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#(sort of. but yeah actually bc that's what this is all about)
frownyalfred · 1 day
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eye in the sky has captured my ENTIRE brain and i was thinking back to how in an earlier ask you were imagining bruce eventually blowing the watchtower out of the sky like holy shit
bc like for bruce to blow the whole thing up with himself inside, he’s gotta distract the other regime members yeah? like j’onn and hal and diana and everyone - but especially kal. between the super strength, telepathy, super speed, super senses, laser eyes, etc. he Has to incapacitate them or they will be able to physically stop him from exploding the base and duke from escaping.
cause i imagine that after so many years it’s not like bruce can just pull out some kryptonite or lead or red sun lamps or whatever, kal would’ve destroyed those long ago. and now i have this image in my head of superman being weakened for the first time in actual years, unable to reach bruce to stop him, and the two of them screaming at each other over the comms system all of the grievances bruce has been unable to say
bruce (and especially batman) is a character defined by hope and his faith in people, but the hostage situation is so perfect for engineering him losing that faith in clark being so so resentful over all the abuses he and his family have suffered at clark’s hands. he reminds me of that mountain goats line “i hope you die i hope we both die” and it’s making me crazy they are SO unwell in this au
Mhmmm. I’m not sure if it fits but this made me think about what that scene could look like. And I think it would hurt extra special if Bruce managed to capture Kal in a chamber of energy field of some sort in the Watchtower (maybe something he was painstakingly building from scratch pieces over the years in secret) and he starts the detonation sequence and just…locks both him and Kal in the room together, with Kal in the chamber and Bruce sitting with his back up against the wall, holding the remote to trigger the final sequence and slowly bleeding out (maybe he was injured trying to trap Kal? Help the kids escape?)
And Kal is SCREAMING at him. Pleading with him. Begging him not to do this. Because Kal will live — even weakened and in the chamber, he’ll probably survive the explosion. But Bruce won’t.
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t1oui · 3 days
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chaotic bcj headcanons bc i have brainrot about this man OFTEN
italian, greek (mum), british, and spanish (dad)
grew up in italy, it's his first language (he was invited to hogwarts bc his dad works for the ministry)
can learn a language in about 2 seconds
speaks italian, english, greek, and spanish (only learned it to spite his dad who can't speak spanish)
almost sorted into ravenclaw, he was nearly a hatstall
likes to spend his time pointing out all the reasons why english sucks (he is probably the best english speaker of all his friends and he wasn't fluent till he was 11 (they've been speaking english their entire lives))
very tall. it is literally impossible to lose this man in a crowd
loves to swim but gets pissy if the water's too warm
is a sub 100%. if evan is ace he's still a sub but in a nonsexual way
he's crazy in the way that all smart people are a lil crazy because nobody fully understands him (read: he's best friends with lily evans)
makes fun of jegulus for being jealous but will throw hands if someone smiles at evan from across the great hall
in constant need of piggyback rides but too tall to get them from anybody but remus
love language is physical touch, if he is not touching someone at all times he gets anxious
this usually means holding hands with his friends... and biting evan
worships the ground his bf walks on daily <3
never studies but has perfect grades
loves dying his hair, usually green but also random colors like red and purple and blue (pandora's favorite color)
once sirius dyed barty's hair hot pink to get back at him for who knows what it's barty but barty actually loved it (sirius was PISSED)
bisexual
happily asks evan to give him pictures to wank to (evan obliges)
have i mentioned he's a total fucking simp. yeah
was quidditch commentator for 2 seconds before mcgonagall fired him (he kept gossiping about the players)
actually loves people so deeply it hurts (james does the same thing but his love for people is on the surface while barty hides his most of the time)
hella adhd
insists on being the little spoon, can't sleep otherwise
has a ton of piercings and is completely COVERED in tattoos (at least half are dedicated to evan, the other half to the rest of his friends (including the gryffindors, especially lily!!))
