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#yall are truly the best :)

ghouljams · 11 months

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I’m about to straight up beat up tumblr for you. How dare they hide your damn gorgeous writing 😤 I’m gonna defend your honor by waging a one person war on the hellsite. Honestly I’ll probably loose but it’s the thought that counts ig😔✋

It is the thought that counts!! I appreciate the continued support as I wage my holy war to get my blog back in search results. I will say I have been getting a lot of requests during this so it doesn't feel like I've been banished as much as I thought it would!

#ghoul speaks #yall are truly the best

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kaeyachi · 3 months

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I'm seeing a lot of "Kaeya doesn't care for Khaenri'ah" for a while now in various socmed but like... this is the same dude that:

1. kept a portion of his father's notes about his clan when it was supposed to be burned

2. tested out the waters with Venti/Barbatos by putting a threat/warning in a letter

3. technically tried to run away from Dawn Winery to be able to go to Sumeru to learn more about Khaenri'ah when he was a kid

4. has his play performance imply that he is annoyed/mad about his birth father's actions BUT would like to keep both enemy and home nations safe and at peace

5. Avoids elaborating on Khaenri'ah but unafraid to say that that is his ancestry (in fact, he uses it to his benefit)

6. chose to keep using "Alberich" as a surname (he had his chances to change it, and no one could call him out, and yet he kept it? Again, what for?)

7. is torn with the idea of duty to his home nation and the love that Mond gave to him (character stories)

tbh I think Kaeya still cares for Khaenri'ah (whether it is because of his father's orders, or his own heart yearning for what could have been, or that he simply and genuinely loves his heritage). We still have Mona's voiceline saying that he has to make a choice someday, so clearly something is eating up his mind.

What I do theorize Kaeya is trying to do is to look for a different solution where he doesn't have to choose between Khaenri'ah and Mondstadt. That's what his Veluriyam Mirage vision is for- a mixture of the star of Khaenri'ah and the vision case of Mondstadt. In a realm where your dreams could be a reality, he decided to give himself both.

And honestly, could he possibly have both someday? Or does he need to realize that he can only have one?

#i like to post this idea regularly coz some of yall be forgetting that this man actually cares too much #kaeya #kaeya alberich #him avoiding Khaenri'ah talks could be taken as him not liking Khaenri'ah...#but then why was he doing literally everything else?#if he truly doesnt want anything to do with khaenriah #why keep his fathers notes? why keep using Alberich as a surname? why put a target on his back?#why cant he be hannah montana and have the best of both worlds???

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goldenalbum · 6 months

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i hope every shipper and solo stan who hates any member(s) of bts knows their faves would fucking despise them 💗 i wish yall bitches a very terrible night

#bts #lets not lie either its almost singularly maknae line shippers and solos #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #jikook #taekook #fr IMAGINE any of them seeing some of the shit yall disgusting fucks say about their BEST FRIENDS #truly delusional if u think they would want anything to do w u #discourse #el dot txt

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brutal-nemesis · 16 days

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E&T: Deep in the Bowels of Gluttony

I am forcing more CAVE WHUMP into your enclosure (with an added dash of inspiration from my favorite national park that I can never visit ✨)

Suggested Vibe: Duma’s Scourge from Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (youtube)

←Previous - Masterlist

Ingredients: a lot of gore. eating is involved in the goriness if you couldn’t tell. it is also very gross. Wow! Oh and there is a little bit of burning

By the time Erebus finished crying, his hand had grown back.

He hadn’t even realized it at first, too caught up with gut-wrenching sobs to be aware of anything else besides how much his head hurt, how hard it was to breathe, how terrified he was to be in this strange place all alone, how he might never make it back home, or even back to his cell, how hopeless he felt, how-how-And then he’d noticed the stump of his left hand, no longer ending in a jagged tear, little strings of skin dangling off of it, but a-it was growing, it had to be, those little white nubs poking out of the mass of muscle had to be the bones of his hand, bones that had definitely been…Before he knew it he was crying in earnest again, his body’s sudden strange capability to repair itself overshadowed by the trauma of the past hour, fear and exhaustion replacing awe and relief, because even if he could heal, it didn’t change the fact that he was stuck here, now saddled with the possibility that not even death could set him free.

