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#yall should check out the whole thing!!!!!
waywardsalt · 4 months
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anyways if you like linebeck as a silly pathetic wet meow meow dilf then go and watch tiger & bunny
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rabesbabe · 2 months
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I like the way you kiss me p1.
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sam carpenter x reader
i like the way you kiss me pt.2
Summary: You catch sam’s eyes in a grocery store and slide her your number and after you guys call she comes home one day to see you and Tara working on a project together.
A/N: hey yall…it’s been so long uhm 2 years to be exact but, i’m back!! And we’re not gonna talk abt how it’s been two years and my writing hasn’t improved… Anyway, Here’s a fic abt sam from scream shes literally so fine and a cutie patootie so ofc I had to write about her. Also part two for this fic has already been made so I’ll post that soon!
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Milk, Pickles, Ice cream, Spray deodorant and, Toothpaste. Milk, Pickles, Ice cream, Spray deodorant and, Toothpaste. Milk, Pickles, Ice cream, Spray deodorant and, Toothpaste. Sam reads over her grocery list times and times again to make sure she doesn’t leave anything. After what happened last Halloween the corner store is her least favorite place to be. So she tries to make her trips as fast as possible.
Sam looks up at the clock above the glass covered register to see the time. Suddenly something or, someone catches her eye. A beautiful woman with y/h/c and y/e/c walks toward the counter and grabs a few bags before going to other isles. Sam stops in her tracks shocked by the woman’s beauty.
It’s not like she didn’t know she was bi but for some reason every-time she saw a beautiful woman it was a different feeling than when she would see an attractive man. It’s like water suddenly being poured on her. A feeling almost impossible to explain unless you’re experiencing it in the moment. It takes Sam a moment to realize she hasn’t stopped staring at you for almost 30 seconds. You notice this and raise your eyebrow at Sam which causes her to look down and pretend nothing happened.
You walk over to her and Sam stays still as a mannequin not daring to move. The closer you get the more Sam starts to sweat. “Excuse me?” You say as u let out a chuckle. Suddenly Sam realizes she’s standing right in front of the toothpaste as if that wasn’t what she came here to get the whole time. “Oh.” Sam moves away obviously embarrassed and shocked by her behavior towards the shorter woman.
She’s usually not this awkward.
You grab your toothpaste and move on puzzled by the interaction until it hits you why the girl in the isle reacted towards you like that. On a whim you decide to write your number on a piece of paper. After you check out you look around the corner store to find the girl and as you go up to her all you say is “Just incase you wanna go grocery shopping again.” And you hand her the number with a smirk. Sam is left confused by your attempt at flirting with her and gives you a puzzled look as you leave the store.
“Tara,” Sam says as she opens her apartment door. “I’m home.”
“God, what took you so long?,” Tara asks practically sprinting into the kitchen to see what groceries Sam got. “No hot fries? Sam I requested one thing come on…” Sam looks down at the girl and laughs. “Whatever, you know I’m trying to get us to eat healthier.” Walking to the sink to wash her hands Sam empty’s her pockets not noticing the paper with your number falling out.
“Hey what’s this?” Tara asks grabbing the paper before Sam can. “Nothing” says Sam desperately trying to dry her hands before her sister reads the note. “Looks like a special someone’s number to me…” “It’s nothing Tara come on give it up.”
“Fine whatever you say Sam” Tara says in a teasing voice. “I’m going to back to my room, oh and also, one of my friends from uni is gonna come over tomorrow we need to work on a project together.” Sam nods as she finishes unpacking her groceries.
“Don’t forget to call that girl Sam” says a giggling Tara.
Later that night as Sam is showering she wonders why you would even give her your number and if she should call you. Would it be rude not to? It’s not like she was looking for anyone to date. She hadn’t dated since (I forgot his name lmao). And she wasn’t sure she ever would again. Maybe you guys could be friends? She doesn’t have a lot of those. Sam decided she’d call you after she got out the shower but If you didn’t answer the first time then she wouldn’t try again.
Sam sat on the edge of her bed biting her fingers out of anxiousness. She dialed your number and prayed you wouldn’t answer. But secretly she knew she wanted you to. After two rings the phone clicked and she heard a sweet voice say “Hello.”
She stumbled across her words for a second before she said “Hey, uhm I’m the girl from the grocery store I’m not sure if you remeber but you gave me your number?” “Oh my gosh hi! Of course I didn’t forget how could I?” “What do you mean how could you?” Sam asks. “Well you were gorgeous first off and we had a funny interaction!” You say your smile visible in your voice. Sam lightly chuckles as she replies with a shy “oh”. That night you guys talked for hours about whatever you found interesting until you had to say goodbye saying you had things to work on the next day but you promised you’d call her again when you got the chance.
That was the first time in months Sam went to bed not feeling sick to her stomach.
Sam served her last latte of the day before walking home to her apartment. She constantly looked over her shoulder hands ready to grab her pocket knife at any moment if she needed to.
You sat on Tara’s living room floor talking to her about the project you two were doing, clothes, and relationships. All while stuffing ur faces with snacks and watching she’s all that. Suddenly you heard keys jingling. “God my sister’s home, if she’s makes any rude comments toward you please ignore it and forgive me. She’s a tad bit overprotective.” You eyed Tara and nodded. Once the door opened your jaw was on the floor.
Sam was her sister? You didn’t dare utter a word as Sam looked at you as if she had seen a ghost.
“Sam this is y/n. We’re doing our project.” She looked up at Sam begging and praying she wouldn’t say anything out of pocket. Sam nodded and set her stuff down as fast as possible before going into her room to get away from where you two were.
“Well that was weird.” Tara said. You nodded and tried to wrap your mind around what just happened. You and Tara worked for hours not once seeing Sam. It was so late by the time you guys decided to call it quits Tara offered for you to just stay the night since she didn’t want you waking alone at night. You got comfy on the coach until Sam walked out of her room for the first time in hours. She eyed you and the blankets on the couch then she looked over at Tara. “Are you really making your guest sleep on the couch?” “What my beds too small for us both to fit where else can she go.” Tara rolled her eyes at her sister. “Unless you wanna offer your bed up…?” You went wide eyed, “No please I’m fine on the couch I swear.” Sam let out a breath as she said “No. You’re not. You can stay in my bed tonight I really don’t mind.” Trying your hardest to escape the awkwardness you just nodded and let Sam walk you over to her room.
As you set on her bed you called her name before she walked out. She turned back to look at you her expression shockingly cold. “Sam, I’m really sorry I didn’t know Tara was your sister-“ “You don’t need to apologize y/n.” She said cutting you off. She walked out of her room leaving you sitting on her bed slightly upset. She knew it was better this way. Neither her or Tara would get hurt. But she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if she told you she still wanted to talk to you.
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sm-baby · 5 months
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Mushy please forgive me my bio mom already abandoned me I can’t lose another mom
Nahhh, you were well punished and you were a sport about the whole thing 😌 Youre forgiven, my child.
Yall should check out Saytrrose's blog, they make FIRE art 🔥🔥🔥
Saytrrose Im on my fucking way to make Racing!AU showtime YOURE NOT FUCKING SAFE🫵
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mediumgayitalian · 1 month
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fic rec friday 14
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
at last (i see the light) by @theroyalsavage
Of a tower, a missing prince with the sun in his hair and the ability to heal with a touch, and a terrible-dangerous-very-bad bandit who’s never been all that good at being very bad, dangerous, or terrible. An AU based off of Disney’s Tangled.
IVE BEEN W A I T I N G FOR A SOLANGELO TANGLED AU OMG. and this ATE. was so fucking good. obviously bc its theroyalsavage but still omg. sorry for harrassing u btw. but i LOVE this. nico as flynn pov and just fucking reluctantly smitten from the beginning.....oh i know that's right
2. a letter to the moon (it is not brighter than you) by @theroyalsavage
When his kingdom is plagued by a series of unsolvable murders, Prince Will Solace must confront several things: tragedy, helplessness, and the dizzy-sweet inevitability of falling in love.
is this, like the author's note indicates, reminiscent of bbc merlin? yes. and so i LOVE. rivals to friends to lovers my BELOVED. royalty aus my BELOVED. and honestly yall should be supporting my royalsavage agenda purely by her titles like LOOK at these. my heart hurts like
3. In the darkest grays by @izlaria
[The sun bursts, clouds break.] Nico di Angelo loves in color. This is something that Will Solace has always known.
hi. i am obsessed w this fic. a nico character atudy that is disguised as will character study that IS a will character study........something something they are braided strings of fate something something....also! sally jackson my love!! she is everything to me and of COURSE she would show up here!! i am also obsessed w longtime pining will like is it even a solangelo fic if will has not been in the trenches since he was ten years old
4. eudaimonia by @forochel
Nico watched Percy wave his arms excitedly at Annabeth and breathed through the habitual twisting of his stomach. For a moment, he thought of walking over to them - ever the masochist, he thought wryly to himself - but then Annabeth threw her head back in a laugh, and Nico dismissed the thought. There would be another time and another place. ** Diverges SLIGHTLY from canon in that Nico does not confess to Percy right off the bat - he gets the chance to heal, find himself and a place to stand in camp, and form friendships. Also, attempts to fix the whole Solangelo shoehorning thing.
AUTHOR IF YOU ARE STILL ACTIVE. FOROCHEL IF YOU SEE THIS. I AM BEGGING. KNEES ON THE GROUND HANDS CLASPED ROSARY CHOKING LIKE A NOOSE. PLEASE. PLEASE UPDATE THIS SERIES IM BEGGING. I KNOW IT IS UNGRATEFUL BUT 20K IS NOT ENOUGH. THIS IS N I C O S VOICE. LIKE ACTUALLY. dude it KILLS me this is HIM 😭😭😭 i cannot get over how wonderful this is and how FRESH....like this came out right after boo! it was fresh in ur mind!! and you went CRAZY like this is SO SO GOOD!! this fic is CONSTANTLY rotating in my mind and i am constantly thinking about the path it carved.....hve never gotten over it ever
5. Baby Satyrs and Charming Boyfriends by @biancadiangeno / @fiestiest
Nico di Angelo had absolutely no idea how babysitting works, and Will Solace was having way too much fun teasing him to actually help out.
this fic is so silly and fun. i love it!! and the ending made me giggle will needed that humbling
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
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vvh0adie · 10 months
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watching my friends leave tumblr is really sad
you literally can't win
at this point the writer's strike should just be a cultural movement
like ppl are writing for FREE and you're complaining about turn out rate and shit
we have lives and some of us (HELL ALL OF US) have some form of mental illness, so we can't be fucking cogs all day and churn out fics.
writing is suppose to be therapeutic and writers want to share that with you to ease the tension of this hellscape we live in
but some of these readers and even fellow writers are taking it too far with the bullying
like its mean and nasty. you don't know what someone is going thru.
instead of asking for updates how about check and see if your writer is mentally stable to do so. that right there is a booster, to have someone say "are you okay?"
and then the whole accusations of favoring a certain member/character. if that person is my muse or safe space then of course imma write for them. most solo writers i see don't even talk bad about other people. its a SOLO account. think of it as a shrine blog of writing if that helps. they're not there to trash, just share their writing for other's who might also share the same muse.
then you have readers who can't separate fiction from reality. just because someone writes a character with irl people faceclaimed onto them doesnt mean they actually think that person would be or do those things irl. i'll be the first to say that i only gave my characters bts faces cuz thats who im attracted to and they're who i imagine would be casted to play my characters.
then IN THE YEAR OF 2023 we still have ppl making fun of their peers writing and also THE FACT THAT ENGLISH MIGHT NOT BE THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE? that's nasty asf. majority of us dont even speak 'proper' english as our first language no way. you only shooting yourself in the foot. don't act like you dont have beta readers... like what are yall on?
and anybody who gets on THAT BLOG behind anon is an opp. not just to the writing community but in how you interact with the world all together. yall don't know how to talk to people anymore? it may have started as a place for critique and accountability but no one is bringing receipts or critical thinking anymore. its mainly for drama and not rehabilitation. yall serious scare me in how we'd see the reality of social change applied to the real world. like i'd be more scared to let yall around the prisoners with minor offenses cuz yall act like its the end of the world and that change cant happen. yall give nobody room to change ignorant stances but ignore the real egregious shit because you honestly dont have the bandwidth to take on actual fascist views.
also the plagiarism has got to stop too. if you need writing resources just ask. but practice makes perfect. so you're gonna have to write yourself. you may not like your writers voice but you will feel shitty in the long run when you don't feel like its you putting those words on the paper. it literally just prolongs your inferiority. make something you're proud of and don't hurt your fellow writers. we went thru the process just like you. we earned it. and most of us aren't gatekeepers, we will help you.
like its really tuff being on here sometimes. cuz if you not being hounded by readers its your own community praying on your down fall.
we have to do better.
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dirtybg3confessions · 2 months
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Hey, Mod Bug here again to respond to some questions in the inbox!
Is some kind of mod drama going on? Is that why nobody is posting anymore?
No, no worries! Mainly, pretty much the most active mod has stepped back, for as far as I understand, the same reason why i stopped posting again. It can happen that making content for blogs like these starts to feel more like a chore than a fun little side activity, and that is usually when one should stop, or at least take a break.
I cannot speak for the others, but I personally noticed after the wave of me posting a bunch of stuff, that I got physically and mentally unwell, so I just had to leave for a while.
I do believe that we all love this blog, it's fun, but it's also a lot of work and exhausting, and when that spark of BG3 obsession dies down, it becomes harder to run this, which i believe yall can understand.
"Would you guys consider sharing the asks people sent so they don't get lost?"
Considering that we currently have 2200+ asks in the inbox - I am for it. Maybe, if everyone is okay with not having their own post, i'd like to collect a bunch of confessions for one character and just make some posts that contain multiple confessions at once? Just to get them finally out there.
In fact, if the other mods are okay (I'll ask them privately again if i don't forget) and you all are fine with some big collection posts - i can try and get some done in the next days.
Definetly sort them by characters and roughly by kinks/content.
"would adding new mods in help with the posting? i see a lot of people wanting to help out to keep this thang going."
I cannot say anything about the whole adding more mods thing, the blog owner ship has been recently transferred to another person, so maybe, internally i could check with them and the others what they think (i guess we'll let yall know)
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stormblessed95 · 9 months
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so is the video with jk and a girl in his apartment real?
I'll answer this once so you all will stop sending me asks about it, because my god. Relax people.
1. It's ILLEGAL to film someone without their knowledge inside their place of residence like this. How the FUCK are you people all losing your shit about if it's real or not and what that means for shipping and not about the absolute lack of boundaries and how fucked up it is to film someone like that?? Report the video and the people spreading it to Big Hit. Doesn't matter if it's real or not, at this point it's got JKs name attached to it and they should know. They want to know about malicious rumors like this.
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^ please do so if you care about them at all
2. It doesn't look real to me. It looks like a set up, which is what predictably happens often to BTS members whenever they have a comeback. In fact, 5 days ago someone warned people on Twitter that they heard about someone making up rumors and to not believe them and be ready to report as antis had a whole plan to try and turn JKs Chinese fans against him and since it was posted on Weibo and targeted towards a Chinese audience first... that tracks as well. The video came out of no where from a brand new account and then all of a sudden a ton of random anti accounts were sharing it everywhere. It's supposed to be distracting ARMYs from streaming his new song and give him a "scandal" (because oh no, someone in their mid 20s might date someone! Gasp!) Is it working? Because we should all honestly care less....
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^you can check their account to see the thread too if you want
3. Multiple people have pointed out all over Twitter the minor layout differences of the apartment and how things don't totally match up that get overlooked due to how grainy the video is. (Creepy ass video.) And again, NOT THE POINT. I doubt it's actually JK. Like I truly do. It only sort of looks like him too. So whatever. But his name is attached and people are going to believe whatever they want to believe now. But honestly. True or not, if you are going to be more mad that an idol is fucking someone (no matter who) over that their privacy was invaded, your priorities are screwed up. And that's a you problem.
