#(kind of I’m mostly just sad) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roadkilledthegirl · 9 months

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ok. I’m going to say it.

I love ALL eras of boreo/decklikovsky EQUALLY, and I will FIGHT for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

Las Vegas era? Brilliant - the inexplicable teenage love and lust for each other (terrifying and amazing) - caring for someone because they’re the only person in the universe who cares for you, getting drunk and high and altogether plastered together because you’re so traumatized and lonely that you don’t know how to bond with people in any different way and hey, you both like it (a little too much in fact) so why not?? It’s DELICIOUS. this part of the book was just written too well to be put down as “unfortunate” or “less than”. It’s so so so sad and raw and angry and vulgar and and and

And you couldn’t even have post-Vegas New York, Antwerp & Amsterdam without it!! Where would the tension, the longing, the shock of seeing your - best friend? ex best friend? The guy you hate so much because you love him even more ??? Where would all of that come from without such a complex, tangled backstory???? There’s no one without the other!!!!!!

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cologona · 5 months

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Fics where Tim or Dick wear Jason down until he comes back to the manor (and inevitably there is a tearful reconciliation with Bruce) just strike me as flying monkey love-bombing now. I can’t unsee it.

#I’m mostly familiar with the trope of Tim being so dead set on making the family whole and happy again that he ignores his own well being #chasing after his would be murderer to bring him back into the fold #and it’s supposed to be equal parts insane and so selfless and good and kind #but all I see is a boy who was traumatized parentified inadvertently manipulated in the same ways as Dick growing up #and it’s just sad #Jason goes back to the manor and I can’t imagine the love lasts anymore #Jason Todd #batsalt #narcissistic family dynamics

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opheliaweeps · 11 months

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so I just finished reading ‘the oleander sword’ by tasha suri. I’m at work, so I finished the book, stared at my laptop for a minute, then came to the bathroom to cry and write this post (yeah, I’m in the bathroom right now. I’ve been crying for five minutes).

I’m crying because reading this book (which is book #2 of suri’s trilogy ‘the burning kingdoms’) has been… cathartic almost. the plot is high fantasy and political unrest, but the setting, the worldbuilding and careful nuances of the story are based on historical india, the country and myths and history I grew up with. somewhere inside me, the young girl who never saw a book that had a character that looked like her is sobbing in grief and gratitude and vindication, because an author like her decided to write this story. and it’s everything.

I’m crying because the relationships in this series are complicated and heartbreaking and human. siblings, friends, lovers, and the tangled webs in between - they’re so beautiful to read about. the pain of betrayal and bittersweetness of love, in a time when nations are at war and the characters are torn between their duty and their heart (an age-old story, the original tragedy). the delicate details that show the madness of corruption, the humanity in even the most twisted of villains, and the pain in hurting those you love so that they can live.

I’m crying because not only does this book speak to my desi heritage, it’s a queer story, setting a princess rebelling against her dictator-emperor of a brother and a temple-elder of a conquered nation of flowers and eldritch worship on a tumultuous path. their bond is fraught because of what they must do to serve their own countries, honour warring with the desire and love for each other in their hearts. a sapphic desi-high fantasy series - that’s something I never thought I would see.

I’m crying because the side m/m romance is pure tragedy and yet, it’s so beautiful it hurts to read. while the main heroines are separated by treachery and prophecy and gods of old, coming back to wage war for their glory, these two boys are separated by something much simpler: death. one dies (for his honour, for the men he leads, for his sister), and the other lives. the other lives to grieve and push forward, and isn’t this the oldest story? someone must always leave first, but we are never prepared, and I was not prepared for this death. because the one who lived had already lost so much, bled out for an empress he is bound to and her brother whom he loved. and he was taken away from him.

I’m crying because I love the world that has been built here, the stories woven and characters that suri has breathed life into. I’m crying because of the story, the pain, and the representation I never thought I’d see. but most of all, I’m crying for the love that this story holds, and the hurt that always follows bliss, because no good thing can ever be felt without unwanted anguish to sweeten these brief, tender moments.

