Happy Birthday, LoZ! And a very Happy Birthday to the best lad, Hyrule!

Here's a little ficlet to celebrate the occasion.

Surprises (Ao3)

Linked Universe | G | 955 words

Hyrule forgets that today is a special day. Luckily, Legend remembers for him.

Legend had been acting weird all day.

First, that morning he’d practically dragged Hyrule away from the rest of the group under the pretense of needing a partner to scout out a nearby area. That wouldn’t have been too strange if not for the fact that everyone else was staying around the camp, strategizing and preparing for their next move. But Hyrule was always glad to help out, especially when it meant spending more time with Legend, and so he’d gone along with it. 

After that, they’d come upon an eerie (and very interesting) looking cave and the veteran had suggested they explore it. 

“Wait, really?” Hyrule had asked, surprised. “But you hate going anywhere without a map!”

“Well, sometimes I’m fine with it,” Legend had countered. “So, are we going in or not?”

They had, of course, gone in. 

It was every bit as fun and exciting as Hyrule had thought it would be, but there was always that nagging suspicion at the back of his mind.

Legend was hiding something, he could tell. The tough part was figuring out what.

When they finally returned to camp, Hyrule was still just as stumped as ever. The veteran hadn’t given any hints as to what could possibly be going on, and when Hyrule had questioned him had stubbornly denied anything being amiss.

Tired and confused, Hyrule flopped down on a nearby log and sighed.

“Everything all right?” Twilight asked. He was sitting over to his right, ignoring Warriors who had just cracked his latest dog joke. They hadn’t stopped since Twilight’s secret had gotten out, and the rancher looked thoroughly finished with the whole ordeal.

Hyrule shrugged. “Legend’s just been acting strange today. I hope nothing’s wrong.”

Twilight grinned. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry. I’m sure everything’s just fine.”

Hyrule narrowed his eyes. The rancher sounded almost too casual. But he was already turning away to swat at Warriors and so Hyrule left it alone.

Dinner passed without anything odd happening, and Hyrule gradually found himself relaxing. Maybe nothing was wrong at all. He certainly hoped that was the case. 

But then, as everyone finished the last bites of their meat skewers, Wild stood up. 

“Roolie, we’ve got a surprise for you.”

Hyrule’s eyes widened. “Oh…really?”

Grinning like a kid on Hylia’s Day, Wild nodded. He scooped something up from the ground beside his pouch, and walked over, cradling it carefully in his hands. Hyrule leaned forward to see what it was. 

“Here!” 

Wild held out a small plate. Resting atop it was a miniature cake, complete with what looked like chocolate frosting and a tiny garnish of berries. It was so pretty, Hyrule hardly wanted to eat it. 

“We all found the ingredients!” Wind piped up, happily. “And Wild made the cake!”

“But the person who masterminded this whole operation,” Warriors said, with a mischievous smirk, “was none other than our grouchy vet!”

He pulled Legend into a one-armed hug, and Legend shoved him off, cheeks pinking with embarrassment.

“Well, it’s not like you were gonna tell anyone when your birthday was,” he muttered, scowling. “And you deserve to have your special day, Roolie.”

A wonderfully warm feeling washed over him and Hyrule found himself blinking to clear the mist suddenly over his eyes.

“Thanks, guys,” he said, with a smile. “Really, you didn’t have to do this.”

“Of course, we did!” Wind exclaimed. “We weren’t gonna let you go without a birthday!”

“It’s just not right,” Twilight agreed.

“Well, I appreciate it.” He looked around the group, a sheepish grin lifting his lips. “To be honest I kinda forgot what today was so, this was a really nice surprise.”

“I knew it,” Legend said. He had managed to stop glowering at his boots and was now smirking knowingly at Hyrule. “Only you would forget your own birthday.”

Hyrule chuckled. It was true, of course. He just had never felt much need to hold the day in high esteem. He had been born, he had life—end of the story. There was no reason to make a huge deal out of it. Especially now, with so much at stake, and the group just coming down from Twilight’s near-death experience. Drawing undue attention to himself was the last thing Hyrule wanted. 

But it had been far too long since he’d gotten a good surprise. And he had to admit, it felt really, really nice.

“Now, dig in!” Wild said, excitedly. “That cake isn’t gonna eat itself!”

He laughed and took a huge bite. It was even more delicious than he had expected.

Later that night, as he was dragging out his sleeping roll, ready to nod off with a full belly and a happy heart, Hyrule felt a hand settle on his shoulder. He turned and found Legend there, looking slightly uncomfortable. 

He frowned. “Everything okay, Vet?”

“Yeah, I just–here this is for you.” Legend held out a bit of balled-up tissue paper and dropped it into Hyrule’s open palm.

Curious, Hyrule pulled aside the paper to find a brilliant gold ring within, studded with emeralds. 

“It helps keep your strength and stamina up while you’re using magic,” the veteran explained, with a small smile. “That way you won’t get so tired when you have to cast powerful spells.”

Hyrule blinked rapidly. “Leg you-you didn’t have to…”

Legend rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I did. It’s your birthday!” 

A beat passed, then the veteran spoke again, this time tentatively. “Do you like it?”

Hyrule smiled and slipped the ring onto his finger. It fit perfectly. Lunging forward, he captured Legend in a hug.

“I love it! Thanks, Vet.”

For a moment, Legend was stiff. Then, slowly he relaxed and gently wrapped his arms around Hyrule.

“Happy birthday, Roolie.”

(Possibly Triggering) Kind of a self comforting request, but could we get a story where the reader has bulimia and Eddie kind of puts the pieces together and tries to help? Like a hurt/comfort fic?

just want to say I love u and u got this <3 been there and I know u will be okay. hopefully this helps you feel a lil better for the time being x

I wrote this from Eddie's pov because I think it fits quite well. :)

cw/tw for eating disorders, vomiting, body image issues, difficult convos. Eddie and reader fight and make up. fem!reader, petnames, angst, fluff. hurt/comfort. [3.3k]

-

Eddie worries about you. He thinks it's normal, and he's sure you'd agree; he can't help it and doesn't wish to stop. He worries about you walking home from work at dusk, worries about you when you're out with friends, bar-hopping in downtown Hawkins, worries about you when you don't get dinner because work ran over and you want to sleep. He also knows you're an adult who can take care of herself so he worries from afar most days, but today he can't let it go.

So far, since you arrived at his trailer four and a half hours ago, he's asked you if you're okay seventeen times. The last one was an hour ago, when you snapped at him to stop.

You've just finished a six-day work week and now you're dozing on his lap while he reads a book, fingers carding through your hair. He's soothed by the almost imperceptible sound of your breathing and the feeling of your chest expanding and deflating beside his thigh, so he's very content to stay where he is and let you get some rest. You never snap at him. He thinks you must be tired.

Eventually he feels you stir, twisting round so you're on your back, head still resting on his lap so you can look up at him. He peeks down at you over the top of his book and it makes you giggle, a broken, sleepy laugh that he can't help but smile at. You rub your eyes and reach past your head to stretch, arching your back off the bed and sighing.

"Good sleep?" he asks softly, turning down the corner of his page and closing the book. He drops it unceremoniously on the bed beside your hip.

You hum in response and he takes it as an affirmative. His hand, fingers splayed, moves to rest on your stomach under your shirt, and you wince and laugh again at the contact.

"Your hands are so fucking cold!"

"Sorry," he says through a grin, slightly disingenuous. "You are boiling. My own personal furnace."

"Mm," you hum happily. You're in a good mood, clearly better for the hour of sleep. "What're you readin'?"

You reach beside you and take the book, bringing it over your head to squint through sleep-fuzzy eyes at the cover. As his hand smooths up and down your stomach, he begins to tell you.

"Mike let me borrow it. It's a fantasy series, he said it's really good."

"Hm, it looks like a Mike book."

"What does that mean?!" he laughs, incredulous at your insinuation.

"I dunno, it just looks like those graphic novels you guys read."

He can't argue with that; the cover is a vibrant cacophony of mythical creatures, treasure and dungeons and fire.

"Well, it's good so far," he says playfully, snatching the book from you and hanging it out of reach. You squirm to take it back, arms extended up, giggling when his splayed hand inches up and digs into your side.

"C'mon," he says, throwing the book to the other side of the room and ignoring your teasing protests at his abuse of something so precious. "We gotta have some dinner."

You physically deflate when he says this, and the worry creeps back, settling uncomfortably under his skin. He watches your arched back lie flat against his bed and the smile lines disappear from beside your eyes. On your stomach his hand resumes its soothing, this time partly for you but partly for himself, too.

"What d'ya wanna eat?" he tries, dodging your body language and hoping he's misreading it.

You hum again, a sad and uncertain sound, before saying, "not that hungry."

"Oh, come on," he says, hoping his tone is playful enough that you don't notice that he's playing a part. "You've not eaten all day."

Groaning, you roll over and look away from him. Now he can only see the back of your head and the side of your face, but even then he can still make out the disgruntled look on it. His hand is on your side, where it slid as you turned over, so he continues his attempt to soothe you while he tries again.

"How 'bout some fries? Got some in the freezer, I can just shove 'em in the oven."

He listens to your breathing as you fail to answer him, and wills himself to not get frustrated. This has happened before, your tendency to avoid this conversation, and even when he's tried to ask why he gets nowhere. Over the many months you've been together, plenty of which you've spent almost living with each other, he's not failed to notice the strange ways you interact with food, and slowly but surely he's been piecing it together.

He also knows this is something you have to come to him about, so he'll wait for you. Forever, if he has to. And while he does, he just wants you to get some decent meals in.

Finally, you roll back over and look at him. Your expression is strange, almost sad but also smooth and there are no worry lines. He hopes this is because he's calmed you down.

"Okay," you say, smiling, and his heart does a skip. "Fries sound great."

He leans down, one hand back on your stomach and the other in your hair, and kisses you. It's stilly and awkward because you're at a ninety-degree angle, but he dots more up your nose and across your forehead, relishing in your light giggles.

"Up ya get," he demands, hands creeping underneath you to push you up and off his lap. As he slides out from under you and swings his legs round to stand, you let yourself flop back down onto his bed, into the warm indent he left behind. He watches you curl up in a ball on your side and dramatically shove your face into the comforter, sniffing loudly with your nose scrunched.

"You're so fucking weird," he declares as he stands over you with his hands on his hips. You look up at him, pouting, batting your eyelashes. "And beautiful, of course," he adds, grinning. He leans down again and kisses your cheek, lingering for a second to feel you smile. You reach up and hold the side of his face, thumb on the apple of his cheek.

When he stands back up, he shoves his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and says, "you stay there, I'll give ya a shout when they're done, okay?"

"Okay," you respond, wriggling to get comfortable and shutting your eyes again. He leaves you be, closing the door softly behind himself, though not before stealing a look at you splayed on his bed dozing off.

He busies himself with dinner, putting some fries from the freezer into the oven. He tries his hand at cooking some vegetables, too, because he wants you to have some balance. As he chops carrots and broccoli and fills a pan with water for boiling, he thinks about the fact that he has never before in his life felt this dedicated to another person. He doesn't feel like what he imagines parents feel like, but he does want you to have the best of everything, all the time. It's a strangely comforting realisation.

As everything cooks, he creeps back across the trailer to his room, where he prises open the door and treads inside quietly. You're asleep again, uncurled somewhat from the ball he'd left you in. He watches you for a moment, enjoying how peaceful you are, face squished into the comforter and hair all over the place.

He steps over to the other side of the room and finds the book he'd thrown earlier. Picking it up, he leaves the room and retakes his spot on the counter by the stove.

He only gets one more chapter in before the timer dings. He drains the vegetables and plates them with the chips on two plates, giving you a few more for good measure, and then he returns to his room to gently shake you awake.

When you stir and attempt to grumpily protest, he says, "food's ready, c'mon."

You stretch again, like a cat basking in the sun, and get off the bed slowly, rubbing your eyes. You follow him to the kitchen and he watches you as your hunger seems to take over. Sitting down at the table, you say, "thanks, Eds," and start eating, seemingly without thinking – vegetables first, as always. He eats too, though always with his eye on you.

When you get halfway through the chips, he sees your expression change. It shifts from a peaceful one to one that is unmistakably uncomfortable, though you carry on, stealing worried glances at him every now and then.

