#đ”I've got friends on the other sideđ”
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Before anyone else decides to leave this platform, (specifically moots/folks I like to bother sometimes with asks), if you wanna keep in contact, feel free to ask for my other socials! I've got Discord, Instagram, Snapchat, AO3, Twitter, etc, etc. and aside from our mutual interests here, I would love to keep being friends outside of Tumblr! I'd love to have more friends in general tbh, lmao.
Just know though, I have to know your age beforehand! Please have an age indicator in your blog somewhere or I will not be handing over my other social media for obvious reasons.
#aj talks#let's be friends#here and on the other side#cue the jazz music#đ”I've got friends on the other sideđ”
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He's A Real Mad Lad
Part 1 of Meant to Be: A Heartbreak High fanfic
Reader POV
Synopsis: You get called down to the gym because of the incest map. Cash finds out you like him, and he likes you too.
Warnings: Swearing, suggestive language, fluff, drug use, makeout, spicy
Song: WITHOUT YOU by The Kid Laroi
đ”â„ you cut out a piece of me and now i bleed eternally â„đ”
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ
"Will the following students please come to the gym." A loud voice said over the intercom. I stopped talking to Quinni and Darren and listened.
"Darren Rivers."
"Quinni Gallagher-Jones."
"Sasha So."
"Spencer (Spider) White."
"Amerie Wadia."
"Harper McLean."
"Y/N L/N."
"Douglas Piggott."
"Dusty Reid."
There were more, but I didn't listen. I rolled my eyes and collected my backpack, heading to the gym. Darren and Quinni were close behind me.
You might think I'm weird. My two best friends are part of the LGBT society. Darren is queer and non-binary. Quinni is lesbian and autistic. But, I loved them more than anyone I had ever loved before.
I am aromantic. I made out with Sasha once, and have done multiple other things.
The door gym slammed behind me, and I looked around. Many of the students called were already sitting down.
"Seriously, Y/N, why do you have to wear such scandalous outfits?" The teacher asked. I looked down at myself.
Today, I was wearing leather shorts that barely covered my ass, and a hot pink cropped tank top that showed quite a bit of cleavage.
"All for the aesthetic, miss." I say sweetly. I walk past Cash, who, was biting his lip and staring at me. I blush.
I've had a crush on Cash since year 7. He was funny, but isolated, and when you got to know him, he opened up to you.
"Hey, Cash." I say, taking a seat beside him. His eyes move away from my chest.
"H-hey!" He says quickly, his face turning a dark shade of red. Darren sits on my other side, and Quinni sits beside him.
"So. The incest map." The teacher said, pulling up a photo. I groaned. Now the whole school knew what I had done and who I had done. I glanced at all the names connected to mine.
Y/N
wristy to Dusty
blowie to Spider
made out with Sasha
shagged Darren
loves Cash
Ok. I did give a wristy to Dusty, and I did blow Spider. I made out with Sasha and I do love Cash. But I did NOT shag Darren! He is my best friend and I would never, ever do anything with him. He's like a brother to me.
Cash nudges me.
"What about that, bruh?" He says, gesturing to the map.
"What, cunt?" I say.
"You love me?" He asks, smirking. I flipped him off.
Yes, for fucks sake. Yes.
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ
"You got any weed?" I ask Cash as we step outside of the school.
"Yeah, hold on a second." He says. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a joint.
"Thanks." I say, lighting it.
"Yep." He responds. I take a puff, and he steals it from me, taking a puff as well. I groan.
"Now it has all of your cooties on it!" I whine playfully.
"Come on. If I kissed you you would like that, wouldn't you?" He teases. I cross my arms.
"Ooh, I hit a sensitive spot, didn't I, bruh?" He asks, poking your shoulder.
"Shut up and go back to drug dealing, you cunt." I say. He shuts up. I smirk.
"Ooh, hit a sensitive spot, didn't I, bruh?" I mock, shaking my head. He laughs.
"You want to come over for a bit?" He asks. I gulp. I've never been to his house before, and I wasn't sure I wanted to.
Fuck. Of course I did.
"Yeah, sure." I say.
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ
"What the fuck is that? Is it alive?" I screech, gesturing towards the goose beside Cash's bed.
"No, he's a full mad lad. He's sick, go pet him." Cash says. I look at him, expecting him to crack up laughing, but his face is dead serious.
"No, thanks." I say, walking in the opposite direction.
He sits down on his couch, and pats the empty spot next to him.
"So. This is a legitimate question, bruh." Cash says, looking at you in the eyes.
"Mhm." I squeak, getting lost (once again) in his chocolate brown eyes.
"Do you love me?" He asks.
"What?" I question.
"Do. You. Love. Me." He asks slowly. I don't respond. I have a vivid image of myself riding him on this couch.
Cash grabs my chin.
"Y/N!" He says abruptly. I snap out of my daydream.
"Y-yeah!" I say.
"So you do love me!" He says, throwing his arms up in triumph.
"What? No, I just-" I start. But I hated lying.
"Yes. Since year 7. I just didn't want to tell you because we're good friends, I didn't want to ruin what we had." I say, fidgeting with my thumbs and looking straight into my lap.
"Oh, bruh. My bunny. Come here." Cash says, pulling me into a hug.
I giggle. "You smell good."
He smiles.
"I like you too. But since year 3." Cash says, turning red again.
"Ha! Really, though?" I say serious. Cash nods. I blush, turning away. My phone buzzed. I pick it up.
MOMMA: come home, sweetheart, you need to babysit your little sister
You: on my way
"Sorry, Cash, I've got some babysitting to do, I guess." I sigh, standing up off of his couch.
"Yeah! No, no problem." He says, leading me to the door. I was half way down his steps when he called me.
"Y/N..." He says. I turn around, and the moment I do, his lips land on mine gently. He pulls away, hesitant to go further, but I wrap my arms around his head and pull him close, smashing my lips onto his again.
He drags me back into the house, guiding me into his room and pushing me onto the bed. He lifts off his shirt and climbs back on top of me, his lips attaching to mine in a passionate kiss.
I pull on his hair, and he groans into my mouth. He grinds his hips into me, and I whimper.
His tongue, finds its way into my mouth, and my hands trail over his abs and chest as our tongues fight for dominance.
The makeout lasted quite a few minutes, until his grandma came in.
"You slut! Come! I made you some bread!" She says. Cash jumps and looks behind him.
"Nan! Get out!" He says.
"Ooh la la! She's a pretty one!" His nan says. She leaves, and Cash faces me again, kissing me gently once more. I laugh.
"She's such a cute old lady." I say, lifting myself off of Cash's bed. He smiles, putting his shirt back on.
"Yeah. But not as cute as you." He says, winking.
God. He's such a dork.
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how 4 sets the scene for Blind Max
another reason I suspect she'll have a blindness arc continuing into/through 5 is that I've been thinking about how Max's season 4, from its very first to very last second, lays groundwork de-prioritizing sense of sight for her and often shifting importance onto hearing.
on the surface, this is all just aspects of her depression/curse experience this season, but it all has the side effect of helping prepare her for blindness.
let's go:
do you wanna hear about the deal that I'm making? đ”
Max's s4 begins with her shutting out the world around her to focus on her music all the time,
and that's before it's revealed to be a very literal lifeline. the special power of music here places enormous importance on sense of hearing (which has also benefitted Will, Victor, and the other Pennhurst inmates)
(deaf Vecna victim: "guess I'll die")
Lucas's basketball game
Max not wanting to attend the game was about not wanting to be seen by Lucas, rather than not wanting to see Lucas. she has no problem seeing Lucas - check out those heart eyes at the pep rally but only when he isn't looking.
she doesn't not care about him. she's just hiding from him.
so they could easily have established Max secretly caring via a scene where she does attend, watching but staying out of sight. maybe it turns out she refused his ticket because she actually already had one. or maybe she gets a ride from Eddie and gets to the gym and reaches for a door handle and hesitates and goes home instead.
instead they chose for her to keep tabs on Lucas without seeing the game at all, by listening instead. (looked upon by a poster with giant eyes lol)
not only tasty as a foreshadow, but a great little touch to set up Max knowing that her connection/enjoyment of her friends and awareness of what's going on doesn't depend solely on her ability to see.
bonus: her only line in that scene? "alright, I hear you" (because that dog barks)
shutting her eyes
Vecna doesn't blind his victims (well. not at the beginning) but instead forces visions upon them, so instead of their actual surroundings they see horrifying things, both literally and in a depression-metaphor way.
anyway, how does Max escape Vecna in DB? she shuts her eyes to the darkness he's forcing her to see, and focuses on the light - the love of her friends - which she knows to be the truth.
that worked the first time, and it worked again to escape the Creel house vision.
where it failed was at the snow ball, I think because Vecna got too much in her head by talking to her, and she couldn't concentrate. (the other two times he didn't talk to her while she was trying to hide in her memories, but this time he won't shut up).
after that, she seems to have given up on shutting her eyes, maybe because Vecna has figured out to target her hearing. because at the next attempt, her eyes stay wide open, and I think she would've been killed except for El interrupting. the third time, her eyes stayed open and she was killed.
avoiding eye contact
4 Max carries on a considerable chunk of her conversations staring off to the side, especially when the topic is herself.
not that this is unique to season 4 or to Max - people just tend to avoid eye contact when uncomfortable. for example, Max barely looks at Lucas throughout the s2 heart to heart on the bus either. this is just part of Sadie's portrayal of Uncomfortable Vulnerable Max, and Max is just that way a whole lot more in 4 than in prior seasons due to being depressed.
still, the end result is Max having her most important conversations with limited visual emotional cues from the other person - a trend that will obviously continue if she's blind.
relatedly, Max was able to deliver two deeply emotional and personal monologues (a supremely uncomfortable task for her) no doubt aided by the fact that her audience wasn't there to make eye contact with:
and like I've talked about before, right after her first Vecna survival, Max grabs and holds Lucas, and hears/responds to him, but it always struck me as weird that at NO point in this scene does she look at anyone:
hm.
relying on her friends' sight
thanks to the visions, Max is starting to find her sense of sight unreliable. so although nothing is currently wrong with her eyes, this puts her in a position where she's already learning to stop relying solely on her own sight, and to consult with her friends and listen to what they say they're seeing when she's unsure.
which she'll be doing a lot more of if she's blind.
not to mention the big plan with Lucas - his whole job is to keep an eye on her and "call in Kate Bush" when it gets too dangerous. so, literally trusting her life to his sight and her hearing.
losing her sight
in the end of course we arrive at literal blindness. Max can't see or feel anything but apparently can hear Lucas.
not sure what to make of potential paralysis (I don't think they'd both permanently blind and paralyze her) but that's where we stand now - with hearing as Max's last known working sense.
which is why we end on Lucas reading to her in hopes that she can hear it. if Max does wake up blind, you can bet that being read to will become one of her primary sources of entertainment. I could totally imagine Max not being ready to withstand a lot of heavy personal conversation, but still wanting to take comfort in her friends' voices.
anyway. losing her sight would be devastating of course, but I like that they've had Max placing major value on her hearing while she still has her sight instead of leaving the entirety of the conversation for when she's blind. and I like that they've had Max already start learning to trust those around her for support.
#max mayfield#blind max mayfield#character analysis#here's how El can still read Max a WW comic in 5#givehimthemedicine analysis#analysis#mine#long post
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Letting go
Bob x Fem reader
Summary: not all fairy tales consisted of only highs, sometimes there were very low lows
Warnings: very angsty, cheating?, break up, alcohol consumption
A/N: pictures are from Pinterest. Sorry for the bad mood
Previous: cosy cuddles - Next: Oh how I was wrong
Mood đ”:
Enjoy!
Things with Bob were going good, maybe it was all a little too good to be true, or do fairytales really exist? You were dating now for almost a year and let's be honest you had never been happier before. Still feeling those butterflies in your belly when Bob lit a smile, they way he could make you melt under his touch. Your time together either meant going out on a date, curled up next to each other watching a movie, or other activities, or meeting his friends at the Hard Deck.
Right now you were doing the latter. The guys were playing pool and you were laughing with Phoenix and Bob on the side as the guys were showing off their mostly failing pool tricks. The wonderful and livid mood of the group got cooled down as a girl entered the bar. She was pretty, very pretty with her long hair, perfect body and gorgeous face, everything you did not have. Bob's expression had changed when he looked at the reason behind the intrusion at the entrance of the Hard Deck and immediately let go of your hand he was holding.
The girl's attention went straight to Bob as she started to walk towards him with a big smile on her face showing off her perfectly white teeth.
"Oh shit." You heard Phoenix say quietly next to you. Everyone's reaction, but mostly Bob sudden distance, was starting to scare you.
"W-who, who is she?" You asked Phoenix with the most worried look on your face she had ever seen.
"Has he told you about his last relationship?"
"N-no." Her question was scaring you even more as you now we're about to find out what Bob has been hiding from you. Truth to be told, you hadn't told him how badly things had ended with your ex-boyfriend either. But at least Bob knew he existed.
"That was her, they, uhm, they were engaged. She left him when deployment was coming up, she liked to brag about the fact that he's in the Navy, but she hated the hours, the deployments, she almost made him choose between her and the job." That was were Bob's worry if you could live with his job came from. "I've always hated her and when Bob was left heartbroken once again after she ended the engagement, I hoped he had enough of her, I truly thought he figured out she just used him and got over her, guess I was wrong, I'm so sorry. I really thought you were the one for him, he was genuinely happy with you, he never stopped talking about you at work, like never. Believe me, when he was with her he was never that talkative."
"But she's back and by the looks of it, wants to pick up where they left off." You said with a scrappy voice trying to hold back the tears. Ever since she arrived Bob hadn't looked at you, only having eyes for her. Had he already forgotten about you? About your relationship? Was five minutes enough to completely forget you? This was not the Bob you had fallen in love with.
You heard Bob say to her "Let's talk outside" while guiding her outside by holding her hand, the hand that was supposed to be intertwined with yours, not hers.
"I am so sorry Y/N." Phoenix said while squeezing your shoulder. The whole group was now looking between you and and the entrance of the Hard Deck while holding their breath, knowing Bob was possibly going to break your heart in a million pieces.
"Y/N, you need to know Bob was happier the last year with you than he had ever with her, I don't know what's going on in his head right now." Fanboy stepped in.
"Thank you Mickey, but I'm so scared. I need to see Bob, he can't be the same as him, Bob is better."
"Wait, I'm not going to let you go alone." Fanboy ran behind you, standing next to you while looking outside at Bob and his ex being way too close to each other for your liking.
"Who do you mean by 'him', Y/N?"
"My ex, he was my first boyfriend, he really hurt me, psychologically." You confessed a part of your past for the first time with a soft voice. But as you were saying that, you saw the girl noticing you watching them and she threw a smirk at you, right before kissing Bob. And he did nothing to stop her, nothing at all, he even melted in the kiss. Smiling at her when they let go.
Your heart broke at the sight, shattering in a million pieces, heartbeat going so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of your chest, knees going weak and wobbly, you even started to feel a stabbing pain in your heart and the feeling like it was about to bleed out. Tears had formed in your eyes and were now streaming down your face. Your autopilot had wiggled yourself out of Fanboy's embrace, going straight to Bob. As the door opened and you appeared, looking like shit, he realized what he had done, how he had been blinded by her, forgetting to do things properly, he had always sworn not to do this, basically cheating on someone.