If there was one good thing about this world, it was the fact that he was more alone than he’d ever been, and no one knocked on the door to interrupt his crying, no one commented on the redness of his eyes or asked him if he was okay too soon after he’d started to calm down. He caught his breath slowly, peacefully, washing the tears off his face using the fresh water from one of the pools near the sea, scrubbing the dried blood from his perfectly healed arm, revealing a ring of scar tissue around his wrist. The thought that neither of these hands were the ones he was born with almost sent him into another spiral, but he shook his head and put it out of his mind. That was enough for today.

Today…Frowning, he looked up at the sky. Its blackness hadn’t changed in the slightest since he’d arrived here, and something told him it wouldn’t anytime soon. Even back in the windowless cell, he’d had meals and Neteri’s visits to help him keep track of the passage of time, but now there was just…nothing. It was all down to whatever cycle of waking and sleeping he fell into, and given how tired he was now, he was ready to get that started.

Walking back to his pack, left at the base of the cliffs, he noticed his leg was no longer in pain, either. Once he arrived, he pulled the knife out and used it to slice the stitches still woven through his flesh, wincing a bit as he pulled the thread out. The holes left behind healed quickly enough that he could ignore them and busy himself finding a good place to lay his bedroll for the…night? For now.

He ended up settling down along the cliffside, too afraid to lie out in the open despite how quiet it was here, and it wasn’t long before his exhausted body gave in to sleep.

When Erebus woke up, the sky was the same empty black as before, and it was impossible to tell how long he’d slept for, but he felt rested enough despite the circumstances. So now he was just supposed to…wander until he found something? He considered flying to get a better idea of what was around, but he decided it would be better to save his strength for the next fight. Since crossing the sea was out of the question, he headed back into the rocky maze he’d first arrived in. Eventually, he found himself at the entrance to a cave, a gaping hole in the side of the mountain rising even higher than the cliffs around him.

If the demons were tied to elements like their counterparts, the dragons, then whatever one was tied to the element of earth was definitely in that cave. His instincts screamed at him not to go into the dark, cramped space where his wings likely would be more of a hindrance than a help, but if he was going to get out of this place, then he’d have to go in eventually. So best to get it over with while he was here.

Erebus had never been inside of a cave, but he’d heard about how beautiful they could be, and…how dangerous. But he’d be okay. He could heal, for some reason. He’d be fine. He could handle this. He had to.

Burying his doubts, Erebus headed inside the cave, almost immediately tripping over a small, rounded protrusion of stone. They littered the ground, and the ceiling, too, their lengths varying. He’d have to take care to avoid them, then.

Soon enough, though, the ground began to slope downwards, and the dim gray light streaming in from the cave’s entrance began to fade, not enough for even his new eyes to see with. It wasn’t long before he was stumbling along in the dark, unsure how much progress he was making, or if he was even headed in the right direction. He could be a couple steps away from a dead end, for all he knew. Or even a cl-At that moment, Erebus’s boot caught on a rock, his desperate grasps for something to catch himself on meeting empty air, and now he was falling, spinning, bouncing off the uneven stone, everything was slippery enough to slide out of his grasp but hard enough to break his bones, faster and faster until-

Cold. Deep cold, water, he was underwater, he had to get to the surface, had to find it in this spinning dark void, no way to tell which way is up, which way is death, swimming flailing reaching-his hand broke the surface, and he worked his way up desperately, his sodden clothes and heavy sword making it difficult, but he made it, he breathed, he coughed, he dragged himself out and laid on the bumpy stone next to the water’s edge, panting as his body throbbed and stung with a hundred cuts and bruises. Of course he hurt himself before even finding the demon. Of course. If only he had some way to know if he was even going in the right direction, but no, he was just supposed to stumble around in the dark.

One of his horns hurt, and upon poking at it gently, he found that the tip had broken off, exposing the tender flesh inside. Not like they served any purpose, besides telling him where…wait. What he wanted most was to get out of here and go home. To get out of here, he’d have to fight all the demons. Starting with the one hidden somewhere in this cave. So, by that logic, what he wanted most was to find the demon in these caves. He closed his eyes, not that it changed anything, and drilled that thought into his head. He needed to find that demon. Wanted to. Had to.

Erebus couldn’t help but smile as his horns started to tingle ever-so-slightly.

