note. We must think about how Junot’s promiscuity and act of using women to move along the world with his trauma was harmful. I think that this is also an opportunity to talk about how men of color need to take accountability of the trauma they cause women of color, while having experienced trauma. Men of color should be having a conversation among themselves about the realities of toxic masculinity and trauma that womxn of color have to experience due to the lack of spaces that allow men of color to work through their trauma. Men of color should hold space for other men of color to be vulnerable. In short, men of color hold other men accountable and make space for each other to process and own their experiences and be honest. And womxn of color should not have to be there to process, but the reality is that many womxn of color do do that emotional labor to support the men of color in their life. So men of color, if you have womxn of color in your life that love and support you, say your Thank You’s.

Womxn of Color Can We Stop Making Excuses For Men of Color

So I also invite womxn of color to reflect on how we possibly navigate the world internalized and how we can move beyond that to really challenge these larger structures like sexism

We as womxn of color need to also stop apologizing for men of color. Internalized patriarchy and misogyny that convinces us to continue to protect and hold delicately the men of color in our lives. And the reality most of of us are not in a place to do that work due to violence we have felt from men of color and/or we can potentially put ourselves in a violent situation due to retaliation. All these concerns are real. Where do we start? Connecting with each other and building solidarity among one another and not pitting against each other for men of color that treat us like trash and waste basket for their toxic coping mechanisms. So I invite us womxn of color to reflect on how we possibly navigate the world internalized and how we can move beyond that to really challenge these larger structures like sexism, patriarchy, and misogyny. Have a conversation among each other. Check-in with each other at a family event, work space, within academia, in the streets, at a party setting and etc. We also need to address transphobia that is deeply embedded in our culture. I invite us to think critically about the gender binary and not only support our cis-ters but all of our sisters. Just like...”We deserve more complexity in these narratives. As corny and played out as the phrase is, it is true that hurt people hurt people. One can both be a survivor and a perpetuator of harm, especially if their trauma compacts with patriarchy. I would love for more attention, gratitude, credit, agency and space be given to those women who helped or loved or were hurt by those hurt men along their way, especially Black women. We deserve it.” as stated by Briana L. Urena “In the darkness men leave behind the women and emerge in the light clean and free”.

Moving forward:

I appreciate Junot Diaz’s vulnerability and became very emotional closer to the end since again, I resonated with a lot of what he expressed. It became sort of a mirror to feelings I have been carrying within myself. I also imagine how men of color can use this as an opportunity to lean more into their vulnerability. Of course, Junot Diaz is not free from critique but also it is a honest way to reflect on his reality to hopefully begin to own the harm he caused along the way. This becomes a larger conversation around addressing rape culture within our community, cultural stigma and inaccessible mental resources within the Latinx community, the need for informal spaces for men of color to address toxic masculinity, and for women of color to invest in each others wellbeing. How can we move forward with Junot Diaz’s vulnerability to change the culture of silence among the Latinx community? This is a start and I believe a platform to address sexual violence, mental health, and religion is always vital and much needed moving forward.

And I still have questions, so I ask: What is the impact when our Latinx families keep trauma silenced? What does it mean when we are unable to unpack what hurts us and who hurt us? What does it mean when we continue to uphold and reinforce toxic structures that lead many of our community members to call it quits? Where do we start? How do we move forward as a community? Towards a more healing and nurturing place? How do we take into account inequities that our communities face and also hold each other accountable for the damage we may have inflicted? How do we hold space for one another? Who should be holding that space?

Finally, I end with this quote by the one and only Gloria, “Why am I compelled to write?... Because the world I create in the writing compensates for what the real world does not give me. By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. I write because life does not appease my appetites and anger... To become more intimate with myself and you. To discover myself, to preserve myself, to make myself, to achieve self-autonomy. To dispell the myths that I am a mad prophet or a poor suffering soul. To convince myself that I am worthy and that what I have to say is not a pile of shit... Finally I write because I'm scared of writing, but I'm more scared of not writing.”

Resources:

http://ocrcc.org/the-intersection-of-sexual-violence-and-disability/

https://www.amnestyusa.org/pdfs/mazeofinjustice.pdf

https://berkleycenter.georgetown.edu/posts/colonial-history-creates-religious-syncretism-in-the-dominican-republic

https://www.schoolhealthcenters.org/healthlearning/boys-and-young-men-of-color-bmoc/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/03/16/feminism-glossary-lexicon-language/99120600/

https://eji.org/history-racial-injustice-sexual-exploitation-black-women

https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault-men-and-boys

https://transequality.org/issues/anti-violence

#junot díaz #sexualassaultawarenessmonth #sexualviolence #mentalhealth #mentalillness #writersofcolor

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uncanny-tranny · 2 months

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from one nonbinary person to another, i’m so sorry about that ask. some people really just can’t seem to be fucking normal abt nonbinary people for some reason and it’s horrible. wishing you the best, and i hope you have a good day/night/whatever time it currently is for you. ^_^

I appreciate your words, and I want to assure people that, while unfortunately, I am accustomed to this sort of stuff, I still appreciate the community outreach.

