#'i'll tell him i fucked his dad and his mom and the doctor too. to his face. i don't care.'
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baby blues |carmen berzatto x reader|
prompt: two blue lines change all your plans, and carmen doesn't take it well. or how you tell carmen you're pregnant.
read the entire dad!carmen berzatto masterlist here!
contains: language, pregnancy, angst, carmen's an asshole, alludes to past parent trauma, hurt/comfort.
"Shit."
The hiss of your tone bounced off the green tiles of your bathroom, an eerie echo that rang dully through your mind. A reminder that this was all too real, happening right now in front of you- to you.
After weeks of what you thought was a stomach bug- retching at almost anything, exhaustion, aches- you had come to realize it might not just be a virus when you looked at the unopened box of tampons under the sink.
You were late.
A frantic trip to Walgreens, an hour of avoidance out of pure fear, three glasses of water, and two tests later; you were here. Looking at the two mocking blue lines on both tests. You were pregnant.
You called your best friend, Alicia, unsure of who else to confide in. Scared, emotional, overwhelmed, you sobbed into the phone, hand holding your head on the edge of the bed. "Carmen is gonna lose his shit."
"Carmen is not gonna lose his shit." Alicia soothed over your heaving gasps. "He will be fine. You both will be fine. You're married. What's the issue?"
You shook your head, swiping your thumb under your eyes. "You don't... Carmen and I haven't, like, ever really talked about kids." You muttered. It was mostly true. You hadn't really, other than euphoric pillow talk ramblings where you both were just bubbly with love, spilling shared wishes under sheets.
"I thought you said you wanted kids?"
"Yeah, but not now." You sobbed into the phone. "I don't... I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm not gonna be good at that. I don't-I don't know anything about kids! And-And I can barely cook, and- Alicia, I couldn't keep our cactus alive! I killed our fucking cactus, and you think I'm ready for a kid?"
Alicia laughed lightly on the other end. "Ok, true, but you won't kill your kid. You'll be much more attached to it than the cactus." She countered easily, calmly. "And you'll be a good mom, babe. I know you'll be. And Carmen knows too. You know he does. Call your OBGYN and get an appointment. Make sure this is legit and get your vitamins and let me know what you need from me."
Two days later, you were laid on the cool paper at the doctor's office, eyes wide watching her drag the wand over your tummy. Seven weeks. The ultrasound clutched in your hand had an arrow where the baby was, it was still so small. A blip, a splotch right on your plans.
You decided to tell Carmen that night. He knew something was off with you, starting to get more and more suspicious. It was only a matter of time.
"Hey, baby." You grinned as excited as you could when he came home.
"Hey," Carmen chirped, grinning back at you when you kissed him sweetly, a little longer than usual, not that he minded. "How are you doin', baby? Good day?"
"Yeah, it was." You quipped, throat tightening, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I, uh, I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" Carmen's brows lifted, dropping his bag by the door. "What kinda surprise, huh? Somethin' under this?" He teased, hand sliding up your shorts, palming at your ass and making you squirm.
You couldn't help the fleeting thought that he wouldn't be able to do that for long. Not when a baby was in the house. Your throat burned with tears at the thought.
"No." You shook your head. "Just... Here, sit right here for me and I'll be right back." You kissed his cheek sweetly, running to the spare bedroom for the ultrasound. You wondered if this would be the baby's nursery. Or maybe upstairs in the makeshift workout room Carmen used. It felt odd planning this type of thing, thinking about this.
Your hands were sweaty, trying not to wrinkle the printed photo. It was your first after all. The first picture of many. Ones you secretly hoped would line the walls of your house. Pictures of the baby, with you and Carmen.
You hoped Carmen would be in them.
That horrid thought always made it's way back into your mind, rattling you to your core.
"Close your eyes." You tried to sing-song, playful and light like you usually would. The kind of tone that was silly, left Carmen grinning and doing what you said. Instead, it sounded tired.
Carmen still covered his eyes anyways. You took a soft breath, placing the photo in front of him. "Ok, y-you can open." You whispered.
Carmen's brow lifted, looking at you carefully before down at the table. He stilled, face unmoving, body halted, eyes zoned in on the ultrasound.
"Wh-What-What is this?" Carmen's tone was hushed, tight, like his chest felt. He was sure this wasn't what he thought it was. It couldn't be.
"I, um, you know I-I've been feeling not great." You started, wringing your hands in front of him. "And I... I haven't had my period in a while, so I went to the store and... and I got a test, and it was..." You motioned down to the ultrasound. "I'm pregnant, Carmen."
The house was still. That same eerie stillness creeping back in, looming over both of you in such a sickening way, it had your stomach twisting.
Carmen blinked, shaky hands picking up the ultrasound, refusing to look at you. "Oh."
"Oh?" You repeated. "Carmen, I-I said I'm pregnant."
"No, no, I, uh, yeah, I-I heard you." Carmen nodded, leg bouncing under the table. "I just... I thought you were on birth control."
"Carmen, what?" You snapped. "I am."
"Then-Then how the fuck-"
"-Oh, don't you fuckin' dare, Berzatto." You hissed, rolling your eyes at him, snatching the ultrasound off the table.
"I'm not fuckin' blaming you, but-but how?" Carmen could feel his heart rate rising, ears ringing and head spinning with that old, familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on.
"How?" You gawked at him. "Carmen, it's not, like, a one-hundred percent guarantee, and-and... Come on, Carmen, we've been fucking a lot lately."
"I don't..." Carmen stopped himself, his hand rubbing over his eyes. Your heart skipped, chest aching with fear when you looked at him. Carmen pushed his chair out, standing and pacing around the kitchen, hands on his hips, lips in a thin line. "I-I need to think. Fuck, I need to think, just-just..."
You tracked him, your own heart hammering loud in your ears. Carmen snatched his cigarettes, hands shaking when he turned them over in his hands slowly. You could practically hear his thoughts, when the baby is here, he can't smoke anymore.
"I need a fuckin' second, ok? I need to fuckin' think!" Carmen boomed, voice thundering off the walls, making you jump. Carmen snatched his lighter and Spirits, stomping out the front door, the slam of the door the last thing you heard before the house settled and stilled again. Your worst possible scenario played out in front of you, becoming a reality too.
You were alone.
"Cousin, can I ask you, what the fuck your fuckin' problem is?" Richie grit, sliding beside Carmen. "The fuck are you being such a jagoff about, right now?"
"I'm being a jagoff?" Carmen snapped, slamming the knife down. His eyes were wild, hair even wilder. Curls matted and sticking out like they did when Carmen was stressed, when he'd ran his hands through them too much.
"Yeah, you're bein' a fuckin' jagoff." Richie countered, voice raising over Carmen's. "You look like shit, you smell like shit, and you're treatin' everyone here like fuckin' shit. So what's the fuckin' issue?"
"Fuck you, Richie, alright? Fuck you. Get the fuck outta my fuckin' face!" Carmen roared, the vein in his neck protruding when he did, sending the few chefs still in the kitchen retreating before they were screamed at next.
"Y'know why don't you just fuckin' calm down? Makin' everyone here fuckin' miserable with your bad attitude. No wonder-" Richie stopped, eyes flicking down to Carmen. His shoulders dropped, sighing heavy at his own revelation. "What'd you do?"
"What? What did I... Fuck off, I'm not in the-"
"-Nah, Cousin. What did you do?" Richie shook his head. "Why's she not here today, huh?"
"I'm right here." Natalie muttered, turning the corner, balancing two cups and a large work bag. "I had to take Chelle to Pete's office so he can take her to dance, and traffic was..." Natalie laughed cynically, shaking her head.
Carmen felt his stomach twist, jaw tightening. That would be you two before you knew it. All over the place, late to shit because of the kid. Just like Sugar and fucking Pete. That made him Pete.
"Not you, but I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Richie muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Sugar's cheek. "Carmen fucked up."
"I did not-"
"-You fucked up? On what, bear?" Natalie blinked, frowning lightly. "Oh, before I forget, where's my favorite sister in law? I have her-" Richie gave her a pointed look. Sugar stopped, face falling in realization. "Oh, that's... Carm, what did you do?"
"Can you two just fuck off? Fuck!" Carmen roared, kicking a pot under the table.
"Wow, anger issues much?" Sugar rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Is this what you did? Is that why she isn't here?"
"No, Natalie, you're pissin' me the fuck off-"
"Alright!" Richie clapped his hands, cutting them both off. "Family meeting. Ok? Meeting time. Right now."
"I don't have time-" Carmen started, Richie just clapping his hands on his shoulders, shoving him away from the table.
"Natalie, family meeting." Richie waved her in.
"Family meeting?" Fak turned the corner, eyes lit up hopefully.
"Not with you, you fuckin'..." Richie huffed, shaking his head. "Me, Nat, and Carm are having a meeting. Do your jobs, ok? Don't bother us, just... handle it, alright? Thank you. Every second counts and all that bullshit." Richie nodded towards the staff, shutting Carmen's office door behind him.
"Carm, you... Are you ok?" Natalie winced, looking at her younger brother.
Carmen ran his hands over his eyes, slumped in his desk chair, knees bouncing nervously. His breaths labored and ragged in his hands. Richie's eyes cut to Natalie's.
"Cousin," Richie's voice was softer this time. "What is goin' on?"
Carmen took a shaky breath in, Richie stilling at the sound of his emotions. "You... You were right. I fucked up." Carmen muttered. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." Carmen's voice was tight, thick with tears he was trying to choke back.
Natalie stepped forward slowly. "Carmen, what did you do?" She said as calmly as she could. "Just-Just tell us, and we'll... we'll try and help you."
"Did you cheat on her?" Richie asked, brows furrowed in disgust.
"No, what? Why the... No, no, no, I-I..." Carmen leaned back in the chair, hands knotted in his hair. "She's pregnant."
Richie and Natalie paused, both sighing slightly in relief. "Oh my God, that's great!"
"Yeah, I mean, Cousin, I thought you... I'm glad you didn't, but that's great!"
"Aw, is that why she's been sick? Poor thing. I knew it! You know Pete said that, and I-" Natalie started, Carmen's sudden jerk of his body, sitting in the chair with frantic eyes stopped her.
"I don't know!" Carmen blurted, shaking his head, refusing to look at them. At their furrowed brows of concern. He couldn't face them. Tell them what he'd done.
"You don't know?" Sugar frowned in confusion. "You don't know if she's pregnant?"
"I-I..." Carmen felt his chest tightening, burning with that familiar ache. He tried to breathe in, slow and long, counting back from ten like his therapist told him, but his chest still ached. "I left."
The room filled with that same eerie silence, the one that seemed to be following him around lately. The one that crept into the room when you showed him the ultrasound, the same one that followed him into the restaurant last night.
"You left?"
"You fuckin' what?"
Natalie and Richie gawked, eyes wide and frantic, looking down at Carmen.
"Cousin... What the fuck? You don't... Holy shit." Richie muttered, shaking his head.
"Carmen, have you lost your mind?" Natalie snapped. She was angry- no, furious. "You left your wife? You left your pregnant wife?"
"Yes, fuck, yes, I just... I needed to fuckin' think!" Carmen threw his hands out. "I can't think! She just... We weren't planning it and-and then... I just needed to think!"
"Then think at home! Or-Or with the person you're having a baby with, Carmen, Jesus!" Natalie roared back.
"Cousin, you... you fucked up." Richie said solemnly, nodding in agreement. "I mean, I've done a lot of shit. A lot, ok? Just ask Tiff. But I...I never fuckin' left."
"No, she just fuckin' left you, right? Tiff couldn't take you bein' an-"
"Hey, woah, take it fuckin' easy, Cousin. Watch it. This ain't about me." Richie snarled, finger jabbing in Carmen's direction. "I didn't fuck this up, ok? You did. This is your shit. We're just tryin' to fuckin' help you, so why don't you do all that de-escelatin' bullshit and take a fuckin' breath and relax."
Carmen's teeth ground tight, eyes flickering over to Natalie. "I'm with Richie on this." She snapped. "You did fuck up. Huge."
Carmen could feel the burn, rising in his throat. Was it fear? Vomit? Tears? Regret? All of the above?
"I know, I know, fuck, I know." Carmen muttered, falling back into the chair. "I just... I know, and-and now I don't know..." Carmen could feel his heart rate, waves of guilt and realization crashing over him, leaving him feeling sick.
Carmen stood quickly, hands tangled in his hair, pacing in the small area of the office. "Holy shit, she's gonna leave me. She-She's gonna leave me, and-and... Fuck! Why do I always do this? I always fuck up! Always! Like... What the fuck? Why-Why-"
"-Carmen." Sugar said slowly, hands on his shoulders, stopping him. "Hey, breathe. Breathe. Just... Just relax, ok?"
"No, no, no, I-I can't fuckin' relax. I-I got to-" Carmen rambled, his chest squeezing, burning.
"Carm, look, just... Just do the breathing thing. Listen to Natalie." Richie nodded towards Sugar. "And we'll get it handled, alright? We can't fix this until you calm the fuck down."
"Richie," Natalie hissed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Carmen, breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Innnnn and Out." She mimicked for him, slow pulls of air and soft exhales.
Carmen could hear you. Hear you in his head telling him to calm down, feel your hands on his cheeks, your soft praises and coos. His heart ached but it tricked his mind enough to listen, shaky rasps of air falling in and out until he was on sitting in the chair, knee bouncing with adrenaline.
Natalie shook her head lightly, looking over at Richie, then Carmen. "You need to go talk to her."
"I know. I know, Nat, but I got a dinner rush-"
"Carmen." Natalie sneered, in that tone. The tone she used usually with her own kids. A tone of finality.
