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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years

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Ok i got an monster tom x scientist reader au universe thing and no it does not take place in the red army base

Reader is a scientist and is asked to run some tests on a new specimen/monster they found, and when reader sees the specimen/monster they actually think it's kinda cute but then some other scientists shock him and even stick some needles in him and reader just feels bad for the specimen/monster at this point so nighttime rolls around and they hack into the cameras to shut them off and wear a mask so they won't get caught and go to the main room where the specimen/monster is they the reader introduces themselves to the monster the monster, thinking they're gonna hurt them, immediately backs off obviously scared and reader convinces the monster that they're not gonna hurt them and the monster shrinks as he's mostly human and says "your not gonna hurt me?" And they reassure him that they're not gonna hurt him and they sneak into the readers car and drives off the lab that the monster was in and reader asks what the "monsters" name is and says their name is "tom". Then reader makes a pit stop to a store real quick to get tom some clothes and then reader drives to they're home and introduces tom to their room and asks if they want some food/ take out or not an he says yes and they get some chinese food and watch some TV, after eating they both go to bed and reader suddenly finds themselves in Toms arms whimpering a little, and reader just kinda decides to pet his hair and rub his horns a little bit which make him purr then tom wraps his tail around reader and asks them to do it more and they do do that untill they notice that he's asleep then they both fall asleep.

Whew, I enjoyed writing this one ^^

Summary: Reader, a scientist, rescues Monster Tom from the lab that experimented on him and brings him home

...............

"Dr. [L/n], I'll let you oversee today's tests on TR-03."

"Alright, chief." You smiled awkwardly as your supervisor handed you the clipboard. It contained the subject's information: a one-eyed horned monster of an unknown species, though your colleagues have theorized it to be a demon. "What kind of tests are we running on it?"

"Resistance to electric shocks. There's evidence of uranium possibly circulating in its blood, so you'll be watching them extract samples as well."

As he explained, your smile gradually dropped as you looked over the information, seeing a ton of redacted information, including several incidents of the destruction it caused prior to its capture.

"So it's gonna be shocked and stuck with needles? Sounds painful."

"Its armor is thick, so it shouldn't feel a thing. Besides...I don't think you need to worry about whether it'll be painful for it." Your supervisor spoke in a rather condescending tone. "After all it's just an animal."

"I...yes, sir. I'll go oversee the tests right away." Not wanting to argue further, you just left his office and wandered through the building.

You were eager yet anxious to meet this monster.

Eventually you reached the area where the creature was being held, climbing up the stairs that led to the skybridge so you could look down into its holding chambers.

It was a massive dark purple creature, with two bright violet horns and a single black eye. Surprisingly it was allowed full movement, though judging from the many claw marks on the walls...it wouldn't surprise you if one day it was chained up to restrict such behavior.

You actually thought it was..kind of cute? It looked scary in pictures, but up-close it didn't seem as terrifying.

That only made you feel more pity for it as other scientists entered the chamber, clad in protective suits, with electric prongs and needles.

Almost immediately the monster seemed aware of what they were going to do, its eye widening as it stood on both feet and cowered in the corner. It growled in warning, only for a scientist to jab its leg with a prong in response, eliciting a roar of pain.

You physically flinched, feeling bad for the creature. But you took notes on its response to electric shocks.

Subject recognized equipment immediately, perceiving them as danger. Responded painfully to electricity.

Soon after being tortured, the monster seemed dazed, allowing another scientist in a hazmat suit to approach it and stick a needle into its hip. The vial of blood collected turned out to be red, with a glowing green aura.

As you took more notes, you heard a small whimper and looked down, seeing that the monster wasn't putting up a fight.

Instead it was...crying?

Sure enough, tears leaked from its eye as more of its blood was drawn, being electrocuted as some sick form of "sedation". It was hard to tell whether the people inside felt any sort of sympathy, but they just took their leave without saying a word to each other. Only a mere nod.

You didn't want to be here any longer than you needed to, so you finished your report and began heading back to your office.

Though you noticed the monster looking up at you, and you couldn't help but frown and murmur a simple:

"I'm sorry."

.............

After your shift was over, normally you'd go home for the night.

But on the ride home...you kept thinking of TR-03 and couldn't shake the images and sounds of its pain.

The way it responded to just seeing the prongs, and the way it looked at you as though it was begging for help, seemed far too human for it to be just a mindless animal.

Of course, you never questioned the secrets this lab kept--not wanting to be fired. But they seemed to be hiding a lot of stuff about this specimen, never speaking about its origins or even what it was capable of.

You may have only seen it for the first time today, but you wanted to know more about it. And you had a feeling that you won't get the answers you wanted by asking around.

Oh no..you were going to free it in order to find out the truth.

Not just to satisfy your own curiosity, but also because...the way it was being treated was far too cruel. To the point where it was crying.

You couldn't stand for this unethical treatment any longer. You had to do something..and be smart about it lest you got killed or worse.

After making a quick stop at a store, you found a mask and changed your clothes, completely disguising yourself. Then you got back in your car and returned to the lab, parking it somewhere far away so that you can sneak inside.

Fortunately you had security access in case any of the specimen breached their chambers. Thanks to your hacking skills you were able to disable every security camera you could find, putting them all on timers so they'd turn on later in the morning. You didn't want to rouse any suspicion.

That was the easy part.

The most important and difficult task lied ahead.

...........

As soon as you entered the monster's chamber, it woke up and grumbled with annoyance. Clearly it didn't like its rest being disturbed.

Though upon seeing you and the mask you wore, it tilted its head. "Grrrah..?"

"Shhh, it's okay." You whispered, removing the mask so it could see your face. While you were awestruck to actually see it up close and personal, you knew you had to keep calm.

But that might've been a mistake as it seemed to recognize you--the one who was watching it earlier today. It immediately backed into a corner, terrified as its chest began heaving with anxiety.

You couldn't blame it for its reaction, though your gently put your hands up and hushed it. "Please don't panic. I'm not here to hurt you. I wanna get you out of here."

"Hrrgrah?"

"Mhm." Smiling, you just pretended you could understand it. "I don't like how they treat you here. They call you an animal but..I know you're more than that."

The monster calmed down a little, before glancing up to the opposite corner. He made a noise of confusion upon seeing that the security camera's annoying red light wasn't blinking.

"I shut that off so nobody can hear or see us."

"H...ack..?"

You blinked, surprised that it could speak some English, but the fact it wasn't cowering like before was a sign it was trusting you. "Yep, I hacked the whole security complex. Now's our chance to escape, but..ah shit."

Suddenly, it never occurred to you: your mission was focused on getting to the monster, but you never considered how you'll get out with the monster.

"Damn..I'm not sure how we'll sneak you out without...." However, you trailed off as you saw it changing into a smaller form.

But it wasn't just shrinking, it was actually turning partially human.

How curious, nobody told you about that. Maybe that was part of the redacted information.

The monster turned out to be a human male, who still retained his horns, tail, and dark scales and fur, which covered his body. His brown hair was messy and spiky, and interestingly enough he had two black eyes.

He didn't have any clothes, obviously, so you took off your coat and put it around him. "So you're human, huh?"

"Your stupid friends' experiments wouldn't let me turn back for a while..." He grumbled in a slight British accent. "You sure you're not gonna hurt me?"

Understandably he got defensive, knowing you were working for the people who tortured him. But you shook your head. "No, I won't. I'm quitting this shithole and I'll take you with me." You took his hand reassuringly, noting that it was still clawed.

He gave you the tiniest of smiles in return. "Heh, glad we're both in agreement."

Soon you both quickly made your escape, luckily not running into any trouble. Your car was still parked right where you left it, so you got in and drove off.

You definitely won't miss working for that lab.

The roads were mostly empty at this time of night, so you were able to breathe easy knowing nobody's gonna chase you. Now seemed to be the best time to talk with the monster.

"So uh..do you have a name?" You spoke up. "I know they call you TR-03 but it doesn't feel right to call you that anymore."

"Tom." He answered as he looked out the window. "My name's Tom Ridges."

'Huh, that explains his code name.'

"I'm [y/n]." After noticing a nearby plaza, you saw a clothing store and decided to make a quick stop there. Tom seemed to be confused, and a bit worried when you left him in the car all alone, though you reassured him you were just buying some clothes for him.

He waited, trying to keep himself out-of-view in case any strangers got too nosy. But before long you were back, opening the driver's side as you peered in and sighed with relief, seeing him halfway out of the chair.

"Jeez, you scared me..thought somebody got you." You sighed, shaking your head.

"S-Sorry, not trying to get any unwanted attention. It's the last thing I need.." He sat upright, though he was surprised when you handed him a bag. Inside was a blue hoodie, boxers, and gray sweatpants. "Oh, cool."

'That's all he has to say?' His reaction was a bit underwhelming. 'Then again..maybe he hasn't processed that he's never going back to that hell chamber yet.'

You just shut the door and waited for him to get dressed, and when he tapped on the window you got back into the car. He definitely looked more comfortable now.

After giving him a smile, you continued on your way home, feeling glad that you rescued him from that place. You had no idea if he had any place to go, granted you don't recall seeing any information on his address nor any relationships.

So he'll stay with you.

...........

"Luckily I got a spare room. Excuse the mess." You chuckled as you showed Tom the extra room in your house, turning on the light. "You can stay here for as long as you'd like."

He nodded as he looked around, before feeling his stomach grumble. In embarrassment he put a hand over it, glancing at you. "Sorry..the food they had was shitty, I'm sure you knew."

"Yeah...you want takeout?" You took out your phone. "I don't feel like cooking tonight so I was gonna order some anyway."

"Sounds good."

"Alrighty, I'll call in the order. We can go watch TV while we wait."

Once more Tom nodded, following you into the living room space where you both sat down on the sofa. He sighed and leaned back, turning on the TV while you ordered some Chinese food.

This situation felt so...comforting and familiar..

For a moment he gazed at you, seeing you look through the menu.

He knew he wasn't the only prisoner back in that lab. So he couldn't understand why you'd choose him, of everyone you could've helped, but...he considered himself lucky.

For once he felt like he could let his guard down a little.

Some time later the food arrived to your house, and you both ate it while watching various TV programs. You asked Tom a bit more about his home life, though he didn't have much to talk about.

Whether he didn't want to say anything or forgot it thanks to the experiments was a mystery, but you wouldn't pry. You'll get your answers sooner or later, though not tonight.

Tonight you both deserved a good rest.

Afterwards you headed off to your own room, letting him know that he can knock on your door if he ever needed anything.

You got into your pajamas and crawled into bed, yawning.

It had definitely been an eventful day. You were eager to sleep in, knowing that you won't ever go back to your boring (and unethical) job.

But just as you had turned off the lights and dozed off, you heard your door creak open. With a slightly annoyed sigh, you sat up and turned on the lamp beside you, before seeing it was Tom.

"Tom? Your room is..."

Though you fell silent when you heard him...whimper? His eyes were white, indicating he was in some kind of distress.

But he crawled onto your bed, practically situating himself in your arms while making sure he didn't jab you with his horns. You were perplexed by his actions, though you finally realized..

He was just scared.

You held him in your arms, rubbing his horns soothingly and petting his hair, murmuring promises that he was safe. In response he nuzzled up to you, tail wrapping around your body as you both laid down.

You only stopped for a moment as he started purring, which made you chuckle softly. "Purring, huh? That's new."

"Can you keep doing that?" He grumbled, closing his eyes. "It was nice till you stopped."

"O-Oh right, sorry." You continued the previous motions, deciding to hum a small song as well to help him sleep.

Eventually you stopped once he dozed off completely, and your cheeks felt warm upon seeing how adorable he looked. 'And to think I was afraid of this guy?' You mused, before turning off the lamp light.

Soon enough you fell asleep as well.

If this is how Tom expressed his thanks...you'll take it.

#clanask #anonymous #eddsworld x reader #ew tom x reader #monster tom x reader #scientist reader

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transmasc-wizard · 3 years

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autism? autism! me too!!! wanna rant about your special interests? go for it!

hello fellow autistic individual

be warned im about to talk a FUCK TON, specifically about the raven cycle. this post will very much need a "readmore" to keep it from clogging dashes

ANYWAY

the raven cycle is a YA urban fantasy quartet by maggie stiefvater published between 2012 and 2016, which also has a spinoff series "the dreamer trilogy" but ive only read the first Dreamer so far; i have a signed copy of the 2nd and am mildly worried ill ruin it. i first read TRC last year in july and am actually currently doing my 3rd read (via audiobook this time). So what is it about, you ask??? WELL

TRC stars 5 teenagers--Adam Parish, Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey, Blue Sargent, and Noah Czerny. the boys meet blue at a restaurant and somehow drag her into their "quest"--find the body of Owen Glendower in the hills of virginia and wake him up. They want to do this because when gansey was 10 he died via wasp stings and was brought back to life with the voice of glendower talking to him and now he's OBSESSED with finding glendower. Along the way we find out Blue is gonna kill her true love, and that guy probably is gansey (who only has a year to live).

u may be thinking, 'alright, cool plot, but why special interest-worthy?" and i shall gently yell BECAUSE ITS THE BEST WRITING AND CHARACTERIZATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS

Maggie stiefvater knows how to make the best characters, like, ever, because she doesnt do the typical YA thing of "oh uwu here are their flaws: theyre too nice, too sweet, too naive". she's got shit like "purposely failing school" & "stupid about money and insensitive to friends about it" and "refuses to ask for help" and "drinks to cope", y'know, things that are actually flaws to overcome.

they've also all got amazing little traits just-to-them; blue really likes trees, layers her clothing, loves yogurt, is the only non-psychic in a family of them, & shreds her shirts to make them look more interesting. Ronan races cars, knows how to farm, LOVES his little pet bird (named Chainsaw btw), and grapples with being religious (catholic) vs being gay. Noah is quiet and "smudgy" and doesn't eat enough (because he doesnt. actually. have a stomach or like an actual brain really thats another thing tho). Gansey loves his journal and is terrified of wasps and eats avacado on his pizza and is really good at finding things. Adam wears a coca-cola shirt and is super focused around money (bc he Has None) and lives above a church and helps ronan do stupid shit. like, this is the stuff i thought of within 30 seconds for each character, and most of that alone is in the 1st book. like, it gets even more thorough as it goes on.

and the WRITING. i know exactly what the inside of gansey's car looks like and it wasnt boring to learn that. like, i still remember that stiefvater described that there's CDs in the backseat and beef jerky thats long expired and too many receipts. I remember 300 fox way (blue's house) doesnt have a single man living there and that there's a sewing-phone-cat room. I remember monmouth (gansey's house) was a factory but it's unknown what it produced but there's scorch marks on the walls and really high ceilings. I know blue adores the stars and trees and i know persephone (blue's mother's friend) listens to angry PHD music. Like, this was all peppered in casually but written in such a gripping way that its lodged in my brain. i was never once bored reading TRC, and ive gotten bored reading almost every other book, even the ones i love.

and the MAGIC is so cool, there's psychics and trees that speak (but only in latin!) and dragons made of fire that came out of people's heads and demon bugs and weird sticky stuff that tears apart the world. it's not all explained, and i love that, because it's explained enough that i'm satisfied but i don't somehow know more than all the characters combined.

... anyway i realize ive practically written an essay, and also i have to do my nano shit now cause theres not a ton of hours left in the day, but!!! soul is doing the smiley emote!! because raven cycle!!

anyway everyone should read it, it's very very cool

(also i will be posting my Autistic Gansey Theory at some point)

good day to all

#the raven cycle #trc #the raven cycle quartet #trc fandom #asks #special interests #i have 3 spins of rotating intensity lol #atm TRC is tied with writing as the biggest #this made my soul so happy #in which nico remembers he is a fandom blog too #books #bookblr #actuallyautistic #self dx autistic #not writblr

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omegaversebutbetter · 3 years

Text

Overwatch

Okay lets try this again

Genji: Alpha, one of the motivating forces for Hanzo to duel him and as a result from the "accident" His Ability to smell and produce sents is kinda damaged. He acted very alphaish while part of blackwatch to try and make up for it but nowardays some people dont even realise he is one since hes so chill and dosent act that way anymore.

