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#you have one fork?????
bishopsmacaroni · 9 months
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“this is not cutlery.”
-Hawkeye S01E05: Ronin
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plush-rabbit · 10 months
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Hole in One
I promised nsfw of him and here it is:)
Word Count: 3K
A/N: I saw art where he has like these fucking tendrils come out of his face hole and I needed that<3
Jonathan has certainly changed after the Super-Collider. Not only was his appearance affected, with his body elongating and compressing, but also features disappearing. However, his personality was also altered. He’s become more possessive, and clingy. He hardly ever allows you to leave your home during your days off. Sure, you have to go and buy groceries and run your errands, but he needs you. 
If you were to be honest with yourself, you like being needed. You adored the attention that he was giving you. You thrived under it, knowing that you were the one that he cared so much for.
So when you come home and he calls for you, touching and rutting against you while you sit on his lap, you roll your hips, feeling yourself leak arousal. It’s been too long since you’ve had any sort of intimacy with him that led to sex. Most intimacy ended right before it got physical, and you knew that would be an issue- he was still insecure about his body- you only had your fingers to pleasure yourself in the shower. Now that he has you on his lap, rutting and whining about how nice and sweet you are to him, you want nothing more than to have anything of him inside of you.
You press your lips to kiss against his jawline, peppering him in soft kisses and letting your hands cup over his chest. His hands find themselves over your hips, going under your shirt to feel your skin.  “I gotta say,” you mumble, “I miss your nipples.” He hisses out your name and you smile as you kiss down his neck. “It’s true. You were always so sensitive-” the pad of your thumb swipes over where they should have been- “always whined and buck when I’d twist them.”
“I wouldn’t whine,” he mewls, looking down at you. Pinching softly as the skin on your stomach, he tilts his head. “I miss being able to kiss you.”
Smiling softly, you press a kiss on the edge of one his spots near the collarbone. “I tried not to bring it up before, but you’re um, kinda flat down there.”
“Huh?”
“You’re missing your dick, Jonny,” you murmur, rimming a hole with the point of your index finger. 
“Oh um-” he clears his throat and the spot on his face divots at the top- “it's in a hole.”
Your brows furrow. “What?”
“Watch.” His hand shots down to his middle, and between the small space that you’ve created, his knuckles bump against your crotch. You roll your hips against his knuckles and he’s polite enough not to say anything. Oh, it really has been a while since you’ve had any sort of action. You watch as a spot forms, swirling and dark, little lines of it rippling around, and you blink and suddenly, you’re staring at his cock. 
With a watering mouth, you realize that it really has been a while. “Fuck Jonathan,” you mumble, trying to keep yourself composed.
“Good or bad?” He asks, uncertainty and insecurity twisted into his words. 
Having to peel your eyes away from his cock, you look up at him. “Mind if I blow you?” He nods rapidly. “Cool.” You kiss at the edge of the spot on his face. 
You sit on your knees, your hands pushing against his thighs to spread his legs. Appearing from the hole, the cock springs upwards, pure white, lacking any kind of spots. There’s a bit of coloration- a light gray that you wonder if it’s supposed to be his own coloration except in monochrome, or if it's blushing. From the hole, his package also exits the spot, resting over the edge. The spot itself is perfectly shaped for him with dark swirling lines around the edge of the hole, but there are no gaps- not an inch of room for you to rim and poke around. 
“You’re bigger than before,” you say in a whisper. Moving closer to his erection, you press your face against it. “A lot bigger.” You can feel your cunt twitch at the thought of him going inside of you. 
He’s looking down at you, his spot dilated and swirling. “You uh- like it?”
It really has been a while for you. You don’t even want to answer him- all that you can think about it putting him in your mouth. His skin is different than before, almost like a latex feel- or rubber. You aren’t entirely sure of the proper comparison but at the moment, it doesn’t matter.
Pressing a kiss against his cockhead, you pull back, swiping a tongue underneath his head. Other than the color and stretched size, it looks exactly like his did before- down to the vein on the underside, the soft curve to it, and the leaking head. You grab at the base of his cock, and he mumbles your names, hands lifting weakly before they fall back to the bed with a thump. Your tongue peeks out and you swipe over the slit, tasting the semen on your tongue.
