If two single characters start arguing in a "they're so annoying" way and not an "I hate them" way in a Rick Riordan book, you know those two characters are going to get together eventually.

hannibal really hit will with the 🥺 every time he was suspicious in s1 and will was like nah dw baby I’m turning off the empath powers just for you it’s cool we’re co-parenting a whole kid now it doesn’t matter that you’re my psychiatrist and this is totally weird we’re boy best friends it’s fine I won’t tell the cops even though I am the cops

Not to be the hottest woman ever but I know how to fix cars and I can chop a log with an axe in one stroke

Five: You know what? I don't want to continue this conversation

One of his siblings: Okay? And what are you going to do? We have to talk!

Five: This

Five: HELP THIS STRANGER IS TRYING TO KIDNAP ME

Five bolts in the opposite direction

PLEASE IM WHEEZING

stupid idiot. get kissed dumdum

When you're trying to reach the word count so you get rid of every "people" and hit em with the "men, women, and children"

One of my favorite DIY bunny enrichment toys when my rabbits are especially bored and destructive is getting sea grass mats and just weaving bunny chews like hay sticks, cardboard, and bamboo into them

Zelda's main attack move: frog to the face

I’m sorry but if your microwave cooking instructions involve adjusting the wattage of the microwave I am abandoning your garbage packaging instructions. Clearly you do not understand. If I am making food using the microwave, I have already selected the option that requires the least amount of effort and will not be wasting time adjusting the settings on the minimal effort food heating machine. Me and my add 30 seconds button will take it from here, thank you.

Sometimes when I feel like @ablogofsapphicpanic isn't paying enough attention to me, I go into the guardian creator in BG3 and create the most cursed man, send her a snap chat of his face, and caption it "dream daddy"

And she gets back to me within 10 minutes or less

ADHD LIFE HACK

Become best friends with another adhd-er so that when you inevitably run late due to executive dysfunction, poor time management skills and thinking you forgot your keys AGAIN only to find them in your bag where you first looked, they won’t mind because they will also be running late

some hysterical mattmac/tom edits I found on pinterest