#{this is actually quite old I don't think i've ever posted it LMAO}
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Going up
#little nightmares#six#six little nightmares#little nightmares six#my art#my illustration#my animation#animation#artists on tumblr#six ln#ln six#{this is actually quite old I don't think i've ever posted it LMAO}#{yeah guys sorry you're gonna have to wait a while for the LN II birthday comic. i promise it'll be good}#little nightmares fanart#fanart
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Turns out it's been a while since I've talked about Rachel's medical fetish art so it came as a shock to people when I mentioned it in the last post (I've got quite a few asks about it lmao) So I'm gonna enlighten y'all real quick on what I'm referring to, and yes, it's probably exactly what you're thinking of when you hear the word 'medical fetish'.
CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MEDICAL FETISH ART AND DEPICTIONS OF NEEDLES!!!!
So the name "used_bandaid" is one Rachel started using back in the early to mid 2000's. She went by a LOT of different pennames back then, including but probably not limited to:
Pepper_maid
madame_issue
Usedbandaid/used_bandaid
Rach Alex
Rachel Royale
Raquel
Medical Tophat/Medical_Tophat
Frill_house
Gingerbreadcoffin (? this one's kinda weird because the link itself with this username just goes back to her used bandaid MySpace account , so idk if she ever actually used it or if it was even affiliated with her lol)
Now you're probably about to ask, "Puff, how do you know these are all her?" and that's because Rachel still had all of these accounts interlinked through her projects, primarily The Doctor Pepper Show. She seemed to change up usernames often just for the hell of it.
Anyways. I'm not gonna show much of it here because I do think it's better to leave certain things in the past, but there's a LOT of her old work that implies the stuff that's questionable/problematic in LO has always been a part of her identity as an artist (DDLG, hot pink self-insert MC, etc.)
One such example is "madame issue":
This is such a 3-in-1 smoking gun for everything we see in LO. The reference to bandaids (see: used bandaid, which was part of her URL slug for her old flickr where this drawing comes from), the hot pink color palette, and of course, the fact that this character is almost DEFINITELY a self-insert of Rachel, thanks to that shared name.
She's also stated in old commission/print posts that Madame Issue was the one print she wouldn't sell.
She doesn't explicitly say why but I think it's pretty safe to assume it's because Madame Issue is her.
We also have Eva, "the queen of medical fetish". And the tags are... pretty self-explanatory.
That said, that's as much as I'm gonna go into with her old art, because a lot of it does get quite personal with her and I don't really think it accomplishes much more to continue digging up old skeletons, at least not unless they can be seen as parallel to LO (which some of them are and I'll likely be sharing more of those ones in a later post).
That said, there ARE still pages that are accessible without the use of the Wayback Machine that advertise her as a medical fetish artist without the need for extensive digging. If you search up The Doctor Pepper Show on Google, you'll actually find a reddit thread asking what happened to Rachel's old work, and there are comments with loads of resources to access her pre-LO content. You'll also find the listing for The Doctor Pepper Show on The Webcomic List, which literally describes it as a medical fetish comic: "This is a comic set in a world where evil doctors rule, girls wear frilly underpants and people use their manners. *May I please blow your f**king head off?* This comic features Gothic dandys, EGL (Gothic lolitas) and medical fetish fashion. (Neo victorian setting)"
I'll let y'all do your own digging from here, there's a LOT to unpack honestly and while I can't keep you from doing your own research, practice due diligence with what you choose to share. Again, I don't think it's a crime in and of itself for Rachel to want to distance herself from her past as a medical fetish artist, so I think it's only really relevant to show the things that are clearly still influencing LO (like her love for the movie Lolita or the very clear sexualization of youthfulness). While we can try to leave the past where it is, she does still write LO with a lot of the most problematic features of her former identity, and it makes it all the more bizarre that if she is trying to distance herself from it all, then why would she stick with one of the pennames that's the most easily tied back to medical fetishism?
TL ; DR: Rachel started off online with medical fetish and gothic lolita art (at least as far back as we can trace it) and elements of that past are still present in LO today. Use that info responsibly lol
#lore olympus critical#lo critical#antiloreolympus#anti lore olympus#ama#ask me anything#anon ama#anon ask me anything
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wait, I don't understand why fanon Masky is so hated?? /genq (I was never really that interested in him tbh so I only know shit about him.)
OKAY, I can answer this one!
I'm happy that the whole fandom turned around on Fanon Masky recently (at least, I believe it must have been recently considering Cheesecake Masky was a thing before I 'left' the fandom), since that version of him is a bit problematic lol
If you've watched Marble Hornets, then you'll know that Masky and Hoody are REALLY scary (seriously, I had nightmares about Masky for absolute weeks), and work against the Operator. However 'fanon' Masky is a loyal employee of Slenderman/The Operator (I'm gonna make a post addressing the differences one day), and isn't really all that scary?? From what I remember, he was mainly joked about as being the 'Sensible one' of the Proxy trio (Him, Hoody and Toby), who was basically the dude always tired of their bullshit. Not only is this the complete opposite of how Masky is, as he would NEVER work FOR his enemy, who literally ruined his life from childhood, but it also sort of flanderised him and no longer made him scary, which is something the Creepypasta fandom tends to do a lot lmao
Another thing is his sudden change of character design. A lot of old Creepypasta fanart depicting him from 2013-2017 show him with lighter brown hair and a yellow jacket, which isn't what he looks like at all?? Actual Masky has much darker hair and I don't think he's ever seen with that ugly ass highlighter coloured jacket.
There's also the complete change in his body type, definitely one of the most controversial things about Fanon Masky. Let me first say that I do not believe that Tim Sutton (Masky's original actor) is fat, I'm not sure WHERE the old Creepypasta fandom got that idea from. Fandom in general, especially the Creepypasta fandom, is quite 'fatphobic' from my experience. What this basically means is that if you're not a skinny twink you will be body shamed in every way possible. The Creepypasta character market has always been oversaturated with men who basically were twinks, with slim and pale bodies, such as Jeff the Killer.
I believe that making Masky so thin came from the fact that when the Creepypasta fandom really took off around 2013-ish, a lot of Creepypasta fans looked for content and eventually I believe that a lot of them must have stumbled across Marble Hornets. Upon seeing Masky and Hoody, two characters that could have passed off as Creepypasta characters (as most of the other characters in Marble Hornets looked like ordinary people), the fandom probably adopted them and adapted them to 'their tastes', no matter how good they were or not. It might have also been a game of telephone too, as maybe a Creepypasta fan's friend of a friend told them some info about Masky and they misunderstood and instead of who Masky actually was, saw him more as the silly goofy masked guy. And to be honest, I don't think the Creepypasta fandom has ever really been known for actually doing their research, so that misconstrued version of him just became canon in everyones minds.
Not that it was always that innocent though...
One titular thing about fanon Masky was his strange love of Cheesecake. I myself saw a lot of it in 2016 sewed into every bit of content for his character, and was confused on where it came from. Then, I found out that it was meant to be a joke SHAMING him for 'being fat'. I originally stumbled across this for the first time in a satire comic, where one of the panels is Hoody chastising Masky for eating cheesecake, stating that Masky will become fat. The cheesecake joke is one I've seen in some fandoms before, albeit in different ways and with different foods. For the life of me I cannot figure out why everyone decided to associate him with Cheesecake, but everyone just did.
Fanon Masky is a perfect example on how fandoms can flanderise characters to the point where they're unrecognisable; pull up a picture of Masky in the Marble Hornets and then a Masky fanart from 2015. The difference is STAGGERING. The Creepypasta fandom is very much infamous for flanderising characters, such as making Jeff a misunderstood bad boy, Toby a waffles-obsessed manchild, and Masky a Slenderman-loving, Crayons and Paper-having, Toby-hating, Cheesecake-eating twink.
TL;DR: Fanon Masky was made as a shitty misconstrued fat joke.
#littlelady#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#masky mh#masky marble hornets#masky creepypasta#tim wright mh#tim wright marble hornets#fanon masky slander#2010s fandom#old fandom
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Hi! I love your analysis on the characters because you always seem nice and open minded and not the kind of "I'm right, you are wrong", that's why I wanted to hear your opinion on this topic!
I've read that one of the most important character trait of Lan Wangji is being a sadistic, and instantly I was like "what but he's not AT ALL like that". I thought that person could be an anti but actually they wanted to praise the character. I have still thousand doubts because maybe it's me who totally read the character wrong after all this time, and because I've never read such opinion on the character, neither from the novel fandom nor from the drama or donghua fandom.
