I can’t believe I found people who think about this the exact same way as I do. I don’t get these hardcore buddie stans who suddenly try to make it look like buckTommy shipper are the toxic ones. I haven’t seen a single BuckTommy shipper who was rude without a reason (maybe a bit defensive about their CANON ship). Whereas I’ve seen plenty of incredibly toxic buddie stans who insult everyone who doesn’t ship their ship or share their opinions.

Another thing and don’t get me wrong Im not defending anyone. But I’ve seen many people heavily bullying the marisol actress because she’s apparently homophobic (not saying she isn’t or is) and wanting her to be gone beacause of this reason but totally ignore the alleged racism of ryan (again not saying he is racist or not, i dont know them personally) just because he is part of their beloved ship. By their logic Ryan should leave the show too.

Hey anon, it took me some time to answer your ask (chaotic life stuff lol) but I’m glad to finally have time to talk about this first part with you.

I’ll preface by saying I won’t get involved in actor drama, no matter how true or toxic it is because I don’t have enough information nor am I qualified to talk about the issues they mishandled. I’ll just say that, no matter who does bad things, they should be held accountable.

Okay, back to the main point: yes, it’s very strange how b*ddie st*ns are behaving towards the canon bi!buck thing. Both with people who ship bucktommy but also with the creators and actors on the show. Regardless if they are right or not about b*ddie being canon, this is not how you act with entertainment, specially with the people giving the content.

I hate to bash but it looks and sounds a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get a specific toy.

And toddlers only throw tantrums because they are brand new humans who are learning how to behave. They don’t know any better so they react with outbursts and repeated demands because it’s the only way they know to get the attention of the person taking care of them.

If I’m not mistaken, the main audience for the show is 18-45. NO ONE here should be yelling in comment sections “we want buddie! we want buddie! we want buddie!” as if they would immediately get it. It’s not how it works and it’s frankly embarrassing to see a bunch of adults acting like that for everyone to see.

And I can’t stress it enough, I’m not putting myself on a high ground here and saying I’m a better person by shipping bucktommy, as I’m sure there might be a percentage of fans out there being rude and annoying as well. But at least I’m keeping my conscience clear by not acting like me shipping two characters is something big enough in my life to ruin my enjoyment of a whole show in case my favorite ship doesn’t become canon.

I hate how fandoms behave as if they can have control over the content they are consuming. We aren’t entitled to anything and if there is supposed to be ANY discourse about which character was supposed to end with, that should happen AFTER the show ended! The story isn’t over yet! So why are b*ddie st*ns so stressed? If a show is making you this angry and demanding, please step aside a little, give it some distance because that’s not how consuming content is supposed to make you feel.

And I say that last part with sincerity because I too got way too involved with fandom discourse in the past, to the point that I had to distance myself from certain shows because being that involved made me upset.

Im just tired at this point you know. Im trying to protect myself as much as possible. Im not in the bird app, I don’t follow the show or the actors on social media, im avoiding interviews like the plague. All I want from this experience is to watch the show, gather my thoughts, form my opinions, log onto tumblr and reblog the cute stuff I see about my favorite ship without having to worry about whatever the hell is going on outside my pretty little bubble

Exciting news! After failing to get through to the D&I lead that I was reporting a reputational issue about hostility towards GC views, not a personal grievance, my manager actually listened to me and was shocked that I wasn’t being taken seriously. He raised it with our HR lead, who was also shocked by the whole saga, and she’s now forming a plan with others in HR. My manager also spoke to someone pretty high up and he’s confident she’s taking it pretty seriously and has said she’s going to do some work to try to resolve it.

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

Rant about the Taz Skylar situation and celebrities in political matters in general

So, I’ve seen a lot of opinions regarding this matter and I wanna share mine.

I believe we’ve reached a point in which we feel entitled to knowing celebrities’ opinions on every matter and make a lot of assumptions when we don’t get them. People forget celebrities, especially actors, are NOT working on political fields and what they give out are OPINIONS. They are regular people who base their opinions on what they read, see, hear. Just like all of us.

Sure, if a celebrity shares an opinion you don’t agree with you have every right to unfollow them, but we need to remember that, in the end, their words are not to be taken as facts or put in pedestals.

Taz could have many reasons not to share his stance on the genocide, and this doesn’t mean that we can assume which side he is on.

I understand the “neutral is taking a side”. But I don’t believe it applies in this case. Taz was not trying to make a political statement, not even proclaiming himself as neutral. People are the ones assuming this. We have no way of knowing what he actually thinks and he has every right to keep that to himself. If this is enough for you to want to unfollow him, go ahead. That is respectable. But we can’t force him to give his stance on the matter when his job could be compromised.

Also, he is actually raising money to help several causes. Including the people affected in Palestine. Which I’m sure is a lot more than most people who comment are doing.

Celebrities can’t share their stances and views on every single matter. And we can’t force them to. We shouldn’t. If you ask and they decide not to answer, there’s a reason. Just because they don’t openly say what they think doesn’t mean they’re not doing something to help. If we applied this way of thinking for everything, then we’d all have to have active and open opinions on EVERYTHING. And that is unfair as well as unrealistic.

If Taz or any other celebrity openly decides to talk about this matter and they turn out to be zionists, of course I will be one of the people unfollowing them and removing my support. But I will not assume what their stance is if they don’t share it, even if I would love to know. Because I’m not entitled to knowing.

Taz is just a person. And what he thinks is his own. If he decides to share, then we can decide if we want to support him or not. But until that happens, stop forcing him to give out his opinion.

Because celebrities’ opinions ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT. Yes, they can be powerful, they can influence. But only if we take them so seriously.

Someone just said that Anthony Lockwood is not a people pleaser and I’d like to dive into why I personally think he is. 

Fair warning: this is just my opinion on my psych evaluations of his character as someone who is a chronic people pleaser and has gone to therapy for it. I’m also an actor so it’s literally my job to figure out why characters tick for the portrayal of them on stage or screen. this is a fictional character so don’t attack me lol.

you’re obviously entitled to your own opinion but I just wanted to give mine :)

!!!SOME BOOK SPOILERS!!!

the deep dive below the cut

Okay so he may seem to most people like a narcissistic character type (from people telling me that that’s what they think) but from what I see is more that he craves to be seen and heard and wants others to feel the same, and does anything even if it hurts others (like the tv public appearance) to satisfy it the craving of being loved and accepted and believed that he’s right whether he agrees with it himself or not. I do think there’s a lot more from the childhood trauma that affects him also to be a hero, and to have a saviour complex almost because he’d rather die a hero and let others live than the pain of himself losing more people. so yes that’s the main part of what his character’s made up of but he still is a people pleaser.

