#the fact that they said that they just didn’t know what else to do with Izzy’s arc so dying was the best conclusion is INSANE to me
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What Happens in the Shadows
Title: What Happens in the Shadows
Pairing: Alastor x reader
Word Count: ~5,155
In which Mimzy has suspicions about Alastor’s feelings towards the reader, and plans to use them to her advantage.
A/N: Part 4 of my Never and Always series
Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING (attempted assault), angst, fluff
Mimzy was a lot of things. She was loud, she was brash, she was showy, and she was bold. She was also, however, good at picking up a scent. Whether it was a good deal to be made, money to be earned, or an advantage to be won, Mimzy was there.
This usually led to one of two things.
One, she would get too confident, pushing herself into a corner when the tables inevitably turned against her, leaving her scrambling to the closest ally she had as a defense.
The second option was much more rare, when she would take her time, allowing herself to gather enough facts to truly know a demon’s weaknesses before pouncing and closing a deal. Though it didn’t happen often, those that did manage to fall under Mimzy’s control were there for eternity, serving and slaving away as she ever so slowly gathered more power.
Mimzy was ever so hungry for power, after all, even if she was bad at obtaining it.
Which is why, when she witnessed the small spectacle at her club between her dear friend Alastor and a lowly sinner who had done nothing but dance with a woman, the gears in her head had started to turn.
She had never mentioned the incident to anyone else, of course. She wasn’t stupid. She knew that the Radio Demon would have her head if she so much as breathed a word of it.
But he couldn’t stop her from thinking. He couldn’t stop her from watching. He couldn’t stop her from noticing. And he most definitely couldn’t stop her from coming.
~~~
“Ya think ya boyfriend would let mine go if you asked nicely?”
You flushed and looked away. “Alastor is not my boyfriend.”
Angel Dust winked over at you. “Uh-huh, sure. Whateva ya say, dollface.”
“He’s not,” you insisted. “We’re just friends.”
From his place behind the hotel bar, Husk put down the cup he was cleaning and looked up at you. “You and Angel are ‘just friends’. You and me? Just friends. You and Alastor?” He shook his head, picking up a new cup as he looked over at you with an expression of vague concern. “You’re more than that.”
“Ha!” Angel said as he pointed over at Husk in triumph.
You could feel embarrassment pooling into your stomach. “You’re both wrong. Al doesn’t-” you struggled to find the words. “Al doesn’t like anyone that way,” you said hesitantly. “And I know for a fact that he doesn’t like me that way. He just feels responsible for me now, that’s all.”
Husk huffed lightly, his eyes narrowing. “Alastor’s never felt responsible for anyone in his life. Not for the souls he’s collected, and definitely not for a sinner that doesn’t owe him any more than the dirt on her shoes.”
You looked away. “I do owe him,” you muttered. “He saved my life.”
Angel laughed forcefully. “That was his choice, toots. You don’t owe him nothin’, ya hear me?” He glanced over at you, his expression bordering on desperation as he searched your eyes.
Maybe you didn’t agree, but it wouldn’t do anybody any good to have Angel and Husk worrying over you with each passing moment while you stubbornly believed that Alastor was a good man who had earned your trust long ago.
So instead, you nodded, smiling softly. “I know.”
Angel nodded firmly, but the concern in his eyes was still overwhelmingly present.
You couldn’t blame him, of course, but you wished with all of your undead heart that the three most important people in your life would just get along. Not that it would ever happen while Alastor held Husk’s soul.
You let out a long exhale before you clapped your hands together and smiled over at the hotel’s bartender. “Alright, enough of that.”
Angel Dust’s expression relaxed as he turned to Husk as well. “She’s right. Pour me a drink.”
Husk returned your grin with one of his own, pouring the three of you a glass and sliding yours over.
The three of you sat in silence for a moment, staring down at your drinks as you thought. You couldn’t say exactly what was going on in Husk and Angel’s heads, but you knew that you personally were thinking about a specific radio-themed Overlord.
You hadn’t seen Alastor since the two of you had danced together in your bedroom a few days prior. It made sense that you hadn’t seen him the day after, of course. It was your day with Angel, and Alastor would love nothing less than to get involved in your makeover session.
The days after that though, were different. Normally, you’d at least catch a glimpse of the demon before he left the hotel to run his radio show or do whatever else Overlords did in their free time. If you weren’t able to catch him before he left, he would always drop by the hotel a little later on, even if just for a moment. But no matter what, he would always stop by your room at the end of the day, and the two of you would just talk.
But now, you hadn’t seen or heard from Alastor in days. You weren’t worried, per say. You knew he was more than capable of taking care of himself. You did miss him, though, and you would be lying if you said that you weren’t looking forward to your next evening conversation.
You drummed your hands lightly on the counter before shifting off of your barstool. It wasn’t likely that Alastor had finally stopped by, but it wouldn’t hurt to check. “I think I’m going to turn in for the night.”
Angel Dust quirked an eyebrow at you playfully. “Sure thing, toots. Just goin’ to bed, nothin’ to do with Smiles at all, right?”
You blushed and turned away, walking towards the staircase leading up to your room. “Goodnight.”
“Have fun,” Angel called up after you as you climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway to your room as quickly as possible.
You breathed a deep sigh of relief when you were able to reach your bedroom without any more comments from Angel. Though, that was probably courtesy of Husk. You made a mental note to thank him in the morning.
You closed your door behind you and leaned against it with a sigh.
Something flitted across your vision. You jerked back.
The object popped up in front of you, causing you to bite back a scream before you recognized it as Alastor’s shadow.
You huffed in annoyance and pushed away from your door, walking around the shadow and making your way to your bed before plopping yourself down. “That was absolutely unnecessary,” you said.
The shadow only smiled, quickly weaving its way over to sit beside you. It took your hand and raised it, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
You blushed. “Fine, I forgive you,” you said with a giggle.
The shadow’s smile broadened, using its other hand to gently put its claws to your throat as your laughter slowed.
“Not that I don’t love to see you,” you said as your eyes took a quick scan of your room. “But where’s Alastor?”
The shadow made a small noise before reaching back and pulling a note off of your nightstand. It turned your hand over to place the folded piece of paper in your palm.
You pulled your hand back and opened the note, your eyes skimming over it as you tried to keep your heart from sinking.
It was a short note, and straight to the point. Alastor wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel that night due to some unfinished business with gaining new territory. He didn’t know when he’d be back. He wished you a good night.
You folded the note again and placed it in between yourself and the shadow. “It’s alright,” you said, forcing a smile on your face. “I understand.”
But the shadow’s smile had lessened significantly, and it stared at you almost expectantly.
“I’m fine, really,” you insisted. “I know he’s busy. I’m just glad he’s okay.”
The shadow looked unconvinced. But, you noticed with disappointment, its eyes had started to flicker back to your window.
“You need to go,” you said. It wasn’t a question.
The shadow looked back at you regretfully.
You reached out and placed your hands on its cheeks, lowering its head until your foreheads touched. “I’ll be okay,” you said quietly. “I promise.”
You released it and moved back.
The shadow caught your hands and pulled you back in, pressing a kiss to each of your palms before pressing them to its chest where its beating heart would have been. It gave you one last long look before it released you and melted back into the shadows, disappearing out your window.
You stared after it for a moment. Part of you wished that it had been Alastor who had come into your room and kissed your palms goodnight. The other, less selfish part of you knew that he had done the best that he could, and you appreciated it more than words could say.
“Don’t worry, he’s always like this,” a voice said from the other side of your room.
You nearly jumped out of your skin as you spun around, searching for its source.
Mimzy stepped forward from the shadows and gave you a sickening smile. “It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.”
“What are you doing here?” you blurted without thinking. Your hands clutched your bed sheets as she approached you as casually as you would approach a friend in public. But you weren’t in public. And you most definitely weren’t friends.
“Oh, don’t give me that, doll,” Mimzy said with a wave of her hand. “I’ve been dying to see you ever since Al brought you to my club.”
“Why?” you asked before pressing your lips together. It wouldn’t do you any good to antagonize her, you knew. But you couldn’t seem to stop yourself. “What do you want from me?”
A small voice in the back of your head wondered how she had managed to slink into the shadows and avoid Alastor’s. Shadows were part of his domain, after all. Shouldn’t he have sensed her?
Mimzy’s smile changed into something more sinister. “I don’t want anything from you, doll. You’re a sweet little thing, but-” she looked you up and down with a note of disdain. “I have a feeling you wouldn’t make me much revenue.”
You felt an anger flare up inside of you. You stood, crossing your arms and pasting what you hoped was a firm expression on your face. “If you don’t want anything from me, why go out of your way to sneak into my room?”
The club owner’s smile only grew. “Relax, sugar, I’m not here to trick you into services. I’m here to talk about ol’ Alastor.”
You tried to hide the surprise and fear that shot through your core. “What about him?”
“Well,” Mimzy said with nonchalance as she began to stroll through your bedroom, poking at your belongings. “We both know that he tends to keep to himself. Not many friends, but loads of enemies, am I right? But he’s really just a sweetheart, that’s why we’ve been friends for years now.”
You blinked. “Alright.”
“But,” Mimzy continued, her voice oddly sweet. “I noticed the other night that he’s taken a bit of a shine to you.”
You dropped your arms and shook your head. “That’s not true. Alastor and I-”
Mimzy waved a hand dismissively. “Now, I’m not one to stir up unnecessary drama. But Al’s my friend, so I’ve been a bit worried about him since then.” She turned to look at you, her eyes boring intently into yours. “He’s an Overlord, you know. Lots of enemies. If any of them find out about you, think about what it’ll do to his reputation. Or worse,” she said, her eyes widening dramatically as she placed her hands on her cheeks. “His power.”
You flinched.
If you were being honest, the very same thought had crossed your mind more than once. Every time you went out with Alastor, even for a brief moment, you worried about being seen with him. You worried what it would do for his image.
He had been quick to ease your concerns, reassuring you that nobody would dare cross him, even if he were to be seen with you.
Even so, you had noticed that he was careful to never touch you, and rarely ever look at you, when the two of you were in public.
But, it seemed, despite all of his precautions, that your night together at Mimzy’s might have started something that you had feared from the very beginning.
You swallowed heavily, meeting Mimzy’s gaze as you repeated the same words that Alastor had said to you, time and time again. “Nobody would dare cross the Radio Demon.”
Mimzy nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “Of course they wouldn’t, sugar. But they might mess with you. And if Al cares about you half as much as I think he does, well, that’ll be enough to ruin everything that he’s ever worked for.”
You bit your lip with worry. You were never quite as good as Alastor when it came to hiding your emotions. “So why did you come to me?”
The demoness shrugged. “I knew Al would never listen if I told him that you were bad for him.”
You winced.
“But,” she continued, “I thought maybe you could convince him.”
An alarm bell began to ring in the back of your mind. “Convince him of what?” you asked wearily.
“To keep his distance from you,” Mimzy said, a little too quickly for your liking. “The longer you stick around, the more he gets attached. And the more he gets attached, well…” she smiled, her teeth sharp and her eyes dark. “The more likely it is that our old friend gets tossed out of commission.”
Your gaze hardened. “You want me to stay away from Al? Fat chance.”
Mimzy laughed, the sound forced and brittle. “Not at all, sugar. I won’t be the one who ripped the two of you apart.” She began walking towards your bedroom door. “In fact, I think you two are adorable together. But, you see, it’s not just Alastor I’m looking out for. I’ve gotta take care of myself, too,” she said as she turned to face you.
You recoiled at the sight of her hardened eyes and cruel expression.
Your bedroom door opened, revealing two large demons that closed the door behind them, blocking your exit. You whirled around as another demon entered through your window, cutting off your only other means of escape.
“Mimzy-” you began.
“Don’t you worry, doll. They can’t exactly kill you again, can they?” she giggled. “They’ll just rough you up a little so that Alastor can finally come to his senses.”
“What are you talking about?” you asked as panic began to set in.
“Let me explain it in simple terms for you, hun. I need you to help me break Alastor and get him away from you. Whether or not you help me willingly is completely up to you,” she said with a shrug.