mama's boy, like this man brings up his mom every 6 seconds, he thinks she's the smartest person on earth (other than evan ofc)
has a lot in common with james (as seen above), barty beefs with him for about a month and then realizes james is actually super chill (james and evan were already friends lol)
the biggest fuck you to his dad? not only does he hate politics, he wants to be an artist
likes painting just fine, and drawing is ok (he mostly just draws evan and the skittles, sometimes others like lily and james), but he LOVES ceramics
is an amazing cook, spends a lot of time in the kitchens with the house elves
(in a world without voldemort, he and hermione granger would get along very well)
favorite subjects are charms and defense against the dark arts (y'all remember when he was actually kind of a good dada professor in gof? yeah)
my computer's about to die so i'll leave it here, might add more later tho <3
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djcarnationsblog · 3 days
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Y'ALL HEAR ME OUT, HEAR ME OUT- (this is gonna have so many of my 2003 hcs in here and I do not apologize in advance/aff)
I GOT A 2003 LEOSAGI IDEA BUT IT'S A LITTLE LESS ROMANCE AND A LITTLE MORE-
LITTLE BROTHERS IN THEIR GREMLIN MODE
I feel like Leo was NOT subtle at all with his crush, and all of his brothers could tell. And so Usagi got invited over a lot more because EVERYONE wanted him over
(Leo did not sense the impending doom in this decision until it was too late)
So you see, there is the younger sibling way of law (imo), where the younger siblings are obligated to be gremlins to their oldest sibling, ESPECIALLY around the oldest sibling's crush.
And these motherfuckers DO NOT DISAPPOINT-
There was a time where Leo and Usagi were having pleasant conversation, y'know? They were chillin', it was all fine and dandy.
And then in the motherfucking distance you hear an approaching;
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"
CUE MIKEY AND RAPH FUCKING BODY SLAMMING LEO INTO THE GROUND AND JUST START WRESTLING THIS MOTHERFUCKER, NO RHYME OR REASON BESIDES THE FACT THAT LEO'S BEEN TALKING TO USAGI AND THEY HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT-
Usagi is just blinking rapidly off to the side, and Donnie just walks up beside him sippin' on some apple juice and just goes "Yeah, this is par for the course."
There was another time where Donnie and Mikey were hanging out with Usagi, showing him cartoons and shit.
And then all of a sudden Leo just bolts past the couch, running for his goddamn life with Raph hot on his trail with the most shit eating grin ever-
And when Mikey asks what's up, they turn around to witness Leo just parkour his fucking ass onto the wall-
and so now he's just climbing up as far as he can go while Raph is following him from the floor, calling after him and calling him all sorts of things while Leo's just yelling at him like "STOP!! SHUT UP!!! RAPH!!!!"
Now Mikey is losing his shit, Usagi is wondering how he got up there so easily, and Donnie?
Donnie's gettin' ideas dude. He's gettin' ideas.
So watch as this purple motherfucker grabs one of Mikey's stress balls, aims for it-
and just starts yeeting that ball at Leo.
Now Raph is losing his shit as Leo's trying to fend off this fucking ball that Donnie keeps pelting at him, and Usagi's like "Why are you throwing that at him??? What are you both doing??"
Donnie's response? "It's the younger brother in me. I gotta listen to it."
So now Mikey starts fuckin' with Leo and starts shouting "BURN THE TURTLE!!! BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!! HIS NINJOSITY IS A SIN UPON THIS WORLD!!!"
Donnie turn to him like, "why the hell do you know about that???"
And then RAPH turns to him like, "Comparing Leo to a witch? That is an insult to the witches, Mikey, apologize."
So now they're ALL ganging up on Leo, who's yelling at them and clinging to dear life on one of the pipes on the CEILING howdidhegetthere-
And Usagi's in the back, muffling his chuckles because this is actually funny as fuck-
Poor Leo though.
Adding onto that scene, we have Raph be like, "Why are you up there anyways??? Aren't you scared of heights?"
Leonardo immediately defending himself in the wrong way by saying "I WAS A CHILD RAPH, I HAD A CHILD'S MIND IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!"
Usagi latches onto that SO quickly bro like- "You? A Ninja? You used to be afraid of heights?"