"How-how could you? You're, you're just as bad as anyone else!" You tried to scream at him but only muffled sounds were coming out. "I hate you!" You sobbed before running away, but you didn't hate him, you hated her. As if the skies were feeling your pain, it started pouring, hard. After hours of running an eventually walking you had arrived completely drenched at your place.
With your first step in, you immediately got reminded of Bob, one of his sweaters was still laying on your couch, but also the activities you had done on your couch, and table, countertop, and almost every single place in your place. Everything reminded you of him and it make you sick.
You quickly changed in your pj's and took the first bottle of liquor you found, trying to let the burning sensation in your throat take over the pain in your heart. Why did Bob choose her over you in the blink of an eye? Maybe your ex was right and you weren't loveable, you would never be enough for someone, just a piece of garbage everyone throws away after a while.
The next day you stayed at home, being your pathetic and hungover self you were still in your bed and ignoring every call or text you had received. There were a dozen from Natasha, even from Mickey and of course from your friend from work, Natasha probably had looped him in. But not one from Bob, he probably had already forgotten you.
You felt incredibly empty and yet filled with self hate at the same time. Trying to forget about Bob, your autopilot had started cleaning like a maniac, putting on a new scent candle you found somewhere in the back of one of your cabinets, rearranging the furniture and you had packed all of Bob's stuff in a bag, once you were feeling ready for it, you would drop it off in the Hard Deck, not wanting to go near his place.
And Bob? In contrast to you was in his seventh heaven, he was happy she wanted him back, they had so many good memories together, already forgotten about all the bad ones and there were a lot of bad ones. With you, it was just a year, yes he loved you, you still have a special place in his heart, but with her, it was different, they have a longer history, they were about to get married after all. And now that she had made up her mind, they could pick up where they left off, so he thought. He never wanted to hurt you like this, but it was stronger than him.
It was good that the next weeks were going to be hectic at work so you could get your mind off everything. So that's what you did, throwing yourself at work, working lots and lots of overtime, not taking care of yourself and trying to ignore your friend, all still on autopilot. You should know from the last time that this destructive lifestyle was not going to end well, but you couldn't help it.
That friday you thought you felt ready to go give Bob's stuff back, you felt ready but you weren't. You just needed the bag out of your place. Once again you hadn't slept much that night, barely eaten anything and consumed too much coffee. You were looking pale with heavy bags under your eyes. Good thing it was San Diego so nobody questioned you wearing sunglasses all day.
When you arrived at the Hard Deck, you felt your heartbeat go from elevated to really high and the stabbing pain returned too. With cold, sweaty hands you took the bag and entered the Hard Deck. It wasn't hard to spot them. She was sitting on his lap and being way too noisy. No one had noticed you entering until you were standing right before them.
"Here, your stuff." You said to with a shaky voice, letting the bag land in front of them. "I can't have it laying around, it's easier to forget you without it." He was shocked with your appearance, he wanted to say something, but he couldn't get a word out knowing how much he had hurt you.
"Well thank you and byeeee." His ex - now current girlfriend said, in a way making you want to sink in an even deeper and darker hole than you were already in.
"Don't speak to her in that way." Bob warned her to be polite but still kissed her anyway, ripping the shattered pieces that were still left of your heart out of your body.
"Come on Bob, look at that worthless piece of shit, she's not worth it." Bob looked at you apologetically with those beautiful blue eyes you fell in love with.
"I'm sorry, but I really love her, I, I can't explain." Bob whispered towards you. His soft features couldn't get you to be mad at him, only at her. Deep down you wished you had broken it off with Bob because he didn't deserve the stares his friends gave him, you wished they rather would be mad at you. Because you still loved him. You still loved him so much that couldn't breathe anymore. The thought you might not have meant as much to Bob as he means to you was eating you alive.
Your feet were doing the talking for you and made you turn around and leave. Only to be met outside with Natasha, Mickey and surprisingly Bradley. They took you in their embrace to try to give you a little comfort. Being this close to someone for the first time in days, what already felt like weeks, made you break down, spilling all the remaining tears you had left.
"I'm sorry, I can't come here anymore, I can't see him being happy with her, it hurts, I think this is goodbye."
"No, Y/N, you are such delight in our group, don't leave us with that bitch. We might not have talked a lot but, I enjoyed your presence." Bradley said.
"He will realize he's lost without you. He needs time and some common sense."
"I still love him, despite..."
"I know, I know. We will always be here for you Y/N, one phonecall and we'll be there." Natasha said, the rest nodding in agreement.
"I'm sorry, I need time. Goodbye, for now I think." You said before leaving.
Taglist: @mrsjaderogers @bradleybeachbabe @iamdannyday @rhirhikingston @mavrellover91
#bob floyd#robert bob floyd#bob floyd x reader#bob floyd imagine#bob floyd x y/n#bob floyd x you#bob floyd fanfic#robert bob floyd fanfic#robert bob floyd imagine#robert bob floyd x reader#robert bob floyd x you#robert bob floyd x y/n#top gun fanfic#top gun: maverick#top gun maverick#bob floyd angst#robert bob floyd angst#Spotify
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Replies
Skipped the day yesterday because my PC died, but Iâll try to write more replies today!
Starting with the ones related to our recently posted drawings~ But there are also some about twst characters and ships: Malleus, Riddle, Sebek/Jamil and many many more.
hipsterteller asked:
*sees Azul and Idia making out* welp someone better take a picture
Iâm pretty sure Jade and Floyd are already on it. Maybe Ortho too, but for more wholesome reasons than the tweelsâŠ
hipsterteller asked:
Dang it KalimâŠ
He just HAD to ask Jamil to come back as soon as possible!
Anonymous asked:
~ đ” There goes the vizier hauling ass, like always đ” ~
Lmao thank you for the mental image of Jamil racing through the streets of Silk City in his big-ass robes. Looks like he forgot to get the food though... Maybe he and Kalim could have some fish for dinner?
Youâre welcome~ Poor Jamil, getting food from the store isnât even his job, but he was nice enough to go, and for what? To race right back through the streets of Silk City in his big-ass robes đ
If Azul, Jade and Floyd didnât bring them a pizza this time, theyâll have to have fish for dinnerâŠ
Anonymous asked:
Jamil is gonna murder these people, he doesn't care if he gets in trouble. That reminds me, does the...oh who am I kidding, of course they knew Jamil is acting like a snake by using Kalim again.
Jamil is so sick and tired of them, itâs been 30 seconds and he is already done LOL
They probably havenât seen each other in quite some time, and Jamil isnât planning on doing his subtle-Kalim-seduction thing in front of these three, but I have a feeling theyâll still notice that there is something going on between them. They know a snake when they see oneâŠ
Anonymous asked:
We seen the mafia Octavinelle often visiting Scalding Sands, but what about the Shrouds visiting there since they are often with the mafia?
Oh Ortho would love to visit, but he doesnât usually get to go with the Octavinelle trio and stays by Idiaâs side; and Idia probably hates the idea of visiting Scalding Sands, because itâs way too hot, and Kalim and Jamil are there, and Kalim is annoying and Jamil is scary, and the whole thing is going to be awkward, what is this really, a college reuinon? Yada-yada, mumbling Idia noises.
But still, theyâll visit them at least once. Even if Azul isnât persuasive enough, Orthoâs puppy eyes are going to break Idiaâs will for sure.
snowblub asked:
Whenever I see a post of yours and I know it's yours btw I look at what's there then forget I'm following you then go up to press follow and then realise that I do follow you. Short memory struggles... The amount of times this has happened is a bit embarrassing ngl.
But at least now you know that you got someone who would follow you a hundred times if possible?? I just thought to tell you.
AHHH This is so sweet of you?? Thank you so much. The fact that my drawings give you an urge to press follow despire already following is such an amazing thing to hear! <3 <3 <3
Anonymous asked:
I made the mistake of showing a newer friend your twitter account, I did warn them...đđđ
Like yes I like you BEACUSE your problematic, someone has to speak for us :(
~Anon <3
Ohh, I hope you didnât have a bad fight with them, Anon. Having arguments and even falling-outs with friends because of ship-related content is always unfortunate :(
We can only speak for ourselves, but if you feel seen/inspired by the fact that we have the audacity to post our problematic stuff, Iâm very happy to hear that!! <3 Thank you for supporting us.
Anonymous asked:
I've also been thinking about how Malleus threw off the dom/sub radar, and I think it's funny if he throws off everyone else's radar too and even himself guesses whether others are doms/subs wrong like 90% of the time LOL that's how we got rollo & mal flirting with each other, both convinced the other is going to rail them later that night, only to be met with disappointmentđ it's okay boys, there are plenty of gargoyles in the sea....
Anon THIS! I COMPLETELY AGREE lol Especially with Rollo and Malleus; I donât know if Rollo expected anything from Malleus (he was being a tsundere, thatâs for sure), but Malleus clearly read the room in⊠his own wayâŠ
We like to joke that this happens because Malleus learned the art of flirting from Lilia.
Now I canât stop imagining Malleusâ confused blinks when he learns about the dom/sub positioning of some of the couples.
Anonymous asked:
Do you think Epel would like Heathers?
I don't know, Anon, I think Epel wouldn't really get Heathers đ But he'll appreciate the fact that it's less "girly" and more intense.
Anonymous asked:
"azul is only hot when he's angry" anon here. i changed my mind. i saw the light. im a redeemed soul.
Ah Anon! Itâs good to hear back from you and see that you are no longer a hater of Azulâs natural immeasurable sex appeal. Iâm sure Azul would be very pleased to hear that (and sexy) <3
(But in all seriousness I do wonder what made you change your mindâŠ)
Anonymous asked:
I don't know if he's ever expressed a desire to become one in canon, but occasionally I cone across fics and fanart that portray Riddle as a Prosecutor. Every time I end up imagining him as an Ace Attorney rival and then end up laughing because I picture Phoenix thinking 'I thought I was done with the Von Karmas.'
Anon, he fits the role of an Ace Attorney Prosecutor PERFECTLY, and he would be SUCH AN ANNOYING BITCH TO PLAY AGAISNT LOL We love Ace Attorney very much, so we also joke about Riddle being a prosecutor from time to time. I have at least one sketch related to this topic but we posted it on ko-fi.
Our go-to is usually to give Ace the Attorney role, not only because of his name, but also because him being confrontational with Riddle is always a fun thing to imagine.
Imagine Riddleâs angry sprites as a prosecutor⊠heâs even worse than some of the Von Karmas⊠at least he doesnât use a whip I guess lol
Anonymous asked:
i saw this sebejami doujin on pixiv and Sebek is my favorite boy along with Ortho so, what do you think about their dynamic?
Theyâre intriguing! Itâs always interesting when someone who isnât Malleus gets Sebekâs kind-of-sort-of-approval (a very important achievement I know), and Jamil somehow managed to do it. Maybe itâs because he managed to sit through Sebekâs hours-long rant about Malleusâ grateness in that one vignette, but it honestly shows just how interestingly their personalities play based off each other. Jamil is constantly done with everyoneâs bs, but heâs unfrotunately tolerant enough to take a passive role and listen. But he is also enough of a tease to enjoy Sebekâs âcuteâ and silly moments, like when he watched him almost fight a goat during the Glorious Masquerade event. So I feel like to him Sebek would be a massive pain in the ass (and letâs be honest, with Jamil â who isnât?), but also have his surprisingly endearing moments.
But this is based on their interactions in the Glorious Masquerade event + that one vignette in which Jamil promised to listen to Sebekâs odes for Malleus lol
blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:
Do you have any headcanons of if it's revealed Lilia and Malleus are married or at least SHOULD be? Cause, again, the idea of Silver never questioning kisses and what not until NRC when they said I Love Yous and kissed in public and someone pointed it out is so funny to be
The thought has never occurred to me because to be honest, just like Silver, I never question anything that Lilia does lol
But I can picture some people from the NRC being confused about Lilia and Malleusâ relationship, because theyâre definitely closer than just being friends⊠so while Iâm not sure if they would think about them as a married couple(or who should get married), some people definitely think theyâre banging lol
And Silver is very chill about it⊠if only these people knew the whole truth about Liliaâs relationship with both Silver and Malleus⊠marriage is the last thing that would come to their mind lol
blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:
Hot take: Deuce gives Jack boob-jobs aka when you put a boner between the pectorals aka breasts/boobs and either the person receiving would move against the chest or the one who's chest is being used would squeezed their chest together and bounce. Thank my cousin for this random headcanon, never needed to know this was a thing but here we are
This 100% should be a thing, and Deuce 100% should do that, because Jack deserves it!!
This also 100% wouldnât be Jackâs idea, so⊠Iâm looking at Deuce knowing that he has seen this before. What are you reading/watching in your free time, Deuce?
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Liveblogging Dead Friend Forever Ep 8
Shit has hit the fan and is going to continue hitting the fan this episode. Let's go!
Tee didn't steal the cash Non gave him to pay off his mafia debts? I am, honestly, shocked. I am not, however, shocked that mafia uncle thinks that Non is a police spy. This is not going to end well for Non but at least mafia uncle ends up in jail.
creepy teacher keng is going to get his ass a pair of cement shoes and I am here for it. dude, you are a math tutor why are you trying to investigate the mafia. They really are not trying hard to hide the fact that this is a mafia front. "the bathrooms are off limits, order food and get the fuck out" indeed. The closeup on the water jug makes me suspect poison but instead we get the frankly hilarious getting hit by a car scene, i hope that's how he dies.
OOoof, this favoritism from Non's mom is painful. Like, we knew she probably loved New best but hearing it...yikes. Non's not a good kid, like New is! Non can't do anything right, like New can! Poor Non.
Non's breakdown is so sad. this kid is Going Through It on all fronts.
oh my god, those voices reading the tweets...the salacious tones. so gross. Be On Cloud is Making A Point. very well done.
Non writing out the kills exactly how they happen 3 years from now. Either Non is (one of) the Killers or the killers found the script. So like, YES this is a revenge story! That shouldn't be shocking or disappointing to you, it was telegraphed! The fun is in how we get there not in complicated twists for twists sake! ok, moving on.
Tee being ordered to kill Non...i see i see. Tee doesn't like Non at all but is still horrified at the thought of killing him or his uncle killing Non. because Tee IS still a highschool kid himself, no matter how long his uncle has been making him do mafia shit is probably wasn't that. Tee's still got some goodness/innocence in him, which is probably the side he shows White.
LMAO at the netizens causing problems. yeah that sounds about right!
i am dying to see the awkward conversation between Jin and Non about Non coming back to finish the movie.
Tee being suspiciously nice. he's either plotting to kill Non to prove himself to his uncle or feeling incredible guilt that he's going to take Non to his uncle to get silenced. Or a mix of both! if I was Non i would not trust that water lol.
Jin stares at Non but can't even meet his eyes when Non looks back at him. GOOD. I don't care if he was upset about his crush 'sleeping with someone else', you don't just record people like that! He is, in fact, old enough to know that, even if he has poor impulse control because he's a dumb teenager.
is the prop an ACTUAL AXE. lol. lmao even. how did none of you realize this was going to end badly?!
