Castlevania: Curse of Darkness

Legendary Belmont

being in aroace education mode has me all fired up...... one thing i talk about a lot when given the opportunity is Deconstructing How We Think About Relationships - in short, if we put all of our relationships with other people into a pie chart the 'romantic partner' slice is likely to be a very small slice but gets a disproportionate amount of Relationship Infrastructure compared to other categories, such as vocabulary, rituals, attention and narrative scaffolding - entire systems such as dating / finding "the one" / break-ups / the relationship escalator, etc. on the flipside, 'friend' is such a vast category consisting of a plethora of different relationship, all ranging from Friendly Acquantaince to Extremely Close Childhood Friend You Share Everything With, but we have a lot less language and structure for how we think about these relationships even though many of them can be deeply important and intense to us.

the line between romance and friendship is really blurry, maybe even non-existent, but it feels like the way we think about these categories is that Romantic Partner is this one very specific, formalised box of a category, while Friend is a vast and vague landscape where anything can happen - and it's on this free real estate we have built structures like Queerplatonic Partner. the concept has probably existed since forever, along with many other different types of relationships throughout time and cultures, but it's our current attempt at having a Word for it.

are you with me so far? i want to write a blog post about Deconstructing Intimacy.

just putting a CW here that i'm going to say the word sex a lot and touch on the topic of sexual trauma.

one of the very thorny things about This Whole Topic is that sex and sexuality is extremely political. we just do not live in a world where there's any neutral ground to stand on regarding sex. every demographic comes with a lot of assumptions and expectations and moral judgement tied to sexuality. some demographics are desexualised, some are hypersexualised, some are Both At Once, and in addition to that there's lots of stigma, moralizing, pathologizing, and lawmaking. just a whole mess.

so all of That makes it kind of impossible to fully Dethrone Sex. and by dethroning sex i mean stripping it of the baggage it's accumulated in our cultures. Sex Is A Thing You Can Do With Your Body (And Your Mind?). this does not have to make it any less or more meaningful to you than what it already is. what each person considers intimate is very individual. many people find hugging completely inconsequential and will hug anyone at any time, and for some people a hug is A Lot. For some people, sex is a very fun and casual activity, and for others it's Sacred and carries a lot of meaning and a very close bond. sex is intimate - it requires trust and vulnerability.

it is not the only way to achieve trust and closeness, nor the only thing that requires it.

whenever i take the bus somewhere, i trust the bus driver to take me there safely. i put my literal life in a stranger's hands, but it's a very casual affair i don't think about too much. it's not an act of intimacy, just someone doing their job.

i think the way we talk about sexual assault as the evillest most horribly irredeemably worse-than-death thing, and sexual trauma as a unique kind of trauma amongst traumas, is... indicative. and please do not get me wrong, SA is a horrible thing in every way. it's a violation of trust, vulnerability and personal space. it's an abuse of power. those are the things that make it so horrific - but it's not unique.

an abuse of power, a violation of trust and vulnerability, can happen in so many different forms. emotional abuse, non-sexual violence, medical abuse, et cetera - i don't think it's possible to place trauma into a hierarchy from least to most bad. trauma can be incredibly complex and it's different for everyone. if one day the bus driver on a whim decided to drive off a cliff, i think that would severely fuck up my ability to trust other people to drive me around. if i trusted someone with my innermost thoughts that i have never shared with anyone else, and they used them to be cruel to me, that would severely impede my ability to connect with others.

i just... don't think it does anyone any favours to separate sexual trauma from all other trauma - making it seem like sexual trauma is The Worst Trauma Possible You Can Never Heal From, and on the flipside, make it seem like Well Your Non-Sexual Trauma Cannot Possibly Be That Bad.

TRAUMA TOPIC ASIDE, i think the concept of intimacy has a tendency to get flattened into just the one kind. there are many, Many ways for people to be intimate, many activities that require some form of mutual vulnerability or physical contact, but it seems like we're just very used to placing Acts of Intimacy into the Sexual category. kind of like a venn diagram where the two circles are Sexual Intimacy and Non-sexual Intimacy that are largely overlapping. but what if, instead, it's more that Intimacy is a really big circle, and sex is just one of the circles within it?

the way i think this slots into the whole Relationship Infrastructure thing is that We Like To Categorize Things. if we see two people being very intimate in a way that's not explicitly sexual, it's tempting to think ah yes they are in love AND they're having sex, OBVIOUSLY, because they are clearly capable of having that level of trust and vulnerability together. but what if they're not? does that devalue their relationship? does it make them any less close? these are very chewy questions to ask even without bringing shipping discourse into it, and i would prefer Not To because sexuality is political and there is no right answer.

another way this flattening can be frustrating is all the times non-sexual intimacy is treated as Sexual By Proxy. let's say, for example, you're telling a story, and all forms of intimacy within that story get read as metaphors for sex, despite your actual intentions. there's nothing wrong with using metaphors for sex, especially since Sex Is Political and sometimes we gotta be clever about the storytelling - but it can get very messy if people read sexuality between characters who don't have that, especially characters between which it would be very problematic to portray that. we gotta be able to tell stories about all kinds of close relationships, and surely it should be possible without bringing freud into it at every turn.

intimacy is context-dependent, i would say. a moment of vulnerability can be platonic or romantic or sexual or maybe something else depending on a situation and all the factors involved. human connection is an boundless spectrum, not just a couple boxes.

did any of this make sense? they're just my Thoughts, i'm not a scholar on this i just

Thoughts on Tumblr right now?

Officially I have none; after staff behavior during the dashboard devolution last year, I decided on apathy. My stance on Tumblr as a whole is to block and blacklist the usernames of all staff accounts and refrain from attempting to offer feedback of any kind, simply accepting every new shitty change as the inevitable result of a website in decline. I lowered the amount of content I create on this platform and began exploring alternatives. My feelings have calcified as, essentially, the last paragraph of this post from that time.

Unofficially, if Tumblr goes under because the CEO was wildly and disproportionately upset that a trans woman was funnier than him, I won't even be mad. That's the most on-brand death I could imagine. Implosion from the sheer power of queer shade? Pass the popcorn.

My sympathies are with the trans folk out there getting harassed and then banned for complaining about the harassment, and particularly with Predstrogen, because it's terrifying to have someone with Matt Mullenwe's resources stalking you. I hope everyone stays safe and we find a new and better platform we can all move to. But my hopes and my expectations are very different.

I also hope the next iteration of the Tesla electric truck will come with an optional "covered in hammers" add-on. For a recurring monthly fee, naturally.

Unblocking Your Potential: Understanding Mars Placement in Your Natal Chart

Exploring the depths of your astrological chart, particularly the placement of Mars, can unveil powerful insights into the barriers obstructing your potential. Understanding how your unique Mars placement influences your drive, energy, and assertiveness can shed light on the areas where you may be facing obstacles. By delving into this aspect of your natal chart, we will elucidate how to identify and confront these blockages, empowering you to take the necessary steps towards unleashing your full potential.

Demystifying the Mars Placement in Your Natal Chart

What Exactly is the Mars Placement?

In astrology, the Mars placement refers to the position of the planet Mars at the time of your birth, which is documented in your natal chart. This placement is crucial because Mars is associated with how you express anger, your sexual drive, your initiative, and your overall energy levels. It's the cosmic fuel that powers your actions and desires. Think of it as a signature of your assertiveness and the force behind how you assert yourself in various life situations. Each zodiac sign that Mars can occupy lends a different flavor to these characteristics, and understanding this can help you make sense of not just your actions, but your reactions to challenges and opportunities. Knowing your Mars placement can offer enlightenment on how you pursue your goals and deal with conflict, providing a key to unlocking your true potential.

