#... but it does still hurt just as bad
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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Two different flavors of Durge
#vat (the drow) is basically just as bad as Orin is he’s just a bit more charismatic djdjdjdjjs#Dragonborn still needs a name- but he does not wish to hurt his new friends djdjjdjdjd he’s very worried about doing that#doodle#sketch#Baldur’s gate 3#bg3#bg3 astarion#bg3 shadowheart#bg3 durge#durge#the dark urge#oc#vat#(g. get it. cause vat is tav backwards sjsjjsjs)#tw blood#ask to tag#Vat’il
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controversial opinion but the change to big run scoring is really good and it should've been like this from the start. i love people being able to get the reward through effort instead of 95% of players being gated off of it arbitrarily in a gamemode that normally isn't competitive
#rambles#granted 135 is a bit low. almost everyone i know has gotten it first or second game#but it's low FOR US BECAUSE WE'RE THE 5%#and the main reason it feels low is because we *know* the score#the reason you had to haul ass in big runs before is because you had no idea what it was#but it really wasnt that much higher than this! the difference is that we know!#so there's no real incentive to haul ass until you get the best possible score which DOES hurt the enjoyment but#i still think this is a GOOD CHANGE altogether#plus double scales make big run more than worth it still. plus the fact that its just fun#the way it used to be was bragging rights for 5% of people and frustrating for pretty much everyone else. which is bad#theres incentive for more casual players to play now instead of feeling like theres no point
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I've seen things after SOTUS extreme actor harassment, I've been here through BMF "hate watching flashmob" and you know what, this year I will actually stop tolerating BL fans (at least on tumblr) who don't even have the decency to just ignore things they don't like and who think bullying someone is a good fandom sport, and start calling out. No matter if you believe clickbaits or you're a proud member of celebrity witchhunt or just don't believe people and situations can change, whatever, I really don't want to see KristSingto hate if - when - they will come back with another BL series.
Peraya fans have been waiting and hoping for KristSingto reunion for years, they wanted it themselves for so long as well, and we've unfortunately encountered way too many people who don't use their braincells and who encourage others to follow their footsteps when making derogatory comments about (mainly) Krist or Singto who they don't even know about, or their shows. For years. Some even go to talk shit and laugh right at his face. What the hell.
Maybe don't ruin someone else's parade and don't turn a nice community lake into a swamp. If you consider yourself a good person who can have an opinion "I just don't vibe with this person/show", watch it unbiased, be open minded and if you don't have a full picture, ask fans of the actual story or do research and read proper compilations about him instead of blindly stacking your opinions on repeated echoed insults from yt and tiktok. And if you aren't willing to be open minded and rational, well, let the fans celebrate and stick quietly to your swamp.
It's really no fun to gather around to discuss something and slip on poop piles thrown around for no reason. What happened to civil discussions?
#this might sound harsh#but i've watched many shows over the past few years and read a lot of opinions#and bl fans were vile for nothing about no other popular bl actor as much as Krist#all the snide remarks in metas and retold HoRriBle RuMoRs for someone who really does not deserve it#and who has been battling mental health for years already#it really became a popular witchhunt and the last year showed that people are still happy to engage in it#even when the extreme viewers pressure and harrassment is exactly what created an issue in the first place#people do deserve to be called out when they are being ugly to others#my heart still hurts for bmf tbh because it's a beautiful and well crafted meaningful show with good acting#but people ignored it because some popular accs decided to be bitch about it because Krist was in it#OR they wrote meta and excited fans had to read discussions enduring all the - ew considering Krist it is not too bad - posts#just ffs#why people still do it#there are amazing posts with explanations or updates or just showing how good of a person Krist is#why don't you read those first and form a proper opinion if you take time to hate on him anyway#kristsingto#krist perawat#singto prachaya#peraya
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I wish mental health services were more easily accessible and certain mental illnesses weren't still demonized in the field
#still pursuing a bpd diagnosis#but a lot of the specialists im seeing online are all like#have you been victimized abused or manipulated by someone with bpd?#and im like :(#ough im not ready to have ANOTHER heavily stigmatized mental illness#but despite that i still do hope i get diagnosed#i think it would explain a lot#and really help me work through my issues#before it gets to that tipping point#it already has come close multiple times just this year alone#i just... idk#i want to be better i want to get better#i dont want to hurt people anymore. i dont want to hurt myself anymore#it sucjs it really does#sorry for vent posting again#i just dont have anywhere else to go#and i dont feel comfortable talking to people about this stuff usually#everyone tells me i can talk to them but.. idk. its hard to do that. so many things can go wrong. i dont like talking about myself#i like for people to have a certain image of me. prefer people not to worry themselves over me#it brings bad feelings and associations sometimes#which if i have bpd can be thhe cause of that i suppose. just makes me feel insecure? ig? guilty? makes me feel like a bad person#when people try to get me to take care of myself. even if its a good thing#idk im just rambling#nobody take this in a bad way or feel discouraged in fact dont pay any mind to this#im just spitballing#will probably delete later#monnie rambles
