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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

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geejaysmith · 2 years

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Further Arcane Thoughts

A follow-up to @ cielos-cambalache ‘s ask, presented in Comedically Disjointed Fashion.

What is it with the ancillary media surrounding League of Legends being, like... good?

I am terrifically torn between wanting to understand this world and these characters, and "do not tell me anything about League of Legends".

For all I know League of Legends has no reason to be more maligned than any other Heated Online Multiplayer Gaming affair (except that Riot Games is a ridiculously toxic workplace with a now-years-long history of sexual harassment, discrimination, and abuse against employees) but also, dunking on it for no reason is fun.

Ekko is so fucking cool and he should be proud of what he and the other Firelights have built. Also kid!Ekko is so precious, I am cry ;a;

All of the women in this show are insanely hot.

As An Older Sister, I want to hug Jinx and tell her she isn't broken and that she is worthy of love and that her past doesn't need to define her. But also, as an audience member, I Love Angst. And Jinx is good at Causing Angst. I love her.

Speaking of angst and Jinx and Vi's Family Drama: super-excited for the possibility of Warwick making a future appearance!

Watch me drop way too much money on a Jinx nendoroid some time in the next 6 to 8 weeks.

I have some disjointed pre-thoughts about the recurring motif of "protagonist sets off explosion right as people with designs against them are attempting to break down a door", which are right now in the phase of pointing that out and going "yup, that's a thing. Not sure what to make of it yet but that sure is a thing."

I think I may actually just need to start taking notes or making a flowchart to keep track of all the Political Machinations happening, good lord.

Me, gesticulating frantically in Kat's DMs about how no, actually, Zaun's layout as a physical place actually makes perfect sense, the cinematography is mostly just focused on maintaining the Feel of the place as opposed to explicitly laying out geographic continuity for the viewer.

I am making a Chart.

All of the women in this show are insanely hot.

I cross-referenced which characters in Arcane are also playable in-game and it led to some interesting discoveries.

1. So on first viewing, my immediate thought about every new Hextech device Viktor and Jayce showed Heimerdinger Yoda’s Fursona was “Hm! Well, these technological marvels will surely never be used as weapons (and definitely not by law enforcement cracking down on dissendents against the state)”, and then later had the realization that yes, all of those devices appear to be used in-game by player characters as their Signature Weapons - even the one that didn’t get used in the raid on the Shimmer plant.

2. I am surprised that Ambessa Medarda isn’t a playable character, and extremely concerned for Mel’s immediate wellbeing after learning that she isn’t one either.

3. So the mage that saved Jayce and his mom isn’t just Some Wizard Who Sure Was There Super Randomly And Then Was Never Mentioned Again. But then again if you have no familiarity with LoL you have no way to know that, so it’s infinitely funnier to just picture him being like

Above meme is also applicable to the Council’s Super Hostile Attitude About Magic, incidentally.

I still have no idea why Jayce and his mom were in Antarctica though. Again, Do Not Try To Tell Me About League Of Legends, but what was up with that?

I can’t believe Yoda’s Fursona has a first name and it’s fucking Cecil.

He looks like his name would be Cecil, tbh.

Semi-related: I know the Creepy Bald Mad Scientist is named Singed, but it’s funnier to call him Magic Steroid Hilbert.

All of the women in this show are insanely hot, and I for one would be super down to be one of the twinks giving Ambessa a Sensual Naked Hot Tub Massage.

As a teenager, Vi went toe-to-toe with, what, about half-dozen of Silco’s goons? All of whom were both larger than her and armed. And right up until the Magic Steroids got involved, she had them handled! Love her.

Given Vi’s full first name is Violet... did her and Powder’s parents name them after their hair colors?

How common is natural blue/pink hair, anyway? How does that work, genetically?

Hey Marcus, I get you’re a fucking cop, and also that you immediately grokked that ratting Vander’s kids out to Silco made you a card-carrying member of the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party but what the actual fuck made you think it was any degree of okay to stick a teenager whose family you just helped get killed in a dark hole without even recording that she was being held there??

It’s kind of funny, you know, that Jinx’s Corruption Arc begins and ends the same way? She reflexively takes action to protect her sister, and ends up killing her adoptive family in the process. Even happens in the same place, to boot.

And with Marcus on the bridge, she’s even 3 for 3 for Dad Murder! Collateral Dad-mage, if you will. I hope Mr. Kiramman wasn’t home when she snatched Caitlyn...

Jinx quotes “Be what they fear, Jinx” to mock Silco but she really does do a good job of becoming an Unsettling Figure. I personally am a big fan of her blank-eyed staredown response to attempts to intimidate her and the way she’ll soundlessly appear the fuck out of nowhere and you will absolutely not notice her until she wants to be noticed.

I should really do a shot-by-shot comparison of the opening scene of episode 1 vs. Jinx walking down the same bridge after exploding all those cops...

You know it’s also kind of funny that she is so good at stealth when her signature weapons are bombs and a minigun.

#gill watches arcane

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crimsonandcloverwrites · 3 years

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bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

#bhah

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salexectrian-heir · 3 years

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messages from last night update

chapter below the cut | ao3 link

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1ST 4:57 AM

[Joker] Hi

[Joker] Story time

[✧ Oracle ✧] i see yusuke returned ur phone

[Joker] Aha, yeah. After swearing on my life I would not make any more poor life choices

[Joker] I assume that was your doing

[✧ Oracle ✧] ur welcome

[Joker] Hmm well I might not have sworn hard enough

[✧ Oracle ✧] ???

[Joker] bet you 500 yen you can’t guess where I woke up this morning (without hacking my location)

[✧ Oracle ✧] oh god akira… jail?

[✧ Oracle ✧] again??!

[Joker] No

[Joker] Better

[✧ Oracle ✧] !!?

[Joker] On the catwalk of the auditorium

[✧ Oracle ✧] BRUH

[✧ Oracle ✧] didnt yusuke like walk u home???

[Joker] He did

[Joker] I just didn’t stay home after

[✧ Oracle ✧] (-_-;)・・・

[✧ Oracle ✧] but don’t they lock up the buildings at night….

[Joker] ...

[✧ Oracle ✧] also i’m p sure catwalks are at least fifteen meters in the air??

[Joker] ...

[Joker] I am surprisingly still very dexterous while intoxicated

[✧ Oracle ✧] o m g

[✧ Oracle ✧] what possessed u to sneak out of the dorm, pick a lock, scale scaffolding, and fall asleep on a metal beam is / literally / beyond me

[Joker] Me too, It's all very...fuzzy after getting back to the dorms

[Joker] Maybe I was a cat in a past life

[✧ Oracle ✧] cat!kira

[✧ Oracle ✧] congrats u now have a fursona to add to your growing list of ‘sonas

[Joker] Cat!kira go prrr?

[✧ Oracle ✧] HAHAH a self-drag?

[✧ Oracle ✧] Someone truly is hungover and regretting his life choices

[Joker] Jokes aside, all that flexibility training I did in hs apparently paid off

[Joker] I have no new bruises or injuries that I am aware of so I made it up in one piece. Somehow.

[✧ Oracle ✧] wait hold up I thot all that “training” u’d say u were doing was just like horny akira code for “going to mess around with Sumi after school”

[✧ Oracle ✧] don’t tell me u actually were doing gymnastics with her that whole time

[Joker] Okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] ????

[Joker] You literally just told me not to tell you

[✧ Oracle ✧] but was i right?! i NEED to kno if i was right

[Joker] Haha yes and no

[Joker] We did both

[Joker] is typing...

[✧ Oracle ✧] oKAY OKAY OKAY NO DETAILS (SAVE THOSE FOR ANN)

[✧ Oracle ✧] JUST CONFIRMATION THANK U next

[Joker] You have written fanfic more explicit than anything I could ever tell you I’ve done, AND I PROOF READ IT FOR YOU

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•//д//•)ノ [ok true]

[✧ Oracle ✧] but

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•̀//д//•́)ノ

[Joker] Ik Ik, I’m teasing. I won’t corrupt your virginal ears

[✧ Oracle ✧] /anyway/ people r gonna be mad jealous when they find out u dated an olympic gymnast

[Joker] She wasn’t one when we dated though so technically I didn’t

[Joker] She found out she qualified shortly before we went back to being just friends

[Joker] I think we’re both much happier this way

[✧ Oracle ✧] Obviously. you still talk to her??