Impact of Mars Placement in Your Natal Chart

The impact of Mars placement in your natal chart is profound. It governs your courage and combativeness, influencing how you tackle life's battles. A well-placed Mars can mean you're naturally gifted with leadership qualities and a strong will. You likely approach challenges head-on and aren’t afraid to take risks. Conversely, a challenging Mars placement might indicate a tendency towards aggression or impulsiveness. It can show potential areas of life where you experience frustration or where you might need to develop patience. Mars also affects your passion and drive, which can play a significant role in career choices and hobbies. Essentially, the placement of Mars serves as a guide for harnessing your energy constructively. When you understand the power of this placement, you can better navigate your path, using your innate strengths to overcome obstacles and achieve your desires.

How the Mars Placement Relates to Your Potential

Mars placement is like a map to your innate potential. It gives clues about the best ways for you to channel your energy and ambition. If Mars is in a dominant position in your chart, you may find that you have strong leadership qualities and the potential to initiate action in areas where others hesitate. It can indicate a natural ability to push boundaries and break new ground. On the other hand, if Mars is in a more challenging position, it may point to the need for greater self-awareness in how you assert yourself, suggesting that your greatest potential could be realized by learning to moderate your impulses. By understanding your Mars placement, you can discover the most effective ways to apply your energy and drive, turning your raw potential into realized achievements. This knowledge empowers you to focus your efforts where they will be most fruitful, leading to personal growth and success.

Discovering Your Blocks: How Mars Holds You Back

Identifying Your Personal Blockages

When Mars is unfavorably aligned in your natal chart, it can create personal blockages that manifest in various aspects of your life. Identifying these blockages is the first step towards understanding how they may be holding you back. Look for patterns of frustration, where you feel repeated resistance or where anger surfaces disproportionately. These are indicators of where Mars may be working against you. You might also notice areas where you have an excess of energy but lack direction, causing you to spin your wheels without making progress. Pay attention to feelings of inadequacy or a lack of confidence in certain situations, as these can signal blockages related to the assertive qualities of Mars. By pinpointing these obstacles, you're preparing to challenge and overcome them, moving closer to realizing your full potential. Recognizing these signs is crucial for the journey towards self-improvement and empowerment.

Understanding Impact of Mars on Common Blockages

The influence of Mars on common blockages is significant because it affects how we deal with challenges and pursue our goals. For instance, if Mars is in a position that squares other planets in your chart, you might face hurdles in assertiveness, experiencing either too much aggression or not enough. This can lead to conflict in relationships or passivity in career advancement. If Mars is in retrograde in your natal chart, you might find yourself holding back when you should be pushing forward, leading to missed opportunities and regret. Alternatively, a harmonious Mars placement can sometimes make one overly reliant on their ability to easily conquer obstacles, causing complacency. By understanding how Mars impacts these common blockages, you can strategize ways to balance your energies, ensuring that assertiveness doesn't turn into hostility and that drive doesn't devolve into burnout.

Role of Mars in Inhibition and Fear

Mars plays a crucial role in how we confront or succumb to inhibition and fear. When Mars's energy is suppressed or its placement forms challenging aspects with other planets in your natal chart, it can result in internalized fear, causing hesitation and self-doubt. This can manifest as an inability to take decisive action, leading to a sense of stagnation. On the flip side, an overactive Mars might push you to act out of fear, resulting in reckless decisions or unnecessary confrontations. Understanding the position of Mars can throw light on the source of these fears and inhibitions. It can guide you to balance its energies, allowing you to face fears with courage and to act with confidence without being foolhardy. Knowledge of your Mars placement can be a powerful tool in learning to navigate fear, transforming it from a hindrance into a motivator for growth.

Illuminating the Path: How to Overcome Your Mars Blockages

Practical Steps to Unlock Your Potential

To unlock your potential by overcoming Mars blockages, start by reflecting on moments when you've felt held back. Analyze these situations: What triggered your response? What were the outcomes? Next, practice assertiveness in low-stakes environments to build confidence. Exercise is another practical step; it channels Mars energy constructively, reducing stress and increasing vitality. Additionally, set small, achievable goals that align with your Mars placement to gradually build momentum. For example, if your Mars is in a creative sign like Pisces, start a small art project. If it's in a strategic sign like Scorpio, plan a step-by-step approach to a complex task. By taking these practical steps, you actively work with your Mars energy rather than against it, allowing you to break through the barriers that previously seemed insurmountable.

Astrological Remedies to Mars-Related Issues

Astrological remedies for Mars-related issues can be an effective way to balance its energies. One such remedy is to wear or carry gemstones associated with Mars, such as red coral, which can enhance vitality and courage. Another approach is to meditate on or chant mantras that correspond to Mars, helping to calm aggression and increase determination. Engaging in activities that honor Mars, like martial arts or competitive sports, can also redirect its combative energies in a positive way. Additionally, incorporating the color red into your daily life can stimulate Mars energy, while also serving as a reminder to remain grounded and centered. Astrology also suggests that being mindful of Mars transits and retrogrades can help you anticipate and prepare for periods of potential conflict or assertiveness. By using these remedies, you can align more harmoniously with the influence of Mars and use its power to your advantage.

Harnessing the Energy of Mars for Self-Improvement

Harnessing the energy of Mars is about channeling its raw power for constructive self-improvement. Begin by setting clear intentions that resonate with Mars’s qualities like strength and determination. Engage in activities that challenge you physically and mentally, fostering discipline and resilience which are in harmony with Mars's spirit. Adopting a proactive mindset is also key; take initiative in areas of your life where you've previously held back due to fear or indecision. Furthermore, using visualization techniques to imagine successfully overcoming obstacles can help you tap into Mars's dynamic energy. Establish routines that encourage action and follow through, and be willing to confront issues directly, which can lead to breakthroughs in personal growth. By consciously working with Mars energy, you invite more focus, passion, and vitality into your life, driving significant self-improvement and empowerment.

The Power of Mars: Turning Blocks into Building Blocks

How Mars Blockages Can Serve as Lessons

Mars blockages can actually serve as valuable lessons that contribute to our personal growth. When we encounter obstacles related to our Mars placement, it forces us to pause and re-evaluate our approach. These moments of reflection can teach us about our inherent strengths and weaknesses, showing us how we can become more balanced individuals. For example, if impatience is a recurring issue, a Mars blockage might be a lesson in cultivating patience and timing. Alternatively, if passivity is the problem, a Mars challenge could push you to develop assertiveness and to stand up for your beliefs. By viewing these blockages as opportunities for learning, you can transform them into tools for building resilience and character. It's about flipping the narrative and using the very things that seem to hold you back as stepping stones to reach new levels of achievement and self-awareness.

Embracing Mars: Growth Through Struggle

Embracing Mars means recognizing that growth often comes through struggle and that our challenges can catalyze transformation. The warrior energy of Mars invites us to face our battles head-on, knowing that each confrontation is a chance to strengthen our resolve and develop courage. When we accept the struggles linked to our Mars placement as part of our journey, we open ourselves to the lessons they bring. It's about understanding that the friction caused by Mars's challenging aspects can create a spark that ignites change. By embracing these struggles, we not only learn to navigate them more effectively but also to appreciate the fortitude and self-reliance they build within us. The key is to approach each struggle with a mindset of perseverance and to use the fiery energy of Mars as a source of motivation rather than a cause for frustration.

Using Mars Energy: Converting Blocks into Empowerment

Converting blocks into empowerment requires using Mars energy to fuel positive change. To do this, first acknowledge the blockage and understand its root in Mars's influence. This self-awareness is a form of empowerment in itself, as it moves you from a place of reaction to one of control. Then, consciously redirect the potent energy of Mars from the blockage into constructive actions. For instance, if you find yourself with a short temper, channel that intensity into passion for a project or cause. If you face stagnation, use the dynamic force of Mars to kickstart a new fitness regime or to tackle a project you've been postponing. By intentionally shifting where and how Mars's energy expresses itself, you transform potential liabilities into assets. This approach not only empowers you but can also serve as an inspiring example to others who may face similar challenges.