"I got it covered, Cousin, alright? I got it." Richie nodded, patting Carmen on his back. "Just... Go figure your shit out."
"Yeah." Natalie huffed, eyes narrowed at her younger brother. "You better bring that poor girl some flowers or something. Better make it up to her, Carmen, that is so gross of you."
Carmen nodded softly, grabbing his back pack, shedding his apron. "I-I'll have my phone on me-"
"-Go!" Richie and Natalie yelled in unison.
"I got it, Cousin." Richie shook his head.
"Yeah, and you have other things to worry about." Natalie snapped. "More important things, like your marriage, and your kid."
Carmen's heart skipped at that. It sounded weird, unnatural. His kid. Mind racing back to images of you with his niece and nephew. How Chelle took to you so naturally when you first met her, cradling her in your arms while Natalie scampered off for a shower. Carmen's heart swelled at the thought, how he had watched you, how good you were at it.
He knew you'd be a good mom. Had no doubt about that. That wasn't the issue. No, the problem was him.
Carmen Berzatto, who's family was the epitome of chaos, and who's genes this baby would have. Would the baby have your eyes and his crippling anxiety? His curls and his coping skills? Your nose and smile, and his family's addiction gene?
You would be the perfect mom. You were already so perfect in every way to Carmen. Too kind and forgiving and funny and sweet to him, he couldn't understand why you loved him sometimes. You would be good no matter what.
You'd be better without him.
His mind screamed it over and over. He couldn't shake the thought last night, sitting on the steps of your home, chain smoking through half a pack while his mind raced, horrible voices mocking and sneering at him, telling him he wasn't good enough; that he wouldn't be good enough. That you would be better off alone.
Then he was walking. Walking as fast as he could away from your home, back to the restaurant, where he could distract himself. Where he could trick his mind to focus on anything else other than you.
It didn't work, of course. It never did.
His mind still raced, all the way back to your home- his home. The home he shared with you. The place you bought for the future; your future together. A future that now, looked like it would be a little fuller.
You gripped the porcelain of the toilet seat, stomach lurching again, spilling the contents of- you didn't even know what. How there was anything left, you weren't sure.
Your nose burned with tears, head drumming with a dull ache, throat burning with the acidity flare of bile. And worst of all, the only person you wanted was Carmen.
You were furious, hurt, just... confused with him, but your body still ached for him. For him to come in, rub your back and coo at you. Settle you and calm you, like he always did.
The front door closed softly, the thud of the latch echoing through the all too still house. Anchovy chirped and trilled, Carmen's soft, raspy greeting back to him making your body jolt.
You stayed still, waiting and quiet with each muffled footstep of Carmen's, his sneakers falling closer and closer until the door opened gently. Your gaze on his, watching him with wide, red rimmed eyes from the bathroom floor. His own reflecting down on you, hand still gripping the door knob.
"You... You're still sick?" Carmen asked, awkward and unsure. He didn't know what to say, where to even begin.
"Yeah." You sneered, hand slapping on the knob, flushing the toilet. "Guess that'll be happening for a while."
Carmen flinched at your tone. You were angry. No, you were hurt. The revelation made him feel like he needed to throw up next, the ache in his stomach rivaling the one in his chest.
You pushed up off the tub, Carmen's hands reaching to help you. You slapped them away with a menacing scoff. "Don't touch me." You snapped. "I've got it."
Carmen nodded, backing out slowly, giving you space to brush your teeth. He didn't miss the tremor in your hands when you held the toothbrush, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror.
"I..." Carmen's voice shook, a squeak of a word that had wobbled when he spoke. "I, uh, I-I'm sorry."
Your eyes flashed to his furiously, lips pursing. "I know that's... fuck, that's not..." Carmen sighed heavily, a grounding breath to soothe his nerves, get the shake out of his voice. "I don't know what-what else to say other than... I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" You sneered, turning to him, your tone unnervingly calm. "You're fucking sorry?"
"Yeah, I-"
"-You left me!" You roared, chest heaving with fury. Your fears and sadness had turned into rage, pure rage.
"I go outside to check on you, and you're gone! Who the fuck does that, Carmen? What the fuck is wrong with you?" You screamed.
"I-I don't know, I just..." Carmen's chest tightened, strangling his words. The pounding in his chest had returned, as had the queasiness in his stomach.
"You just? Just what, Carmen? Just don't want to be with me anymore?" Your voice cracked, tears brimming your waterline.
The silence was back. Uncomfortably loud and suffocating. Neither one of you moved, just stared at each other through heaving chests.
"I-I..." Carmen swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "How could you... You think I-I don't want to be with you?"
"Well, what else am I supposed to think, Carmen?" You scoffed, throwing your hands out in exasperation. "You left!"
Carmen winced at the harshness of your tone. "I didn't... I just needed to think-"
"-Think?" You scoffed. "Think about what exactly, Carmen? Huh? Whether you were going to stay-"
"-No! Fuck, no!" Carmen barked, mind racing and overwhelmed. Hands trembling, heart pounding, he stared at you. "About... About how it would be. About how I would be."
"How you would be?"
"Yeah, how I would be." Carmen snaps, a little too defensive even for his own liking. It was habit, even after years of trying to be better, it still crept out at times.
Carmen took a breath, turning to you. "I'm... I don't think I'm going to be a good dad."
Your own heart sunk, a dull ache in your chest, heavy with the weight of his words. The fall of his face, lips curling downward. "Carmen," You said softly. "Why-Why would you... We've talked about having kids before."
"Yeah, but not... I thought I had time." Carmen admitted, hands shaking when he crossed his arms over his chest to still them. "I-I thought I would have some time to-to get my shit together."
You paused, watching his face crumble. The deep breath he took to keep himself from crying- from breaking. "I don't- I don't wanna be a bad dad. I don't wanna fuck this kid up." Carmen whispered, eyes darting everywhere but your own. He couldn't look at you when he said it, sure when he saw the sorrow in your own eyes he would crumble at your feet.
"Carmen," You said softly, taking a step towards him. He took one back, distancing himself. He knew what you were going to do. Reach out and comfort him, make him feel better- he didn't deserve that.
"Carm, please," You begged lightly. "You... You know you're gonna be a good dad-"
"-No, no, I don't know that." Carmen scoffed, shaking his head. "I mean, my fuckin' dad was a piece of shit, so was his dad, so-so will I. And-And I don't wanna do that to this kid. I don't wanna do that to you."
"Stop." You snapped, lips pressed together, sniffling to keep your own tears at bay. "Just...Just stop. Ok? Stop. You're... Do you really think I would have married you if I thought that bad of you? Do you think I would have ever even entertained the thought of having a baby with you, starting a family, if I thought you'd be shitty?"
Carmen's own eyes shone with unshed tears. You blinked, wiping the hot tears that ran down your cheeks away. "I'm scared, too. I-I called Alicia over you because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react." You admitted.
Carmen nodded, you could see the hurt in his eyes. "So you knew I would react like this? You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be a bad-"
"-No, I didn't tell you because I know you don't like surprises." You snapped. "I know you don't like to be fuckin' blindsided and-and shocked. I don't either. I knew it would shock you. I knew it wasn't apart of our plan right now." You held his gaze, eyes hard when you met his.
"But I never thought you'd be a bad dad." Your tone was firm. It made Carmen's heart swell. "I still don't think you'd be a bad dad, for the record. I think you're an asshole, and I'm furious with you." You said pointedly.
Carmen nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I... I don't blame you f'that." He muttered, looking down at his hands, wedding band shining almost mockingly back up at him. "Sugar's pissed at me. Richie, too." He paused, eyes lifting to yours. "I'm mad at me too."
"Yeah? Me too." You sigh, looking at him. "You can't just leave-"
"-I know." Carmen nodded. "I-I know. I don't... I'm sorry." Carmen looked at you, shoulders falling slightly. "I'm so sorry."
You nodded gently, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. "This is not how I thought this would go, honestly." You admitted with a small, wet laugh.
"Which part?" Carmen hummed, hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tear stained cheek with the pad of his thumb.
"All of it." You sighed. "But telling you. I-I always thought I'd do one of those cute, little Pinteresty things and surprise you."
"Yeah? 'm sorry." Carmen muttered, his heart fluttering with guilt again. "Maybe next time?"
You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Damn him, making you smile when you were supposed to be mad at him- you were still mad at him. But you were tired even more. Exhausted emotionally, physically- you just wanted to crawl into bed.
Carmen pulled you closer to him, his hand running down your spine. "Maybe you can do that cutesy shit to tell everyone else." He suggested. "I mean... Fuck, well, I-I told Richie and-and Sugar, but... Tina? Or all them?"
You bit back a smile, the curl of your lips betraying you. "Yeah." You hum, your body betraying you as you sunk into Carmen's chest.
"Here," Carmen muttered, pulling you close to him. "I'll get you in bed, and I'll go on the couch-"
"-No," You sighed, shuffled steps down the hall. "I don't... Just sleep in the bed with me."
Carmen hesitated. "No, I-I can stay on the couch. I know you don't-"
"-I can't sleep without you, Carm." You pleaded. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and-and... I just want to sleep."
Carmen nodded, following you into the shared bedroom. Stripping out of his jeans, trading them for sweatpants, before climbing in the bed with you. You stayed on your side, Carmen on his own. There was still tension, still lingering feelings of that familiar eeriness, but there was also comfortability.
Carmen would make it up to you. He'd be at every appointment, paint the nursery- be everything you knew he would be. Later. In the coming weeks as you two welcomed, embraced the baby coming. You'd get to tell everyone in your cutesy way like you'd dreamed. Tina's reaction would make you cry, and the baby shower would make you sob. You'd mull over baby names for hours with Carmen, going back and forth, testing each name tentatively until you found the perfect one.
For now, you were happy just to know Carmen was here with you. You were happy just to sleep. There was still so much ahead of you- of both of you.
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#dad!carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#carmy berzatto x reader#the bear#carmen berzatto angst#the bear fx#the bear hulu#carmen 'carmy' berzatto#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto blurb#carmen berzatto x female!reader#camren berzatto x female!reader#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmen berzatto x you#dilf!carmen berzatto#richie jerimovich#sugar berzatto#natalie berzatto#pete the bear#tina the bear#carmen berzatto x reader angst#carmen berzatto x fem!reader angst
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Glasses
Husband!Oscar x black!wife!reader
Word count: 2k
Content warning: fluffy fluffy, Oscar is a stubborn husband, a little sexy flirtatiousness at the end, just your typical married couple and we love it, reader is hot for Oscar and his glasses (I mean I would be too tf)
A/N: bare in mind that i don’t have glasses idk how the process goes lmao I just made shit up so sorry if it’s not accurate I guess. Who cares we’re in make believe land rn
Sorry for typos && bad translations if any
(I know these aren’t glasses glasses but… you get it lmao)
"Mama..." Rafa says poking your arm, you look down at him and smile. "Yes?"
"Why is Dad making that face?" He asks pointing over to Oscar who's holding his phone down in his lap with his head tilted up slightly so that he can see the screen better. You shook your head. That old bastard was a stubborn one. You have noticed for months now that Spooky is squinting to read everything, he's holding things at certain angles just the see the words correctly. He even has the kids reading things for him when he flat-out can't make out any of the words.
And of course, you've confronted him about it, saying if he wanted you could schedule an appointment with an optometrist and get his vision checked but he tells you— "No, mamita, I'm fine."
Stubborn Jack ass.
You roll your eyes and sigh dramatically. "Mi hijo, maybe you can talk some sense into your big-headed father. Because he won't listen to me." You say loud enough for your husband to hear. He grumbles and looks over at you, so tempted to say something disrespectful but your son is there. You wiggle your eyebrows taunting him.
"Papa, I think you need gafas."(glasses)
Spooky breathes heavily like a dragon, you swear smoke comes out of his nose too. "Mira, baby, let me just take you to check your eyes. If I'm wrong I'll eat my words and do anything you want."
His ears perk up at the offer. "Anything?"
And you knew what that tone meant. Spooky had been asking for another baby sooner rather than later but you constantly rebuttal with the fact that your third child, Emilia, was only a year old and you refused to have two under two. "Yes, anything." You reply confidently knowing you'd win this battle. He says it's a deal and you smile proudly keeping a reminder to make his appointment later.
-- --
In the days leading up to the appointment, he swore up and down that you'd be wrong, that you'll soon be walking around with a round belly all over again and he couldn't wait to see it. You remain quiet and shrug, occasionally giggling at how cocky he was about this.
After dropping the kids off at your mom's, you two head over to the Optometrist. You're pleasantly greeted by the woman at the front desk who asks you who the appointment is for. Oscar finds himself a seat and huffs like a child. You roll your eyes and mention his name. "I'm assuming you made the appointment." She smiles light-heartedly. "That obvious?"
"Trust me, I've got one at home whose chain I have to pull to even get him to the doctor. They're all like that."
You giggle and look over your shoulder at him as he pouts and looks at his new shoes. The receptionist says she'll let the doctor know you two were there and be back to guide you to a room. You take a seat next to Oscar who immediately puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing at your supple flesh. "So, what do you think the next baby will be? I hope it's a boy, I can't lie."
"Will you shut the fuck up? You are not winning this bet, Diaz."
He looks around before trailing his hand up your dress, your eyes widen when his fingers brush over your panties. "Who you talkin' to like that? Don't let this bet get you fucked up."
You swallow your attitude and shrink in the chair, he removes his hand and gently kisses your temple. Maybe he'd get another baby out of you regardless.
It wasn't long before you two were called in. Once in the room, Oscar was told to sit in the chair that was hooked up to everything while you sat in the extra chair not too far from them. He starts by asking Oscar about his medical history; and if anyone in his family has problems with their vision but he says, "Not as far as I know."