It still tastes like him.
Oh, you’ve really missed him.
“Can you-” he falters with his sentence- “Please,” he begs.
You open your mouth to him, pushing yourself midway, already feeling his cockhead hit the back of your throat. He’s much longer than before. Pulling away, a thin sheen of spit covers him. Your hand wraps around his base, pumping him, and you return to him, feeling his thighs jolt at the touch. Taking him into your mouth, you can feel how hot and heavy he feels, and he leaks into your mouth, and you greedily swallow it all. 
There’s never been a stronger want than now. You need him. You worship him, suckling him and hollowing your cheeks, desperate as he is to make him cum. Your jeans rub against your crotch, and you can't think how his heavy scent fills your lungs and makes your mouth water. Unbuckling them right now is the least of your concerns when you can just rut against the friction with the thick material. Pulling his cock off of your mouth, it bobs and taps against your face, leaving your spit sticking to your skin. You watch in awe as it reaches well past your face. Even thinking about it going inside of you makes you want to skip the foreplay and just put it in. The sting of it might actually be worth it. 
Pushing yourself back against his cock, you take him again, shivering at how thick even his pre-ejacualtion is. Oh, your poor Jonathan- too pent up for who knows how long. You;d make up for lost time, you’re sure of it. You won’t let go of his cock until the both of you are spent and even then, you’d want him to be buried deep in your cunt, stretching and hitting deep at your core. You moan against him, the thought of him filling you with his seed and keeping it inside of you makes your cunt throb.
Your jaw almost hurts with how you have to push so far down, choking and spit dribbling in the corner of your mouth. But he sounds so good, moaning and panting your name with his hand holding onto the crown of your head. You focus on slurping him, suckling on his cockhead like it would produce you milk, moaning and rubbing yourself against the seam of your pants while he jerks and moans. 
He calls your name, broken and low, his hand fisting into your hair. “I’m gonna- Fuck!” He tilts his head back, bucking his hips into your mouth, his cockhead pushing against the inside of your cheek. “Your mouth- I fucking-” The sound of you gagging echoes in your ears, and you can feel strands of spit spill from your mouth. 
Your hand grasps onto his package, massaging and rolling the pair around in your hand. It feels so heavy in your hands- burning and weighted with pent frustration. Adjusting him in your mouth, your lips circle around the middle of his cock, his seed spilling and filling your mouth. It’s thick, and gooey, resting flat on your tongue and when you lean back, spills past the corner of your lips. Looking up at him, there are tears in your eyes, and your mouth closes, swallowing the seed and letting it burn down your throat. 
As you stand, you can feel how slick your underwear is. It slips and sticks and you need to take off everything. You’re too hot- too aroused to even want to consider giving him a show, but as he looks at you, his cock stays erect, twitching as a gossamer string of cum hangs and drips onto the floor.
Your clothes fall into a pile and he’s looking at you with his spot swirling and erratic, and you can’t help but smile. Oh, that has to be a good sign.  There’s fleeting spots of gray that stretch over his face, and you’re pulled on the bed. 
Laying on the bed with your legs bent, you watch as he dips his face down. The hands on your legs squeeze, and you suck in a breath through your teeth. You can feel his face nuzzle against your thighs, soft little upwards strokes that lead down to your cunt. 
A hand lets go of you, and you wait, and wait, the anticipation killing you and making you throb. You think about calling his name, wanting him to do something other than just stare at you. Something wet slicks against your cunt, and you yelp, body lifting and skin crawling with goosebumps. It’s wet and feels slimy- a feeling that you aren’t totally opposed to. His tongue- you think it’s his tongue- slides around your cunt.
“I’m sorry! I just- I wanted to try- Are you okay?” He peeks his head up from between your thighs.
“I uh- No, no. That was just a surprise. Keeping going,” you say breathlessly.