Mars and Beyond: Continuing Your Astrological Journey

Integrating Your Mars Understanding into Overall Astrological Knowledge

Integrating your understanding of Mars into your broader astrological knowledge can offer a more comprehensive view of your personal journey. Consider how Mars interacts with other planetary placements in your chart, such as your Sun sign, which represents your core being, or your Moon sign, which reflects your emotional landscape. Understanding these dynamics can reveal how your drive and assertiveness (Mars) influence your life purpose (Sun) and emotional responses (Moon). For a holistic view, also examine how Mars's placement affects your relationships, career, and personal growth. Look at aspects between Mars and other planets to understand the flow of energy in your chart. This integrated approach allows you to make more informed decisions and to harness the full spectrum of your astrological profile. The goal is to create a synergy between the various elements of your chart, using the insights gained to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.

How Other Planets Interact with Your Mars Placement

The interaction of Mars with other planets in your natal chart can significantly influence its expression. When Mars forms aspects with planets like Jupiter, you may find your assertiveness is magnified, providing a boost in confidence and expansion of will. If it's interacting with Saturn, you could experience a tempering of your Mars energy, demanding discipline and patience. Venus in relation to Mars can affect your passion and relationships, blending the energies of desire and affection. The Sun's aspect to Mars will often amplify your vitality and drive, while the Moon's aspect can affect how you express your assertiveness emotionally. It's important to understand these planetary relationships because they can either harmonize with or challenge your Mars placement, affecting how you experience and use your energy. These interactions are not just isolated influences; they form a complex web that dictates the ebb and flow of your personal power and initiative.

Exploring Further: What Next in Your Natal Chart Journey?

After delving into the role of Mars in your life, the next steps in your natal chart journey involve a deeper exploration of the other celestial influences. Each planet has its own significance, such as Venus's sway over love and relationships, Mercury's impact on communication, and Saturn's lessons in discipline and structure. Studying the houses in your chart can provide context for how these planetary energies manifest in different areas of your life. Consider learning about the transits, which are the movements of planets at the current time and how they interact with your natal chart, offering insights into the timing of events and phases of life. Look into the progressions, a technique that symbolizes your chart's evolution over time. By continuing your astrological education, you can gain a more nuanced understanding of your personal dynamics and life's unfolding narrative, empowering you to navigate it with greater wisdom.

Hi! For the 500 follower special, can I get L,O,Q and X from the sfw alphabet, for deuce, Lilia and malleus? Thank you <3

🍓I'm powering through the sfw requests, then I'll get nsfw, and then full lists in the same order. I'm so glad so many people requested, I just hope I don't let anyone down with my responses :/

I DROP MALLEUS LORE SPOILERS IN MALLEUS' OPEN PROMPT!!! (NOTHING BIG, BUT ITS MALLEUS LORE)

Deuce

L - Little Ones (how are they around children?): Oh, Deuce LOVES kids. He just thinks they're so cute and sweet and -- ugh, he wishes he had siblings to spoil. Equally, though, he's very nervous around them when he first meets a kid. I mean, they're so little? How are the so tiny and helpless? He just wants to smother them with affection, but he can't cause they might die if he does that.

O - Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves?): Deuce is a pretty open book from the start. He doesn't really have a reason to hide, and if you're his partner, why would he want to hide anything? So, you probably know most things about him before you even start dating, and then he tells you the more embarrassing things later down the line as you get more serious about each other.

Q - Quizzes (how much would they remember about you?): Listen, he's not good with the little things like favorite colors or what your favorite song is. But if you tell him what your favorite flower is, your favorite restaurant? He never forgets it. It goes in the long-term Deuce memory bank, forever categorized as incredibly important, but he has no idea why until he needs the information.

X - Xtra: Deuce is, surprisingly, very good with hair. He used to have to help his mom style hers, so he knows a ton of really cool tricks for styling it. Female, male, non-binary -- doesn't matter, he knows how to style your hair and it's going to feel like a GODSEND to your scalp.

Lilia

L - Little Ones: Lilia's favorite hobby is being a father of three, so it's safe to assume he loves kids. Just everything about them is so darn cute -- their stubby little arms and disproportionate bodies. Oh! He can't get enough. If he could raise a hundred more kids, he absolutely would love to!

O - Open: Lilia, unlike Deuce, is not open at all! He puts on this bright and cheery face so he can hide from his dark and fucked up past. You are the light of his life, his guiding start in the night sky -- he doesn't want you to know how much of a monster he is. It's not until you are WELL SETTLED in your relationship that he tells you about his painful past, the things he's done, and how badly he wishes he could take it all back.

Q - Quizzes: Oh, Lilia knows everything. His memory just seems endless, and no matter if you told him something today or years ago, he would remember it clear as day. Every little detail from the very basics to the intricate ways you go about doing different things, he knows and adores all of them.

X - Xtra: Lilia is very good at gambling -- just hear me out. He's incredibly observant and reads people better than they do themselves. Not only that, he's smart. He can sit down at any gambling game, any kind, even if he's a beginner, and walk away with as much money as he wants. He is a casinos worst nightmare.

Malleus

L - Little Ones: Children make Malleus... nervous. They're very little, and they seem very unaware of things around them, yet they have the confidence and demand of a well-established ruler. It's discomforting. Still, he did help raise (technically) two younger boys, so he does harbor some affection for children, he just has to get used to them for him to really enjoy them.

O - Open: It's not to say that Malleus is NOT open, it's just that he doesn't think to share things about himself. So he seems closed off, but really he's just thinking about gargoyles. He does this... thing, though, where he just... lore drops on you. Out of nowhere, he just "My mother died before I was born, and the love that Lilia gave me was enough to cause me to hatch, therefore, he is the closest thing to a father figure I will ever have." Kay... cool Malleus.

Q - Quizzes: He is so bad at keeping track of time, he will not remember 90% of the things about you. He will, however, remember the most random things. Like he doesn't remember what year you were born, but he knows your favorite character and all their lore. It's because he only cares about the things you care about a lot. If you talk about something frequently, he's going to go out of his way to learn more about it because it matters to you <3

X - Xtra: Malleus has an EXTENSIVE collection of Magic The Gathering Cards (or the test equivalent). He doesn't play the game, he has no idea how it works, but he really likes the collecting part of the whole thing. The art on the cards is pretty, and that was enough to fuel a whole collection.

incubus!san preview

pairing: incubus!san x fem!reader

synopsis: being in love with your boss, doctor jeong yunho, is a nightmare. unlike this dream you're having right now of him gently kissing you in the middle of the night. but something feels off. doctor jeong doesn't quite sound like himself...

wc: +- 11k (preview is 0.6k)

tag preview: multiple smut scenes (2), demon!san (he has magical powers), monster cock!san, dirty talk, oral (f&m), overstim (f), multiple orgasms (he ain't no sex demon for nothing), breeding kink, explicitly asking for consent, pet names (kitten, baby, good girl), praising, begging, orgasm control, cum play

a/n: im rewriting this old fic and i need to get hyped up to finish it up. please tell me if you wanna be tagged <3

link to the full fic

Just a dream. You repeated to yourself.

“I promise you won’t regret it. Because I was trained for this.” You felt the unusually hot glide of his tongue on your ear as swarms of butterflies collectively took off inside your guts. “I was trained to please you… Only you.” Goosebumps ran across your skin as electricity sparked up in your core.

He went back to lick and suck on your ear you’re surprised how much surface his tongue can cover but you don’t pay that much intention to it, you’re too busy being gently laid back in your bed by San as he licked down your neck, leaving sloppy kisses and playful bites in his wake. His sharp teeth easily sunk into your skin and the pleasurable sting dragged a throaty moan out of your mouth. San briefly pulled away to look at you. He smirked at your flushed rosy cheeks.