It took some time to get used to navigating the cave based on the feeling in his horns. The changes in sensation were rather subtle, so it was difficult to tell immediately after changing course if he was heading the right way. It would have been much easier if he could take a direct path, but the twists and turns of the cave forced him to switch directions constantly, sometimes leading him to dead ends or passages he was too large to squeeze through. Progress was slow, but he was making progress, he was, the tingling was stronger now, his scrapes and bruises from his fall earlier had healed, and his clothes were beginning to dry, despite the cave air being rather cool.

Well, now that he thought about it, the air had grown warmer than when he’d first entered. He’d been so freezing from his wet clothes that he hadn’t realized it until now, but it was definitely getting warmer. That had to be a good thing, right? It wasn’t getting any lighter, unfortunately, so he was still stuck feeling his way along through the darkness, nothing but the tingling sensation in his horns to guide him, but at least he wasn’t shivering as much anymore.

It was getting warmer and warmer, hot now, and humid, the stickiness of the air reminding him of summers back home. Were caves supposed to be this hot? He’d been grateful for the warmth at first, but now he was sweating profusely, the thick, moist air making it somewhat difficult to breathe as he clambered up slopes and squeezed through small gaps, the feeling in his horns growing so intense he was starting to get a headache, made even worse by the slightly rotten smell that was starting to permeate the air.

Erebus stopped at the edge of some sort of drop-off. It was impossible to tell how far down it went, only that it was longer than his arm. He’d been scared of this, of having to fly while blind. Out of breath, he sat to rest for a moment, letting the slight breeze cool him off a tiny bit, wishing it didn’t smell so rancid.

Wait…breeze?

The air was moving, pulsing past him in a hot wave, and then a cooler gust in the opposite direction. It was rhythmic, over and over, back and forth, in and…in and out.

Breathing. It was breathing.

If-if Erebus could feel its breathing, and the intense heat from its body, its stench, then it must be close, just off that ledge maybe, after all this time wandering around in the dark he’d finally found the next demon. With renewed energy, he stood and drew his sword. He’d have to approach this carefully, making sure he didn’t fly straight into the wall instead of hitting his target. After waving his hand over his head and not feeling anything above him, Erebus carefully took flight. It was difficult to move so slowly in the air, especially as he started to head down, but he didn’t want to risk falling who knows how far and landing on who knows what.

Feeling his feet catch on something, he tried to land, but the ground beneath was slippery and almost gave way beneath him, causing him to fall for the second time today. Thankfully, he landed on something soft, though it was weirdly wet and sort of slimy, like…Erebus cried out and scurried back, but everything he touched was the same, squishy and warm and smooth and…and…It was flesh. All around him. He-he’d somehow flown into the demon’s mouth, he must have, its breath was rushing by him with even more force now, the nauseating scent of rot all around him. He had to get out. He just had to fly up. He could do this. He’d be fine.

But…where was his sword?

He’d dropped it in his panic, like an idiot, and now he needed to find it. He wouldn’t stand a chance against the demons without it, and then he’d never be able to go home, never see another person again, he couldn’t accept that, he had to calm down, had to focus. He wanted that sword more than anything. It was his way out.

His stomach sank when his horns told him his sword was below him.

There wasn’t any choice but to fall further into the belly of the beast in order to kill it.

He took his time lowering himself, but it was more difficult than before. The heat was making his head throb, not to mention the toll all this flying was taking on him. Being unable to glide was putting a lot more strain on his wings than he’d realized, and though he couldn’t quite feel it through the sheen of sweat covering his face, he tasted the blood dripping out of his nose. By the time the buzzing in his horns peaked and his hand wrapped around the cool hilt of the sword, the world was starting to spin, and he all but collapsed next to the blade, which had buried itself partway in the fleshy ground.

Erebus didn’t know if he had the energy to stand. The heat and all of that careful flying had sapped all of his strength, leaving him sprawled on the hot, soft flesh of the demon’s insides. Was this it? Was he just stuck here until he fell further and ended up digested? The healing he had for some reason was slow, probably too slow to keep up with stomach acid. He breathed in deeply as the slightly cooler air coming in rushed past him, trying to calm himself down. The demon’s breaths were deep and long, so they were difficult for Erebus to match perfectly, but he tried anyway, the less rancid-smelling air coming in making him feel a little better somehow. But why would…memories of dust, Neteri’s forehead against his, the puff of her breath against his cheeks. Sharing breath. He was sharing breath with this huge demon, gaining a little of its life force as he did so.