Hanzo: Omega, got a blocker soon after presenting by order of his father and kept it even after leaving for the convinience of not having heats and because his time in the yakuza basically made him belive omegas are meek and weak and people only looked at them as objects. This causes drama later on. Hanzo is basically feral when joining the team, he holds himself confidently and as if he has poise most of the time but when people try to touch him or somethibg suppr9ses him he is very jumpy and has almost attacked multiple people as a result. This agitation and aggression is partiality made worse by the implant and wouldn't get much better until its out.

Angela: Beta. Ik people normally think she'd be Omega but fr that woman is pure balence. She does get mistaken for an omega allot tho. Her possition as a Beta really helps her tending to all patients so she has no complaints.

76: Omega, had a impact for the super soldier program but once the crisis was over he had it taken out, both to be a good role model for other omegas but also because he just wanted to for him mainly but also for his bf at the time (despite the fact that his eyes still often drifted to a certain other squad leader). Nowerdays he still dosent have one but age makes his heats less frequent and his senses and scent a little dulled.

Ana: Alpha. She is extremely chill for an Alpha but chill in the "I am confident I have complete control of this situation" kind of way, usually because she does. She is known for being calm in arguments with other alphas and often winning those arguments as a result, almost none has seen her in an alpha rage but the rumours are that someone has once and they said it was the most terrifying thing they'd ever seen. Ana has been mistaken for the leader of her packs in the past and despite the fact that she basically is co-leader of evey pack she's in she always makes sure that she's not overshadowing the leader especially when they're not Alpha.

Reinheart: I kiiiinda wanna make him an omega who has litterally no idea what OBA expectations are. He's just the jollyest, largest omega you will ever meet. He does not give a shit what people think of him to the point where he won't defend himself unless someone questions his honour. This leads to people like Ana and Morrison in the past hovering around him and fighting anyone who tried harassing him.

McCree: Alpha. Used to be a brash, cocky, and kinda mean alpha before Blackwatch got a hold of him and mellowed him out through giving him a stable pack with a leader (as opposed to deadlock where basically eveyone fought over being leader). He is the most unmistakably alpha person you will ever meet however he is also one of the softest, kindest and possibly the most adorable alphas you will ever know if you get close to him. He's embaressed every time he growls by accident nowerdays.

Lucio: honestly I can't see lucio as anything other than Beta or Omega so I think probably Beta? But I think none else knows either and if anyone asks he says he'd rather people not know because he'd prefer to be judged my charecter instead of his second sex.

Hana: hasn't presented yet, had an implant bc of the mecha program she was in and hasn't had it out. She dosent really care regardless.

Mei: omega, I dont have much else to add to this, she's small and soft and probably the most typical omega of the bunch.

Zarya: Alpha, much like but in contrast to Mei she is the most typical alpha of the bunch. She has kinda old fashioned views about Alphas and Omegas but after getting her ass handed to her by Reinheart while sparring, finding out he was omega and accidentally being rude to him as a result the others realised she had such veiws and Morrison, Ana, McCree and Mei had a little sit down talk with her. She quickly learnt and when Satya joined later and was rude to an omega member of the pack she was the first to jump up and defend them

Satya: unknown, she has an inplant that has prevented her from presenting since she was a child and still has it. She carries herself like an alpha and looks down on Omegas however she looks down on eveyone so her veiw is often overlooked.

Reyes: Alpha. Pack leader, protective and angy. Nuff said.

Sombra: Beta with blockers that stop her from producing any scent for stealth. She has been a solo act for most her life and Talon with Reyes is her first ever pack so she takes time to adapt but once she does it suits her surprisingly well.

Widow: Amile was Omega. Widowmaker has no heats or scent.

Baptitse: deadass I'm not sure. Could litterally be any. Big soft alpha? Big kind omega? Lovely helpful Beta? I really don't know. I feel like I can't make all medical staff Betas tho...so...omega. He had a blocker put in when he joined Talon and those lot assumed he was Beta or Alpha since he never knew. But once he leaves and gets freedom of a sort he chooses to have it removed. He suffers a little for it but he's generally positive and not insecure about it. He dosent like to share heats with anyone tho, it's the one time he shuts himself off from everyone.

Moira: Alpha. Toxic.

Brigette: Alpha, presented a few years ago. She's like a golden retriever but smarter, if you're her friend she will do anything you ask, gets you random gifts and upgrades, carries anything for her friends no matter how heavy, but if you try to abuse her kindness you'll find she sint stupid and it takes one glare for someone to know you don't fuck with this Alpha. She may be a healer but she could absolutely destroy you if you try to fuck her or her friends over.

Torb: Alpha. Can go into a pure rage in a moment but will never use an alpha voice. He's just a cranky old man who seems to have practically forgotten he's an alpha. Was very proud of Brigette's presenting but gave her a few lectures and lessons to make sure it never went to her head.

Sigma: I barely know this cherecter, can no say

Doomfist: Alpha. Asshole. Talons top dogs and heavy hitters are mostly alphas. It's like...toxic alphaism at its finest. Doom is smart and cunning and wants to complete dominate situations he's in. He's an alpha.

Tracer: can't belive I forgot tracer until now, Omega. She was often underestimated for being a little omega in the past but this spitfire powered through everything in life with positivity and self love and she embraces evey part of herself. She sometimes flies home for heats when they're not too busy and are well staffed so she can spend time with her girlfriend.

Roadhog and Junkrat: Alpha and Omega. They're a couple. No I will not take criticism. These two are mates and do litterally whatever they want as long as they're together. In the wasteland there are no gender expectations, only explosives, violence and love.

Ashe: don't know much about her either but I wanna say omega with major alpha vibes. She is the embodiment of the phrase "power bottom" in every sence

Pharah: mmmmm Alpha. She's stubborn and strong, a real soldier, but if you compliment her muscles or challenger her she will show off.

And I think that's it! Any other ideas? Leave them in the comments!

#omegaverse #overwatch omegaverse #ow omegaverse #overwatch #soldier 76 #mccree ow #ow hanzo #genji #sombra #tracer #reaper #im not putting all their names fuck this

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saintsofvoid · 3 years

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Not saying you have no reason to feel "bleh", sometimes the brain just insists, but there is so much character in the little snippets and commentary and photos you do. Even if they are similar to other people's (which is really hard not to do), they are so unique to themselves it's absolutely worth it.

Hopefully you're feeling better soon, and can find joy in creating and talking about your boys again ❤

Its late so I'm gonna kinda reply to this with what has been going on on my end and where this funk is coming from. Putting it under a read more to spare everyone, but first and foremost I do appreciate all of you beyond belief for reaching out and having such kind words to say. I know its just a me thing but sometimes it all does just get to me. With that being said, feel free to ignore the whole next bit.

I 100% understand and accept its never going to be completely possible to make completely original characters, especially given the restricted format we have for CP2077. I wish we had more power to craft our characters, more like Fallout 4's character creator (which despite the game's flaws I still go back to just to make characters lol). The problem is I see Valor in game and these screenshots of him and while I do like how he looks... its not him. Not completely. His scars are wrong, he doesn't have his tattoos, hair isn't right, he's missing the ports on his body, and overall things just aren't 100% with him. But despite all that, 3rd time around I think he looks pretty good. Again though am limited to what the game allows so a part of me does get a bit offed when I see other ppls Vs that look a bit too similar. I know its just me, I don't take it to heart, its just upsetting reminder I can't make him look how he's supposed to. Same with Umbra, he looks nothing like how he looks in our TTRPG and it really hurts because I spent a long time making him with our GM and I can't show that. Its not possible in game and my art doesn't do him any justice. So it gets frustrating because I look at some of these guys and they're not my characters, just similar figures to them, but not them.

Which is really hard especially when it comes to Val because long ago he was a self insert that I used to project how I wanted to look. I Have never done well with identifying as trans, I don't like to glamorize it or be recognized for it. I'm saving up for chest surgery but I'm fucking terrified of having the scars. I just don't want to be associated and recognized with it after my transition just because it's been really rough to go through in general. I haven't enjoyed this journey at all really, and really wish I didn't have to go through it. Valor in the RPG was my way of coping and going through stuff. Instead of gender though it was his association with cyberware and having parts of his body and "humanity" removed, replaced with machine and wires. I don't project onto him as much as I once did but he still will and forever hold pieces of that history because that's how I made him.

With all that, all I really do have is my words. Part of the problem with that is there's literally years worth of lore. I've been playing the same campaign with the same group of friends since my freshman year of college. So like 6/7 years now? There's a lot. The issue is these are people I'm really good friends with. This game has become a kind of safe zone for us. We're all a bunch of artist that mainly specialized in horror content. We were part of a movie club that mainly watched horror movies. We're the bitches that watched the Saw series during our free hour in the school library, like we are chill. That also just kinda means there's a lot of dark and twisted subject matter that ends up in our games. Characters having experienced some fucked up shit, witnessed some fucked up shit, and have done some fucked up shit. Feel kinda weird posting or sharing some of the more dark things in detail. So end up watering them down and they don't always feel right.

Top of all that, I just don't have the time to do things I wanna do. I feel so goddamn pressured at home and like I should be doing more. I honestly don't know how half these people have the time to learn and do the amount of mods and edits they do. I'm not gonna lie, I'm envious of it. I get 8-10 hours of being yelled at by customers, and then I may or may not have an hour long drive to take my brother to work or pick him up some days, and then whatever my parents have going on. I want to get back into art, I want to learn 3D modeling, I want to learn how to properly mod but I'm usually so stressed out or just exhausted nothing sticks so I don't even bother really. It sucks, because I want to learn, I want to do things, but I can't. I feel like because I have so little private and personal time now if I can't get things quick enough its not worth the effort. Its frustrating but again that's all on me.

And in other news, lotta people around me are dying or have had family die do to COVID and other things. Earlier this year a close friend of mine lost her dad to COVID and she's still struggling with that. A family friend of ours died earlier this week at the age of 35 from unknown causes. I have another friend who is in the psych ward because he is once again dealing with mental stuff and wellness check did not turn up well. Round it all off, my grandpa has basically given up on his life as well, flat out saying there's nothing worth living for anymore. Given his health issues I know its only a matter of time until I'm saying my final goodbye to him as well. So its rough, and fucking sucks. Not much I can do about it, but it makes me feel fucking worse with my own depression and suicidal thoughts. I know I'd never act on the thoughts, but seeing how death effects those around me makes me feel fucking worse for even thinking about it.

The part that sucks the most about it all, and even something I've expressed to my therapist is I'm completely self aware that its all in my head. I know I can't control these situations, and that skills take time to be acquired and grow. I am so grateful for all friends and support I do have, here, on disco, irl, I see the kind words and love and it really means a lot. I feel like a horrible friend because I don't know what to do really. I know its in my head, and I know what I can and can't control. I know what I need to do, yet I don't feel any better. I feel worse, I feel like I'm distant, and dismissive. I feel like what content I am putting out is stale and boring. I just feel lost and I'm not sure what piece I'm missing to really get things going again. I love my characters, I love making stuff with them. I love the story arch I have for Val and Ker and I want to share all of that with you all. I just feel really weird.

#asks #really do feel free to ignore #i'm sorry this is going to you rindemption #your ask is just the only thing I had #i do appreciate you though #thank you for the kindness

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thr-333 · 3 years

Note

Could you possibly do one where Mari/Mari and marine is/are the daughter/son of the joker?

I actually planned quite a lot for this after you asked but could never get my thoughts to make something comprehensive so I give up here's what I got!:

-Twins are Joker and Harleys kids born before the two split up(and so help me they will split up this story needs gay aunt Ivy)

-As you might know, these two clowns have another kid; Lucy. Harley left Lucy with her sister when she was born. In canon, she thinks Harley is her aunt but I would say in this fic she learned the truth when the twins were also dropped off.

-So the twins grew up in Gotham with their aunt and big sister knowing full well who their parents are; as such they make the responsible choice to suppress every part of themselves that resembles them and constantly dye their hair in an effort to avoid looking like them. You know healthy coping mechanisms. -

-Naturally, Marinette has brown hair with blue eyes and Marion blonde with brown eyes.

-Their personalities are a bit different from Mismatch.

-Marion is still a trickster and a trouble maker but this time around has Marinette fully involved and responsible for his shenanigans. He has a bit of a habit of talking to himself(or singing random phrases), sometimes in the third person; he hates when he does, so Marinette always tells him off. He’s always gets the impulse of dying his hair outlandish colors and will vehemently deny his favorite color is green.

- Marinette is crafty, both figuratively and literally. She’s smart, her mother is a doctor after all she can be manipulative to people that arent her(close) family to protect the ones she cares about. She has a deep-seated fear of becoming a trophy, an object to be put on display like her mother and so dresses the opposite and pushes away her love for fashion.

-They will always call each other Mari but if someone else tries they both answer its a nickname they strictly use for each other.

-In a world where Gotham exists it makes absolutely no sense that Gabriel wouldn't start his reign as Hawkmoth in Gotham(the place with the most negative emotions like geez) so that works out perfectly for the twins becoming heroes(Adrien can move to Gotham or be left in Paris to be kept safe your choice)

-Instead of the twins proving themselves by helping an old man up off the street they go a step further is beating up the thugs that try to rob him(all Fu’s set up of course). When they come home to find two mysterious boxes on their beds they make the only rational conclusion children of the joker would; it’s a bomb!

-Not wanting to get the police involved for obvious reasons they find the security footage(which gets the police involved in a different way) and start tracking down fu to see why he’s trying to kill him.

-And as you may recall at this point in canon Ladybug and Chat Noir are defeating an Akuma, well they're not here they’re off to beat up an old man so thats Batman’s job for the time being.

-The twins get caught up in the fight as civilians and are saved by Batman who immediately recognizes them(you don't think Batman has case files on all of Jokers hellspawn?) so that’s gonna be a problem later but never mind that for now~

-The twins track down Fu, who is wondering why they aren’t out fighting the Akuma. Long story short Fu comes back to the house with them and proves they aren't bombs giving them the miraculous.

-I’m a bit indecisive on the names. I thought Marinette would be Red Bug and Marion Black Cat(yes I know that names already taken I don’t care). But I thought Crimson Bug would work better because then their names would start with the same letters. Then I wanted alliteration like Black Bug and Crimson Cat but that obviously doesn't make any sense since Chats color is green not red-- then I realized it would be completely in character for them to call themselves that confusing everyone in the process so no one quite sure whos name is who(if you wanna write it go with whatever I just thought it could be funny)

-As for costumes Marinette's probably wouldn't be skin tight because deep down she really doesn't want to look like that but more practical armor or less form-fitting at least. Marion's hair turns green when he transforms something he freaks out about and Marinette's turns red(glowing or not either would look cool)

-So anyway they go off to defeat the akuma blah blah blah Batman seeing these two young untrained superheroes can only think of one thing: I have to adopt them. So that’s gonna be fun!

-Anyway they go back home trying to be sneaky and immediately get caught by Lucy: ”Don’t tell Aunty!”-- ”Oh I already know” (her names Delia by the way)

- So now the twins get a support system and a family that will look out for them unbelievable right? This support system immediately threatens Fu making sure he actually trains them and doesn't just set them loose on Gotham.

