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#………… unless I am paid /j
evajellion · 5 months
Text
SMRPG AU where Smithy wins
OKAY HERE IT GOES-
So hypothetically, let's say Mario, Peach and Bowser just completely vanish after Exor crashes down. Either they straight up died or got isekai'd to Smithy's realm by accident, idk I will let the rest of you figure it out.
Years and years pass, Geno can't really get the Star Pieces without Mario and co. so… Smithy just, straight up takes over Star Road and lets his minions do whatever.
Here's what we thought up-
Smithy: Bowser's Castle was nice, but after learning what the Star Pieces did, Smithy went directly to the source and took over Star Road himself as its new overlord. He built an entire factory around it and over the years, is now known as "he who grants wishes".
Of course, much like the main villain in "Wish" (terrible movie btw), Smithy only grants wishes that he likes. He ignores wishes that are selfless or relevant to one's family, and only grants stuff relative to wealth, gain, or wanting to win.
It's less out of malice and more out of ignorance, really. He doesn't see any value in wanting things that have no material value or glory.
Mack/Claymorton: After ambushing the castle, Mack became the new ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, but he said the name was stupid and changed it to the Claymore Kingdom.
There are, a lot of parties, almost every week. He's a complete tyrant who threatens and torments the Toads to the point where the Chancellor actually wishes Bowser would come back. If he gets bored? He decides to wage war on another kingdom "for fun".
He's getting an ego about it too, which some joke is just "him compensating for his size".
Bowyer: Honestly no one has any clue what Bowyer does. Some treat him like an actual forest cryptid that haunts the maze because he's been in there so long. People who enter the forest now never come back.
Bowyer doesn't understand the concept of killing anyone really, so it's not like forest intruders are dead. He just thinks it's fun to play "freeze tag but you're frozen for good" with anyone who comes by. Essentially, it's all a hunting game to him.
He probably views all his immobile visitors as trophies more than anything else.
Yaridovich/Speardovich: Eventually, he succeeds in duping someone to fight Jonathan and takes the Star Piece for himself. Smithy grants him his promotion and he is made mayor of Seaside Town, and he is a captain of his own crew of Drill Bits.
Jonathan is none too happy about this and makes beef with Yaridovich every day over what he had done. Jonathan prides himself on being a good fighter, but unfortunately, Yaridovich fights dirty.
Eventially, Yaridovich made a habit out of pirating other incoming ships himself. He wonders if doing this will get more promotion from Smithy, but… Smithy seems to have been ignoring him.
Axem Rangers: After beating up the Czar Dragon, Smithy suggests they take care of Nimbus Land since it's "uncomfortably close for his liking". They immediately make themselves known by exposing Valentina's lies and kicking her out, inadvertently making them heroes.
Axem Red and Pink take a lot of pride in removing Valentina and being adored by residents of Nimbus Land, but Black isn't happy with it at all and wants to go back to causing chaos. Green is neutral about the whole thing.
Axem Yellow meanwhile, managed to turn Dodo to their side simply by calling the large bird a "good boy" and giving him legumes as a treat.
Boomer: He's the shogun of Bowser's Castle, but nothing more. He guards Exor as he always did, and commands Smithy's Army, striking down anyone who dare cross his lord.
However, he isn't exactly happy with his position. He knows not to question Smithy, so he just… remains quiet about it. At the very least, he's humored by Axem Red's new heroic personality.
But he also fears if Red will turn on Smithy since he's so bent on appearing as "hero" for Nimbus Land. Boomer dad moments. :')
Exor & Count Down: Stationary. Exor is happy but Count Down seems bitter he cannot do more, he's kind of stranded and stir crazy.
Cloaker & Domino: They moved out of Smithy's dimension (much to Count Down's further frustration/loneliness) and settled into Marrymore for… obvious reasons.
Smithy doesn't mind so long as they can distribute. Domino quickly took advantage by becoming the most well-known medicine/potion seller in the land, kinda like Fairy Godmother. Excuses to depict Domino in sexy business glasses for my one friend who thirsts for him lmao.
Factory Chief: A second factory was built up in Star Road, that Smithy had taken charge of, so the Chief is now fully in charge of the old one inside of Exor! He's pretty happy about it.
The Director's son (because he has one for some reason?) is also working in the new factory while his father, the Clerk, and the Manager remain in the old one with the Chief. They all seem very happy, but the Director's son wonders if what Smithy is doing is right…
Gunyolk: Not used to having brothers. He was created by the Chief exclusively, and is now being mass produced, but… he liked it when it was only him and "papa".
Hypnosis Priest: She resides in Star Hill, discarding of wishes that Smithy tossed out. Essentially, she turned the entirety of the Mushroom Kingdom into a cult that worships Smithy as their Star Road overlord, with her as the leader of it.
And that's all I got, hi, feel free to throw anymore suggestions!!! :D
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whiskingskin · 2 months
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Just really fighting the urge to cry at work rn because for the 3rd month in a row I am struggling with rent!!!!! I haven't gone grocery shopping in 6 weeks!!!! I am working as much as I can!! And it is still not enough!!!!!
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astonmartinii · 7 months
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i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏
angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
enemies to lovers blah blah blah
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others
yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo
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user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers
user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him
maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying
yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx
maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me
yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby
user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them
charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track
yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre
charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first
yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch
charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear
maxverstappen1: that can be arranged
user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿
carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with
yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)
carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant
landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.
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user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic
yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted
yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx
maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car
yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.
maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?
yourusername: blocked.
user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?
user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot
danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken
yourusername: easy to do with a model like me
charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one
yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer
charles_leclerc: what?
yourusername: what?
user10: does anyone want to elaborate?
carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !
yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍
user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others
yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x
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user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her
maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world
yourusername: you softy, i love you
maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER
yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?
maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off
yourusername: noted.
user17: yall want to share with the class?
user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos
user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected
carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful
user20: bro this guy STINKS
user19: i told yall
yourusername: thank you carlos
user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos
charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way
yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself
charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?
yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc
charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower
yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down
user22: DO YALL MIND?
user23: do they think we're dumb?
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others
charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?
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user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?
user25: well this is oddly timed ...
yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands
charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know
yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself
maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨
charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people
yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie
charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)
sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?
yourusername: sorry seb :(
charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(
user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics
user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo
user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭
pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE
charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar
maxverstappen1: he's lying i do
pierregasly: WHAT
charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice
user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL
user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes
user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others
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charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x
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user35: HOLY FUCK
user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord
yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child
charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?
yourusername: quite?
charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE
yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track
charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(
yourusername: but it's true, no?
charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more
maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it
user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years
sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now
maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?
sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious
yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3
user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad
yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad
charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle
maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together
charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)
carlossainz55: congrats guys
user39: it's okay bro you can cry
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x
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user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)
charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree
yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track
charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x
yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x
charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs
user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be
user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections
yourusername: oh it was very fun
charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol
maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys
yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us
maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers
user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?
maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out
charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?
maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma
yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x
note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx
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the-scythes-pen · 1 year
Text
Just a Little More
Alhaitham x Reader with a surprise guest at the end
Smut; fingering, exhibitionism, squirting.
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"Unless you want Kaveh to see you like this," a deep, husky voice rung in your ear, "then I suggest you keep quiet."
You had to hold back a breathy gasp as you felt the tips of Alhaitham's lithe fingers push the fabric of your panties between your folds, teasing your entrance with the material and the pressure of his fingers as he drags his pads slowly up and down your hole. You could already tell you were soaking wet.
"Ugh, I'm always the one to clean up around here!!" You could hear Kaveh shout from the kitchen, "and why am I always the one to have to cook dinner!? Why can't you cook for once?!"
Alhaitham paid no mind to the nagging from his roommate; instead, his chin rested upon your shoulder as he pressed his chest into your back, an arm around your waist to hold you still as his fingers danced along your sex. You yourself could barely listen to Kaveh; both hyper aware of his presence yet too lost in the bliss of feeling the Scribe's touch. Your mind felt muddled, foggy; too lost in the fog of arousal to really focus on anything except Alhaitham.
His fingers were splayed across your folds, pressing into you despite the delicate touch of his middle finger barely ghosting over your clothed clit. The tip of it running slow, wide circles just around the edge of the bud, obviously trying to draw out your need.
"'Haitham... please..." You managed to whisper. What you were asking for, whether it was for him to just touch you already or whether you wanted him to stop- you weren't sure. All the Scribe responded with was a hum; one of satisfaction and one of encouragement, as if to say "go on, tell me what you want".
You could hear the banging of pots and pans along with more irritated grumbling coming from the kitchen. You squirmed in Alhaitham's hold, your hands clawing at his forearms as you tried to steady your breathing and your mind.
"Please... J-Just touch me already..." You mumbled, desperately, and Alhaitham let out an amused huff before you felt his lips connect with the side of your neck and his fingers remove themselves from your sex. You almost whined when you felt his hand remove itself from under the waistband of your pants.
"If you want more, you're going to have to do it my way." He said huskily; his other arm now releasing your waist only for both his hands to find the waistband of your pants, thumbs hooking into both it and your panties before attempting to drag them downward.
"W-Wait-! Kaveh-"
"He'll be a while. He needs to be constantly watching the pot to make sure it turns out well. You'll be fine... unless of course, you want him to see you like this."
You shifted, unsure of how to proceed until you heard the water running from the sink in the kitchen. Surely Alhaitham would be merciful and let you finish quickly... right?
You bit your lip, lifting your hips up so the Scribe could pull down your pants and underwear. Except he didn't stop at your thighs, or your knees... He kept going, and before you knew it you were helping him pull your clothes completely off; your slick sex now exposed to the warm air of the living room.
"J-Just be quick..." You mumbled, to which the Scribe let out another hum before he readjusted you in his lap, putting your legs overtop of his to spread you open.
If Kaveh were to walk in, he would get the most perfect view of your wet pussy.
Alhaitham's arm snaked around your waist again to pull you flush against him, while his other hand returned to it's rightful place over your sex. A single finger rubbed overtop of your labia, dragging oh-so-deliciously up and down your folds as if to tease you into begging him to just fuck you already.
You nearly jolted in his grasp when you felt the pad of his finger push into the top of your slit, slipping past your folds to press into the erected bud that begged for attention. He spread apart your folds with his index and ring fingers, while the very tip of his middle finger ghosted around your clit in circles.
"Where did you even put the onions?!" Kaveh shouted from the kitchen. You could hear the sound of a knife on wood; the rhythmic chopping of ingredients complimenting the sound of a sizzling pot.
"Where I usually put them." Alhaitham responded coolly, as if he didn't have you spread wide open for anyone to see as he touched you so lewdly. You had to stifle a moan as you suddenly felt him push his finger harshly into your clit, suddenly rubbing intense circles into the bud.
Damned bastard wanted you to moan. To alert Kaveh to your predicament.
"They aren't there-! Oh, nevermind..."