I don't typically post that sort of stuff, but it's important to me that we recognize, address, and combat all forms of transphobia. While trans people as a whole are in an often unfortunate circumstance, there are still hurt people who perpetuate supremacist ideas about transness. Lateral aggression isn't just bad because it is bigotry done unto another, but also because you separate yourself from any other community and help. You hurt yourself just as badly as the people you seek to hurt.

I need fellow trans people to never tolerate any lateral aggression in any form. It will never serve you. It will never serve the trans community. You are doing the dividing and conquering for the people who want to see our demise.

I know you, anon, didn't come for me to write you an essay, but it's important that people don't just dunk on the previous anon and learn nothing from it. We need to learn how to be in community with each other.

#ask #anon #transphobia #transphobia tw #exorsexism #exorsexism tw

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singwhenyoucantspeak · 6 years

Text

So, I’m seeing a lot of ace discourse on my dash today, which is an odd coincidence since this is a topic i had a very long in depth conversation about yesterday with another friend. While I often reblog posts to signal boost information about asexuality and particular experiences of acephobia, I realized I have never really made a post or spoken up about it myself. With this in mind, I have decided to post a summation of the comments I made to my friend yesterday to let you all know what my thoughts are and why I personally believe we need to fight against the acephobia present in our community and support ace and aro people of all positions on the spectrum. That said, I don’t really feel like going through and editing everything I said yesterday, so I apologize if the following has tone issues or spelling errors etc, I’m just copying and pasting what I said in this conversation. I also want to note here that I myself am not on the ace/aro spectrum, I am lesbian/queer. The question posed to me was basically what is my stance on the discourse, and this is some of my response:

I'm against gatekeeping. Ace people of all romantic orientations experience oppression from normative society. Inter LGBT+ community prejudice is strong between all sectors. Biphobobia, transphobia, and even lesbophobia are extremely prevalent as is sexism from gay men and yet we HAVE to work together as a community. Are some ace people who are heteroromantic homophobic? Probably but a lot of gay people also do homophobic shit and I've read enough and seen enough in the world to know ace people are oppressed by heteronormative society even if they are heteroromantic, and the same goes for aromantic people who might be heterosexual. But, tbh many many ace people are also aro and a lot of the non ace community wants to pretend like that's not a thing and that since they don't experience any same sex attraction they should get out of the community, which is stupid. There are also hetero trans people so using same sex attraction as the measuring point or definition for belonging in the queer/LGBT+ community doesn't work anyway. So yes it sucks when anyone the queer community does something prejudice or holds prejudice views and there are ace people who do, but they are still not privileged in society and to say they are is to ignore multitudes of proven life experience which is VERY dangerous for all kinds of reasons.

And we as a community HAVE to form coalition regardless of what inter prejudice we have or else we CANNOT combat the current heteronormative hegemony. We have to respect each other and work together if we want to destroy the system that is oppressing all if us, even if sometimes it sucks. But tbh I've seen wayyyyyyy more shitty acephobic lesbians on here and actually not a single homophobic ace person so yeah that's just one instance of my personal experience but I think gatekeepers exaggerate the problem they bring up and need to look at their own selves and their own ability to listen to others with empathy. Because unfortunately we all rely on society learning to listen to us with empathy. Even with coalition there is not enough of us to change society without straight allies and how can we be so hypocritical as to expect religious heteros to put aside their beliefs and listen to us with empathy and change their views if we cannot do the same within our own community.

Also I think maybe it's important to note that my stance on this issue wasn't made based on Tumblr discourse alone. I actually came to this position while taking the queer theory course in my last year of undergrad and reading a bunch of scholarly work that also discussed this so I'm not just randomly jumping on whatever train my favorite blog is on... If that makes sense. I point that out not to be elitist about academia, but because I think that there is a common occurrence on Tumblr as well that people just pick up whatever stance on an issue that a blog they admire holds, I've in fact even found myself guilty of that, so with something this fraught with conflict I think it is important to self reflect and make sure that's not what I'm doing.

I've also noticed a pattern in which many acephobes are also transphobes. And I think it comes from this paranoia of thinking that cis straight men are trying to infiltrate our community for some reason... Tbh I don't understand it. It's the idea that trans lesbians are really straight men in disguise and in a similar way ace people are really straights in disguise... It's so problematic and unnecessary.

I've reblogged quite a few pieces of writing on what oppression is like as an ace person if you're interested in reading some of that, I will include links to some resources at the bottom of this post. Because they do experiences a very different kind of marginalization than lesbians or gay men, so I think sometimes it's hard for monosexual L/G people to quite understand.

