#woke up at 5 AM for this lmao. anyway almost there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crypticjackal13 · 2 years

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Could I request some Mk TLC? Mk x F!s/o who's soft spoken and caring, like she does everything in her power to be a safespace and help Mk de-stress and relax (EG. Mk:*desperately trying to reassure her that 'he's fine' despite being completely disheveled and look dead on his feet* / S/o:*Who's already made tea and mooncakes and now is gently pushing him into a chair* I'm sure you are sweetheart~ but take 5 for a moment ok <3 ) Sorry if this is wordy.

I prefer the wordy asks if I I’m honest! I get a better understanding of where you want the story to go and it makes my brain shut up about getting it wrong lmao. Anyways this is adorable and I love this idea

Tender Love and Care(one shot)(497 words)

MK(he/they)x Fem!Reader(she/her)

There wasn’t a lot that MK wouldn’t do for Y/N. She knew this extremely well, considering that he was the hero of the city. Despite wielding powers that she could only dream of, he thought that she was the one that was out of their league. It was a constant flustering battle as to how much the two would boost each other’s confidence.

Lately she found herself alone more often. MK was never without some task to carry out. Delivering noodles, training with Monkey King, generally running errands…it took up a lot of their schedule. He always came home late, barely making it under their shared covers before passing out. When the morning came, he was gone before she even woke up. It was becoming too common and she could tell by how they sighed after shutting the door that it was getting to him.

So, what’s a woman to do?

Well, she convinced Mr. Tang to convince Pigsy to let MK have a few days off. She insisted on going with MK to see Monkey King so she could pull the sage aside and tell him that she was going to put her boyfriend on house arrest. Thank goodness he was on her side, saying that he’d noticed MK struggling a bit.

So that night, when MK got home, she was waiting for him. She had prepared some egg fried rice so he could consume something besides noodles before going to bed. They did appreciate the meal, but he was saying how he was just going to go to bed the whole time.

“Y/N, I’m fine. Look, if I was really exhausted, would I be able to do this?” They held still, with their arms out. She stood back, thinking he would try to do some monkey magic. But nothing happened.

“Are you trying to get your staff or something?” Y/N asked.

“I’m trying to do a cartwheel. Am I not doing it?”

“No…”

“Oh.”

She got them into the bathroom and took a quality shower, and after, he relaxed a bit more as she helped them dry his hair. The whole time she was doing so, they kept almost falling asleep.

“That was nice, but we gotta sleep so I can go to work tomorrow…” They yawned.

“You don’t have work tomorrow. Or training. It’s just gonna be us.”

He turned around so fast that his neck cracked. But she stared them down, explaining that there was no way he’d be able to keep up with anything if he was tired. He pouted, still wanting to protest, but the way she looked at him with such genuine worry and determination to make them feel okay made that line of thought dissolve.

The pair made their way to the bedroom and got comfortable under the covers, with his head nestled in the crook of her neck and one of your hands running through his hair.

“Thank you, Y/N…”

“Anything for you, MK.”

#lego monkie kid #lmk mk #lmk x reader #lmk qi xiaotian #lmk #mk x reader #fem reader #comfort #mk deserves lots of love

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udon-udon · 3 months

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anyway, a big recap of my victoria bc trip

got up at 6:50 am ish and then headed out at 7:20 took the train and bus to the ferry terminal and then headed to victoria yay, lined up for a a breakfast meal for the ~experience~ and that pretty much took up most of the time. Arrived and took the bus to the royal bc museum, almost missed my bus due to it being full but someone pointed to the huge line to go take the other bus, got lucky there.

The Royal BC Museum was cool, though there wasn't much to it cause there were no feature exhibit at that time and one part of the museum was under reno, but it was still fun nonetheless!! I didn't realize how dark it was so honestly I was a lil spooked at times esp cause I was alone haha. Since it was a very nice day I went down to the Fisherman's Wharf cause I wouldn't have time on saturday and i heard the weather wasn't gonna be good on sunday. Most of the shops were closed for the season LMAOO so there wasn't much to see, but thankfully there was 1 fish n chips shop open and i bought some yum yum, it was very filling. Walked back to downtown and went through the Miniature World museum and it was super cute!!! It was also a lil spoopy for parts of it cause there were portions of it where it was dark and there weren't many people going through it.

Headed to the airbnb around 5 ish, and then chilled for a bit. Was wanting to order dinner but the place I wanted to order to was too busy at that time to take in takeout orders so i had to schedule it at 8 sobs but thats okay cause i was still full from the fish n chips, so i just chilled and tried to nap. The dinner was kinda mid ngl, wish i got the lasagna but i was like "but i can get lasagna anywhere else" it was okay but still LOL. also splurged and bought a cheesecake as well, that was pretty good though. couldn't finish it so i saved half of it for tomorrow's dinner.