You watch as he's asked to read the chart across the room and he instinctively squints, you cover your mouth to stop your giggles.
Even with the act of squinting he ends up getting a lot of them wrong.
He's tested furthermore and, honestly, it was not looking too good. He was struggling so much that it was truly getting to him, his nails scape at the jeans over his knee caps-- taps them once in a while whenever he lets out a frustrated sigh. You were beginning to feel bad for him, wanting to whisper the letters to him so he didn't feel so... shitty.
The lights in the room turn on and the optometrist sits in his chair. "Mr. Diaz, unfortunately, I do think you'll need some prescription glasses. You are more farsighted in your right eye than you are in your left. The left eye seems to be fine for now. So, I will put in an order for a pair of lenses and when they're ready we'll give you a call to pick out the frames."
Oscar sighs, he sounds so defeated. You two thank the doctor and make your way out of the office building and back to the car. He sucks his teeth while buckling his seatbelt, he crosses his arms and waits for you to put the car in drive but you don't budge. "Why are you acting like this?"
He shrugs. "Let's just go."
"No. What are you upset about?"
"I'm old."
There was a moment of silence, took you a a minute to realize he was serious. "I'm old, mama. I can't see shit, I'm tired, I'm cranky. I'm fucking old. Next thing you know I can't play with my kids, can't play Fútbol con Rafa, dios mio." (Soccer with Rafa, my God)
He was genuinely spiralling. "Papito, I hate to break it to you but we're supposed to get old." You say to him but it (obviously) doesn't help.
"Lo sé, mi amor, pero, they still have to make it to middle school and high school, I gotta see them through college."
"Who says you won't? Mi marido, (my husband) we will be there for all of their events, for all the big changes. We will still be there when they all leave the nest to create their own, and when they come back to visit." You reassure. "I'll still be next to you in a rocking chair. We are not going anywhere, anytime soon. Entiendes? No hay prisa." (Understand? No rush)
He nods, still pouting. You lean over and plant a loving kiss on his lips. "If you ask me you will make a sexy Abuelo. Glasses and all."
"En serio?" A little bit of confidence coming back to him.
"Sí, papi chulo." You purr pulling him in for another kiss. "You know we have a lot of time before we got to get the kids." He grumbles his lips travelling down your neck. "Let's go before you get us in trouble in this parking lot."
He shrugs. "Wouldn't be the first time."
You laugh. "I know, I don't want to relive it."
-- --
Days passed and Oscar finally got the call to pick up his lenses and choose the frames, you offered to go with him but he said he wanted to surprise you. You'd been waiting all day excited to see what would walk through the door.
You sighed flipping through the selections on Prime, the house was quiet with the kids either distracted or sleeping and you were bored-- until you heard the car door slam shut and his keys jingle right outside the door. The door swings open but he doesn't enter, not yet. He calls out for you and when you answer all too eagerly he chuckles at your excitement. "You been waitin' on this all day?" He asks.
"Yes, hurry the fuck up." You rush. He appears from behind the door and stands with his arms slightly open. "Cómo me veo?" (How do I look?) He asks. Your eyes widen and your jaw slacks. They were simple black frame glasses, they weren't obnoxiously thick or oddly small, and they were good enough to fit him. You sit up on your knees and lean over the back of the couch. "You look... good. Muy guapo, papito." You slur feeling a heat spread in your lower belly. His eyebrows raise in surprise, he knows that look anywhere.
"Quierida..."
"Oscar... " You had the filthiest line ready for him to hear until a pair of footsteps descended from the steps. "Whoooooa! Elliana, Mira! Papa got glasses!" Rafa announces rushing down the stairs to get a better look and shortly another set of little feet made their way over. The two children were so interested in what was on their father's face and how different he looked. "Can you see better?" Elliana asks and he smiles giving her a sweet kiss on her head. "Sí, mi corazón. Thanks for asking."
Rafa turns to you. "Mama, doesn't Dad's glasses look cool?"
Their eyes were on you but you could feel the taunting nature of your husband's eyes. "Yeah... mhm, he looks... they look-k good." You stammer causing Oscar to smirk.
He had seemingly found an upper hand on you with these glasses and he wasn't afraid to use it over the next week. He had them on even when he didn't need them to see that look on your face— the lust, the adoration— your pupils seem to expand whenever you see him in those spectacles. He just looked fucking hot.
It was the best when he walked around in his grey sweats, alone, with no shirt. Just his tattoos and glasses to complete his look and you ate it up every time. You tug on your bottom lip as you paint the picture in your mind. But why imagine, when you can just go see. The house was quiet, all the kids were sound asleep, you shifted out of bed as carefully as you could to not wake Emilia. Once you are successful you grab the baby monitor and creep downstairs, the television is off and the whole first floor is dark-- the only form of light shines through the windows courtesy of the moon.
"Why the fuck would you do that!?"
Ah yes, of course, he was in his habitat. The basement. You sneak your way down to see that the ceiling light is off and he just has the ones around his monitors on, though they are bright enough for her to see where she's going. His back is turned and he's so zoned in that your presence goes unnoticed for quite some time. You cross your arms and dramatically clear your throat to let him know you're here. "Yall give me a minute, wifey is here." You can hear the collective; "Hi wifey!" "Hola señiorita!" "What's good Mrs. Spooky?"
You smile and greet them right back before he mutes his mic. "What's up?" He spins his chair to give you his full attention. "Emilia's awake?"
You shake your head. "No, she's still sleeping. Just came to hang out." Your eyes ogle the print in his sweats. He follows your line of sight and chuckles. "You sure?"
"Mhm." You swing your leg over his legs and perch yourself on his lap. "I mention how fucking good you look in these glasses?" You purr leaning in. "They havin' an effect on you, ma. That I can see." He hums ghosting your lips with his. "And that's why you should listen to your esposa (wife)more."
Your lips finally meet and it's not long before you two are practically nibbling at each other with a mutual desperation to end the sexual tension that's been created over time. "Let me hop off the game-"
"No, it's okay. They can't see you right?" You smirk gnawing at his jaw. "No, they can't."
You reach between your bodies and slide your hand into his sweats. Oscar reaches up to adjust his glasses and when they begin to fog up he cleans them off and reaches to put them on his desk when you stop him.
"The glasses stay on, Diaz."
if you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic, reblogs and comments are appreciated. peace and love, see you in the next one🤙🏾
🏷️: @darqchilddaydreamz @educatorsareslutstoo @realhotgurlshit @bigenergy777
#fluff#spooky fanfic#marleywrites#marleysfanfictions#on my block fanfiction#spooky#on my block#spooky x black!reader#husband!oscar#oscar diaz x black!reader
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Closure
"We like Steve, but we don't love Steve," Murray said mockingly.
A wave of fury rose up in Nancy. What business is it of his? Steve has been there for her more than anyone. He didn't have to go to the dinners with her but he did, every single one of them. He walked back into the house and fought the demogorgon when he didn't have to. He could have run. He was there for her, and she was just going to let this asshole mock him? No.
"I don't think it's any of your business," Nancy snapped. "And I love Steve. Maybe not in the way that he loves me, but I love him."
"Okay, okay," Murray said, holding up his hands defensively. "Sensitive, very sensitive."
Later that night, she lay in bed thinking about Steve and Jonathan. She also thought about Barb. She should feel victorious, but there was a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach. She thought about the gate, how it was still open, and spreading into Hawkins. They weren't the same scientists, not the ones that killed Barb, and they were trying to stop the spread, but they were failing. . . They were only keeping it at bay momentarily. What if what she did puts them at risk because all she could see was getting justice for Barb? What if it swallows the entire town? What if it kills Holly? Or her mom and Dad? Or Mike? Oh, god, what did she do? What if the lab shuts down, and they can't stop it? Will was still getting treated by the doctors when no one else could possibly help, and she dragged his brother into this. Nancy rolled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. Jonathan popped his head into the bathroom.
"Nancy?" He asked as he knelt next to her.
"We fucked up. We shouldn't have done this. It's still open, Jonathan," Nancy said. "I didn't think about it when I saw it, and why didn't I? Why wasn't that enough for me to wake up? I was so angry. I was just so angry."
"Nancy - " Jonathan started to say.
"It's too late. I don't think I could get that creep to turn over anything now," Nancy sniffled. "God, it was so weird that he was pushing us together like that."
"Well, I mean, the idea of us isn't totally crazy, is it?" Jonathan asked.
"Jonathan. . .I'm still with Steve. . .and while I do have feelings for you, I don't think it would be a good idea. I'm still dealing with Barbara, and I could really use a friend, and I know that's not what you want to hear. I need friends to talk to. . . like you. . .like Steve. I don't think I can handle a relationship right now, not with either of you," Nancy sighed. "And I think that if you pulled your head out of your ass, you and Steve could be great friends too."
"Nance, he said some awful things - " Jonathan started to stay.
"Yeah, he apologized for those," Nancy snapped. "And you nearly killed him for it, so I think you're even."
"He's a douchebag," Jonathan scoffed.
"And you aren't? Need I remind you that you took those photos of me," she said. "And I just put everyone at risk! None of us are perfect, but do I really have to remind you that Steve put his life on the line for both of us? I could really use both of you. . . I can't lose anyone else. Can't you at least try?"
"Nancy. . . "
"Come on, you both like to cook!" Nancy said.
"He cooks? He doesn't have people do that for him?" Jonathan asked with a scoff of disbelief.
"His parents leave him alone all the time. He kind of had to fend for himself, kind of like you did, except your mom actually gives a shit," Nancy said and then paused. "Don't tell him I told you that."
"Damn it," Jonathan muttered and sighed. "Fine. I'll give the guy a chance."
"Thank you," Nancy said softly.
"I never actually apologized for taking those photos. It doesn't matter why I took those photos, I still took them, and I shouldn't have," Jonathan said. "I'm sorry, and I'm not taking it back this time. I actually mean it. Not only did I invade your privacy, but I also abused my skills as a photographer."
"Thank you for saying that," Nancy said softly. "And thank you for meaning it. There's a part of me that's always going to be a little weirded out by it, which is another reason why we shouldn't be together, but I want you to know that I do forgive you."
Nancy and Jonathan stayed on the floor in silent contemplation.
"You know, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship either," Jonathan said.
"Yeah," Nancy said softly.
There was another long moment of silence between them.
"You know, you would make a better journalist than that guy," Jonathan said.
"Yeah?" Nancy asked.
"Yeah."
When they got back to Hawkins, things had gone to shit. Will was now possessed by what the kids are calling the Mind Flayer, Steve’s like their guardian now, and El was alive, getting ready to close the gate with Hopper. Meanwhile, Steve and Nancy were looking through the heaters out on the lawn to use to get the Mind Flayer out of Will.
"You should go with him," Steve said.
"What?" Nancy asked.
"With Jonathan," Steve said.
"No, I'm not just going to leave Mike," Nancy scoffed.
"No one's leaving anyone. I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend . . . But I'm a damn good babysitter," Steve said.
"Steve. . . "
"It's okay, Nance. It's okay," Steve said softly, and her eyes filled with tears.
"You were not a shitty boyfriend! You were the best first boyfriend I could have asked for, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were. I was drowning and . . . You helped. You were there. After this we'll talk properly, okay?" Nancy sniffled and hugged Steve tightly. "Just want you to know that nothing happened with Jonathan. We're just friends. I don't want to lose either of you from my life, okay? Promise?"
"I promise," Steve said.
After freeing Will from the Mind Flayer, they met up with Hop in front of Jonathan's house. Hop was pulling El out of the car when they approached. Nancy opened the front door for him, following him into the house. When they walked in, they found the kids arguing with Steve over a knocked out Billy Hargrove. Steve’s face was bloody and beaten.
"I say we bury him outside with the other demodogs," Mike scowled.
"Mike! He is a person, and he's still alive!" Steve yelled. "He's also Max's brother."
"Stepbrother!" Max corrected.
"He slammed Lucas into a wall!" Mike screeched.
"He did what?!" Joyce asked, appalled.
"What the hell is going on here?" Hopper asked as he set El on the couch.
The kids started talking at once until Steve whistled, hollered, and clapped his hands.
"Hey, shitheads! Let me do the talking," Steve replied, putting his hands on his hips.
"You really are a good babysitter," Nancy grinned.
"More like a mom," Jonathan whispered loudly, and Nancy snickered.
"He's my stepbrother," Max spoke up. "He came looking for me. He didn't want me to hang out with Lucas, and so he attacked him. Steve stepped in to help, but Billy nearly killed him, so I used the ketamine to knock him out."
"I mean, I don't think he would have killed me," Steve frowned.
"You were unconscious, and he was still beating on you," Lucas said.
"You didn't see the look on his face!" Dustin exclaimed, his face pale. "He enjoyed it!"
"Okay. I need to deal with Hargrove, but first, I need to take you to the hospital," Hopper sighed.
"I'm fine," Steve said.
"Fine?! Fine?! He smashed a plate over your head, Steve!" Dustin exclaimed.
"What?!" Nancy, Jonathan, and Joyce exclaimed.
"Uh, I'll take Steve to the hospital, and you can deal with Hargrove if it makes it easier, Hop," Jonathan said, and Hopper nodded.
"I'll go with you," Nancy said.
"I'll go too!" Dustin and Lucas exclaimed.
"We're going to need to take Will to the hospital, anyway," Joyce said.
"I'm fine," Will said.
"Is there an echo in here?" Joyce scowled. "Max and Mike, you can ride with us."
"Yeah, we can go to the hospital," Will said.
Nancy practically pushed Steve into the passenger's seat before he could protest and climbed into the back seat with the two boys.
"Hey, Steve?" Lucas asked.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks, man," Lucas said softly.