4. No, this isn't like the Tae and Jennie thing either, this is such a drastically different type of *leak* (that's I don't even think it IS a leak and not real, but that's just me, yall can think he is happily together with this girl if you want) and the focus on shipping and the scandal of that whole thing instead of their privacy being invaded and people just not caring about that is just as fucked up now as it was then. And that's the only comparable thing to this scenario here.
Hugs and condolences though i guess to anyone actually upset. Goodnight.
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somestorythoughts · 10 months
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Protective Rage Obi-Wan Fic
So. @fanfic-obsessed has this cool Protective Rage Obi-Wan story idea that yall should check out because it's really good and they've got a ton of cool AU ideas. And I had an idea about an apology scene for it and then the plot bunny that makes you do things like overcomplicate worldbuilding said "you know you could do a whole fic" and now I have 4000 words. I was thinking of splitting it up into parts cause that's a long post but frankly I'm tired and should've been in bed like 90min ago cause I have work tomorrow and mornings suck so it's staying a one shot with the paragraphs spaces cause I am NOT reformatting that now. Enjoy.
            Usually, when Quinlan’s pushing himself to finish a mission through this much pain, he’s running on determination, maybe some spite. This time it’s desperation.
            He’s not sure if the shouting starts before or after he hits the door panel – or maybe it’s been going on the whole time – but he can see Obi-Wan through the spots in his eyes and that’s good, that’s good, he can’t finish this and maybe his friend can –
            “Quin!”
            It’s like leaning on stone, Obi-Wan’s mind wonderfully shielded under the worry in his voice and Quinlan holds up a datachip for the hands around his arms. “Coded. Please.”
            “I’ll take care of it. I promise.”
            He’s staring up at the ceiling now but that’s alright. Obi-Wan has the data. Quinlan can break now.*
Ahsoka isn’t panicking, but only because she’s had a lot of practice keeping her head and she’s not friends with Master Vos. She’s met him though, and knows Obi-Wan and he are close, and she’s scared for him.
            “That’s an order Marrow!” Obi-Wan snaps and the medic someone called hisses in frustration from where Ahsoka’s holding him back. She isn’t sure why Obi-Wan’s so adamant that no one get closer to them, but she knows it’s serious. For all Obi-Wan hates the medbay he’ll work with the medics, let them see him elsewhere, and he knows better than to keep serious injuries from them.
            “General his leg is gangrenous if he doesn’t get immediate treatment he could lose it! As the head medic-”
            “Quin has to be seen by a Temple healer anyone else will make it worse. I don’t like it anymore than you do Marrow.” He’s resting a hand on Master Vos’ head and is holding his hand with the other, trying to sooth his mumbling friend.
            “Can you explain why while we wait for Healer Eerin?” She asked.
            Obi-Wan frowns, the look he gets when he’s trying to figure out how to explain something Force-related in English. “Marrow. The troopers who have trouble with excessive sound. If they were injured would you treat them in a noisy medbay?”
            Marrow scowls, but he stops splitting his attention between Master Vos’ leg and how best to get around Ahsoka and says, “Of course not. Not if there was any way to avoid it.”
            “Quin’s psychometric. It’s a useful skill, but sometimes it’s like Force hypersensitivity.”
            Cody interrupts as Anakin enters. “Healer Eerin just arrived. She’s being escorted here.”
            “Any idea what happened?” Anakin says. He’s waiting by Ahsoka, whether because he already knows approaching is a bad idea or because he got the gist from the way the medics haven’t gotten closer is anyone’s guess.
            “Have to keep them safe.” Master Vos mutters and Obi-Wan’s face tightens, though his shields are still rock-solid.
            “Who Quin? Who do you need to keep safe?”
            But Master Vos never stopped talking, only just loud enough to be heard. He’s shivering too, voice breaking with groans. Whatever he was doing to walk on that leg – Ahsoka is very determinedly not looking at the swelling or the white that might be bone – he clearly can’t keep it up anymore. “Gotta keep them safe from the people and the senators and the Chancellor gotta do something useful with my unnatural powers what good are we if we can’t keep them safe apparently nothing I hoped I hoped I wasn’t gonna get my heart broken again I Obi they deserve better than this-”
            His words are cut off by the sound of the door opening as Healer Eerin and a Padawan healer sweep into the room in unfamiliar robes and go instantly to the downed Jedi. Marrow scowls heavy as thunder at not being able to treat a patient on his ship as they do, Healer Eerin passing something to Obi-Wan as she takes his place by Master Vos’ head. Obi-Wan squeezes his hand and stands, moving in line with the troopers around them so that he can slide the chip into the device and examine whatever Master Vos was so desperate to bring him.
            “Pop quiz Padawan Lele. Why do we use special gear for Master Vos?”
            Padawan Lele didn’t stop what they were doing as they replied: “Because his psychometry is super strong and the pain has seriously damaged his shields. Without the robes or equally strong shields he’ll feel too much of our minds and memories as well. This could delay his healing or damage his mind.”
            Marrow goes stiff and Ahsoka thinks that’s the first time she’s seen him look sheepish.
            For a few minutes, the room is a quiet tension, little sound aside from the Healers working or Master Vos’ delirious mumbling, fading in and out of hearing. Cody’s giving him the same worried look Ahsoka is, Master Vos sounds like his heart is as broken as his leg and she knows enough about how people work to think that the amount of self-deprecation she can hear isn’t a new thing.
            The rage, when it comes, is sudden as a lightning bolt and just as sharp. It’s gone just as quickly too – almost before Ahsoka and the other Padawan finish whipping around to stare at Obi-Wan who looks perfectly calm. Cody’s looking at him too, narrow-eyed in suspicion.
“Excuse me.” He says, still perfectly calm, and Ahsoka thinks of the weight of a sky prepared to burst and wonders if she should follow him, but the door is closed before she can decide.
“Been a while since I saw Obi-Wan get that angry.” Healer Eerin remarks.
“Huh?” Several of the troopers say. Anakin does too and the day has not been nearly overwhelming enough for Ahsoka not to role her eyes at how her oblivious master can lift a tank but not read anger when it’s shoved in his face.
“A little after Anakin first came to the Temple one of the teachers decided he was a poor fit for the Order and was trying to sabotage his work along with bullying him in class. Obi-Wan found out, asked Quin to watch Anakin for an evening, and went after the teacher. The man landed in the Halls of Healing with several broken bones and left as soon as he was cleared to move left for the furthest jedi outpost he could find. If he ever taught again I will be very surprised. Commander he’s safe to move but it would help if we had a clear path to the door.”
“You’re gonna catch flies Skyguy.” Ahsoka says faintly as Cody taps his comm to pass on the message. When he’s finished they all hear the trooper on the other end say, “By the way sir General Kenobi just left for Coruscant’s surface, said he had some business to attend to at the Senate.”
Cody nods, wearing the expression of concern and exasperation he gets whenever anyone he feels remotely responsible for does something dangerous without explaining why. “Check and see if there’s a way to find out what they’re doing.” He orders Crys as the Healers begin to maneuver Master Vos through the door.
“It’s one of the sessions journalists are reporting live sir.” Crys answers, pulling up the feed without needing to be asked, and they all group together to watch it.
*
Obi-Wan is, to put it bluntly, really fucking pissed. The anger in him pools like water, building and building, and he wills himself to keep calm control as he strides through the Senate building. If he gets too angry to think, things will go wrong.
Quinlan came to him because the things that had already gone wrong were even worse than any of them had been allowed to see, and he couldn’t fix it himself. He came to Obi-Wan for help putting things right.
Obi-Wan will be damned thrice over if he fails that mission.
He’s already sent the information on the datachip to the Council (though he doesn’t know when they’ll be able to see it), to all of the Commanders he has the contact information for (he’s not sure which of them made those particular lines of contact so secure but he trusts Cody’s view of them), and Madame Nu. They can’t afford to let this stay between the two of them, they need the backup. He knows the Council cares, is struggling as much as he is under the weight of the war, and the Commanders deserve to know and can keep their secrets. He includes Madame Nu because he doubts anyone would expect it, and the few interactions he’d seen between her and her single squad of troopers made him certain she adores them.
Plus, she studies Sith Temples. She’s gotta be more dangerous than she looks.
He walks into the rotunda where the Senate are debating the (very reasonable he’s read this one) Clone Rights bill, sees Palpatine, and allows his rage to fuel his leap for the podium.
“Tell me,” He says, cool as can be, as he smashes Palpatine’s face into the stand and kicks Amedda away when the asshole tries to interfere, “what the fuck the jedi did to you that you want our children murdered in their cribs?”
Order 66. Kill all the jedi. All of them.
“Who the fuck gave you the right to have an army bred and implant them all with control chips so that they couldn’t disobey, couldn’t be allowed to even think?”
Control chips that would wipe out the troopers’ minds, take away every thought and feeling and every piece of self that they’d fought to keep, chips that would turn the troopers his friends into the flesh droids senators liked to claim they were.
Palpatine snarled and shot off lightning. Obi-Wan deflected it and continued to ignore the screaming as he mused that perhaps Palpatine had decided there was no point in hiding when Obi-Wan was broadcasting these secrets to the Senate. Then he punched Palpatine below his sternum and then his ribs.
Ah, red lightsaber. There it is. He ducked and broke Palpatine’s arm.
“And while we’re at it, who the fuck allowed you to use those chips to control the Coruscant Guard and make them do your dirty work? Or withhold rations and bacta?”
It’s entirely possible he shouldn’t have included the information about the blackout missions and the extent of Palpatine’s control over the clones. That might have been the kind of thing they’d want to share themselves. Unless they couldn’t say anything?
“Even for the Sith you’re an exceptionally twisted shitstain.” He ducks the other lightsaber and wonders why this asshole had to learn to fight with two.
“You forced my family at blaster point to lead a war you orchestrate from both sides, forced our friends into slavery and now you want to take away everything our friends are when you use them to kill us and frankly Palpatine, I think the fuck not!”
The red lightsaber screams in his hand as he slices Palpatine’s head clean off.
*
Obi-Wan frowns as he takes in the scene. Huh, Amedda’s still here and oh that’s Master Windu and Master Yoda in the audience. He supposes some Jedi witnesses are a good idea. He grabs Amedda by the front of his robes and uses the Force to help him hold the heavy asshole over the edge of the podium with one hand, just to make sure he gets the point.
“Now you may have gathered that I’m very concerned about the clone troopers’ lack of rights. What about you?”
It turns out that Amedda is also very concerned about the clone troopers’ lack of rights. Good. “Full Republic citizenship and Senate representation that they elect instead of someone who make money off their bodies would be good too.” Obi-Wan adds, looking the Senator from Kamino dead in the eye. He’s pretty sure she’s calculating the distance between him and her pod when she nods.
If Obi-Wan had known all it would take to get his friends their rights was the public murder of one of his least favorite people, he’d have done that at the beginning of this thrice-damned war. The bill is passed very quickly and unanimously, and a couple Senators add a bit about backpay they’d had in the works as well and make some noise about allowing the clones to settle a moon or planet once they have the time to look the uninhabited ones over. That gets less enthusiasm but it’s not being shouted down and they can work with that, so Obi-Wan grins with all his teeth on display and says “I’m glad I only had to kill one politician today.”
The fear that ripples through the Force is unmistakable.
He puts Amedda down and heads to the Senate floor where the Coruscant Guard are waiting. Their shields aren’t bad but there’s awe shinning through them like sunshine in the dessert, bright and warm and painful with the twisting of old griefs and pains and shocked relief, and Obi-Wan says “I assume I’m going to be arrested?”
One of the men, who wears the rank of a Commander, takes of his helmet and asks, “Permission to speak freely sir?”
“Granted, forever and always.”
The man beams, and answers; “Then with all due respect sir, there is no way we’re going to arrest you.”
“Are you sure? I did just beat the Chancellor of the Republic to death.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely. Everyone on the Guard wants him dead within their first week here.”
“Thorn put your helmet back on, we’re not safe unless that law’s enforced.” Someone snaps and a different Commander approaches, leading Master Windu and Master Yoda. His shields are beskar-strong, but judging by his voice Obi-Wan would bet he’s glaring at Thorn.
“I’m feeling a bit spiteful.” Thorn grins and Fox gives that familiar huff that usually means the trooper in question is rolling their eyes underneath their helmet.
“Don’t look at us like that we’re not locking you up either.” Mace says dryly when Obi-Wan looks at him. “I will however, make sure your Padawan gets mindhealing sessions if I have to drag him there kicking and screaming myself. He’s overdue anyway.”
Obi-Wan winces but agrees. Quin hadn’t found solid proof of Palpatine grooming Anakin to be his Sith apprentice, but the information he had found made him suspicious. And once he read that, Obi-Wan can see a lot of things that support it.
Windu pulls him into a hug, startling Obi-Wan. The other Master doesn’t often want a lot of physical contact, and for him to initiate hugs is unusual. He sinks into it.
“Do you know how Quinlan is? Bant had to take him to the Halls.”
Windu shook his head. “I’ll ask.”
“To the Temple we will go after, inform everyone, and let you see your friend.” Yoda adds.
“Vos?”
Obi-Wan blinks at the stern commander. His shields are still thick but every single one of the other Guards are radiating concern and Obi-Wan wonders if Quinlan started this investigation because it was the Guard he wanted to protect.
“He found the information on Palpatine and brought it to me. He was seriously injured and delirious when I left him with the Healers.” The Commander twitches, just barely visible, and Obi-Wan asks, “I’m sorry, I don’t know your name?”
“Commander Fox.”
“Vos looked out for us.” Commander Thorn adds when it’s clear Fox isn’t going to continue. “He did his best to keep civilians off our backs, brought us bacta, snacks, and sweets when he could, tried to make us laugh. He’s our jedi even if it wasn’t official. But we haven’t seen him in weeks.”
Obi-Wan nods in understanding, then turns as Mace looks up.
“He’s in a coma. I can tell you more on the way, I trust the Guard but I don’t want to say this in the open.”
“I’m coming.” Commander Fox states and Commander Thorn nods.
“And perhaps a couple of the men. So we know how he’s doing?”
“I was going to ask one of you if you wanted to come. One would probably be best for now, I don’t know if the Healers are allowing visitors.”
“Just Fox then. I’ll watch out for our vode.” Thorn knocks his forehead gently against Fox’s, murmurs something none of them can hear, and leads the rest of the Guards away. The Jedi and single Commander push through the crowds and pile into a transport.
“Details Mace.”
It’s a sign of how serious it is that Mace doesn’t respond to the tone with a raised brow or eyeroll. “The gangrene is too serious; they have to amputate his leg at the knee. They aren’t sure how far he fell to break it that badly, but they know it’s been untreated for days. Best guess is he was running from someone and couldn’t find a place or the time to take care of it. He’s got some bruising and infected cuts on top of that which makes things worse, but they’re pretty sure they can deal with those. However. He’s not responding well to the healing. It’s not physical, it’s something mental. They aren’t sure what happened.”
Obi-Wan takes a deep breath and exhales shakily. Mace grips his shoulder till he stops quivering and asks slowly, “Do you have any idea what exactly happened the past few days?”
“He was almost completely out of it when he got to me.” Obi-Wan murmurs. “He, he said a lot of bad things about himself and a few things that reminded me about how some people talk about the Force. You know, when people call us or our skills unnatural. He wanted to protect someone, I’m not sure if it was the Jedi or the Coruscant Guard or someone else.”
The rest of the ride is quiet and tense.
*
Cody meets his general and general Windu at the hanger and finds himself, once again, relieved he’s wearing his armor. He’s not sure he’d survive his general finding out about the highly inappropriate reaction he had to the sight of his General beating up the Chancellor of the Republic on behalf of the troopers. His only consolation is the fact that he’s absolutely sure all the vode that aren’t asexual had the same reaction.
He is surprised to see Fox there, he hasn’t spoken to him in too long, and when he had Fox had been exhausted and tense. He’s been getting worried. He falls into step beside Fox as Obi-Wan updates him on the situation and waits till there’s no one near their group and murmurs, “You can take off the helmet if you want Fox. I promise they’re safe.”