"Okay?" he asks fondly, hand laid on the table for you, an offering. You don't take it, though.

You hum and put your fork down. Wordlessly, he takes both plates and sets them on the side, while you get up and take a seat on the couch. He can tell there's something bothering you but chooses to let you come to him, so he just joins you, switching the TV on as he passes it on his way. He wraps you in one arm and you settle, still silent, into his side, watching whatever mindless show is playing.

A few minutes pass of this quiet, and though he doesn't mind, he, of course, worries.

You wriggle out from beside him and stand, saying "be back in a sec."

He watches you head to the bathroom and shut the door. Willing himself to leave you alone, he tries to focus on the television. But you don't come back, and after a few minutes he decides he'll busy himself with the dishes.

And then he finishes the dishes, and you're still in the bathroom, so he reads some more, perched back on the kitchen counter.

But after another chapter, you're still in there.

So he gives in.

Knocking softly, he murmurs, "you okay in there?"

He hears some shuffling, and the sound of the toilet lid closing and the flush. And then you say, loudly, "yes, Eddie, I'm fine thanks," with a sharpness that makes him wince. That same sharpness as earlier, when he'd asked you if you were okay for the seventeenth time.

Except this time, he's not taking a lie for an answer. 

"Honey, I know something's wrong. Talk to me."

You're silent on the other side. He knows this silence; this is you thinking.

He waits on the other side of the door for you. It takes you a couple of minutes but he breathes a sigh when he hears the lock click. You peek out from behind the door and he feels his stomach drop when he sees your eyes.

You're all blotchy, skin wet and raw, and it's very clear you've been crying.

"What's going on?" he says quietly. "Please talk to me."

You sigh, close your eyes, and open the door slowly. He makes room for you to come out and, turning the light off on your way, you stand in front of him and look down at your hands.

"I can't," you say, voice pained.

"Why though? It's only me," he responds, voice equally as sad.

"Eddie, I just can't, I don't know, I-"

"I'm not taking that. It's what I'm here for, I want to look after you."

"I don't need you to look after me," you say coldly.

"Oh, don't give me that."

"I don't, though."

"Yes you do," he insists.

"No, I don't."

"You clearly do."

"Stop being mean."

"It's okay," he urges you.

"No, it's not."

"It's okay," he repeats.

"Eddie, stop it."

"It's okay to need looking after, you know."

"No, it's not! I'm an adult, I should be able to eat a fucking meal and not throw it back up afterwards," you snap.

Eddie doesn't say anything. He can't, too stunned by your confession.

Scrunching your face when you realise what you've admitted, you push past him with your shoulder and a groan.

"Stop," he says, holding his arm out for you but you're too quick for him, striding through the living room to his bedroom. Hot on your heels he follows you and wedges himself between the door and the frame as you try to shut it.

You're crying now, and he's nearly there himself because this is his fault.

"Please just let me help," he pleads, letting himself in and standing on the side of the bed closest to the door. You're around the other side, facing him, hiding your face in your hands. "I want to know what I can do."

"There's nothing you can do," you say through wet hiccups.

"I can listen," he tells you. And he means it – it's all he wants to do.

You heave a deep breath and lower your hands. He nearly falls to his knees when he really sees you, your tired eyes and wet face, but he holds his resolve and stands patiently.

You sit, giving up, back to him. He sits too, with his back to you, knowing that if you wanted to you could ask him to turn around, or sit next to him. Perhaps not having to look at him will make it a bit easier for you.

"I can't do this," you sigh behind him. He feels his heart break at the break in your voice, but focuses on listening to you.

"It's just me, baby," he says. "I'll wait here 'til you can."

The bed bounces beside him as you flop down on your back, the same way you did earlier – only this time you're exasperated, groaning. There's no giddiness, no giggles. He hates it.

"It's been happening for years," you tell him.

"What has?"

You're quiet for a minute, before you say, "me being sick after I eat."

"You make yourself sick, right?"

He's been looking straight ahead, but now he twists to look down at you. Around your head your hair's splayed everywhere and even when your eyes are all red round the edges and swollen, he thinks you look like an angel.

Toying with your hair, his fingers dance their way to your scalp, where they rest on your forehead. Between your brows he smooths the skin that's scrunched in concentration and feels you relax ever so slightly under his touch.

"Yeah," you sigh. "I wish I could stop."

"How long's it been goin' on?"

"A few years. On an' off since I was, like, fourteen."

"That's so long," he says. And then he tries, "Ever had help for it?"

"Once," you answer, "in high school. Worked for a bit but it started again when I left."

"I love you," he reminds you.

"Love you too," you say back, letting your eyes close and keening into his hand where it now rests on the side of your face. "Sorry I never told you."

"It's okay," he assures you.

"I shoulda said something, instead of sneakin' off after meals."

"It's okay, really. Just glad I know now."

After a beat, you say, "I've never told anyone before. Except the therapist, obviously."

"I'm honoured," he says with a low laugh, though he means it. "You're the most important thing to me, ever. I'll do whatever ya need."

You reach up and hold his wrist, and use it to pull yourself up to spin round and sit next to him. Resting your cheek in his shoulder, you hum, and he brings his arm around you, smoothing it up and down your arm.

"Wanna eat anythin' else?"

"Hm, no. Can we go out for breakfast, though?"

"Sure can, sugar. Benny's?"

"Yes please," you say, grinning. Bringing your legs up, you swing one over Eddie's thighs so you're straddling him, and wrap your arms around his neck. 

"Thank you," you murmur into his neck. The vibration tickles and he squirms underneath you. Bringing his arms around your middle, he squeezes back.

"Nothin' to thank me for, baby."

You pull back and hold his face in your hands, surveying his face with a funny expression.

"What?"

"How'd I land such a handsome-" You kiss his face to punctuate each word. "-Smart, kind, brilliant boyfriend?"

"Dunno," he responds, kissing back. "Same as I dunno how I landed a gorgeous, brave, perfect girlfriend."

You kiss the skin under his ear and again on his jaw.

"Wanna go to bed?" he whispers as you look at him. Your faces are an inch apart, so you rest your forehead on his and close your eyes.

"Yeah," you breathe, the air warm on his face, and he can't help but chase it and lean in to kiss you. He does so softly, feather-light, and when you break away you say, "don't, I probably taste gross."

"Don't care," he replies, kissing you again, warm and like home.

"Seriously, Eds," you giggle against his mouth, pushing firm palms on his chest. "I gotta brush my teeth."

"Nuh-uh," he says loudly, gripping you hard around your waist with his arms. "Hold on," he warns. With all his might he lifts you, with his hands slid under your thighs, as he stands. When he does he wobbles a bit, making both of you laugh into each other's mouths, and as he regains his balance he walks you across the room. You kiss sloppy, happy marks down his neck and across his shoulder through his tattered old t-shirt, while he makes his way to the bathroom where he sits you on the lid of the toilet.

Once he's rinsed it and added toothpaste, he hands you your toothbrush and does the same to his own. You stand there in relative silence, brushing until you're satisfied. When you spit in the bowl he jabs your side and you make eye contact in the mirror, where he makes to spit into your hair. You wriggle away, squealing, hands covering the crown of your head, and he laughs as he stands back up, rinsing both brushes again and replacing them in the cup. After a routine splash of water to your face, which you swat away as always, he takes your hand and follows you back to the bedroom.

"Love you," he tells you as you lie in bed, slotted into one another.

There are a thousand other things he wishes he could tell you, too, like how he's pretty sure he'd be dead in a ditch somewhere if it weren't for you, because he can't seem to keep his own head screwed on right most days; like the fact that even though you hate him telling you this, he loves nothing more than when he comes home from a gig to find you asleep, mouth hanging open, drooling all over his pillows; and like the fact that he's certain now that this is all that he wants, forever, and that he knows he's gonna marry you.

Maybe he will tell you that one. One day.

-

Sweater Weather. | J.JH (M) Part 3 <3

prologue- “I want you.” + “I want to look at your face as we do it.”

tw- friend’s older brother!jaehyun x fem!y/n. sungchan is jaehyun’s younger brother. y/n has the fattest crush on jae and he finds it rly cute. Fluff and SMUT in this part <3. Soft smut. Soft dom jaehyun. Praising. Jae wants to take care of y/n. After care mention. Mirror is in use <3

notes- Heavily inspired by Sweater Weather By Neighbourhood. <3

tag list- @kae-t-eee <3 @j69no <3 @back2jisung <3 @pretiurs @seodami <3 @humongouscowboyskeletonranch <3 @hwaluvx <3 @caramelhyunn <3 @seokjinnjuice <3 @ytzvivi <3

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It’s been a few weeks since the romantic confession between you and jaehyun. Your relationship with him was just the beginning.

Though the small sneaking about together behind Sungchan so he wouldn’t question why you two are suddenly really close, it somehow made you feel like you were in a romantic movie.

The days you guys weren’t able to meet one another (and you weren’t at the dorm but at your parents home), he would surprise you by gently throwing stones at the edge of your window, surely to wake you up. Then you come down from the front door and star gazing all night with him in a field behind your house.

You’d surprise him with made up lunchboxes when he would drop you secretly to uni on days you were running late, before leaving, you kiss him on the cheek leaving him flustered.

But now it’s been five days you haven’t seen him physically. Every uni student currently is going through it, their sleep schedule said goodbye and so did their will to continue. You know what this means. It was exam season. The most fearful thing that a university student could possibly hear.

The peers of pressure to pass the marking slot, the competition between their colleagues was high up on the list. Hell it felt like.— while teachers and professors somehow expect you to keep up with homework piles that are strangling your room in half as well as revising for the exams you have in just about few hours AND turn up to class too. It wasn’t easy. Far from it.

Nobody warned you how university was going to be stressful. Despite it having many good things to boost about, it can’t really compete to the stress you will get.

You blow on your lips following by a harsh sigh. You’ve been pulling at your hair for a while now as you wrote down on the very important fact to the success of hopefully passing. In the library that you’re residing in, there weren’t many people. Just a few plus the librarian.

Then a beeping vibration set you from the focusing zone you have brought yourself in. The phone screen flicking on with a green notification. You didn’t think much of it, so you pick it up without much emotions. Apathetically slandering the fact you’re so close to just slamming a book on someone’s head.

Yes you do have your frustrated moments. The tired droopy eyes watch the screen as you unlock it, your lips fall apart, your eyes immediately forcing in an eye-smile.

“My love <3”: hey baby i know it’s exam week but how do you feel about coming over? sungchan won’t be home because he will be doing a study sesh with his friends.

“My Girl <3”: hey bb imma come over then. i really need to see you </33 this close to having a mental crisis in this shit holeeee ;_;

“My Love <3”: this is a first i ever saw you swear and it was over exams, must be really hard for you :( don’t worry i’ll get your favourite ice cream and put on pitch perfect <3 mwah

“My girl <3”: you’re a life saviour babe. i’ll see you soon mwah

a hand slams down on the table causing you to nearly drop your phone, you’ve been lovestruck staring at the screen repeating yours and Jaehyun’s conversations that you completely ignored that the boy standing next to you now was speaking.

“yah what are you reading so intensely, it really didn’t look like exam revision.” Sungchan would say as he sat down on your table. you thickly laugh as you put the phone away. “of course it was revision. what else would i be looking at.”

you play it off cooly and calmly, turning back on the multiple books you brought to help. sungchan unzips the bag, pushing down the science books.

“i thought you were texting your boyfriend or something because you had this very goofy smile that only happens when you love someone.”

he was still completely unaware that you was dating his brother and honestly, it might shock him quite a bit. you would rather give it some privacy between you and jae before finally coming out to announce it

your eyes widen a tiny bit before awkwardly stuttering. your hands shake in front of the boy as you go to deny it. but another thing interrupts you and sungchan. The boy smiles.

“sungchan hey,” a much younger looking boy spoke as he turns to face you. Sungchan grins. “shotaro!”

“oh yeah so y/n, this is my friend shotaro. shotaro this is y/n, the one who tutored me.” the young boy beams and you turn around bowing your head politely to shotaro. the Japanese bot sits down next to sungchan with a bright smile.