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herawell · 2 months

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#negativity cw #death cw #family cw #my paternal grandfather just passed away #he was very sick and in pain the last few years so in a way it’s a bit of a relief that he’s not suffering anymore #mostly I’m sad for my dad #Since I only ever met my grandparents a few times (grew up in USA while they lived in India)#anyway I’m more or less okay #just feeling kind of shaken #he was my last remaining grandparent #and now my parents have no parents #which is a very strange and sobering thought

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foxgloveinspace · 4 months

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What a fucking roller coaster of a weekend/week start.

My accordion is unplayable, and it’d be much more expensive to get it repaired then to buy a new one, and I can’t fix it cause I’m scared I’d break it instead.

#very much so #I had a good cry about it already. it’s been awhile since I’ve cried cause I was sad and not cause I was angry.#I’m not sad cause the accordion is unplayable…. well I am a bit… I’m mostly sad cause I wanted to play my grandma’s accordion.#the bass buttons are stuck. and it’s such an old model that it’s not just the kind that #screws together. it’s the kind that has tiny nails in it. so if I where to try and fix it. I’d end up braking it trying to get it back #together… so yeah. I’m pretty fucking sad tonight.

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titsthedamnseason · 6 months

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my roommate cut my hair for me tonight and at first i was (secretly) sad because it is wayyyyy too short but then i realized. i literally just got the 1989 chop. like this was all meant to happen this way

#nooo bc like 😭 it is NOT her fault. it is entirely my fault #i have curly hair (maybe i should start straightening it just to fully live out the aesthetic lmao) and i made the rookie mistake of showing #her where i wanted it to fall when it was DRY #and on top of that obviously when it comes to hair cutting everyone is always doing too much #but my friend is soooo cautious and gets anxious about these things so i honestly thought she wouldn’t do enough #and would kind of ask me while doing it in increments #like last time when i had my roommate cut my hair i couldn’t even tell that she did ANYTHING #but anyway yeah she definitely went shorter than where i pointed which already was faulty in the first place because i forgot how much it #would curl up #i mean i’m actually happy because it’s been frustrating me how absolutely tangled it’s been getting so that’s a relief #but i’m mostly sad because it’s about to be halloween #and i wanted my dead ends GONE for halloween because i am being barbie. who has notoriously perfect hair!#and they definitely are but i also lost all my length #like i’m trying to tell myself it’ll grow back soon but the last time my hair was this short was maybe like two years ago #and i’ve missed my long hair so bad it was finally starting to come back #but now it’s gone again and i have to start all over ☹️ and my barbie hairstyle options are severely limited #i will probably do braided pigtails #mine

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mom-friendtm · 8 days

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period blues

#personal #i am in a terrible headspace right now #i don’t know what to do #i know this is temporary #but i can’t help but feel like it’s permanent because sadness makes you feel like it will be #it’s sadness and anger let’s be real #it’s the kind of feeling where i’m mad at the world #and everyone hates me and knows i’m useless etc etc #getting that feeling where grief manifests as an ache in my hand #an ache and a chill kinda… idk how to describe it #but it will go in a wave across my hand #either way #feeling just so… upset #and i texted my gf about it two hours ago & she didn’t respond #so i’m even more upset but i don’t want to express that to her #it just stings i guess #granted she may not be feeling great herself #and i probably didn’t phrase it in a way where she could say much #especially since i mostly mentioned being pissed off #i don’t know #either way.#feeling sorry for myself #vent post #vent #also holy shit i need to block these fuckin eating disorder tags #pissing me off. and they have for awhile

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weinerhutcircus · 2 months

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to whoever might have them, please return Gearshift’s strange little toys back to him. I can see the decrease in his work quality and it’s driving me nuts.

