He's A Real Mad Lad
Part 1 of Meant to Be: A Heartbreak High fanfic
Reader POV
Synopsis: You get called down to the gym because of the incest map. Cash finds out you like him, and he likes you too.
Warnings: Swearing, suggestive language, fluff, drug use, makeout, spicy
Song: WITHOUT YOU by The Kid Laroi
🎵♥ you cut out a piece of me and now i bleed eternally ♥🎵
✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦
"Will the following students please come to the gym." A loud voice said over the intercom. I stopped talking to Quinni and Darren and listened.
"Darren Rivers."
"Quinni Gallagher-Jones."
"Sasha So."
"Spencer (Spider) White."
"Amerie Wadia."
"Harper McLean."
"Y/N L/N."
"Douglas Piggott."
"Dusty Reid."
There were more, but I didn't listen. I rolled my eyes and collected my backpack, heading to the gym. Darren and Quinni were close behind me.
You might think I'm weird. My two best friends are part of the LGBT society. Darren is queer and non-binary. Quinni is lesbian and autistic. But, I loved them more than anyone I had ever loved before.
I am aromantic. I made out with Sasha once, and have done multiple other things.
The door gym slammed behind me, and I looked around. Many of the students called were already sitting down.
"Seriously, Y/N, why do you have to wear such scandalous outfits?" The teacher asked. I looked down at myself.
Today, I was wearing leather shorts that barely covered my ass, and a hot pink cropped tank top that showed quite a bit of cleavage.
"All for the aesthetic, miss." I say sweetly. I walk past Cash, who, was biting his lip and staring at me. I blush.
I've had a crush on Cash since year 7. He was funny, but isolated, and when you got to know him, he opened up to you.
"Hey, Cash." I say, taking a seat beside him. His eyes move away from my chest.
"H-hey!" He says quickly, his face turning a dark shade of red. Darren sits on my other side, and Quinni sits beside him.
"So. The incest map." The teacher said, pulling up a photo. I groaned. Now the whole school knew what I had done and who I had done. I glanced at all the names connected to mine.
Y/N
wristy to Dusty
blowie to Spider
made out with Sasha
shagged Darren
loves Cash
Ok. I did give a wristy to Dusty, and I did blow Spider. I made out with Sasha and I do love Cash. But I did NOT shag Darren! He is my best friend and I would never, ever do anything with him. He's like a brother to me.
Cash nudges me.
"What about that, bruh?" He says, gesturing to the map.
"What, cunt?" I say.
"You love me?" He asks, smirking. I flipped him off.
Yes, for fucks sake. Yes.
✦✦✦✦✦
"You got any weed?" I ask Cash as we step outside of the school.
"Yeah, hold on a second." He says. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a joint.
"Thanks." I say, lighting it.
"Yep." He responds. I take a puff, and he steals it from me, taking a puff as well. I groan.
"Now it has all of your cooties on it!" I whine playfully.
"Come on. If I kissed you you would like that, wouldn't you?" He teases. I cross my arms.
"Ooh, I hit a sensitive spot, didn't I, bruh?" He asks, poking your shoulder.
"Shut up and go back to drug dealing, you cunt." I say. He shuts up. I smirk.
"Ooh, hit a sensitive spot, didn't I, bruh?" I mock, shaking my head. He laughs.
"You want to come over for a bit?" He asks. I gulp. I've never been to his house before, and I wasn't sure I wanted to.
Fuck. Of course I did.
"Yeah, sure." I say.
✦✦✦✦✦
"What the fuck is that? Is it alive?" I screech, gesturing towards the goose beside Cash's bed.
"No, he's a full mad lad. He's sick, go pet him." Cash says. I look at him, expecting him to crack up laughing, but his face is dead serious.
"No, thanks." I say, walking in the opposite direction.
He sits down on his couch, and pats the empty spot next to him.
"So. This is a legitimate question, bruh." Cash says, looking at you in the eyes.
"Mhm." I squeak, getting lost (once again) in his chocolate brown eyes.
"Do you love me?" He asks.
"What?" I question.
"Do. You. Love. Me." He asks slowly. I don't respond. I have a vivid image of myself riding him on this couch.
Cash grabs my chin.
"Y/N!" He says abruptly. I snap out of my daydream.
"Y-yeah!" I say.
"So you do love me!" He says, throwing his arms up in triumph.
"What? No, I just-" I start. But I hated lying.
"Yes. Since year 7. I just didn't want to tell you because we're good friends, I didn't want to ruin what we had." I say, fidgeting with my thumbs and looking straight into my lap.
"Oh, bruh. My bunny. Come here." Cash says, pulling me into a hug.
I giggle. "You smell good."
He smiles.
"I like you too. But since year 3." Cash says, turning red again.
"Ha! Really, though?" I say serious. Cash nods. I blush, turning away. My phone buzzed. I pick it up.
MOMMA: come home, sweetheart, you need to babysit your little sister
You: on my way
"Sorry, Cash, I've got some babysitting to do, I guess." I sigh, standing up off of his couch.
"Yeah! No, no problem." He says, leading me to the door. I was half way down his steps when he called me.
"Y/N..." He says. I turn around, and the moment I do, his lips land on mine gently. He pulls away, hesitant to go further, but I wrap my arms around his head and pull him close, smashing my lips onto his again.