Your hands fist into the cover and you feel him lap at your cunt. It oozes over you, thin and viscid, snaking down the inside of your thighs to the bedsheets. You buck your hips. Gasps and moans fill the room, and you need him to keep going. His tongue zigzags over your cunt in fat strides, the point of it liking upwards around your hardened clit. Your hands find themselves at your breasts, pulling and twisting at your nipples. 
He does such a good job with whatever he’s using. 
“Fuck, Jonathan!” You yelp, lifting your hips when something else laps at your cunt, when something smaller and thinner teases at the edge of you, dipping in to feel you clench around him, but pulling away with ease. “No- Fuck, inside, please,” you moan, bucking your hips.
It doesn’t feel like it’s his hands, and it can’t be his hands because they’re holding your thighs, stretching and pushing them away. You don't have much time to think about it when your clit is rubbed with the flat of his tongue. 
Something wet is against your crotch and you aren't sure what it is, it feels like it's a lot- thick and slimy. You grind against his face with stuttering hips and a twitchy cunt. Wet, clicking sounds fill the room, his tongue working you into a frenzy, scuttling around your heat, and his face buries deeper as if he can’t get close enough, as he has to be in you- or you in him considering how his holes work. He eats like a starving man which isn’t completely untrue- and he’s simply lapping and swiping at your sex. 
Gasping and panting, you keen at how close you are, and in what is the cruelest he has ever been, he pulls away. You look up to see something slither back into his face hole, and he’s shining in your arousal, and his spit. 
Your face is flushed and eyes squinted in frustration. “Jonathan,” you wail, a hand shooting down to finish the job yourself. Except a hole stops you, and your hand shows up on the other side of the room, reaching for you, and grabbing for nothing. “Jonathan-”
“I wanna feel,” he says, grabbing at the base of his cock, and swiping it up your cunt. His head touches at your clit, and a jolt causes you to arch your back. He slides it back down and his cock enters you.  You pull your hand back, fisting when you feel him.
His hands find themselves back at your legs and he bends them, letting your cunt stretch and you feel him push further into you. Hands grips below your knees, and your hands bend to rest beside you. His thrusts are heavy and strong, and he’s bent over, looking into you as you whine and writhe under him. 
Frantically, he’s burying himself deep, and you can feel it all- every twitch of his cock, the way that it stretches and makes you want to cry that it’s far too much, but you’re unable to speak, too lost on the feeling of him finally being inside of you to actually think clearly. He ruts into you, and you stare at the hole in his face. He’s so much bigger than he was before, towering over you, having to hunch himself over to keep you at face level. He’s unforgiving, whimpering and cursing under his breath. He bullies your cunt, and it’s clear that he really needed this- that he needed you. You can hear soft gasps, and moans that sound deep and strained, and you think you see his hole twitch and spasm when you call his name. 
“Jonathan,” you mewl, tilting your head backwards. “‘S feels so good.” Your words are simple, mind hazy and muddled as the man before you slams his hips against yours. Sex is nothing like it was before, and you think it has to do with whatever built up pressure the two of you have had. You arch your back, your body shaking and squeezing against him as an orgasm crashes through your body. “More, more,” you plead, your hands reaching to grasp at his forearms, clawing at his skin. You don’t now why you waited to fuck him- you wouldn’t have if you knew that he was this needy and pent-up. 
The spot on his face is enlarged and swirling. Staring it feels too much- like you’re going to get sucked into it and never come out. You wonder if his holes feel good too. Reaching a hand, you swirl it around one near the crook of his elbow. He thrusts into you sharply, groaning and bending his head down. 
“You feel so good,” he laments. Something jolts inside of you- he sounds off, echoey and deeper. “Love how you feel.” he thrust into you and you gasp, fluttering your eyes close as he bullies your cervix. Through fluttering blinks, you watch as his jolts and the spots stretch over, almost encasing part of his shoulder in black. You wheeze and close your eyes when he pushes himself deeper into you. “‘S all mine.” You feel something wet drip on your chest and when looking, it comes out of his face hole in thick, dark drops. “I wanna be deep inside of you.”  He speaks in a guttural voice as he rocks his hips into you. 
