Do you know this queer character?

Percy is Asexual and uses she/her pronouns!

Group E Round 4

[image ID: the first image is of No Significant Harassment, a shadowy figure standing behind a sleeping pink-red, fox-like creature. their green hands seem to be holding up the floating creature. the second image is of Shrimp, a black creature with a blue and white collar. he has bright white eyes, 4 spindly legs, a long tail, and an oblong head. end ID]

No Significant Harassment

They're just a silly little guy. A jokester. Significant harassment if you will. Anyway, a more in depth run down: They're a city sized supercomputer built by a Buddhist adjacent society to figure out how to transcend the 'Great Cycle' (semi-metaphorical cycle of death and rebirth) in a safer way than the previous method (submerging oneself in the 'void sea' which is a mysterious golden liquid that dissolves whatever it touches). Despite being built for this express purpose NSH never really shows a pressing interest in ascension, even cracking jokes about those who are still looking for a solution. Whether this is due to indifference, dislike of, or humor to cope with being unable to ascend is not clear and really up to interpretation. Example: NSH: I wish them super good luck in that endeavor. How is it going to happen? Have the overseers gnaw through bedrock until their entire can crashes down in the void sea? BSM: Please be respectful when speaking of the Void Sea. Grey Wind, where did you hear this? CW: I really shouldn't say. He's going to attempt some sort of breeding program. Thought you might want to know. NSH: Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along! He's very flippant, but does care very intensely for those close to him. NSH: Moon? It's me again. NSH: I do not know if you are receiving these. Please signal in any way you can. NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay. NSH: … NSH: Its difficult for us to assist you over this distance. NSH: Even more difficult for us to do anything in the midst of these tantrums. NSH: Were going to try everything that we can. NSH: Just hold on a little longer. (Context for previous convo: They genetically engineered a super organism of a slugcat (the species you play as in Rain World) to help reset his coworker/sibling after her collapse and restart her systems. He was so desperate to fix her that he accidentally messed up the slugcat's (Hunter) genetic code and as a result it became riddle with the Rot (relatively similar to aggressive cancer) :( which parallels his other coworker/siblings condition who also has the rot. ) He canonically uses he/they pronouns too! Nonbinary swag! NSH has major internet troll vibes. He has sent a data pearl of "something distasteful" to his neighbors on several(?) occasions and causes chaos. If he had access to the wider internet he'd probably be an influencer So…yeah! Vote NSH this website likes the allure of heavy machinery and stuff like that so… there you go. Kind of a blorbo. End post.

Shrimp

Ok so Shrimp is public enemy #1 and I love him. He's the funny little guy you see on your loading screen during the game who you don't think much of until eventually you find an asylum on one of the floors of the Upturned Inn and oops! Shrimp is there! And you need to free him to progress, which Ik is alarmed by even though you can also just tell him you didn't see/free Shrimp. You can put a collar on this little guy to make him look snazzy, despite how little he's with you. On the floors where he's friendly he kind of just follows you around, so you get to have a little buddy for parts of the game! He's basically just your pet dog who may or may not be severely dangerous. And by may or may not I mean a definite yes he is, because he turns aggressive when he gets especially hungry. He can eat the food objects scattered around, though, so that's avoidable! He can also stay with you for nice little elevator rides, which does concern Ik, but it works out! until he starts trying to attack you but if you don't feed your dog then I don't care if it attacks you [additional propaganda 1] [additional propaganda 2] [additional propaganda 3]

your nonbinary beatrice post, i’m mentally jumping up and down on a bed ala s1 ava

nonbinary avatrice is so damn underrated imo, especially since they both read very trans and/or nd, (beatrice especially ((unrelated but lilith also has autistic vibes for similar reasons to beatrice)

ava is a bit complicated because on one hand it’s very likely she doesn’t care much or at all, and you have that whole queer af conversation between her and chanel about not knowing who you are because you never got a chance to explore or something that’s even queerer knowing that chanel’s actor is trans, and how often being queer and disabled goes hand in hand because of how man & woman is usually defined so much as a cishet white, thin, well off, pro status quo abled man/woman, but also on the other hand, that could also be the very same reason why a disabled person might firmly id as cis and/or with their agab, because of how they’re systematically denied manhood/womanhood because of their disability

and then with beatrice, like aside from the way she dresses, and i refuse to believe the combat habits didn’t make a few nuns realize that they aren’t so cis after all, you have the “people have tried to make me something i’m not. to make me normal. or at least, acceptable*.” and many people will “accept” gay people but only as long as they’re don’t display any gender queerness/gncness and/or transness

(*and obv that line is very easily also or as well interpretable as autistic beatrice, esp w how she displays a few behaviors that could be read as her being autistic, but that’s off topic)

<- first of all i am just yes yes yes about the intersectionality of disability/queerness & how it adds huge good layers to any conversation about nb avatrice. i rlly like the idea of Ava claiming her gender, b/c so often the systems and the institutions and ablism try to infantilise disabled ppl, & that extends to participating in gender, linking right to dehumanising tactics.

& i fucking LOVE Ava really doing gender and doing it her own way and grabbing it and running with it. Ava coming from a place where the ppl who 'cared' for her didn't give a damn about her girlhood. she's been confronted with her girlhood only in terms of pejoratives - 'you're a very x girl'

i am Thinking about the s1 line where we see sister fuck looming over Ava after she gets her period & saying to her 'you're a woman now' & how that is framed for us. just specifically what the entire event of menstruation feels when you are not cis.

ppl telling you that you're a woman (now, suddenly. like, fuck, when did i agree to this. who asked my permission?) and how you can feel your body being reframed and relegated in a certain way by the world and the anguish of that, often the blunt and speechless agony of it because the language that could latch onto what is wrong about the way that woman sits on your skin is unavailable to you

nonbinary avatrice is very mood to me because i think they in general have an extremely gnc thing going on. look no further than the outfits in s2. it is BOTH of them, also. Ava reads very boyish to me (hilariously in a very 'that kid with the band-aid on his nose & the blue shorts from pokemon who runs around on the beach going '!!! my footsteps keep disappearing'. ava silva-core).

there really is something in Ava that resists conventional femininity & i think it is very AVA the way she does it. she's giving the middle finger to it, she's shrugging at it. she's kissing gender on the mouth & girlbossing & also just being a little guy with her baseball cap turned around like ash ketchum. Ava silva 'gotta catch em' all' Silva but with the genders.

& yeah the fact that when beatrice is not in her habit she is wearing very masc clothing, putting her hands deep in her pockets, shirt collar sticking up out of her sweater. the outfit she wears to kick crimson in the face. the outfit from guttural scream fight night. her armour with its bandoleer of knives & her cute little throwing stars you use to hit soft tissues with pinpoint accuracy. the softness and the violence of her.

& you are so right. 'ppl tried to make me something i'm not' - you can imagine beatrice in the catholic school uniform with the pleated skirts and the soft v-neck jumper & the blazer & every teacher saying 'now girls' and 'please, girls' all the damn time. how electric it must feel to her to hear the word boy on her skin.

(& yeah. my first fic which is s1 beatrice POV i literally have a tag that's like beatrice is autistic & that's how i write her in everything. ligaments, star wars au bea they r all autistic. a part of it is... i am autistic so it ends up maybe being a situation where especially in second person it's hard not to write autistically but shrug emoji, i also just think bea reads very autistic to me. i have a whole bunch of my own feelings & opinions on what autism looks like w/ beatrice specifically but that's not for this post)

tldr: yes you are very smart and very right

Omg! A radfem Good Omens fan! Finally a sane person in this fandom LMAO it feels a bit lonely to be honest. I have a few things to say (it's a bit long, sorry):

First, thank you for answering to that comment in your askbox so clearly! It's so funny reading "queer" people being shocked that we watch Good Omens. Like, we're gay AF and the show is gay AF. Plus, if radfems didn't watch shows/movies with the same worldview as them, they wouldn't watch anything at all.

I absolutely agree on the blind adoration for the actors. I mean, those guys are fifty and are clearly jumping on the "woke" train (don't really like the word "woke", but you get me) to get a positive image. But at the end of the day, they're just fifty year old men and I'm sure they have done or supported nasty shit too, like basically any man in the world. Thank you for mentionning Sheen's partner being so young and thank you to the radfem who explained David Tenant had a friend actor doing creepy things on set and he used to joke about it. Those two news are absolutely the least shocking news ever. I can't stand the way most girls and women easily fall the feminist, woke nice guy persona and get their hopes up only to learn that yeah, those people are still men. They are no exceptions.

Plus, I also think that the writer of the show is glorified to no end. I mean, he's a good writer, but it's too much LMAO. I agree with the bit about changing God to a woman being void of any meaning and I would like to add that God wasn't a woman in the book, the writer changed it for the show (likely to appear more feminist to the viewers).

Lastly, I wanted to ask you questions:

Did you notice that the most popular fics on ao3 for the Aziracrow ship contain at least one of the two characters having a vulva? If yes, what do you think of it? (Personally, it was shocking to me. I had just finished the show, went to ao3, started reading a fic and... omg skslsks It's so prevalent, too... Thank god we can filters tags nowadays.)

2. What do you think of people who use she/her pronouns for Azi and/or Crowley on twitter? (Again, it was shocking to me given there was nothing indicating that in the show. They're creatures in the bodies of men, and are seen are men by anyone. It makes absolutely no sense to me, and it feels forced AF.

(All in all, I think the fandom thinks the show is more woke than it actually is, because no one who isn't following the writer on tumblr would think "oh yes, those characters are definitely going by she/her and have vulvas". People are allowed to write what they want on ao3 and on twitter, I just think it's insane how prevalent it is in the fandom. But well, I suppose most people in the fandom are Gen Z...)

I'm stopping there. Thank you for reading all of this!

I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond to this! 💕 but thank you for sending this!!

I see that sort of shock from “queers” often regarding shows with canonical gender identity having characters. I remember there being a post about OFMD that said “how are terfs watching this when there’s a nonbinary character?”, as if we combust on the spot if a character has a gender identity 😂

This attitude of “how can you watch something you don’t entirely agree with” says quite a lot about the “queer community” and their cult mentality. They can’t seem to wrap their minds around the idea of watching something and being critical of certain parts…because they seem to only want to watch or read things that perfectly align with their views (or that they can interpret to perfectly align with their views, as they’ve done with GO). Just look at how they act about reading/watching “terf” perspectives. “Don’t even look at terf blogs! It’s dangerous and they’re bad, just trust me!”.

They’re so used to this idea that everything they look at must be in agreement with their views, that I guess they just assume everyone else feels the same way.

And yeah, if radfems (I consider myself just adjacent, but I’m using the term broadly here) wanted to follow that line of thinking, we’d be shit out of luck. Misogyny is everywhere, seeping into the writing of every female character. And because radical feminism is so vast in the topics it covers, it would be hard to find something that agrees with every single position.

I hate the blind adoration for the actors and for Neil. Yeah, the actors are fun personalities to follow and watch in interviews, yeah Neil says some funny stuff on tumblr sometimes. But ultimately they’re all men, they’re all celebrities, and those two things rarely go well together without some sort of issue.

People treat Neil in particular like some kind of god because he validates their gender headcanons, and somehow can’t see that he’s just trying to string them along for clout. And I’m pretty sure there was something about writing a female child character in a really creepy way (snow glass apples?), but nobody cares because oooo he said trans rights!!

God was definitely made into a woman in the show for easy feminist points. And it’s disappointing because it would be so interesting to actually do something with that concept. The easiest thing to do would be swap the roles of Eve and Adam. But he couldn’t even be bothered to do that.

As for your questions…

1. Yeah, I’ve noticed and it drives me crazy. To me it reeks of homophobia. It seems as though these writers are taking the first opportunity they can to make a gay couple straight, and to assert their belief that heterosexual intercourse is superior to homosexual intercourse.

2. The she/her pronoun usage has gotten especially bad after season 2, and I think it’s really annoying lol. It seems like a way to cope with the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley were pretty clearly men the whole time, with Aziraphale even referring to Crowley as a man in the 40’s scene.

Again it reeks of homophobia to me because people seem so, so eager to take this gay couple and make them seem straight. Just let them be men in love.

