#(also to be clear i do enjoy how unhinged all the characters are but it's uncomfortable how house's own friends treat him) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

apollos-calliope · 4 months

Text

touch tank: luke castellan

pairing: luke castellan x fem!child of poseidon!reader

warnings: suggestiveness, swearing, skinny dipping, nudity, PDA, oral (f receiving), multiple reader orgasms, mentions of future relationships, slightly dark!luke, pjo spoilers, kind of brother’s best friend! trope

NSFW CONTENT. MDNI.

obviously i don’t own any of percy jackson or any of the characters - also luke is an adult in the books and has always been an adult in the books! i do NOT write anything suggestive about the underage characters in the show, even if their actors are of age. I also do not write about underage actors whatsoever. i worked really really hard on this, i hope you enjoy!

one of the first things you noticed when you arrived at camp half-blood was that greek mythology had a reputation of being quite unhinged in the eyes of others. this was due to the gods’ reckless tendencies, sexual escapades, and overall sense of superiority and self importance. considering the amount of demigods at camp half-blood, it was safe to say that the beings that resided on mt. olympus were promiscuous. that led to their children following suit. many of the campers who were of age tended to fool around with as many people as they could before leaving for college or careers. they were never given the chance to experiment before, after all. even aphrodite refused to let her children embrace their sexuality. it was an unspoken agreement with chiron and the gods to keep the campers focused and out of trouble. keeping the campers focused meant keeping the gods from hearing about them: and the less the gods hear about their children, the better. so henceforth came another very simple camp rule.

no maiming, no murder, no mating.

unfortunately for the gods and chiron alike, young adults love nothing more than to explore. and that’s exactly what they did. when all of this happened, you were freshly an adult and were very sex positive. most of the others seemed to share the same sentiment. of course, the younger campers like your little brother percy didn’t see the appeal yet. they were too busy pursuing their kleos.

that was the interesting thing about camp half blood. you had shown up shortly after percy’s arrival and were met with hatred from him. he was beyond angry that poseidon had claimed you the moment you stepped onto the grounds. percy said it took so long that he almost convinced himself it was all just a mistake, until he found a friend who helped him figure it out.

that’s how you met luke castellan. he explained to you that the gods were on the verge of war, and you told him you hated the gods because of what poseidon did to your brother. he liked that. you already felt protective over percy. he needed a bigger sister, someone to guide him - even though you were just as new to this. luke would need someone to take over, after all. so you vowed to be percy’s guide, and luke took up being yours. you never spent a single night in the hermes cabin - at least as an unclaimed child. and percy would never admit it, but you and luke had saved him from a fate he didn't want to think about.

when percy finally warmed up to you, he was already leaving for his quest. you hugged him as tightly as you could, reassuring him that you'd have luke while he was gone and that you knew he would return safely with his mom. you made it clear that regardless of the gods, the family that cares is most important. the squeeze he gave your hand broke your heart in two. you had a sick feeling in your stomach when you watched the three children head towards thalia's tree. in that moment, you swore you would do everything you could to keep percy safe and happy. you would make any sacrifice for him, like the sister he deserved.

in the meantime, there were at least two positives to percy leaving for his quest. the first was extra bathroom time in the morning. percy made it very clear that his hair was the most important task in the cabin, so you were normally rushed to the wire to make it to activities on time. he was too sassy to argue with.

the second was the freedom you had during the night. you wanted to keep messing around like the other older campers. no one seemed to recognize your urgent need for comfort, or at the very least, a distraction. coming to camp had been traumatizing. you could use the heat of a body, or several. fortunately, a certain hermes boy had taken a liking to you during your tours and lessons. making up six years' worth of training was a task to behold, but you were determined. so you spent most of your time with him. days easily turned into nights with luke's gentle smirk and valiant effort to keep you safe. as far as he knew, you were readily available to any of these losers he wasted his time around. you weren’t ashamed of your sexuality and he was well aware of that. however, you were already beyond smitten at that point. you just pretended to be interested in romance with nearly anyone. for the fun, and the freedom of being a normal teen for once. but mostly because of the way luke’s smirk would turn into a glare at the mention of another camper.

the night percy left was also the first night that you grabbed luke's wrist and dragged him to the sand undetected. you were nervous to put so much trust into one person, but luke was the only person you felt was completely honest with you. the sound of laughing filled the space until the quieter hum of lightning bugs signalled your opportunity to make it to the water. he grabbed you by the waist and tossed you over his shoulder, chuckling at the squeal you let out. this time around, you pressed a hand against your mouth to muffle your shouts of glee as luke haphazardly sprinted towards the water with you on his shoulder. he threw you down onto the sand gently, right where the small waves hit. they lapped over your fingertips gently, settling you into a state of relaxation.

you looked at him in confusion when he removed his pajama shirt. the blue fabric landing next to you, halfway dunked into the water.

"figured the best way to celebrate your relief from big sibling duty was to do something stupid. naked, of course." your first instinct was to laugh as he finished stripping down. he didn’t seem bothered by his ruined shirt or the presumption of nudity. you noticed ink scattered across his gold-toned skin as he began to run. curious to find out more, you followed after him.

once you splashed into the water, you immediately felt the tension draw out of your shoulders. the water had always made you feel alive. you knew now that it was due to your lineage. you would eventually have to thank your dad for that, much to your chagrin. you could only hope that percy received your dad’s help on his quest.

when you opened your eyes, it was to luke absolutely beaming at you. despite seeing your bare skin, he was entranced by the soft glow of your eyes in the moonlight. to him, you were ethereal. it was foolish to put so much faith into the gods when it was so much easier from him to whisper prayers into your most intimate areas, exposed to him without a second thought.

"i think i'm falling for you." glazed over eyes, covered slightly by messy curls, met yours. the air was static with vulnerability and desire. luke was just waiting for your signal. you nodded.

"i trust you."

"good. i'll be gentle."

he grabbed you and pulled you back into the water. you felt a sort of bubble around you as his lips met yours. you were well aware of your ability to breathe underwater. you had never told luke, but he must have noticed from the endless nights you spent in the water. you trailed your hands along his arms to meet his eager actions.

a line of spit connected the two of you as you broke apart, letting the water float you to the surface. your destination, although not shared out loud, was clear to both of you.

he told you about his tattoos as you got out of the water. he had two, a feathered wing spread across his thigh - which matched perfectly with the μα��α inscribed on his bicep. his history, embedded into his skin. such a beautiful concept. you mentioned that you thought it was cool that he chose to have his own history, unlike his scar. you had never seen him tear up like that. he brushed it off with a joke about his dad hating him, a natural defense.

it was near torture to know how close you were to him in so little time, physically and emotionally. he threw his shorts and undershirt on quickly while you dried your hair. as soon as your towel was wrapped around your torso, his hands gripped the back of it firmly to lift you by your ass. the heat in your stomach threatened to burn through the layers of fabric that separated your bodies.

the walk back to the cabin was a flurry of lips on lips and lips on skin, bruises and soft bites. you felt dazed and enthralled as he used your body to push the cabin door open. he practically threw you on your bed and kicked the door closed dramatically. you two were beyond the point of being concerned about noise. once again, if the gods were allowed to be so reckless, what was stopping their kids? lead by example, or whatever.

you were too beautiful to resist, anyway. he pressed light kisses to your lips. the heavy breathing and quiet giggles created a soft rhythm that reminded him of waves crashing against the shore. it was so easy to see your parentage. now that you were claimed, your body seemed to glow around the water. he wished to glow with that much pride, but his dad would never give him the time of day. luke pushed at the towel wrapped around your body, letting it unravel underneath you.

he knew you were beautiful, of course, but seeing you so open to him felt like fireworks erupting from his chest. he couldn’t stop smiling as he brought his lips back to yours.

he didn’t seem to want to take his time, although he wasn’t rough by any means. he pressed gentle kisses to your lips first, and then your cheeks. next it was your forehead, a quick one on the nose (which made you giggle) and one on the chin. then it was open mouthed kisses to your neck, forming subtle bruises in a line down to your collarbones. he traced that line until he reached the skin of your chest. instead of giggling, you were panting. he paused.

“luke!” you gasped as he traced his tongue along the curve of your breast, stopping to follow your nipple and suck lightly. he took this as a sign to continue, using his hands to knead your skin as he continued to leave a trail of marks past your torso and down to your lower stomach. he teased you for a while, loving the way you responded to his touch.

“may i?” he fluttered his eyelashes at you almost sarcastically, his mouth level with your center. he lifted himself to comb a hand through his locks and then leaned even further down to blow a puff of air at your clit.

you could only nod, the anticipation blocking your throat from making any noise.

“words, baby.”

“please, luke.”

he gently pressed the tip of his tongue into your wetness, marveling at the wanton cry you let out. he pushed his way up towards your clit, circling it.

you move with a rhythm that only the you two could understand, the son of the god of travelers navigating your body with a supernatural expertise. he knew the best way to please you, bucking his hips against your mattress as you clenched around his fingers.

he knew the best way to please you, thrusting with more force as your limbs jerked.

he knew the best way to please you, continuing his movements as you came, watching you leak around his finger on to the towel you had just been wearing. he backed away from your core, wiping his mouth and chuckling as you returned to earth.

as soon as you made eye contact with him, he was back on you, his fingers roughly rubbing your clit. you whined, sensitive but so desperate to show him how good you could be for him. you rode it out for as long as you could, hoping to get him as excited as he was making you. the longer you edged yourself, the more intense his actions became.

before long, he was laughing in glee as you squirted directly on to his red, sweating face. you were embarrassed - he had never been harder in his entire life. you were perfect for him, and he was going to prove it to you.

you already trusted him with your life. you felt like you could be yourself around him. luke loved you the way you were, despite your strange situation. you were confused when he suggested weeks later that the two of you run away together. he didn’t explain to you his entire plan, but he told you that he had to hurt some people that you loved in order to make the world better. he told you that you would be safer at camp half-blood, but he would love to wake up next to you every morning. he told you he loved you. that was all it took.

you waited for him deep in the forest that day, pushing aside your worries as he approached and tears fell from his eyes. you didn’t know what happened, but you knew it wasn’t good. you didn’t ask.

luke castellan had found his glory in the feeling of your bare skin pressed against his. he thought he needed this, his revenge, his kleos. as he led you through the forest, memories of your full trust that first night heavy on his heart, he knew he was making a mistake.

#SoundCloud #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy series #luke castellan imagines #cal's writing!

487 notes · View notes

sleepyconfusedpotato · 7 months

Text

MWIII Campaign Thoughts and Reviews

(Played in the recruit difficulty because I suck at FPS games, and I want to explore and spent time in the campaign without dying too much). Leave some thoughts!

⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️

So… that was devastating.

(+) To start things off, Makarov - Boy, holy shit. Yes. YESSS. They didn’t hold back with the new Makarov. He’s a mastermind, he’s a charming fella, he’s a psychopath lol. And the fact that he smiles a lot in this campaign just adds to the creepiness. I might get some side-eye here, but this Mak can go head-to-head with the OG!Mak. He’s always onto something, he’s proven destructive, had the 141 hauling ASS to chase him.

Makarov had stolen American missiles from ULF, caused false flag missile attacks on Russian Military base, and successfully orchestrated a false airplane hijacking, all under ULF's name - everything in the span of 48 hours since he got out of prison. I saw people saying that this Makarov ain't got nothing on the OG one has to be inhaling some shit copium because this is only in one single game and he's destroying shit.

I know just one game with rushed development won’t be enough for an iconic character like him, so I’m glad they didn’t kill him.

(-) I absolutely ABHOR, DETEST, LOATH the Open Combat Missions (OCM). It is so very not Call of Duty campaignesque. it doesn’t help anything with the narrative, and if anything, it even took away the narrative for us. The former missions in former games are iconic in their own way because the mission designer put a lot of thought into how the game will be played, the situations we found ourselves in.

But OCM's, we're like... Left to our own devices without any story-driven dialogues.

I think one of the reasons why MWII was so close to everyone's heart was because of the banters between the characters, especially in Alone. Here, because it's literally our choice and our time, it left us with no actual given time to know and love the characters more than we already did. Yes we love the characters, MW19 and MWII did that for us. But in this one? They said "character development is done, mate. Now go to war.”

Then again, is OCM a product and evidence of MWIII’s rushed development? 100% yes. I don’t give a shit if they cover it with “oowh we make OCM so you can play the missions differently each time without repeating the same mission over and over again!”. Let me ask you this, Activision - Have ‘repeating the mission over and over again’ been a problem with us campaign-enjoyers? No! I played the MWII campaign like 5 times, in all difficulty (except realism I still love my life), and I enjoyed it, because the mission designers took a lot of time and thought to it instead of just creating a map, putting a bunch of loadouts scattered around the area and throw us in it. So yes, it’s clear that OCM is a product of rushed development. It sucks the life out of the campaign missions.

Some people may enjoy it, but I play the campaign exactly for the linear style missions, not DMZ style.

(+) Look, I said it before that I will go to the campaign with the lowest expectation possible. I expected Mak to be sub-par, I expected them to play safe with the characters, and BOY WAS I WRONG. Setting aside the point above where the character feels stuck on the character development (which is a huge minus btw), all the characters have time to shine in their own missions, especially Price because I feel like we play him the most. However, I do also love the fact that the girls get shit done here. Farah and Laswell did their work so beautifully and apparently it was revealed that Laswell will be a MP operator, so that’s cool.

(+) Ghost being a menacing presence, can stood his ground. Price being level-headed though at the same time unhinged as usual. Gaz being the voice of reason throughout the entire fucking game LMAO. Soap being the brave man he is, the passion and fury is evident throughout the campaign. Farah being badass and dependable as usual. Alex being the main supportive guy to Farah (Faralex is canon at this point argue with a wall). Nikolai being our most reliable get-away guy.

And of course, Graves and Shepherd being the fucking goofy ahh duo I actually find interesting. The trial cutscene was such a goofy scene LMAO the fact that they backstabbed each other in the ass is real funny. I side with Graves though. However wrong and unhinged he may be, Graves is just a guy doing his job and did what he’s told to do.

(+) I love the fact that Mak tried to frame Urzikstan to pin the blame on them. It's exactly what the OG!Makarov did but in HD. The Passenger mission is phenomenal and more damn traumatizing if only it was a bit longer and more stretched. There are many more reference to the OG games and I absolutely love it.

Now…

Soap’s Death

Remembering all the MWII missions with Soap... It hits differently now, man.

(-) I've read a lot of people's arguments about it that the fact that it happened is just for shock value and kind of disappointing. Because let’s be real here, Soap is an SAS who got the name Soap because of how much of a slippery bastard he is. Granted, Mak is an ex-Spetsnaz and can fight with Soap. But how he went down in a goddamn takedown without any chance of fighting is just… it’s not it.