“Baby, are you already feeling me?” Just as he said that he pushed his hips into yours and you had to keep yourself from loudly gasping when you felt… it. You haven’t seen it yet, but you just know it… That thing… was huge.

You let out a whimper and he unveiled his pointy teeth, the white pearls glistening under the moonlight. While San buried his face back in the crook of your neck you noticed how the buttons of your nightgown started to faintly glow red and in total stupor you understood they are undoing themselves. The straps swiftly slipped off your skin and you were left absolutely naked before San’s eyes.

He pulled away drinking in your most natural form while you lay on your back, thighs tightly pressed together.

“Baby you look this good, and you want me to behave?” he said in that voice again. He licked his lips, his tongue was different. It’s long and pointy, unnaturally red and… hot too… you recalled from the neck kisses. Your heart pounded in your chest.

He leans back again, and his disproportionately long tongue fully wrapped around your nipple. You moaned and bit your bottom lip. He lightly flicked his tongue. You gasped as it was gradually more difficult to resist.

He dipped down again, hot tongue gliding across your skin from your chest to your stomach and dangerously approaching your center. When he noticed you were keeping your legs tightly shut, he looked back up at you. Your eyes grew wide when you noticed the soft dark brown of his eyes was replaced by a glowing and ominous burgundy red.

“Baby, don’t make this harder than it has to be” San said, not parting his lips from your pubic bone still showering you with a thousand breathy kisses. Then with a flick of the wrist, your legs flew open, the magical force prying your legs open as if it were nothing, coercing you into unveiling yourself to the ravenous gaze of the demon. and before you can even realize it San was eyeing the most private part of you. and the demon was at heaven's doors.

“Baby, it didn’t even start yet and you’re already this wet for me” his teasing made you squirm and it’s only then that you realize in what state the incubus has put you.

You were absolutely drenched. You never were this wet… Ever! Even in your wildest dream with Doctor Jeong. Without even proper touching, you soaked the sheets all the way through the mattress. You couldn’t see it, but you felt long strings of your juices linking your sopping center to the bed and coating your inner thighs.

When San approached his face very slowly, eyes focused on his target, licking his lips hungrily, when he’s right there, just a couple of centimeters away from your soaked slit he looked up at you. sharp eyes glowing red and harboring a smirk that could only be described as downright evil.

“Oh, and y/n, one last thing. This is not a dream… It’s real… I’m real”

a/n: omg i hope you liked the small preview! if you're excited for it please come tell me and hype me up so i finish up this thing fast haha. also tell me if u wanna be tagged <3

TW bipolar discussion and nonconsensual kissing, mental health discussion

So about Saturn Girl kissing Jon without his ability to consent to it: I get that she isn't actively deciding to mind control the people around her, but she does have a choice in the matter. Her family wanted her to stay home until she could control her mind control powers, but she didn't want to and left. To me that's like if I noticed I was manic (not hypomanic) and didn't go to the mental hospital... Like I can't control my bipolar but I have the choice to stay away from others when it would harm them. That's not even a good comparison though because my judgement isn't clear enough to consistently do that when I'm manic, whereas she is at baseline and is able to think rationally. I wouldn't blame someone with bipolar because they have no choice, but I'm just saying the obvious choice would be to keep yourself away from others even if it's not fun for you. I feel like I can blame her, because she has a choice.

I do sympathize with her, but I really think she's hurting others disproportionately to the distress she feels stuck at home, and that's not okay.

If you look back on the events with the knowledge that she can't turn off her mind control, you see how manipulative she is, especially to Jon, and she does high-control group tactics: love bombing, isolation, guilt tripping, not letting him have rest alone where he would have time to realize he didn't want this.

I don't like the JonDami narrative that Jon was an asshole for leaving Damian in the past or was running away from his problems, because in my view he was dragged into a cult and I can't blame him for that, especially because he was extremely vulnerable at the time. I also don't believe Jon would have left in the first place if he knew up front that he couldn't bring Damian to at least visit him.

Jon had been in a state of fight or flight for around 6 years (not just talking about the volcano because there was also his verbally abusive grandpa and their deadly adventures and being trapped in space, and then him struggling to survive on the streets and trying to find a way home after he escaped) and the first time he really got a chance to cool down was when he was talking with Damian. He really needs a long break, therapy, and medication because what he went through can't be treated with therapy alone as the stress has chemical effects in the brain that need to be adjusted.

The writers don't care about how Jon should be extremely hypervigilant and defensive and anxious. I guess that's just not brave enough for a superhero, nevermind that leaving the house and getting treatment for these things, learning to trust again, and letting people help you is so much braver than punching guys when you have superpowers. It's natural to fight when your fight or flight is activated in a protective manner, but doing the logical thing when every signal in your body is telling you not to is really damn hard. The only coward is DC for giving Jon trauma and not actually writing a traumatized character.

That all being said, Damian clearly doesn't see how Jon is being manipulated, probably because his head is full of self hatred & doubting & repressed desires to ask Jon to stay, and thinks he needs to go against his abandonment trauma by swinging the pendulum too far in the opposite direction in his speech. With his c-ptsd and abandonment issues I can see him becoming bitter towards Jon for going to the future.

That could make for a really complex fanfiction, don't you think? The conflict coming from their unique life experiences and traumas, and them learning to understand each other like they're always doing. This misunderstanding of intentions born not out of something dumb like hearing the wrong thing or being unclear in language, but from their different points of view.

My jondami au where Jon leaves the legion early is calling me lmao "Isaac we have more problems for you to fix~"

That being said I have no exclusivity to these ideas for writing.

the conversation around generative neural networks is a dumpster fire in a dozen different ways but I think the part that disproportionately frustrates me, like on an irrational pet peeve level, is that nobody in that conversation seems to understand automata theory

back before most of these deep learning techniques were a twinkle in a theorist's eye, back when computing was a lot less engineering and a lot more math, computer scientists had worked out the math of different "classes" of computer system and what kinds of problems they could and couldn't solve

these aren't arbitrary classifications like most taxonomy turns out to be. there's qualitative differences. you can draw hard lines: "it takes class X or above to run programs with Y trait", and "only class X programs or below are guaranteed to have Y trait". and all of those lines have been mathematically proven; if you ever found a counterexample, then we'd be in "math is a lot of bunk" territory and we'd have way bigger things to worry about

this has nothing to do with how fast/slow the computer system goes; it's about "what kinds of program can it run at all". so it includes emulation and such. you can emulate a lower system in a higher one, but not vice versa

at the top of this heap is turing machines, which includes most computers we'd bother to build. there's a lot of programs that it's been mathematically proven require at least a turing machine to run. and this class of programs includes a lot of things that humans can do, too

but with this power comes some inevitable restrictions. for example, if you feed a program to a turing machine, there's no way to guarantee that the program will finish; it might get stuck somewhere and loop forever. in fact there's some programs that you straight up can't predict whether they'll ever finish even if you're looking at the code yourself

these two are intrinsically linked. if your program solves a turing complete problem, it needs a turing machine; nothing less will do. and a turing machine is capable of running all such programs, given enough time.

ok. great. what does any of that jargon have to do with AI?

well... the important thing to know is that the machine learning models we're using right now can't loop forever. if they could loop forever they couldn't be trained. for any given input, they'll produce an output in finite time

which means... well, any program that requires a turing machine to run, or even requires a push-down automaton to run (a weaker type of computer system that can get into infinite loops but that you can at least check ahead of time if a program will get stuck or not), can't be emulated by these systems. they've got to be in the next category down: finite state machines at most - and thus unable to compute, or emulate computation of, programs that inhabit a higher tier

and there is a heck of a lot of stuff we conceptualize as "thinking" that doesn't fit in a finite state machine