All three of the gremlins start laughing and Leo's sputtering to deflect like a motherfucker.
"Now-now here's the thing with younger brothers, Usagi, they lie all the time-"
"EXQUEESE ME???"
"NOW HOLD ON THERE, DUDE-"
"WHOMST THE FUCK IS LYING HERE?!?!?"
Raph rats out Leo so fast by recalling him being afraid of heights until like, he was five. And then Donnie IMMEDIATELY backs up his twin (yes I fw the hc of them being twins sue me-) by going "He was afraid until he was six. I counted."
Leo here though? Gotta defend his pride here bro-
"You know what, here's another thing about siblings-FUCK YOU BOTH-"
Y'ALL THEY AAAAALL STARTLED AT THAT BC LEO HERE DON'T CUSS MUCH UNTIL HE REALLY WANNA INSTILL THE FEAR OF GOD INTO YOU-
Mikey makin' that their cue to gtfo like "NOW WE GOTTA SKEDADDLE, NOW WE GOTTA GET THE DIDDLY DARN FUCK ON OUT OF HERE-"
The way they all ran for the hills the moment Leo dropped from the ceiling was GLORIOUS
(Leo will forever be proud of making Usagi laugh until he snorted.)
(Even though he had to kill some lil' bros to do it)
And so imagine when they get together, right?
Oh god, oh no, oh shit-
That ^^^ is exactly what goes through Leo's mind when he tells his brothers, because he KNOWS just what they're gonna exploit and fucking HOW-
Because here's the thing.
They're all turtles. They still got basic turtle instincts, no matter how much more human they act than turtle, it is IN THEIR NATURE TO BE TEETLEZ AND THAT WILL BACKFIRE SO HARD ON LEO THAT HE FAILS SUCCESSFULLY???? SORT OF???
Like, here, look-
Imagine the amount of shit they would spill to Usagi about Leo, not only regarding things like his love language and shit, but also about basic turtle love language.
One of those being the fact that turtles will tap/slap their mates on the face to show affection. Albeit for the turtle boys, the slaps would be pretty gentle and shit.
Usagi? Found this hilarious.
He did this the first time he came to visit as Leo's official boyfriend. They were all excited to see him (and excited to see if he'd go through with it, cuz c'mon, who doesn't want Leo blackmail?) and Leo's just happy to see his bby again cause Leonardo 'I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU AND YOU ARE GORGEOUS AND EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT AND NEED IN MY LIFE' Splinterson is what some may call a 'Raging Homosexual'
So they greet each other with a hug, all's well and they're happy to see each other.
And then Usagi taps him on both of his cheeks with a mischievous lil' smile.
THE WAY THIS MOTHERFUCKER SHUTS RIGHT THE FUCK DOWN-
OH THIS POOR POOR BOI, OH YOU POOR THING
FUCKING SUFFER
The way his hands were flapping like crazy almost the entire day afterwards was honestly the most adorable thing Usagi had ever seen.
And it felt nice when Leo shyly tapped him back. It was very cute-
There's also the thing where like, apart from not being fond of most touch, turtles and some tortoises definitely don't mind shell scratches or neck scratches.
You can easily tell how Usagi got his ass trapped under an eeping Leo on the couch. He didn't even have the heart to try and move the bitch, they both just fell asleep there.
Mikey got his well deserved $20 out of their bet.
NOW I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE SO RIP RIGHT THERE, BUT LIKE, Y'ALL SEE THE VISION RIGHT??? TRUST ME, THESE LITTLE SHITS WOULD DIAL UP THE LITTLE SHITERY TO A TWELVE
Leo wants to hate them, but like, they sorta helped him bag a bad bitch so he can't ENTIRELY complain
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ladykeyleth · 3 months
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I don't know what to do. What's the end goal of all of this? Am I really just supposed to keep chasing and consuming power wherever I find it? To what end? And will it actually ever be enough?