He has the urge to make sure people (like Lucy) feel heard and seen (because that’s all he’s ever wanted), and when for example she says she talked to the skull you can tell he has this internal battle because he wants her to feel pleased with his answer, and even though it’s an unbelievable phenomenon he chooses to hear her and make her feel seen the way he’s always wanted for himself. People pleasers stem when your needs are not met, (if it be from emotionally unavailable parents or like Lockwood, his parents physically weren’t there for him to have his needs met by them and I think he wants to make them proud due to their deaths and always craving more attention and love because he never got enough due to his situation) and you’re left to your own devices to figure out how to not rock the boat yourself when its metaphorically already in a storm. its almost like he cant say no to Lucy or disagree because she meets some of his needs when he’s agreeable. which I can relate to finding people who meet your needs because they're paying attention to you (like George says you “because you like the way she looks at you”) and that’s why he gives her 100% of his devotion, and acceptance and love, hoping she’ll at lest give 1%. (I’m not saying though that Lucy give 1% that’s just how people pleasers work)

I think though with Lockwood and George, George just doesn't have the capacity to give Lockwood what he so desperately wants, at least to the degree he wants, so he turns to Lucy when she’s in the picture. he even at the funeral was like ‘oh my god its Penelope Fittes!!!’ internally looking for validation of what he did. 

Lastly people pleasers can be selfish. I’ve seen it in myself a lot, and people I know and have been told as to why talking to my therapist. Like my ex best friend is a people pleaser, and she got a boyfriend and because he started giving her the validation and “love” she so desperately wanted, she forgot about me and the rest of her friends. she traded us because she found someone who can give her what's she’s craving more at the moment, and clinging onto it for dear life instead of dealing with why she wants that so badly. like I said with the tv interview with the Annabel case and with him calling Lucy an asset, because he wants to be one so bad and have the spotlight for that validation so badly. I will funnily say this is why a lot of people want to be actors, or in the entertainment industry, because there’s a higher chance someone will watch them and praise them for their work.

if you’ve made it this far thanks for listening :)))

I think it's a slippery slope to use "abuse victim" when violence is so engrained into Cybertronian culture in general. Like, we have definitions of abuse in human contexts - but when is punishment considered too excessive to strong, powerful, robotic aliens that can have their parts swapped out? It's cyclical abusive violence to us, but what is it actually to them? It's one thing to say Megatron has more power, but Starscream also comes from a place of privilege. Megatron (as a gladiator) learned to resolve conflict through violence. Violence is very much something that gives him value and identity. Starscream came from a position where he looked down on people like Megatron, and likely this entitlement and privilege still serves him/motivates him to think he should have what Megatron has through whatever means. Violence is worth it if he gets what he wants in the end. To me, this doesn't fit the abuser/victim dynamic because they both have something to hold over the other. I'm curious as to your opinion, because to me it's literally two fucked up people fighting over power and control.

I’m not sure whether you’re referring to ‘abuse victim’ in the context of Megatron or Starscream, because I think I said they both were at different points…or if you meant just the term in general. Sorry. But overall, I’ll see what I can explain!

The whole culture is just fucked up. I mean, Megatron growing up where violence was widely accepted and expected of him doesn’t mean he was any less mistreated by the people who put him in that position. The whole point of his battle for reform was to eradicate that sort of mistreatment, but he perpetuates it even further. Groups within Cybertronian society are aware that the violence and mistreatment is bad…so they are aware to some extent that abuse is real. And it’s very similar to what Starscream went through. Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s right, sort of thing.

And obviously, yes, humans are going to view the show from a human lens. And considering the human input that is canon in the show, I don’t think it’s far off to interpret things that way.

It’s not a slippery slope to use abuse victim in my opinion — I think it’s more harmful to deny it. The relationship is incredibly complicated, sure, and it’s not your cookie-cutter representation on what abuse has been popularly portrayed to be. But you can piece your body together, again and again, by virtue of being mechanical and robotic and still suffer the long-lasting effects the mistreatment caused you. Abuse victims aren’t defined by how well they can recover from its effects, or if they experience them at all. It’s about what objectively happened. Which in this case is multiple beatings and verbal humiliation. (Edit: Starscream was also hospitalized for a considerable time, and Knock Out stated that Starscream’s antique construction made it difficult to provide replacement parts. So in certain cases it’s not as simple as swapping out parts.)

Megatron was dealt very similar controlling, violent mistreatment within the gladiatorial ring and energon mines, so though violence is all he knows, there’s also a part of him that knows it’s wrong. His whole Galvatron arc In Megatron’s case, when he realizes what he was doing was wrong. And generally, he makes himself the oppressor so that he can’t be oppressed by others again.

Again, if Megatron can be a victim of unjust circumstances, and both the narrative and the fanbase can accept that, then so can Starscream. (Again I wasn’t sure which one you were referring to, or if you meant the term in general. But by wide consensus abuse does exist in the TF universe)

As for the privilege bit. Yes, Starscream was privileged on Cybertron before the war. But unless I missed something in the books, I believe Starscream operates under a more, ‘I inherently deserve power for myself, and I use my achievements to enforce that’, rather than a strictly classist worldview. He uses everything from frame type, his past positions, his strategic experience, etc. to portray himself as more qualified, and if he can’t portray himself as such, he’ll try to prove people wrong. That’s my personal interpretation of the character, anyway; I can use canon to support my theory if you’d like. I would genuinely appreciate hearing you flesh out the privilege bit more, because while I don’t deny its previous existence, I have complicated feelings about how much it still influences the relationship when Starscream is so far removed from his actual position of privilege. (Being commander doesn’t really count; his life is still dictated at Megatron’s discretion). I could only see his position of power leveling the playing field when they are on Cybertron, where he has an armada to enforce his otherwise empty title.

Starscream is 100% an entitled brat who gets on Megatron’s (and everyone else’s) nerves. But he’s viewed as more of a nuisance than a threat. Because he doesn’t have anything to support his claims of grandeur. He doesn’t actually have anything to hold over Megatron’s head…anymore, at least. That’s when the situation devolves into an imbalance.

But I see how that conclusion could be made, since I know he’s prejudiced against pretty much everything that isn’t a high-class energon seeker (and even then, I’m pretty sure he would find an excuse to deem himself superior. lol.)