It also reeks of sexism because often the she/her pronouns go to Crowley when he isn’t like, the pinnacle of masculinity. All it takes is for him to have longer hair than usual and suddenly everyone’s going “omg she’s so pretty!!!” It feels very performative (come on. Nobody actually thinks Crowley is a pretty lady. It reminds me of the people who comment on ugly TIM selfies like “omg slay queen!! You’re so beautiful!!” Because they know it’s expected of them to validate male feelings). And it’s concerning that people can’t seem to accept that having long hair doesn’t mean Crowley’s a woman.

The fandom absolutely thinks the show is more “woke” for lack of better term, than it is. They’ve built up a bunch of headcanons in their minds, and because Neil has okayed the headcanons, they’ve deluded themselves into believing it’s canon. But the truth is that there’s no explicit mention of angels and demons being nonbinary. The “sexless” line in the book is vague enough that it seems to be interpreted differently depending on who you talk to, yet the fandom has decided it means celestials don’t have genitalia (yet somehow have every other sex characteristic?).

The average viewer is not going to watch this show and go “ohhh, I see, they’re both nonbinary and this is a super queer show!”. They’re going to watch it and see two men in love. Which is amazing! It’s upsetting to me that the fandom has decided that two men in love isn’t enough. Unfortunately I think what’s happened is that it’s a bunch of straight women who got bored of fetishising gay men, and have now moved on to romanticising this idea of being as Queer and Different and Quirky as possible.

okay i love the post you made about being alive from company, and bobbie’s yearning for connection, not just romantic but platonic too

that shit SLAPPED

however. i yearn to i feel like i need to talk about the implications of they/them pronoun using, bisexual bobbie. maybe that wasn’t your intention, and that is okay, but i now have many feelings!!!

oh my GOD! Hi thank you so much!! I never knew I could get asks??? (I don’t know how tumblr works). I really appreciate it and I love going in-depth about the Company so I will talk about its queerness of it.  And to answer your question, yes it was lowkey my intention of they/them bi Bobbie….kind of…

First off, here is the link to the post I originally made because it will make its way back at the end of the post.

 I do warn you, I have not watched or listened to Company in a while so I might miss lyrics and dialogue that help my points (and if you think of any, please let me know!). I will probably rewatch the 2006 pro shot (which is personally my favorite version of Company) soon so you might get a sequel to this post about it. Also, THESE ARE ALL MY OWN THOUGHTS AND INTERPRETATION. This is just me examining the show through my eyes and everyone sees things differently.

 First off, the bi part: I believe it has been mentioned before the theory that Bobbie is somewhat queer. It’s been a theory for years. In the recent revival of Company, there was a workshop version where Bobbie was bi.

It says in the article they didn’t make her bi because the proposal scene didn’t work but they could have easily done it in multiple other scenes.…. Bobbie could have been easily bi by having one or two of her “love interests” not be men instead of keeping them as all men. As much as the revival likes to think they are inclusive with gender and discussion of gender and sexuality, it’s a lowkey very binary, and hetero way of thinking. Then again, I haven’t seen the revival (and can’t because it’s closing) so I don’t know the full discussion of what they do, but they only have one gay couple when they could have done more and normalized that queer couples go through the similar problems as straight couples do. And I’m not saying that it is wrong to have storylines that are centered on being queer (like for example, the revival has talked about how a gay character talking about marriage as a gay man) but if that is all queer people are given, then that’s all people see.   Like sometimes, queer people can just you know,,,, exist. The revival changes multiple characters’ genders so they could have easily done it where they could have been multiple queer characters just existing and kept the important change of “Not Getting Married”.

That also goes into another concept with Company that I used in my original post: They/Them Bobbie. So, one of the reasons I did use they/them pronouns for Bobbie in that post is because I didn't want to exclude other Bobbies from other productions and that post is talking about ALL PRODUCTIONS OF COMPANY. If I used she/her pronouns, it would seem like I'm only be referring to the recent revival and not the other productions. If I used he/him pronouns, it would seem like I'm only referencing Bobbie from any other production that isn't the revival. And as much as it seems like this post is going off about the revival, it is a groundbreaking verison of the show.

Secondly, personally, I feel like Company is a show where I feel like Bobbie can be played by anyone and still connect to anyone of any gender. It’s a universal theme of feeling to be wanted and finding your place in the world. As we established earlier, the recent revival changes multiple characters' genders.

It’s been brought up in the musical community more about the inclusion of trans actors in their productions. And obviously, the characters they play don’t have to be trans and just allow for them to just act. For example, there is a nonbinary Tiktok creator I follow who recently was in a production of Sweeney Todd and they understudied Toby and also Johanna. So like, those characters aren’t instantly trans/nonbinary but it allows for a trans actor to do their job just like anyone else. But yes, it would be also awesome that we have a trans character played by a trans actor. That would mean that we aren’t just looking at the gender spectrum in a binary sense and including the in-between and outside too.

Before I get into nonbinary trans Bobbie, I want to say pronouns don’t equal gender, and not every nonbinary person uses they/them pronouns. But in this context though, I will be using they/them pronouns for a nonbinary Bobbie. But I just want to let you all know that gender and sexuality are more complex than people say it is (which explains why this whole answer is literally probably 1.4k+ words).

 I feel like Company is a show about the main character trying to find their place in the world. Bobbie is just existing while all their friends are all off doing their own things. And I feel like many trans people connect to that theme of trying to find comfortability with themselves. We live in a world where gender is seen less than what it is. Trying to figure out where you fit as a trans/nonbinary person not just on the spectrum but in the world is tough. And I feel like that goes into Bobbie’s struggle of existing.

Also, even though romantic relationships are not a part of everyone’s life, it is very prominent in the lives of Bobbie and their married friends. Dating as a trans person can be very difficult and I feel like Bobbie trying to find how they feel about that as a trans person would really add to it. And that also works with platonic relationships too! You have to make sure that your friends respect you and your identity.

What other queer aspect that I want to discuss in the context of Company is the aro/ace spectrum. That *lowkey* is what convinced me to write the original post in the first place. I will mention that there is a Youtube video discussing a queer reading of Company and aro/ace viewing of the show. Great video and it is a more in-depth analysis of queerness in Company than this Tumblr post. So please really check it out.

Bobbie doesn’t really see the want to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. For example, when they do have s3x with one of their love interest and tries to get the other person to stay, when the person ends up staying, they regret it. Also, there are times when everyone wants them in a romantic relationship and to be married and Bobbie in one case, literally says to someone, “let’s get married and they will go away”.  I’m sure there are many examples that point to Bobbie being aro, ace or both but this is only what I can think of at the moment. 

One of the big portions of David J Bradley’s video is the focus on the lyric “alone but not alive” and talks about how that is erasure of the aro/ace community which is a very valid point. If you’re looking at that song from Bobbie trying to find a romantic partner than yes, that line is harmful. It alludes to the idea that Bobbie is “not alive” because they have no romantic partner and that people who aren't in romantic relationships are "not alive".

Personally, how I interpret the lyric and “Being Alive” as a song (that I talked about in my original post) is more of a song of Bobbie not just trying to connect with people romantically but also platonically. Bobbie never really opens up about their feelings except through song and at the end of the show when they finally have their breakdown. Other than that, they are really the audience to their friends’ marriages and each scene with a married couple is more about them than Bobbie. Also, the majority of their friends only talk to Bobbie about their romantic relationships, nothing else. Bobbie just wants to connect with ANYONE and form really any connection. So next time you are listening to Being Alive, listen to Bobbie’s wants without a romantic lens. Listen to them wanting to just have people they can connect to, open up to, and care about their thoughts and feelings. I feel like it makes the song/show better and stops the erasure of the aro/ace community.  

I’m sure there is much more evidence to these ideas and themes (which please reblog and add your own ideas too).  I love people’s interpretation of shows, especially Company. Because Company is also a very simple show yet complex with its themes (like every Sondheim show) and because of that, it allows for interpretation of many things.

I’ve actually been trying to write a Company screenplay for a while where I just write the characters as just the characters and just cast them to whoever works the best no matter what gender. Not only that would be more inclusive, but it would also add to the idea that anyone can go through these things.

Thanks for reading this! 

only angel - a close reading

hey guys, gals and nonbinary pals, here is a close reading i did of ‘only angel’ by our babe, harry styles. i want to make it VERY CLEAR that this is just my opinion and my reading, talking from my own experiences and how i’ve learned to interpret art. i’m an eng lit major so i actually am not talking out of my ass on this subject, for once. i am also not cis or straight, if that makes a difference in your reading of this post. yes, this post is about harry being genderqueer. if you are absolutely not open to this possibility, then you can just ignore this post and scroll by. (unhelpful anons will be ignored, but i’m happy to go into dialogue if some things aren’t fully clear. this masterpost can help with a lot of questions too) 

i’ll be using he/him pronouns to refer to Harry. He’s been called both he/him and she/her by close friends and family members, and seems to accept both. for the sake of keeping things clear in this post, he/him is what i’ll go with. 

thanks to my gc friends for the brainstorm session and helpful insights, you’re all so intelligent ily (and sorry ari for bringing harry’s love for bukowski’s poetry to your attention)

if anyone is interested, i also did a (less heavy) analysis of meet me in the hallway!

TW/ alcohol, sex, self-harm

NOW LET’S GET INTO IT 

(intro, spoken, excerpt from Barfly) I saw this angel, I really saw an angel

Barfly, film with screenplay by Charles Bukowski, introduces the atmosphere of the song. The film deals with alcoholism, adultery, violence. The story is partly autobiographical, with Bukowski representing himself as his alter ego. One of the main characters, an adulteress, at one point proclaims she can see angels.

Angels are usually a positive force in a story, despite being imaginary or appearing in dreams. In Bukowski’s work, ‘angel’ is often used as a derogatory term: 

dogs and angels are not 

very far apart

Bukowski is known as a misogynistic ass - pardon my french - since he loved to depict women as inferior beings he could ‘conquer’ during sex, etc. He was a self-proclaimed “dirty old man”, owning up to his terrible characteristics (that often got the better of him) and this ownership of that part of him that he hates is something to keep in mind. (Bukowski struggled with depression and alcoholism after an abusive childhood but this does not excuse any abuse on his part.) 

My own interpretation of his work, since I do appreciate his poetry because I like free verse, down-to-earth use of words and themes, and I have a terrible soft spot for tortured artists (we all need our flaws, right?), is that he was intelligent but incredibly self-destructive, so with every smart and earnest word that he uttered he felt like muttering two that took all of it back and slapped you in the face while he was at it. “Can't they see through my skin, can't they see that I am nothing?” Self-hate, self-destruction. (sign me up bc i’m a sucker and a fool)

Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see

Who is this “you”? 

the general public (gp)/media. Open your fucking eyes and stop spewing what you think you know, because if you actually look, the answers are all there. 

“I” talking to himself, who I will identify as Harry from now on

That I'm still the only one who's been in love with me

“I”, H, is the only one who knows who he is. Also an allusion to narcissism: “in love” is usually said to/about someone else, not oneself. “With me” instead of “with myself”; natural phrasing would usually be different. Invested in himself, in his self. (Would he maybe say “I love myself” if he were more familiar with what that self entails?)

“Who’s been in love with me”: continuous tense implies the continuity of these emotions: any other lovers/forms of attention have been fleeting, temporary (or so he thinks)

I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth and there's nothing I can do about it

gp’s opinion of Harry Styles™️: compulsive womaniser, Aggressive Man in patriarchal heteronormative society

him biting into his life, his self, everything that makes him him. He can’t help it, he can’t shut (parts of) himself down.

Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door, I got splinters in my knuckles crawling ‘cross the floor

again, CisHet Harry, Aggressive Man

basically going mad trying to knock his own walls down. It fucking hurts to try to figure out what’s going on inside of him; trying to fight it 

Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short, but I think that's what I like about it

couldn’t take any of his many ‘conquests’ home bc it’s too superficial, ‘dirty’

this self is not something he shows at home, because it’s about sex and physicality, so not something he’d share with his mom, but it is something he wants to own and embrace (～Bukowski)

She's an angel, Only angel, She’s an angel, My only angel

Het Harry and his latest fling, possessive (～Bukowski)

Harry and the ‘angel’, the ‘she’ who lives inside of him

(verse 2)

I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine

Very ambiguous, insecure phrasing. Where is the macho, Aggressive Man (1)? 

→ H and his internal struggles (2)

As I went about my business through the warning signs

Het Harry, Aggressive Man pushing through. Relationship/fling with red flags, but lust takes over

making his ‘angel’, his ‘she’, a part of him, embodying her. The struggles that come with that: possible loss of sight of self. At what cost does ‘she’ come out (self-destructive lifestyle)? How deep is ‘she’ buried? (How many drinks does he need?)