“If Al does care about me,” you said desperately, “then it won’t do any good for you to hurt me. This is just going to make things worse for him. It’ll make him angry. He’ll lash out.”
Mimzy’s eerie grin only grew in size. “Oh, I’m counting on it, sugar. I can’t exactly gain more territory with the Radio Demon breathing down everyone’s neck. If I can get to him through you, he’ll be too upset to think straight.” She chuckled. “If I’m lucky, he’ll be the cause of his own downfall. With him out of the way, things can be the way they’re meant to be.”
The three demons surrounding you came closer.
“Mimzy,” you gasped. “Please, don’t do this. Alastor’s one of your oldest friends, he doesn’t deserve this.”
The club owner tilted her head in consideration. “Well, I suppose I can make an exception.” Her teeth flashed. “If you were willing to cut a deal with me.”
The demons grew closer still.
You could feel your resolve faltering. One measly deal to get out of this mess didn’t sound too bad. But as you looked back over at Mimzy, her eyes flashing and her smile turning into a snarl, the voice in your head that screamed out to protect Alastor came to the forefront of your mind with full force. Any deal that you made with Mimzy would only be used to hurt Alastor, and you would never forget how you had met him in the first place.
He had saved you once. You weren’t going to make him save you again.
You straightened and stared straight into Mimzy’s eyes. “I hope you get what’s coming to you,” you spat.
The sinner shrugged. “Whatever you say, doll. Have fun, fellas!”
You heard your door open and close as the demons drew nearer, blocking your view.
A deep fear spread throughout your body, starting in your chest and working its way out. You could scream, but you were almost certain that Mimzy had found a way to mute the sounds from your room to the rest of the hotel. Nobody was coming to save you.
You squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself as a feeling of regret shot through your heart. You had never thanked Husk for having your back. You had never finished your makeover with Anthony. You had never told your friends how much they had helped you, and how much you appreciated them.
You had never told Alastor that you loved him.
You let out a sob. You cursed yourself for crying.
A hand grabbed your arm roughly, your eyes flying open in horror. But before the demon could do so much as pull you closer, a shadow swept through your window and across the room, knocking the other two demons away from you. The third demon tightened his grip on your arm, but it was already much too late.
The lights in your room began to flicker as a new shadow entered your room. It grew in size, becoming more and more solid until it finally took the shape of one of the most feared Overlords in Hell.
“I do believe,” Alastor said to the last standing demon as his antlers began to grow and his eyes began to flicker. “You have something that belongs to me.”
You didn’t wait to hear the demon’s response before you shut your eyes and turned away. You knew what came next, and though you had yet to argue with Alastor over his methods, you had no wish to see them for yourself.
The demon’s hand was ripped from your arm. Even without your sight, you were able to hear the screams of all three intruders as Alastor and his shadow punished them a mere feet away from you.
You sank down onto the ground, keeping your eyes closed as you pulled your knees up to your chest and buried your head in your arms. The tears that had begun to flow earlier suddenly returned with a vengeance, making their way down your cheeks as you sobbed violently.
You’re safe. You’re safe. Al is here now. You’re safe, you thought to yourself as you pulled your knees in tighter.
But another, horrible voice spoke up as you cried. He wasn’t able to see Mimzy, it said. Why wasn’t he able to see Mimzy? If this happens again, will he know? Will he miss it?
Can he save me?
You gasped and whipped your head up when a gentle hand brushed your arm.
Alastor was staring right back at you, kneeling on your floor. His smile was tense and close-lipped, his expression concerned. “It’s only me, mon chere.”
You glanced behind him and noticed vaguely that Mimzy’s three demons were nowhere to be seen.
Your chest began to hitch as you tried to hold your tears back. “I’m so sorry, Al,” you said, hating the way your voice broke. “I should have been able to defend myself, I’m so sorry.” The tears began again, your body slumping forward as you began to weep.
A pair of arms caught you and gathered your body closer until you were resting against a warm chest.
Al’s shadow, you thought to yourself as you nuzzled closer.
One of its arms wrapped around your back, holding you close, while its other hand grasped one of yours and pressed it to its chest. It held you tightly, allowing you to cry and hiccup into its shoulder.
You weren’t sure how long you sat there before your sobs became whimpers, and your whimpers became hiccups. You weren’t sure how long it held you before you were able to breathe properly.
The hand holding yours released you gently, coming up to wipe your tears away from your face.
You finally opened your swollen eyes, already regretting having been found in such a vulnerable state.
You came face to face with Alastor’s shadow. Holding Alastor’s staff.
Standing across the room.
You gasped and pulled back violently, causing yourself to fall out of Alastor’s lap and onto your floor.
The Overlord didn’t react, instead watching you with an expressionless smile on his face.
“I thought you were your shadow,” you stammered. “I didn’t realize-”
“I do hope you aren’t going to apologize for reacting to the given situation, my dear,” Alastor said as he tilted his head at you. He sounded, much to your surprise, mildly annoyed.
You froze. “Are you mad at me?”
A flash of irritation appeared in the Overlord’s eyes as his teeth gleamed. “We’ve now spent a notable amount of time together. I do hope you know me a bit better than that.” His voice held a note of challenge.
You sniffed and brought your knees to your chest once again without a response.
Alastor’s eyes softened and his smile eased at the sight of your trembling form. He sighed, the sound revealing an internal exhaustion that he would never admit to out loud. “I assure you, mon chere, my anger does not lie with you.”
You nodded, looking away.
Silence. Deep silence.
But you couldn’t avoid the upcoming conversation forever.
“People have seen us together, Al,” you finally said, your throat raw. You looked up at him. “People who want to take your power.”
You didn’t miss the way the demon’s smile tensed.
“I won’t be the reason that you lose everything you’ve built so far,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “You deserve more than what I can give you.”
Alastor stood abruptly, climbing gracefully to his feet before offering you one of his clawed hands and pulling you up beside him.
He released you and grasped your chin in between his fingers, tilting your head up to face him.
“Any demon who hopes to steal my power is going to find themselves sorely disappointed, my dear, regardless of whether or not your presence is noticed.” His eyes hardened. “I am more than capable of holding on to what I’ve gained.”
“You couldn’t sense Mimzy,” you blurted, regretting the words as they left your lips, but unable to stop them. “You didn’t realize she was there until-” you swallowed. “What if it happens again, but this time they come for you?” You hated how desperate you sounded. “What if they hurt you, Al?”
The Overlord tilted his head. His smile twitched and his grip only strengthened as he looked down at you with something resembling regret. “I do admit that both myself and my shadow were a bit distracted during its visit, and I do apologize for not preventing this whole ordeal before it ever began.”
“That’s not what I meant-” you started weakly.
Alastor’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Though I can promise you that such a thing will never happen again, mon chere. Not while I still stand.”
You didn’t respond. Not because you doubted his ability to take care of you, of course. But because you didn’t want this added responsibility to prevent him from taking care of himself.
“I do hope,” the demon continued, the static in his voice suddenly disappearing as he searched your gaze. “That you haven’t finally begun to doubt me.”
You shook your head as well as you were able to with his fingers still clutching your jaw. “No,” you whispered. “Never.”
And in a rare display of courage, you reached out, placing your hands gently on either side of the Radio Demon’s face as he released your jaw. You pulled him down until your foreheads met. “Never,” you repeated, your voice firm. “And if you really aren’t worried, and you want me to stay, then I will.” You pulled back to look into his eyes. “I’ll stay with you. Always.”
Alastor’s hands reached up and settled on top of yours as his eyes bore into you. “That’s quite the commitment, my dear,” he said. There was something strange in his voice, something that sounded almost like uncertainty, almost like tension, almost like fear.
Your grip on his face tightened as you looked up at him. “I mean it, Al. I’ll stay with you, if you’ll have me. If you’re sure.”
Now, there were a great many things that Alastor would never do. He’d never make a deal that he wasn’t in control of. He’d never submit to the Vees. He’d never tell Charlie the real reason that he was in her hotel.
He’d never tell you that he loved you.
But, he found as he stared into your eyes, he would absolutely give up everything that he’d ever built if it meant that he got to keep you.
“I don’t intend to lose anything, my dear. Least of all you.”
You blushed, maintaining eye contact as a gentle smile took the place of your previous frown.
Alastor leaned forward. You followed his lead, expecting to press your forehead to his, when he surprised you by placing a soft kiss on your forehead.
You pulled back and smiled up at him before pulling him down to place your own kiss on his cheek.
Maybe Mimzy was right. Maybe you were something of a danger to the Radio Demon. But you’d be double-damned if you were going to give up on him so easily.
“Now,” Alastor said, his eyes flashing dangerously as he released you and stepped back. His shadow surged forward, returning Alastor’s staff to its rightful owner and standing behind its master with a chilling grin.
Alastor faced you, his smile gentle and his eyes hard as the static returned to his voice with full force. “Would you care to give me the name of the foolish soul who tried to harm what was mine?”
~~~
Nobody had seen or heard from Mimzy in days.
Three new screams had joined the Radio Demon’s broadcast.
You’d been too afraid to leave the hotel for a few days.
Alastor had begun checking your room every night before leaving you alone.
Nobody else at the hotel knew what had happened to you. Not even Angel and Husk.
You gained back your courage in the following weeks with help from Alastor.
The two of you had grown closer than ever.
Nobody had seen or heard from Mimzy in weeks.
~~~
You leaned back against your bed’s headboard, watching as Alastor had his shadow sweep through your room once again.
“I’m fine, Al,” you said, trying to contain your laughter. “Really. Nobody else is going to get in. There’s locks on the windows, and your room is close enough to be able to hear if something goes wrong.”
Alastor hummed in acknowledgement, though his eyes continued to roam around your room until he was satisfied.
He turned to you with a grin. “I’m only protecting what is mine, mon cœur.” He turned to your door, walking away from you with his shadow following close behind. “I do expect to see you bright and early in the morning for a short stroll.”
It was your turn to hum in agreement.
You were more than thrilled with the offer, of course, but you felt a sense of unease that threatened to keep you up all night. You didn’t doubt Alastor’s abilities, of course, but you worried about what might happen to him if he was attacked while he was momentarily distracted with keeping you safe.
Alastor’s hand reached towards your doorknob. “I bid you a good night, my dear.”
“Will you stay with me tonight?” you blurted before you could lose your courage.
Alastor froze in place, his hand hovering. His shadow, however, was much more reactive. It leapt up in excitement and made its way back over to your bed, jumping in beside you and nuzzling its head against your cheek.
You giggled and pulled away, allowing the shadow to slowly run a clawed hand from the base of your throat up to your chin before looking back over at its owner.
He had turned to look at you, a fond expression on his face as he watched the interaction.
“Only if you want to, of course,” you said hurriedly as your smile began to slip. “I don’t mean to pressure you.”
Alastor waved a hand dismissively before he made his way over to you. “You couldn’t pressure me if you tried, my dear.”
Your heart soared as you moved over, giving him enough room to not have to even brush against you during the night.
The Overlord climbed into your bed easily, settling against your headboard before looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. “I do hope you weren’t expecting me to sleep.”
You smiled. “Not at all.” You began to shuffle around to get comfortable and to avoid looking into his eyes when you said, “I just feel safer when you’re here, that’s all.”
The last words of your sentence had hardly left your lips before Alastor’s shadow finally moved from its place on your other side. You laughed as it nudged you over before wrapping its arms around you and pulling your back to its chest, giving you a sense of security that you had never found with anyone else.
You closed your eyes and nuzzled in, allowing yourself to be swept away in a wave of comfort and exhaustion. “Goodnight, Al,” you murmured as you drifted away. “Thank you. For everything.”
You fell asleep before you could hear his response.
So you didn’t see his eyes soften. You didn’t see him reach out and grasp one of your hands in his own. You didn’t see him lean down and press a soft kiss to your temple. You didn’t hear his last words before he began to doze as well.
“Thank you, mon cœur.”