...I suspect it will some day be possible for a computer program to be a person. I am absolutely certain that when that day comes, the computer program who's a person would require at least a turing machine to run them

what we have right now isn't that. what we have right now is eye spots on moths, bee orchids, mockingbirds. it might be "artificial intelligence", depending on your definition of "intelligence", but prompt it to do things that we've proven only a turing machine can do, and it will fall over

and the reason I consider this an "irrational pet peeve" and not something more severe? is because this information doesn't actually help solve policy questions! if this is a tool, then we still need to decide how we're going to allow such tools to be built, and used. it's not as simple as a blanket ban, and it's not as simple as letting the output of GNNs fully launder the input, because either of those "simple" solutions are rife for abuse

but I can't help but feel like the conversation is in part held back by specious "is a GNN a people" arguments on the one hand, and "can a GNN actually replace writers, or is it just fooling execs into thinking it can" arguments on the other, when the answer to both seems to me like it was solved 40 years ago

anyway! free palestine AND land back. the following post is not to argue against any of this.

but one of my biggest hangups with the zionist/antizionist discourse (and especially the Good Diaspora Jew vs Bad Israeli Jew monolith brought up by MANY people) is the way that it serves to purify or normalise settler colonialism ON turtle island. this is complicated - i think it's a massive problem that jews in the US, Canada, Latin America, Australia, and Aotearoa are all held to account for the actions of the state of israel, and they should not be. i don't want to throw the rest of us under the bus. But i also think it's a massive problem that the discourse that launders israelis as a particularly evil type of settler and then juxtaposes the Good Diasporist Jew (disproportionately ashkenazi, and an english speaker with a Yiddish speaking family history rather than hebrew speaking Israeli jews from a more diverse range of backgrounds/minhagim) frequently ends up ascribing a normalism and moral purity to much larger and more systematically powerful settler states, to the extent i've seen massive amounts of "terra nullis" argumentation over the last couple weeks - landback or land acknowledgement might be nice, but idk, what can i do now?

anyway. i won't name names but this addition to one of my friends' posts kind of exemplifies the issue, which is in no way specific only to jews.

In America we (you and I, white Jews) are settlers because we benefit from the continued displacement of Native Americans and are in a (conditionally, recently) protected ethnic class, but I feel much better about being that kind of settler and making community with Jews and goyim alike and doing what I can not to oppress or be a tool for displacement, than I would being a citizen of Israel when no ancestor of mine has lived there for over 1500 years.

Why do you feel much better? what about "america" makes you feel better? what is different about you living in america than you living in israel? Do you ascribe a moral neutrality to the condition of living in the US that you do not ascribe to living in ha'aretz yisrael as part of the society of medinat yisrael?

Do you consider your actions of "doing what I can not to oppressor or be a tool of displacement" as a settler in the US to be different from the actions of those in Israel? Why?

A Little Rant about Fun

Remember fun?

Remember when you could do things just because they were fun?

It keeps coming to mind recently, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

I've always done things with my hands - I used to do art before uni destroyed my love and confidence, I write things, I cross stitch, I make models, and I do these things because I enjoy them. Unfortunately I've come to hate talking to people about my hobbies because the almost always have the same response - 'what do you do with that?'

Do I sell on Etsy? No I fucking don't, this pattern took me 15 hours to finish, do you know how much I would have to charge for it?

Do I do freelance writing? No I fucking don't, why would I want a second soul-crushing job on top of my first soul-crushing job?

Why don't I actually get published instead of wasting my time with fanfiction so I can actually make some money off it? WHY DON'T YOU DO IT IF ITS SO FUCKING EASY

I've been thinking of making a quilt recently, with patches of all my favourite things, but I don't want to talk to anyone about it because I can already hear them asking 'and what are you going to do with it? Is this your practice one before you sell them? No, don't do it that way, that's the wrong way, no-one will like it!'

(Don't get me started on the 'you're doing it wrong' crowd, gatekeepers are a different rant.)

JUST LET ME DO THINGS. NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO MAKE MONEY. I know we're in a cost of living crisis right now, but I've been hearing this shit since I was a teenager, twenty fucking years ago! I still remember being talked out of singing lessons when I had a little extra money because 'what would I do with it?' Well fuck, my fat ass was never going to be the next Adele, but maybe I could have just had fun doing something I enjoy, but better?!

ON A RELATED NOTE!

You know what disproportionately annoys me? When people call the Nintendo Switch a 'toy' as if it's a bad thing. Like... yes? It's a toy? I play games on it?

'But the frame rate!', 'But the graphics!', 'But it can't run XX game!' WHO FUCKING CARES.

Yes, the xbox and playstation can connect to netflix and play blue rays and cook you dinner and raise your children, but they also cost a months rent and have all these bells and whistles to distract you from the fact that they JUST FUCKING TOYS. There's nothing either of them can do that I can't do on my PC, better and cheaper, and not have to turn on five different peripherals to make it work.

'But 4K!', 'But you can see the character follicles in this new game!', 'But the horses testicles react to the weather!'

Are you not having fun? Are you not enjoying playing your game? Never once have I been in the middle of a game and thought 'I'd be enjoying this more if it had more pixels.' I'm not even against other consoles, use whatever you prefer - if you like modern real-to life graphics then more power to you, but the amount of people who act like it actually matters somehow is concerning...

Yes, the switch hardware is behind what the xbox and playstation can do... but its a toy. Nintendo has never forgotten that it makes toys, and that's why I like it. It sits on my table, connects to my other monitor. I listen to long form youtube videos while I play TOTK. If I'm feeling sassy, I play it handheld.

My niece has one. We play Pokémon together and I let her win battles because the point is to be fun.

WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO MY POINT!

FUCK the grindset 'but how can I monetise every possible second?' bullshit, FUCK the 'taking this thing that should be fun way too seriously' bullshit.

LET PEOPLE DO THINGS JUST BECUASE THEY'RE FUN.

LET THINGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN BE FUN.

And now I've used the word 'fun' so much it's lost all meaning.

Much like fun itself.

Hcs off modern Castlevania chars? Like jobs/friends & stuff

Ask: Hcs off modern Castlevania chars? Like jobs/friends & stuff

A/N: In this, most people are living sort of happily ever after. Does that make them OOC, yes it does. Do I care? No, I don’t. 

👷‍♂️ Modern-Day Castlevania Headcanons: Jobs 👩‍⚕️

I see Trevor as something of a detective/cop, but I don’t think he’d be down with working for the system. Being a P.I. or an independent security contractor of some sort would probably suit his personality better. He’s the cool kinda punk that strikes fear into the hearts of violent bigots but is also somehow seen as a safe adult to little kids. Which he doesn’t mind. He finds it useful that only those hiding something or guilty of something see him as a threat. He’s not the best with kids, but he’s nice enough to them. He was on his own a lot from a very young age- definitely a latch-key kid- so he feels a fair share of protectiveness when it comes to them. 

Sypha strikes me as a natural protector/nurturer, so maybe a preschool/grade-school teacher or physical therapist? She loves learning and sharing that knowledge with others. I can absolutely see her leading workshops related to whatever it is she’s chosen to have a career in. And she’s great with everyone- adults, kids, seniors, animals- you name it, they love Sypha. (Except for assholes and Karens of course.) 

Alucard is introverted by nature, and also a lifelong student like Sypha. He’s also the inheritor/keeper of his father’s money and his mother’s wisdom. For that reason, I see him as a History or Anthropology Professor- at the college level and above. Maybe even an eventual department head. He’s very serious, and doesn’t have the demeanor for working with children or amateurs; he wants to teach people who are just as committed as he is to what they’re learning. His whole life he feels like his purpose is greater than what it currently is, and because of that, he’s never quite content with the life he’s living. He feels like something or someone is missing from his journey. 