The next day was con day!! I was supposed to go to a brunch place but i slept in a little and then when i got there, the line was pretty long and i didnt want to wait so im like eh okay nvm ima just go back home and eat the breadsticks i didn't eat yesterday LOL as well as the creme brulee given by the airbnb host they're so nice. And then I made my way to the con and omg it was a lot of walking lol. Got in and hung around mainly in the artist alley!! I was supposed to go watch the cosplay contest but i lost track of time and missed it LMAO OOPS. I spent waaay more than I thought I would, but very happy with my purchases and wish i bought more haha but my backpack literally would have no room for it. I spent the remaining time at my friends table til like 6:30 and made a new friend that was tabling with her, she was super kind and fun

Got home and picked up dinner on the way, ordered a mixed kebab meal set and it was so good and the portion was huge, very worth it and very delicious. Spent the rest of the night eating and showering and watching youtube and packed a little bit before leaving tomorrow.

Woke up the next day, final day, it was damn pouring in the morning sadly, so I just stayed in the airbnb until 10:50 and then made my way to explore the Chinatown (which I found out is the second oldest Chinatown in North America???? damn). Went to the little Chinatown museum and saw some cool stuff and then walked around the area and the shops nearby. Went to Boardwalk Burgers and chilled until it was time to catch the bus to the ferry.

I arrived hella early cause if I didn't take the bus I took, i would have been late to my ferry;;; BUT MY FERRY GOT DELAYED. So I just spent a lot of time sitting at the waiting area playing my 3DS LOL Made some progress in AA5 again finally, i haven't played it in sooo long ( i really should finish it, as well as spirit of justice, and i still have the great chronicles to play;;) Got on the ferry and played some more AA5 and holy cow the line for the cafeteria was so long im glad i didn't decide to eat dinner there cause I was originally gonna but thank god i didnt. Napped a lil before arriving at the bay aaaand then went home :)

Overall, very nice trip!! Even though I was alone, I had a blast exploring and seeing things and got to take my time to explore shops and whatever I wanted. I had no budget planned going into this and I probably should have cause I spent... quite a lot, but oop.

#adventures with udon

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pineavley-blog · 11 months

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THREE PAT #lifeupdate5

okkk so today i spent my (almost) whole day at hoomeeee😘😘😘

1. i woke up late (at 8 am) and missed the solat subuh HUFT ASTAGFIRULLAH ALLAH FORGIVE ME 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 tp zuzur tadi langsung wudhu kok tapi langsung kebelet jdnya eek dlu huhuuu

2. i had zoom meeting pembekalan kkn with pupr and unsoed and we zoomed till around 1 pm hehe I GOT 100 on post test (im cool)

3. when my zoom ended, welma came after kena php sm rs and she is stayed while waiting rain stops. i wash my baju kotor anyway

4. BTW IM WEARING IRENE SETS FROM TASIA BF'S STORE! this sets is so comfy and i think i will buy another one!

5. i almost skipped simulasi kebhinekaan huft and it was hectic CAUSE I HAVEN'T DOWNLOADED THE CBT APP YET but im trying my best AND ITS WORKING! i finished it well HUFT (thanks for bffs on tele, wish u luck guyss)

6. truss apa yaaa tadi seharian hujan trs baru reda pas magrib (keknya soalnya guweh tdur brooo) dan abis isyaaa me and enci went to indomaret and larizza to get our dinner food. THAT WAS LIT because we are the last people who bought there and the mas2 gave us extra tempe and es teh LMAO but thank u so muchhhhh

7. i also repurchased netflix 1 minggu from viola shop which i randomly found while scrolling zonauang on twitter. she's super kind and i promised i will be berlangganan there hehehe her netflix also murah banget omg HOW CAN I SHE SELLS NETFLIX 1U FOR ONLY 10K???? my nenek said she is penjual nabi for real

8. okkk and now im gonna continue king the land that i watched pas makan hehehe YOONA AND JUNHO CAKEP BGT SUEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! tadi mereka ada rumor pacaran tp di tolak guys jd stoppppppppp ak sdih bgt

9. bonus I WATCHED LITTLE WOMAN AND CRYING HUHUU I LOVE THIS MOVIE

BYEEEEE bsk pagi haruska bgun pagi tuk antar enci and go to pelepasan kkn bcs im cool girl :*

#ceritatacila

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elliebear666 · 1 year

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It's 4 am and I woke up at 3:50 in the morning. I've been waking up every single goddamn night around 3-6 am. This is because my psychiatrist, due to Zyprexa causing constant hunger and weight gain, changed me to a different antipsychotic.