But seriously, if I missed something about where that happens, I’d like to hear about it.

It absolutely is two people fighting for power and control. Overall in their relationship, they’ve managed to one-up each other at some point or another. But Megatron outclasses Starscream in many areas that align with abuse criteria (?? not really sure what to call it). His influence and power over the Decepticon army only enforce his physical might. If Starscream were to abandon the cause, Megatron would have no issue ordering his termination and capture…it would only depend on Starscream’s evasiveness whether that were to occur. Power imbalances are key factors in abusive relationships: inability to escape, fight back, reach out to others. And with how human-like other Cybertronian traits are, I don’t see how abuse would be viewed as drastically different.

Again this is all my opinion and interpretation. I have evidence to support if you’d like but nothing is set in stone.

This was fucking horribly written I’m so sorry anon, lol. But if you’d like to explain your viewpoint more I’d love to hear it and help expand on my own as well, since I don’t think I did this answer justice. And thank you for my first ask :)

Re: mb5 sneaky.

I think it’s important to note that y/n *wants* to be a stay at home wife. And while the expectation for her to have dinner on the table every night when he comes home isn’t reasonable, they are in a relationship, so when she commits to doing something, that’s her version of “pulling her weight” in the relationship. It has to feel balanced for both of them. He makes good money and really doesn’t ask a lot of her. And it isn’t just an agreement for sex — they’re choosing to be exclusive and build a life together romantically. So I think that’s what’s really tough:( because shit happens. She got distracted!!! Lord knows I’ve done that!!!! I think Harry is justified in being a bit upset. But I also think it’s completely appropriate for y/n to bite back at his reaction. His tone and demeanor are not okay. Bestie this angst felt ALL too real:(

The way you’ve written their two points of view is so brilliantly done that it makes you understand both sides. And it makes you feel for both of them. Because it does give this vibe, like, um, excuse me? Not your housewife? But also understanding why Harry would be so frustrated. It’s so real.

The fact of the matter is that they are both wrong and they are both right. Real relationships are complex like this. It’s not all black and white. And you’ve managed to ride that delicate balance perfectly? And then her feeling sad that her pet name is being associated with an unpleasant experience? So real, oh my heart felt that one 🥺

Also mentioning that she had wondered what it would take to push him to his limits? Because he’s been so patient. And then this moment where she sees it coming. The contrast in the way he greets her. She’s watching him really lose composure and unravel for the first time. And how scary it is to be on the receiving end. And to feel like she’s the reason for it. But she still stood up for herself? I love her? I don’t think people give mb y/n enough credit! Like she’s so soft but she’s not going to be kicked around?

Truly it’s just the way Harry is presenting himself that’s wrong. Him coming off as a little entitled and her calling him out on it is a beautiful way to show her little fire. I think it’s interesting—because personally I feel like the fact that it’s happening in the kitchen is what makes it so easy to misconstrue as misogyny, which heightens our reaction to it. But the reality is it’s about following through. Her pulling her weight. In a different environment, it might not feel so extreme. It’s just about doing what you said you’d do. But I feel like this could leave to some really great makeup sex 😵‍💫

So anyway this hit different for sure 😭

Also hiii, first ask not on anon 🙈

- 💌

bestie :((( you're so kind. ily. and your analysis makes me so so happy.

i love love love your take on things! i hope that when i post the full part that more context will smooth things out!!! all of this is so beautifully written, i don't have much else to add apart from my gratitude honestly!! the time you always take to leave feedback and share your thoughts never goes unappreciated. your opinion means so so so much to me. i feel so lucky to have you <3

and yes the makeup sex will be super yummy :DDDD

AND SO PROUD OF YOU FOR COMING OFF ANON BESTIE <333

https://www.tumblr.com/laf-outloud/744966830492434432/its-funny-that-its-always-hellersaascockles

To be fair, some of those who are complaining about Mark P going to the con are con-goers, and some fairly frequent. But, that still doesn’t give them the right to try dictate who a con hires. Also, unless the guys is actually hurting people, him having different politics than them does not actually make him a criminal. There is too much entitlement to the notion that “if you don’t believe exactly what I’d do, you’re mean, bad, evil.” If you don’t want to see a specific actor at a con, for whatever reason, you have 2 simple options, don’t go to that con, or don’t go to any of that actors panels/activities. It’s really that simple.

I also think people are free to make their complaints, but trying to rally people to pile on is just .. borderline creepy to me. It’s very much the idea that it’s okay to have mob mentality and railroad people as long as they are the “right” people to hate. That’s never been a bad thing historically, right?

Anyway, any actor who brings in good money, will be welcomed back, barring legal action or wide-spread negative press (not write-ups on Screen Rant or, like, Fan Girl’s Weekly).

I don’t even really like Mark P, but I’m more indifferent to him than anything else. But I have a feeling his “bullying” was probably provoked by the brave kind of fan girls who feel justified in hating on people they don’t agree with, and then running and crying when they get slapped for it (metaphorically). It was easy to just not go to his panels. I strongly dislike misha, but I haven’t written to CE asking them to can him.

Also, if anyone should be banned from anything it’s Emmie. She went to like every Jake and Chill, so she thinks she’s his friend or something. And she kept adding her opinions and trying to monopolize Jake’s attention in the event I went to. I didn’t actually pay to hear a childish fan girl talk, thanks.

You make some excellent points, anon! And yes, people do have the right to contact Creation and let them know about their personal wants for cons, but they also have to be careful because if they make claims that get an actor dismissed from cons, and those claims turn out to be false, then the actor may have a legal case for slander, especially if it hurts their reputation/income.

And to add, ugh... I can't imagine being at an event where someone takes over like that and basically ruins it for everyone else, including the actor, who I'm sure would like to pay attention to the other attendees. (I also recall she's the same one who went crying to Jim and the other cast when she was bullied out of Jai's group. That kind of attention-seeking is toxic and unhealthy for all involved.)

Re: The most ridiculous posts I saw talking about how

1. the gods would “probably hate trans activists” (contradicting an even earlier post of this user’s that said they didnt like how people used the gods to further political agendas).

And 2. that people you disagree with are still pagans and should be allowed to be part of the community.

And anyways Im not linking the tumblr because I dont want to give them any kind of attention, but I wanted to talk about the posts themselves. Here’s your warning for some talk about terfs, alt-right, etc.

First I’ll address this person’s second point. And I’ll say yes. People who are on the far right, terfs, you name it, are still pagans, or Christians, or whatever spiritual path they choose to follow. Religion and spirituality, (and witchcraft to add that in for the sake of this argument), are inherently neutral things. They can be used to further good or to harm depending on the intent of the individual (or group).

