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honey-milk-depresso · 4 months

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could i request stardust, licorice, and shadow milk cookie with a reader that's smaller than them?,, thank you,,,

Take note that Shadow Milk Cookie just appeared recently as a cutscene, so for him it might be a little OOC.

CRK with an s/o smaller than them

Stardust Cookie

I think there’s plenty of cookies smaller than him, but you make it even more so. Like you’re just tiny around him.

And then he floats??? Sometimes you have to puff up your cheeks a little to tell him how unfair he’s being right now to which he blushes slightly and chuckled quietly, slowly descending down on his two crispy feet again.

He likes how small you are, that he can wrap his cape around you and bring you into a hug from behind. He just has this urge to protect you from all the harms of the Galaxy. Literally.

Stardust likes to hug you often, your small size allowing him to do so easily and he feels like he can love you properly while you’re in this size. He genuinely thinks your short stature is adorable and what makes you beautiful in his eyes.

Overall, Stardust is a simp for you- <3

Licorice Cookie

Shorter than him you say? He has an above average height for a cookie, so there’s plenty of cookies shorter than him. But you make the greatest armrest for him.

He teased you incessantly to no end about your height, always putting stuff off the top shelf on purpose like the little shit he is so you would come running for his help to grab it for you, or pretending he can’t see you while you’re literally right next to him.

Although, the moment YOU get teased by someone else for being short, he’s after them with his Licorice servants coming after them and make them regret ever teasing you about your height! Only HE can do that (hypocrite-)!

Licorice is pretty protective of you since your so short, usually having at least one or two of his Licorice servants around to stay on guard for you, like your tiny chewy bodyguards.

That’s your protective, hypocritical cookie for you. <3

Shadow Milk Cookie

You thought Licorice was a nuisance in teasing you about your short height? Well Shadow Milk Cookie is a complete BASTARD, LITTLE SHIT OF THE CENTURY.

He will tease you relentlessly with every nickname related to your short stature: shortcake, shortbread, little muffin, mustard seed, he is a menace. Puts things on the high shelf WHILE you’re trying to reach for your things and his lanky and tall ass height makes you become his armrest tenfold.

But like Licorice, if anyone else teases your height… oh boy, oh boy will they get it. He will reign overly unnecessary chaos to them that you kinda have to stop him. This cookie has the audacity to then get all whiney and sulky about how that cookie was mean when he does the same thing, making him an even bigger hypocrite.

Overall, he’s the biggest hypocrite you’ve ever met but he’s your hypocrite. <3

Reblogs help! ^^

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cookierunauprompts · 4 months

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I just had a crazy idea: Shadow Milk Cookie imitating Reader Cookie as soon as he sees them.

Imagine: He comes out of his prison, everyone is shaking in fear, and then he starts scanning everyone until his eyes land on Reader Cookie and he just goes "I'mma turn into them and mess around for a while!". Then Reader Cookie feels flabbergasted/intimidated and starts fearing the worst.

In short, Shadow Milk with shapeshifting powers!

i'll do you one better, he goes after everyone's knees/hj

Requested Prompts #20 - 💓♪

You watched on as the formerly imprisoned beast shapeshifted into each of your friends, picking out a thing or two to mock them for before going on to the next. A few of your highlights of the moment were when he went after Wizard Cookie for his height(literally just turning into a taller version of Wizard Cookie), and of course, him going after the fact that Pure Vanilla keeps on trying to sacrifice himself despite the fact the world still needs him. And then, of course, he got to you. " And then there's you," Shadow Milk Cookie began, turning back to his regular form. He grabbed you by the chin, staring right into your eyes. Unfortunately he cut you off before you could ask your stupid ass question you were thinking of. " What even are you? You're a constantly shifting blob of flavor and appearance, there's literally no logical or magical explanation for that!" He let go of your chin, throwing his arms up into the air. " I mean seriously! It feels like I'm talking to a bunch of different people at once yet also just one at the same time! What the hell is up with that?" He ranted. You took joy in seeing Cookie's who could see glimpse of your true form's confusion, it had been like that with all the other ancients alongside moonlight cookie. But in all seriousness... you were probably some kind of eldritch horror condensed into a cookie. " Yeah, uh, they're just like that. Apparently." White Lily spoke up, recovering from the emotion damage she'd taken. " Really?" Shadow Milk looked at you with suspicion, and you nodded your head to confirm White Lily's words. " Huh." He eventually said, looking back to his front yet not looking at anyone. " ... That's kind of hot actually-" He immediately gets smote by the guardian strike.

TLDR ; Reader is an eldritch horror probably.