Anyway, the knife being Non's, actually, is so fun. Just another little detail that the killers wanted the boys to recognize the calling card that's why Por got cut up a bit after he got stabbed by the branch.
You tell them, Non!
Oh, Top getting stabbed and Fluke having to take care of him...part of what Fluke was talking about how it's always him taking care of those things. I'm glad Non got to stab Top a little.
Jin trying to apologize for everyone but let's play some One Republic ft Timbaland đ”đ¶Because It's Too Late! To Apologiiiiize! It's Too Late! đ”đ¶
LMAO I was right to be suspicious of the water!!!! man did that kick in at just the right moment.
LOL Jin lying to the cops is just painful. You can tell that he's lying from a mile away, especially when he says that Non and Mr Keng truly loved each other. I do think it's interesting that they plotted to have the story be that Non ran away with Mr Keng.
Jin winds up the Final Girl of the version Por wound up shooting, even though Non had changed the script to everyone dying...them going back to the valley mansion because of Jin leaving the country...it's all about Jin, just like i've been saying! everything is connecting!
lol they all know Non is probably fucking dead and not with Mr Keng.
Tee, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
i knew it! I knew those were going to be Phi's last words to Non and it was going to eat him up! It's going to drive him insane and he's gonna murder people about it!
using the actual footage of Non's murdery breakdown in the movie...evil. Phi going to the movie premier... Iconic.
#dead friend forever#dff the series#dff#i am so pleased with everything this show is doing#it's so much fun
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đ” and one for me!: qp royai
HEHE YES this took me. a while because royai is So Specific and in a full mix i'd definitely try more to encapsulate (gestures) the Everything but for a few quick songs:
Easy Silence - The Chicks
Canary in a Coal Mine - The Crane Wives
Run - Daughter
One Foot in Front of the Other - Emilie Autumn
explanations / lyrics under the cut!
Easy Silence - The Chicks
"Children lose their youth too soon / watching war made us immune / and I've got all the world to lose / but I just want to hold on to / the easy silence that you make for me / it's okay when there's nothing more to say to me / the peaceful quiet you create for me / and the way you keep the world at bay for me"
on one side of things this feels like a cop-out because Easy Silence is kind of my go-to QPR song but on the other side of things the way these two have their own fucking language that doesn't even need to include code words all the time. Yeah
Canary in a Coal Mine - The Crane Wives
"You and I are friends of empty graves / black air and black, black lungs / am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?"
song about supporting someone through your shared/similar trauma even to the detriment of your own well-being, even when you're worried that support is all you're good for in your relationship! while I definitely think Roy and Riza's relationship is more solid for that, they're both colossally fucked up about what they've done and what they've been through and that's definitely a layer of the codependency going on.
Run - Daughter
"And we will step outside, checking that the coast is clear on both sides / Cause we don't want to be seen, now, this is suicide / But you can't see the ropes"
According to Genius lyrics the original intention of this song is about an impending breakup. But to me, it's always given across this sense of planning something with someone, something dangerous where you don't have all the steps in place yet and it could hurt one or the both of you, but you have to move forward and do it and - well, yeah.
One Foot in Front of the Other - Emilie Autumn
"We never will forget, and no, we will not forgive / We fought hard not to die, yet we don't know how to live / How do we change our world to what we want it to be? / How do we move beyond all of this misery? / One foot in front of the other foot / In front of the one foot in front of the other foot"
This song is technically very heavy and somber and it's also the most optimistic, encouraging song I know. Since canon ends with them on the next step of their plan, but not there yet, I really like it as an ending song on a hypothetical mix.
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Trick or treat! (I am dressed as s scary robot! đ€ đ€)
Hellloo friend! (I'm in pjs rn, but I've got so much Halloween music playing, it's been awesome!) đ”đ
I have a bunch of ideas waiting to be written, but one of them I know needs its own (longish) fic with worldbuilding because it's about Djinns. I've been wanting to borrow concepts from Supernatural's What Is And What Should Never Be episode from Season 2, and I'd love to see how that could play out for Sterek.
Like, imagine Derek having his family around (aka all the Hales are alive), and the fire never happened. Maybe the Argents didn't come to Beacon Hills. But the kicker: Derek doesn't like Stiles.
On the flip side, Stiles' mom is alive, his family is happy, and heyyy, he's got Scott as a BFF and Lydia actually gives him attention (could be platonic or romantic). Maybe Stiles knows Cora or just knows the Hales and their reputation, and when something brings him to their house, Stiles definitely doesn't vibe with Derek at all.
Something keeps bringing them or forcing them together at weird times of the day, and they're struggling to figure out what the hell is going on. Then, they realize there's a reason...like they should know why they need to stick together. They technically know each other. Things feel familiar, and they know each other ticks.
That's probably when they realize everything they have in this world is too perfect and too fake. Cue to the "dream" world crumbling around them, and they wake up to a Djinn slowly feeding on them as the Pack rushes right in.
Dreams and reality screw with people so hard, so there could be some crucial lessons learned, I think. That's as far I've gone with planning atm.
I think I've only read one Sterek fic inspired by the Djinn concept, so yeahhh, we def need more of this since the possibilities and outcomes are endless!
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on august 21st, 2014, i was a 12-year-old in 7th grade who was just finding out about the hidden block/normalboots collective of game reviewers.
on august 21st, 2014, i found caddicarus - who would have a huge impact on my life for the next 4 years.
during those 4 years i had many fandom shenanigans. made some great memories, made some not-so-great memories.
i remember when he was an android fanboy. i remember when he didn't like pizza. i remember when his voice was higher and when he had the buzzcut. the stock grungy background and aesthetic. the frosty cooltext generated logo. that iconic gong noise at the beginning of the intro. when the intro didn't even have music at all - do fans these days even remember that the intro was once a heavenly chant with no music?
"đ”ay ay ay ay ay, ay ay ay ay, subscribe...đ”"
"that's how we do it in my garden!"
"CYOAR!"
i remember rushing home one day in march 2015 to watch him on PBG's minecraft hardcore. i remember when he first got his tattoos. i remember how the audience was divided over his mohawk.
many sunday afternoons were spent waiting for the new video to come out. being the young devoted fan i was, i started drinking pepsi after he said he preferred it over coke. i called it "the official drink of the beautiful people".
i remember in 2016 when he got rid of all those extra shows and made the caddicarus show weekly. and i remember when the sub count slowed around the same time. but we as the fanbase made do with what we had.
i left in late 2018 around the time he hit 600,000 subs. i left to pursue other fandom endeavors - long story short, i moved onward. đ
in the 4 years since i've left, caddy pretty much addressed every criticism people had with his videos and he's been thriving more than he ever has. and even though his videos are no longer for me personally, i still respect him with every fiber of my being.
now, it's august 22nd, 2022. i'm 20 years old. i haven't watched a caddicarus video in god knows how long. when i think of caddicarus, the color blue still comes to mind. that shows you right there.
yet, as i sat silently in the college library, on the first day of junior year, i held my hands on my heart and teared up as i saw caddy do the same and then lie down on his side as he saw the long-awaited number show up on his screen.
i took a big sip of the pepsi sitting next to me. and even after i found out that he hates the US version of pepsi, i still drank it with pride. because it shows that the impact he and his videos made on me is still visible to this day. and also because...pepsi really is better than coke.
i am aware of what caddy thinks of the pre-2020 era. i recognize that he wasn't exactly making the videos he wanted to make and that he regrets them now. but we wouldn't be where we are today if they never existed. they still made an impact.
i remember when we never thought he'd hit 1 million subs. i remember checking socialblade and the prediction for the 1 million sub milestone was...actually pretty accurate. it projected he'd reach 1 million when i was in the middle of college. but at the time, it was still 6 years away. which is a long time in internet years.
but he's so resilient. that's 10 years of blood, sweat, and tears poured into the channel. and within those videos - no matter what he thinks of them now - are the childhood/teenhood memories of many, many people. nerdy and geeky kids who found a part of youtube that understood their nerdy and geeky interests. kids who finally felt validated after finding other people who enjoyed the same videos. kids who then had internet friends to talk about their interests with. kids who finally found their voice...and began to make videos of their own.
thank you so much jim. thank you for all you've done. you have given me and now a million other people so much happiness and joy. i hope you continue to thrive and inspire millions of people. stay beautiful. đđđ
#caddicarus#hiddenblock#jim caddick#i now have an urge to rewatch old vids and look back at all the cringe fan videos i made...oh my god#oh yeah fun fact - the older caddicarus intro was composed by endigo. yes - the big chungus endigo.
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things we don't say
A continuation of the some other life 'verse.
Playlist đ” Buy me a cup of tea â
Chapter One: The Little Palace
Inej's phone has been silent for two months.
"What's got you looking so miserable?" Nikolai asks.
They're a week into their third year at Ketterdam University, and it's her first shift at the Little Palace since the summer. Living on campus is convenient for 9am lectures, but it unfortunately also means every day is a reminder of her missing friends.
Inej shrugs, adding two pumps of vanilla syrup to the coffee she's making. "Latte for Feydor?"
"Thank you," he says, stepping up to the counter. "Have a wonderful day!"
Nikolai waits until the bell above the door rings and there are no more customers to distract her before trying again. "It's the start of a new year! You're in my presence! It's unusually warm for October! What is there to be sad about?"
She ignores him, skirting out from behind the counter to collect the abandoned mugs and plates from the tables. It's nearly time to close, and no one wants to be on campus this late.
"Come on, I'm worried about you."
Continue reading under the cut // Continue reading on AO3.
"Oh, 'Nej, you should have said!" Nikolai says, shaking his head. "I'm the expert in love. I give very wise advice."
"Do you," says Zoya flatly.
He wraps an arm around her waist, tugging her close to him. "That's why our relationship will never die, dear."
Nina beckons her over to the counter with possibly the most serious expression she's seen on her since Inej accidentally ate her leftovers. Sighing, she picks up her pile of dirty dishes and wanders over to them.
Working at the Little Palace coffee shop for two years has taught her two invaluable life lessons: how to make the best coffee this side of Ketterdam, and that her coworkers are unstoppable once they've latched onto a piece of gossip.
The tray of cups rattle as she dumps them on the counter with more force than necessary. Even the smell of coffee reminds her of him, and she hates he could turn her life upside down in a matter of weeks.
"Why didn't you say?" Nina says. "Do I need to kill that Kaz boy? Or did you find yourself a summer fling to break your heart already?"
"Kaz and Iâ" She hesitates, trying to find the politest way to put it. "We didn't work out."
She shrugs, as if the movement will roll the waves of fury and guilt from her shoulders.
"Why not?" Nikolai asks. "That day when you came here after your doomed escape room was the happiest I've ever seen you."
Nina scoffs. "You didn't see her reading her results last year. I swear she nearly fainted."
"We weren't right for each other," Inej insists. She loves her friends, but they don't need to know about last summer. It started as the best month of her life, only to crash and drown in August. "And Nina, don't be so dramatic."
Nina holds her hands up in surrender.
"I like you better when you're grumpy," Zoya says, looking Inej up and down. "But I don't care about your love life. It's nearly 6pm and Nina's made a mess. Let's close up now."
Inej carries the dirty dishes into the kitchen before they can interrogate her further. No one follows her. It's hard to tell whether it's because of her mood, or the state Nina has left the kitchen in.
Flour coats every surface. Honey smothers the metal countertops. Inej takes a cautious step forward, and a broken egg shell crunches underneath her boot. If it weren't for the gentle hum of the oven and the scent of Nina's famous waffles, she would assume Nina set off a baking-related bomb.
She dumps the washing up on the draining board and turns on the hot tap. Her friends mean well, and she shouldn't take her anger out on them. It isn't their fault that she isn't on speaking terms with Kaz.
He hasn't spoken to her since August. She didn't expect that to change. In fact, if they managed to avoid each other on campus for the rest of the year, that would be perfect.
Jesper and Wylan, on the other hand... well, she'd thought they were friends, too.
Jesper called her two weeks after the break up to ask her what happened. She'd told him the same vague story she just told her coworkers, and he hadn't tried to call her since. Wylan had been equally quiet, but he's never been much of a texter.
Jesper has always been Kaz's friend first, so it's only logical that he would take Kaz's side. But, stupidly, she'd convinced herself that the reason they hadn't called was because they were busy over the summer holidays. As soon as they returned to campus, she was sure they would all go back to the same dynamic they had in July.
If she'd hoped Kaz would apologise at the start of the new term too, she would never admit it to anyone.
"Need any help?" Zoya asks.
Inej looks around at the mess. She would prefer to be alone right now, but it would also take her a while to clean all of this up by herself. "Please."
Zoya opens the supplies cupboard and collects the supplies they'll need: two bin bags, a brush, a hoover, and a mop.
Inej wipes all the flour onto the floor and starts sweeping it into a pile while Zoya gathers the rubbish and washes her hands.
"I'm sorry about your boyfriend," Zoya says.
Inej's grip on the broom tightens. "It's fine."
Zoya shoots her a disbelieving look, but doesn't push it. "If you need to hide a body, the freezer outside is big enough toâ"
"I'm not killing anyone."
"I'm sure we could arrange for Nina or Matthias to."
"We're not killing anyone."
"Alright, I'll drop it. Pass me the broom and fill up the bucket, will you?"
Inej obliges. They clean up the rest of Nina's mess in silence.
She appreciates Zoya's support, even if the offer of murder is a little drastic. Those two months she spent alone were long, and although she knows her parents did their best to cheer her up, she's glad for the reminder that her friends have her back too.
There's a glint in Zoya's eye that suggests she might try to kill Kaz with or without Inej's permission. She's as fiercely protective as the dragons from the bedtime stories Papa used to tell her. If Nina and her wanted to make a man disappear, she has no doubts they could get away with it.
Inej is shoving the hoover back into the cupboard, battling the mop's repeated escape attempts, when someone pounds on the door to the cafe.
Zoya sighs, halfway through taking her apron off. "That'll be Nikolai forgetting something again."
Inej snorts, slamming the cupboard door shut and bracing herself against it as the mop bangs against the wood. "Maybe he just wants to hang out with you."
"Don't be so romantic," Zoya says. "He's been with me all day. He probably left his hand cream or something equally idiotic behind. Let me see." She exits into the main cafe, leaving Inej on her own to wash her hands and collect her belongings.
It's a new term. She has a fresh start. She needs to pull herself together and throw herself into her studies so she can get the first she's dreamed of and forget all about her old friends.
Zoya reappears in the doorway, looking twice as tired as she did when she left to answer it. "There's a man here for you. Says it's urgent."
"Who?" she asks.
Zoya shrugs. "Not your boyfriend."
Inej shakes her head and mutters a quick prayer to anyone who might be listening before stepping past Zoya and into the cafe.
Jesper is pacing in front of the door, mumbling to himself and chewing his thumb like Wylan used to.
"'Nej!" he says as soon as he sees her. He rushes forward, crowding her into a too-tight hug. "God, I've missed you. Where did you disappear to?"
"My parent's house," she replies drily.
"Doesn't matter, you're here now," he insists, releasing her. "Look, Inej, you've gotta help me."
Now that she can look at him properly, some of her anger dissipates. This isn't another one of his ill-fated matchmaking schemes; he's here for something serious. By the looks of it, she isn't the only one who had a terrible summer.