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one of my favorite hobbies is in fact making fun of lestat because let’s be honest he does deserve it 99% of the time but then i start rereading tvl and suddenly I’m like….man he really went through so much, huh? he was really traumatized and taken advantage of over and over by both strangers and people he loved….like man he really was stalked, kidnapped, and forcefully made into a vampire against his will….he faced years of abuse from his father and brothers…..he witnessed the death of his only lover and before that his resentment and eventual madness….he really cries every other page and has 10 existential crises before he even becomes a vampire but he wants to be good he wants to be happy he tried to run away to the church he tried to run away with the theatre troupe he just wanted to act and love and be loved and at every turn he was done wrong and hurt and abandoned and nobody ever really helped him and I—
#like. not to be a lestat apologist on main but oh my god the horrors he experienced…..all alone……#I just kept thinking about the scene where he’s turned and he’s so scared and alone and he still chooses to say no and die human#he didn’t want this!!! and then he’s left all alone again and he’s dying and he’s in pain and#literally screaming and crying and then he has to see a pile of bodies that all look like him and then what????#he’s supposed to be the same person after all that?? like of course he’s got ptsd of course he’s got terrible coping mechanisms of cours#he acts the way he does because like how do you live with all that unless you turn it into something meaningful in any way you can#and for him that manifests as a god complex and controlling nature and enjoying all of life’s pleasures to mask#his crippling self loathing and fear of abandonment and intense intense trauma.#um. ….anyway…..sorry for lestat posting like this do you guys still think I’m cool#obvs not excusing the bad things he’s done but like……..it still hurts…….#to quote that one post I’ll always taking louis’ side in the divorce but….sometimes I stop and really thing about everything lestat has#been thru and like….I care him…..😔#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire chronicles#the vampire lestat#m watches iwtv
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Other trans people are not your enemy.
This goes for both trans women & fems and trans men & mascs. There are popular trans women twitter accounts telling young trans women that trans men do not care about them and simultaneously denying trans men face any transphobia, there are popular trans men on tumblr telling young trans men that trans women do not care about our oppression, pointing to the lack of talk about murdered trans men as proof.
And some of these points are fair, we should listen to each other more about our struggles. But you are making that difficult. Do you think a trans woman wants to listen to someone who accuses all trans women of hating trans men and not caring about our struggles? Do you think trans men want to listen to someone who says tells people that trans men are future terfs and will never care about trans womens struggles?
Are we not all just sides of the same dice? Are we not all facing oppression from transphobes? Terfs write books about how trans men are mutilating themselves and articles about predatory trans women in bathrooms, republicans fund legislation targeting trans surgeries and hormones, which affects all of us.
And even if we did not face the same struggles, why are we divided? Again, are we not all the same, simply trying to be ourselves in our own bodies? We can each talk about our own struggles, the difficulties we face and the joys we experience without the opposite being true of the other, infact more often than not it's extremely similar and I think we'd benefit from listening to each other more.
#transmisogyny#transandrophobia#trans separatism#because thats what this is really about im so fucking sick of the pervasive trans separatism i see in trans spaces#and both sides have had separatist movements and they use the existence of the other to recruit more folks driving us further apart#i dont want to get into conspiracy theory thinking and say the big separatist accounts are run by transphobes#because theyre not theyre just hurting trans folks lashing out but they are making it worse by hurting young trans folks#trans men who accuse random trans women of being baeddels are just as bad as trans women who accuse random trans men of being future terfs#like both groups are/were abusive as fuck what a great thing to wish on someone#hatred does nothing but cause harm honestly#also id like to point out that these separatist groups also harm the group theyre recruiting#baeddels notoriously drove gnc/nb trans fems away and the leader literally raped someone#transmasc separatists STILL use the most disgusting misgendering language about other trans men
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck
#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i#in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where#i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever#i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at#and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like#everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd .#just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up#not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until#i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg#the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was#i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different#well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl#i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool
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I was rewatching the christmas episode and I love the part where Davy says he uses a security blanket, I know it was just thrown in to be funny but it’s actually really cute to think about. do you have any thoughts on it or similar headcanons about him?