End up meeting in the hallway every single time

‘Meet Me In the Hallway’: relationship struggles, loss of self, “I gotta get better”

The hallway is neutral ground: not the bedroom, not the kitchen (themes in H’s other lyrics). No one is dominant here: no Aggressive Man, no ‘angel’. Just Harry, trying to figure it all out. He keeps ending up in the hallway because neither the Man nor the ‘angel’ embody him completely, so he has to start afresh with his self-discovery.

And there's nothing we can do about it

SWITCH. First time “we” is used. 

For H, there is no ‘I’, it’s always ‘we’. He can’t ‘choose a side’ or ‘figure out’ which of his pronouns he is. He is all of the above.

Told it to her brother and she told it to me

(What the hell does this mean? Literally no clue. What are these pronouns doing? The ‘angel’, “she”, isn’t “you”, which would’ve made interpretation (1) make sense. Now, any woman H would be mentioning in verse 1 (when saying “you”) is not “she” in this verse, otherwise “you” would still be used. Either it’s sloppy writing, or it means something else. You tell me, for real. What’s this “brother” doing here? (I think ‘brother’ could easily be replaced by ‘lover’ and then it would at least make sense for the womaniser interpretation.)

That she's gonna be an angel, 

She’s going to be nothing but imaginary. Another interpretation is that “she” is threatening to go so far and actually self-destruct. Implications of s******.

just you wait and see

General “you”, the listener/etc. Taunting message: ‘she’ needs to prove something.

When it turns out she's a devil in between the sheets

And there's nothing she can do about it

Antithesis of ‘angel’ and ‘devil’. Both beings not present in the real world.

→ Even “she” can’t run away from dualities.

Sex, acceptance of his self as a sexual being.

Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight (3x)

Implied ‘I’, but left out

→ metre reasons

→ omission of pronouns as a conscious choice

Heavy sentiment. 

self-destructive - “just you wait and see” - hints at lifestyle that could ruin you, mentally and physically (～Bukowski)

self-harm

SOUND: musically, it sounds similar to ‘Kiwi’, ‘Woman’ and ‘She’; the themes also overlap: the woman as seductive, sexy, devious, imaginary

SYNTHESIS

Harry as a writer finding himself in Bukowski’s writing: womaniser image that has always been projected onto him from a very young age. Harry does not identify with this persona, but plays with it in his mind after years of having to play pretend, and with the knowledge that the gp sees him that way. He deliberately uses imagery that could lead to his songs being easily interpreted in multiple ways. You can hear this song and think it’s about Harry the CisHet Womaniser, who has casual sex all the time, is dominant and aggressive. (After, back tf off)

Or you can think it’s about Harry showing his internal struggle, his fight with himself, his gender, trying to figure out who he really is. Why can’t he identify with this image of Man that’s been projected onto him all these years, an image so accepted in the patriarchal heteronormative society he was raised in? And why is this “she” so unreachable? Why is she only an imaginary being, like an angel or a devil? Why are the doors closed? 

Self-destruction as a theme in this song, with implications of self-harm (breaking his finger, splinters in his knuckles, wanting to die), underlines the heaviness of the lyrics, the difficulty of his struggle. References to Bukowski then hint at alcohol use, which brings out these personas that reside in Harry’s imagination, in how he sees himself and how he knows others see him. 

The references to Bukowski, in my opinion, reveal Harry’s struggle with his self-image. Part of him wants to be famous, to be a rockstar, to indulge in parts of that lifestyle. Does that make him a bad person? Has he sometimes lost sight of who he is because of that? (Harry finding recognition in Bukowski hurts my heart, bc to me it implies H’s self-hate, an inclination/attraction to self-destructive tendencies and his dismissiveness of his artistic abilities. not to be dramatic. brb crying)

The ‘she’ in Harry’s ‘we’, in Harry’s self, is seductive and reckless, and since the release of Fine Line we have been able to see an evolution in his experience of her. Character development, if you will. In ‘Only Angel’, she’s part of a fight, someone who only comes out at desperate times, as a reaction to his forced CisHet persona, or after some sort of substance abuse. In ‘She’ or ‘Fine Line’, her presence is less lethal. 

My interpretation of the pronouns used in this song is exactly that: Harry is every single one of them, either a persona or actually him. Harry is genderqueer in some way or other.

read my other lyric analyses here

Not that anyone asked (but seriously I’d LOVE for someone to talk to me about PokeSpe (just no spoilers past vol 13)) but since I made an offhand remark about my Top 5 favorite characters, it occurred to me that I actually DO have approximately 5 top favorite characters, and I’m procrastinating on work, so I’m gonna ramble

**just in case, note that a lot of this will revolve around my childhood experience with gender in a “I’m AFAB (and present-day me still identifies as a cis girl) but I don’t fit in with what media is telling me girls are like” way, a brief childhood feeling of homophobia, and probably general TMI about my opinions and emotions throughout my life, haha

1. Yellow

Okay, so, I was a little kid when Pokemon Adventures started coming out in English, back when manga was released as single-issue monthly comic books instead of complete volumes.  So I was rereading the same chapters over and over while anxiously awaiting the rest of the story (and wound up missing a bunch of issues anyway)

I enjoyed the RGB arc, I thought it was fun, but I didn’t LOVE the series until Yellow showed up.  At that age my ideal crush was “a cute boy my age who would be nice to me” and Yellow was presented to the reader as a cute boy my age who was sweet and kind and gentle, but also good in a fight, as all shounen protags must be.  Extra bonus points because they had just a few physically weak Pokémon and tried to fight battles in a way that minimized damage to their own and the opponent’s Pokémon, which meant they fought in a particularly smart and clever way.  And I was considered “smart” for being good at school, so being a SMART cute “boy” my age who would be nice to me, Yellow was PERFECT.  I mean, I loved the arc in general because of the clever battles, and the mystery of what had happened to Red, why these people were after Pikachu, why Yellow was so secretive about themself and their mission, etc was really engaging.  But also I adored Yellow as a character and partly in a “I wonder if ‘he’ would like me??” kind of way X’D  So to my tiny child self who didn’t even know it was possible to like-like someone of the same gender (because I hadn’t read Cardcaptor Sakura yet XD ), the reveal that Yellow was a “girl” was devastating—I had to cross out floating hearts on at least one drawing of us holding hands (scandalous!) and, while kind of stunned and shaken for a while, decided that what I’d felt all along was a deep, intense desire to be friends X’D (which probably wasn’t too far from the truth since I was pre-puberty and later turned out to be asexual)

(Also note that I never got the RGB issue that had the chapter where Red helps a little ‘girl’ capture a Rattata—later proven to be Yellow’s backstory—so the gender reveal really came out of nowhere for me.)

But anyways, I still love Yellow as a character for all the above reasons, without the crush aspects because I’m way older than them now.

Also when I reread the series ten years ago, I finally realized “wait, aside from surprising the reader, there’s no real plot reason for Yellow to pretend to be a ‘boy’ except that Green told ‘her’ to—so why did ‘she’ do it?”...and because at that time I didn’t even know that nonbinary genders existed, I decided it was cus they had low self-esteem and pretending to be a different person gave them courage (the same reading I had for Mulan at the time).  These days I’m more inclined to “yeah, I think Yellow’s nonbinary,” but that other interpretation was deeply relatable to me and only made me love Yellow even more.

2. Bill

Bill’s definitely a character I’ve grown to love more as an adult, since I’ve gone from seeing myself as “a protagonist doing cool things” to “a side character just living their life who hopefully gets to do something once in a while.”  But as a kid and now, I like him mostly for the slapstick and goofy expressions and the (early chapters Viz translations) outrageous accent  X’D  My brain desperately craves endorphins and the best way to get em is through a good laugh.

But also, I liked that he was introduced as a goofy character-of-the-week who got into ridiculous trouble and had to be rescued, but then kept being brought back, was slowly built up to be the “smart sidekick who explains things,” and eventually got to the point where he was participating in big battles (the Yellow finale on Cerise Island).  I rambled about this in the tags of another post, but I liked that he was a character who was “weak” without being “useless.”  As a kid who was good at school, I was obsessed with being good at things and had developed a black-and-white view of the world where either you were “strong/smart” or “weak/stupid” to the point that failing or just being not-so-good at anything was devastating (it still kind of is), because that meant I was actually “weak/stupid” when I was supposed to be “strong/smart.”  So it was kind of awesome that this guy who kept getting into trouble and having to be rescued—and didn’t even want to BE part of the final battle—managed to hold his own and get through it and help out instead of being a burden that dragged everyone down.  Seriously, he used a MAGIKARP effectively—the Pokémon everyone makes fun of for being “useless” and he used its one attack to save his life!

(Bonus points for all this happening in contrast to my devastating childhood experience of stanning The One Girl Character in every popular shounen series, waiting desperately for her to get to do something in battle, and then her one spotlight episode revolved around her struggling because she was so weak...not only was that actually happening to a boy for once, it was actually happening in a more satisfying/empowering way :’D )

3. Gold

I have extremely specific tastes when it comes to “the dumb shounen/action movie protag,” because as a kid I hated it when the main character was “dumb” because I was “smart” (re: good at school) and people who were “dumb” shouldn’t deserve to be the main character and have all the cool powers and save the world and stuff.  As an adult, I hate it when male characters are dumb and/or jerks but it’s treated as fine or even sexy(??) and the other characters fawn over them, and I generally still kind of hate it when characters who are dumb and/or jerks get the big important role when there’s a female character RIGHT THERE who’s more competent (and OF COURSE she has to wind up falling in love with him)

But anyway, I have extremely specific tastes, and Gold is it  X’D  He’s the perfect combination of “unshakably confident in his own stupid/egotistic views” and “treated as annoying and/or comic relief by the rest of the cast” with a bonus dash of actually being really clever in battle (so my inner child goes “Ah yes, technically, he is ’smart,’ and therefore...worthwhile“)  Making me laugh while also impressing me is like the key to my heart.

4. Crystal

I’m too lazy to look it up, but when Viz was publishing Pokemon Adventures as monthly comics, they must have switched to publishing it as trade paperbacks only and/or had a huge gap between the end of Yellow and the start of GSC, because for YEARS I’d thought Yellow was the end of the series and was shocked the first time I saw later volumes.  (My dad was buying us the monthly issues at the local comic store, and either they wouldn’t have ordered the trade paperbacks or he wouldn’t have thought to check those shelves.)

Anyway, that’s a long lead-in to the statement of “Crystal would automatically be my #1 or #2 if I’d read her arc as a kid.”  She’s a girl, she wears pants, she’s EXTREMELY smart (genius-level “book-smarts” about every Pokémon’s behaviors and weaknesses PLUS being clever in a battle), was tough as nails (she KICKED her Pokéballs!!), had no interest in romance or her appearance, AND had a short arc about losing her confidence and training herself back up to full power.  I would have KILLED for a character like that when I was a little girl being told that “girls don’t like action shows like Dragon Ball Z” (but I was a girl and I did???) and that girls were supposed to be pretty and obsessed with fashion and dating, and that girls were never the main character of action series, just side characters who either did nothing or got one chance to do something and were pathetically weak (see above, and/or Sakura’s fight against Ino (Naruto), those couple filler eps where Téa/Anzu played Duel Monsters (Yu-Gi-Oh), Videl getting pummeled by Spopovich (DBZ), etc).

So anyway, she’s awesome, she’s exactly the type of character I would’ve loved as a kid.  The only reason she’s behind Gold here is because at my age, “makes me laugh” > “the kind of main character I used to wish I could be”

5. Green (the girl trainer...I’m just too loyal to the Viz version to call her “Blue”...)

I’m trying not to rehash the same “I’m a girl but none of the girls in my shows/comics are like me!” childhood woes over and over, haha, but as much as I always enjoyed Green for being extremely clever and outsmarting the boys and being funny when she did so, she always lost points with me for being “pretty” and flirting to get her way, because that put her in the box of “girls are supposed to be pretty and desired by boys and obsessed with their appearance and romance” that was so foreign and disheartening to me as a kid.

But her staredown with Ho-oh at the end of the GSC arc TOTALLY got me.  As a sad adult with anxiety, watching characters who are absolutely terrified overcome their fear, watching characters who are completely beaten down struggle back to their feet and keep fighting, is like my ultimate power fantasy.  That sequence genuinely had me in tears.