He's replaced his usual stylish outfits with a stained hoodie and loose sweatpants, and the bags under his eyes look like sacs of ink. There's always been a light in his eyes, a mischievous glow that reflects his playful personality. But today, his eyes are dull, and rimmed red.
"What's wrong?" she asks against her better judgement.
"Wylan," he says, his voice tight. "His dad found out that he's engaged, and he pulled Wy from the uni and is keeping him prisoner in their house. I've barely been able to talk to him for months."
Well. That explains why she hasn't seen Wylan on campus.
"That's terrible, Jes," she says, biting her lip. She tries to keep her voice gentle. "But what can we do about it? Wylan's the same age as us, isn't he? If he's legally an adult, then the university must have got his permission."
"You don't understand." Jesper paces again, wringing his hands together. "Wylan is in real danger. We've got to get him out of that house and into mine without his dad knowing."
Inej folds her arms. She can't imagine the pain Wylan's going through, but this sounds serious enough to take to the stadwatch. "Even if you break him out, I'm sure your landlord wouldn't let you add someone to the tenancy agreement so last minute."
Zoya walks in from the kitchen, flicking the lights off as she goes.
"Nina asked already," Jesper replies. "Our landlord agreed to Wylan coming, as long as we're married."
"So you need to elope, too." Inej shakes her head, stopping suddenly. "Wait â our?"
Jesper scratches the back of his neck. "Did Nina not tell you? I'm living with her and Matthias this year, because you're on your own and my old flatmate is doing a placement year in Ravkaâ"
"Did you know about this?" Inej asks Zoya.
She shrugs on her coat. "Everyone does. I assumed you did too."
Great. She's a week into her fresh start and her life is already falling into chaos. There's no way she's going to avoid Jesper if he's living with her other friends.
"Look, Jesperâ"
"We can come up with a plan," he declares. He seizes her hands, squeezing them tight. "Please, Inej. You're one of my best friends. Please help me."
"If I'm such a close friend, then why didn't you talk to me for months?"
"I tried texting the group chat! Wylan's dad stole his phone, but you don't have that excuse, and neither does Kaz."
She bristles at the mention of his name, but her heart sinks nonetheless. Both her and Kaz muted the group chat within a week of it being made â Kaz blocked Jesper's number altogether â but neither of them had the heart to tell him.
Inej softens her glare. "I'm so sorry. I thought you were ignoring me, so I never thought to reach out myself when you needed my help all this time." She squeezes his hands back. "This action will have no echo."
"You can make it up to me," he pleads.
"Of course I'll help," she says. "But I'd better be a bridesmaid at your wedding."
He finally cracks a smile, a bit of light returning to his eyes. "Absolutely."
Zoya clears her throat. "Can we move this emotional moment outside? My bed is calling to me."
"Right." Jesper shuffles out of the door and into the mild autumn night.
"Sorry," Inej says, following him. "Goodnight!"
"See you tomorrow," Zoya says, locking the door behind her and vanishing into the dark.
Inej turns to Jesper. She could still bow out of his scheme now. His plans almost always end badly, and she would love to follow Zoya's example and disappear off to bed.
"Explain everything from the start," she says instead. "And leave nothing out."
#i am having difficulties posting this on ao3 but we aren't gonna talk about that#grishaverse#shadow and bone#six of crows#kanej#wesper#helnik#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#nina zenik#matthias helvar#zoya nazyalensky#nikolai lantsov#my writing#lina lore#mmb writes#the things we don't say#shadow and bone prompt week 2023#sabpromptweek2023
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I've got it! How bout this:
Trey: Birthday by Katy Perry
Ruggie: Here comes trouble by Neoni or Bills by Lunchmoney Lewis
Jack: Live Forever by Hollywood Undead
Azul: Who's laughing now? by Ava Max or For your entertainment by Adam Lambert
Jade- Blackout by Aviva or The Show by Jake Daniels
Rook- Ghost by Confetti
Epel- Reckless Tongue by Airways or Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Idia- Anxiety by blackbear
Sebek- High Hopes by Panic At The Disco
I hope these fit!
Hello again! glad to see you back with even more songs to pick from! If it's alright ima call you đ” anon! now onto the songs!
Trey- Fun song! could definitely see this as a birthday song that the Mc could sing to him, again not the biggest fan of the innuendos in the song but I can easily adjust them to be more wholesome! good choice! might try and write that closer to his birthday though, oh well.
Ruggie- Such an interesting song! As I listened to it I could envision this song as Ruggie is overblotting. when I first read the second book I thought h was going to overblot from how magic he used to cause the stampede, and he was pretty upset that Leona was just giving up after all his hard work. Maybe an alternate universe where he overblots rather than Leona. Amazing choice and great ruggie vibes!
Also, the second song is very fun and also fitting, but I loved the first one so much that I immediately set up a draft for that... Both are wonderful though!
Jack- Cool rock song! I can see it fitting a specific asset of him, but the Jack we see is fairly chill and cold, but soft to those he has respect for. Also a tsundere. A good song, but not quite how I envision him but its pretty close.
went searching myself for some songs that would fit jack and looked up a bunch of montage songs. found one I liked; John Cafferty - Hearts On Fire. Thought it was pretty fitting with his strong moral compass and burning passion.
Azul- YES! this is wonderful! good song! shows how he worked hard to overcome those that mocked and hurt him before. I'm loving the song. I can see some sort of dream sequence where Azul sings this cause he's proud of how far he has come. Despite still struggling at times, he's brought justice to his bullies. Might write an animatic as he watches his bullys suffer. Heck yes!
The second song doesn't fit azul that well, too many innuendos and such demanding lyrics... nice try.
Jade- Somewhat unsettling song, definitely fits his mysterious and scary side, but it just doesn't hit quite right. I don't know how I could change it either to fit better. It's so close just missing something.
Now the second song is perfect, I would need to change quite a few of the lyrics to fit him better, but the mysterious but knowing lyrics and deep beat in the background are perfect for him! Don't know if I could write this as a story, might just end up as a simple parody. Great choice!
Rook- Wonderful song choice! love the hints to how hes hard to find and how he can seemingly appear out of nowhere. Could write an animatic-style song with him appearing and watching from afar. nice job!
Epel- Some of the lyrics fit him and his intense hatred for certain topics. Somewhat fitting but I don't really feel the vibes from the sing itself, I could make it work but I'll look at the other song first.
Oh MY GOSH, that second song is so perfect for Epel! how he hates the way Vil tries to reform him, how likes his country accent and lifestyle. Can definitely write a thing where he's screaming this, might get in trouble with Vil and Rook later but he doesn't care at that moment. HECK YA!
Idia- Hate to say that this song is perfect for his insecure and introverted personality but that's exactly what I'm saying. Could write this when he and the prefect are friends, or could just make it so he's just anxious about all kinds of stuff. OR a better idea is that he's singing to ortho, he can't live without ortho. perfect fit.
Sebek- Amazing song, no idea that it was by panic at the disco! but not really fitting for the Sebek I know, then again I don't really know him other than he's loud and obsesses loves malleus. Too upbeat of a song but loving the idea.
#twst#twst parody#parody#heck ya!#đ” anon#asks#thank you!#had fun listening to these and thinking what I could do with them#sorry this took a bit to get done#I have like 18 drafts thatnsk to these suggestions#will they get done in a timely mannor?#probably not#but hey they will get done eventually#thank you again!#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#my stuff#my writing
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hahaha my dad is literally such a pervert đ
my stepmom is such a terrible person! she made my dad get rid of our family cat who's been in the family since i was in high school and i had to find out by visiting my dad one day and found my baby was gone đ they didn't even ask me if i would take her in cause i would've and they just gave her away like she was nothing đ«€
right?!! she always speaks highly of my dad on purpose to boost up his manhood so he doesn't leave her = no money for her. she is such a manipulative liar.
"he'd probs break a damn hip" had me dead đ
so. for some unknown reason, a lot of women find my dad hot (ew) he's literally your typical bald and old white man đ i honestly think it's his money that attracts this women, he's a sugar daddy for these younger women đ i've never met his girlfriend but she's just another gold digger! and i believe she's in her late 20s-early 30s!
ask away babe i love this. the tea is hot here đ©·
i feel you girl. nothing worse than a parent choosing the stepmonster over their own kids. like what more do they want from us? you ruined our families lives! that's what they are good at!
awee girl i'm so sorry this fucker has influenced your relationships. but i don't blame you at all cause i would probably be the same too. they cause nothing but trauma. but you got this girl! i promise you, you'll find someone who is worthy of your time and won't remind you of your fuckwit stepshit đ©·
i'm sorry... court? what a fucking loser. girl please hire someone to beat the shit out of him đ
omgg yess these vents have been so therapeutic for me! i personally don't have a good relationship with my sisters at all and i refuse to talk to them about my dad and stepmonster because they are just pure assholes who only care about themselves. we have each other so *big big hugs through the screen* đ©·
i bother my friends sooo much with sending them anything tom blyth đ
THE WAY I HATE YOUR FAMILY RIGHT NOW OMGGGG
I would not be able to forgive them if my family got rid of our cat without even asking me if I wanted to take them in. I'd probs go completely no contact with them (and by no contact, I mean because they'd be dead)
Also, fuck this side chick too. Let's just add her in there cause she seems like she's just as bad as the rest of them đ How did he meet her anyway? Was she the replacement secretary to your stepmonster? đ
Yeahhhh he really fucked me up good. But I'm honestly such a huge romantic at heart and I'm hopeful that a soulmate will come and sweep me off my feet one day
đ” A dream is a wiiiiish your heart maaaaakessss đ”
Also, yes. Court lol. He offered to help pay for part of my college tuition as a "The past is the past. I'm a changed man. Let's be a âšfamilyâš now" and then he got pissed cause dropped one of my classes that I didn't even need and said that I was "ungrateful". So he threatened to take me to court and sue me for all the money he 'wasted' on my tuition. Now... I'm not saying that I want him to fall off a cliff. But if it happened? Can't say I'd be upset about it tbh
Yes, babes! We def have each other! *big big virtual hugs* 𧥠And I appreciate you listening to my rants too cause i don't have a therapist right now and I really should lol
Side note: OBVIOUSLY Tom Blyth is the finest specimen on earth. That's no debate. But.... thoughts on Austin Butler? Cause he just came on my radar and ohhhhh mannnn đ
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đž Joy's Cozy Week đȘ»
Monday, 4.29.2024 - Sunday, 5.5.2024
đ¶ You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got troubles, I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and we see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me đ”
I have a very busy schedule full of info this week, so I apologize in advance for the long message!
Monday, April 29, 2024
6:00 PM PST [Twitch] - Genshin Impact
We have the Father who we need to slowly build and I'm preparing for Sigewinne's⊠which meansâŠ
WE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO!
9:00 PM PST [Twitch] - Guest Starring at GhostDogVG, for Golf with Friends! âł đ¶
Fellow Pokemon fanatic GhostDogVG (aka Erin) is debuting a new model today and celebrating it with a subathon!
For those of you who aren't familiar, she's a professional singer, songwriter, and a variety gamer streamer!~
I definitely recommend her vibes to my community here~!
Her actual debut starts at 8:00 PM PST, so show the love her way!
I'm glad to be a small part of her big debut and invite you all to support this wonderful person!
Wednesday, May 1, 2024
9:00 AM PST [Tiktok/Youtube/Maybe Twitch?] - Cozy Co-working with Spirit City: Lofi Sessions âš
Bring the spirits (no, not the drink!) and your projects, because we're getting productive today!
Much fanfiction writing and visual novel writing to work on, I invite all of your creative and busy minds to be productive together â
4:00 PM PST [Twitch] - Guest Starring at Crazymadman for OMORI
We're continuing the unsettling adventure of OMORI over at Johnny's, along with friends Nxious_1 MudkipNinja !
Been intrigued by the game so far, and I'm curious to see what happens next!
What weird voice will I procure next? đ
Thursday, May 2, 2024 6:00 PM PST [Twitch] - Persona 3 Reload
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD IN THIS STREAM!
We're reaching a pivotal point in the story, and I CAN'T WAIT! đ
Friday, May 3, 2024
4:00 PM PST [Youtube] - New Youtube Video released!
More Genshin ASMR coming your way; I'll be exploring more Fontaine and all of its watery glories.
7:30 PM PST [Twitch] - Guest Starring at Zer0PM for Okami
The bestie Zer0PM has allowed me to crash her Okami stream before and Joy is at again! đ€Ł
I've never played Okami before, so I'm thankful to Zer0 for allowing me to join in on her playthrough!~
What shenanigans will we run into this time?
Saturday, May 4, 2024
10:00 AM PST [Twitch] - Love_Hanami AFFILIATE DONOTHON!
Hanami is hosting her 1 year affiliate donothon all day, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to be hosting in part of the festivities, with many familiar friends, too!
Hanami is the loveliest bear vtuber with the coziest and gremlin vibes ever, support this wonderful bear on her special day!~
And WHEN we meet the donothon goal, she will extend her donothon into Sunday! LET'S DO IT, FRIENDS!
8:00 PM PST [Twitch] - The Wishing Well Raid Train
The Wishing Well Stream is hosting a Raid Train this weekend!
The members of the Wishing Well Team are wishing you well with this raid train that will occur during the entire weekend!
My part in the raid train will be during this time, and I'm excited to be trying out newly released indie games Tell Me Your Story and Doronko Wanko!
These are two very cozy games (doronko being on the more chaotic silly side), and can't wait to experience it all with you.
Don't forget to check out the other team members and when they'll be streaming! They're all great cozy and comfort streamers! đ«¶
For those who were following our Stray Gods playthrough with Cursin_Kakashi TheDiceAreCast TheUndyingPrince, do not fret!
We will be continuing our adventure next week, so mark your calendars now for the conclusion of STRAY GODS on May 14, 2024 5:00 PM PST !! (Subject to change.)
For the anticipated Voiced Fanfiction Stream, it is still being scheduled for May!
Keep your eyes peeled for more pings about this exciting Isekai Fortnite fanfiction we've cooked up!
Join my Discord for updates, and another sneak peek coming soon ! đ
I want to take a moment to say I hope that this week brings you much kindness, support, love, and happy memories.
You deserve more than you think, and you are always enough, just as you are.
Don't let anyone take that away from you.
đ I hope I can bring as much coziness to your week as possible. See you soon~! đ
Twitch Tiktok Youtube Twitter Instagram Discord Linktree
#cozy#cozy with joy#genshin impact#genshin#nahida#joy#aesthetic#content creator#cozy gamer#fanfiction#cozy games#cozyvibes#cozy aesthetic#stray gods#gods#greek gods and goddesses#musical#adventure game#musical game#video games#visual novel writing#visual novel#starview manor#donothon#affiliate#subathon#debut model#vtuber#cozy vtuber#schedule
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Part 6
Lily: Echo what happened to you
Echo: I joined the dark side
Music starts here*
Echo: I've always wondered what it was like to understand pain as much as my body doesn't want to fight I have to make sure you don't see the light of day as the blood moon slowly rises And a darkness will take over this land I must make the only one that gets light through kindness must be defeated as I will struggle to the darkness I won't go back into the light I will be loyal to them like all my family so be prepared person of lightđ”
Music stops here*
Echo: be prepared friend
Lily: I have the feeling you're not in control but I still have to fight you*gets ready to use water abilities* I don't want to fight my friend but I have no choice I'm sorry for this...*they begin fighting*
Nora: babe there's a bit of an issue the moon is red and it's for some reason out at the daytime
Lily: love whatever you do keep everyone inside
Nora: but what about you
Lily: I'll be fine just make sure everyone will stay safe
*meanwhile*
Darko: looks like the blood moon is coming to devour light
Zap: wait what what's happening
Darko: I have to go stop it
Zap: I'm coming with you
Darko: zap I love you but you're too weak you'll die and I don't want that
Zap: I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A DEMON TRAPPED IN A HUMAN BODY I STILL LOVE YOU!