Anyway that's the end of my semi-cohesive plan and here's a vague outline for the fic:

1. Becoming ladybug and chat noir setting up adoption, and school(Bruce invites them to Gotham academy to keep an eye on the jokers children)

2. First day at school setting up Artemis(and by extension young justice), and own passions, Adrien is also at this school now so Marinette falls, Jason finds out falling in love with Marion

3. Becoming friends with Artemis, convinces them to give their passions a try, Marion runs from hood, some let me adopt you stuff also Jason's spite for Cat Noir

4. Skip a bit of time a few months or so, young justice need help Artemis suggest mari and mari, Marinette has a smackdown with batman about their heritage, at odds with young justice Artemis comes to their defense. Young Justice have an ‘oh’ realization on the job when Marion sings a lullaby to a scared child, now the young justice form the mari and mari protection squad

5. Doing ladybug and cat stuff batman approaches them again this time luring them into adoption with a partnership on finding hawkmoth, Red Hood and cat fight. Marion comes back all huffy and there's a scene with Lucy this time comforting them, Marion goes out to get air runs into hood marion bristles stirring Jason to meet him as a civilian, class come to visit, at odds with lila

6. Doing well at school even made a few friends when the Paris class come to visit completely under lila’s control, lila tries to slander the twins for not worshiping her only to out herself when she tells everyone they laughed at her(the twins never laugh), Jason also drops by further discrediting her, lila tries to throw their heritage in their face but they get support openly working with heroes as civilians, this little section ends quite happily with them being sort of accepted at school and batman tolerating their existence for not attacking the person who tried to make their life miserable

7. Time skip few years out of high school now, ladybug and cat are working well with gothams vigilantes widely considered part of the batfam even if no one knows each other's identities. As mari and mari they are doing good work mainly outside of gotham. Marinette is starting a fashion boutique with a little financial help from Wayne enterprises she also does costume design for heroes and villains, villains mainly because she can't stand their current outfits. Marion quite likes his music but isn't sure how he will feel in the public eye is great friends with Jason and the skip picks up with them officially starting to go out identities unknown. They are still hesitant about their identities in civilian life Marinette starting her business under a false name and Marion cant start his because of his heritage. Jason officially has to admit they are going out to the family is met with grilling by aunt and sister, joy by harley once she tries giving them sex advice they leave, his brothers tease and both are tense about Bruces reaction but he begrudgingly accepts. Are out as ladybug and Cat still snippy with hood but it’s not as bad they are closing in on hawkmoth. Go to hang out with young justice as well they aren't well-liked in Gotham but they’re fine with that(not really)

8. NOW things can go to shit joker finally has enough of them deciding to get a hold of them but I think it should be as ladybug and chat revealing their identities to the world. The twins are terrified rightfully so. Get saved now it’s weird between hood and marion, marion feeling betrayed Jason knew who he was and knew who his father was but still decided to date him and he just can't understand why. Adrien was so scared for Marinette and now they both have to work out why. Gotham is at odds the heroes they admire are born from a villain they fear. Bats are a bit weird feeling like they were tricked while also kind of acknowledging the twins are good people

9. Harassed in their everyday life now the twins go to young justice where they get met with awe for being established independent heros, bats there are acting weird but the twins say something to shift perspective leaving to let them mull on it. Jason tries to apologise saying he doesn't see Marion like that blah blah Marion has a breakdown asking how he can be anything but a villain. Marinette's having whiplash going from loved to hated and still dealing with the trauma of seeing her father. They snap. In public a big ol scene and they get akumatised everyone sees it, it’s on tv. Hawkmoth comes out to get their miraculous the batfam can’t beat him. He’s monolouging probing at their deepest fears when they snap back to reality realizing none of it’s true every part of them has worked to be good people and they are they don't hand over their miraculous beating the akumatizaton and beating hawkmoth while akumatised.

10. They are released from the hospital a few days later, getting hesitant recognition on the streets. It's not thunderous applause but it is something. Their family comes to pick them up, Adrien is crying to Marinette about not scaring him like that(her family took him in when Gabriel was revealed). Marion gets picked up by Jason they patch things over. They get accepted into the batfam and work as ladybug and cat for everything. Marion decides to start playing music and Marinette reveals her face to her fashion brand.

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fangirlyah · 4 years

Text

✦ just an arrangement - Draco Malfoy x Reader (part 1)

summary: the return to the school year with the dark mark is hard enough, but now they must fulfill a more intimate request or they expect a happily ever after with an old death eater.

warnings: none

word count: 1,950

a/n: i’m pretty excited about this so i hope u like it. if u wanna be part of my (still non-existent) tag list for this fic, just tell me :)

a starry night full of light illuminated the sky. very different from the humor y/n was holding.

she saw herself in the mirror, immersed in constant pain, both physical and emotional. her arm, freshly marked by the dark lord, felt almost on fire, stitches and burns that were almost impossible to hold. thanks to her childhood surrounded by darkness due to the alliances of her families, she herself already knew how to create her own healing potions that sootheed her wounds for at least a while.

she was only sixteen, but had a higher weight on her back than any teenager. she was not the only one, her classmate, draco malfoy, had and was suffering a life very similar to hers. but he wasn't very good at hiding it, his thinner body and marked dark circles revealed his stress. but y/n was always a better actress, no one had ever seen the bruises on her arms, nor had she been seen decaying. on the contrary she was known for being one of the sweetest and most positive people with every hogwarts student. thing that put his hair on end, ‘how could she be so calm with everything that was going on?’ she knew a war was coming but he always saw her smiling sweetly at every person who crossed her path. how many times had he smiled that sixth year of hogwarts? maybe not one.

but as he noticed her big white smiles, she noticed the lack of his. she knew what he was going through, his task was very complicated and terrifying, y/n had been lucky enough to be out of the instant murder of her own headmaster, but she had to be in charge of repairing the vanishing cabinet.

they were not friends or anything close to the word, they were acquaintanced despite the number of encounters they had during the months, due to the similar connection of their parents. both only children, completely alone on their way to giving their full life to who-must-not-be-named. y/n did not want to be alone, since she was a child, she had tried to approach the blonde and become his friend, but he did not acknowledge receipt.

"hello, draco! my house elf made pumpkin pie, would you like a piece?" a small y/n took small leaps in her freshly ironed dark blue dress.

"I'd rather die than try something of yours," an eleven-year-old draco disgustingly expressed to the girl who was just looking for his sympathy.

a sympathy that, despite the passage of the years, she had never found. y/n had stopped trying, had stopped fraternizing with draco in the fourth year, when she had slightly begun to develop a crush on him. and she was, and is, smart enough to know that if her hormonal heart kept hearing his wretched words, she would have an almost irreparable broken heart. but it didn't work, because even though he ignored her, she couldn't get him out of her mind. and seeing him at least twice a month at her home, dressed in his pristine suit and his fine hair combed did not help.

"y/n since when is your roasted chicken more important than good gossip?" millicent spoke with her mouth full of crushed potatoes, spitting slightly.

"since always, millie" y/n was not at a time in her life where an adolescent gossip filled all her senses.

"you're very boring... so, it turns out ginevra weasley is in love with potter!"

"I'm not at all surprised, weirdos like weirdos" pansy parkinson, despite the years that elapsed, did not seem to forget her hatred of gryffindor and everything related to it, especially the golden trio and its own close ones.

it was a Friday night and despite the icy weather and sun falling much earlier, the great hall was full of students enjoying their dinners. at the slytherin table there were most students, but there wasn't any sign of draco malfoy... but she spoke very quickly.

"get up" a big, cold hand, adorned with silver rings and emeralds that stood out on his pale skin, grabbed y/n by the arm and pulled her with intent to lift her out of the seat.

"sorry?" she looked up to see the blonde with a serious countenance, staring at her.

"hey, we're talking you can't take her that way!" spoke one of her friends but it was too late, y/n was already standing on draco’s side, who kept holding her arm tightly.

"shut your mouth, bulstrode" and with that, draco began to walk quickly without looking back, which she thanked as he would not see her in a hurry and almost stepping on her own feet.

arriving on the seventh floor, finally, a large door suddenly appeared on a white wall, capturing the complete attention of y/n. draco did not hesitate and submerged them both inside the unknown room which turned out to be too small for its immense door.

'the room of requirement' thought y/n immediately, but why did it appear before them? she wondered.

it was the first time y/n and draco had crossed word for at least five months, since the first time they both attended a death eaters meeting as official members. she still remembers how her body trembled and as his did too, but the firm hand of lucius on his back almost held him in his place. she also recalls that their seats were facing each other, and that she saw him swallow heavily when, after the meeting, he saw the girl accidentally shed a salty tear.

"may I ask you what we are doing here?" y/n’s voice sounded shy and calm despite having draco in front of her swinging from one place to the other, regardless of the small space. he did not speak and it had been more than five minutes that they were inside the room and the idea of leaving had crossed y/n’s thoughts, but she knew what he was going through, so she decided to wait.

"you're my girlfriend now..." draco's body stood violently in front of her, leaving a reasonable distance. he didn't look her in the eye, but she knew he was serious.

"what the-... what?"

"we have to be together, the dark lord wants it so"

"since when?..." the confusion took over her body, even though her heart was screaming, 'your crush is telling you to be together, shut up and accept!' but it wasn't that simple.

"in less than six months we will both be seventeen, your parents and mine were married at that age, and they were all already death eaters..."

"it's our turn" y/n thought out loud.

"we must not marry, just... be together...as a couple or we'll be paired with other death eater who's at least fifteen years older and I think we both know that's not a reasonable choice"

"I understand..." it was something they should do sooner or later, then they could split up and submit to some other arranged marriage. but at the moment they were both the best choice of the other. "let's do it"

------------

the idea of pretending to be a couple began to really settle in y/n’s head a week of the event, when draco rested his hands on her shoulders unexpectedly on a sunday for breakfast time. she wanted to bewitch herself when she felt the butterflies she hated so much flowering. those butterflies provoked by him, which she had sworn to bury years ago and which she had clearly failed to achieve.

her friends’ faces were transformed to the sudden change in the attitude of the prince of slytherin. they all noticed that they both slipped away from classes and most social situations over the weeks. but, they would never have assumed they were going away to be together, they were right. they used to escape because of the tasks indicated by who-must-not-be-named or because the terror and darkness had suddenly consumed them.

then the weeks passed and their interactions increased, because they had to increase if they wanted to make it believable.

the arrangement had begun in august and by that month, their only contact was some rubbing of hands in potions or small glances in the great hall, which however minuscule they were, they both knew that they should be noticed.

"you're doing it wrong!-emm...I think you're putting more ingredients than the necessary, y/n" sometimes she wanted her fake boyfriend to be a better actor, his voice changes were notorious, but at least that day they were lucky to be sitting with crabbe and goyle so none of them noticed his weird voice changes, and if they did, they wouldn't have the braveness to ask.

"I've made this potion multiple times, draco. to make it perfect a few drops of agrippa are never too much" the blonde’s ears were still surprised to hear his name, his actual name and not malfoy, come out of y/n’s mouth. despite his attitude towards her, which had not changed since the age of eleven, she continued to treat him delicately.

"you've done this multiple times? this is the first time we are learning potions to close wounds" the last thing he wanted was to make the cute girl uncomfortable, it wouldn't show a good image for their relationship.

"I'm only curious when it comes to potions" but y/n answered with immediate discomfort, much to the chagrin of draco.

by september, their hands were already united from class to class and their bodies were sitting together in the great hall for almost every meal, all of this causing a lot of whispers.

"your hand is sweaty" whispered draco in his ear, as they traversed long meadows to hagrid’s hut.

"sorry... is that everyone is looking at us and it's making me nervous" she wasn't used to being the center of attention, unlike him.

"just... focus on me" draco gave a squeeze to her hand, making y/n think that, finally, the boy had given in to acting cordial in their false relationship. but his phrase wasn't over, "you must do well, I won't let you ruin this."

with that said, y/n focused her thoughts on draco. how he was holding her hand, how she had imagined this so many times and how he seemed unbothered by it. but he wasn't feeling like that.

it was only in october that they first had a meeting alone, only the two of them, with no audience present.

y/n was on a sofa, very close to a large window pointing to the big forests surrounding hogwarts, in the common room. it was the early hours of the morning so the sun was orange painting the sky as if it were its own canvas, lighting everything around it, including y/n. her hard-covered book was on her lap and she moved it so gently that it seemed that her fingers floated. for draco's eyes it was something new. with semi-swollen eyes, a morning voice but perfectly clothed, he watched her from the other side of the place. he didn't think she was a morning person, so when he received the letter and decided to be the first to come down for breakfast as he couldn't fall asleep again, the last thing he thought was he was going to find her there. with her legs contracted towards her and her bright hair braided in a shedding way, was the first thing draco saw that morning. and for a moment, he thanked merlin for waking up so early.

"it's time to go" was the only thing the blonde seemed to say, when he approached the couch where she was. y/n just turned around to see him. she knew exactly what he meant.

#tom felton #harry potter #fanfic #fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco x y/n #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy fanfiction #imagine #one shots #hogwarts

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etlunainmorte · 4 years

Text

DMC WEEK DAY 2: Monster | Cryptid | Demon ( Dante )

~ My next entry for the DMC WEEK, which is monster, cryptid, and Demon, featuring Dante!

~ Light warnings compared to DMC WEEK DAY 1. However, if you easily get disturbed or squeamish at the mention of blood, or nasty crawlies, then this fic is not for you. Please, proceed with caution. The "explicit language" warning is up but, other than that, this entry is made to be corny and a bit cheesy. Enjoy!

***

"Ten years, Dante! Ten years! And you still suck at Poker?!"

Dante winced and waved his opponent off, unable to withstand Patty's presence in his office.

Yes, the girl has just turned eighteen. Despite that, it didn't stop her from going back to Devil May Cry from time to time to annoy Dante. Well, mostly she would just watch her favorite shows on his little television. Sometimes, she would offer to clean his office for a price like how she used to. However, on rather special occasions where the teenager finds out about Dante's gigs, she would rile him up to no end to make him play Poker with her. And, by Jove, she always wins the game.

The girl was definitely right. Ten years of their unusual friendly relationship and Dante has yet to beat her in that card game. It might be because the girl has become even smarter than ever before due to Lady and Trish's influence, or Dante has just lost his fire with games such as this.

"Now, you owe me - "

"Whatever! Ugh,... " Dante went to his chair and collapsed on it, putting his feet up on the table and snatching the magazine before him.

"You sound like a sore loser." Patty answered as she went towards the little television and turned it to her favorite channel.

"Why don't you just go out with your buddies or boyfriend, huh?" Dante added as he grumpily turned another page of his magazine.

"Oh, jeez, Dante! Who are you? My dad?" Patty laughed as she comfortably settled on the floor. "For your information, I don't have a boyfriend. Don't need one because I can perfectly protect myself!"

"Sure."

"Oh, and now you have to take me out shopping! That's your punishment for losing, Dante."

The man brought his magazine down and threw deadly stares at the teenager who was always invading his personal space. "Is this your revenge for ditching you on that birthday party of yours?"

"Whoa, you can't be serious!" Patty turned away from the screen to raise an eyebrow at the Devil Hunter. "For that one, you'll have to give me a year's worth of your strawberry sundae!"

"I shouldn't have asked." Dante said and clicked his tongue, picking up his magazine once more and putting his focus back to it.

Patty snickered. She just enjoyed annoying Dante like that. The man was never really angry with her, and she honestly thought that he was the better company compared to most people her age, who knew nothing else other than sex and partying. She enjoyed hanging out with the Devil Hunter, and she couldn't imagine her life without her old friend, who always made her smile and laugh.

"Wow. Look at Ripley,... " Patty whispered in awe, her eyes entranced at the horror film being shown on the silver screen. "She's so badass, I wish I could be like her someday." She peeled her eyes off of Ripley and looked at her companion once more. "Hey, Dante!"

"What now?!"

"Take me on a mission some time."

Dante raised an eyebrow at her. "Absolutely not!"

"Aww, come on! I wanna see you become like Ripley!"

"Ripley?"

"Yeah! Wouldn't it be cool if you could say her most popular line from Alien?"

"And what is that line?"

"Get away from her, you bitch!" Patty recited the popular line with the most rugged tone of voice she could muster.

"Haha!" Dante laughed and brought his old magazine down, taking one slice of pizza from the box on his table and gobbling on it. "I have better lines than that!"

With furrowed eyebrows, Patty stood up, went towards Dante and took a slice of pepperoni special for herself. Taking a bite, she asked, "Like what?"

Dante chuckled and answered, "Jackpot!"

"That line again?!"

"That is loads better than Ripley's line! And I bet other cheap rip offs of Alien already had that line, it's gotten too old."

"Really?" Patty answered with much sarcasm.

Before Dante could even answer, the door violently opened, and a few moments later, a very sweaty and nervous - looking Morrison entered the shop.

"You could've at least knocked, Morrison!"

"Hey, what's wrong with Mr. Morrison?" Patty mused as she finished her pizza and went towards the man.

However, before Patty could even come close, Morrison stopped her in her tracks, holding up a trembling arm with his palm up.

"Don't - !" Morrison wheezed, clearly struggling with something. "Go near - !"