"Anytime," Steve said with a grin.
Lucas lunged forward and hugged Steve from behind before plopping back down into his seat.
"Aww," Nancy, Jonathan, and Dustin said in unison.
"Oh my God! Shut up and drive!" Lucas exclaimed.
After Steve was admitted into the hospital as the doctors wanted to keep him overnight for observation, Jonathan went to check in on Will. On the way out of Steve’s room, he pulled Dustin and Lucas out of the room, leaving Nancy alone with Steve.
"You know, I have a hard time putting into words how I feel about someone. Steve, you're an important part of my life, and I want you to continue to be a part of it. I do love you, Steve, but not in the way that you want me to. I'm sorry I couldn't say that before, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. Don't say that I didn't because I did, Steve. You were there for me when not a lot of people were and you went to every dinner when you didn't have to. You held me as I cried, and you listened to me talk about Barb. I think if Barb hadn't died that night, I think I would have fallen head over heels for you, but too much has happened, and I don't know how to forget," Nancy said, crying.
"I don't think you ever forget. I think you just put one foot in front of the other and I think you'll find that it is easier to walk even with all the weight that you carry. You just get stronger," Steve shrugged and paused. "I don't want to lose you either."
"You're pretty smart, you know that? Why don't you bring it out more often?" Nancy asked.
"Some people just like me for my pretty face," Steve tried to joke.
"You're beautiful inside and out, Steve Harrington," Nancy said.
"Back at you," Steve smiled, sniffling. "I love you."
"I love you too," Nancy smiled and hugged him tightly.
Jonathan tentatively knocked on the door and popped his head in. His shoulders were a little tense.
"Can I come in?" He asked.
"Yeah," Nancy said.
"I just want to say, Steve, that it was pretty cool what you did. Those guys mean a lot to Will, and he's very grateful to you. So am I," Jonathan said.
"Thanks, man," Steve said, and then he grinned. "I guess you heard that I'm single now. Do you want a piece of this action? I have to say I'm still very fragile."
"Fuck off, man," Jonathan laughed, his shoulders relaxing. "I don't do jocks."
Nancy giggled, looking gratefully at Jonathan. It was a good start for all of them. A very good start.
#stranger things#stranger things s2#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#steve x nancy#stancy#steve & nancy#platonic stancy#jonathan byers#jonathan x nancy#jancy#jonathan & nancy#platonic jancy#steve & jonathan#platonic stonathan#steve & nancy & jonathan friendship#they all get closure#nancy tells murrary off#steve is a good man who's always been there for nancy#whether you think they're romantic or not you have to acknowledge that steve was there for her#i fixed it#nancy needs friends so do jonathan and steve
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here's a snippet of the cherik dads (and then there's you) sequel idk if i'll ever post <3
(they had another baby! it's david! hurt/comfort! love! nina is about 3 here.)
Charles wants to weep when Erik comes in the door, Nina propped on his hip. He still feels so fucking weird, emotions everywhere, freezing cold from the analgesia, head fuzzy from the pain meds. They’ve taken David to the NICU, because he was too early, and he’ll get to come back for skin-to-skin time later, but Charles is so muddled and doesn’t know when later is. God, it’s so good to see them.
“See?” Erik says, rubbing her little back with one big hand. “Daddy’s okay. He’s right here.”
“Hi, Neens,” Charles says, swallowing the thickness in his throat.
She turns her head into Erik’s neck, holding onto him tighter. Erik frowns down at her, then at Charles.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Erik asks, voice low. He crosses the room, sitting in the chair at Charles’s bedside. She doesn't look up the whole time.
Nina lets out an aggravated sob, and Charles has to stop himself from ordering Erik to hand her over. “Daddy,” she whimpers, but she keeps clinging onto Erik.
“Don’t you want to see him?” Erik says gently. He’s such a good father, so patient. It’s started up the tears again, and poor Erik shifts Nina to one arm so he can hold Charles’s hand. Charles squeezes, letting it anchor him.
They can’t both cry, so he gets it together while Nina starts properly sniffling.
She was so excited to see you, I promise, Erik nudges into his mind. Charles thinks if he tries to respond, he might give Erik amnesia or something. Instead, he gives him a tight smile.
“I’m okay, bug,” he tries.
She manages a tearful look at him, all big eyes. Her cheeks are bright red. “Daddy,” she mumbles mournfully.
“There’s my girl.” Charles isn’t sure how long he can stand it, not being able to soothe her. “It’s a bit scary at the hospital, yeah?” She peeks at him a little more directly, so he keeps going. His head is still swimming, but Erik’s rubbing his thumb over his knuckles, and he can comfort his baby on autopilot at this point. “If you get too scared, Papa can take you home, okay?”
She shakes her head, scrunching up her face like she’s going to cry again. Charles rushes to add, “You can stay, baby, of course you can. My brave girl.”
Finally, finally, she reaches out for him. “I don’t think–” Erik starts to say, but Charles admonishes him quickly.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Erik looks dubious, but he stands up and hands her to Charles, who tucks her against his chest carefully. Her face is wet and snotty and hot, and she holds on tight and mashes it against his throat. He squeezes her tight, ignoring the leaden feeling in his arms. “Hi, love, I missed you so much,” he whispers into her hair.
“Daddy,” she hiccups. He can tell as he rubs her back that she’s starting to fizzle out. “Missed you.”
Chest aching, Charles kisses the top of her head. “I’ll be home soon, okay? I’m just a little poorly. The doctor will fix it.” He knows she’s not going to like that answer, but she wants comfort and sleep more than she wants to pitch another fit. He just keeps holding her, carefully away from where he’s sore. They’ll be a family of four when they go home, but right now it’s him and his best girl and the comforting knowledge that Erik’s here.
Erik’s in his mind, too, just faintly, fond and loving and a bit awed, which Charles doesn’t really understand.
When Nina falls asleep, Charles just about does too.
“I’m gonna let my mom have her one more night,” Erik says quietly, somewhere at his side. “I want to be here, since you can’t go down to see David yet.”
Charles lets him extract Nina, as much as it makes him want to cry again. He wants his babies, both of them, here.
Erik appears again after a moment, though, and sits beside him carefully. “If you rest, you’ll be able to see them soon,” he says, leaning down to kiss his temple. He’s not sure if he’s leaking emotions or if Erik just knows him. “Everything’s alright. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
“Can you just—” His tongue is getting thick, but Erik understands, sitting next to him and stroking his hair. Charles registers that he’s probably going to sleep at the hospital, too. Maybe he should feel guilty, but. The feeling of safety blankets him instead.
“There you are,” Erik murmurs, scratching his scalp. “Just rest. You’re so good.”
It works, because it’s Erik, and they’re together, and that means it’s going to be alright.
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Ephemeral Love | Chapter 16
pairing: Seungmin x fem reader
genre: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, university au, right person wrong time, minor character death
pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
warnings: swearing, hospitals, angry Changbin, yelling, harsh words directed at Y/n, death
summary: Does love last forever, or is it fleeting? For university juniors Kim Seungmin and Seo Y/n, it's love at first sight but sometimes you meet your soulmate at the wrong time.
word count: 3,240 (i am so sorry)
screenshot count: n/a
previous | masterlist | next
©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
You quietly excuse yourself from the table, leaving Seungmin alone while you quickly walk to the library bathroom. You and Seungmin had gone to the movies earlier in the day to take advantage of the discounted prices before you went to study for midterms. Having gone from the movies to the library, you didn't bother turning your ringer on. It was only by chance that you went into your bag to get your laptop charger that you saw your sister was calling you.
"Sorry, my ringer was--"
"Y/n," You're cut off by Iseul's voice. It's low and shaky, causing you to panic immediately.
"What's wrong? What happened?" You nervously play with the hem of your shirt as you wait for your sister to talk.
"It's dad, he had another heart attack." She whispers into the phone. Or maybe she said it at a normal volume. You're not entirely sure, your heart is pounding so loudly, that you can't hear anything.
"Where are you?"
"The hospital. The same one he was in last time. But Y/n, I think it's worse this time."
"H-how bad?" You bite your lip to keep from completely falling apart in the bathroom.
"I don't know. The doctors are saying a lot of things that mom and I don't understand but...Y/n, Changbin needs to be here too. I don't want to ask you to have to get him but when I called it went straight to voicemail."
"Yeah, he shuts his phone off when he's tattooing someone. I'll go get him and meet you at the hospital. Just--fuck, just--" Tears start welling up in your eyes.
"I know, I know. I love you, see you soon."
"Love you too."
You hang up the phone and lean your back against the bathroom wall, just trying to catch your breath. Your father has had a handful of heart attacks before, but that never stops you from worrying. And if you have to tell Changbin this time, it must be really bad. Like, on his deathbed bad. Your father had forbade you, your mother, and your sister from telling Changbin about his heart attacks. He would always go on about how if Changbin really cared about him or the family then he wouldn't have "disgraced" the Seo name the way he did. None of you argued back out of fear of giving him another attack.
You take a deep, shaky breath before leaving the bathroom and heading back to the table where Seungmin is typing away on his laptop. His attention is pulled away from his work as you scramble to put your stuff in your bag.
"What's wrong?" Seungmin quietly closes his laptop and it in his bag.
"No, stay and study. I have to go." You keep your head down so Seungmin can't see your glossy eyes.
"What happened?" His hand reaches out and lands on yours.
"My dad--" You let out a sigh, "my dad is in the hospital. I need to go."
"Okay, let's go." He picks up the pace gathering his things.
"Minnie, it's fine, really." You zip up your bag and sling it across your shoulder.
"You're not fine. You're trying not to cry right now, I can tell. Plus, Minho hyung let me borrow the car for today, it'll be faster." You finally look up at Seungmin, a cool tear falling down your face. Seungmin reaches over the table and wipes the tear with the pad of his thumb.
"Thank you," You whisper, giving him a small smile.
***
The first time your father had a heart attack is forever engrained in your memory. It's the one memory you wish you could forget. You were 16 and home alone with your father. Iseul was on campus almost an hour away and your mother was out having dinner with some friends. You were still hungry even after dinner at the after-school academy you attended. Your father, who was home earlier than usual, sat with you while you had your second dinner. It was actually a nice moment. It was the first time you had seen your father smile in weeks and the two of you bonded. It was a picture-perfect moment until his breathing shortened and he grabbed his arm in pain. You watch in horror as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed to the ground. You can still remember the feeling of having to perform CPR as you waited for the ambulance.
You can't help but feel like you're 16 again, sitting in the same waiting room for one of the doctors to talk to you. The only difference, you're not alone. Your head is resting on Seungmin's chest as he gently strokes your back. Iseul is consoling your mom, trying not to cry herself and Changbin is sitting beside you, abnormally quiet. He hasn't spoken a word since you told him that your father was in the hospital. You're not entirely sure what's going on in his head. His expression is stoic and unreadable. He didn't even react when you took his hand with your free and to give him some comfort.
"The Seo family?" A tall doctor with platinum-dyed hair calls into the waiting room. Seungmin takes his arm off of you so you can get up.
You and your family gather in front of the doctor, Changbin gripping your hand. You're not sure if he's doing it to comfort you or because he needs the comfort himself. Either way, you squeeze his hand back.
"How's my husband?" Your mother asks, her voice dry from all the crying she did earlier.
"Your husband is fine, Mrs. Seo. We ran extensive tests and determined that he suffered from a myocardial infarction. Luckily, we were able to stabilize him for now. But, because of his history of heart attack, we feel it would best if we went ahead with a coronary artery bypass as soon as possible." The doctor explains. Changbin's hand goes limp in yours.
"A coronary artery bypass? That sounds dangerous. Is it dangerous?" Iseul asks, looking more at you than the doctor.
"It's a major invasive surgery. It's risky, but I'm guessing if they're suggesting a CABG, a stent or an angioplasty aren't viable options." You turn your attention to the doctor, who looks like a medical student herself, to get confirmation of your suspicions.
"Uh--yes, that's correct. Are you a medical student?" She asks, taken aback by you.
"Not exactly. How soon would you be performing the surgery?" You ask.
"We do want to work as soon as possible but we also don't want to cause more damage in its already vulnerable state. So we're going to monitor him for the next couple of days to give him a better chance of survival." She explains. Your mother turns to you and you quietly nod.
"Okay, we'll do that if that's the best course of action. Can we go see him?" Your mother asks.
"He's resting right now in the ICU and we're only letting one person at a time." The doctor explains.
"Go, mom, you should go sit with him first." Iseul gently pushes your mother in the direction of the doctor and the two of them disappear into the hallway.
You turn to rejoin Seungmin on the couch and explain everything to him and your siblings again when you're jerked back. Changbin's grip on you tightens again.
"Explain," His voice cracks.
"A myocardial infarction is--"
"No, not that. The doctor said 'history of heart attacks.' What was she talking about?" Isuel turns around and joins the two of you back in the middle of the waiting room.
"Changbin--"
"Dad told us not to tell you." Iseul cuts you off. She give you a look. She knew you were going to try to calm him down and avoid this conversation altogether.
"So he's had a heart attack before?" He lets go of your hand.
"A few times, but they were all minor. With the right diet and exercise--" You explain.
"A few times?"
"Four," You clarify.
"Four!" He shouts, causing a few people to look
"Changbin, please lower your voice," Iseul warns.
"Our father had four fucking heart attacks and neither of you told me?" He spits. His lips pulled back to expose clenched teeth and eyes gazing intently at you and Iseul.
"I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you the first time it happened. I was alone and scared and I just wanted my big brother there but you were being a stubborn asshole dodging my calls.”
“You still had all this time to tell me.” He crosses his arm.