*Darko stared at him shocked*
Zap: so please please don't leave me
Darko: but if I stay with you the moon will collapse into the Earth
Zap: I'm going to come with you I don't care if you like it or not
Darko: fine just don't get hurt...
*meanwhile back at lily and echo*
Lily: struggling* why are you doing this echo
Echo: I must obey the crystals command
Lily:*realization* thats it the crystal*begins pulling it out*
*lily manage to pull out the crystal*
Echo: lily oh my goodness oh no oh no the blood moon lily you've got to stop the blood moon otherwise it will crash into the Earth
Lily: WHAT!?
Echo: this was aerus plan all along
Lily: who's aerus??
Echo: I'll explain later we need to get back
Lili: but it will take two days in order for lily get back
Echo: oh no that's exactly how long until the blood moon crashes into the Earth
Lily and Nora: wait what
Echo: luckily the crystal has enough power to open the portal into the destination we need
Raz: what about us and the other dimensions they have people too
Echo: they have to wait until we get back we need to find a way to make the blood moon go away
Lily: can we just destroy it
Echo: we can't otherwise darkness will forever cover the Earth and the multiverse
Lily: You too Warn everyone here Nora tell Darko and zap to get aqua and pedal and everyone we met also tell star to get resources we might need them you get everyone and put them into a safe place meanwhile me and echo we'll get back and see if we can find any information on the blood moon
Nora: got it
Lily: raz tell the psychic 6 about what's happening then make sure that are safe and sound with everything they can eat
Raz: ok
Lily: lili your dad pedal aqua and the psychic 6 are going to try to hold the blood moon we cannot let it crash into the Earth
Lili: I don't know why I'm listening to you but okay
Lily: orb I don't know if you can hear me but please tell Isaac to use his powers to get help from the other side we need all the help we can get
Ghost of orb: okay
Lily: okay let's go back now
Echo: I'm beginning to think that you need to be the leader of the team
Lily: echo this is serious we need to make sure everyone's safe and sound
Echo: okay I'm going to open the portal
Lily: everyone stay safe
Meanwhile:
Aseurs: I told her that she'll break through but she didn't listen no matter the blood moon will keep going
To be continued:
Hey guys thank you for being here I'm sorry if it took so long I've been doing a mental health break I know not many people read this series but the few people who do thank you for being here I don't know what I deserved but I kept going because I was determined I knew some people enjoy it and I don't want to disappoint them all I have to say is that this is sady the end game of the lily aquado au don't worry it's still going to be here and will have a future series but that will have to wait because I'm doing scenarios you can ask for some if you want but it's going to be mostly my doing I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I do and thank you for being here-lilylovesundertale
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Coming Home
PAIRING: fem!reader x best friend!Jaehyun
GENRE: fluff, angst, non-idol!au, neighbours!au, childhood-friends-to-lovers!au
SUMMARY: A story of two childhood friends who go through some pivotal moments in their lives together. As they get older, they soon come to realise just how much they mean to each other.
WC: 13.7k
â ïž WARNING(S): mentions of death, car accident, grief, language (let me know if Iâve missed any)
đ” PLAYLIST: 5 STAR (CL), Iâm in love (Yerin Baek), I.O.U, Round & Round, Coming Home (NCT U)
A/N: My first fic of 2022 and the longest one I've written so far but, I had so so sooo much fun writing this. A HUGEEE thanks to Izzy @decembermoonskz for beta reading this đ„ș I hope this will be an enjoyable story to whoever decides to read this and feel free to let me know what you think of it! đ P.S. includes prompts #13 and #16.
At the age of 8, you and your best friend Jaehyun experienced the joys of snow together for the first time.
The perks of having your best friend as your neighbour was that they could go over to your house whenever they wanted (with permission from their parents of course). You and Jaehyun would go to school together, go home, play, and do homework together. Creating some of the fondest memories in your life. Neither of you realised how much it all meant until you were a lot older.
It was one December afternoon on a Saturday. You sat on the sofa between your parents, eyes focused on the animated characters on the TV. A bowl of popcorn sat awkwardly on your lap, but your small hands tried to keep it steady, not to let it fall on the floor.
Suddenly, light specks of snowflakes started to fall from a gloomy sky, and within a few minutes, those specks would turn into heavy snowfall.
You noticed something happening in the corner of your eye, and so you turned to the side and looked out the window with curiosity.
âOh would you look at that Y/N, it's snowing!â
âSnowing?â
You placed the bowl of popcorn on your mum's lap before running up to the window. You watched the snowfall; your face lit up with excitement.
Next thing you know, the sound of a doorbell perked your ears, and you were curious as to who it was.
As your mum opened the door, there stood your best friend wearing a puffed up coat over his pyjamas, a fluffy hat and gloves to beat the coldness.
âY/N, come out and make a snowman with me!!â
As soon as you heard those words from Jaehyun, you turned to look at your mum with wide eyes. You saw a smile grow on her face and nodded at you, which let you know that she permitted you to go outside. You quickly put on your coat and hat with matching gloves and went outside.
You and Jaehyun had a lot of fun building various snowmen, from small ones you placed on the window sill to big ones almost as big as you. Jaehyun even had this incredible duck shaping device which you use in the snow to create perfect little snow ducks. And, of course, when youâre outside playing in the snow, a snowball fight is a must.
âY/N! Letâs make snow angels!!â
âSnow angels? Whatâs that?â you asked.
You tilted your head to the side and walked up next to him as your eyes followed Jaehyun curiously as he laid on his back against the thick snow. You watched him move his arms and legs up and down repeatedly until some of the snow gathered against the outline of his body. Jaehyun quickly got up and pointed towards the figure.
âThis! Snow angel! Come, make one here!â
Jaehyun gently tugged on the sleeve of your coat as he looked at you with pleading eyes but you hesitated.
âItâs really fun, trust me!â Jaehyun exclaims cheerfully
âOkay, I trust you!â
âââ â
âââ â
Your parents had moved to Seoul a few years ago after a huge job opportunity your dad was offered, and of course, they had to bring you with them. You were devastated and questioned all the time why you had to leave the country you were brought up in and why you had to leave the rest of your family and friends behind. You couldnât understand why your parents didnât leave you with your family and move to Seoul on their own.
The first month or so was hard for all of you. You refused to go to school and your parents had to put up with all the tantrums you were making. You would cry almost all day, repeatedly asking your parents,
âWhy am I here? Why canât I go back home? I want to go home.â
âY/N sweetie, this is your home.â
âNo. NO! This is NOT MY HOME!â
You would always run to your room, feet stomping on the stairs as loudly as you could as you go to your room and lock yourself in there pretty much the whole day, sulking. Your parents were angry and didnât know what to do.
But you were just a kid. Moving away to another country and leaving behind some of your favourite people in the world hurt you a lot. It was a lot to take in, especially at such a young age.
However, one day, it was like a miracle had happened.
You woke up and went to school. You didnât throw a tantrum, you didn't cry, and you didn't refuse. Your parents thought that you had enough of crying and you got tired of it.
Or maybe because you felt bored staying at home most of the time, despite staying in the house and having an opportunity to watch all your favourite cartoons. You often wondered how your parents allowed you to stay at home like that. But, you wanted to go to school to make friends and share all your favourite things with other people.
And thatâs what you did.
As time went by, you ended up having a lot of fun at school and would come back home with the biggest smile on your face. Sometimes as soon as your parents picked you up from the school gates, you would immediately hand them drawings you made in class, or show them the well-done stickers on your jumper that you had earned from your teachers.
It has been a while since your parents had seen you this happy and they were grateful.
They were even more grateful for a sweet little boy named Jaehyun, that you introduced as your special friend to your parents after school one day, because they already knew who he was.
Jaehyun and his parents lived next door, which is how they knew of him and were glad they lived next door. Both your parents agreed to swap numbers after a few friendly conversations and learning that their kids attended the same school. They also decided they would do school runs for each other if they couldnât do so.
You didnât know you and Jaehyun were neighbours though. It wasnât until one day neither of your parents could make it to school on time to pick you up due to important schedules at work. Therefore, they had let Jaehyunâs parents know and asked if they could have you stay at his house until your parents were back.
You were upset when your parents didnât show up and thought they mightâve abandoned you, but Jaehyunâs mum explained that neither of your parents could pick you up and that you could hang out with Jaehyun at his house until your parents were home. You were both very excited.
âYaaaaay!!! We can watch my favourite show together and have pizza!!â Jaehyun claps his hands in joy.
You looked confused when Jaehyunâs mum pulled up in front of your house, and questioned why she drove you home when you were supposed to stay at Jaehyunâs. You finally realised when Jaehyunâs mum explained to you and opened the front door of the house next to yours, with Jaehyun pulling you to go inside.
It was from then on that you and Jaehyun promised to be best friends forever, sealing it with a cheesy pinky promise.
At the age of 16, you fell in love.
[26th JUNE. 2013]
The last of your exams were finally over, and to commemorate the end of another school year, your school decided to hold a prom event. You were excited about it because it gave you an opportunity to dress up, and it was an event where you and all your friends could have some fun, especially after a stressful few months. It was something that only happened once in your school years, almost like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you made sure that it would be a memorable one.
So, who was your prom date?
Jaehyun, of course! You guys are best friends so you were stuck like glue, ever since you were kids.
Since Jaehyunâs mum had to go to work in the evening, she offered to drop both of you off on her way to work.
You were tightening the straps on your shoes as you heard the doorbell. You quickly gathered your essentials into your clutch and opened the door to see a well-suited Jaehyun, dressed up in a black tuxedo with a waistcoat and tie that matched the colour of your dress. Jaehyunâs hair was slicked back, away from his face and forehead visible, and damn, did he look extra handsome like that.
Holy moly he looks gorgeous. You thought to yourself.
âWowâŠâ says Jaehyun as he stares at you.
Youâre pulled away from your own thoughts as you hear that first word he said to you after a few moments of silence. He was starstruck by your own beauty as he looked at you head to toe.
You stood there with your hair styled in a low bun. A few strands of hair you let loose on the sides which framed your face. Your makeup was kept to a minimum with a slight tint of a rosy red lip. All completed with your one-shoulder floor-length royal blue dress of chiffon material and a shiny jewelled belt on the dress that cinched in your waist, which completed the whole look.
âWhat? Why are you looking at me like that? Do you not like it?â you frowned as you looked down at your dress.
âN-No, No! I love it! You look⊠beautiful.â
You felt shy as he called you that, and you swore you felt like a tomato right there and then.
âOh, thank you. You donât look too bad yourselfâ you say as you look at him and his tux. A smile grows on Jaehyun's face.
âOh, they match my dress!â you point to his tie and waistcoat as you notice the colour of it. âHow did you know I was gonna wear blue?â tilting your head when you asked him.
You and your friends thought itâd be fun to keep each other's outfits a secret until the day of prom as a surprise. The only people who knew what you were going to wear were your parents, so you weren't expecting Jaehyun to turn up wearing a tie and waistcoat the exact colour of your dress. You thought maybe it was just a coincidence.
âYour dad told me. I wanted to at least incorporate the colour of your dress with what I was gonna wear, so I asked him what the colour of your dress is.â
âYouâre welcome sweetheart.â your dad said who was standing a few feet behind you, and you didn't even realise. He winks at you and you squint your eyes at him as a response.
The honks of a car interrupt your conversation, realising that you should be going now. You and Jaehyun quickly say bye to your dad before you hop into the car and make your way to prom.
â
You, Jaehyun, and your friends were having a lot of fun, dancing the night away to old school classics, munching on food, taking loads of pictures, and talking about all the crazy things that had happened the past year.
Even though you and Jaehyun were with your friends throughout the whole time, you couldnât keep your eyes off him.
Just simple things such as small touches to your arm or fixing your hair, gave you goosebumps. Or times when he would wrap an arm around your shoulders whenever you guys were talking to your friends. Whenever you saw him smile or see him throw his head back laughing at something ridiculous your friends had said, your eyes went straight to him, and it made you smile and laugh too.
The truth is, you had a big fat crush on Jaehyun. You canât remember when these feelings started to appear, but it just happened. Your friends knew because you had told them one day after school. You wanted to talk to someone about it hence why you decided to tell them. Well, you told one of your friends, and they promised to keep it a secret, but they couldnât, because everyone in your friend group apart from Jaehyun found out. You were surprised that information didnât reach Jaehyun, knowing how gossipy your friends can get. At least they were doing you a favour, and you were thankful for that.
Itâs not the first time you and Jaehyun have openly had moments of physical intimacy. It happens all the time, but today, it made you feel like you wanted something a bit more. Itâs like on this particular day, your feelings for him became extra intense.
All your friends had started to pick up on it, and began to tease you with every opportunity they got. They were winking at you, nudging your shoulders and making weird noises whenever they caught you looking at him or even if you were seen alone with Jaehyun. You lost count at the number of times you gave death stares to them.
â
âAw, this is one of my favourite songs!â you say to your friends at the table, when your ears perk up to the song that had just started playing, âIâm in loveâ by Yerin Baek.
You're so busy people-watching that you don't notice Jaehyun approaching you.
âY/N, would you like to dance?â Jaehyun asks as he extends his hand out to you, a sweet smile on his face; dimples on display.
âIâd love toâ you mirror his smile on your face. Squeaky noises and screams come out from your friends when you take his hand as you get up from your seat; leading you to the middle of the dancefloor, but not before looking back at your friends with a raised eyebrow. Wondering what on earth were those sounds and why they were so weird.
You look at Jaehyun with doe eyes as he pulls you in closer to him, his arms finding their place on your waist before you place your hands on his shoulders.
You donât think youâve ever been this close to him before. Even if you have, itâs not the same. His face is just inches away from yours. You felt yourself getting a bit hot, not from the number of people in the room but the closeness of Jaehyunâs body. You werenât the only one who was like a tomato right now. Jaehyun was too. Ears turn a shade of red, but you donât notice, because instead of making eye contact with him, youâre looking down at both of your feet as you sway side to side along with the music.
You could feel him staring at you, which makes you shy. You somehow find the courage to look up at him, and when you do, your heart skips a beat as the tip of both your noses touch each other. The next thing you know, Jaehyunâs lips are hovering against yours. You can feel the softness of his lips brush against yours, both of you closing your eyes. You make the first move, sealing your lips with his.
At first, it was a sweet and gentle kiss. You pull away from him for just a second before Jaehyun kisses you again, this time deepening the kiss as your hands make their way to the nape of his neck. Your fingers are playing with his soft locks. You swear you felt the goosebumps and butterflies in your stomach intensify like never before. You couldnât believe this was happening.