To add to that, the reaction from the boys is just... Underwhelming? Like I get it they're battle-hardened SAS soldiers, but let them show some damn emotions for fuck’s sake. One of the main reason why the OG!Soap’s death is really painful is because of Price’s reaction to it. How he said “NO. NO NO NO SOAP!!” While he shook Soap’s lifeless body in the table. At least let Price kneel to him, straighten his body, touch his vest. Close his eyes, gather Soap’s hand and PUT HIS GUN ON his chest all the while Ghost and Gaz knelt beside them. I do love the fact that they literally went to Scotland to let go of his ashes with Ghost holding the urn though. I cried in this scene.

And the fact that it happened with the shortest campaign out of all the reboot MW games, it just felt rushed. Yes. It’s completely rushed, there’s no doubt about it. Again, the result of rushed developments.

(+) Now, with that said, I kind of want to shed light on how Soap is literally the youngest guy in the group. He had so much to live for. He's a sunshine in the middle of this gruff emotionally hardened man. He's such a joy to be around. He's brave. He's fresh. The fact that he's got so much to live for adds to the sadness and bitterness, which I actually like.

Sometimes I do kind of like those kinds of deaths, where the character is too soon to die, because it hit so much harder and in a different way than the OG! one. We got to see the OG!Soap went from when he was an FNG, turn to a captain, to a man of fortitude that earned Price's honor and sacrificed himself to protect Price. We saw how he developed and changed. We saw his entire career with us throughout all the OG!MW trilogy.

Reboot!Soap's story barely even started, and the fact that he's still so young, imagining how he'd be one hell of an officer, how he'd lead his team in the future.

OG!Soap’s death is sad because all the times and memories we’ve been through with him, but Reboot!Soap’s death is equally sad for the times we could’ve gone through with him.

I want to say this though, some people said that Soap's death is sudden, but I wouldn't agree with that. I think the telltales are all there.

In the helicopter scene after Price and Soap caught him in Verdansk, Mak literally SAID HIS FULL NAME. That is a literal pinpoint death sentence from Makarov. And how emotional Soap’s reaction is compared to the other boys when the airport blew up. The signs are literally all there! I saw it coming actually.

So is Soap’s death rushed? Yes. Could it have been executed better? Yes. Is it for shock value? Yes. But is it as sad? Yes. Honestly, I blame the rushed development and due dates for this. Activision is a cash grabber who wanted a yearly release so they can catch more money. I fucking bet my ass that initially they didn’t want to kill Soap, but it’s like a last-minute decision to make this game actually look like it’s worth 70 dollars.

Like by the end of the game, nothing has been accomplished. Big Bad Guy is on the loose, and we lost Soap. Yea we did stop some of Makarov's attacks, but we ended with a loss. It's a completely sad ending. I just wish we get to continue with more missions after Soap's death like in OG!MW3 though :(

WHAT'S NEXT?

Now. Shepherd is positively fucken dead. Price is now an actual criminal and a fugitive. He just killed a 4-star US Marines general in his own office. Price is entering his insane and unhinged era. I do wonder if he'll go even more unhinged than this.

The story will undoubtedly continue in the MP seasons (although probably only 2 seasons that mattered because it'll also undoubtedly be filled with skins and collabs and shit). I think it will also focus more on transitioning to the next CoD games, which will be Black Ops (It is confirmed that for the 2024 and 2025 CoD, it will be Black Ops games).

We're talking future here, so if there's going to be a CoD MWIV, It might be possible that this is the game where we'll finally defeat Makarov while the 141 copes with losing Soap. I do wonder if Price will become too unhinged and will get rid of everything on his way to kill Mak. Price's reckless acts will become too much for Gaz that it's starting to hurt other people and himself, and Gaz will do something against Price's command or wish - and Ghost will have to choose a side. Now that's the kind of drama I want to see.

What do I score this campaign, what do I score this campaign... The story is actually good, but because the development is evidently rushed, the packaging feels a bit hollow. It's a 7/10 for me!

---

Wait you know what

We get to pet a dog named Riley. 10/10, Game of The Fucking Year.

Reboot!Logan/Hesh (?) 👀

---

So there it goes! If you've read this far I love you and Activision will pay for my therapy (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

#call of duty modern warfare iii spoilers #call of duty modern warfare 3 spoilers #mwiii spoilers #mw3 spoilers #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw #cod #call of duty modern warfare III #call of duty modern warfare 3 #call of duty modern warfare 2023 #task forc 141 #tf141

693 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 4 months

Text

This Week in BL - The unexpected rise of cooking crush & seme bjs

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 9 of 12 - I love this show so damn much. This may be my KinnPorsche. It’s just so endlessly entertaining in a perfectly unhinged way. I love that they looped Tharn’s dad back into the murder investigations.

You know kinksters have invented necklaces that can’t come off… right? Just saying.

Meanwhile, would it still be BL if our seme didn’t wake up from drowning and instantly go chase snake?

No. No it would not.

Remember the one hard and fast rule of BL? When a seme gives a BJ it’s penance. Phaya is apologizing to Tharn for leaving him behind.

Heh. Hard and fast. I kill me.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 14 - How is this absurd creature managing to rise in the ranks? Pavel turned in some stellar grief and ALANJEFF have my whole heart. I make Ikea puns in the... Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 7 of 12 - The make-out montage was absolutely charming and very much American rom com style - interesting (and rare) to see in a BL (not to mention from OffGun. How far we have come since Puppy Honey?)

Meanwhile, another wonderful grandma in a BL!

Next week we do an actual harken back to Puppy Honey, so obviously I’m now enjoying this whole show way more than before. I think it helped that I watched it earlier in the week, when it wasn’t competing with any other BLs.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - Not gonna lie, I knew from you all that this was gonna be a rough ep. But I very clearly remember the penultimate Bad Buddy ep so I now have slightly more trust than others in GMMTV on this matter.

That said, this was a crap episode.

You can’t set Mork’s truth and character motivation reveal up like that and then have his lover choose to dismiss him in a way that diminishes not just both character's growth AND all of Mork's actions towards Day, but also our faith in every other character. It was a shitty narrative thing to do to us, and it was a shitty thing to do to Mork. And that doesn’t even take into account the forgiveness allotted by the story to Day’s unrepentant excuse for a mother. The doom should have been handled differently. The mom shoudl have leaned in even more evil and actively lied to split them apart.

I don't know if they can redeem this misstep in the final episode. But I'm interested to see them try. That said, this plot seem to be true to the book.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - A major trigger has landed. But also it’s clear who’s fault that incident was... and it’s not Him’s. So Blue's so-called-friend really is unhinged. This episode was a little bit more engaging than last week, but it’s only because stuff actually happened. I’m still not sure I enjoyed it.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 12fin - Despite the fact that I’ve been annoyed by the show the last couple of episodes, I’m still sad for it to end. It was a good reveal and First had the right response. Also a very sports way to end it. Sprite is a v clingy bf.

In brief?

A messy very Thai pulp sports romance that actually managed to involve sports in an identical twins trading-places plot. Basically Not Me meets HIStory 2 Crossing the Line (although vastly inferior to either) with an endearing main character and a good lead pair (poor things), both soapy and earnest without too much camp. It tried so hard but the plot, side couples, and extraneous characters let us down. Passable if not great. 7/10

Time the series (Thai Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Eh. Whatever.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 22 of 24 - skipped this installment

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Funny how quickly he retracted that confession and everyone called him out for doing it too soon (including me from a narrative beats perspective). It was a cute screw up - I see what your meta-arse is doing there, Japan. Also our Tokyo-boy’s serious reserved earnestness is extra adorable in the surrounded by Osaka enthusiasm context. His accidental flirting is that much more heart wrenching for our poor baby seme. And they ended this ep with honorific negotiations!! Be still my heart. I’m really adoring this show.

Your hyung romance super fan is back in the game!

Meanwhile the Osaka accent is beyond adorable.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Japan what are you doing? I do love the not-sorta-ex from the past.

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - I loved all the young people in the hawker center supporting the campaign against the terrible mother. They make a good domestically sappy couple. But that is Taiwan's specialty.

In brief?

A sweet if aimless story about a writer and a chef finding love via noodles, fake dating, and family challenges. If it had a tighter script and a shorter run, more like a KBL this might’ve been quite special. But it didn’t and it lost me too many times. 6/10

I don’t like to be disappointed by Taiwan.

It's done: I Need to Catch up

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam so I assume it's on YouTube. I never even noticed. Anyone?

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - Is TRUST Entertainment bringing us the first ever Burmeses BL? I don't know if it's really the first, but @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch through.

It's Airing But...

[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Beside You (Thai YouTube) - a 3 sp short that's supposed to have started but I can't find it.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Ends next week. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

In Case You Missed it

All my year-end round ups:

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023

2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10

All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

BL 2023's Best:

Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere

Cute Bits of Domesticity

Boys Feeding Boys

BOOP!

Best Cuddles

Heads in Laps

Touching Head Touches

Thailand Put His Head on Your Shoulder

Put Your Head on My Shoulder (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES FROM THAILAND

Next Week Looks Like This

1/23 Happy Ending is a new high school set Strongberry 20 min short staring the actor who played Milk on Choco Milk Shake, so... YES PLEASE. I'm not sure where it will air but we all have our fingers crossed for Gaga or YT. Or both.

1/24 Love For Love's Sake (Korea Gaga & iQIYI)- based on the Manhwa ‘Love Supremacy Zone’ by Hwacha. A young man is dropped into a game based off a novel he loves. His mission is to make another player, YeoWoon happy. But then the game starts unfolding completely different from the novel.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Viva la BL grandma superiority! (Cooking Crush)

Cooking Crush casually givign us some lovely lesbians (as indeed did The Sign). GL makes for a lovely acessory BL, carry on.

Now GMMTV, give us the REVERSE.

I love this dork SO MUCH. (Pit Babe)

I love that Cherry Magic is doing this scene over. One of my favs from the original.

Yai is BEST BOY. MVP and most likely the winner for 2024's Namgoong award.

(Last week)

200 notes · View notes

the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

Text

Creepypastas comforting the reader

except some of them arent particularly good at it + as per usual jeff ben and toby are written as platonic everyone else can be seen as either or writing a silly little thing before i tackle in on requests, falling into the same vibe as the "hugging/kissing creepypasta characters" post from last week since i do enjoy rating these lads on thing ehehehe obligatory "these style of posts go over my personal character limit but since this is writing for the admin he bends the rules a bit" anyways uhuh totally dont give me ideas for these eheheh winks

SLENDERMAN:

not much of a talker in general, and i think that remains true in scenario where you're upset/crying. but he does make it clear that hes here for you... just... in a general sense. you know? refuses to leave you alone unless you directly ask him that you need space; more so watches out of concern rather than his usual curiosity. i think he would make you a warm drink and let you vent to him. more of a logical approach than an emotional one; better at giving solutions rather than giving comfort.. though i like to think that his tentacles will pull you close if you want to lean into him, will let you cry into his shoulder with no judgement. 6/10 low score simply because sometimes one needs comfort in the moment instead of solutions, you know?

SPLENDORMAN:

i think hes the opposite of slenderman. hes all emotions first, logic later. if he already knows you comfortable with it, i think he would come in and scoop you up in a hug.. hell he might even cry with you, or do the equivalent of it (admin is still on the fence of whether or not he has eyes or not! torn between them being actual eyes or markings) will make you your favorite snacks and drinks, all the while letting you cry and vent to him. gets mad on your behalf if someone had done you wrong, does not make your feelings feel small or invalidated. if he could he would confront the person who treated you unfairly.... and in fact he might, who would ever believe the person that they came face to face with a ten foot tall monster? though... this can lead to him being a little quick to make choices that might have big impacts... 7/10 love this man need to write more for him and develop my hcs

EYELESS JACK:

you know now that i think about it, given how much i write for EJ, i swear ive done a similar prompt at some point. regardless of it i did and if my hcs are the same, im going to go ahead and drop my hcs. i think hes very similar to slenderman in terms that hes more of a solutions > emotion person.. though i do think hes more likely to join you in any shit talking if someone did you dirty... do i think he would target that person next when hes going to go 'hunting'? no... unless the person did something truly awful and unforgivable, then he would definitely consider it.. probably wont go through with a harvest, though.. but thats it whole other thing. more of a talker than slenderman, so at least he has that going for him. lets you sleep in his bed if youre venting to him in his cabin 7/10 one point higher than slenderman simply because he talks more n stuff

LAUGHING JACK:

im gonna be so real i think he can go either way if hes going to be good at comforting you. on one hand hes too silly and might not take it too seriously; or he might try to make you laugh.. which COULD work but other times makes it look like he doesnt care about your feelings. on the other hand i think he can give some solid adivce, but thats only based on the fact that i love it when unhinged hyper characters suddenly drop the most valuable info. shrugs. i mean if you need a distraction, i think lj is your man to go to ! he was literally made to entertain so i dont think its going to be too hard for him to take your mind elsewhere. i think he would offer to cook you something but i also think hed probably be banned from the kitchen because he cant cook for shit. has probably set water on fire somehow level shit. so instead you guys just sit together talking... mostly its him leading the conversation, though. doesnt leave you be until you at least give him a smile... 6.5/10 only because i dont know how to rate him here

MASKY/TIM:

oh not at all emotional. well no thats a lie but hes not very emotive. thats the more correct word. look if we're talking about masky, hes probably going to be really bad at comforting you unless your means to be comforted involves being watched... though i do think he would fall into the act of service hole.. does all the chores and such for you so you dont have to worry yourself about cleaning a pan thats been in the sink for two days now. tries his hand at cooking, but i dont think masky is the best cook.. TIM on the other hand.. but we'll get into that in a minute. probably ends in you guys ordering something but hey its the thought that counts. if someone made you upset you notice over the course of the next few weeks that person starts outright avoiding you and overall seems anxious. weird. probably unrelated! 7/10 only because im badly overworked irl and the idea of someone taking charge sounds like a dream

tim i think would be similar, but hes more expressive for you... will cook for you but if your favorite food happens to be really specific or something else, hes probably going to run out and get it. torn on whether or not he would tell you before he goes, or if he sticks to keeping it a surprise.. i think he would tell you just so it doesnt feel like hes abandoning you when youre down..! not much to be said here other than him being supportive 8/10 i would KILL for some white cheddar popcorn rn

HOODIE/BRIAN:

i think he would put you to bed. actually i think both of them would but to keep things clear im still going to divide this like masky/tims. i think hoodie is going to keep you in bed, even if youre not particularly tired. dont bother trying to fight him on it, hes only allowing you to get up for the bathroom. let him take care of things! very similar to masky, picks up on a lot of the chores. i think he can cook, though, definitely better than masky but i dont think hes like. top tier. likes making you little snacks, or food thats generally deemed as comforting (mac and cheese, cornbread, ect). doesnt talk (sign) much but will occasionally sign to you asking how you're feeling 7.5/10 love this man, so mad kid me used to sleep on hoodie

very similar, but an even better cook than hoodie so be prepared to eat good. communicates with you more than hoodie and makes small talk while cooking. i think he would keep the chat lighthearted and on a different topic rather than tackling your feelings, unless you express that you want to vent then hes all ears! not because he doesnt care more so because he doesnt want to seem prying or nosey and wants to give you the choice yourself. sometimes makes jokes about stuff in order to try to get you to smile. feels victorious when he succeeds 8/10 mad i slept on him too

TICCI TOBY:

i think he might actually be TOO strong and in your face when asking you what happened. only one who outwardly offers to krill someone if someone were to make you upset. but thats just because i think toby can occasionally get protective of you. i mean youre one of his best friends (only friends) and here you are upset! if you dont want him to do anything hes going to try to contain himself. he strikes me at the type to retreat to the roof and look up at the stars... i think he would offer to do that with you; but if youre too scared to climb then he can lay out a blanket for you so you guys can go sit on the grass! surprisingly a very good listener, though very emotionally driven and reacts a lot when you tell him the details of your day.. but its nice, i think, reassures you that hes is in fact listening.. 7/10 gives off brother vibes

JEFF THE KILLER:

ohhoho so this is an interesting one, because i like the idea of jeff still acting like an older brother every now and then even after everything. but he also has that attitude of "i dont care about anyone around me and im better than everyone".. more of an actions than words guy. he wont really say it.. you know? one of those "if he actually didnt care then he would bother giving you the time of day, much less break into your house at night with his arms full of your favorite snacks and drinks". good luck trying to vent to him though, i think its rare that he lets anyone vent to him since he also holds the "ew yucky feelings" thing ben has.. though once in a blue moon i think he would let you and give some decent advice... though every now and then that advice involves punching someone 6/10 is fair i think...