And just like that, the Scribe's touch was gentle again. His middle finger back to barely touching you; merely a whisper of a touch around your clit. You whined at the sudden loss of stimulation, but Alhaitham was quick to rectify that. His fingerpad pushed back the hood of your clit, gently rubbing horizontally across the even more sensitive area at the base of the bud. You squirmed in his hold again, feeling your pussy ache to be filled.
"You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Not that I mind, I just didn't expect you to be this aroused just by me touching your clit." He said lowly into your ear, causing you to whine as he pushed his finger downwards to your entrance, collecting the slick that coated you before returning to the sensitive base of your clit.
"You're so wet for me, aren't you? Perhaps I should do this more often."
You couldn't help but continue to squirm, desperate for more stimulation then just the gentle touch of his finger. You wanted- needed more- so much more. Your hips bucked upward, causing Alhaitham to chuckle under his breath.
"You really are quite needy today, aren't you? Very well, I guess I can indulge you."
Suddenly his ring finger removed itself from the side of your cunt, joining his middle finger in rubbing over your entrance. Your breath halted as you anticipated the plunge of his fingers into your needy pussy.
"I know you're desperate, but try to keep quiet, would you?"
And just like that, his fingers were buried to the hilt between your walls. You could barely hold back your moan.
His fingers dragged themselves back out, the now slick pads running up your entrance and over your clit before pushing back downwards and back inside your cunt. He pushed them firmly against your upper wall, pushing them slowly deeper within you before dragging them back out again. This time, he didn't move to drag them over your clit, instead he pushed them back inside. Your cunt greedily sucked them in as if your life depended on it.
You could hear the sizzling and spitting of a boiling pot, and the muffled sound of Kaveh humming to himself as he cooked. Your walls clenched tighter around Alhaitham's fingers.
"I wonder what got you so worked up. Was it that I decided to take you here on the couch? Were you just that desperate for my attention? Or.... do you like the thought of Kaveh seeing you like this?"
Your eyes squeezed shut as your cunt betrayed your thoughts, squeezing around his fingers again at the thought.
"I wonder what he would say if he were to see you, his dear friend, spread open and being fingered like this..."
His fingers pushed faster into your messy cunt, now angling more upwards so he could repeatedly jab the tips into your g-spot. You let out a quiet moan as he progressively started to speed up.
"Do you think he would like to watch? Perhaps he'd even like to join? He hasn't brought home anyone since he moved in; I'm sure he's almost as desperate as you."
You couldn't help it- your mouth hung open as you let out strained gasps and moans. You tried to keep quiet, to keep your noises in check, but even if you managed to remain completely silent- the squelching of his thrusts into your wet pussy would have filled the quiet room regardless.
"Alhaitham-!" You whisper-shouted, "slower, it's too loud....!" Your fingernails dug into his forearms as your pussy clenched around him again.
"I don't see how that's my problem."
"Alhaitham-!" You let out a gasp, a loud one, as his pace sped up even more. The very top of his palm now laid flush against your clit, rubbing into it as he pounded into your spongy upper wall.
Fuck, he was going to make you cum hard. You could feel it building faster and faster with each passing second.
"When do you think (Y/N) will be here? Shouldn't they have arrived by now?" Kaveh shouted from the kitchen.
"Oh, I think they'll be cumming any minute now."
You would have scowled at the double entendre if you weren't so close; your body hanging on the very precipice of orgasm. You squirmed in Alhaitham's hold; you tried to keep your legs open despite how desperately they wanted to close, you tried to keep your desperate mewls in check lest Kaveh hear you, you tried-
Your ears perked up at the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway. You gasped, now clawing at Alhaitham's arm for him to stop lest you be discovered, your legs desperately trying to close but being pushed even wider apart as the Scribe pushed his own legs apart.
You squirmed, the footsteps just outside the doorway now, but your bucking hips and desperately fluttering pussy gave away just how close you were; as if each step Kaveh took to getting closer to seeing you was pushing you over the edge.
Alhaitham's fingers sped up, his entire arm now moving with the force of every thrust. There was no doubt that Kaveh could hear the wet clicking of your pussy from where he was now.
"Cum."
It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order.
"Hey, what's that-"
You squeezed your eyes shut as they met the ruby hues of Kaveh's; throwing your head to the side to avoid his gaze as you came hard around Alhaitham's fingers. The hand he had around your waist swiftly moved up to grab your jaw and forcefully turn your head back towards Kaveh; and your eyes peeked open just enough to see the stupefied look on the architect's face as he watched you cum. As he watched you squirt; the force of Alhaitham's thrusts causing the fluid to gush out of you and soak into the fabric of the sofa below you.
Kaveh's face went beet red. His eyes were locked on the way your cunt greedily took Alhaitham's fingers.
You panted hard, your body covered in sweat as you started to come down from such an intense high. You shut your eyes again to avoid Kaveh's embarrassing stare.... as if you didn't enjoy the way he seemed mesmerized by your intense and messy orgasm.
Alhaitham clicked his tongue as his fingers slowed their pace; his grip on your jaw loosening before falling back down to it's place on your waist, your head rolling back to rest on his shoulder. He made sure to drag out your orgasm as long as he could before he pulled his fingers out, accompanied by a click of his tongue in disapproval.
"You made a mess. See?"
Despite your exhaustion, you peeked your eyes open to see the Scribe spreading his fingers apart infront of you; covered in slick and cream and connected by strands of fluids.
His fingers danced before your eyes right over Kaveh's face.
You could feel the burn of your cheeks as you shut your eyes; trying your best to steady your racing heart and regain your ragged breath.
"Well? Are you going to stand there, or are you going to come take a closer look?"
Your eyes shot open at Alhaitham's words, your head lifting somewhat to get a better look at his roommate. You could see him gulp, his gaze shifting off to the side of the room. He was flustered, for sure, but you couldn't help the way your eyes drifted downwards to hover over the bulge that was steadily growing within his pants.
"U-Unlike you, I-I'm a gentleman, and I will only-"
"Kaveh..." You mumbled, eyes locked onto him as he met your gaze. He gulped again. That seemed to be all the permission he needed before he walked over to you; that adorable blush on his cheeks only darkening as he dropped to his knees before you.
His ruby eyes met your half lidded gaze, his jaw tightening momentarily before he dove forward- his tongue making contact with your creamy entrance, causing you to jerk your hips in shock.
....you don't think you'll be eating that dinner that Kaveh was preparing tonight.
Not once did he break eye contact. And you could feel Alhaitham's hands move to force your knees ever-further apart.
----------
kofi / comms open
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skippyangel16 · 5 months
Text
The Couple Next Door my thoughts…
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Link here for a ‘real’ review from that neck of woods👇
👏👏👏
👆This just about sums it up for me, a real review from a real paper not a paid promo success piece from Hello or channel 4 blowing its own trumpet. If you google the series IBMd has it rated 5.2/10 at the moment of writing. (Saying something is brilliant does not make it so, unless you want to brainwash. Kenneth springs to mind taking a whole year+ to talk up Belfast so he would finally get that Oscar for the not so outstanding Belfast 🙄)
The Guardian Nov 2023 promo it as The couple next door a sexy fantastic time …4 stars but then by the 3rd Dec it’s no longer raving about it with an honest review.👇
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/dec/03/the-couple-next-door-channel-4-swingers-thriller-review-slow-horses-3-arena-being-kae-tempest-the-doll-fctory?CMP=share_btn_link Barbara Ellen exert from review 3 Dec 2023 still the guardian…
Exert from link above by Barbara Ellen..
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Well for me TCND started off with a ‘OMG not again!’ for the opening shot. I said to hubby ‘I hate it when they do that!’. The second scene supposedly set in Leeds wtf? Why didn’t they find a more convincing housing estate…then (Sam) Danny picking up the washing machine…dear god it made me cringe and that’s just for starters!
Sam…I could not get past his ‘Yorkshire’ accent?… well he did his best, it came through well some of the time. It’s sad but production were aware they were not going to predominantly film in Yorkshire or substitute location with a suitable comparison so why the need for him to do a Yorkshire accent? They could have set this story anywhere. Why not let Sam do his normal Scottish accent ? Far more sexy! Bad decision imo.
I could go on…especially the ladies dress code for a casual UK BBQ, LMAO. For sure my neighbour and I need to up our game at our next one! Seductive dresses, tits out and heels on! Husbands can’t wait…🤣
Does it appear Sam was hired for his body?…absolutely! Is he typecast as the guy who does sex?…looks like it. If he wanted to up his stakes as a good actor imo this was not the project. Can he do chemistry with anyone but Caitriona?… barely, but this was his best effort so far. Sex scenes and build up no 🔥 for me. I found it more cringe so fast forward came into play. Seems Sam is okay with full nudity and grinding again so can’t wait for OL S8! No need for J&C sex scenes to be PG…
Continuity, script, direction, production…dear god did outlander do it?
Out of all the actors Jessica De Gouw (Becka) stood out with a consistent performance.
Gripping? Nah, wanted to give up many times but finally got past ep 3 and pace seemed to increase so eventually got to the end which was then suddenly abrupt.
I wanted to like it, but for me it was blah…should have been amazing! Fail is more down to script, direction and production, had a giggle most of the way through at the script and said wtf and why a lot? ….🤷‍♀️still they all had fun making it and got paid!
For those who thought it enjoyable and hot I am really pleased for you! Sex for sex sake came to my mind, script all over the place one minute quite good another that’s shit.
For me in the words of a true Yorkshire man…
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Maybe if I had a couple of wines with the cheese and knew it was not going to be a quality drama but a cheesy soap it would have gone down better.
Strikes me his fate in life is to be an alcohol god, that’s his true path…acting gave him his wife and family and that’s all he needs from it. It appears it’s not in his destiny for it to do anything more than that…🤷‍♀️JMHO
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So if you haven’t seen it and want to then I suggest lots of wine and lower your expectations to a tv movie or soap and you will probably enjoy it and think it’s better than it was…🤪
47 notes · View notes
wa-kaizen · 2 years
Text
What would your celebrity crush think of you? | PAC
If you don't have a celebrity crush or don't support - healthy - parasocial relationships please leave, don't bully the ones that do, this is clearly for them.
Now that the losers are out of the way - /j - hiii angels!! How have you been? I understand sometimes curiosity can get the best of you and I got you! Still, please don't take this seriously and apply it in a healthy manner. <3
Keep in mind your celebrity crush isn't always who they seem to be, so if you feel a little gloomy after this it's fine. If they are who you thought they would be, yay!
I am happy for you <3 You can think of anyone you wish, really.
PAID READINGS ♡ masterlist
→ 1 , 2 ,3
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→ 4, 5, 6
sections ༉˚
- do they have a strong image?
- how would they view you
- would they find your dreams interesting?
- dynamic between you two
꒰ welcome  ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:・゚
— have fun!