Once he felt well enough to stand, he did so, holding onto his sword for support. He could do this. After bracing himself as best as he could, he started to pull, wincing at the awful squelching sound the blade made as it slid out of the flesh it was buried in. It came out with a sickening pop, squirting what Erebus could only assume was blood all over him. Some of it even landed in his mouth, and it…it tasted good. Really good, like a rich, meaty stew.

His empty stomach started to growl.

This was a demon. Not a person.

He hadn’t eaten in over a day.

No one would ever know.

He needed energy.

Hands shaking, he pulled out his knife.

Just a little bit.

It was warm, wet, chewy, almost rubbery, the texture making him gag slightly, but he didn’t care, not when it tasted this good, buttery and savory, little hints of spice dancing through it, shifting from one flavor to another, and he was powerless to stop, grabbing more and slicing it off, shoving it in his mouth before he’d even finished chewing the last bite, his hands and face slick with that delicious blood, the perfect sauce to go with his meat, the fingers on his right hand had grown claws at some point, and now he was tearing away at the walls with his hand, ripping chunks off with his teeth, continuing to slice and shred long after he’d eaten his fill, even as the ground below started to shake, a guttural roar drowning out the sounds of flesh tearing and blood dripping, the force of it sending Erebus to the ground, snapping him out of whatever trance he’d been in.

What…what had he just done?

How could he be sure there wasn’t anyone else out there in the blackness?

He could feel the ghosts of his parents watching him, watching their son turn into the monster he looked like.

He had to get out of here.

The walls shifted and pulsed as the demon’s breath sped up, roars and moans sounding out so loudly around him it made his head hurt. Its mouth might be closed now, trapping him inside. He’d have to find another way. Or just…make his own.

A large section of one of the walls had already been ravaged, cut and torn away during his frenzied eating, so he resumed work on it, slicing away chunks with his sword now, tossing them to the side instead of bringing them to his mouth. Progress was faster when he could focus, but it was almost impossible to tell how far he’d come, how much he’d carved away, how close he was to breaking through the skin. He came across a more rubbery section and ended up having to almost saw away at it, blood spurting all over him as he went, as if he wasn’t already covered in it. How whole body felt so sticky and sweaty and gross, and all he could think about was washing off somehow after he got out of here.

Blood was flowing out steadily now, coming out with more and more force, and soon enough it was all Erebus could do to hold onto his sword, his anchor buried in the fleshy wall, praying he wouldn’t get swept away by the jet of hot, sticky, delicious-smelling blood. H-he must’ve cut into a major blood vessel. Those shot blood out like crazy, from what he remembered. Maybe this would be enough to kill the demon? Then he’d just be…trapped inside its corpse. For now, it was still very much alive, its roars and moans starting to get louder, more desperate.

All of a sudden, the ground beneath him lurched, and Erebus’s sword slipped out of the cut it was in, sending him tumbling backwards, the river of blood sweeping him away before he could try to stand up, stab the floor, do anything to save himself, but he had to, he couldn’t fall any further down, couldn’t lose the tunnel he’d carved out in this sweltering blackness, couldn’t sink into the sea of blood and digestive acid that was likely waiting for him below, he had to stop somehow, the sword was too long, his wings couldn’t generate lift, nothing to do but desperately scratch at the slippery ground below, dig his claws in, deeper, deeper, deeper, hold on, arm trembling with the effort, he couldn’t afford to let go, to fall, the blood was coming with less force now, the tremors not as frequent, just a little bit longer until…

The great beast fell silent, fell still, its blood merely trickling by now, dripping in imitation of the water in the cave surrounding it.

Erebus dragged himself to his feet, coughing up blood. He’d tried to keep his mouth closed during the whole ordeal, but some had still made its way in. Was the demon actually dead? It was hard to tell for sure, but he supposed it didn’t matter. He had to get out of here regardless, and any other escape route besides his tunnel was out of the question. Nothing to do but resume work, then, and hope he could get out of here soon.