BEN DROWNED:

kind of reminds me of how younger siblings will give their older siblings know they like. kind of like the "my brother saw me crying and asked me what my favorite color is... he gave me things in that color" post/image going around that i cannot for the life of me find but i know it exists because it made me cry. i think its like that. except since hes in your phone he already knows what your interests are.. probably pulls up what your comforts and likes are in an attempt to cheer you up. i dont think he would bluntly speak with you about your feelings, but thats just because he thinks heart to hearts are yucky and cringe/lh. uses videos, art, stuff like that. ehehe silly phone ghost 7/10 because as simple as it is, if someone tossed my cc at me i would feel at least a little better for a moment and its the action itself you know?

PUPPETEER:

i thin hes similar to jeff in regard that he tries to play things off but deep down he does care, and that tends to show more through his actions... though i personally think if you were to actually cry then he might lose it a bit, because who DARE? i gotta admit, im still trying to figure out how i want to write pup and what hcs to give him, but i think.. this is an okay take.. might 'confront' anyone who made you upset, with or without your approval which might make some issues between the two of you.. more ready to let you vent to him though, might slip out some mean insults and words about whatever's got you upset regardless of its a person, chance, or object 7/10

172 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 2 months

Note

Hi there, I saw in one of your tags recently that "if you think the raven queen was being unfair, I'm not really interested in your opinions." I was wondering if you could talk a little more about that because I'll be honest, Vax isn't my favorite character but I've seen all of C1 and I really don't get why some people HATE the RQ, call her unfair, manipulative and pretty plainly say this moon conflict is mostly her fault because she took Vax and through a Domino effect Ludinus is releasing Predathos. Also, I enjoy your theories and analysis for CR so much you got me listening to Midst, so thank you.

Hi anon,

Great question! This is going to be a very long post, with a relatively short initial answer, because there is both the literal misinterpretation that indicates this is not someone with strong analytical skills nor knowledge of canon, and a number of potential mindsets that lead to this manner of thinking in the first place, none of which I respect. You happen to have sort of hit upon the foundational elements of my whole deal re: CR meta, so, buckle in.

The first part is simple: Vex died because Percy triggered a trap before she'd been healed up. We've seen this sort of trap elsewhere in non-divine contexts (Folding Halls of Halas); it's just a form of trap. A particularly nasty one, but this is for a very powerful relic she doesn't want falling into the wrong hands, and, moreover, the party could have likely disabled it either through rogue skills or magic had Percy waited. Vax, then, as the third part of the resurrection ritual, told the Raven Queen to take him instead of Vex. The Raven Queen did precisely as he asked. He did not need to offer this (Scanlan was going to make an offering, the other parts of the ritual had gone well, it was Vex's first death so the DC was low, and Vax could have made any number of other, less dramatic offers), and he did so with the understanding that he would die in lieu of Vex, right then and there. He did not. I think that's the only case, actually, where the Raven Queen was not 100% upfront with her intentions before Vax accepted something; but he offered it voluntarily. Vax was a person who formed extremely intense connections, to the point where it was perhaps unhealthy, and did not believe life without his sister was worth living, and was willing to sacrifice himself to a god.

Everything after that was extremely straightforward. Vax communed with the Raven Queen, who spoke very directly with him in his vision in the Raven's Crest. She was extremely clear when she met with him following his disintegration: he was given the option to refuse her offer, and he took it instead. It is not manipulative to give someone a difficult decision, and if a character you like makes a choice you don't like, it is not automatically the result of manipulation.

As for the moon conflict being her fault…that is, to put it bluntly, unhinged, and what's more, ironic given that that's the manipulative argument. Ludinus tried to commune with Ruidus using a random crystalline artifact beneath Molaesmyr, centuries before Vax was born. He was going to do this regardless. If he couldn't get Vax, he'd get some other sliver of divinity, and what's more, it's been all but stated that Vax is not actually supposed to be leaving the Shadowfell to protect Keyleth, and is disobeying the Raven Queen directly (and it's been stated that this isn't necessarily helpful for Keyleth, who is trying to grieve and move on). So: Vax made his choices with the knowledge of what they entailed, is trying to bend if not break the conditions to which he agreed with full knowledge in a way that probably isn't healthy for him or Keyleth, and it's bananas to be like "wow look at how the Raven Queen made Ludinus try to free Predathos." Like. Even if she had tricked Vax, which she didn't, Ludinus literally could have just kept on his racist imperialistic longevitymaxxing beat indefinitely and left the moon well enough alone. The domino meme is a meme. I mean, while we're at it, couldn't we trace it back to Vecna instead, for killing Vax with Disintegrate in the first place, since had he not done so, Vax would have either survived that fight or would have been resurrected normally? Or perhaps it's Percy for triggering that trap. Or the Chroma Conclave for being the reason why Vox Machina was seeking the Deathwalker's Ward in the first place…but that only happened because Allura and Kima didn't kill Thordak but rather sealed him, and because a priestess of Melora cursed Raishan so that she had reason to ally with Thordak. We can go on indefinitely; the point is, to assign blame specifically to the Raven Queen when Ludinus literally did not have to do a goddamn thing with the moon is a fucking stupid take.

Below the cut, I talk root causes behind why people might decide the Raven Queen was unfair and come up with the above nonsensical argument to support that, since I don't think people say stupid things just to be stupid.

I think one root cause for this mentality of this is that the person in question wishes Vax hadn't died and is looking for someone to blame because they don't want to blame Matt Mercer and Liam O'Brien, even though yeah, that's who to blame. The thing is, as we learned in Campaign 2, character death is quite literally on the table. Had Vax not made his bargain, either in episode 1x103 or his original one during Vex's resurrection? He might have simply remained dead. Had he not given his life for Vex's, he was pursuing paladin anyway with the Everlight, and we don't know what she'd have required of him. But more importantly, for all people like to bring up a PC-centric perspective (which, in Actual Play, is inevitable) Vox Machina's frequent use of resurrection spells was in fact a massive privilege most people in Exandria do not have. And, unsurprisingly for a table whose DM made up rules specifically to make resurrection more difficult, the Critical Role cast is open to a story where death exists. I do not think it's an accident that resurrection has been made even harder in the subsequent campaigns. I also happen to think that Campaign 1 is a far richer and better story with Vax's death, given the other events that occurred. Had Vax not been the sort of person who would offer his life for a god to take in exchange for his sister? Sure, he'd possibly have lived to the end. But he was, and that's the character those people who wish he were still alive loved. If he wasn't that person, they wouldn't have liked him in the same way.

D&D is fundamentally about exceptional characters becoming more powerful, and will be focused on those characters. I do not think D&D supports a story about characters who reject all power. They can give up political power (the Mighty Nein, for the most part, do this - certainly more so than Vox Machina, and Bells Hells is yet to be seen) but they will progress in levels, which is power. Even if unwanted, it is power, because most people in the world are commoners with 5 HP and 10 in all their stats. With that said, a lot of people desperately want a subversion of this power narrative. Vax is, I think, the closest we get. In D&D you are not going to get a player character who finishes a campaign and remains Just Some Guy. But you can have someone like Vax, who doesn't have any interest in power (compare to Vex, who very much is about power and who gets a much happier ending) who nonetheless ends up on the Tal'Dorei Council and the favored of a god…and yet, in the end, his equally powerful friends still can do nothing to save him. I think a Power Bad story is overly simplistic, but "there are limits to power, and ultimately none of us have complete control" is not. I think Vax's death gives the story of Vox Machina a finality and heft that it would lack otherwise.

A second possible cause is the "What if the gods are BAD" argument. I'm going to be totally honest: I did not see this in the fandom until Campaign 3, and honestly, not until EXU Calamity in any widespread sense, which does lead me to believe that most people did not come up with it as a reasonable idea on their own until characters started saying it, because it is so plainly in conflict with the themes of Campaigns 1 and 2 that to make this argument would be obvious projection. Do I think a nuanced view of the gods as flawed beings, rather than perfection, is warranted? Absolutely. Mortals, too, are flawed, and we don't kill them all for it. I think Vax's story makes them uncomfortable because it makes it clear divine favor is not, as Ludinus Da'leth tries to argue, the gods just bestowing and withholding their gifts arbitrarily, but rather that divine favor comes with a divine responsibility as well. Clerics and paladins do not study the way wizards do; but they must live lives in service, whereas a wizard can shut the book at the end of the day and do whatever. Clerics and paladins have powers that can be taken away; a wizard does not. That's the fundamental concept behind the Age of Arcanum - wizards trying to get around the fundamental rules of this world! Vax's paladin powers came at a price. His options are guided, but also limited, by the oath he took. He is far more fettered than a wizard, in the end, and I think that fucks with the narrative of the gods cruelly withholding their gifts from all but a select few, so they instead make their gifts into manipulative punishments…while still, contradictorily, arguing that characters such as Laudna or Ashton or Imogen were denied the mercy of the gods. Now, setting aside the obvious, that these characters have their backstories because Marisha and Taliesin and Laura decided they would because this is a story, and one in which someone had a perfect life would be boring and so the gods didn't intervene with Laudna because Marisha Ray wanted to play a Sun Tree corpse (see next section), it really is fascinating to see how people who hate the Raven Queen so neatly align with Ludinus. It's fine for sorcerers to have inborn powers, apparently, and Ludinus actually has himself tried to ape druidic magic; it's not about power, it's just about that power source. Honestly, they're not even above the gods as a power source - Ludinus used the crystal beneath Molaesmyr seemingly unaware if it were of the Archheart, and he's demonstrably using Vax, and everyone loves a resurrection from the gods, but heaven forbid you pay someone for the work you feel yourself entitled to. (Entitlement: this will also be a theme throughout the rant portion of this post.)

As a brief subsection to this: the idea that bad things happen to good people because the other side of that coin is free will is an ancient theological and philosophical discussion, and one we are obviously not going to solve here, though it is a little depressing I have had multiple rewarding conversations on this topic, thanks to an academically rigorous religious education, starting from the tender age of 9, and a lot of adults on Tumblr seemingly can't engage on the level of my third-grade classmates. I think, however, it tells a truth that fits in well with the wizard (and entitled fan) desire to control everything. People are terrified of random forces. Cancer, for example, is a matter of probability. There are things that can increase your chances of developing cancer, to be sure, but the simile I used when I was taught about radiation-induced cancers was that of lottery tickets: if you buy more, you have a better chance; but sometimes someone who bought a single ticket "wins" and someone who bought a ticket weekly never does. By believing the gods of Exandria are on trial for not intervening with every little hardship or for not taking Vax precisely as he intended, they reveal a profound terror of random chance and of the free will of people who are not them. Which is very funny when you consider we're watching Actual Play, where random chance is a deliberately induced element. I think the takeaway of all of this is "I think some of you guys are really mad this is a D&D game." But let's continue.

The third, and honestly most likely cause, is honestly sort of a continuation of the first but not centered around Vax so much as just a general, in my opinion deeply childish discomfort of any sort of tragedy or unhappiness in fiction. I've noticed this a lot lately, and I am not a cultural critic and don't have a high enough level view to pretend to be one, but as others have noted a lot of people seem affronted when whatever show they are currently watching does not meet their specific standards of "comfort media" or "hopepunk." It's a self-infantilization I don't care for, and it's certainly not limited to the CR fandom (see: any grown-ass adult passionately defending a choice to only watch children's cartoons and only read YA) or even fandom at all (see: the baffling popularity of the Mr. Rogers "look for the helpers" line which was intended for anxious young children, not for adults who can and should be the helpers). It really came into focus for me with CR when people referred to both EXU Calamity and to Candela Obscura's Circle of Needle and Thread as specifically "hopeless." They are, to me, deeply hopeful series. They are sad, and tragic, and many characters do not get a happy ending, but they are ultimately about how some people will endure, and will live on and find meaning after great loss. Calamity explicitly states that because of the actions of the heroes, while devastation will occur, total annihilation is mitigated. It's like the adage of how courage only means something in the face of fear; hope only means something in the face of darkness. Happy and fluffy tales are not hopeful; they are merely not things that require you to have hope. The root word of catharsis is that of cleansing and purgation and it originally related to physical excretion - cathartic stories are about getting those complicated and ugly emotions and fears out and feeling better for it by briefly feeling, perhaps, worse! Now, again, this has worsened with Vax's story with time. Shortly after Campaign 1, it was very common to see stories where Vex or Keyleth were utterly distraught, indefinitely, but those at least were engaging with grief, even if in a very shallow and unproductive way. But this has morphed into this idea that the fact that a work of fiction might make you even feel sadness makes it bad, and wrong, and hopeless, and the machinations of a cruel and heartless god. Which brings me back to the entitlement narrative: it's really as simple as "the story didn't give me what I wanted (whether that was a happy ending for Vax, or for Keyleth, or just a lack of sadness generally, or a narrative about the gods that validates my personal beliefs, or a way to justify Ludinus's actions), so it is bad." Which again is about being in control of the narrative, which again, in D&D, is simply not something anyone can claim. Why are these people here watching a D&D game? I don't know.

