#you can follow me there too!
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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I get that calling white lotus lbh a sticky little 'sheep' is a canon translation and stuck in the fandom now anyway, but I do feel the intended spirit of the original word wasn't the sheeple/dumb herd animal that's more common in the western world, but instead something actually conveying sweetness, innocence, purity and youth - lamb.
Famous for being utterly adorable and following around their mothers, gambolling in sunny meadows, curly white wool shining.
And NOW we can talk about black sheep/wolf in sheep's clothing metaphors.
#Picturing Sqq sweetly calling lbh a little lamb 🥺#Him calling lbh a sheep never felt quite right but LAMB???#And lbh following him around all bright and gangly and moon eyed ToT#Did you know the phrase originates from the wool of black sheep being much harder to dye and thus being undesirable in the wool industry?#That's why sheep are white and not like. Tan or brown or w/e like more natural colours.#But the black fur gene still pops up sometimes so you get white wool parents and siblings and a tiny black lamb trotting along#Who's wool you can never sell and who can't risk having offspring of their own#Also where the baa baa black sheep rhyme comes from! The wool was often sold at a very cheap price because it was so undesirable!#Ngl if someone called me their lamb idk what I'd do. Something desperate for sure#Theyre also sometimes a symbol for Jesus especially around Easter. So. That's a. Thing. That Sqq would most certainly read far too deep int#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#luo binghe#luo bingge#luo bingmei#scum villain's self saving system#scum system#bingqiu#bingyuan#Idk but considering I'm talking about their pet names I'll count it#Gosh lbh calling Sqq shepherd in response... Crook around his neck metaphor I'll go wherever you lead us my guiding star mmm#Sleepy? Yes. Right? Also yes
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it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)
#HELLO back at it again#tug introduced groundbreaking new findings about soul permeability but my mind bypassed all that in favour of this au#the division of labour is as follows:#dulcie reads the instructions; snacks; and changes the radio station every time she doesn’t like a song#if you complain she will remind you she's literally dying. life is too short and mediocre songs are too long#pal gets stuff from high shelves and battles his constantly fogged up glasses#he tried to help with prep once and promptly got himself banned from using knives for the rest of his life#cam does 98% of the actual cooking#trivia section -#you can tell i am new to this because i arranged them in the wrong speaking order. let’s all practice our right to left reading#cam has a silly novelty apron because a) the idea was unbearably funny to me and b) i need to spread the gospel (aroace cam)#the cookbooks next to dulcie are ‘a few teaspoons of salt’ (by ianthe tridentarius)#and ‘saintly feasts: food for saints and scholars’ which is a real book! though not written by cassiopeia the first#*#dulcie septimus#dulcinea septimus#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#the locked tomb#field sketches#<< i get to have an art tag now!
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oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’
Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.
Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.
They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.
Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?
#:(#it’s like what can you do#as a black person I get why sm black bloggers here have ‘don’t follow me if you’re white’ in their bios#they’ll call it racist or whatever (it’s fucking not you guys just treat black ppl like shit here and most of us feel unsafe to interact#with y’all. you guys always turn on us at the drop of a hat)#i remember commenting on a HS post funny enough years ago#because the punchline of the post was literally the white mfs saying nigga#and I was so annoyed that I told them off and one of my white mutuals unfollowed meanjsjsjsl#like right after that#and another unfollowed me because I talk about racism and the like a lot like this is a really well known artist too so I was like 🧍🏾♀️?#because I talk about racism a lot??? it’s weird lol#like they’ll tolerate you for a while then when they feel offended they start to act weird and act like you’re not supposed to talk about#the stuff that effects you#tkf replies#karmelarts#they don’t give a shit about anything if it doesn’t personally Involve them#they act like they can’t relate to anyone or anything it they aren’t marginalized themselves (being gay or trans which they treat as a#personality trait)#notice how you never see movies/ shows about black and brown ppl trending here? it’s always white centered shit no#matter how hot and popular that show might be#you’ll never see something like the wire snowfall or power trending here#all of the black ppl are on twitter anyway so#sm black ppl got ran off of here by annoying white ppl
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Shen Jiu should make dark jokes about his time as a slave but no one gets the jokes coz everyone thinks he is a spoilt young lord from a noble family.
