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tech-obssessed-shark · 5 months

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the autistic urge to act like that ONE character in your ONE hyperfication in a way that you just want to absorb their personality and mannerisms

#Yes im talking about you #Insert various favorite characters across multiple series #Autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #yipeeee

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shinypenguinpizza · 9 months

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Theres people who consistently like my posts and reblogs that ive never actually talked to but i want you guys to know you are legally my mutuals. Sorry i dont make the rules

#yes im talking about you #and you #you as well

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ayumunoya · 4 months

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Seems to me that I am just completely obsessed with something/someone or just so disinterested I forget they exist.

#yes im talking about you #where the fuck are you #h #i am so incredibly selfish of a person I now start to understand why I hate myself sometimes #i used to be kind and generous #well what the hell #personal

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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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jarcheyevist · 1 month

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im not technically in the closet

people be like: come out already we know youre gay

just like gimme a sec to figure out what gay i am okay listen its not in the closet if i dont even know for sure

#ok maybe girls are pretty #just because i have short hair doesnt mean im gay #shhh #smh #go snuggle with your boyfriend or somethin #yes im talking about you

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wonbie · 4 months

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can you stop trying to get into everyones business?? like its really getting annoying. i wouldn't even be surprised if you found what you're probably looking for right now

#ꪆৎ secret ！#like pls #have some respect #yes im talking about YOU

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cream-torch · 10 months

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This is THE movie of all times

#yes im talking about you #spider man: across the spider verse #srsly why have i waited this long to see it #why did no one make an intervention #its just as if not more incredibly stunning as tge firsts one #i wanna eat it

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cemeterything · 8 months

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i like the concept of the angelic hierarchy but i do think it'd be really funny if angels were real and it turned out to be total bullshit like the time that guy came up with a hierarchical social structure for wolves that everyone lost their minds over and then a few years later was like "wait guys i was wrong"

#🐉#angels #yes im talking about the alpha/beta/omega thing but i think its funnier if you just Know what i mean without me saying it explicitly

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deep-space-lines · 1 month

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okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

#my art #my writing #who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life)#i dont know what this even is #i just work here #disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like.#most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis #so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps #i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction #if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #blood #love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor

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softbeanofexistentialcrisis · 1 year

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hey to all new people that followed me!! let's play a little game of please either like and reblog something or update your name and pfp to something otherwise i wouldn't know if you're a bot and WILL just block you hahahah!!!

#this is the 3rd follower I've got today #that doesn't have ANYTHING on their blog #king.#please.#yes im talking about you #the thing is they've followed SO MANY dsmp accounts??#im like are you a bot that is curated to follow dsmp blogs or what is this eh #misc.

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wildlyabstruse · 2 years

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if my ex could do me a favor and disappear from my life once and for all that would be dope

but no, this mf wanna keep emailing me despite his email being blocked and me repetitively telling him to fuck off and leave me alone.

probably reading this rn fucking weirdo.

should’ve gotten a restraining order when i had the chance

have fun trying to contact me now bc you’re extra blocked

#yes im talking about you #stalker #I HATE YOU #disrespectful as fuck #surviving narcissism #had to disable my anons and everything #smh #the TRAUMA

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piromina · 1 month

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me writing fanfiction

#memes #fanfiction #ao3 #well um yes this is about 'to defy a reality' what else #*looks at all my other fics* yeah....no other possible suspect for this meme #NO ONE else is experiencing trauma like these characters #what do you mean their all the same characters im writing abt #HAHAHAHAHAHA #HAHAHAHAHA whats this Oprah meme doing hre #no. really #im literally not. doing that to my characters.#hahaha what is she talking abt EVERYONE IGNORE HER

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romansmartini · 4 months

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can we hold hands and listen to this together

#good omens #SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE.#aziraphale calling crowley dear boy ... aziraphale drunk voice ... aziraphale interrupting with meaningless facts and pissing crowley off #the bird spaceship in particular SOOO FUNNY #“what bird 🤨😐” “thebirdimtalkingabout” aziraphale said ARE YOU TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS. YES OR NO.#also love to hear the story about the bird. happened to my buddy twelve #i had a lot to say but i had to clip this so many times i forgor. give me stuff to talk about im ready for that #wait i remembered. aziraphale talking about the kraken and the “yeah?” “Fact.” oh god crowley wants him so bad

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knife-filled-plushies · 6 months

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i love these two so i decided to doodle them hsjfhskfj

tiny bit of style experimentation

#pastel doodles!#sun and moon show #tsams #the sun and moon show #tsams forkface #forkface #ruin monty #tsams ruin monty #forkface x ruin monty #as an added note i'd like to think their relationship is relatively simple #they just like each other-like being with each other-enjoying one another's company #ruin monty talks and forky listens #it was basically a 'i like you' 'so we dating now?' 'cool'#they love each other on a very simple and sweet level #am i talking about a relationship that has never fully been onscreen? yes and im not ashamed of it #i love them hjfhsf #still sad that ruin monty died before we could see them together :(

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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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Trans dude whose favourite NFL team are the Packers

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #trans meme #do NOT talk NFL with me though because i don't care for american football #i know how the game generally goes but i was a band kid #my friend was an angel for reminding me about this #im now a Packers fan just because of how meta this is holy shit #ngl though wisconsin does not feel like a real state and i always forget it exists #actually anything too north or deep in the midwest just doesn't seem real to me #actually this is goving me an existential crisis because what do you MEAN these states are actually real #(yes i know these states are real and i have always known they exist. i just never hear shit from them so i always forgor they exist)#i wonder if people do that with my state (insert [REDACTED] state)

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