So that's really it: on a basic level, if you think the Raven Queen is unfair, you are profoundly ignorant of canon, so I'm already going to have to fact check anything you cite (if you cite at all), but there's a much deeper refusal to meet stories where they are and expand one's own comfort zone at play, and that means any analysis will never consider the possibility that your pre-existing beliefs were wrong (absolutely crucial in meta). You will always play it too safe and be uninspired and reactionary because the alternative is uncertainty and fear. I think a refusal to embrace tragedy in fiction is itself a profound tragedy; that is someone who is terrified to believe that life goes on.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #long post #candela tag #ngl i'm torn about not maintagging this; kind of want to but it does go somewhat far from the original topic

128 notes · View notes

queer-reader-07 · 3 months

Text

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

#well wasn't that fun?#now excuse me while i go hide from the internet because my feelings are being perceived #anyway #trans love everything!#good omens #trans books #t4t romance #trans

111 notes · View notes

jeonqkooks · 1 year

Text

our beloved summer | jjk (06)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, kissing (omg k1ss1ng omg WHO IS IT ??? 😦), tbh this is the only warning i wanted u guys to read cuz 6 chapters in and we finally get sum action i feel like that's a win lmaooooo, jimin being Real as fook, unbeta'd cuz uhm i'm a godless menace who should be conked on the head, once again we are severely lacking jk in his own fic lol i'm owning up to this 🤗 BUT! this is probably the last chapter where jk feels like a side character lol apologies my dudes

rating: PG-13

word count: 8.1k (honestly i wrote obs6 just so i could get to obs7 lmao that's why it's a lil bit shorter)

note: my apologies if this sucks. you are legally allowed to stone me if you hate it. but i hope you don't hate it. but if you do hate it don't tell me just stone me lol 🤐 why am i so unhinged with this update

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Exile - Taylor Swift (ft. Bon Iver)

The picture is fucking terrible.

“Jimin, what the fuck,” you grumble, staring at the huge framed photo on the wall, taken on the day of the opening party. You, Taehyung and Jimin are gathered on the floor of the dance studio, with boxes of takeout neatly sitting between the three of you. “I look like ass.”

Jimin barely glances at the wall, just continues to stuff his face with the dumplings that you ordered. “You look fine,” he says absentmindedly, mouth full, continuing to munch on the food despite your little dilemma.

“Bitch, I have my eyes closed.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“I look like I’m in the middle of a sneeze.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, squinting at your photographed self again. The more you look at it, the more irritated you become.

Realistically, you know nobody would pay enough attention to notice the immortalized visual of your fluttering eyes, and you yourself wouldn’t care about it that much. Maybe you would even laugh in good spirits and poke fun at yourself as you often do. Make a meme of it for the group chat.

“What’s the big deal?” Jimin asks.

You shrug petulantly. “I told you. I look like ass.”

Yeah, true, but it’s also more than that.

It’s the fact that the person standing next to you looks so good that you must voice your grievances. It’s the fact that he looks so much more than just good.

The guys stop eating to look at you. You wonder just how much of what you’re feeling is written all over your face. Regardless, they don’t comment on it.

One of them clears his throat, shaking the whole thing off.

“Did you tell Yoongi anything yet?” Jimin asks.

You poke at a lone dumpling with your chopsticks, popping the ‘p’ when you say, “Nope.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Jimin scolds you. “It’s been three weeks. He doesn’t want to push you for an answer but the man has got to be suffering.”

You flick a piece of spring onion garnish at him. It lands on his hair, a single bit of green sitting among golden locks. “I don’t know what to tell him!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jimin shakes the onion piece from his head and chucks it back at you. “Obviously you say yes!”

You exhale through your nose, then take a bite of your dumpling. You nibble on the fried dough, stretching out the silence, delaying your response.

It hasn’t even started, and it might not even start. But you’re already thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Yoong is your friend, first and foremost. He’s a good friend, and you would be crushed if you lose that relationship.

What if he hurts you, or you hurt him?

Sometimes, people are meant to hurt each other even if they don’t mean to.

Yoongi hasn’t seen your pieces in all of their jagged glory, how they’re only meant to reflect the light but never be healed by it. He’s still blissfully unaware of the ugly thoughts that have a home inside your head, and you’re afraid if you let him in, he’d realize it’s a place he doesn’t want to be. It’s hard to love a broken thing. You wouldn’t want to love you either.

Maybe this is the real reason that’s been holding you back all this time. Maybe it isn’t Jungkook - though he certainly isn’t absolved - but it’s you, and how you just don’t know if you’re someone who deserves to love and be loved. You’ve felt inadequate more times than you can count. You’ve been left before. Who’s to say it isn’t going to happen again?

You’re well aware that this is a bad way to look at things, but can anyone really blame you? You still have a heart, and despite how fragmented it is, you still want to protect it.

“I know that look,” Taehyung says, parting your fog and pulling you back to him. “You’re overthinking again.”

You roll your eyes. He knows you so well, but does he have to call you out every time?

“I’m not overthinking. I’m regular thinking.”

“Right. And to normal people, that’s overthinking.”

“It’s just…” you wonder out loud, gaze on the floor. “What if I go all in, and Yoongi sees me for who I am and thinks that I’m just an utterly sad person who can’t be loved? That I’m too much work when he’s got literally thousands of people throwing themselves at him left and right?”

Taehyung stares at the side of your face as he bites the inside of his cheek. His tongue soothes the spot, his jaw clenching once. “He’s not going to think that.”

“You don’t know that,” you say, the corners of your mouth tugging down.

“You’re not unlovable just because one person didn’t love you right. So stop it with that bullshit, because I love you,” he says, voice serious. Even Jimin stays silent as he listens to his friend, his eyes flickering between you and Taehyung. “And Jimin loves you. Hobi loves you.”

You merely blink, because you hate it when he’s right. In all fairness, you understand. This is the same thing you would tell him if the situation were reversed.

You deflect anyway. That’s what you do best.

“You don’t count,” you tell him with an unserious scoff, your tone starkly contrasting his. “You’re my family.”

You taste something bitter as soon as the words leave your mouth. You should know better than anyone, that just because someone’s your family, doesn’t mean they have to love you.

Taehyung reenacts the blinking guy meme before chuckling, holding a hand over his chest like you’ve just wounded him. “Ouch.”

“You two are getting nowhere,” Jimin interjects. “Just call Yoongi.”

“And say what?” you ask.

“I told you. Say yes. God, you’re so dense sometimes.”

You reach over to jab a finger into his side, making him hiss and shuffle away from you.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble.

“Well, somebody’s gotta say it.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised for a few seconds before he lowers them and grows more stern. “Come on, Y/N. You know you don’t want to say no, or else you would’ve turned him down already. You said you wanted to start dating again. Yoongi is practically on his knees offering himself to you. What are you waiting for?”

There’s a voice in the back of your head - tiny, barely audible - that whispers, Who are you waiting for?

“Fuck it, I’ll say it,” Jimin continues. “It sucks balls that Jungkook hurt you, but you can’t let that affect you for the rest of your life. Not everyone is going to hurt you. You’re not even giving Yoongi a chance just because someone else did you dirty. If you keep always thinking about the worst possible outcome and banking on it to happen, then you’re never going to get anywhere. I love you, dude, but y’know.”

You stare at Jimin with your mouth slightly open, stunned into silence. When you glance at Taehyung, he’s surprised too, though probably not as much as you.

After a couple of minutes, you say, “Wow.”

“Tough love. I have my moments.” Jimin shrugs casually, like he didn’t just drop a truth bomb on your head. “But also…” He picks his phone up and types something in. Your phone instantly buzzes with a notification.

“Open the link I just sent you,” he says.

“You are literally sitting across from me.”

“Just open it! I made you a playlist.”

“Aw, Jimin, that’s so cute,” you coo softly, reaching over to pinch his cheek before he swats your hand away. You unlock your phone to see what Jimin made you, because that is some friendship hall of fame stuff right there. However, when the link redirects you to your music app, your smile immediately drops.

Aaand he’s back.

You stare at the screen for a good ten seconds to try and find your bearings, flabbergasted at something that is quite honestly very on-brand for Jimin if you think about it. “You made me a playlist called Dick Appointment with an eggplant emoji and the tongue out emoji and it’s mostly just Yoongi’s songs. Even the playlist cover is from his Valentino shoot.”

“So you can get it on while Agust D plays in the background!” Jimin grins, and you could just smack it right off his face.

“Park Jimin, who raised you? You are vile.”

“Validate me,” he demands. Oh, you would smack him. You really would. “I spent hours making that playlist.”

“It’s literally just Yoongi’s songs.”

“Yeah, but I had to curate an experience. I can’t just dump every song into a playlist and call it a day. I gotta make sure they fit the vibe.”

“I literally just heard the most profound shit from you not even two minutes ago.” Then, you turn to Taehyung with an exasperated look on your face. “Why would you let him do this?”

He just waves a dismissive hand in the air, like Jimin isn’t even there. “I’m not responsible for the stupid shit he does.”

Jimin crosses his arms in front of his chest, both eyebrows raised dramatically as he gapes at you. “You both suck. From now on, you can make your own sexytime playlists.”

“Nobody even asked you to do that!” you cry.

“Yeah! Which makes me an even more considerate friend,” he says. “Ugh. Whatever. Go call Yoongi.”

“You want me to do it now?”

“Yes. Because I know you’ll wuss out when you’re alone. You can stay and put him on speakers for us to hear or you can go out into the hallway. Come on, chop chop.”

“No, I have to text him first,” you protest. “What if he’s busy?”

Jimin narrows his eyes at you suspiciously, but allows you this after a moment. “Fine.”

You take out your phone from your bag that’s lying carelessly on the floor to draft a quick message to Yoongi.

[12:59] You: got a minute?

The three of you go back to the food, abandoning the previous topic of conversation in favor of something lighter and meaningless or else you would go crazy waiting for Yoongi’s reply. After you’re finished, you and Taehyung are in the middle of putting away all the empty containers and soda cans when your phone buzzes again.

You go to grab it to look at the notification, hands already starting to sweat.

[13:17] Yoongi: for you? always :)

You turn back to the guys to find them already looking at you. Jimin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively while Taehyung just stares at you.

“Time to get your whore on,” Jimin says in an exaggeratedly sultry voice.

You turn to Taehyung for help. “He’s bullying me.”

“Ignore him,” your best friend tells you gently. “Go call Yoongi.”

When you take your phone out into the hallway, you make sure to go to the far end of it, near the main entrance so the two dorks can’t eavesdrop. You’ll tell them everything once you come back anyway, but you don’t want them within earshot while you’re in the middle of it.

Yoongi picks up your call on the third ring. In the background, your ear picks up on some chatter.

“Hey, princess,” he greets you. Then he holds the phone away from his ear to tell someone that he’d be back in a bit.

“Hey,” you say. “Where are you?”

“Just at a fitting. I have an ad campaign to film next week,” he answers. “Did you call just to get my whereabouts?”

“No, I… If you’re busy, we can talk later.”

“We’re still in the middle of lunch break anyway. What did you want to talk about?”

You briefly regret not taking a minute to psych yourself up before. You suck in a deep breath, which eases your nerves for just a second, long enough for you to say, “Yes.”

You’re met with brief silence from the other end of the line, which only makes your palms more clammy than they already are.

“Yes?” he echoes confusedly. “Yes what?”

“Yes,” you say again. “To…”

The silence commences once more, and lasts longer than you think you can handle. Then, you hear him stop in the middle of a breath.

“Oh.” A subsequent chuckle in response to the lightbulb that must’ve been switched on. “To that?”

“...Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

It feels like you two have invented a secret language that nobody else could understand. A single syllable, bouncing off the metaphorical walls of your conversation. Two idiots sharing the same brain cell.

“Yes?” he continues to prod, but at this point, you know he’s just teasing you.

“Yes! God, stop making me say it again. We sound so stupid.”

He graces you with a hearty laugh that makes you fight back a sheepish smile, even though there isn’t a single soul in sight to witness it. Yoongi makes you so fucking shy for some reason. Your nerves dissolve momentarily as you lean against the wall, your index finger running along a crack in the paint.

“Hmm, I wish you would’ve told me this in person,” he says, his voice soft.

“I can’t handle you in person. You’d tease me so much.”

“Because you’re adorable when you’re flustered, that’s why.” He waits a second before adding, “You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?”

“You’re being overly confident, Min.”

“Maybe,” he responds easily. “But am I right, though?”

“Shut up.”

When Yoongi said he would cook for you, you almost gasped.

“You can cook?” you had asked. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation or anything, but you suppose you’d never given much thought to the hidden sides of him.

“Y/N,” he laughed then. “I’m a great cook. I could probably make a pretty decent career out of being a chef.”

“I didn’t know that,” you told him sheepishly.

“There’s a lot of things you still need to know about me.” It sounded like a promise. Like I’m willing to show you me. Like I’m willing to take the first step if you’d be in this with me too. “Does that sound like a good idea? You, me, dinner at your place?”

“My place?”

“Yeah, so you’ll be more comfortable. I’ll come over.”

This one simple gesture shouldn’t affect you that much, but it does. You appreciate that he’s considerate even when it comes to the littlest things. You swell with gratitude for the thought he puts into this, into putting your comfort first. It made you feel a bit better about yourself, calmed your stormy sea of thoughts enough to rationally accept the fact that he genuinely cares.

Regardless, it doesn’t stop you from spending most of the day obsessively cleaning your apartment. Even - and especially - your bedroom, although you’re sure that is not where the night will end. Every surface is spotless, not a single speck of dust to be found. It’s like the goddamn Pope is coming over for a house inspection.

You haven’t had a first date in… fuck, how long has it been now? Nine years? It’s almost been a fucking decade already? You honestly can’t tell if that’s embarrassing or not.

But you remember the last time.

College, freshman year, with Jungkook. His yellow piece of sticky note that he slipped inside your favorite book. His adorably flustered expression when he timidly stood in front of you in the campus library. The way he was trying so hard to be confident and charming throughout your first dinner together. How he ran back to you after saying goodnight.

No.

You shut your eyes and shake your head, warding off any Jungkook-related thoughts before they could send you spiraling. You can’t reminisce about your ex while waiting for someone else to show. Yoongi deserves better, and that’s what you’re trying to be.

You’re not exactly sure how nice you should dress tonight. Yoongi told you that you could be clad in sweats for all he cares. If the dinner didn’t hold any connotation other than platonic, maybe you would’ve really donned your loungewear like you were merely having Taehyung and Jimin over for pizza.

You’d completely forgotten all the things people worry about in the early stages of dating, when you want to impress the other person but don’t want them to think that you’re trying too hard.

Calm down. It’s just Yoongi. He’s seen you ugly crying with mascara running down your face, for fuck’s sake.

In the end, you opt for a sweater and a comfortable skirt. Casual.