#it’s just #it’s a complete turn off!#in a co-worker kind of way #you know?#I can’t stand seeing him like this!#genuinely!#I don’t know if you guys knew this but I’m very fond of hard WORKING men.#that work hard.#as an employed man myself #of course.#he says it’s mostly funny to him but he keeps taking bathroom breaks (NOT NORMAL) and I’m pretty sure he’s um getting emotional in there #not to put him on the spot #but I am genuinely concerned!#seeing a fellow man so sad like that just! it just makes me so soft! you know!#🛑

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sweetandglovelyart · 2 months

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Now that I’ve finished the most recent comic page I think I should actually try and do some proper drawings of some of my OCs. Get ready to see Taranza’s mom Theraphoza, I’m working on drawing her first 🕷️

#text post #Kirby #Kirby OCs #she was briefly in Knightfall in Dream Land on the previous page but since it’s set in the past that was her younger design #she looks a little different in the present so I’m working on her present day design #I’m also drawing Taranza with her he’s wearing his little king outfit I designed for him lmao #I keep talking about how he becomes the king of Floralia after Triple Deluxe in my AU #but I haven’t actually drawn him in his king attire yet #he mostly looks the same he just gets a crown and some embellishments that attach to his cape #I feel like he’d probably still dress casually most of the time after becoming king and he’d just put on the full attire for formal events #anyway I’m excited to do an actual proper drawing of Thera and show off her personality a bit more #she’s got a bit of a sadness about her (she has a tragic love life just like her son) but she’s very gentle and kind #I could see her really doting upon/fussing over her son since he’s her only child lmao #and she lost her husband/Taranza’s dad so I could see her being especially protective of Taranza because of that #she’d also act like a mom to all of his friends too #like she’d always make sure they’re well fed and would knit stuff for them to keep them warm lmao #she’d probably be good at knitting and she’d probably be good at baking stuff too #I could see her acting like a nice grandma to Kirby whenever Kirby visits Floralia lmao

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shaykai · 4 months

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Vat/Orin childhood schenanigans is fun yes, but consider, they still try to pettily rip eachother apart as adults, the same way they would have as children

Oh yeah they would for sure- and honestly I think their relationship would be worse if he showed up later (which is always fun. Throw some animosity onto the gas fire that is their relationship)

Like she’s being prepped to start running the cult and taking over from Sarevok and then some drow walks in and is basically just handed everything (I assume there are some trials but like. It’s Durge. He passes dhshshsj)

I think they’ll lose some of their bond (mostly on Vat’il’s end. He does care about Orin! It’s just in a super messed up version of love kind of a way) but it’s also not like they were ever super close so it works out

#mostly things that I have slotted to happen in their childhood would still happen they’d just be teenagers/adults #like sarevok helping to train vat- could still happen. it’s just a bit less cute now and he’s probably a bit meaner about it djdjdjdj #but I do think it makes more sense to go this route #anon #ask #another sad thing is I think he’s a lot more desperate to kind of replace his family when he’s little #to the point that he just kind of accepts Orin and Sarevok into those roles (and not just in the cult way of I’m going to call you my sister #but like. Orin IS his sister in his head. Sarevok is his grandfather etc.#I can see him still doing that when he’s older it would just be a lot less desperate #which is too bad but oh well #oc #Vat’il #bg3 spoilers

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suzieburself · 6 months

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I just almost fainted , might go to the hospital, hopefully I’ll still be able to edit my last bylerween fic

#personal #I’m fine mostly kind of #just sad my Halloween is ruined

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elucubrare · 2 years

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Behold! A lime tree!

#I’m a little bit of a mess #26 days to go & I need to Do Stuff #I’m sad about the general state of my garden #(wind + a month of 100°+ have not been kind)#but I think that just means I need to try harder #& monitor things (soil moisture mostly) better #i’m almost done aging the text of my favors with tea #& I have two absolutely ridiculous pens for the guestbook #plus I finally called maintenance about our broken microwave #all in all i’m great

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dressagecow · 1 year

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Ah. Suppose I should drop by for an update or something.

Got depressed about Situations for a bit and overwhelmed by So Many Things for a long time so I just sort of fell off Tumblr.

Let’s speedrun some general horse stuff:

- Nav got the Rembrandt fitted and it’s apparently weirdly, magically perfect for him - despite being an old throwaway a visiting trainer just wanted to be rid of. I’m glad I took a chance on it.

- His feet are still a work in progress, but getting better each time. He’s now barefoot again and sound as a bell! (Personally I think he’s glad to finally be rid of the steels).

- He got clipped, then immediately grew it almost fully back in.