Time crawled by as Erebus hacked away at the wall, and just when he was starting to think he wasn’t headed towards the surface of this thing’s body, his sword met with a different sort of resistance than before. It wasn’t like the blood vessel, more stretchy and tough, but he was pretty sure he was able to poke through, and soon enough he’d made a gap large enough for him to squeeze through. He didn’t realize how hot it’d been in there until he was sitting outside it, the cave air unbelievably refreshing after being swallowed up by that rancid heat.

After feeling around a bit, Erebus decided he must be on the demon’s back or something. The slope down was pretty steep, enough that he wasn’t sure he could walk down effectively in the dark. His wings were still exhausted from flying earlier, so…scooting down very carefully it was. For the first time today, he was able to move downwards at a reasonable pace, not having to be careful of random rocks jutting out of the floor or ceiling. He was starting to get a bit excited to leave these caves and be able to see again. The water in the sloth demon’s domain would be perfect for washing all of this blood off of him, and there were few things he loved more than feeling clean. Already, he was starting to realize everything he’d taken for granted in his previous captivity.

He’d taken light for granted, too, and the moment he saw it, the moment he could see at all, he teared up a bit, but that might have just been because it was bright. Navigating the rest of the way down the demon’s body was much easier now that he could see, and it wasn’t long before he was back on solid ground, nearly running towards the cave exit. Finally.

The dark, starless sky was a welcome sight, almost as beautiful to him as the small pools of water a little ways away. He was lucky this exit dumped him out closer to the water than the entrance he’d originally gone through had been. Curious, Erebus looked down at himself, and couldn’t help but wince in disgust. He was covered from head to toe in blood, most of it dried to a brownish-red, cracking a bit around his joints, little pieces of the demon’s flesh caked on here and there. His hair was sticky and matted with it, and the coppery, still tempting tang of it was all he could smell and taste. He’d never been so revoltingly filthy, and he was secretly glad no one was here to see it.

It was a quick walk to the nearest pool of water, and while it looked a bit different than the other little pools from before, he paid it no mind. Water was water. He fell to his knees in front of it and stuck his hands in, ready to-HOT! Erebus pulled his hands out of the fiery water, screaming as they burned so intensely he could feel it in his very bones. All he could do was lie on his side and wait for them to heal, tears streaming from his eyes as he wailed. None of the water in the sloth demon’s domain had even been warm, so why was it nearly boiling all of a sudden? Unless he wasn’t…

“You really wanted to make a good first impression on me, didn’t you, intruder?”

Blinking away tears, Erebus looked in the direction of the familiar voice, his blood running cold when he saw who had spoken.

It was Shiori.

Tags: @dramaticcollapse @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @galaxywhump @as-a-matter-of-whump

@mnmlover2002 @tears-and-lilies @yet-another-heathen @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @starnight-whump

@unicornscotty @thebewilderer @kixngiggles @itallstartedwithharry @inky-whump

@redstainedsocks @lonesome--hunter @his-unspoken-words @susiequaz12 @its-mysweetlittlesecret-blog

@whumpasaurus101 @patheticlittleguy @jadeocean46910 @whumpinggrounds @pumpkin-spice-whump

@suspicious-whumping-egg @befuddled-calico-whump @whump-in-the-closet @pumpkinsncoffee @aryox

#i wrote something #erebus & terror #erebus #vorath #whump #whump writing #gore #heavy gore #nonhuman whumpee #sorry erebus you get that tag now #suck it #uh yeah so. hope you enjoyed.#i love Cave i am sad i couldnt describe how pretty it looks :( maybe another time #and i already wrote guy stumbles around lost in a cave in complete darkness so ofc it was a little more than that <3 #toss him into the mystery flesh pit!!#yeah i cant visit my favorite national park because its not REAL which is probably for the best ig 🙄#i will make erebus go into the meat tunnel instead and since he was very hungry he uh. mmmmmm yummy walls #gluttony demons taste super delicious to other gluttony demons so that is why he was having a gourmet experience #gluttony demons usually engage in nonfatal cannibalism if they encounter each other it is truly a lovely time #yeah i covered that man in blood he is the filthiest he's ever been probably hehe #maybe he will finally get to take a bath!!#sorry abt the cliffhanger BUT the next chapter has been mostly written for years so it shouldnt take me that long to get out #so hopefully yall wont be waiting for months lmao