And frankly it does no good to say “so-and-so isnt a real pagan/etc because xyz” because its almost a guarantee that they will turn and point at you with their own reasons why you arent the real one. (no true scotsman…).

What matters here is acknowledging that bad people and people with agendas will be in every group, even if by partaking they are being highly hypocritical. These things dont stop them from worshipping the gods, these things dont stop them from experiencing the gods or their own UPG.

What matters is that despite them being pagans it does NOT mean that they are free from the social consequences if they spout harmful beliefs or engage in harmful actions.

If a community deems your actions/beliefs as harmful, its within their right to exclude you to protect themselves. (And an aside, this is the internet. No one truly speaks for the whole, and with the amount of communities within communities within communities, you’ll find like-minded individuals eventually). But if youre so pressed to be a part of the “broader community,” perhaps its time to do some introspection and consider what it is about what youre doing that makes people unwilling to have you around.

If Jill starts talking shit every time she goes to the Sunday Night Sewing Group because she doesn’t like that Becca and Amy decided to go off-pattern, she shouldn’t be surprised if the group kicks her out because they didn’t want to deal with her toxic behavior.

And, look. I personally believe compassion and respect at an individual level is important to have for people, especially if youre trying to get through to them. But that doesnt mean those people are entitled to receive that from the whole group.

>

That brings me to address the first point. Im not even going to get into the transphobia part. This is where I laugh, because this person started their post like “I dont want to speak for the gods, but—”

Then DONT. Don’t speak for the gods. We can make inferences and form our own opinions based on the texts about them, but no one truly knows for certain what they feel.

All we know with even semi-certainty is the gods are often depicted as fickle, and that their stories were written down by humans and which change frequently over the ages. For all we know, the gods want the exact opposite of what we think. Its even bold to assume they would even care about anything humans do.

“Well I just think so-and-so deity wouldnt like this because theyre the god/dess of x and—”

No.

That’s your opinion, and youre applying it to a deity in order to validate your own beliefs, plain and simple.

Do not do this then complain that others do the same thing.

Do not use your opinion of a god’s feelings to justify treating other people badly.

All of the asks that didn't get responses were from the very first few chapters. Maybe 1-5. It would have been late 2022 or early 2023 as that's when I binge read it. I looked at Wicked's masterlist, and I found the story around Chapters 14/15 I think. It was around the time of them training her to fight and the fight itself. I remember you responding to the ask that I sent in shortly after JK and OC got together (I can't remember the chapter number). I asked if the story was winding down now that the two main leads were together, and you replied no that it still had a ways to go. I don't think there is a way to see what asks I've sent in. I wish there were. Tumblr eats too many asks. It would be nice to have them saved in a place so they can be resubmitted.

I don't review anonymously. I always put as much thought as I can possibly put into my review, and I stand by everything I say in my reviews 100%. So I feel no need to review anonymously.

I don't think it's entitlement to ask for interaction with your readers. I think it's just nice to have readers that want to interact with you as a writer. That's why I said there is nothing better to me than when a writer wants to talk to me about their work. I've made a few writer friends on tumblr and they've bounced ideas for their stories off me several times. I always give my honest opinions on their ideas. I like interacting with them. But I do also agree with you on the part that you do this because you chose to. Because you like doing it. And interaction can't be demanded. Is it nice to receive it, yes. But it shouldn't be mandatory to leave a review on everything you read. Sometimes I read something that I really enjoyed, but I don't have anything to really say about it in a review. I'm not the type of reviewer to just say "oh this was really great, I loved it." You'll never see me do that type of review. lol When I review, I like to write book length reviews, and to write a book length review, I need to have a lot of thoughts and feelings on what I read. Some stories/chapters, I just don't have a lot of thoughts and feelings on, so it's hard for me to leave a lengthy review. So I just choose not to. Doesn't mean I don't like it. But I do always leave a like at the very least, and sometimes a short comment.

I always tell writers to write for themselves. I know it's an overused expression, but it's true. As long as you like what you wrote, then nothing else matters. It doesn't matter if 2 people reviewed it or 100 people. The important part is whether you like it. Some writers on tumblr are happy with 50 likes and a couple comments. Others want 2,000 likes. There's nothing wrong with either option. The writer just needs to figure out what level of interaction they're satisfied with. If they don't hit that, they shouldn't be disappointed. It doesn't mean their work isn't good.

I completely understand what you’re saying, I don’t really have much to say myself though. Other then I think I’m just in a really weird slump and already struggling with other things, writing use to come so much easier to me when I was younger, but the older I get the more it becomes a mental chore, which I hate! Because I still love witting and I always will.

I’m sure we have all read fics at some point and not left a review, I think it’s inevitable, but my vocalizing was directed at people who are avid readers, who do binge read an insane amount of fanfiction and have nothing to say, even if they thoroughly enjoyed it, I’m just venting personal frustration because at some point when you know you have thousands of people reading, it’s disheartening to see.

But I do chose to write for myself, I have been a big advocate of this advice my entire stint as a writer; but it doesn’t make taking it any easier, especially when it has been years of continually being disappointed and having to repeat it, there is no right or wrong way to want something. I guess for the longest time I just didn’t understand why writers retired from this website.

But I’m almost at that point myself now, and I fully understand the way they felt and their love of writing slowly fading, at least in this context. Anyways I do appreciate your words and your thoughts! Thanks for reading and supporting my blog because I truly do appreciate it

If there’s anything that Encanto has taught us, it’s that real human internal conflicts and struggles that comes with being a family can be JUST as interesting as a big scary villain, a big adventure, or a character’s life at stake.

I’ve seen a lot….and I mean a LOT of people say they were disappointed when they first saw the movie, because a lot of people were expecting a big adventure, twists and turns, or a villain. While I can’t fault people for having their expectations raised, ESPECIALLY how Disney advertised the film, it does bother me when people go “There was no adventure, nothing exciting happens, therefor the film is bad!”, because yes, you’re entitled to your opinion, and I can understand where you’re coming from, however, just because there were “no high stakes”, as people claim, doesn’t make the film automatically bad.