But I also want to make it clear that being ace is NOT an excuse for doing homophobic shit. So I'm definitely not advocating to not call out homophobia when you see it. Just that we should be addressing it on an individual bases in terms of individual actions, not advocating to exclude an entire group from our community out of fear that they might have prejudice.

i'm also just gonna add a couple things: there is definitely a difficulty in the fact that ace people and sexual queer people want and need very different things and that creates problems when trying to make a space that is safe and inclusive of both. Because queer people do not have the freedom to express their sexuality in heteronormative spaces so they rely on queer spaces to do that but sex repulsed aces can then find those sexualized spaces to be very hostile environments. The problem is that telling queer people not to express their sexuality in every queer space because it is hostile toward ace people IS homophobic. we need both kinds of queer spaces. Because queer people NEED a space to safely express themselves and their sexuality. But ace people and also younger queer people need the non sexualized safe spaces as well so we need BOTH. and people don't seem to be able to wrap their heads around the fact that it doesn't have to be either or. Ace people need to self police and know when they are going into a space that may not be comfortable for them, but at the same time queer people need to recognize the importance of having equal opportunities of safe spaces that are not hypersexualized. it's hard because there are so few opportunities for physicals spaces for us in GENERAL that it seems almost impossible to guarantee we are providing for the both, and the easy out is to just decide to exclude someone. but while that is an easy answer, it's not a good answer.

at the same time, again it gets very very complicated with relationships. some of the reports of acephobia on that lists I have linked I think need more detail because i do not believe a queer person who wants a sex life should be forced to be celibate because their partner comes out as ace. That is a case in which two people find out they want very different things, and while it sucks, a relationship is likely not going to work out. BUT, the way that that is handled is what makes the difference between it ending up as acephobic or not. and tbh I've been thinking a lot about this and I think part of the problem is that asexuality is so unkown. it really needs to be a conversation before the relationship gets too serious, but a lot of ace people do not know they are ace before they've ended up in a serious relationship. so the fact that ace people continue to get broken up with BECAUSE they are ace is a symptom of acephobia, not because their individual partners are necessarily acephobic, but because the system forced them both into that situation in the first place.

tbh I think the solution to is, is actually sex positivity, which needs to be understood as NOT the same thing as the forced/hyper heterosexuality that the media enforces now. I mean as in open conversation about sex and sexuality and sex education. I think part of the problem is that because the dominant christian culture is so weird about sex, there is a lot of argument toward ace people of "Oh you're not ace, you are just repressed and need to learn how to appreciate sex. sex is weird for everyone at first, but you get used to it and learn to love it, you just need to give it a chance." I think it'd be helpful to get rid of that weird ass christian repressive culture because then it is more clear that asexuality is a real thing and that a person's awkwardness toward sex due to a sexually repressive religious upbringing is in fact NOT the same experience as people who do not have sex drive and do not enjoy sex. because a sexually repressed person who feels that way due to christian upbringing can and will learn to become more comfortable with sex (I AM CASE IN POINT) but an asexual person CANNOT and trying to force them to is very harmful/painful for them.

So yes, it's a shitfest of complicated issues, but that is just my take on it. also aphobia and biphobia sometimes go hand in hand due to this issue: https://singwhenyoucantspeak.tumblr.com/post/157331442151/straight-couples-shouldnt-be-at-pride so just another thing to think about. In the end, I’ve noticed that most gatekeeping heavily relies on heteronormativity which is like the exact thing we are trying to dismantle.

Links to resources:

this one has a LOT of info, especially if you keep reading down to the bottom with the tons of links https://singwhenyoucantspeak.tumblr.com/post/163230928631/its-all-a-fucking-joke-right

i don't know a lot about the blog posting this but seems like a source of more info https://singwhenyoucantspeak.tumblr.com/post/127991052391/bhryn-asexualthings-asexuality-is-an

https://singwhenyoucantspeak.tumblr.com/post/103997214821/prettyarbitrary-oreides-pungeon-mistress

also this an example of why from the standpoint of representation etc. ace people need our support https://singwhenyoucantspeak.tumblr.com/post/156705124231/how-is-riverdale-queerbating-and-ace-erasure

There are probably more posts that I have reblogged with more or better info but this is what I could find since i never tagged any of it. Also, if any ace/aro people have input they want to add or want to discuss anything I said please feel free to sent me an ask, a private message, or just comment on this post.

#long post #asexulality

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cute-trans-people · 7 years

Text

Mod Frankie here.

In light of the stuff that got posted last I’m going to post an in-depth response, but I’d like to start it off with saying; I do not agree with Ash. I am trying to remove him from the blog as we speak.

This is gonna get long, so I’m posting under a read more.

Hey, @ashthenerdiestnerd here’s a long response. Go fuck yourself and get the fuck of my blog please.

I have deleted the original post as well as the ask Ash answered, but I will keep up the second thing he posted at least temporarily.

I don’t agree with anything that Ash posted. I haven’t spoken to him since March and he has only ever posted 4 things on this blog, I don’t know why the fuck he hasn’t removed himself from it yet.

I don’t think that you need dysphoria to be trans. The only requirement to being trans is identifying as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth. Being trans is not a disorder. The DSM-5 explicitly states that it is not a disorder.

The myth that non-dysphoric trans people (and especially nonbinary people) are taking away resources and from “actual” trans people is bullshit.

I’m also going to be responding the the asks he deleted here (I get emails for all asks and I will be copying and pasting from there)

@thecreepycrow

"To be tran, you need to have dysphoria" is probably one of the more ignorant things I've hear in the last week. No, no you don't. There are nonbinary people who have little to no dysphoria, those people are still trans. There are people who are born a biological sex and ID as a different gender but have zero issue with their actual body and don't feel the need to medically transition and just look however they'd like. Being trans is not that cut and dry in a lot of cases

I agree completely. If you look back on the other things posted on this blog I have always and will always support all my trans siblings; with and without dysphoria.