However, thanks to this change, I've lost almost 20 lbs. But the waking up every night is difficult and I'm worried it will push me into a depressive or manic episode/exacerbate personality symptoms.

So, anyway... things I've noticed after 8 years of therapy:

1. I still deal with "splitting." You're good, amazing, perfect, the best thing in my life, I want to talk to you all the time to: You're a worthless piece of shit and I hope you fucking die and rot in the heat of the sun. I hate you so much I would laugh if you died. Sometimes, these thoughts spill into my world when I just spew horrible shit from my mouth or fingertips. I have said... horrifically awful things to people when I've split on them. Tbf, these days, I'm mostly splitting on favorite persons or family and it is usually less often.

2. I still occasionally have explosive anger/rage outbursts, almost get into physical fights, get tunnel vision over internet fights, have difficulty controlling my anger. It is not nearly as bad as before, though. I used to constantly blow up, and the people in my life told me they felt like they were always "walking on eggshells." Which makes me feel incredibly ashamed and guilty… I've had anger and rage problems since I was little.

3. My relationships are still stormy and intense, and either involve me becoming initially completely and utterly infatuated or obsessed and "falling in love" at the drop of a hat, or eventually becoming obsessed. Not in every potential relationship, but the vast majority. I get jealous and insecure and constantly fear abandonment, which can lead me to seeking reassurance and validation that I'm valued in the relationship. Which, apparently, is difficult to deal with. At least my jealousy isn't as bad as it used to be. It used to be… BAD BAD. It caused me to act in very possessive ways that were detrimental to the relationship and hurt my partners.

4. I still have paranoia and paranoid ideations when particularly stressed, and sometimes just in general. Something happens in my life and my brain automatically looks for patterns of why this "isn't a coincidence." It's led me down some dark rabbit holes. A few years ago I spent months looking for cameras in my room because I was so stressed out by a flying monkey situation and wondered if they had put cameras in my room lmao

5. I still dissociate. It isn't as severe as it used to be. I used to like… spend days not even there. I'd just wear a placid and empty expression as I swam in utter nothingness. I'd watch myself from afar, feeling like I was living life from behind a thick, foggy glass window. I felt like I wasn't real, I felt like nothing was real, and wondered many times if I was just asleep and when I'd wake up. Due to dissociation and just generally not being present most of the time - not even related to dissociation - I haven't made a lot memories… which can make me feel like I have no history, that my life is this strange sequence of events that I only partially partake in.

6. I still feel empty. It isn't NEARLY as bad as before. Like… my god, I used to do anything and everything I could to fill the emptiness. Sex, drugs, impulsive road trips, hurting myself, alcohol, buying things, binge eating and then feeling ashamed and purging. I would get into relationships and situationships just to assuage this crippling emptiness whose existence stifled most of the joy or passion in my life. I felt like a hollow shell of a human being and, at one point, toldy therapist that I felt like, if I took a knife to my wrists and cut myself open, there would he nothing beneath my skin. Just an agonizing, echoing emptiness. I had to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING to distract myself from how utterly and completely hollow I felt on the inside. It was just… my god. I cannot express the amount of suffering I experienced due to constantly feeling empty…

7. My impulsivity is vastly reduced. I used to like… all the time anything went wrong, or I felt too empty, or bored, hurt, angry, etc. do something incredibly impulsive to soothe those intense emotions. Whether that was buying things I shouldn't have, binge eating, drinking alcohol and using drugs, having sex with a bunch of different partners, or jumping into relationships. It was all very self destructive.

8. My sense of self used to be borderline nonexistent. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted out of life. I changed my opinions and goals and likes often as I relentlessly chased something resembling stability. I felt like I became the people I was around - my mom used to comment, in a worried way, that it was like I, in a way "became my partners." She said it was upsetting and scary. I was an empty chameleon, desperately trying to find love and acceptance. I would reinvent myself every once in a while, though not to the extreme, usually in the form of changing how I would dress or act. Now, I feel like I have a more concrete sense of self. It isn't constantly shifting, even though I still feel directionless and don't know what I want out of life or, in some ways, who I am. Like… I wonder sometimes if the personality I'm projecting is even me or just another persona that I'm wearing. I'd like to think that I'm me now, but sometimes I wonder….