“Really? How? ‘Changbinnie oppa, can you pass me the potatoes? Oh, dad almost keeled over and died several times, each time more terrifying than the last by the way, while you live your best life in Seoul.’ You do remember that when you actually did start talking to me again you would immediately shut down any time I mentioned dad. Even if I was allowed to tell you, you wouldn’t have even given me the chance to do so.” Remembering where you are, you hold back screams of frustration and ignore the heat rising to your head.
“You’re smart, you should have found a way to make me listen."
"I was 16, Changbin. What did you want me to do? Take a bus to the city, track you down, and drag you back here myself?" Your fists ball in anger, nails digging into the palm of your hands.
"You could--"
"Okay, enough. We are in a hospital and the two of you are acting like children. Y/n, go sit with Seungmin and calm down. Changbin, outside," Iseul says, physically getting in between the two of you.
You roll your eyes off at your brother and stomp off towards Seungmin, who quietly envelops you in a hug. You watch as Iseul drags Changbin outside of the waiting room.
***
"Y/n, I don't think this is such a good idea," Seungmin whispers.
You've been in the hospital for a few hours. The hospital raised the one-person-in-the-room rule to two people because your father is doing slightly better. That and Changbin didn't want to go in alone and nearly threw a fit. Seungmin only came with you for comfort, not feeling entirely comfortable himself.
"I'm just checking something, relax." You brush off Seungmin as you grab your father's chart, flipping through it.
"You're not even a doctor, those charts are going to tell you much." He says, checking the door of the room.
"You and I both know that I'm just as smart, maybe even smarter, than some of the doctors here. And the charts will tell me enough. They might try to push to do the surgery tomorrow and my mom and Iseul are going to look to me for advice and I don't want to fuck up." You flip to the last page, finding the most recent results. You've been in the hospital for the last 8 hours and they've been taking tests every hour.
"I think you're just looking for a distraction so you don't lose your mind." Seungmin comes and takes the clipboard away from you and puts it back in its place.
"Maybe I am, but I can be productive while I distract myself."
"Yeah, but not this way. You're just going to stress yourself out more. C'mon, let's go back to the waiting room and get you a snack. Pretty sure your mom wanted to come back in here anyway." Seungmin squishes your cheeks and gives you a quick peck on the lips.
"What..the hell is going on here?" A small voice croaks.
You quickly turn around to find your father slowly trying to sit up. You run over to him to try to get him to lie back down. He should be asleep right now, the hospital gave him something to make him sleep. Sleep heals the body and they wanted his heart to be as strong as possible before the surgery.
"Dad, lay back down. You had a major heart attack, you should be resting." You say trying to settle him.
"Whose that?" He asks, gesturing to Seungmin.
"Oh, uh... I'm Kim Seungmin, sir. Third-year pre-law student at JYP University. I wish we met under better circumstances." Seungmin bows in respect while still hiding off in the corner.
"What is in your nose?" He asks, disregarding Seungmin. You completely forgot to flip your septum ring inside your nose. You were out with Seungmin earlier and with everything going on, it was the last thing you thought of.
"Dad, why don't we take a deep breath--"
"Is this what's going on at that school? You're getting D's in your courses because you're traipsing around with boys and putting holes in your face?" He says, his voice raising an octave.
"Seungmin, can you please give us some privacy?" You ask quietly. Seungmin freezes for a second before leaving the room.
"What has gotten into you?" Your father asks, trying to sit back up again. You press your lips as your eyes flash to the heart monitor, his heart rate slowly increasing.
"Dad, let's talk about this later. You shouldn't be getting upset right now." You gently push him back down again.
"I'm fine. You, on the other hand, are going around doing god knows what with god knows who in the city. I knew I shouldn't have let you live with your brother."
"Changbin has nothing to do with this."
"There you go again, dropping honorifics. You even did that with that, that boy who was just in here who I have no doubt is older than you."
"Dad, please calm down. This conversation can wait, really."
"You are supposed to be the smart one. The one who makes good decisions. And now you're no better than your brother. You always followed him around everywhere but I never thought you'd turn out like him. I should have sent you to live with Iseul. At least she would been a better influence."
"Dad, your heart--"
"You're worried about my heart? You are causing my heart stress by being a disappointment. Go home if you're so worried. Give me and my heart a break."
You swallow the lump in your throat and leave, not wanting to make your father upset your father further. A nurse rushes into the room just as you leave. You wipe the tears with the back of your hand as you walk back to the part of the waiting room where your family is waiting. Your mother and Changbin are nowhere to be seen. You wordlessly grab your backpack and your jacket and throw them on.
"Seungmin, can you take me home?" You whisper. He nods silently as he gathers his things.
"What's going on?" Iseul asks, watching in confusion as both you and Seungmin gather your things.
"Dad's awake," You mumble to your sister, rubbing your face in exhaustion.
"Min told me, but why are you leaving?" She looks up at you, even more confused.
"I'm just respecting his wishes and leaving." You say flatly, leaving your sister in a confused stupor.
***
Thump
You wake up at the sound of a random noise in your apartment. You feel Seungmin's grip around your waist tighten at the noise. You look at the clock in the corner of your room.
5:32 am
You groan and turn around to face Seungmin. Chan must have dropped something on his way back in from work. Or maybe Jisung tripped on his way back to his room.
It was pretty late when you got home from the hospital. Exhausted by the day's events, you took a hot shower and immediately went to bed. Seungmin didn't like the idea of leaving you alone and was determined to spend the night just in case you needed him. A small gesture you were grateful for because you did need him. Your father's words replayed in your head as you made your way home. Sure, he's been mad at you before, but he's never called you a disappointment. You've spent years busting your ass trying to please him and all it took was one bad grade, a boyfriend, and some jewelry for him to shit on all your hard work.
Squeak
Your ears perk up at the sound of your bedroom door being opened. You meant to do something about the squeaky door months ago, but it was almost like a bell for sneak attacks from your roommates.
"Agi oli? Are you awake?" You head Changbin whisper. His voice close.
You turn back around, causing Seungmin to groan in his sleep. Your constant moving waking him up.
"I am now," You mumble. You two were on speaking terms, he bought you a canned coffee while you were at the hospital to silently apologize.
You sit up, reaching to turn on the light. Changbin's hand reaches out to stop you.
"Don't turn on the light," He whispers.
"Why are you home? Why aren't you back at the hospital?" You whisper, rubbing your eyes.
"He's gone," He chokes out.
Everything in the room stills. You feel Seungmin sit up from beside you, hand on your shoulder as you lay there for a second. Maybe you're still dreaming. Maybe you're having a nightmare. Your heart pounds in your chest and your blood turns cold as neither Seungmin nor Changbin says anything.
"W-what?" You sputter out.
"Y/n, dad's gone," Changbin says a little louder. You quickly sit up and turn the light on despite Changbin's protest.
The light flips on and you're face to face with Changbin. His eyes are bloodshot, large, and brimmed with tears. His face is red and puffy, the corner of his lips pulled down, shaking as he tried to stop the overwhelming emotion.
You get up from the bed, no real purpose to your actions. You walk around, fiddling with random things on your desk, not even fully present in your own mind. This can't be happening.
"Y/n--" Seungmin starts, getting off the bed to comfort you. Changbin, who is kneeling by your bed, drops his head in his hands.
"No, don't!" You yell quietly, taking a step back.
"Y/n, it's okay. I'm here," Seungmin approaches you slowly, arms stretched out.
Your chest feels hollow and tight all at the same time. It feels like a fist is slowly closing over your heart, nausea churning your stomach.
"He woke up, he was going to be fine." Your voice trembles. Seungmin quickly wraps his arms around you as your knees collapse under you. Both of you fall to the floor, Seungmin holding you tighter as a choked sob escapes your throat. You gasped between cries, barely able to catch the breath needed for the next as Seungmin rubs soothing circles in your back.
You don't hear the door open as Chan, who had just come home, poked his head into your room to hear what the commotion was. He quickly takes in the scene and goes to comfort Changbin, understanding what happened. A few minutes later, Felix and Jisung make their way into your room. Your crying concerned Jisung, who woke up Felix and convinced him to go with him to check it out. Not entirely sure what is going on, not being fully awake themselves, both of them spring into action trying to help Seungmin and Chan console you and Changbin.
—
Buy me a coffee?
#feelbokkie writes#ephemeral love smau#stray kids#skz#stray kids smau#skz smau#chan#bangchan#bang chan#lee know#minho#lee minho#changbin#seo changbin#seungmin smau#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#han#jisung#han jisung#felix#yongbok#lee felix#lee yongbok#lee felix yongbok#seungmin#kim seungmin#i.n#jeongin
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Another random thought: Sparky and I have done a few of these, but I would love to see your take on the VK/AK kids meeting the Class of Heroes/Villainy gang, who are essentially alternate versions of their parents.
Roselle: *Squishing Ben's face* JULEKA! LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS! Don't you just wanna hug him?!
Julebeast: Sweetie, let him breathe... But, I agree, he is so fucking adorable.
Ben: Aw, thanks... This is gonna sound weird, but you remind me a lot of my parents.
Roselle: Well, as your stand-in parents for today-
Ben: I never agreed to that.
Roselle: We are going to tell you how your relationship with Mal is built upon lies.
-
Mireides/Juleficent: *Staring at Mal* ...
Mal: ...
Mireides: Let's uh... Let's never speak of this again.
Juleficent: That is completely fine with me.
Mal: Same.
-
King Marc: Well, I must say, your makeup work is resplendent. Your Prince is a lucky man.
Evie: Well, actually, I'm dating Dopey's son, Doug.
King Marc: ... You're joking, right?
Evie: No. He likes me for who I am and sees me for things other than my beauty.
King Marc: ... I don't understand the words you are saying. Does he see you for your vast riches?
Evie: No.
King Marc: Your royal status.
Evie: No! That's so shallow. He sees me for my intellect and my goal to become a successful fashion designer.
King Marc: ... Have you hit your head, dear?
-
Sleeping Nath: Look, I probably would have done the same.
Audrey: Really?
Sleeping Nath: Of course. Who wouldn't become a badass spell-caster with a just as badass song, and try to get revenge on the person who stole your significant other? And let me just say, you deserve so much better.
Audrey: Aaw! Thank you.
Sleeping Nath: No prob... *Falls asleep on the grass*
Audrey: ... I... Anyone?!... He just collapsed!
-
Gil: Dude! How much you bench?!
Kimton: How much does an oven weigh?
Gil: Awesome! You know, it's weird, you look a lot like my old man, down to the colors, and- Oh! Hey, babe!
Kimton: You've got a girlfriend?
Gil: Actually... *Harry makes his way over and kisses him on the cheek*
Harry: Hey, love. *Notices Kimton* Who's the musclehead?
Kimton: ...
Captain Reshma: I know, it's weird. But, queer pirates. * Taps Harry's hook with her own*
-
Uma: *Gripping on one Mylensula's tentacles* I'll ask again. Who's the most badass of the seven seas?
Mylensula: You are! Just let them go!
-
Darcy: *Putting Ivan Oogie in a headlock* I'll ask ya one more time, ya ant-stuffed potato sack! Who's the true scare master! HUH?!
Ivan Oogie: *Screaming* YOUR DAD!
Darcy: Yeah, that's right, he is! Don't YOU forget it!
-
Doctor Cabello: I've gotta say, sugar, your taste in fashion is impeccable.
Celia: Hey, you're not so bad yourself. Your shadow's got some spunk to it, though. But, I've gotta know, why are you dating that holy roller?
Doctor Cabello: I like to see him get all worked up whenever I "sin."
Celia: Okay, valid.
-
Zoé: You, uh... You really live up to your name.
Chad: What's that supposed to mean?
Zoé: Oh, nothing.
-
Carlos: JAY! HIDE ME! *Hides behind Jay while he's talking to Jafadrien*
Jafadrien: Wow. Rude much?
Jay: Bud, what's going on?
Carlos: I'm being chased by an evil, malevolent creature!
Jafadrien: *Looks to where he's pointing* That'sss jussst Mari. And she'sss more sssadissstic than malevolent, but you're on the right track.
Jay: Whoa, she looks like your mom.
Carlos: That's why I'm running!
-
Fairy GodBro: So, you're this world's version of me.
Fairy GodMother: You bippidi boppidi better believe it!
Fairy GodBro: Oh my gosh! You do that too?! Does it annoy everyone else?
Fairy GodMother: It's why I keep saying it.
Fairy GodBro: Oh, you and I are gonna have some fun.
@imsparky2002 @msweebyness
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#class of heroes#class of villainy#mlb ocs#mlb au#mirrorverse#answered ask#ask me stuff#descendants
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A Mobility Aid Realization
Now that I have gotten to a point where I can personally, without any help, put my wheelchair in and out of the car I think my wheelchair fully feels like it is apart of my body. This is the first day I think I truly felt this emotion. I'm still recovering from the spine inflammation but today was the first day I have left the house since the hospital stay.
I took my chair out of the car. It disassembles and I basically developed a way to put it in the trunk with my abilities. Then after the long day my spine was kicking me in the butt with pain BUT despite that pain when the valet worker was offering to help me with my wheelchair (since its a hospital and he probably puts mobility aids in and out of cars constantly) I had this internal visceral reaction of just "no touchy my chair, don't mess up my process, go away." He was genuinely so concerned, as if he thought I said no because I didn't want to inconvenience him. My step dad who was with me said to him "trust me she does it entirely herself I'm just here to hold things" (he was holding my cup and cane). The valet worker of course didn't insist but he seemed so genuinely concerned. I just absolutely fucking hate the idea of someone else handling my wheelchair now....... its become physically apart of me.