Yoongi rings your doorbell about ten minutes later than when he said he’d be there, holding a bag full of groceries. The visual alone makes you bite back a giggle and subsequently fail. You believe this is what people would call husband material.

You take his coat and guide him into your home. “Welcome to my humble abode,” you say shyly, gesturing around as you lead him into the kitchen to show him where everything is. Why are you acting like this? This isn’t you. If Taehyung or Jimin could see you right now, they would probably laugh. Hoseok would straight up be rolling on the floor.

You barely breathe as you watch Yoongi take in his surroundings. It’s intimidating, even though you know it’s just Yoongi.

“I actually don’t know what I expected, but I like it. It’s very you,” he comments, smiling.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that it’s cute,” he says, throwing you a wink as he leans against your kitchen counter.

You avert your gaze immediately. “Oh… Thanks,” you reply, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. “So, uhm, what are you making? How can I help?”

“Just sit down. I got this.”

“Yoongi,” you say his name in protest. “I want to h-”

“I’m trying to romance you here. Let me do that,” Yoongi says, his smile turning lopsided as he starts emptying the contents of his grocery bags. Even though his tone is light, the gentle reminder of tonight being a date shuts you right up.

You take a seat at your dining table, though you can’t really sit still. As Yoongi starts working, you absentmindedly talk to each other about your day, about his campaign, about Seokjin’s album. At one point, you get up to creep over to his side when the smell of whatever he’s making becomes more prominent. You try to peek at the pot, curious, but he just shoos you away by bumping his hip against yours.

When you give him a small pout, you pretend not to notice the way his eyes dart to your mouth. You retract yourself from his personal space, choosing a spot on the other side of your kitchen island, staring at his back as he works.

You watch him expertly navigate your kitchen like he’s been here before. When he’s finished, he makes you sit down, not even letting you help bring the food to the table.

“What is it?” you ask once he’s settled in his seat, everything plated in front of you.

“Kimchi jjigae,” he says, a proud look on his face. “My mom’s recipe.”

It’s endearing, and it makes you smile.

For the most part, Yoongi lets you eat in peace, though there’s still a couple of flirtatious comments here and there. Every time it comes, you bite down on your bottom lip to try and snap out of that daze before you cough, as if that would help tone down the colors adorning your face. There’s no verbal response from you, and it seems like Yoongi doesn’t expect one either, because he just chuckles. You think he must notice the palpable nervousness that radiates off of you, but it’s not like you’re doing a very good job at hiding it.

You’re taking baby steps and he knows it. The fact that you even agreed to this at all is already major progress.

When you’re done eating, he clears the table while he asks you to open the expensive bottle of wine that he brought over. It does wonders for your nerves.

Three glasses in and you’re visibly more relaxed as you both sit on the couch in the living room, facing each other. There’s a small smile on your face that you can’t help, maybe it’s some of your inhibitions wearing off as a side effect of the alcohol.

You glance around the room, and you take in the sight of Yoongi sitting here, this close to you. He feels bigger than your small world can handle.

“You know,” you start. If the wine didn’t make you more mellow, you probably wouldn’t be saying this. “There are thousands of people thirsting over you every day.”

Yoongi tilts his head, swirling the wine in his glass. “Really?”

“Don’t you look at the internet? I personally know two girls from college who are on the Yoongi Marry Me train,” you say matter-of-factly, like you aren’t borderline tipsy in front of him.

You aren’t an avid Twitter user, but every time you check the damn bird app, Yoongi is almost always trending. In every single one of his posts on social media, there is always an influx of comments asking him to marry them. Not only that, when word first got out about you collaborating with Agust D back then, people you knew - both old friends and acquaintances - practically bombarded your messages to see if it was true, and to ask if you could get them an autograph.

Yoongi stretches out his legs until they brush against yours. Your stomach flips even though it’s only your legs that are barely touching.

“The what train?”

“You seriously don’t know about the Yoongi Marry Me movement? Look it up. It’s a whole thing. People would do anything to, I don’t know, hold your hand or something.”

With an amused look on his face, he holds your gaze. “Would you?”

“What?”

“Would you do all of that just to hold my hand? Because you don’t have to, y’know.” He brings the wine glass to his lips, partially hiding his face from you, and you don’t know whether he’s doing it for your sake or his in preparation for the words he speaks next. “But I would do it to hold yours.”

You’re sure that your cheeks are burning bright, your stomach twisted in knots. It’s the wine, but it’s definitely the effect of his words too. You stare at Yoongi in surprise; no matter how many times he openly flirts with you, he’d still elicit the same reaction from you. It’ll be hard to get used to it. He just always seems to know what to say to make you blush like a schoolgirl, which you resent but you can’t deny the sparks of excitement that make your fingertips tingle.

Yoongi is smooth, and it’s even worse - or is it better? You haven’t decided yet - that you know he means every word he says. It makes you feel… wanted. It’s good to know that he’s being genuine, and to know that Yoongi isn’t the type of person who would ever pull the rug out from under you.

Yoongi is… stable.

You suppose, after everything you’ve been through, that stability is what you need. It’s good for you.

You try to swerve around the thoughts, to avoid them at all costs, but deep down you know now that they’re glaringly true.

That love is stored in two bags of groceries, so filled to the brim that some onions almost fall out. Love is stored in every flick of his wrist holding a knife, slicing the sharp blade across your cutboard. Clean cuts, yet he’s never this way when it comes to you.

Love is stored in a fond smile and adoring eyes when he sees how you cradle your expensive dishware like it’s a newborn baby before you set it carefully on the table.

Love is stored in a Yoongi-shaped silhouette, dancing over your countertops with practiced precision in every movement, filling in the cracks of your home. The love in him is reserved because you, like the moon when it crescents, still have a ways to go.

When he stands at your door an hour later with his coat in hand, you wait for him to speak first.

“Performance review?” he asks. “How did I do?”

“I… liked it. It was nice,” you say honestly. But you still feel the wine in your system, and it makes you bold enough to tease him for a change. “But it was my first date in a while, so it’s hard to tell if that opinion is objective.”

He rolls his eyes fondly. “Do I qualify for a second date then?”

You hum in thought, making him wait on purpose. “Yeah, I guess,” you say, feigning nonchalance, which earns you a hearty laugh.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asks, hopeful.

“Don’t know yet,” you answer, though you’ll probably end up going home and catching up on a kdrama. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Just in the morning. I have a shoot in the afternoon.” He shifts to lean his weight on his other leg, tipping his body closer to you. “But I can pick you up after.”

“Yeah? And where would we go?”

Yoongi shrugs in earnest. “Just drive around? Grab a bite?” he thinks out loud, tilting his head slightly to one side for emphasis. “I could take you to that popup store you mentioned.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “You would stand in line with me to buy a novelty mug?”

“Pretty sure we wouldn’t have to stand in line if I gave them a call,” he says, grinning. “One of the perks of the job, y’know.”

“Must be nice,” you laugh, then shift to lean just a tad closer to him. You look at him for a brief moment before you agree, “Yeah, okay.”

You and Yoongi stand there at the door, each of you on either side of the threshold. This would be an appropriate moment for a kiss, you think. That explosive first kiss, if this were a movie. Exhilaration courses through your veins. You feel it from your head to the tips of your fingers to your toes. The feeling is rendering you a mere teenager again.

It’s exciting because it’s new. You have the entire book ahead of you, waiting to be written. At this point, anything could happen. You’re a blank canvas waiting to be drawn, a blank page hoping to be written.

Wait.

Back up.

A kiss?

A kiss?!

With Yoongi?

You’re thinking about kissing Yoongi?!

Fuck.

Fuck?!

It’s the wine.

Your thoughts knock against each other like bumper cars, echoing loudly in your brain that it almost gives you a headache.

You stay still as Yoongi leans down, your heart racing while your brain just keyboard-smashes. You can’t tell if you want him to kiss you or not, but when he only presses his lips against your cheek, you feel two emotions at once.

The first is disappointment, the second is relief. They press down on you with almost equal force, and you’re not really sure which one weighs heavier.

Baby steps.

You blink when he pulls away, and he just smiles fondly at you as if he can read your mind.

“Goodnight, princess.”

You watch him until he’s in the elevator, until the doors close and the lift descends. Even when you know that he must be on his way to his car and that someone else is making their way up, you stand there, with your hand loosely wrapped around the door handle, your breathing slightly erratic as you process what just happened.

Déjà vu?

It’s oddly reminiscent.

You’ve been here before.

Part of you thinks he’ll burst through the elevator doors, or rush up the stairs if the lift is occupied, and come back to grab your face and kiss you senseless.

He doesn’t.

Jungkook knows you’re probably waiting for Yoongi.

He’s seen Yoongi pick you up after work almost daily over the past couple of weeks, and it’s driving him insane. Even on the days that Yoongi comes to the studio during the day, the guy is all over you, so much so that he doesn’t even bother being a nuisance to Jungkook anymore, which just makes him a thousand times more insufferable.

Something is happening.

He can’t weasel shit out of Jimin anymore because Jimin has been especially tight-lipped after accidentally spilling Yoongi’s confession to you.

Because that should be him in Yoongi’s place. Or should he say his place, and Yoongi is just a placeholder. An imposter.

Because it used to be him that you smiled shyly at.

Jimin’s words have been plaguing his every waking hour since he was forced to hear them. If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too. It feels like he’s rewinding all of your memories, retracing them with cautious fingers only to find that his every footstep is being erased to make room for someone else.

An abandoned dirt road, while you walk down a flower-filled path holding someone else’s hand.

Like you’re stamping him out.

Like he was never there at all.

Not only are you denying him a chance, you’re giving it to someone else. When he tries to move at someone else’s pace, all he gets is left behind.

It’s not about Yoongi; or at least, it’s not just about him. Yoongi doesn’t even really matter to Jungkook in this equation. It’s about what Yoongi represents. An idea of a person that Jungkook can never be.

A bigger life. A stable present and an even brighter future. Yoongi is everything better than him.

And that’s his own problem to deal with, not anyone else’s. At the end of the day, no one has to live with his insecurities but himself.

But still, he can’t help it. Whenever he sees you with Yoongi, his eyes burn. Please don’t let him take my place, he wishes every time, you’re the only good thing about me.

It’s jealousy, sure, of course it’s there.

But what if you realize what everyone else already knows? That Yoongi is better in every single way. That Yoongi is the person who really deserves you.

What if you start to see Jungkook the way he sees himself?

You hating him - despising him with every cell in your body - is a thousand times better than you deeming him unworthy.

“I talked to Jihyo,” he speaks up suddenly, when it’s only the two of you.

“Okay,” you answer, never taking your eyes off the page in front of you. You must have circled the words daisy a thousand times already, wracking your brain for anything that rhymes. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, but good for you.”

At this point, you wonder if you should just avoid the studio for the time being. It’s empty here again. You resent Seokjin for drowning in concept photos. You resent Namjoon for leaving Jungkook here to fend for himself, but it’s only fair, because Namjoon was only supposed to give him a helping hand, not take over the whole thing. You even resent Yoongi a bit, for not being here right this second.

“I talked to her,” Jungkook says again, ignoring your sass. “She won’t give you a hard time anymore.”

This makes you look at him. You never asked him to do this. You never asked him to do anything. In fact, you have only ever implored him to sit still and leave things alone.

“She never gave me a hard time,” you say. Sure, you don’t appreciate being given the death glare first thing in the morning, but it’s not something that you can’t ignore. It doesn’t actively affect you, and the only reason Jihyo does it is because of Jungkook.

Because he broke things off with her?

Because he gives you more attention?

Ugh. Attention?

This is the stupidest and most childish thing you have had to think about in ages.

“You said she acts differently toward you.”

“And aren’t you the reason why?” you counter. “Because you two were fucking?”

Jungkook visibly winces at your words, like he did when you mentioned it the first time in the break room. You don’t mean to be snarky; you’re just stating the facts. They were hooking up.

You don’t harbor any ill will toward any of his past lovers, and that includes Jihyo. You know she doesn’t have anything against you either, at least not on a personal level because you don’t know each other well enough to do so. She’s just someone you pass by every day on your way to the elevator.

“So why did things end?” you ask just for the sake of it, since he was the one who brought it up. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious.

He hesitates for a moment. “She wanted something more and it wasn’t the same for me.”

It’s stupid that the tiny voice in the back of your head resurfaces, hoping that you were the reason why he couldn’t pursue things with another woman.

Jihyo isn’t you, that much is clear. You never asked for anything more from him, not once from start to finish. He was always the first one to pour love into you. It’s arguable which one of you loved the other more - maybe you loved each other equally, just in different ways - but it was a fact that Jungkook always took the initiative. He made the first move so you wouldn’t have to. He gave you the option to match his affection, and never have to worry about being left out to dry.

He took initiative, right until the very end.

You bite your bottom lip, then give him a curt response, “Okay.”

Your phone vibrates with a text from Yoongi but you don’t open it just yet. You look at Jungkook, who only looks back at you. His lips part slightly as he searches for the right words, or any word at all. It’s like you’re asking him to navigate a minefield when all he has to do is be honest. Even if he told you that he fell out of love with you, it wouldn’t be that bad. You would be hurt, yes, but you wouldn’t blame him. You would understand. It would be a reason.

Silence fills the room, save for the continuous tapping of your pen on paper.

He says your name, pleading. “I’m trying here.”

At Jimin’s party, Jungkook said you were someone important to him. You don’t doubt that he meant it, and that’s what infuriates you the most. You’re important, but he keeps running circles around you and making your head spin. You’re important, but everything he’s done makes you think that you’re the opposite. You’re important, just not important enough to get an explanation.

You know he’s genuine about everything he says, but that’s not enough. You can’t sustain yourself on just his words alone.

It’s another cycle of the same conversation, running over and over and over again. He’s reaching out but he’s holding back. You’re still getting nowhere. You don’t know how many times he has to make you ask this, only to not give you any clarity at all.

If there is a trait of Jungkook’s that you both love and hate at the same time, it is that he doesn’t know when to quit.

He texts you every day even when you don’t reply - one for good morning, and one for goodnight. He gets you a chai latte every day, which doesn’t do shit for your concentration because there’s not enough caffeine in it. He gets the door for you whenever you go into the same room together. He hounds your every waking moment. He makes sure that he’s the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thought that crosses your mind before you go to sleep.

I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

You suppose this is him, showing up again. In a lot of ways, it’s selfish. But it’s an effort too. Now your phone is full of meaningless messages that remain unread.

You barely glance at him. It’s routine at this point. He tries in ways that you don’t bother acknowledging anymore, because you figured that the best course of action is to let him wear himself out. When he has had enough of it, when he deems his efforts to be enough to absolve his guilt, he’ll stop. He has to.

But at what point does it stop?

At what point will you stop wanting to give in to him? Your mind rages wars with itself every time you feel his eyes on you, and you have to kill the urge to not turn your head and look at him too. At what point will you stop wanting to go to him and let him in again? At what point will you stop unconsciously making him a priority?