9. Self harm and suicidal ideations and threats… golly gee willikers. I used to hurt the shit out of myself. I'd cut myself, burn myself, punch myself, hit my face and body. Even while I was working, I'd cut myself in the bathroom… I threatened countless times to end my life over… oftentimes situations that didn't warrant such a reaction. Then, after most breakups, I would become extremely suicidal, thinking I was an evil piece of shit that deserved to be "abandoned" or I would feel that I had been mistreated and would react with rage. Most of the time, I would default to self harm and suicide attempts/ideation even if I was initially angry. I got locked up a few times after the breakup that happened a few years ago. Got put in the back of a police car once and brought to the mental ward and had my family threaten me with lock up… god, idk how many times lmao. I've been hurting myself, in one way or another, since I was a teen. These days, I'm not hurting myself much. I burned myself about 6 or 7 times after a guy rejected me, and fell into a deep depression, planned my suicide, would drink constantlying, etc. But I haven't harmed myself in months :)

10. Intense emotional swings. So… I have always been a very intense and emotional person. Since I was little, I felt like, sometimes, the emotions inside my little body were too big for such a small vessel. As I aged, my mood became increasingly erratic and unstable. It got VERY bad while I was working. I would feel one intense emotion over some trigger, and would experience a prolonged episode after the fact. It would feel like… if I was angry at a situation, I would be infuriated, homicidal, shaking with rage. And then I would shift to elated joy and euphoria that felt like I was having a manic episode. From there, I would go anywhere. Sometimes into a deep and dark despair, to feeling like I was agonizingly alone and rejected or abandoned. I feel like… I just was always in pain tbh. About one thing or another. I feel like I was horribly sensitive to the world around me and every little thing would elicit an extreme reaction. So, before I got diagnosed bipolar, I told my old psychiatrist that I was experiencing what I believed to be "rapid cycling bipolar symptoms." However, bipolar doesn't cause extreme emotional responses to everything all day. I could go to work feeling on top of the world, then go from that to despair, anger, infatuation, insecurity, or any of a plethora of emotions, and each one was just… a huge wave of feelings. It became absolutely and completely exhausting. I was exhausted by my changes in mood. These days, I'm not reacting as extremely as I was to every little thing. I'm not always in as much pain, I'm not constantly shifting emotional states and moods. I feel like I've found, in some ways - as long as literally nothing goes wrong lmao - a sense of stability. I'm still intense, but my reactions are not as severe as they used to be and my moods are not CONSTANTLY reacting to every little thing in my life.

11. Abandonment. I touched on this to an extent… but this will go into it in more depth. So… I have had a fear of abandonment and being left alone since I was little, but it was mostly about my mom. As a teen, and as I developed bonds with friends, I began to worry about being left by my friends. As I got older and became more interested in relationships, despite having issues with dysphoria and sex and intimacy, that fear of abandonment and rejection sensitivity became overwhelming. In any rejection scenario, I have frantically and pathetically tried to prevent what I perceived as "abandonment." I would develop these very intense and all consuming bonds with people and often come to believe that the relationship was closer and more intimate than it really was. In relationships, I would hurt myself or sometimes say I might hurt myself when faced with abandonment. Not an idle threat, but a real and true possibility and, often times, an eventual reality. It's been bad throughout my adult life, specifically, but it was horrendous with the girl I dated a few years ago. I was jealous, insecure, possessive, and constantly feared that she would abandon me. However, my unstable disposition, my anger outbursts, jealousy and insecurity served only to drive her away. As the relationship was coming to an end, I became increasingly erratic and frantic as I tried to convince her I was worth it. I begged, I stalked her in an attempt to her to talk to me, I sent countless texts, emails, made new phone numbers to contact her, snapchat, tumblr. I harassed her for months… and I feel so fucking guilty and ashamed that I have tortured myself with self-harm and physical and emotional self-flagellation. I went to insanely extreme lengths to prevent this abandonment. I pretended I ran out of gas on a road trip, I can't even remember everything I did. It was absolutely fucking crazy and toxic and scary and bizarre. I tried to kill myself in this one incident and desperately called her friend crying and screaming… I'd taken a lethal dose of psych meds and… my god I just… I feel so fucking ashamed. I hated myself. I wanted to kill myself over this unhinged behavior. I'm sorry… I truly, truly am sorry. I wish I could take it all back… but fucking can't. I'm sorry. I didn't… I don't think I really realized how bad things were getting. I didn't realize what the effects of my undiagnosed BPD was going to do to anyone. I couldn't even think past my own pain and suffering and extreme emotional problems and issues with self-regulation. These days, it's still a issue. It isn't NEARLY as severe. It's bad but… not AS bad. I still get frantic when I fear I'm being abandoned, I might beg and plead, I will act out impulsively in some misguided attempt to keep them close. But more often than not, this serves to push others away, not keep them close. It definitely has not gone to the extreme lengths of the past. I hope it never does again. I will make sure I don't get that bad again.

So… at this point, I feel like I'm so much better than I used to be. But like, things aren't perfect. And I worry sometimes I will continue to have these issues for many years to come. I'm not sure what to do about dismantling every maladaptive pattern and dealing with extreme reactions to life events, fears of abandonment, emptiness, anger and rage.