There’s a knot in your stomach that tightens with every thrust, and you whine and moan, twisting and jittering as he pistons into you. You can’t bring yourself to speak, only moaning and wailing the closer that you get, the more that he fucks you in a way he hadn’t before. 
“Never wanna let you go.” You return the sentiment by clamping around his cock. “I wanna fuck you,” he slurs, giving short, quick thrusts into you. “Fuck you till you’re full.”
His spots swirl and move and the way that he speaks isn’t his voice, but an echo of it, devoid of emotion, only hunger and possession that lays mixed into the vowels and constants. You really do think you’re going to be sucked into him with how serious he is. 
Your body shakes and stutters as you reach your high, clamping around his cock, whining and clawing your nails into him to keep him close to you. 
“Where?” He asks, his voice melding to sound more like him. “I wanna- Where?” He calls your name, weakly and shakily pushing himself inside of you. His body jolts and twitches, the hands on your squeezing and scratching your skin. “Can I cum inside?” He lowers himself, resting his forehead against your own. “Please. I wanna so bad,” he mumbles. 
“Inside, please,” you mutter,  reaching up to kiss at his skin that burns under your touch. “Wanna feel full.” It’s enough to set him off, chasing his high, fucking you through your own. You squeal, legs twitching and body feeling as if it's on pins.
Even as he reaches his high, he doesn’t relent- his thrusts get sloppy, but they still hold the heaviness to them. It’s like he’s making sure that when he spills into you is going to be too buried inside of you to even leak out.
Past the twitching and calling of your name, he lets his cock warm inside of you, pulling out with a groan as if leaving you is too painful to even do. He lays beside you, his cock twitching against his thigh, leaking a thick cream that can barely be distinguished from his own skin. He takes heavy breaths, fingers dancing over the bedsheets in an attempt to calm down. 
You turn over, resting your hand over his. the middle of your thighs feel wet, and sticky. It leaks down and leaves a trail of warmth. His spots are smaller, back to his regular size, and while they move, they aren’t as erratic as they were before.
“That was good,” you tell him. “Fuckin’ good.”
“Mhm,” he agrees with a high-pitched voice. “Really good,” he agrees in a breathless voice. “Think we can go again?”
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spywhitney · 6 days
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How I sleep knowing I'll never trust anyone that hates Sydney but worships Richie:
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#the bear#the bear fx#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto#richie jerimovich#jk kind of#well on days I don't see or think about Sydney haters#under every damn comment section in this fandom is someone saying Sydney didn't take accountability#like I know we all have our biases but yall are really shameless about it#Sydney scored A LOT of Ws for The Beef AND The Bear#but one time she makes a mistake and justifiably walks away from a toxic work environment she's the devil#Richie worked at The Beef for years and Sydney did more for it in what less than four months than he did#on top of being a prick to Sydney in particular because she was changing things he wanted to keep the same#to the detriment of the restaurant but also everyone#and overall being unpleasant to Carmy#Nat and anyone that didn't find him funny or interesting or like his bs#pre-Forks Richie reminds me of those types of people that only listen to people that like them#and I love that because it's realistic to some ppl#I do like Richie#it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth knowing there are people that hate Sydney#ignore her accomplishments only to raise up Richie#in the same breath when the actual show is showing you what's up#like you'd think there were different versions of the show with how these two are perceived#I get this weird need to defend Sydney when people shit on her because I wonder how often said people treat the Sydneys of the world#but that aside#In Fishes Richie mentions something about wasting potential at the beef#In Ceres it's implied he called the popo on the dealers after Sydney deescalated a situation Richie previously dealt with#in an unorthodox manner#he recognised he needed to change but still was an arsehole to the one person who was facilitating that change effectively Sydney#this show is great but people denying what they're seeing on their own screens is crazy
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Yusei is just....so kidnap-able.
Hear me out.