"You okay there, Morrison?" Dante, who just got off his chair, asked a moment later. And as a tasteless joke, he added, "Did an alien enter your body, or something - ?”

"It's,... CRAWLING!" All of a sudden, the poor broker yelled in agony as he collapsed on the floor, his hands taking hold of his left leg as if he was in deep, excruciating pain.

"Oh, my God!" Patty mumbled and was about to help the man when Dante stopped her from going closer to Morrison.

"Let me handle this." Dante said, kneeling next to Morrison. "Let me take a look at that, Morrison."

"It's,... CRAWLING! IT'S CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN! I CAN FEEL IT!" Morrison howled, his sweat almost flooding his face.

"Shh! Shh! Relax,... " The Devil Hunter uttered the little words of encouragement that served as Morrison's only warning before his left pant was completely torn off from him, revealing a golf - ball sized thing underneath the part of the broker's skin where his pulsating purple veins became blaringly visible.

And he was right. The thing really was crawling.

And it was creeping up towards Morrison's upper thigh!

"It's like from Alien!" Patty shrieked in shock, stepping further away from the broker in fear of contact with whatever's inside Morrison.

"Patty, I need a string! Anything to tie Morrison's leg and stop this thing from moving!" Dante commanded like a general barking orders to a private officer.

"You mean a tourniquet?"

"Whatever! JUST MAKE IT QUICK!"

“Right!” Patty obliged as she ran to look for the thing.

"Okay, Morrison, I want you to relax. Breathe,... " Dante spoke as he took hold of the broker's leg, his left hand on his upper thigh, and his right hand near the ugly moving bulge. And he could definitely feel the thing struggling to get to the poor man's upper body. It's rather strong.

"HOW COULD I FUCKING RELAX?! THERE'S A THING IN MY BODY! I COULD FEEL IT CRAWLING - !"

"I know, I know. PATTY!"

"Here!" Patty handed Dante what looked like his telephone cord and he received this without any complain or hesitation, seeing the poor broker twitch and tremble with pain and fear. And with the cord, he proceeded to tie Morrison's upper thigh as tightly as he could, earning him a wide - eyed and terrified look from the broker.

"What are you doing?" Morrison nervously asked as he watched Dante secure the cord tied around his thigh. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"I'm trying to help you!" Dante howled in answer, trying his best to not get annoyed with Morrison. "Patty, get my knife on my drawer. And my whiskey bottle. Quick!"

The moment Morrison heard the words knife and whiskey, he felt a heavy weight on his chest. He lost his consciousness. However, despite that, the thing still tried to get past the cord tied by Dante.

"Here." Patty handed the knife and Dante wasted no time in pointing the blade at the thing. And the moment it felt the blade on the broker's skin, its movements became much more erratic, as if it knew that it's going to die. And as soon as the blade started cutting through the poor broker's flesh, the man's eyes snapped open and he let out an agonizing scream of pain that pierced through Dante and Patty's eardrums.

"Patty, give him the whiskey!"

"R - right!" The girl nervously answered as she opened the bottle with trembling hands and proceeded to make Morrison drink its contents. The liquor burned a path down his throat, making him a little numb. And yet he still felt it when Dante went on cutting his flesh.

"Morrison, you have to help us here!" Dante howled as his eardrums were, once again, assaulted by the broker's screams and curses of pain. "Do you want this thing out or NOT?!"

The man winced, almost crying in pain. "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!" He, then, snatched the bottle of whiskey from Patty's hands and downed all of its contents in one gulp. Throwing the bottle away, he screamed, "DO IT!"

"Don't cry now, Morrison!" Dante answered with a grin, and with one swift movement, he was able to make a clean and straight cut of his flesh. One painful stab with the blade mere seconds later and the thing was finally out. It landed on the carpet next to Dante's television just in time when the baby alien burst out from one of the characters’ chest.

Its bloody body pink, fleshy, and pulsing, with little hairs protruding from it, and its numerous little arachnid - like feet still moving and twitching, it almost looked like a Nidhogg, but much longer.

And even more disgusting.

And the moment the little alien howled from the man's chest in the screen, the unknown creature stood up, raising its nasty looking little mandibles in the air, and screeched with such unearthly sound, its yellow saliva coming out of its mouth.

"OH, GOD!" Patty let out in disgust at the creature that came out from Morrison's leg, making the broker faint.

"You're not welcome here, little fella!" Dante taunted as he took out his Ebony and Ivory, pointing them at the creature. "I'm afraid to say it's adios!"

Everything happened so fast. The creature launched itself in midair towards Dante, its mouth slicing and opening up the size of an unfurled umbrella, its pair of mandibles growing a few inches, ready to devour the Devil Hunter's head.

But, the man in red was much faster, and much more agile. With a few Ebony and Ivory rounds shot at the creature's mouth, the thing went down, dead and still somehow twitching like a swatted insect.

And the moment the creature stopped twitching, Patty and Dante heard a louder screech coming outside the building. The unknown noise went on for almost a minute, and when it finally stopped, they felt tremors on the ground as if something huge just moved and ran away.

"It's the Alien Queen!" Patty announced, amazed and frightened at the same time.

Dante hid the pair of guns and took out his most powerful weapon, the Rebellion. "Alright, kid, stay here and don't leave Morrison behind!"

"I told you! I'm no longer a kid!" The teen retorted behind Dante's back as the man went out to hunt the Alien Queen.

And, sure enough, the Devil Hunter found the much larger creature outside, towering like an Empusa Queen, looking twice as ugly as her,...

... and looking just as pissed as the Xenomorph alien Ripley has to defeat.

"You, uhh, got a thing for the broker or something?" Dante quipped with a smile, the thrill of a good fight starting to excite every fiber of his being. And with a swish and flair of the Rebellion, he beckoned the monster towards him with his finger. "Hate to say this but,...

... get away from Morrison, you bitch!"

***

The news about Morrison's near death experience at the hands of a new class of Demon they now call, "Xenomorph" ( named after the alien in the movie ), reached the others as soon as daybreak hit. With investigations conducted by Trish, Lady, Nero, V, and Vergil, they found out that the Xenomorph stalks its prey, and using its minions, the smaller versions of itself in the form and size of a small spider, it enters the prey by penetrating the skin, mostly from the lower torso, and staying there for at least a few more hours until the creature inside grows enough for it to be able to travel to the victim's brain. Further investigations also revealed that when the creature takes over the victim's brain, it would be able to control the person, bringing the unfortunate prey towards the Xenomorph's nest against their own free will, ready to be devoured by the Demon Queen, herself. More studies showed that the Xenomorph had other uses for the prey's body aside from her nourishment. It was said that she would also use the body as a "breeding ground", laying her eggs there and waiting for them to hatch. Then, these little Xenomorphs would consume the body from the inside, organs, fluid, and all, little by little, until such time when they are big enough and ready to come out.

But, of course, Dante and the rest prevented Morrison from knowing all this until he was well enough to handle any information of the thing that entered his body and almost killed him that one night.

And Patty? Let's just say she stopped watching sci - fi movies with aliens in it and went back to her old favorites, which were romcoms that Dante found utterly cheesy and corny.

***

@dmcweek

***

#dmcweek #dmcweek2020 #day 2 #monster #cryptid #demon #dante

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zlatadelion · 3 years

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Winx Club Witch OC - Adrienne Fogos 🌈💗

Name: Adrienne Fogos.

Nicknames/alias: Addie, Adri, Ren, Adriana, Rainbow.

Age: 16.

Birthday: March 17th.

Affiliation: Cloud Tower.

Origin: Domino.

Astrological Sign: Phoenix | Pisces.

Species: Witch.

Powers: Fireworks 🎇🎆

Likes: Fireworks. Her friends. Reading books of spells, learning the planets and histories of Magix. Feeling quiet and calm. The sense of achievement that hard work gives her, she isn't afraid of manual labour.

Dislikes: Aggression, fights, or having to fight. Being scared of something (which she is 85% the time). Girls who are horrible to other girls for no reason. Boys who tease. Losing the book she was reading. Worst for her is feeling alone and helpless.

Dream: Read all books in the Magic Universe.

Appearance: Light skin tone, tall and slender frame, long and straight brown hair with blond streaks, blue eyes. Adrienne often clips her front hair streaks on the back of her head, so they won’t be disturbing her. She also wears coral lipstick and white eyeshadow. Her attire consists of a white shirt with opened shoulders combined with raffles and colorful stripes all along it + Blue jeans with pockets. Her shoes are white sneakers on wide heels. Accessories: golden choker with pearls, large white sleeves with golden raffles, the buffs are bound to her wrists by brown pearls, light blue belt - every accessory sparkles.

Personality: Adrienne is naturally hard-working and wishes to discover all secrets and mysteries that Cloud Tower holds. She is not super-intelligent but she is studious and loves to read anything and everything. Once she understands something she doesn't forget easily. She is questioning and curious about all sorts of things, which can get her in trouble. She tries to be tactful and honest at all times as she doesn't like to get in trouble. When it comes to other people Adrienne can be different, depending on how she's feeling, although she is still at heart that timid girl and always strives to be polite. Back at home she felt intimidated by everything and stayed away from people. Once she gets to Cloud Tower, she chooses to make a change and tries her hardest to make friends. So far she has been delighted to find the girls there, that are so friendly and kind. She forms a strong, loyal attachment to her closest friends after not having any for so long. She is afraid of a lot of things but has learnt to hide her fear, mostly. If someone does wrong by her, she won't forget it for a long time, but she has a tendency to get sad instead of angry over things. She's not a total doormat and does have a stubborn streak somewhere, but when someone starts pushing her around, Adrienne is the type of girl to quietly disappear rather than begin pushing back.

History: Adrienne was always a very timid, needy child and all she wanted was her mother to love her. Unfortunately her mother had never been able to respond to other people's emotions and the reason is unknown to her, yet she still seeks to discover. Adrienne somehow got the idea that the problem must be her and that her mother was cold to her because she hated her for her failings. Always alone and with no close friends to balance her, her focus on it became too strong and she became terrified of her fierce, cold mother; but still the only thing she wanted was her love. Not being able to please her began to turn into an actual fear of her as Adrienne started interpreting her mother’s every indifferent move as displaying disgust at her failings. Her life boiled down to this vicious circle, nothing else mattered to her. This constant sense of fear never left her alone. Her witch powers came to her out of nowhere while she was setting a petard on fire by protecting herself from the dangerous flames. Her first reaction was that these powers must not be hers, but they didn't go away. This happened almost in the midnight time, her mother was celebrating New Year with her friends, while Adrienne wanted to impress her mother, she discovered something more interesting by creating a magical shield that got her protected. The shield was bright and its small particles were exploding and crumbling into shiny ash. Since then she started to be interested in her magic and everything that connected to it. This encouraged her to go to Cloud Tower - the best school for witches in all of the Magic Dimension, without her mother knowing. The place, where she can discover everything and recieve answers on all of her questions. Despite her bright appearance, she doesn’t care about anything what other students may say about it. She loves her look, that’s what matters. For now, she feels safe, but her fear never let her go.

Love Interest: Doesn’t have one yet.

Family: Mother.

Best friend(s): Katie, Tiffany - her roommates (witches), Imani - her best friend (fairy).

Favourite Song: Hot Wings - I Wanna Party.

Favourite Meal: Lamingtons.

Favourite Colour: White, Gold, Blue, Magenta, Orange.

Favourite Hobby: Reading about spells and the planets of Magix, spending time with her new friends. She also enjoys dancing and singing, it is one of the few things she's confident in doing.

Pet: Ferret.

Favourite Movies: She finds documentaries very useful, but usually enjoys Sci-Fi movies.

Favourite Subject: Every one of them fascinates her.

P.S.: Yes, Adrienne is my second Winx Club OC, but that time she’s a witch! 🔮 I hope you like her as much as I do 💗

#Winx #WinxClub #WinxOC #WinxArt #Witch #WinxWitch #Art #Girl

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withteeths · 3 years

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Maybe Steamrolling Games is Bad Actually

Videogames are unique in that they are inextricably tied to corporatism and have been since birth (this is an oversimplification but roll with it). This means that to an extent most companies even since the ’80s have never really cared about proper preservation or easy access to their titles. Nintendo carts were originally manufactured to have their battery die in 3 years so you would have to buy a new one (this failed, but it’s why you still see a lot of dead carts floating around). I think there's a nostalgia issue within the gaming fandom regarding "oh x was great back then" but a lot of the time, games manufacturers have been historically shitty and anti-consumer and it’s just that they now have the tools to execute it much more effectively. Regarding obtrusive DRM, that’s an issue PC games have had since their zenith, where if you lost your original copy of a manual or a small plastic key you could never play a game again because the codes were individualized for each copy and support would refuse to give you a new one. Even back in the arcades, there were particularly batshit examples like the CPS board, which I shit you not was built to explode a battery pack filled with corrosive acid if it detected you were attempting to repair or modify it. There’s a lot to say about the current state of games but what I would likely illustrate is that 2/3 major consoles are racing to decide who will be obsolete first. Games consoles are reaching a point where they are trying to emulate PCs with more restrictions and DRM. We're already seeing interest in steam spike again and it’s likely that eventually, we will see almost a crash for consoles where no one can justify the price for games they can play on a PC rig. The only solution I see there would be a merger between the two consoles which feels inevitable.

That being said as interest in the PC space increases again so does attempts at entering the bubble. We have Epic, Origin, Microsoft, Indiegala, Itchio, and Steam all vying for attention, requiring accounts, and offering exclusives to justify the use of their storefront over others. Some people think this is a good thing because it's breaking up Steam's monopoly but it literally is not, if you ever really wanna hear me rant ask me about Leftist obsession with itch being some sort of ethical steam, which it is provably not. In the end, the real sort of saviour figures that work to preserve games are random ass people on the internet. I know people who automatically assume that at the end of the day, companies care about games preservation too, and they usually have a three-pronged argument that cites a) Steam’s ability to allow the redownloading of delisted games, b) retro companies periodically rereleasing titles for modern consoles in compilations, and c) companies doing limited reruns of a game that fans request. All three of these examples are basically an incredibly effective use of diversionary tactics, but most of the time when someone cites these I just assume it’s a misunderstanding and not outright malicious intent because a lot of the time companies will attempt to actively implant these ideas to build brand loyalty.

My main dissertation is usually that Steam is incredibly selective with what titles you can redownload, and most importantly, corporate benevolence is more-so a band-aid on a gaping wound! There’s no contingency for when Steam might migrate to a new service, go belly up, or become obsolete when a new OS is created. That means thousands, tens of thousands of dollars worth of games are just gone, permanently, along with fan mods, DLC, and content. It’s a terrifying thought that not many people bring up when discussing the problems with game storefronts that focus so much on providing a cloud and have DRM attached to every purchase. In a way, Steam preceded the trend of not allowing consumers to actually own the things they purchased, and they’ve avoided criticism by strategic use of silence and creating the illusion of a company being made by the consumers they’re attempting to serve. At the end of the day, Steam is a business, and if you ever lose access to your Steam account, or they decide to up and leave one day, you will not be able to play almost all of those games, even if you have them installed on a hard drive, because if you’re online, they connect with a server to ensure your steam account has the ability to play them. When it comes to other arguments like the limited rereleases or use of compilations to preserve arcade titles, I usually just beg people to look at community-driven options that have existed for years. The Scott Pilgrim game is a big source of contention, but I would point out that for years now, it was playable, for free, with all the DLC, on PCs. Preservationists didn’t wait for the gods of Universal and O’Malley to rerelease it for 30 bucks or save up to snatch the fucking ridiculous 200$ limited edition with shitty paper cut-outs, they straight up just did the work to make the game free and available. RCPS3 has (with a contemporary build) been able to run the game pretty flawlessly for years now, in fact, it was how I played through a majority of the game in high school on my shitty brick of a laptop. If you look further out than this one example then it gets even better, MAME and other emulation backends have been able to play obscure, unfinished, and homebrew titles with 100% accuracy, on almost any setup, for free, for decades! I found out about many of these options back in 2015 or so, certainly late to the curve, but I never really questioned as to why emulation, games preservation, and some key titles being available on PC remained some sort of arcane, unknown knowledge to most people interested in games. In the end, the answer was a highly effective propaganda campaign that combined with strategic use of DMCA takedowns has resulted in the concept of communal games-preservation and emulation becoming some sort of debate, where people will wholeheartedly side with corporations in some sort of quest for preserving things the “ethical and correct way,” which is code for preservation on the condition that it remains profitable for the IP owners.