A/N 2: I really hope you guys enjoyed this one!! This is an ongoing series, so let me know if you’d like to be tagged!
I’d also like to continue writing for Hazbin Hotel, so send me requests and let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any those as well :))
Taglist: @severusminerva @anh4125 @midorichoco @rapturenyx @maybememoriesx @martinys-world @axellovesalastor @mo-0-o @looking1016 @saturn-alone @sirens-and-moonflowers
#fic#fanfic#my fic#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin husk#hazbin angel dust#hazbin anthony#angel dust x husk#huskerdust#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#the radio demon#radio demon x reader#hazbin mimzy#angst#fluff#angst with a happy ending#hazbin hotel angst#alastor x reader angst#alastor x reader fluff#alastors shadow#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel fanfiction#taglist#series
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Leah's Return
Part 6 - Fire on Fire Series
A/N: Sorry this one is short, updates may not be as regular in the next few weeks bc Uni is getting a little hectic... (I know I posted one yesterday but I don't know if I 100% like this so I'm just getting it out)
The game today was the one Leah expected to be making her return, it also was the game your parents had decided to come to. There was some irony in that, as your parents were most likely going to ruin a night that was meant to be fun and celebrate the return of Leah. However you ignored the fact they were there, not even looking for them in the stands before the game started.
At 61 minutes Leah was subbed on and the reception was great. The game finished amazingly with Arsenal beating Reading 6-0.
-
As soon as the whistle blew you ran up to Leah and hugged her.
“You did amazing! I’m so proud of you,” you told her as you patted her on her back, “I have to go speak to them now, but I will see you later,” she nodded as said something along the lines of thank you and good luck before you walked off.
You quickly found your parents in the stands and walked up to them.
“Look at you two playing the supportive parent role”, you said as you greeted them, seeing how they had brand new Arsenal Jerseys on which had your number on them, and to top it all off they had Mum and Dad written across the back.
“Y/N, respect please,” You Dad beckoned,
“I’ll decide how I treat you when you tell me the real reason your here,” you pointedly said
“Can we go somewhere else?” He asked.
“No we are doing this here,” “Well, your father and I are giving you one last chance before we cut you off, you can decide, but there won’t be anymore chances, we will buy you whatever house, wherever you want, and we will pay for all your expenses whilst you study, all you need to do is quit.”
“No,” you reply, looking at her dead in the face.
“No?” They both questioned, expecting you to put up a fight.
“No, I’m not giving up the thing I love. Just to fulfil your wishes and your distorted reality. You didn’t raise me anyway so you cutting me off won't do much harm,” you walked off, and made your way into the locker room, quickly having a shower before you jumped in your car and headed home, to start getting ready for tonight, at least tonight you could drink and forget about it all.
_____
It was later that night and your plan to drink and forget it all had definitely not worked, you hadn’t actually drunk at all, knowing all too well it wasn’t the best idea at all to drown your sorrows but you also felt like shit. You couldn’t believe they came all the way just to cut you off, clearly having no respect for the date that was steadily approaching in two days. You just wanted to go home, however as you were meant to be going home with Leah you didn’t know if that was an option, as this was her night and she should have fun, however as you looked around the bar you noticed Beth and Viv together, so you decided to ask them if they could take you home.
“Can you take me home? I know it’s really early, but I’m just not feeling the best and I don’t want to make Leah leave early.” “Of course, we were thinking of heading off now anyway,” Viv told you and Beth rolled her eyes.
You were sitting in the back seat head resting against the window, when Beth asked if you were okay, and you mumbled a small ‘yeah’ before small soft tears started to roll down your cheeks.
Both women followed you into your home but you didn't question it, you were honestly expecting it, however you just ignored them and walked into your room.
You were scrolling on tik tok when the fifth edit of your parents and you from the game showed up on your screen, with the caption saying how supportive your parents were. Before you could even think you flung your phone out of your hand and it hit the wall
You threw your phone across the room as hot angry tears started to flow down your face.
“Hey, what's going on?” Beth asked as she opened the door, “are you okay?”
“No, but that doesn’t matter, sorry if I scared you, I threw my phone, I didn’t want to see another edit or post of me and them from tonight. People are saying they are supportive, but they aren’t, and I mean I did have my aunts but it’s still different. Knowing your parents are literally throwing millions of dollars at you so that you do what they want. Knowing they disapprove of what you do so much that they would do that. It’s fucked, and it’s fucking unfair,” you took a deep breath before more tears started to stream down your face, “I’m sorry.”
“It is unfair. It is a fucked up situation and you have nothing to be sorry about,” Beth said as she walked up to you, and wrapped her arms around you. You practically collapsed into her, needing any form of comfort. “Should we call Stina?” She questioned
“No,” you had called Stina enough over the past few years, tonight was date night and you weren’t going to interrupt her night, “oh you can go if you want,” you said as you tried to pull out of her arms, getting the sense that she didn’t want to stay.
“No, that's not what I meant. I just didn't know if you would want your best friend or not?”
“No, it's okay, and you're one of my best friends now too,” you admitted, shortly after hearing a sniffle, looking up to see some tears had fallen from Beth’s eyes.
“You’re a fat softy you know that, right?” you told her before pulling her in for a massive hug.
You spent the rest of the evening on the couch with Beth and Viv watching a movie.
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#arsenal wfc#awfc#awfc x reader#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#wosoamazing fireonfire
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Behind Lock Doors
Consider this as a prequel to: Not Interested
Fallen Star Hotel: Room 103. 11:31 Pm.
In this room sat two individuals: The fashion icon of, Beacon Academy, Coco Adel, and the wannabe knight, Jaune Arc.
The pair had been out on the town shopping for clothes. Mostly for, Coco that was. Jaune was just giving her his expert opinion for woman’s fashion. The duo had had a rather eventful day, and decided the finish things off with a nice meal, and then head back to, Beacon.
Then disaster struck.
Nora Valkyrie had struck.
After they had finished their food they both started feeling hot under the collar. As they made their way back, a burning desire grew hotter, and hotter within them. Suddenly, Nora had appeared out of thin air, and dragged the pair away. They tried to fight her off, but the burning desire blurred their mind. She shoved the two into a hotel room, she told the pair to have fun before locking the door, and disappeared.
The pair stared at one another before take a spot with their backs to each other on the only bed in the room as a terrible realization dawned on them.
~~~
Jaune: …
Coco: …
Jaune: …
Coco: …
Jaune: …
Coco: J-Jaune…?
Jaune: Yeah…?
Coco: Are you feeling… are you feeling…?
Jaune: Aroused…?
Coco: I was going to say horny, but… yeah that…
Jaune: Yeah… I’m feeling that…
Coco: Why are we feeling like this?!
Jaune: Haaaa… Nora…
Coco: Nora?
Jaune: She spiked our food… w-with… haaa… an a-aphrodisiac.
Coco: She did? H-How can you tell?
Jaune: It the only thing that makes sense… We’re both feeling horny as hell after we ate… and then, Nora shoved us in here, and locked the door. What else could it be…?
Coco: Fuck… that makes perfect sense…
Jaune: She has been questioning me if I had a thing for you… I deflected every time she asked… I don’t think she liked my answer.
Coco: Do you?
Jaune: Do I what?
Coco: Do you… haaa~! L-Like me…?
Jaune: Romantically?
Coco: Yeah… romantically.
Jaune: …
Jaune: I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t interested…
Coco: And, what would you do if I said I was interested too?
Jaune: If you were… I’d probably ask you on a date…
Coco: W-Would today count as a date? We went to the mall, did some shopping, had dinner together, sounds like a date to me.
Jaune: By that logic we’ve been dating for months. But, we never labeled it as a date, just two friends hanging out. It doesn’t count.
Coco: That’s fair…
Jaune: Well… i-if it was a date… it was one hell of a date.
Coco: Until the being drugged part.
Jaune: Yeah… that part…
Coco: …
Coco: Have you ever thought about doing it with me?
Jaune: It? Do you mean… sex…?
Coco: Yeah… sex…
Jaune: …
Jaune: Once, or twice…
Coco: Oh hoho~! Really? Tell me, Bunny Boy… what did you do to me~?
Jaune: Coco… as much as I would love to hear you say scream my name… I do not want to do it because I was drugged! It feels wrong… the thought of it would be a huge turn off me, if it wasn’t the fact the drugged in my system are doing the exact opposite to me!
Coco: That’s… fair…
Jaune: Have you… Have you thought about doing it… w-with me…?
Coco: I may have flicked the bean a few times thinking about you…
Jaune: Oh… thank you…?
Coco: Gods I am so turned on right now! What kind of drug did she spike our food with?!
Jaune: Something aura related.
Coco: How can you tell?
Jaune: I’ve been burning my aura trying to get the drug out of my system. And, well…
Coco: It feels stronger than before?
Jaune: Yeah… It feels way stronger than before…
Coco: Might be, Succubus Tears then…
Jaune: Succubus Tears, the hell is that?
Coco: It’s an aphrodisiac drug that feeds off an individuals aura. We’ll be stuck in a hell of a sex drive until it burns through your system, and some.
Jaune: Fuck… I have massive aura reserves, this is going to take a while… Is there any other way we can kill this buzz?
Coco: Yeah, we could have …
Jaune: Sex?
Coco: Yeah, that.
Jaune: Wait, how do you know what kind of drug it could be?
Coco: I go to the club, I don’t want any fucker spiking my drink. So, I learned what kind of drugs fuckers could spike my drink with.
Jaune: Ahh… another reason to avoid the clubs… Wait, does that mean you know how to deal with these… Succubus Tears? Like should we go to the hospital, and ask them for help?
Coco: Wouldn’t do any good, you have to deplete your aura to get rid of the effects. Even then you’ll have to wait a while for it to wear off.
Jaune: Fuck…! Any other ideas?
Coco: We could screw each other…
Jaune: Not happening.
Coco: Or, one of us can go into the bathroom, and the other stays here, and work it…
Jaune: That won’t work…
Coco: Why not?
Jaune: You’re gonna get yourself off, and I myself. Someones going to make some noise… then someone going to start thinking… and, then were going to do it right on the spot…
Coco: We would be behind a lock door though?
Jaune: First off, I seriously doubt the sound proofing of that door. Secondly, we’re hunters in training; do you seriously think a simple bolt lock, and one inch of wood is going to stop either of us?
Coco: Like hell it will. I could just punch that door, and I’d get in.
Jaune: Yeah, but you wouldn’t do that.
Coco: Why not?
Jaune: Because that’s simple, and lame. You would kick the door down in those high heel boots of yours like a total badass.
Coco: Oh, that is totally the badass thing to do~!
Jaune: I would probably just rip the door of its hinges trying to open it.
Coco: Mmm… that’s hot.
Jaune: Pff… yeah… it kinda is.
Coco: So… what are going to do till this shit wears off.
Jaune: We continue what we’re doing. We sit here, and wait for it to burn off, and plan unholy vengence against, Nora.
Coco: Okay… I’m going to deck her with my hand bag.
Jaune: Ohhh! You trying to kill her?
Coco: At this rate I’m serious planning on it.
Jaune: Fair. I was thinking about tying her to a pole, and baking pancakes in front of her.
Coco: That doesn’t sound so bad.
Jaune: But I was going to burn every one of them.
Coco: Oh! Oh, that’s devious~!
Jaune: My vengeance will be swift, and bloody~!
Coco: Hey, Jaune… can I ask you one question?
Jaune: Depends.
Coco: This is going to bother to hell, and back if I don’t get an answer since I saw it. But, how big are you?
Jaune: …
Jaune: Seven soft, ten and a half hard…
Coco: Nice~!
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Warnings: talks of a toxic relationship, fighting(screaming)
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Change
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“She deserves better, but I can’t see her with anyone else, so I became better.” -Hardin Scott
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Jack Hughes sat on the couch ready to get interviewed. It was most likely going to be about hockey or him getting back with his now girlfriend y/n. They were toxic in the beginning and throughout their first relationship but Jack had changed for her. He had known she deserved better but he didn’t want her with anyone else but him so, he became better for her and only her. He then smiled to Y/n who was behind the cameras watching as the interview started and so far there was only questions about hockey not y/n. “So, Jack, everyone’s been wanting to know.” The interviewer started and he internally groaned. “Why did you and y/n get back together? Weren’t you guys super toxic?” She asked and Jack grimaced thinking back to how their relationship used to be.