Shotaro kindly speaks as he watches you. “nice to meet you y/n.”

“you too shotaro. are you perhaps going studying?” you raise your eyebrows at the two boys who hum agreement in unison. looks like he’s actually going on study dates with shotaro, how cute. sungchan opens the book.

“i’m meeting shotaro with two other boys, Chenle and jisung, in our year. we’ll be at the boys dorms most of the night.”

you would wow proudly, watching sungchan finally doing study sessions on his own without it your help. there ran something so in your blood that would make you feel like you’re watching a friend who was getting independent finally. it really made you happy, more happy than about your own achievements. Shotaro gently sways leaning to y/n.

“do you want to join us y/n? the more the merrier.” shotaro said and you’d raise your head with a soft smile. “I appreciate the offer but i think i’ll just go home or something. i’ll be fine for tomorrows exam.”

sungchan boosts braggingly as he whispers to shotaro, but the whispering was clearly loud enough for you to hear in the dead silent library. “taro don’t worry about her, she’s the prodigy. there’s no way she will fail any of her exams .”

shotaro gently gasps watching y/n. he heard about the female prodigy but never did he think it would be you, or the fact that he’d meet her.

“y/n you’re the infamous student who has 100 on their classes?” the boy whispers loudly. you blink lightly confused.

why was it a big deal? you rub your neck nervously. “uhm yeah but it’s not a big deal.”

“don’t be so modest y/n! my brother is a prodigy as well and he complimented you so much. clearly it is a big deal, a thing to be proud of. so take claim to it.” sungchan bluntly tells as he shakes off your humble demure. Shotaro looks at Sungchan.

he frowns looking the tall boy up and down from where he sat next to. “if your brother is the prodigy, what happened to you?”

Shotaro blurts out and Sungchan’s jaw drops to the floor, ears growing lightly pink. he pouts soon as he scoffs. “yah what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean…you don’t have the best grades. If your bro is so smart what’s up with you?”

“i’m not a biologist so i dunno! i guess he took all the brain genes with him.” sungchan murmurs silently sulking at shotaro’s blunt questions. y/n would smile watching the two boys lightly bicker and speak amongst themselves now.

you soon bid goodbye to sungchan and shotaro when it got much darker, by the time you left the library and the university campus it was 8.00 at night. you would be knackered to say the least, you’re feeling by the time you finish this week’s exam your brain will be fried inside and out like it was a bare boneless chicken laying in the desert.

making your way to Jaehyun’s house wasn’t that far in fact, you took the bus there and then got off. the walk from the bus stop would’ve been about fifteen minutes. you were anticipating to see your boyfriend after so long, seconds away from him felt like years and days without him would equal to decades passing like the blooming spring. it felt cold and empty without his warm bubbly presence that keeps you awake on your feet like caffeine would do. You didn’t slow walk on your way to his house, you ran. You ran through the late night just so you’d see him sooner; your mind was creating scenarios of his face, of his voice, the way he’d welcome you.

god how much you missed him couldn’t be put into words. when you are stressed he was your de-stress reliever if anything. it’s just a shame that he’s graduated from uni and you still have a few to go. The way you long to be standing in front of his door, hand clenching in a ball out ready to knock two times then awaiting the door to swing open.

and when the time came, you did exactly that, knocking on the door as your feet stomp on the ground with a rush of adrenaline excitement. the way this felt like a happy ball of heaven to you. the black door pulls open revealing a tall man wearing a white oversize hoodie and those grey-black checkered pants that he favours over anything. if he could, he would wear these every single day, anywhere.

The sight of your lover standing wide open with arms out only for you to walk in, to run in, to jump and never let go off in; the corner of his eyes sparkling down at you the moment those dull iris orbits met you once again, ears smiling wide as his eyes wrinkle with happiness.

Your face mimics the same euphoric expression he deadpanned at you with freedom. You lung yourself at him tight curling up, just like a baby kangroo would of done to it’s mother. jumping in the pocket. Arms linking by the end of his neck, your body weight crushed him just the way he wanted, he missed you. Everything reminds him of you when you are gone, busy with life as anyone would be; but the way everything reminded him of you tortured him deeply with penetration in his heart.

It just made this whole moment more worth it though. He gently sweeps arms around you the moment you jump on him. He kicks the door closing it shut with his back. He’d focus on locking his hands on you and only you.

jaehyun brings you into his bedroom with a deep longing kiss on your lips. he brought you underneath where he sweeps his thumbs on the sides of your chubby apple cheeks, he then disconnects from your lips, attacking your entire face with his wet lips.

pecking your forehead, eyes that you close in motion, your beautiful nose. Jaehyun’s lips kiss your reddish cheeks that felt cold, he easily warms them up with the multiple kisses he dents on your body.

You squeak tapping his arms as you start to squirm. Eventually those lips slowly crawl down to your neck where he was just carried away. he was savouring the moment with you. Your breath going ragged.

“jae i’m not going anywhere!” you openly exclaim with a soft loving sigh leaving. he gives a one final deep smooch on your hands that you tap him previously. he felt the way you were cold still. “you weren’t gone for long but why does it feel like it was an eternity.”

he would say gazing into your eyes lovingly. You sit up taking off your jacket, he rolls off helping you with your bag too. The man didn’t even give you time to take off the outdoor clothes and shoes, but that doesn’t bother him, he didn’t care enough at the time. Jaehyun lovingly watches you do such simple chores, but why was he so struck by everything you do? Love really makes you feel brainwashed.

but in the best way possible.

You turn around where you realise he’s been staring at you the entire time. You lightly tease speaking, reaching to squish those loving bread dimples. “you keep watching me like i am some meal dish.”

he chuckles humming a bit with his husky deep voice that just makes you stop and listen no matter what. “i’m just watching my girl look so pretty from afar, can’t her boyfriend do that?”

he curls as he pulls you immediately to lay down with him on the warm bedsheets that smelled exactly like him, welcoming . You grin as your legs and thighs wrap around his own lower body, he made sure that his hands rest on your waist, carefully caressing up and down your hips and curvy waistline.

“her boyfriend can do whatever he wants.” you reply back leisurely, as he felt your fingertips push his long free luscious locks back. Twirling them round your thumb or lightly flipping it around. simply admiring how he was such a beautiful masterpiece.

She paints him a ray of sunshine on a night starry sky. That’s the only way it could define her and him together. He was the observer, the watcher, the viewer, the mere bystander. As she was the performance, the art, the extraordinary history.

You suddenly raise your eyebrows realising something. “we both agreed to a movie and ice cream, but the first thing we did was cuddle and lay in bed together.”

“i know right? But i think those can wait.” jaehyun tells as he sits up, leaning leisurely to your lips once again. he pecks it softly.

“i’d rather talk to you over a movie and ice cream anyday.”

your heart throbs scraping against your chest heavily, hearing such loving words that no one else expressed to you but only him. You reach upwards to kiss him on the lips with enough passion to get him riled up, he responded by pulling on your waist and crawling on top of you. The way your hands slip round the hem of the hoodie to pull, running your fingertips down his abs and abdomen.

You murmur soft sighs once those abused lips left and began to roam on your soft collarbones exposed by your loose blouse, he sucks on it very light enough to cause visible red marks. you pull off the hoodie which he obliged, letting you strip it off from his skin, letting you take your own control. He enjoys the way you openly do small detailed actions to catch him slipping, like the way your fingertips pull on his hair to deepen whatever he was doing. The way your thighs tackle his hips pulling your bodies even closer.

Your moans were a reward to him, especially those soft ones that slowly get louder. You become needier, you act on the neediness too, but you didn’t have to beg him. He will give you whatever you want, whatever you request, he is at your demise.

“I want you.” Those words leaving your gaping mouth as he slowly strips the blouse by the ribbon, taking it off your exposing body that he so dearly fell in love with all over again, the way you’re slightly smaller than him but you look as if you were carved out of the most fragile, beautiful lingering glass that was an antique to the world. Jaehyun softly hums above your bra, with his hands playing with to soon unclip it right off. He kisses above your cleavage.

“Then have me.” Jaehyun fully said as he sits up on the edge away from you now. You crawl slowly to him as you make yourself at home on his hard crotch, sitting right on it where your boyfriend could feel the soaking patches on your panties. He lightly groans as you softly dry hump on a specific spot.

It got him going feral, quite literally, as he tightly grips on the bedsheets. He lungs his head down, as you constantly do the same circling motions back and forth. You whimper when he tightly pressed you down on his hard crotch through the boxers fabrics

“please just, fuck me already.” you beg. jaehyun soothes your desperate cries by softly caressing your face.

“Patience is virtue baby.” he whispers, starting to hover your entire weight on the bed centre as he positions you underneath him. but a specific lining directly to the wide mirror in his room grazing over your lined bodies.

Then the most shocking words left his unbearable lips running on your body like it was a tug and war. He wishes to see everything, because this was both your first times together, though he was experienced and you weren’t; he wasn’t trying to scare you off with something dramatic. He wants to do you slow, enjoy this moment with him as much as you can. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he doesn’t wish to do anything extravagant.

When it comes to you, the simpler decision is always the best decision.

“I want to look at your face as we do it.” He states as your face was turning to the mirror on the side, you thickly gulp your abdomen squeeze. He hovers over your panties which he slips off, the way you had a puddle patch on the white underwear amazes him. The effect he has on you, will always have a clutch on him that he doesn’t know how or why.

You whimper as the new sensation of galloping mouth went straight without warning to topple you up like you were a meal to him. He acts on the pure lust running in his veins, but also the love that he wishes to push you to the most ecstatic high you will ever experience. The way your thighs squeeze together he was underneath, you watching him eat you out in vulgar raw manner, but the way there was a sense of love from him made you wetter than before.

You were a soaking mess. Jaehyun loved that, he didn’t care if you made a mess, he plans to make you his beautiful disaster.

“Ooh…fuck- im..” y/n warns with the body twitching unable to finish the last sentence as her orgasm approaches unexpectedly, he felt your insides ferrule round his long tongue exploring inside you, the taste of your high was soon approaching. The lush of wetness exploding on him tongue as left him kitten licking you clean, there was no way he would miss a single drop of you.

He lifts himself up pulling on your ankles, in which you look up seeing stars. The post orgasm has left you wanting for more, as you were left feeling high in another dimension. He sent you into another world.

He trails softly, kissing the inner thick thighs. “Mm, you taste divine, god. i want to feel you pulsing like that on my cock, so so badly.” you moan at the imagination, tugging on his boxers length.

“What’s stopping you?” you whisper as you ask him, he takes a moment to find the correct words. jaehyun leans in resting his forehead on top of yours, closing eyes. “i want you to enjoy your first time. At least, with me.”

you melt by the respectful yet considerate words, your hands wrap round his jaw, nodding softly. “I want this, as much as you want this.”

“so please, use me however you want.”

Use you. Those words ran through his head like a mantra chanting, then there it was, you were soon to realise that you fully triggered something inside your boyfriend in that moment. The way you have your permission, submitted to him with such bewitching words that left him thinking wonders and wonders of scenario is to use you.

He was absolutely ballistic over you. Jaehyun softly pins you down where he finally slings off the boxers, you face down to be met with a spring free huge length, in all honesty, you sorta lost the confidence when you met eyes with his raging hard boner.

You let out stutters of questions over questions. “I mean..I- will it even fit…babe..?” you whisper and jaehyun gives you the outmost soft look. he must’ve realised that you feel intimidating, but all he does to calm your sudden anxiety was with a gentle forehead kiss.

“It will baby, i’ll be really careful and slow with you.” you heard him tell as her aligned it with your entrance. At first you weren’t sure what to expect, but sooner than later you found out the answer to your exact thoughts. A piercing warm sensation stretched you out repeatedly but, carefully, you felt the amount of self control jaehyun had over him to not just ram in you because of how welcoming you were to his hard length.

You were clenching him like crazy, unable to push out the addictive pain feeling that made you want more. As your hands clenching on the bedsheets beneath your body weights; he hears you whisper desperately.

“Please move.” you direct him very slowly as he gives a soft nod, that is when the soft singular thrusts made you shrink in complete pleasure taking over your body.