[Joker] Yeah

[Joker] We caught up before the semester started

[Joker] She said she was nervous, but that’s to be expected when you’re on the global stage. Aside from that she’s fitting in really well with her new teammates. She just wishes Kasumi could have been a part of it

[✧ Oracle ✧] </3

[Joker] Yeah :( </3

[Joker] But she’s good

[Joker] Still calls me senpai though...which idk how to feel about that

[✧ Oracle ✧] lol its ~cute~

[Joker] Hmm leaning towards don’t think so

[✧ Oracle ✧] “oh ~senpai~ you’ll still watch me compete in the olympics on TV right?”

[Joker] ...did you listen in on the call

[✧ Oracle ✧] no

[Joker] “no,” she lied like a liar (I know you still have my phone bugged damn it)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1ST 5:01 AM

[✧ Oracle ✧] *kicks down the door to the thieves den*

[✧ Oracle ✧] INARI U FAILED

[✧ Oracle ✧] GUESS WHERE AKIRA IS

[✧ Oracle ✧] (hint: not where he’s supposed 2 be)

[Fox] Preposterous! He was safely returned to his dorm room. I personally put him to bed.

[Panther] you stayed over in their dorm room Fox… isn’t he in there w/you??

[Fox] is typing...

[Fox] Ah. It appears that I am in his bed and Akira is indeed missing. I was on the floor when we went to sleep. I have no recollection of this transfer.

[Fox] I have awoken Ryuji but all he has done is throw his possessions at me in an attempt to silence my “pestering” so I do not think he will be of any help in this situation.

[Joker] Don’t bother with him Fox. He isn’t responsive until at least 9am after a night out.

[Joker] Also, why aren’t the rest of you sleeping?

[Panther] Joker! you’re alive!!! are you okay???????

[Joker] Define okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles*

[Panther] where are you?!?

[Joker] You aren’t going to guess?

[Panther] jail?

[Fox] Please let it not be true your detective arrested you last night, and you are suffering in incarceration as we type.

[Joker] Why is jail everyone’s first guess? I was only arrested once!

[Joker] Fuck

[Joker] Also, he is not “my” detective

[Fox] is typing…

[✧ Oracle ✧] u sure about that

[Joker] Oh no

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls reread our messages from last night

[Joker] Oh GOD

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles louder*

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can’t wait to hear what inari is about to dish out

[Panther] wait what did akira say to you @ ✧ Oracle ✧?!

[Joker] Futaba please *softly* don’t

[Fox] Last night I had to relieve you of your phone before you texted the detective prince incriminating evidence of your state of inebriation and infatuation. You were adamant that you had to send him a picture of a cat as a token of your feelings, which I objected as the image you selected was not flattering of the cat. I may have just met you a few days ago, so please tell me if I am overstepping my bounds, but I do not think sending hideous pictures of cats is a wise way of winning over this man’s affections.

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls show us the picture he wanted to send

[Fox]

[Panther] Hahahah oh akira

[✧ Oracle ✧]

[Joker] …

[Joker] I’ll be staying at this undisclosed location until further notice

[Panther] no Akira!!! seriously where are you??

[Joker] the_view_is_nice.image

[Panther] :O

[Panther] how did you get up that high???

[✧ Oracle ✧] gymnastics training

[Panther] huh? i didn’t know you were a gymnast Akira!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] im sure he’ll tell u all about it now

[Joker] -____-

[Fox] I cannot believe I failed my first mission as the Chosen One.

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can

[Fox] is typing…

[Panther] @ ✧ Oracle ✧!!!!!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] kek

[Fox] I am an utter disgrace to this friendship. How can I even call this a friendship when I have done nothing but leech from the kindness you all have bestowed upon me. How will I ever be able to show my face among you, those whom I have failed. I must atone for the shame I have wrought.

[Joker] You didn’t fail @ Fox, and you are not a disgrace. It was my fault. I was the shitty friend in this situation. I’ll make it up to everyone, and to you Fox. I’ll think of something.

[Fox] Food would suffice.

[Joker] Dinner for a week it is.

[Fox] Delightful!

[Panther] wow he got over that fast

[✧ Oracle ✧] welcome to being friends with Inari, the path of forgiveness is through his stomach

***

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1st 5:07 AM

[Joker] Slight problem

[Joker] I actually have no idea how to get down

[✧ Oracle ✧] u really r part f*cking cat

***

Regrettably, some of his life choices last night did him no favors.

Mistakes had been made. Limits and Lessons had been learned. Unfortunately the hard way.

After miraculously finding a way down off the catwalk without injury into his dorm shower and a fresh set of clothes, Akira managed to show up for his opening shift at Big Bang Blends ten minutes early.

Haru took one look at him when he slinked into the kitchen and immediately said, “Oh dear.”

Akira spun a damp curl around his finger. “That bad, huh?”

“Uhm.” Haru offered him a wobbling, pitiful smile. “You kind of look like how I would imagine a cat that got caught outside in the rain might feel.”

He let out a self-deprecating chuckle and wandered over to the apron rack. “Fair comparison.” Selecting his off its hook, he pulled it over his head. “I’d add on that the cat also got stuck in a tree and developed a splitting migraine.”

“I know just the thing that’ll sort you out!” Haru hovered over to Akira’s side. “Whenever I--” she paused, considering her words with a finger to her lip, “overindulge,” she settled on with a giggle, “I’ll make myself a cup of my special tea. It instantly clears my head and calms my stomach.”

Akira’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. “ Special tea ?”

Haru nodded vigorously. “It works like a charm! And I’m not just saying that because I drink it, I have a friend--well, I might be overstepping if I were to call him that, we aren’t that close,” Haru sighed, “but I make it for him too when he occasionally stumbles in here in a similar state.”

“Do I want to know what’s in it?” he asked hesitantly.

Haru beamed brightly at him. “No.”

Akira groaned.

“I promise it’ll work,” Haru said, wandering out of the kitchen and over to her collection of loose leaf teas that were displayed in clear, sealed jars behind the counter. She called back to him, “You’ll perk up in no time!”

He gave her a weak thumbs up.

Picking up the task list from the side of the walk in freezer, he resigned himself to his fate of ingesting whatever the fuck concotion Haru was going to feed him. It couldn’t have been worse than what he drank last night. In all honesty, he would have been feeling way, way, worse if Yusuke hadn’t convinced him to drink so much water when they got back. Akira would like to think the fact he wasn’t curled up on the floor in the fetal position on the cafe floor was also thanks in part to the Amazake he had chosen to drink the night prior too. But the thought of the non-alcoholic sake made his stomach churn harder so he stopped that train of thought immediately, and focused on setting up the dining area. His head felt like it weighed five pounds heavier than it usually did, which made moving it a bit of a hassle, but he had the opening sheet to finish before the cafe opened and he’d damn himself if he didn’t deliver.

What his stomach did seem safe to think about was luck stats, and that maybe Futaba was onto something when she had made that off hand comment in their chat last night. Akira was incredibly lucky to have landed two bosses ( three if he counted Sojiro but the man was more like a father than he ever was a boss) who cared more about his well being as a person than as a source of cheap labor. Watching Haru make his tea as he flipped chairs down off the tables only amplified his guilt of showing up before her utterly and unmistakably hungover.

Being the sloppy friend did not sit well with Akira.

He swore to himself as he pushed in the last chair he took down that this was the first and last time he ever did anything as stupid and irresponsible as he did last night. Not to mention, his luck wouldn’t last if he kept this up. He’d make it up to everyone somehow, and Haru in particular now. He wouldn’t let his current state impact his work.

And once he stopped feeling like dogshit and could form a coherent argument, he was going to have a long, hard talk with whichever one of his personas decided it would be great fucking idea to drink so much, scale the interior of the theatre, and fall asleep on a steel beam no greater than sixty centimeters in width. Because honestly, what the fuck ?

Even In high school, his “peak stupidity” years, he hadn’t done anything as dumb as this.

Okay, well, that was a lie.

He had done a lot of stupid, often illegal things (see: petty theft, breaking and entering) in high school that to him, had been justified. He was quite gifted at stealing and knew his way around a lock with professional proficiency, and he had gotten away with it unscathed for a very long time.

Except for the whole getting arrested and put on probation thing , which ironically had been for a crime he didn’t actually commit.