(Except, Yue Qingyuan. He gets it. He is currently screaming, wailing inside coz sometimes SJ is a bit too detailed JUST to make him feel even MORE guilty.)
#qijiu shenanigans#qijiu#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#svsss crack posts#svsss#can you imagine if yqy gets too frustrated at one if those “jokes”#and he just mutters “its not like my sword was eating me” a bit too loud#deadly silence follows#“WHAT THE FUCK?!”#“Xiao Jiu plz calm down!! You're on the verge of qi deviation!!” *starts panicking*#“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND MYSELF!!!”#“Please! Don't kill yourself!”#liu qingge was about to visit zhangmeng shixiong but after hearing all the ruckus from a distance#he thought to himself “Not. Today.” and flew back
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HIII can u do the prompt number 5 for floyd pls :D (romantic)
Also i saw that you eanted ppl to put 2 backup characters and prompts so my backup characters are lilia and leona and my backup prompts are the fairytale scene and the taste of salt :D (also romantic)
Take ur time and ty ! 😍
Tandem Bike; Floyd Leech
Content; Fluff, gender-neutral reader, established relationship
Content Warning; Swearing(?), semi-serious mortal peril /hj
Word Count; 650+
Author's Note; I hope you know how to ride a bike, cuz Floyd is no help in the matter! Hope you enjoy!
As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Floyd,” you gulped, looking down the hill.
Floyd laughed behind you on the tandem bicycle, and you could feel the bike reverberate from it. “Ehhh, are ya scared?~”
You dug your heels into the ground, making sure that the both of you wouldn’t end up going down the hill without knowing where you were going. The last thing you needed was to hit a pothole or a big enough rock and end up getting hurt. “Not scared,” you huffed, “just thinking.”
Floyd rolled his eyes, “We’ll just be up here all day then! Come on, Shrimpy.” He nudged your feet, but you dug your feet in further, cementing the bike into place. Floyd sighed and slumped his head on your shoulder. “You were the one that wanted to ride this thingy, but now you’re gettin’ cold feet about it?”
You took in a deep breath. Yes, it was your idea to take the cute tandem bike you found in the shed out for a spin, but your cycling partner had never ridden a bike before, and you also didn’t want to crash. “Just give me a minute, okay.” You clenched your hands on and off the brakes.
Floyd just looked at you curiously, before a wild smile took over his face. And when you eased up on the brakes again, he pushed you both forward. “Minute’s up!~”
And down the hill you went. Being angry could wait for later, as your main concern was making sure you were both staying upright and avoiding the aforementioned potholes and rocks. Floyd was cackling behind you, helping you steer a bit, but mainly just enjoying the wind wiping up his hair and watering up his eyes. And eventually, you started slowing down, coming to a more manageable pace that didn’t leave your hands clenching for dear life on the handlebars. But once you came to a complete stop you exploded in laughter; a mix of relief that you hadn’t died, of pure joy, and the infectious cackle that was coming from behind you.
“See, Shrimpy! That was fun,” Floyd poked you in the back.
You got off the bike, legs a bit shaky from the adrenaline. “Yeah, it was a little bit fun.” Wait, I'm supposed to be mad at him! You could never stay mad at him for very long though.
Well, gravity is a thing, a thing that Floyd was not accounting for, and he wasn’t supporting the bike up, so he and the bike tumbled to the ground. And instead of sulking, he just laughed and got right back up.
“Wanna go again?~ This time I’ll steer!” He laughed, and hugged you, squeezing you gently.
You let out a long sigh, decompressing. “No, absolutely not,” you pushed against him slightly so you could put your hands on his shoulders.