Regardless of what you expected or how Disney advertised it, the point of Encanto is that it’s a CHARACTER driven story, and for those who don’t know what that is, it’s a story where the CHARACTERS themselves and the relationships between one another drive the story forward, rather than a big event. The film is all about the characters, who they are, how they feel, and how they interact with one another, in good and bad situations. It’s about family, and the pros and cons that come with it, especially generational trauma, and how it can affect someone. The truth is yes, this story all takes place in one location, there’s no villain, there’s no big adventure, but that’s not a BAD thing, in fact, it’s one of the movie’s strengths in my eyes. If you’re a person who isn’t interested in cinema where it’s just about the characters, their relationships and struggles, that’s fine, but to me, I think we all need a break from a big action movie, or a “everyone could die!” movie, or even a “wait, YOU were the bad guy???” movie. People seem to forget that to tell a good story, you need to have good characters, interesting characters that you would want to follow around, to see more of, to be INVESTED in, so why not have a family film just about the characters themselves? The human mind is just as scary as ANY villain, that’s my motto. For me personally, I for one love that this film has no villain, because the REAL villain is our own demons we have, our own imperfections, our flaws, our hardships, our mistakes. It’s so interesting to see how these characters bounce off of one another, what their struggles are, and most importantly, how they cope with it, wether it be in a healthy or unhealthy way. I’m so invested in the Madrigal family that I would gladly watch ANYTHING with them, because they’re all interesting characters, and as long as you the audience member find the characters intriguing enough to like them or want to follow them and get invested in, then the film is doing something right.

I do want to give my thoughts on some of the feedback regarding the film in this department though, because I’m not going to lie, I disagree, or don’t see the issue with all of them. For starters, the whole “there’s no adventure!”- one. Like I said above, I don’t blame people for saying this, because the trailer DID make it look like there was going to be one, even though the setting is in the casita, and a little bit of the village. However, even though the film takes place in the house, the house itself is HUGE! It’s magical, we literally get to see huge rooms, and various locations with all kinds of different colors and aesthetics. That’s one of the things I love about the film, because even though it all takes place in ONE location, it was able to represent what Columbia looks and feels like. Also, you don’t need a big adventure to have a good movie, same goes for a villain, because you don’t need to have a villain all the time, in fact, people who complain about not having a villain miss the point of the film. Their IS no villain! If you want to watch a story about an adventure and a villain, then this movie isn’t for you, but that doesn’t mean it’s BAD. And finally, the biggest complaint is “there’s no stakes!”, and this is the one that ticked me off the most because……there actually ARE stakes, just not the one’s you’d think. There are two main stakes in Encanto, the first and obvious one is that the family miracle is DYING, ergo they all lose their powers. To you as an audience member, maybe it’s not a big stake, but to the CHARACTERS, it is. The miracle is literally the most important thing in this story, their gifts, their matriarch, their reputation. If they lose the miracle, they lose everything! Everything that they had been taught to love, to value. The second stake, is the fear of if you mess up in this family, if you’re not of value, you are looked down upon by Alma. THAT’S why everyone never wanted to disappoint her, that’s why Isabela and Luisa were afraid of her when she yelled at Mirabel, that’s why Bruno and Mirabel felt awful about not helping the family. These two stakes are the main things that drive the story forward, so a big risk doesn’t always need to be a character’s LIFE on the line. Again, this movie is about the CHARACTERS, and how they feel!

So as I have said, your opinion is valid. If you found the movie boring, that’s okay! However, please know that their doesn’t always need to be a villain, their doesn’t always need to be an adventure, their doesn’t always need to be a deadly stake to make a good and compelling story. If I’m being honest, I feel like people who say the opposite, who complain out the film not having a villain or an adventure are just SO used to watching the old formulaic Disney movies that always had a simple good vs. evil plot and always flat out TOLD you everything without letting it’s audience think or feel for themselves. It always felt like part of the Encanto fandom, or at least people who miss the point of what the movie is trying to be, just can’t handle the concept of COMPLEX characters and complex themes. I know it sounds petty yes, but it’s how I feel. If you don’t like the movie, that’s okay as well! But like I said before, if you want to watch a film about a big adventure with a villain and high stakes, then this film is NOT for you, that’s all I can say.

Why can't people just ship and let others ship without calling each other pedophile or slurs?

They are the fandom equivalent of Chris Sonnenburg... Stalking, harassing, and telling other fans that they are wrong for not catering to someone else's personal preferences… It all reeks of entitlement and egoism.

I can't be the only one to see the parallels.

Many of these people are not even aware of how hypocritical they sound when they make these kinds of baseless accusations. It gives off the impression of “Do as I say, not as I do.”…

I’m open about liking Varipunzel. Canonically they have roughly a 4 year age gap. By the end of TtS Varian is 16 or 17. (Some people think season 3 was longer than a year.) So according to a few bossy people in the fandom, I should feel ashamed if I age him up a year or two for a post series plot? I’m also a terrible person if I enjoy the ship in AU’s where canon ages don’t apply to anyone. There is no winning here… People will look at me badly regardless of if my intent is pure or not... So why should I care? Why should I let them taint something that I enjoy?

So if we as a fandom can’t age Varian up to ship him in AU’s then... Hmm...

Boy do I have some bad news for Varigo shippers in this case. Hugo and Varian canonically have a 10 year age gap between their respective source materials. So the Vat7K AU would be deemed immoral based on the fandom’s self imposed shipping guidelines. I doubt they would take this well at all. Haha

All I gotta say is that people need to stop with these double standards. Feign obliviousness, make excuses all day, but don’t act righteous like some kind of saint. Since everyone is bound to like something that other people would deem weird or questionable in some way. You just might not be aware of it yet.

Even widely praised canon pairings like New Dream have glaring red flags. Things that wouldn’t fly very well IRL, but they work in fiction because you have transparency. Yes, I’m being serious… Think about how Rapunzel was fresh out of the tower and had no baseline on what healthy relationships with other people should be like. It would have been easy for her to get manipulated or taken advantage of. So when people say New Dream’s age gap is okay because Rapunzel is legal, they are ignoring the fact that she has less world experience than the average 18 year old. This is a common oversight in the community. I like New Dream and even I can admit that this is a bit sketchy.

The point I’m trying to make is that every single ship has faults. No pairing is going to be loved by everyone. We should cherish our individuality and learn to be more open minded and supportive. Even to those who think differently. I'm certain that with some patience we can come to some kind of understanding of one another.

So yeah, it’s perfectly reasonable to dislike something that doesn’t appeal to you for any reason. Go forth and write full on essays or analysis posts. Do some research to try to see if you are actually right, or simple vent your personal frustrations out into the void. Just don’t be mean or make ignorant assumptions about other fans who do not share your opinions. Since there is a fine line between being a critic and being a hater.