Anonymous

Why have you betrayed me like this?

I assure you that I don’t agree with anything Ash said and am getting him removed from this blog as quickly as I can.

Anonymous

good to know your blog is trash! thanks for being open about it, at least. transphobia is transphobia and theres no excuses. i dont have to cut myself up for your fucking benefit.

I’m so sorry for what he said, I would’ve thought it’d be apparent that this blog as a whole does not agree in any way shape or form with truscum beliefs.

Anonymous

Hey, just a reminder that being trans in not a disorder, that a lot of dysphoria is due to society not accommodating trans people and varying trans narratives. Some trans people have dysphoria, some have euphoria, some have neither or both; the defintion of trans is not identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth, and thats the only qualifier. The only person that can comment truely on persons gender is that person

Very well put! Gender euphoria is often overlooked in discussions about being trans, but I think it's very important in combatting the idea that being trans is just suffering.

Anonymous

Wasn’t honestly going to say anything but it’s important. I’m going to be unfollowing. I have been trying to find positivity. That post was negativity and I don’t honestly want to see more of it. Trans people shouldn’t have to hate themselves to be trans. If they say they are a bit then take that and know that they are a boy. Getting surgery won’t make them cry and say “I’m not female enough” just because they didn’t hate themselves before doesn’t mean they’ll hate themselves after lol

I understand unfollowing. I try to keep this blog as positive and discourse free as possible. I’ve deleted that post and am currently trying to do some damage control before going back to the regular schedule of posting.

Anonymous

then why the hell post this here? This is supposed to be about positivity, not telling people who don't want to go through bottom or top surgery that they aren't valid for ANY reason they might want it.

I know and I’m really sorry that got posted. I would’ve deleted it immediately, but I was asleep.

Anonymous

it was rlly hurtful seeing transphobic stuff on this blog, is ash gonna be kicked off?? pls do bc most of what he said isnt even true! being trans is cool! dysphoria sucks yes Ok but u cant be negative and be "being trans is constant suffering and pain and if u dont feel that ur not a real Trans" like thats not even useful or helpful, also; many cis ppl can feel dysphoria (not to b confused w dysmorphia) and they cant be trans just bc they have dysphoria? idk but i dont want him on this blog thx

I’m trying as hard as I can to get him off this blog, but from what I remember he lives somewhere where its like 4am right now so he hasn’t responded to my message.

Anonymous

im actually super glad for that response to that post... as a transguy i literally can not fathom someone not even experiencing SOCIAL DYSPHORIA (which is literally just wanting to be seen as your actual gender and not your assigned gender). I personally experience strong physical and social dysphoria and if someone doesn’t experience even a mild form of either of these.... they arent trans. If you dont want to be seen as your “true gender” (for any reason other than safety) you arent trans.

Hey, kindly fuck off. I don’t want you following this blog. This is a positivity blog and that post was uncalled for. I don’t want truscum or transmedicalists following or interacting with this blog at all.

#mod: frankie #dont reblog

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ask-artsy-oncie · 7 years

Text

Thoughts on “Genderbending”

Long post under the cut

Recently I received a couple of anons (one of which was very rude and used slurrs, the other which was less rude but was still angry and more accusatory rather than informative) telling me that “genderbending” - which is something I recently did and have been doing from time to time with Branch and Poppy from Dreamworks’ Trolls and also something I do regularly with Klonoa from the Kaze no Klonoa series (neither anon specified) - is inherently transphobic. I can kind of see where this argument comes from, but at the same time, I had never heard this before.

I have, however, heard something incredibly similar: that the term “genderswapping” is transphobic because it implies a binary, where as “genderbending” or “rule 63″ are more appropriate terms because it implies more than two. Now, I don’t deny that I may have used the term “genderswap” before just purely on accident. I’m genuinely sorry if I have done this, because as a nonbinary person, myself, I don’t seek to reinforce a binary. Please point me out to any time that I’ve said it and I’ll edit it immediately. I will be more conscious of it in the future.

But yes, as I’ve said, I’ve never heard this argument before. So, I decided to look it up. I found discussions about it from both people who’s sidebars on tumblr state that they are transgender people, and from the transgender community on reddit (and no, one website does not represent one side or the other, I just want to be clear that I’ve checked more than one demographic, more than one platform, because I wanted to be informed by group discussion of the matter rather than one person writing some kind of article on it). Now that I’ve looked into it, and why people from both sides feel the way they do, I have some feelings of my own on the matter, again, as a trans individual, myself, and as an artist.

There are a couple of reasons as to why I’m making this its own post. One, because now that I have some specific opinions on this, I’d rather just address everybody instead of responding to an angry individual. Two, because these were, again, anons. I don’t know who these people are, if they were looking just to get a rise out of me (I must thank you, though, for drawing my interest to the topic!), or if they genuinely cared about the topic. I don’t know if they’re a cis person or a trans person, either, and I feel the need to say this before going any further: if you are a cisgender individual and feel the need to not only police but talk over and ignore the feelings of a transgender individual on a transgender issue, you are being very transphobic. Please, if you are a passionate cisgender ally who cares a lot about an issue that concerns transgender people, do not come to a transgender person with accusations, and instead maybe ask for my thoughts on the topic, why I do something the way I do, and look to educate yourself on the topic and how some trans individuals feel about it. (And respect the fact that there are topics that trans people have differing opinions on!)