Fox pauses, then yanks off his helmet almost violently. There’s more grey in his hair than there was last time, and a pair of scabbed-over cuts on his cheekbone. He looks like he was tired to the bone last week and hadn’t gotten any sleep this week.
“Fox-”
“Shut up.” Fox snaps, almost quiet enough to be missed by the generals, and Cody hesitates but thinks of Fox coming here to check on a severely injured jedi and decides to wait.
The Healer tells them that they can see Vos, but that they must be quiet and keep calm. The handful of Cody’s men that followed him wait so it’s Cody, Fox, Obi-Wan, and Windu that follow the healer into the room, Cody to offer moral support to his general as needed.
“Commander!” The healer yelps in alarm as Fox pushes past her, stripping off his glove and reach for the General’s limp hand, and Cody thinks of Obi-Wan using a rare order to keep Marrow at a distance and wonders what the hell Fox is thinking before Vos twitches, bare fingers curving towards where Fox has his fingers laid gently on his palm.
The healer scowled and examined the machines Vos was hooked up to. “The rest of you, no touching. Keep calm. You,” she pointed at Fox, who ignores her, heartbreak plain as day on his face “don’t move.”
Cody stays near the door, watching. Obi-Wan’s eyes have flicked towards Fox a couple times, but mostly he’s focused on General Vos. Windu is the opposite. The healer finishes examining the machines and holds her hand above Vos’ forehead, before making quiet excuses and leaving.
She comes back with Healer Eerin who preforms the same examination. “Anything wrong?” Obi-Wan asks.
“I don’t think so but I’m staying for the next 20 minutes to watch.”
It’s twenty minutes later that Healer Eerin kicks all of them out to eat except for Fox, who she brings a chair for. “I don’t know why, but your presence if helping him heal. I’m sure you have things to do but if it’s possible for you to stay a little-”
“I’m not leaving him.” Fow states, and Cody thinks of General Vos’s words on the bridge and heartbreak that hasn’t left his face and thinks oh.
They leave the door open when they go just for a bit, and Cody can tell Obi-Wan had the same idea as him because there’s concern and something that could become anger on his face. General Windu’s as inscrutable as always but Cody’s heard enough from Ponds to know the man takes threats to the jedi seriously. He shushes his troopers outside and waits.
“I’m sorry.”
It’s enough time that Cody had wondered if Fox was gonna stay silent and the shaking in his voice alarms him almost as much as the words. “I didn’t mean it I promise Quinlan. It was just a bad day and I snapped I’m sorry. You force-damned idiot it must have been days to find that and get so injured you know the Guard would’ve done anything they could for you even if I was being an asshole, you think Thorn didn’t smack me around the head when I told him? You’re our jedi Quinlan and we need you to wake up, I need you to wake up I can’t apologize properly if you’re sleeping, please, the Guard’s lost too many people please don’t let us loose our crazy jedi too.”
Fox is crying by the end of that, shaky sobs that scratch his throat, and Cody hits the panel to shut the door and turns to the two jedi.
“Well that answers that question.” Windo states. “I think the Commander will be there a while.”
“If it helps Quinlan heal I can’t speak against it.” Obi-Wan muttered. He slumps into a chair, exhausted. “It’s been a day. Who wants to eat?”
“I do.” Cody says. “And then I want to head to the barracks and make Thorn tell me what’s been going on with Fox, because I feel like I’m missing something important.”
*
Things get better after that, some slowly, some quickly. The Separatists decide it’s in their best interests to surrender to General Kenobi, and the war wraps up quickly with some planets staying separate and many arrests in the leadership (interestingly, a lot of crime groups that deal with jedi more than they would like to also decide to go clean after that footage. Who’d’ve thought?). The troopers learn about their new home with glee and throw themselves into learning how to be things other than soldiers with a mix of joy and apprehension. It takes time for the Coruscant Guard to be fully comfortable with their other brothers, but it’s something that the rest of the troopers work on furiously when they learn how hellish Coruscant had been for them. Anakin gets so much therapy (as do many other people) and the Jedi use time they have now that the war’s over to start distancing themselves a bit from the Senate, trying to ensure that they can’t be forced to lead an army again.
Fox is there when Quinlan wakes up, asleep and holding Quinlan’s hand and there are tears and apologies and promises. The Guard cheers when they get their general back because they love their crazy jedi as much as the other battalions. And the clones and jedi start to heal together.
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nut4shuri · 2 years
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DATING LETITIA WRIGHT🤍
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HOW YOU MET
You are a well known Fasion Designer,and good friend of Ryan Coogler.(the director of wakanda forever)
He introduced you two together at the premiere of Black Panther.
And Talked about how Letitia was a big fan of fashion and how she should see some of your lines and workings.
Letitia already knew who you where tho,she talked about how she was a big fan and loved your workings.
ALL NIGHT SHE STARED AT YOU,NEVER BROKE EYE CONTACT AND AT ONE POINT SHE WAS EVEN CHECKING YOU OUT!!
She's always trying to make you laugh(she did the whole night)
You two talked all night and you even filmed one of her photo shoots and met once again because you where the costume designer for the Wakanda Forever Movie. (Not ryan tryna be Cupid in this bitch.🤣)
Dates
She takes you out a lot but not nun of the regular boring dinner dates.
She does cheesy shit like take you out on picnics,Camping and even took you to Nanuoya one of her favorite places to visit.
During dates you get nothing but princess treatment the whole day.. And all night of course.
She does not mind spending a band on you,Because anything her princess wants she gets.
She loves to pamper you with gifts and attention.
She knows you love the simple things so each time shes get she turns on the hot tub, brings out the roses and snacks and puts on a movie.
She loves taking you out of the city,and all over the world.
Getting yall nails done together is something yall do often.
She knows you love reading so she takes you on "library dates" often.
She loves peace and quiet so every now and then yall leave yall lives behind and fly out to different places.
Theater Dates All The Time.
She loves taking you cute photos while out on dates.
She buys you flowers all the time.
Shopping together is always a Promise.
Freaky Deakyy
As sweet and innocent as she looks,she's a freaky ass girl.
She never fails to make a freaky joke,no matter the conversation.
During interviews with you two she demands you to sit on her lap.
She loves making you cum in public,no matter the time or place.
She's definitely a Dom/Top but she does not mind you taking over every know and then but she knows you wont last long being a Top but she just lets you have fun.
She loves smacking your ass,she never misses out on an opportunity to smack that mf. Even in public.
She's a big EATER,and she swallows she loves to eat you out 24/7 and would do it for hours if you let her.
She loves to sit and watch you masturbate its very entertaning to her.
She also likes to buy lots of toys to use on you and one of her favorite things to do is handcuff you and eat you out.
She straps you down every day.
She hits it from the side,the back,the front,360,60 degree angle,34+35 ways..yall know.
And as little as she is shes strong as hell. She loves to pick you up and eat you out and strap you down against the wall.
Her favorite postiing is doggystyle cause she likes to pull your hair.
She keeps a pole in the middle of yall bed room..for personal reasons.
And in Oya,Balcony Sex Is Always a Thing.
Watching you work
Theres not a day where she dosent love to watch you work.
She loves how passionate you are about fashion and all of your dreams.
She loves your hard work and dedication and never lets you forget.
And when you doubt yourself she does not take a second to pull you over her legs and give you some repercussion.😏
She's very supportive of your dreams and always their for you even when she can't be.
When she's away on big days she calls every minute,every second of that day.
She helps around your warehouse and gives new ideas.
Shes always sad when she has to leave you but loves to watch you go.
She loves watching you model your outfits especially the bathing suit line.
Shes always talking about yall future and trying to better it.
Shes always lookin for better ways to communicate with you.
She tries to avoid making you angry or just not giving you your personal space.
(Because even though yall together its fundamental that yall give each other space from time to time.)
If yall get into an argument you both admit your wrongs and work it out.
She talks about yall future wedding a lot.
She talks about having kids and a dog,etc.
She knows you would be a part of her future weather yall are together or not.
so i tried..
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gnreadergames · 3 months
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Weird Science
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Egon Spengler x Named FTM!Male Oc
Content warnings: Some sexual tension leading into non-graphic sexual content, mostly sickeningly sweet shit, Egon’s a lil crazy, Alex likes em cooky, doctor kink?? Is that a thing? Idk, either way a PHD title is used in a way no one should use a PHD title. Unless they are freaks like me :3
A/N: Crawling out of my hole I’ve been in for *checks watch* like almost a year to bring you this. I have no excuses guys I just rewatched my favorite movie and wanted to fuck the science man again. Super self indulgent, also for my trans readers because I’ve noticed a lot of yall thirsting after this man are trans. Congratulations my niche little subjects, here’s some food.
Word count: 13,971. - Yes you read that right. I just really wanted to write some gooey porn about the science man okay?
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
Egon Spengler sat alone in the firehouse, surrounded by the various specimen he had collected from a bust and the various machines created to catch and contain ghosts. He had just finished running diagnostics on the Proton Packs, fixing a bug that Peter had showed him on his, and was in the process of cataloging and tagging some new samples he had collected on their last bust of a succubus in a hotel.
Alex was quiet about accessing the stairs. The door to the bottom always squeaked but he made sure to pull it open extra slowly this time, and somehow successfully managed to make it all the way up to the top of the 2nd floor completely silently. Egon was perched at the main table in the kitchen up top. Its circular surface was covered with bagged petri-dishes, spore samples, and various robotic gadgets he guessed were for ghost hunting. He deftly approached from behind.
Egon’s head was down, nose intently tucked into whatever journal he was writing in now as Alex tiptoed up behind him and every so suddenly crouched down beside him to ear level and said, in a level inside voice, ‘Whatcha’ up to Spengs’?”.
Egon startled. It was Alex. It was rare for anyone to just come up behind him at the firehouse, but given recent events, he wasn't really surprised. He put down his pen, looking to get a better look at Alex.
"Hm? Oh, just going over the findings from our last bust. And the latest samples. It's all pretty...standard stuff, really. Nothing worth getting excited about."
“Yeah? Thought molds spores and fungi were your type of fun, guy-“ Alex laughed a little at his own joke, hand brushing the back of the chair and inadvertently brushing ever so briefly against Egon’s bare neck. Alex blushed slightly and hoped Egon was too focused to have noticed as he took a seat next to him.
Egon glanced up from his notes. Despite Alex making his presence very obvious, Egon had been so engrossed in his work that he barely noticed. Now, he was caught, and clearly flustered.
"Right. It's not that this sort of stuff isn't interesting. It's just..." He paused, trying to come up with the right words. "It's less exciting than seeing ghosts, you know? There's much less danger to it."
Alex cocked his head, curious. ”So is that why you do it?” He asked.
He thought for a moment, considering how to answer this question.
"In a sense, I suppose. There is always the hope that when I'm out investigating, I might encounter something truly new. Something unexpected and unpredictable. Something that could turn the whole study of ghosts on its head. And believe me, it's been a long time since we've had a true breakthrough in ghost related research."
“Is it the danger or is it the superiority? The control?” Alex blurted out without really thinking. When he realized what he said and how odd of a question it was “I just mean…” he stammered, “Do you think you like the danger, or do you like being in control? Do you like feeling powerful over the ghosts? Do you like the chase and the win? Kinda like a game…” Alex mumbled off, blushing. He felt like he only further incriminated himself into his line of thinking.
Egon laughed quietly. Clearly he wasn't offended by the question, even if it was a rather strange one. He was also more than a little intrigued.
"There is certainly an element of control, I must admit. I do like to think that I know what I'm doing out there." He paused, still smiling. "But at the same time, I'm also just as much at the mercy of the ghosts. There's always a certain...risk that I think I enjoy."
“Hm. You work in interesting ways ‘Spengs…” Alex hummed thoughtfully. His posture became a little more relaxed as he rested forward, chin on his elbow watching Egon tag samples and hum along to a janky radio he had sitting on an adjacent counter of the kitchen.
"Doctor Spengler, if you don't mind," Egon corrected, his tone only half-joking.
He glanced back down at his notes, making a few more small adjustments before finally setting the pen down.
"So you just...came over here to bother me while I work?"
“Mostly. It is my favorite pastime as you know.” Alex smirked, almost cat-like. Egon rolled his eyes, he knew the gentle teasing Alex put him through.
“Also, Doctor Spengler? What am I, one of your patients? Or do you just get a kick out of making people call you that?” Alex teased again, this time dropping his voice a little in a lusty tone that made him laugh trying to get it out in one piece.
Egon smirked, rolling his eyes in return. Alex's teasing was one of the things he actually did kind of enjoy.
”The latter, if I'm being perfectly honest. Not that I'll ever admit it."
He crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.
"But you have to admit, Doctor is a much nicer title than Mr. Or even Professor. That title's always been a little too pretentious for its own good," he continued to banter.
I like Mr. in…” Alex paused, looking pensively upwards, “certain contexts. Like if you were to get married. Mr. And Mrs. Or er, Mr. And Mr…” Alex said casually. He hadn’t formally come out to Egon but he knew Venkman’s little vermin hands had background checked him enough to know his dating preferences already and his gender. And to be fully honest, he liked Egon more than anybody else here, even if he’d only admit it under extreme duress, or maybe too much alcohol.
So he deserved to know.
Or maybe Alex was a little desperate to share practically anything about himself in hopes of getting closer to the other man.
Egon's eyebrow raised slightly, hearing this. Alex hadn't come out to him directly, but this felt pretty obvious. It wasn't an issue to Egon anyway, but he was curious to know now.
"Alex...are you telling me you're interested in...men?"
He cleared his throat, his tone a bit nervous. He wasn't sure how to react.
“Oh-“ Alex hadn’t expected Egon to ask him so directly. But then again, he never was one for taking hints. “Yeah, I am.”
His face was redder than usual and it was obvious Egon’s bluntness had caught him slightly off guard and flustered him.
“I hope that isn’t a problem with you. I really like…spending time with you Egon.” Alex said. He wanted to leave it vague, for now at least. He didn’t even know if Egon was into men, let alone if Egon considered him a friend let alone a potential romantic interest. He didn’t want to jump the guns too fast here.
Egon looked at him, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.
"Alex...I have no problem with it. I'm very happy to spend time with you as well. I just...wasn't expecting you to say that."
For a moment, he seemed like he was going to say something more. But he held back, thinking better of it, clearly not sure what to actually say right now.
"Just didn't have you pegged as one who...preferred men's company."
“Oh really?” Alex laughed, he could lighten the mood up a bit hopefully. “What did you have me pegged for then, ‘Spengs?” he asked, leaning forward on his elbows curiously.
Egon laughed quietly as well.
"Well, you seem like you'd have an eye for the ladies." He grinned, still in an obviously good-natured way. "If you're into guys, then you're not exactly...what I would call 'typically gay' looking."
“Well…thanks?” Alex laughed. “I’m into women too, so I guess I would be in the middle of whatever spectrum you’re thinking of.”
He crumpled up a loose straw wrapper from Egon’s ginger ale and started to flick it back and forth between his fingers, nervously.
Egon nodded. He didn't seem all that surprised by this; if anything he had always got the sense that Alex was at least a little bit bi-curious, given some of the conversations they'd had.
"Right. The ol' 'bisexual' thing." He joked.
Suddenly he looked at Alex again, with an expression of sudden realization.
"Wait. Wait a minute. Are you...are you saying..."
His eyes widened slightly.
“What? Not so blunt now Egon?” Alex questioned.
“Are you...hitting on me?”
Egon looked at him, and this time his tone seemed to be one of genuine curiosity, mixed with amusement.
“Who said anything about hitting on you? Just thought you should know.” Alex was very clearly red around the apples of his cheeks and ears. He was at least embarrassed, if not caught.
Egon felt something warm and vulnerable flutter underneath one of his ribs. He swallowed.
Alex was stubborn and obviously determined not to be caught this fast in this little game they had been playing, the roughly 3 weeks of back and forth bantering, the casual drink after work when everyone else had already left, and of course, decidedly ignoring whatever happened after the attack on New York when he saw Egon exit the building safely, if not covered in goo.