He drags me back into the house, guiding me into his room and pushing me onto the bed. He lifts off his shirt and climbs back on top of me, his lips attaching to mine in a passionate kiss.
I pull on his hair, and he groans into my mouth. He grinds his hips into me, and I whimper.
His tongue, finds its way into my mouth, and my hands trail over his abs and chest as our tongues fight for dominance.
The makeout lasted quite a few minutes, until his grandma came in.
"You slut! Come! I made you some bread!" She says. Cash jumps and looks behind him.
"Nan! Get out!" He says.
"Ooh la la! She's a pretty one!" His nan says. She leaves, and Cash faces me again, kissing me gently once more. I laugh.
"She's such a cute old lady." I say, lifting myself off of Cash's bed. He smiles, putting his shirt back on.
"Yeah. But not as cute as you." He says, winking.
God. He's such a dork.
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i’ve seen a bunch of people talking how ignorant/bad darren’s reaction to cash refusing to have sex and later on informing them about his asexuality was, and i agree, it was a shitty response. however it needs to be adressed that darren’s view on sexuality and moreover sex in general stems directly from what they say later in the show - “i think i’m a hard person to love”.
from the first episode we see darren seems to have been slightly neglected by their parents - they lack understanding, diminish the problems and have failed in showing proper love or dedication for their child. darren gets shuffled around between their mom’s house to dad’s like they have to be hidden from their stepdad’s friends when they come over. that conclusively cements the feeling of not being wanted, even by their family.
darren seems to be filling that void with the thing they learned is the easiest way to make them feel wanted, which is sex. it isn’t outright addressed by the show but i don’t believe they have ever had a longterm romantic relation with someone. from what we see darren divides their relationships strictly into platonic (ex. amerie, quinni, for whom they open up more about their feelings) and sexual. at the map their name is amongst the ones that have the most arrows attached, they straightforwardly state that the longest they went without having sex is 2 months. darren had a lot sexual partners and they seem to change them quickly (examples being: their one time with ant, fling with the boy from the private school, hook-up with the guy at amerie’s party), not leaving much room for developing any emotions apart from desire. so when darren tries to seek out more from one of their partners - coming to his dorm, asking for shelter and getting turned down - in their head that’s proof that there is nothing else for them than being desired sexually.
that is why when cash starts showing interest in them they think he only wants to fuck them and when he says he doesn’t want that they think he doesn’t desire them, that he was joking/trying something out at their expense. they feel angry, betrayed that their usual sexual m.o. doesn’t apply here. because darren can’t fathom that they could be truly loved by somebody, wanted without being used to satisfy someone’s libido. and while they certainly really enjoy sex that’s also all that they’ve been reduced to by previous partners.
darren has definitely shown ignorance in regard of asexuality yet the underlying problem is not that they couldn’t have a relationship with cash without sex but that they can’t imagine themself without sex.
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heartbreak high rant - spoilers ahead
let me just start off by saying I absolutely love this show (have watched it twice already) and I cannot wait for season 2.
- this show is one of the rare ocassions where i adore the main character so fucking much - amerie is the main girlie of the main girlies.
- i love malakai and thats besides is charming smile and good looks. i think he's genuinely a very likable character and we also get to see his vulnerable side/insecurities and difficulties and i love that despite everything he's still a good guy.
- don't know if this is deemed unpopular but im my humble opinion dusty and harper were a good couple UNTIL they did what they did to malakai.. i do think they took advantage of him and honestly after that i could not stand to look at them at all.
- harper shouldve also eventually been held accountable for the map.
- i cannot lie and say i have any love for harper (in the beginning she was so annoying and did many fucked up things) but i do feel bad for what she went through with those boys and her father and i am glad she was finally able to open up and rekindle her friendship w amerie.
- spider should have stayed the way they depict him in the last episode cause he was sweet to amerie but I GUESS what happened in amerie's room was a punch at his ego so he started acting like a little bitch baby.
- CASH MY DEAR SWEET CHILD CASH!!! i want no hate towards this man or nothing had to ever happen to him. love him w my entire heart.
- cannot wait for more darren and cash in season 2 and i hope they can communicate more about they want, cash being ace and eachothers feelings.
- FUCK SASHA AND I HOPE QUINNI DOES NOT GIVE HER BITCH ASS ANOTHER CHANCE BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT DESERVE IT.
- i love quinni and daren's friendship so much. they are literally platonic soulmates.
- i feel bad for darren and their family situation - i feel like their parents should be there for them and show them that they care and shower them with the love they deserve!
- BACK TO THIS BITCH DUSTY. I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND HIM AND HIS COMMUNITY DICK HAVING ASS AT ALL.
- we need more of cash's nan in season 2 as well.
- the comedy and comedic timing in this show are golden and i found myself actually laughing as opposed to cringing as i usually do with shows that are geared towards gen z.
- ant i love him and he's funny but he needs better friends! lets get him on the malakai train and he can dump spider.
- OR we can get spider and ant less platonic more romantic iykyk (the scene in the office during the protest).
- for now though, i feel like amerie and malakai should stick to being friends, don't get me wrong i ship them but i think some space is what they need for now.
- MS. JOJO IS THE BEST UGH LOVE HER.
- did i mention i CANNOT stand dusty?
- srsly i cant.
- can we get malakai exploring his sexuality a bit more. thanks.
- missy's brother jai is an angel and i just wanna hug him.
- cash pls also drop your eshay friends!
- that's it? yea i think!
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