I think the best way to illustrate this would be with the community built around the preservation of an infamous PS4 title, PT. The story of its inevitable delisting from the storefront and the messy breakup between Kojima and Konami is well known, so I won’t regurgitate it, look it up at your own leisure. What is significant here is corporate reactions to attempts at preserving the game, which can basically be boiled down to Konami acting with borderline rabid fervour to prevent redownload, redistribution, or recreation of a seven-year-old demo, released for free download. Mentions of solutions to redownload the game have been taken down, fan-made recreations for PC, and archival servers that store a copy of the game for future preservation or emulation. Usually when this is brought up a debate occurs citing that technically speaking, Konami has a right to do this whenever they want, for whatever piece of media they believe infringes on their copyright. On one hand, yes this argument is factually correct considering the current state of copyright and ownership of media, but on the other hand, what compels someone to step into the ring for a multi-million dollar company with the primary argument being “well actually, people SHOULDN’T be able to play this specific video game until it benefits the shareholders”? In my opinion, it’s some sort of corporatized symbiosis where players believe that, if you cull the bad actors and play by the rules of the company, you may be able to eventually play the game a couple of years down the line. Sure, this has happened in the past with a few isolated cases, but it can’t be stressed enough that this is a genuinely dangerous and reductive position for people to take regarding games preservation.

I have two colleagues, Mariken and Fotocopiadora, who released a short interactive title called Videopulp (playable here: https://fotocopiadora.itch.io/videopulp). It’s a dramatic reimagining of a real historical event, wherein a promotional event was held in 1994 at Lelystad to destroy bootleg carts by a figure in a Mario costume. This perhaps best encapsulates something I am pleading with younger generations to understand, as an archivist, art historian, and creator: corporations are not your friends, and they never will be. With the rise of online circles of leftism, this concept is starting to gain traction but is starting to be polluted with concepts of fandom and tribalism. This has lead to arguments that while *most* corporations are bad how could you say that about Nintendo? Or Valve? Mario is so innocent and characters like Wheatley are beloved by all! I feel some people don’t realize that they can enjoy a select title or character without enlisting in a corporate faction in the battle for “best company” or “best videogame”. It leads to a parasocial kinship with a nonexistent figure that was hand-crafted to ensure consumer loyalty to a certain brand. It’s depressing, terrifying, and should stand as a disquieting example of how the grip of capitalism on works of art has permanently distorted how we think and engage with media today. So, what’s the solution? As always I can never really provide something concrete that’ll act as a cure-all, only things that people in games need to work towards. Bring up conversations about games preservation, create archives for your own work, support archivists and boost their work whenever a new discovery is created, and try to promote optimism and solidarity in your hobbyist communities. I’ve noticed a lot of futility being intertwined with the future of AAA gaming, use of online storefronts, and the inability to own pieces of media anymore, and I feel this should be pushed back against, even in a minute way. Open-source programmes still exist that allow you to hold on to what you have purchased, offline and ad-free options exist for games launchers, e-readers, and media players. The future isn’t bright, but it is not a place without hope, and as long as people continue to enter communities with passion and ingenuity, I think we have a chance at stopping the events at Lelystad, 1994 from happening again.

#videogames #games preservation #scott pilgrim #rambling #post

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gayfrenchtoast · 3 years

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Despite sleep juice brain still go brr so

Harry Potter if Lily and James DIDNT DIE

A fan theory ramble

Also fuck JK Rowling

Okay so Harry Potter would be taught about the order and the dangers of the wizarding world early on due to James and Lily's positions and James probably being all hug ho about Harry not being afraid of Voldemort especially after that faithful night they almost died to him but didn't because Sirius was watching over their house that night and came to save them. They found out Wormtail was the traitor and sent him scampering and took max precautions after that.

Harry is more arrogant in this version because "my parents are great wizards and my parents and Godfather fought Voldemort and sent him packing" however big bad V did manage to land a hit on him that gave him his scar, unknown if this makes him a haucrux yet. So yeah he's arrogant and he's super confident he's gonna go to hogarth and be an awesome gryffindoor

Lily made Snape and James "make up like adults" and be civil for her and Harry's sakes. They shit talk each other behind their backs and though this in first year made Harry dislike Snape especially since James would shit talk about Snape to Harry and Harry would then overhear Snape shit talking his dad as he got older he just came to accept it and listen to it for the petty drama, ever got Snape to shit talk his dad to him and so they'd just vent at him about each other and no it isn't healthy but damn is it funny to Harry.

Harry does meet Ron and Hermione on the train for the first time, makes friends with Ron by buying some of the sweets from the trolley, with the money James slipped to him before he got on, for them to share. Kinda teases Hermione first time they meet by opening the chocolate frog to her when she asks about the toad ("are you sure it's not a frog? Cus I found THIS" he opens the box in a flash and the chocate frog makes a leap, right towards Hermione. She let's out a high help and leaps back in surprise only for Harry to catch it before it can even get that close to her. Both he and Ron laugh at her reaction as the girl flushes red with rage and embaressment, beginning to turn to presumably storm off. "Wait wait! I'm sorry, I was just joking! Here, you can have it. I only really want the card anyway." He grins as he offers the chocolate frog that was mostly reverting into mainly chocolate form. She looked hesitant but did carefully take the token of good faith, inspecting it a little just to be sure. "...fine. I accept your apology. I shall continue to look for the toad. And by the way, we'll be arriving soon. You might want to get changed into your robes." And she trots off, seemingly satisfied with whatever good job she did.)

Malfoy, who's heard about the boy who's family sent the dark Lord to the shadows, I quick to try and belittle Harry and then try and make it sound like he could "redeem his family name" by becoming friends with him. Harry basically laughs and says he knows of malphoy and his family and he's proud his family was the ones that fought Voldemort instead of the ones who bent over for him. Draco is stunned and pretty pissed.

Sorting hat Ceremony makes it real interesting. Ron gets in Gryffindoor, as expected, however Hermione is in Ravenclaw, Nevil is in Hufflepuff and Harry Potter is in Slytherin. With Draco Malfoy. Who he just insulted.

Harry is devastated to be in Slytherin. He deadass argues with the hat but is forced to concede and go sit and just accept that he's a Slytherin. Ron is conflicted that his new friend who's family fought Voldemort is in slytherin and Draco appears to have the same problem. Despite now being in the same house a rivalry forms between them which is only enhanced by them bunking in the same room.

Harry writes home about this and both James and Lily assure him it's okay he's in Slytherin, Lily tells him that Snape was a Slytherin and Snape is their friend and James reminds him that Slytherin does not mean evil and Gryffindoor does not mean good, wormtail was a Gryffindoor and he turned them over to the dark Lord. This does make him feel a bit better.

Harry manages to maintain his friendship with Ron despite their houses, it's weird at first but they quickly break down that barrier and become great friends, goofing around, becoming friends with the Groundskeeper, which helps them become friends with Hermione.

They make friends with Nevil by saving his rememberall when draco throws it. Nevil helps them with herbology homework from then on. Minera advises Snape to get Harry to be seeker for Slytherin Quiditch after she sees what he does and Harry, who still sees Slytherin as kinda the enemy despite being in it, hesitantly agrees. Slytherin Quiditch is allot less friendly that Gryffindoor, the team is allot colder to him at first, however once he proves himself he finds he loves the sport more than he cares about what team or house he's in and his team warm up to him and actually turn out to not be as scary and mean as he thought. They're still kinda arrogant assholes but Harry is too so he dosent have room to judge

Deadass I do not care about the Philosipers stone shit, people don't think Harry is some kind of chosen one, he and his family survived voldemort and are kinda celebrities for that but because there no tragedy within a year of the event there are rumours its a hoax and eventually the potters surviving the dark Lord becomes a roumour itself so people aren't trying to actively sabotage him. And since he don't think Snape is a stranger out to get him (litterally confronts him about his sus and Snape is like "nah fam I may not like hour dad but you're like my godson I'm not gonna try and kill you in the middle of a quiditch match on a broom" and Harry is like "oh...okay nvm but if you're lying I'm telling my mum" and when he dosent flinch he knows he's telling the truth) and so they quickly figure it was Quirrel. When Hermione puts sus on him Harry decides to be very Slytherin when they confront him in the bathroom and tries to wingardium leviosa him into the air, only getting his turban and showing off his voldemort face. In front of like three other teachers. Fight ensues, day saved, stone safe.

They do find the mirror while goofing off one night and Harry sees himself as a Gryffindoor with his parents proud. He dosent visit the mirror again

Harry gets the invisibility cloak from James that year for Christmas with the strict instructions that he will not tell anyone except those he trusts of its existence.

Draco, probably in second year again, ends up calling Hermione a mud blood at some point ("Potter! You're making our house look bad hanging out with that mud blood!) Harry immidately starts yelling at Draco for that and it quickly escalates to them fist fighting. Sape ends up being the one to discipline them, actually telling Draco off for using such a phrase but still punishing Harry for starting Violence. This is what ends up with them being punished by being sent into the woods with Hagrid. They somehow end up bodmung on tbsi trip, Harry asking why Draco would do that and Draco launching into a tirade about how "father says it and father is always right! He'd beat me if I was friends with a mud blood why should you get to do this and that id get punished for this and that father this father that-" you get the picture. Harry just lets him rant until he's done and then is like "wow your dad is a dick" and drack tries to.deny but Harry just goes through all the shitty stuff draco just told him his father did and draco is just like "...you won't tell my father we talked about this will you" "look mate, I dont ever wanna even meet your father and if I did meet him I would have a bunch of other shit to say to him and a few gestures." And so Harry managed to convince Draco his dad is the dick he is and begins on a mission to get him to see that and be better than him.

Harry goes home for Christmas but always sends his friends gifts. In second year before they depart on the train he gives Draco something before they part ways. He knows a gift would probably be suspicious from him arriving at Malfoy Manor so he gives to to Draco with instructions to only open it at christmas. On christmas day, when he gets some alone time, Draco opens the gift. It's a metal bangle of a Snake that when he rubs it and says a set word it becomes a warm light in the darkness. Draco only says uts acceptable when they meet in the new year bug Harry sees him wearing it and catches him using it at night.

Sometimes Harry has nightmares about the night Voldemort tried to kill his family and of the dark Lord himself. Draco has nightmares of his father and death eaters. When they wake the other up from the nightmares they sit ul and talk about them, abiut random thing or just make teasing jabs at each other until they're comfortable to sleep again

Draco gives up the information they need about the chamber when asked so no need for polyjuice, apologises to Hermione on their way out from the Slytherin dorm room, visits her and brings her and apology chocolate frog for when she is cured (the boys told him they were her favorite) and follows Ron and Harry to the chamber, demanding he be a part in the adventure. Its the Basilisk and Tom Riddle that terrify Draco and seals the deal on his conversion over to the "oppose the dark Lord" side

Draco sets Dobby free

Let's get some Potter family back in here for the hell of it. Sirius has been in love with Remus for yeaaars. Lily knows and is his emotional support. James is oblivious. Remus is with Tonks for a few years but talks to James about his doubts. James is all "naah man Tonks is great! I understand you don't think yihre worthy of a great girl but you are man! Belive in yourself!" And so Remus sticks with it. By Harry's third year there are rumours in the order of Wormtail being about, Remus becomes Hogwart's defence against the dark arts teacher and Sirius is a wreck with Harry and Remus in the frey but him stuck on the sidelines, even Tonks is confused and kinda annoyed with his fretting causing him to confess to her that he lives her boyfriend. She's surprisingly chill and is like "deadass I've been waiting for years for him to break up with me and get with you you two are so stupid" and so Sirius runs off in doggy disguise to confess to moony and arrives in time to help save the day

Draco slowly intergrates into the friend group, Ron bringing some of his friends (Dean and Sean) in a bit and Draco trying to bring some of his friends (Crab Goil and Blaze) but they're mostly hesitant (except from Blaize who wants help on his Herbology from the smart awkward Hufflepuff)

Draco pretends not to be worried about the dementors and Harry's fear of them but he always has his eye on them whenever he sees one.

The demontors were sent out to look for Peter Pettigrew.

Harry shares the maunders map with Draco when he finds it. Harry recognises whk the maunders are as soon as he sees it but doesn't tell Fred and George. However when they see Peters name they rush to Remus. Remus is in a bit of a tiz by this and tells them to follow him with the invisibility cloak as they go look for him. They never find him that night and he ends up dissapearing off the map but Remus still confiscated the map for the night and tells them to keep an eye out for anything suspicious, including rats. They're confused but promise to be careful.

Draco doesn't try and get buckbeak executed this time, he deadass is working with Harry to gain the hypogriff's trust and some slytherins that are pussdd they're being all friendly with other houses set off a loud spell that spooks buckhead and draco shoves Harry out of the way before he can get hurt and takes the brunt. None knows how word got to Lucius, it causes an argument in the group especially when Drsco is too afraid to stand up to his father but Harry stands up to him as he knows why Daco is afraid and they work out a plan to free buckbeak instead.

The plan ends up co-inciding with the day Sirius breaks into hogwarts. The dementors know there's an intruder but can't find him so are more active that usual, Sirius doesn't get tome to confess because as soon as he arrives Remus is all work mode and fills him in on the map and all and needs Sirius' nose to sniff him out. The kids plan of rescue is interupted because of this and most continues as normal with Harry furious at Peter not Sirius when he's revealed for trying to get his family killed and Draco tagging along. Snape busting in let's Peter escape unfortunately and then full moon and dementors happen. They manage to rescue buckbeak and themselves with time Turner magic and all is good.

After the full moon is done sirius sniffs out Moony and crades him in his arms until he wakes up, its there in the sunrise he tearfully tells him he loves him and with a clear mind Remus tells him he loves him too.

Draco ends up actually getting into an argument with his dad about trying to get buckbeak killed when he gets home which starts Draco's proper rebellious streak with also means an increase of strictness from Lucius. Draco and Harry send secret messages back and forth.

Thats all for now but I have ideas for the rest of the stories I will ramble about later!

#harry potter #harry potter rambles #hp #draco malfoy #fuck jk rowling jyst to be clear #i am re-wroting harry potter #i wrote harry potter now #me and miku

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doyochieks · 4 years

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the man of my dreams.

DoyoungxReader

Word Count: 2.6k

Sometimes, if I look closely, I can still see him.

His eyes, delicate and strong, telling stories with every blink.

And his smile...that gummy smile of his, a breath of fresh air in midsummer. It's warm but it's not the kind you loathe for being too ardent.

I like everything about him. He is sturdy yet clumsy. With a physique like his, you'll never imagine that clumsiness is a part of his charm. He is clever yet humble. Sometimes, I hate him for being a smart mouth but he never crossed the line nor chose to show off. He is self-loving yet considerate. He knows what he wants and I admire him for that, but he was never not cautious with his actions or words. Delicate words always come out of his mouth that makes me wonder if it is really his words or his lips that make it so beautiful. To sum it up, he is imperfect and humane.

But the thing is...I don't even know him, or if he exists.

Usually, when you dream in your sleep, it is either of the two: it involves you or somewhere you thought of being involved in. But mine is a little different, someone else appears and I have no idea how and why it happened. It's like a system within me, every time I close my eyes, I see him. But when it's open, he was never there.

Today is a usual Saturday at the coffee shop; swarming with people combined with the cacophony of their chitchats. I don't hate it but I like the stillness of Tuesdays better. The smell of coffee never fails to elate me which is why I love my job. Making people drinks and seeing them enjoy it over either a me-time or hangout with friends intoxicate me. And well, free coffee!

"Two Iced Americano for Johnny!"

It was almost closing time yet there are still people left; some coming in, but most are leaving. I was preparing to clean up when I heard the door open, perhaps rushing in as it is just ten minutes before closing. The customer might have tripped himself since there was a rattle of chairs near the entrance.

"Uh, sorry about that. I can still order, can't I?" he asked my co-worker who was assigned to be today's cashier.