All of this, you supposed, is to say: Do you still love him?

You know that if you sit down and get to the root of it, you’ll find an answer you don’t like. Even in this moment, you want him to tell you just a fraction of the truth, because that would probably be enough to reel you back in.

Your own heart claws at your chest but this is how it has to be for a while. All you can do is take it one day at a time, gently nudge your heart in one direction like a child that needs to be goaded, until he doesn’t live on the forefront of your mind anymore.

Until someone else does.

“No, you’re not.” You stand up then, closing your notebook with more force than necessary. “If you’re really trying, then I wouldn’t still be wondering why I wasn’t enough to make you stay.”

Even then, you’re still hoping that he’d say something else. But when you’re only met with silence, the anticipated disappointment in you bubbles, boiling. His reluctance to clue you in makes it easier for you to decide.

There's someone else who's willing to give you things that you don't even need to ask for.

In your mind, it's clear who you should choose.

Jungkook clenches his teeth, holding his breath as he watches you shove your things into your bag. “Are you going home?” he asks after a minute.

You could say yes and let the conversation die a swift and simple death. But for some reason, you choose to kill it violently. You bite the inside of your cheek before you tell him, “I don’t know. Yoongi’s picking me up.”

The chagrinned look that takes over his features for a split second is one that you immediately catch. Maybe it’s because he wants to make sure you know how he feels about this, or maybe you still have a way of reading him somehow. Regardless of what his face tells you, he doesn’t prod any further.

Your phone vibrates on the table, the sound ten times more thunderous amidst the silence that’s befallen the both of you. You don’t need to check the screen to know who’s calling, and neither does he. When you leave, the sound of your fading footsteps ricochets off the walls. It shoots right through him.

He hears every word of that conversation ringing in his ears then. He recalls that afternoon’s sunset; it was the most beautiful sunset he saw that year, despite the sun overhead mocking him with every magnificent glint of light. He sees the look on your face when his words finally register in your mind, the Oh moment when you understood what he was saying, when the smile you wore sunk helplessly to the floor because even though you knew that love had an expiration date, you hoped your love would be the exception.

That memory fades, only to be replaced by something much worse. He sits there with Jimin’s words, echoing in his mind, reverberating around the room.

Technically, you and Yoongi haven’t been on a second date. You think.

You’ve seen him almost every night since the dinner, when he picks you up at the studio. Sometimes, you two just drive around. Sometimes, you sit by the river in the cold, eating hot ramen cups and giggling over nothing. Sometimes, he just takes you straight to your home if he has a packed schedule the next day.

These days, you see Yoongi even more than you see Taehyung. Even though he hasn’t explicitly implied that any of these outings is a date, you know you aren’t hanging out as just friends anymore.

It feels good to be wanted. The feeling is reinforced tenfold because it’s been so long that it’s like you’re experiencing it for the first time in a new body, as a different person.

But even after all of that, you two can still go back to being friends like nothing ever happened. Because in a way, maybe nothing did happen. Maybe things have always been like this between you, the only difference is now you’re noticing the meaning behind his words and glances.

You two can still go back, because technically, no line has been crossed.

But tonight, something feels different. It’s colder, but Yoongi keeps you warm with all the looks he’s been giving you all night.

It feels like you’re both toeing that line right now.

You know that once you cross it, things can’t revert back to the way they were anymore.

You know that it will happen eventually, because Yoongi isn’t doing this just to half-ass it. He won’t back out, and he has made it crystal clear from the start.

Usually, this is the part where he tells you goodnight and you have to pretend not to freak out when he kisses you on the cheek in goodbye.

He takes a step closer, you take no step back.

“You know what I’m about to do, right?”

You do. You could say you’re even hopeful.

“I might have an idea…”

“Okay,” he says easily. He takes your waist in his hands and brings you closer. The way the corner of his mouth tugs upward tells you that he’s pleased, that you know what’s about to come and you’re letting it happen. Still, he asks, “Can I?”

You nod. That glowing sensation washes over you in waves.

“Words, princess,” he reminds you.

Your hands land on the lapel of his coat. “Yes, you can.”

He chuckles, and squeezes you a little tighter.

Then it happens.

The line you clumsily drew in the sand has been erased.

Yoongi is kissing you.

You’re kissing him back.

He’s soft and warm and he holds you like you’re delicate. His sincerity, you can feel it in his kiss, and it’s only a fraction of it. Regardless, there is still life that blooms this winter. Inside of you, small and fragile, but it’s there.

You sigh into his mouth, feeling completely limbless if not for him holding your body upright. One of his arms wounds itself tighter around your middle while his other hand tucks your hair behind your ear so he could cup your cheek more easily. Yoongi tilts his head further to one side to deepen the kiss. You feel something in his kiss that you have never heard in his words, something soft and pleading. Wanting but still contained. Out of fear that you might run away, perhaps? You can’t blame him though. You are a bit of a flight risk.

The wind dances past like a nosy bystander, pressing you further into him like it wants you to be more sure in the way you move, in how much of yourself you’re willing to give to him. Instead, the cold just makes you shiver.

When you break away, his hand on your face moves to hold the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t look half as flushed as you think you do, though his cheeks are slightly rosy.

Through a thin veil of clouds, the moon still shines down on his profile.

The chill in the air, the mesmerizing view of moonlight dancing across his features, and most of all, the way you’re still lost in the kiss, in the feeling of being wanted.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you up,” he says, after you stay silent for a beat too long, hooded eyes basking in the warmth of a heart chasing your own. You want to want him. You do want him, but there’s still something missing. It doesn’t feel entirely right, but for now, you try not to dwell on it too much. Just let it be. Maybe in time, that void will inevitably fill.

Yoongi holds your hand through the lobby and on the whole way up even if neither of you says anything, just shy glances in the elevator and bashful half-hidden smiles. You don’t invite him in once you get to your door - because an invite now insinuates something that you just aren’t ready for - but he does kiss you again. If the kiss you shared downstairs is a proper goodnight kiss, then this one means see you later and doesn’t last half as long, but it makes you tingle just the same.

He pulls back, only to dive in again, and again, and again, until one chaste kiss turns into five and you have to push him away with a giggle so you can breathe.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, eyes still set on your mouth. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Yoongi,” you say, a little breathily, like oxygen hasn’t sufficiently made its way into your lungs since downstairs.

He rests his forehead against yours. “You’ve never said my name like that before,” he sighs.

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to kiss you again.”

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth and pretend to consider this even though you know you would like to be kissed again. “Maybe I do,” you say after a beat, bravely. “Just one more.”

He gives you your final kiss of the night then, one that lasts a second longer than the others, like he’s trying to memorize how you taste.

You head in once Yoongi is out of sight. You lean your body against the door the second you snap the lock shut. You touch your lips lightly, reliving those moments again even though they happened mere seconds ago. You’re buzzing with excitement like a schoolgirl, every feeling coursing through your body all at once.

You’re familiar with this. It’s the stage right before every love song you listen to suddenly reminds you of that one person.

You go through your regular evening routine with a pep in your step, thanks to a certain person tonight. You take off your carefully applied makeup and take a nice, hot shower. You think the heat would help melt away the high that you’re riding - like you’ve had too much coffee to drink and now your senses are beyond heightened - but it doesn’t. Once you’re fresh and comfortable in your PJs, you still feel that jittery feeling seeping through your pores, keeping you awake. There’s a message from Yoongi that tells you he has made it home safely.

It’s still early, and you’re far too restless to go to bed. You decided to brew yourself a mug of chamomile tea, even though you don’t even like chamomile and you can’t remember why you even have it, but they say that apparently chamomile is good for sleep. You decide to take the mug into the living room to sort through your mini mountain of mail that should’ve been dealt with days ago.

Sitting underneath that pile of junk mail and letters addressed to the previous tenant even though you’ve lived here for nearly two years, is a cream-colored card addressed to you. The material feels smooth under your fingertips, like velvet if that’s even possible. Inside, there are two names - one you recognize and another you don’t - typed out in a fancy calligraphy font and encircled by pretty flowers, all pinks and whites and romantic.

The saccharine sensation associated with the thought of Yoongi dissipates instantly. Instead, your mind blanks, only to buzz to life again momentarily with a newfound sinking feeling dragging you down.

You suddenly realize that Jungkook hasn’t crossed your mind once tonight. Not until now. That crestfallen look in his eyes from the other night appears in your mind again, clear as day.

You are, quite literally, holding someone’s declaration of love and yet, it’s not joy that you feel, having been asked to join them on their special day.

You never thought you would see Jungkook’s family again - even though you always adored his parents and you felt that they loved you too - let alone receive an invitation to his brother’s wedding.

remember when y'all said u wanted a wedding?? well u didn't say whose wedding 😌

700 notes · View notes

ssa-montgomery · 1 year

Text

Baby, I'm Preying On You Tonight, Hunt You Down Eat You Alive (Just Like Animals)

Word Count: 5590

Summary: Daryl has a darker primal side he's been hiding and Y/N is determined to draw it out, no matter what it takes.

Characters: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, lots of suspense, chasing, Daryl hunts the reader, predator/prey dynamic, primal kink, smut, angry Daryl, overstimulation, dom/sub, degradation kink, use of degrading terms (bitch, whore), punishments, dirty talk, hickeys, marking, biting, possessive kink, ownership kink, choking kink, rough sex, breeding kink, some cum play, begging, use of pet names (doll, girl), Daryl compares the reader to a little bunny, outdoor sex, forest sex

A/N: So uh, this might be some of the most unhinged smut I've written so far. I had this idea for a while and I was debating on whether or not I should write it and once I got the request @azanoni for a Daryl smut using these prompts I just knew I HAD to write it. I think this might be some of my favourite Daryl content I've written. I've had so much fun planning and writing this one (even if it took longer than expected) so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have!

Prompt(s): “Tell me what you're going to do to me.”

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

Masterlist

Growing up you were taught about the dangers of the woods that grew around your childhood home, poisonous plants and animals that had you scared of the smallest noises among the trees but since the fall of the world, that danger had increased tenfold. Anybody with the good sense to fear for their life was afraid of what they might find this deep into the trees, not just the threat of walkers but the threat of people that would stop at nothing to survive. It was a place that most actively avoided when they could but you, on the other hand, had always found a strange peace in nature, even the sides to it that should have scared you. Mother nature was a force to be reckoned with and you admired that.

You knew better really, knew the danger that came with being this far out by yourself and any other time you wouldn't have wandered off without one of the others by your side but the group was running low on supplies. The food situation was becoming scarce and while Rick and Maggie managed to round up some canned goods on their last scavenge it still wouldn't be enough to last long. Your people needed proper, fresh food and you knew you could hunt better alone without any distractions.

You were a skilled hunter, that much anyone could see. It came naturally to you the second you picked up a bow and Daryl spent days taking you hunting with him, training you well. The silence of being alone in the forest helped you focus your senses even more than usual, catching even the slightest movements of the animals around you. It was a strange feeling, listening to just how quiet the forest was now. The quiet seemed to surround you, weighing heavy in the trees around you as the space that had once been filled with the sounds of wildlife was now replaced by silence and the distant groans of the dead. It seemed the wildlife had taken just as much of a hit as the rest of the world. Things were changing and you knew it would never be the same again.

You were careful to avoid the overgrown roots that littered the forest floor, stepping over them as you pressed forward, following the trail of a stag you'd spotted a few miles back. You'd watched in awe of the creature for a moment but before you could get close enough to make a clear shot, it took off into the trees. Daryl had given you a crash course in tracking and the knowledge proved useful as you picked up the tracks in the mud, following them deeper into the forest. If you could bag a kill like this, you could feed the group for days.

You weren't sure just how long you'd been out here anymore. The sun had barely risen when you, nothing more than a faint orange glow in the distance but now the light was filtering through the leaves above your head, bathing you in the warm feeling. You were soft with your steps treading lightly across the forest floor as you used the toe of your boot to brush the twigs in front of you out of the way, trying to avoid making any noise, not wanting them to snap underfoot.

Something in the corner of your eye caught your attention, another indent in the mud but it was smaller this time. A separate track from the one you'd been following. Perhaps it was a younger deer, a doe that had joined your stag somewhere along the way. You tried to get a closer look at the print, stooping down behind the wide trunk of the tree as you judged just how fresh it was.

When you were on these hunts, finding yourself in the situation of stalking an animal in this way there was a certain feeling you'd grown used to. It was a dynamic balance, the feeling of power between man and nature, the hunter and the hunted. Predator and prey. The baseline animal instincts that exist inside everyone.

There was a sense of power you held as the hunter, a confidence that drove you forward but you could quickly feel that draining from your body, instead being replaced by a growing sense of fear. You weren't as alone out here as you thought. You were no longer the predator of this situation. You were the prey. There was somebody, something watching you and you could feel the goosebumps pricking under your skin, your hairs standing on end as a deep feeling you couldn't place settled in your bones.

You couldn't have been sure at the time but you thought you'd heard it just a few minutes before, chalking the slight rustling up to walkers but this wasn't something undead. No, these were too sure, too purposeful, these were footsteps. Real living, human footsteps. The sound was heavy against the soil, a man's footsteps, that much was easy to tell. You could tell whoever this was was trying to cover the noise. They were hiding, stalking you from somewhere among the trees. You glanced around, scanning the tree line as you pretended to search for your deer, not wanting to give away that you were aware they were there.

Something changed in the air around you. A tension thick enough to cut settled around you while your heart started to race, beating against your ribs. You'd been spotted and you knew they could sense the fear that followed. Your movements were deliberate now, trying not to make any sudden movements as you slowly raised from your hunched-over position, trying to steady your rapid breathing. As you moved to step forward there was a louder noise behind you, a twig snapping closer to you than you were comfortable with. They weren't disguising their footsteps anymore and you knew what that meant for you.

That feeling in your bones, there was only one way you could describe it. It was the same primal feeling you saw in the eyes of trapped animals and you knew there were only two baseline instincts for a cornered animal. Fight or flight. You chose the latter. Within a second you were in motion, breaking out into a sprint faster than you could think. You had no idea where exactly you were running to, you didn't have time to plan that far ahead and you'd taken off in the wrong direction to make it back to the group at camp. All you knew was that you needed to get out of there.

Everything in your body was screaming at you to stop as you forced yourself to keep going, you could feel yourself growing weaker with every step, your legs already aching from being on your feet all day. You couldn't stop running now, you knew that much. You were barely aware of anything outside of yourself anymore, your senses overwhelmed by the sound of your heart hammering in your ears drowning out the sound of how close your hunter was getting. The wind whipped almost painfully against the skin of your face but the only feeling you could focus on was that of being chased. Hunted down through the trees.