Also her bond with Silver is super precious, especially since that’s like the first time in the series we’ve seen her be genuinely emotional and vulnerable with someone instead of teasing or manipulating them.

Honorable mention: Sapphire

I haven’t gotten up to R/S in my reread yet, and I only read that arc once over like a weekend ten years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a Top Fave cus again there’s that “I'm not like other girls!” childhood feel  (last time I’m saying it, I promise)

It’s a story arc where one protag wants to fight the gyms and the other protag wants to win the beauty contests, but the one who wants to fight the gyms is the girl!!  And she’s the typical “dumb but extremely good at fighting” shounen protag but she’s the girl!!  She’s feral and illiterate and a total tomboy and wins all her fights and she’s a GIRL!!!!

--

Anyway, those are my kids and my dude and my probably way-too-personal reasons why.  If you wanna reblog, reply, or send an ask about your own faves...please

Thoughts on Loki, Gender, Sex, and Identity

So...I've seen a few posts on transphobia embedded in Loki and I wanted to examine my own thoughts on this a bit. I'm not going to dig too deeply, just hit on a few of my thoughts on the matter regarding my own positionality as a demisexual, demiromantic, bisexual, nonbinary, gender funky human.

To begin, my own relationship to sex and gender is complicated, based on my own experiences. I'm fine with people not having this same interpretation because of differences in experience and I'm not going to sit around and listen to anyone bombarding me with statements about how wrong they think I am. Go write a post with relevance to your own experience and please don't shit on mine. The purpose of this is to share my own thoughts on this matter, not to get into an argument. I have enough real-world stress regarding these things and don't need them on Tumblr as well.

I've seen the argument that Loki is gender fluid and it is wrong to say he is sex fluid or that sex fluidity is a way to undercut or deny the validity of gender fluidity. I don't see it this way. To begin, we don't actually see Loki display gender fluidity, even though shape-shifting is clearly within his skill set. MCU Loki shifts into Sif once in The Dark World, but other than that, there is little evidence outside of his word at this. I know those creating this story did refer to him as gender fluid, but I question whether those who stand outside that fluidity might not be as well-versed in how gender fluidity comes in a myriad of experiences. I am fine with the idea that perhaps Loki still uses traditionally male pronouns while in other shapes. I am not considering comic interpretations of Loki in this, as there are so many different storylines that I think they would be hard to sum up into this character. And it is fine if you don't see this the same way.

In myth, when Loki transforms into a maiden during the marriage of "Freya" (Thor in disguise) to Thrym, the book I reference (Neil Gaiman's retellings of the myths) does, at one point, refer to Loki as "he." When the mythological Loki transforms into the mare to lure the horse Svadilfari away from the builder of their wall, the references to the mare indicate "she" (and it is worth noting that in this retelling, the mare is never referred to as Loki by name), but when Loki returns he is referred to using male pronouns yet still as Sleipnir's mother.

In the television show, Loki's file lists his sex as fluid. As gender and sex are entirely separate, I took this into consideration as a part of what defines a Loki- they may change physical sex. I did not see an entry for gender on the file. I may have missed it. But to me, the lack of listing gender and the inclusion instead of sex leads me to believe that the TVA doesn't much care for the gender of a variant, but rather the body in which they are most likely to inhabit. In this case, it would seem that knowing if a Loki is more likely to appear as a physical type without regard to pronouns or gender might be considered more important data than gender identity and pronouns. I examine this as someone who has to handle grant data that requires a sex marker in the demographics- not a gender identity, but an assigned-at-birth or otherwise legally documented sex.

I don't see these two things as mutually exclusive or an erasure of one another. I would see it as a way for the TVA to try to classify a variant without regards to any sort of identity. After all, if Lokis are destined for pruning, who cares how they see themselves? It's not like they are going to have an extended conversation with them- process them, judge them, prune them.

In the context of the Lokis we meet, and the note that they haven't met a female Loki, I do wonder why they haven't met one yet. Is it because they don't catch every Loki that comes through? Is it because they themselves have only ever experienced being Loki as men and and haven't assumed otherwise? I don't know. But I don't see it as impossible to explain, either. How many Loki variants have come through? And how many haven't survived? We don't see every variant in the Void that we see in Mobius' briefing holograms. Who didn't make it, and who is missing? Yes, the comment that she "sounds terrifying" could be read as incredibly sexist, but at the same time...Lokis grew up with stories of the Valkyrie, powerful warrior women who they likely looked at with awe, wondering why these towers of strength were no longer with them. The Valkyrie predate them and are mythic figures- we see how Thor reacts to meeting one of these warriors in Ragnarok. Given that this line comes from Loki the Elder, someone who leans into the power of sorcery and the capabilities of magic, wouldn't it make sense that the combination of these skills would seem terrifying? A warrior of the legendary capabilities of the Valkyrie combined with the might of a Loki sorcery? I mean, I'd probably think the same thing, and I think this is possibly one reason why the variant Loki we come to know would agree with him- she has been jumping through time, surviving apocalypses that likely terrify him, enchanting anyone she needs to use, and she can run circles around him. Given the tonal shift in the delivery of the line "and she needs me," I interpret this as the blustering Loki does when he wants to feel more important than he really is- he's trying to justify why he needs to find her to someone else (and possibly to himself) instead of just saying it's because he cares deeply about her and wants to know what the hell that means. Sylvie can clearly take care of herself and doesn't really need rescue. He wants to feel important enough to go back and to convince the others he is as well. That she could render him irrelevant is something that would be terrifying to someone who craves attention and affirmation.

Mobius says that the most common iterations of Lokis look like the one standing before him, yet Loki does encounter a variant file from California in the early 20th century that refers to Sylvie. So the TVA knows that there is a rare chance that a sex fluid Loki could exist (and they have, presumably, pruned them). While I wish this had been explored further, I don't necessarily see it as a transphobic intent. Did it resonate that way with some people? Yes. And that's fine. Their feelings on the matter are valid.

Another element of my interpretation of this comes from my own experiences of gender expression. Most of the time during which I have been out as nonbinary, people have read my gender as a woman. I like my long dresses and I have an extensive collection of vintage women's clothing. I also have a decent collection of corsets and well-tailored suits that fit my body type. I don't bind my chest. My hair varies from very short to as long as it will grow (not far past my shoulders). I occasionally wear eyeshadow, regardless of what gender I am on any given day. I very rarely read masculine and when I feel neutral, I still don't bother to alter my body shape, only sometimes choosing a bra or bra tank top that decentuates my curves (which, granted, aren't dramatic). So the concept of a gender fluid individual choosing gendered pronouns and reading as male during the (relatively short) time in his lifespan during which the audience knows him doesn't seem odd to me, as it is how I've existed (and I, too, used gendered pronouns for a few years on my nonbinary journey- they were a default while I searched for something that suited me better). But I have known nonbinary people who have exclusively used gendered pronouns and it does not invalidate their gender identity, nor does gendered expressions of that identity. The concept that we would only see a male presenting Loki doesn't seem very odd because I have lived a stretch of my life during which I, too, presented a very femme gender expression and used traditionally female pronouns. But that did not make me less nonbinary.

And, of course, this is assuming that gender fluidity is part of his identity, which we are never told in the text of the story. I reject that everything a creator says must be added to the text of a piece of media simply because the piece also has to stand on its own and be interpreted on that level as well. We do know that Loki shifts sex, which makes sense for someone who shifts bodies, as sex is tied more to bodies than gender is.

The point in this is that we can't assume the gender of a fictional character, just as we can't assume from appearance the gender of a living human. I may read as a woman, but this is not my gender identity and no one should be assuming that my clothes are meant to project gender. Reducing gender to an outward and bodily expression of sex is not something with which I am comfortable, and it seems that some people are conflating the two in their interpretation. Again, your experiences may differ from mine and it's fine to see this in another way.

But here's another very important thing this show can demonstrate. Allow an anecdote. My children watched this show with me. My son is nearly 7, my daughter a few months from being 10. She is very femme- loves makeup, frilly dresses, dolls, princesses, My Little Pony, the whole shebang of activities stereotypically associated with the childhood of girls. At this point in her life, she very much asserts that she is a girl. The same goes for my son- he very much asserts himself as a boy. When we were watching together, we talked about Loki being gender fluid, just like their Mum. We talked about Loki being bisexual, just like their Mum. They understood that just because Loki looks one way, it doesn't mean he is that way...again, just like their Mum. There is power in the idea that some of us are in this same position- we are assumed to be cisgender based on our appearances, but our identities are more complex than that. I thought this was a good window for my children to see through and one I could turn into a teachable moment about all the different sorts of people there are in this world. This is the blessing of imperfect media- we can find ways to learn from it and to share opportunities in it for open interpretation with those around us. And the lesson of not jumping to conclusions about gender or sex based on appearance is a deeply important one for young children to understand.

Is this an area in which I have a problem with the show? No. Does this mean the show couldn't have done more or better? Also no. We do need a variety of types of representation. But seeing the possibilities of this being someone a little more like me (though alas, I can't shift shape)? That was nice.

Hopefully we can see more of this in the future, but if we don't, we can create transformative works to fill in the gaps. It's what fan communities have always done and will continue to do. When I fell into fandom years ago with Harry Potter, long before the movies were all out, so many works were there to add queerness, racial diversity, language diversity, disability representation, all of it, into the series. It didn't stop us from still enjoying what it meant to us in those times and places and I don't think we have to outright reject this show for the imperfections we see in it. It can still thrill us and speak to something in us we've been lacking.

And in my case, that is the affirmation of wearing traditionally gender coded clothes while still asserting my pronouns are ze/zir/zirs and my gender is nonbinary, though also gender fluid, gender optional, or gender funky and that my oft-assumed-to-be-hetero relationship makes me no less bi or any other piece of my complex relationship to sexual orientation (and sharing that affirmation with my kids).

More thoughts on 15x18, because I’m really struggling with it. (I have lots of feelings, and a lot them are Not Pretty)

Let’s talk about the issue of Cas’s “true happiness.”

First of all, “true happiness” was never in the terms of the deal. The Empty never said Cas had to be truly happy, it only said he had to give himself “permission to be happy.” That ain’t the same thing. I feel like “true happiness” is an unreachable goal. It’s a light at the end of the tunnel that you can never reach because it doesn’t really exist. You can certainly find it in little moments along the way, but it’s not an epiphany. It’s a process. “Permission to be happy,” on the other hand, can be manufactured. It can be, “I feel like crap right now, I hate myself and my life is terrible, but I WILL be happy about watching this movie or hugging my friend.” Example- I did this today. I’ve been in a funk after this episode (hello, crippling attachment to fictional characters!) but I went over to a friend’s house and I met her new dog for the first time. And he jumped on me and I laughed and I thought, well- I still feel like crap. I still have a lot to process. I still have deadlines for actual life stuff looming over me and spiking my anxiety. But I will be happy now for this adorable little fluffball and my friend who I haven’t seen in months. I gave myself permission to be happy. 

And Cas in that scene didn’t look happy to me. He looked miserable. He looked like he was two seconds from shattering. We’ve seen Cas genuinely happy before- 14x08 comes to mind, when he laughed from pure joy at seeing Jack again. When he smiled at that little girl in early season 10. Hell, even season 6 Cas looked 1000 times happier when he went in to hug freshly-re-souled Sam than Cas did in *that* scene. When Cas is happy, there’s a lightness to him. It’s like some weight has been lifted. Cas in this episode wasn’t lightest when the Empty took him, but when he was talking to Jack. And that’s saying something because that was a fucking depressing conversation. 

And the lines everyone is talking about- “What I want is something I know I can’t have.” and “Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.” 

Oh boy. I saw a post today calling that toxic positivity, and it’s right. Cas basically said I Will Speak the Happiness into Existence Whether I Feel it or Not. 

He also said “I wondered what my true happiness could even look like, and I never found an answer.”

First off, honey, true happiness wasn’t part of the deal. But he did say he never found an answer. Which means, presumably, that whatever was going on in this scene wasn’t true happiness. He just dropped the pretense of it, and gave himself permission to be happy at a very strategic time in order to take out Billie and stop her from killing more people. Dean, yes, but Sam and Jack as well. If there was a chance they were still alive, you can damn well bet that Cas was gonna take it. Because he’s a strategist. He was a soldier for millions of years and he commanded Heavenly armies. I feel like that’s not a job Michael or Raphael or whoever else would give to just anybody. 