You donât really know how it happened.
Maybe it was something that had been brewing inside of you. Or it was the song that was currently playing that sparked the kiss to happen.
When you both pull away from each other, you continue to look at each other full of adoration. You looked back and forth between his eyes and lips and so did he. You both wanted to feel the softness of each other's lips once more.
Jaehyun leaned in closer and closer. You closed your eyes, anticipating and wanting to savour the moment with him, waiting for his lips to brush against yours.
But it never came.
Your eyes immediately open as you hear loud chatters surrounding you and Jaehyun, as some of his teammates from his basketball club suddenly pull him away from you to the other side of the hall. âIâll catch you later!â he shouts out, and you watch his figure get further away. You wave at him in response before youâre dragged to another area of the hall by some of your friends, wanting you to try some of the food they had just brought out.
Way to ruin the moment. you both thought.
â
It was quickly approaching midnight, and before you knew it, prom was ending. It was time to go home. You and Jaehyun said your goodbyes to your friends before his dad picked you both up to drive home. The car journey was a bit awkward. When you and Jaehyun gathered with your friends again towards the end of the night, both of you were thinking about that kiss. Even now in the car, you were both still processing what had happened but decided to push it to the back of your mind for the sake of your friendship. Neither of you liked the awkward tension building in the car. You were already thinking of the worst, and you were scared. Luckily, Jaehyunâs dad came to the rescue and discarded the awkwardness.
Little did you know, that moment will come crawling back in your mind all the time. Because it was the moment you realised you were perhaps in love.
You spent the rest of the night laying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, replaying that moment over and over again in your head. It felt like something you had seen in a movie or a story you had read, where one of the main characters fell for their best friend, especially when theyâve spent a good chunk of their life with them. And when they fell, they fell hard.
And that was exactly what had happened.
At the age of 18, he broke your heart.
[25th DEC. 2015]
Itâs Christmas Day, and youâre currently sitting on the floor with your back resting against the couch at Jaehyunâs house. The Christmas tree placed in the corner lit up the whole living room. During Christmas, it was a tradition for you and Jaehyunâs family to go round and spend a day at each otherâs houses.
You had just finished dinner a while ago. You and Jaehyun insisted on cleaning up after, but both your parents refused to let you guys do the washing today and wanted you to enjoy the rest of the evening doing whatever you wanted.
You were scrolling on your phone while Jaehyun went to the bathroom. You could hear laughter and chatter coming from the kitchen, which made the corner of your lips perk up. Jaehyun comes back and sits down next to you.
âHere, I wanted to personally give you this.â Jaehyun says as he hands you a small silver box with a red bow on top. âMerry Christmas Y/Nâ
You put your phone to the side and look at Jaehyun suspiciously as you take the small box from his hands. âOpen it."
You open it and gasp; eyes widen at what you see in front of you. In the box lies a gold plated necklace with your zodiac constellation made of delicate gemstones upon a velvet cushion. The same one you first laid your eyes upon a few months ago at a jewellery store when you and Jaehyun went out shopping. And then again, a few weeks back when you walked past the store again.
"I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you.â
âJae⊠Oh my god, you actually remembered? You didnât have to⊠Also this was kinda expensive, no?â
âI wanted to get this for you because it seemed like you couldnât take your eyes off it, and my parents chipped in as well.â Jaehyun laughs.
âYour parents? Iâm surprised.â
âOh, itâs no surprise. Youâre practically like a daughter to them. They love you as much as I do,â Jaehyun says with a smile on his face. Your heart started pounding when he said that.
âThank youâ you donât know where you found the courage from, but you placed a quick kiss on Jaehyunâs cheek and hugged him. His ears immediately blush at your action. Fortunately for him, you donât see that.
âJeong Jaehyun, you always know how to make me happy.â
â
[5th MAR. 2016]
âOh my god, mum, why are we watching this?!â you whine out to your mum, who for some reason, decided to put on a bunch of videos from when you were a kid on your TV for Jaehyun to see. âPlease turn it off,â you begged, as you reached over to where your mum was standing behind the couch you and Jaehyun were both situated on, trying to get ahold on the TV remote she was gripping onto.
Jaehyun is over at yours today for dinner as his parents had to go out of town to take care of a few things. Conversations about your childhood were brought up while your mum was preparing dinner, which led to your dad putting videos of you when you were little on the big screen for your best friend to see.
Even though you and Jaehyun had known each other since you were 8, he was curious to see what you were like before he met you.
âNo please donât, I love this. Y/N youâre so adorable!â Jaehyun says as he slaps your arm playfully. âYou looked so cute when you were little.â You could feel yourself blush from his words.
On TV right now, was a younger you, dressed up in your favourite pyjamas and belting out to songs you had learnt at school, holding onto a remote control, pretending that it was your microphone.
âThe vocals though!â Jaehyun laughs.
âNext time, itâll be your turn.â squinting your eyes at Jaehyun.
â
After dinner, you and Jaehyun decided to get some fresh air and headed to the local park a few minutes away from your house.
Snow had built up across Seoul since it had been snowing quite heavily for the past few days, and you were always excited because it meant you got to build snowmen and have snowball fights.
It was something you enjoyed doing ever since you moved to Seoul and became friends with Jaehyun. Whenever it snowed, you felt like a child again. It always reminded you of the time you and Jaehyun played in the snow together for the first time when you were kids. Those memories made you smile.
Though you were wrapped in your puffy coat and boots, your hands were freezing. You were so excited about the snow that you forgot your gloves at home, and Jaehyun forgot his too.
Jaehyun picked up a snowball and tried to aim it at you but dropped it to the ground when he saw you rubbing your hands together and blowing air into it to try to warm them up. He ran up to you and grabbed your hands. You swore you felt your whole body shiver, not from the cold, but Jaehyunâs touch. Jaehyun started blowing air into your hands and repeatedly rubbed his hands over yours. You looked at him with adoration as he did so.
After a while, Jaehyun stopped and looked at you, his hands still clasped over yours. He seemed nervous, and it looked like something had occupied his mind.
âY/N, I need to tell you something.â
Jaehyun looked at you intensely. Heâs never looked at you like that before, and it made you anxious.
Was he going to confess to you?
Deep down, you hoped he did.
Ever since that kiss 2 years ago, you kept thinking about how you felt. At one point, you felt that it was just a stupid kiss and it meant nothing, but as more time went by, you realised that you couldn't get it off your mind. You couldn't get him off your mind. You found yourself wanting something more with Jaehyun.
There have been times when you wanted to talk to Jaehyun about what happened, but you didn't have the guts to bring it up. Jaehyun never spoke of that kiss again, so neither did you.
Since then, following several conversations and advice from your friends, you concluded that you were definitely in love with your best friend. They wanted you to confess to him. You had been going back and forth on whether to confess your feelings to Jaehyun or not.
You found yourself questioning whether it was worth the risk because what if he didn't feel the same way? Did he even like you back? Were you willing to potentially lose your friendship over this? You were scared of the outcome.
It's been 2 years now; maybe you should tell him soon before it's too lateâŠ
"Remember how I told you I applied for several universities, including one out of the country? Well, the one abroad accepted me. I start in August, so I'll need to move there sometime in July to get settled down."
The moment he said those words, your heart sank, shattered into a million pieces.
Your expression turned from sweet to sour. The glistening of your eye smile quickly disappeared, and was replaced with tears waiting to spill out. You looked everywhere but at him, not wanting to look at him anymore as you know it will now hurt you instead of healing you.
You snatched your hands away from his. The feeling of warmth quickly disappears. You didnât care if your hands were cold again because all you cared about right now was the fact that your best friend that you grew up with, that you loved so much, was going to be moving away from you.
You didnât know what to do at that point, so you started to walk back home, processing what Jaehyun had just told you. You heard footsteps behind you that were quicker than yours against the snow, which let you know heâs trying to catch up with you.
âY/Nâ, Jaehyun calls out to you. You hear his footsteps get faster until heâs right in front of you, making you stop.
You donât look at him, keeping your eyes on the ground when he calls your name again. Instead of walking away, you stand there, hands gripping on the end of your sleeves. You donât dare to move as Jaehyun takes a step closer to you and another step.
He can hear sniffles from you. Youâre crying. You want to stop, so you hide your face with your hands, trying to calm yourself down, but it doesnât work when Jaehyun pulls you into a tight hug, which makes you cry even harder.
You only had less than 4 months left to spend as much time with him. 4 months isnât that long, and it might seem like a while away, but you spent almost all your life with Jaehyun, itâs weird to know that heâll be moving away soon and that you wonât see him as often as you do now. You wonïżœïżœt be able to close your front door, and within 10 seconds, youâll be outside his. Time will fly by, and the next thing you know, youâll be at the airport crying your eyes out, saying goodbye to him.
How long would it be until you could see him again once he moves away?
Will this be the end of your friendship?
At that moment, you wanted to confess your feelings to him, but you chose not to. You thought it would be unfair to him, and you didn't want to make him feel like he had to choose between you and his dream.
You knew how much Jaehyun wanted to attend this university, which unfortunately was in a different country. Attending and graduating from it meant he had a high chance of working at his dream job, and you didn't want to take him away from that.
After all, you would do anything to keep the one you loved happy, right? Even if it meant having to sacrifice your happiness, just for a whileâŠ
At the age of 21, your whole life came crashing down.
The last couple of years weren't too bad. You had some ups and downs but still managed to pull them through.
Saying goodbye to Jaehyun was one of the hardest things youâve ever had to do. As the day got nearer to his last day in Seoul, you practically clung onto him like a koala. On the day of his flight, you couldn't stop crying. You hugged him for as long as you could up until the very last minute before he had to go.
He said his goodbyes to his parents, and then to you.
"I'll be back before you know it, I promise."
Though Jaehyun physically wasn't there by your side, he was always a phone call away if you needed anything. He is your best friend, after all.
Both of you tried very hard to keep in contact with each other. Quick texts throughout the day and a good few hours of video calls every weekend talking about everything and anything. Of course, it wasn't the same as before, because he was in a completely different country, but you both managed to maintain a strong friendship. You were grateful that you guys were still friends.
Both of you occasionally talked about visiting each other during the holidays, but it never happened as things just got too busy, especially with uni. Lots of hours and days spent at the library and lectures, doing coursework and revising for exams.
â
It was December, and you decided to plan a trip to see him during your winter break at the end of the month as a surprise. Jaehyunâs parents were also thinking about visiting him for Christmas, so you all started to plan the trip together, looking at flights and places to stay. You were looking forward to seeing him in person after a few years and spending some time with him.
Until one day, your whole world came crashing down.
You were in the middle of a lecture when one of the university councillors turned up and asked for you to be excused. You were confused as you started packing up your stuff into your bag. Your councillor walked you to the entrance building, feeling even more confused when you saw two police officers that seemed to be waiting for you outside their car.
They told you that there had been an emergency involving your parents and you needed to go to the hospital straight away. You started to panic and were about to make a run for it when the officers quickly told you that theyâd drive you there. When you got in the car, you started crying, imagining some of the worst-case scenarios that could have happened. You tried to push those thoughts away and prayed that everything was ok, trying to calm yourself down. But you couldnât, no matter how hard you tried.
Unfortunately, the worst did happen.
As you made your way there, the officer next to you explained that your parents were involved in a severe car crashâa drunk driver speeding down the road, trying to escape from several police cars chasing them. The driver lost control of the wheel and slammed into oncoming traffic. The first car they hit was the fatal one, which had flipped over several times. It was the one your parents were driving in.
When you got to the hospital, it was already too late. The doctors and nurses tried very hard to save them, but your parents didnât make it. You didnât even have the chance to say one last goodbye to them while they were still alive. You didnât have the opportunity to tell them that you loved them one last time.
You broke down even more than you already were, leaning your head against the wall for a few moments before dropping down on the floor and hiccuping as tears flowed down your face. You cried and screamed out in anger and pain. The police officer crouches down with you, trying to comfort you by soothing your back and rubbing your arms up and down. But you just kept on crying and crying.
What were you going to do now?
The police officer took you outside to get some fresh air. You sat on a bench, still crying your eyes out but stopped after a while. The officer told you a few things, but you couldnât concentrate on what they were saying.
Afterwards, they left you alone, but not before writing down a few numbers for you if you needed some extra support. You thanked the officer for being there with you and trying to comfort you.
Tears clouded your eyes, and you were crying again. You wished none of this had happened. You started pinching yourself, hoping that it was just a nightmare and that you would wake up soon. But all that happened was that area of your skin started turning red. You started pinching it even more and more until you stopped.
Your tears gradually stopped, and all that was left was minor hiccups and sniffles. Only now were you starting to process what had happened, and everything that the officers and doctors had told you was real. Though you were no longer crying, you were still in pain and distraught. It felt like someone had pierced through your chest and grabbed your heart, squeezing it as much as possible.
You stared down at your hands blankly as you fiddled with your fingers. You sat there for about an hour or two. Tears were coming and going. Grabbing your phone, you texted Jaehyun's parents, asking if one of them was available to pick you up from the hospital as soon as they could. Jaehyun's mum got there as soon as she could, and you explained everything to her.
When you got home, you told Jaehyun's parents not to say anything to Jaehyun about all of this and that you were going to tell him in your own time.
You were already in such a massive amount of stress, studying your ass off, trying to get the degree you always wanted. Being able to start a career in the field you have dreamed of since you were younger. Having your parents' death on top of all that stress, was not going to help you in any way.
It was 3 weeks before Christmas. 5 months before your first of the final exams. 7 months before your graduation.
It was going to be tough.
â
Time seemed to drag very slowly.
You spent the next month or so cooped up indoors, not going outdoors at all. Jaehyun's parents went round to yours now and then to check up on you and bring over homemade food just for you. Little things like this made you feel so fortunate that you still had them in your life, and that they only lived next door.
You isolated yourself from everyone, ignoring texts and calls from your family and friends.
Your family sent in voicemails and messages, saying that they were absolutely devastated about your parent's death, and that they were here for you if you needed them. Though you didn't feel like replying and felt a bit overwhelmed by all the messages, you were thankful for their love and support during these challenging times. You made a mental note to yourself that you'll contact them whenever you were ready to.
Your friends were starting to get worried about you, because it wasn't like you to not talk in your group chats. Sure, you did leave your phone on silent sometimes while you were studying, so it's not a cause of distraction, but usually, you'd be texting them, complaining to them how this assignment you were working on was a pain in the ass. You'd usually tell them not to distract you because you were busy studying. But for almost 2 months, the only thing you would reply whenever they asked if you were okay, was either an "I'm fine" or "I'm busy", nothing more.
One day, your friends showed up at your house, hoping to get answers from you. They weren't mad at all; they were just extremely worried about you.
You were surprised when you opened the door after hearing several knocks, seeing them in front of you. They let out a huge sigh of relief when you answered but frowned when they looked closely at you. You looked like you hadn't slept for days, and they assumed that you were studying too hard and hadn't been giving yourself breaks from it, but you just looked so⊠fragile and weak.
Eventually, you sat them down in the living room and explained what had happened. Your friends now understand the pain you went through and are still going through now.
You still had to tell Jaehyun at some point, but you didn't know when.