Bonus:
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beatcroc · 4 months
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homest[ar/uck] posting. this was meant to be supplementary to the gerome comic as him 'explaining the joke' but i uhhhhhh forgot.
i'm not much for crossovers in the the traditional sense, but it IS one of my favorite character exploration exercises to just go like 'if x media existed in this universe, who would and would not be a fan of it?'. and these ones are pretty notorious and always very fun to mess with for that and so here we are
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brittlebutch · 2 months
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actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored
#N posts stuff#like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up#JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of#breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least#been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter#what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way#other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit#so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series#Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex#'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals#Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid#and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have)#ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue#that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex#because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay#so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG.#bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly#the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad#'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway.#the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to#like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry#and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated#on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty#so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes#not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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“Claude in Hopes is exactly the same way he is in Houses! He’s always been like that and has the same feelings/morals!”
Claude in GW/Hopes:
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Claude, literally, in Houses:
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Let that speak for the fact that Claude was written with a 180 characterization in Hopes.
Claude wants peace and to bring everyone together; not to tear them further apart. That is his character.
#I’m still in the middle of answering this ask I got but yeah#even Edelgard noticed Claude really loves bringing ppl together in WC#when she says ''you really value that sort of thing don't you'' after the Eagle/Lion (+Deer >.> ) battle#like if Claude's goal was to destroy Fodlan and just leave a mess of it A+++ you did an astounding show stopping brilliantly done job#if your goal was peace well you fucked that up pretty good buddy#in Hopes too like he's literally arguing with Lorenz about it while Lorenz is like ??? bruh wtf ???#literally who cares what some politicians did 300 years ago certainly not Houses Claude#in fact Claude said fuck our history sideways with a cactus let's make peace and be friends#AND he got the approval from the whole roundtable and that's all we know on the topic bc it's all we needed to know#versus in GW where it's explicitly stated that it took some doing for them to allow Claude to be king#meaning the roundtable was not up for what he was suggesting and needed to be convinced#they needed it enough that Lorenz pointed it out to everyone and from a narrative standpoint#AM Claude doesn't need to say how the meeting went and all we need to know is that it worked out#but in GW it's told to us that the meeting was very long and it took some doing for them to trust Claude's judgment#the meeting is presented in a more uncertain light with how the lords felt abt it whereas in AM#it's not told to us how things went bc it's not important. a negative aspect (i.e. the roundtable not being able to come to an agreement)#is an important thing to note and if there was any negative aspect of it in AM they would've put it in there#meaning the roundtable trusts AM Claude's judgment enough when he tells them he wants to put their two nations together again#idk how else to explain that so I hope you get what I mean lol#I just find it completely baffling that people actually say both Claudes are the same person and that he was always like how he is in Hopes#like you can like his character in Hopes and enjoy that portrayal of him but at least admit he's written differently you know?#I hate when I see people say that Claude fans didn't understand his character in Houses at all bc they don't like him in Hopes#when you have literal staunch polar opposite sentences coming out of his mouth in these two scenes#the Claude we get in AM is the same Claude - the same person at his core - as he is in VW and all the routes#Houses Claude does not blame whatever the fuck Leicester and Faerghus did 300 years ago on the people living in their present#he also doesn't blame Dimitri or anyone else presently in power for Daphnel#GW Claude there is just grasping at unimportant and insignificant straws to justify his invasion#pretty sure AM Claude would be like ''hey dimi lemme borrow failnaught back real quick'' and smack GW Claude with it#then kindly hand it back to Dimi and smile and wave
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rotisseries · 1 year
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"I can see will appreciating all types of music genres" well I cannot. peace and love<3
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suffarustuffaru · 4 months
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What If Julius and Subaru both met when Julius was a commoner and Subaru got transported Sooner
fun stuff im sure !! but haah okay given julius was a kid when he was a commoner - yeah theyre both kids here!! not sure how old but definitely somewhere before the age of ten. and i think theyd be up to some shenanigans together im sure!! theyre both very mischevious kids (or from what little we know of little kid julius, given iirc tappei hasnt specified just How Much of a "delinquent" little kid julius is okay. but hes definitely the type to sneak out past curfew or something. stay up late reading too, probably. that sort of thing). and also subarus a kid and no way he ISNT missing home poor guy T^TT getting ripped away from home like that is bad enough at seventeen, getting ripped away from home when you are like. no more than eight or something is Bad. but luckily!! im assuming subaru gets found by the juukuliuses (julius's parents probably?) and thats how julius and subaru form their friendship / long-term yearning for each other (if you so desire that) (okay but no way subaru ISNT gonna form long-term yearning for julius flajsdlf). but yes i think julius and subaru would be silly happy kids together and julius's parents would be like oh no this other kid is so lost where is he from :(( but hes so loved by julius already too... well we got another kid under our roof now.