Flashback
The apartment was filled with screaming so loud you’d be shocked if the neighbors didn’t call the cops. “Why, Jack?! Why?!” Y/n screamed angrily with tears pricking her eyes but not falling. Jack had gone out drinking with his team and had been flirting with other girls from what Luke and Nico had told her. He didn’t directly cheat but still. They were in a relationship and he shouldn’t have been doing that. “It was only flirting! I didn’t actually cheat!” He screamed back as they were now getting into each others faces. “That doesn’t matter! You’re in a fucking relationship with ME Jack! This has happened so many times before!” Y/n yelled getting more pissed off at the fact that Jack was trying to play it off. “Well maybe I don’t want to be tied down to you!” Jack yelled and Y/n stood there in shock tears now falling. Jack regretted what he said instantly. He didn’t mean it. He loved her with all his heart he just had anger issues. That wasn’t any good excuse though.“You know it’s bad when Nico tells me but worst when Luke, your own brother tells me. So, I’m done Jack.” She whispered crying but Jack could hear her all too well. He wish he couldn’t hear what she had said. The girl then left to their shared room packing the absolute essentials and calling her best friend to pick her up. Once her friend got there she got up to leave. “Please, y/n. Don’t leave. I need you.” Jack had begged her almost crying which she ignored walking out the door. She didn’t need him. Atleast that’s what she was trying to convince herself. From that day Jack tried and tried to make himself better for her and she would decline him asking her out again every time until she didn’t and saw he actually had changed.
Now
“Jack? The question?” The interviewer asked grabbing his attention again. He must’ve been thinking for too long cause he looked over and saw Y/n’s worried face. “Oh, sorry about that.” He apologized to which the interviewer said it was fine. “I know she deserves better, but I can’t see her with anyone else.” Jack started then looked over to Y/n again and smiled. “So I became better. Now we’re not toxic anymore.” Jack said and Y/n mouthed an ‘I love you’ to him. “I love you too.” Jack mouthed back then looked to the interviewer. “That’s sweet. Well, we’re glad the power couple is back together despite the past. But that’s our interview today. Thank you for coming!” The interviewer said to Jack and he nodded saying you’re welcome. Once the cameras stopped recording he went over to Y/n hugging her. “That was real sweet what you said Rowdy.” She told him and he smiled pecking her lips. He would never treat her how they used to be ever again.
#jackhughes#new jersey devils#newjerseydevils#hockey men#hockey#hockey imagine#nhl hockey#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x y/n#nhl imagine#imagine
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Buddie: Bachelor party and the wedding - Eddie's relationship POV
In 7x6, it was evident Buddie is the Superior Endgame Ship to BuckT*mmy and also it's been noted numerous times how T*mmy didn't attempt to dress up and oblige Buck's wishes while Eddie was shown doing it with ease. Even though the scenes were short and most of it was included in a montage of that night, so much was highlighted about both Buck’s and Eddie's current relationships that further demonstrated how much Eddie and Buck know each other inside and out while their supposed LIs don't know them at all.
I've posted at least two or three times about these instances myself (linked here and here).
In addition to the way Buck’s whatever he has going on with T*mmy was depicted as them not knowing each other and how it's being done to show how they're not compatible, it appears less attention is being given to the way Eddie's relationship with Maris*l was just as IGNORED that night if not more than Buck’s with T*mmy's.
Here's what I mean.
Not only did Eddie dress up for the event according to Buck’s wishes, he was the one who suggested he and Buck wear themed 1980s costumes. Also, he made sure Chris was going to be cared for the entire night and he was not being cared for by Eddie’s supposed LI but by his blood family, Chris' cousins. This is important because in 7x4, Eddie said she babysat twice in one week while he went out with T*mmy but if the show wanted the audience to believe or think Eddie’s relationship with her was really strengthening, wouldn't it have made more sense for him to just announce to Buck that she was caring for Chris? It surely does seem like it especially since Chris was out of town the week before in 7x5 and he said she babysat him in 7x4. If it wasn't meant to be intentional, then it was a strange writing choice. Also, it appears Eddie had already planned to be out with Buck for however long it was going to be (the whole night).
Furthermore, in 7x5 Maris*l wouldn't stop calling Eddie while he was spending time with Buck at the loft. They had moved in together but Eddie was shown not wanting to go back there. But in 7x6 when he was out all night with Buck and they were partying like it was 1999 with people they didn't even know, she didn't call once 👀.
Additionally, when everyone else left, Eddie didn't but if the show wanted the audience to believe Eddie was all in with Maris*l, he would have left when Hen, Karen, Ravi and everyone else did and he could have said he was leaving so he could go home to spend time with her to watch a movie or something but they didn’t.
He stayed with Buck and he was the only one who did. Why? Because EDDIE'S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IS WITH BUCK THE SAME WAY BUCK’S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IS WITH EDDIE.
The fact is they could have easily written the bachelor party scenes differently and shown T*mmy being supportive of Buck and Maris*l being the one who took care of Chris while Eddie was out partying with Chimney, Buck and the rest of Buck’s and Eddie’s found family but instead of doing that, they did the exact opposite. In fact, their scenes together only strengthened the Buddie dynamic and illustrated for the umpteenth time in 6 years how Buck and Eddie are perfect for one another while their supposed LIs aren't.
Finally, Maris*l wasn't even invited to the wedding. Eddie’s abuela was there with him and Chris was too so how does anyone expect for people to root for eddiemaris*l when the show isn't putting any effort into their relationship just like they aren't for buckt*mmy? I don't care and I hope they don't but IMO these are valid questions. The answer is they don't want anyone rooting for those relationships because T*mmy and Maris*l are PLOT DEVICES and they're only there to move Buck’s and Eddie’s arcs to the next plot point.
This is simply another observation about the bachelor party and the writing choices that were made for Eddie's relationship with Maris*l. It highlights the way their relationship is just as unimportant as the one Buck is in with T*mmy.
I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#911 on abc#911 season 7#911 season 7 speculation#911 spoilers#911 meta#911 speculation#Anti bucktommy#Anti tommy kinard#anti eddiemarisol#Anti marisol#I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!
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https://x.com/stopkookminpls/status/1732138522063102076
The way Jk asks him to keep eating. No but seriously, i can understand friends simply caring about each other but there is something so boyfriend about JK's actions here. Is it just me?
One of my favourite things about Jungkook as a person is how attentive he can be to the people he cares about. This is something you see in how he takes care of his hyungs and even Bam and as you said, with Jimin, there is something that feels a little different.
When this Live started, Jimin asked if he could eat because he hadn’t eaten all day and Jungkook immediately told him he could eat and then this happened way later. So it means the entire time, Jungkook was still concerned about the fact that Jimin hadn’t eaten and just wanted him to eat. It’s the way he taps him the first time and just points to the food but when Jimin didn’t notice, he touched him again and this time used his words. 😩
This isn’t something i’ve seen Jungkook do with anyone else (atleast not in the same way). I mean, you see him showing care and concern about his hyungs’ well being but with Jimin it feels like he thinks Jimin is his responsibility or something lol.
In this clip too we have him telling Jimin to make sure he eats everything. I’m sure i don’t have to remind anyone that Jungkook is actually younger than Jimin. If Jimin or any of the other hyungs act like this towards Jk, it is understandable but Jk being the one babying his hyung is kinda…….
This is another very underrated moment which shows once again how interested Jk is when it comes to Jimin eating. Here we have Tae asking if anyone wants to trade half of their ham for half of his panini and Jimin volunteering to do it, then we have Jk saying Jimin can have some of his too and them proceeding to ask if he can cut it🥹
This one is not about food but just shows again how attentive Jk is to Jimin and his stomach lol. We see Jk getting water for Jimin even though Jimin didn’t even ask. He was just sitting there and but Jk made sure to get water for him to drink too.
And he did something similar here. Getting the bottle of water they were all sharing and giving it to Jimin to drink first before he drank himself.
And then one of the cutest videos of all. Jungkook making the biggest pancake for Jimin just because he had penalties to do. Jimin didn’t ask, as a matter of fact, Jimin wasn’t expecting it and was pleasantly surprised when Jungkook told him the biggest pancake was for him. All of these just scream “boyfriend” to me.
It’s the way Jk cares about Jimin’s well being and is attentive to him. Some of the other members might not even have remembered that Jimin had tons of penalties to do but not only did Jk remember, he made sure Jimin was well fed before embarking on the tasks. If this isn’t love, then i don’t know what love is. So anon, it isn’t just you. It’s you and the rest of us who have eyes and know how to use them.
There are many more moments but i cannot remember them all now. I guess Jin really knew what he was talking about when he said Jungkook is Jimin’s chef☺️.
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Gossip
Summary:
“It’s called fucking, Elain. Didn’t you hear our sister claim how much better she can do that now?”
“Surely she was exaggerating—”
“Oh I highly doubt that,” Nesta interrupted her, pouring them both a cup of tea. “That male, Rhysand, for all his arrogance, looked like he could fuck our sister for a week straight.”
Read on ao3 🩵
“Feyre looks different”.
Nesta merely grunted, and Elain sighed. She didn’t really know what she expected, to be honest. Her two sisters had never gotten along, and considering how similar they were, she felt like screaming half the time. It wasn’t that Nesta was mean, though Elain was aware that she had been shown more love and kindness than Feyre ever had been. Nesta was just very selective about the people she let in. For some reason, Feyre had never managed to breach the high walls Nesta had erected around herself, and Nesta certainly hadn’t made it easy for their younger sister.
“Her friends were nice,” Elain said, trying to get a word out of her older sister. “Very polite, too. I especially appreciate how well mannered Rhysand was. Azriel was also very polite. What did you think of Cassian?”
“He’s a brute, and Rhysand is an arrogant asshole. I have no opinion regarding the third one, though I can only assume he is the same as the other two.”
Elain tried not to roll her eyes. “Well at least this one can knock and didn’t ruin our front door. He doesn’t look as hairy either, which is good for our sister, I suppose.”
Nesta stopped in her tracks. “What are you implying?”
“Oh come on,” Elain said, a corner of her mouth lifting slightly. “You cannot possibly tell me you didn’t notice that Rhysand is smitten with our sister.”
Nesta raised a delicate eyebrow. “She is rather nice to look at. Isaac Hale thought so, too.”
Elain could feel a headache forming. Pinching her nose, she let out a very slow breath. “Isaac meant nothing to Feyre and you know it. The other one though, the blonde Fae Lord—”
“Don’t talk about that imbecile.”
Elain paused at Nesta’s reproachful look. Hating the High Fae was one thing, but her tone on the word imbecile implied Nesta held a sort of dislike for the blond male that far surpassed the disdain she had towards his kind in general.
She let it drop, choosing to focus on something else instead. “Do you think they have, you know?”
Elain followed closely when Nesta started walking again. “Do I think they have what?”
���You know what Nesta.”
“No Elain,” Nesta said with what sounded like a semi amused tone. “As a matter of fact, I don’t.”
“Oh come on, don’t make me say it.”
“Make you say what?”
Elain clenched her fists. “Do you think they have made love?”
Nesta started laughing, and Elain felt her cheeks burn.
“It’s called fucking, Elain. Didn’t you hear our sister claim how much better she can do that now?”
“Surely she was exaggerating—”
“Oh I highly doubt that,” Nesta interrupted her, pouring them both a cup of tea. “That male, Rhysand, for all his arrogance, looked like he could fuck our sister for a week straight.”
“I truly do not wish to think of Feyre doing… that.”
“Well you offered our home now,” Nesta shrugged. “Who knows, maybe next time we have to host them overnight we’ll get to hear all about their sex life.” Nesta tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Do you think she’s a screamer? Maybe we need to relocate to the other side of the house.”
