I found the greatest yo momma joke

The Black Book of Jokes is the best seller for a reason. It's packed with funny jokes that will have you rolling on the floor laughing. And because it's written by an author with a great sense of humor you know that the jokes are awesome. Whether you're looking for a laugh at a party or just want to brighten up your day, The Black Book of Jokes is sure to do the trick.

When you are having a very normal day at the Secret Anomaly Research Facility

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Bilbo: I have another riddle for you, dear.

Thorin: (Deep sigh) Alright, tell me.

Bilbo: What's larger than the moon yet fits inside your house?

Thorin: (Long pause) I have no idea. What is it?

Bilbo: Yo momma.

(Wide shot of Bag End with muffled sounds of pots and pans crashing from the inside)

ash ketchum is really fucking short

hello i would like to formally point out that ash ketchum is a tiny lil boy just look at him!!

he’s a good head shorter than brock AND noticeably shorter than misty, an average height girl if not on the shorter side, comparing how tiny they look to any adult within the series:

no, this is not an error! put him next to ANY adult-sized human from any generation and he barely comes up to their chin--

all other generations he is the same height as/slightly shorter than the pokegirl:

unrelated but tell me this does not look like the face of a kid who is unironically about to start belting parry gripp like the 10 year old little shit he is /affectionate

STILL CANT GET OVER HOW SERENA IS TALLER THAN HIM OMG-- THE SCENE WHERE SHE TIPTOES TO KISS HIM?? BESTIE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN CROUCHING DOWN

poor sophocles who’s probably just hitting the 3 foot mark--

journeys is a little bit harder to decipher, goh and ash are about the same height, HOWEVER:

goh is consistently on the top bunk, guess they figured it out lol

ANYWAYS LOOK HOW FAR HE’S COME <3333

this is what you call quality character growth (pun intended).

Describing Sigmund Freud as "The Inventor of 'yo momma' jokes" at work definitely got a laugh.

My Stinker (Ron Weasley x reader)

tw puking wrote with my bestest friend ever @instantdinosaurgentlemen at 1am What the hell was that smell? It smelled like a bomb of a thousand farts had just been dropped inside the Gryffindor common room. Not just any normal farts, no… they were atomic farts. The smell was leaking from upstairs, presumably from one of the dorm rooms. There was only one man capable of making such a foul smell, and that was Ronald Bilius Weasley 🧙‍♂️. I stormed up the stairs directly to the smelly man's dorm room. I dug my nails into my palm as I formed a fist, bringing it up to bang on the door. Tempted to scream until my lungs popped, I was content with breaking the door down until someone came to open it. The door swung open revealing a green faced Harry Pottah. He had his hand over his nose and mouth and took a step back, showing the man himself (🧙‍♂️) sobbing in the corner. The horrid smell wafted in my face, a gag threatening to escape from my throat. My focus shifted between Ron and Harry, dread washing over my body. “What the FLIP is going on? Why does Ron smell like the smelliest, dirtiest sock that has ever graced this god awful planet?” My eyes began to water as I walked over to Ron. God…he was somehow still so dashingly handsome despite smelling so bad. Yet my face continued to pale. Harry coughed, my attention reaching back to him. “It was… Fred..and Gorge…one of their..pr-” Harry threw up on the floor in front of me. Ew. I wasn’t going to be able to erase that image from my mind for weeks. “One of their bloody pranks, it was. Now I smell like a dead cat that’s been rotting under a house all summer..” I watched as he curled in on himself. 

“Bloody hell Ron...there there.” I knelt down beside the tear stained (and stench stained) Ron and pat him on the back, using every fibre of my being to not pass out and die. I looked back at Harry, grimacing at the puddle of puke on the floor. “Harry, do me a favor, would you? Find Fred and Gorge then bring them here.” was all I said, bringing my attention back to Ron as I was now starting to rub his back instead of pat. It seemed to calm him down more than the other, thank Merlin. I wasn’t sure if I could handle more puke. Harry didn’t seem to think twice as he rushed out of the room, mindful to keep the door open to let some of the stench out. “Ron.. have you tried bathing?” I asked in a soft voice, trying to be gentle with the stinker I sat next to. He looked up at me and just shook his head slowly. “You dumb, dumb idiot…Let's get you to the bathroom.” Ron nodded, pushing himself off the floor. I was reluctant to take his hand, but decided he probably needed the moral support from his stinky stench. I pushed him into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. “Sorry Ron, but it's for your own good. SHOWER NOW!!!!!!” I heard the water start running and the stench immediately started to clear up. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the boy's foolishness. One shower was all it took and they couldn’t even come to a solution as simple as that. “You’re really that dimwitted you didn’t think to shower?? You’ll be the death of me Ron Weasley.”

“Yo mama’s dimwitted.” And then they kissed.

THE END :3

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator the World Trade Center collapsed

December has taught you well with how well you handle our shenanigans. The student has truly, become the master.

I RAISED TWO CHILDREN AND HAVE MANAGED MANY AN UNRULY INTERN. I WAS QUITE WELL-VERSED TO BEGIN WITH.

THOUGH ALL CREDIT FOR TEACHING ME THE "CORRECT" PUNCHLINES. DOES INDEED FALL TO DECEMBER.

The Black Book of Jokes - Exploring the World of Adult Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Have you ever wanted to read a book that will make you laugh out loud at every page?

The Black Book of Jokes is here to provide you with the funniest, dirtiest, and most outrageous jokes that will make your day. This book contains a collection of funny jokes that are sure to bring a smile to your face.

From hilarious jokes for adults to dark humor and everything in between, this book is sure to provide you with plenty of laughs.

Whether you're looking for something light-hearted or something a bit more risqué, "The Black Book of Jokes" by Vasil Vyagov has something for everyone. So grab a copy and get ready for some fun!

My life revolves around “your mom” jokes.

I find that I can’t have a conversation these days without making at least one. And it’s interesting when you do it that often, because I swear 80% of the time the response is “Hah! You’re not wrong!” And I think that’s both sad, and hilarious.

The best ones are the ones I tell to my brother. For obvious reasons. Irony keeps my blood flowing.

Harsh Freudian burn.

MIKE DID WHAT TO SCOTT’S MOM?!

Your mama so france they called her eiffel tower