Unless I really need the help just let me do it. For example, ramps that are definitely too steep to be ADA compliant I need help with. But even then, don't help me until I have given you the green light. A family friend who use to push his elderly mom around in her wheelchair tried to help me with my breaks, wheelchair bag, and touching my handle bars before I was all settled— because it was all second nature to him. My mom said "No no, trust me, don't interfere yet I learned that the hard way." I'd tell her no, very angrily, every time she touched my handle bars and my bag until she got use to the fact I didn't want help. She also constantly helped people with their wheelchairs as a nurse as well as her elderly mom in a wheelchair, so it was second nature for her to take control also..... until I like metaphorically trained her out of it by being grumpy at her. She will hold my arm rests though until I have found a way to carry them myself while rolling. Still, her warning to the person helping me had the exact same vibe as my step father's "Trust me, I'm just here to hold things"
It is almost like how a person gets their clothes on by themselves, I don't want help. Again, unless I actually need it from a nurse or my mom (...thank you spine /sarcasm) which I'd be grateful for but if I don't need the help then please let me get dressed myself. That type of deal.
Also today I had to walk a few steps back and forth, for a spine doctor evaluation today and I didn't have my cane. I was wearing sneakers so I couldn't shuffle feet and of course I don't know the layout of walls and counters in that office like I do in my own home via muscle memory. He stayed very close to me for my safety and I used a wall for guidance but even with that....holy fuck roughly 10 steps (5 forward 5 back) without my cane was a big fucking no-no. I did not like it AT ALL. A big ol' nopeville.
Until today I didn't realize just how much muscle memory of my home's layout (which is TINY) helps me with using my cane a bit less inside, its not because my legs are magically better like I thought they were. So... my cane really is just apart of me now too. I'm more okay with someone holding it for me if I ask because its better than the cane falling. But don't collapse it yourself, I'll do that, and don't you dare take it out of my reach.
I remember being taught about service dogs one day at a summer camp as a kid and the woman said "would you like to meet my legs" when introducing her dog.
I don't think this is something a non-mobility aid user can fully understand at an emotional level. Touching my mobility aids really is like touching me. Its so much more than just objects I own.
-Not audio proof read | written June 21 2023-
-my pronouns are they/them but I haven't asked that of my family-
#mobility aid#wheelchair#cane#cpunk#cripple punk#my whacky life#i dont know why im rambling about this
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pauuuuuuuuu i’ve got a question. i understand that you enjoy supernatural, so could you explain to me the whole destial thing? i’m like, fairly close to caving and committing myself to 15 fucking seasons of them and dean from gilmore girls (who i fucking hate(the character not the actor)) so like, i wanna know what i’m getting myself into, cause the only stuff i know is the meme that’s always going around, and that everyone and their mother is obsessed with dean winchester
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD @weeping-in-the-willows WE'VE DONE IT!!!
okay andi here we go its gonna be LONG (thats what she said?)
Destiel is a ship between two main characters, Dean Winchester, who is a monster hunter, and Castiel, who is an angel of the lord. Although Cas does not appear until season 4(?), when he does it's clear there's something going on between the two men (boys?), and, whether or not it's intentional, there's a LOT of gay subtext. I think they suffer a lot but it's worth it for the very few moments they get to enjoy, and you value them so much more which makes it so enjoyable.
As for Sam Winchester (Dean Forester), he's a young man with daddy issues who never met his mom and decided that instead of having that horrible monster hunter life he wanted to go to Stanford and study law and have a great academically successful life (Sam and Rory Gilmore would be best friends). He's a sweet, kind, smart, driven, ambitious (and hot) 22(!) year-old who would never voluntarily hurt a fly. Obviously life had other plans for him but what happens to him is up to you. Now, I will say that I'm not the biggest mid-series seasons Sam fan, but I think early Sam was one of my first fictional crushes and I still think of him fondly. His favorite singer is secretly Celine Dion.
Dean Winchester also has daddy issues but as in yes-dad-I'll-do-everything-you-say-so-that-you-love me-while-his-dad-still-loves-sam-more daddy issues (which I know all too well not not the time nor place), whereas Sam was more like "No dad, this is YOUR dream". Dean is like that jackass who thinks he's this huge deal and he think he's really hot and smart and always right, which is infuriating because it's true. But really imagine a giant teddy bear with a flannel. that's Dean Winchester. It's a bit funny but for him the most important thing ever is his family and he will fight with all his might to save it, blood or found, he will die for them over and over again with no regrets, except that one where his daug we don't talk about that. He's also incredibly funny, he likes Frozen and dad rock and pie.
Cas is an angel who very often forgets that. Funny thing about this guy is that they first portray him as like this scary creature, he's the most powerful thing they've ever faced and he's so intimidating but once they get to know him he's really just like if an alien saw a hot guy and went "that one". He talks to cats sometimes.
About the show itself, the firsts seasons they think they're like this moody, serious show, but as it goes on it quickly turns into a comedy. They meet Scooby-Doo once. There's a musical. Doctor Sexy wears cowboy boots. Dracula. Ghostfacers!
Now, I wouldn't go as far as "recommending" it to someone, but if i could start clean and had the choice to watch it again for the first time, I'd tell them put me back in it, and I would cry and curse and suffer, but I'd go through it again.
And that is all, unless Willow wants to add something?
Also I would avoid the last episode, I would not watch it if I were you, I wish I never saw it and I pretend it doesn't exist, it is not canon if I say it is not and I refuse to recognize it as such. Thank you.
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tw phobia exploitation (electrocution + mental hospitals), sensory deprivation, pet whump, nonhuman whumper, whumper turned whumpee, humiliation
"It was fun while it lasted, Chewtoy. Unfortunately, I have other matters to attend to."
Seth thought he could handle sensory deprivation. That it'd be child's play – leaps better than having to listen to Anton.
He was tied by the wrists, secured to the hook on the ceiling. Not too high up, he could still stand normally. Anton was planning on leaving him for a good while, then. A blindfold went over their eyes, and a gag in their mouth.
"Oh, yeah, forgot to mention this," he started when Seth was already unable to talk back, "but I made sure your collar would go off at random times. Random intensity as well." Seth whimpered, desperately wanting to protest that development. "Have fun!"
The noise cancelling earphones were put in place, and that was it. Strung up like meat, left in total darkness and silence. The collar around their neck suddenly felt terribly heavy.
It didn't take long for the first shock to come, and it was harsh. Harsher than usual, meaner than Anton's warning shocks. He cried into the gag, unsure whether he'd made any noticeable noise to the outside world. God, he was already crying.
(mental hospital thoughts start)
The total lack of his senses made his mind run wild, and suddenly he wasn't at Anton's anymore. He was in one of those places, with the insane fucking nurses and the sadistic doctors that wanted nothing but to fry his brain until there was nothing left. Suddenly he wasn't a grown adult, 24 and counting – god, maybe it'd been years, who knew how old he was at this point – he was nothing but a scared child thrown away by his parents and left to suffer.
The bit in his mouth played into it, making perfect sense according to all those fucking documentaries. 'We can't have our patients biting through their own tongues.' They could feel tears soaking the blindfold, and they just couldn't stop thrashing and yanking on their hands so that maybe the rope would give.
Please. Please. Mom, please, I'll change, I promised I would, please. Dad? Tell her I'd change! Please!
Please don't leave me here!
The collar never left them much of a chance to compose themself, and they were breaking apart fast. His entire body was painfully tense, he was sobbing like a baby, and he couldn't shake the feeling that there were others in the room, touching, adjusting, scribbling notes and laughing. At one point he distantly realised he must've wet himself; he couldn't even bring himself to care.
The doctor would care. Disgusting. Broken. Faulty. In need of more fixing. More shocks. More time locked away and tortured. He was never getting out.
I'll change. I'll change. I'll change. I'll change.
Hours had passed. The sun was coming up, and Seth was still dangling by his wrists, exhausted and in agony. Anton had forgotten about letting him down, going to sleep as soon as he got home. It had been an entire day by the time he finally woke up and decided he wanted to feed. An entire day of misery, terror and pain.
Seth flinched when someone touched him, really touched him. It wasn't just his mind anymore, someone was removing the gag and the earphones and the-
"Oh, that's fucking gross."
They whimpered quietly. They were so sorry. So sorry. Please. They'll do better.
The person he saw wasn't a doctor, or a nurse, it was… his owner. And his owner looked absolutely disgusted.
"Go wash up, I'm not biting you like this. You look like shit." He let Seth crumple to the ground once he was out of his restraints, kicking him towards the bathroom. "Quickly, I'm starving."
Another shock bolted through his body, and Seth whined, desperately clawing at the stupid fucking thing. "Please take it off!" he cried, voice raspy from 24 hours of screaming into a gag. "Please, Master, I'll do anything, please!"
"Shut the fuck up, it's way too early for this." Anton grabbed him by the hair and unlocked the collar, tossing it aside. Seth needed to be able to clean his neck anyway if he wanted to feed. "Go."
The gratitude was unrivalled by anything Seth had ever felt in his life. He crawled to the bathroom faster than ever, throwing his clothes away and scrubbing himself entirely clean. Scrub scrub scrub scrub – maybe if he scrubbed hard enough, the entire experience would just leave his body and slide down the drain.
No. He didn't want that. He needed to remember so he could avoid it happening again. He needed to change, he needed to be good. His parents' approval was replaced by Anton's, and he scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, as quickly as possible, as thoroughly as possible, so he could go and be a good fucking bloodbag.
He was bleeding in some places by the time he got out, and it almost made him weep again. That was Anton's blood. He was wasting it. Anton was going to put the collar right back on because he was wasteful and bad and-
"For fuck's sake, Chewtoy, how much time are you going to spend in there?"
Seth grabbed a fresh set of clothes and put them on hastily, rushing out of the bathroom. He couldn't stop himself from flinching when Anton bit him, but the feeling of fangs sinking into his delicate flesh was way more comforting than… than that thing.
He stayed perfectly still while Anton was drinking, somewhere in the back of his mind hoping that he would forget entirely about his presence. That he'd just get chucked into the trash like an empty soda can when he was done, instead of having the collar put back on, instead of having to endure a single more day of this.
But when Anton was finally satisfied, his first move was to reach for the collar. Seth immediately scrambled to get away, even though his mind was screaming at him to stay still and good.
"Please no- please, please, I'll be g-good, I'll be good, I swear, please, please d-don't, please…"
"Stop being such a crybaby." Anton pointed to the floor, looking wholly unimpressed by the begging. Did he have a bad night yesterday? Seth didn't have anything to do with that – in fact, he'd had quite the shit night himself.
Still, he crawled back over, letting himself be collared even if he was sobbing the entire time.
He was never getting out.
~
taglist: @whumpsday @whump-queen @lost-in-labradorite-halls @hidden-dreamland @lonesome--hunter
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Her Song part 20
FIVE YEARS AGO
I walk through the halls of my childhood home with my head held down. I know that both of my parents are in the living room. I'm dreading this conversation, but I know I don't have a choice. This isn't just about me anymore.
I walk into the living room and they barely pay me any attention as I stand anxiously in front of the couch upon which they sit.
"Mom? Dad? We need to talk," I finally say, swallowing thickly as they gaze at me with anxious curiosity.
"About what?" my mom asks.
"A few weeks ago, s-something happened and I didn't know how to tell you, but Mark Lucas...he, um, he did...things to me. I've been feeling sick lately so I took a test and...I'm pregnant."
It's silent for a minute. I can see the anger swelling on my parents' faces. For just a flicker of a moment, I stupidly believe they're angry at Mark for what he's done to me.
"You had sex with Mark Lucas? God, Y/N, I thought we raised you better than this," my moms spits with disgust. "You're too young for this. And now you're knocked up. I'm calling the doctor in the morning and we're going to get rid of this mistake of yours as soon as possible."
My eyebrows furrow in confusion as tears well in my eyes. "What? Mom, I didn't have sex with him-"
"Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure that's how a girl gets pregnant. By whoring herself out to the star football player," my mom yells. The vein is popping out of her neck. My dad remains silent.
"No, you aren't listening to me," I sob. "I didn't have sex with him. He- he made me do it, Mom. Dad," I pleaded. "You have to believe me, please."
They stare at me in silence. My mother's face has been taken over by a foreign expression of disgust. My father clenches his jaw. I can't tell what he's thinking.
"Quit lying, Y/N. If you're old enough to have sex, then you're old enough to own up to your mistakes instead of blaming them on someone else. I mean, rape? Did you honestly think that you could get away with accusing the town's golden boy of rape? First I find out you're a slut and now I find out that you're just a fucking idiot," my mother mutters.
"Mom," my voice cracks, shaking my head in shock at her words. "I promise I didn't have sex with him. He made me. I don't even- I don't even like guys that way. I like girls. Mom, Dad, please, you have to believe me," I beg, my chest shaking with sobs.
My father scoffs. It's the first time he's really reacted, and my eyes are instantly glued to him to see what happens. "So first you're sleeping with jocks like a whore, then you're pregnant, and now you're a dyke? What the fuck are you trying to do, Y/N? You're going to tear this family apart," my father snaps.
"Pack your bags and get out," my mother instructs coldly.
"What?" I breathe.
"Pack your bags and get out. You're no longer welcome under my roof. I won't have you ruining my reputation in this town. If you figure out how to stop lying and repent for your sins, maybe we'll consider letting you come back," she finishes
I stand there, frozen in place. This can't be happening right now. I look to my dad for help, but his eyes look just as hateful. I spin on my heels and run up to my room to pack my bags.
I'm out of the house within twenty minutes. I get in my cheap 1982 Chevy and drive to the edge of town. Sitting on the tailgate, I watch as the sun slowly disappears behind the trees.
"I guess it's just you and me now, huh?" I whisper to the little life growing inside my belly. "But that's okay. We don't need those assholes. I'll take care of you, you little Satanist. I promise. I'll keep you safe."