“It’s ready!”

“Thanks, Haru.”

Akira swung by the to-go counter reaching for the mystery tea waiting for him and continued on.

After thirty minutes of sipping on whatever miracle cure Haru brewed as he checked off the morning set up tasks, it fucking kicked in. The mind fog and nausea disappeared almost entirely, settling his stomach enough that he was able to keep down some Advil and melon pan with Haru for breakfast. Akira could handle the headache until the medicine took over.

He just couldn’t move too fast or too sudden (Akira was still a little too off balance for that), or turn his neck sharply (thanks to what he had drunkenly decided to use as a pillow the night before). But he powered through it as he set about stocking the various coffee beans in their containers.

The last item on the task sheet they completed together. Prepping the food items for the pastry case with all of the baked goods Haru had made the night before. In addition to mochi, goma dango, and other pastries one would expect to enjoy with tea and coffee, there was always some kind of cake. Meticulously and lovingly decorated, sliced by hand that Haru showcased in her cake display. Today’s selection was a daring one, a pink lemonade cake with delicately applied ombre pink frosting and topped with candied lemon slices that were evenly spaced, each sitting on an artful dollop of whipped white icing.

“Did you want to try a piece, Akira-kun?”

Akira glanced over from where he was sliding a tray of nerikiri into the case. A plate with a modest slice was being extended to him. Eyeing the color up close, his stomach protested. Apparently still a little too hungover to test the limits of his digestive tract with such an extravagant confection.

“It looks amazing, but I think I’ll stick to the melon pan this time Haru.”

“I can always save it for la--”

A sharp series of knocks interrupted their conversation.

From his position squatting on the floor, he checked the time on his phone. There were still five minutes until the cafe officially opened for the day. Haru had warned him there were always a few people who showed up early and failed to read the sign.

“I’ll get it,” Akira sighed, sliding the door of the pastry case shut. “You finish with the cake. I’ll handle our impatient caffeine addict.”

“Oh don’t worry the cake’s all done, I just cut the last slice.” Haru waved Akira off. “I can get him.”

Him?

He hastily straightened up, brushing a few stray sugary crumbs off his apron and immediately looked over at the entrance. Every muscle in his body seized up. Waiting outside the glass doors was one impeccably dressed and restless looking Akechi Goro. Akechi rolled his shoulder, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag while he checked his phone.

The message Akira sent Akechi last night intrusively echoed in his head the moment the former detective looked up and locked eyes with him. Pocketing his phone into his suit jacket (it had to be custom fit, because there was no way it could have cut his figure that well without tailoring), he lifted his chin ever so slightly. Akechi’s expression twisted wickedly into something that short circuited Akira’s brain.

Oh.

Fuck .

A war waged between two primal instincts in Akira’s body at the sight, the overwhelming urge to run in the face of danger clashing with a tidal wave of lust. The rush coursed through his veins, freezing him in place. Much like prey that had been cornered, his heart began to thrash against his ribs.

Akechi’s grin was sharp and salacious, a stark contrast to the innocent and winsome smile that the T.V. ready Prince so often wore. Akira didn’t know him all that well (... yet ), but God , that smile just seemed to suit Akechi so much better.

Akira got to witness this side of Akechi knowing it was reserved for only him for about two whole seconds before Akechi’s face changed, shifting into his composed, manufactured doll-like mask when Haru made it over to let him in.

The transformation gave Akira something pretty close to whiplash.

Really arousing whiplash.

“Good morning Akechi-san,” she greeted him, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“And same to you, Okumura-san,” he returned politely, stepping past her and into the cafe proper. “Pardon my early arrival, I have quite the busy day planned unfortunately and was hoping to get a jump start.” He brushed aside a few strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes with a gloved hand. “I hope your morning has been going well.”

“It’s barely started,” Akira muttered, reaching for a to-go cup to start Akechi’s order to busy himself with so he wouldn’t stare at the breathtakingly handsome man in front of him. His heart needed a break already.

Instead of writing Akechi’s name, he doodled a pair of handcuffs with the bold letters A and G within the negative space in each cuff (Akira admired his work for a brief moment and thought Yusuke would be proud). He marked the drink as a caramel latte, recalling what Haru had put down on his cup yesterday. Then proceeded to make a pour over instead.

Haru flipped the sign to open, and then said, “Very well, so far! I tried out a new cake recipe, you have to try it.”

Akechi laughed, and Akira’s stomach clenched--but this time in an all too pleasant way. Akira diverted his attention from grinding the beans for his drink to watch the detective ( Fuck! ) The sound was light and lyrical, and after what Akira witnessed… sounded totally out of place coming out of the same mouth that had held that smug, voracious grin a moment ago.

“As much as I would love to, I must decline. I cannot get into the habit of having cake for breakfast.”

“Then you must take a slice with you!” Haru walked past him and over to her cake display, lifting the glass lid and taking a piece out.

“Alright, if you insist,” Akechi conceded, coming to a stop in front of Akira, who moved on to scooping the grounds into the damp filter. The proximity made it near impossible to keep his eyes off the detective, but Akira somehow managed it, forcing himself to pay attention to his pour.

“Actually, would you mind if I borrowed your barista for a moment, Okumura-san?”

Akira snapped his head up from his preparations and met Akechi’s eyes once more ( God damnit! ). Which was a really dumb idea as a shock of pain spiked down his neck. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop from wincing.

A dangerous glint appeared in that maroon gaze that catapulted Akira’s thundering heart into his throat.

“Is he in trouble?” Haru peered over her shoulder from where she was packing a bright pink slice of cake into a to-go container.

“He might be,” Goro murmured just loud enough for Akira to hear, then broke their eye contact to address Haru, “I assure you, nothing of the sort.” He smiled that infuriatingly fake smile at her, complete with an innocent tilt of his head. “I just need to ask him a few questions, in private.”

Haru shot Akira a questioning stare, Do you need me to say no?

He shrugged nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as someone who was having a very intense internal meltdown over an insanely attractive man could, and said, “It’s fine, Haru.” He continued to pour the scalding water in a circular motion over the coffee grounds in the filter, doing his best to quiet all the alarm bells in his head.

His response must have come off convincingly enough because Haru nodded and said, “Well, I can’t see why that would be a problem.” She hesitantly returned Akechi’s smile. “But I will need him back in a bit when the morning rush hits.”

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Akechi turned and gestured to a table in the corner of the cafe--far away enough from the counter that Haru couldn’t possibly overhear their conversation. Then under his breath he added, “As long as Kurusu-kun doesn’t resist, that is.”

Akira cleared his throat, willing his throbbing heart to drop back into its cage between his ribs. “Go on, I”ll join you when I’m finished.”

Akechi nodded, leaving the yen for his coffee on the counter and sauntered away. Akira topped off the pour over and transferred the liquid into the to-go cup. On his way around the counter he snagged what was left of his miracle tea and took a swig. He hoped it would replenish his mental reserves to handle the upcoming verbal sparring match he was sure he was about to walk into.

Akechi, in his immaculate glory, was leaning back in his chair languidly with one dark clad leg crossed. He watched Akira closely as he wandered over with their drinks. Akira suddenly felt incredibly out classed and underdressed in his usual cardigan-v neck combo he had going on compared to Akechi’s tan suit jacket and pressed button down shirt.

He slid into the seat opposite Akechi and pushed his coffee across the table. Akechi nodded in thanks and brought it to his lips.

Akira pretended he didn’t watch the way Akechi’s throat moved as he swallowed his first sip.

The detective hummed approvingly. “Black.”

“The way you actually like it,” Akira said with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Is it now,” Akechi chuckled darkly against the lid still pressed to his lips. “Sadly, my coffee preferences are the extent of where your knowledge of me ends.”

In the tenuous silence that descended after that statement, they sipped at their respective drinks. Gazes not once wavering off one another.

“I assume you know why I’m here,” Akechi finally said, cutting the tension.

“When I said ‘come get me ’ I didn’t mean ‘corner me at work ’,” Akira hissed over his cup of miracle tea.

He could think of many other, far more superior places he would have loved to be cornered by Akechi in. But Akira kept that part to himself.

The detective leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist. “You do realize if this were a real investigation and I caught you as unaware as you were this morning, you being at work with your Boss present wouldn’t have deterred me.”

Akira stole a glance at Haru, who was busy writing the specials of the day on their blackboard, then drained the rest of his tea.