Oh how loving you felt under your boyfriend who’s unforgiving thrusts were pushing in and in your walls constantly like it was a running a game of tag. The way you were crying with pleasure, tears piling in your ears, as your boyfriend gently wipes and shoos your hushing voice carefully, spilling words of affirmation at you.

He kept ramming about how you are doing amazing, that you’re like a drug keeping him tied to you, words of praising that you’re beautiful, and that you deserve everything in this world can give .

It was so hard to respond back but he couldn’t blame you, your body was doing all the telling. Clenching with every words he spoke with a big pulsing rush of electricity sent to him.

The way the reflection of you arching your body at the quicker pace of thrusts and pounds he gave in, he was watching your perfect body underneath him at his dispose of to use. Jaehyun, fell in love with you through a mirror all over again. As if it was love at first sight once again.

He can’t get enough of you truly. The way your night ends with I love you’s, kisses, you stay in each other’s accepting embraces and replay the memory back.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work, thank youU <3 reblog this fic and follow me for more to stay updated! It helps a girl out.

I’m writing this as I’m sick, I hope I didn’t make any mistakes LMAO. 😭

I wrote this probably over 2 months ago and haven't done shit with it since. I thought it was cute but never elaborated on it.

So it is what it is. But it's about Nanami. ANYTHING to bring this man back lol.

SFW from what I can recall. Enjoy <3

Hear ... Me ... Out.

Nanami is at his favorite coffee shop one day and he sees this girl (woman, ok? don't get into semantics over it) and she is just a hot fucking mess.

Her hair is in the world's messiest bun on top of her head. It doesn't look like it's been brushed for a few days. Her clothes are like, less than casual. He doesn't want to use the word "sloppy", but damn. She look so sloppy rn that he has this overwhelming need to go straighten her up.

She's not ugly, not beautiful ... natural, though. But there's something about her that he is drawn to. She's kinda chubby. Which adds to her unique appearance(?), but with the right fitting clothes, she would be so cute, he thinks.

There's not a speck of make up on here face. And Nanami can't help but find that somewhat refreshing. There are stains on her sweatshirt from the coffee she is drinking. Crumbs on the table from her bagel with cream cheese.

GOD he wants to give her a napkin but doesn't want to offend her. What is the etiquette here, he wonders. Could he spin it so he comes off as polite? Caring, even?

He watches her for a while longer. Studies her face as she reads up on whatever textbook she's studying from. He can't get a good look at it, but it's a thick book.

Speaking of thick, he looks down to her thighs. They're thick, too.

His tired mind begins to wander uncontrollably to what she would feel like, what she would taste like. Then Nanamin catches himself staring too long. Spit pools in his mouth and he swallows hard. He looks away, hopefully before you catch him eating you up & out with his eyes.

But it's too late. You felt someone's gaze on you. And not just someone's. Fucking Kento Nanami's breathtaking brown eyes.

So now you're taking him in. And he is the most put together person you have ever seen. His blue button-up shirt is so well pressed that there isn't a single crease in it, even as he sits there in the cafe, it hugs his large arms looking like it was about to give at even the slightest miscalculated move. His tie hangs perfectly around his muscly neck. The light colored pants he wears - Oh God. They look like they're painted on. And they leave very little to the imagination.

He's got a tiny cup in front of him, his regular drink, espresso. But you don't know that's his regular drink. Because you have never seen him before. You don't even come to this cafe regularly. The one you like, the one closest to where you live, is having some renovations done. It has ruined more than one morning for you this week. Seeing the tall, ridiculously handsome man sitting across the seating area is starting to fix some of today's damages, though.

You tilt your head to the left and size him up, just like he was doing to you. But you're not even trying to be discreet. You decided that morning that you had nothing to lose by doing the societally deemed shameful things.

ie: oogling an attractive man, while you're looking like you're coming down from a 23 hour gambling bender with Toji (Nanamin doesn't know you know Toji and vice versa). Not that he'd permit you to keep associating yourself with him if anything were to become of the two of you.

No, he'd put a stop to that years ago. No proper lady of his would be fraternizing with garbage like Toji Fushiguro. No, no, no.

He's already decided he wants to talk to you. And while he has absolutely no reason to be shy about speaking with you, he can't bring his legs to move. That could be in large part to the considerable amount of blood that has pooled in the center of his body. He'll give it a minute and compose himself before he walks your way.

Nanami glances back at his newspaper and continues to read the daily stock updates. He sees movement in his periphery but thinks nothing of it because, after all, this is a busy cafe. It is a Wednesday. More people than you will move around.

It is you, though. You pack up your stuff, purposely leaving behind your cellphone beside your empty coffee cup, and walk toward him, holding eye contact for the entire time you're heading toward the exit.

He gets excited for some reason he can't yet understand and his pulse gets faster and faster the closer you get to his table for 1. Without thinking, he straightens up the scattered papers on the small table surface like he was expecting company. Your company.

But you turn at the very last second and push open the door to the sidewalk. The disappointment Nanamin feels crushes him like nothing he's quite experienced before. You are no one to him. He, in turn, knows that he's no one to you as well. Yet the dejected feelings remain in the forefront of his thoughts.

His eyes squint against the bright reflection of something silver on the table you were sitting at. You'd strategically forgotten and placed your phone to pick up the sun's light emerging from behind the clouds to get his attention.

It worked. He made his way across the cafe to the shiny object left behind. Picking it up, he tapped on the screen. To his great pleasure, there was no lock on the main screen. He had access to your photos. Your contacts. Your notes. Everything. He could look at everything.

Being the gentleman he is, Nanami thought it best to not look through it, though. He thought about giving it to the barista and letting them handle returning it to you. But there's no fun in that. He would track you down and give it back himself.

On the car ride to the "Return To" address in the phone, he felt his stomach turning. There was no reason for him to be nervous about this task, considering what his career is. He dealt with much worse shit than delivering a phone to a woman to whom he was attracted but couldn't figure out why. This was child's play. There was no curbing his excitement though.

Arriving outside your apartment building, he was surprised at how nice the place was. If he had to guess by just looking at you, he'd not have guessed a place such as this.

The doorman let Nanami pass with no problems. Looking as respectable as he does often grants him permissions that other people can't even entertain the idea of.

He pushed the button to call the elevator down and waited for it to carry him to the 14th floor.

Walking down the hallway until he found your place, he smoothed his tie down and knocked 3 times. He heard your footsteps coming as you padded your way closer to your door. And then he saw your shadow moving underneath, on the opposite side that he stood.

"Hello?" He said, his voice rumbly and deep. "You left your phone at the cafe we were both just at. I - thought I'd return it to you."

Nanami watched your shadow stretch out a little more and heard your fingers tap on the door as you looked through the peephole.

@darkstarlight82 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo (tagging you on the off chance you give a shit =))

Morning Negotiations

Something short I wrote for Billy Knight because not enough people write for him.

Ps. I’ve really been struggling with writer’s block lately so that’s why I haven’t posted anything in a while. I know that I teased a part of my upcoming jitterbug x grub oneshot, but I’m honestly not sure when I’ll actually have that completely done and ready to post, so I’m sorry about that. Hopefully I can get my inspiration/motivation back soon.

If Billy had to pick his least favourite part about living with you, you guess that he’d probably pick the numerous alarms you use to wake yourself up in the morning, mostly because he expresses his dislike for them very openly.

“Turn it off,” Billy whines hoarsely as he pulls the duvet over his head in a feeble attempt to shield himself from the sounds of the overly peppy song you’d chosen for your alarm tone. It was a song you used to love, back when you’d first chosen it, but now both you and your partner loathe it entirely. This is the sixth time that song has sounded throughout the room this morning and you can tell Billy is beyond sick of it, but neither of you are quite ready to wake up yet.

You groan tiredly as you grab your phone off the nightstand and turn off the alarm before setting it down on your pillow and nuzzling back into your bed, ready to fall back asleep. A very tired Billy suddenly drapes one of his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he rests his forehead against the space between your shoulder blades.

“No, turn ‘em all off,” he grumbles grumpily, “no more.”

You huff out humorously, “Can’t, baby, gotta get up for work.”

“Too early, sun’s not even up yet,” Billy points out before pressing a gentle kiss to your spine.

You yawn tiredly, finally opening your bleary eyes, before replying, “Training starts today, so I’ve gotta be at work an hour earlier.”

You then stretch out your back as best as you can while still trapped against your boyfriend’s front, the movement causing him to sleepily mumble incoherent complaints under his breath.

“Not lettin’ you go,” he pouts as he wraps his arms around you more securely, effectively pinning you to him, “ y’need your rest.”

While you certainly agree with him on that last bit, you also know that you need the money.

“I’ll tell you what, Billygoat, if you let me get up, I’ll grab takeaway from that Indian place on the corner on my way home tonight,” you say, attempting to bribe him.

“Butter chicken?” He asks simply, too tired for full sentences.

“Of course I’ll get butter chicken,” you assure him before offering, “I’ll even order extra naan if you do the dishes while I’m gone.”

“‘S gonna take more than extra naan to get me to do that,” he grumbles.

“Would a back rub sweeten the deal?” You inquire.

“Depends. Does it come with a happy ending?” He asks bluntly, his tone still heavy with sleep, causing you to laugh.

“It can,” you reply between bouts of laughter, causing him to smile and hum happily.

“Then you’ve got yourself a deal, pretty lady,” Billy murmurs as he reluctantly relinquishes his hold on you. You climb out of bed just as reluctantly, still not quite ready to leave your bed, stretching out your tired limbs once you’ve finally gotten up.

“Pleasure doing business with you, handsome man,” you remark before leaning over to plant a gentle kiss on Billy’s forehead, dotting a couple of kisses on his rosy cheeks too for good measure.

31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day thirty one

Before: I’ll be honest, I’m definitely sad to see this challenge come to an end! I really enjoyed sharing my reading thoughts and day to day activities with everyone. Today, I’ll be reading volume five of ロンリーガールに逆らえない (which is the last volume I own), watching the last four episodes of Sk8 with the minimmersion server, and hopefully reading some 憎らしい彼！I definitely have been putting that one on the back burner in favor of making sure I get through my goal of ten volumes of manga this month, so I’ll see how much of it I can get through today.

After: Today was definitely busier than I expected, but I shouldn't be surprised since most of that business was spending Easter with family. I also streamed the last few episodes of Sk8 over in the minimmersion discord server. In the end, I ended up going back and streaming the very first episode as well for one of the late comers to the series. I always love participating in minimmersion, I always have a good time chatting with people during the streams.

I did indeed finish volume five of ロンリーガールに逆らえない and it wasn't enough to get me to my minimum of an hour of reading! I read 165 pages over fifty five minutes for an average reading pace of 3 pages per minute. I don't really have anything more to say beyond what I've already said about the series, but if I'm being honest, I'm kind of ready to move on to something different. I will absolutely be buying the last volume to finish the series and I would overall recommend it, but I'm not much of a binge reader in the first place and reading five of these in a row was just. Enough to tide me over for a while. I found myself making myself go back to it rather than looking forward to picking it up. I think most everything I've said about this series has been negative and I'm sorry for that because, like I said, it's not a bad series and I do like it! I just find it easier to pinpoint what I dislike about something rather than what I enjoyed.

Yet again my 憎らしい彼 reading was very minimal and mostly to make sure I hit that hour mark. I read five pages over twenty two minutes for an average reading pace of 4.4 minutes per page. One thing I'm looking forward to after ending this challenge is picking up this book earlier in the day. Each time I pick it up, I don't want to stop reading, but I just get way too tired. I've been prioritizing finishing manga volumes instead these past few days.

I wrote out a little retrospective on this challenge, but it ended up being super long, so it's in its own post that you'll see tomorrow!

Smokydonuts

A (very) short fic I wrote for @foragemefromthemoss / @sams-shark (per their request) based on when John gets sick and Jack takes care of him. It’s very subtle because they have a subtle dynamic I feel. It’s my first time writing these two so hopefully it’s okay. Enjoy.

It was the cup.

And the cold.

And the stress.

Jack had told him. He told him to take it easy, told him to do his dishes, told him to wear a warmer jacket. But as always, John was too thickheaded and refused to listen to him.

And now he’s sick in bed at home.

Well. Jack’s home.

Since, you know, John’s house is . . . indisposed at the moment.