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uselessnbee · 1 year

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okay i don't want to be THAT bitch but if El calls out Mike on his bullshit in s5 how the love confession was shit and untrue i do kinda want Mike to turn around and be like "okay well what do you love me for?" because let's be real girl would not have an answer for that 💀

and maybe it would be good to be the last thing that would make her go oh i've never loved him that way either

like yes she totally should throw everything in Mike's face cause she deserves so much better but let's not pretend like she's a good girlfriend to him and it's just Mike being the problem

this fucker has been depressed and struggling for months and like did she ever even ask how is he doing? not her fault but the fact that Mike has been struggling and never once thought about talking to El because he doesn't feel like he can be vulnerable with her? the fact that he pretends he's someone he's not because he feels like she wouldn't want him for who he is? seriously no hate to El i love her to bits and yes Mike is bigger asshole in this but we really need to stop acting like El is perfect and can do no wrong

and that one time in s4 when Mike actually tried to be vulnerable with her and let her know that he understands because he's been bullied his whole life and she just invalidates his feelings and completely dismisses him? i do understand her pov and what she meant but as someone who's also been bullied and have so many people invalidate my feelings and how it affected me and still affects me to this day all the time it really hurt to hear it. the way Mike's feelings are constantly being invalidated and dismissed by both the characters in the show and this fandom just because "others have it worse" really disgusts me

anyways i really just want to point out that this is a relationship. there are two people in this relationship and it all goes both ways. it's not just Mike being an asshole friend and a shitty boyfriend. El isn't really a great girlfriend either and when they were just hanging out together the whole summer it is on El too. they're both just kids trying to do their best and making mistakes we can acknowledge that both of them make some really questionable things so they both can grow and learn

#also isn't it ridiculous that every time we say anything like this about El we need to clarify how nothing is her fault #and she isn't in the wrong at all? like if we can call out Mike or Nancy or anyone else on their bullshit #without acting like they never did anything wrong we should be able to do that with El too #El is a flawed character as well it doesn't mean that we hate her she's trying her best just like everyone else and that's why we love her #but this fandom truly makes her into this perfect angel that can never do anything even remotely wrong and it's annoying #no one in that show is perfect and we need to talk about it more how human they all are #characters don't need to be perfect in order to be loved just like people don't need to be perfect in order to be loved #let us have flawed characters and let us talk about it #their mistakes are part of who they are and their journey let them make them and let them learn from them #and that applies to El too not just Mike thank you for coming to my ted talk #mike wheeler #byler #anti milkvan #not tagging el cause her fans would burn me alive #blue's 'Mike's extreme defender' ramblings #<- finally made a tag for my mike ramblings so if any of yall don't want to see it just block it i know i am annoying hah

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vapolis · 5 months

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t. he. with his fingers. h. hooooooo. i am a child of g-d i have no unholy thoughts i have none whatsoever that did not just make me clinch the stupid fidget toy i had in hard hard enough for it to hurt im normal i am pure and innocent and jax does absolutely nothing to me (they say, like a liar) if just this snippet of ur nsfw scenes is that good i think ur gonna kill me gonna be so real

jax knows how to fuck 😳

for real though that is so flattering!! your reaction that is. I've primarily been writing nsfw scenes in my time so Be Ready

#the real struggle for me is to come up w plot #if i had written a nsfvv IF yall yaaaaaallll that would have already been done ngl #one of my best friends called some of it spank bank material #truly memorable for me #asks

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jinxybri · 23 days

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so... i've been having thoughts about Forgotten Stars again.

i re-read forgotten stars a lot. i re-read all of my writings but especially forgotten….

there are a few chapters in forgotten that mean so much to me, that i managed to write out so brilliantly (at least to my standards) that portray what i wanted them to.

this'll have spoilers for the current version of forgotten stars so be wary. (note: i will rewrite forgotten stars at some point. that point is not today. not yet :] )

chapter 7 when Ocie finally finds out about Rae not remembering himself or his friends. how she breaks down, how the weather outside the library also breaks with her and how she fears what she is feeling because she doesn't know the extent of her powers.