Floyd pouted, “You’re no fun ya know.” There was no bite, he was just being pouty since he was planning on making you shriek as you both had no idea where you were going, but downhill, and downhill fast.
You hummed, kissing his cheek to bring him out of the dour mood. “And you’re no fun if you can’t go on little adventures with me. Can’t do that if we crash on that cursed thing,” you pointed your chin at the bike.
Floyd looked briefly at the bike before turning his attention back to you. “Okay, okay, okay, I got the memo, Shrimpy…” He placed a quick kiss and bite on your lips before pulling back with a wink, taking a look at his handy work.
You could feel the slight sting. His bite wasn’t sharp enough to draw blood, but it was enough to make them puffy. “Are you proud of your handiwork?”
“Mhm!~” Floyd pressed another kiss to your lips, but this time it was gentle, soothing the stinging sensation.
And you bit his lip back, deciding that you deserved some sweet vengeance.
Floyd pulled back, and the shocked look on his face turned into pure glee and he was doubled over laughing again. “Damn, Shrimpy! I should do that more often!~”
Wait, what?
~~~~~~~
Tags: @azulashengrottospiano, @eynnwwyjth, @hydra-sea, @identity-theft-101, @krenenbaker, @officialdaydreamer00, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii
#dove does events#follower event#twst#twst x reader#twst x gn reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x gn reader#floyd leech#floyd leech x reader#floyd leech x gn reader#sha la la la my oh my! go on and ~kiss da eel~#we all know he would fucking bite reader's lips since he's a tall lil shit#also rip if you don't know how to ride a bike cuz neither does floyd; just pretend that you can for this [i can't ride a bike; we would die#red!#a first-time requester too! i can deliver more goods if you don't eat my damn cats. if you're nice and polite to me; you get treats#i don't really have much else to say; but i'm happy that i got to use the tandem bike prompt for floyd
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yeah so i'm falling for @weevmo's Guys... they're so neat! i dig their vibes and can't wait to see what Corduroy Stew is all about <3
#fuckkkkk theyre so SHAPED!!!#i can feel myself getting So attached#if anything happens to them... i will simultaneously wail and cheer#nimrod is so cute. nimmy. the nimster. id love to toss birdseed on the ground for him to peck at. pigeon coded tiny man#lulu being a sock puppet trainer THATS SUCH A NEAT IDEA ARE YOU KIDDING IM OBSESSED#now im curious as to if sock puppets are like Animals or if they're as sapient as the others...#but yes im already looking directly at lulu she seems Fun as fuck#oughhhhh and wb. listen. Listen. im a sucker for handsome Head Empty characters and he seems like one of those#i also like characters with many hidden internal problems and wb seems like one of those too <3#i hear that the three of them are siblings and that is Such catnip to me...#scribble garnish#dont know what else to tag this as! huh!#BUT YEAH THIS ALL SEEMS NEAT THEYRE COOL i Will be following this project to see where it goes#so far it has great characters a sprinkling of Intrigue bomb art (which. ofc it does its weevmo cmon guys)#and a neat song that i sweAR TO FUCK REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS#the jingle is just vaguely familiar enough to make me Writhe in the agony of Unknown Knowns#but yes! i hope you all go check out weevmo's blog if you havent already! Good Stuff All Around!!
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2023 year in review with hyunjin [it’s a wrap] 🎉
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#*with hyune#they are not positioned as they came. i wanted to match him with the hyunpics 🥹#this is not nearly half of the shit they did this year#but a girl can only add so many pics.#2023 marking the year i could actually see u live too.. is crazy it’s so sosososo crazy and it still brings tears to my eyes#waited for it so much and for so long and it blew my expectations away 😣#i keep being so hooked on u year after year and it hasn’t changed at all this year too..#ig im just in this hyunjin shaped ride for life#ilu… i wish i could thank you personally for saving me every year 👍🫠#also happy new year to mutuals and all the other followers 💘 i love u and i appreciate u all and i hope#all the good an lovely things come#to your way in 2024 💖 let’s all assemble in europe when skz comes here heh#<- this is me manifesting.