Akechi followed his gaze and continued on in a saccharine tone that contradicted the alluring smile his mouth had split into again, “But since it’s not, I highly doubt you want an audience for when I bend you over the counter and take what I want from you.”

Akira promptly choked.

Any lingering doubt Akira may have had about Akechi’s preferences evaporated. Akechi knew exactly what he was saying. He had to have, right? There was no heterosexual explanation for that response.

Point to Akechi, he thought, accepting the fact his face was probably as red as the flowering plant hovering three inches above his head.

“How considerate,” Akira managed to rasp once he got his tea to go down his throat correctly. Swallowing burned like a bitch. Now he had to deal with a sore throat on top of the rebellion being staged by his heart and stomach, and the leftover vertigo from his hangover.

“Will you hand it over now?” the detective asked with a hint of sugar coated venom.

“Hate to disappoint, but you’ll be walking away empty handed this morning. I left it in my room.”

Which wasn’t a lie. In his haste to recover from last night’s escapade and get to work on time, he hadn’t thought to grab the handkerchief. The last thing he expected was this.

“I think you’re sending me mixed signals.”.

“Am I?”

“You tell me you want one thing, then act like you didn’t expect it to come to fruition when I follow through on it so I’m curious,” Akechi titled his head and his hair shifted, shining ethereally in the early morning sun streaming through the window. “What is it you really want, Kurusu?”

For you to fuck my brains out, Akira thought. But admitting that so bluntly to Akechi’s face felt like defeat. So, he kept the stupid illusion of their game going and leaned in.

“I want to see if the Detective Prince is really as good at his job as the rumors say he is.” Akira mirrored the detective’s head tilt and offered him a crooked grin. “I won’t be that easy.”

“If you want me to physically remove it from your person, then I must insist from this point forward you carry it with you. If every time I corner you, you… aren’t ready,” Akechi’s smile grew wider, “then doesn’t that defeat the purpose? And unlike you it seems, my time and attention is limited.”

“Rude.” Akira mimicked the detective’s posture, dropping his chin into his palm. “My time is limited too. I just can’t have you stalking me at work. And--” what Akira really meant to say next was , I cannot possibly work and retain my sanity with you watching me like that all the time. But instead said, “--Think of Okumura-san’s business. You’ll scare away her customers.”

Akechi shot him an unimpressed look. “Somehow I highly doubt that.”

Wow. Cocky bastard.

"Well,” Akira said, changing tactics by imbuing a little bit of truth, “I imagine you can relate to not wanting to be distracted at work, with your fans and all.”

“They can be...rather inconvenient at times, yes.” Akechi studied him intently. “Alright then. Let’s make a deal.”

“Making a deal with the enemy? Akechi,” Akira feigned a gasp, “don’t tell me you’re a dirty cop.”

The detective snorted into his coffee. “I’m going to choose not to entertain that comment and suggest we establish some ground rules.”

“I thought rules didn’t exist in investigations,” Akira said mischievously.

“Like I previously stated, good thing this isn’t one, then?”

They shared a private smile.

“I propose this,” Akechi said, straightening up, hands clasped on the table. “From this point on, you will carry it on your person. I will catch you off guard within the next two weeks and take back what is rightfully mine. Our working hours are exempt from this. Obviously, the common spaces in the dormitory will be too by default. Should you ever need me as your RA, that will come first and foremost, I take my duties seriously. As should you. I think you’ll find these terms agreeable and respectful of each other’s time. Unless there are any other locations you want to deem off limits.”

Akira made a show of considering Akechi’s words, tapping a finger against his cheek. This was literally the most drawn out, intellectually charged foreplay Akira had ever engaged in but he couldn’t say it didn’t excite him. In fact, there was something exhilarating about it.

“No. Everywhere else is fair game.”

“Really?” Akechi inquired, grin breaching that rapacious territory again. “Be careful what you agree to, Kurusu.”

Akira shrugged and leaned back.

“So,” Akechi prompted, “you won’t say no, will you?”

Of course he was going to accept. So Akira simply said, “I think I’ll hold on to your handkerchief.” And then held out his hand. It felt like the right thing to do.

“Hah, excellent,” Akechi smiled and shook it firmly. The leather was soft and warm as it dragged against Akira’s palm. “Otherwise, I will be forced to order a room inspection and somehow I doubt that is how you want this to play out.”

“If you are inspecting the room while I’m in it, then I might be.”

Right after the words left his mouth, the logical part of his brain that wasn’t stuck on being hungover and horny on main finally spoke up and reminded him of the very important, expulsion worthy, major cockblock that was currently being housed in his room: Morgana.

But then Akechi’s mouth upturned devilishly, and suddenly Akira decided he’d cross that furry bridge when he got to it.

“Well, then. I must be off. Thank you for the coffee,” Akechi said, dropping Akira’s hand as he stood up. “I have an interview taping in…” he checked his phone and sighed, “just over an hour. Hopefully the trains are on schedule.”

Akira tilted his head. “Still doing those?”

“Yes, keeping up appearances on behalf of the precinct,” Akechi explained, “I may be officially on hiatus as a full time student, but I still pick up cases from time to time. The media wants to know how I balance it all.”

“Ah. Explains the get up.”

Akechi bristled at the comment, his nose wrinkling ( cute! ) and brows drawing down as he straightened his already perfectly straight tie. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing,” Akira teased with a lilt in voice, “It’s nice, maybe a little stuffy.” He deliberately looked Akechi up and down. “But I bet you’d look better out of it, judging by what I saw you wear the last time you showed up here.” He couldn’t fight the coy smile his mouth twisted into even if he tried. “If you’re looking to show off, those shorts from yesterday would do a better job.”

The call out was meant to fluster Akechi, but the detective’s face remained remarkably even toned. Flawless even. Too flawless.

Could he be... he's totally wearing makeup.

Akira lifted a brow pointedly.

That did the trick, earning Akira a heated glare before Akechi turned his head sharply away. The movement roughly shifted the hair around his face, revealing a sliver of skin previously hidden. To Akira’s rapidly dawning delight, the detective’s neck was rapidly turning pink.

“Shut. Up. Kurusu.”

Oh, so Akechi blushes all the way down when he’s flustered. Fascinating. Akira filed the thought away for… later.

For totally innocent purposes.

Totally.

Akira stood up and slipped in front of Akechi, demanding to be looked at. Giddy with his new discovery. “Oh? What’s this? He can dish it out but can’t take it?”

Akechi’s eyes flashed as he brought himself up to his full height, and stepped into Akira’s space. Scowling down the few centimeters he had on him, he forced Akira to take a step back. “You,” he said lowly, continuing to move forward, making Akira walk backwards until his back hit the counter, “are a brat .”

“Just figuring that out now, detective?” Akira smirked. “I thought that was obvious.”

From this close Akira could see just how gorgeous the detective’s eyes truly were. Flecks of light red dotted the center most part of his eyes, giving off the illusion of glittering in the light. He was close enough that if Akira leaned in a fraction more their noses would touch.

A very polite, soft cough came from somewhere on Akira's right.

The detective’s eyes widened in shock. He quickly put space between them again and turned to face Haru, who was standing in between the kitchen and the counter area looking anywhere but at them.

Akira owed her now a second apology.

“I wish both of you a good day,” Akechi gracefully recovered and turned on his heel. He flexed his shoulders as he opened the door but stopped with one foot out the door.

“Oh, and Kurusu-kun?” Akechi turned halfway to face him, “Be sure to check your email this afternoon.”

And then he was gone.

***

It’s Always Snack Time in Tokyo

SEPT 1ST 8:00 AM

[Takuto Maruki] Hello! I was going to wait until I saw you in person, but I can’t resist telling you the good news! I submitted the paperwork to bring on an official research assistant. The chair of the department should grant me an answer by the end of the week. The position is yours once I get the documented approval.

[Takuto Maruki] That is, if you are still interested in conducting research with me like you did over the summer

[Akira Kurusu] I am

[Takuto Maruki] Even more wonderful!

[Akira Kurusu] Won’t it be unethical if you don’t let other people apply for the position though?