"Yes, sir. You're just about in time." I can hear her smile through the words she just uttered. Washing my hands to prepare for his drink, I didn't mind looking back. Upon confirming the order, I started working on it. I usually remember the first and last customers of the day. They seem special in a way that out of all the customers, I'm most thankful for them. For trusting a barista in either making or ruining their morning, and coming in even if the door seems closing already.

"One iced latte for Do---young?"

And that moment, I was so sure I won't forget today's last customer. He looked at me with those eyes, those that I’ve only seen in my dreams. I'm not sure how long I stared but I was sure that his eyes were dreamier in person.

"Uhm, yes? That would be me."

Confusion is painted on his face that I always longed to touch. But no, this can't be real. I'm starting to think that it may be because I had four cups of coffee today.

"Ah right! Enjoy your drink, Doyoung."

I handed him his drink and stared at his hands instead. It's as pretty as I always see with my closed eyes and recurring dreams. He smiled at me as he said thanks and I just smiled back, or I thought I did. Standing there in what feels like forever, I turned to my colleague.

"I'm sorry but can you close up for the day? I just remembered something really really important."

"If it's your gas valve, then you should run for your life."

"Thanks! I'm going."

I grabbed my bag and ran out as fast as I could, looking right and left thinking where he headed to. My mind has stopped functioning properly but my feet were constantly moving. This must be the luckiest day for me as I saw him waiting on the bus stop, with the coffee I made in his hands. He might have heard how loud my thoughts were (or it's because I was panting from the run) because he stood up and got worried all of a sudden. I watched him struggling to check his pockets while holding the latte in his other hand as I catch my breath. With much of a thought, I said,

"Uh....hi!"

But he replied as soon as I greeted him,

"Sorry! Did I leave my card behind?? I'm sorry you have to run all the way I---"

"No, it's not that."

He stopped looking for his wallet and gave me a questioning look. The way he tilted his head a bit and curiosity flashing through his eyes got me giggling: you can never really fail to catch what he's thinking through that mind of his.

"Sorry, didn't mean to laugh. I just had to say something but it might sound really weird. Well, actually, it ---"

"What is it?"

He cut me off, surprised and I knowingly smiled. He really can't stand not knowing something huh.

"It is weird so please bear with me, and I'm apologizing in advance."

"No, not that."

"What?"

"I meant the giggle, what's with that?

He caught me off guard with his question, as he always did in my dreams. How come he's real? I thought he was just a figment of my frivolous imagination. And yet, he's here standing in front of me dressed in his usual alluring self, with my very own open eyes. I'm still doubting if this is just the effect of my caffeine intake plus the fatigue today's shift has brought me, or maybe this is one of those dreams again pretending it is real. Either way, I decided not to let this pass.

"It's just that...you're very transparent and you do not even try to cover it up, well, most of the time."

Eyes boring into me and eyebrows meeting a bit in the middle, it is evident that he is questioning this very moment, me, and the unknown that I didn't have an answer to. Ah, it's the Aquarius in him. I wanted to laugh but I don't want to look weirder than I already am, instead I gave him a nervous smile.

"Wait, you know me?"

"Uh, well, I first heard your name like 10 minutes ago?"

"I mean, me. Not my name."

That smart mouth of his never misses its timing. My smile turns bigger but not enough to shake the nervousness away.

"So?"

He asked with sassiness and kindness combined I don't know how he does it. I just find it amazing, I mean everything about him is.

"I told you it's weird and it's a long story. But if you want to know--"

"I'm all ears."

"Uh, okay? Uhm would it be alright if I ask that we walk around the park?"

He raises his eyebrow and I felt myself blushing with all the ideas coming to his head. I want to bump my head on a hard surface so that I can think straight since I'm not really sure what I'm doing but every cell in me shouts to make the most of this chance so I did.

"I mean, it's just that, I don't think I'll be able to tell you all about it while standing still and just staring at you. But if you're not comfortable with it, it's totally fine!"

It must be because I look and sound dumb, he grinned. He is as warm as I've always seen in my dreams, my heart can't help but flutter.

"A walk sounds good."

He smiled like he's assuring me that I'm still fine, not crazy enough for him to shout for help. I've always had existential crisis but this is the most I've had in a day, and maybe, just maybe this is the answer to it.

"Let's go?"

"Uh yes, okay. Let me just take off my apron. Oh god, I was wearing it this whole time?"

I did a lot of things to be embarrassed about but I never thought that talking to the man I like in my barista apron, and realizing it later on could be the worst of it all. I turned around for the sole purpose of hiding my abashed self, and untied my apron as the excuse. His hearty laugh is all I hear and even though it must be because of how foolish I look, it makes me feel giddy.

I walked ahead of him since there is no doubt that I'm all red and yet I wanna look back and check if he's following me only to see that he's walking beside me already. I avoided eye contact, cursing myself internally for all the things that I could've done better today. I don't think I could bring to trust myself for making the first move or uttering the first word due to shame I brought upon myself so I matched my every step with his.

Seconds passed and he asked, thank the gods old and new he did,

"So what's the long and weird story you were talking about?"

Then again, he smiled. One expressing benevolence and a hope of not making someone discomfort. Right there and then, I realized, there is one thing I hate about him: he easily smiles. I breathed in and started story-telling.

I told him how I started seeing flashes of him since the start of college and how terrified I was at first since it felt like I was invading his privacy or something. Added in the bits of my conspiracy theory about this and that I tried knowing more about it then eventually giving up. Lastly, I narrated how it turned from mystery to curiosity of knowing him to affection and longing. I don't think I can save face after all this, but this is it. No backing out. I heave a deep sigh.

"And now you're here, listening to this non-sense I stated. It feels like a fever dream, really."

He stopped walking and turned to me, the iced latte cup left with some ice cubes in hand.

"It's a beautiful story. I don't fully believe you but I don't think you made this up either. Plus, the Doyoung in your dreams sounds like me so if I was in your shoes, I'd be confused too."

He laughs and I can't help but smile. I know it was too much to take in, especially from a stranger but he was considerate enough to listen and try to comprehend. I haven't met the whole population of men in this vast universe but I don't think I can ever look at them the way I look at Doyoung. I was just hoping that his kindness would go a long way, so I mustered the remaining courage I have in me.

"I bet this is all confusing for you, but this is what I'm sure of: I like you, Doyoung. I really do."

But fate had plans and his kindness has its limits.

"I'm sorry."

If this is a dream, please wake me up now. Please.

"It's a beautiful story, and I had fun listening to you tonight. But I don't think it's me, it's the man in your dreams that you like, not me."

"It is you. I just didn't know your name before or of your existence but it is you!"

"You didn't even know if I exist before. I just happened to walk in that café and the characteristics of the man from your dream fits so you decided it is me. We maybe alike but I'm not him. You like him, that we're sure of, but I'm not him. I'm sorry."

Every rationality I have left struck through me and tears started falling. As always, he's right.

"But I've seen you. I'm sure of those eyes that show what you feel or think as of the moment, that build looking so sturdy yet there's a hidden clumsiness, that smart mouth of yours that doesn't miss its beat. And these hands, I'm sure it is the one I'm always holding in my dreams. It is you."

I held on his soft hands like a lifeline, dropping on the ground. I never cried publicly so this must be a first and I know people are staring, I just can't seem to prioritize what they think of me over how my heart feels like it is hammered to pieces. This can't be real. I squeezed his hand for validation, praying this is just a nightmare or a joke, yes I think I can take this as joke but he squeezed my hand back. I hid my face between my knees as tears won't stop. My throat feels like someone poured a whole bottle of whiskey on it, I'm on fire, and I'm slowly burning to ashes, about to scatter away. It hurts.

I felt him match my current height. Without letting go of my hand, he held my face in his other one and all I see are his eyes. Those eyes that always made my day, reassured me when I was feeling doubtful, looked at me like he was happy to have me in every moment we had, and never hid any emotion with me. And as I looked at him, I see that he feels sorry for me, and confused with what he needs to do. So I did, what I have to. I let go of his hand, stood up and smiled at him.

"Sorry for all the ruckus. I'm pretty sure you didn't sign up for this."

I tried laughing but he smiled at me, and now my eyes are starting to send a new batch of tears.

"I really am sorry. I don't know what to say but I do hope you'll find him."

Isn't it ironic? Someone waving his goodbye with hopeful wishes of you finding the one you've longed for but it is him. You know it is him. But he knows himself, better than a stranger whose been seeing him only in her dreams. He is sure it isn't him, his face tells it all.

I looked away, not able to handle looking at him, walking away.

"I guess this is goodbye?"

Goodbye never sounded so painful like this until it came from him. He smiled and I nod, diverting my face away.

My eyes once again began to well up. I waved him a single goodbye and didn't dare look. I can hear him walking away and it was the saddest song I ever heard. I hugged myself while silently crying in the middle of the night at a park. Suddenly, I realized that this is the probably the last I'll ever saw of him so I dared look. He's walking towards the bus stop where I found him earlier. The image is so heart-rending but I can't look away either. I want to see him more, even if it's the sight of him walking away from me.

Sometimes, if I look closely, I can still see him.

His eyes, telling me that he's sorry.

His smile, bright against the dimness of the night, trying to console me.

His figure walking away from me, sure of himself and what he did.

His words, carefully constructed to a stranger who claims she knows him through her dreams.

He exists and he's out there.

I never dreamt of him again. I dread every waking hour as I plead for another hour, minute or second of perhaps seeing him again but it never happened. Every time I closed my eyes, I see him walking away from me in the park and I've come to accept that I'll never wake up from that...since it wasn't a dream anyway.

#nct scenarios #nct writing #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct x reader #nct x oc #kim doyoung #nct doyoung #nct au #nct fic #nct fluff #nct angst

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imagine-lcorp · 4 years

Text

Mustang Ride (Part XII)

A/N: Okay okay, i know, i know, it’s been a while but my life rigth now is kinda crazy, good news we’re still here!!!! Also here is to all of you who have been waiting for the continuation of this series, you’re great, love ya guys!!!!

Lena Luthor x Shapeshifter!R//Word Count: 1,348

#Mustang Ride Series: Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII - Part IX - Part X - Part XI - Part XII - Part XIII (WIP) -------------------------------------------------------

"How?" You whispered as Jeffrey walked around your bed. He smiled with a hint of pride and malice in her eyes and you felt a cold shiver down your spine.

"It took me a while, you know, finding you." He took a seat on a chair that stood in the corner of the room and made himself comfortable.

For a moment, the panic you started to feel around Jeffrey was replaced with anger. You remembered him from your younger years and the way he used to be didn't seem to have changed at all. He had always been annoying, believing himself the king of the playground, finding some sort of delight preying on other kids he had considered weaker than him. This time, however, the anger came from something more, the suspicion that he had been the reason you were there, trapped and chained.

"How?" You repeated.

"You remember that day in the woods, don't you? I had never seen someone do what you did that day and, I admit, you left quite an impression on me. It was the first time I ever felt truly...terrified." He placed his elbows on his knees and leaned his head towards you.

That last day of school before winter break came again to your mind. The late afternoon when Jeffrey and his friends had put their hands on you and dragged you into the forest. The useless screams that came from your mouth, the pointless fight you had tried to put against them, the monster they had forced you to become.

"But no one believed a word of what I had seen. You had disappeared after that day and I had no further evidence to proof what monster you were." His eyes reflected nothing but resentment as he looked at you. "I was the fucking boy who cried wolf."

"If that's all you wanted, hunting me, why am I here?"

"Well, things are a bit more complicated than that now, considering this is the second time I had to go after you." The corner of his lips lifted in a devilish smirk as your eyes opened in shock.

"Y-you..."

"Oh, yes. You may not know this but back in the day my family was in the hunting business. They were bounty hunters, to be more accurate. So when I took over the business, I made you my first mission."

According to Jeffrey, he had spent a good couple of years trying to track you down. All his searches had been useless until he met Roulette and she had offered a deal he couldn't really say no to. He would hunt aliens for her and in exchange he would receive a considerable amount of money, with an extra if the aliens he brought her were also good fighters. It keep going for a couple of years until Roulette asked him to go after an specific person.

She had talked to him about this alien species capable of changing its form to whatever it wanted. The problem was that she had never found one until she heard the rumors about you. So she sent him on a quest to find you and, even with the little information she had about you, he did it.

"I would have loved to just shoot you the moment I saw you but the idea of watching you get beaten by a bunch of aliens was much more compelling."

You tried to move once again, pulling yourself up with your arms, but it was useless and painful as the ache in your back and the dizziness of the sedatives hit you again. You fell back in the bed with a couple of sweat drops forming in your forehead from the effort and noticing your restrains were also doing its job at keeping you there.

"Oh, you're not getting out of here so easily. The doctors are not done yet toying with you."

"What are they doing with me?" You growled.

"I can't believe you haven't figured that yet. I guess your brain doesn't work like it used to after all the shit they have been injecting you." He smiled once again.

The door of the room opened a second later, Lillian entered with Henshaw following behind and pushing a medical cart full with medical instruments, ampules and test tubes, all shapes, sizes and colors.

"Well, I see you already came to make your acquaintance, Mr. Hex." She said and turned to look at the medical instruments. "Unfortunately, your time with our guest here is over. I must ask you to leave so we can continue with our work."

Jeffrey stepped out of the chair with an annoyed expression and walked to the other side of your bed, facing Lillian and Henshaw.

"I would like to see it, if you don't mind. I wanna be prepared to what you gonna be doing with me too." He said.

"There's no need, Mr. Hex, and I assure you we're going to be more gentle with you, if that's what you're worried about." Lillian directed him a death stare and you were confused as to why they would be doing the same to him. You were not against it if it meant making him suffer for a while but you couldn't think of a reason why they would be doing this to him. "Now, I wouldn't want to ask my partner here to escort you out of the room."

Henshaw left the cart near Lillian and stood like a sentinel, looking at Jeffrey with a death stare. "You should go."

"Have fun without me then." He said and started to walk to the door as Lillian followed his stride.

You watched the scene unfold with a frown, still confused and shocked about what Jeffrey had said. It wasn't enough that you were trapped like a lab rat in an unknown place at the mercy of Lillian Luthor and her cyborg guard dog but now Jeffrey was part of the equation.

Everyone there had a reason to keep you where you were and it wasn't easy to imagine why. Everyone seemed to have their own agenda about you. If Roulette wanted you back on the ring then, why was Lilian keeping you? If Lillian only wanted you as her test subject, why keep Roulette and Jeffrey around? And if Jeffrey wanted to mess up with you, why did he need any of them?

"Do you know the story of Periclymenus?"

"Who?"

"He was a Greek prince. His grandfather Poseidon gave him the ability to transform himself into various animals. A lion, a snake, a swarm of bees." She pulled away, back to the medical cart. "Unfortunately, he was murdered by Heracles when he invaded his kingdom. They fought but, of course, Heracles was stronger. Periclymenus couldn't escape him and he inevitably died at the hands of the invader."

Lillian returned her attention to you and then at the medical cart. She took a syringe from it and walked towards you, to inject its content in your IV bag.

"What do you think was the cause of his defeat?" She said pulling the syringe away and not expecting a real answer from you. "If you think about it, Heracles only had his strength against Periclymenus' gift. So, how did Heracles manage what he did?"

You started to feel numb.

"Because it was still the strength of one man against the force of one that felt like a thousand." She declared. "I like to think, if Periclymenus had possessed the same strength as Heracles, he would have succeeded instead."

"I guess we will never know." It was becoming difficult to stay awake with your body feeling broken and your mind spinning.

"Oh, but we will and you're helping us it."

"What are you doing with me?" You asked once again.

"Our kingdom is at war, (Y/N), and we need a new champion. One bred from the blood of the gods, old and new." She smiled at you. "This time, I'm going to make sure we conquer." She said and all the light faded out.

#mustang ride #mustang ride series #lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor imagines #shapeshifter #shapeshifter reader #Shapeshifter!Reader #series #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor x you #lena x reader #lena x you

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intellectual-urchin · 4 years

Text

Gone Feral (A fallout 4 oneshot)

I originally posted this on my wattpad account but I feel like my talent was wasted posting it there so now i’m posting it here. This is gender ambiguous! My first fallout 4 fanfiction and of course I had to make it angst.