I want to first start off with that I’m not here to argue your opinion, but to just give some clarification/insight on the show.

You are entitled to your own opinion and I’m not trying to change it. I just want you to give the show another chance.

I’ve broken talking points down to sections so it’s easier to read :)

The main issue I saw that you had is that the cruise arc added nothing to the story and it was just a waste of time. However it gave a lot of insight on Yor’s character, which is something the audience had very little of up until this point. The cruise arc allowed us to see her emotional growth, since the start of the series she truly cares about the Forger Family and her role within it. The lady she was protecting (I forgot her name) allowed Yor to reflect and see what she has. It at blank told the audience that the family is no longer “just a cover” and I really appreciated seeing this side of Yor and getting to know more of her character. Is the arc long? Yes for sure, but it allows for the show not to be rushed. Then also with Twilight, you see that he cannot physically relax even for a moment and how much he is trying to make it a good vacation for Anya it tells you where he is at as a character. Then you know, love the Anya hijinks as usual but it also allows the audience to see how exactly she uses her powers to help people (in this case keeping her family together), but also where her priorities lie (she doesn’t want her family to get split apart, she cares about her family’s safety, she kinda feels bad/thinks it funny that Twilight can’t have fun). TLDR: The cruise arc allows us to see the emotional journey of the characters. Character growth if just as important as story progression.

Along the note with you not liking the ending episode of the season, someone else worded it better than I am now but it ties up the theme of role of the family. I would elaborate but I can’t word things for shit.

With all the hinting, it will come up in later episodes. I am caught up on the manga and it does address the things you wanted to know, more about. You should definitely read the manga if you want the story to go at a quicker pace, it’s not done yet however the most recent arcs have my heart and I think you’ll really like them.

I know it seems like the show is not moving fast enough, but that’s kind of the point. Operation Strix, is a long term mission so the story will be a slow burn. The show allows for messages and themes to be woven within the episodes. And as stated before emotional growth of the characters is so important to a show like SpyXFamily. But I implore you to look deeper into the show than just surface level, reading the analysis on this app made me love the show even more. I would recommend you some good accounts for analysis, but I don’t know them off the top of my head. But if you ask later, I can definitely send some.

I will not be defending the Becky episode, I was also extremely uncomfortable watching and reading it.

And again you are entitled to your own opinion, I’m not shaming you for your opinion. SpyXFamily isn’t for everyone, but I wanted to at least give you another angle.

From your criticisms, it sounds like you would like shows with a quicker pace and for that I recommend “Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood”

Also you can watch SpyXFamily on regular Hulu if you don’t want to pay for Crunchyroll premium

Hope you found this insightful and not insulting :)

Hello!

Your right in pretty much everything but let me clarify one thing. I thought I said in my post that Yors arc was the best thing about season two where there is character development. If I explained it wrong, I apologize, but the cruise arc was amazing!

Im slowly learning why Spy x Family is paced the way it is and that's because I was unaware about the Manga that is (I think?) Three seasons ahead. I just finger that since there are probably no easy way to get them in English that it would not be worth investing in at the moment (I don't know if it has been translated I'm not sure.)

So yeah, a lot of this information is new to me. I'm still invested in the story and I DO want to watch it long term...but I think waiting another year for only 12 episodes is not worth the wait if I'm being honest. And I know how that feels. I waited 9 months for Jojo part 6 (part 2) and yeah, that sucked honestly. I just think waiting a year is not worth the episode output, which is why I'm worried there going to drag this show out for much longer then they need it to be.

Full metal alchemist is on my radar, trust me. I just haven't gotten to it yet and I heard great things about it! It's just I wanted more Spy x Family because I love the concept a whole lot...but I feel like I got barely anything from the show this year and that's why it kind of stings in a sense.

I hope this made more sense.

That “licensed professional’s” take on Gwyn made me feel a little ick. I was expecting an objective, unbiased and professional review of the situation because they threw in their credentials but it didn’t present itself that way at all when they couldn’t even write out Gwyn’s name. I was expecting a proper case study—maybe not a full on review of the case but something a bit more “professional and objective.” Taking out Gwyn’s name showed clear bias and clearly was not from an objective standpoint at all. Again, the only reason I expected something unbiased and objective was because they waved around their credentials.

Some people need to chill. It’s fiction. Enjoy it for what it is, FICTION. That doesn’t mean you can’t apply reality to it because that’s why some things resonate so wonderfully with us but never forget that it is FICTION. Why the hell do you think there are disclaimers in fictional works of art?

The OP actually ended up commenting on the first post I wrote (the one where I debated whether I wanted to actually write my argument to their post) and I do appreciate that they showed genuine interest in why I was bothered by it. They also offered to take the post down (which was considerate of them but as it's been re-blogged, it wouldn't doing any good at this point). They are absolutely entitled to write as many Pro E/riel and Anti Gwynriel posts as they want. But.....I think there are some concerns with claiming that something is their professional opinion while giving a very biased opinion. At that point, someone is not really taking their medical professional as seriously as they should. Because therapists are supposed to be pretty objective and showing an obvious bias towards once ship is the farthest thing from objective. As soon as personal preference comes into play then your professional opinion should not. I'm no medical professional but I would truly be shocked to find that anyone who was a therapist and truly objective to this series would believe that Az and Elain are ready for physical intimacy (I'm not talking about casual sex but sex out of love) when you consider the fact that he rarely sees her at dinners because he's been avoiding her, the fact that she felt the need to lie to him about giving him his gift, that her hands shake around him, he doesn’t think she has any idea who he really is, and that he hasn't thought of her beyond his sexual fantasies while assuming Gwyn who is completely comfortable around Az after only knowing him a few months and who is playful around him, indicates a less realistic possibility within a future 800 + page book. Yes, I'm obviously Pro Elucien and Pro Gwynriel and my opinion is possibly skewed but.....the only reasons people are going to believe me is if they can see the things I'm seeing because of how I'm presenting my case. I'm no-one to anyone . But if I suddenly told you I had a Doctorate in Psychiatry then suddenly, those people are going to be blinded by my flashy degree and believe that my word holds more authority than most. It's just the way a lot of us tend to operate. And that can be sort of dangerous when claiming that a characters recovery from SA won't be very realistic if done a certain way. There's a lot of people that claim SJM has a responsibility to get things right but she is a fantasy fiction writer and what she writes about really shouldn't be given much weight. Her purpose is to entertain us. Yes, one would hope she doesn't completely butcher a sensitive subject but I don't think she has when it comes to Gwyn, regardless of where her journey goes from here. However, a medical professional is someone we ARE supposed to believe. Which is why, when giving an opinion, it's important to leave your credentials out of it unless you can honestly say you're not showing favoritism to one side.