[Akira Kurusu] You can’t play favoritism

[Takuto Maruki] I, fortunately, get to make the rules in this situation and I wrote that I could appoint the position to any student that met certain criteria and showed promise in the field

[Akira Kurusu] You literally wrote the position description so that only I fit that criteria, didn’t you

[Takuto Maruki] You would be correct! :D

[Takuto Maruki] So if you’re free and want to get a jump start on assisting, I was hoping to recruit you this upcoming Friday to proctor an exam.

[Akira Kurusu] An exam? The second week of class? Savage Sensei

[Takuto Maruki] It is a 300 level that meets M/W/F so the curriculum moves fast. This cohort in particular is grasping the concepts at a much faster rate than the other two I teach for this course.

[Akira Kurusu] When is it? I open the cafe Friday mornings

[Takuto Maruki] 2pm

[Akira Kurusu] Okay, I can make that work. I’ll be there

[Takuto Maruki] Wonderful! :)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 11:12 AM

[Skull] yo i am not back readin any of that

[Skull] wat did i miss?

✧ Oracle ✧ Changed Skull to Edgelord Can’t Read

[Edgelord Can’t Read] I CAN EFFIN’ READ!!!

[Edgelord Can’t Read] i said i wasn’t gonna, not that i cant big difference

[Edgelord Can’t Read] ur the one who cant read

[✧ Oracle ✧] wow gr8 comeback edgelord im so offended. what r we 7yrs old

[Edgelord Can’t Read] shuddup

***

Gotta Go Fast

SEPT 1st 11:28 AM

[Skull] BRO A CATWALK?! WTF?!?

[Skull] how the eff did u get down??

[Joker] My amazing cat-like reflexes

[Skull] bro

[Skull] how u feelin btw

[Joker] You know that feeling you get when you’re about to go over the hill on a rollercoaster?

[Joker] Like that

[Skull] oof

[Skull] ill make u my ma’s soup when ur shifts over, its the best for this kinda shit

[Joker] Why is everyone being so understanding with me today

[Skull] were ur friends man we gotchu

[Joker] alsdjflskf

[Skull] uh did the rollercoaster drop or smth

[Joker] Haha no

[Joker] Thanks Ryuji

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 2:01 PM

[Edgelord Can’t Read] UH HOLY SHIT EVERYONE CHECK UR EMAILS

[Panther] what?? why??

[✧ Oracle ✧] im surprised u even read ur email

[Joker] Oh.

[Joker] Fuck.

***

To: Shujin Hall_5th Floor

From: Akechi Goro; Niijima Makoto

CC: Kawakami Sadayo

Subject: Violation of Dormitory Rules

Dear Fifth Floor Residents of Shujin Hall,

This is a friendly reminder that there is a strict No Pets Policy in this Residence Hall. A contraband item, a can of pet food, was located on the floor inside the trash room on Friday night. As such, we will be conducting room inspections beginning tomorrow, starting with rooms located in the Girls’ Wing. Let this be an example to all that the consequences for violating this rule will be termination of their dormitory agreement and the loss of their on campus housing status. Any additional charges will be determined by the Residence Hall Director, Kawakami Sadayo.

If you have any further information on this subject, please feel free to contact us.

We hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

Sincerely,

Your Resident Assistants

Akechi Goro

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice / Psychology Major | Philosophy Minor [email protected]

Niijima Makoto

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice Major | Psychology & Law Minor [email protected]

#akeshu #shuake #akeshuake #goro akechi #persona 5 royal #persona 5 #akira kurusu #goro akechi x akira kurusu

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kryptsune · 4 years

Text

Kit’s OC Time {Part 2}

🌼So I got this wonderful ask from @chocolatetwix and I got super excited. There is a lot here so I just decided to make a huge post about it. That and I can save it and work on it too so that’s a bonus. You can’t really do that with asks. This will be in a couple different parts so that it’s not too overwhelming!

Let’s continue!

Costume/ CC: Back in my DA days I used to draw a lot of animals and I had a fursona as well. Now I am not sure if I am going to keep her or not but I do actually still like her design. I might just tweak it a tad.

I have an incredible piece of artwork from Nukerooster of her and I just need to share. Go check them out as well (>>>LINK HERE<<<)

Akuma: Another fluffy boy but I have this OC named Akuma, original... I know. He will most likely make an appearance in my Hell world once I re work him a bit. Basically he was a demon that caused a lot of Chaos and havoc but messed with the wrong village. Mid transformation he got a blessed sword rammed through his chest keeping him that way until the sword is released. It also perpetually bleeds, never heals, and drains his power. Poor demon baby boy. Also I realize that he is old... but like... I still love his design if that is even possible. He used to be red in color which I will post and then I redrew him a few years ago to see how he would look more current. Now he is teal ish.

Nuke also did this incredible one of Akuma.

Because of my major I sometimes randomly come up with cute RPG character designs and I really wanted to do one of little monster animals. I created this little guy during one of my classes.

Spip: He is a little vampire ghost bunny. The cross shaped vile around his neck is filled with his HP restore (Blood) If you have a lot the vial will be full but if you don’t have enough it will deplete over time. Poor little Spip just wants to be friends with people but because of what he is they run away. He is kind of my homage to Bunicula if anyone remembers that book. I have ideas for his little buddies too like a Frankenstein cat and so forth. Just a cute little idea.

Lastly we have the Infernum (name will probably change I am kind of thinking about calling it Twisted Otherworlds or just Otherworlds) cast which is even larger than the Hell side and I don’t even want to think about that right now X’D It is a little overwhelming. What I do have however are some of the designs I made for them, costume wise. This was back during my fashion degree projects. Think realms with twisted fairytale characters that happen to used to be real people from different periods in time. This is the point I really started to dig into the horror genre and it kind of shows though looking back I think I always kind of have been...

The story is basically a fairytale romp and during the day light hours it’s perfectly fine all zanny and fun but at night is a whole other story. You see the souls that live in these Realms used to be living breathing people. The only thing is that if you end up here though you lose all memory of that life. The Madness which is like a magical curse infects these souls and turns them into their own personal fears or horrors. It’s all back story based and intense so I won’t go into it. There are different monsters and characters and even though it’s an older idea I do think it still has a lot of potential. The realms of the Muses so to speak. Their day and night are switched as well so no matter where you are in the world you dream in the daylight and it’s night there soooo your usually going to get a pretty lucid horrifying nightmare but if you sleep during the night time you will have good dreams. Just don’t fall asleep during the day light hours X’D

Anywhoo! Here are some of my favorites and again these are really old so their designs will be tweaked for the long run. I also apologize for the quality the actual PSD files are not on my laptop so I have to settle with the project photos I took a long time ago. In order you have the Rae the Black Rabbit, Lucian the Hatter, Ace the Cheshire Cat, Crow (probably change the spelling) the Scarecrow, The Woodsman, and one of Pan’s Lost Boys. I also included the top hats I made for them because I still think they are pretty neat!

There are also some REALLY old designs for the Twisted Otherworld characters. They had more of an anime flair to them. That said there are a couple characters that I want to share since they are actually important despite the artwork being older than Methuselah.

Maximillian March/ Mad March: Crazy March Hare? I think so. He is a puppet master of sorts in the story and I have to redraw him but he has these deep swirly eyes and sharp teeth. (huh... looks like that design choice happened a long time ago... WELP)

Tweedles: One of my friends was able to pick this out immediately but yea... these are the Tweedles. Their nightmarish 1910′s gas mask Orwellian horror cyborg versions anyway. I have a full image of Dee somewhere that I need to find... (edit) AH there he is... btw I was like 15 when I did this design so I gotta question what the heck was going through my brain.. unless it was that Doctor Who episode with the children that just freaked me out... yeah.. that was probably it. Are those real organs and muscles you ask... yes... yes they are.