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lol I did it first
#invincible spoilers#invincible#i understand production times and the script would have been written and everything recorded ages ago guys#but still makes me laugh a bit#glad they gave her more to do in the levy confrontation#not sure how I feel about 'she totes evil in all other dimensions too' but I mean#whatever I doubt we're going to get any follow up on that from her end#tho alt marks running into her and still being mamas boys w her around would be hilarious#like oh want me to kill this guy for you mom? : ) oh haha honey no lets go uh... keep them alive so they can suffer instead?#Debbie Grayson#Angstrom Levy
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This election day, I'm thinking of my Nana.
I'm thinking of how as a young woman, she fled political violence in her native Colombia to build a new home in a more stable country. I'm thinking about how she lived a long life, but not long enough to see her home country elect its first ever progressive president (just a few months ago!).
Coincidentally, I was living in Colombia at that time (in the very city she grew up in), and I was able to witness what felt like a miracle. A very conservative country, suffering from the violent inheritance of colonization and catholic invasion and the war on drugs, against a backdrop of the dangerous global rise of the far right--this unlikely country managed to elect one of the most progressive heads of state in the world, in 2022. That's a pretty big deal.
And I'm thinking about this, this election day, because that election was won by a very thin margin. I'm thinking about how it almost didn't happen. I'm thinking about how it was only possible thanks to the highest voter turnout in 20 year. And I am thinking about the countless number of voters who chose to vote for the first time. I am thinking of the poorest and most disenfranchised citizens who showed up at the polls. I am thinking of the indigenous women who rode 12 hours on public buses to vote at the 'nearest' polling stations. I am thinking of all the money and corruption that went into preventing minority citizens from voting, and I'm thinking about how they showed up in the millions and voted anyway.
I am thinking that I would like to see a miracle like that in my own home country.
So if you're on the fence about waiting in line today to cast your vote, I hope that you will think--about the country you want to live in, the future you hope will unfold, and about all of the people it takes to make a miracle.
Because history may deem us nameless and faceless, but when we show up en masse, we are the ones who make history happen.
And yes, maybe also spare a thought for my Nana. Who was in fact a very angry and judgemental woman who supported the republican party for 50+ years, and who would be turning in her grave right now (if the family hadn't had her cremated). Think about the mean angry ghost of my Colombian grandmother, who very much wants you to not show up at the polls to support abortion and other sinful progressive values. Think about her. Do it for her. Do it for Nana.
#Do it! for her#not a shitpost#serious post#politics#ask to tag#I love you Nana but i disagree SO vehemently with almost all of your personal political and religious values#also you should have treated my mom SO MUCH BETTER when she was a kid. all of your kids really#i see you very much as a victim of religious trauma & childhood poverty#followed by the cultural isolation of being a first generation immigrant with no local hispanic community to provide support#plus the failure of late 20th century mental health care almost certainly compounded by medical sexism#recognize sympathize and am indignant on your behalf for all of those reasons and more#but that truth can also coexist alongside the truth that#hot DAMN Nana you and Papa very much failed to provide your children with an emotionally safe and stable environment in which to grow#and me and my sibs are still dealing with the generational trauma#and who knows how many of my cousins. I HAVE TWENTY-ONE COUSINS AND I DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THEM#that is too many cousins to not be in contact with any of them#(and fyi that's on *one* side of the family. on the other side are a dozen half-aunts-and-cousins I've never met#because Other Grandpa was a Certified Piece of Shit)#Anyway. ANYWAY...#apparently i really needed to overshare today. know what? no judgement. judgement free zone#i have no judgement thoughts or opinions i am finally FREE#........gosh that sounds so relaxing#ANYway#yeah. break the cycle of abuse or your descendants will grow up and critique your parenting choices on third-tier social media platforms#when people say 'they will always be remembered' at a funeral--that is a THREAT#what they actually mean is 'OH HONEYBUN YOU DONE FUCKED UP'#.........i want that in my eulogy actually
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Ay. An offer; one doodle of lovelie for the price of answering my question 🦅
Eh? Eh?— Anyways my question is; what’s an art tip you can give that really helped you? Anything special when drawing or do you just have a hand of god?