Getting that out of the way, I suppose I’ll just get right to the point: I do not 100% agree or disagree with the statement that genderbending is transphobic. I lean more towards disagreement, but there are some things that keep me from full on, strongly disagreeing, and feel more like this should be handled more on a case-by-case basis.

For instance, I do see how this can be seen to reinforce a binary. Once again, I don’t think that any terminology such as “genderswapping” that outright implies a binary should be used. In addition, because “genderbending” more often than not refers to “sexbending” and not actual “genderbending” (because sex and gender are two different things), I can also see how many people do not like this term, either. I admit to not having thought of this, before, but my decision to continue to use the term “genderbending” comes from the popular use of the term: many people who do not wish to see this in any form will blacklist the term, and I’m not going to stand on some high horse and say “well I call it ‘sexbending’ so you should automatically be okay with it!”. If someone doesn’t want to see it, I shouldn’t stop using a term they’re going to blacklist (similarly to how some people started typing stupid variations of “j/o/n/tron” (i.e. “jonathan tronathan”) and my blacklist wouldn’t pick it up. I don’t think certain term switches like this are helpful at all). This doesn’t mean that I don’t acknowledge and recognize how problematic these terms are, and I will continue to push for the idea that sex and gender are two different things, because I do feel strongly about that. Just please know that any future uses of the term “genderbending” actually refer to “sexbending”.

It is really a vague, grey area of what genderbending truly refers to. While I use it in terms of sexbending, there is also an idea that genderbending refers to the transformation of “cis male” to “cis female” or vice versa. I don’t 100% approve of this, and it depends on the situation the characters are put into. If someone is going to make an alternate universe where “everything is the same except some characters are a different sex” fine, I’m okay with that, and I don’t really see a problem with that, in both instances a character starts cis and in this AU is cis, starts cis and in this AU is tans (because sex is different from gender). Instances where a character starts as trans and in this AU is cis is pretty gross!!!!! because it erases trans identities, please don’t do this. But, going from cis to cis, I don’t consider transphobic, because there is such a thing as cisgender people, and nobody is erasing any trans characters just because they keep a cis character cis.

Then there are also forms of genderbending where a character undergoes a magical transformation, and openly acknowledges that in this universe, said character had previously been a different sex. There are trans people that are against this because they believe it grossly oversimplifies the transitioning process, and there are other trans people who are totally fine with this, myself included, because it allows many trans people to fantasize about a reality where characters (specifically trans characters) do not have to undergo surgery in order to transition. This is especially apparent, I’ve noticed, in trans individuals who cannot undergo surgery (and want to) due to either financial or health complications. Please remember that genderbending happens within a fiction, a fantasy. Allow trans people to fantasize, too, please.

Transformation genderbending can be used incorrectly and problematically, though. There are cis people who ignore the idea of gender dysphoria entirely, and make cis characters who magically transform into cis characters of a different sex, and that isn’t okay, because, again, I feel that this is erasure. I want it to be well known that I am guilty of this a total of one (1) time, about five years ago, and it was due to ignorance (I wasn’t even aware of most trans identities at that point), and in all honesty, I’m working on rewriting a lot of aspects of the story that that occurred in. Every other form of transformation genderbending that I’ve done (both online and offline) has addressed gender dysphoria. Another problematic version that occurs in both transformation genderbending and just genderbending in general is fetish artwork. There are many, many (SO MANY) examples of genderbending that includes changing body types and major features of a character (i.e. making a character unreasonably curvy, getting rid of muscles, adding an obscene amount of muscles, making a character skinnier, etc.) for the sake of making a character more attractive, usually to an audience consisting of cis people. It disgusts me as both a human being and as a character designer, and I always put a lot of effort into making a genderbent character design to make sure its still the same character, only just a different sex. Like, seriously, changing a character’s entire design or an important aspect of their design for the sake of making a genderbend “attractive”, call that out, because THAT’s not okay, for reasons beyond transphobia. Genderbending, I don’t believe, should exist for the purposes of fetishes (this is different from, say, drawing NSFW of a genderbent character, because sex doesn’t necessarily equal fetish, please be aware and think critically about what kind of artwork you’re looking at. Some fetish artwork doesn’t necessarily fall under NSFW either, so don’t be afraid to call something out just because it’s SFW) and genderbending shouldn’t completely change a character design.

And in regards to characters like Klonoa (because I have many genderfluid OCs and hc a lot of characters as genderfluid) I want it to be well known that as a genderfluid individual, I use genderbending to help fantasize about transition/cope with gender dysphoria. It occurs in works of fiction, and maybe I just want my fiction to be ideal. I openly talked about Klonoa having gender dysphoria and not wanting them to suffer from disphoria when they live in a world with benevolent magic readily available. This is the main reason why I genderbend characters, and I actually encouraged others, both cis and trans, to genderbend Klonoa because of this idea that Klonoa is genderfluid. I also have genderfluid OCs who undergo transformation genderbending in order to combat dysphoria, like, this is just a common theme with me. I feel like it helps give more visibility to their gender identity and also gets audience members more comfortable with trans identities outside of the gender binary. I genuinely do feel like, if pulled off correctly, some forms of genderbending can actually be beneficial to the trans community because it can aid in breaking down taboos.