- Bought a decent medium-weight blanket for him from another boarder that couldn’t use it.

- Haunches in still ain’t happening.

- He apparently loves my younger brother? Really cute honestly.

- Adjusted his supplement regimen to include hoof support, now that he’s barefoot again (on top of joint + calming support).

- He recently got a “bad report card” from the barn owner. The most recent hay shipment we got is a lot richer than the last few, and it’s given him so much Idiot Energy that he doesn’t know what to do with, that he’s started being a bit of an asshole to some of his herd members. Which means I need to go back to seeing/riding him more often again to balance that out (we’ve been on a reduced winter schedule, y’all know how it goes). At the very least, he’s turning 18 this year and still doesn’t act his age, so I guess I don’t need to worry about him slowing down any time soon.

- He’s still my best boy tho. He’s been great for everything I’ve been asking of him (minus one recent ride where the Idiot Energy needed to be worked through, and then he went back to being great).

- Bonus: We unexpectedly received a year end award from the MDA for our first level work last year! We got a fancy certificate and plaque and everything. Very proud of us.

#Navaho #My horse #My life shit includes: money issues; school issues; new job; lost motivation/gained sadness so I saw Nav less #Also kind of got stuck while on a pre-planned trip abroad #But thankfully everything is mostly settled now and I’m alright - just busier than usual

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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hhhhh why are symphony tickets so expensive >.<

#I would desperately love to see an actual performance of The Messiah this year #and—what luck!—there’s one in my town!!#exCEPT the tickets are $40 apiece. and I simply cannot justify that kind of money for that specific purchase when I am saving for college.#besides—even if I *did* decide I could just not get coffee for like the rest of the holidays and buy the ticket #I’d never be able to convince anyone else in my family to also spend that much and go with me #even tho my sister told me in earnest the other day that she’d really love to go to a performance someday #and my mom has mentioned on and off for years that she went to one once and would totally go again bc of how cool it was #also it’s doubly frustrating to me bc right smack in the middle of the orchestra’s website homepage there’s a big message #about how the orchestra can only continue to perform for the city if people continue to take an interest #and how they’re funded mostly thru ticket sales and really need people to buy tickets to keep them going #and I UNDERSTAND I’m not demanding that you give us these things for free!! art should be paid for!! I agree!!#but I simply cannot pay that *much*#it’s very disheartening bc I /want/ to support the arts I /want/ to experience beauty for myself but I CANNOT #entirely due to my efforts to be reasonable and think carefully about the future and avoid going into debt for the sake of my education #which is why I’m living at home working 45 hr weeks in retail all thru the holidays a year after I had planned to be at college #sorry I am not trying to bellyache and complain 😅🙃 simply sad and disappointed bc I was very much hoping to get to go see The Messiah #performed live in the our great big huge beautiful old Catholic Church downtown 🙃#mobile #gurt says stuff

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werebutch · 2 years

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How to not be a loser. I’m asking this isn’t a tutorial

#I CANT MAKE FRIENDS well acrually I can and I do I just don’t get attached to them or I think they are annoying.#like. I’m not socially inept at least not too much. but I just don’t like most people😭#BUT IM NOT ONE OF THOSE I hate people humanity is the worst👎 kind of people. I’m just picky. help #it’s easy for me to go up and talk to people. mostly. but I just end up w a lot of aquaintences never close ish friends. u know #not sad or mad just kind of meh. but I know that once I go to school it will change a little. right now I just don’t have that #many opportunities to meet people. or I don’t make them lol

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apleasurableillusion · 1 year

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I randomly thought about a person I went to elementary/high school with who came out as a trans woman years after I knew her and decided to look her up. She died a couple days before I thought of her. Weird how the universe conspires that way sometimes

Anyway one of my most distinct memories of her was Halloween in grade 8 when she dressed up as a woman (like as a costume) and it really just reminds me how little you know what’s going on inside someone. I remember vaguely thinking it was a weird costume and honestly just chalked it up to being American (as they’d recently moved to Canada)

#she was riding an electric scooter on a freeway on 5am so I have many questions about that #but mostly I’m just kind of distantly sad #we weren’t super close but we had the same bus stop so saw each other a lot

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