꒰ pile 1 ꒱
black and white sneakers
cards page of wands, six of swords, queen of wands, archangel jeremiel, archangel raziel, archangel fhelyai, elephant, llama, giraffe
- `, do they have a strong image? ꒱ ↷🖇
this section will answer the question 'are they really who you think they are?'! sometimes celebrities put on masks to hide their true personalities, it's understandable if you worry that you might have fallen to a fake image.
I want to help you calmly find out just how much of themselves they change!
I do think they are the person they show themselves to be, but behind closed doors there might be more arrogant and gloomy than you think?
Their ego is big, and while I feel like this is a good person they can be - excuse me for the wording - bit of an asshole at times.
- `, how they would view you ꒱ ↷🖇
Before I start this reading the six of swords tell me you will doubt me because you do not believe that your results are this positive, trust me. You might read too much into it and mix it with your own desires so this could be less than what you want but either way they would really view you in a positive way.
They would view you as this very intelligent and interesting person, who they think is cute.
Of course, they would find your appearance appealing, but it's more like your attitude, manner and body language that would catch their attention.
You might have a habit which you seem to do often, maybe something related to your hair?
For a lot of you this is tucking it behind your ear, this would make them smile like a fool.
I don't sense any negative feeling, if they would have the chance to see you more often they would probably develop a crush on you lmao. Not a serious one though, a really subtle and fragile one.
Don't! get sad over it. They would still think you are amazing, I saw flower patterns and pale pink, so they could think that pastel colours looks very beautiful on you.
What I noticed here for a lot of you this person is the polar opposite of you, it's kind of the sun and moon trope?
So, they would definitely adore how lively and good you are, how good and encouraging you can be, full of support.
You have things they lack in their personality and they wish they could have and achieve so they would cause a spark in them towards you.
- `, would they find your goals interesting? ꒱ ↷🖇
I am gonna be honest, they wouldn't really care-. Of course they would listen if you talk to them about it, but it wouldn't spark an interest in them as much as other aspects of you.
Such as your personality, or the way you live. They would think it's cool, but unless you mention it they wouldn't care.
While they would adore you and think you are attractive and magnetic they would also not have any sort of serious feelings towards you.
They would find your ambition motivational though, that would stand out to them and they would think it's really something not a people have to the level you possess it.
- `, dynamic ꒱ ↷🖇
Sun and the Moon! However the sun (you) would shine too bright over the moon, cause them to go into hiding.
This just means they wouldn't always be able to follow your energy or look at things from the way you do.
I feel like this person is a lot more mature than you are and therefore more realistic, they could get frustrated by your happy go lucky attitude and often not being able to take things seriously enough.
While you could be frustrated by them being cold and harsh in certain topics. They could handle some situations wrong in your eyes due to lack of empathy on their part.
Other than that it's a rather good and flirty connection? Nothing serious but a whole lot of good time.
If you two would actually know each other, they would love to make you shy, they would set up tiny goals in order to be able to do it.
They would pay a lot of attention to all the things that frustrate you - as in make you shy -.
They would be the dominant one. Do not look at that as a sexual statement, it could be in any situation given.
Thank you for your time as well as reading!
꒰ pile 2 ꒱
feminine figure sitting, wearing a blue button shirt with brown pants
cards nine of pentacles, the fool, the of swords, elephant, rabbit, dove, listen to your heart, ascension flames, bathe in pure love
- `, do they have a strong image? ꒱ ↷🖇
this section will answer the question 'are they really who you think they are?'! sometimes celebrities put on masks to hide their true personalities, it's understandable if you worry that you might have fallen to a fake image.
I want to help you calmly find out just how much of themselves they change!
They do have one, however I don't think they are able to keep to it so they just keep being themselves either consciously or not.
- `, how they would view you ꒱ ↷🖇
Hello, this person would be more delusional than you- 💀
No, jokes aside, I sensed so much love and adoration here. So much deep love and respect, almost as if they are the fan here and not you. It's pure deep exciting love here not gonna lie y'all. It's so cute.
They could find so much comfort in you!!!
Deadass, I can see their life being very busy in general, but your presence is calming to any human in general. It allows room for harmony and an atmosphere which can easily make one relax.
Do people easily fall asleep around you? Or in your lap? Because if so, I feel like this person could easily be one of them.
They would be GONE, sleeping deep like a new born baby.
Although I do feel a heavy amount of excitement and energy in here, you two would laugh a lot and could make rash decisions.
A lot of impulsive decisions would be made here. Nothing bad, all good intentions out of childish excitement that's blinded by happiness.
You know that typical sit com couple that makes a lot of bad decisions but always seem to be happy and get through everything because they see absolutely nothing but love? Now, whether this would be platonic or not, that's what's coming through here y'all.
You are the real celebrity here, congrats bestie, their mom will be hearing of you. /j
- `, would they find your goals interesting? ꒱ ↷🖇
Absolutely! You could describe the plans to a murder and they would go 'wow! so cool!! tell me more!!!'
They would love it because it comes from you tbh, even if its not something typically their thing they would take interest in it. Puppy love.
- `, dynamic ꒱ ↷🖇
Reminds be of Raven and Beast Boy from teen titans, someone that craves love and someone who is incredibly good in showing their love to who needs it.
Thank you for your time as well as reading!
꒰ pile 3 ꒱
high-school rom drama playing on a laptop with korean subs/texts over it
cards death, king of swords, two of wands, pig, kingfisher, owl, refreshing oasis, cosmic rainbow
- `, do they have a strong image? ꒱ ↷🖇
this section will answer the question 'are they really who you think they are?'! sometimes celebrities put on masks to hide their true personalities, it's understandable if you worry that you might have fallen to a fake image.
I want to help you calmly find out just how much of themselves they change!
They have a very specific image they are the complete opposite of.
For some of you they are an absolute complete asshole. A scum, while their image is a cheerful loving lovely person they are rude and down right immoral at times.
For the other half of you you will just be disappointed because they live a completely different life style than you.
- `, how they would view you ꒱ ↷🖇
Some of you will probably loose interest in your celebrity crush after reading this, so I apologise for that.
However as the cards suggest, they would not think of you as anyone special, and you wouldn't be someone who could catch their attention.
The feeling is very neutral, there is no care for you here, but there is also no strong negative feelings, just the don't care attitude.
I don't think they would have any kind of strong feelings for you, not platonic, not sexual, not romantic and not friendly.
Although, they would think that you are intelligent one way or another. That you are able to get your way into things, or around them.
They would not adore this about you, but acknowledge it as some kind of talent maybe? You are intelligent in a way most people could be lacking, or be jealous of.
The kind of intelligence types I am sensing among readers is artistic, academic and street smart. So everyone apply that however you can.
- `, would they find your goals interesting? ꒱ ↷🖇
I am sorry cutie but no- I do not think they would even pay attention to you enough to know what they are.
- `, dynamic ꒱ ↷🖇
There is none y'all-
Thank you for your time as well as reading!
꒰ pile 4 ꒱
little man in exist sign trying to run away ig
cards knight of swords, four of wands, the tower, mahatma energy, soul satisfaction, look for the signs, snake, hyena, tiger
- `, do they have a strong image? ꒱ ↷🖇
this section will answer the question 'are they really who you think they are?'! sometimes celebrities put on masks to hide their true personalities, it's understandable if you worry that you might have fallen to a fake image.
I want to help you calmly find out just how much of themselves they change!
You are charity work by liking this person. /j
They do have a very strong image which they might not always be able to maintain, but they are a lot worse than you would expect, you might be disgusted by them upon getting to know their true self.
- `, how they would view you ꒱ ↷🖇
I wanna say this person is 100% in a relationship currently, so read the following as you want.
They would absolutely be interested in you! Only sexually though, as I feel like they might look at appearance before anything?
They would certainly flirt in a bold way too, with words that would get the police called on them if they wouldn't be attractive. - I mean yeah, they are a scum, but pretty. -
They are not exactly a good person but know how to manipulate situations in order so they come out pretty well of them. Although, pretty soon they will probably get onto a scandal so watch out for them.
They are absolutely not how you would expect them to be, they would only care about your body and what you can offer to them.
Sorry this isn't the length you expected, but there isn't much to say.
- `, would they find your goals interesting? ꒱ ↷🖇
They wouldn't care about emotional connection on any kind of level.
- `, dynamic ꒱ ↷🖇
Beauty and the beast with no romance.
Thank you for your time as well as reading!
꒰ pile 5 ꒱
poem - ? - on top of clothing
cards the fool, the moon, king of cups, bat, raven, ladybug, bath in pure love, shower of blessings, the freedom of truth
- `, do they have a strong image? ꒱ ↷🖇
this section will answer the question 'are they really who you think they are?'! sometimes celebrities put on masks to hide their true personalities, it's understandable if you worry that you might have fallen to a fake image.
I want to help you calmly find out just how much of themselves they change!
AMAZING CARDS YALL!!! They are even better than you would expect them to be! I feel like their attitude is way better than what their image shows them to be.
This is mainly to their reputation and the hate they receive, but they are definitely someone amazing! Tbh they are a good person.
- `, how they would view you ꒱ ↷🖇
As someone smart who knows what they want and need in life! Someone who isn't afraid to stand up for themselves and truly be who they are.
This is more in a friendly manner though!
Do you have a lot in common with this person? I feel like you do. So if you ever meet them and the situation is appropriate for it, strike up a conversation.
Tbh I feel like it would be really nice between y'all. Definitely better than you would expect.
A very harmonious and friendly aura. I saw a vision and the body language showed deep focus and honesty, a very good pairing mood wise.
While they would not find you romantically interesting, they would definitely find you interesting and as someone they would willingly focus their time on.
No negative feelings here, all good mind, two minds who are so similar they are almost the same.
So so much time, no regret with the time spent focusing on each other? Like two childhood friends catching up! Really chill vibes.
- `, would they find your goals interesting? ꒱ ↷🖇
Absolutely! They would have genuine interest in it! - Unlike the other piles where there was no real interest out of curiosity but due to their own feelings. -
- `, dynamic ꒱ ↷🖇
The dynamic reminds me of 'best friend' by Doja Cat! So do what you want with that.
Thank you for your time as well as reading!
꒰ pile 6 ꒱
girl surrounded by water bottles
cards the hanged man, eight of wands, seven of pentacles, rainbow dragon, magenta dragon, alpha dragon, archangel christine, archangel joules, archangel zadkiel
- `, do they have a strong image? ꒱ ↷🖇
this section will answer the question 'are they really who you think they are?'! sometimes celebrities put on masks to hide their true personalities, it's understandable if you worry that you might have fallen to a fake image.
I want to help you calmly find out just how much of themselves they change!
Yes, however they do not differ from the image they have expect a few tiny differences that don't matter much anyway.
- `, how they would view you ꒱ ↷🖇
Y'all I know some of you will hate what I will say next, but unless your celebrity crush is dead or inactive the hanged man combined with the eight of wands states that they are either aromatic or asexual.
I have pulled out my dragon deck instead of the animal one to see if we will get a rainbow dragon, and we did y'all-
Of course we can argue that they also have zero attraction towards your gender as well.