Overall, I do see genderbending as a grey area that can be pulled off terribly and problematically, and I don’t blame people for not liking it, but doing it for fun or even for fantasizing isn’t always a problem, and in some cases, can be beneficial to trans individuals, and are produced by trans artists. Be very conscious of source of artwork before calling someone out or their work out as problematic, because, chances are, you don’t know the whole story. At the same time, as an artist, especially a non-marginalized artist, please be aware of what you are creating and any damage it could possibly do. If you’re going to be writing a marginalized character (in a group you are not a part of, especially) do your research! Anyways, maybe this was spurred by an anon, but this has evolved into something I really wanted to voice my opinion and own personal experiences on. I’d really appreciate it if people took the time to read this! Thank you to anyone who stuck around and listened to what I had to say...!

#LONG POST #genderbending #genderfluid #transphobia #rule 63 #discourse #It took me about three hours to write this and I would really appreciate it if this weren't ignored...! Thanks!

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thedeadflag · 7 years

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Aren't statements like "anything you can do I can do bleeding" sort of inseparable from a "war between the sexes" style viewpoint? They might not be inherently transphobic, but it feels like they draw from transphobic ideas. I'm not sure why cis women are so defensive of little quips like that, because it doesn't seem like they ultimately say much of anything about women's bodies or menstruation anyway. I'm not sure what great benefit slogans like that have that makes them so worthy of defense.

I mean, they can definitely carry those connotations, for sure, but a hell of a lot of gendered language can, and Rome wasn’t built in a day. There are a lot of women oppressed by men that feel urges to speak out, and their clumsy education (if they have any) on trans and NB folks makes their efforts often rife with errors and false assumptions. Those need correcting, but while I feel challenging that is meaningful and important, some ways are more effective than others in creating meaningful change and understanding, and if folks have the emotional energy to manage a sense of patience and tactics (and not all will, certainly not consistently either), it will likely be better than other forms of criticism.

Like, I think it’s perfectly okay and understandable to be critical of it, to question the intent of using that language, to make sure folks are coming at things from the right angle. Because I’m sure a lot of folks DO approach it from transphobic angles, and they need to be made aware of that.

And yeah, I don’t understand the often exaggerated defensiveness, since virtually none of us are saying “you can’t talk about vaginas, vulvas, uteruses, menstruation, etc.”. We’re being critical of the lenses people use to understand and approach society in ways that exclude and miscategorize us via cissexism

Like, folks can talk about their bodies. And they should. As individuals, our experiences with our bodies, with our gender, with society, will all vary, and it’s imperative that folks have the freedom to speak about their experiences on a personal level. That’s a major way of combating stigma, just getting enough people talking.

And yeah, there’s not a great amount of progress to be gained from those slogans. With the right approach, perhaps some, but it’s pretty limited to an individualistic sense of empowerment, more or less.

I’m less concerned about going at folks hard for this sort of language, instead focusing my efforts on getting folks to learn about cissexism, and follow-up by making visible messages of inclusion. Because if folks learn about cissexism, then their views on those mantras and slogans will ultimately change for the better if they were structured around harmful ideas in the first place. I figure, there’s more to be gained by teaching via focusing on the core elements of our oppression than by focusing on tangential effects of people reproducing those core elements.

And with my history, my experience, I have the benefit of being able to take that approach a lot of the time. I respect that many others cannot, or simply do not want to.

But like, I’ll call out transphobia where I see it, but that example just wasn’t it, not explicitly/inherently, which was why I followed it up with an explanation of how it could be transphobic/cissexist, how it could cause harm, so that there could be some understanding fostered.

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stardyng · 7 years

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Fighting Internalized Homophobia

The most incumbent step to fighting internalized homophobia is to accept the fact that you have it and rather than reject the notion that it’s a problem. It’s important to to think in a critical manner about how it affects your day to day life and it’s crucial to be self-aware about your negative reactions, your self-dehumanization, your constant judgement on other people and your internalized stigmas. In order to fight it, you first and foremost need to understand it, which is why reading these pages about internalized homophobia and how it affects people is key. That’s not to forget that reading stories whether they be in the form of television storylines or just moving personal accounts helps. It’s also helpful to be informed about the community, its history, role models and all the people with different identities and orientations that helped progressed our society when it came to LGBT+ rights. Doing so adds a layer of sensitivity to your view on homosexuality, and such sensibility can contribute to getting rid of your internalized homophobia.