The morning had started out the same as any other, Sole making a plan to make progress in the search for Shaun. They had spent the past 2 weeks gathering Rad-X and RadAway until they decided they had more than enough for their dangerous excursion to come. Today was the day that Sole would enter the glowing sea and find Virgil.

The rogue institute scientist had information and was going to be their ticket into the shadowy organization.

They wouldn't lie, they were terrified to go due to all of the horror stories they've heard about how dangerous the glowing sea is. There was no way they were going alone, going alone almost ensured death, which is why Sole decided to take someone whom they trusted wholeheartedly. Hancock. Sole met Hancock a few months ago and they hit it off and became good friends.

When Hancock heard about their predicament, he jumped right into the fray and wanted to help. He wasn't obligated to help at all and yet he wanted to anyways. Hancock saw it as unfair because Sole was new to the commonwealth. Having been on ice for 200 years only to be thrown into a confusing and cruel world. He decided he wanted to join Sole because he wasn't going to let Sole fall victim to the Commonwealth's cruelty without help. He already had strong resentment for the institute but knowing they stole Sole's little boy steeled his resolve to aid them. This fact was one of the many reasons Sole grew to be good friends with Hancock. He wasn't obligated to help and yet he was doing so anyways and that made Sole beam with respect for the ghoul.

And so Sole and Hancock made their way towards the glowing sea.

Timeskip <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The duo knew that they had made it into the glowing sea immediately. Sole's pip-boy began to click as it detected the lingering radiation in the air and they could feel the atmosphere change almost instantly. Hearing the clicking of the pip-boy, Hancock caught Sole's attention.

"I'd advise you to pop a Rad-X unless you wanna go ghoul like me Sole" Their eyes flew open as they realized their mistake. They had nearly forgotten because they had become so used to the clicking of the geiger counter. Sole grabbed a Rad-X from their bag and swallowed it, giving a nod and a sheepish smile to the ghoul in thanks. Hancock merely chuckled and shook his head playfully as they continued on.

They continued walking for a half hour before Sole felt the ground next to them shake before a ferocious radscorpion popped out the ground, its eyes gleaming and claws clicking threateningly. Sole lept back and fired 3 shots at the beast with their laser rifle. The first missed while the other two appeared to have no affect other than angering it. It began to charge Sole but Hancock fired his shotgun twice at its head to put it down before it could do real harm. The beast slumped over as life left its body.

"Well at least it wasn't a deathclaw. You should have seen the look on your face!" The ghoul laughed while Sole shot him a look before joining in with the ghoul's laughter.

"Remember that time you shrieked when a Mirelurk popped out from under you when we helped retake the castle? You sounded like a molerat!" Sole shot back at the ghoul and the laughter increased to a roar. Hancock was the first to stop laughing as he suddenly became mute and doubled over with his hands on his knees and face turned towards the ground. Sole stopped when they noticed this and raised an eyebrow.

"I know i'm funny but i've never seen you laugh hard enough to act like this." Sole said worriedly as Hancock remained silent.

"Uhh, Hancock? You okay there?" Sole waved their hand in front of Hancock's face and he looked up. His eyes were unfocused as he blinked up at Sole blearily before shaking his head as if to clear his vision.

"I just feel like I have a killer hangover. Maybe I should cut back on the chems..." He trailed off as Sole began lowering their stuff to the ground.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"We are taking a break." Sole replied in a matter-of-factly tone that he interpreted to mean that there was no room for arguing. He sighed softly as he lowered himself to sit on a rock.

He pulled a cigarette out and lit it, bringing it to his ruined lips and puffing slowly. Sole fiddled with their pip-boy to see how far they were from their destination.

"So it looks like we have a few more hours worth of walking once we start moving again and-" Sole stopped talking when they raised their eyes towards Hancock.

"If you have a hangover, wouldn't smoking make it worse?" they chided.

"Nah, works differently for me. Helps me relax." the ghoul retorted.

Sole sighed at the ghoul and handed a can of purified water to the ghoul.

"Drink some water, will you? It'll help you feel better."

He accepted the water and drank it quickly muttering a quick "thanks" when he finished.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for a while longer before Sole got up and continued the laborious trek to find Virgil.

Timeskip <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hancock's POV

I followed behind sole at a slightly slower pace. I don't know what's up with me today but I feel so weak. This is worse than any hangover I've ever had but I don't want to worry them. I can feel how shaky I am and I have to keep blinking to clear my eyes. If this goes on for much longer I may need to stop.

I let out an involuntary whine that sounded almost like a growl. I noticed that Sole froze ahead of me and turned around. Damn, this is supposed to be for their sake, I can't help but feel guilty for having them worry about me. They have enough problems to deal with without me feeling sick.

"Hancock? Are you sure you're okay? You don't look good at all. We can go back if you wa-"

"No! I'm fine, let's keep moving." I snapped and felt a minor pang of guilt after seeing the mixed emotion of shock and hurt flash across their face. I was confused. I don't know why i'm acting so irritable and it feels like everything is blurring together.

I stumbled past Sole heading in the direction of our destination. The shakes continued and my vision became foggier with each step I took. A voice in the back of my head was screaming to take Sole up on their offer and head home, saying that I wouldn't make it. I ignored it and continued on.

I couldn't even tell if Sole was following me anymore but I didn't care. Time seemed to slow as my surroundings faded. My vision began to go dark rapidly and my hearing faded away. I collapsed and the last thing I heard was Sole calling out to me. It sounded distant as if they were a mile away.

I couldn't see and I was losing my awareness. Everything was fading and quick. It seemed as though I was losing myself with every second. I didn't know where I was or what was going on. Even my own thoughts were dulling to the point of blankness.

I felt a hand grip my forearm firmly and I swatted at it and struggled weakly. The unknown appendage retracted quickly and I could feel my consciousness leave me. I couldn't even remember who I was anymore.

One last thought surfaced in my head before I finally gave in to the seductive lull of unconsciousness.

This is the end, I've gone feral.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sole sat on the ground a few feet away from Hancock and they were shaking slightly. It had been around 20 minutes since Hancock collapsed and their attempts at waking him were futile. The only sounds around them were the quiet rasps coming from the ghoul's unconscious form and the radiation storm that surrounded them. They held their head between their knees as they thought of what to do.

A few minutes passed before their head suddenly shot up and they stood quickly while pulling a small grenade like object from their bag. It was a last ditch effort to help Hancock: A vertibird signal grenade. They were barely involved with the brotherhood but they prayed that they would respond and give a lift back to sanctuary. Curie had recently set up a clinic there and Sole's last hope was that Curie could help Sole's trusted friend.

Sole fumbled with the pin and removed it before they tossed it a couple meters away. Now all they had to do was wait.

Barely 5 minutes passed before the ghoul began to stir. He struggled for a moment and hauled himself to his feet, swaying slightly as he surveyed his surroundings.

"Hancock! I'm so glad you're okay! I was really worried, I signaled a vertibird and we are going back to sanctuary to have you looked at. I really do think you should lower your chem use, at least until you rec-" They stopped as Hancock turned to face them. The movements caught them off guard. It wasn't fluid, it was jerky and sporadic.

His mouth hung open as saliva dripped from it. The hat that usually was placed on his head was knocked from it and it lay forgotten a few feet away. Hancock's eyes were gaunt and looked lifeless. There was no light behind them and no recognition when they looked upon Sole.

The rasps turned to growls and Hancock's form advanced upon sole in an inhuman way.

Realization hit Sole like a truck: Hancock had become feral. They had never seen it happen before but looking at the way Hancock was behaving, there was no mistaking it. They didn't expect it to happen so quickly but if they got back quick enough maybe Curie could find a way to help reverse the effect.

Lost in thought, Sole didn't notice that he had become close enough to reach. They shrunk back but he kept pursuing. Ferals were unpredictable and could easily catch someone off guard, which was why Sole was unprepared when Hancock suddenly lunged at them, knocking them down and landing on top of them.

His teeth gnashed at Sole's face but Sole used their strength to push him away. They couldn't hurt Hancock, he was their friend and it didn't feel right. But they also couldn't let themselves be killed when they were this close to finding their son.Sole shoved the ghoul off of them and stood, backpedaling a few steps away to create some distance.

He appeared to be disoriented and Sole used that to their advantage to pull a syringer rifle from their bag. Setting the gun aside, Sole rifled through the bag for their desired ammo: A lock joint syringe. It wouldn't kill him but it would paralyze him for a while and buy them some time for the vertibird to arrive.

Loading the gun, they aimed it carefully at Hancock's torso as he ambled toward Sole. Limbs jerking rather than the thought out movements of a human being.

Sole fired and the syringe hit it's mark; embedding itself into the ghoul's flesh.

The liquid in the syringe took effect almost immediately. He stopped moving as if time had frozen and fell to the floor as if he was a mannequin someone had knocked over.

Sole released a breath they didn't know they were holding and as if on cue, the whirring of a vertibird approached. It landed some yards away as a knight in power armor hopped out and approached.

"We received your signal and came as quickly as we could." The knight said in a controlled tone.

"Please help! My friend isn't doing good. I need you to give me a lift to Sanctuary. He needs help right away. I know you don't see ghouls as valuable but please don't let him die out here. I need your help." Sole sputtered out in a panicked tone.

The knight remained silent and effortlessly picked up Hancock's form and turned back and walked towards the vertibird. Sole gaped for a moment before following behind the knight.

Sole entered the vertibird and made the journey back to sanctuary where they hoped they could save Hancock. He meant a lot to Sole as well as the people of Goodneighbor and even some of Sole's other companions. His confident and playful nature was contagious and it made the ghoul easy to get along with...as long as you didn't mind the chem usage. A dark thought entered Sole's mind as they thought about what life without Hancock would be like if he proved to be a lost cause.

Sole shook their head of the thought and kept their eyes on the still paralyzed ghoul as the sound of the vertibird's blades whirred around them.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Having finally made it to sanctuary, the knight from before helped carry Hancock to the infirmary. Curie gasped in shock when she caught sight of the paralyzed ghoul being carried towards her little clinic.

She could sense an emergency and silently led them to a cot. The knight laid him down and uttered a quick "Ad victoriam" before taking his leave.

"Curie, I'm afraid that Hancock may have gone feral and I want you to see if there is anything you can do. Please! I- I can't lose him!" Sole sounded desperate and they were.

"I will do all zhat I can but I cannot make any promises. If he has indeed gone feral zhen I need to use the restraints so zhat zhere is no risk of harm to anyone else when he regains mobility." and with that she began work.

Sole silently began to help restrain his limbs. They no longer held the warmth they had earlier that day and it was grounding and seemed to snap Sole out of their shock. This was reality, not some nightmare.

"Sole, I wish to ask you to go somewhere else while I work. I will call for you when you are needed. So much stress is no good for your health."

Sole sighed, Curie was right. It wasn't doing any good. There was nothing more they could do for the moment. They got up and stiffly walked out of the once cozy clinic, but now it looked grim and foreboding.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hours passed and Sole's exhaustion caught up with them. They fell into a restless sleep that was disturbed by a settler clearing their throat to grab their attention.

"Excuse me, Curie sent me to come get you. Something about your friend."

Sole's stomach did a flip as they approached the clinic with bated breath. They opened the door and were met with the sight of a thrashing and growling Hancock. "I am so sorry madame/monsieur. I have done everything I can but zhere is nothing to be done once they go feral. The damage is irreparable and none of my medical procedures have helped." Curie's eyes were red and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. A small voice in the back of Sole's head told them that they had known all along that there was nothing to be done for him but until now they ignored it.

Now they were forced to face reality and reality was cruel. The tears rolled down their face before they could stop them. They couldn't just keep a feral chained up hoping that one day it would become aware. Not even a miracle could save Hancock, he was too far gone. There was only one thing to do and both people in the room knew it had to be done, they just didn't want to say it out loud.

Curie enveloped Sole in a hug to comfort them. There was no stopping the tears now, they flowed freely one after the other down their cheeks. They stood embracing each other until the crying died down to sniffling. Curie stepped back and opened her mouth to speak.

"I know how much you valued Hancock so if you'd like me too, I can ease his suffering so you don't have to see..." she trailed off.

"Curie, it's okay. I- I can deal with it. Could you step outside, I'd like to be alone." Sole choked out the words as Curie wordlessly stepped out and closed the door behind her.

Sole approached the still struggling Hancock and looked at his face. The eyes were dull and focused on Sole without recognition. A voice in Sole's head told them that this was no longer the Hancock they grew to respect. He's been gone since he turned feral. Arms struggled against their bonds in an attempt to reach their target.

Sole swallowed thickly as they pulled their pistol from it's holster. They held their breath and aimed it at Hancock's head. It would only take one shot, quick and painless.

Memories flashed through Sole's head as tears began flowing again. No more would there be drinking contests, no more would there be Sole nagging Hancock as he got high, the town of Goodneighbor now no longer had a mayor, and one of Sole's closest and only friends was soon to be no more although they supposed he had already been gone ever since the radiation turned him.

Sole's eyes met the dull eyes of Hancock. Although Sole's swam with recognition, Hancock's eyes were empty and wild.

They exhaled and their grip was firm as they clenched their eyes shut.

And they fired.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

This took me most of the day to write and actually my first time writing angst. I hope I did a good job writing this.

The idea that Hancock may eventually go feral is one I really don't like thinking of but I had inspiration to write and so I did.

#ghoul #john hancock #hancock #fallout4 #fallout 4 #fo4 hancock #fo4 #feral #angst #fanfic #fallout #oneshot

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lallemcnt · 5 years

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go ahead and watch my heart burn (part four)

“When you look at him you see dark night opening, giving way to dawn.”

— Ibn Said al-Maghribi

“Talk to me.”

“You shouldn’t have to reassure me all the fucking time! I’m so sick of my brain and how messed up I am!”

“You’re not messed up, Lucas.”

Lucas is perched on the arm of Eliott’s sofa, head bowed and arms shielding his body. Eliott sits on the edge of the sofa at its other end, the exasperated expression on his face mirroring Lucas’ voice. The distance between them, a sofa separating them, feels like miles upon miles, an impossible space to close. Lucas understands his frustration, he even feels sorry for him, sorry that he has to deal with Lucas when he gets like this: frustrated and insecure, when Eliott hasn’t done anything to incite these feelings, when he has been nothing but understanding, nothing but absolutely caring, nothing but a flame in the dark on the days when Lucas’ anxiety has been particularly debilitating.

He knew this was going to happen, that he would mess it up, he just didn’t know he would only have a month of being with Eliott before it all blew up in his face. Abruptly, the frustration drains from him and he is tired. He moves towards the door, stuffing his feet in his trainers and pulling on his jacket. Eliott gets to his feet, following Lucas to the door, asking in a beseeching voice, “You can’t just leave, we need to talk.”

Lucas doesn’t turn around to address him, simply opens the front door and lets out a quiet: “Let me go” before shutting the door behind him and trudging down the stairs into a chilly late summer day. His shoulders instantly hunch up and he’s blowing hot air into his hands for warmth, not sure where he’s going exactly. Going, he scoffs to himself, more like running, like the coward you are. But the knowledge of his cowardice is not enough to make him go back to Eliott and explain.

Lucas recalls a conversation they had a few days after he told Eliott about his father. When Eliott asked Lucas about his anxiety and how it affected him. He didn’t push Lucas to speak about it or set up some kind of intervention. They had been watching reruns of shitty TV at Eliott’s, as usual, eating popcorn and drinking some kind of nasty-ass beer Lucas has brought over when Eliott had asked him:

“I- Can I ask you questions about your anxiety? I’ve been reading up on it and I know I’ll need to do more, but would you…would you mind that? Because I know it is different for everyone.” His voice was tentative, his hands clenched around his beer bottle as if he was scared he had crossed an unspoken line, entering into unknown territory.

It was completely out of the blue. Lucas wondered if this had been on Eliott’s mind the entire evening, he, himself, felt slightly uncomfortable and nervous, because talking about it never ended well, it only ever crushed his mood, his soul, leaving him disappointed. However, he knew, in his heart, that if this thing between them had any chance of survival Eliott had the prerogative to know, to decide for himself if Lucas was worth all the work, and to make this decision he needed all the facts.