Even though he, and he’s pretty sure Egon too, both remember it, neither of them have brought it up in a serious manner.
Egon laughed quietly, shaking his head. He was surprised sure, but he certainly wasn't upset. If anything, the opposite.
They were alone together, no one to hear or see anything. No one to interrupt them. Egon took a deep breath.
"Okay. I'll be honest," he said, looking Alex directly in the eye. "If you were trying to get me to figure out you're interested in me, then that definitely did the trick."
Alex smiled. It was different from his usually sly cat-like grin. This time, it was a softer, less slick looking smile with some genuine warmth behind it.
“And why would somebody as astute as the doctor Egon Spengler care about such a thing?” Alex asked, feigning being coy.
Egon had to laugh at that, shaking his head. Alex was a lot of things, but one thing he most certainly was not was subtle.
"I care because..." he paused, his smile becoming a bit broader. Despite their teasing back and forth, he was suddenly being completely genuine.
"Actually, this is probably pretty obvious, but..." He let the rest go unsaid for a moment. He didn't know what he wanted to come next. If he actually wanted to stay casual, or if he wanted more.
Alex swallowed audibly with how quiet the room had gotten suddenly.
“Egon….do you….like me?” Alex asked softly. He felt like he was dreaming, like he would wake up at any moment and this would all have been some fevered imagination of a sickly brain, a brain obsessed with this gorgeous brainiac.
Egon's face was a shade of pink now...a very noticeable pink. He shifted in his seat, clearly a bit flustered.
"I..." he said quietly. "...yes." He raised his hands up slightly, as if trying to steady himself.
"I mean...if you're okay with what that means and all that...is it...alright if I'm honest with you?"
“Please” Alex begged, voice wavering. He wanted this so much he didn’t know how to ask with words. He had practiced this scenario a thousand times over in his head as he tried to fall asleep night after night and still, he didn’t know how to respond to this. “Be honest.”
Egon swallowed, trying to gather his thoughts and his breath.
"Okay...well...I...I don't think I could have made it through the last few months without you." His words came out in spurts, each sentence broken up by pauses as he lost himself in his thoughts.
"There's always been something about you. Something I've found...really irresistible. Your mind, your energy...your...your...ahem...your...um...your...looks" He smirked softly as he finished that last sentence.
Alex flushed bright red.
Up until 10 minutes ago he had doubts the doctor even had the capabilities to be attracted to anybody, much less a man, and to hear that he had potentially been being discreetly checked out around the office made a slight sweat break out under his collared shirt and tie.
Not that he hadn’t been doing the same thing to Egon a few times when he worked… who can blame him? He flushed even harder thinking about one specific time and broke eye contact, embarrassed.
Egon couldn't help but chuckle at this. He could tell that he'd caught a very sensitive nerve. A grin spread across his face as he shook his head, still laughing a bit.
"God you're cute when you get like this," Egon said, almost teasingly.
His tone became more serious again, as he leaned forward a bit closer towards Alex.
"Can I ask you something?"
“Y-“ Alex had to swallow, mouth suddenly becoming dry as Egon leaned ever closer. “Yeah.” His eyes couldn’t look anywhere by Egon now, and he was sure his face was visibly red by now if it wasn’t before.
Egon took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say.
"Before, you said you hadn't formally told me...about...your preferences. Was there a specific reason for this? Because I'd like to know if..."
He stopped there, looking into Alex's warm brown eyes. He took another deep breath.
"Was it because you weren't sure about my preferences?"
Alex caught a nervous laugh. He didn’t want Egon to think he was laughing at him, he was just so relieved they might possibly be on the same page and that this wasn’t another time Alex would be head over heels for another guy that would leave him the first chance he got a hotter woman to look at him.
“Yeah…I was just… curious is all.” Alex looked down at the floor, nervous and a bit embarrassed to be that easy to read. “Took you long enough…I think the others were starting to think I was just weird.”
Egon smirked, letting out an amused sigh.
"Well, they're not necessarily...wrong about that." He said, teasingly as always. But it was clear that he didn't mean it in an offensive way.
When Alex said he was curious, Egon understood. He had always wondered why Alex had never talked much about personal subjects like that. He was starting to see why now.
"Right. Well, I think it's my turn to be honest, yeah?"
“I think it is, doctor.” Alex teased back. Now that he knew Egon liked using that little word he was going to be sure to make it difficult. Especially if this conversation was going the way he thought it was.
Egon grinned, playing along for now.
"Okay. My turn to be honest, then."
He looked at Alex, his expression more serious again.
"I'm still confused on one thing, though. Can I ask you a personal question?"
”Go ahead” Alex said. He supposed he could be honest about it all now since he’d been pretty much found out.
Egon breathed. "Alright. I can't help but notice that after every time we have a bust, something happens between us...how do I say this? More than before. Have you ever...noticed that too?”
Egon paused to take a deep breath, still holding his eye contact. This was the moment of truth. He'd known that for some time now, the two of them were beginning to develop feelings for each other. But he'd held back, not wanting to push it too fast. But now he couldn't hold back anymore. He needed to know if Alex had noticed too.
”I’ve…” Alex had to choose his words carefully. “I’ve noticed it too. When I started working here last year…” Alex shifted nervously and then suddenly became more serious, sitting up and placing his hands on the table. “When I started working here last year I didn’t think much about it. It was supposed to just be a stepping stone to bigger things, being the Ghostbusters official PR manager is nothing to sneeze at and I thought if I just hung out here long enough I could get a job somewhere on Wall Street, bigger things, better pay…” Alex swallowed. “But then I started to like hanging out with you guys. And then we became friends, and suddenly it became a lot harder to see it as just a job. And then after…well to be honest right before the New York attack, that night you walked me home after we were the last two here, I think I sort of thought about you differently than the rest of them.”
Alex didn’t know how to explain it, it was difficult putting it into words. “I think I realized I cared about you more. In a different way I mean. Sure I’m friends with Venkmen and Stanz and Zeddemore, but I didn’t see you like I saw them. I wanted to get to know you more, I knew it when I said goodnight to you and it was snowing on my doorstep. And you smiled at me. I think I knew then. And then of course right after that big attack happened and I thought for sure you were dead, we had no clue how anything was going to play out and I just remembered feeling like I could die of happiness seeing you walk out of that building, and…I guess before I knew it I was already moving to you. I don’t really know why I hugged you, I was just…glad you were okay. I was glad I hadn’t missed my chance with you, I guess. I hadn’t realized how special you were to me.”
Egon's eyes were locked on Alex's every breath, every word. It was like he was seeing him in an entirely different light right now. They'd flirted and teased back and forth before, but everything here sounded so much more genuine and sincere. Like they weren't even playing a game anymore, they were being very real with each other. It was a beautiful thing.
Egon swallowed, his heart pounding inside his chest. He felt like...like this was it.
"Can I be honest with you about something, too?"
“Anything.” Alex breathed. He felt like he was going to explode admitting all of that.
Egon swallowed, his heart pounding even faster. Just like Alex he was ready to explode. But he had to get this off his chest. Now that they'd started, he couldn't think of a reason to stop.
"I've never...I've never felt the way about anyone before the way that I feel about you. I didn't even realize it at first but I've been..." He couldn't believe he was saying all this. "...I've been thinking about you a lot. Too damn much of the time, actually."
Alex smiled, giddy and carefree. He felt a little dizzy with nerves.
“Really?” He breathed, excitedly. “I’m so glad. I can’t stop thinking about you, I felt like I was going crazy. I think even Venkman picked up on it this past month when you went on that blind date Stanz set you up on.”
Egon chuckled, a wide grin on his face.
"Yeah...can't say it was a successful date."
He thought back to the disaster of a date he'd been set up with a few weeks ago. It was pretty damn clear to even Venkman. So maybe they were a little more transparent than they should have been with their feelings of late towards their friend’s attempts to set them up with other people.
"I feel stupid for letting it take this long to acknowledge any of this."
“Maybe we’re both stupid.” Alex thought, dumbly. But he couldn’t let anything dampen his mood right now. He felt like he was floating, almost drunk with happiness.
“So Mr. Scientist,” he said, balancing his chin on his hand and reaching an index finger to fiddle around with the lid of an empty Petri dish in front of him, “tell me about what you think about me. What’s been on that big brain of yours?” He purred.
Egon felt his heart skip a beat when Alex started flirting with him. He wasn't used to it, but he really liked it. What he liked even more was the idea that someone as brilliant and attractive as Alex thought this way about him.
Egon chuckled, his lips curling up into a smirk. "You want me to be honest about what I think about you?"
“Honesty is the best policy” Alex nodded, intrigued.
"Yeah...yeah it definitely is." Egon leaned forward, his gaze even more intense than before.
"I think you're absolutely brilliant. Not just in terms of your science...but your mind itself. That sharp, witty mind of yours is such a...turn on." His smirk became a bit more mischievous as he spoke. "I love it when you try to outwit a person in conversation, when you get all riled up and competitive.... I love even more that I've never seen you lose."
“You have such a way with your stupid words.” Alex giggled. He was sure he was making a fool of himself but he couldn’t believe somebody like the Egon Spengler found him attractive. He could count on one hand the times he’d been this lucky in his entire life.
“You really know how to flatter a guy,” Alex admitted, tracing the rim of the Petri dish with the same finger absentmindedly.
Egon smiled, chuckling at that, but not denying the accuracy.
"I wasn't kidding when I said your mind turns me on."
He leaned in even closer, his gaze burning into Alex's. He looked at the way Alex was tracing the rim of his empty petri dish and had an idea.
"I have a suggestion..."
“Shoot.” Alex said, sharpening the ‘T’ sound, almost bitingly.
Egon swallowed, almost nervous looking. But he thought this would be the perfect way to test the waters, to see just how interested Alex really was before he took it a step further.
"Close your eyes..."
“Okay.” Alex said, cautiously but trusting. He knew Egon wouldn’t hurt him and if anything, not knowing what was coming next and being completely at the will of the other man kind of made him feel safe. It was nice. It made his heart race a little.
He shut his eyes gently, waiting.
Egon smirked, enjoying the game he was playing. He stood up, and slowly started moving behind Alex, his movements very subtle and patient. When he got behind him, he took the same index finger that Alex had been tracing the edge of the Petri dish with and ran it softly, delicately over the back of Alex's neck, sliding it into his hair and slowly running it through.
Alex shivered at the touch.
Christ.
Okay.
He hadn’t been expecting this. Egon wasn’t a touchy person, not even in the throes of victory, so this was new, and honestly thrilling for Alex.
“Egon…” Alex practically purred, keening towards the touch. He liked it. He liked it a lot.
Egon smiled, pleased with the way Alex reacted to it. He decided to go a step further, and slowly, still using only his one index finger, started stroking Alex's hair down his neck, and eventually down his shoulders as he continued to trace a line down Alex's back.
Alex shivered and twitched with every vertebrae that Egon ran his finger past.
“This another one of your experiments, doctor?” Alex teased with a voice lower and slower than normal, but this time the air was thicker with something unspoken and unseen. But it could be very, very felt. Distantly, Alex was glad everyone else had taken this Saturday off.
Egon smirked. He loved that he was making Alex squirm, that he was clearly enjoying this so much. Alex's lower and slower voice made his chest tremble with a mix of emotion. A mix of excitement and fear. He was enjoying this, this flirtatious back and forth, but now he was feeling more daring…
"No experiment...this is something...much more personal."
“And what exactly are you testing here?” Alex asked. He still hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but now he thought he couldn’t bear not being able to see Egon for a second longer. He opened his eyes, and titled his head slightly back and was met with an angled view of his affections.
His heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t expecting Egon to look anything less than well…perfect. But this was new. Egon’s once soft brown eyes looked almost black with how dilated his pupils were, and his olive completion was a richer red tone around his face and ears. He may be more cognitively in control of the situation, but it was good to see that he was just as affected by Alex as he was by Egon.
Egon smirked and stepped even closer, their mouths finally just inches away from one another. He watched as the corners of Alex's lips quivered ever so slightly, and he couldn't help but feel a wave of joy sweep over him.
"My test..." Egon's voice was lower, and more seductive than ever. "...is to see exactly how far I can push it before you can't take it anymore."
As he spoke, he leaned just a tiny bit closer. Their lips were almost touching…
“Egon,” Alex’s voice was barely a whisper but it somehow only came out as a strung out whimper. He titled his head back ever so slightly more and he felt Egon’s breath hot on his lips.
Alex would beg for mercy if he had to. He just wanted Egon. He was so happy he could cry. His entire body felt like it was vibrating with how wired and nervous he was.
Egon knew at this point he couldn't hold back anymore. It was obvious he was just as nervous as Alex was. And in this intense moment, he needed to let him know that. His hands fell to Alex's shoulders and he pulled him even closer, so their chests were pressing sharply up against one another.
Egon's voice was lower than the lowest, as he began to whisper right back.
"God do you know how badly I want you, right now? What I would do to you if I could right this second?"
Alex’s head spun. Who was this? His Egon was quiet and professional, but he couldn’t deny that he hadn’t thought of this side of Egon, better said, dreamed of Egon having a side like this. He knew Egon was a man of control, and rules, but he also knew Egon, like every man, had buttons.
And buttons, could be pressed.
“We’re alone for the day.” Alex reminded. Egon was so close their foreheads were pressed together. Eyes locked.
Egon froze at that, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. He felt Alex's body pressed up against him, his heart pounding in his ears. His lips were mere centimeters apart, now. And he was suddenly hit with a wave of...nerve? Fear? Excitement?
Finally, Egon's mind won the war within.
"God damn it, it's taking every ounce of self control I have right now not to just start ripping you apart with my teeth..." he said, eyes darker than before.
Oh.
A little crazy.
Alex could work with a little crazy.
“Please-” let it never be said that Alex was above begging, because he wasn’t. Especially not for Egon. He would beg for Egon to call him worthless and pathetic. He would beg for Egon to spit on him. Egon being nice to him? Practically as strong as cocaine straight to the brain.
Alex leaned forward and clumsily brushed his lips against Egon’s for a mere second before pulling back, mouth slightly open, eyes lidded. He wanted Egon to want this as much as him. He wanted Egon to want him.
Egon stared into Alex's eyes, his heart racing a thousand miles a minute. Just seeing Alex's lips meet his, even for just one brief contact, sent a jolt of pure euphoria through his entire body. He'd never realized just how much he'd wanted this...how much he'd wanted Alex, until this very moment.
Finally, he did it. Before he had a chance to second guess his actions, Egon let his instincts take over. He leaned forward and pulled Alex back into him with one firm and quick motion. He then proceeded to take over this kiss…
Alex gasped into the kiss. He wasn’t expecting Egon to be this rough, but he guessed there was a certain aspect of desperation on both of their ends. Egon felt like he was devouring him. Alex’s knees felt like they were going to buckle, and he was lowering slowly, slowly, with pathetic little noises as Egon kissed the breath out of him.
He broke for a second, as Egon leaned over him, pushing his back into the chair, legs straddling it weakly. “Eg-“ he gasped as Egon went in for another kiss, just as hungry as the last. Alex broke away again, more determinedly “I’ve wanted this for so long. So, so, long…” his legs still weak, he leaned into Egon’s chest and arms, holding him.
Egon was in almost as much of a stupor as Alex, that little bit he'd tasted of him before had sent his heart soaring to new heights. His whole body felt alive, every single nerve. He couldn't believe how much he had wanted this, how badly he'd want to take it even further. But right now, was just the two of them, alone, the downstairs door locked.
As Alex spoke, Egon squeezed him harder by instinct alone. It was only making him yearn for much, much more…
“How long?” Alex asked between kisses. His right knee gave out and he felt Egon pull away. He made a weak noise of protest as Egon’s body pulled from his, until he realized he was being pulled with it and spun around. Suddenly, he found himself being picked up by the hips and sat gingerly and quickly onto the edge of the table, legs straddled and Egon standing in between. He kissed Alex again, tongue slipping into his mouth. He obviously didn’t seem content with the position though, too far, as he broke apart again soon after to grab Alex’s hips and yank him toward Egon’s standing ones, legs locking behind his back.