I want to be better, entirely. But sometimes I wonder if better is more a state of mind than an actual state of existence.

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crstnjnblr · 1 year

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Woke up at around 5:10 am and we were finally at our destination in Ternate, Cavite. All of us registered and signed a waiver before hiking (anxiety level spiked for a sec hahaha), and watched an 8-minute video about Mt. Palay-Palay-Mataas-na-Gulod where Pico de Loro is situated. After watching the video, all I can say is hands down to the efforts of DENR for protecting this mountain and for giving the community opportunities and livelihood. Also remembered my forester friends - Rye, Franet, and Dids - your job is awesome!

We began the hike when the light finally shone upon the fields lol around 5:40 am I think. We literally just started but the number of ascent we already did? Uhmmmm??? HAHAHA. I don't know why but I didn't expect that many assaults lol. I obviously should've 'cause it's a fvckin' mountain! Anyways, there were 9 stations to pass before reaching the summit. Chie and I were just at the 2nd station but it already felt like the 9th, like forever. We were already gasping for air and our muscles were already feeling the strain. The path was really steep but thanks to the intervention of stairs made of stacked rocks, the climb became more convenient. Thangs are already going on inside my head like "Susuko na ba? Kaso sayang naman binayad namin. Shet," lmao. That went on and on until we reached stations 4 and 5. I mean, we're halfway there! But I told Chie to just inform me if he doesn't wanna carry on any longer 'cause he's surprisingly having a harder time. We were explicitly told during the orientation, there's no shame in quitting, there's courage in quitting. And I loved that. I held onto that HAHAHA.

Honestly speaking, there's almost no chance to *intimately* bond with the other joiners. We've had conversations but of course we're more focused on our own steps, catching our own breaths, and on reaching the summit. In the few conversations we had, I discovered that our organizers are a group of journalists and cameramen from different stations like UNTV and CNN. During the hike, they told us about their policies specifically "Tulong Muna, Bago Balita." They were trained to do rescue operations during disasters and they told us some gore stories they covered which required them to respond on the field. They're really interesting people with exciting jobs aaand I sadly didn't get to know all their names haha. At times like that, I just wish I had more powerful social skills to actually know more about them :<

Photos from Breaking Borders

There were a lot of times during the hike that one really had to psych himself up to actually finish it. I mean, I pep talked myself a hundred times. Mindset ba, mindset >u< Other members of our group with advanced trekking experiences, especially our eco tour guides were also very encouraging to us beginners. And man, my rented trekking pole. What a life saver! I had no idea how helpful it can be! Seriously, get one if you plan to hike. Anyways, they told us to not push ourselves too hard, to take a break and hydrate ourselves, to take it one step at a time. Our guide, Kuya Ariel, even offered to carry our bags for us to lessen our sufferings lmao. He also literally supported Chie and I in climbing some of the most complex parts of the trail. He's such a sweet and caring dude, seriously. I wish him all the good things in life haha.

And then finally... The summit. I was there, on top of the world (chour) and found myself already worrying about descending the mountain HAHAHAHA. Seriously though, I had to shake my head a little bit to halt the anxiety and remind myself to just savour the moment, the sudden rush and whistles of wind, clashing of colors of the vast ocean below and the greens along the horizon, the faint sound of birds, just nature really, and my little triumph of conquering the top... Just for a moment. I sat on a rock and drank my water. Told Chie how beautiful it was. I've been longing for this for months already, and now it's in front of me. Sooo picturesque. It was a warm embrace after a very exhausting climb. The lack of thoughts during my quick stay on the summit is a bit disturbing though. Idk, did I expect myself to have some existentialism slash stoical momintss while on the summit? Maybe I did HAHAHA. Meanwhile, Chie was so worried about the strong winds XD We did photo ops and I thought dannggg I really don't know how to pose, do I? Lol.

We then began to descend after an hour or so because the second batch of hikers are almost on the summit too. It was ofc still a struggle to descend. Apparently, what we did was "back trail". We just went again on the same path, same slopes, did the same climb but backwards lol. We were able to finish the descent around 12 noon already and so after we washed ourselves, our group found a lomi and goto batangas place near Kaybiang tunnel, and we all ate our hearts out.

All in all, it was such a proud moment for me. I really wanted to do it, to experience it. I often remember my mom. She would tell me stories about Ninang Susan, her friend who loved adventures - hiking among others. And mama would tell me she also wanted to experience those but didn't get the chance to.

Mama, I did it! It's just one mountain though, my first one! But I did ittttt. You've always been worried about my health, my body. Well, it's still intact! XD And although I still have insecurities about it, I wanna take this time and appreciate my currently sore body that brought me closer to the sky, closer to you.