(Btw your one of my favorite artists and I love seeing your work homie, number 1 inspo fr. Keep on cookin 🦅💞)
WAHHH THEY LOOK SO SCRUNGLYYYY (despite his many, m a n y crimes)
#Also art tips?#One of them is don't follow some of my footsteps they are unhealthy LMAOOOO#Like me pushing through despite my artblock? Very unhealthy it can lead to a unhealthy relationship with art#Ya deserve breaks when your mind and body tells you you need it! Art should be a comforting experience!#No matter how long it takes smhh#I remember my partner had a really bad art block for like a year but they are still going strong with their art! Never feel discouraged!#Also another one is sometimes a messier lighter sketch is better for more dynamic pieces#If ya work too hard on your base it can lead to your piece feeling flat and too stiff#Go crazy go stupid! You might be surprised with what you can accomplish!#Don't be afraid to go outta your comfort zone with art stuff! You might find details you quite enjoy! HUZZAH!#Also also I fuggin love the liddol beetle doodles on the side of her LMAO SO TEENSY TINY#I'M SO HAPPY YA GAMERS ENJOY MY DUM LIDDOL ARTS IM JUST A LIL GUY BDJDJDJDJD;;;;
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the silly...
taken from this post from the spiderversemovie account on instagram
#i'm like very deranged over the boy. he is my everything#give me one blurry pixel of him and i will juice the hell out of it until i go into pavitr withdrawal again#i miss my son#the only reason i follow this account is because i am delulu and think i can get a pavitr short film or some shit if i beg hard enough#it is not working. please help me#i feel like the meme where the guy goes “hello. how are you. i am under the water. please help me. here too much raining weahaahah T-T”#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#atsv pavitr#atsv#across the spiderverse#agnirambles
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Horse Yaoi trotted so Horsegirl Yuri could fly.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#equineswap au#wei wuxian#lan wangji#little apple#xiao pingguo#lan wunian#This is the first and second kiss I've ever drawn. And its horse yaoi and horsegirl yuri. Wouldn't want it any other way tbh.#And with that...Horse week has come to a close#Not the end of this AU mind you; I'll still throw some doodles in here & there and reblog any fanart#The concept behind this was to make something with the vibes of that one picture with the guys holding girls up on their shoulders#so the girls can kiss. And the guys are kissing too. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.#Maybe one day I'll draw the unswapped version. Ill flip a coin to decide whether or not wangxian are carrying their equines or riding them#Thank you all so much for the extremely enthusiastic reception to my equineswap AU#The love for both sides of the swap has blow me away. These designs have been sitting around for a while and I wasn't sure I'd post them.#In the end it became a way to celebrate a follower milestone *and* this blog's 3 month anniversary#also...It has been a hard few weeks and I needed something light and fun. I really mean it when I say “you guys helped me pull through”#Love you all B'*)
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#poipole#this doesn't look like a pokémon at all. this looks like some alien from a kids' cartoon that's like. trynna take over the world or smth#once again i know NOTHING about this thing and constantly forget that it exists. fake pokémon fan etc etc#side note: if anyone is looking for a super awesome and talented voice actress to voice in your things… well… heh… me#or if you know anyone who happens to need a voice actress. i would love to Have a job and you all have heard my voice. i can voice good#promise. i'm famous too i have 4500 followers on this blog#genuinely i need a fucking job. help. hire me to voice in your shit i'm begging#i'd been suggested to look for voice acting positions by someone else and i figured this would be the easiest place to go#of all places. just. because there's a lot of you here#so!