All possibilities taken into consideration, even if they are capable of feeling romance or sexual pleasure, they wouldn't feel any of it towards you. - I can see some of you being shocked or offended, it's hilarious. -
That doesn't mean they would be cold towards you! They would very much be friendly - not wanting to be friends, but they would be friendly - and be very polite to you!
They would view you in a generic way, a nice one! No negativity here.
They would also find you very pretty, do you have very pleasant features?
Your smile and nose must be very pretty, they would find both aesthetically pleasing.
There is a feeling of far away admiration from both sides, only difference is you might want to get close while they prefer to keep to themselves and not interact much with you.
- `, would they find your goals interesting? ꒱ ↷🖇
Definitely! Just no deep sense of administration, but they would find it good for generic conversations which can widen their horizons and views on life.
- `, dynamic ꒱ ↷🖇
Light and Misa, you being Misa. Light is more cruel than them though.
Thank you for your time as well as reading!
783 notes · View notes
elflock-magician · 10 months
Text
"Haunted House!"
Summary - After the second case, the third floor is revealed to have a Haunted House in it. Veronika immediately takes advantage of this, and with the help of J, Rose, and Whit, she puts it into action. Much to the dismay of some of her classmates. (this is kinda fluff? I think?)
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Tw - There’s some vague mentions of violence, mild body horror mentioned for one of Veronika's stories, and some mentions of dry heaving at the end. 
-
“Welcome one, welcome all!” Veronika called out happily as she stood at the opening of the haunted house. “Welcome to Veronika’s Haunted House!!” She said enthusiastically. “AHEM!” J’s voice called out over the intercom. J was doing all of the special effects and such for the Haunted House, meaning she also had control of the intercom. 
“Yes yes, with help from the wonderful J, Rose, and Whit!” Veronika added and took a little bow. Veronika’s peers stood outside of the Haunted House. Veronika was also wearing a black suit that sort of broke into a dress of sorts. “MonoTV really screwed us all with this one.” Teruko muttered.
“C’mon, don’t be like that Teruko! It could be fun!” Eden protested and smiled. 
“Indeed. Veronika and her lovely helpers put a lot of work into preparing this event. You should all be excited, it was made for you all.” Hu stated and smiled slightly.
“Well, if it is a work of Miss Rosales, then of course I must go and experience it!” Arturo stated and began to approach the front doors.
“Yes yes, that’s the spirit! Come along, I’ll be your guide.” Veronika said and gestured for the group. “Wait– Whit,” Charles turned to Whit, “You helped plan this all, correct? Does this have any… you know…” His voice trailed off a bit. “Fake blood? Course not! Does fake blood even trigger your fear?” Whit asked and tilted his head. “I’m not the most sure, and I do not plan on finding out at any time soon.” Charles replied coldly. “Yes, alright, get your bearings before we enter!” Veronika said and awaited them to get better.
“A… H-Haunted House…? H-Haunted?! B-By ghosts?!” Ace called out and nervously started nibbling on his fingers. 
“The ghosts aren’t real, you fucking idiot.” David commented. David still looked just as sad and pathetic as any other day.
“Hey! I wasn’t talking to you, asshole!” Ace shouted as his head snapped in the direction of David. 
“Try not to burst a blood vessel. Or even better, try not to get a heart attack and die from the cardboard cutout zombies in there.” David said and smirked before laughing at Ace. “Eat shit and die! I’ll go through there, and not die! I’ll show you!” Ace shouted, David having provoked his pretty competitive nature. Ace boldly strode up to the front door of the Haunted House. “Ace, now don’t get ahead of yourself.” Levi muttered and followed after Ace. “Well Davey? Are you going to along with us?” Veronika asked and looked to David. “Am I getting paid?” David muttered. “Getting paid?” Veronika began, sounding slightly confused. But then her eyes lit up, “Oh right! Because you think humanity is pointless and corrupt, so you appeal to that belief and refuse to do anything unless it benefits you! And especially now that you’re no longer acting.” Veronika analyzed and leaned into her hands as she dissected David’s character. “Wow. How many wikipedia pages did you have to read to come to that conclusion?” David mumbled. 
Whit and Charles approached the door, but Whit then suddenly leaned closer to Veronika. “Hey, maybe it’s for the better if David doesn’t tag along. The guys… A little.” Whit began speaking but his voice trailed off. 
“Interesting! No, very interesting! Besides, this will be great for my character analysis.” Veronika replied before approaching David and yanking him to the door. “Hey!” He yelped, “Hands off!” He shouted. But he was ultimately ignored by Veronika. 
Nico stared at the door. They seemed to really want to go along with everyone else, but also didn’t want to get too scared. “Are you alright hon?” Hu asked and checked on Nico.
“Y-Yeah, I’m alright.” Nico commented. Hu seemed to notice Nico’s worry. “You know, Nico, if you do not want to go, I wouldn’t mind staying back with you.” Hu offered.
“N-No, it’s okay! I want to go. But…” Nico’s voice trailed off a bit, “Just a little scared.” They added. Hu smiled empathetically. 
“Well, that’s alright. If you get scared I’ll be right by your side the entire time. No need to worry. Besides, if something bad really does happen, then I’ll have Teruko and Eden protect you.” Hu said and giggled a little at that as she and Nico looked over at the two. “Isn’t that right?” Hu added. “...Huh?” Teruko replied and raised an eyebrow before rolling her eyes a bit, “No promises, but sure. I’ll try.” She muttered.
“Of course we will!” Eden called out. She approached Nico and put her arm around them. “This’ll be lots of fun!” She called out. 
“Well, is everybody ready?” Veronika called out and smiled. 
“I guess.” Teruko answered. “Mhm!” Eden agreed excitedly. “Let’s just get this over with.” David grumbled and rolled his eyes, doing that gun motion to his head again.
“Let’s hurry up and fucking go!” Ace urged. Veronika giggled. “It seems like everyone is ready! So let’s go on ahead then. No reason to keep the darkness waiting.” Veronika said as her expression darkened, and yet her smile growing more wide. “N-Ngh…” Nico slightly whimpered at that. Veronika swung the doors open. The haunted house was frighteningly dark, the only light coming from a few candles that were lit. “Don’t worry, I’ll lead the way.” Veronika stated as she led the group down the dark hallway. “Now, let me tell you all a story. I call this story… Ravenway.” She began. The hallway had the look of stone walls, with black fathers that slowly became more and more abundant as they walked further down. And the ground soon became decorated with a fake train track. 
“Ravenway? Awe! Is it a story about a cute bird?” Eden asked excitedly. “This is a Haunted House, Eden. We wouldn’t be hearing about it if it was.” Teruko muttered. “Well, allow me to answer all of your queries! And tell the story of Ravenway.” Veronika began. She turned her back to the group as she walked. “The raven has always been a symbol of death and coming doom. Ever since the sacred poem- ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allen Poe.” Veronika began. “But one story of a raven has stuck out since the 1800’s… Stories of people seeing a mutant… human sized, flesh sack with the head of a raven hastily crafted together on it, and covered in feathers. The feathers of the bird would be left wherever it went. And people would see this raven, only glimpses of it every day. But every day, the raven would slip closer to them, and leave more and more feathers.” Veronika explained.
CA-CAW!!
“W-Wah!” Nico called out. They didn’t seem very scared by the story, but rather the loud sound that protruded the air from the intercom.
“GAHA!” Ace screamed out and latched onto Levi. Levi seemed caught off guard by the touch and didn’t really know how to react, and just opted to awkwardly let Ace hold onto him.
Veronika chuckled at that. 
Charles seemed to be paying attention, the story getting in his head, and he seemed fairly invested, which Whit slightly smiled at. 
“A-And what happens when the raven keeps getting closer?” Eden stuttered out, taking it very seriously. 
“Well, my friends, no matter how far you run and no matter how hard you try and hide… The raven will find you. And when it does, it’s said that all you hear is the raven’s call before you are never heard from again. Once you see the raven once, that’s the end of you. You die no matter what. As you try desperately to escape the raven, you may end up on train tracks, or perhaps on the edge of the roof. All of the victims are found with raven’s feathers stuffed into their stomachs.” Veronika reached the end of the hallway, and snuck her hand behind her, and pressed a button that was hidden beneath some of the feathers on the wall. She clicked the button, and a trap-door in the roof opened, and from it, a terrifying replication of the described raven was hung. “GaaHH!” Ace screamed again and continued to hold onto Levi’s arm. “You scream like a prissy.” David commented on Ace’s scream.
“What beautiful effects! This must be the work of Miss Rosales.” Arturo stated and made That Face (you know the one) at the very thought.
“Oh my!” Hu seemed startled, before chuckling. “How clever.” She stated.
“If that were me, I could totally get the raven to be my bud. We’d be gossip besties.” Whit said and shrugged a bit. “Y-Yeah! That’s the spirit, Whit!” Eden agreed. “How do you know that the raven even talks? There’s a good chance it would just ignore you, you know!” Charles replied. “You don’t need to talk to communicate. I’d make ‘em tea and everything.” Whit said. 
“That sounds more like hallucinations than anything. There’s no way that’s real.” Charles stated, though Charles was very clearly invested. 
“Wh-WHAT?!? I-Is there no way to stop it?! I-If you see it- is that it? BOOM! Dead? Oh fuck oh fuck- like totally fate fucking sealed?” Ace questioned, still latching onto Levi like he was his lifeline. “Indeed. But when has there ever been an escape of death?” Veronika replied before giggling.  
“W-Wow… That’s pretty interesting! Can you tell us more?” Nico asked, genuinely really interested in where the legend was going. 
“How about another story?” Veronika offered as they turned the corner, and Veronika pulled a black curtain out of the way, revealing a staircase. She then went ahead and began going up the stairs. “It’s called Cymbal Bunny Head Smasher.” Veronika said, her voice darkening. “Well they sound friendly.” Teruko muttered. Various ‘thud’ sounds protruded the air as the group went up the stairs. 
“Cymbal Bunny Head Smasher is the story of a giant, robotic bunny animatronic. One who’s code was hacked into. And one day, during a children’s party, Cymbal Bunny’s cymbals began to smash together.” Veronika began to explain. As the group walked down the hallway, the room was themed after a children’s sort of party room. But there were fake children corpses placed variously around the room. And thankfully, for Charles’ sake, bloodless. 
“And the Cymbal Bunny animatronic began to move towards the children. Loud thuds followed each of their footsteps. And the sound of the cymbals smacking together was heard.” Veronika continued. CLASH thud CLASH thud CLASH thud
The described sound of the bunny’s loud footsteps and the clashing of the cymbals was played over the intercom. 
“All until the Cymbal Bunny got too close to the children, and the Cymbal Bunny stuck the heads of it’s little victims right in between it’s clashing clashing cymbals! Hehehahah!” Veronika giggled manically at the thought. “It’s so terrifyingly gross!” She added. “Ngaaah!” Ace groaned and put his hands over his ears. Levi put his arm around him.