“Since when?” Alex asked again. “When did you know?” He felt drunk as Egon moved to kiss his jawline.
Egon smirked when he realized what Alex was actually asking him. To have someone this sharp, this witty being so...weak in your hands was an incredibly intoxicating experience. But the time to pick was over, now was all about play.
"God I don't know...it's been a while." Egon moved back in to capture Alex's mouth once again, holding onto his hips for dear life. "Since I started to want to see the sides of you that weren't professional, that weren't strictly business...I wanted to see exactly how human you could be."
“I’ve wanted you since that day in January. The one where we had the poltergeist in the-ah!” Alex winced as Egon moved to his neck and bit at a sensitive spot just under his ear, soft tender flesh. “S-since, that day- when- when you came back to the lab in your- your lab clothes all-” Alex’s left hand, the stronger of the two, came up to grasp at the dress shirt stretched over Egon’s back, “and th-they were all singed and dusty, and you were covered in- mmhp- sweat, and you didn’t even look at me when you-you” Egon kissed Alex to shut him up briefly, and for a moment there was nothing but the noise of soft, labored breathing and the creaking of the wooden table as they pressed against one another, but eventually Egon let him go in favor of biting at his neck again. “You- you didn’t even look at me, just rolled, rolled up your sleeves and went to work in your lab. All serious, brow furrowed, covered in grime but still wanting to get data while- ah- it’s fresh-“ Alex smiled remembering it. He still felt fuzzy and the memory was still fresh. “You’re incredibly toned for a scientist did- did you know that?” Alex asked in a breathy voice. “You have a great- great body.”
Egon huffed a laugh against his neck.
Egon couldn't help but feel his ego inflate and his cheek turn red from Alex's compliment. He'd never considered just how toned his body was, especially with his lack of exercise and all his nerdy, intellectual pursuits. As Alex rambled on, Egon couldn't help but get more turned on.
He smirked as he bit down on Alex's neck again and felt his lips twitch against it, as if Alex was moaning.
"I think you might be the first person in a while who's actually taken the time to notice..."
“How could I not?” Alex asked. Egon had momentarily paused his nipping and chewing to lift his head and look up at Alex. His big, dark eyes were even darker than usual and it was hard to see where his pupil and iris even separated.
He looked, almost animal with it.
Alex had never seen a not very methodically, almost scientifically, controlled side of Egon. This made some part of Alex’s hindbrain flicker with a warmth he had only felt on lonely nights he spent fantasizing with his own hand and brain.
Egon smirked and tilted his head up as he looked at Alex's face, that perfect, beautiful, wonderful face that had eluded him and teased him for so long. He just couldn't get enough. Every part of his body was tingling with pleasure and desire. He wanted nothing more than to take Alex right here and right now.
"You look beautiful." Egon said it sincerely, truly believing every word of it. But then he leaned up and whispered, his voice a mischievous and enticing husk. "I'm going to make you even more beautiful..."
Alex complied limply. Whatever Egon wanted. Alex felt himself slipping quietly under into that mindset he loved so much. He didn’t need control. He trusted Egon. Whatever he wanted. He knew best. He wanted to make him proud. He wanted to do whatever would make Egon happy.
Alex reached his neck desperately towards Egon and caught one last desperate kiss with a small sound before he finally gave in and let Egon do whatever he wished.
As he watched Alex willingly yield to him, Egon couldn't help but smirk. The look on his face was just as he pictured: submissive, trusting, almost worshiping. He couldn't wait to push the limits of this power and see just how desperate his new lab assistant and lover was.
So Egon did just that, pushing Alex's shirt up and kissing his collarbone, slowly making his way up to his neck again. He bit and nibbled at his collar bone, all while rubbing his hands along Alex's back and hips.
“Ah!” Alex gasped. He was particularly sensitive on his hips, and once Egon knew, he used it devilishly. His thumb ran a steady back and forth rhythm over a ridge in his V-line, making Alex shiver. Another hand curled possessively over Alex’s back and made him preen with a particularly fiery feeling in his chest. Alex continued making weak and steady noises as Egon worked over his collarbone, biting and kissing everywhere he could reach, hands moving to grasp the skin he couldn’t cover with his mouth.
The power and the control that he was asserting over Alex was making Egon feel like he was in some kind of haze, like he was just floating around in a sea of bliss, a euphoric dream that he didn't want to ever end.
The way Alex reacted to his touch made his own heart skip a beat, hearing him make those soft little sounds as he nibbled just so slightly harder on his neck and collarbone. It was pushing all his buttons, making him want so much more…
“Please-” Alex begged, not entirely sure what exactly he was begging for. Whatever Egon would give him. Whatever Egon thought he deserved. Alex’s hands, at one point limp around Egon’s waist, now were clenched tightly into his shirt and his hair, respectively, as Alex’s body curled into Egon’s.
Egon shivered again as he heard Alex beg him, heard him pleading for more.
This was exactly what he had been dreaming of. A completely submissive Alex, one who would let Egon take control completely, one who would gladly turn over every inch of his body to Egon for...for whatever Egon wanted.
It was such a turn on that Egon couldn't even form whole sentences, his thoughts were getting the best of him and his body was ready to take...no, to take control.
“Whatever you want.” Alex wanted more. Whatever Egon would give him. He laid flat on the table as Egon pulled away and surveyed him quickly, eyes flitting across his body as a whole, flushed, shirt pushed up, hands clutching feverishly at the flat table finding nothing to grab on to.
Egon smirked, loving the look of desperation on Alex's face, knowing that he was completely and utterly at his mercy now. And as Egon looked over him, his eyes trailing up and down his body, it was like Alex's features became bolder, brighter, more handsome. He looked like a perfect specimen to him, to the point where Egon almost couldn't take his eyes off of him.
"I'm going to make your day today..."
“What are you going to do?” Alex asked, although he really didn’t need to know. He was okay with whatever. As long as Egon was happy with him, he’d do it.
Egon brushed a hand along the side of Alex’s stomach and Alex made a little hurt, punched out noise from his gut and curled into the touch, but it was gone almost as fast as it appeared.
"Just...just close your eyes for me and stay still for a minute." Egon's voice was heavy, and slightly out of breath. He was almost desperate himself, he needed this just as much as Alex, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make Alex want him and love him for the rest of his life.
Alex could almost physically feel Egon's desire in the air, his need for more, seeping off from him as it grew with every passing second. Egon's body was trembling, his breath quick and shallow.
”Okay…” Alex swallowed for the first time in a while, finding his mouth dry but his lips slick with spit. He felt slightly debauched, but he preened at the knowledge that it was Egon who made him this way. Only for Egon.
He sat patiently and waited for whatever Egon had next.
Egon watched as Alex closed his eyes, watching him with baited breath and a deep seated hunger his lips were practically quivering with desire. And as he watched, the hunger inside him only grew more intense.
Quickly, his hands traced along the top of Alex's body, down his sides, all the way down to his thighs, caressing and teasing his body, making sure there wasn't a single inch missed.
Alex whimpered. He felt crazed. Egon’s hands felt so large and warm, almost feverish. Everywhere he touched felt like it was melting. Alex was practically drunk off the feeling as he squirmed with every new press into tender flesh that Egon figured out could make him writhe.
Just the sound of Alex's squirms was enough for Egon to get worked up even more, each touch and each squeeze of his body had him trembling with desire, his body quivering with excitement, ready to explode out in a fit of sheer pleasure.
Egon's hands moved faster, his touches more firm. He was determined to tease every last ounce of sound out of him that he could.
“Please, enough teasing!” Alex begged. He was almost crying now. His heart has been racing this entire time. He still had one more secret to tell Egon and the longer the foreplay went on, the more nervous he got about telling him.
Hearing that voice break out in tears in response to his touches only sparked more hunger in Egon's chest, but when he heard the pleading come from Alex's mouth, that was enough to cause the last pieces of resistance to crumble. He had to. No more teasing, no more playing, this was the real deal. He needed him now.
"All right, yes, I will, just...just let me-" Egon said, but his words were cut short by his own mouth coming down hard against Alex's.
Alex moaned loudly. Perhaps the loudest one yet as Egon’s hands grabbed his hips and seared him against his pelvis firm. He could feel…a certain hardness against his leg as Egon’s tongue explored his mouth and practically stole his oxygen away.
Egon groaned into the kiss, the sound rumbling up from deep in his chest. He couldn't hold himself back much longer now, the only thing on his mind was getting more. More of this perfect body, more of the sound of his pleas and whimpers.
Egon's hand moved downwards, squeezing firmly and squeezing Alex tighter against him. It was all he could do to keep himself from pushing him down and taking what he wanted right then and there.
As Egon’s hand moved downward, Alex’s hand suddenly shot out and grabbed his wrist in a moment of blind panic and clarity. It shocked Alex as much as it did Egon and for a moment they both simply stared at one another, panting, flushed.
“Egon…Eg-I’m…” Alex started, trying to word something but seemingly choking on it. “I need to tell you something before…before we do anything else.” Alex’s heart was in his throat. He thought he wouldn’t even get past the admission of him being bisexual, he didn’t know how to breech this. “Egon…I’m transgender.” Alex swallowed, throat tight with want as much as it was with fear.
Egon froze, hand still in mid air when he heard the words coming out of Alex's mouth. His breathing stopped, his heart beating out of his chest, it was a miracle that he didn't fall off of the table he was sitting on. Egon just stared, his mind whirring a million miles a second, trying to process what Alex had just told him.
All movement stopped.
God.
God.
He’d ruined it.
Ruined it.
Alex’s face burned with embarrassment. He knew Egon wouldn’t want him after this. He just thought…he doesn’t know what he thought…that in some miracle Egon would accept him?
His face burns with more than embarrassment, with shame.
He gets ready for Egon to push off and potentially even hit him. For baiting him. For being…a freak.
"Say that again."
It wasn't the reply Alex expected. It wasn't words that expressed disgust or anger or shame, but something deeper- something that spoke volumes to the depth of his emotions for him. Egon was breathless, his mind a million miles a second, but the intensity of the words in his throat were only getting stronger. He needed to hear it one more time to make sure he wasn't just hearing things.
Alex swallowed.
“I’m…I’m transgender.” He said, voice barely above a whisper.
His hand gripped the table’s edge, he could reach it from where Egon had pulled him closer to his hips. He was sweating, both from being hot, so so hot, pressed up against Egon, but also from nerves and anxiety chewing at his gut.
Egon's stomach flipped, his heart racing as blood rushed to every inch of his body. His mind was completely overwhelmed by the news he was just told, and he felt the heat and the intensity growing inside him again. But this time it was mixed with something new, with a hunger that he's never experienced before.
"Just one question..." Egon asked, his voice thick and heavy with desire and love. His body was trembling with need now, his heart ready to explode into sparks and flames.
”Yeah?” Alex whimpered.
Egon reached forward, grabbing Alex's wrist, pulling him closer, almost into a hug so he could whisper something in his ear.
"Are you a man?"
”Yes” Alex squeezed his eyes shut and whispered. Egon was so close.
"That's all I care about."
Egon's breath was so hot and heavy as he spoke, it felt like his words were igniting the room. He finally let go of Alex's wrist, his body trembling uncontrollably as all the desire he felt before seemed to have reached its peak. He was ready to take him, to mold him into whatever shape he found most desirable.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Alex felt like he was going to pass out. Or die. Maybe both.
His head was practically spinning. Egon’s hands grabbed his hips harder and slid down, brushing the waistband of his pants slightly further, exposing his hips and the beginning of a small happy trail.
He could cry.
He was so happy.
He was crying he realized. Tears slipped from his eyes as Egon began biting at his collarbone again.
Egon was like a heat seeking missile, his mouth, his lips, his teeth moving to whatever place he could find that would generate the most response out of Alex. He couldn't get enough of him, his lips trailing down his neck, down to his shoulders, his hand caressing his hips as he slowly pulled him even closer so he could bite, and bite, and scratch, and maul, and love every inch of him like he was a starving animal after the meal that had been denied him for months on end.
”Egon-“ Alex whimpered. His hands clawed at the thin fabric stretched over Egon’s back. He had money to afford the expensive thick type, Alex knew exactly what he was getting paid, but he also knew Egon preferred practical. Something he loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to come back to the lab dripping in ectoplasm or singed with soot.
In fact, maybe now Alex would finally have an excuse to get all those ruined cheap shirts off him.
Alex kissed at Egon’s mouth when he could. Brief, wet, desperate kisses.
Egon's mind was filled with nothing but Alex now, the sweet sound of his cries, the feel of his fingernails digging into his back, the way his body fit so neatly against his own....he couldn't go back, he didn't want to, he didn't intend on letting go of him until he finally saw him broken, broken and his, his alone.
Egon's desire continued to grow with every passing second, his breath getting heavier, his movements becoming more aggressive. He needed more.
“Whatever you want. Do whatever- I Just- ah - I need more” Alex pleaded. He knew it was pathetic. Begging to be taken, especially by someone he admired so much. He wanted Egon to think he was an equal, someone to be taken seriously. Not just some…whore. Something cheap to be broken.
But…maybe…just maybe…
He would like to be Egon’s anything.
He could be Egon’s plaything if he wanted. He’d bend.
He’s submit. He’d even let Egon break him, as long as he put him back together at the end.
And he would.
Because he knew Egon.
He trusted Egon.
So…
“More” he begged.
Egon's mind was just pure adrenaline now, thoughts coming one after another like a machine gun firing. Thoughts of him, of how he made this boy want him so desperately, how he trusted him so much that he'd let him do anything, even let him break him...it was everything he'd ever dreamed of and now that it was actually a reality it was all he could think about.
Egon's hands slid down to his back, gripping him harder, pulling him closer as his breath got heavier and heavier…
Alex bucked his hips against Egon, and the sweet friction that was there for less than a second lit a spark in his mind. He felt like goo. He was a specimen. All for Egon.
Now that he thought about it…he wouldn’t mind being examined like a subject. Put on display for the doctor.
Alex shivered at the thought.
“I really-really want you” Alex breathed, clutching at him.
Egon's movements slowed down as he saw how much he was affecting Alex now, how his actions were making the man absolutely tremble with desire and need. He savored the feeling, enjoying the feeling of his own dominance and the power it gave him. He could make Alex do anything, make him do anything he wanted…
"I want you bad..." Egon breathed, his voice heavy and thick with need as his mouth came down to Alex's neck, kissing and nipping along the way. Egon was trembling all over now.
”Then do something about it,” Alex bit, and leaned back baring his neck to Egon who bit it with a feverish intensity.
Egon moaned, the sound echoing in his ears as he bit and nicked along the sensitive areas on Alex's neck.
"What do you think I'm doing right now?"
Egon's grip on him had begun to loosen, but it was only so he could move one of his hands around to push Alex's hips forward and make him buck even harder against him.
“AH!” Alex jumped as one of Egon’s hands slid down his back and into the back of his pants. It cupped flesh, squeezing. Alex rocked against the touch, his front brushing against Egon’s feeling just how excited he was by this.
“I want more though…” Alex pawed at Egon’s neatly tucked shirt, finally managing to ruck the back up enough to grab skin just on the small of his back. He tried to pull him closer. “There are beds just a few rooms away you know…” Alex bit at Egon’s ear and got an almost growl-like sound in response.
Egon's mouth left his neck as he heard his ear being nipped on, making his grip on him tight again. He'd been thinking the same thing, the pull of their bodies together was too much to pass up.
"You know what? You're right..." Egon murmured, the only sound the deep breathing of the both of them as Egon began to push Alex towards the beds, eager for the chance to give him everything he wanted.
Alex stumbled blindly, stupidly, towards the bunk room. He knew which bed was Egon’s, and was suddenly thankful for the twin size, as it meant they would have to be as close as possible.
“Egon…” Alex breathed as he stumbled backwards onto the bed, Egon’s hands cupping his jaw. Alex begun to work on pulling the front of Egon’s shirt out of his slacks.