PRESENT DAY
"Get the fuck out. I don't want you around my kid."
"What? Y/N, don't be ridiculous. I'm your father," he tries to convince me.
"Not anymore. I'm done. I already have all the family I need."
"My flight doesn't leave until Saturday," he scoffs.
"So stay at a hotel. It's gotta be easier than trying to find an apartment at 16," I snap. "Pack up and get out. You have fifteen minutes."
I head to Syd's room and close the door behind me, leaning against it and taking a deep breath.
"You didn't want me to know about my dad, did you?" Syd asks quietly. I sigh and sit on the floor next to her.
"I...It's complicated, honey. But no, I didn't plan on telling you about him. He wasn't a good person."
"Did you love him?"
"No. I didn't."
"Well, that's okay. We don't need him," she states. "As long as we have each other, we'll be okay."
"Yeah, we'll be just fine," I sniffle quietly. "I'll always take care of you, you little Satanist. I'll keep you safe."
"I'll keep you safe too, Momma. Is Grandpa going to leave?"
"Yeah, baby, he is. Are you upset?"
She hesitates, thinking it over. "No. He's fun, but he makes you sad, and I don't like when you're sad."
I let out a watery laugh, silent tears now flowing freely down my face. Syd notices and frowns, crawling into my lap. She wipes the tears off my cheeks and kisses my forehead, the same way I've always done it for her.
"Don't cry, Momma. We'll be okay."
"I love you, Sydney. You know that, right?"
"I know. I love you too, Momma."
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Got ahold of Step by Step episode 12. We needed 2 more episodes as usual with these series.
If you've not watched the show, please do. It's worth your time, even if you feel like you're wading thru the first few episodes. It's slow burn. This is not horny hours. This is really office hours.
Spoilers under the cut obvs.
Some meta. Mostly my opinions.
I wrote that paragraph before the Mildly Spicy Bed Makeout. I kind of enjoy that Jeng shooed Pat to the shower For Reasons. At least, I personally infer bottom reasons but that's just me. Still, I would have liked more spice à la Bed Friend, but I'm a thirsty ho.
I'll get this admission off my chest — I'm bummed that we got those really spicy kisses and that's as far as it went. KP and Domundi productions spoiled me, obviously. Did I want to see them fake fuck? Yeah. I'll admit it.
The scene where they were writing out then deleting their text messages was acted to perfection.
Hot take — Ben is the worst ugly crier. We love him anyway.
Jeng is a stalker, he needs to learn to go less hard. He also needed to resign like, 2 years earlier from the company. Good for him though. Dad is hot. Shame he's a homophobe.
I am super over people singing in the shows, no matter how good they are.
I love that Jeng's passion is cooking.
You can tell this is a real Thai show because when they show that green curry, it's real green curry even if it's store bought. It's hard to find good green curry paste over here unless you're in certain places.
Jeng's mom — what was the point of a 30 second meeting. Ben is so good at being nervous and young, he's really a great actor.
The chemistry is off the charts in this episode, good Christ. They obviously had fun shooting the cake scene.
Jeng better have a hell of a savings if he's returning all his shares to his dad and putting his hopes on his restaurant.
The restaurant biz is a bitch. I grew up in the restaurant business and the margins are razor thin, even in famous and successful restaurants. Hopefully, Pat's advertising firm is doing well.
Seriously, again. Needed another couple episodes. Especially with how Jeng's dad tossed his resignation letter.
I know Man said this would be his only BL, but I would really like to see them do another show together. They really got their shit together at the end and it's rare to see a couple that can have this kind of chemistry.
The age difference works really well between them, it's comfortable — which isn't there for a lot of decade+ couples — and there's a lot of plots where this could be used. So let's manifest that.
I have no idea what the fuck Man does for a living, so I'm not sure if he's even free to do another series. Dude has an econ degree, which means nothing (no offense econ folks, you guys are like Swiss army knives). I suspect he's a mini Mile Phakphum, and just sort of exists on the largess of his family and his modeling career.
I very much liked this series. It's definitely in my list of favorites. For me, it started out rocky because I didn't understand what it was trying to do. Looking back, now that I see what the aim is, the path it took is perfect.
Would I have liked more sex? Absolutely, but as I mentioned before — I'm a thirsty ho. These lads get paid more than I make as a clinical lab scientist, spending my day making your doctor look smart. A little bed shenanigans isn't too much to ask.
Alas, I can't complain too much. The kisses we got were A+, top-tier compared to nearly any other series. The physical stuff we did get was also A+. Truly, my complaints are mostly unfounded. We could have ended up with Korean level bullshit.
I'm not going to bother with meta about the story because there's users here that are far better at articulating exactly what I want to say, so troll the tag for them.
#step by step episode 12#step by step series#step by step#man trisanu#ben bunyapol#jeng x pat#jeng kittiphong#pat phakphum#Loved it
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What a week.
TW: Suicide discussion ahead. Please be kind to yourself and don't read if you're not in the headspace for it.
A family friend passed away this week. I first learned about it a couple of days ago. Her name was Emily, and she was a lawyer. Damn fine one too. She and I weren't especially close, but I'd ask her legal questions on occasion, stuff like "Hey, how does founding an LLC work?" or "Hey, I just learned about this really cool business idea, can you point me to someone who can help me work out what I'd need to do for it?" It was professional, and I didn't know that much about her.
What I do know is that she suffered from chronic pain, and didn't have any tools to effectively manage it. The stuff that deadened the pain's addictive, and with doctors basically not prescribing opiates at all if they can help it, she was left in the lurch. Eventually it became too much to bear, and she just couldn't do it anymore.
She leaves behind a husband and children, whom are all kind and gentle folk. I recall meeting her partner at a baseball game with my dad once, he was a swell guy. Shook my hand firmly and made jokes about an ex-con marrying his lawyer. She just gave him a withering look, said "Don't be an ass, I don't even practice criminal law!" and we all laughed.
The pain overtook her, and it's hard to blame her.
I mean, can you imagine? Body aching all the time, no reprieve except when you're asleep? Doctors telling you you're engaging in drug seeking behavior simply because you'd like to have one good fucking day, just one?
My wife lives that life too. She's constantly in pain, her body fighting her at any given moment simply for the sin of having been born to parents who ardently refused to have her medical issues treated when she was a child, her dad and stepmom chiding her doctors when they said "She has a hormone imbalance brought on by precocious puberty".
"Oh she doesn't have anything wrong with her, she's just lazy and fat."
I'm digressing from what I wanted to talk about, sorry. That woman's been through a lot, and it's so hard not to get mad about it. Especially right now. I worry so much about her pain levels that I keep her supplied in marijuana and do everything about the house to the best of my abilities just to limit it as much as I can.
And while that's the worst thing that happened this week, I can't really say the rest was good. I mean, in comparison to suicide, sure I guess, but you know.
It's fucking weird when one finds out that your mom didn't actually want to be polyamorous again.
Oh yeah, my folks were poly in 2019, and that blew up massively in their faces for reasons that are not mine to share.
Anyway, I came to find out that my dad lied to my mom about how he met his girlfriend, Sarah. He said he met her on Reddit, but had lied about taking his dating profile down. He takes phone calls from Sarah every night at 5:00, when he's supposed to shut his office down and stop ignoring my mom for the day.
My mom has no desire to meet Sarah. Says "I can't, I'll hate her, and she hasn't even done anything wrong. I don't want to meet her."
As a polyamorous person in a monogamous relationship, there is a right way to do this, and a wrong one, and FUCK is the wrong one lying to your partner about it. I mean shit, I did that three fucking years ago! And while I would absolutely state that my behavior three years ago was of a significantly different (read harsh, mean, unkind, abusive), it started this way. With a lie.
Sure he came clean, but there's nothing that can be trusted about this relationship now.
So I finish talking to my mom about this because I have other shit to do and being angry at my dad for yet another reason isn't doing me much good. She closes out with this:
"Thank you for caring about me and having my back and being my amazing and wonderful son."
To wit I said "Well it's not like I can be anyone else, right? :P"
And completely unprompted, she says "Well you could be my amazing and wonderful 'child' instead of my son and you would still be the same as far as I'm concerned. I would still love you just as much. You're one of my favorite people."
For those who aren't good at speaking white suburban mom, this translates to "I would still love you if you were trans."
What? I'm still confused by this. About once a year, I sit down and take a mental inventory, you know, see who I was this last year, and compare that to who I want to be. That includes taking stock of my gender identity. That part of the process generally amounts to "Am I comfortable in my body? Yes? Good.", but if it were different then that's fine too.
Like, I'm not GNC, I'm not genderqueer, I'm just queer.
Apparently, because trans folks often use this term to refer to themselves, my mom had simply assumed that I was among that crowd.
Again, what? What a fucking leap of logic, mom! Well, at least we know you're an ally.
And also, I'm honestly crossing my fingers with the hope that you'll divorce dad. I love the two of you, but fuck are you awful for each other.
What else happened this week? Hell, I can't remember. Wednesday was weird, but I think I already talked about it previously. That shit with Ruth was a hell of a thing. I told my wife that I'm not going to any family events that Ruth is gonna be at unless my nieces are there. Then I'll just ignore Ruth and play with the kids. They fuckin love me. Hattie, my oldest niece, makes fun of me for "Talking too big" when she brings up God. They don't like Ruth either.
This is already getting kinda long, and I've got work to do, so I guess I'll update some other time.
Please be kind to yourselves.
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I'm watching fnaf through perfectly legal means, and I kinda want to liveblog it, but I also don't want to have to put a spoiler warning while doing it, so I'm just gonna talk under a readmore and put the whole thing in a single post
This is probably be the first blood already. I wonder if that's phone guy
Is it too early for someone to say it's bite of 87ing time and bite of 87 all over the place?
I wonder if they got actual children to draw the children's drawings
Holy shit an opening credits scene I haven't seen one of those since I took my dad to watch James Bond no time to die
Ooh that guy was reading a book on game theory I wonder if that's an easter egg to nod at MattPat
Oh that's Mike!
My mistake it's a book on Dream Theory. I think that was an easter egg too though, there was a theory that fnaf 4 was just a nightmare for a while
Well someone is in trouble
Ok the game Michael chased the job on purpose to hunt find his brother's soul, so this is already a pretty big departure from the source
I wonder if that Abby is gonna end up becoming puppet. It would be tragic, but better than the crying child
Is he trying to lucid dream?
Nope
I wonder if this Michael's dad is not gonna be the William Afton of the games
Wow this Jane is a massive bitch
Oh that Steve guy must be the new phone guy
Ngl I might have studied the games lore a little too intensely
Well that's omnious why was there a tape with his name on
Aw fuck the first jumpscare got me
No no no no get back to the room
This guy thinks he's Gregory to wander around and face the animatronics
There they are
Oh great it's still haunted haunted
Did that kid trip at the same time he did? Does this mean anything?
Matthew Patrick!!!!
HE SAID IT!
Oh what a traitor
Poor Doug free him he's trying very very hard to not do anything
Dude wake up you need to witness this
Oh the it's me in the mirror. And Foxy or whatever
Vanessa? What the heck is she doing here? Well as long as she stays away from bunnies ot should be fine
Vanessa tgat is not what you had just said but I'll forgive it because we're finally getting some animatronic action
Her lack of professionalism broke the animatronics. Freddy says if she's legally untouchable she's morally unfuckable
Wait if the place gets trashed out of his shift thats not his problem. Plus he had a witness of how things were when he left
Ok this deaths are pretty goofy but it's a pg13 movie so I guess they have to be
Chica and Bonnie were somehow so cunty when they looked at the camera after sending the cupcake like yas girlies
Wait I just remembered this is happening during the day. Are this animatronics opposite to the game? Peaceful at night and hostile during day?
Girl you went there to commit a crime don't follow the child
WhAs tHAt ThE BIte oF 87?!!!
Oh right Mike's family drama I almost forgot
Well at least it seems this Mike still likes cartoons
Is she... giving him a chance to speak? Maybe she's not as much of a cop as I thought
Oh so he was trying to repeat that dream
Maybe William was kidnapping kids to save the mom instead of the crying child (I forgot his name)
No do not take the child to the job you fool
Well the children are already possessing the animatronics so there must already be a Puppet
That fucking Baloon Boy again
No girl stop do not aproach animatronics
At least he understood it fast
Do not say that to a ghost you idiot
Awww this scene was cute.
Ooh the thick plotens
Abby is such a child "I've been talking with ghosts all this time, can I have some soup?"
Vanessa acts like she has genre awareness and she's trying really hard to keep it lighthearted
Shit don't tell me that's Circus Baby we do not need her in this story
Vanessa did it ever occur to you that people might do what you want if you just tell them whats going on
Idk who that pharmaceus farmastist doofrsmith doctor degree was but I'm pretty sure it was a cameo
You can't really say "they're gone" to a bunch of ghosts
Wow the ghosts are also a bunch of assholes
Did Abby stay in her room all day? She must be starving.
Oh no... look back Jane... oh well
Dude don't take an unnacompained child
Vanessa what are you doing here. This ain't cute anymore
Oh!
Dude stop rizzing up the exposition dump go do something
I wonder if we'll get beakless Chica. Just once. Just for me
No do not go in the ball pit it's not worth it
Springtrap!
Holy shit he's still alive inside the costume?
🥳officer down🥳
Oh this is a nice slow and painful death
I wonder if in the end we're gonna find out that Garret is Puppet. Unless that suit they tried to put Abby in was Puppet
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Broken Tom Holland x Reader
Chapter 3: Diagnosis
jtlyk there are gonna have a flashback through out the story :)
Warning: swearing
Plot: Y/n and Tom were made for each other and have been married for nearly 10 years but what happens when they go through putrid rough patch?