“Wait wait, let me guess,” Charles began, “Now a bunch of cymbal sounds are going to plAY–gaH!” Charles called out in fear as he was indeed right, and the familiar cymbal sounds played.
The walls of the room were shaken as the cymbal sounds played, implying that the Cymbal Bunny animatronic was breaking down the walls or something. “Clever right? I made that story up, so you don’t gotta worry about it being real.” Whit said and vaguely tapped Charles on the shoulder. “YOU, Whit Young, thought of that?” Teruko questioned, even she seemed surprised that Whit was capable of that. 
“G-Gosh… I’ll never go around animatronics again!” Eden called out.
“...Five Nights at Freddy’s?” Nico muttered quietly. 
“Ah, your fear fuels me. Now why don’t we do one more story to close off for tonight? This one I like to call… Zombieland.” Veronika said. She giggled excitedly, “Now this one is my favorite. So pay attention!~” She said. “Zombieland…? You mean like Zombieland Saga? The cute Idol Anime??” Eden called out excitedly. 
“I’d suppose you’d hope for that. But no, dear Eden, no.” Veronika replied and was still smiling ear to ear. Veronika led the group up another set of stairs. This next area was far more open compared to the narrow hallways from before. Yet they were still boxed in by wooden gates. The room was resembling a farm’s sort of field at night, a fake moon hung up in the corner of the room.
“The story of Zombieland…” Veronika began, “It takes place in a small, small town in Missouri, but after Zombieland, some call that place just Misery.” Veronika cackled at her own joke. “Just get on with it!” David shouted. “It’s fun to watch you all shit your pants over nothing, but this is getting boring.” He grumbled. 
“Yes yes… Well, an acidic chemical had slipped into the water stream after a horrible accident… And slowly, one by one, people began to go crazy, and become violence-craving due to the chemicals in the water… Practically turning the people into zombies!” Veronika exclaimed. “And slowly, everyone began to get infected. And the chemicals got into the rain. And sooner than later, things only got worse! The situation was utterly hopeless- absolutely full of despair.” Veronika explained. “Everyone began to rot away as the rain turned acid burnt away their flesh! And yet that did not stop them as they craved violence!” She continued, smiling ear to ear. “The only survivors were forced to hide away in places like schools, cars, and apartments. But no doors and no walls can keep the hordes off for long. There is no one to go to and nowhere to hide.” She stated. “That is terrifying…” Levi muttered, he himself seeming a little scared by this one. “Having no where to go… How absolutely horrific…” He mumbled. “You guys can’t actually be taking this seriously…” Teruko face palmed as she said that. “Oh they totally are!” Whit called out and giggled. Charles was invested and was trying to find a way to disprove it. 
“That’s impossible.” Charles spoke up. “Any chemical that could impact the brain that much would simply end the victim in a few hours.” He stated. Eden perked up before sighing in relief. “Thanks Charles… You’re definitely making us more comfortable.” Eden thanked genuinely. “What? I wasn’t–” He searched for words, Charles feeling slightly afraid to just… accept gratitude. “...You’re welcome.” He stated simply beneath his breath. 
“Some say that the left-overs from that accident are still roaming today.” Veronika said and smirked almost evilly. The group reached the end of the hallway. Veronika had her hands up, waiting for something to happen. There was a long silence as nothing happened. Veronika tilted her head a bit as her smile faded. “I said… Some say that the left-overs from that accident are still roaming today!” Veronika repeated, simply louder this time, though her excitement did not fade.
Suddenly, J’s voice came back on over the intercom:
“Ugh! You’ve gotta be joking…” J muttered. “Rose! Wake up! Do your part!” J screamed into the microphone. 
“W-Wah!” The familiar voice of Rose called out from behind a curtain. “Oops. My bad.” Rose muttered before emerging from behind the curtain. She had on very good zombie make-up, more than likely done by Veronika.
“BllaHHhh!” Rose let out some sort of half-hearted cry as she leaned over the wooden gate, shaking it a bit, trying to scare them. “W-Woah!” Eden called out and recoiled back. “Awe! How cute.” Hu said and put a hand to her chin and smiled at Rose. 
“F-Fuck! Holy fuck! Shit!” Ace whined out at the sight of Rose’s bad acting. Ace was pretty easily tricked by that. “SHIT! Z-Zombie!” He screamed. Poor Levi was now sandwiched between Eden and Ace, and Levi himself semed a little off-put by the act.
“Tehehehe!” Veronika giggled at that. “Wow. This is somehow worse than I could have even imagined. It’s almost funny.” David mumbled. “Calm down Eden, you’re gonna burst a blood vessel.” Teruko said and pat Eden on the shoulder. Eden took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “You’re right, Teruko.” Eden said. She shut her eyes and calmed down a bit before opened them again. She recoiled back, startled again.
“Oh gosh! It’s another zombie!” Eden cried out and pointed into a darker part of the area, where a set of yellow eyes were seen. This zombie, not being Rose, was standing in the dark. But suddenly, the person the eyes belonged to stepped out of the darkness.
“It’s just me, you dumb fuck!” David hissed, his voice drenched in venom before stalking off ahead.
“Sorry bro, but you can’t blame her, you do look kinda dead!” Whit agreed. David simply rolled his eyes. He was clearly only there to watch them suffer.
Veronika coughed into her hand, calling the attention back to herself. “Now, where were we?” She asked no one but herself. “Ah yes… But some say that the chemical is still going around. And that one day soon, so very soon, there may be a repeat of history.” She said, her voice darkening into a low whisper. 
And suddenly, the lights flashed, and a hologram was projected across the room. The hologram was of various undeads, courtesy of J and her special effects talent.
“What wonderful quality!” Arturo called out, immediately taking the chance to praise J. “Waahah!” Eden cried out and hid behind Teruko, who just seemed to be confused. Ace looked like he was about to pass out, and the only reason he wasn’t on the ground was because Levi was now holding him up a bit.
“How… violent…” Charles murmured at the sight. “S-Still impossible.” He insisted. 
David stared at the effect right in the face. “See, this. This is why I hate humanity.” David stated offhandedly as he walked right through the CGI hologram creatures to the exit. He walked past Veronika and pressed the door open, revealing the light of day. 
“Ah, well that’s all, folks! I hope you’ve all enjoyed this journey!” Veronika said and smiled brightly and yet sincerely. Veronika turned to the fourth wall, “Especially you all.” She added.
-
Everyone had ended up leaving and going outside. 
Ace was sitting on the steps of the Haunted House and was hunched over a trashcan given to him by Hu, while dry-heaving from how nervous the Haunted House made him. Levi was gently patting him on the back and holding back his hair for him.
Nico was asking Veronika a bunch of questions about the legends, becoming quite enthralled in it. Rose was sitting on the stairs as well, with Hu removing the make-up from her face. J was excitedly and proudly explaining the effects she used to Eden, Teruko, and Arturo. David had just left. Whit and Charles were just debating on if they could actually survive any of the scenarios, Charles using facts and logic, while Whit was still somehow winning the debate?
Veronika stood outside of her Haunted House and seemed very proud of her work. 
A/N - Been writing a lot of angst recently so I just wanted to write about these little guys shivering in their timbers a bit. Today is Day Two of writing DRDT fics until I just can’t anymore and so far: light work, no reaction. Easy as pie. Simple. Silly.
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I have more brainrot but its on Al Haitham because uhh
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30 pity for Al Haitham and I randomly got his weapon when pulling for Jade Spear. He must like me.
Imagine Al Haitham being an Abyssal Legacy, most likely from a knowledge capsule gone wrong at one point and he is stuck in his new form. I headcanon him as Autistic bc Im Autistic and my word is law /j.
But he absolutely DETESTES his heightned sense of hearing now. He used to be able to wear soundproof headphones with adjustable settings but now they cant even fit on his head. Of course he went straight to the traveller who took him straight to you, the alledged "abyssmal tamer". In reality you just attract them like a magnet unwarrented. you help Al Haitham adjust until he obtains his human form back and feed him snacks. Childe took some time getting used to the new Roommate but understood Al Haitham was here because he wanted help from you.
Eventually the problem was fixed and Al Haitham paid you handsomely for the caretaking but also your silence about the whole thing...nobody needs to know how much he loves cuddles and bed time stories.
Kaveh was not used to the silence so when he asked Al Haitham the only response was "I had a slight detour when it came to some of the knowledge capsules"
I have like no more brain juice Im sorry
aaaaa my dear i am so sorry for how long this took to answer ;-;;;;
i can just imagine you opening the door to see a sheepish Traveler, a confused Paimon, and a VERY irritated Abyss monster, and without a word you simply sigh and usher them all inside. Childe immediately approaches when you sit on the couch, curling up by your side and casting curious glances at the new Abyss creature in the house, who the Traveler tells you is called "Alhaitham". they ramble on and on about how they'd really appreciate it if you took him in, and how they'd make sure you'd be paid handsomely, and it's be really helpful of you to do, and you simply not idly before clearing your throat
"What does he think about it?"
Alhaitham blinks in surprise, tilting his head in consideration. you're quiet, perhaps purposefully so, always keeping your voice soft and light, especially when the other Abyss monster- Childe- was near you, and you seem to be kind enough, if a little tired. but does he really want to live with essentially two strangers until this whole situation is resolved?
Paimon yells in his ear, and Alhaitham decides that yes, yes he does
he acclimates fairly quickly to a new lifestyle in your home- for the most part, you and Childe leave him alone unless he needs you, and you take it upon yourself to provide as many books as you can find in your house. Childe is another variant of his kind- albeit permanently so- and occasionally chats with Alhaitham through a language of chirps and trills, even going so far as to share your lap (the best pillow ever) with him when thunderstorms are particularly loud. sometimes Alhaitham sees you working on some type of project, but whenever he clicks curiously you simply smile and put a finger to your lips
a few weeks later he finds a pair of soundproof headphones on his bed, specifically made for his new form
Alhaitham's really not clingy, he only seeks your touch when it's thundering outside or if there's something loud like fireworks, but occasionally he'll spot you and Childe together on the couch and silently sneak over to join you- which of course he'll NEVER admit when he turns back into a human. he does apologize for the trouble, but you just smile and wave, Childe standing behind you and chirping goodbye, saying that you're used to it and showing him a map back to Sumeru
and the moment he steps into the city he's bombarded by questions from his friends and colleagues, and he almost wants to turn right around and head back to the peace and quiet of your house
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idyllic-affections · 8 months
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i, for one, would love to hear your queer harbinger hcs! my personal favourite is transmasc wanderer (its practically canon to me)
side note, im not sure if ill be sending alot of asks, but can i be 🐌 anon?