Man either has bad tinnitus or just out-right hearing loss from years of working on engines with zero ear protection. We know this for two reasons: 1. When he's working on his bike and revs the engine, Saiga, Yanagi, and Himuro all flinch and cover their ears and Yusei...doesn't so much as bat an eye. and 2. When he's leaving to steal his bike back, Saiga hears when Ushio revs his engine from inside a building on the second story and Yusei? Normally when one hears an engine on an otherwise deserted street, one naturally turns to see the source of the noise. Yusei does not. The street is freaking empty, and somehow he doesn't notice the only vehicle that is clearly going slow enough to not pass him by. (And it's not like Ushio is just too far away to hear. He's not. He's shown to be not that far behind. And he's on a freaking loud motorcycle. Most people would notice that.)
Look, we all know Yusei would win in a fight, but not if he doesn't notice his assailant sneaking up behind him because he can't hear them before he gets whacked in the head.
In conclusion, it is very little wonder that he ends up getting kidnapped in canon.
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having sensory problems is tough because how to i tell my stepdad that i want to throw a brick at him for having a snack in the same room as me-
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floatyhands · 2 months
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I'm so annoyed when people are like "Harvey Dent chose to go evil, he gave up on morality once the world hurt him". Bro. Since Eye of the Beholder, Two-Face at his best is when he's written as someone who has been always fighting. He had been fighting to keep a hold on that morality, to believe the world isn't rigged cruelty or heatless chance, to not let the trauma of his painful upbringing keep him down, to fight for a better Gotham. His passion for the law was him searching for order in the chaos of chance. Sure, he lost that battle, but he fought! If anything, he lost BECAUSE he fought in an incredibly self-destructive way. His attachment to the law and criminal justice only added stress to his mind and made him repress his mental scars instead of heal. The fall into villainy after the acid-scarring was not a man letting go, it was a man seeing the ledge he was hanging on by the fingernails crumble and give way. To say he chose this shit is like saying a depressed person gave up and let depression win.
This is especially annoying if you take into account Two-Face's entire comic book history, where when he initially appeared, he recovered and went on to be a completely law-abiding citizen. Except, Two-Face was too popular a concept, so first they had to bring the impostors who framed Harvey, then when that didn't stick, they scarred his face again and brought Two-Face right back. And since then, it's just been poor Harv getting dragged around the revolving door in and out of villainy, with him recovering and then some horrible thing happens to him that reawakens his, or the darker alter's, violent impulses. Or worse still, they have Harvey always be terrible. That he was always a two-faced villain deep down, and the scar simply brought it to the surface. They kill his good side off, in favour of making him a two-bit gangster with a coin flip gimmick. How could he not blame fate for his villainy? The hand of fate, the hand of the writers, always drag him back to villainy rather than let the Antihero seeking redemption idea stick.
Perhaps that's changed in recent years, I haven't been keeping up. But don't you ever say that Harvey Dent didn't fight.
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dol-dee · 18 days
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Fallen Sydney is definitely the type that enthusiastically buys all sorts of kinky outfits. For themself as much as their s/o haha
Sydney buying a bunch of outfits she really wants to see on Dee. Forgetting she will have to convince/beg her for weeks to actually wear them
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For your modern avatar au What if spider has some sort of respiratory diseases, or other chronic inflammatory lung or obstructive lung diseases. Because he has to were a oxygen mask in the movie.
Alright here is my answer finally @peachycrime
Okay, unfortunately my first thought was the fucking 2001 comedy/romance Bubble Boy, so that's cool.
Luckily for you I've been in the reddie fandom hardcore since 2016 so WE KNOW ABOUT ASTHMATIC HEADCANONS IN THIS HOUSE.
I think I'd pick like severe asthma because it just jives for me, but if you wanna go crazy we could really have a fucking Fault in our Stars/Five Feet Apart moment here. Really lean into locorro or spiri here.
-Spider lived with Norm for years because he was the foster parent they had with the most medical experience, but eventually he just was LIVING with Jake and Neytiri .
-Stay at home wheelchair dad Jake Sully with his three little kids under three had none of the attention or free time to dedicate to a kid with medical issues, but him and work from home Norm become a seamless team in the kids toddler years.
-Neytiri had just finished her residency so she was simply flawless with him. He's pretty much a normal kid, he's just got bad asthma. He does all physical activity he can, but he gets out of breath quickly and has to stop for a puff or two before he can get back out there.