except. julius's parents die in a flood. so i mean. Hypothetically.... either julisuba survive this one first try or subaru dies for the first time. which. ohh god. oh god. oh g -
#IM. IM JUST GONNA LEAVE ON THAT OMINOUS NOTE#yeah so i think this would turn into childhood friends to Possibly Mutual Pining but actually it might not be mutual if you wanna interpret#reinjuli a certain way. but then but THEN later it can become mutual if u so want#like when u know a person for such a long period of time u change over time. u know?? both you and the relationship u have with this person#has its alterations over time!! thats just how it b but if youre meant to be together youll stick it out <3#julisuba in every universe they befriend each other for good is#Bound to be together for the rest of their lives. To Me. they are soulmates to Me okay their relationship is important#regardless of what form it takes!!! they could grow to think of each other like brothers in an au like this if u so desire too!! which i#think would be really touching <3#yeah so. julisuba childhood friends au. shit goes haywire sometimes. its really awful bc subarus a kid so u can imagine the kind of fucked#stuff hes learning rn hahaha. or you can go the happier route and subaru doesnt learn about rbd until later </3#either way. julisuba real. subarus an eldritch horror. these are both crucial facts for every timeline#i think julius would probs be a bit better having a companion by his side from the very beginning throughout all of this for sure!!#and someone who Gets the jealousy / do i want to be with him or Be him ;-;#i have a fondness for reinjulisuba (THE MESSIEST LOVE TRIANGLE YOUVE EVER SEEN)#and ok if subarus an eldritch horror since childhood then he and reinhard are gonna have Even More in common#hooray for childhood joys and traumas!!!!!#also julisuba visit julius's parents graves :(( leave nice flowers there im sure#subaru-joshua hostility begins also. that sort of thing#rezero#re:zero#ask#natsuki subaru#julius juukulius
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bumblingbabooshka · 8 months
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Live Fast & Prosper
#VERY funny that the imposter Janeway is sort of doing her accent - did Neelix mention that to her too~??#'Also she talks like a thespian?? Which I guess is how everyone talks in Indiana.'#She also pulled the whole 'we're a workplace but I like to think of us...as a family :)' so you know she's not to be trusted#Also I fuckinglove how into it the guy playing fake Tuvok is...he's like INTO the role. Yet another criminal man obsessed with you#commander...what's your DEAL <3#I'm such a soft touch dude I felt so bad for the aliens being tricked heheheh#SNRKEHAHAHA ok...Tom & Neelix being pals is actually so funny. They're like 'how could this have happened...we're the toughest most street#smart guys in the book' OK. SURE. HEHEHEH#WHEN DID Y'ALL HAVE EDGE~?? /ESPECIALLY/ YOU TOM#Neelix was doing some shady shit (even though we all know he's a sofite) what'd you do besides get thrown in the clink Tom?#People who say there's no like...uhh character-only moments on Voyager just havent watched the show straight up#Neelix & Tom trying to swindle the EMH with a cup game <3 yeah...that's what this is all about#Janeway: (doing a great job being intimidating) / Tuvok: v_v mhm. / Janeway: Tell her all about it Tuvok.#Tuvok: O_O.....um......it's uh...whew it's bad over there....#Janeway: What about the prisons? / Tuvok: Oh yes the-the prisons....they don't give you lotion. You'll be deficient in at least THREE#vitamins before you're even brought to trial / Janeway: That's Enough of...that. <- trying not to laugh#Tuvok: (is an undercover agent) also Tuvok: I'm not good at small talk or improvisation.#Neelix how much did you talk about Tuvok bc this guy's really into it#Neelix: balablabla tuvok blablabla tuvok tuvok bla bla / Dala: ....(god this bitch is gay...good for me good for him)
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orcelito · 5 months
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Ok. Real question. How many people Actually have believed in Santa? Bc I never did, mostly bc my dad never bothered with the entire pretense, so the whole concept is just. Really fucking strange to me
Putting an actual poll bc I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit thinking about how apparently widespread it is. Like. It's just so... weird? Why is this the thing people have popularized? It makes no sense.