YAY omg... okay i will gladly share my queer harbinger hcs because i have a hard time believing that any of those people are both cis and het! and yes of course... hello 🐌 anon <3 also @zeldadou, i know you were also interested in seeing my hcs!
this doesn't include all the harbingers. as of right now, these are just my major and more detailed lgbt+ headcanons. slight nsfw but not really? just brief discussions of sexual attraction and how it relates to the harbingers' identities.
dottore never paid any thought to his identity, since it didn't benefit or affect him at all (especially back in his akademiya days), but he is very very much attracted exclusively to men in my brain. yeah he went on a date with a girl, but... you know. he also murdered her. so. yeah... also he's demisexual; he just does not feel any sexual desire unless it is directed towards someone he deeply cares about and has a strong bond with. he and pantalone are married, trust me fr /j /lh
columbina is genderless (she/it pronoun user) and lesbian. her angel motifs make me feel like it has no gender at all. after all... angels are eldritch. demons are reflections of human sin, but angels? they were never human. that is how i, as a writer, see the differences between angels and demons. so columbina, in my silly little brain, is genderless. or agender. or voidgender/gendervoid. who knows? but it has not a single ounce of gender in her body.
arlecchino is non-binary & lesbian. she likes women. who can blame her tbh.... she also has no pronoun preference and just presents in a more masc way to her underlings & her orphans (hence why they call her father, and why her underlings call her lord rather than lady if i recall correctly. also yes i am a short hair arlecchino enthusiast).
scara is transmasc & asexual. i know, i'm bold for saying that he's ace LMAO but fr, as of right now, i see him as asexual. i don't know why. i don't have a real reason for this one. however, i can explain him being trans--ei modeled him after herself, so... yeah. you guys see where i'm going with that one? yeahh he's transmasc i just know it 💥💥💥
pantalone is transmasc, demisexual, & demiromantic. why is he transmasc? i don't know. i don't have a real reason. i just feel it in my heart! his gender presentation is very androgynous and can be either masc or fem leaning--he's just secure in his identity like that yknow.... but i can explain why he is demi. being the richest man in teyvat, he obviously has to worry about being used for his mora. his attraction to people he doesn't have a very deep conmection with has generally faded since he's gotten to where he is in life.
childe is bisexual, but he doesn't 100% realize it yet! he's still in the closet. all his coworkers can tell, though. they know.
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thehorrortree · 4 months
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Deadline: March 15th, 2024 Payment: US 4¢/word rounded up to nearest dollar; minimum US $4, maximum $25 Theme: Dragons Eye to the Telescope 52, Dragons, will be edited by J. D. Harlock. Even though no one can agree on what exactly dragons are, nearly every culture has mythologized them in some way. From their size to their design to their abilities to their origins, tales of dragons are as diverse as humanity itself, with some of the earliest poetry in the English language revolving around them, reinventing what dragons were perceived as for the time. In this dragon-themed call, we want your take on dragons. Feel free to draw from traditions outside the predominant Western narrative to develop an original take on these fearsome creatures or introduce under-appreciated interpretations from your own cultures. Not only can you twist the idea of what dragons are as you see fit, but you can place them in genres outside of traditional fantasy, where they have often been underutilized or absent. Poetry that rhymes is more than welcome, and I'm open to a genre approach to submissions as much as I am to a literary one! Submission Guidelines SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS Use the form at bit.ly/SFPAettt52 to submit. Please submit 1–3 unpublished poems in English (ideally, attached as .docx or .txt) and include a short bio. Translations from other languages are acceptable with the permission of the original poet (unless public domain). Inquiries only to [email protected] with “ETTT” in the subject line. Deadline: March 15. The issue will appear on April 15, 2024. Payment and rights Accepted poems will be paid for at the following rate: US 4¢/word rounded up to nearest dollar; minimum US $4, maximum $25. Payment is on publication. The Science Fiction & Fantasy Poetry Association normally uses PayPal to pay poets, but can also send checks. Eye to the Telescope is an online publication. Therefore, First Electronic Rights (for original unpublished poems) are being sought. Who can submit? Any human writing speculative poetry. Please no AI-generated works or AI-human collaborations. What is Speculative Poetry? Speculative poetry is poetry which falls within the genres of science fiction, fantasy, and supernatural horror, plus some related genres such as magic realism, metafiction, and fabulation. It is not easy to give precise definitions, partly because many of these genres are framed in term of fiction rather than poetry. A good starting point is “About Science Fiction Poetry” by Suzette Haden Elgin, the founder of the Science Fiction Poetry Association. Despite its title, this article is applicable to all forms of speculative poetry. Tim Jones, editor of Issue 2, had a go at defining science fiction poetry on his blog, in two parts (These blog posts date from 2009, and the Voyagers anthology has since been published. These posts do refer specifically to science fiction poetry, rather than the broader field of speculative poetry.): timjonesbooks.co.nz/2009/02/08/what-is-science-fiction-poetry-part-1-definition/ .timjonesbooks.co.nz/2009/02/15/what-is-science-fiction-poetry-part-2-history/ What Is the Science Fiction & Fantasy Poetry Association (SFPA)? As the SFPA says on its website at sfpoetry.com, “The Science Fiction Poetry Association was founded in 1978 to bring together poets and readers interested in science fiction poetry. What is sf poetry? You know what they say about definitions—everybody has one. To be sure, it is poetry (we’ll leave that definition to you), but it’s poetry with some element of speculation—usually science fiction, fantasy, or horror. Some folks include surrealism, some straight science.” See the SFPA site for lots more information—and please consider joining. Via: Eye to the Telescope Magazine.
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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year
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March, 2023
I MEANT TO DRAW SOMETHING HHHH
Istg, if the only art I make for this whole relisten is for fatigue I'm gonna cry.
Anyway, 152 time!! I love 152, I love Jon and Helen, I love the parallels, I'm excited, ohhh this is so cool we're heading to like fantastic episode WAY TOO MANY NOTES ones really quickly (too quickly, i want to draw something for 160) and yeah! Yeah! Oh god it's almost season 5.
Below is a mixture of amazing words - mostly Jonny's /j (i have some as well) - and rambling. I love this statement so. much. now.
@a-mag-a-day!!!
I'm putting a content warning for I think it's unreality, cause I talk a bit about... not being able to trust yourself, and that could be... not grand for some people.
Statement of Hezekiah Wakely, regarding his career as a gravedigger. Compiled from a series of letters to Nathaniel Beale between 1837 and 1839. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist.
Who's Nathaniel Beale? I feel like I've seen his name before. Unless, of course, it's another Michael situation. There's... Nathaniel Thorp and Nathaniel Lukas. Hmm.
I’ve been installed here some weeks now, and I’m finding myself well-contented, my sexton duties keeping my time employed such as I scarce have a chance to allow myself those dark thoughts that so concerned you when last we visited.
What thoughts, I wonder. It probably mentions it further along, but I haven't really paid attention to this statement enough to be sure. For a while I thought it was "A Gravedigger's Entry".
The Lord gave him that voice for a purpose, no doubt – but sometimes that purpose does feel like it might be providing me a few minutes of unearned slumber
Hehe
My troubled sleep, on the other hand, has not, of yet, resolved itself in any way to my satisfaction. I work myself to exhaustion, cleaning, polishing and looking after the church proper, and I tell you, when I lie abed I can scarce rise again for the weakness I leave myself in. And yet, sleep still eludes me.
Heh, real. I too cannot sleep.
I’ve never quite known a rest like it. Perhaps it is the harder, more physical aspect of the task, or perhaps the quiet rhythm of it. There’s no echo as there is in the church, just the sound of pick and shovel hitting dirt. And when it’s deep enough, when you stand at the bottom, the noise of the world just… fades away to nothing. It is the sort of quiet that makes you feel as though the commotion and hubbub of life were but a terrible dream, and in sleeping you were waking up to peace.
BLANKETS ARE NOT ENOUGH I NEED TO BE BURIED ALIVE
That just sounds so?? Nice??? HHhnhnmhn
There is such peace in the churchyard, you see: to walk atop the soil knowing that, deep below my feet, those blessed souls wait happy and silent in the cool, damp earth, counting the days until the Resurrection. It gives me such warmth to think of that I have taken to spending much of my unoccupied time wandering the graves, and, where the mood allows me, taking my sleep there.
That is creepy, but like... I mean... I can understand it? It's nice to be outside in nights that aren't too cold, it's nice to sleep under the stars, the creepy part is the fact that it's a graveyard, but that can be brushed aside.
But I do long for that rest. I tell myself I wake each day renewed, but I am never as truly satisfied as when I’m in my slumber, and insensible to the world.
This statement is making me want to go to sleep and/or be buried in the dirt.
I do find, however, that when I dig my graves, I have been going deeper. And at times, I worry I might dig so far as I can no longer get out with my meager ladder. Now, those moments – you must not cast judgment on me for this, Nathaniel, for it is simply a passing fancy – but I will often lie myself down on that soft earth, and I will sleep. And I swear to you that the sleep I find there is more blissful than any I have ever found.
A Gravedigger's Envy? He's getting the nice grave sleep, I want the nice grave sleep, how is Jonny making grave sleep sound so appealing?
At least until a few feet down. But by the end of it… oh, I tell you there was warmth in that grave. Whether by my own body or the heat of the soil, I couldn’t say, but it was as comfortable as the fireplace of a public house, and the wind could not reach me in the hole that I had made.
I want that, I really want the grave sleep, that sounds so nice.
I had a dream, then. I dreamt a rain had come. A terrible bitter rain that chilled my bones and turned the soil around me dark and sodden. The walls grew damp and slippery, their firm shape lost as they began to slip and crumble. And then all at once they collapsed, the grave filling in a moment with a wave of mud and wet dirt. In a single terrible moment of utter terror, it was atop and around me, covering my face and filling my lungs with its awful choking sod. And the strangest thing was that it was wonderful. I had never felt such safety as within the crushing weight of earth all around me, the pressing embrace of the buried. In that instant I knew what it was to be dead, and I ached with envy for them.
Ok, hi, I saw a post, and I was thinking about the post, and I'm going to make a vague rebuttal (friendly-like, because they had good points). Hezekiah was afraid before the walls crashed around him. He was not afraid of some other terror, he was afraid of being buried - in the dead way or the forever deep below creation way... I don't know. Seems to be both, fear soup, remember.
The dreamers that have no idea what Smirke's fourteen is, or the supernatural, still affect the dream. Hezekiah associates being buried with being dead, and therefore the fears affect him as if being buried and being dead were similar things. I'm guessing quite a lot of people fear destruction and associate that with their fear of fire. Spiders and control for the aesthetic and also little bug guys fear being trapped when they're in a spider's web. People fear judgement when they're being looked at. (Speaking of, I swear at the shops today everyone was looking at me, like I saw them look at me, I felt their eyes on me, I associated this with the fear of judgement, and was appropriately spooked. What is this, episode 188 of The Magnus Archives?)
Anyway, back to this, Hezekiah's fear transformed into what Hezekiah became. Similarly, Martin - he was afraid of being alone, abandoned, and afraid of being found out. He became an "avatar" of The Lonely and The Eye. Also, would Martin's fear of being alone and being judged overlap, or feel similar? Is this why he gets both?
Mike was afraid of the part of The Twisting Deceit (The Spiral) that chased him, but he also had encounters with The Vast before Ex Altiora, he was afraid of the unfathomable power of that which chased him, he said that the form it took belonged to The Vast, the way he describes the pain of being struck by lightning - how it is so painful that to try to measure it is impossible. That's all pretty Vast-y to me.