I think what bothers me the most about this whole insane push back against people who are purchasing and playing “Hogwart’s Legacy”, is the same thing that bothers me about the overall tone of the trans movement, and trans activists in particular. 

First, though, let me say, I’m not in any way, shape, or form against transgender people.  Whatever gender you feel like you are, or want to be, you’re 100% entitled to claim yourself as such.  And yes, you deserve and are entitled to every right which is provided to any other person.

But what bothers me about trans activists in particular is the unmitigated judgemental attitudes directed toward people who don’t at all deserve it.  The hostility and harassment and bullying of people online and in real life for daring to have differing views and differing feelings on any topic dealing with the transgender issue.  This whole situation with the Harry Potter game is like a microcosom of the overall problem.  These activists think they’re fighting for transgender rights and making the world a better place for trans people, but what they’re really doing is creating a divide, and often a vicious and deeply resentful divide between them (a very, VERY small minority, if we’re actually assessing how many people genuinely suffer from the mental condition known as body dysmorphia) and the far greater majority.  There’s a reason general acceptance of the LGBT+ community is at it’s lowest since the 1980s, and it has everything to do with so called activists trying to force feed their views and their agenda’s and their opinions down everyone else’ throat, to the point of telling anyone, ANYONE who disagrees with them on any issue that they’re a bad person.  Not just bad, but morally reprehensible, vile, worthless, disgusting, etc, etc...  Going so far as to tell anyone who disagrees with them that they should kill themselves, even.  And don’t try to tell me that doesn’t happen.  I see it routinely online, and have been subjected to it myself numerous times. 

I promise you that 99% of the people who are playing “Howarts Legacy” are good people.  People who feel no kind of hostility or malicious intent towards anyone who’s trans.  But to see the reaction of trans activists towards these people for daring to enjoy a piece of media which, at best, gives a paltry sum of money to a woman who is already a billionaire several times over, you would think the people playing this video game were Hitler himself. 

Frankly, it’s disgusting.  And it’s also incredibly ill advised.  This game is selling in droves, and these people who are bullying and harassing people online for playing, these people who are going out of their way to spoil the game and bad mouth and stalk and verbally assault people who are playing it, or even just expressing any kind of interest in it, all they’re accomplishing is making the game more popular.  It’s not selling less because they’re going around trying to make people feel morally inferior for buying and playing this game.  It’s selling MORE.  And that’s, again, a microcosom of the overall damage these hostile activists are actually doing to the trans movement in general.  Because I see so many of these people going on and on about how there’s an actively hostile movement among law makers to take away their rights.  But why do they think that is?  By and large, before this whole explosion of woke culture which has inundated and poisoned the West, nobody really gave a damn one way or the other about what anyone chose to do with their bodies, whether they wanted to be thought of as a man or a woman, whether they were gay, or straight, or whatever else.  Most people were overwhelmingly accepting and laid back about the whole thing.  You live your life, I’ll live mine.

Of course there are always exceptions.  Of course there were and continue to be hate crimes committed against the LGBT community.  But it was never a majority of people.  I’d wager to say most people just didn’t have time, and STILL don’t have time, to give a shit about other people’s personal lives and choices, too busy worrying about their own, and how they’re going to keep the lights on and keep food on the table in the coming months.

But see, here’s the problem.  When you start telling people who may think differently than you about certain issues that they’re bad people, and that their views make them vile scum, then you’ve created and are feeding an ideological divide, creating tension and animosity and hostility where it simply didn’t exist before.  And you’re crazy and ignorant if you think the politicians who are advocating for bills that limit the rights of transgender people actually give a damn about any of that.  They don’t.  What they care about it appealing to whoever their voters are so they can stay in power.  So they’re going to say whatever they think their voters want to hear.  And guess what?  When you tell people online and in general that they’re bad people and that they should die because they don’t agree with you that a transgender woman is a real woman, or because they think you should have to be a legal adult before getting any kind of surgery done to transition to the opposite sex, or because they don’t think biological men and women should be allowed to compete in sports against the opposite sex, when you make people feel like they’re being ATTACKED for who they are and what they believe, you’re going to create ENEMIES for yourself.  And that’s exactly what these extremist trans activists have done.  They’ve created their own enemies.  All the legislation that’s currently under debate to limit trans rights is a direct result of these activists trying to force the rest of the world to conform to their world view.  People are sick of being attacked, sick of being made to feel like they’re lesser morally or intellectually, sick of being harassed and bullied and treated like they’re somehow inferior, and the people that they, understandably, are going to blame for being made to feel that way is the trans community itself.  Because it’s these wailing activists that have decided to co-op the movement and who have sullied its image to a point that will take literal decades to undo the damage.  Of course the vast majority of trans people aren’t like this.  They just want to live their lives in peace, just like everyone else.  They don’t go around harassing people online, they don’t go around bullying people for thinking or feeling differently than them.  They don’t go out of their way to pass moral judgment on others and demand special treatment instead of equal treatment.  They don’t want or need to force anyone to conform to their world view or even their view of themselves.  They’re fine with being who they are, and they’re fine with everyone else being who THEY are.

It’s just the deranged and narcissistic online activists that have decided that anyone who doesn’t conform to their view of the world and of themselves needs to be tarred and feathered, figuratively speaking, to have their reputations destroyed and in some cases, their actual livelihoods. 

Well, and I think people need to stand up against it and fight it, otherwise it’s never going to stop.  People need to speak up and let their feelings be known, or we’re all just going to have to keep putting up with this insanity.

It’s not okay to shit on other people just because they don’t agree with you, or because they’ve done something you personally disagree with or disapprove of.  That’s not anyone’s right.  It’s not anyone’s right, beyond the actual LAW, to tell anyone what they can and can’t do.  It’s not anyone’s right to tell anyone that they’re right or wrong for believing differently, or living differently than them.  It’s not anyone’s right to assume moral authority on anything that, again, isn’t written into law.  Society doesn’t revolve around these people.  The world doesn’t revolve around them.  The universe doesn’t adhere to their wants and desires. 

Anyway, that’s all I’ll say on the subject.  I won’t get pulled into any sort of discussion or argument here.  I just wanted to say my peace and end it there.  I’m just disenchanted and deeply disappointed at the direction that our culture is headed.  It’s become a culture of deeper and more hateful intolerance than ever before, it seems to me.  And the tragic irony of it all is that it’s the very groups who, historically, have been the targets of such intolerance that are now perpetrating it themselves. 