What do you think about it? :)
hi anon!! thank you 💓💕❤️ i'm glad you like them!!! (and i'm glad i come across that way, even though i have certainly slipped and said some things like that hahaha)
so my first reaction was "HUH?????" but i think i understand what that person must be talking about! and while i can't say that find his sadism "one of his most important character traits", it IS something that i think it's very endearing about Lan Wangji!!
(long post under the cut lmao)
so before we elaborate, lemme specify that in this case, i am specifically talking about the sexual, BDSM meaning for sadism. here, a sadist is someone who finds sexual pleasure in inflicting pain on their partner during sex, on the same vein that a masochist is someone who enjoys being inflicted pain on during sex.
most importantly however, this pleasure tends to be exclusive to the mindset one has during a sexual situation, and does not translate to regular everyday life, so if that person was saying that Lan Wangji is a sadist who obtains pleasure from hurting ANYONE or ANYTHING, at ANY MOMENT, then i absolutely disagree with it
okay, so... why do so many people LOVE that LWJ is a sadist? well, obviously i can't speak for everyone, but for me, i love it because of how well done it was. sadism IS an integral part of Lan Wangji character, and he KNOWS it, and for most of his life? it scared him
imagine it with me for a second: you are a 15 year old teenager, who's lived his whole life following very strict rules with a very strict view of how one should behave. you never once indulged in "common teenager behavior", you never felt the need to. then, out of nowhere, a gremlin boy comes into your life as the very embodiment of those behaviors—drinking, flirting, breaking rules, causing trouble, saying ridiculous things in class, reading... forbidden material,
that boy thinks you're a stick-in-the-mud. that boy wants you to loosen up a little. that boy tricks you into opening one of those forbidden books, and laughs at the face you make about it, then runs away happily. your blood boils, your face is red, you've never felt so hot and so frustrated in your life. you want to teach him a lesson
however, next day comes and that boy and his shidi join you on a nighthunt, and you come to the realization that he's actually... not as terrible as you first thought? he's a troublemaker, sure, but he's also incredibly competent, intelligent and even selfless if the situation calls for it. that... also stirs something in you.
then, that boy comes bearing "an apology gift", two cute, white little rabbits he caught himself, just for you. you know, deep inside, he's just doing this to get a reaction out of you. that's all he ever does. so when he makes an inappropriate joke and you (before you can even stop yourself) push him out the window, hearing him laugh joyfully even after he hit the floor, you feel that stiring again, that hot frustration, and at this point... you start suspecting something. something about what this feeling is
the thing is, for as much as you want to, you don't hate that boy. you hate how he makes you feel, but you don't hate him. in fact, you start suspecting quite the opposite. but you ignore it, and you push it aside, even as you catch yourself thinking about him, and doing the things he told you about—he's always in your mind... and you don't hate it. even when you catch yourself looking for forbidden material yourself, a type that not even that boy showed to you, a type that you can relate to, maybe even fantasize with
so, imagine now, that is how your very young life is going. then, one night... you have a dream, one very different. it starts out as a memory, but early on, it changes. in that dream, that boy teases you just a bit more cruelly, says some things with stranger implications, he pushes, and pushes you, and pushes you, and you break.
in that dream, you hurt him
and not just any kind of hurt. you do something unspeakable. the most immoral of acts a human can do. you hurt him as he cries and begs you to stop. you don't
and the worst part? you enjoy it
you were so certain, up until that point, that you were a good person. that you'd never want to hurt anyone, especially like this. so why does that dream make you feel that way? what does it mean?! that boy angers and frustrates you, sure, but you never ever wanted to hurt him. so you convince yourself that it was how your young, hormonal brain processes this anger, and tries to move on
and you don't think about why, by the end, you were holding each other close. why, by the end, you'd wanted him to enjoy it as well
KDFKSHC OKAY SORRY this ended up longer than i'd planned, but this? this is a VERY very common experience for teenagers who happen to have this type of sexual inclination to have. your mind is so young and you don't know much about sex at all, but your brain and your body betray you, and you feel drawn towards fantasies that by all means should disgust you. and it scares you, it scares you because if i enjoy these thoughs, then what does that make me?? so, much like lan wangji, those feelings get repressed and turned into something shameful for themselves
AND HERE IS WHERE WEI WUXIAN COMES IN!!! because that dream lan wangji had? it gets exposed in full sound and color to the very person it was about. now, up until that point, wangxian had already been exploring their sexuality together, and after their little fucking in the woods where lwj kept trying and trying to hold back as to not hurt him, apologizing and feeling frustrated that he can't (and who could, in his place?) wwx's reaction was to continuously rile him up more and more, because he DOESN'T want lan zhan to hold back!! no restraints, right? he wants all lan zhan has to offer!!! he wants lan zhan in all he can be!! he wants it, he enjoys it, even if it hurts!!
(how lucky, that this repressed little sadist found love in someone who turned out to be a repressed little masochist LMAO)
what is endearing about that incense burner extra is that lan wangji is visibly nervous and embarrassed about this dream, even now, even after him and wwx got married and have had sex many times. this is STILL something that lwj is ashamed about. and wei wuxian's response? to be as open as possible, to reassure him that he finds it SO hot, that he loves it, that he wants him to fuck him like that RIGHT NOW!! that there's nothing to be ashamed about cause guess what? wei wuxian is SO into it too, he's egging on little 15yo lan zhan on his actions against his own younger self!! and lan wangji finally lets it go!!! he accepts this part if himself, because now he knows it doesn't mean anything bad, it doesn't mean he's a horrible person who wants to see wei ying hurt and crying (he has, already, back when everything was falling apart), because he only wants it when he knows that wei ying wants it too. he only wants it if it's a way for wei ying to also enjoy himself
soo yeah, this is what i think that person meant when they said lan wangji was a sadist. he is!! actually, for as much as i love what the incense burner means to them, i personally don't even like reading it because of how violent it can be, and i cannot blame anyone for not being able to read it, but it IS very important to his character, and such a compelling look into his mind!
but you can also imagine how much it would have scared little lan zhan, and how validating it must have been years later, to finally know that hey, it's just a dream, and me? your husband who loves having rough mean sex with you? finds that EXTREMELY hot and it only makes me love you more ❤️💞💕
#lwj's reaction to the blindfolded kiss only enforces this imo. he's SO ANGRY and SO SCARED#because it feels so close to what that dream was ''telling'' him he was capable of#anyways... SORRY THIS ENDED UP RIDICULOUSLY LONG. i just very much do love this part of lwj#he's just a little guy fr#modao#lace speaks#me: i don't think his sadism is one of his most important character traits#me by the end: .....OR MAYBE I DO??
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could you talk a little bit about why the kids are so estranged from Caroline? I never quite got the full extent of their relationship. I get that she was absent and emotionally unavailable, but what makes her a worse option for the kids when compared to Logan of all people?
i do think the absence is a part of it. imo caroline wants her children to love her and choose her, but i don't think she knows what to do with them when faced with the reality of being their mother. you can see it in return; she wants them there, and then when she gets them, she leaves. and it's implied a few times that this is a pattern ("spotty mother", "the family way" etc.), so i imagine that after a while the shtick gets old. particularly when you compare it to how the kids see logan as more or less omniscient.
but really, i think the biggest part of it is the logan roy of it all. there's this harriet walter interview where she talks about people looking at caroline and seeing her as a perpetrator, rather than stopping to consider what it might've been like as a woman trying to hold her own in a marriage with logan. and i do think that's true. like, logan wields so much power within the family dynamic and after what seems to have been an incredibly messy divorce, the estrangement doesn't surprise me. i don't think it matters if caroline is better or worse than logan, because ultimately the kids don't get to choose. they're stuck in the middle of their parents' mind games. sarah says in a post s3 interview that shiv in the last two eps is coming to the realisation that logan got to keep them not because he loved them more, or because he was a better parent, but because he wanted the win. they didn't matter, but making sure caroline lost did, etc. and again, i think that's true. if logan wanted to let his children go, i'm sure caroline would have got them in a heartbeat. but he clearly likes them close, and more than that, i'd say that he actively fueled the rift between the kids and caroline to, like. prolong the win, i guess? i mean, i don't think caroline just gave up after logan got custody. there are several instances that hint to her trying to keep up a relationship ("i moved back to bloody new york so i could see you, and i never fucking saw you!", the christmas "that was several times" discussion in return, the morocco kidnapping bit from the scripts, etc.) and i can 100% see logan wielding his power over his kids to ensure that they choose him, over and over again, regardless of how awful he treats them.