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clovercoin · 3 years

Photo

I saw that it was pronoun's day on twitter, I've been so swamped with our new pup that I haven't had a chance to sit down and... well BREATHE! Let alone draw anything. So last night decided to take a quick moment for myself and draw myself~ My name is AJ! My fursona is AJ Ferret~ We're both CISfemale but it's been quite the journey to figure it out! As a 10-15 year (honestly 1-15) old kid I did not want ANYTHING to do with being a girl. I made every effort to dress neutral, tie my hair back, and even sometimes wear a hat. People would often refer to me as he/him or young man and it filled me with such delight. After 15 and having my world ruined by hormones and the world being extra shitty to me as I developed breasts and curves? I started to dress like a fucking slut. If men and people were going to talk down to me JUST because of a body-sex I had no control over, I was willing to troll them and take them for everything they had. You wanted to cop a feel? Buy me like hundreds of dollars worth of books, art supplies, or food. C: I used my girly appearance full force to get shit my family was much too broke for. Now I'm 18-19. My body is slowly down rapidly. I'm getting sicker and sicker. I can no longer move around as much, I can't work, I get really fat from birth control side effects and lack of exercise/healthy diet. From 20-23 I give up all gender assignment. I don't get dressed any more. I don't indulge in anything any more. I'm too sick to care and there is nothing anyone can do. dead zone. If you can picture a black hole instead of a human, that's about right. I give no shits about existing. It's a dark time, lots full of suicidal thoughts and active self harming. I was so disgusted by my physical body and female-ness. It's not really until I meet my current husband, Prov, that I start feeling human again. Slowly, with time and effort, I am given the help I needed to be allowed to go back out into the world. I was allowed to leave my box-room that I'd been stranded in for years. Very awkward and embarrassed to dress myself because it's... just all over weight clothing 2 sizes too big or PJ's. It takes a very long time to build any sort of confidence with myself and me being around others. It took a year or two for Prov to be able to touch me without me shrieking, pulling away, breaking into a cold sweat. PTSD is a scary thing. But with patience and kindness, it's something you can work through. I'm finally 29 years old, I feel completely at home with being female. I now emotionally understand I don't have to present the "standard" way to others or the general public. Getting to learn about pronouns and trans-gendered discrimination over the last few years I realize so much of this information would have helped a very desperate little kid in early 2000's. This information would have helped process so many feelings and insecurities about developing. And that it's not always just one fluid direction of change. I'm so happy to say I feel 100% great being CISfemale. I love my girly self in all the right ways. (Granted, the chance of pregnancy or period cramping could be removed plz :'3 haha) Even to this day though, even though I now feel 100% comfortable saying, "Yes I am female. Yes she/her is fine." I also receive the same happy vibes when people refer to me as They/Them or He/Him often. I guess my shaved head really messes with people and their assumptions about me. lol I figured to make it easier on everyone and to help educate my friends/family is to just accept all three of those pronouns for myself. That way no one ever has to be mid-panic at me for "getting it wrong" when they accidentally call me Sir. Man, I love being called Sir so much... But yeah. Everyone's journey is different. Be kind and listen to others. so... HAPPY LATE PRONOUN'S DAY!!!

#AJARTING #clovercoin #clover coin

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secondhand-trash · 5 years

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Freddy Freeman(Shazam!)- Next Time

[Requested]

A/N: This had been lying in my drafts for months I’M SO SORRY

Description: It’s your first date, what more can I say?

Wordcount: 1478

Playlist:

Can’t Keep My Hands Off You//Simple Plan

Hey There Delilah//Plain White T’s

“So, you’re still up for tonight right?”

You closed the door of your locker to see the boy leaning against the wall. You sat next to Freddy in class and you two quickly became friends. He was a lovely person and you didn’t hesitate to say yes when he asked you to go see a movie with him.

“Of course,” You grinned, holding your books closely to your chest, “I’ll see you at 6?”

“Cool.” He returned with an equally enthusiastic smile and you swore that you felt your heart beat speeding up.

“Cool.” You watched as he walked away. Turning around, you were face to face with your good friend who clearly overheard the whole exchange, seeing as they had a teasing smile on their face.

“A date to the movies? How sweet.” You pretended to roll your eyes and the two of you started walking to your next class. “Are you nervous?”

“Well, kind of,” You said, “But it’s Freddy, I’m sure it’ll be a good time.”

“I’M SO NERVOUS-”

“It’s going to be fine! Stop walking in circles, you’re starting to make me anxious!” Billy yelled as the shorter boy paced around their room. They still had 15 minutes until Freddy leaves the house but he was still not decided on what to wear. “They already saw you at school today, just wear the same outfit!”

“That’ll just make it seems like I don’t care, won’t it?”

“But you also said that you don’t want to make them think that you care too much.” Billy sighed. He really didn’t understand why Freddy was making such a big deal. The person already agreed to go on a date with him, obviously they already liked him to a certain degree. Why was Freddy still so hell-bent to impress them? Even so, changing between jackets really didn’t seem like the way to go, at least in Billy’s humble opinion. “Just wear that one nicer coat and get rid of your beanie, you’ll look great!”

Freddy held the mentioned garment in his head and slightly furrowed his brows, “Why am I asking you about this? You’re probably as clueless as I am.”

“Why didn’t you question that 20 minutes ago when you were rambling about-”

“MARY????”

You stared at your phone, taking occasional glances at the people passing by. Perhaps you lied when you said that you were not nervous, given the fact that you arrived at the cinema way too early in fear of being late. You could feel the sweat on your palms and quickly wiped it on your shirt. You wished that you still have the ease you had that morning as you watched the number on your screen changes.

“I am so sorry to keep you waiting!” you looked up from your phone to see Freddy walking towards you. He was wearing a blazer and this might be the most formally dressed you had ever seen him, despite recognizing the superman t-shirt underneath. To be fair, it wasn’t true Freddy fashion if there wasn’t anything superhero related. “I’m not late, am I?”

“Nah, you’re on time. I’m just early.” You chuckled as you see how dramatically his expressions changed, “We still have around 15 minutes before the movie starts, should we get popcorn?”

“Duh, what’s the point of going to a cinema if you aren’t getting popcorn.” Freddie said matter-of-factly and you hummed in agreement.

You two walked into the building and go straight to the kiosk. “Uhh... We’ll have one large popcorn and two soda. Coke? Coke.” Freddie nodded when you looked at him to see if the order’s alright and you handed the cash to the cashier.

Freddie took helped you carry the food and you popped one of the popcorns into your mouth as you make your way to the showing hall, “To be completely honest, I didn’t saw the movie that came out before this one so you gotta fill me in.”

“No worries. They left it on a really good note so you’ll catch up with the plot in no time...”

“That,” you said in awe, stretching after sitting down for such a long time, “is a really good film.”

“Good? It’s the best installment of the entire franchise!” Freddie exclaimed and you chuckled upon seeing his joyed expression. “Those action sequence? The soundtrack? The plot twist? POETIC CINEMA.”

You tried to hold back your laughter, “Pretty sure that’s not how you use it but I’ll let that slide.”

“No but for real,” his hand gestures got increasingly exaggerated as he rambled on, “that is the best movie that came out this year, hands down.”

“Hm, I don’t know,” you gave him a small smirk, “you also said that Shrek 2 is the best Shrek movie and we all know that it’s not true.”

“Hey!” he dramatically put a hand on his chest, faking to be hurt and you laughed. You two kept joking around as you walked down the street. It had been a while since you had so much fun and your stomach hurt from laughing too much. You were just catching your breath to recover from the laugh when you noticed that you were already in front of Freddie’s front lawn. You lived just a few blocks away from him and this would mean that it was time to part ways.

“The weather is really nice tonight.” Freddie said, rubbing the back of his head as he realized that it was his stop already. “We could talk a little longer here, if you want. I mean, our debate on whether Batman counts as a furry is not settled.”

Secretly, you felt relieved that he offered. “Just because there aren’t actual fur involved doesn’t mean it’s not a fursona.” You jokingly said as you sat down on his porch, earning an eye roll from the boy as he placed his crotch by his side and sat down next to you.

“It’s called an ‘alter-ego’!”

“And who are you to say that fursonas aren’t alter-egos...”

The two of you talked about everything that came in mind and there were a few times when you had to physically restraint your laughter to not disturb his neighbors. The concept of time was behind your mind as you enjoyed each other’s company.

“Freddie?”

You turned around upon hearing the sound of the locks clicking and saw a brown haired woman peeping out from behind the door. “Oh! I didn’t know that you have company."

The woman opened the door wider and shook your hand, “I’m Freddie’s mom but you can call me Rosa. Freddie has told us so much about you...”

“Mom-” Freddie’s faced was flushed and he groaned.

“Rosa, is he back yet- Ah! You must be the date that he was so anxious about this morning!” the man walked up to the door and flashed a wide grin once he saw you. He introduced himself as Victor and as you leaned in to greet him, you caught Freddie trying to hide his face behind his palm in embarrassment.

“Seriously, you guys are so embarrassing...”