“Here you go, some nice warm tea and honey for your throat.” Jack sets the cup down on his nightstand by John’s head.

“Thanks,” John coughs. He pulls himself up in the bed with a strained, sickly groan that pulls at the sympathy in Jack.

It was such a fight to get John to this point, all curled up in bed and docile. They’d worn each other out arguing and now John was too exhausted to protest any more of Jack’s help.

John takes the warm mug with both hands, letting the steam waft into his face. He’s all congested and his head is filled with lead. He’s hoping the hot air will clear him up a bit.

Jack stands back while John holds his tea. He would prefer to be closer but it wouldn’t do anyone any good if he were to also get sick. Especially not John. So Jack stays just a few steps away while John blows on the mug.

“I can make some lunch if you’re hungry?” Jack asks though he has a feeling he knows John’s answer. Still, he’s the type of guy who asks anyway.

“Not hungry.” John sips the tea. He makes a face of “oh too hot, no wait it’s fine” as the honey soothes his sore throat.

“Alright then, you just sleep.” Jack starts making his way out of his bedroom where’s gotten John all situated. It’s not entirely ideal, but Jack doesn’t have any other rooms or beds and he wasn’t about to force John onto his very lumpy and uncomfortable couch while the man’s sick.

~

Jack comes in to check on John every few hours to make sure the man’s doing alright. He’s a very attentive caretaker. Especially towards the man he has a crush–his partner who he respects so much.

“John? You awake?” Jack calls out in a whisper in case the man isn’t. He opens the door slowly and as quietly as he can to avoid making any creaks.

There isn’t a response and Jack can only infer that John is in fact asleep. He very sneakily makes his way further into the room with the intent to still check on John anyway.

By the bed, Jack can see John’s sleeping face covered in sweat from his fever. Jack figured as much that John would still be running hot even in his sleep so he’d come prepared with a mixing bowl full of cold water and a wash cloth already damp and wrung out.

Jack carefully places the wash cloth on John’s forehead, hoping not to disturb the man. He waits for a moment, a little tense at the idea of waking John prematurely. It would only cause the man to be even grumpier.

When it’s clear he’s safe, Jack gently places the mixing bowl on his nightstand next to John’s empty mug, for which he grabs in return to take to the sink. Just as sneakily as he’d arrived, Jack departs in equal measure.

~

“Thanks,” John says suddenly through his cigarette. Jack turns to look at him.

“For wha–“

“For looking after me.”

“Oh.” Jack has to hide his face and the smile on it. “It was nothing.” He’s playing it cool. So cool.

John blows out a puff of smoke, resting his hand over the porch railing he’s propped up against, the cigarette hanging between his two fingers. Jack sneaks a peak from the corner of his eye, taking in the tired but respectable silhouette he admires so much.

“Wanna go for a drink? My treat.” John stares at the starry night sky and takes a drag of his smoke.

Wait? Did he just ask Jack out on a date? Or is it just a guy’s night out thing? Or is this just to make up for nursing him back to health all weekend?

Either way, Jack isn’t about to decline. He stops himself from reacting too strongly. “Yes!–sure. I mean. Sure. Les’ go.” He straightens out against the railing.

John nods, finishing his cigarette before smushing it out on the railing. He puts the butt in his current smoke pack to throw out later and walks down the porch to their shared squad car.

Jack follows behind, brimming with excitement and nerves.

It’s not a date. John’s just being nice, that’s all.

But it could be a date, is the thing.

Jack doesn’t let himself think as this as a date, lest his hopes are crushed at the end of the night. He’ll just enjoy spending social time with his crush–partner who he respects so much.

today was kind of mainly just nothing. our “case management” group was really nothing but a patient bitching, there was too much talking for me to get anything done. the next group was just us vaguely talking about self care goals for the week? that staff member talks for sooooo long but at least it makes the group go by kind of fast? super overstimulating though.

then i had trauma therapy, which was rough. i did good, like i was able to dig through what we were talking about and i was able to recount and remember more things about the situation, things that i thought that i had forgotten.

and i also was told by her that it’s very common for me to feel like there’s no point in doing the therapy, and that it’s just something i can get over by myself, and that’s just the brain’s way of trying to run away from doing the hard work because that means that i wouldn’t have to bring things up and hurt doing uncomfortable work. and that it’ll find any excuse it can to stop the work. and also, that if i could’ve just worked on this by myself without therapy, i would’ve done it by now.

after that i had lunch, where i didn’t eat anything but chips, again. and then the patient that hates me was being mean to me and talking shit about me.

oh yeah, in the group in the morning, while a staff member had stepped out of the room, he said “can you stop breathing the same air as me, chase?” just completely unprompted. there’s more things he said and did but i’m too tired to try to go into it now. i think i took a screenshot of things i said though, i’ll post them in a reblog.

so that made me very sad and too uncomfortable to want to go to group. i think i kind of have exhausted all the sources i had in my body for crying because cried so much last week. and now i’m just kind of feeling numb, or i’ll feel tears welling up in my eyes, but they aren’t able to come out. which is annoying, honestly.

and also, staff just kind of told me that gabe (the guy who hates me) is just gonna be gabe, and basically that i should just keep my distance and not engage. i’m literally only going downstairs when i have to eat, take my meds, or do my chore, and he’s still finding ways to be so mean to me during those times. especially when staff aren’t around. i’ve started recording things when he starts on his bullshit.

the groups after lunch were also kind of nothing, i barely remember them. i didn’t go to the next group because i didn’t want to be around gabe after he was so upset with me, so i stayed in the other group room. and then the next group was the loud staff member again, where we went around Again about the self care thing and only got handed out a piece of paper talking about commitments like 6 minutes before the group was over. and then in the next group, also with him, we did this thing where we all wrote a word on the whiteboard to make a sentence that sounded stupid. at least it wasn’t about israel this time, that happened last time.

and then in the last group we just watched pirates of the caribbean.

so yeah. today was kind of just nothing. i guess it’s better than it being super intense? idk. got home, watched youtube for a second, ate dinner, laid back down, went on a wikipedia rabbit hole about linguistics (very fun tbh), did my chore of cleaning the bathroom, took my meds maybe 2 hours ago, and i’m waiting on them to kick in.

hopefully tomorrow is okay

Orange Porch Light: aka Coral Island Fanfiction by a Rafael Simp

Section 2.

Again this is just from my google keep notes because I get bored at work. Grammer will be questionable and I’ve probably forgotten some quotation marks. This was the first note I actually wrote for this Fic. Still slowburn and minimal drama because I like cute shit.

CW: some reference to anxiety.

Penelope goes to blacksmith because she needs the hoe sharpened (according to her). She enters and is greeted by a waft of heat she wasn't prepared for her. After a long day of work the heat is welcoming to her aching body. The floor looked really comfortable.... She entered and could hear light clanging and no one was standing at the front counter. Penelope glanced tiredly towards the source of the noise and could see Rafael hammering away. He was very sweaty and his rusty shirt clung to his thick back muscles. She leaned against her hoe and let out an audible sigh at the view. Rafael heard someone and turned around stopping what he was doing "Oh Penelope!" He smiled wiping some sweat from his brow, "Sorry I didn't hear you." Penelope blushed because she knew damn well that it was her admiring sigh that caught his attention. He walked towards her removing his gloves and clasped his one arm, "uh How can I help you?" Penelope mustered some strength to hand him the hoe, she looked more tired than usual. "I need this sharpened or something", Penelope yawned. Rafael took the hoe, gave her a side glance to make sure she was doing okay and proceeded to inspect the tool. It was in ROUGH shape... He really wanted to rebuild this for Penelope and maybe she wouldn't be so exhausted. He could do a minor upgrade. He kept his face soft so Penelope would hopefully not notice that the tool was almost beyond repair. He smiled again, "yeah I can get this in better shape." Penelope yawned again turning away to hide her contorted face. "This will take me maybe a half hour, there's coffee in the kitchen if you want to help yourself. Uhm maybe take break?" He pointed in the direction of the kitchen. Penelope rubbed her face, smearing some dirt across her cheeks, and nodded. Rafael could feel himself blush, she was just too cute. He cleared his throat and walked away stiffly while Penelope staggered into the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of coffee sat at the table, lowered her head, and fell into a DEEP sleep. Pablo came down the stairs looking cleaned up, "Hey Raf I'm out, see ya later." Rafael waved the hammer without looking to Pablo. He made himself focus on doing a good job getting this tool in better shape. He got lost in the work he didn't even notice how much time had passed. It had been just over an hour since he started, it was time to close shop. After Raf locked the door he figured he should let Penelope know he was just about done. He entered the living room and kept walking to the kitchen. Penelope had her face smooshed against her arms and was out like a light. Rafael felt his heart do a somersault, she had such a squishable and kissable face. He sighed and gently shook her shoulder, "Penelope?" She didn't move. He tried again. Penelope could not be stirred. Rafael decided maybe it was best to let her sleep. He grabbed a blanket from the couch and rested it over her shoulders. He decided to improve the hoe a little bit more. She was still asleep when he finished. Raf sat down across from her and bounced his leg trying to think of what to do with her. She's NOT waking up. Does he put her on the couch? Does he know her well enough to even pick her up? He looked around for ideas to maybe wake her up before resigning himself to let her stay the night. Rafael tried one more time to gently shake her but nothing and he would not wake her more aggressively, that's just rude. So he went about his Friday evening routine. After he cleaned up he started to cook dinner, he decided he'd make enough for Penelope too. He grabbed himself a beer and sat across from her while the food finished cooking. She was still not moving. He got up to check her pulse. Okay, still alive. She's going to be so sore sleeping like this. He really didn't want to wake her up rudely but all the gentle tactics weren't working. Hell, she slept through him working. When the meal was done cooking, Rafael plated up some for him and then set a plate near Penelope. He set the plates down rather aggressively and yet she still didn't stir. Rafael took a quick look around the kitchen to see if there was anything else he could try. He saw some onions. Maybe the smell might wake her? He placed some onion right near her nose all while feeling like a jerk but she really needed to wake up. She finally stirred. Rafael took the onion away quickly. "Oh geez! Oh crap!" She came to her senses. Penelope stood abruptly, "I didn't mean to fall asleep! Oh my god I'm so sorry." Like a dumbass, her foot caught the chair as she tried to bolt and fell. Thankfully for her, Rafael caught her in a classic romance trope style. "Uh it, it's okay. Really." He stammered helping her to her feet. Both their faces flushed and Raf let her go, "Uhm, I made extra food. You really should eat something." Penelope looked back at the table and saw the plate of food and she rubbed her eyes. "Oh my god it's dinner time??" Rafael smirked, "uh yeah. I made extra food in case you were hungry." She was hungry, Penelope thought and she maybe had some breakfast today but she wasn't sure. She agreed to stay and eat. A little dazed, Penelope sat back down and ate some of the food. It was basic bachelor food but delicious nonetheless. She was still so tired though and ate just enough to feel her stomach chill out. "Thanks Rafael," Penelope sighed leaning back into the chair looking like she was going to fall asleep again. He had watched her eat because she looked like she was gonna face plant into the food at any given moment. Thankfully she didn't. "Uh, Penelope? can I walk you home?" He could feel himself tense from being so forward (for him). "Oh uh you don't have to...." "I want to make sure you get home okay", he blurted then cleared his throat, "don't want you falling asleep in a bush somewhere." Penelope giggled nervously, "yeah... okay then." Their eyes met but they looked away because they're both painfully shy. Rafael carried the hoe and they walked together under the night sky. The silence was nice but hella awkward. Raf cleared his throat, "so Uhm. I reshaped the head a little", gesturing with the hoe, "it should be more efficient for you..... Uh It'll be better for packed dirt." Penelope lit up and took the hoe, "oh thanks!" Raf looked away and rubbed his neck, "yeah. Uhm, it should be balanced a bit better for your height too. It looked like it was built for someone taller." Penelope took a swing at a nearby dirt patch and it was way more comfortable, "oooooooh!!!" Raf stopped and tensed as she kept hacking at some dirt, he just wanted her to go to bed! "This is so much better!" She beamed. He smiled tiredly and grabbed his arm, "I'm glad, but uh, please get a full night's sleep before you get back to farming." Penelope grinned sheepishly stoked on her hoe (loool). They kept walking but now the silence was comfortable. As they were crossing the second bridge Penelope stopped. The sight of that plot of land still gave her intense anxiety. Raf took a few steps but stopped and looked at her. She gripped the hoe and stared down at her feet. He could barely see her silhouette in the dark. "Rafael?" He turned fully to her and tilted his head, "yeah?" She didn't want to cry but 'her farm' was a disaster and she didn't like looking at it. "I think I'm in over my head", her silhouette started to look smaller. "What?" He stepped towards her. "I'm in way over my head", Penelope said her voice shaking, "I don't think I'm made for this." "For what?" He took another step towards Penelope. "Farming, ranching, living on my own. I was so ready for all of this I didn't realize it was going to be this hard." Rafael could feel his heart practicing acrobatics again, she sounded sad? Oh no! What could he do to make it better?! Penelope walked to edge of the bridge and let her head rest against the railing with a thump. She still gripped the hoe. He couldn't think of anything to say. Obviously Raf didn't know much about farming and couldn't offer advice. He stood next to her and rested his forearms against the railing as he continued to think of ways to help. Penelope could feel his presence next to her. He smelled good, nothing perfumey, but like wood, dirt, metal, like a man who works but still remembers to wash his face. Oh shit her face must be so dirty.... Shit, he probably always sees her at her dirtiest all the time. Great another thing to he upset about. Thank God it was dark, she could feel some tears burn her eyes. Raf rubbed his face hoping the words about to come out of his mouth helps, "so... I don't know you all that well......Uhm but you seem like someone who doesn't give up." It was much easier to talk to her when he couldn't see her. "Uhm, you do also seem like the kind of person who would try to eat an entire cake in one bite." Penelope stood up confused but Rafael couldn't see her so he continued. "I think..... Uhm you should eat the cake one piece at a time", He grinned like an idiot because he knew what he was saying sounded real stupid but he rolled with it. It was hard to see but Penelope could feel his smile. "This is cliche.... But, uh, set small goals. Like for instance," He paused and Penelope looked at him, "For instance", he took the hoe, "bring your tools to me because....I can make them make your life easier." He let out a laugh and Penelope relaxed and laughed a little too which made the brimming tears disappear. "Uhm so don't give up. Set smaller goals", he recapped just in case his idea didn't come across, "anyone can do anything with hard work."  She could feel his smile again, "Thanks." Rafael could feel his stupid cheeks get hot again, "yeah.... No problem." They finished their walk in a significantly more comfortable silence. Penelope walked up her 2 steps and turned to Raf. They were both slightly illuminated by the orange porch light. "Okay, get proper sleep now", he stuttered now that he could see her. He turned to walk away. "Sweet dreams Rafael", Penelope called after him. Raf choked a lil and quickly sputtered back, "sweet dreams." He now walked quickly away. Penelope entered her house and could feel her face was completely flushed. She went to the bathroom to get ready for bed and saw her face in the mirror. Oh no!!! Her face was exceptionally dirty. She washed up and died of embarrassment on her bed. But shortly after her moment of dying she feel asleep hard. Once Raf was clear of Penelope's property he let out a long sigh and hid his face in his hands. Why did he feel like he was dying everytime he talked to her.  Pablo was home when Raf got in "Oh hey where were you?" Raf looked at his brother a little dazed, "just out for a walk", He said and walked right past him into his room. He flopped face first on to his bed. Ugh he had butterflies and he was very aware of his heart beat. He rolled onto his back and stared at the dimly lit ceiling. 'Sweet dreams Rafael' played over and over in his head and he couldn't stop blushing