i also think there are different things that affect each individual relationship. we joke a lot about how caroline doesn't care about ken, but with kendall, i think he's just always been logan's. he's the chosen one, claimed and tainted and alienated from birth. i don't think caroline ever even tried with him.
with roman, i actually don't think they're estranged. at the very least, it's not like it is with ken and shiv. i'd even say that in a lot of ways, roman is caroline's first "win" in her marriage. second born spare, free for her to claim and all that, you know? it's a moot point eventually because logan sinks his claws in the same way he does with all his children, but i dont think roman ever stops being mummy's little boy. he's so forgiving of his parents and so willing to accept the scraps of affection that shiv and ken decline, it's no wonder that they appear to have the most contact. i've said this before but where his siblings resent caroline for leaving, i imagine roman was just happy whenever she came back. she doesn't have to try too hard with him and it allows them a certain conviviality that doesn't exist elsewhere in the family dynamic.
with shiv and caroline... where do you even start lmao. i think caroline sees shiv as logan's similarly to how she sees kendall as logan's, but while it's pretty much whatever with ken, with shiv she considers it a betrayal (think of return's "a bit of solidarity. twenty years too late, but never mind."). the choice might've been taken from shiv as a child, but it's no wonder she prefers to be estranged as an adult. when it comes to caroline and her kids, she and shiv have the deepest and most complicated relationship; there's this unique hurt and unique understanding between them and it's why their relationship is also the most vicious, which is to say nothing on how logan's influence has seeped into the crevices of it. frankly i think shiv just doesn't want to have to deal with it.
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers
i've had so much fun reading other answers to these questions over the last few weeks!! thank you @nv-md and @sweet-s0rr0w for mentioning me in your posts!! i fear my answers drifted much too far into self-indulgence, but what's new for this blog eh??
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
22, but one of them is 11 separate drabbles/microfics in a 2k-word jacket
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
293,865
3. What fandoms do you write for?
i'll only ever write hp on this username!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
all drarry:
the four doors (legilimency healer draco + memory loss)
adventures in truth and texting (advent texting fic)
all i have to do (draco thinks harry is a magical fantasy but whoops he's real)
eight o'clock, tomorrow evening (four doors sequel)
two to lie and one to listen (8th year fake dating, sort of)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i respond to everything on the final chapter of a fic! sometimes very kind commenters will say something at the end of every single chapter, which is SUCH a joy to receive, but i haven't yet figured out a way of saying "thank you!" 26 times over without sounding insincere
(i also don't usually respond to comments on fics i've co-written bc i don't feel like i have? the right? feels like i'm taking credit for something i did not really do!)
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
also drarry: for lack of wanting, wherein harry thinks it's sexy when draco acts like an evil dick again, and draco is too in love with harry to tell him that makes him feel weird
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
man i think all the rest are pretty happy, all things considered? tho i guess two to lie and wrapped are the only ones that end with explicit i-love-yous?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
i've been quite lucky, actually! i've had the occasional demand to change an angsty ending, or comments that have been quite mean about a character who isn't supportive of drarry. oh and i've had a couple of people get suuuper mad when draco malfoy, death eater and snotty spoilt brat, makes mildly immoral decisions. i've found all of those quite funny tho, which i'm sure i wouldn't if they were legitimate hate, so i don't think they count!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yep! the vibe of two characters wanting to fuck but knowing they shouldn't for some reason (uneven dynamic, magic stuff, they simply haven't had a fucking conversation about it) is my absolute favourite. will read it every time, will write it pretty much every time too 😅
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
the closest i've come to writing a crossover is say no to this, a fic vaguely based off the storyline of the song from hamilton. it was the first drarry fic i'd written in about 10 years!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
yep! not any under this username (that i know of), but someone re-uploaded an old drarry fic of mine to wattpad – and honestly, i don't mind at all. i don't think the fic is very good lmao, if someone else wants to take the blame for it, that's totally fine by me
(the wildest thing about it is the combined ff.net + wattpad views of that fic now top 2 million i think?! but despite that u have almost definitely not heard of it!! i've only seen it mentioned, like, maybe 3 times since i properly re-joined fandom spaces in 2020)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes!!!! it's SUCH an honour!!! the four doors is in german, chinese, russian and spanish; thirst (drarry vampire fic) is in chinese; and all i have to do (the not-fantasy-harry fic) is in russian 🥰
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes!!! well, sort of – officially, i co-wrote per my last letter (i hope you choke on it) with @lastontheboat, but i really do think i was more like an alpha reader with knobs on. the workload split was at least 25/75, with j shouldering a great deal of the burden (and all of the brilliance)!
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
this is going to sound silly given that i'm definitely a drarry writer and only really hang out in the drarry sphere – but i don't have one! for hp, i gravitate towards ships with harry in them, but even that isn't a hard and fast rule for me
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
nothing that i've posted! but i have tons that are never going to see the light of day. three recent-ish hp ones i've written the most for:
a fic i call The Opus, which is a drarry auror partners fic – i have 16k words written; it was going to end up a solid 100k. i love the concept i have for this fic so, so dearly, but a 100k casefic is not happening.
a harry/ginny established relationship smutty oneshot that is really nothing more than ginny being fun and sexy and harry being horny but, like, self-deprecating about it.
a drarry little mermaid au that i wrote for nanowrimo in 2019. like i MIGHT come back to this one day? but it's unlikely. pros: i do have 50k of it written already and the first draft isn't too far off being complete. cons: i have almost exactly 50k words of it written bc i hit the nano goal and stopped in the middle of a sentence bc writing it was SO stressful (that november i had two jobs + one volunteering role, and also i was moving house, so. a lot going on.)
16. What are your writing strengths?
god knows. dialogue and characters come easiest to me, ig? and i tend to cut a lot in editing, so i don't think my stuff is? overly wordy? so it doesn't require much brainpower to read? that could be a positive or a negative, depending on how you look at it!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i suck at caring about anything other than character dynamics, so my fics never have plot outside of something vague to put the main pairing in the same room
similarly, i'm not very good at describing locations – describing anything, really
bc i tend to focus on the "oh we want to but we shouldn't!" moment, i'm pretty bad at actually developing feelings in longer fics – that part always feels too rushed to me, but fuck if i know a way of fixing it that isn't just, like, write another 20k
i think my endings usually feel like a bit of an afterthought and often quite forced
the more i write, the more i realise i know, like, 5 ways of phrasing anything, and i just repeat the same things over and over
i'm trying to fix my lack of skills with plotting + pacing by planning extensively before i start drafting, but i think that takes a bit of the spark out of the final version? it becomes a bit predictable and samey?
em dashes every tenth word
i'm convinced ppl i respect are in group chats talking abt how annoying and bad at writing i am, and also lowkey (…highkey) i agree with them – so actually getting myself to write anything is super hard!!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
yeah man! i mean, i personally am not sufficiently confident in my skills in any other language to do it without help (and i'm not sufficiently confident in my skills in asking for help to do that), but it's fun to read imo
19. First fandom you wrote for?
i've dabbled in a few over the years, but the first was hp – it was a marauders era snape/lily/james love triangle fic that i posted on a forum on a hp roleplaying site – this was before deathly hallows came out, so i was very smug when my pairing theory (that i undoubtedly stole from someone cleverer than me, because i was 13 years old) turned out to be true
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
god. @decaflondonfog recently told me that drabbles don't really count, so i? don't know? perhaps still the pine-woods scent the moon (guilty remus/harry) or taste of țuică (established drarry bringing ron in as a third) are the ones i like best, but i don't love either of them enough to be able to confidently declare them my favourite!
u know the drill: i got too sad and anxious and unfollowed everyone so i have no idea who to tag. if u made it this far please know i do love you very much, i want to kiss u on the cheek at LEAST, and would love to know any thoughts u have about the things u make ❤️
#as if i said 'a strength of mine is that i'm not too wordy' in this post#have u SEEN the length#fluxweed shut the fuck up challenge#my fic#tag game
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Metallica Anon here responding to Taxidermy Anon's roll call. I'm going to be a little more extensive with my post so grab a snack and a drink.