For I am a part of you, we conquered it together, Ma. My heart is actually happy. I hope you saw me on top of the parrot's peak up there!

#journal #pico de loro

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aamethyst000 · 2 years

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Nov 1, 22 3:10pm

our internet has been out for 3 days now, my little brother is getting impatient and I am starting to feel bored. I am reading my books but it doesn't feel the same as I am on my phone. i am also listening to music a lot more that I normally do, and I am getting bored from that. I almost want to take a nap but I don't want to. I am just bored and u just may have to put up with it for now. the wiring is broken somewhere in the waters. I found out from the lady at the front desk (clinic) and they are waiting for some dude to come up from Vancouver to fix the thing. so it may be longer than we all like. oh well, I think I just may nap anyway. gor stuff to do but I can't seem to get up and do them.

I noticed I seem to put myself on a time limit when it comes to my own chores. I have to remind myself every now and again when I do realize this.

3:25pm - we are just having a toke, I almost had a nap. and hoo boi is it ever chilly in the house. on my second cup of coffee, I think coffee is starting to make me sleepy, however, I get a headache if I don't drink my usual amount of coffee. I may have to think about slowing down a bit before picking back up again. oh, yeah, and I woke up really late this morning. I woke up at 11am, lately, I have been waking up late. yet, I have been going to bed at like 1-2am and my alarm clocks are L O U D man. my phone is even on my bed, I mean, cmon. I wanna know what is going on.

5:35pm - I. am. bored. I know what I can do, but idk if I can find the energy to do so. I also have to cook dinner, so, there's that. u was very tempted to take a nap, I was tired enough and I was not doing anything. as you can tell. I did not, in fact, take a fckn nap. I'm thinking I should go make another pot of coffee in a bit. just so I can keep myself awake. it has been very quiet in the house, quite fascinating when you are experiencing it. my cat has been napping by me all day today, I have been listening to music nonstop. been feeling really fidgety too, I think that is why I want to nap.

10:22pm - managed to stay up to cook. we had BBQ chicken and rice! it was so fckn yummy~ I am just now piling the dishes to clean and put away tomorrow. assuming that the internet won't go back on until who knows when. so I'll be finding ways to keep myself busy until the internet is back on. I am on my fourth cup of coffee, over my limit on coffee intake. oh well, needed it for tonight. I have been listening to music all fckn day just to keep my thoughts somewhat calm, I was gonna say in line but that felt wrong to say lol so, yeah. that has been my day today. slow and boring. I actually had to deal with my boredom and I didn't like that at all. no wonder we as humans get really upset when we are not kept busy. like damn, my brain cannot rest for shit.

1:40am - welp, I thought I was going to go to bed early, apparently not. Danny was late going to bed, only because we ate pretty late. I get the feeling danny snooped around in my room again for my stash. he is not going be my roommate if he keeps this up. the citywest website says the estimated time it'll be fixed is sometime after 2pm, im thinking it'll go back on late at night again. I wonder what the damage was after the literal storm we had a few days ago. and it's only Wednesday for crying out loud lmao

#happy #photographer nature #photographer amethyst000 #photographer #photography #nature #2spirit #journalist amethyst000 #journalist #journaling #journal #blog #blogger #queer

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allxsposts · 2 years

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So i had another sleep paralysis episode for the second night in a row. Last night it was something short like most of the time. I usually realize pretty quickly and I am able to make myself wake up. I don't know how it's for you, but when I try to wake up from sleep paralysis I start to take quicker breaths, idk how it works but it just sort of makes me aware of the fact that I am on that line between waking up and being asleep, but it was specifically harder last night to move cause i felt that i tried to move my arms which were like on my chest, like I usually sleep. I was not... no, actually I remember moving on my back and that's when I was having sleep paralysis.

But now I was on my right side, I was having a dream in like two parts I guess, in the first one I dreamt something about Hopper (from stranger things lmao) and then something about my parents and my mom being somehow attacked, I never knew how or why but my brother, dad and I were worried because she was not home (the dreams was in our old apartment, we moved out about three years ago to the country side). Then my dad brought her home and she was really mad, she had her left arms bandaged.

Anyway, I was suddenly back in my room and saw a vague tall and thin figure coming to me and sitting like on the edge of the bed and rubbing my back, could've also said something to me like "it's okay" i am not sure. I panicked and tried to wake up but it was way harder than the night before, like i sort of was in a deeper state. It was hard to quicken my breaths to make myself wake up, it was impossible to move and I think I felt my eyelids or my eyes moving a lot to open them.

And I also noticed that now I woke up before dusk, so it was still dark, while last night i woke up when the light was already starting to appear outside.