It IS really cute!
I do have some thoughts on it. Probably many. These are going to be very disorganized and probably a bit overwritten, I warn in advance.
There was an interview that irl Davy did right before he died when he talks about needing someone there while he sleeps and I know when he was little (still real life davy) he had a “security pillow”. So I kind of stick those into my headcanon of tv show Davy sometimes. I think he likes having human contact and obviously we know the boys have zero personal space so he gets lots of it from his monkee brothers.
of course I’m a sucker for little tiny baby davy because he’s totally a spoiled brat toddler sometimes and he’s a fricken cutie whether i like it or not but i have some little thoughts that go more along the lines with that as well as contributing to him needing human contact I guess.
throughout the show when davy gets scared he tends to cling onto people (see clinging onto mike’s arm in the adorable monkee bed, or clinging onto micky’s arm when they think peter falls off that balcony in some video for a song that I can’t think of right now. maybe for pete’s sake?) or he jumps into someone’s arms and they carry him away, or he calls for out for Mike (see the circus episode when the guy starts throwing knives at him. like honey, what is mike gonna do? he’s a skinny little scarecrow man. michael tries his best.) OR he gets all jumpy and overstimulated and then devolves into nervous little giggles (see the wild monkees episode when he thinks the biker is gonna kill him but it turns out she’s a girl and starts kissing him and he’s nervously laughing and she can barely hold onto him. he’s definitely panicky and overstimulated there.)
but basically i think that when davy’s scared, he kind of just turns into a kid in certain ways. He wants the security of someone there to take care of him. he’s all bark no bite. he acts all tough because he probably grew up needing to act tough or else he’d get picked on for being small, but now he’s got his friends to help him and i think it allows him to feel safer and to be able to rely on others more.
This connects a bit to another portion of davy’s real life that I connect into the show headcanon even though it’s clearly not meant to be within the written show. real life Davy lost his mom when he was young, and I sometimes think about the implications of if that had happened to davy in the show even though show davy has probably honestly never felt any real pain in his life. in certain ways I think that could be a reason he wants that security in the show, if he lost his mom.
I think this is a reason he clings onto mike, who’s very obviously the “protector” of the group (he’s their mama hen!! and they’re his little baby chicks following him around!! but i digress…) and mike has become a bit of a surrogate mom for Davy, and gives him what he lost as a kid losing his mom so young.
THIS IS SO SO LONG SO FAR IM SORRY
but mike being a mama to the boys, especially to peter and davy because i think micky’s more older brother type and they’re more of the “little ones” (don’t get me started on peter’s connections to mike. they run deep and peter is very much a very complicated kid in certain ways. he needs a lot of love and has deep down a fear of abandonment that i don’t think he even realizes he has, and mike is trying to help him through it. davy also helps with peter. they all help with peter, peter is so loved. anyway this is not about peter). Mike being the mama is so important to me and I love it so much and im gonna ramble about it so im sorry in advance (the monkees cuddling and making each other feel safe is so very important to me. they’re just my warm squishy comfort characters and i project everything onto them)
I made a post i think on my main blog about all of the monkees using mike’s big hands to stim with (people put davy as the “neurotypical one” but i don’t think he is. idk what he kind of neurodivergent he is but he’s something, he just conceals stuff well. i don’t even think he realizes or may ever realize. this is the 1960s we’re talking about) but I touched briefly upon my thoughts that davy just lets out his toddler energy when him and mike are on the couch and he just plops down in mike’s lap and grabs mike’s hands and occasionally bites them, but also grabbing his fingers and straightening them and stuff and making mike clap and things. Mike is just used to this at this point (davy is spoiled. don’t tell davy. he’ll deny it.) but sometimes it can be too much and I think mike has to set some boundaries about how much he can handle as a “mom” at points and Davy listens. In some of my thoughts I think Davy and Mike have known each other the longest (they just have that easy groove, i don’t know) and I think they’re able to talk well so mike can communicate if it’s just too much for him and davy’ll listen.