Just copying the post I just made to my comic's Patreon so people here can see it too.

So. We're on page 90 of chapter 1. Originally I had planned to separate each of the story arcs into chapters, but because of the way I wrote things there was never really a good place to end things and call it a full chapter, so I just kept writing, and I'll be honest I originally planned to wrap up this arc abd have at least one of two more arcs before the finally that ive had planned since the comic began, but I'll be honest, imngetting tired and I frankly don't have any free time to work on any of my other projects while keeping up with this weekly schedule, and story elements aligned so that I can wrap things up by page 100.

So that the plan.

10 more pages to draw, like 12 or something more weeks until the finale, (I'll be posting thumbnail spoilers in a few hours), and (again this is a spoiler) despite how it ends, I'm gonna start working on chapter two. The caveat is, I'm not going to start publicly posting ch2 until I finish it. It's going to be a much shorter chapter than ch1, I can't say how long, but it won't be 100 pages, that's for sure. Pages will still be posted on Patreon as I finish them, but they won't start going public until I'm done. I need the break, and then while ch2 is schedule posting I can slowly work on ch3, which will probably be pretty long.

All this is to say, things are coming together, I'm very excited about next three ish months of comics (they're planned for once) and while a hiatus is coming after, I'll hopefully get fully rested and finish up things quick.

'Strawberry Kisses' by @woahhhbloooop on Wattpad

(I wrote it :/)

Prologue (Maybe) <Chapter one>

Theodore was now fourteen, his dad bought him a phone, not knowing he already has one. Theodore decided that the upgrade was needed and wrapped the phone he was borrowing from his friend Andy in bubble wrap. He took a sticky note and wrote: ‘This is my new number: ***-***-****’ and put it on the bubble wrap, soon putting it into a box, writing Andy’s address and putting it next to the mailbox, hoping that Andy would actually open it. It’s been about a month and he now gets a text that reads, ‘Hey Theo! It’s Andy, your BFF, hopefully still ur BFF.’ Theodore smiles when he reads it. ‘Yes ur still 1 of my BFFs Andy.’ He texts back, getting a smile emoji as a reply. He soon gets a text that reads, 'Hey, Theo, haven’t talked to you in a while.’ Theodore clicks on the number, not recognizing it. He texts, ‘Who is this, i if this is u Boris, then how the fuck did u get my number u piece of shit?’ The anonymous messenger texted, ‘Who the fuck is Boris? I’m not telling you who I am just yet.’ Theodore rolled his eyes, assuming it was Boris being an asshole and shut his phone off, laying down on his bed and yawning.

~Small time skip~

It was about one in the morning, Theodore was still awake. There was a pebble thrown at his window, he got up and looked out the window to see his junkie friend, Boris Pavlikovsky. He opened the window and put his hand out for Boris, almost as if it were routine. Boris grabbed his hand. Theodore lifted him into his room and sat back down onto his bed. “Hey.” Theodore said. Boris sat next to him and pulled a joint out of his pocket. “Wassup, Potter?” Boris’ accent was very strong, Boris lit the joint and took a puff. “How were you texting me earlier? I haven't given you my new number yet.” Theodore asked, taking his own puff of the joint. Boris looked at him, looking high, but confused. “O czym ty kurwa mówisz?” Boris asked, he taught Theodore some polish,so he was able to translate it. “You weren’t texting me?” He asked, taking a longer puff of the joint. Boris shook his head before kissing Theodore, his hand on the other’s waist. Theodore hummed when Boris mumbled, “Jesteś taki gorący..” He soon broke the kiss, now looking at the brunette in the eyes. “May I have your number, Potter?” He asked, Theodore was soon to comply, grabbing a sticky note and writing his number. Boris smiled, putting the sticky note on the side table and starting to cuddle Theodore. Theodore cuddled back happily. “How’s Kotku?” He asked, Boris shrugged, “I dunno… I broke up with the slut days ago.” Theodore sighed and rested his back gently.

~The next morning~

Theodore woke up to see Boris’ hand on his waist. He felt Boris’ breath on the back of his neck, he also smelt it, and it smells horrible. Theodore hums and tries to push Boris’ hand off of his waist, only to be pulled closer. “ Boris..” Theodore mumbled, his hand on Boris’. Boris just grumbled nonsense and kissed his neck gently. “Go.. sleep..” he mumbled, continuing to suck on his friend's neck. Theodore just hummed, gripping his hand tighter. Boris started nibbling on his neck, making Theodore moan softly. “B… Boris, we gotta get ready for school..” He said softly. Boris grumbled and let go of Theodore, sitting up and stretching. Theodore checked his phone and saw a text from three hours ago saying, ‘Good morning, you should still be asleep, but just wanted to say good morning’ Theodore smiled a bit and walked over to his closet, starting to get dressed. Boris watched him get dressed, knowing that they’ve fucked before and that he doesn’t mind. “I’m so tired, oh my god..” Theodore whined as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Тобі треба було залишитися роздягненою..” Boris said as he hugged Theodore’s waist from behind. He didn’t understand what the other said. Theodore hummed, “Hm?” Boris just did his casual, loud, “Hah!” with a smile. Theodore put his phone in his pocket and put his round glasses on. “Поттере, ми маємо ходити до школи? Я не хочу... Це так нудно..” Boris whines, but Theodore just sighs. “We have to go to school, I don’t care if it’s boring for you, we skipped too many times.” He said, almost rolling his eyes. Boris grumbles and opens the door for Theodore. Theodore says a quick thanks and walks down to the living room. His father was asleep with a bottle of beer in his hand while his dad’s girlfriend was in the kitchen smoking. Her name was Xandra, she was alright. “Hey kiddo’s. Breakfast is on the table,” she says, her blonde hair in a high ponytail. Theodore nods and sits on one of the chairs, starting to eat his eggs and bacon, Boris does the same.

~Time skip~

They were now at school, Theodore was sitting in his usual seat. Boris wanted to sit next to Theodore, so he bribed someone so he could sit next to him. The teacher was doing the lesson, not caring about the switched seats. Theodore got a text, his notifications were on silent so nobody heard it, but he felt it. He sneakily checked it, it was from Andy, ‘Hey, you are probably in school, but it’s lunch for me, just wanted to say hi, the Barbour’s miss you, man.’ Theodore almost smiled, but he put his phone away.

~Time skip~

The two were now at Theodore’s house. “Dad, we should go on a vacation to New York, I haven’t been there in a year, I sort of miss it,” he says. His dad sighs, “Theo, kid, you know how I feel about that place.” Theodore looks upset, “Please, just for three days,” he begs, using puppy dog eyes to get his way. His dad sighs again. “Only if Boris comes with, I want you to have a friend that’s not only that weird Andy kid,” he says, looking at Boris. Boris nods, “I’ll come with.” Boris smiles, Theodre’s dad smiling back at him. “I’ll book a flight for tomorrow then, start packin’ your bags, kids.” Theodore’s dad soon says, now going onto his phone and looking for flight. The two go up to Theodore’s room, soon starting to pack. Well, they usually share clothes, so Theodore was doing the packing. Theodore took the chance to text Andy, ‘Guess what’ Andy soon replied with a, ‘What?’ he texted, ‘I’M COMIN TO NEW YORK!!!!!!!!’ Andy took a bit to reply, ‘WOOOOOOOOOOO!’ Theodore smiled and put his phone on the charger, moving the suitcase to the side of the room and hopping on his bed. Boris took the chance to launch himself onto the bed and pull Theodore down with him. “Let us cuddle,” he said, soon getting a nod from the other boy, letting him cuddle. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” Theodore said, taking his glasses off and putting them on the nightstand. Boris nodded and kissed Theodore’s neck gently. They both soon fall asleep.

~End of Chapter 1~

The new year is just around the corner now. It’s already come to pass in other places of the world, and it’ll catch up with me and my little country soon enough.

Time is all a construct. The seconds, the minutes, the days, the weeks, the months, the years. We made it up for hour world, a reflection of what we saw, sure, but still all our creation. Humans do that a lot. Look at something and wish to find structure and meaning behind it. I quite like that about us.

I wanted to take a moment to reflect back on how 2022 have treated me and it has been quite a good year in a lot of aspects. I started off the year with a panic attack, and feeling quite lost and without roots. However, that was the only one I had this year, and while my brain hasn’t always been the best, we’ve been managing. I’ve gotten even more familiar with myself, and how to get up and push on. I know how, I just have to remember to do it.

I moved departments at work and went full time and came up to work that’s much more interesting and also a whole bunch of colleagues that make it a fun experience to go to work. I’ve spent the months still finding my footing and landing properly, and sometimes I still worry if I’m cut out for this corporate, adult 9-5 office job stuff. I like the stability of it, though, and the organisation I work for does important work.