“Alright, alright,” Victor laughed at his son’s reaction and said with his arm around Rosa’s shoulder, “We’ll give you two some privacy to say your goodbyes but better make it quick.”

“Ok, we get it-”

“And you’re always welcomed to come by the next time you two hang out.” Rosa beamed at you before closing the door, leaving you to alone once again.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Freddie mumbled.

“It’s fine, really,” you smiled in return, “your parents seems nice.”

“Everything a kid can ask for.” He grinned, “I guess you should get going, before you family gets worried and all that.”

You walked a few steps toward the sideway before turning back at him, “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“Yeah, me too.” His smile grew wider but it suddenly dropped like he forgot something. “How much was the food? I should pay you back.”

“Nah, no need. You can pay next time.” It came out so naturally that it wasn’t until words left your mouth that you realized what you just said. You quickly added, “If you want a ‘next time’, that is.”

“Next time? Yeah, sure, of course.” he said, obviously flustered and you felt a warm feeling in your chest. You rushed up to him and gave him a small peck on the cheek. You did not wait for him to react and quickly paced down the road to your house, leaving Freddie alone with a dumbfound expression as he gently touched his cheek where you kissed him.

Oh, there will be a next time.

#freddy freeman #freddy freeman x reader #freddy freeman imagine #shazam imagine #Shazam!#shazam fanfic #shazam fanfiction #dc #dc imagine

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laws-hat-headcanons · 4 years

Text

10 + 10

I realised after I had posted this that I did it on a reblog that was already pretty long... so I have now done a separate post to try and make it smaller! Sorry!

I was tagged twice to do this and was writing out my answers when Coop tagged me AGAIN!! So I am sorry to all of you, this is long and you're going to learn more about me than you probably wanted to!!

Answer 10 questions then add 10 of your own:

@lucynnamonroll thank you for the first Tag flower!

1. A dream that you still remember?

I dreamt once that someone was chasing me and my dog and they bit me, took a big chunk out of my arm. And then my dog gave me this big blue fruit and my arm grew back. My dreams are always very strange.

2. What job did you want to do when you were younger?

I wanted to be a vet but I am way too emotional around poorly animals and also not smart enough to learn how to treat them haha!

3. And now? Did it has changed?

Yeah, I don't think I was ever cut out to be a vet. I'd like to work with animals though, maybe kennels or something? Zoo Keeper would be cool.

4. A favorite game?

I'm gonna take this as video game... There are a lot. I love Mass Effect and Dragon age, Gears of War... but Horizon Zero Dawn was amazing. I loved every single thing about it. Beautiful game, great story – just.. chefs kiss

5. Where did you have traveled? (Either it’s in your country or not)

I've been a few places- France, Spain, Somewhere else hot but I can't recall where... Ireland, Scotland. I was supposed to have gone to Bulgaria at the beginning of May but Coronavirus done fucked me over.

6. Did you have a totem animal/a favorite animal?

Ever since I was about 6 wolves have been my favourite animals. I originally started drawing so I could create a wolf fursona …. siiigghhh

7. Did you/Do you have a teddy bear to help you to sleep? How it was looking?

Yes, a little dog called Custard. He is a beige colour with brown ears but is still in pretty good condition. He sits on my desk chair when I'm not using it.

8. THE animated (or not) serie of your childhood/teenage years?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES – heroes in a half shell, turtle power!! I was also hella into Dragon Ball Z on Toonami when I was a kid. I remember we went to see some family up north and they didn't have Toonami and I cried because it was mid way through the Buu arc and I was gonna miss it.

9. Do you have anime/series/movie/whatever things merch?

I have a few bits. A Hatake Kakashi figure, one for Katakuri and Zoro. A heart Pirates hoodie. I think I have Kid's wanted poster somewhere...

10. How was your day?

Oh. It was a day. I slept through most of it. My energy/motivation levels are pretty low at the moment. But it was sunny, so that was nice.

@luffytarhoe thank you for my second tag!! 💙

1- What’s your favorite show/anime of the moment ?

I don't watch a huge amount of anime despite the focus of this blog. So probably One piece on that front. Otherwise I am watching Outlander atm, which is pretty good but there is sooooo much sex. An ungodly amount of sex.

2- What type of music are you into?

My music tastes are quite varied. I like stuff that you can listen to and put into a situation, so usually sad stuff where I can imagine I am the main character weeping over the bodies of my fallen comrades. Also Goo Goo Dolls!

3- If you could have one superpower , what would it be ?

Probability, or luck. Like Domino in Deadpool. That's always been such a cool concept to me.

4- What’s your favorite color ?

Blue and all it's hues. Maybe teal if I had to get specific.

5- Do you prefer animated or live action shows/series ?

I am happy with both. Though some animated shows should stay animated – looking at you ATLA...

6- Do you believe in ghosts ?

I believe that energy never disappears, only changes forms and I don't think that's any different for whatever happens to people energy once we die. I'm a big wimp though so it's easier for me not to believe in them!

7- Do you speak any foreign language(s) ? if yes which ones ?

No, sadly I never had a talent for languages. I'd love to speak Gaelic though.

8- Your n°1 fictional character ?

Probably Stone from the Raksura book series. He's just a fun grumpy old shapeshifting man.

9- Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert?

Definitely an introvert. I like me time. And all my hobbies are single person hobbies so that doesn't help haha.

10- What was the best vacation you ever took and why?

I haven't been on holiday in over 10 years but we went to a zoo in Spain once and a Monkey sat on my head. That was pretty rad.

@doctorgerth and finally, thank you for my 3rd tag!!

1. What are your zodiac signs (sun, moon, rising, if you know them) and do you think they fit you pretty well?

I am an Aries and that is pretty much the extent of my knowledge on the subject. Aries are meant to be pretty hot headed and outgoing and I can only really claim to be one of those thing and only when I need to be. So no, I'm not sure it fits me.

2. What is your favorite clothing item and/or accessory?

I don't reallllly care a lot about clothes and or stuff. So I guess either my glasses because I need them to see long distances (and to drive) or my phone if that counts as an accessory because that has all my crap on it.

3. Any future children or pet names?

Noooooooooooooo and no

4. If you could meet anyone (can be past, present, future, real, or fictional) who would it be?

I would have liked to have met Steve Irwin I think. He seemed pretty chill and I grew up watching Crocodile Hunter on TV so he was a big hero of mine for a long time. Also the Rock or Jason Mamoa because of reasons....

5. Brag on yourself! What’s something you love about yourself?

I am passably amusing and guess I write okay too haha

6. What is a movie or show that you could rewatch a million times and never get tired of?

The film Evolution is endlessly funny to me and it makes me laugh every time I watch it. I used to have it on VHS and I kept a video player in the house to watch it until my cousin got it for me on DVD (Yes I am old.)

7. What is your favorite album of all time?

I haven't listened to it in a long time but I really loved Maroon 5 – Songs about Jane.

8. Do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens? If you have stories to back up, plz share.

I want to belllieeveeeeee! Ghosts, yes, hesitantly but I think I answered that in a previous one. Aliens 100% because I refuse to believe that we are the only sentient life the universe. It's just... statistically impossible.

9. What do you do/who do you look to for inspiration?

I guess human being wise my mum is my inspiration for a lot of things? She's just a lovely person and she's very kind and sweet. I am very aware that we are not much alike, but I look to her as the sort of example of a good person. Creativity wise it's just a clusterfuck of books and badly organised pinterest boards.

10. What is your happiest memory?

Practically anything that has my nephews in it I guess. They're just... hilariously weird little dudes and I love them so much. They always make me laugh.

And here are my questions!!

1. What is your favourite book?

2. What is you most loved item and why?

3. If you got the chance to travel to another planet (knowing you would never see your friends or family again) would you do it?

4. One song that makes you cry?

5. Do you believe in supernatural stuff? Ghosts and Monsters and Fairies? Any experiences with it?

6. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever witnessed or had happen to you?

