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iamshawn · 1 year
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so badly want a penpal again to write letters to.
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Show idea: A trans guy lives with a cis guy he met on craigslist. Cis guy seems big and scary jock type when he's actually sweet. The trans guy looks like a cinnamon roll, but says/does the most out of pocket/intrusive thought things. Cis guy: *reading and drinking coffee* Trans guy: *from other room* Shit! Cis guy: *runs into the other room* What's wrong?! Trans guy: *covering his mouth a little* I licked the computer charger and got electrocuted
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iamshawn · 1 year
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If you think you're an idiot, just remember when I was getting my GED I went outside in the middle of a hail storm to yell "come at me bro" while my best friend hid under my bed
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Sirius: How's the sexiest person here doing? Remus: I don't know, how is he? Sirius: *flustered* I- James: *from across the room* I'm fine thanks!
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iamshawn · 1 year
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James: Sirius is that a hickey??? Sirius: It's a mosquito bite Remus: *walks in* Peter: Hey mosquito
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Tommy: *staring at a dead Wilbur* You know... He could be faking it Tubbo: Yeah what are you gonna do, poke him with a stick? Tommy: *reaches for stick* Tubbo: *makes him lower it* dude no
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Fwip: Where's Joel? Sausage: Sleeping in I guess Fwip: Do gods sleep? Sausage: I know he takes a lot of long showers Fwip: Right! And sings too. Like crappy old folk songs. I had to tell him to cool it like three times Sausage: You told a god to cool it? Fwip: Yeah I sleep
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Sausage: What's the word for when your hands are bisexual? Joel: Do you mean ambidextrous? Sausage: I'm in love with you
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iamshawn · 1 year
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lol the world my never know (look at tags zdy-simpsimps put)
Lizzie: So how old is the little guy?
Sausage: Oh easy he's-
Sausage: *pause before looking at Hermes* Um how old are you?
Hermes: *age redacted*
Joel: That's some lore right there
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Scott: You know what they say? Jimmy: Obey the law and turn the other cheek? Scott: Be gay, do crime
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iamshawn · 1 year
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Sausage: You were going to shoot me?! Lizzie: You're a zombie! Sausage: I'm a tax payer!
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iamshawn · 2 years
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Joel: My favorite part about making an omelette is the exact moment where you know you're making scrambled eggs instead
Lizzie: *giggles and glances at Fwhip*
Fwhip: Don't come for me like this
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iamshawn · 2 years
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Fwhip: Do British and Scottish people not drink ice tea as much as Americans do? What do they drink during the summer?
Scott: Tea
Joey: But it's hot
Jimmy: Only tea
Lizzie: There are no other drinks
Oli: Only tea
Fwhip: What... What if you don't like tea?
Joel: Then the weak shall die
Lizzie: Natural selection
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iamshawn · 2 years
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Philza: I remember the "selling their kid on ebay" story Tommy: Who sells their kid on ebay? That's nuts! That's a child. A living being you made!
Tubbo: Tommy exact- Tommy: That shit goes on etsy
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iamshawn · 2 years
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Jimmy: You owe me, like, a dollar! Joel: You'll have to kill me for it!
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iamshawn · 2 years
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Shelby: *to Katherine* When are we going to get married? Katherine: I- Joey: *from a distance to Shelby* Fuck off! I found her first!
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iamshawn · 2 years
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Scott: I am the Chromia Guardian, guardian of Chromia. Jimmy: The Warden quivers before him! Scott: *to the Warden* FUCK OFF!
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