I wrote and wrote, quite consistently all throughout the year and while I “only” journalled on some days, I’ve not missed a single day all year. Over 790k words written and over 550k published across tumblr and AO3. Those numbers are not even fathomable really. I had a goal of writing 2k a year and I did that and then some. But more importantly than the volume, I’m so proud of the works I put out this year. I’ve pushed boundaries, like releasing my first fic with smut in it on my actual account, and written for new fandoms and once again felt the warm embrace of a reading audience. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of that.

I also cut my hair, which might not seem like that big of a deal, and in some ways it really wasn’t. Over the last half a decade, I’ve grown hair out, had 30 cm. or so snipped off to donation and cut it just above my shoulder. But this year, I went really short, like above the ears, nothing to tie back, short. And it’s been so good. It’s so light and easy and I feel more myself. Like it fit me better.

I’ve kept a lot of the same wonderful friends that I had last year and they continue to be something to bring me joy in my life. Both the online crowd and the ones from real life are invaluable to me, and it’s always a pleasure to hang out with them, virtually or otherwise. I’m hopefully seeing a lot of the online friends for the first time in the new year, which is exciting.

My family is still doing well, as are the dogs and my dear horse. I’ve spent a lot of time in the family house, and in some ways that feels a bit regressive but in other ways I really needed that stability of people around me. And the dogs. Dogs to cuddle with most nights are very essential. I also know that this family home won’t be here forever, in a few years my parents will probably sell it and move into something smaller and I selfishly want to soak up everything I can. Though I do home to get better at splitting my time between the family house and my apartment.

This is already getting entirely too long, but I am always a sucker for reflection and introspection. Perhaps you’ll see me again tomorrow with a spilled thoughts post about my hopes for 2023. I will end by saying that 2022 felt like I finally uncurled a little from the defensive position that I’d taken late 2019/early 2020. It had been a tumultuous earthquake of time that I think I still needed to recover form.

Now, I feel more like I’ve evened out my ground, patched the ridges and holes, and now we can actually start building again. I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

anyway I wrote a bonus chapter for LOVESTORY because why not. This one takes place somewhere between chapters 10 and 11. hope you enjoy it!

Chp 10.5ish - cake pain

warnings: swearing

I was jerked violently out of what I could only imagine was an absolutely amazing dream (I forgot it the moment my eyelids were dragged open) as my alarm started screeching. After trying (and failing) to slow my heart, I reluctantly sat up and reached for my phone to turn the alarm off, glancing out the window as I did so. I was greeted by the beautiful view of the infinite, all consuming darkness of night.

Confused by this, I checked the time on my phone. 1 am. This cleared up absolutely nothing and I was fully prepared to go back to bed when the date caught my attention. Because today was I day I’d been preparing for for weeks. Thad’s birthday. And I’d subjected myself to waking at this horrible hour because I wanted to do something special for him.

Like, sure I’d already bought him a gift (a simple velki sized black cord necklace I thought would suite him. Picking it out was the easy part. It was the Getting Home part that was the problem. But hey, it’s like the old saying goes: You can never truly appreciate the size of your giant best friend unless you’ve had to carry a dang firehose of a necklace on public transport for them) but I wanted to do something more.

See, I wanted to bake him a cake.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. He’s a million times my size. How on earth could I possibly bake him a cookie, much less a whole cake? But worry not; about 2 weeks ago, while daydreaming in class, I found the perfect solution: I’d bake him a cupcake instead. A velki sized cupcake. In my human sized kitchen. It was fool proof!

I slowly crept downstairs and into the empty kitchen, inspecting my new domain (taking in the quiet atmosphere, the empty surfaces and all the clean plates. …yup, this was going to be a mistake) before I started setting up. I picked out the largest baking vessel we had (an extra large pizza pan) and set it to the side before preparing the ingredients I’d been stockpiling (using my allowance) in preparation for the Big Day.

My plan was simple. I’d just bake a bunch of thin cakes in the pizza pan (Thad probably wouldn’t notice a little extra baking powder) and then stack them on top of each other, icing each layer so the cake wouldn’t collapse during assembly (hopefully). I’d continue doing this until the height of the cake at least matched the width and then continue if I had some spare time (and leftover ingredients). I chose a simple chocolate cake (his favourite) recipe so I could successfully recreate it as many times as needed.

I pulled up the recipes on my phone, washed my hands and mentally prepared myself for what was to come.

Then I dove in.

1:15 – First batch of batter done. Oven preheated. I might actually be able to pull this off somehow

2:00 – Things are going well so far! 3 cakes are already cooling with a fourth in the oven and thanks to the extra baking soda, they’re rising a bit more than I expected (luckily they still taste good). If I finish this quickly, I might even get some time to nap before Thad gets here

2:30 – 5 cakes done. I’ve pretty much memorized the recipe by now. Wish I had some music or something to pass the time but I don’t want to wake my parents

3:00 – 8 cakes done. Nice

3:30 – 10. Man its quiet around here

3:32 – Aaaand I just heard a noise. Great. Its fine. Everything’s fine. It’s probably just the house settling or something

3:37 – The hallway is very dark

3:38 – I’m going to go turn on more lights now

4:00 – 14. Well, I’m not dead yet at least. I’m starting to lose steam though

5:00 – 20. Tired.

5:30 – 23. Both Mom and Dad woke up and tried to go about their day as if chocolate cakes weren’t cooling on nearly every available surface

6:00 – 25. After saying their goodbyes (and good lucks), my parents left for work, leaving me alone with my cakes and my thoughts

6:14 – I never thought eating chocolate cake would be this painful

6:30 – 28. Very tired. Almost done though. I think. I hope

7:00 – 31. I think I’m done with the cakes. Now, the icing

7:26 – Icing’s done. I just had to multiply the recipe by like 15. I had to put bags of icing sugar into it though. Bags. I’m glad Thad’s a velki cuz if he wasn’t, the sugar intake would have killed him.

7:41 – It’s done. I had to climb on the counter to ice the last few layers but its done! YES! YES! I’M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!

I dumped the rest of the icing on top of the cake to complete the look before climbing off the counter and admiring my handywork. To put it lightly, the cake was huge. A dang monolith, really. Hopefully it would be enough.

I grabbed my phone (after washing my hands) and wished Thad a happy birthday before asking if he could pick me up. Then I went back to the cake to add some finishing touches while waiting.

By the time I felt Thad shaking the ground, I’d finished carving the top of the cake to make it look more…cupcakey. I sprinkled the cake shavings on top of the icing mountain just as Thad stopped in front of the house. I let out a breath. It was done.

My phone buzzed.

Thaddeus: you ready?

Syren: Yeah. Give me a sec

Thaddeus: sure

I was about to go open the door for him when something stopped me in my tracks. Thad couldn’t get in here. Which meant I had to carry the cake out to him. With my bare hands. WHY HADN’T THIS OCCURRED TO ME BEFORE?

Trying not to panic, I looked around. The cake was too tall to fit out the kitchen window so that only left the front door. Okay, I had 2 options here. Ditch the cake and just give Thad the necklace or try to deadlift the Wedding Sized And Then Some cake by myself.

…I grabbed the edges of the pan and experimentally tried to lift it. It didn’t budge. I pulled some more, trying to recall whether you were supposed to lift with your back or your knees. The cake slammed back onto the table and I doubled over, panting. It definitely wasn’t the back.

Thad’s muffled voice came from outside. “You okay in there?”

I winced and pulled out my phone.

Syren: Yeah

Syren: Everything’s cool

Syren: Don’t worry

So lifting the cake wasn’t impossible. I just had to really want it. I tried to assess the distance I’d have to endure when I ran into yet another issue. Assuming I even managed to make it to the door, there was still the matter of walking down the steps. No can do.

Syren: Actually could you help me with something?

“Sure,” he replied. “What do you need?” If anyone passed us right now, they were probably going to think Thad was engaged in a one way conversation with an empty house but hey, he didn’t tell me how to live my life.

Syren: Could you hold your hand outside the door?

“…okay?” he replied, sounding confused. I couldn’t blame him.

I walked over to the door, counting the number of steps I had to take to reach it, and pulled it open. Thad sat in front of the house and smiled when he saw me, though I swore I saw confusion flash through his eyes for just a second. Maybe the lack of sleep was starting to get to me.

“…so how do you want to do this?”

After a few awkward, confusing and somewhat embarrassing failed attempts, Thad just let me drag his hand to where I wanted it to be and I pulled it as far into the house as it would go. The less work I had to do, the better. After signalling at Thad to wait there, I walked back over to my Archnemesis, took in a deep breath, let it out slowly and grabbed the tray.

…so deadlifting hurt. Who knew?

But finally, drenched in sweat, beyond depleted and having completely recited my will internally, I felt Thad’s fingers bump into my legs and slowly set the cake down, barely managing to push it far enough to prevent myself from face planting directly into it when I collapsed.

“Sy, holy shit,” Thad said upon seeing my defeated form. Turns out running on 2 hours of sleep and leftover cake shavings for several hours was actually a bad idea.

I felt Thad grab my sides and gently pull me the rest of the way onto his hand before lifting me into the air.

“You good?”

It took me a full minute to gather enough strength to even flip myself over (though finally managing to do so rewarded me with a full view of Thad’s concerned face). I brought up one of my aching arms and held up an index finger like, ‘Give me a second’ before turning to look at the cupcake.

And my heart sunk a little.

Because now that I had Thad for scale, I could see how miniscule the cake actually was. The thing wasn’t even half the size of a regular velki sized cupcake.

…why did I even bother?

Nevertheless, I turned back to Thad and pointed at the cake before letting my arm fall back to the ground.

Thad turned to look at the cake and I expected him to starting laughing at how small it was or something but instead he just stared at it.

Several moments passed in complete silence.

Then tears started to form in his eyes.

As you can imagine, I was a little distraught by this.

WHY WAS THAD CRYING? WAS IT BECAUSE OF HOW PATHETIC THE CAKE WAS? WAS THIS MY FAULT? WHAT HAD I DONE? I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. I SHOULD HAVE JUST GIVEN HIM THE NECKLACE. HE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY WITH JUST THE NECKLACE. UGH. AND THE CAKE LOOKED SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM. IT WAS TINY. WHY’D I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? I COULD HAVE JUST BOUGHT HIM SOME CAKE FROM A CAFÉ OR SOMETHING AFTER SCHOOL. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? WHY COULDN’T I GET ANYTHING RIGHT?

Thad finally turned to face me, causing my stomach to summersault. “Sy…you made this?” His voice was quiet.

I gulped. Looked away. Nodded.

“For me?”

I nodded again.

“…this is…I…,” he trailed off. Looked at the cake again. His lip quivered and then he let out a laugh. Then, to add to my growing distress, the tears started falling from his eyes. He sniffed. Laughed again. “Shit, my makeup,” he mumbled and started fanning his eyes with his free hand, giggling every now and then. Shaking his head. Perhaps I wasn’t the only one who needed more sleep.

He took a few seconds to compose himself before grinning at me again, his eyes sparkling now.

“Sy, I mean this with love, but look out.”

The word ‘love’ caught me so off guard that before I could even begin to process the rest of the sentence, Thad’s free hand had already completely engulfed me.

So, Thad had a grim reaper printed on his shirt today. I found this detail significant because the next thing I knew, I was dang near making out with it. I’m glad I had so much time to catch my breath earlier because Thad accidently knocked it out of me again. It took me a few seconds to even register that he was hugging me, one handed no less (nothing was supporting my feet). Still, I did my best to reciprocate the gesture.

After a few seconds of pretending I wasn’t melting into his embrace, Thad’s hand wrapped around me once more and soon I was seated next to the cake again. Thad lifted me up to his face and gave me a soft smile.

“Sy, thank you. Like, seriously thank you. This was…insanely sweet of you. Like,” he glanced at the cake again, “how long did this even take you?”

Syren: Like 7 hours

“Damn, really? I kinda don’t want to eat it now.”

Syren: Please do

Syren: I’m literally begging you

Syren: If I never saw a chocolate cake again for the rest of my life it would be too soon

Thad laughed. “Well, if you insist.”