also Davy totally just parks himself in mike’s lap a lot and clings onto his shirt and just sits. Sometimes he just needs a nap or something and mike is warm and comfortable and davy knows he’s loved. The monkees full-group cuddle position on the couch watching the television is often peter and micky on either side of mike (pete sometimes sits on mikes lap but he’s a bit heavy and davy has a tendency to kick him off of it. davy be nice!). and davy on mikes lap and they’re all very sweet and nice and i love them.
i keep getting more and more thoughts im sorry…
one more thing i guess. davy wishes mike could pick him up. hes like a little purse dog and sort of internally wishes to be able to just be carried around on someone’s hip all the time. Mike has tried but it hurts his back. micky can do this a bit but davys just too heavy for him and he can hold him better carrying him “bridal” style like he does when davy gets scared in the show. peter is the only one who can really pick Davy up on his hip because he just doesn’t realize davys heavy because monkee logic, and davy is very startled by this at first because peter can just scoop him up and carry him around.
okay. that’s all. i’m gonna leave it at that. this post is so long, i apologize dearly. but i have many many thoughts so thank you for the ask anon!
#the monkees#davy jones#mike nesmith#peter tork#micky dolenz#anon ask#this post is SO self-indulgent#i’m SO SORRY that this is SO LONG#if anyone gets through this whole thing you’re a real trooper and i’m sorry if it makes absolutely no sense#i just have many thoughts that are a little too out there#but i still hold mike trying to mother them and everyone just being comfortable cuddling each other it’s just important to me#alright thank you thank you very much#my wrist hurts so bad from typing so much i’m sure this does wonders for my carpal tunnel
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detective comics #509
[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]
#THIS ONE !!!!#bruce and his neverending guilt complex#just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it#holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops ....#always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind#alfred of those days#he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares#like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there#(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares#about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself#(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up#for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself)#(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful)#this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol#but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself::#after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i#cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’#and like !!!!#it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay#and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!!#batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger#he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’#just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen#c: detective comics | i: 509#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#alfred & bruce#‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’#<- nightmare bruce tag <333
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thinking about rick admitting to only helping with the war because he wanted bp to respect him. and not realising the irony in admitting this and how it loses him that very respect
#WORST FUMBLE IN HISTORY.#birdrick#ok but genuinely. bp must REALLY care for rick to trust him still after like. EVERYTHING#i think they were close enough that bp can understand ricks motivation for doing things better than rick himself at times#(eg: rick not telling him abt his daughter)#so while bp may not agree with rick on a lot of things he still gets and respects Why rick does stuff#and same like vice versa#bp was able to put aside his hurt to tell rick to call him if he needs#and rick was able to root for bp at the wedding despite clearly hurting#etc etc#i think bp would have a good grasp on how rick could come to see everything as pointless#depsite not knowing abt the portal gun EXPLICITLY.#just as rick would have an understanding of why tammy and birddaughter mattered so much to bp#but i think rick gets wrapped up in himself a lot#him making like. the exact same mistake after reviving bp as at bloodridge is.. crushing#he just forgets. or like it doesnt occur to him in the moment that people might not want the same things as him#but ohhh man. it hurts so bad#rick doesnt hold any grudges toward bp it seems. like as much as he throws insults around all he ever does is try to support bp#like even w bloodridge it seems more that his avoidance was due to being embarrassed of what he did#BUT. memory rick thinking bp is the asshole. implying again bp thought at least for a while that rick rlly hated him for it#but yet they still consider each other their closest friend. and both love each other and would drop everything to help each other#fuck my life man. seriously#wtf was i talking abt. i forget im just rambling npw#ohhh they make me explode.