I'm a 31 male and I'm 10 months older than Viv. My story began around November of 2019 when I was (and still am) a member of a forum related to a show that I used to love but completely lose interest in. (If you're wondering what show? Let's just say Blitzø would love it. 😉) Then I noticed a few members had this particular character as their avatars. That character turned out to be Angel Dust of Hazbin Hotel. My curiousity grew and I eventually watched the pilot. I was completely enamored with it. I loved the animation, the characters, the voice acting, etc. Not long after, I began watching Helluva Boss and soon became enamored with show as well.
For nearly four years, I was quite emotionally attached to Viv's shows, almost at the level of the cartoons I loved from my childhood. For a while, I thought Hazbin and Helluva could be some of the greatest cartoons in history. Unfortunately, as Phil Collins once sang, something happened to on the way to Heaven.
Actually, three things happened. I'll explain each one.
The Long Wait for Hazbin Hotel: I don't know how or why I managed to hold on for so long, but I did. I've endured HH's signing to A24 in 2020, the voice actor replacement debacle in 2021, and the character "redesigns" in 2022. I remember in November of '22, I had two things to be excited for in '23: the new Metallica album in April and Hazbin in the summer. (At least one of the things happened.)
To occupy my mind, I binge watched a cartoons until Hazbin would air, which I assumed would be as early as June. When June came, a lot of us were expecting at least a trailer. What did we get? A cheap Angel Dust picture! I think this is when my hype for HH began to deflate. Then in July, Viv announced HH would be delayed due to the WGA/SAG strikes. At first, I thought the reasons were understandable, but then found out A24 can promote their stuff during the strikes. This made me feel suspicious on what’s going on. Once summer ended, I officially gave up on Hazbin Hotel… then the trailer came out with a release date, which is JANUARY 2024!
Did the trailer reignite my interest? HAH! No! I’m wasting any more time waiting for this shit! But that’s not the only reason…
The Decline of Helluva Boss: Up until this year, I loved Helluva Boss. I enjoyed the shenanigans of Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona. I would always find some enjoyment in every episode, even the bad episodes like “CHERUB” and “The Circus.” However, Helluva had long waits between episodes ranging from two to six months. Yet somehow, I endured because at least new episodes were coming out.
Then came the episode “Exes and Oohs.” I hesitated to watch it at first as some previews and clips I saw turned me off. Then I finally watched the full episode… and I absolutely hated it! Unlike the previous bad episodes of HB, I did not find ANY enjoyment in this episode. Then came the episode “Western Energy “and the same happened again. Hesitated to watch at first, finally watched it and absolutely hated it. I began to question myself on why I am I still watching this. Finally came the episode “Unhappy Campers,” and that episode was the final straw for me. That episode made me so angry that I wanted to smash my head into my laptop. Three strikes, you’re out!
Ever since that damn episode, I swore off Helluva Boss. I have not watched a new episode or even rewatched an old episode. It also got me thinking if HB’s writing is this bad, I believe HH’s writing will be just bad or worse. Now let’s get to the source of the shit…
Viv’s True Colors: For a long time, I did not know very much about Vivienne Medrano, her history, or who see really is. I simply viewed her as a regular person who somehow found success in independent animation…
Then came spring 2023 when I learned of the ErinFrost and KenDraws allegations against her by Ayy Lmao’s YouTube videos. Those allegations really got me thinking and my views of Viv began to change. Later in the summer, I began using my abandoned Tumblr account and I stumbled upon the Viv Critical community… and learned everything awful about Viv. Not only is Viv awful, so is her fanbase. I can honestly say that the VivziePop fanbase is probably the most toxic I have ever been in… and this is coming from someone who was apart of another infamous fanbase back in the 2010s. I mean, I have never seen a creator that encourages their fans to attack and send deaths to anyone who has even the slightest bit of criticism.
*sigh* This post has gotten too long so I’m gonna wrap it up. Fuck Viv, she’s a leper messiah. 🖕
-Metallica Anon 🤘
That was a great story, Metallica Anon. Sucks that it had to happen, but if it had to, glad you found your way here!
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AO3 tag game :3
thanks so much for the tag @mvshortcut !!!!! much appreciated, this was a blast to fill out :D
How many works do you have on AO3?
86! Damn, that's more than I remember 🙀 I have been writing pretty fervently since I was pretty young, though, and I transferred all my old fics from fanfiction dot net to AO3, so it's a long stretch of time. All my old wattpad fics are still rotting somewhere though lmaooo I can't even access them anymore bc I forgot my password and I can't reset it bc I used a school email 😔
What's your total AO3 word count?
443,734! When I get to half a million I'm gonna have to throw myself a party. With boba and everything
How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?
Oof, okay, here we go. A lot of the fandoms I have tagged on AO3 don't really "count" because they're just aggregate tags for the same fandom, so even though AO3 says the number is 48, I'm gonna count the TRUE number as 17. (It got cut down so much because of how many video game series have different games with different fandom tags on AO3, lmao)
Here's the breakdown of the list:
Persona (Mostly Persona 3)
Fire Emblem (Mostly Shadow Dragon and Blazing Sword)
Legend of Zelda
Pokemon
Professor Layton
RWBY
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Earthbound/MOTHER
Red vs. Blue
Voltron Legendary Defender
Naruto
Final Fantasy XV
Harvest Moon
The Mysterious Benedict Society
The Avengers
Animal Crossing
Care Bears (despite having never actually consumed any Care Bears media to my knowledge)
The worst part is that this stupid list would be much, much, MUCH longer if I finished even a quarter of my WIPs 😭 Hell, even just my "Video Games" subfolder in my "Fanfiction" subfolder has more than 17 subfolders in it...
Y'all don't understand how many random fics my ADHD spares you from ever seeing I have no focus
Top five fics by kudos:
Ash and Emotion (Zelda) - Not surprising, I knew this was my most popular fic. It was for a ZeLink zine full of beautiful work :)
Resemblance (Naruto) - bro I always forget people really liked this one. Literally an unedited drabble I did in an hour for a "pride month drabble challenge" which I immediately abandoned. Trans rights I guess
Always Wanna Play (But You Never Wanna Lose) (Persona 3) - This one isn't surprising either, and I'm very proud of this fic so I'm quite chuffed to see it get so much attention... thanks everyone :')
The Beat of Your Heart (Zelda) - Now this one surprised me a lot. This was just a little piece for ZeLink week... Another unedited one, I literally was writing it on the toilet in church so I could get it out in time 😭
Comfort (Zelda) - Another ZeLink week piece, but I knew this one was popular. Also unedited, lmao. I was writing it on the day of my AP Calc finals and I rushed through the exam so I could have more time to work on the fic 😭 I made some Choices that year
Do you respond to comments?
I try to! But I get very anxious about it and tend to work myself into a tizzy, so I often put it off for later and then forget, haha. Then I'll go and respond to all my comments from the last few months and feel even weirder about it... T_T
What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?
Oof. That's... a hard one, haha. I've written a couple of fics without happy endings, though I typically don't. At least three fics which end on a canonical character death, for instance. But I'd say the ending which made me the most emo writing was Butter, a Mother 3 fic. It ends with Lucas, who's like 9, recently lost his mother, then lost his twin brother (and thinks it's his fault), and is now being neglected by his father, crawling into bed and crying. So yeah, pretty bleak, lmao... but at least he doesn't die I guess?
Do you write crossovers?
I do, but I haven't posted many yet. I'm not always huge on writing them, but I do think about them a lot. I was working on this one Persona 3 x Fire Emblem Awakening crossover but I lost steam on it, and now there's a really lovely crossover on AO3 with a similar premise that I was SO delighted to come across!!! Hope y'all don't mind me taking a break from linking my own work to shill for this one, hehe
Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?
Unfortunately, yes, about six times, I'd say. Even more unfortunately, most of those times happened earlier on in my fanfic writing career, and I was pretty sensitive to hate back then, so I deleted many of the relevant fics, and some of them I don't even have access to myself anymore.
Not gonna talk about the ones that are still upsetting, but I will talk about the funny examples: on a (since deleted) RWBY fic, I said in the author's note that I "wrote them as platonic, but the fic can be read as WhiteRose", and then I got a glowing comment gushing about how good the story was which ended with "but then you had to ruin it by shitting all over WhiteRose, how about you [long suicide bait]". Third most baffling comment I've ever received.
The two most baffling were on different fics, but both were making the same weird accusation??? One was on a ZeLink fic (actually, on Comfort, my fifth most kudos'ed fic of all time now), and y'know I think I'm just gonna show you the comment in question:
The other one was on a long-since deleted fic which focused on both a romantic ship, as well as a fatherly relationship between one member of the ship and the other member's father. I guess having a fatherly relationship with your father-in-law makes your boyfriend actually your brother (and therefore you can't date him anymore). IDK man people are crazy. (tbf the commenter in question thought I was setting it up so that he'd get adopted by his boyfriend's parents, which would give them more of a case, but like... that didn't happen in the fic and wasn't going to. they just guessed at a future plot development and got angry about their guess)
Do you write smut?