Summary: Y/n goes to the doctor (flashback)
AUTHOR'S POV
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have spoken to you like that" you said trying to calm your nerves from your sudden outburst, but he was making this so fucking hard. You had absolutely every right to be livid at him, he made you move from your comfortable lodge to the apartment near the studio. It wasn't bad but the fact that you spent almost all of the 3 months alone, isolated, made your blood boil, especially in your condition.
"No. No your right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel this way. I'm sorry that you are alone and I'm sorry that I spend way too much time at work. I'm sorry for everything. If I could go back in time and redo everything I would. But we can't. So from now on I will try my best to be at home. I'll try my best to treat you like the queen you are. Because you are my queen."
You were stunned. You didn't know how Tom would react but you definitely didn't expect him to react like...that. Moreover you were happy. You knew that he meant what he said. You knew he would try his best. You also knew that if you told him your secret now, everything would be ruined. But you knew you had to tell him. You knew that this wasn't going to go away anytime soon. This was something serious and the only way to get through this would be if you had Tom there to support you.
*Time skip*
AUTHORS POV
You and Tom went back to the loft happy and content about the progress that you had made with your relationship. Atleast that's what it seemed to him. He didn't know but you were slowly and painfully dying. You were a relatively active person. You had played volleyball in high-school and college. Even though you were very good at the sport you never pursued it as a career. So when you noticed the lack of energy you had, and how it had become painful to do your everyday exercise activities, you instantly knew something was wrong. You brushed it off at the beginning thinking it was the amount of stress you had or the lonleyness, but after a few days of not being able to move due to how swollen your knees and ankles were, you booked a doctors appointment. You had many tests done and even had a few MRI's done.
FLASHBACK
Y/N'S POV
I was sitting in the doctor's office, highly nervous and it was clearly visible. Despite the pain, my knees kept bounding up and down. I was worried, I didn't know what was going to happen. The one person I really needed right now was at work. Tom. It had always been Tom. He was there when I got the phone call from the hospital, saying that my mom was in the hospital. As soon as I had gotten that phone call I broke down. Tom was there for me. He was there for me when my mom died. He was there for me after my dad committed suicide. But where was he now? He sure as hell wasn't here. My doctor entered the room with a gloomy and disappointment expression.
AUTHORS POV
The doctor sighed, disappointed in the results of the MRI.
"Mrs. Holland, I'm sorry but the MRI has shown you have a cancerous tumor in your bone marrow. Normally a person who is diagnosed with bone cancer has the life expectancy of five years, but the tumor you have has slowly been progressing throughout your body. I'm surprised we weren't able to notice it before, but you have approximately 9 months left to live. It could be more it could be less, but at the rate your cancer is spreading it will be around 9 months."
Y/N POV
I was speechless. I had just found out that I had a cancerous tumor in my bone marrow. I. Had. Fucking. Cancer.
"Is there a cure?" I said while trying to do a million things in my head. I need to tell tom. I need to tell Nicki and Dom. I need to tell my friends. I have to get the funeral planned. I gotta do this I gotta do that. My brain was going 175 miles per minute.
"Fortunatley there is, we can do chemotherapy or we can do the medical procedures to separate the maintining tumor from your bones. Although the chemotherapy would take longer it is the most efficient. It is costly but your insurance should be able to pay for it. Try not to be stressed during the next fue months. The chemotherapy has a 35% chance of killing all of the cancer. Now as you can see there is a very low probability so I suggest you get your affairs in order just in case it doesn't work" the way the doctor gave me hope and then demolished it with the probability of chemo helping me out was so heartbreaking. I knew that if the cancer did end up killing me I needed to tell Tom but how? He was never home. I need to tell him.
END OF FLASHBACK
AH AH AH tehe please don't hate me this might seem a bit cliche or cringe but nevertheless this chapter was a fucking emotional load. It took me a lot of time to decide what type of cancer Y/n would have but in the end I decided on bone cancer bc my best friend died of bone cancer and I thought why not? Anyways ANY feedback is appreciated!
Have a Good Day or Night Wherever You Are! <3
#tom holland#y/n y/l/n#tom holland x reader#y/n#cancer#bone cancer#diagnosed#chemo#bestfriend#bfff#rest in piece#Tommy baby
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Mom signed Bethy up for a like bajillion free backpack programs this month because she starts school in August. So Bethy got one bag yesterday and tomorrow she'll get 2 more from different places. All of them filled with school supplies. She's signed up for like another two next week cuz we can't afford to get her school supplies or even get her new uniforms that would fit her.
So Bethy goes back to school in a couple weeks. We're being kicked out of the motel on the 31st and have nowhere to go. Mom's bank account is bounced so terribly she's nearing $1K in fees caused by a certain someone being a dumbass. When her next check comes in, the bank is going to take all of it(and it still won't even be enough to pay off all the fees) which means we'll have nothing for the storage units which are over $600 in debt by now. And we can't afford to miss more payments.
We have to rely on food stamps and food banks outside of my Ko-Fi earnings which usually gets us gas and food when we're out of other options. Mom's food stamps are on the line because we don't live in a house anymore. We're just waiting for the bad news on losing them. Also, she gets waaaaay less in Delaware than she did in Pennsylvania even though DE allows more options I guess?
We have money for gas tomorrow because I've gotten 3 Novella commissions and am writing my ass off for them! I can't plan for anything beyond that though and I am sick and tired of hearing my step-dad whine about no food and no gas and no this and no that. It's not as if he's done anything to help us besides pretend to be interested in church to get people at Bethy's church to share our GoFundMe. They gave a few hundred like a month ago and it was used on the storage unit to buy us another month.
I'm also sick of him invalidating Bethy's pain. Her knee is still swollen from dislocation and she has to wear this elaborate brace for it. Her leg from the knee up is still suuuuper puffy and she has pain in her knee every time she moves it. She has to do all these exercises too just to strengthen her leg again. And yet this asshole is like, "I'll trade my pain for yours since you wanna whine so much." Like, bitch, she's a 15 year old and her knee was literally all the way to the side of her leg. The pain of it being put back in plus the subsequent pain thereafter isn't something she's used to. She's allowed to be annoyed.
But noooo, he has to turn everything into a fucking competition. My pity for his dumbass knee if long gone by now if y'all couldn't tell.
He failed his stupid diet he put himself on and no doctors will do the leg surgery he needs. He literally had to lose 60lbs and had 6 months to do it and still hasn't lost anything. But what he does do is waste money on shit he don't need and then whine about how he doesn't understand why he weighs the same.
Dude, you ate one salad and a peach once a week and then ate popcorn, pistachios, and chips every single night without fail. You wasted food stamps on shit you didn't need but are out here wondering why you won't lose weight. So no, he had one job and refused to do it. He walks on his injured leg all the time to do everything and has even tried swindling money for the dirt races out of people(so his leg is fine enough for frivolity, huh?) and had numerous chances to get swimming as a form of exercise. He chose not to.
My pity is gone. Boo hoo. I'm out here busting my ass and wrists to write 60,000 words just to get $45 and whatever tips I get on the side for the effort, and he sits there whining day in and day out.
Being homeless and trapped in an 8x8x10 room with 3 other people for months at a time is terrible. -10/10. Wouldn't recommend.
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Crazy but she's mine ch5
Tw : mentions of things said in the last chapter.
"Jackie wake up!" Illiana exclaimed shaking the girl awake.
"Oh my god your awake , the doctors said you were most likely stressed out or somthin' ." Jackie rushed out.
"I feel fine." Illiana said stretching.
"I- you know while you were out social workers came." Jackie started to say.
"What,what did they say!" Illiama stammered.
"Don't stress yourself out, they said you could stay with me,your so called foster parents were gonna put you bsck into the system,came to visit too,but I stepped up." Jackie said as Illiana hugged her.
----------
"Why are they here?,why is HE here?" Illiana questioned pointing a finger at the Mayans.
"Dios, niña, nos tenías asustados, Ez tuvo que evitar que Jackie se lanzara contra el obispo." Hank said to the girl.
(Christ kid you had us scared, Ez had to hold Jackie back from lunging at bishop)
"Why do you guys care." Illiana said with narrowed eyes.
"Cause we fucking do." Bishop stated.
"Fuck you asshole!" She exclaimed flipping the bird.
"Because your family,you AND Jackie,your bishops kid,
hate him for all we care,but you two are under our protection." Ez explained.
Bishop glared,it was his kid,he made the mistake of not being a decent dad,he knows he had no right to treat her like that , but to keep her safe,he had to push her away.
"What the hell do you mean "under your protection" , the hell did you do now!?" Jackie said with a growl.
"Illiana is the kid of a former king,the ex president of our charter,your my old lady,the other charters also know that Illiana lives with you,so to them she's my kid,the kid of an ex king and adopted by another." Ez said with a shrug.
"The hell do you mean adopted?" Illiana said lookking towards Jackie.
"They didn't think I could care for you alone , So Ez stepped up,the ass said he was my fiance." Jackie said.
"Ain't you an ex con that shot a cop?,also WHAT?!" Illiana said before snapping her head towards Jackie.
The group gave her strange looks.
"And yes! I did my research on you numbnuts,speaking of which, dude did you really
piss in a water fountain?" She said looking towards Creeper.
"I was drunk!" He defended himself.
"I had a friend who was more than willing to help,speaking of pack your shit,your living with me." Ez said not skipping a beat.
"The hell we are!,and don't you live in that shitty trailer?" Jackie said getting in his face.
"I got a house, not too big or small." He stated grabbing her arm,The group and the two girls walked outside,the boys getting on their motorcycles.
"Get on,Illiana can ride with Angel." Ez said hand her a helmet.
"Hell no!,Illiana don't you dare get on that ,you barely got released!" Jackie said with her best mom look,damn she sounded like her bitch of a mother.
"Please,im wearing a helmet!" Illiana begged.
"For fuc- Fine,fine you win." Jackie said snatching the helmet from Ez.
"Move,im not riding bitch." Jackie said.
"Get on the damn bike Camila,do you even know how to ride one of these." Ez said raising a brow.
"Im not riding bitch,and yes I know how, Ezekiel." Jackie said matching his energy.
"por que tienes que ser tan dificil chica?" Ez said as the others started riding off.
(why do you have to be so difficult girl)
"I don't know, why do you think you can control me?,I mean you tell everyone im your old lady,when are you gonna learn nothing is ever gonna happen betweeen us,I mean seriously." She scoffed getting on,His hands on her waist.
"Move those hands any higher,I'll push you off." Jackie muttered.
"Were did you learn to speak spanish?" He asked changing the topic,truth is she's so diffrent,than gabby,than sofia,than emily,it scares him.
"Stanford,on a scholorship,got kicked out for beating up a chick for talking shit,still a little rusty."
She explained starting to drive.
"I went to stanford too,killed a cop,ruined my chance,you know there was a fight now that I remember,but for some reason its unclear,which it strange for me." Ez said , his hands tracing shapes on her waist.
"Yeah your brother said you were smart,suprising, he also said you remember everything." Jackie said pulling up to the clubhouse.
---------------
"This is-how'd you afford this?, Ez this is- how much drugs did you sell,who'd you kill,oh my god!,you totally paid off your so called friend so we could adopt Illiana." Jacke rambled as the young teen ran around the house.
"It's awsome!" Illiana said hugging Ez and then rushing upstairs.
Well Jackie's not wrong , working in the drug trade with Soledad was a good pay.
"I have no Idea what your talking about." Ez said grabbing her hand.
"This is our room." Ez said as they entered the decent sized room,luckily it had two beds.
"Why do you have to stay in here." Jackie said raising a brow.
"Illiana needs her own space,Its only two bedrooms,plus there are two closets in here,one for you , and one for me,plus easier access to get to you and Illiana in case somthing happens." Ez said leaning against the wall.
"I-you,jesus im taking a nice - HEY! I was going in there!" Jackie exclaimed as Ez blocked off the restroom.
"I need to talk to you about somthing,Me and Angel found some of your old police reports,we read em'." Ez said as Jackie's face fell.
"You read my Police reports?!,you saw shit you shouldn't have!" Jackie said pushing him.
"Yes I was Abused,yes my step dad did shit to me,yes my ex pushed me down the stairs,what the hell do you want from me goddammit!,you help adopt a kid together,say we're engaged,said im your old lady!,why whats so special about me!?" Jackie said.
A kiss on her lips snapped her out of her rage as she fell to the floor, tears flowing,memories coming back.
"Hey,hey,shit!,im sorry I didn't mean to make you cry." Ez said cradling her in his arms.
"Shut the fuck up!,for once just shut up,why does every man think they can control me,why Ez!,how come you act so sweet and than get so dark,is it being the president of the gang?" Jackie cried.
"Club,and I can't say anything,but I liked you the moment you stepped into the clubhouse,i had to have you,you were so different." Ez explained feeling her hand grip his kutte.
"Im not yours to have,or own,or break,you want me?,fucking show me like a damn man and not a little boy wearing a crown too heavy for his head." Jackie said wiping her face.
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Tiktok: zaenighteditz
A03: zae_night
tumblr: zae-night
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Illiana is okay,Ez and Jackie kissed,their relationship is slowly getting there,Ez has to show her he isn't like all the men of her past.
also bishop is an ass, to him, pushing Illiana away is to keep her safe,but in reallity its stressful and painful for her because she just wanted a father.
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#fanfic#wattpad#original character#j.d pardo#ez reyes#jd pardo#mayans mc fic#ez reyes smut#ezreyesmayans#mayans fx#mayans mc fanfiction#mayans fanfic#emmy rossum#fiona gallagher#shameless#jenna ortega
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