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tumblr is to moral ocd what tiktok is to adhd and post
#i gotta be careful what i see. the all or nothing thinking is rampant#its so exacerbated here i only follow like a couple ppl#even if i like someone's content i might not follow them bc if i see something that makes me Think too hard#i'll get stuck in a spiral and i Have to Keep Reading. so i check their shit manually when i can handle it.#even other soc blogs lol sorry guys love yall#anyway sorry i can't think about every issue always forever. no one can but especially not me#when you try to enjoy the internet but the tumblr environment makes your brain beat you with a stick yelling BAD EVIL BAD PERSON#epic crippling empathy moment#ocd mention#moral ocd#ocd scrupulosity#not soc#ocd
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as someone who is ace and entering college years, how has your dating life been as an ace? what other struggles have there been that you have advice for? i dont know any aces or similar around me older or otherwise. thank you for your time and i hope you have an easy day!
Okay this will get a little long so I'll put it behind a cut
Honestly I'm probably not the best person to ask, since I never really...struggled? Not specifically with asexuality or with anything related to it. I can tell you my experiences, though, and you can decide if there's anything worthwhile to take away from it!
I grew up in a house run by science and math. I knew the prefix a- meant without/not and I knew there was heterosexual and bisexual and homosexual, so when young and, importantly, before really ever interacting with other queer folk, I went Ah ha, these are (prefix)(sexual) and so therefore I am asexual (without sexuality), and that was that. That was literally all the thought I gave to it. People had crushes on other people, I didn't have crushes on people, end of story. If, for some reason, I developed a crush on someone, I would deal with it then.
Maybeeeee midway through HS, a very good friend of mine asked me about it, and I said well, some people like everyone the same, and I dislike everyone the same. And she said well, then it sounds like you like everyone the same, that amount is just zero, so that seems like bisexual? (she didn't know the term asexual was an actual sexuality term either at that point, just the biological term for reproduction and, well, I could reproduce theoretically so couldn't be that) And I said well, alright then, and called myself bisexual for the next 6 or 7 years. THEN I found out asexuality is a sexuality not just a mode of reproduction and I said Ah Ha, I was Correct, and that was that again.
So I guess if I was offering advice it would be... you know you. Don't let someone else tell you about you if you think they're wrong. Make up a word if there isn't one. Use a new word if you find one that already exists and fits.
Also, that it's fine to not worry about it. Literally it's fine to just never think about it if you have better things to do. I think a lot of people get really wrapped up in finding the right label and/or "what happens if-" when like... you're not a canned good. You don't need a label. Worry about what-ifs when they come up, don't borrow anxiety if you can help it.
I dated a few people in HS, like... three people I think, and one Almost. One predatory mistake I thankfully recognized (HEY because I had older folks online I could talk to about it!) and got out of quickly, and one hot mess relationship that was a LOT of fun- my boyfriend, Sark, and then his ex-girlfriend, and then I stepped out so they could get back together, and then they said wait no, and invited me back in, and that went on for most of the end of HS, and nearly into college, when I stepped out again (and peacefully, I am still friends with both of them and I married Sark in the end). There was one guy whom I was always, perpetually, extremely fond of, and we hung out a lot, kissed once, and I think we would have had a lot of fun dating, but ultimately it was a near miss that became a fond memory, because we were never in the right place together. Sometimes life does that, and that's okay, too.