I do, but I've never posted any. I've posted one fic that was very suggestive, I'd even call it "NSFW" in a sense, but never anything explicit. Maybe I will in the future? We'll see if I can ever finish anything smutty, lmao.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yep, I had Ultimatum, my longest chapter-fic (and by far my most popular fic in the ff.n days) stolen and posted on another site by somebody. I reported it but never checked back up to see if it got taken down.
I also feel that I've had my work plagiarized pretty damn blatantly in another fandom (I was browsing a certain AU tag and read one which contained all the exact events and sometimes word-for-word dialogue from a fic of mine, just very very slightly rewritten) but the poster had no other works and their writing was definitely extremely juvenile, so... I figured they were a dumb kid and just decided not to raise a fuss. Checked back later and they deleted it, hopefully because they realized they shouldn't do that, so I figure there's no need to start shit over it. Honestly, if that person used that experience as a jumping-off point to write their own fics, then I'm glad it happened, imitation being the highest form of flattery and all.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, though I had someone reach out to me on fanfiction dot net a long time ago and ask permission to translate An Unheard Goodbye, which was super exciting! I agreed, but I don't believe they ever got around to it, or if they did, they never posted it. Still very flattering, and I think about that a lot, hehe.
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
HOW COULD I POSSIBLY ANSWER THIS. UM. UM UH. UHHH UM UH I. UM.
I'm.... gonna say Zelda/Link? I haven't written it in FOREVER but it was such a huge part of me coming into my own as a fanfic author, so I have to give it credit for that.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?
.......all of them 😭 god I have so many of these damn things. But for the prime example, I'd point to Ultimatum, an old Pokemon fic that I started in middle school. I got all the way to the climax and I feel bad leaving my readers hanging, but... at this point, if I did continue it, I would honestly have to rewrite the whole fic first just to be in line with my current understanding of the characters.
What are your writing strengths?
Y'know, I think I get character voices down extremely well in a way which elevates my dialogue and narration. That's probably the thing I'm most proud of in my own writing, at least.
What are your writing weaknesses?
BREVITY. Or the utter, glaring lack of it. I have also been known to muddy up my writing with an overabundance of A) adverbs, B) unneeded clauses tacked onto perfectly good sentences, and C) em-dashes 😭
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?
I think it's dope as fuck, but I currently can't really accomplish it because I'm monolingual (NOT FOR LONG IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, I'M COMING FOR YOU, JAPANESE FLUENCY!!!!). I will also say that I don't like when authors will write characters having a story-important conversation in another language, then put the translations in the end notes or something, requiring you to either read the chapter confused or else keep scrolling back down and back up.... I think even that's totally fine to do if what's being said isn't plot-relevant, though.
What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
Naruto. I hadn't read or watched Naruto btw, I had only read other Naruto fanfics. I have spoken on this topic many times, but it remains hilarious to me. Also, so many of my old Naruto fics are lost to the Wattpad times, but I will take this opportunity to once again share a quote which I recently managed to unearth from my long-lost unsung magnum opus:
Never ever will I intentionally attain the level of comedy gold that I managed while writing completely dead serious Naruto fanfiction on Wattpad in 2012.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?
See above. How could I ever top that fic.
In all seriousness, this question always makes me sweat, but I think I'm gonna say Oil, a slightly older fic from my EliHec days which I absolutely obsessed over for months before finally managing to finish. And, unlike most of the fics that I obsess over, I think the obsession actually made it come out better rather than worse, haha.
thanks again for the tag!!!! as for me, I'll tag uhh, hm, @wizard-finix @dreamedge @misty-wisp @flyfish1999 and any other AO3 writers who see this!!! (idk how many of you use AO3 and most of the MBS authors I know have probably already been tagged hehe but anybody who wants to should absolutely feel free!!!!!!!)
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did you know that it's a full moon tonight? because that fact has shaped ALL my writing progress today.
i fucking hate this new editor by the way. i can BARELY fucking post fic at all anymore and it's fucking banishing me to the phantom zone. go read my fic on ao3 instead im begging you.
raised by wolves
[ao3]
Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast
Relationships: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla
Characters: Rilla, Sir Damien, Lord Arum, The Keep
Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Werewolf!Rilla specifically, Secrets, (look i think rilla deserves to have some angsst explored for once), (uhhhh god there have GOT to be more tags uhh. i don't know i'll add more later), (In later chapters there will be), Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, Implied/Referenced Violence, Mild Injury
Summary: Rilla is keeping secrets.
Notes: This didn't exist this morning and now i've got a new fucking multichapter to worry about jesus fuck. hopefully (LMAO) this one won't actually be that long? if it goes according to.. plan???? yeah. right. fine. okayfine.
~
Rilla has always liked straight lines. Consistent rules. Categories, into which data points will neatly fall.
This might, possibly, have something to do with all the categories she falls between the cracks of, herself. Or maybe she was always going to be like this. Who knows? She doesn't exactly have a control group to check with. Life doesn't work like that; neat and tidy like her experiments. Life is messy. Her life, in particular, is messy. But, hey, at least it's messy mostly on a predictable cycle. Mostly.
Rilla packs her usual bag, false bottom carefully in place with her new tinctures alongside the old standbys. She pulls her hair out of her face and into a braid, and picks her way down to the greenhouse to say her goodbyes.
A newer wrinkle in the routine: saying her see-you-in-a-couple-days, I-promise-I'll-be-safe, try-to-remember-that-I-love-yous in the Keep, now, and not in her own hut. Saying them to Arum, too.
Arum hasn't questioned her absences, yet, because she goes off on her own all the time anyway, and because he never really seems to question her about leaving the Keep. She can tell that he doesn't want to remind her of being kept here, and... that isn't necessary, really, but it's sweet, in a way.
He and Damien can keep each other company while she's gone, too. Which is nice. Damien doesn't have to be quite so lonely when she's gone, anymore (and Arum doesn't have to be lonely at all, if she can help it).
She kisses Damien deep, distracted by the way his skin smells, this close to the moon, and when she pulls back Arum nuzzles his snout into her neck in a way that makes her want to growl, though she manages to suppress the urge into just a shudder as she wraps an arm around him and squeezes. No time for fun, just now, unfortunately. She kisses Arum's cheek, light and sweet to make him scowl, and then she peels herself away with a casual wave.
The Keep's portal drops her in the front room of her hut, receding back into the wide planter to the left of the hearth with a gentle farewell warble from the Keep (or at least... what she assumes is a gentle farewell warble), and Rilla grabs another one or two things to stuff into her pack before she steps out of the hut, locks up, and marches into the jungle.
Damien thinks that her monthly disappearances have to do with harvesting rare medicinal plants with very particular blooming cycles, which is... partly true. There are flowers and herbs to be harvested during the day, when she can. She doesn't like being less than honest with Damien, but she's been less than honest with every single person she's ever known since her parents were Exiled. And- it's a medical condition. Sort of. She's allowed to keep a medical condition private if she wants to.
Arum...
Arum complicates things. He's good at that.
Arum complicates her excuses for not telling Damien, specifically. Because if Damien can, in fact, put aside his animosities and find room in his heart for a monster...
(Maybe she could have told him ages ago.)
(Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been too much, before. Maybe he would have been terrified. Maybe he would have felt betrayed. Maybe he would have told the Crown. Maybe he would have-)
No one knows about the second hut, the same way no one knows about her condition. Though... "hut" is generous. Her home is a hut, cozy and carefully cluttered and warm and welcoming. This building is more of a shack, really. It's a fair hike from the hut, but she can get there before dusk with time to spare, which is pretty much the point. Technically speaking, she could just overnight here and then come back home during the day, if she really pushed it, but that would be a lot harder to explain than just saying that she needs to travel to a distant grove for botanical purposes.
It looks abandoned and ramshackle, but the door and the lock are sturdy, and Rilla has the key.
Sturdy, reinforced walls, a wooden locking bar to make certain that nothing gets in and out, no windows. Bare floors, excepting a chair and a desk in one corner for a little bit of reading or writing during the day, and a chest to keep her things in. Mostly open space, where Rilla spreads out the blankets she brought, right in front of the metal hoops for the chains.