Elain slapped her palms over her ears. “Please stop.”
Nesta laughed, but obliged and sipped her tea. There was a moment of silence, with Nesta clearly expecting her to say something. “Do you think they have though?”
Nesta shrugged. “I doubt it. Our sister is as clueless as they come, and Rhysand looked like a sexually frustrated male. But they are for sure going to.”
“You think so?”
Nesta gave her a look. “She basically said he is her boss, yet they ask for a room with two beds? I give them a few more weeks, one month at most.”
“I think Feyre loves him, she just doesn’t know it yet.”
Nesta contemplated Elain’s words for a moment, tossing them around in her head. Elain was a romantic, but she wasn’t daft. She knew her younger sister, and she knew Feyre hadn’t come to terms with her own feelings yet. She wanted to know what Nesta thought about it. It had been a while since they had gossiped so freely, but she patiently waited for her sister to speak.
“I think…” Nesta said. “I think you’re right, but I also think Feyre carries a lot of guilt in her heart for something that was absolutely not her fault. And she needs to forgive herself for that first.”
Agreeing, Elain simply nodded. They fell into a comfortable silence, drinking their tea and enjoying the quiet house. Her thoughts strayed back to her sister’s friends, to how Cassian and Nesta had annoyed one another during his entire stay here, and she wondered how much she would welcome being teased like that.
Smirking, she lifted the cup to her lips. “So. You find Cassian attractive, don’t you?”
Nesta almost choked on her tea. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m sure he finds you attractive as well. He also looked quite big and strong.”
Nesta shot up and quickly started walking away. “I don’t care.”
Elain laughed, deciding to drop it for the time being. “I’m sure you don’t, Nesta.”
But Nesta cared, and so did Cassian, and Elain was going to have the time of her life teasing her about it.
#gossip#the doodle#nesta#nesta archeron#elain#elain archeron#nesta and elain gossipping about their latest visitors#like the two busybodies they are#elain being a little shit like the middle child that she is#sisters#fanfic#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#sjm#sjmaas
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i really love this series sm and can u make baby!sainz and carlos’s cute moments from childhood with each other or with their parents. thank you!
Ohhh, this was so sweet to write. I really like the Easter part, because me and my siblings would do something like that as well.
I hope you have fun reading and please send some requests!
-XoXo
Childhood memories
The Arrival
Young Carlos’s excitement about having a sibling—someone to share adventures with, especially karting—was palpable. But when he learned it was a girl, his disappointment was equally intense. Why couldn’t he have a little brother like he’d hoped? Blanca and Ana had each other for Barbie playdates; why couldn’t he have a buddy too?
His parents tried to console him, suggesting that maybe the new baby would share his love for karting. But Carlos remained unconvinced. It was the night before his sister’s arrival, and he sat with his Papá on the swings, contemplating his impending role.
“You have a really important job now, Carlos,” his Papá said, capturing his attention. “What job, Papá? Am I gonna be a Ninja?” Carlos’s imagination ran wild. But his father’s response was even better: “No, mijo. Something even more significant. With three little sisters now, you need to be their protector. Especially for Amira—she’ll be too little to take care of herself. Can you do that for her, Carlitos?”
Carlos’s promise was unwavering. “Of course, Papá. I’ll be the best big brother for Amira. Promise.”
And so it began—the moment Amira arrived home, she had her personal bodyguard. Carlos took his role seriously, watching over her with fierce determination.
The first Vaccination
It was no secret that Carlos loved his little sister dearly. His baby sister, just six months old, had already wrapped him around her tiny finger. And Carlos didn’t mind one bit; in fact, their parents found it utterly sweet.
But when he heard Amira cry during their doctor’s visit, it shattered Carlos’s heart. As a six-month-old, she needed her vaccinations promptly. Like any other baby, Amira wailed when the needle pricked her tiny arm.
The worst part? Carlos felt utterly helpless. His Mamá explained that it was crucial for Amira’s safety to receive all her vaccinations. But he couldn’t bear to hear his sister’s heart-wrenching sobs any longer. Tearfully, he turned to the doctor: “Senora Doctora, can’t you give my sister something else? She’s in so much pain.” He cradled Amira in his arms, holding her like a precious teddy bear.
The doctor and his Mamá exchanged a knowing look. “I’m afraid not, little Señor Carlos,” the doctor replied gently. “However, when we’re done here, little Amira will be protected from all the illnesses out there.” Carlos’s eyes searched hers. “Promise?” he asked. “Promise,” she assured him.
And so, with that solemn vow, Carlos held his sister close, knowing that her well-being was worth every tear shed during those necessary vaccinations.
Stupid Boys
Ah, the complexities of sibling dynamics and growing up! Young Carlos found himself in a predicament when his six-year-old sister, Amira, casually dropped the bombshell: “My boyfriend Diego colored me a picture.” Carlos’s reaction was nothing short of dramatic: “Wait, what? What do you mean your boyfriend? Gatita, you’re only six years old!” His protective instincts kicked in, and he couldn’t fathom the idea of his baby sister having a boyfriend already. Before he could say anything else, his sister ran to her older sisters.
Throughout dinner, Carlos attacked his peas with more aggression than necessary. His Mamá, ever observant, asked, “Carlos, what’s wrong, aye? What did the peas do to you?” Blanka, the family joker, chimed in: “Maybe he saw himself in the reflection.” Ana and Amira erupted into giggles, and their father had to intervene with a stern “Girls.”
But Carlos couldn’t let it go. “Amira, you don’t need a boyfriend yet,” he nearly whined. The simultaneous “Boyfriend?” from his parents revealed their differing perspectives. His Mamá seemed delighted, while his Papá sounded more serious. And his sisters? Well, they “uhhhh”-ed in unison.
Amira spilled the beans about Diego, and the whole family listened intently. At the end of her story, their father weighed in: “Your brother is right, mija. You’re too young.” A secret wink followed towards Carlos, and Carlos felt a surge of validation. His father had his back.
As his sisters continued to protest to Papá about the perceived unfairness, Carlos realized that if his sisters were a team with Mamá, he was definitely part of Team Papá.
Easter Bunny
Each year his sisters and Carlos would have a sleepover the night before Easter. Carlos, the protective big brother, found himself in a delightful predicament. As he grew older, the magic of Easter began to fade, but for his little sisters, it remained alive and well. They still believed in the Easter Bunny, and their excitement was contagious.
So, when Carlos was abruptly woken up at 5 am on Easter morning, he found all three of his sisters staring at him with wide eyes. Panic filled the room as they whispered about scary noises—perhaps robbers invading their home. Blanca’s sentence hung in the air, unfinished, when another noise echoed through the house.
Carlos knew the truth, of course. It wasn’t robbers; it was their Papá, stealthily placing Easter presents on the staircase. But he couldn’t spoil the magic for his sisters. Instead, he played along: “Dios mío, it’s the Easter Bunny!” Their faces turned toward him, eyes wide with wonder. “Really?” Ana whispered. “Mhm,” Carlos confirmed, “but we have to go back to sleep. Otherwise, the bunny might hop away without leaving our presents.”
Ana and Blanca scrambled to his sides, burrowing under the blanket. Carlos gently lifted little Amira and settled her on his chest. “Now sleep, you three,” he intimated his best Carlos Sainz Sr. voice. And in that moment, surrounded by his sisters, he felt the weight of his promise—the protector of their childhood magic.
Carlos truly was the best big brother out there, weaving enchantment and love into their shared memories.
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Do you think you could fall in love again?
On the one hand, this is a wildly personal question, anon, and from the reaction of my knitting group, it would be totally appropriate for me to just abandon this in the depths of my unanswered asks.
On the other hand, if it is possible to know one thing about me as a person, just from my blog, it’s that I was deeply madly in love, and that that person died. And also: you have in fact activated my trap card.
Because I thought about this, almost as soon as they died, and not in a way where I was ready to fall in love immediately, but I think I said to @faintvox maybe the next day: can you be polyamorous with a ghost?
Because when I got divorced from my first spouse, I thought I wouldn’t find love for a long time. I expected to be single for years, because I had so much trauma from that, because I had loved him and it had broken me, because I thought it would be too hard to start over after more than 20 years with someone else.
And when I told Ryn that, after we started dating, they laughed at me. “There is no way you were going to be single for five years,” they said, which how long I said I’d expected. (For the record: I left my ex in August 2018; Ryn and I started dating in October 2019.)
Because Ryn and I were in a polyamorous relationship when we started out, and we were just trying to figure out how we wanted to do that again, more deliberately, and instead cancer-wedding-death. Our wedding vows deliberately included that space in our lives, in a way where it also was about our friendships, and was also something that would not be totally obvious to a couple of my older relatives.
Because I realized, after they died, that we together had written me a way through it — the fic we wrote together, one of the central characters is a widower, and the guy who created him always said “Magnus never loves again,” and we said “Fuck that,” and we said (altho this is I think @nekosd43's formulation originally), “Magnus is made for love,” and we shipped him in stories set before his marriage and we shipped him in stories set after. And Magnus’s grief and love for Julia is woven through the love that we gave him in the stories we wrote with him and Taako and him and Lucretia, and the love and the grief are both important. (JFC I WROTE A PIECE ABOUT LUCRETIA ASKING HIM ABOUT A TATTOO HE GOT FOR JULIA.)
Because among many other things, for the benefit of all the broken hearts is in part about what it means to have love that isn’t The Love, what it means to find love in the aftermath of tragedy, to find love in places you didn’t expect.
Because people in my family live a really fucking long time, and the idea of living another 30, 40, 50 years without romantic love, without being in love, is kind of horrifying to me. (No offense to my aromantic pals, but could not be me.) Especially given that I am already of a mindset that it is possible to have romantic love for more than one person at a time — to say that I couldn’t have it again at all is just not realistic for who I am.
No one is ever going to have the exact place that Ryn did and does. No one will ever be them, no other relationship will be the one that we had from when they first messaged me in 2017 until I lay next to their corpse in a hospital bed in 2021. Even in death they are literally my safe space.
And yet.
So the scene in OFMD 1x10, where Stede asks Mary what love feels like. I have always associated that with Ryn, and with my own little montage, because that is what our love felt like. (There are so many things about s1 Ed and Stede that are ridiculously us.) If we’d been married a year later, I bet some of that would have been in our wedding ceremony.
And yet.
I haven’t posted about it on Tumblr, but there is a somebody, and I am quite in love with them, and one time last summer I was watching Our Flag Means Death, as you do. And I got to that scene, and my mind was doing the montage overlay thing with moments of Ryn…and also moments with this other person. And I knew that I loved them, that I was in love with them, but to have that connection happen? I burst into tears.
Because I had known intellectually, but I felt it in a different way, deeply and truly, the simultaneousness of that love, the way it overlaps, and neither makes the other less, and there was love, and there is love, and whatever happens next there will be love.