You raised an arm to cover your face as you ran, shielding yourself from the low-hanging branches that would otherwise catch your face as you kept going. You proved too focused on the branches in front of you as you stopped paying attention to anything else around you, instead managing to catch your foot on the root of a tree that was emerging from the ground. By some miracle, you didn't fall. You managed to reach out and steady yourself on the tree next to you as you kept running trying to push yourself forward but the stumble was enough to slow you down. It was enough for him to catch up.

A scream of protest ripped from your throat when you were suddenly tugged backwards, two strong, rough hands grabbing at your upper arms. You tried to surge forward, hoping to break free of his grasp but instead, he manoeuvred you around however he wanted, dragging you by your arms as he pushed your chest against the trunk of the closest tree. You could feel the panic flooding your veins as you struggled against his grip but there was no use. He overpowered you in every way, the solid wall of his chest pressing against your back as he forced you further against the tree, leaning in until you felt his hot breath fan against your neck.

"Stop strugglin', fuckin' brat. His words were dripping with venom, nothing more than a low growl in your ear as his hands left your arms instead dropping to your waist in an attempt to stop you from trying to wriggle out of his grasp. Your muscles tensed at the feeling of his fingers biting into the soft skin of your waist, your mind racing with thoughts you knew you shouldn't be having in this situation. At first, you weren't sure if the feeling bubbling up in your chest was relief or burning rage as finally placed the voice. You'd recognise that rich southern drawl anywhere.

"Daryl? Oh, you fuckin' bastard." You let out a heavy sigh as your body relaxed in his grasp realising you weren't in immediate danger. You tried to aim another dig at his ribs for the scare he'd given you but he easily blocked you, catching your arm and pinning it above your head. The fear in your body melted away the second you heard his voice but there was something else rising up in its place. A different kind of fear, an anticipation for just how he'd choose to handle this situation. It was a feeling that had you wriggling your hips against him with no intention of breaking loose. "I thought you were some creep out here waitin' to kill me or somethin'."

"I damn well coulda been. Stupid fuckin' girl." Daryl growled out, his voice low as his lips practically ghosted the shell of your ear, his grip on your waist tightening. His grip wasn't trying to hold you in place anymore, the treat of you running having long since passed. In reality, if he let go of you now you'd stay perfectly still just to keep him happy, no his grip now was solely possessive. Holding you close to him and hiding you away from anything out there that might want to hurt you. "I mean what were ya thinkin'? Runnin' off like that without tellin' me? Were ya even fuckin' thinkin'? Y'know how dangerous it is out 'ere, ya tryin' to get yerself killed?"

"I left you a message before I left." You said, your voice dropping in volume with disappointment as you feigned innocence when in reality you knew what you were doing every step of the way since you first left that morning. You wouldn't have come out this far if you didn't know Daryl would follow you, if you hadn't been counting on it. All of this was a game, admittedly a risky one at that and one that you weren't sure Daryl would play along with at first. The fact that he was here, pressing you against the tree with a growing hard-on in his pants proved he was more than willing to play along.

"Right. Yer message. Call that a message do ya? Gettin' Rick to tell me y'went out hours after ya were already gone? What was it ya said? He's a good tracker, tell him to find me if he wants me. Think yer clever do ya?" He bit back the anger rising in his voice as he forced you further against the tree, pinning you there with his hips. One hand found its way into your hair, wrapping the strands around his hand into a makeshift ponytail before pulling your head back, forcing you to meet his eyes.

"I'm - I'm sorry Daryl I didn't mean to -" You stumbled over your words trying to find the right excuse to calm him but you knew it was useless as you met the wild look in Daryl's eyes. It wasn't unusual to see him angry but this look was unlike anything you'd ever seen from him. Anger and genuine concern for your safety mixed with an almost feral nature that seemed to darken his eyes as his pupils dilated. It was mesmerising.

"Nah. Ya knew what you was doin'. Is this what y'wanted? Wanted me to hunt ya down through the woods? Chase ya down and catch ya like some kind of prey? Have my way with ya? Ya wanted to be afraid?" His voice was taunting in a way that should have almost scared you but he was right, this was exactly what you'd wanted. Ever since you'd met you knew there was a side he hid, you could see it in his eyes when he fought with the others in the group, could feel him holding back every time he touched you.

You wanted him to let go, to release that animalistic side that you watched him try so hard to fight, his true hidden nature. He was right, you did want to be afraid. In fact, the feeling turned you on beyond belief. You wanted him to take control of you, to earn your submission entirely until you had no choice but to melt into a mess in his hands. "I should show ya what happens to brats that piss me off."

"Tell me what you're going to do to me." Your words were breathy, barely above a whisper, coming out as more of a pleading beg than the original demand you'd intended. He was already getting under your skin, making you cave under his intense gaze as your eyes flickered to the forest floor when you could no longer take his stare. His hands were roaming your body now, groping at every part of you that he could reach. Squeezing at your hips, running up your back before gliding over your ribs.

"I'm gonna give ya what ya wanted. I could practically smell how badly ya wanted me for miles. Y'wanted me to let loose and fuck ya like some kind of feral animal so that's exactly what I'll give ya." He dropped his head to your shoulder, breathing in deeply as he took in your scent. The smell of pine mixed with the faint smell of the shampoo you'd managed to find a few days ago, but it was the natural scent of your skin that drove him crazy.

Daryl's hands snaked around your waist to undo the button of your jeans not even bothering with the fly as he left you with no time to process his words, shoving his hand past the waistband of your panties. You couldn't help the whimper that escaped you at the feeling of his fingers moving roughly over your clit, the sudden feeling almost too much for you. He wasted no time, not in the mood for gentle foreplay as he moved his fingers downwards resting them over your entrance just enough to have you wriggling in his grip for more but not enough to press inside you. He let out a low groan that you could feel vibrate in his chest when he felt how wet you were already, gathering as much of it on his fingers as he could while it smeared over the palm of his hand.

"Look at ya. Already drippin' down yer thighs for me. Fuckin' soaked. Ya like it huh? Like makin' me angry so I'll use ya however I want? Get off of me throwin' ya 'round like it's nuthin' and pinin' ya down?" You were starting to lose it already, still reeling from the feeling of his fingers against your clit you couldn't find the words to answer him. He ground his hips into your ass as he waited for you to admit it. Clearly not happy with your lack of response he brought his free hand up and wrapped it around your throat, using it as leverage to quickly spin you around in his grasp before slamming you back against the tree. "Answer me, girl."

"Y- yes Daryl. I love it. Please I want you to use me. I need it. I can take it. I promise." Your voice sounded desperate even to your own ears as you pleaded with him to give you what you wanted. Seemingly pleased with your answer he tightened his grip on the sides of your throat, forcing a gasp from your lips at the pressure. He took the opportunity the second your lips parted in and shoved his fingers that were still covered in your slick into your mouth. You knew what he wanted immediately as you felt him press down on your tongue, closing your lips around his fingers as you sucked them clean.

"That's it." He hummed tilting your face up with his free hand, forcing you to meet his stare as you struggled not to gag while he slid his fingers further back into your mouth. He thought about forcing you to your knees there and then, using your mouth until he was finished as punishment but who was he to deny you when you begged so pretty? Nobody could break you down as quickly as Daryl, ever since your first time together he had a natural talent for finding that switch in your brain - or he'd argue more accurately in your pussy - that turned you into a drooling submissive mess for him. Not that you were complaining about it one little bit. No matter how much he lost control you knew you were safe in his hands, but right now, you wanted that feeling of danger. "Y'gonna beg me for it like some needy stupid bitch in heat? Need to fucked and bred 'til ya can't think no more?"

"God Daryl, please. I can't - I can't take anymore. I need you inside me." You moaned as you grasped at the shoulders of his worn-down leather vest, trying to feel him closer in any way you could. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, starting to leave hot, messy, kisses there before he sunk his teeth into your skin. You cried out at the sharp feeling, clawing at his back through the fabric of his clothes as his tongue lapped over the area, roughly sucking just to be sure it would leave a noticeable mark. A claim for anyone else who might be stupid enough to look at you to see.

"Y'had so much fight in ya when I was chasin' ya. I had fun huntin' ya like some lil' bunny. Look at y'now. Pathetic." He spat, dropping his hand to toy with the button of your jeans before finally undoing the fly to let it hang open. You could see the smirk ghosting his lips as his eyes darkened before he started to speak again. You could practically see the plan forming in his head. "Since y'want me to fuck ya so badly maybe I should just leave ya out 'ere for bein' such a fuckin' brat before. Let ya find some other way to entertain yerself. Only good girls deserve to be bred."

"No, no, no - wait! You cried out clinging onto his shirt as he pulled back slightly, threatening to step away from you completely. If he walked away from you now without giving you what you wanted you might have actually collapsed to the ground and cried from the frustration. He was getting on this, the teasing, the making you beg, the wide-eyed desperate look you gave him, that much was obvious from the growing bulge in his pants. "I'm sorry - I'm sorry I just wanted to have some fun. I promise I'll be good now just stay please."

"Y'wanted fun huh?" He said grasping your jaw as he stepped closer, his face so close to yours now that his lips brushed yours as he spoke. He wouldn't kiss you, not now, it almost felt too intimate for his anger at this moment. No, he just wanted to tease you instead as you chased his lips. It was intoxicating, the heat of his breath against your skin and the faintest scent of cigarettes that always seemed to follow him. "Yer idea of fun involves annoyin' the shit outta me huh?"

You could feel your cheeks heating, painting your skin red under his intense stare and harsh words. Admittedly you did find simple joy in winding Daryl up at any chance you got. You knew you hadn't really upset him with the stunt you'd pulled today. If you had he would have dragged you back to camp the second he'd caught up to you and screamed at you until every walker in the state heard him. No, this anger, the biting words that made you crumble, this was his game. This was his teasing.

"Yer gonna take what I give ya and I don't wanna hear ya bitchin' 'bout it. Ya asked for this. Begged me actually." He warned, his voice low and dark as he dug his fingers into the side of your panties. In one swift moment, he had both your jeans and panties pulled down just past your knees, forcefully kicking your feet apart to give him the access he needed. "Do y'understand me?"

"Y-yes." You whimpered out, trying your best to angle your hips towards him needing anything you could get but he wasn't giving you anything until he decided you deserved it. He couldn't hold himself back much longer, something inside him snapping at the sight of you in front of him. With his hands now gone from your body you were using the tree behind you to support your already weak knees, your eyes screwed shut with your head resting against the bark of the tree while you waited for him to make his move, your legs spread apart for him with your clothes still hanging below your knees. The sight was vulgar and it made his cock twitch in his pants.

"Look at that pretty lil' pussy, beggin' me to fuck ya 'til ya can't take it anymore." His hands were on his belt in a second, fumbling over himself as he finally gave into just how badly he needed this too. There was a desperate need to be inside of you clawing at his chest in a way he'd never felt before. This wasn't exactly the setting for getting entirely undressed, the risk of danger or having to run out here was far too high. Instead, he shoved his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock, his belt still hanging loosely around his waist. "Gonna make ya scream for it s'good they'll hear ya back at camp. Let 'em all know what a fuckin' cock drunk whore y'are for me."

"Daryl fuckin' hell I -" Your words trailed off into a high-pitched whine as he gave in to his overwhelming need to fuck you with no warning and no time to process, shoving his cock inside you and bottoming out with one swift, rough thrust. You brought your hands up and dug your nails into his shoulders feeling your muscles spasming around him, the sudden feeling of being so full boarding on almost painful as you adjusted to his size. "Fuck -"

He didn't stop to let your body adjust like he usually would, there was nothing gentle about this. Instead, he pulled out until he was just barely inside you and then thrust back into you even rougher than before. He was setting a brutal pace that from the burn you could already feel you were sure would hurt in the morning, leaving you with a limp and bruises where his fingers grasped at your waist but you couldn't bring yourself to care. This is what you'd wanted. You wanted it rough, you wanted it to hurt and to wear the reminder of what he had done to you for days after.

The pace he was setting was cruel, his hips snapping against yours in a way that already had you gasping for breath as if he was actually fucking the air from your lungs. His hands grasped at the hem of your shirt, not bothering to pull it over your head but instead tugging it up your chest enough to expose your breasts to his wandering hands and greedy eyes. He groped at your breasts rolling his palms over your nipples as he thrust into you. The feeling had you arching your back further into his touch, pulling your shirt up to catch it between your teeth to give him full access.

"Yer tits look fuckin' perfect for me. Pretty lil' view while I fuck ya, practically beggin' for my mouth 'round them. Want me suckin' on your tits while I breed ya huh?" You could almost hear his accent thickening with each word, that rasp taking over as he control of his words giving in and saying whatever came to his mind. His eyes were glued to your chest watching the way your breasts bounced with every thrust he made that forced you upwards. He didn't wait for a response from you, needing the feeling of your skin under his mouth which earned him a moan as he dropped his mouth to catch a nipple between his teeth.

The slight pain of his teeth dragging across your sensitive skin was drowned out by the pure pleasure coursing through your veins with every thrust of his hips and the feeling of his hand kneading at your other breast. His free hand found its way to the back of your thigh, groaning at the feeling of your soft skin between his fingers as he grasped at you, pulling your leg around his waist. He pulled it as high as he could with the restricting fabric of your clothes still hanging around your legs and the sudden change in angle had him hitting your g-spot on every thrust.

There was something completely animalistic about the noise he made as he pushed even deeper inside of you, something caught between a growl and a deep moan. You couldn't help your body's response when he got like this, the cry that crept up your throat as he gave into every, rough and wild thought he'd ever had about you. You tried to lift your hips, wanting to meet him thrust for thrust as the way his pubic bone ground against your clit drove you insane but it was all too much. His movements were too fast for you to match. You gave in, switching off your brain as you gave every ounce of power over to his demanding hands, falling limp against him while his nails bit into your skin where he grasped and groped at you.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck once more, the smell of sex on your skin taking over his mind as his lips ghosted over the red mark on your neck that was already turning to shades of yellow and purple. You could feel every heavy pant and growl that he couldn't control against your heated skin, the sounds rumbling through your chest where he was pressed against you. He turned his attention back to your neck covering you in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. All teeth and tongue. It was like he couldn't focus enough to kiss you properly anymore, his mind so clouded by lust he was only able to give into that primal urge to feel. His lips moved against your skin, sucking roughly until he was sure you'd be covered in marks across your neck and shoulder. His marks. He pulled away watching with heavy eyes as the bruises started to form over your skin, your neck and his lips still coated with spit.

"Look at ya. All marked up for me. Y'like wearin' my fuckin' bite mark like a brand? Wanna show everyone who owns ya? Show 'em who fucked this pussy s'good ya let me claim ya? Too fucked out to even argue now aren't ya? Takin' my dick like a good lil' bitch." His words were a possessive growl now, barely even still audible. You weren't even sure if he was still talking to you directly or if he was simply giving into the urge to voice that you were his and nobody else's.

