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frans-murphy · 10 days
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Now
its time
to sleep
through the
morning (hopefully not)
because i couldnt sleep the
night before
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frans-murphy · 1 month
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I did care.
More than you ever did.
I cared very much.
I had never been in love before.
I don’t know if I ever will again.
eleos
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frans-murphy · 1 month
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I want to be loved and then also left alone
I want to hang out during the day and then isolate in the evenings
I want to be around love and not feel ignored when its gone
I dont want to share the bed sometimes
I know i am hard to love but i am still deserving of it, just as you are
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frans-murphy · 2 months
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Sylvia Plath
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frans-murphy · 2 months
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i feel like im better off alone no matter how much i want somebody
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frans-murphy · 2 months
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(Me to me) To quote Heathers: the musical
LETS BE NORMAL, SEE BAD MOVIES, SNEAK A BEER AND WATCH TV
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frans-murphy · 3 months
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frans-murphy · 3 months
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{Words by José Olivarez from Citizen Illegal /@fatimaamerbilal , from even flesh eaters don't want me.}
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frans-murphy · 3 months
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I was taken advantage of
One night it went farther than before
It just so happens to have happened on a day
that everyone knows as valentines day
and every year
I go into a spiral around that day
my contempt for romance
my discomfort
my anger
my distrust
my (self)abandonment
(If you hold hands in front of me i will gag)
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frans-murphy · 5 months
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From a lover to the hater i am
I hate couples
I hate happy couples
Yea, its resentment.
But why does a romantic relationship with a person have to be the pinnacle of human relationships?
Why do people pick their partners over their friends? (Im guilty of it as well)
I hate watching you kiss in public. Your handholding makes me sick and id like to see your happiness crumble and rot.
I dont need anyone
Still trying to find my own feet to stand on
Why cant i tell you that it feels like youd pick your partner over a dear friend any day of the week.
Why am I a plan b from when your partner cant make it over?
Why am I so bitter when I was once so full of love
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frans-murphy · 5 months
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― Mikhail Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita
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frans-murphy · 5 months
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Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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frans-murphy · 5 months
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I think back to kindergarten crafts, the kind youd throw away when you reach high school.
I think about how each craft piece, paper, glue stick, beads and supplies were most likely bought out of my teachers’ pockets, unfortunately.
Now im an adult buying my own craft supplies.
I stock my craft room like an elementary school class room, all the supplies to myself
I think about those teachers, wishing them well wherever they are and hoping someday they wont have to pay out of pocket to teach
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frans-murphy · 6 months
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When my sadness is all consuming, I try to care for myself like I would a child in distress.
Food?
Water?
Need a bath?
Some love, a hug?
Maybe a distraction.
Fresh air.
Change of clothes?
A nap
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frans-murphy · 7 months
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“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps but other people emphasize my loneliness.”
— Anais Nin
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frans-murphy · 7 months
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Shopping mall trips were reserved important trips
Xmas
Birthdays
And picking up someone from the airport
Nearly 3 hours of driving to reach the city
We didnt have a mall in our hometown so going to the city was special (our mall was a parking lot with a yarn store and a video rental place)
I think about how I asked my mom if I could spend a day at the mall for my 14th birthday with my friend, and how on my 21st birthday, i was living blocks away from that mall
My bumpkin ass was so excited to be within transit distance of a shopping mall
The novelty never wore off on me and I still get excited about going to a shopping centre, though I typically enjoy walking around more than buying anything
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frans-murphy · 7 months
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“Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life.”
— Joyce Meyer
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