So what if what Cas wanted but could never have was happiness? And he forced himself to feel some so the Empty would come, and that’s why he was so “oh wow I love my friend.” And I’m not disputing that there’s love there. I don’t vibe with Destiel and I think something has got to be reciprocated before it can be canon, but whether it was platonic or romantic or something in between or something different altogether those two definitely had something going on. That is in no way an excuse for Dean treating him like crap for years, but we’ve all looked for the best in people, in things, even if they hurt us or disappointed us or really fucking pissed us off. Kinda like what I’m doing right now LMAO

And if you watch closely, Cas takes a fucking minute after he mentions Jack. He looked like he was in so much pain. His voice cracked when he mentioned Sam. In making the choice to sacrifice himself he was condemning himself to never seeing Sam again. Never seeing Jack again. And Sam and Cas love each other so damn much, and Cas loves Jack more than anything else. That was bound to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. 

So of course he focused on Dean. Because he loves him too, even though he probably shouldn’t sometimes, and he mustered up enough happiness for the Empty to come, and found some pride in himself and how he’s grown. I do believe he sort of accepted himself, and let go of some of his self-loathing at the last second. He cobbled together some last-minute peace. I’m proud of him for that. 

But I think I hate it, in all honestly. I DESPISE it as an ending for Castiel. It doesn’t do him justice in the slightest. It doesn’t begin to be in that realm. It was a mess, it was poorly written, he felt out of character (the fucking disconnect from Cas in his scenes with Jack this ep vs. this monstrosity... whoa nelly. I have whiplash). But I have to believe that there’s something like this in there, or I will go insane. I’m far too attached to Cas to just let this go without settling on an interpretation that isn’t “gay angel goes to superhell.” Totally valid to cope with 2012 tumblr humor, but dear god am I really struggling with this. It was bad, but I need to take it somewhat seriously for my own sanity.

And he’s dead. He’s gone, probably permanently. And the knowledge of that alone is enough to make me cry (listen... Castiel has gotten me through some crap in my life. I MISS him) and I will forever be angry that his ending wasn’t even about him. So hopefully my analysis helped you a little bit, if you’re in a Cas-loving pit and clawing your way out like me. 

I just think the timing of it was too perfect for Cas not to have been aware of what he was doing. It was too deliberate. And though I am all for Cas getting some kind of canonical queerness (even though all the SPN angels are technically canonically genderfluid/nonbinary/non-conforming, somewhere in that broad spectrum), I still think what he wanted but could never have was much more to do with himself rather than Dean. He really didn’t have to die, though, certainly not so terribly. I think I actually preferred his death in All Along the Watchtower. I wouldn’t trade late seasons Cas for anything, though, because (excepting this) he was rad. Killing the game. Dadstiel, Sam and Cas’s friendship- I loved watching those flourish in the late seasons. And everything I loved most about it was done so dirty. I’m just so tired. I wish I could mourn him without being angry and bitter at the writers. 

it's officially July but I'm still on pride mode!!! can't stop won't stop

Here are my lgbt+/queer hcs for class 1(g)A(y)!!! Here's what they are in case you don't recognize all of the flags (bc let's be real before I started coloring this I wouldn't recognize at least a few of them either ;^; ), strap in bc it's going to get l o n g:

(also they’re listed in the order they’re shown in the deviantart post rather than this one oop)

- Ojiro is trans!! I feel like he prefers being stealth but still celebrates with all his classmates because it's such a special occasion :') - Tooru is pan and a demigirl!!! It's her first pride and she's hyped!!!! And full of love!!!!! Love Is Stored In The Tooru!!! - Todoroki is a gay demiboy!! His trauma has made his experience with gender rather vague and blurry but he's still happy to have a label to somehow describe himself!! He's using End*vor's credit card to buy all of his friends pride merch!! - Midoriya is bi and trans!! He's been so happy to see his friends discover themselves and even more so to see them celebrating :') - Iida is bi!! As the second of the three members of the Rich Kids Club, he also wants to support and reaffirm his friends by buying them pride stuff!! - Kirishima is gay and trans!! I hc that he's been basically the class' go-to for gender identity/sexuality stuff bc he's been out-and-proud since Day 1 until pretty much everyone had a big coming-out ("I'm gay!" "Cool! I think I might be bi! :0c" "I...might...not be a girl???" "I'm pretty sure I'm [ace/genderfluid/etc.]" "What's that?" "Oh, it's [...]" "...might have to look into that. I think it might fit me too?" " :'D !!!!! " ) (he probably cried bc he was so proud of everyone) and then things calmed down a bit . He's a tinsy bit sad ppl no longer come to him for it but he pushes it down because he's just so!!!!!! happy to be surrounded by so many ppl like him!! - Bakugou is gay, trans and demisexual!! The last part was the hardest for him to figure out and he spent a lot of time being confused at other people, it was when Sero shared his own orientations that he thought maybe he wasn't as alone as he had thought :') - Uraraka is bi!! She's spent years thinking her crushes on girls were just her being jealous/wanting to be friends with them/not as important/stong as the crushes she's had on boys. She's getting over that internalized stuff now and I'm proud of her!! - Tsuyu is a trans girl and a lesbian!! She's been very open about wanting people to call her "Tsuyu-chan" because she chose that name herself!! And she's so happy that everyone here is supportive of her and each other!! - Yaomomo is also a lesbian!! This is her first pride, she's so excited to see all these people with different identities and experiences come together, and while she could easily create pride merch herself she much rather prefers supporing the indepentent LGBT+/Queer creators selling their own! (Hence why she bought two different variations of the lesbian flag for both her and Jirou!) (and probably many more of the stuff you see everyone wearing lol) - (Speaking of,) Jirou is also also a lesbian and also nonbinary!! Her only connection to girlhood is her love for other girls, but other than maybe updating her wardrobe a little she doesn't mind presenting femininely. - Sero is asexual, demiromantic and genderflux!! He's v. chill about everything, he probably found out and was like "Oh. Ok cool. I'm hungy" like he has a very laid-back attitude abt his identity/orientation but he Will defend his friends' to hell and back. Group mom heck yea - Kaminari is bi and nonbinary!! He was scared shitless to the point of losing sleep when he started figuring out that he miiiight like boys too, and even more so when he realised he might not even be a boy?? Thankfully being surrounded by so many supportive people (and having Kirishima as one of his closest and more trustworthy friends) helped him accept himself :') - Mina is pan and trans!! She's always been very open about being a Romantic™ but rather than being the Disaster Pan that gets flustered around everyone, she's the Disaster Pan that flirts shamelessly using Terrible pick up lines ("If we were dating...heh.....let's just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore ;) " was the first ever thing she said to Kirishima, which earned her an extremely confused and somewhat flustered "I'm????ga y???? ???????" (it was the first time he'd admitted it out loud so he kinda thanks her for that) ) - Tokoyami is bi and trans!! A while back I read a fic that happened to have trans Tokoyami in it and was like "You know what. Yeah I can see it!" Emo culture is probably what helped him realize, with it playing around with and disregarding gender stereotypes and everything. - Aoyama is transmasculine, genderfluid and aromantic!! For the longest time he'd much rather have people mistake him for a feminine/gnc boy rather than a girl. It took him a while to come to terms with his aromanticism, since pretty much everyone expected him to be gay- he kinda expected it himself too, since he never liked girls that way, so?? But when he found out about the term "aromantic" it was like a weight lift off his shoulders. - Shoji is netrois and androsexual!! He knew he liked boys early but he's avoided dealing with figuring out his gender out of fear that he'd be disappointed- he's only ever seen nonbinary/genderqueer people depicted as androgynous and much smaller in stature than himself, so he thought he'd never fit. Seeing everyone else come out (especially the other nonbinary classmates of his), he stopped hesitating and starting working on coming to terms with himself!! - Satou is asexual and panromantic!! I don't really have much reasoning for this, I never really thought about it (or Satou himself) but when the time came to draw this I was like "Satou likes baking.....and puns are ace culture......FOOD PUNS!!! OF COURSE!!!" I'm sorry glkjhklhfdlkhj; - Koda is a trans boy!! He's had trouble recognizing it at the start because he's always been soft-spoken (almost nonverbal) and timid and kind, and """"those aren't traits of a boy""""" but he was so happy when he hit puberty and started growing So Much in stature due to his genes and people started "mistaking" him for a boy!! He came out to his parents almost immediately bc compassion and kindness seems to run in the family and he knew he'd be accepted even if they didn't completely understand!! He was more scared to come out to his classmates but when two, three, four of them come out and are accepted for being trans boys, he knows he'll be safe with them too. - And finally, last but not least, Aizawa is gay and trans!! He might act somewhat aloof about this stuff, but secretly he's very happy that his kids students all have eachother's support, and most of them their families'. Part of him is a little bitter and wishes he had the same kind of support system in their age, but he's going to be there for them if they need him nonetheless. He has his own support system now, and that matters a lot, too.

But wait!! There's M O R E !!!!! - I always love love LOVE how fanartists/editors give some of the characters more animal-like features, so I did that too!!! I went Full-on-Frog with Tsuyu (and I'm rather proud of how she came out (lol) ), but also I gave Mina some Sharp Chompers and a Fluffy lil' tail bc It's What She Deserves, and Ojiro a lil' toof poking out and ears that sharpen a lil bit at the tips? I hc that as he grows, other than his tail he'll start growing more animal features like that- sharper teeth, longer ears, claws and also, get ready.....pawbeans........the last ones give him Heck when they start growing out, and he needs his palms massaged at least once a day while they do :'( His legs get weird too and they end up looking more like a wolf's back legs :0c - I gave a lot of them freckles!!!! bc I Love Freckles!!!!!! also, as my sister very eloquently pointed out, I gave Uraraka "A R M S,,,,," bc. let's be honest. the girl got martial training she's not a twig - Sero is holding the polyamorous flag behind himself, Kaminari and Mina bc.. u guessed it,, they're all dating each other,,,,, lotsa smooches and cuddling and shenanigans bc there's only maybe one(1) braincell between the three of them and most of the time sero has it - Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida, Kirishima, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaomomo, Koda and Aizawa are also autistic. Yes all of them. No I won't explain. (unless you ask in good faith and want to share your own hcs pls ask me then I'll explain everything and you can expect it to be as long as this description!!!!!) (I might draw something about it when it's April again maybe *thinking emoji* ) - Oh!!! and Tooru, Kaminari and Mina are ADHD. Kirishima is also dyslexic. - Bakugou has been losing his hearing ever since he entered U.A.- sure he's always used his quirk but never freely to that extend and with so much power behind it, so getting into fight after fight with such close proximity to explosions that big really did a number on his ears. He can hear a little better with the right one than the left, so Kirishima has gotten used to walking by his right side before his custom hearing aids came in, and then just stuck to that. Bakugou's custom hearing aids block out any noise above a certain volume bc let's assume technology has advanced to do that. When he and Kirishima started thinking about working together as heroes even after they graduate, Bakugou requested custom ear protectors with similar block-out features as his hearing aids for Kirishima so his ears aren't damaged by working so close to Bakugou (Kirishima cried). - I'm actually quite flexible on which of the two I hc as trans, or if I hc both of them to be. The "both gay + demi Bkg" is pretty set in my interpretation of them, but I find it interesting how their friendship/relationship could manifest and grow somewhat differently depending on if both of them are trans or if only one of them (and depending on which one of them it is). They're still the same loud rowdy boyes we know and love but there's different conversations to have and difficulties to tackle between them based on that factor alone, and frankly? I Adore It.

Okay that's all!!!! I think. Thanks for reading, if you did!! And if not, I completely understand lol

I hope you had a great pride month!!

I’d like to get your thoughts on this, hope this is okay!

Look at this quote from this article:

“It’s easy to pick on the “this wouldn’t be happening if these characters were coded as male,” but it’s nonetheless true—as a fan of the unrepentantly (gloriously) awful Bill Cipher, among others, I can promise you I see it regularly.”

I immediately thought of this blog when I read this. 

Not saying you’re misogynist, of course. This blog is just so fascinating, and for someone to dismiss it all like that is frustrating. 

I mean, of course they weren’t referring to you directly, but still. 

For someone to brush off people’s interesting, thought-provoking theories as nothing but misogyny is kind of close-minded, in my opinion. 