#anon ask#I hope this helps anon#I have a lot of thoughts about love actually#edited to add tag for findability:#not all exits are made equal
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My thoughts about how still subcontionly Buck is still trying to get Eddie attention
We see in episode 4 how Buck wanted Eddie attention and he tried to get it in many ways:
The gym scene (literally he's showing his body and his technics at the gym like a an animal dance to get his girl)
2) The basketball order (He just bought a baskball with Amazon prime to just make Eddie see that he was interest in play with him)
3) The basketball play (He just show off with Chimney to make Eddie see that he's better than Tommy to play basketball but he isn't and also he hurted Eddie because at some point he didn’t know what else to do to make his jealousy going away and also we know it's a way to copy for Buck. Because when he was little he hurted himself so many times to get his parents attention. Hurting Eddie is like wanted to get all his attention)
But all these ways just make Eddie don't understand Buck at all. Also, Buck thought Eddie was pissed off by him but as Tommy said to him, Eddie was hurt that he made Buck feel left off
Also Maddie is the one saying to Buck that the way his brother was trying to get Eddie attention is wrong and so Buck felt like she was right
Then later Tommy show up and he kissed Buck, getting his attention and Buck had just a mid realisation to how he wanted to get 'someone' attention
Then next episode show Buck and Tommy date:
Eddie shows up (in a way Eddie get to see Tommy and Buck togheter not knowing that it was a date and in some ways Eddie was focused on Buck and Tommy because he said with an octave that he's happy they were hanging out. But Buck didn't want this time Eddie attention as he proceded to make a fool of himself. But Eddie is still focusing on them and later he leaves)
2) The coming out scene (Let's just said that this time Buck got Eddie attention. Because he was a little freaking out by it but then he peoceded to give Buck his support and be happy for him. But just his macro expression just show how he doesn’t get how Tommy is gay and the fact that Buck like someone else)
3) The bachelor party (Now, we get to see an Eddie that just told to Buck to dress with a couple costume in a party Eddie knows Tommy would be there and it's very telling. But also, Buck have finally Eddie full attention to just how Eddie reacts when Buck and Tommy huged in front of him and how Eddie heard Tommy not put a costume at all for Buck bachelor party knowing how much this means to Buck. Also the fact that we saw Eddie looking at Tommy while Tommy was yawing. Like why showing us that? But this time Buck didn't do it conciously but he changed his way to get Eddie attention and in some ways Eddie is focused of Buck and Tommy but he doesn’t know why yet)
Anyway that's it basically
#911 abc#my theories#buddie#buddie endgame#romcom#Buck attention#My attention#911 s7#911 7x04#911 7x05#911 7x06#jealous eddie diaz#Oblivious evan buckley#Oblivious eddie diaz#idiots in love#mutual pining#jealous buck#theories#911 speculation
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How Long Could We Be A Sad Song?
a/n: Well, it's here! The fic that I'm most anxious to write and post. Honestly, I wrote this and got inspiration when I was in my most upset and angsty mood. Which was a few months ago, and it's been sitting within the pages of Maddie (my writing notebook), and my drafts. And somehow through a very frustrating bout of Writer's Block, as well as, the fact that I was reminded and paired my own feelings to "Taylor Swift's You're Losing Me", put it into a moodboard and boom! This fic was born.
youtube
Normally, I'd dedicate this to a special friend. But this time, I'd like to deviate, and dedicate this to myself. Weird, I know. This time though, this fic will remind me that every emotion, and every feeling is valid and if vented properly, can and will flourish into something productive and beautiful.
Alright. That's enough talk from me. I hope you all enjoy the fic. And I also hope I didn't crush you, cause well... it's angst, what else can I say? 😆
Chris Evans x Secret Girlfriend!Reader
Requested: No
WARNINGS: Panic Attacks, Angst, Established Relationship, Relationship Drama, Sad Chris, Sad Dodger
Heartbreak Divider by @firefly-graphics
Enjoy!!!
*Y/C/F/M = Your Close Family Member
Outside, the night was quiet, and peaceful. The crickets calling into the night air, frogs singing in unison, adding to the ambiance. Even the noisiest neighbor seemed to have taken some time off from being the thorn on everyone’s side. But while the world seemed almost frozen, Y/n sat in her living room, her heart pounding in her ears, and a knot forming in the pit of her stomach after she told the Love of her Life that she wanted to end their 6-year relationship. The sad part was, Chris seemed so lost as Y/n’s words hung in the air.
“I-I don’t understand...” He finally said, looking up at her from resting his head between his legs, across their living room. The space feeling more like chasm the longer this dragged on.
“I know you don’t, Chris.” Y/n sighed, getting up from her chair, and kneeling beside Chris, before taking his trembling hands in hers, hoping to give him some comfort, knowing that he could spiral into a Panic Attack in his fragile state. She knew because, if she didn’t do it for herself, she’d do the same.
They let the silence of their built home surround them, like a warm blanket. Both knew that they were only delaying the inevitable, but they selfishly wanted to hang on to what little time they had left together.
Time felt like it slowed, as Y/n’s gaze remained focused on their joined hands. Taking her back to a time years ago, on a bench, when Chris first saved Y/n...
She had been touring New York with her family, unfortunately, the crowds were too overwhelming for her, and while they were forming their lines to enter the theater of some play, Y/n couldn’t focus her breathing long enough to look at the marquee, and her chest felt tighter and tighter, as she told *Y/C/F/M that she’d like to grab a bite from the stall she saw near a bench, a few ways back, and left before he/she/they could protest.
She took advantage of the open air, and tried to regulate her breathing, by taking slow deep breaths, before arriving and collapsing on the bench. Resting her head against the back of it and feeling and inhaling the passing fresh breeze. The tightness in her chest was still there, and she continued taking deep breaths in order to regulate her breathing, not even noticing the handsome stranger, standing next to her.
“Uh, hi! Excuse me? Miss? Ar-are you okay?” He greeted, his blue eyes gleaming, as Y/n took a big breath before answering.
“Huh. Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine, Sir. Just feeling a little overwhelmed. Is all.” She laughed, wiping her cheeks. Just noticing that there were tears running down them.
“I get that. No matter how many times you do this, or come here, it can still get overwhelming... May I?” The stranger asked, gesturing to the empty space next to her. To which she nodded and scooted over a little to give him some room.
He put his bag down between his legs, opened one of the pockets and pulled out a couple of tissues, before handing them to her. That Y/n gratefully accepted, dabbing at the corners of her eyes.
“The city is actually quite beautiful, but I’d prefer it if it didn’t have so many goings on, you know?” She said, breaking the comfortable silence that settled over them.
“Oh, I definitely know. It’s places like this right here, though, that helps.” He said, admiring the way the bench overlooked a cluster of buildings in the most picturesque way.
“Is that an invitation to meet here again?” Y/n laughed.
“Maybe... Are you going to take me up on it?” The stranger laughed, his face expressing hope.
“I might...” She smiled, holding her hand out, now being able to breathe easier.
“Y/n.”
“Chris.” He replied, taking it and shaking it.
It wasn’t until Y/n returned to the theater that she realized WHO she had just met. And it definitely took her a while to shake it off, and, even if it seemed like a fluke at the time, she was pretty sure that Chris winked at her from the stage that night.
She was thankful for how he helped her. And it just became a thing for them to do the other, even a couple years later, when Chris was presented a way to possibly earn money during the pandemic.
Y/n focused her gaze on the mantel, her mind wandering to when she and Chris first made this place into their home. Moving things around, deciding which items gets put on display, what color the walls are gonna be... Back when everything was possible.
“How time flies...” She trailed off.
“Y/N/N. Baby...” Chris cried, his voice breaking at the end. Which caused Y/n to swallow a sob too.
“How can I make this better? I can fix this for us.” He said, hopping down from the seat onto Y/n’s level on the floor.
“That’s the thing, Chris. You can’t.” Y/n cried, pulling her hands away, and wrapping them around herself, in an attempt to give herself some comfort, as well as ground her.
“This is the most cliche thing that I’ve ever said, but it’s not you, it’s me. I can’t handle it... It’s getting too much for me, and the sad thing is, it’s not even your fault, because it’s my own feelings, and you’re just doing your job...” She ranted, her heart going a mile a minute, her chest feeling tighter.
“Hey. Hey.” Chris said, gently taking her hands, placing one on his cheek, and cupping her cheek, allowing her to follow his breathing, slowing hers down.
They let time pass, just holding the other close. Letting the other’s presence bring their calm. Like always.
Chris has just realized how much of a colossal fuck up he just made. How the fuck did he not notice?! That Story went from wholesome to “What did I just do?!” in just a few hours.
His heart was racing a mile a minute, and he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Pacing back and forth on his balcony, the fresh air rendered useless in relieving him.
“Hey. Chris, everything’s going to be alright, okay?” Y/n said, putting one hand on his shoulder, getting his attention on her.
“Deep breaths. 2 seconds in, 3 seconds out. C’mon, Babe. Do it with me.” She smiled, helping him breathe through his attack.
Some time later, Y/n helped him onto their couch. Dodger hopping on next to Chris, allowing him to pet the little guy. She had left the room to grab him a glass of water. Which after handing it over to him, she sat down behind Dodger, hand on Chris’ knee, letting her presence and silent assurance say what words may fall short on.
“We can do this, Baby. We can work through this, fight it.” Chris said, pulling back to look at Y/n’s eyes, determined.
“No, Chris. We can’t. I can’t.” She said, pulling away, and standing so that she was facing away from him, the view from their window her only comfort in this moment.
“I know that you want to make this work, because you’re you. But I can’t let you. Do you really want to stay, when I feel like a ghost in my own relationship? I literally could send you the biggest most obvious sign, and I don’t think you’d hear me.”
“But I’m here, Y/N/N. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” Chris pleaded.
“Yeah. What happens when you need to go, Chris? When they need you to do something, again. And I have to see pics of you and her, knowing full well that that’s supposed to be me. On your arm, announcing our love and our relationship to the world. Taking on every comment, every hate, every piece of scrutiny, together. Instead, the world believes in that sham, because they don’t know I exist in your life.” Y/n cried, turning towards him, not even bothering to hold her tears back anymore.
Chris tried to reach out for her, but she took a step back. Not letting him hold her, knowing full well that if he did, everything will feel right, and she won’t be able to do what she needed to.
“This is just temporary, Baby. It’ll soon end, and at some point, we can walk out of those doors, and be able to show everyone.” Chris said, tears shining in his own eyes.
“You’ve been saying that for years. And honestly, you don’t even know when will it end exactly. And it’s destroying you. I know that you only did this to help your family, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your own happiness.” Y/n said with conviction, her gaze filled with so much intensity, Chris avoided it and made his way to their room.
“You know, I’m right, Chris.”
“Well, has it ever crossed your mind, that maybe, I’m doing this for us? That maybe, it isn’t just for myself and my family? But for our future together?” Chris yelled, exasperated.
“And you know, that I have never cared about any of that! I don’t care if you’re some world-famous actor, or some rich gazillionaire, or whatever. I care about you, Chris. I don’t know why you could never see that.” Y/n sighed in disbelief, turning away from Chris, heading out the door to grab her bags and leave, forever.
“Wait. Baby, please wait.” Chris said, grabbing her wrist, and holding it gently, not wanting to hurt her, but make one last stitch effort to make her stay.
“I love you, isn’t it enough? I’m all yours. No part of me is ever not going to be yours. We just need to hang in there a little longer.” Silence filled the air, Y/n remaining silent for what felt like hours, until she finally spoke.
“You know I will always love you, too, Chris. But I can’t stay and end up hating you as a result. I wouldn’t be able to survive that. I’m sorry.” She said, looking at his gorgeous eyes, committing them to memory, before pulling away, and continuing her short walk to the door.
She had one foot out the door, when she felt a small tug on her pant leg. Looking down at a sad Dodger, whining, begging her to stay.
“Hey, Bubba. Don’t be sad. I will never not love you. And I need you to make sure, your Daddy remembers that too. Can you do that for me?” She said, kneeling down and petting him while smiling through her tears, as Dodger barked in reply, licking her face.
“Alright. That’s my good boy.” Y/n said, giving him a final pet before nudging him away from the doorway, and closing it behind her.
The silence wasn’t as comforting without her there. Even as Dodger assumed his duties, nudging against Chris, as he petted him. He felt numb, like a huge chunk of himself was removed and no way to fill the hole.
“It’s just you and me now, Bud... Just you and me.”
a/n: You guys still good? I hope it wasn't too bad. I may need to write something to balance out the angst, but that'll be a while... 😬
Special thanks to the best girls in the world for encouraging me, and getting me through my panic attacks to finish this. I couldn't have done it without you. Love y'all! 🥹❤️
And I'm also pretty sure that this'll be the only Chris Evans as himself fanfiction I'll ever write or post... We'll see.
But will this be my last Taylor Swift x CE/Character song fic? Definitely not 😉
Until the next one! Stay safe and sane, Everyone 🫶
❤ Booky
Main Masterlist
Chris Evans Characters Masterlist
Taylor Swift x CE/Characters Songfic Masterlist 😉
Taglist: @nescavaneck @jiyascepter @royalwriteroftheuniverse @femefetalelevelingup
#chris evans fandom#chris evans x reader songfic#chris evans songfic#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans imagine#chris evans x reader#chris evans x y/n#chris evans x you#chris evans x female reader#chris evans angst#booky's written works#dodger evans#team chris#Spotify#Youtube#chris evans
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You will never be able to convince me that ACOSF was a good book. Let me explain.