7. What one thing would you buy if you had the money?

8. What is your worst habit/personality trait?

9. If you could alter your body with one cool feature, what would it be? (camera eyes, monkey tail, etc)

10. Do you have the patience to play a full game of Monopoly with no breaks?

I'll tag @pinkhatlizzy @nakunakunomi @lirulee @one-piece-dumpster-fire and anyone else who wants to answer my dumb questions!! Tag me because if you decide to do it so I can see your answers 💙

#hat talks #tag game

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123abcdrawwithme · 5 years

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all spg albums poorly described by me bc i can

album one: steam man band: michael reed voice: GUYS HOLY HECK LOOKIT MY ROBOT FRIEMDS THEIR SO COOL OHMA G AD clockwork vaudeville: now when you say you bought yourself a pickle- sound of tomorrow: the jons audible lenny face as he says “in the nude” on top of the universe 2009 ver.: RABBIT FUCKED A TOASTER AND UPGRADE KILLED THE SPINE THE GIRLS ARE OFF THE SHITS on top of the universe 2011 ver.: alternate timeline where the jon and rabbit kill the spine and deny him ice cream i am not alone: poor one out for upgrades 1 (one) song, shes trying her best ice cream parade: i don’t even know where to begin with this one brass goggles: LOCAL ROBOS ARE FEELING EMO SO THEY HAVE A SING ALONG out in the rain: splish splash they was havin’ a bash electricity is in my soul: okay but whomst the hell is that electronic voice who sings the “la la’s”? serious question who tf is it???? steam man band reprise: michael reed voice: GUYS MY COOL ROBO FRIENDS ARE GETTING AN ENCORE HOLY HECKIE blind minstrel’s ballad: ominous captain albert alexander: listen,,,, he beat spider hulk in an arm wrestling match,,,, hes really cool,,,,,, the 2¢ show: steamboat shenanigans: some say they sang so hard they really did make it to the moon and across the stars ;) one-way ticket: CHU CHU I LOVE U ju ju magic: jonathan giraffe what tHE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT HONEY? ARE YOU OKAY? me and my baby (saturday night): the spines a hopeless romantic and he loves to treat his girl and his siblings support him little birdie: jon makes friends with a bird or some shit idfk rex marksley: the spines a hopeless romantic and sings about his cowboy crush and his siblings support him automatonic electronic harmonics: they want to feel cool,, let them feel cool,, prelude to a dream: hey michael i thought you were supposed to be the human friend whats all this about not being a human being?? mike? m-mike?? make believe: FUCK SOCIETY, TRANS RIGHTS BITCHES *EPIC KAZOO SOLO* honeybee: ah yes that one song we won’t ever let them forget bc were all emo scary world: the morse code says spoopy the suspender man: rabbit voice: yeah theres this guys who sold his soul or whatever how fucked up was that, anyway i want to wear a dress :3c that’ll be the way home: THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL the ballad of lily: oh boi we about to have another character song on this album airheart: character song 2 electric boogaloo circuitry: y’all good? mk iii: curtain raiser: beebop voice: STEVETHY SOMEONES TRYING TO PLAY THE ALBUM steve voice: oh fuck steam powered giraffe: HEHE NAME DROP mecto amore: this is some rabbits in love again shit but with WHAMST hatch fever: hatchy is here and the album version does not capture how feral hatchworth performed this on stage a way into your heart: spg as a whole @ their fans: we love you all so much thank you for the support over the years :) <3 me through tears: bitch,,,,, <3 ghost grinder: rabbit and the boys on their way to the graveyard at 3 am to party with rabbits dead gf please explain: i stg everytime i hear hatchy sing “gum in my gears” i think he’s saying something else and i’m sure you can fill in the blank, but the thing that gets me is thats so on brand for him to say dsfdfg she said maybe: rabbit is just young old dumb and full of love these days isn’t she? go spine go: almost 6 minutes of hatchworth and rabbit being two year olds and poking fun at spine roller skate king: everyone sleeps on how good this song is wtf i’ll rust with you: me knowing full well this song is about rabbit outliving her gfs throughout the decades bc shes a robot: oh,, so thats why theres so many love songs by rabbit on this album,,, rabbit you good?? wired wrong: the spine you good?? fancy shoes: hATCHWORTH YOU GOOD??? steam powered giraffe reprise: we interrupt your regularly scheduled robot angst hours with that good weeb shit™ turn back the clock: okay back the robot angst bleak horizon: our lovelys saying goodbye saying they’ll be back to bring smiles on our faces soon as we close out to some ominous as fuck shit teasing vice quadrant the vice quadrant: the vice does tight: okay so the vice quadrants fucked up and the robots are very concerned by this on a crescendo: ominous foreshadowing thats so ominous i had to look up what this song meant lore wise bc i just thought it was the robots just dancing and having fun steamjunk: my dear sweet honey darling is traveling through space and I’M WORRIED ABOUT HIM starburner: low-key robo angst bc their worried about their souls being damned or some shit but its cute progress and technology: david YOUR RANGE wink the satellite: wink voice: YOU WAS MY BABY MY FUCKIN CINNAMON APPLE burning in the stratosphere: oh fire fire: this is the most haunting shit i have no joke for this sky sharks: hoo boi the sky sharks certainly won’t be killing us all today, but climate change sure will daughter of space: PREBBY SPACE GODDESS HNNNGNNGNG star valley night: honeys you know you can just wait for it to be night time right? then you can go play in the star valley at night- commander cosmo: BITCH YOU GOOD? where is everyone?: THERE SHE IS MY BABY gg the giraffe: MY DARLIIIIINNGGG SING IT HONEY the pulls: wink my darling y’all ok? soliton: corpse man and space goddess sing a really nerdy analogy about love and its gorgeous where i left you: wink seriously are you okay? over the moon: rabbits just done but shes gotta sing it and go all out with how done she is bc shes extra it’s cosmic: is the “alright!” rav?? also is this love song supposed to represent them causing more fuckshit and destroying the universe and just not realizing it bc their in love?? idfk man it bops hold me: whether from the perspective of holly or rabbit i weep openly at this song the speed of light: david: this is where the astronaut turns evil won’t tell you why tho ;) literally every lore buff: *listens to this song and tries to theorize wtf happened* rav to the rescue: local green space twink rescues his space bf more at 11 starlight starshine: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the space giant: three steampunk robots fight a giant starbaby in guitar hero to save a satellites crush; a planet thats a huge apple i have zero jokes for this is already too absurd oh no: oh OH OH? O H. OOOH OH??????????? o h... oh no.... necrostar: evil pissrock possessed evil dead guy and is ready to cause fuckshit while the robots sing about how scared they are at the end super space blaster centi-asteroid invaderpedes 2: cute interactions with the robots! i hate this title tho whale song: wholesome shit to distract you from all the lore and foreshadowing at the end Music from steamworld heist: automatonic electronic harmonics, on top of the universe, electricity is is my soul, honeybee, and brass goggles: me minding my own business playing steamworld heist: *walks into a bar where spine rabbit and hatchworth are performing one of these songs* me: HOOOOOGH heist ho!: yeah thats piper for ya starscrap: hi i’m in love for rabbit? prepare for boarding: GET IN BITCHES WE’RE GONNA OVER THROW THE PATRIARCHY the red queen: capitalism? demolished. what we need are some heros: the spine projecting his love for cowboys onto the player characters the vast frontier: hatchworth: I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME the stars: they made it lads they made it over the moon and across the stars.... also how’d they keep singing for that long aren’t they tired? quintessential: malfunction: wow i can’t believe spg ended transphobia i don’t have a name for it: love? i guess??gd fgdsghfdg blue portals: the idea of hatchworth going through the blue portals when i know they’re made out of blue matter is terrifying overdrive: they want to seem cool please play along and pretend their green screen work is cool the ballad of delilah morreo: this came right the fuck out of nowhere but fuck its here now and its fantastic love world of love: wonder what other balboa park songs they’ll bring back, like never gonna give you up :) only human: i’d die for you hatchy salgexicon: they deadass wrote a song about their dnd campaign sleep evil sleep: i guess we’re all evil BC WE KEEPING SLEEPING ON HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS TOO photographic memories: walter worker chelsea? come get ur mans- leopold expeditus: hatchworth: hey guys checkout my fursona dream machine: this song keeps me up at night with the endING I JUST WANT RABBIT TO BE HAPPY AND ARTSY BUT THE WAY IT ENDED WITH THE VICE QUADRANT RELATED TEASER MAKES ME THINK RABBIT PICKED UP A SATELLITE FREQUENCY FROM WINK ABOUT HOW NECROSTAR WILL KILL RAV IN THE FUTURE DEADASS I’M NERVOUS WHAT HAPPENED

#steam powered giraffe #spg #this took forever please just take it #not art

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