Turning down the volume on the TV, Lucas had shifted to face Eliott, because he could be strong. Hadn’t all his years of quiet survival proven that? He could look Eliott in the eye when he inevitably concluded that it was all too much. That Lucas was not worth it.

“You need to understand that you can’t fix me, okay? I’m always going to be dealing with this and I want you to know that I won’t blame you or hate you if you decide to leave, okay? It is a lot. I know,” Pausing for breath, Lucas had taken a swig of his drink before continuing. “Sometimes I’ll get irritable for no reason, at myself and at you. I’ll be snippy. I won’t want to talk to you. When we’ve planned to go to a party or out for dinner, when the day comes round the thought of going may make me feel physically sick and I won’t want to go because I’m terrified of meeting new people or being left alone at a party with nothing to do or no one to talk to. Sometimes I’ll put off doing things and stay home for days because the idea is a lot more peaceful, comfortable and safe than going out.

“And you have to know, it won’t be your fault. I just need space sometimes. There’s something else, too. It’s hard to explain why…there are times when I think it’s because of my father, but I can be touch averse too, casual touches will annoy me and turn my mood sour. I used to be this really affectionate kid, and I still crave touch, but I also hate it at times.”

Eliott nodded thoughtfully along as Lucas spoke; being given the opportunity to explain how he feels and be heard was everything. Everything and more. More than he ever imagined he would be lucky enough to experience.

He doesn’t even know how this afternoon’s argument got heated so quickly, but when he reaches that level of frustration he can’t be talked down, no placating words can calm him, and Eliott contradicting him, telling him he wasn’t messed up made him more angry, and Lucas also knew that while his head was telling him to yell and slam the door and tell Eliott that he will never understand, that he doesn’t get it, that this will never work between them, his heart was whispering for him to get out of there, to cool off, before he said something he would regret.

He knew why Eliott was frustrated, Lucas had been closed off for the past week, refusing to confide in Eliott who had asked him several times what was going on. He was clueless, unsure if he was the problem. Lucas could have easily reassured him that it wasn’t him, but he was feeling mean and bitter. Communication. The age-old issue that tore couples apart on the daily. He knew Eliott would be struggling to understand if the issue was anxiety-related or if Lucas was just being an asshole, which he was want to be every now and then, but that only made Lucas more irate.

Walking along the Seine, Lucas kicks out at a rock and then another, physically exercising his annoyance. The thing was, deep down is wasn’t just anger he felt, it was fear and shock and insurmountable shame, and even the thought of explaining this to Eliott- it is enough to make him sink down on a bench in fatigue, because hasn’t he told enough secrets for once? Hasn’t even opened himself up to pain over and over again these last few weeks? So, seeing what Lucas saw in conjunction with someone else being worried about you and constantly asking if you are okay when you most definitely are not is too much. To be worrying about someone else’s feelings when you are consumed by your own mounting despair is enough emotional grievance to knock you out for a lifetime.

Today at 13:15

Le gang

yann: my dudes who’s up for a night of gaming at mine? bazzz: HELL YES I’M IN arthur: idk i’ve got this huge essay to get done by tomorrow arthur: and i haven’t started yet bazzz: yikes arthur: lucas!!!!!! have u done it yet?? bazzz: come on we haven’t hung out in ages bazzz: are you’ll really choosing work over spending time with ME?! yann: i have bEER arthur: bold of you to assume i’d bunk of uni work for beer bazzz: we’ve got arthur! yann: lulu! where u at? arthur: lulu! bazzz: lulu!

Lucas clicks off the chat, puts it on silent and pulls up Manon’s.

Today at 13:27

Manon

lucas: hey u around? Manon: hey!! Manon: yeah i am Manon: what are you thinking? lucas: ummm wanna go for a walk? Manon: i’d love to

After deciding where to meet, Lucas begins to stroll across one of the many bridges that cross the river. In an attempt to clear his mind of Eliott and their argument, he marvels at the beauty of his city, at all the history that these old and ornate buildings must contain; the grey water washing by them, dividing banks and creating islands. He walks by children already wrapped up in coats and hats but licking away at vanilla ice-creams. There are two men in suits locked in a heated exchange, jaws tight and eyes narrowed. A couple up ahead leans against the side of the bridge, entangled in each other’s arms, blonde hair whipping against their faces: Lucas looks away quickly at the surge in his chest. And just beyond them, he spots a red pea-coat: Manon. Dressed in woolly tights, her brown hair tied in a loose braid, she clutches a paperback book in one hand, her elbows rest on the off-white arm of the bridge, discoloured by the grim of urban life.

When they meet, Lucas falls into her outstretched arms as though this place, here, is a refuge amidst a storming sea. He doesn’t cry, but he remains there for a while. If Lucas had to describe Manon he would wax poetic about her. She’s closer to a sister to him than a friend, but then who ever said a person couldn’t be both to you?

Drawing away from each other, they smile and return to look over the bridge where Manon rests her book. Lucas observes the cover and the authors name as recognition hits and he’s turning back to Manon, incredulously, as he exclaims, “No way! What the hell? Is that the last book?”

Manon is grinning and holding it up to Lucas’ face. “Yep! Had to pre-order it and everything. Just went to pick it up from the shop, actually.”

“I can’t believe it. We waited, what, five years for it and now it’s actually here? Fuck.”

When they were twelve, there was this fantasy book series everyone was reading about magicians and vampires, empires falling and rising, quests for lost artefacts and stolen celestial swords. Suffice it to say, Lucas and Manon were obsessed; they would queue up outside the bookstore for midnight releases with Manon’s older brother and parents, they would have reading parties together on weekends, but it was also one of those series where the last book kept getting pushed back until it’s release seemed a fallacy, but after seven years, the final book was out.

Lucas grabbed the book proffered to him and scanned the cover and back, flipping the book open like a fan. The smell of newly printed pages ready to be devoured and loved was an inexplicable bliss. He placed it in reach of Manon whose back was against the bridge’s sides and face directed towards Lucas, her blue gaze is searching. He pretends to be interested in the boats disappearing beneath him, but he’s forgotten Manon can out-wait him, she has the patience of a saint. What’s more is she has always thought of Lucas as a younger brother despite their birthdays only between two weeks apart — one week, six days, two hours and 19 minutes exactly if you ask Lucas — making her infinitely more willing to spend minutes, hours in silence until he is ready to open up or can’t stand the silence so he fills it meaningless words which eventually unwinds into the deeper stuff, because Manon makes the time to be there for everyone she holds dear. Lucas is one of those lucky people, he knows that.

In this way, while the wind insists on dispelling summer in favour of autumn, as Manon waits out Lucas and the sky grows grey in alliance with the wind and the Seine leads its placid journey, winding around the city, Lucas voices what has got him all twisted up inside for the past week, the catalyst for this argument with Eliott.

“I think I saw my father last week. At uni.”

This shocks Manon. Although he isn’t directly looking at here, out of the corner of his eye he sees her blanch at his words, she turns around, standing beside him as though in solidarity, as if she would be able to protect him from what has already happened. His heart clenches at this.

“How are you feeling?” She asks.

Bringing his hand up to chew his thumb nail, Lucas shrugs, which is ridiculous because he knows how he feels, he’s been sinking in this tumult of negativity for seven fucking days.

“You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to go up to him. I wanted to look him dead in the eyes and see if he would even recognise me, to ask him how he could do what he did and claim it was love? How you can do that to someone you’re supposed to love unconditionally? What did I do exactly to make him hate me so much? What did I do? I want to know so I never do it again, so I don’t provoke that kind of behaviour-”

“Listen to me, Lucas. No,” Manon is shaking her head and holding Lucas own between her hands so he is forced to look at her while she speaks. “You did not provoke anything, you hear me? I can’t explain to you why he did what he did to you, why he hurt you. But I do know one thing for certain, and I know you’re tired of hearing me say it but I will say it forever if I have to, this is all on him, nothing you did was wrong. It was all him. All him.”

Biting down on his lip, blinks back tears. “I don’t even know why he was there, and I didn’t want it to become this big thing but Eliott caught on to my mood, I mean, how could he not? And I didn’t feel like talking about it, not after telling him about my father, my anxiety. It would’ve just been overboard for him, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. Lucas, he’s there, right? Wanting to be with you. In relationships there are times where you don’t want to say how you feel and you don’t want to express the messy shit, but Lucas, if this is going on for an extended period of time you have got to let him in. It’s unfair otherwise. You’re part of a team now.”

Lucas sighs.

“Unless he’s been an asshole and said something-”

“No! He hasn’t-”

“-because then I’ll be having words with him.”

That brings a smile to Lucas’ lips. Hearing Manon threaten someone — even thinking it sounds ridiculous in his head — is always a shock because she’s Manon, always flocking to make sure everyone is okay, wearing their coats when it’s cold, ensuring everyone has a ride home after a night out.

“No, he’s great. I’m the asshole, but what’s new, right?”

Throwing an arm around Lucas’ shoulder, easily done because they’re the same height, Manon frowns. “Just talk to him, my love. For him, for your relationship, but, most importantly, for yourself. Now, say this together with me ‘I am not an asshole’.”

Lucas rolls his eyes but Manon is serious. She begins to open her mouth and when Lucas makes no effort to join her she stops and glares, full force, at him until he obliges with another sigh.

“I am not an asshole.”

“And again.”

“I. Am. Not. An. Asshole.”

“Whoop! That is so true, Lucas. You aren’t. Alright, let’s hobble along somewhere, it’s kinda chilly out here. I think my toes are about to stop working.”

“Okay, okay.”

Linking arms, the two friends find a coffee shop to sit at, a feat on days such as this when everyone is seeking the warmth of the inside, clutching warm mugs of hot chocolate between their hands they speak of lighter things, less serious but just as important.

By the time eight o’clock rolls around, Lucas is feeling hopelessly guilty about leaving Eliott’s place that afternoon. Manon’s words play on his mind: You have got to let him in. It’s unfair otherwise. You’re part of a team now. But because he’s the king of avoidance, Lucas has agreed to go to Yann’s for a gaming night and he’s rationalised to himself that that is okay, because he hasn’t seen the boys in a while and he misses them and Eliott is probably off hanging out with Idriss and Sofiane, so he’s okay and they can speak tomorrow. It can all be sorted out tomorrow.

On his way over to Yann’s, he begins typing an apologetic text to Eliott, it screams pathetic and cheap, everything he should say in person. Cursing in frustration, Lucas deletes it all, at least he tries to and he does erase most of it but his thumb slips onto the send button in his frustration.

Today 20:04

eliott

lucas: i’m

FUCK.

He shoves his phone into the front pocket of his grey hoodie, and of course this happened, he really can’t catch a break can he?

He gets no response. Radio silence. Hopefully hanging with le gang will be distraction enough.

For the first hour Lucas is caught up in the fervor of his friends’ excitement about a new season of a TV show about a family gang in Birmingham, England on netflix. They settle on Yann’s sofa, pulling up beanbags and lazy-boys to rest their feet on; despite their apparent enthusiasm they talk through the entirety of the first episode, making poor imitations of the Birmingham accent, Baz laments about how attractive the leading male is and Lucas can’t do anything but agree.

As the night goes by, however, Lucas becomes restless, he plays one game with Yann and then a team game with Arthur and Basile. He drinks flat coca-cola and chooses the music they listen to, but there, in the background of everything is Eliott’s face when Lucas left. When he is choosing the next song to play he thinks back to the many nights when they would talk on the phone before bed and Eliott would play Lucas the piano music he had grown to love, sometimes falling asleep to it, lulled by tender notes and impossibly smooth melodies. He should be there. With Eliott.

So he leaves, apologising profusely, promising to meet them at lunch on Monday, his mouth agreeing to anything while his one-track mind retains its steady focus on one boy. He is running in the dark, the sky jet-black where weeks ago the sunset was only beginning be set. Impossibly, a few stars peak through the light-pollution endemic to most cities and the moon is there, coaxing him on his way, as if to say hurry hurry you’re almost there. Out of breath and surely sweating Lucas does not stop. He doesn’t text Eliott; he will wait outside his place until he comes home, he will wait forever if that is what it takes.

Lucas is anxious now. He presses the buzzer for Eliott’s door, hoping against hope that he will be forgiven for walking out.

“Hello?”

“It’s me. Lucas.”

Silence.

Lucas is there on the steps, panting from his run, his heart galloping in his chest for more than one reason he can count. It feels like an eternity before he hears the tell-tale sound of the front door buzzing and he’s pushing it open, climbing up the stairs to Eliott’s door. It is down the end of the corridor, the last one on his floor, and Eliott is there, in the doorway, watching Lucas as he walks towards him and it is agony: he can feel the guilt’s full force curling in his stomach. Lucas is suddenly self-conscious, he wants the floor to swallow him up. His steps are hesitant. He stops a few feet away from Eliott. Wanting to hug him.

“Can I come in?” His words are stilted, coated in uncertainty.

“Why are you here?” Eliott looks tired.

“I want to talk.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t budge a single inch.

Looks like Lucas is going to have to do this here. In the hallway. Where any number of people can just walk by. At least Eliott hasn’t shut the door in his face.

“I’m sorry. For shutting you out, refusing to talk to you. For being mean,” At this, Eliott’s composure starts to falter, Lucas understands then that his annoyed posture was all an act, possibly an attempt to guard himself from hurt, and that nicks at his heart a little. “For walking out earlier, I should have stayed. I’m just really sick of feeling vulnerable all the time, I feel like I can’t catch a break and then I take it out on you by being cold.

“I saw my father last week, unintentionally, he was at uni and it’s the first time since he left that I’ve laid eyes on him. It brought back all the shame and humiliation. I wanted to walk up to him, like I’ve imagined doing multiple times over the years and confronting him, but all I could do was run the other way. I hate that this man still has this power over me. Anyway, that’s not the point, the point is that I hurt you-”

Eliott is stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Lucas, pulling him into his apartment and holding him against the door.

“Please don’t be mad.” Lucas’ voice comes out muffled against Eliott’s chest.

“I’m not mad. The truth is I’d rather be annoyed by you than not have you at all. I want to know when you’re in pain and why. And you were, I could see it and it hurt to know you were fighting something on your own. I am so sorry, Lucas.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.”

“Remember what I told you, yeah? You are not alone.”

Lucas’ heart clenches at those words. How does Eliott think of and say things like that, so sincere like it is effortless, like it costs him nothing but the air he breathes to say them.

He pulls back from Eliott, head tilted up against the door. “You need to stop that.”

“Stop what?” Eliott cups Lucas’ face

“Saying those romantic things.”

“And you need to know that you have nothing,” He says fiercely. “To be ashamed about. You are not what happened to you. You are magnificent, and I can’t believe how lucky I am that you choose to be with me.”

“I love you.” The words slip out, Lucas widens his eyes and Eliott is laughing at Lucas’ brazenness. Simultaneously, his eyes shift and brighten, as if Lucas’ confession has changed the very colour of Eliott’s eyes, as if those three words have changed him.

A kiss, soft and tender. ”Not as much as I love you.”

Another kiss just as tender and slow, torturously slow. “Yeah, yeah. Now carry me to your bed, please.”

They stumble there, stripping off their clothes as much as they can while kissing and touching each other. As soon as Lucas hits Eliott’s bed though he is enraptured by the softness of his duvet and pillow and he sighs contentedly.

Eliott looks up from where he was kissing down Lucas’ chest and lets out a disbelievingly laugh when he sees Lucas snuggling into his pillows. He crawls up Lucas’ body until he is caging him in and looking directly down at him. Eliott, straddling Lucas’ hips now, plants a hard, searing kiss on his lips which Lucas is all too happy to reciprocate, clutching Eliott at the hips.

“You are ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously into you.” Lucas winks.

Eliott rolls over, laying his head on Lucas’ chest. “You’re tired.”

“Yeah…Your bed…Morning sex, instead?”

“Sure.”

From his position on Lucas’ chest, Eliott caresses Lucas’ lower stomach, running his fingers lightly over the skin, raising goose bumps in their wake.

Je t’aime.

Moi aussi.

#elu fic #elu #skam france #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #mine #go ahead and watch my heart burn

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