But this makes me curious. Do you think you’d still feel the same way about Bill if he was more feminine-coded? Would it matter?

And what do you think about that statement? Are you as annoyed by it as I am?

It’s always alright to get my thoughts on certain subjects, Anon! And lucky for you, I have lots of thoughts on this.

First of all, thank you for liking my blog! I put a lot of work into it, and I still look back on everything I’ve done here fondly. This blog is my only fandom-specific blog that’s still semi-active even after I’ve left the fandom. 

And, about what you said about misogyny... I don’t actually think that’s what the article is talking about. It’s not misogyny for someone to pick apart Bill Cipher, but it’s misogyny if someone offers that level of potential depth to a male character while instantly condemning a female character. 

But... honestly, from my experience? These two groups of people are different groups. 

I used to run in those “anti” circles, back in 2015? 2016? Before the whole “SU criti/cal” thing started to become popular. But I could still kinda see hints of it? It was back when SU was hailed as THE perfect show, before people knocked it off the pedestal they put it on. 

Anyway. These people hated redemption arcs. They saw Bill as this irredeemable monolith of a character, and any alternate interpretations were met with outright malice. I got called out once for, and I am not joking, headcanoning Bill as an abuse victim. They claimed I was “excusing his actions,” but when I asked to please show a screenshot of where I said that this excused him, they couldn’t. Because I never said that. 

(I ended up publishing the whole headcanon on my main blog, and people loved it. That reception is what pushed me to create this blog.)

I don’t doubt at least some of those people became the type to nitpick SU. So I feel that the same people that nitpick male characters are also the type to nitpick female ones. They’re just nitpickers with a black-and-white sense of morality.

But there are always exceptions to the rule- people who love morally gray male characters but hate morally grey female characters. Yes, some of these motivations may be spurred on by misogyny. But what frustrates me is the initial assumption of malice. I’m not saying the article itself is guilty of this, as it seems to be speaking to a general problem, but more those tumblr posts or tweets trying to “call people out” if they gravitate towards more morally gray male characters than female ones.

Which brings me to my answer to your question: No, I don’t think I would like Bill as much, had he been a woman.

But please let me explain first. 

First, you need to know some facts about me:

I am transmasculine. (Not a trans man- I’m nonbinary.)

I have a personality disorder. I’m not comfortable disclosing which one, but it’s one of the cluster B ones.

I was abused, and my reaction to the abuse was extreme anger and irritability. (Hence the PD.)

Another important fact is that my abuser was a woman. She’s my mother. I had to live with constant emotional abuse, gaslighting, neglect and other forms of malice for my whole life. I’m still not free yet, and I’m turning 20 in a month. (No, literally, exactly one month to the day.)

I was abused my whole life by a vindictive, manipulative shit of a woman, and it made me into a vindictive, manipulative shit of a person. The key difference is that I am actively trying not to be a vindictive, manipulative shit.

When I pick apart asshole male characters, I see myself in them. I do a deep dive into the whys, the hows the whos of why they ended up the way that they did, because it makes me feel liberated. It’s personally liberating to see someone like me, whom everyone sees as a monster, have a backstory that shows that monsters aren’t born, they’re made. It’s liberating to see them try and change, it’s liberating to give them someone to help them change no matter what, it’s liberating to look harder. Because that’s what I wanted. I wanted someone to look at me and see past the violent, angry 15 year old that I was, and actually help me. I wanted someone to see I was a victim, that I didn’t like being the way that I was. I wanted someone to help me and be there for me, even though I was messed up and awful.

(But don’t feel too bad for me- A few years ago I met someone wonderful through this very fandom who was exactly the kind of person I needed. And last November I proposed to him and he said yes!)

When I see a morally grey female character... all I can see is my abuser. I see in them the person that hurt me. I don’t want to look deeper, just as I don’t care about my mother’s long rambles about how shitty her childhood was. Was she also abused? Yes. Do I care? Nope! I don’t feel that same drive to pick apart female characters that act like the male ones I like, because of my trauma.

 And honestly? Just because I gravitate towards male characters more doesn’t make me a misogynist. How I treat actual real life women does. I do examine my behavior to make sure I’m not being misogynistic- in fact, it was worry that I was being misogynistic in my dislike of these characters that made me think hard enough to have such a long answer to your question. 

Maybe someone liking only male characters is an indicator of misogyny. Maybe it isn’t. I’m not shy about talking about what happened to me but people should not have to disclose their traumas in order to be “allowed” to consume fiction in a way some stranger doesn’t like. 

And there actually is a specific subset of morally grey female characters I like: my own OCs. 

I guess it’s the fact that I created them and thus can control how they act? They’re all assholes and I love them so much, but I don’t feel that same aversion as I do with characters that aren’t mine. Because the lack of control I had over my own abusive situation is what fucked me up so hard, but now I do have the control. If I watch a TV show, I don’t have any control over what the characters do, they’re not mine. But I do have control over my OCs.

(Psst- if you wanna see those OCs, I’ve since moved to the Invader Zim fandom, and am working on a HUGE fic series for it. (It’s not published yet- I’m working on it behind the scenes.) Those OCs I’m talking about star heavily. Here’s my blog, if you’re interested. I kinda wanna do some metaposting for that fandom, too, but I’ve no idea where to start. I love the Irkens, though, haha. Anyway if any of you happen to like IZ and have a meta-question for me... the askbox IS open!)

Anyway. This got really long. But misogyny in fandom is a thing, and the article does call it out well. I just get frustrated that people immediately assume malice. The statement does annoy me, but because it does happen if the characters are coded as male, too. I see it all the time. People just tend to either be fans of the morally grey, or... not.

damn, maybe this is controversial of me but i don’t actually interpret ingrid’s reaction to dorothea in their supports as her being homophobic ( which, to my knowledge, is the only source of ingrid’s “ homophobia ” that people cite ). 

i did initially, and i can see where you’d get that at first glance, but if you look deeper, it’s... not really?

i portray her as having some self-hatred about being gay because of glenn’s importance to her and what they were meant to be together ( husband and wife ), but not outright homophobic all together. additionally, i interpret ingrid as not only being a lesbian, but nonbinary. in a lot of her supports, she is not comfortable with traditional femininity, and even in the exploration dialogue in the chapter of the dance, ingrid expresses that she’s hiding from mercedes for pinning her down and putting makeup on her. 

let me start by saying i’m not trying to paint dorothea as a bad guy here. i love her as much as the next person! but if you really look at the text of the dorogrid supports, ingrid is clearly uncomfortable with the idea of ‘ dressing up ’ ( which i’m sure in ingrid’s mind means wearing a dress and putting on makeup, i don’t even know if she thinks she has the option of dressing masculinely in a suit or tie or anything ), which dorothea pushes on her several times ( and even shuns her for not having experimented with dressing up in the past ).

end of the C support:

Dorothea: If you don't dress for the occasion, no one will take you seriously. But don't worry about a thing. I'll happily work my magic on you. When it's time, I'll meet you in your room. We'll make you the most beautiful woman in the theater.

Ingrid: Oh, goodness. OK...

does that sound like the response of someone who’s comfortable with being, or even wants to be ‘ the most beautiful woman in the theater ’ ?

end of the B support: 

Dorothea: My real point is that you're quite lovely even before getting all fixed up. Absolutely bewitching, in fact. So when I'm finished with you, well... Someone looking at you could be forgiven for...wanting to pounce.

Ingrid: Could they be? I don't know that I'd forgive them.

yeah, honestly i can see ingrid maybe exploring femininity if she was given the freedom to on her own, without the idea of needing to dress up for someone with it. she expresses excitement at the thought of just exploring on her own, without the desire to impress someone. dorothea then immediately says that you dress for the occasion to impress someone, which irritates ingrid. so dorothea has placed dressing up and makeup in a context that ingrid would be doing so to impress someone, directly against her comfort. here’s the thing: ingrid doesn’t want to be hit on by anyone, boy or girl. romance isn’t really her priority given her desires to be a knight. that said, she especially doesn’t want to be hit on in a context in which she is uncomfortable and not herself.

moving on...

Dorothea: Oh, I know. That's just before I lunge, I'm gonna ask permission.

Ingrid: Permission is not granted–ever! Just back off.

so despite the discomfort that’s accumulated through these two supports, dorothea still persists so far as to suggest she’ll be hitting on ingrid. ingrid feels so disrespected and ignored that she impulsively lashes out. the conflicting feelings of feeling guilt for her sexuality in general as dorothea hits on her combined with this reinforcement that ingrid needs to dress up and wear makeup to be wOmAnLy ( or to look nice at all! ) really puts her off.

so, in summary. dorothea has good intent and thinks she’s doing ingrid a favor! which is kind of her! but in that, she doesn’t listen to ingrid. dorothea 1. doesn’t respect ingrid’s wishes and discomfort and actually just tries to sweet talk her into wearing makeup and 2. proceeds to hit on ingrid immediately following that manipulation. ingrid’s last, harsh line of the support is a culmination of that discomfort into an outburst. was ingrid overreacting in the moment? yeah, sure. she could’ve handled the situation more calmly. i’d love to explore an A support for these two in which they talk it out more deeply. that said, it’s apparent to me that calm wasn’t really going to cut it for getting it into dorothea’s head that ingrid didn’t want to take part in this the way dorothea wanted her to. it’s also like... rejection itself isn’t outright homophobic, either? gay people don’t say yes to every person that asks them out? if ingrid’s not interested, she’s just not interested, likely because of the discomfort that built up spread across these supports. i’m nonbinary myself, and if someone did this to me, even a gorgeous wlw with good intentions, i’d be frustrated as fuck. these tweets sum this post up pretty well.

if you read this, i love you and will kiss you on the mouth.

Talk to me about tros!!!! I need to know about Poe!!

Okay, I’m finally sitting down to answer this anon, and a few things before I start!

1. Most of what I’m going to say will really only make sense if you go see The Rise of Skywalker yourself. While it’s far from a perfect movie, it’d take way too long for me to try and transcribe everything that happens in the film, and the context and nuance of certain scenes. So, yeah, while it’s not a good movie, if you’re invested in seeing how the movies have played out, you should probably go see it yourself.

2. I have some... mixed feelings about the movie. I also know that what I don’t like, I can choose to ignore; despite the disappointments of the series, I don’t have to take Rian or JJ’s bullshit as MY canon. I get to decide what I do and don’t adhere to as canon. Everyone else has their own varying scales of how they respond to canon-- some are super adherent to canon, some don’t care about anything at all-- and that’s fine. So although I have beef with how all this unfolded, I also know that I can take my love that I have for the characters (and all the potential that The Force Awakens had) and carry that on through my own interpretations, re-writes, et cetera, and I can choose to ignore the poor decisionmaking on the parts of Disney and Rian/JJ/who-the-fuck-ever. 

3. This ask is very open-ended, so I’m going to have to put some parameters down for myself because otherwise I’d get too overwhelmed with the breadth of information I’d need to present about TRoS. A comprehensive review would be really hard to write out, so I’ll just list some initial impressions (I haven’t been able to see it a second time, but likely will in the near future), and some of the relevant Poe-related issues in the films. If you wanna know more, feel free to send in more specific questions (specificity can help, because with my neurotype, I can easily be overwhelmed by large, “general” questions, and getting more granular can help me rein in and focus on a specific idea)!

4. Also, this post isn’t going to be friendly to R*ylo or people who straightwash Poe/are only interested in him as a straight guy. R*ylo is fucking gross, and I’m gonna rip it apart in this post, and Poe isn’t straight. I try not to be too aggressive on here (I’m generally not very aggressive at all!), but the fandom is just so toxic and vile at times that I feel like I need to put my foot down on these topics and say a firm “no” to R*ylos and Poe straightwashers. Oh, and I’ll be talking about the racism in the movie, as well as in the fandom, so buckle up for that, too. So consider this the “bigots begone!” spell as I wave my wand and attempt to shoo them all away!

Anyway...

From here down are spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. If you’re interested in seeing the movie spoiler-free, please scoot waaaaay past this post! Last warning!

And, with that out of the way, here we go!

Alright, here’s a list of stuff as it occurs to me. I’m almost overwhelmed with information, so it’s hard to condense my thoughts, but I’ll try my best!

1. The whole Zorri thing was a fucking nightmare, but not as bad as it could have been. It was really bad, believe me, but, like, it can be ignored easily (though if you’re anything like me, it’ll still leave a sour taste in your mouth). Like I predicted, Zorri was introduced to straightwash Poe and effectively quash any queer interpretations of his character and relationship with Finn. 