Yeah, sorry for my rant at almost 5 am, but i needed somewhere to talk. If there are any other people with similar recent experience 😭

#sleep #sleep paralysis #anxiety #sleeping #late night #i need someone to rant to #rant #txt #txt post #anxious

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orcelito · 3 years

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Need everyone to know I've only gotten stronger the past 2 years so yes my cardio has suffered so I'll be dying for the first however long it takes me to get used to riding my bike everywhere again BUT once I DO

Im gonna have thighs and biceps for DAYS

#speculation nation #ok this isnt entirely true my biceps are unfortunately not That bit #big* BUT theyre bigger than before #im growing stronger bit by bit and im gonna be getting a big workout tomorrow #i can comfortably carry the 50 lbs water softener and sugar bags at work so im doing well #making boxes that i can comfortably carry which may or may not end up being a nuissance to the people helping me move #anyways ive gained like 10 lbs in the past year and maybe that's just hair weight bc ive been growing my hair out and it's fucking thick #and maybe it's my higher consistency of drinking things i bring back from work while i write bc my brain likes drink treats while writing #and MAYBE it's the fact that i stopped taking my meds again 🤔#but i'd LIKE to think it's the weight ive gained of Muscle #honestly it's probably all of the above lmao. i'd probably lose like 5 lbs if i chopped all my hair off.#ANYWAYS im trying to not let the society-instilled-body-shaming get to me #honestly it's a Good thing i gained weight. i was toeing the line of underweight for a bit there #honestly im almost 20 lbs more than i was when my psychiatrist was like 'pls start drinking protein shakes'#the protein shakes worked and im swol now and im gonna fuckin rock it tomorrow #assuming my heightened sleep struggles dont knock me out first #where am i going with this. idk. im sleep deprived. i just woke up. and i have to pack ALL my shit up TODAY.

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nikrangdan · 3 years

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enhypen x short!reader

pairing: enhypen x short!reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: how enhypen would react to a short reader!!! this was requested btw i hope u guys like 😁 ive written separate headcanons for sunghoon and jay before but i wrote more here anyways 😏 THERES A COUPLE CUSS WORDS IN HERE

———————

HEESEUNG:

okay lets get this straight

hes literally the tallest member in enha

and then ur the shortest in ur friend group

POWER COUPLE ⁉️⁉️⁉️

im literally crying bc when u guys are standing facing each other heeseung is just looking straight over ur head LIKE UR NOT EVEN IN HIS LINE OF SIGHT

and THIS is why he always has his arm around ur shoulder or he makes sure ur holding onto his arm or smthn

HE WANTS U TO BE WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES BC SOMETIMES HE CANT SEE U☹️☹️☹️

and when hes practicing he likes to bring u up to dance with him

like he holds ur hands and u just try to 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻 with justin bieber playing in the background

“i cant dance heeseung u know this” u stare up at him

“i know just vibe to the music~”

he finds it hilarious so hes giggling the whole time u two do a little jiggy

AND THEN HE GETS ALL SOFT AND TURNS U AROUND TO BACKHUG U AND FACE THE MIRRORS and he watches u guys sway back and forth slowly to the music

he loves the height difference and hes always looking at it in mirrors

JAY:

*takes a deep breath* ... JAYYYYYY‼️‼️

he probably mentioned how short u are a couple times when you first met but i dont think he would be the type to constantly point out ur height and tease u or smthn

BUT!!!!! he loves it

alot of clothes you like are often too big for you and hes like

I Am Here To Rescue You From Distress, My Love

Ur so thankful for him!!!

he loves finding clothes for you

shirts arent a big problem its mostly the pants

AND HE LIKES BUYING U PLATFORM SHOES

he says “u look so good”

Jay ur superman 🔥

idk he just thinks ur so cute

he likes to stare at u like 🥰🥰☺️☺️

❤️_❤️

Jay has such big heart eyes for u AAAAAA

when u two are in the kitchen u arent able to reach the high cupboards

SO HE BOUGHT U A HELLO KITTY STOOL

one time he stood on it and was like “y/n look”

you literally almost broke your neck trying to see him because HE WAS SO HIGH IN THE AIR

so high u were like “u got enough oxygen up there⁉️⁉️”

and then he said “u look like an ant” and he started dying at his own joke

But he never pulled that stool stunt again bc u attacked him viciously🤗🤗🤗

JAKE:

Wait im crying already

everytime i write about jake i have to take a break

hes literally too much for my heart

Okay

HE GIGGLE.....

he GIGGLE!!!!!!!