I think the three of them would become friends eventually, but one like one of those friend groups that makes absolutely no sense to people outside it. Like, you wouldn’t expect a rough and tumble cop-hating anarchist, a feisty, yet kind-hearted physical therapist, and a tall skinny history academic to be besties, yet there they are. 

Maybe they’d meet at a conference somewhere. Like a wellness convention/conference is taking place at Alucard’s college, Sypha’s a prominent speaker (ah! pun not intended) there, and Trevor’s company is providing extra security. 

Maybe there’s some kind of snafu, and there’s like an assailant loose on campus or something. Trevor’s chasing the guy, but Alucard sees him coming and decides he’ll help out and head the bad guy off. But in the end, the two men are beaten to the quick by Sypha, who stops the guy in the most impressively timed frisbee toss they’ve ever seen. The two men insist on talking Sypha out for coffee- and getting to know her, because, let’s be honest, who wouldn't want to be friends with Sypha? The three of them get to talking and the rest is history. 

Dracula is someone who just has power- he doesn’t have to amass it, it just naturally comes to him. He’s the type to gather fortune and invest it in a bunch of different properties and revolutionary pharmaceutical investment opportunities. He’s the Big Guy in the Chair. And then he just sort of, fucks off to his mansion to do whatever he wants. He’s a recluse- he deems human interaction pointless and unnecessary as a man of his stature. Who needs to leave the house when you can just pay people to do everything for you? He’d much rather be alone anyway. Of course that all changes when he meets Lisa. 

Lisa, similar to her nature in the show, would be a physician of some sort. I could see her being especially interested in women’s medicine or infectious disease as it disproportionately affects those in need, and she has a very strong internal sense of justice. Maybe she seeks out Vlad because he’s the big cheese CEO of a pharmaceutical company that’s publicly refusing to lower the cost of a specific drug that would revolutionize her patients’ care. She’d find out where he lived, bang on his door, and demand he lower his profit margins right now. Of course, no one has ever had the balls to say such a thing to his face before, and Drac falls in love pretty much instantly. 

The two of them are a power couple: he still maintains so much fortune and sway, but his partnership with Lisa makes him see ways to use it for good. He starts charities and fundraisers- he shocks the wealthy world by going rogue- and gives away most of what he earns instead of hoarding it. And it’s no secret it’s thanks to Lisa. 

Now Hector: I know everyone headcanons Hector as being a veterinarian, but for me, I think it makes more sense for him to be a mortuary or a medical examiner. He’s lovely with his pets, but at the same time, I don’t think he has the stomach to do what vets have to do. Vets have to talk to owners and their families and be personable and bright. He sees his pets as possessions, not family members. So a job where it’s just him and no one else- no crying kid or elderly companion to reassure would be better suited for him. 

Hector is naturally inquisitive- a trait we saw even when he was imprisoned, so I think being a medical examiner would be very rewarding to him. He’d find it invigorating, to get down the truth of a mysterious death or shocking murder. And because he’s not squeamish, he’d be very clear and articulate presenting information on the stand. 

Issac’s big thing throughout the series is loyalty and personal growth. S2 Isacc and S4 Issac are very different people. So I’m basing this more on S4 Isaac. I think he’d benefit in a position of some power, but also of some charity. Maybe as a politician or a professional lobbyist. He advocates for causes he believes are just and does not shy away from verbal confrontation when it comes to hashing out right vs. wrong. 

I could see this being the way he meets Vlad and Hector. If some sort of tragedy or panic happened, and a large emergency medical response was involved, I could see Isacc propositioning Dracula for donations, in exchange for dinner and a chance to sway his mind about a certain political vote. Hector would be on the other end of that tragedy, dealing with those who lost their lives. Perhaps Issac seeks out Hector as a form of outreach, to prove he is committed to what he says he stands for. He connects Hector with Dracula, and the three of them find they’re all rather pleasant company compared to the majority of the unremarkable humans out there. They can all look death in the face and feel no fear. They don’t do bullshit, and they get along well because of it.

i really feel like we don’t discuss enough just how deep jkr’s white supremacy goes

like it’s way more than just:

cho chang’s name

almost every black character being tall and sporty

kingley’s name

the goblins

the house elves

the only south asian thing about the patil twins being their names

there’s way more but those are the talking points that are usually discussed in the white supremacy context of jkr’s bigotry.

but there’s something else that i find to be particularly insidious which i don’t see that many conversations about.

so for context when i did my a level i had had to research late 19th century pseudoscience because i was studying gothic literature. and i came across things like phrenology and the criminal mind and honestly it feels like jkr discovered these theories and just ran with them.

as a quick explanation phrenology is the theory that by studying the shape of someone’s skull you can see if they’re predisposed to criminality and lombroso’s criminal mind is the theory that criminality is hereditary and you can tell by observing someone’s physical features. it’s also the general consensus in both these theories that someone with physical ‘defects’ or deformities’ will be predisposed to criminality which also makes them incredibly ableist.

both are incredibly eugenicist and white supremacist theories because they’re essentially saying that you can tell if someone is inherently good or bad and thereby whether they deserve to be alive/within society/treated as equals by looking at their physical features.

they are both complete bullshit pseudoscience with no real basis in fact.

now where this comes into hp and jkr is that the antagonists and the villains of the series are disproportionately described as having these very negative physical characteristics.

like the very obvious one is voldemort with no nose and being snakelike.

but also the way peter pettigrew is described.

“His thin, colourless hair was unkempt and there was a large bald patch on top. He had the shrunken appearance of a plump man who had lost a lot of weight in a short time. His skin looked grubby, almost like Scabbers’s fur, and something of the rat lingered around his pointed nose, his very small, watery eyes.” (poa ch 19)

like the man is literally being compared to an animal (yes i know it’s implied in the lore that the longer one stays in their animagus form the more traits they take on but the point still stands).

then there’s marcus flint who as far as i remember is literally just a minor antagonist.

“Marcus Flint was even larger than Wood. He had a look of trollish cunning on his face as he replied” (cos ch 7)

like she really has a thing for comparing people to animals which is a very common tool in white supremacy for dehumanising people.

and then there’s greyback

“a big, rangy man with matted grey hair and whiskers, whose black Death Eater’s robes looked uncomfortably tight. He had a voice like none that Harry had ever heard: a rasping bark of a voice. Harry could smell a powerful mixture of dirt, sweat and, unmistakeably, of blood coming from him. His filthy hands had long yellowish nails.” (hbp ch 27)

now admittedly it’s slightly different with greyback since jkr is very openly saying in the narrative that he’s less than human and too dangerous for society because jkr only believes in equality for muggleborns and no one else.

but as is stands there are so many examples some big some small of the physical descriptions of villains and antagonists having negative connotations. the reason that it’s so insidious is because this is a children’s book series. and children soak up information like sponges including the implication that the further you are from the beauty standards the worse of a person you are (something that is reinforced by society). then when you place that in the context of the west where hp is most popular then it becomes the further away you are from whiteness (the western beauty standard) the worse of a person you are.

it seems like a really small thing which is why i don’t think it gets discussed nearly as much as the more overt things but even the small pebbles can have large ripple effects. besides i think think it’s incredibly important to discuss every aspect of jkr’s bigotry.

Book Review 56 – Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone

I consider myself a pretty big fan of Gladstone’s, but until now I’d only ever touched his standalone works – I was previously a bit put off by the length of the Craft Sequence and so never actually tried it. So, thank you to the people who recommended I give it a try anyway! Despite being the first in a series, Three Parts Dead is a perfectly fine self-contained story and not relying on you reading the sequels to finish anything important. While it’s not the best thing of Gladstone’s I’ve read (Last Exit my beloved), it’s not the worst, either.