#speculation nation#polls#like ok my dad's an atheist raised by jewish parents so xmas has never really been a religious sort of holiday to me#we celebrate it bc it's fun to give gifts and spend time with family#but that's... it.#all the lore and mythos of xmas is just so weird to me#like baby jesus etc etc but now here comes saint nicholas with the steel chair! (breaking into your house to eat your cookies#and leave presents Only for the rich kids! why only the rich ones? uhmmm Dont worry about it!)#genuinely speaking my dad's worked at ups my whole life so growing up he'd say he (and the rest of his coworkers) were the real santas#said as a joke mostly bc theyre the ones Actually delivering the packages#but i took it to heart. told people at school that my dad was the Real santa.#no one believed me lol which i found quite frustrating.#but yeah i have never once in my entire life believed in Santa#and im content with that. it seems like such a stupid thing i will be honest.#'what about the magic of christmas' what about the poor kids who dont get gifts & feel abandoned by this all-powerful man?#in fact why do we Want kids to not think it's their parents giving gifts? they cant thank the right people if we trick them.#it's a convoluted setup that makes absolutely 0 sense to me#trust me christmas had more than enough 'magic' for me as a kid just bc of all the cool lights and all the free gifts#dont need some mythological man who can travel the globe in one night and is a professional in B&E#makes no sense for Real.#there was a time with my ex step siblings where me n my sister were told not to spoil the fun for them#so i had to pretend like santa existed as they opened presents marked from him#and even back then i was just thinking 'this is So Dumb'#this is an anti santa zone i guess. me and myself hate the popularized version of this strange strange belief system.
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littlest-nightingale · 5 months
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Genuinely thinking about a self insert Good Omens fic
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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chirpsythismorning · 7 months
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📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
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previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#el hopper#el’s pov#el is so fleetwood mac coded 😭#this one was hard to find a gif for bc I feel like this song fits a lot with her inner turmoil during her time at nina#brenner’s whole speech here about not being able to let go#‘youre regressing eleven’#all of this progress she had outside of the lab#a lot of that progress was tied to mike (or at least el thinks she owes a lot of that progress to mike)#i feel like she sees him as someone who saved her and bc of that she’s scared of letting go of (the idea of) their relationship#if mike isn't telling her he loves her... let alone showing it#what does that mean for her and all the progress she’s made?#so she tries her best to cling onto the idea of their relationship#even if it means lying about everything#but then how can she actually progress and become her own person if she’s ashamed of the truth?#and so yeah no duh she’s regressing#the lyrics sort of fit with her going on this journey all while her feelings are in the background guiding her#'can the child within my heart rise above?'#being able to grow while also mourning not having the childhood she deserved... can those two things co-exist?#'well i've been afraid of changing cuz' i've built my life around you'#'but time makes you bolder. even children get older. i'm getting older too.'#el isn't the same girl the boys found in the woods#she has grown so much since then#and yet at the same time she hasn't#bc she can't progress if she keeps holding onto this idea of what she has to be to be enough for mike#bc it's not about being enough for him#it's about being true to herself#4x05#gif
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moving-to-dreamwinged · 5 months
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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milf-harrington · 1 year
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ive had this thing about steves parents sitting in my notes for months and i still havent finished it but bc its been so long ive completely lost my stream of thought so im tempted to just post it as is
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