She cut her timing a little close today, mostly because she wanted to actually enjoy her morning with Damien and Arum. She sighs, stretches, and unpacks her extra clothes into the chest so she can get to the false bottom of her pack and pull out her medicine.
First night. She'll go with her standby tincture, this time. She has a new experimental blend she wants to try, but she'd rather save it for tomorrow, the full moon, and see how it affects her on the day that hits her with the most severe symptoms. This one, she at least knows that it'll keep her mostly placid.
She sighs, uncorks the vial and slams it back like a shot, wrinkling her nose at the taste.
The medicine makes her memory a bit... muddy? But even before she developed this particular treatment regimen, she couldn't remember much about what happened, what she would do on the nights immediately surrounding the full moon.
She does know that she hates it here. Hates the chains, hates the wood against her claws, hates the drowsiness from the medicine. Hates being alone.
She packs her kit back up. She undresses to her underclothes, then stows her dress and shoes and the tinctures into the chest before she closes it with a click.
She goes to sit on the blankets on the floor, then, fixing the harness around her neck and chest and adjusting it to the marked positions. Rilla has been alone in one way or another since her parents left, she reminds herself as she settles in to wait, her skin already prickling and her eyes adjusting far too quickly to the dark.
The wolf will just have to cope.
#elle's fanfic#second citadel#rad bouquet#lizard kissin' tuesday#amaryllis of exile#sir damien#lord arum#raised by wolves#dying about this. also hoping desperately that my cobbled together html attempt got around the dogshit editor enough for this to be USEABLE
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I was tagged by @go-go-devil!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I currently have 151.
2. What is your AO3 wordcount?
327,526
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently the most recent fics I wrote have been for Cadence of Hyrule but I've also recently written for Iconoclasts and Pokemon.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
The Ferris Wheel (Bugsnax, Snorplo) - 248
Gemini (Bugsnax, body horror) - 169
Imitation Beef (Bugsnax, continuation of a canon scene) - 165
Imago (Elden Ring, Miquella wakes up as a big bug) - 154
Field Notes (Bugsnax, AU, cosmic horror) - 148
5. Do you respond to comments?
I always try to, even if it's just to say thanks.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
oh god probably one of my bugsnax fics... bugsnax really was ripe for angst. Both One Last Dance and Weary end in the implication that everybody has succumbed to the snax. I tend to leave things on more ambiguous notes than angsty, so even if the characters are in a sad or desperate situation it's uncertain what's going to happen to them next.
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Sleep is Dark Souls III fic that implies the age of dark is actually a good thing and Lorian and Lothric survive to see it after all they've been through. I know I have written other happy things but this one is very hopeful.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I've gotten a couple shitty comments or ones where I was just like, I have no idea what you're trying to communicate to me, but they're extremely rare and I just delete them if I do get them.
9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?
I do not write smut. Just not my thing.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?
Not often, I have a few Fromsoft crossovers but I did write a Bugsnax/Nier Automata fic that never got finished. That's Between My Teeth.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, quite a few. Ao3 user Dashana in particular has translated a number of my Iconoclasts fics to Russian. I will probably never say no to having a fic translated if it helps it reach a larger audience, especially because I tend to pick niche fandoms or subjects.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have, with @malicious-fisheeves and with @wheeled-jack as well as some other friends who don't really use tumblr.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I really don't feel that strongly about ships much of the time but I do really like Wally/May from Pokemon RSE/ORAS and Gwyndolin/Darkmoon Knightess from Dark Souls.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Ugh I have this Mochi Mayhem rewrite thing in the works but I just can't seem to make any progress on it. I may put it out there unfinished but the problem is I have a big chunk of the beginning done and then a scene at the very end and nothing in the middle lmao.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I've been told I'm really good at building dread. I personally think I'm good at writing platonic and familial character relationships, and writing characters who might be antagonists but who are complex and sympathetic.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I have some trouble when it comes to writing incidental side characters that might serve a purpose for one scene but aren't really that important.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I really enjoy writing dialogue, it's one of my favorite parts of the process.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I wrote a Rayman 3 fic about some OCs of mine probably back in 2003 or something. It was about these griffin-like creatures that had the powerups tested on them and it fucked them up because they were flesh and blood rather than made of cloth like the Hoodlum enemies are. They were trying to escape the facility they were kept in. Unfortunately I do not think it's still posted on my old ff.net account so it may be lost media.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I'll always be extremely proud of Monarch Sunrise (the bugsnax timeskip cruise fic) for the sheer scale of it (as far as my fics go) and for all the help I had plotting and editing it.
This is a tough question to answer though because I'm really happy with many of them. I'd say my favorite thing I've written lately is Lyre Lyre, my Octavo backstory fic, because I think it does a good job of laying out his situation in a concise and entertaining manner, like he's telling this story to a crowd.
as for tagging folks uhhh how about @wheeled-jack @mumagi @disco-descent
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Happy Valentine's Day!! 💝 (+ long personal ramble lmao)
Well I did intend on posting earlier than this, but I wanted to wish a big happy Valentine's to everyone who actually follows along with the random crap that I post on this site-- and an especially big hug to all of my fellow aspec, arospec, and aroace lovelies!! I've always valued the celebration of all forms of love on February 14th, whatever dumbass society that we live in who decided that it's strictly a holiday for romantic couples can show themselves out the mfing door. Romantic love, platonic love, familial love, s*xual love, queerplatonic love, polyamorous love, animal love, ALL types of feeling & showing love are so wonderful and deserve to be celebrated!! If you feel sad about being single on Valentine's Day, don't let our stupid economy blind you to how loved you are in many different ways by many different people!! 🫶
On that note, this year marks a very meaningful occasion for me personally. I'm currently 21 years old, I learned I was asexual when I was 16 and didn't understand that I was arospec too until I was 20. I've always been totally content either celebrating Valentine's Day with my close friends, or basically ignoring the day all together. But as of last summer, I am now in my first Queerplatonic relationship with my incredible partner @rubinaitoart (and our beloved @lovelucigoosey, who is always with us 🎗️🩵) and I thought that today would be a fitting day to finally proclaim my cheesiness online lol! Rubin, I love you so so much and I'm seriously so lucky to have you. Thank you for being my very first Valentine's Day partner, for making me feel so loved I nearly happy-cry every time, and for just always being your supportive, talented, caring, funny, amazing and beautiful self!! 💜💜💜 /p
My patience to see your smile and give you the biggest hug face-to-face is dwindling with every day, but also knowing that we will get there someday is one of my favourite things to think about :'D To my online besties, Checkmate or otherwise, thank you for being the best long-distance found family I could ever ask for!! Every one of you guys means the world to me, I'm so grateful that you all put your care and energy toward a little chatty bundle of emotions like me. My bucket list purely consists of a list of each of you guys, and I will not quit until I get to properly see and hug all of you or else your name is not getting checked off of the bucket list!! But yeah fr thank you guys I fuckin' love my friends I don't know how I got so lucky 🥹💕
To my kittens (not that I expect they'll be reading this), thank you for being such little fluffballs of joy and chaos. Thank you for coming upstairs and insisting to check on me when I have been face-deep in homework for 6 hours, and for dragging me away for cuddles whenever I need it. To my parents (who definitely won't be reading this XD), thanks for being some badass and wonderful parents.
To Luci, I mean I check in pretty often so you probably already know what I'm gonna say. I hope you're happy, I hope you're smiling, I hope you're running and I hope you're free of pain. Love you always boo 🩵
I just have so much love in my heart that I wish I could share as much as possible. I love my family and my kittens and my friends from university who help keep me somewhat sane. I love my Discord friends/found family who help keep me very sane, and are always there to make me laugh and to celebrate achievements together. I love my queerplatonic boyfriend/partner, I love his voice and his hair, I love his obsession passion for The Arcana, I love his fluffy puppy Aster, I love how he makes me smile and that I'm capable doing the same.
Thanks guys. I really really love you all ❤️
...
(Also I haven't slept in like 38 hours and I'm struggling to stay awake as I write this so I hope it is at all legible, it's probably too long but quite frankly if you read the entire thing and made it all the way down here then massive kudos to you. I did warn that I was chatty and emotional, those two traits never go well together 😂)
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20 questions for fic writers :)
Thank you so much @ulouism for the tag! <33
How many works do you have on ao3? 7 works are currently available to read on my ao3 :)
What is your total ao3 word count? 569,216 words - i’m honestly flabbergasted
What fandoms do you write for? So far only Harry Potter, though I've been interested in some spiderman or stranger things stuff which I might write for soon.