Egon's heart was pounding in his chest, the sound just loud and heavy in his head as he watched Alex start to pull down his shirt. His mouth was dry as all of the blood had rushed to his lower half at this point, making his entire body feel hot all over. He was practically shaking with every touch of Alex's hands as he held himself back at the moment. He could let himself go later, he had to wait just a few more seconds…
”Can I?” Alex asked, practically doe eyed as he looked up at Egon, flushed with lips wet with spit.
His hands fumbled with the zipper of Egon’s pants and the buckle of his belt. This was the only time he cursed how perfectly dressed Egon was. It got in his way of what he really wanted right now.
"Oh... oh yes.”
Egon's entire body was trembling in anticipation, his entire being was just craving for anything he could get from Alex and now to think that he was going to let him take off his pants to get to him....he was not going to last long if this continued.
Alex deftly and quickly undid Egon’s belt and zipper with a speed that told Egon he had done this before, and a primal, stupid part of Egon’s brain flared with jealousy. He wanted to kill whoever taught Alex that. Alex was his.
Alex yanked Egon’s slacks down and his briefs along with it. Quickly, he nosed along the V of Egon’s hips with the ferocity of a starved animal. He licked and kissed anywhere he could get his mouth to.
Egon couldn't stop the guttural sound of pleasure that came from his mouth, his legs wobbling with every touch of Alex's tongue and mouth. His breath was heavy and sharp, his body trembling with the intense desire now coursing through him.
Alex’s hands moved to cover whatever he couldn’t get with his mouth. He wanted this to be good for Egon. He wanted to be good for Egon. He made sure to keep his teeth out of the way, using his tongue mostly. He was still shy, new at this despite the fever with which he undressed Egon.
Suddenly, he felt a heavy pressure on the back of his head.
Egon’s hand.
Egon shoved ever so lightly, forcing Alex to go lower. He had to breathe through his nose now, which was new. His eyes watered up again, threatening to spill.
He liked this Egon though. This new, dominant, side. He liked the pressure of his hand, he liked being told what to do.
Egon's breathing was hot and heavy as he pushed Alex lower to him, his breath rushing out of his mouth with a guttural hiss as he pushed him lower and lower and lower. He needed what Alex was giving him now more than anything he had felt before. He wanted it, needed it, his entire body was trembling in a mixture of anticipation and pleasure, he was close, and he was close very very quickly.
Alex could feel Egon tensing up. He didn’t want this to end so soon but he didn’t know whether or not Egon wanted to go…that far with him.
Egon’s hand released up on his head slightly. Gently, the same hand came to brush sweaty hair behind Alex’s ear.
Egon was hot in Alex’s mouth. Like melting velvet. Alex could stay here forever, warm and fuzzy, doing whatever Egon says. Whatever makes him make the sounds he’s making now.
"Stop..." Egon breathed, his voice was thick and heavy as it was hard for him to get the words out. He was too close now, he needed to keep control of himself for just a little longer, to hold back a bit before he blew this early.
"Look at me." Egon hissed through his teeth as he grabbed Alex's hair and pulled him back up to his face like a demanding master grabbing his pet's leash.
Alex almost choked, pulling quickly off of Egon. His hands were strong, and huge compared to Alex’s face. It was a pretty picture for Egon. A flushed and hazed Alex, back arched, shirt ruffled and pushed up, midriff showing.
“Egon-“ Alex’s voice was hoarse. There was still spit connecting him to Egon.
Alex’s hands drifted to Egon’s thighs. He felt bad, he’d have to wash these slacks for Egon later. He was pretty sure he was going to have to wash this entire bed later.
"Put your hair back" Egon demanded, using all his strength to keep himself from grabbing Alex and pulling him back down for more.
He couldn't see anything else right now other than Alex. He wanted him. He needed him to be his.
Alex’s hair was short so he simply tucked it behind his ear. He blinked up at Egon and got the cue as Egon began tearing at the buttons of Alex’s shirt.
“Ah!-“ Alex tried to protest his shirt being destroyed but Egon simply kissed him and pushed him further up the bed towards his pillows.
“I’ll buy you a new one-“ Egon mended as he pulled the scrap off of Alex’s back and began working to undo his pants, still almost fully dressed himself.
Egon was now barely thinking, he'd let his desire take absolute control of him. He was practically ripping off Alex's pants out of the pure desire to be able to see more of his body. It was almost animalistic the way he was moving now, he couldn't even see straight. All he knew was that it was time to take Alex as his own, to possess him completely.
“Please-“ Alex coughed as he broke away from Egon to paw weakly at his pants, slug around his hips.
Egon kissed him animalistically.
”Baby,” Alex whined. The blood rushed straight to Egon’s lower half.
"Please what?" Egon said, his hands moving to pin down Alex's hands, taking charge of the situation now. He knew a guy like this didn't want to be in charge. The way Alex had been acting so shyly earlier, the way he'd begged Egon to take control made it clear he was just too…overwhelmed to have any kind of power in this situation. Egon let his mouth roam over his neck, gently scratching and biting wherever he thought would get a reaction out of him.
Alex’s breath was coming in shallow puffs now. His eyes rolled back in his head as Egon continued to make dark marks around his neck. He wouldn’t be able to cover them, they’d know. They’d know he was Egon’s.
“Please- doctor!” Alex begged. Egon’s hand roamed up Alex’s lower half, now completely open to him.
Egon stopped, his hands drifting down to his hips again to grip them. He liked how Alex's eyes rolled back into his head as he called him doctor. It made his heart beat to think that Alex would want him to be his doctor, even if it was just for this moment, because that was exactly the title he wanted right now. He wanted to do experiments on him, to see the inside of him, to break him down into all of his pieces, then putting him together again like a puzzle to make him exactly what he needed.
“Take me…” Alex swallowed, mouth dry, “Take me apart…” He finally managed to pull his lovers pants completely off and his shirt as well, leaving him in the same state as Alex.
He was glad the fire house was warm. Hot, even.
Maybe that was just them two.
Egon's entire body shivered at that one sentence. It was as though he could feel the heat radiate off of his own body, his heart beating so quickly that it almost hurt him.
This boy, Alex, he was exactly what Egon needed. Maybe not just for a few nights, but for forever.
"Then I will take you apart..." Egon said, it was almost a threat. No one else was getting him, he was his.
“Please,” Alex kissed Egon as he felt him move. This position was similar to the table, except now Egon towered even more-so over him.
They hadn’t grabbed any sort of…help…for this. It was just them. Bare. Alex hoped Egon was fine with that. He was on the pill after all.
“I want you-“ Egon kissed Alex to shut him up and moved. He felt hot. Much hotter than anything or anybody Alex had been with before. And his body was, larger. He covered Alex’s whole chest, and he could feel one of Egon’s hands tracing one of his top surgery scars.
Egon shivered again, his body shaking with both the desire he was feeling and the thought that there was nothing to stop them from going all the way, no condoms or contraception, nothing at all. He wanted to take Alex and to make him his, on every level.
Alex's scars were just a bonus to him, something he liked to see on another's body as it told more about who they were. He would always appreciate the scars Alex got, because it made him know Alex even more.
“I don’t need…prep,” Alex breathed. He flushed with the admission but it was true. He watched as the realization suck into Egon’s face and he grinned, devilish.
“Yeah?” Egon asked, petting Alex’s side sweetly. It amazed him how even in such heated moments like this Egon could be so sweet and shy.
“Was thinking of you while I…” Alex admitted in a breathy, sort of out of control voice before he could even think about what he was saying.
"You were?" Egon whispered back, his voice full of shock, it seemed almost impossible that Alex would think of him at all when he was alone.
"Just me?"
Egon's hands began to make their way over Alex's body again, stroking down his sides as he watched for his reaction.
“Only you.” Alex moaned as Egon’s hand teased him.
“Wanted to be Yours” Alex purred. He kissed the bridge of Egon’s nose, something he knew the other man was sensitive about, but to Alex, he loved it, it was strong and regal just like the man it was attached to.
"Oh..." Egon breathed as he heard Alex moaning and kissing his nose, he could feel his heart skipping a beat at that admission. No one had ever said anything like that to him before, he didn't expect anyone to ever tell him that they wanted him, let alone only him. His entire body was trembling now as he felt a rush of emotions all at once.
He lowered his face back to Alex's and kissed him deeply, unable to help himself at all.
“Please, please need you now, needed you yesterday,” Alex began to whine, clawing at Egon’s back freely now. He was sure he would leave faint red marks in his wake. He wanted to mark Egon as much as Egon wanted to mark him.
He drew his legs around Egon’s back and pulled him closer into his hips, barely pulling him in.
Alex grit his teeth. He was so hot. He felt like he had a fever.
Egon groaned at that as his grip on Alex tightened, his breath coming out sharp and heavy as he pressed himself into him with everything he had. His heart was racing and he could feel his vision blurring at the heat now, he was so worked up that it was becoming difficult to keep steady because everything that Alex was doing was sending him straight to the breaking point.
Alex’s whines and moans took a sharp turn into a higher register as Egon pushed home. It felt insane. He felt like he was full to his throat. He wanted to spend and entire eon here in Egon’s arms.
Egon’s moans took a lower register however, as he braced one arm bracketing Alex’s head, hair flung widely out onto the pillow behind him. Alex’s arm flew up to claw at Egon’s nape.
It reminded him of how this started, Egon’s finger slowly drawing up and down his head.
Alex felt drunk. Egon felt powerful.
Egon could feel Alex's back arching as he pushed deeper and deeper, each movement making Egon feel more and more dominant, more and more in control of Alex. He could hear the other man growling and moaning with each thrust as it drove him close to his limit, but Egon couldn't stop himself, he wanted even more.
”Egon- Doctor- I’m so close” Alex breathed. His eyes were brimmed with tears as Egon pushed against a spot inside him that made him see stars. His hand gripped into Egon’s back further, and he was sure his nails were breaking skin as he dug into him and pulled him closer, kissing him harder, teeth biting lips and clacking into each other.
Egon's lips were still locked to his, his mouth moving even as his body shivered at the pressure from Alex's hand. He was on the verge of losing it completely, he needed this release more than anything right now because he had come so far. He'd be lying if he said his actions weren't a bit selfish, but no matter what his intentions were, his mind wasn't thinking like that right now, all he could think about was taking more and more.
“Egon.” Alex’s voice tumbled into a softer tone without even meaning to. “I thi-uh-” he made stupid little punched out noises with every movement. Egon gripped his hand that was on his back and pinned it to the pillows behind his head with his own. He felt just as hot as Alex, if not more so.
“I think- think I’m in-“ Alex gasped and made a long pathetic cry as Egon slowly moved and held his position against him. “ITHINKIMINLOVEWITHYOU-” Alex jumbled out in a moment of happiness and haze induced fog as Egon, the man of his dreams, the guy he’s wanted for so so long, holds him and kisses him and presses into him.
Egon shivered at that admission, his chest feeling as though it were being crushed from the sudden rush of emotions that came from Alex's words. He couldn't even think right now, he wasn't thinking of anything other than this moment, this man he had wanted for so long was in his arms telling him that he loved him. Egon squeezed the boy tighter as he finally released him from the pressure and finally allowed himself to just rest his weight on top of Alex, holding him close.
Alex felt Egon tense, and one of his large hands came to grip Alex’s lower half. He pulled, and a few strokes later Alex’s back bowed and his eyes rolled and he made an absolutely pathetic whimper as he folded.
He was Egon’s.
Egon shivered again, his jaw was clenched tight as he tried to get everything under control and stop his entire world from shaking. Now that he had Alex here, he wasn't going to let him go. He was only his, he was finally his and Egon had never felt this good before as he felt a rush of pride flow through him. He would have to wait to ask if it was just a heat-of-the-situation statement or if it was the real thing, but right now it didn't matter. All he could think of was that he had him.
Egon felt heavy on top of Alex as he laid there after the fact. Alex didn’t have the strength to move him. He really didn’t think he wanted to move him. He felt… warm and full and he really had never been happier. He had the man he loved in bed with him…shit, he had just made love to the man he loved. Alex felt like he may explode despite being so wrung out.
He could still feel Egon’s hands rubbing softly at his hips, even despite him being exhausted. Alex felt a different part of him warm, his heart. Even despite everything Egon was still thinking of him first.
Egon didn't try to move either, he felt so incredibly content just laying on top of Alex, his body pressed firmly against him. Egon's fingers were still tracing over his hips, he couldn't get enough of the boy beneath him. He'd never felt like this before, Alex had a hold on him he didn't think he would ever have over anyone, in this moment he had finally been taken by someone, he had finally been possessed and he wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep with Alex in his arms.
”Egon.” Alex whispered a few minutes after their breathing had calmed down. Egon had shifted slightly to get off of Alex’s chest.
“I love you.” Alex breathed as Egon played with his hair.
He felt Egon smile against his shoulder.
"I love you too."
Egon's reply was simple, but he meant it with all his heart as he shifted off of him, laying beside him now. He was so comfortable and so content with him, he wanted to hold him this way for the rest of his life and he honestly didn't want to be anywhere else right now. His arm snaked around and wrapped tightly around him as he brought him closer to himself, holding him close while his finger played with the hair at the back of his head.
Alex nuzzled into Egon’s neck. He shivered as the last of Egon pulled out.
“Do ya’ think we could sleep here?” Alex asked, already sleepy. Egon had tired him out, and he was still partially in that fuzzy state in between conscious and pliable.
Egon’s hand wrapped further around him. He was warm and still slightly tacky with sweat.
Egon shivered as he felt Alex nuzzle into him again, he couldn't help but give a soft chuckle when he heard his request to sleep together, he was already getting used to being Alex's pillow.
"Yes, I do."
He was tired too and he let himself drift off with his body pressed against Alex's, his arm keeping him close even when his eyes were starting to shut and his heart was trying to slow back down.
Alex fell asleep peacefully and quickly that night. It was nice. He felt completely comfortable for once. He had half the mind to pull his boxers and Egon’s shirt on before completely drifting off and forcing Egon to at least pull his boxers on as well.
-
He was glad he did, because somehow both of them forgot to set any sort of clock beside any bedside table, and by the time Venkman got to the firehouse the next day, they had just enough time to hear the door on the first floor open to be able to wake up and rush to get things ready.
Egon sat up slowly when he heard the firehouse door slam open from the lower floor. He looked around, seeing Alex pull on his boxers next to him.
He had to be dreaming still because Alex had spent the entire night with him. Egon was already slipping on pants by then and Alex was up as well.
They both looked half dressed but it was enough to not raise suspicions that they had been with each other. For all Peter knew, Egon had simply spent the night in the lab and Alex had had a particularly good date. They shuffled blearily into the kitchenette, and belatedly, Alex realized all of Egon’s work was still across the table. He hoped it could survive a night of no refrigeration, he would’ve hated to have ruined all of his hard work. He didn’t look worried, so Alex was not panicked just yet.
Instead, Egon headed to the kitchen and started pulling down some pancake mix and a bowl from a higher shelf than Alex couldn’t usually get to without going on his tip-toes, and grabbing a pan from under the sink.
Alex sat at the same chair he had been accosted in last night and watched intensely. Egon looked so domestic. He had to borrow extra sweats and an old college hoodie in his locker here since his clothes were ruined last night. He was lucky enough to have another work outfit in his locker. So he didn’t have the luxury of pretending like the two of them had truly spent a night together like a real couple.
Even though they did.
Finally.
Instead, he was already internally preparing to make up some story about someone else if Peter asked about his neck. Thankfully, Alex was smart enough to keep any marks he left on Egon where only he could see them.
Egon was focused on his cooking, he'd made pancakes here a few times before but he was determined to make this a good breakfast for Alex, now that they were actually official.
He was too focused on that to notice just how much Alex was staring at him, watching him like a predator would prey.
It was a nice feeling to know he had this kind of attention. He finally looked over at him though and smirked at the sight before going back to cooking.
Alex knew he had to tear his attention away before Venkman came up here and caught on to something. He was half worried that the place still reeked of sex.