And just like that, several hours of work (and weeks of preparation) were gone in a single bite.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

He set the empty pan down next to me and grinned, his eyeliner running quite freely now. I smiled back before typing out my next message.

Syren: Wait could you put me down for a second

Syren: I need to get something

“Oh, yeah. Sure.”

He lowered his hand to the ground and, after picking up the pizza pan, I climbed off his hand and headed back into the house as Thad started to redo his makeup. I put the pan in the sink (I’d clean it…and the rest of the kitchen after school) before running back upstairs and into my room. I located the necklace and hoisted it over my shoulder (it was a little heavy but not nearly as heavy as the cake had been) before making my way back down the stairs carefully.

I walked out the door and presented the necklace to Thad, who took it after a moment. He uncoiled it and held it up, beaming.

“I’ll admit, you know me well.” He slipped the necklace over his head before turning back to me. “How does it look?”

I gave him a thumbs up.

“Good. Cuz I’m never taking it off.”

His smile was contagious and before I knew it, I was smiling too.

“…we should get going,” he said after a few seconds, breaking the silence and the start of yet another staring contest. “Don’t want to be late and all.”

I waited for him to offer his hand or pick me up or something but instead he just continued staring at me blankly, as if waiting for something. I stared back and a few seconds later, that confused look of his came back in full force. He pursed his lips before one corner of his mouth went up in a half smile.

“…Sy, are you really going to school in your pyjamas?”

Stage 2: Anger

*ping*

My phone complained.

"Thanks you having taken care of moving your things so fast. If later, before you leave, you'll want to talk in person about what happened it might be a good idea." read the message on it.

Curious, so the weight of starting a conversation lies with me? Newsflash: I don't want to talk. The desire to talk disappeared a month ago after your last hurl of insults.

So since you didn't say you want to talk should I understand that this isn't you wanting to talk? It is you just granting me the decision of making the first step? Oh thank you for your kindness. It was unnecessary.

I guess asserting your will isn't a thing you managed to learn in this life yet.

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on you since it took me 30 years to able to do it myself, and it is still hard to do, but for some reason I feel like I justified this type of behaviour way too many times. All times too many.

With my mother, with you, with many other people. Unable to say what's on their mind and therefore hiding it under either snide remarks or indirect requests. I am tired.

Just like them you managed to make me fear smiles. You made me see how insincere they are. How they are used to hide whatever the person is actually feeling. Leaving me guessing if everything is fine or if maybe there are some untold problems that will appear at the first stumble.

More than anything I asked to tone down the insults aimed only to hurt me unless you wanted to end things. I guess I was stupid to even bother to expect you to understand what I meant. You did it more than I should have accepted since early in the relationship. I guess it's on me? Or maybe you wanted to end things and therefore this is your wanted outcome? Maybe I'll never know.

I cannot even fathom an answer right now because of how angry this makes me.

Let me hope tomorrow I'll feel better.

****************************************************************

Apparently waking up angry and with a flight in a couple of hours is actually very bad. As if I wasn't already under enough stress. I guess I do owe her an answer of sorts. Leaving people without an answer is the one level I wouldn't like to stoop down to.

"oh don't worry. I don't want to talk." I type in my phone.

That does sound a tad aggressive. Morning aren't really my thing.

"so does that mean you don't want to talk? Guess we are on the same boat." I rewrite.

I actually managed to make it worse did I?

Ach. This will take a while.

...

"I have my flight in a couple of hours. I don't think I can manage to fit an appointment.

I don't know what you would want to talk about since in your last messages 2 months ago you wrote how you you are not searching for reconciliation and wanted to put some full stops in this relationship.

This is the full stop you asked for. I don't understand why would want to make it a semicolon."

Said the message I wrote.

Would you look at that. I am just as bad as you in being direct. Guess nobody grew up thanks to this relationship. Such a sad realization.

Maybe I gave up on being direct? Since it would have been a waste of time to be confrontational after this relationship has been shattered into pieces? Such a good excuse.

The incapability of saying things as they are and the desire to be the least confrontational possible unless I feel a complete disregard for my person. Nah, probably even in the case of disregard for my person I would forgive. Sigh... More growing up to do.

*send*

I guess it is done. Hopefully in the most simple way possible. Quite sad, but maybe it is peaceful enough to move forward and not drag each other in the mud for no reason. Time to put my things together and move towards the airport.

*ping*

The moment of truth is upon us.

"I guess you are right. I thought it was possible to have a vis-à-vis in a mature way, but probably it is not advisable anymore. Have safe travels."

Ah yes: Passive aggressiveness and snide remarks. You were not missed. Now hell ensues.

*****All Hell Breaks Loose*******

"Are you happy after you wrote these things? As mentioned above you are free. I don't know why this conversation is happening if getting away from me is the goal. When you will be able to communicate with less anger, I will be more willing to talk. As things stand now I am happy like this" Read my last message.

Oh look I got blocked. I guess you were just as immature as me in the end. We really did make a cute couple after all.

It is time to grow up.

How does one do it?

21

As Bria’s immune system fought off her flu, she felt extremely tired. She slept a lot. So much so that Brad became worried. He emailed her oncologist about it. She responded that three naps a day was normal for someone as sick as her. He had every reason to be concerned because it was a very scary situation. She slept in until ten and then slept for up to three hours three times a day. He made sure she ate when she was awake and he bathed her every day after dinner.

Bath time was their favorite part of the day. It was just meant for them. He got to touch her in ways that only he could as her boyfriend. They couldn’t make love, so this replaced that. I love you. She loved him, too. He wished he could take away the cancer because it was slowly trying to kill the woman he loved. But, he couldn’t. His biggest fear was losing her.

He cried in private, as he begged to save her life. Fuck cancer! It didn’t have the right to take her away from him! He wanted to hold on to her tightly and never let her go. She was the first and only woman he had ever loved as much as he loved her. He wanted to marry her and hopefully, have a family with her. A Jewish wedding, of course with his parents and brothers. The band was also invited. Maybe her biological father and stepmother.

He would respect her decision on that. Maybe Mike would give her away, or his father. He could see either one of them bringing her down the aisle in her white wedding dress. Forever. That was how long he wanted to spend with her. It would be difficult but he wanted to try.

Even if forever was only four years. He wanted to spend it with her. Through sickness and in health. Mike asked him during band practice how far he was willing to go. The band looked at him while he thought about his answer. He would change her diapers and put formula in a feeding tube or he would hand-feed her.

“It’s not just about right now. You also have to think about the future. Nobody knows what’s going to happen tomorrow or next year. Her prognosis is good, but anything can happen. Maybe it will end up in her brain. It’s very hard, I know. We all know that. Nothing is certain.”

He nodded. “That’s my biggest fear. I don’t want to wake up one day to find out she died. Nothing can prepare you for that.”

They agreed. All they had was right now. Still, they had to prepare for the worst while hoping and praying for the best. She coughed into her arm while eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup. He rubbed her back. Did it go down the wrong tube? No, she just had to cough. Did anything come out? She shook her head. Good. He kissed the side of her head.

They had an appointment the next day to discuss the progress of her chemotherapy. He told the band he would be late. That was perfectly okay. After, she would hang out with them since Joyce and Donn had to work. He had headphones and face masks ready, along with hand sanitizer, snacks, water bottles, a hat, and her blanket. She joked about bringing a toddler with him to work. He laughed. She would have fun watching them practice.

And she did! They hugged her when she showed up. Yes, they washed their hands before they touched her. She looked like she was very sick, which saddened them. But, they put on a happy face for her. She was placed out of the way before being given her whiteboard, marker, and headphones. The blanket was already on her lap and the hand sanitizer was in her side pocket.

She also had her bottle of water. Chester asked about the whiteboard. That was for her to communicate with since her sore throat made it hard for her to talk. That made sense. She put the headphones on. Was she ready for a free concert? She gave them two thumbs up, making them laugh. Ok, good! That was what she got! They went through each song until it was perfect. She removed her mask to take drinks of water before putting it back up.

Mike helped her to the bathroom during one of their breaks. When she got back, she wrote on the whiteboard: FUCKING AWESOME! They laughed when they read it. Somehow, she managed to take a nap through their loud playing. They noticed her with her eyes closed. Rob checked on her and discovered she was asleep. They decided to leave her be.

They checked on her during their next break. Yeah, she was okay. Two hours later, she woke up. Joe asked her how she could sleep with their loud music. I was fucking tired and these headphones block out a lot of noise, so it’s not as loud. I can still hear you guys, though. You sound fucking awesome! They didn’t mind her falling asleep because she needed her rest, especially since she was fighting the flu virus. Even so, she was still their biggest cheerleader!

Rob secretly confessed to Brad that he had a crush on him. He was scared to tell him because he didn’t want to add to his stress. Even with his crush, he could put his feelings aside for his happiness. He just had to tell him because it was eating him up. Brad thanked him for his honesty. He also appreciated that he thought about his feelings.

“Rejection is hard. I know and I wish I could make this easier because I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to lose you as a friend or a brother. I am honestly proud of you for telling me. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been. No matter what, I will always be here for you.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me!”

“You’re welcome!”

They hugged before going back to everyone. Joe, Chester and Mike were keeping Bria company. They talked to her and she wrote her responses. It was like having a genuine conversation. She wrote about her cats. They liked to jump up on her lap and ride around with her. Sometimes they fell asleep on her lap. It was adorable. Did they both sit on her lap or just one at a time?

Sometimes they both did! Tiny almost fell into the bathtub. Joyce was able to pull her off before she fell in. How many times did she have to take a bath? Every day because of germs, even if she didn’t go anywhere. It was just to keep her immune system strong. Through her writing, they found the woman they loved. She was still there. Chester rubbed her back when she coughed into her arm. Nothing came out, but she washed her hands with hand sanitizer.

They replaced her mask with a clean one. Joe went into the bathroom to wash his hands after throwing the old one away. Mike followed him to see how he was doing. Joe never cried in front of people. It just wasn’t who he was. But when he saw Mike, tears were coming out of his eyes. I’m sorry. He didn’t say anything as he wrapped him in a hug. Thank you.

“You’re welcome. Never be ashamed of showing emotion, even the hard ones. We won’t judge you.”

He nodded. “She’s going to be okay. I just have to think positively. She’s going to beat cancer. I can’t think of anything else.”

“Nobody knows for sure what tomorrow will bring. All we can do is trust the doctors. Come over tonight and hang out. Just us.”

“I will. Thank you.”

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

♡ LIFE UPDATE ♡

I got enrolled in cosmetology school, and I'm starting on March 14th! In the same day, I also got the job at Goodwill! It's a position sorting through donations and finding sell-able goods, so I won't even hardly have to interact with customers. I'll just wear gloves, and I think it'll be a great fit because it will work with my school hours, and it's like a 5 minute drive from my apartment! I'm super grateful that things are working out.

I just need my doctor to complete her certification for my disability because the month is less than half over at this point, and I need my rent money for March. It's been 2 weeks now and she still hasn't done it. Hopefully Goodwill will have me start early next week so that I can get a check from them asap also. I'll be okay once I get past March's rent.. I just need to get through it. Money is going to be tight since I can't do 40 hours a week while doing school, but I will be optimistic and smart with the money I do make, and make it all work.

In other news, things are going better with my boyfriend. I saw him today and he apologized for being an asshole lately and said he will work on himself, and that he also hasn't been taking his *very important* thyroid medication consistently, and thinks that is probably making him moody which is 100% possible. We had a good day, and I'm feeling a lot better about things. Though I'll definitely still be cautious for a bit still.

I also found out I'll get a 25% discount at Goodwill as an employee! That's so exciting, it will make everything even extra cheaper. And I need new black clothes for school because the uniform is white/black clothes only, so I'll definitely go shopping there as I already would've- but now with an extra discount.

I also went to the gym once since I wrote last. I really, really need to go again tomorrow. It's very important that I start going more consistently. Especially because my eating habits have been getting worse the last few days... and I have to stick to making progress. I want to feel good about myself for my 27th birthday the end of this May. It's extremely important that I feel proud of myself, and feel that I'm finally making some accomplishments because I've largely only let myself down in life so far.

I think it's time to take my makeup off and lay down for bed. I'm super tired. The last couple of days have been productive and full of good news and progress.

Goodnight *moon emoji*