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run au #crk #shadow milk cookie #cookie run au prompts #cr kingdom #beast yeast #shadow milk cookie x reader #pure vanilla cookie #white lily cookie #wizard cookie #crack

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backgroundagent3 · 2 months

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#i'm back on my nonsense #first crack post in a WHILE #agents of shield #aos #aos crack #jemma simmons #daniel sousa #daisy johnson #skye #quake #peggy carter #deke shaw #dousy #season 7 #7.05 a trout in the milk #background agent 3

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hermywolf · 2 years

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the boys + textposts 31/? some of these are @jaskierx‘s ideas!!<3

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zishuge · 2 months

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RNZ: must not kill li dongyuan must not kill li dongyuanmustnotki– The Spirealm 致命游戏 (2024) | Ep. 32

#the spirealm #致命游戏 #kaleidoscope of death #ruan nanzhu #li dongyuan #xia zhiguang #liu xiaobei #cdrama #cdramasource #kodedit #userhanyi #*gifs:mine #he's seething lol #his visible deep calming breath asldfkajsdkfajs #also cracking up at the fact that yuanyuan's actually unwrapping the straw to drink the milk that xue-jie gave him #i will give you a gift as well. your life. –ruan nanzhu probably

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alex-frostwalker · 4 months

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Beast Yeast Episode 2 Spoilers

*SLURPPP*

This is some great angst!! ☺️☕

#Cracked Ice❄️#beast yeast #cookie run kingdom #crk #cookie run #pure vanilla cookie #shadow milk cookie #spoilers #cookie run kingdom spoiler #royal mike #screen recording #video

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fullcravings · 10 months

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Homemade Crack Pie

#homemade #crack pie #pie #momofuku #milk bar #copycat #dessert #recipe #oats #oatmeal #crust #brown sugar #butternutbakeryblog

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slasher-smasher · 3 months

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Tamp-On the Heroics (Homelander x gn!reader)

Two fics in one day?? Yeah, I am absolutely bored and highly caffeinated.

This is not meant to be taken seriously. I thought the idea would be silly and funny.

Words: 1,618

Masterlist: here

Warnings: None, unless you consider ridiculousness a warning.

Reader is written as GN but they do own a feminine product. I just used it as a plot device.

Not beta read.

Summary: Homelander finds himself in a sticky situation when his son, Ryan has an accident and he grapples with the challenges of parenthood and unexpected emergencies. Being bombarded with texts from a hysterical supe boyfriend was not something you were expecting when you went to work that morning.

Your phone goes off five times during your shift at your job. At first you didn’t think anything of it. Probably just a telemarketer or some scammer calling to let you know about your “cars extended warranty”. Jokes on them, you don’t own a car. Why ride when you can fly first class on Homelander airlines?

When your phone rang a third time, you got a little curious. Maybe it was someone trying to get a hold of you. But who? Your friends are here at work with you. Your boyfriend Homelander rarely uses his phone to get a hold of you, plus he would just fly over if he really needed something. You tried sneaking your phone out to check before you boss walked like a prison warden, hands laced behind their backs, eyes scanning for anything they can chew you out for that is preventing you from doing your work. You weren’t really the best at subtlety so when you attempted to pull your phone out from your desk drawer, you almost slammed the drawer on your fingers in your hurry to close it as your boss poked their head around the corner to call you for a quick meeting in the staff room.

Damn.

After the fifth time was when you got worried. You swiped your phone then rushed into the restroom locking the door behind you. Seeing eleven notifications of missed texts made you feel a surge of panic. Your fingers tremble slightly as you unlock your phone to scroll through the messages.

Heroic Hunk : Hey pumpkin, just checking in on you. I would fly over but Ryan is visiting. 😊

Heroic Hunk: Oh, I just remembered, did you put milk on the shopping list? We are going to need more. Ryan keeps guzzling down MY milk when he puts that fucking sugary strawberry powder shit in it. I swear he was dropped as a baby. Fucking gross.

Heroic Hunk: Precious, funny story… So I was helping Ryan practice his flying and we thought playing catch would have been a fun challenge. He got a bit too into it and there may have been an accident.

Heroic Hunk: Ryan flew face first into a tree…🤦🏼

Heroic Hunk: Okay, so Ryan just had a nosebleed, and you are not picking up. I'm freaking out a bit. What do I do???

Heroic Hunk: Seriously, what's the protocol here? Should I call a doctor? Should I fly him to a hospital? Why are you not picking up??

Heroic Hunk: I'm starting to panic a bit... his nosebleed won't stop! What if it's something serious? I NEVER HAD A FUCKING NOSEBLEED BEFORE!!

Heroic Hunk: I tried using a tissue, but it's not helping much. Should I try something else? How can my kid bleed so much? ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE!

Heroic Hunk: Okay, update: I found something in the bathroom. I saw this being used in a movie. Going to see if it works. I’ll call you after.

Heroic Hunk: It seemed to work, but now I'm worried I've done something wrong. 😬

Heroic Hunk: Update: The bleeding stopped, but Ryan's giving me weird looks. Was that a bad move? Please advise a.k.a call me back.