He had quickly thrown the sheets of his and every other bed into the washer with the help of Egon, along with their clothes.
In all terms, nothing was left of evidence.
But Alex kinda wanted there to be.
He really, really liked Egon.
Watching him cook pancakes, for him and Alex, providing like this without being asked, warmed his heart a little bit and he had to catch himself before his brain took off with the thought and started imagining 10 years in the future, to mornings just like this, except maybe with a few little feet running around.
Egon was actually feeling warm at the looks Alex was giving him, it made him feel good that Alex was looking at him like this, that he could make this guy so happy. Egon didn't think of the future, he was just focused on this moment, on making these pancakes. Once he had the batter properly mixed he set the bowl down and pulled out the frying pan, beginning to heat it with grease.
Alex didn’t think anything could ruin his mood today.
That was, almost.
-
After Egon had finished his pancakes, they had both eaten just as Peter finally came upstairs to see them. Apparently he had stopped to check on the car before coming up, so they had more time than they thought.
They conversed casually, and sure enough, as Alex bit into another bite of his pancakes, he watched Peter eye his neck suspiciously.
“WHO gave you those things newsboy?” He asked, smirking.
Alex felt Egon’s leg tense against his, but he didn’t stop eating or show any other sign of being startled, so that was good.
“Just some girl from the bar…” Alex mumbled.
He didn’t know if Egon wanted to be open about it. He wished he had gotten to talk about it with him before everyone had shown up for work the next day. They had a scheduled go over of what they were going to do with the vault and its size soon.
But it was interrupted.
As soon as everyone had crowded around the breakfast nook upstairs, the alarms rang and Janine was yelling from downstairs about some high level poltergeist at the manhattan library. Suddenly, just as fast as they arrived, the boys had taken off in the van, all suited up.
Egon spared him a fleeting glance, and it was packed with a lot, before he had shuffled in and they had flipped the sirens on and pulled off.
Well.
He may as well get some work done for the rest of the day while they were gone.
-
Egon had caught an expression out of the corner of his eye from Peter and Alex's exchange that he didn't like, his jaw was clenching as they were interrupted, but there was no chance to dwell on it right now. He was more worried about Alex, hoping he wouldn't get into any kind of trouble from the lie he'd told. As Egon was going into the van he gave Alex a glimpse of a look that said 'I'll talk to you about it later' before being shut into the van with the rest of the team.
-
Alex had busied himself until the van had pulled up again late in the day.
It was a bad bust. At least a rough one.
There was a loud noise of the garage opening and the van pulled in with the boys in tow. They hoped out one by one.
Peter looked tired, already smoking. Ray was talking frantically to Winston who didn’t seem to be paying that much attention, talking about dinner. And finally, Egon folded himself out of the tight door and seemed to be almost…smoking.
Not, like. Attractive-ness wise.
Like, legitimately smoking.
As in on fire.
Alex rushed over to see what was wrong, but as he approached Egon simply held up the smoking ecto-trap, still steaming from a big catch. He smiled tiredly and looked down at Alex.
Egon looked exhausted and in need of a good shower at the moment, sweat and ash covered him and Alex couldn't find a clean spot on him if he tried. He was panting heavily the moment he made it out of the van since the last ghost they had encountered had been one hell of a fight. His eyes immediately locked with Alex's when he started running over towards him and his face lit up with that tired, sweet smile. He was grateful that the one person he actually wanted to see right now was there to see him.
Alex looked towards the rest of the boys. “Okay boys, beds are freshly made. Go shower and while you do that I’ll order your favorite Chinese takeout!” Alex declared and he could practically feel Egon melt under his touch on his back with his words.
With that, everyone scuddled off to busy themselves.
Egon's shoulders sagged the moment he heard that, his expression suddenly becoming much more relaxed and calm. As soon as the rest of the guys left the room he had wrapped his arms tightly around him again, burying his face down into the crook of his neck.
"I don't feel like you give yourself enough credit Alex, I'm always fed well here."
His words were tired and scratchy, but he was still smiling as he squeezed him tight.
Alex nuzzled back, only slightly bothered by the singed smell of his uniform. That would have to be fixed later.
“Go shower, big guy.” Alex shoved Egon gently off him and towards the showers with the rest of the guys. He wanted him to be clean and feeling good before he gave him a warm meal.
Egon reluctantly let himself be pushed away but he still made good use of the rest room as he stripped off his sweaty clothes and headed into the shower. It wasn't easy to wash the thick layer of sweat and ash from his skin this far in but he was able to at least get it to the point where he didn't smell like he'd been standing next to someone on fire. He got out of the shower after about 20 minutes and put on a clean set of clothes he had kept up here.
As he searched for clothes, he realized a sweater from earlier was missing. He’d have to ask Alex if he’d seen where it had gone, maybe in with the clothes that they ruined last night.
Egon smiled smugly at the thought.
And here everyone thought he had no game.
He shook his head.
It was more than that.
He really, really liked Alex. He felt connected to him, on a deeper level than he did with anybody else on the team. He wanted to come home to him after a long day of kicking ass and saving the world, knowing he was safe and happy.
Egon smiled at the thought happily as he appeared back in the kitchenette, empty save for you even though everyone else had gone off to shower before him.
Egon was content with this moment right now, he was home and he didn't have to worry about his team for a little while longer. And even if Alex was still going through his stuff, and stealing it to wear home, he didn't have any concerns.
"I'm back, how have you been holding up here?" He asked, walking into the kitchenette with a small, gentle smile as he leaned up against the counter. Egon just wanted to keep talking with Alex for a little while longer before they had to actually get busy with work things.
Alex opened one of 3 bags of Chinese food he had ordered while the rest of them were showering.
“I’m okay. That bust looked rough. Wanna’ talk about it?”
Alex asked, bumping his hip playfully against Egon’s in an attempt to keep the mood light even though he knew sometimes talking about scary or close-call busts made Egon get antsy.
Egon's face was still a little bit strained after the bust but he couldn't help but smile when he noticed Alex was trying to keep the mood light, Egon liked that part of him. He couldn't help but chuckle as Alex bumped his hip against him, he knew Alex was trying to help. When the topic of the bust came up, Egon tried to dismiss it.
"Oh it was nothing, the ghost was just a bit stronger than expected but it turned out fine. Don't worry about it."
Alex could tell he was dodging him, but he wasn’t going to push. Egon would come to him when he was ready.
Or, he maybe he could take out his stress with busts a different way now.
Either way, Alex didn’t mind for now.
Presently, he focused on getting the food out of the bags and cleaning Egon’s makeshift science lab off the and onto the counter.
Alex was glad. It looked like they had all survived the night and were doing fine. Egon didn’t seem fussed with him moving them either. Just watched, enraptured, leaning over the rest of the kitchen with arms folded as Alex moved methodically.
Egon's eyes kept on moving from his food to Alex and back again, that sweet smile never leaving his face as he admired the way he went about his work. Egon's stomach was rumbling now that that sweet smell was filling the kitchenette, the smell of the fresh food just making his stomach growl. His hand reached out to try and grab a piece of the food but each time he reached his hand out he stopped himself, not wanting to eat until Alex had a chance to eat something too.
Alex playfully batted at his hand. “Let me grab the others, they went to grab beers from the basement freezer.”
Alex swung himself quickly around the fire pole a few yards away and Egon watched him quickly drop out of view rolling his eyes.
Always dramatic.
Alex was the one that used that silly pole the most despite only being a desk jockey and a PR Princess for the team.
Egon chuckled a little bit as he watched Alex take the fire pole, as much as he thought it was a bit much he was more impressed that Alex could actually pull it off. Egon got too lost in his own thoughts to notice that Alex had left until he was back in just a minute or two with the other guys in tow.
Alex bounded up the stairs and gleefully placed a cold 6 pack down in the center. Janine was even in tow behind the rest of the guys.
Egon smiled gently. It was perfect. All his favorite people.
Alex brushed up against him, smiling with a specific warmth meant only for him.
He clapped his hands together happily. “Okay guys!” He addressed everyone and gestured to the wide spread of Chinese food in the center of the table, with the beer as the centerpiece. “Dig in!”
Egon felt like something had suddenly and unexpectedly popped into place in his life. Like something was just ever so slightly out of alignment, and in this particular moment it all became very, blindingly clear.
It was all perfect.
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
Final notes: woah!! Okay so that was a long story sorry everyone I have brainrot. Not responsible for my own actions but honestly we need more good ftm shit on this website so I took it upon myself. Hope everyone enjoyed but look out for more stuff soon because I finally feel like actually writing yayyyy :333
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sukunasweetheart · 2 years
Text
Headcanons for sukuna as a volleyball player - idk if i wanted this to be set during highschool or not so i guess it'll be kinda generic or all over the place haha,, dedicated to @luvkun4 my love, who likes haikyuu and sukuna so its a perfect combo for her
warnings; NSFW, throat fucking, rough and angry sex, degradation, femme reader, youre kinda his pocket pu$$y but also his sweet gf, minor angst but with happy end -- this wouldve been a good fic but i dont have the energy for a fully written fic nowadays, im alr working on a billion rn
edit; THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LENGTHYY sorry, i wanted to add in the drama
right.. idk from where i should unpack this
we all know... sukuna would be competitive as fuck.
i know for a fact that he hates losing so much
which is what makes him such a good player tbh, the balls not gonna touch the ground as long as hes around
he’s a wing spiker, and definitely the ace (cough, totally not inspired by this gorgeous fanart)
hes so mean and arrogant but is willing to demonstrate teamwork in order to win and so theres obvious respect between him and his teammates
uraume is the manager, tho its clear that they favour sukuna the most pff
sukunas such a powerful player, no one can beat him one on one and hes so sexy when hes playing seriously
volleyball sukuna and his fuckin horse cock, u bet u wanna get wrecked by his shii
problem is, i cant find a creative way of how yall first met 
idk, probably through mutual friends, out in a big group at a restaurant ?? maybe you hooked up with him afterwards and you both caught feelings for each other
yeah something along those lines
anyway ofc seggs after matches are a regular thing haha
its almost an expectation that you come to see his games now
here comes the smut smut smut
vb sukuna would totally drag you into the unisex bathrooms so you can “help him relax” right before the game starts...
nothing like cumming down your throat to get him all warmed up
and youre such a whore for him, you can never say no bc YOU DONT WANT TOOO <3
even tho you make a fuss about the icky floor pfft, he grunts and lays a bunch of toilet paper for u to kneel on, what a gentleman
his soft groans as he lodges his thick cock into your warm mouth, and then pushing your head down to go even deeper
the pleasures just too great, the thrilling mixture of being in a public toilet right before a big match, fucking your tight throat raw
and your teary eyes, fluttering your lashes up at him with a mouthful of dick, he could laugh from how adorable you look
after hes done spurting stringy thick ropes of his seed down your esophagus hes just: “thanks babe... you sucked the nerves right outta me.”
and you know its bullshit bc hes smirking in that sarcastic way, and its a fact that sukuna doesnt know what it feels to be nervous!!!
lucky for you, he treats you better than anyone else - he wipes your mouth and kisses you before parting ways with you
likes to give you another smirk once he finds you amongst the audience
its crazy how much energy he still has after games
on the rare occasions when his team loses... oh boy
100% takes his frustration out using sex
just thinking abt the simmering anger...practically throws you onto his bed
pins your body down and slamming into you with his whole body weight
ruins you so bad, bruises and bites literally everywhere
but like... you’re into that shit
butterflies in stomach whenever the other team ends up winning
“ugh...fuckin’ squeezing me like that... you don’t want me to stop, do you?”
“maybe you like it when i lose a game. what a whore.”
“sukuna...sukuna, too bi-big..”
“oh? and you’d think this cunt would be pretty used to it by now,” he responds cockily. it turns you on when he uses such vulgar language.
spills so many loads into you, youre like a cream filled donut by the end
spanks you too, handprints on your ass and all - omg imagine the strength as a vb player
the aftercare is nice, usually he brings you to the bath immediately and check you out if you need ointment applied to your skin or vice versa
but it wouldnt be surprising if he got lazy with it on some days, especially after an exhausting game, having sex on top of that is gotta be tough
also he spends a lot of time training and practicing, which adds to your loneliness
sometimes you overthink it and feel like youre just being used, but instead of communicating it, you just act more sensitively around him
and vb sukuna sucks at picking up the small cues, so he just thinks youre being unreasonable
the two of you get into a pretty heated argument which ends with you storming off one time
theres a bit of silent treatment going on, but then afterwards you start talking with him “normally” again
theres an obvious distance growing between you and him, and your attitude is colder than it used to be. sukuna thinks its something thatll pass sooner or later
but then you text him, saying that you wont be able to come and see his game
thats not right. hes had a few fights with you before, but you’ve never skipped out on coming to watch him like this, ever.
but being a prideful tsundere he is, he just replies with a “do whatever you want” before chucking his phone off to the side (which he checks later again, to see if you said anything more after that. you didnt.)
on the day of the match, hes constantly checking the crowd if youre there
its not like *glance* he cares *glance* about you coming *glance* or anything *glance*
his mates raise eyebrows and tell him to focus properly and hes never looked scarier lmao
they won in the end, but the taste of victory isnt the same
the group wants to celebrate and go to some restaurant to eat but he skips out and goes home alone
and when he opens his door to an empty and dark living room, he cant shake off the feeling of uneasiness in the pit of his stomach
totally doesnt google search “signs of an incoming breakup”
feels worse afterwards
eats a nice and nutritious meal he cooked for himself, but it tastes kinda like cardboard
i said previously that sukuna doesnt know what feeling nervous is, but now he does, hes terrified youre gonna pull the breakup card on him, he wont know how to deal with that
he has a feeling that if he doesnt do something about this now, he will lose his chance forever
sukuna calls you but you dont pick up
he finds his way to your front door and rings the bell, and you call out from the other side asking him what he wants from you
“why didnt you pick up any of my calls? i want to talk.”
he hates how whiny he sounds.
you crack open the door ever so slightly, so only one of your eyes are visible to him
“about what?”
“about... this. about us.”
“...you’ve been crying. let me in.”
he gently pushes open your door and you stand out of the way, letting him
...and he starts with an apology. about saying mean things to you during the argument, about acting like he doesnt care when he does (he cares so much abt you that it drives him mad), pretending not to notice how upset you were
you watch him sternly, but end up bursting into tears bc youre so relieved he came out and admitted to his faults, and that theres hope for this relationship
youre bawling as he pulls you into his arms, and you confess that not going to see him and treating him coldly was the hardest thing youve ever done in your life
sukunas so relieved you still feel deeply for him, and simultaneously upset bc youre upset
you reveal that youve been feeling neglected, feeling like he only liked you for your body, and you too, apologise for not communicating that and acting sensitively instead
hes appalled, calls you an idiot but then retracts that statement and denies ever having thought in that way
the two of you snuggle up so close together in your bed, communicating and chatting and catching up for hours while he occasionally eyes the mountain of used tear-filled tissues in your room, rather concerned
for a while, he doesnt initiate sexual activity unless you specifically want it bc he wants to prove he likes spending quality time with you just as much <3
and when sex does eventually happen, he makes it very romantic and meaningful, with proper aftercare, continuously whispering “i love you,” throughout
and he shall do anything to have you keep loving him back.
some general stuff with vb sukuna:
mad tall. i wont give an exact number but anywhere between 195 - 200cm tall :>
mad horny. hes like an animal
hes such a big eater,, i mean, i see sukuna as a big eater in any au but this one in particular bc hes an athlete haha
u probably make protein shakes for him and stuff, but hes not rly on a strict diet or anything, he just eats anything and everything
has a lotta fangirls >:( but he ignores them now, after he met you >:) but before, he probably played around a lot and hooked up with some >:( he never liked any of them to stick around, tho >:) except you >:)
goes on morning runs, at like 6am and gives u a kiss on the cheek beforehand
is so fucking touchy clingy, always needs you on his lap, hands under your skirt or shirt
the last guy who tried to hit on you got a nosebleed, getting hit with a volleyball (its so funny, he changed his aim mid-spike during a practice match)
haha he was sent to the bench for that one (everyone was chuckling behind their hands)
the headband was given to him by you, bc he once complained abt having to gel his hair every morning + gel doesnt keep his hair in shape when hes sweating excessively
thats all for today <3 thanks for reading
Masterlist
tagging; @yuujispinkhair @moonchild-artemisdaughter @skunaskitten
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channelworldbluez · 1 month
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What they DONT tell you about detransitioning is the constant need to prove myself to others that I’m fr.