The book takes place in an industrial fantasy setting about a generation out from the apocalyptic, centuries-long war between the old gods and the ‘deathless kings’ – human sorcerers who had learned to master magic such that they could face them and tear the world apart in the crossfire. Tara, the hero, graduated from basically-Hogwarts entirely because there’s a binding preventing the school from doing bodily harm to its students – the next second they literally threw her out a window at 10,000 feet. The story follows her as she’s hired as a junior associate helping a world-famous lawyer/archmage as she’s hired by the church of Kas Everburning to investigate the sudden and mysterious death of their god. What follows are several hundred pages of convoluted scheming, legal proceedings, forensic accounting, and bloody magical duels and assassinations.

There are a few twists I genuinely didn’t see coming, the plot overall hangs together very well, and the pacing was just about perfect for the kind-of pulpy mystery/adventure story it was. Overall just a great time reading it.

That said, the setting’s probably the main thing to really sell people on this book. It’s just fun, and actually pretty damn original. The basic conceits are that a) magic is real, and b) so is capitalism. Kas Everburning is the beloved god and protector of the city, and also a highly leveraged legal entity loaning power across the globe whose death would catastrophically destabilize the global financial/metaphysical/political system. Mages can fly and raise zombies and enscroll people, but it’s all done in the idiom and with the vocabulary of contract law.

Beyond the basic conceit, Gladstone just clearly delights in layering weirdness on weirdness. Vitally, he does actually have a bit of restraint with the exposition – the book’s full of off-hand comments about different places and institutions that make you (me, anyway) incredibly curious about what the hell their deal is, but the actual explanations are restricted to what’s actually relevant to the plot and what the characters actually need to know. I still really want to know what’s up with King Clock or the Iskari or a half dozen other things, though. So, top-tier worldbuilding.

The themes are not exactly subtle, but I very appreciate that Gladstone lets them mostly remain as worldbuilding subtext and manages to make them feel like they emerge very naturally. I appreciate the slight restraint it takes to let the reader draw their own conclusions about the fact that the city’s police force is so empowered by strength and lack of need for doubt when on the clock that it’s literally addictive, or that one of the main antagonists is a brilliant older academic whose masterwork is a system where his star pupils (including a disproportionate number of attractive young women) are magically networked together to achieve incredible results he can take credit for while their lives and personalities are drained away to nothing. Being able to literalize the subtext a bit is half the fun of secondary wrld fantasy, after all.

Anyway, yes, very fun read. Four stars.

"Resistance"

2023

It has been a maddening, miserable three months.

When last I posted about Palestine, the death toll in Gaza had just about leveled with the dead count in Israel. Some people may have called that justice; an eye for an eye, and all. Yet as I knew would happen, as any person with sense knew would happen, the state of Israel has dropped any pretense of seeking justice and gone full force on a savage, genocidal campaign. I can't put into words how demoralizing it has been to watch a tragedy of this scope unfold in real time on our screens; how infuriating to witness people and institutions that profess loving diversity and human rights back openly and shamelessly a fascist ethnostate. The world, and more concretely the western world, has utterly set aside the lessons of the War on Terror and slid back into a miasma of Islamophobic hysteria and lust for blood.

I've lost count of all the times that the state of Israel and their enablers have lied. Zionist discourse around this topic is rife with misinformation, unconfirmed rumors, and just plain, willful dishonesty. I take hope in knowing that more and more people, all over the world but especially so in the Global South, are less and less willing to believe the propaganda. Zionists wouldn't be as hysterical as they are if they didn't feel their wall of lies was crumbling. Nevertheless, here are some of the facts:

- Israel is an ethnocratic, settler-colonial state. This is not me saying it; the ideologues and pioneers of Zionism themselves described their project as colonial. From the very beginning, their stated aims have been control and subjugation, not coexistence. Only in later decades, with colonialism taking a bad connotation, did Israel rebrand itself as some sort of indigenous rights movement (an idea that is too absurd for words). But early Zionists were remarkably honest about who they were and what they wanted. The facts on the ground now, with the actions and rhetoric surrounding Gaza and with the encroachment of illegal settlements on the West Bank, all but confirm Israel's colonial aspirations.

If you're unconvinced, consider this: people in the Global South, people who know all too well what colonialism looks like, are far more likely to sympathize with Palestine than with Israel. And who supports Israel, then? Former and current colonial powers. Does it seem at all likely that countries like the United States and Britain would ever back indigenous national aspirations? I think not.

- Israel enforces a system of apartheid against Palestinians under their control. Again, this isn't me saying it; Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International, and even Israeli human rights organizations like B'tselem have confirmed this and published reports about it. Google and read them for yourselves, by all means.

And if you're still unconvinced, consider this: black people in South Africa, including Nelson Mandela himself, have always sympathized with Palestine, and have also drawn parallels between the apartheid they lived through and what Israel does. Do you really think you have any moral or intellectual authority to tell those people that they don't know what they're talking about? Because you don't.

- Under international law, an occupied people has the right to resist their occupiers. An occupying entity however does not have the right of self defense against the people it occupies. You can say that killing civilians is not legitimate resistance. That's fine. But then I expect you to apply that same principle to Israel and their indiscriminate bombing of Gaza. I also expect you to ponder wether Hamas targeting only military personnel would have made any difference in how you feel about the attacks. I know for a fact that even when only their soldiers are attacked, Israeli reprisals have always been savage, disproportionate, and deadly.

And if you're one of those (deluded) people who insists there's no occupation, I will say only this: when this started, Israeli officials stated loud and clear their intent to cut all electricity, fuel, food and water to the Gaza Strip, and then did just so. What kind of country has that amount of power over another? An occupier, that's who.

- Hamas was founded in 1987, and came to power in 2006 with 44.45% of voter support. That makes 36 years since its founding, and 17 years governing Gaza (note: Gaza. They do not govern the West Bank). Given these facts, you cannot possibly claim that the problems in the region start and end with Hamas, and you also cannot claim that Gazans collectively are to blame for their own destruction, what with half the population on the Strip being underage and all. If you insist on this, then I expect you to apply that same reasoning to Israelis. Netanyahu is the longest serving prime minister in his country's history, and has repeatedly been voted into power despite mounting evidence of corruption and war-mongering. Israelis are also required to serve in the military, and there isn't really a big movement to end it (those few that do refuse the draft are hella brave, by the way, and heroes in my book). Still, the majority of Israelis are, have been, or will be a part of their country's war machine at some point in their lives. I'd say that makes their society complicit, at least much more so than Palestinians are. Would you say that a people who consistently vote for the same war-mongers and that stand unconditionally with their military deserve to be blown to smithereens? I mean...that's your argument, dears, not mine.

I would also note that Netanyahu himself was caught on mic admitting to have propped up Hamas to thwart any possibility of establishing a Palestinian state. So...make of that what you will. It isn't the first time a colonial power props up radical militants to undermine secular, more moderate groups.

- And while we're on the subject of reasonability and compromise: in their 2017 charter, Hamas states its willingness to compromise on a temporary two-state solution. In the past, they have suggested long-term truces in exchange of assurances. Hell, last month's temporary ceasefire shows that they are a party that can be reasoned and negotiated with. But compromise and negotiation are not in the interest of the Israeli State. Since the earliest beginnings of the Zionist movement, total control over the land of Palestine has been their ultimate goal. And that goal has often come at the expense not only of Palestinians, but of their own people as well, as recent events showcase perfectly.

I know many of you are only too willing to believe that Muslim militants have no motives other than hatred, and no tools other than wanton violence. But whatever they may be, whatever we may think of them, the truth is that Hamas has been the more flexible party. They have concrete political aims, some of which are not that unreasonable. If Israel and the West refuse outright to even consider any of their terms, then perhaps the world ought to reconsider who the rash, irrational party is in this scenario.