Heroic Hunk: Crisis averted! 💪 Love you! 😘

You were so confused and incredibly worried now. What the fuck has happened? Why did John think having a young child—who recently just learned how—fly through a forest AND play catch at the same time was a good idea? You can’t leave your boys alone for two seconds without something either burning down or someone ends up bleeding.

You looked at the time on your phone before you pressed the call button next to the name he put in for himself.

It rang twice before he picked up.

"Hey pumpkin. You ready for me to pick you up?” He answered jovially. Like he didn’t send a plethora of panicked texts your way just an hour ago.

“Hi sweetheart. I am really sorry I didn’t answer my phone earlier. I was in a meeting. Is everything ok?” You tried to keep your voice even and calm.

“Oh yeah. Everything is all hunky-dory. Just a little mishap. We are currently watching one of my movies. Kid is mesmerized.” Homelander replied with pride and a laugh, you could hear the tv in the background. Sounds of explosions and guns going off.

“Well ok. Yeah. I am ready. Need to file away some papers but I’ll be done by the time you get here.” You sighed, still a little unconvinced but you will find out everything yourself when you get home.

“Alrighty! I’ll be there in a sec. I’ll bring your jacket too since it’s starting to get chilly. Love you.” He made a kissing noise into the phone which you replied with your own I love you too and kiss.

He was right. It was getting chilly as you waited on the roof of your office building. You started using the roof for drop offs and pick ups when using the front entrance got too hectic. Having a celebrity boyfriend who was the most powerful supe came with the pains of having people fall over themselves just to get an autograph or photo with him. The swarms got so bad that you almost broke your arm being tripped as they rushed to meet their idol. That almost ended in a bloodbath which would not go over well with your boss when you had to explain that your short-tempered man-child of a partner lasered half of the employees over an accident.

“You look like you need a ride.” Homelanders' teasing voice snapped you of your thoughts making you look up as he slowly floated down to greet you. His signature cape swishing in the cool breeze. God he was beautiful. Blue pools that sparkled with mischief. His smug smile and corny jokes made your heart race and you couldn’t help but laugh.

You were so gone for this man.

“Hey there handsome.” You greeted as you settled yourself into his warm embrace.

“You ok? You look tired.” He asked, concern can be seen in his face handing you your jacket.

“Yeah, it was just a long day. Let's go home and get some dinner. Ryan is probably hungry.” You answered as you put it on and relaxed into his arms when he wrapped his arm under your knees and lifted you easily. Thank you super strength.

You could have fallen asleep with how gentle he was with you during the short flight back but you forced your eyes to stay open.

Landing softly in the front yard of the cabin you pulled him down to plant a kiss on his lips and thanked him for the lovely ride as always. Full stars on yelp. He let out a chuckle and took your hand into his as you walked into the house.

You let out a satisfied sigh as the heat from the fire in the fireplace greeted you. Looking around the living room you didn’t see Ryan which made you frown. He usually rushes to give you a big hug but he was nowhere to be found.

“Ry? I’m home.” You called out in a normal voice. Knowing he inherited his fathers sensitive hearing so there was no need to be loud.

“I’m in my room! I’ll be right out!” You heard him respond from deeper into the home. You looked back at Homelander who just shrugged.

“Probably playing with his little Legos. He said something about recreating a scene from the movie before I left to get you.” He supplied as he walked into the kitchen.

That boy and his Legos, you thought as you followed Homelander who poured two glasses of milk and handed you one.

“Did you get my text about the list? If not, then I can have someone drive out here and get everything delivered.” He asked before he took a sip of his favorite beverage. Holding your with both hands as you also took a drink. You were not as big of a fan as Homelander is but you do enjoy the cold taste of milk occasionally.

“I did but I wanted to ask Ryan if he wanted to go with me tomorrow. You know he likes looking at the Legos in the toy section,” You said as you took another sip then a thought popped into your head. ”Speaking of text, what did you end up using for Ryan’s nosebleed anyway?”

Homelander finished his glass with a large gulp licking his lips as he set the glass down on the counter. He looked at you with a proud grin which if you were honest, made you suspicious.

“I couldn’t believe it worked but it makes sense with what it is actually designed to do. Just a different hole.” Homelander lifted his hand, pointing at the ceiling and twirling it in a circle indicating to turn around.

Wait, what? Hole?

You gave him a confused look then turned around and spat out your mouthful of milk as you saw Ryan walk into the living room with a large grin that made him look even more like his father. What ruined the similarity was the dangling string that was attached to a piece of cotton shaped into a bullet that was shoved up his nostril.

“OH MY GOD. JOHN!” You couldn’t breathe due to the giggles shaking your body.

“What? It does the same thing!” He defended.

You completely forgot you had tampons in your bathroom.

“Well it did stop the bleeding,” you managed to breathe out as you walked over to give the boy a hug.

You love your boys so much.

#homelander #the boys amazon #homelander x reader #homelander x you #crack fic #my writing #Homelander is a milk drinker #ryan butcher #gn reader

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