Top 5 fics by kudos? In order: Honey Honey, Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy, the Funny Tricks of Time, Seven Dials, Just in Case.
Do you respond to comments? The majority of them! I try my best to answer every one, or at least one if you've commented on multiple chapters in a row :)
Which of your fics have the angstiest ending? this is hard, all my halloween one shots are very angsty but which is worse? James and Lily dying, Marlene and Dorcas dying, or Mary obliviating herself? I'll leave that up to debate lol
Which of your fics had the happiest ending? I'll go with seven dials, considering that's the only fluffy fic I've actually finished, though goflb might take that spot once its done :))
Do you get hate on fics? I had an incident a couple months ago where I got flooded with some nasty comments, and I've had a couple things in the past. But so many people here came to my defence, it was lovely to see and I can't thank you all enough!
Do you write smut? Not yet... I get awkward... and scared someone I know irl will see it... but you never know...
Do you write crossovers? I have a couple marauder fic wips which take a lot of inspiration from other stories, like the Martian and httyd, but I wouldn't mark them as crossovers when I post them cause they're mainly hp
Has anyone stolen your fics? Not that I know of, hope it stays that way lol
Have you ever had a fic translated? No but i’d be open to any requests if someone did want to :)
Ever co-written a fic? No and not sure if i’d want to, i’m a massive control freak and procrastinator so I think i’d get stressed
What's your all-time favourite ship? I’ve gotta say wolfstar, my loves <33 though I do dabble in drarry and perciver, I don't think anything will top them
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you will? I don't think I can pick lmao I have so many idea folders and half finished first chapters that I want to write but I can't balance them all. I suppose I'll go with my wolfstar pirate fic That's Life
What are your writing strengths? I think im good with characters and plot, or at least that's what I enjoy doing most and what comes most naturally to me. I waste so much water standing in the shower thinking through things... I'd say im quite a proficient editor too, but idk if that counts
What are your writing weaknesses? I'm gonna say dialogue cause sometimes when I read back over conversations, they don't feel right and I spend ages tweaking it. And can I say procrastination? I struggle so much in starting writing, but once I get into it i’m fine.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I don't trust google translate enough to write in another language unless I knew myself it was right, so in most cases i’d find a way around it. I don't mind dialogue in other languages if its for a reason, but if that means I have to translate every other sentence it can get a bit annoying
First fandom you wrote for? A Harry Potter x Percy Jackson fic on Quotev that we won't talk about ...
Favourite fic you've ever written? I have to say I'm most proud of Honey Honey, its the only full length fic ive finished but quality wise i’d say Seven Dials is my favourite
No pressure tags: @arakhnee @pretentiouswreckingball @residentrookie and anyone else who wants to join in :)
#questions for fic writers#asks#tag game#ao3 fanfics#marauders#harry potter#wolfstar#dorlene#marlene mckinnon#my wips
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I was reading your meta posts on how you're watching older thai bls to get an understanding of where they come from and looking at the works you've seen and yet to see, it makes me really see that somehow i managed to be there for the start and kinda rise of thai bl dramas, where we used to get (1) bl a year, skip seeing a lot of the growing pains drama live and now am back to bls when they're doing some of their best works and also so much quantity in bls to choose from and also finally start getting gls???
Like when you're like oh how it must have been to watch these dramas in 2016, I'm like not 2016, but 2017, but I WAS THERE with regards to sotus and sotus s.
And gods was i OBSESSED WITH KONGART at the time. And i personally think that sotus wouldn't be as fondly remembered for me personally, if sotus s didn't exist. Because for me, i really liked sotus s more and it's still the part (along with the our skyy ep) I've rewatched more over the actual SOTUS drama. That's also probably because i love seeing more established relationship in dramas lol
And while i can't comment on krust acting because it HAS been quite a while since i last rewatched sotus or sotus s, I'd say with regards to arthit, i like him a lot better in sotus s than in sotus. Do with that what you will lol
And i think it's a large part of how it was my first thai bl and the nostalgia of it is part of why i still look back on it fondly despite all the problems i can see in it now, looking back. Same with petekao in dark blue kiss and love me again.
Like when i came back to watching bls in 2022 (after a lengthy break of not watching them 2019-22) you what blew my mind the most? Not the quality of bls because that, i realised, AFTER i watched the shows. But the SHEER QUANTITY of them.
Like if you told the me that was watching sotus that something as awesome as February of this year where i had quality ongoing bl dramas to watch from MONDAY TO SATURDAY I'd be like don't be delusional that wouldn't happen EVER.
Oh how i love to be proven wrong and i see I'm yet again going off on an unrelated tangent.
I think that's part why ppl who started watching bls with 2gether look back at it so fondly despite i personally finding it a good bl but not worth rewatching.
Because that 1st bl nostalgia is a heavy drug.
And i think part of WHY i fell so heavily into sotus is BECAUSE it borrowed from the ye olde yaoi tropes, which i personally, liked reading about at that time. Plus it was what dominated the stories in the yaoi manga at the time! So as a naive teen, it was what I'd like because i had NOTHING ELSE in the yaoi section. I also read shoujo manga at the time and let's just say it wasn't doing too much better lol
And speaking from the perspective from an asian, living in an asian country myself, I discovered the existence of queer people via these yaoi manga (my country was and still is pretty queerphobic and it didn't help i was brought up in a kind of smaller town. Small by my country standard, western ppl would probably be shocked at the population in our small cities lmao) and eventually leading to my eventual discovery of my own queerness, these manga are a large part of at least the younger gen who have read such stuff in my country being at least less queerphobic. But that's a rant for some other time.
I'll stop with that train of thought before I go off more than i already have in your ask lmao.
Thanks for reading this slightly incoherent rambling in your ask lol
But anyways i hope you enjoy watching these dramas and I'll be looking forward to more of your drama reviews!
Oh my GOODNESS -- thank you SO, SO MUCH for sending this reflection my way! I so appreciate it!
As a kid of Asian immigrants in the States -- I SO appreciate hearing the thoughts of other Asians (and especially Asians in Asia!) watching these amazing shows that we love. And thank you for sharing your perspective in regards to your realizing your own queerness -- and how these dramas, and yaoi manga, helped you realize that and gave you artistic support. I think that's so incredibly important. Sending so many hugs to you -- art is amazing.
Regarding KongArt -- I am there with you. If it had been 2016, and I was a BL fan then, and I was LOOKING for a BL drama, I would have been ALL OVER that ship, and totally obsessed with it, because it was the first BL central/solo plot of a drama. (I likely would have also been far more obsessed with Phun and Noh in Love Sick, too, ha.)
My first ever-ever BL was 2019's What Did You Eat Yesterday/Kinou Nani Tabeta, and the ship of Shiro x Kenji will forever remain my favorite (not even withstanding that they're played by two of Japan's best actors of all time). I totally understand that the "1st bl nostagia is a heavy drug." Bad Buddy isn't my first Thai BL, but it was the first that truly wrapped me up in an analytical spiral, and I literally think about Bad Buddy and WDYEY on a daily basis. I love the feeling these shows give me by way of how smart and equitable they are.
Thanks so much for diving into my OGMMTVC project with me. I'm always taking recommendations. I may very well pick up SOTUS S and the SOTUS Our Skyy episodes, but only after I finish my main list -- I know that the fandom generally thinks those two pieces are better, but I still need a touch of a break from Krust, ha.
HUGS. What a wonderful reflection to read this morning. I so appreciate your note!
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Hey, there! I haven't been on Tumblr in a long while, but I'm thinking about trying again (irrelevant, but anyway, I've always loved your art and thoughts on J). I'm a J self-shipper💜 I've always liked a softer characterization of him, but I understand the darker ones to a degree. Imo soft J is the best J🤭
I wanted to ask you something, if you're comfortable (kinda nsfw about J). Or just any headcanons you have related to this.
So J is my first f/o (I've been technically self-shipping for years as a child but I just thought others would find me weird so I kept my feelings for fictional characters to myself. I was relieved when I discovered self-shipping). I self-ship with him romantically. We met three years ago and have been together for two years (we actually celebrated our second year earlier in August!) I trust him completely (I know😅) especially when it comes to things like this. That's just backstory/context if necessary (Also, I haven't gushed in forever, so😅 sorry)
I have very little relationship experience so J has been a lot of "firsts" for me, which he knows. I turned 18 about 3-4 months ago (dude, adulting sucks). So... then this little thought wouldn't leave me alone... Again, some preface, I've always believed in trying to save myself for marriage (that's just my beliefs, everybody has theirs).