-Neteyam is younger but they're in the same grade because Spider got held back because he was so lil because he was a sick kid before Neytiri and Norm got a hold of him.
-He carries around an inhaler and Neteyam also carries around an inhaler because Neteyam may be younger but he is so protective of Spider and so worried about him losing his breath when they are at school and their parents aren't around.
-Tonowari and Jake meet at the playground on a Saturday and all of a sudden Jake is an after-school care, watching his own four kids and Ao'nung and Tsireya (and neighborhood latchkey kid Rotxo who Spider loves because he was also a latchkey kid).
-Ao'nung gets mad at Spider during a game of pickle where they are both the taggers because Spider stops to tag a puff. Ao'nung insists he has to keep going and Spider does and ends up passing out.
-He's not allowed to run or do anything strenuous for two days and Ao'nung is grounded by Ronal for a week. Neteyam and Kiri don't talk to him for a day. He feels really bad though and after that he yells at any kid who tries to get Spider to do anything physical at school until a teacher has to call home and they all have to have a chat lol.
-Neytiri and Norm we're absolutely unbearable for days, hovering over him and making him drink water, while Jake was treating Spider exactly the same. They are disability buddies and Jake would never treat Spider as fragile because he isn't. In fact, they played catch later that night even though Spider was sitting down and it gave Neteyam an aneurysm.
-Lo'ak always explains to strangers that his brother is cool he just has "shit lungs" because he heard Jake say that one time.
-Reddie moment: "Spider Sully Blasts Off!" every time he uses his inhaler.
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roseverdict · 5 months
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don't cry. pour a small-seeming serving of any pasta noodle you'd like in a deep microwave-safe bowl, just barely cover the noodles with water, microwave for roughly 2 minutes 30 seconds, stir, microwave for 2 more minutes, carefully drain the pasta water from the pasta, liberally mix shredded non-mozzarella cheese into the hot noodles, and pour small amounts of milk in (maaaybe a school milk carton's worth or two at most) to taste and to make it creamier, okay?
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angeltannis · 10 days
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TRAGIC that so much of Frey’s cringe is lost on Cuff because he assumes it’s just how Earth people are
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Hey all! So if you didn't see it yesterday there is a new Wingfeather trailer for season 2! It's pretty epic!
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There's also a new season 2 poster in their shop, and since it has Peet on it I bought it immediately even though I really don't have extra money to spend this week. xD It also has what I think is the first official/finished look at Maraly?!? (the character, not my kitten) As well as the Fork Factory, Claxton Weaver and the Overseer. 👀👀
https://shop.angel.com/pages/wingfeather
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Season 2 covers the first half of book 2 and is releasing sometime this year!
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yunyin · 8 months
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Leek and Potato Soup
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So bit random but I really like this soup (just made/ate it again) and I thought I would share just in case anyone else wants to give it a try!
The most tedious part is washing the leeks but it's worth it imo.
Written recipe: https://www.food.com/recipe/potage-parmentier-potato-leek-soup-julia-child-270731
This guy makes some pretty fun cooking videos, too!
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"eleanor rigby" is certifed m2 song to me & i don't want to hear anything
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whale-in-that-case · 2 months
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Hey, don't cry ok? Spread a couple handfuls of peeled walnuts on an oven baking sheet and roast at 180°C for about 5minutes, then crush into a paste with a few tablespoons of maple syrup or brown sugar. Keep in a jar in the fridge and eat on bread or pancakes.
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chocobox · 3 months
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this is also kind of personal (yeah, i know, somehow too personal for this blog. kinda shit you tell one person and MAYBE a therapist.) but arthur has been the first person capable of breaking me out of some real nasty habits. it's not perfect, but it's the first time i've ever made headway in addressing the issue and it makes me really really emotional. i love him so much
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crysdrawsthings · 1 year
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Something-something, constant stream of cultural shock going both ways. And this is not even getting into Deer's favorite hobby of sticking her nose into every cursed tomb she can find.
Bonus sketch out of the sensible batch
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