History never teaches us anything, it seems.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself in the position of reassuring fandom people (observers, creators, writers) and. I’m going to say it all here - and I want you all to take a deep breath - deep, in and out, maybe a good four or so times - and listen.

Opinions from antis don’t matter - especially when they enter into your space, that you made for yourself and your fandom friends. They really don’t.

Do you know why so many of us oldies love ao3? It’s that marvelous tagging system. Tags are like the warning colors on a poisonous frog okay? The person who ignores all the things they don’t like in the tags, who jumps in and then gets upset - because they don’t like the ship, or the content, or they don’t like au’s or plots/timelines deviating from canon, or they don’t like OCs or SI’s, they don’t like XYZ-cest, etc - that person does not matter.

If they leave a rude or combative or argumentative comment - well cool, bro they are entitled to their opinion but that opinion has no bearing on what the creator is doing in their story. At all. That comment can be deleted, that person can be blocked or just flat out ignored. They’re shouting into a void of relative anonymity on the internet and I cannot emphasize exactly how little that actually matters at the end of the day.

I’m certainly not going to apologize for liking what I like. I’m here to have fun. “Your fav is problematic” hell yeah, my fav is problematic - it makes them interesting. I don’t care that you don’t like them? Why should I care if you don’t like the things I like? I don’t like gray colored cars - I think most of them are ugly. My opinion doesn’t matter to a person who likes the gray car they’re driving? There is absolutely no reason my opinion should matter to them at all.

If my neighbor across the street has tacky colored curtains in her windows, am I entitled to thinking they’re tacky? Heck yes.

Am I entitled to walk into her house uninvited and then throw a tantrum because her living room decor is hella tacky? Uh no. No I’m not. Friends listen - those ugly-ass curtains are my first and only necessary clue telling me we are not gonna agree on style choices.

Besides, my neighbor doesn’t get to bitch at me because I have a two foot tall tin rooster sculpture on my back porch. If my neighbor feels like telling me it’s tacky - “well ok? What’s your point? It’s my rooster”.

So if I’m scrolling on ao3 and see something tagged with a ship or topic I don’t like, y’all I’m gonna give it a miss. Just. Skip right over it. It’s not my sandbox - which is another thing.

You used to see in disclaimers from older fandom sites something to the effect of “I’m just playing in [XYZ author]’s sandbox”. I really love that, because at the end of the day, we are all here to have fun. If you’re not having fun, that’s totally ok!! You can go home, you don’t have to share this sandbox with other people! That is 110% alright to take your bucket and go dig somewhere else! No one is going to build the same sandcastle. This is what curating your experience on the internet and in fandom is ALL ABOUT. If you’re not having fun - if you’re uncomfortable or unhappy, it’s ok to move on. It’s good and healthy to move on!!!

To keep with the sandbox metaphor:

We’re all here to have fun. If someone says something in a fandom space (discord, twitter, tumblr, ao3, literally anywhere), and it makes you upset - you need to put a little distance between you and that situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s an anti or someone super hard-line about their favorite RPF boyband shipflavor. If you get more than passingly annoyed, and you can’t set it aside, then it’s time to go home for the day. Come back tomorrow to hang out. It’s okay. It really, really is.

I’ve seen some authors and artists who let aggressive commenters drive them away and it’s really heartbreaking. Fandom spaces are weird and fringey and goofy and fun and expressive. It’s so fascinating - it’s a space where a lot of people who create in it are doing so with no expectation of compensation beyond the pleasure of the creative act and (maybe, hopefully, joyfully) other people will appreciate the thing they made. So while we’re here, let’s go over another point:

1) The creator doesn’t owe you anything.

2) People invading your creative space with rude criticisms or demanding comments about your update schedules do not matter.

As a person creating fanworks - I am so happy when I get notes or kudos or comments or questions!!! It helps keep me creative! It helps cheer me up on a really bad day!! They’re wonderful.

But you’re not paying me to make stuff for you. You didn’t purchase a product or service from me. We didn’t enter into any sort of contractual arrangement. I am literally not beholden to you at all.

Authors and creators don’t owe you anything. If you decide you don’t like something about their work or art or even things more personal - politics, opinions, car colors, whatever - that. Is. OKAY. It’s so totally okay. That means you get to move on to something or someone you like more! You are not beholden as a reader or as a creator!!!

Look. Do I enjoy fanworks tagged parental!Roy in the fma fandom? Heck yes - I eat up found family like a starving woman who’s never seen a buffet in her life. Do I enjoy fanworks tagged Roy/Ed in the fma fandom? Hell yes - absurdly intelligent people with trauma and daddy issues is catnip for me. I don’t have any problems separating these two in my head. They’re different genres. Do I also love Ed/Win ships in the fma fandom - hard yes, there’s something nostalgic and whole-grain sweet that is for sure my cup of tea. Do I also love Win/Pan ships? Chaotic girlfriends 210% yes. What about Havoc/Al? Eh. Not really my jam, I tend to give that a miss. Ed/Envy? Nah, that’s a hard no for me. Does this mean I’m going to go into a fic with tags I’m not interested in or actively dislike and read or interact with it anyway?

Uh no. No I’m not.

But what about if it just pops up in a fic and it wasn’t tagged and I wasn’t expecting it?

Well - that’s a little inconvenient for me as a reader, but. Beyond leaving a polite comment asking the author to consider tagging the significant thing I didn’t like, I just. Stop reading. And move on.

That’s it. That’s all that should happen.

Oftentimes the best thing you can do is just. Let. It. Go. If you’re not having fun in the sandbox anymore just go play in a different one - go home, go hang out with other people. But just. Let it go.

Same thing applies to comments - someone drops a comment in your inbox that they really hate xyz and they want you to know they’re upset about it? Just delete the comment. You are not their therapist. You’re not their meatspace friend. At the end of the day, the person who submitted their comment is an anonymous person to you, and it’s not your job to manage their feelings or their discomfort. You don’t have to be an asshole about it - trigger warnings are a thing - but, conversely, they don’t have to be an asshole about it either.

This post is getting a bit long. But please - the salient point is that you should be having fun in your creative spaces out there, you have no reason to feel ashamed of the things that make you happy or bring you joy.

Antis don’t matter at the end of the day. Let them die mad about it. Just have fun playing in the sandbox.