But, like, Poe and Zorri had no chemistry. It was almost embarrassing; they were clearly trying to work the “badass woman” angle, but, eh, she was just, basically, a minor blip on the radar; incredibly boring, incredibly useless, and just, like, a “sexy lamp” that could easily have been replaced. She added literally nothing to the film and was blatantly just an insert to try and prevent people from being able to make the case for a queer Poe. But, too bad, Disney! Poe is pansexual, dumbasses!

Oh, and while I’m on the topic of Poe’s queerness, I should add that I’m not really a big FinnPoe, myself; when it got big after the release of The Force Awakens, if felt like just another creepy Tumblr fetishization of male relationships, so that really set the tone for how I’d see it in the coming years. It’s grievously oversexualized on this site, but I also respect that, for many actually queer fans, the ship represents seeing themselves in Star Wars, and I do totally see their bond as canon. I completely acknowledge that Oscar wanted to represent the queer fans who wanted his character to be queer, and in that way, FinnPoe is definitely canon in some form! 

So, I do have a complex relationship with FinnPoe, in that it’s not my personal favorite ship (I vastly prefer FinnRey, since I never really felt that Finn and Poe had a romantic tension, but felt that Finn and Rey did), but I do respect the importance of it for queer fans and for trying to push at the limitations a major series like Star Wars has had for so long. Star Wars has been dominated as a straight, cishet, white man’s fandom; it’s time other people got a chance to love it and see themselves in this vast universe, too.

The cast also seems to be leaning into FinnPoe as a form of protest against censorship and homophobia in the fandoms and film world. They’re using their positions as major film stars to push back and say “hey, queer folks belong here, too”, and that’s so great!

But, anyway, the point is, Zorri sucked, and Poe’s not straight. He’s certainly capable of being attracted to women, but he’s not a straight dude, because he’s equally capable of being attracted to men and nonbinary people as well. 

Thankfully, Zorri and Poe never actually form a relationship in TRoS. He jokes about asking for a kiss, she tells him to go, and then he, at the end, sort of motions his head as if to say “wanna go kiss?” and she, again, tells him no, which he shrugs off. It’s pretty shitty, but easy to ignore.

Anyway, Poe is pan, Finn is pan, Lando is pan, Luke Skywalker is gay and nonbinary, Rey is nonbinary and probably ace, maybe interested in girls, I’m still ironing my hcs for her out, and no one can stop me! Go ahead and try to kill me, Disney (and homophobic Star Wars fans); if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

2. Poe’s “backstory” is such a fucking trainwreck. They basically tried to nix a bunch of what was already canonically established in order to, get this, make Poe a drug dealer. 

It’s a little more complex-- the idea is that Poe was a pilot for a group of pirates for about six years, from the age of 16 until he was 22-ish, and ran Spice, the drug in Star Wars-- but it’s also not. It’s really bad. 

Way to take a canonically noble, hardworking, Latino character and reduce him to the most shitty, racist stereotype imaginable. I’ve already complained about him not needing a “dark” past, but this? This is somehow worse than him being, like, a bounty hunter, because it carries political implications and is just such a stock, trash stereotype that we don’t need in this world or in our fantasies. It’s ridiculous, and I refuse to acknowledge it.

Worse yet, it’s said that Poe “ran away from home” to join the pirates to “avoid responsibility” at age 16... dude, Poe has been shown in EVERY PRIOR CANONICAL APPEARANCE TO CRAVE NOTHING BUT RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, he’s a hothead, but he’s responsible! He wants to labor and take on caring for others because he’s a hardworking, compassionate, headstrong man! Ugh!

I could go off forever about this, but I’m already feeling myself grinding my teeth, and for the sake of my blood pressure and psychological wellbeing I’m not going to make myself go feral over it right now. Deep breaths, K, deep breaths...

3. In things I did like: Poe got promoted to general, and he made Finn a general alongside him. He really grew into his position, and I’m so proud to see him as General Dameron of the Resistance. He deserves it. 

4. Poe and Finn had SO many good scenes and such great chemistry. I loved seeing them bounce off each other, and their relationship made me laugh and smile and feel warm, even as everything else was falling apart. I love my boys!

5. Poe gets grossed out by bones. Canon. Love a squeamish king.

6. Oh, ugh, I just remembered that they tried to frame Poe and Rey as having an aggressive relationship with each other and I rolled my eyes. How dumb can they be? Ugh. I don’t even have the energy to try and unpack how ridiculous all that is. More deep breaths...

7. In terms of the worst thing to happen in the movie... R*ylo, like, gets shoehorned in. Honestly, looking back at all the predictions I made a few months back, I’m entirely right; everything I predicted came to pass. This included.

It was shitty and bad and nearly all the cast has spoken out against it now that their contracts with Disney aren’t as binding, and seeing it happen on the big screen was just... oh my god, it was horrifying.

It really was.

But thankfully, Kylo died, so the ship can’t really continue! Yeehaw!

8. I actually did like parts of the ending. I’ll talk about that more if anyone asks more specific questions, but right now, I’m kinda burning out because of the wide net this ask casts, so I’ll have to defer for the moment.

At any rate, it all happened exactly the way I thought it would, bleh. Like, so much shit in the movie went down exactly the way my TRoS predictions post said, it’s almost scary. 

Honestly, though, just running through all this is exhausting me; I really can’t make myself go through it all in this particular format. So, I’ll just leave this here as it is, and if anyone has any specific questions-- what I thought of specific moments, characters, scenes, etc-- send an ask! But this is all just really wide and general and burning my brain out to try and process it all again, so more specificity in future asks might help me stay more on track and not get overwhelmed trying to explain every single thing all at once. 

I have tons and tons of thoughts about it, ranging from what I loved to what I’d have done different about the whole series, but I just don’t have the psychological wherewithal to make myself write everything out in one giant, dense, indecipherable post: it’s just all too much, so I’d need to break it down into smaller, more specific questions.

This probably isn’t a super-satisfying answer, but feel free to just send specific asks and I’ll answer them, no matter how many! It just helps to have a specific line of thought to follow, so feel free to ask about each individual thing and I’ll try to answer!

Thanks!

Fic: No Pride in Exlusionism

This month's theme is 'gatekeeping'. Today's piece looks at gatekeeping within the LGBTQ+ community.

"You're home early," Roger said. Mae sat heavily on the sofa next to him, kicking off her heels. She leaned over to kiss his cheek and then leaned back, staring at the ceiling.

Roger muted the tv. "You okay?"

"I dropped out of the planning committee."

"Why?"

Mae shook her head, took a deep shuddering breath. "This party...Gays for Halloween. I wanted a different name from the start. What does that even mean? Gay people support a holiday that many people think is an American import? Pumpkins in pride colours?"

Roger shifted to look at her. "Actually I can see paper pumpkins in pride colours."

Mae gave a wry smile. "Me too. That's not why I quit. It was Josie mostly, her and Jane and Peter. I was filling up the urn in the kitchen before we got started and I heard Josie talking by the serving hatch. Saying they were so glad John had joined us, an actual gay. She was feeling the committee was being overrun by bihets."

"She said that?" Roger took Mae's hand.

"I had three serious relationships with women before we got married," Mae said. "I'm bisexual. Marrying you doesn't change that."

"I know." He squeezed her hand. "I know."

Mae squeezed back. "Me and Tim and Desiree are all bi. Laura's lesbian but Josie is suspicious of anyone who's ever dated a man though she gives Dan a pass for a past girlfriend. Anyway Jane was giggling and agreeing because I think she fancies Josie - only reason she agreed to be vice chair when Rachel said she needed fewer responsibilities this year. And Peter...my God."

Roger waited patiently. One of the cats wandered over to inspect Mae's discarded shoes.

"I'm not that much older than most of them," Mae said. "But they don't seem to know anything about the history of the gay rights movement. Queer history, except Josie says queer is a slur despite it being reclaimed and used to push for greater awareness. And so they're trying to force out anyone who isn't a gay man or a good enough lesbian. Peter had a lot of opinions on the right kind of trans people who should be allowed to participate. The group has become increasingly exclusionary."

"So you quit?"

"Yes. I will not gatekeep," Mae said. "I will not tolerate bihet being thrown around to try and exclude bisexuals, or cishets to exclude asexuals, or get involved in the dysphoria debate to try and debate the rights of trans people. Josie doesn't want LGBT let alone Q, I, and A. Josie and Peter want L and G and screw everyone else."

Roger sighed. "Maybe there's another group you can join. A more inclusive one."

"Maybe." Mae let go of Roger's hand and got to her feet. "I'm making coffee, want one?"

"Please."

Roger knew Mae had found kinship, friendship, and purpose over the last six years she'd worked with the LGBT+ community group. She'd miss it. But he also knew she was principled and wouldn't regret quitting rather than supporting exclusionism.

"Did you talk to Maggie about this?" he asked when Mae returned with their drinks.

"I told her I quit, apologised that she'd probably have to pick up my role in organising the Halloween party."

"What about Peter? Is Maggie the right kind of trans woman according to him?"

Mae shrugged. "Maggie can take care of herself," she said. "My only regret is that if Peter talks out of turn like I heard him doing with Josie is I won't get to watch Maggie rip him a new one."

Notes and further reading

A lot of this gatekeeping takes place online; people say they've only experienced being excluded from online spaces and not groups in real life. However there are some people reporting being harassed at Pride for being seemingly straight while being bisexual, trans, or nb in a heterosexual relationship. The people who say the A in the LGBTQA is for ally not asexual to gatekeep are probably the same ones trying to gatekeep anyone who doesn't look 'gay' enough from participating in Pride.

"With the advent of queer theory and the launch of Queer as Folk, “queer” became used online as a more concise umbrella term than the full LGBT+ acronym (which, depending on who you ask, is LGBTQQIP2SAA). Today, interpretations of “queer” go a step further, and its acceptance generally splits along generational lines. Many young people — myself included — view “queer” as a term defining all nonstraight, nonbinary identities. “Queer” addresses the fluidity of gender and sexual orientation" - https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/2017/8/02/21-words-queer-community-has-reclaimed-and-some-we-havent#media-gallery-media-2

3 Differences Between the Terms ‘Gay’ and ‘Queer’ — and Why It Matters - https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/03/difference-between-gay-queer/

"The word "queer" has only recently been identified as a slur because of TERFs and exclusionists. Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERF) and radical gender/sexuality bianarists are flooding social media and blogging sites with propaganda smearing the word queer in the hopes of silencing all of us who don’t identify with their hate politics. Queer is the one word that doesn’t worship exclusion." - https://aminoapps.com/c/lgbt-1/page/blog/history-of-the-word-queer/BQ4p_GxRHwu5Xz35RWB31oKMLp8XJ8r7Ybo

Tumblr repsonse to "What does bihet mean" - https://bisexual-community.tumblr.com/post/93798259302/this-probably-sounds-stupid-but-what-does-bihet

On ace discourse and exclusionism on the internet vs in real life - https://medium.com/@meganhoins/the-rhetoric-of-digital-ace-discourse-4a690792f0bc

"According to 2013 Pew Research Center data, about 84 percent of bisexual adults who are in “committed relationships” are with “opposite-sex partners.” Within a broader LGBT community that too often guesses someone’s sexual orientation based on who they happen to be with at the moment, that statistic means many bisexual people get read as “straight”—or, at least, something less than fully queer." https://www.thedailybeast.com/why-bisexuals-feel-ignored-and-insulted-at-lgbt-pride

"Transmedicalism is a term for a wide range of beliefs in the transgender community that are critical of transgender people who haven't medically transitioned and/or don't experience major dysphoria. Many transmedicalists (or "transmeds" for short) focus on gatekeeping....Although the debate has been going since the '60s, it has gained more notoriety in the Internet age, particularly on Tumblr. Transmedicalists may be called "transmeds" or "truscum," while anti-transmedicalists may be called "tucutes" or (often erroneously) "transtrenders." " - https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Transmedicalism

{{ “Be Honest” mun meme

{{ Questions list taken from here:

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/hellhaeths/182092480007

What would prevent you from following someone? Not trigger-tagging, or not using cuts for ns//fw scenes. (I have really intense emet*phobia, so if you don't tag for that, or won't tag for it upon request, I absolutely cannot follow. Savior catches most posts for me, even if they're not tagged, but there are just So Many Euphemisms and Various Ways to Describe It that it only works 75% of the time.)