Having a positive social circle can help tremendously as the support and compassion of other queer folks and allies is extremely advantageous. The lack of negativity that was coming from previous groups will also contribute in making it much easier to accept yourself. I cannot stress how important it is to get away from toxic and bigoted influences despite the difficulty of doing so since often, these influences are extremely important players in our lives like friends, religion and family. In terms of religion, it’s important to note that if your church is not accepting then you should consider leaving it, or/and finding a more accepting and open church. However, if you cannot or do not want to leave then you should educate yourself on the true relationship between your religion and homosexuality whether it be that it truly does teaches the immorality of homosexuality, if it’s just a simple misconception or simply only what your religious leader teaches. If your religion and your sexuality cannot coincide as your religious doctrine constantly conflicts with your identity, I suggest that you reflect on whether your commitment to your religion is really rewarding you or damaging you.

For your family, you should just not harbor expectations on them getting it in order to avoid disappointment but it’s helpful to draw a line between what’s tolerable and what is rude, crass and disrespectful. For your friends, you can either also draw a line for them to not cross or you can find people who are much more accepting, open-minded and more positively influential to your mental health. However, regardless, what’s important is to have friends who make your life easier and make you happy, not ones who complicate, harden it and put you down constantly and the same can be said for boyfriends and girlfriends as having sensitive and nice ones can be surprisingly beneficial.

However, before acting, it’s important to clarify your perspectives as well as the ones of your friend’s and family’s about homosexuality as many people who suffer from internalized homophobia because of the supposed opinion of their social circle actually have a supporting surrounding that is open minded and inclusive. If your internalized homophobia reached the point of depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts, it’s crucial to find a LGBTQ or LGBTQ-positive counselor, psychologist or therapist who can guide you through your feelings revolved around your internal homophobia, and will help you manage to feel a sense of self-worth and positivity like you deserve to feel. Also, especially if you are geographically limited, than the Internet can be extremely helpful as it’s easier to build communities online rather than offline and much easier to find and befriend people who have similar struggles and identities as you but it’s also very essential to still be careful there.

Coming out of the closet can also be extremely fruitful to overcoming and getting rid of that internalized homophobia but only do it in safe circumstances. Despite the potential pain it can give and the exhaustion and repetitiveness of it all, it isn’t just immensely rewarding to come out but it can potentially help you suppress and vanquish your fear of rejection and telling someone who’s supportive can lead to a certain sense of validation given externally about who you are and what exactly you’re going through.

Like stated before, your perspective on your internalized homophobia and homosexuality are the two things that matter the most in order to combat your internalized homophobia. So, it’s rather critical for you to not blame yourself for having internalized homophobia and realize that it’s not created inside of you and rather to know that these espouses negative views were culturally programmed into you in a rather suffocating, toxic and violent way by our society so do not feel guilty or shameful for having internalized homophobia and instead of focusing on that, just focus on taking the necessary steps in order to clear your mind of the lies that our society has taught you and free yourself from the clutch that constantly tries to keep you down and weak.

In terms of your views on homosexuality, just knowing that there are no need for any cures since you are not sick and homosexuality is not an illness, that these negative stereotypes on homosexuality are not valid, that you are gay not by your decision but by things that you cannot control and that your homosexuality at the present is not something you asked like how you didn’t ask for specific eyes color, is not something you control but regardless, it’s a part of you that makes you perfect just the way you are is fine enough.

Other minor things that might help in fighting your internalized homophobia can be little things like freely viewing your fantasies in same sex romance on tv or in books, taking classes like sociology since learning about the different rules in divergent societies and the reason they were instilled might surprisingly help, doing little things to learn how to love yourself like going to workshops or repeating ‘’I love you’’ to yourself every day and being invested in things like what it is like to be a gay student in high school.

That’s not to forget to do things that you think are too feminine/masculine depending on your gender in order to be more sensible to people like feminine gay men and masculine lesbians, coming out to friendly people whom reaction may harbor no real consequence in order to work up courage and sometimes feel validated, being more informed about the LGBTQ community while maybe participating in things like a Straight-Gay Alliance club or a gay artistic, athletic or political support group or community service and not view homophobes as people with just another point of view but rather people who are scared and insecure on the inside, which is why they act the way they are.

Finally, in order for your internalized homophobia to not contribute to horizontal oppression, you should also remember than the outspoken and often visible queer and genderqueer folks were the ones that were at the forefront of the LGBTQ rights movement and are the ones who receive the biggest amount of violence and discrimination, that the visibility of these people was a key factor to the progress of the entire movement, understanding that judging and voicing discomfort on people gender expression or non-heteronormativity is a manifestation of heteronormative violence and transphobia so that you could respect the diversity that makes the LGBTQ community so different, so outstanding and so beautiful.

#internalized homophobia #problems in the lgbt community #lgbtq #lgbt #gay men #queer men #lesbians #queer women #gay #queer

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setabane · 3 years

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The Pride Issue

By: Cassim Cassim

For the past 2 years we haven't had the means or reasons to extravagantly celebrate anything due to the Corona Virus, or as the queers like to say it, ‘Miss Coco’. Besides the vexing and the scourging virus, queer people have been facing multiple extremities. South African queer people are under siege as killings have increased, 44 Ugandans have been wrongfully arrested during the first day of pride month. However fear breeds bravery and activism, this month we advocate and celebrate the lives of queer people and their bravery for existing. The past 2 years hasn’t been the biggest parade for anyone especially queer folks, but coming out to celebrate our identities and our communities is a breeze and a step forward to building us up again and the youth have inspired a lot with their dynamism and resilience, coming together and constructing a better bone for the community in Botswana. To celebrate pride season and the beatitude of self expression, identity and the exploration of intersectional identity beyond society's fetishisation of marginalised subcultures. Today we speak with two daring personalities that have produced the best works socially and have constructed a self image that inspires many others to celebrate themselves.