University would start again 2 weeks later. It was the last few months before your final exams, and boy, were you not ready to go back at all. You didn't want to go back, at least not yet. At one point, you even thought about whether you should continue; whether there was even a point to graduate anymore.
As hard as it may seem though, you wanted to carry on and finish it off. It was going to be a challenging journey ahead, and you knew there would be times where you wanted to drop everything, but you wanted to make it to the end. You needed to pull through the last few months, not just for yourself but for the sake of your parents. You wanted to graduate to make them proud. You didn't want to fail and quit, especially when you were so close towards the end. You knew that your parents would want you to continue to live your life as much as you could. They would never want to see you live the rest of your life unhappy.
â
The last few months of university were a struggle.
During those months, you tried very hard to get back up on your feet again. You can't lie and say it wasn't a struggle because it was. Staying in the house all the time didn't help, because memories surrounded you. You did spend almost 14 years growing up in this house after all. At one point, you thought, "Should I sell this house and get my own apartment?" but you couldn't. As you mentioned, you made a lot of memories in this house. As much as it killed you because your parents weren't here anymore, you knew that it would kill you if you did sell it. You didn't have a job, and was there a need to do that? You were fortunate enough to have a house in the first place. You felt you were overreacting.
In the beginning, you didn't feel like going into campus for lectures, still wanting to stay inside. As much as you needed to leave the house, since it wasn't good to be cooped up indoors for too long, you were in too much pain to leave your home.
Your professors knew what you were going through and were kind enough to record the lectures and send over presentations to you via email, so you could catch up with things in your own time.
Over time, you slowly started going back. Whether it'd be once a week, once every 2 weeks, you were starting to get back up again while at the same time, learning how to deal with grief.
But, it wasn't always a smooth journey.
You would have days where you would curl up in your bed, crying, as you think back to that moment when you learnt of your parent's death. And then you would have days where you would have the motivation to get out of bed, doing the best you can for the day, whether it's making some breakfast or doing some laundry. You didn't want your parents to worry about you.
You told yourself, "One step at a time". Small steps are still progress, right?
Soon enough, you were having more happy days than sad days, with huge support from the people in your life.
You were grateful for your friends who made time to visit you, making and bringing food and anything essential you needed. They wanted to make sure you were okay and looking after yourself, even though they were busy studying for the last of their exams. Sometimes they would text you, saying that they left some things for you at your doorstep, in case you didn't feel like having visitors that day or just as a surprise from them.
Jaehyun's parents checked up on you every day, whether it was bringing you homemade food, or quick calls to ensure you were doing well. They pretty much adopted you into the family; you were like a daughter to them after all. His parents didn't want to see you live in pain for the rest of your life, and they were sure your parents didn't want to see that either.
And what about your best friend, Jaehyun? Did you ever get around to telling him about your parents?
No, you didn't.
Well, Jaehyun's mum was the one that told him. He found out about a week after you had told your friends.
Of course, you had planned to tell him at some point because you did say to his parents that you would in your own time. However, because you were still grieving over the death of your parents and, at the same time, trying to back up on your feet again, you still didn't figure out when. When you were at the hospital, you did think about telling him as soon as you got home, but you never did.
Maybe it was because you didn't want him to worry about you. You didn't want him to give up on his dreams and make him lose focus. You knew that he would be devastated that he was not there to comfort you and be by your side. Knowing Jaehyun, he'd probably do something stupid like dropping out of university the last minute or booking the next flight back home just to be with you even if he had an exam the next day.
Sometimes, the things he did for you or things he said, made you wonder if he liked you more than a best friend. But you were always one to overthink, and you never wanted to expect too much, so you pushed the thought to the back of your mind.
When you isolated yourself from everyone, you were also trying to ignore his texts and calls. You didnât want Jaehyun to worry about you, so whenever Jaehyun called or wanted to FaceTime you, you would either cancel or ignore the calls. You would text him an excuse saying that you were busy or at a lecture.
Soon enough, the phone calls and texts became less and less. You pretty much ended up ghosting him, and he was getting fed up. You didnât want to do that, but you couldnât think straight at that time. It was getting to a point where you hadnât sent a single text to him for about a month. He tried to call you a few times, but you never picked up. It was almost like you had disappeared from the face of the earth.
Jaehyun thought maybe you were just too caught up with uni. He knew what you were like during exam seasons, so he didn't want to disturb you or anything. He still texted you but tried to keep it to a minimum. However, he was getting worried about you. He was concerned about your health, because he knew how stressed you could get to the point where you would neglect yourself.
He was also starting to think that maybe he had done something wrong. Was it something he said that made you stop talking to him? Were you trying to distance yourself from him on purpose because you didn't want to be friends with him anymore? Jaehyun was scared of losing you.
He wanted answers, but since you wouldn't pick up his calls or reply to any of his texts, he called his parents one day to see what was going on.
On the phone call, he asked about you, and his mum insisted that you were okay. But Jaehyun wouldn't take that for an answer. He knew that his mum was lying and felt something was going on. His mum kept telling him that she couldn't tell him, but Jaehyun begged his mum, and she could feel how sad he was getting. He even said he would book a flight one weekend to see you, but in the end, she told him that your parents had passed away. She didn't go into too much detail because she knows you'd want to tell him yourself when you were ready to.
Jaehyun was so heartbroken for you. He couldn't imagine how you felt when you found out how much pain you were in. He wished he was there with you, so you weren't alone. He wanted to hold you in his arms as close and tight as he could to show you that you were safe with him. He wanted to protect you from all the pain you were suffering from.
After the phone call, Jaehyun immediately sent a text to you.
You were curled up on the couch at that time. You paid no attention to a random show playing on the TV, only acting as background noise while scrolling on your phone. You were about to get up to go to the bathroom when you heard a ping from your phone, seeing that Jaehyun sent you a text.
JAE: âMum told me everything. Iâm so sorry for your loss. Iâm always here if you need me. I promise đâ
At that moment, you thought that maybe now was the time to talk to him about it. So, you went to the bathroom, and when you came back, you called him. Within a few seconds, Jaehyun picked up and as soon as he said your name, you burst into tears. Itâs like all your pent up emotions about everything just popped out. You missed talking to him and hearing his voice.
You and Jaehyun talked for hours. Your chest felt less heavy, and it felt so good to talk to him again.
â
[21st JULY. 2019]
Your graduation day is finally here.
You made it to the end, just like you wanted to. It was tough, but all that hard work has finally paid off, with a tremendous amount of support from the people around you.
You're happy that you're graduating with a degree that you love. But you missed your parents so much, especially on this occasion. You wished that your parents were still here to witness one of your most significant achievements in life, but you knew that your parents would be so proud of you.
For your graduation, you wore a dress that your parents loved when you tried it on in a store one day, pairing it with a set of gold earrings that your mum used to wear and a ring your dad used to wear.
You remember saying that this was the dress you would wear at graduation, even though it was around a year away. At that time, you didn't even know whether you'd be able to pass your exams or not. But, you made a promise that you would try as hard as you could.
Now that university is finally over, you have a few things to look forward to soon.
You were going to take some time off and travel around Japan, which is where you've always wanted to go. Find a job in the career that you've always wanted to work in.
And the most exciting thing of all, Jaehyun is moving back to Seoul sometime next month.
He told you on the phone 2 months ago that he was looking forward to moving back in August. It was something you always looked forward to, and it was a little something that helped you keep going through the hard times. You were looking forward to having your best friend back in the flesh.
You were glad that Jaehyun's parents and your friends were here. Though Jaehyun graduated a few weeks earlier, unfortunately, he couldn't make it to yours even though he promised he would because of some important issues he had to deal with, which meant he couldn't leave the country even if he wanted to. He never told you what it was, but it seemed urgent, so you didn't question him further. He did say he would tell you another day.
You were disappointed of course, because it was one of the biggest days of your life, but you knew that Jaehyun would never have missed it. You promised to send him pictures and videos of the event later on.
â
After the ceremony, your friends and Jaehyun's parents took many pictures with you. You even managed to get some professional photos taken before your friends had to leave. Jaehyun's parents stuck around with you until you were ready to head home, as they didn't have any plans for the rest of the day.
"I can't wait to see Jaehyun. He's coming back soon, right?" asked his parents as you were sending him pictures and videos from earlier. You look up from your phone and at his parents as they didn't respond to you. You noticed they had slight somber expressions.
You laugh nervously. "What? Did something happen?"
Jaehyun's parents looked at each other, wondering if they should tell you now, but they didn't want to lie to you.
"Sweetie, did he not tell you?" his mum said.
"Tell me what?"
You found out that Jaehyun may not be coming back.
â
After his graduation, Jaehyun had planned to move back to Seoul.
On his graduation day, his professor came up to him and told him that someone from a company had contacted him and said they really liked the portfolio Jaehyun had developed over the years at university and asked if he would like to go for an interview.
He agreed to go because it was at a place he had dreamed of working at ever since high school. Still, he didnât think that such a thing would happen because it was one of the top businesses in the country, and it was hard to get into. And so he thought he would study in that field of work in the country that was well known in that industry, go back to Seoul and get a good job in that field.
The interview went well, but he didnât think much of it because it was for such a prestigious company, but it was one of the best in the country. They were only hiring 3 out of 100 people, and Jaehyun didnât think he would get it. He thought there was no way he could compete with the others.
However, a week later, the company contacted him and told him he got one of the places. He got the job.
Jaehyun was surprised. He couldnât believe it; it was like a dream come true for him. All those days and nights spent studying in his room and at the library with him getting a degree finally paid off. He chased his dream and got it.
He couldnât wait to tell his parents about it. He knew his parents would be over the moon because they knew how hard he had worked for an opportunity like this to come up.
He was a little anxious to tell you because he didnât know how you would react to it. It made him think of when he told you he was moving abroad, but Jaehyun was thrilled nonetheless. He hoped you would understand what this meant to him. He wanted to say it to you in person because he was going to the graduation anyway. But, he said to himself that he would tell you the day after instead because itâs supposed to be one of the most joyful days of your life. He didnât want to ruin that. He was looking forward to attending and finally getting the chance to see you again after a long time. He was so happy and proud of you; he wanted to be there and give you a big hug for making it.
However, during the same time the company contacted him, he was informed that his first day would be on the 19th July. 2 days before your graduation, and it was the day he had planned to fly out back to Seoul for that occasion.
That happiness disappeared when he realised that it meant he would miss your graduation. He would have to break the promise he made. He didnât want to break your heart again, but he didnât want to turn it down. He couldnât just throw away this once in a lifetime opportunity. It was his dream after all.
But you would understand, right? You would understand that this was his dream and that you would be happy for him, right?
â
After your graduation, Jaehyun told you everything about his new job on a video call with you. When he told you, you didnât react the same way as you did back when he told you about moving abroad for university. You were shocked but also happy for him, it was evident on your face. He was surprised you weren't mad at him at all. You were pretty calm and were very happy for him.
He felt relieved but, at the same time, guilty for having to break those promises he made.
Though Jaehyun knew you were happy for him, he didnât know that you were also heartbroken. You acted like everything was normal, like how you two would talk on the phone for hours back then when Jaehyun had just moved abroad. But it killed you inside, knowing that you still wonât be able to see him as much as he had promised.
You were going to take some time for travelling before finding a job. You knew that you probably wouldnât be able to contact each other once you get a job as often as before because both of you would probably be busy. But at least itâll be easier for you to take some time off to go and visit him.
After the first week after he told you, you began to feel incredibly lonely. Maybe it wasnât just because you missed Jaehyun, but it was also one of those days where you really missed your parents. Itâs like all those sad moments came rushing back to you. You broke down in tears when you were on a call with Jaehyun one day.
âYou left me again⊠You promised youâd come back.â
âY/N, I never left. Iâm still here, I was always here for you and I still am.â
âBut youâre not here, here. Physically.â
âY/N, I thought you were happy for meâŠâ
A few days after that phone call, you started travelling. You knew you needed to get away for a bit, to spend time with yourself, especially after everything you had been through. You explored other parts of South Korea before flying to Japan like you wanted to do.
All those trips helped you tremendously. It gave you time to think and sort out all your thoughts. You needed it, and in the end, you were so glad that you did all that travelling.
As time passed, things started to feel a lot easier for you. It didnât hurt you as much anymore. Youâve learnt how to deal and live with it.
Throughout the next couple of years, you and Jaehyunâs parents would fly out to visit Jaehyun a couple of times when all of you were free of schedule. You always made sure Jaehyun would have the best of times whenever you guys visited, because you knew how hardworking he was and how great he was at his job. Jaehyun would also make the most of the free time he had with you and his parents. It was almost like an escape from reality for him.
During your visits, Jaehyun would drop hints about his feelings towards you. He wondered if you've picked up on it, because you were always so affectionate towards him both physically and verbally, and he was the same too.
But both of you thought that the reason either of you acted that way was that it was the only time you guys were able to hang out like you used to. You wanted to make the most out of the only days you got to spend time with each other before you had to fly back to Seoul.
The amount of times he wanted to tell you about his feelings while he was with you but didnât, drove him crazy. He always held back because he knew that heâd want to fly back with you. Jaehyunâs parents even picked up on the behaviour between you two. They couldnât believe just how oblivious both of you were of each other's feelings towards one another, it made them laugh.
In the beginning, Jaehyun was quite happy and content with his life. He enjoyed his extended stay abroad. Though work took over his life most of the time, he lived comfortably and always looked forward to you and his parents' visits.
But as time went by, things started to shift. He wasn't as happy compared to when he first started. Work soon started to begin to stress him out more and more. He didn't love it here as much as before. He began to feel a bit lost and lonely.
It felt like he was missing something or someoneâŠ
At the age of 24, Jaehyunâs never felt so stupid in his life.
[27th DEC. 2021]
Jaehyun was in his office, munching on his lunch. He had just gotten off a phone call with you. It was a very brief one since you had to go back to work.
He was casually looking through his phone when suddenly, a notification popped up, saying that thereâs a new memory from his Photos app. It was a video he had saved on his phone thanks to his mum sending it to him one day. It was from the time when you and Jaehyun were bundled up in your oversized coats, down on the ground with your arms and legs moving up and down to create snow angels on the bed of snow when you guys were 8 years old.
He remembered feeling so excited he could run out of his house, do a little u-turn and end up right at your front door in a split second. He remembered stretching his arm up to ring the doorbell and asking you to make a snowman with him. He showed you snow angels and remembered seeing his mum recording videos of you and him playing in the snow together for the first time.
He was so excited to have become best friends with you in the first place. And with you just living right next door to each other as well? He was over the moon.
Watching that video made him look through the photos he took over the years with you.
He comes across several pictures taken at prom back in high school. Both of you making goofy faces in a couple of selfies and pictures with your friends. It makes him think back to the time you both kissed. He remembers thinking to himself, "Is this what love feels like? Is this what it feels like to kiss the one you love?"
When you removed your lips from his, not even a second later, he wanted to kiss you again. And that's exactly what he did. He wanted to be in that moment for as long as he could.
When you both pulled away another time, he felt his heart beating like crazy, making him feel all sorts of emotions for you, love, adoration, warmth. He thought he was going crazy. But he just wanted to kiss you again and again. He started to feel nervous, because he was scared that you would think it was a mistake, but that look you had on your face told a different story. It gave him the courage to kiss you again, but his teammates suddenly turned up and dragged him away.