chapter 9 where Athena tells Icarus about Rae and especially how they open up about how much it hurts them that the uncle they know is gone and how they dont know how to fix it

chapter 11 is definitely my top 3 with how i wrote how Rae himself is struggling with himself. how things feel familiar and yet he doesnt know why. how he sees how much effort Athena is putting into all this and yet… he can't help. and then he goes to the portal and there is nothing. and then he panics and runs and runs until he no longer breathes and crashes. how he feels utterly useless cause he can't help someone he knows he cares about and yet the feelings feel false because he doesn't know why he has them.

chapter 12 is a goodie too cause it shows Caspian, struggling with everything - with feeling lost, with Rae, with Momboo.

chapter 14 is an another top 3 for me and it has my favourite beginning… which is just Soup. how I managed to write about Rae's inner thoughts and how everything felt like home and yet… at the same time it felt like the furthest thing from it. how talking with Caspian felt so familiar, how laying in that bed and sitting on that couch he felt at home and yet… he couldn't justify staying.

chapter 15 perfectly shows Athena's inner thoughts with how things arent progressing enough or fast enough for them and how they struggle with that. and then Rae's pov of him choosing to fight for her, choosing to stay and focus on Athena and Ocie instead of chasing after the feelings of home elsewhere

and then finally chapter 19. one of my favourite chapters. where Athena finally hits a boiling point and his powers activate and he has no control over them. how she scares both of his uncles and surprises the god of creation and then finds solace in how Rae cares for them. how they choose to fight for him, too.

guys if you cant tell, forgotten stars means so much more to me than just a fable fic. in its core, yes, its a fanfic and yes its about premade characters but i've put so much into it. i continue to pour my thoughts into it despite not having worked on it for months now. how i keep thinking of how to better guide the story and how many more ideas i have.

#plesae just be patient with me #i promise itll be worth it #ill probably start working on forgotten stars after i finish this one shot and get further into tangled au #gods i need to work on the tangled au again #i truly hope that by the time i manage to post my things there's still going to be people excited about them #i am truly sorry things have taken me so long #life has simply thrown so many obstacles at me #i am doing my best i promise #for now yall get small analyses on tumblr and wips on the discord whenever i work on things #forgotten stars #bee's writing tag #fable smp #fablesmp #icarus morningstar #rae morningstar #fablesmpblr

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halforcdad · 2 years

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Really loving how the show is exploring the beginning of Kate and Lucy's relationship and all the insecurities that still lurk in the shadows of honeymoon bliss. There's a lot to love in 2x02:

Kate blurting out, “I want to tell my boss we’re dating,” and Lucy being completely thrown off. It’s Kate’s version of “I want to be intimate,” and Lucy pointing at the coffee shop and going, “Here???”

Lucy being a supportive, stabilizing force for Kate only for us to find out she's equally as freaked out and worried later in her own time (says it to Jesse and then, as pointed out very nicely here, she punches her girlfriend's boss's arm then tries to recover by nervously complimenting his corny apron).

"No, no it's not fine, Lucy... You make it look so easy," is giving "You're always doing nice things for me... I just wanted to show my appreciation." (Both of them feeling like they're not doing enough/doing it as well as the other and trying to do something big to make sure they're reciprocating properly, resulting in them making "mistakes" they feel the need to apologize for.)

2x02 is likely an intentional callback/parallel to 1x07 to show how far they've come:

Kate hesitantly whispering in a dark corner about being compartmented after Lucy invited her out in front of people vs. Kate, in public, outright saying she wants to introduce Lucy to her boss and coworkers and inviting her to the barbeque (and wanting Lucy's input)

Lucy being all hush-hush with Ernie in the empty hallway vs. Lucy rambling loudly to Jesse about her girlfriend possibly losing her position because of conflict of interest concerns while walking down that same hallway (and then the bullpen) now full of coworkers

Kate not wanting anyone at work, especially Lucy’s team, to find out about them (”Ernie’s not people”) vs. Kate jumping at the chance to ask Jesse for advice despite him giving her an out (in general, Jesse, who labelled Kate 'the Mean Girl™️' in the pilot, now watching her lament over her own incompetence because of a silly misunderstanding all while making silly faces and asking him how to not piss off his teammate/little sister/friend)

"You make it look so easy." "We don't have to do this today." "No, no, I want to, it's just—it's a lot for me,"

is a less combative version of,

"I'm trying to do this your way, you know, be all expressive and smiley, it's just—it's hard for me to be-" "Human?" "I'm trying here, Lucy."