Not that he had to remind you who you belonged to. There had never been a single doubt in your mind about that from the minute you met him. No one else could bring you to this kind of high, could dominate you in every way you needed like he could. That man controlled every single one of your waking thoughts and you'd never hesitate to give him anything and everything he ever wanted. You were completely and utterly, his. You wouldn't have it any other way.

Daryl adjusted your weight in his arms as you felt him getting closer, his grip faltering as he struggled to keep his mind focused on keeping you both standing. Part of him thought about just dropping you to the ground, fucking you against the dirt. You could feel the bark of the tree digging into the skin of your back as he lifted you and you were sure you would have small scratched after it but as long as he kept doing what he was you couldn't bring yourself to care. The only thought left in your mind was your impending orgasm. You could feel it building, every nerve in your body lighting up, sensitive to any touch as that tension in your stomach built higher and higher. You felt Daryl's cock twitch inside you in response to a particularly high-pitched moan and you knew he wasn't far behind you.

"Daryl -" You gasped out trying to find the words to warn him of just how close you were getting but he was losing himself in the feeling, his rhyme faltering as his thrusts started to come faster and faster, more uncontrolled. His face nuzzled at your neck as his thrusts only seemed to grow rougher, taking you for everything you had. "Daryl I'm - ah fuck - I'm so close -"

"C'mon then, take what y'want Doll. Know how badly ya want it. Wanna feel ya cummin' on dick, let me feel that pussy squeezin' me 'til I cum in ya. Y'want that? Want my cum drippin' from ya when I'm done with ya? Let me use ya 'til I'm all spent huh? Imma ruin ya for anyone else. This pussy's all mine." You couldn't hold yourself back anymore at his words, screaming out his name until your voice was hoarse as the tension finally snapped. You were sure you drew the attention of anyone and anything for miles as your screams of his name echoed through the woods but you couldn't bring yourself to care, not with the feeling that was flooding your body. You clung to him as if your life depended on it, your arms wrapped around his neck as you buried your face in his chest when you couldn't take it anymore. He fucked you through your orgasm never once letting up his thrusts.

You ripped a moan from his throat as you clenched around his cock, your body still spasming from the force of your orgasm as you struggled to tell where it ended. He was following you down and you could tell from the harsh rise and fall of his chest as he used his full body to pin you up. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, his pelvis grinding against your clit sending you into overstimulation that had you whimpering as you weakly pawed at his chest trying to escape the feeling. With one final sharp thrust, he pushed himself as deep inside you as he could, brushing your cervix as his fingers flexed against your hips, holding onto you with everything he had.

"Fuckin' perfect tight pussy. God y'feel s'good takin' everything I have. S'pretty all fun and drippin' for me. Takin' all my cum." He panted out this voice breaking as you felt him twitch, finally spilling inside of you. He held himself there for a minute basking in the feeling of your body still slowly coming down around him while he held his cum inside you. He stepped back when he felt himself start to soften and took in the sight between your legs. His cum dripped down your already-soaked thighs and he brought his hand down, pushing his fingers through the mix of both of you before sliding them inside of you again. The feeling of him pushing past your already sensitive folds making you whimper. "Gone and made a fuckin' mess now look at ya. Complete fuckin' wreck."

"Just - just felt so good." You whimpered your eyes falling closed as your head tipped back, hiding the three behind you with a soft thud. You couldn't find the energy in you to move, completely spent and exhausted as you fought just to keep your legs steady underneath you as your knees threatened to give out entirely. You felt Daryl move towards you, carefully pulling your underwear and pants back up your legs before sliding an arm around your waist.

"Think y'can walk or do y'want me to carry ya?"

Taglist: @azanoni @ineedmorefanfics2 @natnoble4 @gutssoverrfearr @ivuravix @spookyspiderseb

#aoife writes fanfiction #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fic #the walking dead smut #daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fic #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n

767 notes · View notes

jade-len · 3 months

Text

okaaaayy, so, i saw a post that i think was sort of targeted towards one of my posts talking about how "lbh was better than me bc i too would've gone bat shit insane"

"I've seen a post saying that that they understand LBH going bat-shit crazy because one guy (Shen Jiu) rejected him, and that they would've done the same."

and i would just like to say that i am in no way justifying bingge or bingmei's actions, and i think i made it pretty clear that i knew how fucked and unhinged lbh was ahaha..? though it's not just because one guy rejected him, but because of the terrible side dishes, nasty after taste, and tragedy galore!

all i was rlly doing was putting myself in lbh's shoes. in my post, i was saying how if i was thoroughly bullied and alone throughout my whole life and then was randomly taken cared of by someone and proceeded to fall completely in love with them, and then out of nowhere they turned a complete 180 and pretty much told me to fuck myself bc of my race and pushed me down into literal hell, i think i would've gone crazy! absolutely bonkers. then that person kept running away from me when i'm just trying to talk to them? i don't know how my mental health would be able to take that! the post was more placed in a joke-y manner, but i do think that i would've done the same if that was my situation. is that okay? hell to the fucking no, i'd be horrified of myself if i were to see me doing that no matter the reason. the same goes for the og, the pidw binghe's situation

and really, the same goes for sj as well. if throughout my whole life i was on the streets and then a slave and beaten etc... shit, i probably would've turned out just like him. it doesn't make it right, and i'm not justifying it, but i'm placing myself in the characters' shoes and understanding how they came to be such a way

so, i was pretty much saying that i understood luo binghe, though in no way did i mean to excuse his actions. but i understand that it sounded like i was justifying it, so i can 100% see that now looking back which i am completely at fault for. and, i for one also dislike it when people try to downplay luo binghe's actions or justify what he did

"by your logic, can we excuse serial killers going on a rampage because the person they liked refused them?" no, absolutely not. and no, i wouldn't be okay with a crazy bastard taking it out on someone i cherish for a stupid reason. i wouldn't be okay with someone taking it out on anyone for any reason. there is a line between reality and fiction that i do not cross, and even in fiction i can very thoroughly recognize the fucked up side of my favorite characters

lbh's fucked and definitely a little more than unhinged, and i don't truly think that he's a completely good or even bad person, but i do appreciate that (at least, to me) he seems to try to become a better one after all of that at the end of the series and recognizes that he can't own sqq

and, hey, sj is one of my favorite characters! i enjoy how mxtx made the svsss characters be fucked in some degree. like how lqg thinks just beating up his disciples is a valid teaching method. i enjoy stories with characters who aren't necessarily "good" or "bad" only. moral ambiguity with characters is so interesting!

i really don't think that we should be putting lbh stans and sj stans against each other because, well, there will always be people on both sides who justify the characters' actions. it's not just one side is doing this and the other side isn't doing that, ykwim? and this isn't even just about lbh and sj when we think about it, it's how some people perceive characters who are morally questionable and don't truly look at all sides of the character! the bad, the good, and the ugly

i love sj and lbh, i love my characters with ambiguous morals, and i love that i can put myself in their shoes and see where they're coming from/why they're the way they are no matter how delightfully screwed it is. especially bingge, he's a deliciously tragic and horrible person

so, if i were to believe that lbh's (or tbh any svsss's characters') actions were okay and justified, and also proceeded to believe so if it took place in real life, then there "might" just be something wrong with me

#this is not meant to attack the other poster! i just wanted to explain myself and give some thoughts #sorry if this post was a little messy lol #hey if it wasnt targeted towards me then im sorry about that but i think this still stands #also i think the difference between lqg and sj's teaching is that sj went out of his way to directly target lbh #like providing him a fake manual etc #not justifying lqg btw but that provides a reason why people dont give lqg a lot of shit #like yes he does actively also go out of his way to beat up his disciples though sj just wanted to sabotage lbh for a reason-#-us fans don't know!#this is all so silly #svsss #mxtx svsss #svsss meta #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #liu qingge

39 notes · View notes

ctheathy · 1 year

Note

Hi I love your story and I read your secret histories story and I love it, I wanna ask if your not busy how about a yandere secret history tails x reader where she is a kind and sweet person who never judge someone by their appearance and she dotes and pampers him a lot

Yandere Secret History Tails w/ sweetheart!Darling

Secret History Tails x Reader

Yandere Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note : Why hello, Nonnie!! Of course you may, my darling, hope you’ll be able to enjoy<3<3 My apologies for slight inactiveness, I assure each and every one of you that more headcanons of our lil ol’ psycho and other characters are also coming up; things have just been a teensy tiny bit busy for me lately, but I do try keeping up with the requests. Don’t want to let yall down💞

Quick note that I do not write for gendered Readers much though!! Accidents can happen when requesting, and I promise I am not upset, but just so everyone understands that gender is not something I’m going after.

Due to the request describing identical characteristics for the Reader as the one in my A Once Innocent Act of Tenderness fic and no specified choice of content was asked for, headcanons with that particular darling were chosen =} Just see it as a minor backup continuation of the story.

A Once Innocent Act of Tenderness ➷

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Delusional mindsets • Obsessive + Possessive behaviour • Murder + Torture mention • Forced relationship • Co-dependency • Kidnapping • Worship • Psychological abu$3 • Brainwashing trauma [On Tails’ part] • Tails may as well get his own TW tbh

Outwardly there doesn’t seem to be all too big of a difference between yandere Secret History Tails and his neutral version. They’re both still very much sociopathic, show clear signs of unhinged behaviour and may get obsessive streaks from time to time, are manipulators at heart, can remain atleast somewhat delusional about both of your relationship with one another and they too view you as something much more above than any other mobian that might have their ways in their pathetic unworth of a universe. And although he normally could have recovered from this mindset slowly with the help by his side, his full on yandere form however, does not. And all honestly speaking, it wouldn’t even be likely to occur in the first place without a specific darling that is kind and has been there from the very beginning; when his trauma of brainwash has developed into something else ...and certainly not something in a positive light. It’s safe to say that this version of his may even be more disturbed than the sanity of his usual self, and that information alone is enough to bring in that you’re going to be stuck on quite the bumpy ride.

While his usual worshipping behaviour would hold nothing malicious behind it, this case is a little more ... interestingly different to say the least. Unlike his casual form who most easily said puts you in the place which was originally meant to be taken by Sonic after you’ve came along and properly earned it; this state of his and his already existing delusions have caused him to literally believe you to be his own personal guardian angel, being there for him in order to protect him from all the wrongs, misery and injustice in this existence. Unlike usual, at an early point he knows that the “real” Sonic of his dimension doesn’t want him, just letting the hedgehog take advantage of his seemingly non-lucid state and torment him to no end; causing him to both grow incredibly touch starved for any kind of gentle offering and worsening his already unstable mindset. And the one simple change that makes all the difference between the two is how he’d normally find himself giving in over time torwards your doting nature with him in particular, while this version of his had already emotionally snapped before he even got the chance to do so. Now the only motivations being left to linger in the back of his mind being the one entity that’s been sweet to him right from the start, and the desperate desire to just take them in as his own--His property. The others have been able to keep you and your dearing behaviour all to themselves for far too long by now, it’s only fair.

As information that’s been given before, a darling like this has him fairly taken aback, the sweet demeanour being, quite sadly said, totally foreign to him. On one hand he wants to give in, wants to achieve the gentleness that’s right on the end of the line and so easily accessible, the desires for the consideration and care becoming close to unbearable to him; but right at the same time, he feels suspicious torwards the close to angelic aura around them, feeling as if it’s nothing more and nothing less than some mere act. This distrust being caused by the harassment he’s got back when he wasn’t even in this position as Sonic’s best friend, despite the lack of memory from it. You’re too sweet for your own good, too perfect; of course it couldn’t be genuine. Another thing potentially stalling him is the fact how Sega has quite literally made him believe how his existence is meant to be surrounded by Sonic, it becoming closer to convincing him farther how it holds absolutely zero meaning without the blue hedgehog being in the picture. But even despite these thoughts of protest, the fox can only take so much. there’s gonna be some point where he cannot suppress these feelings anymore.

Even though his usual self is no exception to causing deaths of those that just so happened to cause immense discomfort or pain to you; another thing that can be written off as a big change is that he’s a whole lot more violent torwards any potential rivals, quite literally going off for torture right off the bat, unlike his casual self who just wishes to get the job done with by blowing the said mobian into hundreds of little bits by his excellent yet dangerous explosives. His yandere form however ... Is absolutely not comparable; his actions now being much more similar to how he treated his victims at the end of secret histories. The two-tailed fox absolutely has zero restraints over himself and is often completely out of control when doing so, the blood of his nemesis covering the floor and walls and psychopathic laughter filling the air. Another important aim being how unlike he would have behaved with Sonic’s case, he would be a whole lot more secretive about the entire murder thing around you. He wouldn’t want to upset his precious and divine admirer now, would he? You’d slowly notice those around you starting to disappear into thin air, each and every acquaintance vanishing only to never see the light of day ever again.

Something else I could picture is that he specifically holds immense grudges against any other Tails counterparts of his, going as far to just take care of the little issue almost immediately after notice. Despite being the filthy imposters they are, he’ll likely feel as if their chances with you rival his own, knowing just as well that they’re close to identical in appearance and intelligence. And if anything, he likely feels the most threatened by them, knowing they could all charm and lure you in all the same way you were captivated by him to begin with.

As for his behaviour torwards his darling after legitimately cracking and taking them in out of said ‘‘protection”, it could mostly be written down as both having a rather clingy and worshipping attitude, yet surprisingly distant right at the same time; not wanting to scare them off. You’re not going anywhere, he knows that much, but having them dreadfully fear him to no avail in improvement over time would absolutely crumble the fox to pieces. He absolutely doesn’t mean any kind of harm torwards his darling, to the point of quite literally not daring to lay a finger on them; but if it wasn’t already obvious before, he has clear limits to his patience. Although not directed torwards them, he can be found growing aggressive due to the lack of emotional touch and is often one to take it out on the unfortunate bystanders nearby, gifting you their still beating hearts as his own little way to show his graciousness torwards you, not realising in the slightest how terrified it truly makes them.

Don’t get me wrong, he adores you with your entire being, he really does; but he has never learned to express them the right way. And I cannot really help but see him as a whole lot more repulsive and abominable as a yandere due to one particular reason. The core of his delusions stop him from thinking properly while it causes refusal torwards the evidence literally laying in front of him; being blinded by unrealistic beliefs and inflicting them onto his poor darling in a sense of purification, all while holding them hostage in a cold and dusted basement. He’d also be a whole lot less obedient to what his darling has to say, feeling as if he’s protecting them despite their protests. You’re silly, of course your naiveness wouldn’t let you catch up with all the potential threats--those rubbish imposters just wandering around you throughout the day. And although the confidence in his beliefs has caused them to become close to being the actual truth in his own unhinged headspace,

that hasn’t stopped him from psychologically harming his darling over and over again.

#secret history tails #yandere secret history tails #mashed tails #sh tails #secret history tails x reader #yandere tails x reader #tails x reader #yandere tails #yandere sonic the hedgehog #sonic x reader

142 notes · View notes