1) It was a literal homicide for all the characters. Every. Single. One. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s from Nesta’s pov or what, but seriously, every single character basically became unlikeable? Rhys? Feyre (to an extent)? Cassian? Mor? Amren? Did Nesta really get much better?? Like no one was really likeable. Maybe Az being the only sane one. Elain showed some teeth which I liked but it still wasn’t the best.
2) Where was the plot? You’re telling me she only found troves and then killed one mortal/made queen? Before you argue, the fact we find out about Nesta’s literal powers in another series says a lot. Why didn’t we find out Nesta had silver flame power (WHICH IS THE NAME OF THE BOOK) in said book??????? Make it make sense. This book didn’t move the plot at all. Other than having the troves now. And killing the one crazy queen. The amount of times we were on the stairs was not needed. Nesta is a massive part of this universe, and yes, she can wield the troves. But everyone who is made can. So like what else could she have done? Something more im sure. I mean that’s why I think she was in HOFAS in the first place. To “conquer” the prison, get gwydion as her return of service, and show her powers. I get that the whole starborn thing needed to happen in HOFAS with Bryce but honestly Nesta needed more. And that’s another reason why people think she’s going to get another book, because what even happened in her book????
3) Nessian. Now here me out. Do we like smut? Yes. Do we like it when there’s actual romance involved? Yes. Did we truly get that? No. It’s been a while since I read this book because I just have no desire for a re-read. I’m sorry. But going from “my only regret in this life is that we did not have time. That I did not have time with you Nesta. I will find you in the next life” (ya I basically memorized it because I was kicking my feet at him saying that) to “I didn’t ask to be shackled to you either” after Nesta, a human turned fae, didn’t care about being called a mate? Like? Absolute homicide to Cassian’s character. Was the hike nice? No. Did he say nice things after she passed out? Yes. But like? I just think they deserved a better romance. And I just literally didn’t even know who I was reading when Cassian was involved. The guy that would crack jokes and just was loving? All of a sudden a mean person? To Nesta too? Like idk. It rubbed me the wrong way. They deserved better. The fact people actually want Eris and Nesta means it CLEARLY did not stick. Which means it was not convincing. No one says this about Feysand. They could have been FIREWORKS. But at times it genuinely didn’t feel like Cassian even liked her??? Where was the golden retriever energy? It was like the guy was on steroids the whole time and just blowing a fuse constantly. That was NOT the Cassian I remembered from ACOWAR. I mean idk maybe it was the fact the reluctant mate trope was just too difficult? The fact it started physically wasn’t my favourite either. Then it was so focused on that that it was like okay were are those romantic moments. “You’re not going to marry Eris” “no” “we will have no others” like that was romantic. Then the shackle thing literally happened the next day. Wtf.
4) Did I relate to Nesta’s issues and healing journey? A bit. But I just found it aggravating at times. I felt there was huge potential to dive into what it is to be the oldest sister. More into alot of things tbh. Her holding the line on Ramiel was a great moment, because she could finally protect people she cared about, but I wish that would have been implied more? Her journey seemed like a huge self insert and idk. It wasn’t as amazing as it could have been.
5) Nesta’s redemption? I don’t even like that word. I wanted people to begin to UNDERSTAND Nesta more. Not just be thankful she saved Feyre/Rhys/Nyx. Like a genuine understanding. Does Cassian? Ya I guess. Elain? It’s said she knew everything Nesta did and why. So yes she did. Az? Ya. He was literally the only one who wasn’t an asshole to her at any point lol. And I wouldn’t consider Elain and asshole to her either because she did just stand up for herself finally. Like imagine the comments you’d hear having Nesta as a sister (for real). But did anyone leave understanding Nesta, understanding why she was snarky and rude? No. Idk if that’s the point to create a divide or what. But seriously. I get Nesta to some degree now. Why did the characters not.
6) Nesta gaining friends was nice and I see why people cling to the Valkyrie. That was literally probably the best part of the book. And that’s saying something about the way the romantic pair was executed might I add. We weren’t obsessed with Feyre and Mor and Amren being friends. We were obsessed with Feysand. But the most you hear from ACOSF is about the Valkyrie.
7) Again. I never truly hated Nesta, but I didn’t necessarily love her after this either. I understood the character more, I saw her own dark thoughts, I saw how she felt, and I understood. But was she my favourite? No. I think her appearance in HOFAS, other than showing her powers (????), was to make Nesta more likeable. Because a lot of people still don’t like her. Like I said, I am PRO ARCHERON FOREVER, but I wanted more for Nesta. I wanted a lot for the girl.
8) The dreaded bonus chapter. I’ve said my opinion on this multiple times. Idk. It’s just hate for Elain that drives it tbh. It’s literally a copy and paste of the Nessian one from ACOMAF basically that if you put it in a plagiarism generator it would probably not pass. YET, it has literally desecrated the fandom. Completely. You literally can’t go anywhere without some ship war happening. And ya, I feed into it too being super pro Elriel because I love them. But damn. Imagine if this energy was put into, idk, theories of the plot? We would have figured out the Maas universe by now tbh. I wish it didn’t exist everyday. And to a lot of people it doesn’t, and I envy them. Life was simpler before the “did you read the bonus chapter” fiasco. And tbh I’m pretty sad that SJM hasn’t said a word about it. Or her publisher because it gets way out of line way too often. The actual love triangle has always been set up as Lucien/Elain/Az, and somehow we left the BC with a square??? Idek.
Overall, it just did not do Nesta or Cassian justice in my mind. It created way too many head canons, it made Cassian unlikeable in a lot of ways (why are you calling Mor beautiful?) and it just seriously destroyed a lot of characters.
I’m really hoping in Elain’s book we, idk, make amends finally? If I have to see another toe to toe battle between Nesta and Rhys I’m going to be sick. They are both right in ways, but I just can’t take it anymore. And this is what I mean about Nesta’s story not being one of UNDERSTANDING. Which is what she NEEDED. TO BE UNDERSTOOD. The rudeness, snarky comments, death glares etc just needed to be understood man.
#elain#elain x azriel#acotar series#pro nesta#pro archeron sisters#pro feysand#pro nessian#but they deserved better#pro elriel#sjm please put us out of our misery#give us the next book#make nessian great again#stop the ship wars
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Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 23
word count: 674
PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT
June 27, 1989
Dear Will,
I’m not gonna lie, I thought things between us would get at least a little awkward after you came out. I thought that maybe you’d stop wanting to hang out as often, that you’d pull away from embraces faster, or you’d start calling me “bro,” and “man,” to distance yourself from me, like you had during the Vecnapocalypse after the Almost Kiss™. But none of those things happened, and the fact that things are so ordinary is confusing the hell out of me.
I think I’m starting to imagine things. Things as in reciprocated feelings. The signs are all there. When we’re together, we’re always engaging in a form of physical contact; whether it be leaning against each other, laying in each other’s laps on the couch, or even holding hands (this only happens when we’re alone, but I’m gonna let it count), we always have to be connected in some way. When we’re talking with the Party, they often acknowledge us as a pair; we’re MikeandWill, not Mike and Will, and neither of us ever make it a point to correct them. When you came out, we all formed a group hug around you. But when we pulled away, everyone’s eyes drew to me for some reason. It was like they were waiting for me to come out, too, and they looked kind of confused when I didn’t say anything except “We love you, Will,” and “We accept you, no matter what.” But then again, I’m probably just fabricating all this in my head. I guess that makes for good content for my stories. Author problems, am I write? Get it? …I’ll see myself out.
Speaking of the Party, they have become absolutely fucking insufferable when it comes to discussing your love life. You claim there’s nothing to discuss, but the constant wagging eyebrows and teasing vocal inflections of our friends tell me otherwise. For instance, the other day, they were asking you about your dream man and the characteristics he’d have, both physically and personality-wise. In short, they wanted to know your Type™. I began to think of what they’d look like. What were their names? Were they creative too? Were they gay or bi? Did they watch Star Wars for Han or Luke? Did they like popcorn or pretzels? Or did they prefer a psychotic combination of the two like you do?
I braced myself for the impact, not wanting to hear what you had to say, because I knew I’d inevitably get hurt. And yeah, I know I said in one of my previous letters (Exhibit A: September 18, 1988) that I’d be fine if you’d just rejected me and I’d be grateful to have you just as a friend, but the more I think about it, I’d probably be just a little bit destroyed… demolished… decimated. Vocabulary. Cool.
But you took a deep breath and said, “Guys, this is kind of ridiculous. I don’t even have a type.” Dustin and Max called bullshit immediately, to which you responded, “Even if I did like someone, I wouldn't tell you guys who it was. If you must know, I like guys who are confident, emotionally intelligent, and tall. That good enough?” Everyone else seemed pretty satisfied with that answer, but while the conversation shifted to another subject, my mind could only focus on one word: tall.
I’m tall. Six feet and three inches tall, to be exact.
Yeah, I know, I’m not exactly confident (that version of me died when I came to terms with my feelings for you and what that meant in a wider social lens) or emotionally intelligent (maybe I am on paper, but in conversation? I have the emotional intelligence of a speck of dust), but I’m tall. I’m really fucking tall. So at least I have that going for me… right?
God, I sound so juvenile and desperate. But what the hell, I have one third of a chance with you, and that’s better than no chance at all.
Love,
Mike
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Redirected (Zayne x Rafayel)
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Synopsis:
Betrayed was the word that described what Rafayel felt when he realized that despite waiting for 800 years for the girl he loved, she fell for another man just like that, he was foolish to think that she would love him. However, it was odd how he started to feel something similar to a guy who also loved her.
Seriously? Is he really gonna give me a chance to love again? Especially when that man is a stone-faced, asshole who's a smartass and way too blunt for his own good. This is the opposite of what he likes! but that doesn't stop his feelings from falling through. Unfortunately.
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Genre: Fluff/Angst (Slow burn) + Unrequited love
Pairing: (Main Pairing): Zayne x Rafayel
(Side Pairing): Mc x Xavier
Notes: Hear me out on Zaynel/Rafayne please omg, It's just so good cause they're artist/doctor, and many more, give a chance to this ship. The first chapter, Zayne and Rafayel are still smitten by Mc! This will be cut into chapters, I'll post more soon!
Warning: Mc can be seen as a self insert/reader however that is not the main pairing, so instead of using You/Yourself I'm using She/her. If you do not like MLM please do not read it! The main pairing is already stated as Zayne x Rafayel! As the story progresses there is a possibility of adding extra warnings, I'll do that in each chapter. If you decide to continue reading. enjoy and please tell me your thoughts about it if you'd like!
I'm the only one beta-reading my work!
Credits: Images came from the official website of Love and deepspace, while the banner is created by me.
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I do not consent to stealing, translating, or putting my work in AI.
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This is insane.
The audacity of his crush to invite someone else to their date was not only insane, but it was also borderline cruel! How could she?
Rafayel grumbled to himself, looking at the food he was eating before shoving it in his mouth and chewing it angrily, they’re currently in Meow café, it all started when Rafayel decided to ask Mc out if she wanted to come by and pick him up to go to the meow café, and she seemed reluctant at first, but he insisted.
“Come on Mc, it’ll be a good date, promise! It’s on me if you agree” he whined, he was bored without her, she was the only reason he’d go out often and he kept complaining to Thomas about the lack of inspiration, which was due to the fact that his bodyguard had been way too busy for his liking, even if he visited their headquarters, he wasn’t allowed inside, and when he asked where she was, they’d tell him that she wasn’t even on duty, so if she wasn’t around where was she going? She wasn’t answering his calls either that day.