Like for example, most detransition stories(female perspective) revolve around a woman who regretted it and is now presenting feminine which is no problem! Great! I’m happy for them.
And the ones that do retain their “masculinity”(I hate using this word but stay with me) do make changes still. Grow their hair out a bit, cut off their facial hair, get laser hair removal, change their name and again I am happy for them!!
Then there’s my goofy ahh who besides stopping T(I’m four months off T today for the record) who virtually changed nothing and doesn’t want too. I look exactly how I always been because for me when I was transitioning technically I was being myself I just felt like I had to take hormones and call myself a male. But the whole time the way I dressed the way I act etc was me frfr…
Like in part of this detrans discord and their was a discussion one day about swimsuits and it’s like…can’t I just wear board shorts and a tank top like I always have? I don’t wanna wear swimsuits…like obviously they weren’t saying I should but it was just this disconnect so I checked out (could be a bit of entitlement idk)
Honestly the only thing I wish I can change is the gender marker on my drivers license I just idk how yet
But then there’s the “proving” part. Now I feel like yall looking at me like I’m not really about that life. Like I’m lying which is stupid because I’m not lying, but idk…fuck this. If they were more detrans women like me out there that I saw I probably wouldn’t feel like this but now I feel like an oddball lmaoo
I’m overthinking myself to death
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alectothinker · 10 months
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the unwanted guest vs [redacted bc spoilers]
bc im insane about this story and its references
anyone getting jb priestly an inspector calls vibes from the unwanted guest ?? a couple things i noticed:
the stage play format + old timey rich family house setting (fireplace, butler/maid, calling card etc) is very similar to AIC 
from the play: "The dining room is of a fairly large suburban house, belonging to a prosperous manufacturer. It has a good solid furniture of the period. The general effect is a substantial and heavily comfortable but not cosy and homelike."
ianthe straight up calls pal "inspector" lol
pal questions ianthe indirectly to reveal her guilt about killing/exploiting babs (v like the inspector vs the birling family)
from sparknotes (lol): "Strangely, the Inspector does not ask questions about what they know about her death. His questions, instead, prompt each family member to struggle with and eventually face guilt for Eva/Daisy’s death." "The Inspector’s questioning unravels the mystery of how each family member has used social standing, influence, and power over others without personal consequence, devastating the young woman’s life." ^ vs pal calling out 3rd house heir and lyctor ianthe tridentarius for seeing+spending babs (who had been assigned cavalier status at birth) as a resource 
 Pal: "you never stop to check the price tag. You just pay whatever's asked, up front, and walk away."
vs AIC: "The play, as events unfold, suggests that an empowered class exploits the underclass without consideration of consequences for its exploitation."
consequence being that tern's whole life was fucked, and ianthe never considered that her own soul would be corrupted (in her pov) by babs'
Lastly, pal vs the moral of AIC: 
"The Birling family’s collective guilt conveys Priestley’s message that it is the social duty of every human being to examine the impact of any action on others and to care for and help them, without self-consideration."
vs everything that pal says in the story, +in ntn, paul still tries to help ianthe/babs: "There’s still time, Ianthe. Time for you, and for Naberius Tern.”
someone on tumblr has probably written this meta but to me TUG is pal (+tamsyn) laying out how systematically exploitative the necro/cav relationship can be (with ianthe helping out a lot lol). which imo aligns pretty closely with what priestly is trying to say with AIC, and also with dulcie's hamlet quote: ‘Use every man after his desert, and who should ‘scape whipping?’
also TUG feels like some sort of. idk awakening in pal? and therefore paul? cant wait to see them fuck shit up in new and interesting ways. ok thats all pls lmk if yall have thoughts!! i last read AIC in middle school for my GCSE's LOL
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dc-marvel-life · 1 year
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Perfect Fit Part 3
Pairing: Wanda x Natasha x reader
Summary: Y/N is the new member joining the Avengers that came from a top-secret program in SHIELD that she was in all her life. Now that she has joined the team, she is experiencing life for the first time. She has caught the eye of the two most powerful women on the team.
Word Count: ~1.6K
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5
“Y/N, come on, the party is about to start, and that means drinks should be in use already,” Carol says through Y/N’s door. Y/N laughs at opens the door to Carol, who is wearing black leather pants and a black leather jacket. She is wearing a worn rock band shirt on, and she looks very hot. 
“You look so hot right now, Carol,” Y/N says shamelessly, looking her up and down. Y/N hasn’t had any action in a long time. Right now, she has her eyes on Wanda and Natasha, but they are in a long-term relationship, so why not try your hand at the all-powerful blonde woman in front of her. Y/N knew she loved powerful women and had no shame in it. Y/N knew it was wrong to think about hooking up with team members and could end badly, but look at all the women she works with. It will be hard not to hook up with all of them. Natasha and Wanda are dating, and everyone thinks Yelena and Kate are dating.
“Thanks, Y/N, you don’t look bad yourself,” Carol says, checking out Y/N. Y/N and Carol just stood there for a second, checking each other. They turn away from each other when they hear a door open, and it is Natasha and Wanda’s door. 
“Didn’t yall hear? The party is about to start, so let’s make our way to the living room to start drinking,” Wanda says, then grabs Y/N’s hands to lead her to the living room while Natasha glares at Carol. Y/N didn’t understand what was happening because she was too distracted by Wanda holding her hand. All four ladies entered the living room, and Tony, Bucky, and Thor were already there. 
“Ladies! How great to see you guys again! There is a new one here too! My name is Thor, the God of Thunder. What a pleasure meeting you,” Thor says, bowing to Y/N. Y/N bows back at him.
“Nice to meet you, Thor. I heard so much about you,” Y/N says, smiling. 
“Well, I hope all good things. I wish I had been here sooner, but I am king, and my people needed me. The good news is that I am here now, and I brought Asgardian booze and Valkyrie,” Thor says. Valkyrie comes busting in the door with two barrels of Asgardian Booze. Y/N lets go of Wanda’s hand that she forgot she was holding to go and help Valkyrie with the barrels.
“Let me help you out there,” Y/N says, trying to take a barrel away.
“Trust me, I can handle-” Valkyrie stopped talking when she saw Y/N. 
“Actually, you can take it, pretty lady,” Valkyrie says, winking at Y/N. Y/N takes the barrel quickly and places it on the table with all the other alcohol. 
“Better be careful with that, Y/N. That booze will get you drunk with only one sip,” Thor jokingly tells her.
“I bet it is not that strong,” Y/N teases back.
“The last person who said that was Nat, and I drank her under the table before Valkyrie, and I had a buzz with this stuff,” Thor tells her.
“I bet I can handle you guys. I am not a lightweight,” Y/N challenges them.
“Alright, I like this one. How about this? Once everyone gets here, we can open this barrel and see who can drink the most,” Valkyrie says.
“I am in,” Y/N says with her hand out. Thor and Valkyrie all shake on it.
“We will call you when we are about to start,” Thor says and go and talk with Tony. 
A few hours go back, and the place is packed with people. The whole team was able to show up, like T-Challa. The drinks are flowing, and everyone is having a great time. Y/N is on the couch with Natasha and Wanda talking. 
“And that is how I was able to take down a 6’5, 300-pound man in a padded room with just a pencil,” Y/N finished telling them the story.
“Wow, you seem pretty talented; I can’t wait to see what you can do on a mission. You will be a huge help,” Natasha says, placing her hand on Y/N’s thigh. Y/N looks down at Natasha's hand and tries not to freak out; Thor hops onto the couch to sit with them. 
“It is time, Y/N! It is time to see if you can hold your liquor,” Thor says and hands Y/N a cup of booze. Y/N takes a sniff, then chugs the liquid into her cup.
“Mmmm, that was good. Can I have another?” Y/N says, handing back her cup to Thor.
“Oh, this is going to be a good night. Come on, Y/N,” Thor says and gets up from the couch to go to the kitchen with the barrel.
“Looks like I will see you two ladies later because I need to go and drink Thor and Valkyrie under the table,” Y/N says, laughing, going to Thor and Valkyrie. They both watch Y/N walk away from them.
“We are fuck aren’t we,” Wanda says to Natasha, then sipping her drink.
“Oh yeah, we are. No doubt about it,” Natasha says and sipping her drink too.
“Dragoste, I just want you to know that I do love you, and my feelings haven’t changed for you,” Wanda says, a little tipsy.
“Dorogoy, I feel the same way about you. I love you so much and wouldn’t change anything about you. I am confused about why I… I mean, we have a strong attraction toward Y/N,” Nat confesses.
“Me either, but let’s just let her settle into her new life and see if we still feel the same in a few months” Wanda grabbed Natasha's hand and kissed her knuckles. 
“Agree, now let’s go watch Y/N get drunk and try to out-drink Gods,” Natasha laughs, and they go and watch Y/N, Thor, and Valkyrie.
Everyone at the party watches all three of them drink. No one thought that Y/N couldn’t hang with Thor and Valkyrie, but she shockingly did. She was going back to back with the drinking duo; yes, she was getting drunk but holding her own. Later in the night, 6 barrels have been through, most strangers have left the compound, and only the team is left. They are all hanging out on the living room couch, winding down for the night.
“Val, I don’t think I can drink anymore. You have to hold down the fort,” Thor says to Valkyrie, then stumbles to sit on the couch but misses and sleeps on the floor. 
“Oh no, it looks like Thor is out, and there are two left. I’ll put some money on Y/N,” Tony says, waving his drink around. 
“I will say I am... I am… I am very impressed by you, Y/N, for holding your booze well. Thor is out, and I think I am next. Great job because now I found a new drinking buddy,” Valkyrie says, putting down her last drink of the night.
“YESSSS, I win!” Y/N cheers.
“Wait for a second; you still have to finish that last drink to prove to us that you can out-drink them,” Sam says, egging her on more.
“Deal” Y/N stands up with her cup and chugs the last drink with the team cheering her on. Y/N finishes her drink and puts it on the coffee table. Y/N then loses her balance and falls back onto Natasha and Wanda’s laps.
“I am alright! I just want to say that this is the best day ever, and I am happy to be a part of this team. This is my first time letting loose, and it is great. I am happy to make even more memories with you all,” Y/N says, and everyone claps to that.
“Sorry for landing on you two, but I wouldn’t have it any other way to land on the two most beautiful women in the world,” Y/N says drunkenly. Everyone was too drunk to hear what she said, but Natasha and Wanda weren’t. 
“Thank you, Y/N, but I think it is time to go to bed for you,” Natasha says, patting Y/N's thigh.
“No! I am having so much fun with my new friends,” Y/N whines and pouts at Natasha.
“Okay I can’t handle her pouting because she is too cute. Dorogoy, deal with this,” Natasha tells Wanda. Wanda gives Natasha a little smirk and looks down at Y/N.
“Dulceata, if you go to bed now, then Nat and I will tuck you in,” Wanda says sweetly.
“I have no idea what you just called me, but it sounded so sexy, and of course, I want to be tucked in by you two,” Y/N says, getting up and running into her room. Everyone turns to watch Y/N run into her room. Wanda and Natasha laugh and explain that she is going to bed now. Natasha and Wanda get up, bid the team goodnight, and head to Y/N’s room. When they get to Y/N’s room, Y/N struggles to remove her pants.
“I need help,” Y/N says, frustrated like a child, and lets out a big huff. Natasha and Wanda look at each other and smile. They go over and help Y/N out of her clothes into some sleeping clothes, tuck her into bed, then give her a goodnight kiss on the forehead.
Taglist:
@tigerlillyruiz @marvelwomen-simp @smromanoff @whitewidowsbite @cd-4848 @fxckmiup
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Thank you all so much <3 (long post incoming, thank you if you read it!)
Before I begin, YES I KNOW THIS IS SWEET AND SILLY BUT LET'S BE HONEST IS IT REALLY A POST FROM MY ACCOUNT IF IT'S NOT SAPPY AND SWEET AND CHEESY? PLUS IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, BUT ANYWAYS! IF YOU DON'T WANNA READ, IT'S A MILESTONE CELEBRATION POST WITH A DASH OF MY GRATITUDE FOR THIS ACCOUNT AND YALL AND ALSO SELFSHIPPING AS A WHOLE.
I normally don't take the time to mention numbers, especially in terms of followers or interaction. This is mostly because I'd rather focus on creating content both my followers and I enjoy, but today is a bit different. I woke up, checked my blog, and saw that there are 3000 people following me. For some, it may be silly to post about, but for me, it means the world.
When I began posting in January of last year, I had no idea if I was even going to keep this blog for long. Truthfully, I was still figuring out my place in selfshipping. I'd created f/o blogs in the past, but I never really kept them. This time, I'd promised myself that for once, I'd try to consistently post and create content that would bring me joy, whether anyone saw it or not. I added tags so that I could possibly find more people who felt the same way I did. I posted to not only create a space where I felt less alone in my personal bond with my f/os, but to also find others who may feel similarly. Over time, I've been able to create and post things that not only I enjoy, but that have also positively impacted others.
And while I didn't think I'd be on this blog for so long, I'm so glad I did. I am so glad I stuck with it, because there ar people who have followed me for my content and have enjoyed it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for letting me post and gush and get all excited about my f/os. Thank you for sharing and reblogging and interacting with my content, and telling me how much it means to you, even though you aren't obligated to. Thank you for making me feel so welcome and appreciated in this community. Thank you for each and every interaction. I cannot wait to keep creating new stuff, I can't wait to have more great experiences, but most of all, I can't wait to see what the future has in store.
If yall think I should do something special or have any ideas, let me know! Thank you all so much again.
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ha-youwish · 15 days
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youtube
this video basically explains why i’ve been more visibly black lately on tumblr.
like tumblr is not only extremely white its also very liberal aka white people who say “sorry poc people for being white” (and yes i said poc people like that bc that’s literally what yall sound like. people of color people, really?)
i dont know how to explain it in a better way that he does in the video, so i’m gonna add on to what it says with something ive been thinking about.
at first i wanted to give people space or comfort them when they realized racism was bad or whatever. but also i am so tired and frustrated seeing white liberal people say the most obnoxious shit with their full chest like with the conversation about rap a little bit ago. AND every time my “learn how to draw black people or die” post gets more notes it becomes an exercise in self restraint
like i get the effort and on some level i appreciate it. but if the second i express my frustration with this whole “i’m so self aware that i dont have any awareness of this thing guys look at me give me points” thing and you get mad at me for that? you look goofy. you look dumb to me and every other black person on this site. idgaf if youre not white if you arent black and you pull this shit you have the same underlying mindset and should check yourself
dont be mad at me because i dont want to be your teacher. dont be mad at me because i dont want to aunt jemaima you into unlearning your biases. dont be mad because i dont want to hold the hand of a you being a little white baby
being black on this site feels like standing on a rocking chair. i feel unbalanced, like i can’t criticize people even when they fuck up because they not technically racist. do you know how much i have to hold back when a white person tells me about the time they “found out about racism”? youre so fucking lucky i want to strangle you but im not because youre a good person, because youre “listening and learning” and typing in all caps on the internet about how fucked up the world is
tumblr is what you get when theres a bunch of leftist white people in one space, a bunch of people who are aware of social issues but dont know how to not make shit about them and always take shit personally. you all sound like my ex roommate who grew up mormon but lived in the gay dorms with me. you sound like the soccer team i was on who heard me make a joke about my skin color and laughed so hard and paraded me around to tell the joke to everyone else at the party.
fuck this idk how to end this post. you guys just sound fucking stupid
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