Jane... Jane was afraid of the Hive. She didn't want it, she was afraid, she went to it... sure, she was lonely, but looking at her statement, how much of it is the Hive - if we're separating the two - and how much is Lonely? She talks of picking at her skin, of worms that emerged from the ground after rain, of an itch that called her to the attic, to the wasp's nest.
Sure, something chased them to becoming an Avatar, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it's "another fear" both because fear soup and because... a lot of their stories are about being repulsed and terrified by something, but getting so caught up in it that you forget that person who was scared, and you hurt others just how you've been hurt. Cycle of violence, babyyyy!
For an example, let's grab Peter and Martin. Peter's from the family of... basically a cult? Sure, he doesn't seem too bothered by it, but humans are social animals, and he was neglected for his whole childhood, that fucks people up @ the person who said yea Peter's childhood was actually fine. Then he becomes an avatar of the Forsaken and manipulates Martin into becoming an avatar of The Lonely in turn, who then - in the Eyepocolypse - hurts people in his domain. It's not one to one, but no analogies are.
I’ve been thinking, Nathaniel, of funerals and bodies. Souls that escape leaving this common clay to become one again with a truer clay. Were we not created from mud? And it seems more fitting to me that we should return forever to that mud, not pulled from it by some would-be Redeemer, or lifted to sing hosannas in his holy court. I’ve worked so long, so hard. Do I not deserve a rest in the mud from which I came? Commit my body to the earth and let it stay there. I’d do the same for you. For worship of the Most High - though it may be earned, perhaps, by He that made the heavens and the earth - well, to my mind, all that prayer still sounds a lot like work.
The difference between this and the beginning. Speedrunning his decent, as it were. The difference between envying the dead, and their rest before they go to Heaven, to wishing that when he leaves the world he stays in the ground. Hmmmm!!
But He is the son of God and we are merely sons of the dirt. We are not as strong as He is, and we deserve rest. We deserve to sleep.
The Buried oft represents being metaphorically under pressure, as Hezekiah is. He wishes to be Buried to finally rest from his work. That's interesting to me.
Also, feels sort of Flesh-y, but in a way where it's like... yes, soup, is not the fear of being one and the same as animals, as already being dead, as being from the earth and knowing one day you shall return all part of the same thing? Is that not a similar fear? Feels like one to me. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, that's about death, that's about the earth, are they not one and the same? We all come from the same earthen roots, people, animals, plants, everything, we are the same, and we will die the same.
I’ve been trying to sleep, but that bell kept ringing, the one over Jacob the baker’s grave. That nonsense safety valve the Reverend insisted on putting there, ringing and ringing, and disturbing the sleep of everyone in the churchyard. I’ve no doubt it disturbed Jacob as well, who worked so hard all his life and never thought to complain of his lot. He deserved to rest. So I cut the cord. And now he is quiet.
Oh, lord, he buried Jacob alive.
But I can see why he did it. He fears being away from the earth, he fears not being able to die, and so he sees it as saving Jacob and I understand that, I can understand that in his position, robbed of restful sleep, the grave being the only place where he can find his rest that he would do this.
I think this statement has just achieved the rank of "one of my favourites," because... that line. "He deserved to rest. So I cut the cord. And now he is quiet."
But worry not, Nathaniel. The love I bear you will not let me leave you ignorant. As I did with the Reverend, I will come and I will show you, once and forever, the true and glorious peace of the Buried.
Wow. Just... wow.
Nathaniel Beale is buried on the grounds of St. Peter’s Church in his hometown of Dunstable. And I am only the third person to know that in almost 200 years, after Nathaniel Beale himself, and Mr. Wakeley, the person who buried him.
Hey, we're still getting post-statement spookiness, but because everyone's just stopped doing work it's with Jon's eye spookiness.
I... wow.
I cannot tell how much of the change that comes over someone when they are taken by one of the Fears is a direct product of their influence, and how much is their own mind, desperately contorting itself to accept and justify the awful things they find themselves drawn to doing.
I have a really good quote that ties in with this, but it's only in the deluxe transcript of Hive (patreon exclusive transcripts that have Jon's notes and are canon, the Hive one is the most emotionally ruining of the ones out (1 - 33 as of 22/03/2023) so far), but I will say that his attitude towards them has changed significantly as he's... become one.
He called Jane Prentiss "the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss" and now... hm...
It's interesting how his understanding or conception of avatars and the like changing over the seasons, and although season 4 doesn't have a lot of other avatar interactions... Jon's whole humanity thing, it's enough to make it my favourite season when it comes to this stuff.
I have read many statements now by those who are changing, who are becoming – something else, and few if any of them seem… entirely rational. Entirely the people that they were before.
GIDDY LEG WIGGLE LIKE HHJNNHNHEHN!!! Humanity and identity and monsterhood and trauma!!! The THEMES of this podded cast, I'm love, I'm love!
But how can I tell, I suppose. My job is to view people at their lowest, their most fearful and unstable moments. Perhaps there is less change there than I imagine. Certainly, I don’t feel different. I have no desire for pseudo-religious philosophizing, or delighting in the suffering of those I harm. Then again, I suppose I’m hardly in the best position to judge. Perhaps to anyone listening to these tapes I sound remarkably similar to Hezekiah. Or to Manuela. Or to Jane.
So, I talked about this to my (middlest) sister because sometimes when you're this excited about things you just have to talk to people, like actually talk, and I had some pretty good thoughts about rationality, about if you can know if you're a monster. If you're slipping and you can't trust your mind anymore, how can you trust your mind enough to know that you can't trust your mind? It's just, how can you know you're so far gone, if you can't trust you, then you can't trust trusting you, therefore you can never truly trust yourself, can you? Everything is your perception, and you will never know if you can trust that. You will only know that you can't.
I just think that it's very neat, the whole... everything, all of this, it's just really cool, like how would Hezekiah know he's wrong to be responsible for the death of Jacob, for the Reverend, for Nathaniel? Does he? How does Jon know if he's just like Hezekiah, how can you truly know yourself - or understand yourself? Oh boy, this is such a cool statement and post statement.
HELEN Hello, John. Been a while since you’ve been down here. ARCHIVIST (Impatient noise) I didn’t come here to see you. HELEN Oh, come now! I’m sure I’m more interesting company than the late Jane Prentiss. ARCHIVIST It’s all that’s left of her now – apart from a jar of ashes in my desk. Just a circle of rotten stone on an otherwise-unremarkable wall.
Is the circle of stone a mirror? Is the jar of ashes as much a part of you as your rib? What was she trying to achieve, you wondered so long ago and now you have the answer and you still don't know why... why she listened to the song in her dreams, why she scratched the itch, but then again, why did you?
HELEN (Cont.) Ah… But that’s not why you’re here, is it? ARCHIVIST Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jane. She was the first, you know. The first I actually encountered like… like us. She seemed so… inhuman. Like everything she used to be was stripped away. HELEN And now…? ARCHIVIST I wonder how much of her was still in there. How much did she choose to be what she was? I read her statement, she was… (inhale, exhale) she was scared. I assumed she’d been possessed completely against her will, but now I’m not even sure that’s possible. HELEN It is astounding the sort of thing you’re willing to choose – given an unpleasant enough alternative – isn’t it? ARCHIVIST How much of willpower is just – safety? “Comfort” by another name. The option to choose and be fine.
THEMES OF CHOICE AND HOW MUCH YOU'RE AFFORDED!!! God, I love this so much! I love how Jane Prentiss, our and Jon's conception of Jane Prentiss changes from season 1 to season 4. How it starts with her as an inhuman enemy, no longer the person she was, and changes to be... what was she, why did she chose this, who was she, she's humanised as Jon becomes a monster, knows her. Understands her.
She was scared.
Good lord.
And then Jon's line, "How much of willpower is just - safety. Comfort by another name. The option to choose and be fine." and that choice isn't really afforded to them, it's always these hard choices with one option that's like "at least you don't die", or live in fear, or whatever. The option to choose and be fine.
Themes. So many themes, I love this bloody podcast.
HELEN Hungry, are we? ARCHIVIST (Angrily) That’s not – – I haven’t done anything – HELEN – yet. ARCHIVIST (Roughly) I feel like if I don’t… I might die. Fade away into nothing. HELEN … Do you… Know that? ARCHIVIST No. But I… (frustrated noise) I can’t die. They need me. HELEN Come on, Jon, no excuses. (The Archivist sighs.) HELEN (Cont.) They don’t need your protection.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, JUST PODDED CAST!!
ARCHIVIST When does it stop? HELEN (Impatient) What? ARCHIVIST The guilt. The misery. All the others I’ve met, they’ve been – cold, cruel. They’ve enjoyed what they do. When does the Eye (inhale) make me monstrous? (Helen laughs.) HELEN What – why would it ever do that? ARCHIVIST I don’t… HELEN When has your guilt, or your sadness, or your handwringing ever actually stopped you from doing what it wants? ARCHIVIST (Stammering) I-I – I have not been taking statements – HELEN You’ve sworn of other people’s trauma for now because you’re caught. Because continuing would endanger you. But other than that, when has your discomfort ever actually stopped you walking the path of the Beholding? ARCHIVIST I… I don’t know… HELEN Even if it were capable of doing so, what possible reason would the Eye have to change how you feel, when it makes no difference to your actions? Helen was like you, at first. She felt such guilt over taking people. Until one day she realized she wasn’t going to stop doing it. So she chose to stop feeling guilty.
OK FIRST OF ALL SOMETHING I CAN DEAL WITH, SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN JON AND HELEN! Helen went to Jon for help with the guilt, and Jon turned her away because he was scared of what he was becoming. Jon asks Helen when the Eye makes him monstrous and she says no, it's not the Eye that'll do that, it's you. You have to decide to stop feelings guilty about the monstrous things you're doing.
Secondly, *gestures* yeah fr fr! I don't even... I just need to listen to this over and over and have it burned into my mind please :3.
Yeah, well, wow! Yeah! For real for real, this is just like 111, I'm discovering a new love for this statement, I need to make a new "holy shit tma" playlist because. Wow. Wow! Mhm hm! WOw!!! Uhh, well, uhm.
Your most humble servant,
landscaping-your-mind
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talkethtothehandeth · 9 months
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I accidentally deleted someone’s ask about how I manage my chronic pain. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you. Since someone took the time to ask me, maybe they’ll see this again
Drugs, anon.