In college, I simply didn't date anyone. I had better things to do. I met my best friend, @idkfandomwhatever, online that year (and still talk to her almost daily, sometimes for hours, despite that we are on opposite sides of the world!!), and in person @mishapeep who was the best roomie I ever had (hi!!!!! i love you!!!). I had great friends, I went on a TON of adventures, worked a cool job where I had awesome coworkers, and just all around had a blast learning stuff and napping in sunbeams or on couches at the food court. A couple of guys made passes, and I turned them down because I just wasn't into it, and we remained friends. There was one coworker at my dispatch job that I got along with like a house on fire, and everyone ELSE thought we should be dating, but neither of us ever brought it up- I can't say why he didn't for sure, but I know I never brought it up because I was 85% sure he didn't swing for the right team to date me, which I ALSO never brought up until he found me on facebook years later to tell me about his husband running for local election somewhere. so. again, don't let anyone else tell you what to do lol there was ALSO another guy that I had NO interest in that spent a lot of time around me, but we mostly sat in my bunk watching Queer as Folk, which I KNOW was his first exposure to queer material. I never talked about queer stuff with him otherwise, but I heard from a mutual friend of ours that he's also happily married to his husband. Sometimes just being yourself, openly and without shame about it, does more than you think, even if it's not doing anything directly for you (but it is, it's good for you too).
SINCE college ended, I dated one guy I met through an online game and that was great in person briefly, but ultimately didn't work out because he couldn't be a nice person, another guy I met through the same online game and that didn't work out at ALL in person, and then I started hanging out with Sark and co again. I was on the phone with him driving somewhere, and I said something to the effect of someday you're gonna find a gf and she's not gonna want you to keep going on adventures with your ex, and we won't be able to talk anymore and I had a real recordscratch moment where I realized absolutely NOT on MY watch, I wanted that boy in my life forever actually, and we've been married now for... this is year 8.
I may have landed in a soft place, but I didn't seek it out. I just lived my life and didn't worry about my sexuality or about who I was or wasn't gonna date. When I DID date, I was up front about what I wanted from any of those relationships and part of the problem with the relationships that didn't work out was sometimes that I did not KNOW what I wanted, yet. But, it was IMPORTANT I think, that I gave the chances I did, because I did learn about myself and what I wanted. That's probably the hardest fucking thing to learn, that relationships sometimes happen not because they're likely to be permanent, but because it may be fun or be a way to learn what you do or don't want. Maybe alongside of that, the lesson that it's okay to go "hm, actually this is Not For Me" and exit peacefully whenever possible. But it's okay to give temporary things a shot and see how it goes, even knowing up front it may be temporary (honestly maybe that even takes some of the stress of it off? if you don't have to worry about it being forever, and you don't have to worry about "what if I never experience other things," and you don't worry so much about messing it up so it feels easier to take chances saying and doing stuff you might otherwise consider too risky to ask for etc).
I'm aware I'm lucky that things went pretty smoothly for my entire life so far, insofar as dating or sexuality is concerned. Part of that was definitely because even the worst of the people I dated weren't really all that bad of people. A lot of it was that I just didn't date if I didn't want to. I didn't care about sex, so I didn't have sex for the first time until a few years after college, and only one guy ever pushed the issue at all (the guy in HS I immediately dropped all contact with).
The thing is... I dated or nearly dated like ten people, flirted with countless others (because it's FUN), and the only one I still have regular contact with (not just occasional friendly hellos) is the one I kept at the end.
But the friends I made in college? I kept a lot of those. I still talk to several of my college friends on a regular basis. I have made other friends since, some of whom I talk to every day, some of whom have become irregular contacts I am still fond of. But those bonds are important and the ones you make with your friends from here out do have the potential to span at least huge chunks of your life, if not the entirety of it. If you only take away one thing from this little novel...take that knowledge.
also this has nothing to do with asexuality but for pete's sake find SOME kind of hobby club to be a part of, or make one if there isn't one, follow your stupidest instincts for adventure on occasion (like playing freeze tag frisbee in a lightning storm on the PAC lawn at 11pm until the campus cops show up to make you go home), and take at least one "fuck it this sounds fun" class. Mine was archery at 7am, the only early-morning class I ever took. Worth it, we were all TERRIBLE but god it was awesome.
Good luck out there!
#you are always welcome to come talk if you need to#asks or chats or whatever#I will not always have answers or advice but I can listen#asexuality#asks#stories about ked's life#I'm leaving this rebloggable because I KNOW there are older aces following me#and y'all have got stories to tell too if you want to speak up
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