- On the subject of violence: that story of the forty beheaded babies was a ruse; as in, there's no evidence for it. None. But again, don't take my word for it! The IDF, the White House, mainstream media outlets and the Israeli press, all of which amplified and spread this rumor and none of which are particularly sympathetic to Palestinians, they all walked back on their claims. You might want to consider what made you so willing to believe this lie, and maybe why you continue to believe it even after the people who first told you about it have said it's not true. It isn't the first time the state of Israel has made wild claims with either insufficient or non-existent evidence to support them.

That's not all. Mounting evidence, published by the Israeli press no less, shows that at least some Israeli civilians were killed in the crossfire between the IDF and Hamas. Hell, there is also evidence, provided by survivors, that the IDF may have killed its own citizens deliberately in an effort to wipe out the Hamas militants that held them hostage. The Israeli government have also revised their casualty numbers from 1400 to less than 1200, and it wouldn't surprise me if that number were to get lower still.

Regardless of wether Hamas killed all those people or not, the truth is this: there are at least 21,822 people killed in Gaza. That's over eighteen times the total Israeli death count. 8,800 of those killed are children. That's more than two hundred times the number of fake beheaded babies. The death toll and displacement have reached historic proportions, surpassing even the Nakba of 1948. Yet by all accounts, no more Israeli civilians have been killed by Palestinian militants since the first days of the escalation, that is, unless any hostages in Gaza have been executed (though they have more likely been killed by the Israeli military itself, as has indeed been proven to be the case). It is Palestinians who are dying now, and who have been dying over these months, over this year, and over these decades. I don't want to see you shed crocodile tears over civilian deaths if the only time you bother to turn your attention to this conflict is when Israelis die. You have no business pointing fingers at me if you support Israel's colonial, genocidal enterprise. As for me, I know where I stand. I regret all civilian loss of life, but if I am made to choose between colonizer and colonized, between oppressor and oppressed, between the people who are busy making TikToks and the people who are busy dying, my choice will always be clear.  

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Your post about unfollowing people who’re really combative online made me think about someone in particular. Apologies if this is out of nowhere so feel free to ignore.

If somebody (with thousands of followers) who isn’t a part of a specific marginalised group habitually seeks out bad takes regarding them to dunk on, isn’t that a little weird? I’m not talking about defending your friends when they’re facing discrimination or dunking on the main bigot character of the day, but regularly seeking out bad takes from small accounts that’d otherwise never seen the light of day.

It’s nobody on here I’m referencing. I feel a little crazy because this person gets heralded as a huge ally and has a lot of people in this marginalised group who’re really devoted to and defensive of them but it just really rubs me the wrong way because they seem really discourse-brained more than anything else.

yeah haha ironically i think some of the ppl on that post are seriously missing the point (which i probably could have made clearer) in terms of some of them are like. people who clearly think being told they're racist is the same as the type of behavior i'm talking about.

but also yes! this is more what i meant- people who are seeking out fights with those who would otherwise never get any attention! especially when it's takes that are NOT popular or the response is just totally disproportionate. or just building a social media brand off of over-exaggerated hatred/meanness towards people who "deserve it". it reminds me of all the cis people on here who constantly reblog shit about like... putting terfs in meat grinders but then never even lift a finger (or, more likely, are part of the mob) when trans women are sexually harassed or viciously bullied.

i don't think joking about harming bigots is some grand moral wrong, but it's often just gratuitous in a way where... are you actually expressing outrage or are you using the performance of outrage to get followers? what if that outrage is directly putting people in danger (e.g, if you find a terf with 45 followers + start sending her death threats, is that helping anyone or is it potentially provoking more violence, which you know full well you will NOT be the primary target of). i can see how this behavior can result in members of certain groups defending you, because if nobody has shown their willingness to defend you, isn't it refreshing to see someone who will? it's not so simple, either, cuz i do think ppl who do this do CARE, but i'm not sure the way that they care is sustainable or would hold up to a real, complex situation where allyship is needed.

it's so contextual + i'm not arrogant enough to pretend like i'm the one who can see the context right 100% of the time. this is a little sappy but i feel like the difference is whether the root of the anger is love/hope or if its fulfilling your own desire to lash out/release tension/look good. like "i'm pissed because i care about my trans siblings + it hurts me to see them treated this way + nobody else is saying shit for them so i'm stepping up" vs "raging online meets a need in me that i'm not willing to acknowledge + here's the perfect target". not exactly that simple but sometimes u can tell someone would be a kiwifarms bro if they didn't need social capital from a different crowd, ykwim (which btw we regularly learn that certain leftists will comb through + disseminate kiwifarms shit if it fits their vibe, which is an automatic red flag to me that you only care about drama, not morals)

it reminds me of how some "callouts" are clearly written with the intention of preventing harmful people from maintaining the power to do more harm (e.g x popular artist sexts underage fans) while many others are clearly written with glee about someone turning out to be Bad (e.g x popular artist has a private twitter that i, op, SCROUNGED to find, where they say horny things about genshin impact characters)

I don’t like this passage. I think it might be the weakest passage of Aşk-ı Memnu. (Though I do like how “you” is Nihal’s father, Mehmet Rauf had a point in saying that Halit Ziya was Nihal’s father).

“Children who are about to become young girls go through a phase during which, in these fragile, delicate creatures, the indistinct bourgeoning of a life of preparation for womanhood can be seen. This phase begins with material and immaterial changes. A timidity towards others, an evasion, a wildness is noticed in the child. Within her awakens the ferocity of a kitten whose time for play has passed; she no longer holds out her hand to you with childish joy as of old; no longer nestles against you with the same old surrender; even in the way she reaches out her lips to her father there is the flood of a cold shiver; she is a little more reserved in her chatter; flushes unexpectedly when she laughs; in the air she breathes there are the waves of a new wind that gives strangeness and foreignness; then she runs away, seeks solitary corners; she thinks long and long, feels a difference in herself, but does not know its meaning, only understands that she is no longer a child. A new character trait wishes, with the force of an uncontrollable growth, to tear apart and overflow this child’s body, to come out with a powerful eruption and finally to rule. This event is a thing outside of the child’s willpower, her understanding, her choosing, that follows by itself the path of change assigned by nature. The child feels that something strange, an illness whose nature cannot be understood is moving, progressing in her body; she feels it circulating her entire identity; then in her walk, in her speech, in her laughter, in all of her relations with the outside world, there come to her fears and ineptitudes. Suddenly one thinks that something of grace and naturalness is missing in her manner. Her height seems to be taller than it ought, her body thin out of proportion; when she walks, she has the appearance of a bird with a disproportionate body, walking on its thin legs; in the way she reaches out her hand, holds her head, that old, pleasant harmony is lost. She is sentenced to a body that has deserted the demeanour particular to itself, and not yet found a demeanour to suit. There are sudden flushes among her chatter, their cause unknown, and she cannot gain victory over these worries that overflow of their own accord. Then she wishes to be away from everyone; she does not have the courage to remain next to adults, she is ashamed to remain among the children.

There are nightmares, fits in her sleep, in her night-time awakenings she thinks of death, is afraid, hides beneath the blanket and shivers.

This is such a phase that it opens up new horizons in children’s learning. Without saying anything to anyone, without having seen any clue anywhere, suddenly, by themselves, thousands of things that had not been understood until that time gain a broader explanation, and they thereby grasp many truths. How does this learning come about, through inferences, in a period of just a few months? This is impossible to describe; it may be said that the new identity that develops at this moment is the young girl’s identity; that old child’s identity has brought fresh, new wisdom, with its voice that says, ‘this is it’, has shed a magical light on the pages that have hitherto been only glanced at under clouds.

Nihal was in this phase of her life.”