They're both self-deprecating scenes for Kate. She admits she's embarrassed by herself in 1x07 and we see it in 2x02 after she confesses that this is the first time she's ever introduced a girlfriend to her coworkers. In 1x07, it's like Kate's begging Lucy to see her and understand her. In 2x02, it feels more like deep shame (especially when she looks down at "It's a lot for me") over disappointing and failing Lucy again after saying she’d do things differently this time. Lucy, who’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met, who’s crazy about her, who’s still trying to reassure her when Kate can’t even do something as simple as correct her boss when he assumes she’s dating a guy.

A big difference is that in one, Kate knows she hurt Lucy and is delivering a necessary apology after a disagreement and in the other, Kate thinks she’s hurt Lucy, even though Lucy's tells her it's fine. Kate still insists that it's not, is quick to say “it’s my fault”, and is stressing out big time over a small mistake. It also feels like the difference between the two Kacy scenes is this feeling of Kate “has to” vs. Kate “wants to”. S1 Kate is sharing because she messed up and is trying to cling onto the potential this relationship has and S2 Kate already knows the pain of losing Lucy to her own bad choices and wants to be better (1x07 ends with Kate in that state because she was prompted, but in 2x02 she starts the episode already having decided on her own that she wants to involve Lucy).

In 1x07, Lucy’s hurt and upset, so even when Kate’s being vulnerable (after Lucy offered up some vulnerability first) and turning her assumptions on their head, she lashes out. Ernie’s advice earlier in the episode is light-hearted ribbing, but also coated in the fact that maybe Lucy was wrong to make assumptions from her own insecurities. She can’t be sympathetic towards Kate just yet. Eventually, she recognizes the effort Kate’s putting in and agrees to terms that’ll make her the most comfortable. Kate’s asking for a lot of things in this scene: forgiveness, understanding, another chance, time.

In 2x02, Lucy can clearly see Kate's distress and realizes the big leap Kate's trying to make for her, for them. Sees the workplace stakes 1x07 Kate might have been worried about and spirals a little too before Jesse course-corrects her. When Kate admits how new this type of milestone is for her, despite it being something Lucy's wanted since s1, she prioritizes Kate's comfort and says they don't have to do this today. It's only when Kate makes it absolutely clear that this is something she wants to do, something they both want, that Lucy switches the type of support she offers.

Kate puts herself out there, lets herself be vulnerable, and Lucy meets her halfway: in 1x07 when she agrees to being a secret and in 2x02 when she's supporting Kate's decision to be transparent and open about them.

The first is a compromise in the dark, in the closed-door break room tucked in the corner of the office, after their coworkers have gone home. Lucy flirts and teases, but she walks away, leaving Kate to chase after her. It obviously means a lot to both of them, but they don't say that out loud, instead choosing to be all coy about it and deflecting. They probably spend the night together, Kate showing her appreciation in the comfort of her own home.

The second is a reminder and a promise that Kate isn't alone anymore because they're in a serious, committed relationship. Lucy reaches out, leaves no room for doubt as she links their hands together, and tells Kate earnestly that she's right there by her side, that she's here to stay no matter what. In the light of day, out in the open, on their way to meet Kate's coworkers. Then, she walks with her into the bbq, stands by her the whole time, and uses that Lucy Tara charm on everyone. And Kate repays all that by being brave, by being openly sweet, loving, and affectionate with Lucy in front of everyone.

#ncis hawaii #ncis hawai'i #kacy #lucy tara #kate whistler #does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes #im choosing to see subtext in 'you make it look so easy' dont fight me ill win #im gonna lose my mind if i think any harder about these two eps #theres layers to this!#these episodes are best friends do not separate them #im now obsessed with 2x02 all the kacy conversations + jesse were so good #these two are truly so so cute but also so so stupid how do you not see how in love yall are #like whistler of course lucy is crazy for you shes been down to clown since the beginning #and lucy the woman who grovelled at ur feet and serenaded u isnt going to be scared away by all you can eat breakfast buffet #i love curtis but he really was there in the thick of it for 1x20 and didnt get a gay vibe at all from either lucy or whistler #truly the type of straight man who would unironically wear a flavorful bbq ingester apron and obsess over tongs #can you tell 1x07 is one of my favorite s1 episodes

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