Throughout the whole night, he couldnât stop thinking about what had happened. It was the day he realised that he had feelings for you, feelings beyond your friendship.
Swiping through more pictures, he stops at one where you and he were sitting in front of the Christmas tree, with Santa hats on your heads at his house when you and his parents went over for dinner. He remembers the way your eyes glistened and that smile you had on your face when he gave you the necklace you wanted.
He loved to see you smile and loved it when the reason for your smiles and laughter was because of him. He vowed to himself that he would never make you cry, apart from if it's happy tears. He would try to keep you smiling and laughing for as long as he's alive and with you.
But that changed a few months later when he told you he was moving away for university.
On that day, just earlier, he was with you and your parents, watching videos of when you were little before you and Jaehyun met. As well as videos your parents had taken when you and Jaehyun would hang out when you were kids. The new year gatherings, the summer holidays, the Christmas holidays. He remembers asking your mum to send him the videos if she could so he could use it to tease you with it whenever you annoyed him or when he felt like it.
When you guys were out at the park, he was so nervous because he decided he would tell you right there and then. He was scared at how you were going to react to the news.
He had gotten confirmation of his place at the university a few days ago, and he was thinking about how to tell you. He didn't want to tell you so soon, but he only had about 4 months left before he had to move abroad. He didn't want to tell you at the last minute when he knew it would break your heart even more, and he could never do that to you.
It killed him when he saw you react the way you did. You looked so hurt.
You started to walk away from him without saying a word. He was confused when you reacted like that. Werenât you supposed to be happy for him because his dream finally came true?
He started to chase after you, and while he did, he thought maybe he shouldâve confessed. He thought about confessing his feelings for you on this day but decided not to as he knew that it would make it harder for him to leave. And what if you didnât feel the same way? What was he going to do? He didnât want to risk your friendship at the time, especially when he was going to move away soon, and so, he thought he would tell you about the move instead. He thought it was the right thing to do.
He never wanted to see you cry, ever, so it broke his heart when you did. And it broke his heart even more that he was the reason for your tears when he vowed to himself that he would never make you cry.
It was a complete 180 to how you were earlier when you were all gathered in the living room, smiling and laughing at the memories made when you guys were kids.
When he held you so tightly, he understood why you reacted that way because if it were the other way round, he would've reacted the same way.
I mean, your best friend, who you've known almost your entire life and who you love with all your heart, was moving away from you. Who knows when and if you'll see them again. Things can happen, and things can change.
He didn't want to leave you, but he didn't want to give up on his dreams.
Counting down the days until Jaehyun's flight, he thought you were so cute that you kept clinging onto him, even more so than when you were kids. You didn't want to let go of him, and he didn't want to let go of you either. You promised each other that you would keep in contact as much as you could, which is what you did.
Until during the last few months of uni, you stopped texting him and answering his calls before exam season began. It was like he never existed in your life. You disappeared all of a sudden without saying anything to him. He thought that maybe you just got distracted with studying because he knew how much you wanted to graduate. That you were pressuring yourself, maybe too much, and he didn't want you to do that. He thought you were spending all of whatever free time you had in the library or studying in your room. If he were still there in Seoul, he would've come over to your house and dragged you away from your desk and outside of your home to force yourself to take a break.
He thought he should confess his feelings for you. Maybe it would help to get through the stress you were probably having. He hoped it would give you extra love and support to help cheer you on.
He kept texting and calling you, wanting to talk to you, hoping to give you some encouragement, but no answers.
As time went by, he was getting increasingly worried, which is why he pressed for an answer from his mum.
For a second, he thought he just lost his chance of confessing to you. He shouldâve told you how he felt a long time ago. But that didn't matter and that thought didnât cross his mind anymore as soon as Jaehyun found out about your parents had passed away because at that time, his main priority was to be there for you as much as he could, like he always had been but even more so than ever.
He was absolutely devastated. He felt so guilty because exam season was approaching, so it killed him that he couldnât be there with you when all he wanted to do was to comfort you and to hold you. If he could, he wouldâve been there in a heartbeat.
He was happy to have heard your voice for a while when you finally called him, but it crushed his heart when he heard your broken voice and tears when you talked to him about your parent's death which is never an easy thing to do.
He remembers telling you how brave and strong you were to keep going and wanting to do the best you could for the sake of your parents. It's one of the things he loves about you. The fact that you never want to fail and you always try to push yourself to the end. You always try not to give up so quickly, and Jaehyun admires you a lot for that. It's taught him not to give up so easily.
You promised him that you would do your best and he promised you, and himself that you would get the biggest hug ever as soon as he could see you again and that he would never leave your side.
â
Thinking about all that has happened, he realised how many broken promises he has made, not just to himself but to you. Heâs surprised but grateful that you stuck by him and understood why he had to break those promises.
Suddenly, everything here felt foreign to him, like he didnât belong here anymore. He started to feel sadness surrounding him. It felt like something was missing.
As much as he loved his job here, he misses Seoul. He misses his friends and his parents. He misses the little things such as home-cooked meals made by his parents, playing basketball with his friends at the park. Small conversations he would have with the local owner of a small cafe at the beach not far from his house.
Most of all, he misses you.
During the few times when you would come to visit him, and it was time to fly back, he just wanted to follow you back to Seoul. He wanted to leave everything he had here and return home with you.
He misses how he could turn up at your house anytime he wanted, and not once did you get angry with him over it. Late night adventures to the convenience store on nights where you would randomly crave instant ramen and cheap but yet the most delicious ice creams ever.
He misses how you would beg him to go to random cafes you discovered on social media because of how picturesque they always looked and asking him to take a million photos of you. You always ask him to choose one to post on Instagram but always pout at the one he chooses because you think you look weird. Still, he always tells you that you look stunning in it no matter how many you take.
He misses the times how your smile or your eyes would crease up whenever you talked about something cool you saw or discovered on the internet. It always made his heart melt, and he would always get the urge to pinch your cheeks and coo at your cuteness.
He misses how he always felt at home whenever you were by his side. He always seems to be the happiest whenever youâre with him.
He didnât want to be so far away from everyone anymore.
Yes, it was his dream to be here, but itâs not making him as happy as before.
They say that you should follow your dreams to be happy. If you follow your dreams, then you follow your heart. If you never chase your dream, you will never catch it.
He's already chased his dream; it's time to chase another.
His dream now is to go back to Seoul, back with his friends, parents, home, and you.
â
[7TH JAN. 2022]
Itâs that time of year when the snow starts piling up everywhere across Seoul once again. Itâs only been snowing for about half an hour, but itâs been getting heavier by the minute.
Itâs about early evening now, and you had planned to go out for some grocery shopping, because you didnât have much in the house to cook something. But, you didnât feel like leaving the house anymore because of the weather, so instead, you ordered delivery.
You figured itâd probably take a while because of the snow so in the meantime, you decided to do a bit of cleaning around the house.
10 minutes later, the sound of the doorbell resonates throughout the house. âOh, that must be my food!â It perks your ears and you quickly make your way downstairs as you were upstairs doing some cleaning.
When you opened the door, you weren't greeted by a delivery person, instead, you were greeted with a certain someone at your front door, gripping onto a large suitcase on the side.
You stood there, staring at them with shock on your face. âJaehyun? Wha-what are you doing here? You never told me you were flying back here.â
âSurprise?â Jaehyunâs prominent dimples appeared as he gave you a slight smile. You wanted to say something, mouth opening and closing. You were lost for words, so instead, you immediately threw yourself in his arms, hugging the living daylights out of him. Jaehyun chuckles at your reaction, hugging you back.
After a few moments, he taps your back, motioning you to let go of him. âListen, Y/N, thereâs something I need to tell you. Well, a few things I need to tell you.â You scrunch your eyebrows, wondering what he has to say.
âActually, before I tell you, can we go inside? Itâs fucking cold out here.â
âOh, right, sorryâ you pull Jaehyun in along with his suitcase, and close the door.
Your breath hitched as you felt the close proximity of Jaehyun. You hadnât been this close to him in a while; you forgot how shy he made you feel sometimes.
âBefore I flew here, I had to take care of a few things. I booked the earliest flight back as soon as I could, though it feels like I shouldâve done it earlier.â You frown at him as you shake your head.
âI-I donât really understandâŠâ
âI quit my job.â
You widen your eyes at his statement. It felt like your eyes were going to pop out any second. âYou did WHAT? Jaehyun, are you out of your mind?! Are you crazy?! That was your dream, why did you do that?â
Jaehyuns shifts his eyes to the ground, then back at you, taking in a deep breath before a smile grows on his face.
âI am so in love with you Y/N. Not in a best friend kinda way, but much more than that.â
âWhat?â You blink at Jaehyun a few times, processing everything he had told you so far.
He takes a step closer to you. âI love you, Y/Nâ
Silence fills the room for at least 10 seconds before you manage to say anything.
âBeing in love with me doesnât equate to quitting your job! I think? Unless youâre really crazy.â Your eyes widen again as you put your hands on your temples. âOh my god, I hope that's not the only reason why you quit.â
âY/Nâ Jaehyun removes your hands from your face, taking them in his. His thumbs soothing circles on them as a way of telling you to calm down.
âSorry, this is kind of a lot of information to take in.â you grimace, as you pull one of your hands away to scratch the side of your neck a little. A habit that you developed over the years when you realised you may have overreacted. âYou know I never want you to give up your dreams just because of me.â
âThereâs a lot more to it, trust me.â
You gave Jaehyun a worried look, and he took it as a sign for him to elaborate.
âIt was getting really stressful and it was starting to take a toll on me. I also felt really lonely without you. And maybe itâs time for a change; relax and take it a bit easy, you know? Iâm sure I can find a job here in Seoul.â
You nodded at his words, giving his hands a little squeeze. âIf thatâs what you want, Iâll 100% support you.â
"Ever since your parent's death, it made me realise how life can just be taken away suddenly. The most important people in your life can be gone in an instant. I want to spend more time with everyone, especially with you. You've gone through so much, and despite all that has happened, you've remained so strong and positive. I absolutely love you for that."
As you listened to his words, tears clouded your eyes before they quickly fell down your cheeks.
âIâm so sorry, I shouldâve come back a long time ago.â Jaehyun says as he wipes one of your tears away.
You shake your head and smile. âYou have nothing to be sorry for. Youâre here now, in the flesh.â you chuckle. âThatâs all that matters.â
âDonât get me wrong, I was happy over there, but I'm the happiest here, with you.â
You sniffle a few times and take a deep breath. âJaehyun, thereâs a lot of things Iâve been wanting to tell you, but⊠I donât really know where to start.â letting out a laugh as your tears continue to fall.
âItâs okay, we have plenty of time.â
âYou came homeâ
Jaehyun nodded. âI did.â
âAnd youâre kind of crazy too.â
Jaehyun looks confused. âHow?â
âYou know you couldâve just dropped your suitcase off before coming over here since you live next door. You couldâve said hi to your parents first before coming over and had dinner with them, or you couldâve-â You suddenly feel a pair of lips on yours. Jaehyun cuts you off mid-sentence with a kiss. Something, of course, you didnât expect, but you kissed him back, and you felt him smile. But Jaehyun pulls away from you when he feels something wet on his face.
âWhy are you crying?â Jaehyun chuckles as he wipes the tears off your cheeks delicately.
âBecause I never thought there'd be a day where my best friend feels the same way as I do.â
âSo you love me too?â Jaehyun grins.
âOf course I do, you crazy, stupid man,â you say, as you lightly slap his shoulder before wiping the remnant of your tears away. âIâve been throwing signs everywhere since forever. Did you not pick up on them?â
âMe too Y/N! Did you not pick up on mine too?â
âOh. Well, I guess weâre both crazy and stupid then.â you pout, before Jaehyun pinches your cheeks. This is one of the things that Jaehyun loves about you, your silliness.
âYou're still crazier than me though.â
âHow so?â Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.
âYou quit your job, flew thousands of miles back here, just to tell me in person that you love me. Tell me thatâs not what a crazy person whoâs in love would do.â
âHey! That is not what I- ⊠Actually, that is kind of what I did.â
You shake your head and laugh, Jaehyun joining in with you, taking your hands with his and swaying it side to side gently. It's quiet again after a few moments, but Jaehyun continues to look at you with happiness on his face. You start to look anywhere but at him as you feel shy from his gaze.
âY/N?â His tone is a bit more serious this time.
âYeah?â looking at Jaehyun again.
âI will never leave you again, I promise. I know, I havenât kept a lot of my promises, but this is the ultimate promise of all promises.â You let out a chuckle at the last bit. âJust trust me, Y/N.â
You nodded at him. âOkay, I trust youâ
Jaehyun cups your cheeks with the palm of his hands. Heâs leaning in closer and closerâ
ding dong
You let out a small gasp and jump slightly from the sudden sound, wondering who on earth is at your door. You stare at the door for a moment, trying to think if you were expecting anyone at this time.
ding dong
Another door bell pulls you out of your thoughts.
When you go and open the door, there stands a young man all warmly dressed up with a helmet on his head, the mask on his face only makes you see his eyes.
âUh, can I help you?â
âYou ordered delivery?â the confused man holding up some brown bags. Though you canât really make out his expression, you can sense the annoyance through his voice.
Your eyes widen at the reminder. âOh shit, yeah, I did, sorryâ you take the bag out of his hands. A nervous laugh escapes your mouth. âI forgot about this, sorry, thank youâ The man walks back to his bike and rides away. You swear you saw him roll his eyes before he left.
You head to the kitchen and set the bags down on the dining table. Jaehyun following your steps behind you.
âSorry, um, were you going to say something?â You turn around, but not realising Jaehyun is right behind you which makes you jump a little.
âNot really, I was going to do this.â Jaehyun cups your cheeks and kisses you with so much passion and love.
You pull away from him, trying to catch your breath. âO-Oh o-okay, thatâs even better.â
âYouâre so cute when you get flustered.â Jaehyun snickers.
âI do not get flustered.â you protest to him, as you start taking out the food from the bags with a pout on your face. After a few seconds of silence, you mumble to yourself âItâs the 'Jeong Jaehyun effect' I supposeâ.
âWhat did you just say?â Jaehyun smirks.
âN-Nothing, nothing!â shaking your head and clearing your throat.
As soon as you put everything out, Jaehyun takes both your hands in his and pulls you in closer to him. Not even a space left between your bodies.
âI love you.â Jaehyun says as he looks at you with so much love in his eyes. Even if youâve heard those words from him before, thereâs something different about it now. Itâs like all his love for you from his heart and soul, is poured out onto those 3 words. It meant so much more to you both now.
You smile at him before tip-toeing slightly to give him a quick kiss on the lips. âI love you too.â You could feel yourself turning into a tomato after doing that. Jaehyunâs ears also turn the same shade.
âI know it might be a bit late but, Happy New Year, Y/Nâ
Shaking your head, âItâs never too late.â You remove your hands from Jaehyun before cupping the sides of his face, your thumbs rubbing his cheeks gently with his hands finding their way on your waist. He nuzzles against your touch. Both of you have the biggest smile on your face.
âWelcome home, Jaehyunâ
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