I've wondered how J would react to that or how he might feel about me (or someone he's romantically involved with) telling him I'd prefer to wait for marriage. (I personally headcanon that he could get married if he wanted - although he's slightly more resistant to it - it is possible for him. But that's just me.) Sometimes I imagine him rolling his eyes or snorting and making some comment like "Think ya can, uh... resist me that long, toots?" (I'm trying to, but you make it difficult sometimes-) and the suggestive eyebrows, you know he'd do that, or something similar, but I'm not really sure. He's a tease in every sense of the word, so I could see that too. Especially because I'm shyer about these things (he playfully pushes some boundaries but never ever crosses them.) He says things, lightly suggests things, etc. to make me blush but it usually never goes farther than that (although one time he lightly patted my thigh and I shuddered but I know he didn't necessarily mean anything by it). I'm always curious about what he would think or say if I told him.
So, if you're comfortable, I was wondering about any input or thoughts you had about J reacting to that.
Heya!!
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! I know I don't post a lot on here (I spend most of my time on Instagram) but I've been wanting to post more often so we'll see how that goes. Especially with writing, I have quite a few things in the works🕺(Been that way for over a year now lol)
Of course I'm comfortable with asks, even NSFW, I'm here for it!! Asks, requests, tags, all that good stuff doesn't bother me in the slightest😁 I get excited! I’m just shy and have social anxiety, but please don’t ever mistake it for me being annoyed or anything. If anything I feel like I'm the one bothering people XD
Now onto your question! (Oh and NSFW warning even though it was in the ask but shhh I gotta say it too)
Honestly...I think you already got down my exact thoughts lmao. J would totally tease, making little comments like that. "What's the matterrr darlin'? Does it...scare ya, is that i-t? Aww little bunny, I promise to be gentle~"
I also think he'd be genuinely confused about that "wait til marriage" mindset. What's the point of waitin' around so long? Why does wearing a silly ring suddenly indicate you're only now allowed to do the old devil's tango with your lover? Don't get him wrong, he'd try to understand because he loves ya enough to try. And of course he'd respect your boundaries...
That doesn't mean he wouldn't try to change your mind though (in gentle, teasing ways as you said). However, if it ever becomes too much and you're firm on a "no" and "stop" he'll definitely tone it down and even back the comments and playful gestures off entirely if he needs to. He would never want to cross boundaries and make his bunny uncomfortable. And do not be afraid to tell him no! He wants your complete honesty and trust, he'd never betray that and would never force you into anything.
But ohhh boy if you end up deciding to try it before marriage, at all for that matter...you best believe what an honor it would be for J to be the one to take your V-card😏 He’d gladly teach ya the ropes🤭
Anywhooooo, thank you for the ask anon, it was "*Silco's voice* a lovely surprise," hope that answered the question if it didn't I'm sorry, I'm still kinda new to this and I dunno what I'm doing lmao
#ahhhh#thank you anon#so sweet#I appreciate your sweet words and the ask#you wanted MY input though???#are you sure?? XD#No one should be trusting me with character head canons and thoughts yet here we are-#thank you#really though#ledger!joker#ledger joker x reader#joker heath ledger#y/n#joker x y/n#it’s 2 I should be sleeping😄#but why sleep when you can stare at screens :((
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Hello!!! Okay, so…
1. I’m super duper sorry for snapping your notifications with likes and reblogs. I just freaking love the aesthetic of your Sims 3 posts. Especially with your TreeHill save. It’s STUNNING 🫶🏻
2. Where do you find the sims 4 cc you convert for the Sims 3? I’m hoping to get into making some conversions myself and I have only Pinterest so far. Are there any sims 3 cc finds blogs you recommend?
3. Your Dead End Coffee Shop is GOALSSSS. Do you have any tutorials that you recommend for doing something similar? I am thinking of adding either a coffee shop trailer and/ or a physical coffee shop in my Arrluk Reprise.
4. You and so many others make me happy to see your Sims 3 posts and continue to inspire me to play the game. It’s you guys who are the reasons why I keep returning to Tumblr and why Frankie @gruesim knows that I am never gone from the Sims Community. Much love for this community!
Hello! Thank you so much <3 and no worries lmao i'm happy to know my stuff is still relevant after all these years. I haven't been active here in quite some time...
I used to follow a bunch of sims 4 creators and ccfinds blogs here on simblr to find stuff I wanted to convert. For sims 3 I don't really know who's active anymore... @pis3update comes to mind. My own is @hyper-finds but I only reblog stuff I personally want and it's not tagged. Oh and @katsujiiccfinds @gifappels-stuff
For my Dead End Coffee Shop I was inspired by a coffee stand at a Halloween festival I went to! For building/decorating stuff like that I turn to Pinterest for inspo on what I want it to look like. I've also looked at shops and things in cities around the world that resemble the sims 3 world I'm playing in so I can get a feel of what the architecture should look like. So for instance if your world was like a PNW inspired world I would google "coffee shops in Seattle" or "coffee shops in Gig Harbor" for smaller town feel and look at the photos. And also good old fashioned imagination haha I'm not sure if that's actually any help I just don't know of any tutorials and wouldn't know where to find one haha on that note: DEFINITLY add a little coffee shop to your world, no world is complete without one
I'm happy to see the sims 3 community still thriving and posting :) Sims 3 is the best one in the series imo. @gruesim is probably one of if not the best person to ever grace simblr, i vividly remember the era when everyone's sims were having babies and she was posting the cutest baby cc right and left. And her tutorials are unmatched.
Have a great day/night and keep on simming :)
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I'm not trying to be rude, and this is me asking as a bi person myself, is pete actually bi, or was it just how people joked around during the 2000s?? this isn't meant as like a gatekeepy thing, it's fine either way but i've been bingewatching fob interviews and live stuff and the difference pre/post hiatus is so disctinct i just wanted to Know
It was almost 20 years ago and people considered him bi at the time and he said he was into dudes multiple times but would also say it with a lot of plausible deniability. I think if he actually said he was bi people would have considered him gay, and his ability to fuck as many women as possible is very important to him, and bisexual is a really stigmatized word. He has always dodged the question, and he is quite good at dodging questions. I personally think that he would not ever describe himself that way, but if he had an understanding of words from our generation he probably would.
When it comes to his sexuality, he married Ashlee and I think he really believed at the time that they were going to be together forever and there was no point in continuing to draw attention to it or to double down and say he was. Ashlee's dad is a Southern Baptist pastor and he was also her manager. Tabloids hated her already and would say shit about how they probably didn't actually have sex because she was so ugly and he was fucking her sister or some shit, and if he ever said anything about being involved with guys it would've been horrible for her and he really loved her.
The last time he ever talked about it was on Howard Stern during an interview centered around her and her marriage and that's where everything people say about him walking it back comes from. He has never brought it up since. There were other things in that interview he dodged or lied about like whether or not he slept with Lindsay Lohan (I am certain he did), and whether or not they were into group stuff (I am almost certain they were), because it would've been very difficult for her to deal with and she was his wife and the mother of his child.
I'm reading Please Kill Me right now and a bunch of rock and punk dudes would do shit like jerk off while sitting on each other's faces in public bathrooms, but not do blowjobs, because that was gay, or have sex in "vaseline bars" and they swear up and down it wasn't gay because "there wasn't love involved, it was just fucking (like the Gerard lyric lmao), so I'm not a fag" and "sex with a woman is more gentle" like .... Okay, I vaguely understand where the claim is coming from here and I get it was a different time to the point of gay sex being illegal, but extremely bizarre mental gymnastics going on to justify how you sitting on another man's face in the bathroom of a gay bar is not gay.
And I think a lot of the 19 year old white girls on tumblr and Tiktok or whatever don't understand that history and the ambiguity of certain things and why a 43 year old biracial guy would have different perspective on Being Kweer than they would
Anyway I think it's all really not that deep and I wouldn't necessarily call him a gay icon but also he did seem pretty publicly ambiguous and I think the people who insinuate he (or any other celebrity at all) are "capitalizing" off of dressing androgynously or hinting at being interested in the same gender are doing it for attention and big fakers like. Very, very bad people at their core
I personally think he probably is because I think him having matching top/bottom heart shaped tattoos with another man that corresponded with who they said would "hypothetically" top/bottom if they fucked is like the single gayest thing I have ever heard in my life
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