(Setabane) Introduce yourself to our readers and what you do?

(Leloba) My name is Leloba, I'm a student right now enrolled in a bachelor of science course.

(S) What does Pride mean to you and how do you plan on celebrating it?

(L) Pride is a celebration of all the possibilities of human love to me. As I grew up I realised there was more than one form of intimacy and that was kind of a fun but difficult thing to explore for myself. When I think of Pride it's like the celebration at the end of that journey? Or even a celebration of the courage it takes to go on that journey in the first place. It takes a lot of courage to seek out intimacy.I currently don't have any plans to celebrate pride at the moment, but being a part of this shoot felt like a little celebration of sexuality and gender fluidity.

(S) How would you advise other people to celebrate their authentic selves?

(L) My advice to people trying to celebrate their authentic selves would be do whatever you want man (as long as you're not hurting yourself or others). Maybe do something you've always wanted to do but have always felt too nervous to do it? Or even just do something classically you. Something you know brings you comfort and that you can enjoy on your own. Sit outside in the sun and remember that you're alive! Anything, just do you.

(S) How does modeling contribute to your self-identity and expression?

(L) I don't model often but when I do it's a chance to see myself from another view? I struggle with identity and self-love, so doing shoots is a way to combat those feelings sometimes? Seeing the finished product and being impressed with myself, or even still thinking I'm not model-esque or pretty or anything, those are important thoughts to keep track of too. So yeah, shoots are a chance for me to be vulnerable, as well as be a part of someone else's artistic expression. I love making art and being a part of art.

(S) What are the best things about being queer and in Botswana?

(L) Being bisexual in Botswana can be rough but it's also a lot more easygoing than other places in the world I'm sure. It's been awesome seeing queer culture really catch on with the younger generations. I know it would have been easier for me to find myself of queer culture and gender fluidity was more accepted when I was in my earlier years in high school, but yeah it has really caught in and its awesome to see.

Botswana is reaching the idea of queer in some places but not all.

(S) Pride is about awareness, about liberty and togetherness, do you think Botswana is reaching the idea of queer Batswana?

(L) Again the youth are really spearheading the movement I think, but there's still some resistance to change amongst the older generation. I think rights are still and issue for the non-hetero community, but even within that community like, no abortion, really? Botswana is pretty backwards in many ways and I believe there is still more to be done for the "idea of queer".

(S) Introduce yourself to our readers and what you do?

(Koketso) Koketso Richer is a 21 year old full time entrepreneur, part time stylist, social media enthusiast, plant lover and openly pansexual Motswana man who enjoys challenging existing societal ethics through fashion and style.

(S) What does Pride mean to you and how do you plan on celebrating it?

(K) For years, we as the LGBTQ+ society have been fighting an endless fight for acceptance by society. My predecessors have fought tooth and nail for the end of homophobia and transphobia, my community has been faced with a lot of challenges from HIV/AIDS to the killings and massacres of our brothers and sisters out of hate. To me pride means celebrating the people who came before I did. Pride means taking up space and demanding the respect and acceptance that we so deserve and letting it be known that we exist and we are here to take up space.

(S) How would you advise other people to celebrate their authentic selves?

(K) Personally I feel like people deal with issues of sexuality differently, my only advice would be to take as much time as you need to learn and explore yourself, you do not necessarily need to come out to anyone nor explain yoursexuality to anyone and just do whaever it is that feels right to you as an individual.

(S) How have fashion and image-making allowed you to express and explore your identity?

(K) My fashion and my style has in so many ways made it easy for me to take up space and have a seat at the table. The acceptance and appreciation from other creators and people on social media inspired me to be bold. I’ve found myself surrounded by open minded people who make me feel normal thus I no longer feel like an outcast.

(S) What are the best things about being queer and in Botswana?

(K) I honestly wish I had a list of things to say I love about being queer in Botswana, sadly that is not the case. We still have a long way to go in making sure that we get our appreciation, nonetheless I cannot undermine the efforts of organisations like LEGABIBO that have been fighting tirelessly for our rights. We have a long way to go but the difference I am seeing is promising.

This year, we stand to co-opt queer symbolism in social media to demonstrate and advocate the importance of queer visibility and to eradicate queer erasure in our country. Following the momentous case and enactment of the decriminalization of consensual same sex on 3 years ago. The rulling has affected queer people in Botswana differently. The community now needs to stand in solidarity to enact same-sex marriage, idenitfying other genders and so forth. This Pride is a call for action, a reclamation of the queer symbols that will unite the LGBTQ+ community. Albeit the coronavirus, Social Media is a powerful tool, a tool that can unite us all. Happy Pride Month Batswana! CREDITS: Photography: @wenz_hd Models: @thedesertexperiment @koketso_richter Editor: @cxsside Stylist: @archhanngel

#pride2021

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