I use drugs/hj
I take very warm/hot baths, heat helps expand blood vessels and relieves my stiffness (from my arthritis). I’m glued to my emotional support heating pad, which you can find here in my cripple recommended products/wishlist. Whenever my friend comes to visit me, they know which side of the bed to sit on because my heating pad has already claimed my seat
Next, ice. I have multiple ice packs, and have plenty of “one time” *whispers* I use them more than once, instant ice packs. Which can also be found in the aforementioned link. They help with my inflammation as well. I bought a large ice pack from my old physical therapist’s place, it covers my entire back, and I usually transition from heat to ice depending on the symptoms
I keep my room dark and quiet, which doesn’t always work when my birds are with me. But I am sensitive to extra noise and light because my pain has gone past the point of no return and has turned my body into an over sensitive ball of nerves, quite literally. My room is my space, and unless my nephew and I are playing video games, it stays mostly quiet and very much dark because of black out curtains
I trigger point using a tennis ball to help release my muscles that have atrophied, I stretch when I need to, to the best of my ability during any given day, I mostly lie in bed tbh, that’s the only thing that makes it tolerable most days is rotting
For medicine I take a lot of different things, celecoxib, gabapentin but mmj helps me the most I’ve found— and also pisses off doctors enough for them to just accuse me of using recreational drugs (I don’t, and that doesn’t make me superior, but damn they do not fully believe you after you share that information)
I use topical relief like diclofenac or lidocaine, tiger balm helps immensely but also burns my skin at times. I have a massage gun that I got for like 75% off with the right Amazon coupons
I wear braces when I absolutely need to, which isn’t often bc I’m stubborn but also know how to navigate brace-less bc I’ve been doing this for so long
I have to have distractions, I play video games— fast paced like Warframe and assassins creed, things where it’s from one thing to a next and you’re completely submersed in the game. I forget I’m in pain sometimes when I’m playing, and then the game pauses and I get the quick reminder
I used to do music therapy, but I’ve been in too much pain to pick it back up again, so much that I ugly cried after playing the piano for the first time in months. I draw on my bent second hand iPad (that person must have just planted their cheeks on it bc HOW does it bend like that?) because it gives me the most control with my hand than paper and pencil does
I am so thankful that I have access to two mobility aids, which I wouldn’t have had access to if it weren’t for my friend who paid for the whole chair, it was one from Amazon like $100, and someone cared about me enough to do to understand my pain and wanted to help me through it, and I cannot ever express how grateful I am. I recognize that having a walker and wheelchair are very much a privilege, but my wheelchair hurts me because it isn’t custom made
My fiancée helps a lot, they bring me medicine or do things for me that I can’t, my long distance best friend is about the same level of disabled as I am because they just hAD TO COPY ME/j and when they come over we just rot, watch shows and coexist in the same space because they get it, and I feel so comfortable with them because I know there isn’t judgement, I feel comfortable with my other friends for this same reason, but sometimes my anxiety still runs rampant banging a wooden spoon on pots and pans
Having a support system really does help, it really does, and I literally only have one physically abled “irl” friend who I love so very much because they take the time to understand and they accept me as me, not “despite” my disability
And there are support groups online, there are people who aren’t assholes and who do not play Sick Olympics ™️ and I promise you there are people who you will find to be such amazing friends through your pain and who won’t leave you, I promise it is possible
And I get myself treats when I can. Like a smoothie from the café I like going to, it’s like a reward
I’ve been doing a lot better mentally, though when my pain comes around in a flare, it feels permanent, and that makes everything just a bit lot worse. I still have a very high baseline of pain, this won’t go away and I’m not sure if I’ll ever return to where I was back when I was 15, before It Truly hit.
Pain might be forever, so the best thing we can do is manage it, and if that feels helpless right now then that is how it feels and you shouldn’t force yourself out of it, imo. It’s okay to sit with the Bad thoughts and feelings even though it’s the worst ever, but I think it’s healthier than “find the good!”
Bestie, my joints dislocating enough to leave me with permanent degeneration is not good, I won’t find the good in that unless my joints aren’t swollen to the point where they make me immobile, I’ll find the good when I have relief. But when I’m flaring up? Let me have my pity party and let me be a bitter cripple. I’ve been in pain forever, and I managed to stay alive every single time I considered or tried to make that not happen. But I’m not some sort of inspiration, I’m just someone whose body broke them enough to the point where I saw no return. And maybe there won’t be, but when you find the right pain management (which, unfortunately, will be the burden you mostly have to carry) you will feel better, maybe not Better, but better.
You’ve got this, we’ve got this.
TL;DR: I manage my pain with lots of drugs, coping skills, art, a support system, and plenty of outside help from mobility aids to literal tennis balls to help, *bear grylls voice* improvise, adapt, overcome
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mickiartsblr · 5 months
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I have hobbies. I love painting. I adore playing my ukulele. I play video games and read shitty romance novels whenever I get a chance.
But like, the way people TALK about hobbies these days… like everything you do on a regular basis should be some marketable side hustle. Or that it should be preformable? Or demonstrable maybe? It just bothers me. It makes me feel like I don’t really have hobbies? Because I love to play random 4 chord songs to myself on my uke when I’m tipsy on the weekends at home by myself— those moments are me alone. I usually stop playing when my partner gets home. But a few times, the part of myself that doesn’t want to starve to death convinced the rest of me that I should try live-streaming my uke sessions. And I don’t want to say I hated it but it was… not nearly as fun (unless J was like, very drunk or smth).
And luckily, my painting has landed me an okay job in the entertainment sector, but now I’ve developed a bad habit or making sure everything that I paint is ‘sellable’. I can barely start a project if I don’t have an attractive end in mind. Why shouldn’t I? Painting is expensive! But making art for the express purpose of selling it, instead of to free my heart a bit hurts. I’d say working in art (I’m not a freelance artist) has even dulled my skill and creativity a bit. I don’t know.
I talk when I play video games. Anyone who hears me laughs at my timely jokes or my stupid little asides. Of course I like to think I’m funny, but I don’t think I’m as funny as my friends say I am. Certainly not funny enough to carry a live stream or a YouTube let’s play on my own.
And I’m DEFINITELY not cut out to review books.
And at each and every turn, I back away from monetizing these things I like. Not because I’m trying to make any statement— trust me, I’d LOVE to love doing the things I get paid for. And again, at each and every turn, there’s this push to squeeze pennies out of your every day life. And I could really use those pennies!!! That’s why I started this fucking blog! I don’t want to work 2-4 jobs any given month and still worry about the water getting shut off! But turning the few methods that I have of coping with reality into different ways of contributing to that reality makes something in me wither.
Perhaps it is the environment I’m in that makes me feel this way, but I’m surrounded by other starving people. Of course we are all obsessed with ways to make another dollar! At the end of the month, that dollar could mean the difference between homelessness and four walls! Everyone is only trying to offer me advice that boils down to “do what you have to do to survive!” I appreciate that, honestly, as tiring as it is.
Isn’t that somber?
I’m not asking for anything. I’m not suggesting anything either. I’m just voicing a struggle.
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firespirited · 8 months
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Long post. Press j to skip.
I AM SICK OF THE STUPID AI DEBATES, does it imagine, is it based on copyrightable material, are my patterns in there?
That's not the point.
I briefly got into website design freelancing (less than 3 months) before burn out.
The main reason was that automation had begun for generating stylesheets in somewhat tasteful palettes, for automatically making html/xml (they really haven't learned to simplify and tidy code though, they just load 50 divs instead of one), for batch colourising design elements to match and savvy designers weren't building graphics from scratch and to spec unless it was their day job.
Custom php and database design died with the free bundled CMS packages that come with your host with massive mostly empty unused values.
No-one has talked about the previous waves of people automated out of work by website design generators, code generators, the fiverr atomisation of what would have been a designers job into 1 logo and a swatch inserted into a CMS by an unpaid intern. Reviews, tutorials, explanations and articles are generated by stealing youtube video captions, scraping fan sites and putting them on a webpage. Digitally processing images got automated with scripts stolen from fan creators who shared. Screencaps went from curated processed images made by a person to machine produced once half a second and uploaded indiscriminately. Media recaps get run into google translate and back which is why they often read as a little odd when you look up the first results.
This was people's work, some of it done out of love, some done for pay. It's all automated and any paid work is immediately copied/co-opted for 20 different half baked articles on sites with more traffic now. Another area of expertise I'd cultivated was deep dive research, poring over scans of magazines and analysing papers, fact checking. I manually checked people's code for errors or simplifications, you can get generators to do that too, even for php. I used to be an english-french translator.
The generators got renamed AI and slightly better at picture making and writing but it's the same concept.
The artists that designed the web templates are obscured, paid a flat fee by the CMS developpers, the CMS coders are obscured, paid for their code often in flat fees by a company that owns all copyright over the code and all the design elements that go with. That would have been me if I hadn't had further health issues, hiding a layer in one of the graphics or a joke in the code that may or may not make it through to the final product. Or I could be a proof reader and fact checker for articles that get barely enough traffic while they run as "multi snippets" in other publications.
The problem isn't that the machines got smarter, it's that they now encroach on a new much larger area of workers. I'd like to ask why the text to speech folks got a flat fee for their work for example: it's mass usage it should be residual based. So many coders and artists and writers got screwed into flat fee gigs instead of jobs that pay a minimum and more if it gets mass use.
The people willing to pay an artist for a rendition of their pet in the artist's style are the same willing to pay for me to rewrite a machine translation to have the same nuances as the original text. The same people who want free are going to push forward so they keep free if a little less special cats and translations. They're the same people who make clocks that last 5 years instead of the ones my great uncle made that outlived him. The same computer chips my aunt assembled in the UK for a basic wage are made with a lot more damaged tossed chips in a factory far away that you live in with suicide nets on the stairs.
There is so much more to 'AI' than the narrow snake oil you are being sold: it is the classic and ancient automation of work by replacing a human with a limited machine. Robot from serf (forced work for a small living)
It's a large scale generator just like ye olde glitter text generators except that threw a few pennies at the coders who made the generator and glitter text only matters when a human with a spark of imagination knows when to deploy it to funny effect. The issue is that artists and writers are being forced to gig already. We have already toppled into precariousness. We are already half way down the slippery slope if you can get paid a flat fee of $300 for something that could make 300k for the company. The generators are the big threat keeping folks afraid and looking at the *wrong* thing.
We need art and companies can afford to pay you for art. Gig work for artists isn't a safe stable living. The fact that they want to make machines to take that pittance isn't the point. There is money, lots of money. It's not being sent to the people who make art. It's not supporting artists to mess around and create something new. It's not a fight between you and a machine, it's a fight to have artists and artisans valued as deserving a living wage not surviving between gigs.
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coralsgrimes · 7 days
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The last thing Ben liked in J's insta was a photo of her dog. He didn't like her announcement of joining a new agency, not the book thing, basically nothing to do with her work or accomplishments (I use the term loosely). I hope he's not jealous! (Unless we're talking jealousy over actually having something to do. I can understand that. But not jealousy over *what* shes doing.)
I mean yeah if it stings then he avoids the I AM DOING SHITE posts, and adds another alo gym video #notsponsored and he is not doing shite himself so he has time to scroll xd oh what a tragedy boy is without a job once more... for about 4 years now
THO I won't fuck ye about muffins, Imma with Benny on ignoring the 'book' in question cuz like yeah I wouldn't tap tap it twice even if I was paid lol
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