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everytime i watch secrets of the scroll i want to grab shifu by the shoulders and shake him like a fucking maraca
#DOES HE EVER LEARN HIS LESSON#shifu: i have made the perfect student#me: you fucked up a perfectly good daughter is what you did. look at her. she's got daddy issues#the bits in the series that feature tigress' reaction to people with openly loving parents kill me#viper @ sots 'oh father I'm going to make you proud' 'i have always been proud of you'#SHIFU WHEN I GET YOU SHIFU WHEN I GET YOU#kfp#GOD THIS APPLIES TO TAI LUNG TOO#i love shifu but like. rewatching tai lung's fight and all the heartache that comes with it#the heartache that is STILL THERE W TIGRESS#sometimes while watching the series i wonder how he sees her#as his daughter? his student? or his chance at redemption for what he did to tai lung?#either way. pain#agony even#tacking on an edit to this bc i don't think she's fundamentally 'bad' bc of shifu's bad parenting#i love tigress#its just the angst surrounding her relationship with shifu HURTS
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You know what I just realized? Jason Todd is the Dabi/Todoroki Touya of the Batman fandom
#batman#dc comics#my hero academia#mha#boku no hero academia#bnha#jason todd#red hood#todoroki touya#dabi#Canon: not a good person#does not care about/actively hurts his siblings to get back at his dad and teach him a lesson#a villain/anti-hero#Fanon: did bad things but he was traumatized so that makes it okay and everyone forgives and loves him#is a good older brother who secretly cares about his siblings even if they don't know it#has a good relationship with his dad#just needs someone to listen to him so he can erase all the effects of his trauma and turn into the perfect hero that everyone loves#this is very specifically about jason when he was in his villain arc not later DON'T ATTACK ME PLS#Am i comparing Bruce and Endeavour?#NO!#do i think that Dabi and Jason are a little similar?#kinda#do I think their respective fandoms treat them in very similar ways that are high key disrespectful to their character and erase a bunch of#what makes them a compelling character?#yes#do i love them anyways?#also yes#I'm still reading the comics#please don't attack me if my understanding of Jason's character is off#this is just how i feel about what I've seen so far
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scrolling youtube. "how to spot someone FAKING DID!!!" heavy sigh.
#1) there is literally no way to spot a faker. none. most likely you're accusing actual people with DID#(subsequently hurting people you're trying to protect)#2) even if a person IS faking DID (very unlikely in the first place and again there's no way to tell from the outside)#there is still something wrong.#a mentally healthy person does not fake a mental disorder. it just. doesn't happen.#they're just doing it for attention? ok attention is a human need i could literally write a whole post on that phrase#theyre doing it to try to fit in? if someone so desperately craves to be plural let them be. yes being plural =/= DID#but i kinda doubt they want the Bad Parts(TM) aka the Disorder Part#and if they do: again. something wrong. a mentally healthy person does not wish for disorders#tempted to watch the video just to see#chaos chitters
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The novelisation of the Phantom Menace has made me so incredibly sad, where little Anakin sees an injured Tusken and decides to disobey Watto to sit by the Raider until he wakes up. Anakin has such a deep, loving heart that he was willing to suffer the consequences of disobedience to make sure a Tusken Raider would be safe, a being he was taught all his life were brutal and cruel. And in this chapter, Anakin admits that the only thing that truly scares him, is of losing his mother. That juxtaposition, that note of I will care for this creature to I fear losing my mother, put so much more weight onto AOTC, and of Anakin's rage. He broke, and he lost himself to his rage. When faced with what he did, he rages against the world and his actions, before breaking down into further sobs at the loss of his mother and the actions he made. His worst fear was realised, and he became the monster that everyone claimed the Tuskens to be.
It'll be interesting to read the AOTC novelisation, to see if this scene is ever called back to. I just find it interesting, and further showcases the depths of Anakin's feelings and compassion, as well as the pitfalls that such strong emotions come with. For if you feel compassion and love as deeply as Anakin does, so will you feel the destructive nature of all of your rage. And that, that is Anakin's biggest weakness; he feels too strongly to ever truly control it.
#text_iris#I just love Anakin so much and this novel just makes me scream at how good it is#Anakin Skywalker#Star Wars#The Phantom Menace#Star Wars Meta#Like...I relate to the Feeling Too Strongly 'cos ADHD which has made my rage an overwhelming thing#The amounts of time I've lost myself to my rage are numerous and I understand too well how that can happen#Like. That rage where you just lose all sense of self? Yeah. As a kid I was...a ball of rage#Mellowed out with the years of course but still. It happened. It was real. And Anakin Skywalker as a character made me realise things#Like when I was younger I realised the reason why my rage was like that was due to the fact I felt so strongly#Any emotion I had would just consume me. ANY emotion. And I realised that by looking at Anakin meta#So...yeah. Anyway this novel is killing me with emotions already and I'm only on the seventh chapter#Anyway Anakin never relished his violence against the Tuskens instead he tried to work through what happened#What he did why he did it and HOW because?? He didn't want to he was a Jedi but he also wanted to HURT them for taking his mom#It's COMPLICATED and that's sooo good because it's REALISTIC and PAINFUL#Anakin let his rage consume him! Which is bad! But also human! It's complicated!! He regrets his actions but also not but also he does!!#Aaa so many emotions about this one eldritch lightning rod of a being
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