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why? As far as blog theme, not really-- I just like fiddling around to find something that evokes their General Vibe, and seeing what themes other muns like! I won't judge by them though. When it comes to thread aesthetics, I actually prefer to leave them utterly unformatted and plain-text as possible. I have ADHD and Fancy Unicode and Symbols and All That makes it really hard for me to focus on what's going on in the thread, not to mention I don't have the attention span to match another mun's Styling like that. (Also, fun fact: I always have my Tumblr Dash at 75% zoom, and Dove’s theme already has text at a Very Readable Size, so nothing ever needs to be Smallified for me.)

What current rp trend do you hate? I don't think there are any I "hate", though I get confused on all the Different Verses that everyone has. (In all my years of writing fanfic, I've only ever written Exactly One (1) AU, and I never read them outside of rp. AUs just aren't my thing.)

How do you explain rp to someone in the real world? "Taking turns writing what the characters are doing." Everyone afk has been pretty supportive. (They all know I'm a writer, so like... it's Nothing New.)

Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why? I genuinely don't care either way! Guy, gal, nonbinary pal: as long as they're fun to write with, I don't mind a bit. (And Dove has no preference, either.)

Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why? Statistically, I have 3 female muses (4 if we count Evangeline as her own person and not just A Part of Dove Manifested)... and only 1 male. (And technically, both Srentha and Leyla are genderqueer, so it's really only Dove and Kary that are cis women.) But that's not intentional? Evangeline is feminine because Dove is feminine, and Kary was originally my girlfriend's-- if she was a male I still would've hardcore adopted him. It just kind of worked out that way. I just enjoy writing people, not gender roles.

Name any three things about the rpc that bother you. 1.) The aforementioned Verse Thing. (It doesn't really bother me, I'm just easily confused by Similar-Except-Vaguely-Different Things due to the ADHD.) 2.) Some people still don't know that godmodding isn't okay. 3.) The distaste for OCs??? I guess that doesn't exactly "bother" me either, because people are allowed to have preferences... but, I mean, I spent several years active in, and then Actually Running, a group of 1300 members on dA completely DEDICATED to OCs, and it was a blast, so I just don't understand why people don't like rping with them as much as canon characters. I personally find OCs more satisfying to explore, more surprising in every thread because you just don't know what to expect, and you have a LOT more freedom for plotting and reactions! Like! You can Shed the Constraints of Canon and Revel in your Newfound OC-Based Freedom!! Truly Become your Character's GOD!!!

What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not? Nah, I love the variety different muns can bring to the same muse! Other people can stay exclusive if they like. Being an OC mun, it doesn't exactly affect me. 8F

Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them? (I don't really know how this pertains to RP?) But there was one time when someone gave me a really vague commission request, out of the blue, for a fandom I know absolutely nothing about, and just kept saying things like "Whatever you think they'd do!" when I asked for plot, characterization, or preference details... I never finished it because I Didn't Even Know how to START.

What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started? The reply doesn't have to be perfect. Or dramatic, even. Not every reply is going to shatter someone's heart or absolutely make their day. And that's perfectly okay!

Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it? Nnnnot on Tumblr. (There was a LOT of drama amongst admins of the dA group, which strongly attributed to the decline of me RPing on dA, but I definitely do not regret standing up for myself. I do wish I'd been able to foresee it, though, and brought someone else on staff who was actually going to, you know, do the job they applied for?)

Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind? Never! Well not on Tumblr anyways. There was a period where my favorite partners were all going inactive, and I couldn't find anyone who wanted to interact with Dove, so of course I was despairing, wondering if I'd ever get to explore what I wanted to explore with her. But then I decided, you know what, so what if I can't find any canon Titans to advance her Tumblr timeline? I'll just fill in the blanks with fanfic canon, and work from there! Making that decision was so freeing.

Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person? Oh, positive, absolutely. I may be too busy to really attend to it much nowadays, but my writing style has improved DRAMATICALLY, I've made so many friends, and I've learned things about Dove that I never would've discovered in the stories alone. (Or at least, it might've been discovered on a ten-year delay. 8F)

How has rp changed you personally? I was able to find fast friends, make connections with people over common interests, and my very first experience with leadership happened because I hung around a TTOC dA chatroom (because, specifically, I’d gotten ADDICTED to rp), came to love the people and characters, and decided, when the current admins had to step down, I would like to step up.

If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why? I'd like tags to stop breaking, that'd be nice. (But that’s an issue with Tumblr itself, not the rps.)

Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why? Pff, no. Mostly because if I really want something to happen, I'll either post an open, OR I'll do what I'm doing here, and just answer the questions myself. 8F I have a lot of fun doing this with headcanon question lists.

Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? No, but that's because I'm all about learning (+spreading) positive self-talk, de-escalation, and avoiding drama. Drama doesn't serve anyone.

Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why? I address it and then block the sender, because I want everyone to know I don't stand for that. And I have this stubborn streak about standing up for myself, so, you know... Gotta Address It First. (And I've defended Dove from Mary Sue accusations since I started posting about her in 2006, so it doesn't bother me, but I love pointing out all the reasons that, Jack Rider voice: You Are Wrong!)

Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with? Nope, but that's because if I can't or don't want to, I'm open and transparent about it. (Not on Tumblr, anyways. There was one particular person in the dA chats that kept trying to make RPs All About His Muse, but we shut that down too.)

Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to? Hell no! I've never Automatically Followed Back, and it's right there in my rules, I need a little communication before I start interacting.

What would make you block someone? Anon hate, reblogging/replying to rps that don't involve them, starting their own rps on my posts, Bad Takes in the Tags, shipping something I genuinely can't stand... I use the block button pretty liberally. I just don't need that stuff in my life, in my tags, or on my dash.

Have you ever stolen something from someone else? Well I have adopted a couple of headcanons re: Canon Characters from the teentitansheadcanons blog. (Like hc that, one time, Beast Boy was a bug and someone almost squished him, so now they put all the bugs outside, just in case. I love that for some reason, so I adopted it.) And every now and again I'll see something in fanfic I like: Azarath Has Two Suns, I saw that in a fanfic and it just felt so RIGHT, so I adopted that too. But, I mean, rping as an OC, there's really not a lot I can steal. 8F

Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it? Not on Tumblr, but somebody once stole a picture of Srentha from dA and used it in a random webs-page blog about their dreams? ??? I have no idea why they used him, or how they even fOUND him, but I kinda just shrugged and let it go.

Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not? (Isn't this basically the same question as "are you exclusive"? Because I have the same answer. I am, because I like seeing other muns' interpretations of the same character.)

How do you feel about vague posting? Use your own judgement for your own blog, but it's not something I do myself. If I have to vaguepost to vent something, I'll usually go on a more private blog, or at least stick it under a Read More.

Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back? Yes! I like reading rps almost as much as I like writing them.

Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting? Always.

What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it? I try to! Sometimes I can't figure out what to send in for the blog I get in from, but most of the time, I'll send something any time I reblog something. I really appreciate it when people send something in before reblogging from me, personally. c: (I get it if you can’t or don’t want to. But it sure is nice!)

How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all? Not really, but I rarely use slang at all. Unless I'm actually talking about rp, muses, muns, etc, then I'll use those words.

Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? I'm that Ravenclaw who always asks questions as soon as I encounter I don't know, and I don't use words without knowing what they mean. Kinda defeats the purpose of words that way.

Have you ever experienced discrimination? Well, Dove has, since people have that "I don't like OCs" mindset. Or "she's related to a canon character, so she's automatically a Mary Sue". It's not as big of a Discrimination as sexism or racism, don't get me wrong! But it HAS limited our scope of interaction, and I personally think it’s a little unfair to make judgments like that.

How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog? Go for it.

Have you ever cried while writing a reply? Mmmmaybe once? More often my heartrate just raises a little in an exciting moment, or I write out a ten-paragraph response in a one-hour fit of delighted manic wordsmithing, but I've definitely been touched. (I'm just... not very good at crying when I'm focused on writing. 8F)

Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own? There's definitely a bias towards my own! (Before my EHD died, I had about a hundred and fifty rps saved as word documents.) But I also enjoy reading others' threads.

What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you? Hmm...Spelling and grammatical errors. When I was copying chat rps to word docs, I started editing the replies for readability, and that habit kinda transferred to Tumblr, so when I'm not in a hurry, or I have an Unusually Long Attention Span, when I copy the replies, sometimes I'll just edit them, but I'm not mad about it. Just got into that habit.

How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t? It is absolutely ESSENTIAL for me to have triggers tagged for ME, so of course I extend the same courtesy to others. I don't presume to know what triggers people; I've made it very clear that if anyone needs something tagged, they just have to ask, and I'll tag it. No questions asked. (Though if they want to vent about it, I'm open to that too.)

What advice would you give to someone new to rp? Just GO for it! I know it can be scary and intimidating and overwhelming to see a great writer and think, "Gosh I want to interact with them So Much".. .and you know what, sometimes you will get rejected. Sometimes you just won't mesh with muns. Sometimes your characters don't have a very exciting dynamic. But you'll never find those Goldmine RP Partners if you don't at least ASK.

"Did you just assume my gender?!?!"

And other stereotypes of trans people (and, let's be real, other minorities have their own aggressiveness stereotypes as well, but it's 3 am and I can't think of any) are kind of.. bad.

Like. I can't speak for other trans people, but how often do I get misgendered by people who don't know I'm trans? All the fucking time. Even if I medically transitioned to be more masculine, it would still happen, because no one knows what the fuck a nonbinary is.

But I have never gotten angry and yelled "did you just assume my gender?!" (Or even said that in any other tone of voice?) And I feel like the vast majority of trans people also do not go around yelling at (especially cis) people for incorrectly assuming their genders.

According to one person I know, this has happened at least once online. And I do not believe that no trans person has every been offended by the assumption of gender and sincerely said "did you just assume my gender." But people like to bring it up constantly; it's okay to misgender trans people because they'll get offended no matter which gender you assume they are. It's okay to refuse to allow them into the correct bathroom because trans people are mean. It's okay to strip trans people of their rights because they're aggressive about their identities.

When my state had a bill or whatever to legalize same sex marriage, a lot of people voted against it. According to my conservative dad, a lot of (mostly straight probably) people who would've voted for it were told that they were homophobic for one reason or another, so instead they voted against it.

I honestly doubt that many of the people who voted against it did so because gay people were mean to them, and I also doubt that those who were told they were being homophobic were told so for no reason (or for reasons that aren't actually homophobic).

Like. People in privileged groups have this idea that if a person in a minority group doesn't sugar-coat everything and isn't 1000% nice all of the time, then it's okay to dehumanize the entire minority group and strip them of their rights. (See also the angry black woman/ Latina stereotypes.)

But I also think that people in privileged groups also tend to overstate how much people in minority groups actually get angry and loud and mean? Again, I don't doubt that no trans person has ever said "did you just assume my gender," and I know for a fact that minorites do get emotional and upset and, yes, loud and aggressive at times when confronted with bigotry, both overt and subtle.

But the amount of niceness that we give is a fucking lot, and it's exhausting. I know I've seen several posts by people in, especially racial, minorities, pointing out that we don't have to be nice to our oppressors, and that if we aren't that doesn't mean they have an excuse to continue oppressing us. But! Again! We are, as a group, generally speaking from my experience, so! Fucking! Nice, and polite, and excuse me but would you pretty please mind not trying to kill me and mine no pressure thanks?!

It is super dangerous to be aggressively a minority. It is super dangerous to be aggressively, proudly, boldly, a minority. A trans person correcting someone who's misgendered them risks the possibility that that person will commit violence against them (do you remember that deodorant ad, I think it was for dove, where a trans woman is afraid to leave her bathroom stall because other, presumably cis, women had entered the bathroom?). A woman who turns down a man's advances has to do so gently, sometimes in a way that leaves her response open to interpretation, because otherwise she risks the possibility that he will commit violence against her.

We don't even get the chance to be aggressive as minorites as often as privileged people claim we are. Every fucking time I bring up trans people at all, I'm meet with "oh, you know how they are, 'did you just assume my gender' and all that crap, special snowflakes who can't handle the real world" no! We aren't! And we do handle the real world, the world where we're constantly misgendered, called abominations, told we don't exist, that we're just trying to be special. We deal with that shit all the time! And we're not aggressive about it, not nearly to the degree that they think we are.

It's not safe to be.