If it weren’t for her friend, he would have stayed there under the scorching heat till she came around. “Oh! Mr. Rafayel?” Tara walked to him, holding an ice cream that probably came from the company’s cafeteria. “Who are you?” He tilted his head, looking down at the woman, “My name’s Tara, you must be looking for Mc, right?” He nodded, crossing his arms before he looked at the time “Is she there? Her colleagues told me that she was out, but they didn’t know where” he sighed, it was really hot today, what’s the sun’s deal? Does it want him to die out here?
“Oh, it’s cause Mc got an injury on her hand, it’s not that bad but she needed to get some rest for it cause she can’t use any type of gun or anything that can strain her hand for the time being,” Tara said, licking the ice cream she was eating looking unbothered while Rafayel here looked outright terrified “What?!” he screeched causing Tara to jolt in surprise.
“She’s fine! She called me earlier to check on her things. If you want, I can give you her coordinates, although I was sure she gave you that already, I always see you around with her! And well Doctor Zayne and Xavier!” she shared, for some reason, Rafayel felt like she was doing this on purpose to get him riled up; which worked of course.
“Can I have her coordinates?” he almost looked pitiful in Tara’s eyes before she smiled “Yeah sure, I trust you enough! Mc talks about you frequently!” she grinned, showing him a QR code which he scanned immediately, although hearing what she said made his heartbeat faster. “She talked about me?” He murmured, scratching his cheek “What did she say?”
“Well,” she puts her finger on her lips before going into deep thought, “she said you’re always complaining and asking for her attention, it was frustrating sometimes” and that made Rafayel huff, so she’s been backstabbing him in front of her friends?
“But she does sound fond of you when she says those things though, kind of like a best friend” Tara finishes, putting her phone back into her pocket “It’s rare for her to talk about someone like that ever since you know, that happened” she was referencing about the death of Caleb and her grandmother which made Rafayel frown, she couldn’t be reached during those times and he went to visit her, she was staying in a temporary apartment, and it was a mess. Reminiscing about that made his heart clench, out of everything he disliked, seeing Mc hurt like that destroyed him. He went to at least try to cook something for her, but all he could do was soup, so he decided to just order takeout from a restaurant that specializes in customizable meals.
“I should go now; you can visit her in Akso Hospital! I visited her yesterday and she’s doing great!” Tara snapped Rafayel out of his thoughts before he nodded “Alright, I’ll see you around, thank you Tara” he waved goodbye to her before looking at his phone which pinpointed the location of Mc. “No problem, go get your girl Loverboy,” she said, waving goodbye as Rafayel stood there cheeks up to his ears red. “Jeez.”
During those times he never actually saw who Doctor Zayne was, cause when he visited, it was just Mc being there, and the nurse informing Zayne that there was a visitor, but that guy didn’t bother showing up, well he was busy apparently, which is great for Rafayel! He can spend some time with Mc.
“Mc” Rafayel called out to her, pouting as he went to sit down beside her, who looked alright, she didn’t have anything stabbing her arms, and it seemed like she was about to be released soon. “Rafayel! How did you get here?” she asked, surprised while Rafayel frowned, his face looking sour, “I got your coordinates from Tara, why didn’t you even call me?” he huffed, crossing his arms “Do you plan to hurt yourself without informing me when you get to the hospital? What happened to being punctual with me? What if I needed you for a job and suddenly you can’t cause you got your hand hurt?” he scolded her, and she looked down “Yeah, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my phone cracked when I was in n109 zone” She explained, playing with her fingers, “I couldn’t reach anyone except for Zayne and Xavier. I’m sorry”
Rafayel felt bad for scolding her before he sighed, gently caressing Mc’s hand before he held it. “It’s fine, I was more worried for you than angry about it.” He placed her uninjured hand to his cheek, nuzzling it and Mc looked taken aback before she smiled, rubbing his cheeks “Thank you Rafayel” He could get used to this to be fair. He liked the attention, the gentleness of his crush, however…
“By the way” he hummed, looking at Mc with an indescribable look, “Tara told me something” he continued, gripping on Mc’s hand a bit before giving her palm a bite, “She said you spent so much time with other people, Doctor Zayne and someone named Xavier?” Mc’s eyes widened before she started giggling “Are you jealous?” she said before Rafayel pouted, letting her hand go. “No! Why would I? You’d pick me either way!” he said, crossing his arms. Seriously, he was super confident during that time, and now look what happened. He didn’t expect that when he asked Mc out on a date, she was already in one with this Doctor Zayne! He was emitting a bad aura which made Mc sigh.
“I told you that I was busy, and I was with someone, but you complained if they’re much more important than you” She was feeling a headache coming to her, and It amused Zayne, considering she was usually the one causing the headache for him, this is interesting. Zayne was expecting a simple hangout with Mc when she got a call from an unknown caller, he didn’t expect it would be the guy that visited her and caused a lot of noise in the hospital back then was now sitting down eating his food angrily, Zayne kept a poker face before he went to eat his portion of the meal. “Nice to meet you, Rafayel” he stated, looking at Rafayel who glared at him “My name is Zayne, you were the one that a nurse informed me visited Mc during non-visitation hours?”
Rafayel sat up straight from that, pointing the fork at Zayne “Excuse you! Nobody stopped me!” Zayne didn’t bother to look at him anymore before he gave Mc some of his vegetables “Eat” he whispered to her, she was going to whine but if she did, it’d be two whiners in one area, no way she was going to do that, so she accepted her fate and begrudgingly takes the vegetables.
“Hey!” Rafayel pouted, looking at both of them, honestly, they looked like a couple, and it made his heart ache. “The reason why they didn’t stop you was because you rushed inside without stopping, the majority of nurses are women and what happens If a fully grown adult man came rushing into the room of a patient?” the audacity of this guy! He’s making it sound like he’s going to physically assault the nurses! “Luckily enough Mc here told the nurses not to call the guards, and to just inform me that someone broke the protocol. You should thank her that you weren’t thrown out.” Zayne stated, finishing the conversation before Rafayel could even say anything.
Rafayel continued to glare at Zayne, honestly now that he sees his fault, it was immature of him to just barge inside, but can you blame him? He was upset and worried for Mc! “I’m sorry,” He said, relaxing himself, and Zayne stared at him “Apology accepted, please don’t do that again." And that was it, end of conversation again, he was expecting retaliation from the guy, but he guessed he was the nonchalant type. Mc doesn’t seem bothered by it, as a matter of fact, she seems to like the silence while she eats. “It seems like you two would get along well!” she said as if the shenanigans that happened just a few minutes ago didn’t happen, “Doctor Zayne already introduced himself, why don’t you introduce yourself too?” Mc went to get a drink before gulping it down, and Zayne was looking at her again. Why aren’t they paying attention to Rafayel much? This hurts his ego.
“I was thinking that Doctor Zayne already knows about me,” he chided, wanting to tease this prick of a doctor, crossing his arms. “Your name was repeated multiple times, and you almost got framed for murder, yes?” Zayne said, wiping the tissue on his lips, elegant asshole. “What? Where did you even hear that from?�� He looked confused, isn’t Zayne an outsider?
“Mc and I went to investigate that matter before, so I know about the case” He answered, as if reading Rafayel’s thoughts, it was easy to read the guy, he was like an open book because of his reactions, like Mc. Rafayel looked away awkwardly “Case solved! You don’t need to bring that up,” he grumbled, just how much did Mc spend time with this guy? He heard a chuckle from Zayne, “From what I heard you’re quite a disaster, always attracting trouble, or creating trouble for yourself” he said and Rafayel’s cheeks turned beet red from embarrassment “Shut up!”
“See,” the banter was stopped when Mc giggled “you two do get along!”
“No we don’t,” Rafayel glared at her, words coming out harshly and firmly “I find teasing him entertaining, it is nice to finally put a face to the name, Rafayel, some of my acquaintances are fans of your works” Zayne looked at him, stone-faced, unlike Rafayel, this guy wasn’t easy to understand, everything he says, he states it in a monotone voice, his face remaining neutral, the perfect doctor face or whatever, It’s the polar opposite of him. It makes him worried that Mc doesn’t like him because of his expressions, maybe she likes a guy like Zayne.
Then a phone started ringing, it was a girly ringtone which surprised Mc, looking at her phone she noticed it was Xavier, making her smile unknowingly, “I gotta take this, give me a second” She looked at Zayne who nodded, while she just waved at Rafayel who looked like he was ready to whine about it. Leaving him with this guy? Especially in a café where lovers are usually around? Call him dramatic but this is definitely not something he wants to stay in, when he was about to stand up when Zayne suddenly talked.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, drinking the coffee he ordered, Rafayel flinched before sitting back down “I was going to get water, it’s self-serving here you know.” Rafayel lied, looking away, why is he even avoiding eye contact? This guy has nothing on him. “Mc would be sad if you suddenly left just because she got a phone call.” He hummed, fixing their table cleaning it out of the empty dishes, and asking the waiter to clean it. It made Rafayel confused, but he stayed sat as told. “How about we play kitty cards while we wait?” he smiled.
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Word Count: 2,105
#l&ds rafayel#love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#lads zayne#zayne x reader#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#xavier#lnds xavier#tara love and deepspace#Zayne x rafayel#Rafayel x Zayne#hear me out#please please please#it's a good ship#crackship#angst#love and deepspace angst#xavier x mc#xavier love and deepspace#long fic
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so many people have said that as you approach your 30’s things start to fall into place but I don’t feel that at all. the closer I get the more it feels that everything is dissolving and falling apart
#it’s not all in a bad way!#I’m hoping Wendell Berry is right and it may in fact be that when we have lost our way our real journey begins#and there is something where in the dissolution of certainty God enters and directs us the way He wants us to go#and reminds us that we’re not strong and independent from Him but children in His hands#but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the certainty of 2018/22/younger Maria#I don’t quite know this new self#except for teaching everything is uncertain and I sort of daren’t pick up the colored pencils of life to do anything with them#I guess that’s what makes me really grateful for teaching#it’s firm and sure contact between me and the outside world#but everything else is just drifting and I am at sea!#anyways I am so sorry for putting personal self-reflection and analysis on your dash on this Easter morning#ewww ugh disgusting blegh I’m sorry#but trying to gain some clarity through words#Happy Easter! thank you for listening!! praying for you all
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Still can’t wrap my head around how Izzy shooting Ed was supposed to symbolize him “breaking up with Blackbeard” and have them go through that whole thing at the beginning of the season, to have Izzy be the one who tells Ed to follow what makes him happy, and have Izzy’s whole arc be about who he is without Blackbeard just for the finale to turn around and say that Izzy had to die because he was half of Blackbeard and that Ed couldn’t fully let go of Blackbeard otherwise.
#by all accounts it doesn't make sense#Izzy stopped caring about Blackbeard when he stopped following Ed’s orders and started going with the crew#when he told Ed he wouldn’t kill him#he had his figurative death when he tried to shoot himself and Blackbeard had his literal death when the crew killed him#when he’s fucking doing his whole speech saying that piracy isn’t about glory or fame it’s about the community it’s about the crew#the fact that they said that they just didn’t know what else to do with Izzy’s arc so dying was the best conclusion is INSANE to me#like im so hung up on this#blackbeard WAS us#YEAH WAS#dont get me started on how izzy used his fk dying breath to take the blame for everything just protecting others til the very end uh#izzy hands#him telling ed that the crew loves him and then he just....leaves#bitch the crew LOVED YOU#the whole “blackbeard was us i needed him” does gut me a little bit tho ngl like oof can yall stop being tragic for 2secs 😔#anywayyyyy sorry if im being rly negative i dont want to be truly im just upset#it’s like I understand what they were going for but when you put it next to everything that’s happened it’s like ….idk#“izzy keeps the story of Blackbeard alive by being alive!!” and ed doesnt ???#hes literally the face of Blackbeard#so he gets to change and grow and become something else and live as that but izzy cant?#you cannot kill a whole by just getting rid of half#izzy was moving past Blackbeard i just what the fuck is UP#“its cause ed is the mc and izzy is just the side character there to be a device for his growth”#ok well then dont have that characters whole motivation be about actualizing himself as his own person for a whole season#ofmd critical#ofmd
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