HE GIGGLES AT EVERYTHING U DO

Hes so obsessed with u its not even funny

he probably loves u more than u love him AND HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE BC HES JAKE SIM

His favorite thing ever is when sit in between his legs and ur back against his chest yknow

when u guys watch movies he feeds u popcorn like that

IM GONNA SAY THIS FOR ALOT OF THEM BUT

Head Pats!!!!!

He pats ur head alot or ruffles ur hair alot

and hes just so gentle with u

Ur like his little baby >_<

HIS BIG JACKETS WAIT

Jakes big fluffy bulky jackets

he wants u to wear them

and he

he zips them up all the way and puts the hoodie over ur head

and he just dies of laughter

Ur standing there like 🧍🏻‍♂️

“its getting hot in here jake”

you tried to flick the hood off but the chunky sleeve mixed with ur short arm was not a good combination so you couldnt even raise your arm

That made jake lose it and he just fell to the floor in tears😭

but seeing him so happy made u 🥰☺️ kinda so its okay

SUNGHOON:

Hello hand holder

i say this whenever write for hoon

but this guy🤝🤝🤝

Get those hands ready yall

mmm okay

he probably calls u shorty whenever he teases u

Rude ass 🙄

ur like “😐” and hes like

“im sorry” *attacks u in a very messy and unmannered hug to the point where u fall back onto the couch and almost break ur leg*

i bet he holds stuff up in the air so u have to jump up and attempt to get it😭 so evil

but he doesnt like seeing u suffer for too long so he gives it to u after like 5 seconds 😁

he teases u alot but when ur out in public hes like Bodyguard Hoon

Hes not letting anything happen to u!!!!

once again HES HOLDING UR HAND AT ALL TIMES

one thing he says he doesnt like but we all know hes lying is when u like to jump on his back and force him to give u a piggyback ride

he just accepts it

one time u fell asleep on his back and he was like

“uh y/n”

silence

yeah he eventually plopped u on the couch which woke u up

SUNOO:

Sunoo thinks ur so adorable 💧_💧

like u two could just be sitting next to eachother watching something

and u have ur legs pulled up to ur chest and ur arms wrapped around them with ur chin on ur knees

you hear him giggling to himself

u look over like ......🤨 “what”

“nothing y/n *giggles again* ur just so cute”

ur like Staaaaawwp and u push his shoulder

and then he pushes u back

AND THEN U START FIGHTING

Play fighting ****

u guys laugh so much 😭😭

sunoo likes to talk about you alot

to everyone

literally everyone

to the boys: “omg y/n fell trying to reach the garlic LMAO”

to his mom: “y/n went up to this guy thinking it was me and pushed him it was so funny”

to his instagram: “how did y/n fit through my neighbors doggy door and why”

PLEASE when u two have arguments for fun

u go jump on the couch so u can be taller than him

and u just stare at eachother before bursting out into laughter

he loves to show u off aaaa “heres y/n” ☺️☺️☺️☺️

JUNGWON:

EXPECT TEASING AT LEAST ONCE A DAY

Please i think id cry if i was friends with jungwon (AND NI-KI)

he play too much 😫 he actually has no chill

“can u reach this y/n? or should i carry you *evil laugh*”

but besides from the teasing he adores u so much

and theres some things you arent able to do

But hes so happy to do it for you!!! he loves feeling like hes doing smthn for u

He always has this proud dad look on his face whenever u literally do ANYTHING

u could literally pick a twig off the ground and jungwon would go 😊 thats my y/n

he likes to massage ur legs when ur just chilling on ur bed or smthn

hes got one hand massaging ur legs and his other hand massaging his own legs

“i’ll make us grow taller y/n!”

“what??? you don’t need to be taller jungwon, i do!!” u snatch the hand hes using to massage his own leg and plant it right back on ur own legs

he starts laughing really hard and u think ur the president of comedy now 🔥🔥

he likes feeling tall when hes with u

but he also likes being babied 🙁🙁

Plz give him head kisses and cheek pinches

NI-KI:

This kid is literally a titan

and hes crazy

picks u up BRIDAL STYLE and starts running around the room like an animal

like WHAT ???????

he says its because you’re the only THING around and he needs the exercise

and this kid is a teaser too😫😫

“y/n can you hand me the cereal up there? oh wait you cant”

you turn around like What the hell did u just say...

yeah he got a smacking that day

NO BUT SOMETIMES HE BE TAKING THE JOKES TOO FAR AND RIGHT AFTER HE SAYS IT HES LIKE

“im just kidding i didnt mean it”

Anyways

ni-ki is also very sweet

he offers piggyback rides and makes u little gifts

one time u got a cramp from being on ur tippy toes too long

he was laughing at first but then he saw ur eyes welling up with tears and he ran to u really fast 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

ALSO WHEN U HOLD HANDS you both always stare bc THE SIZE DIFFERENCE PLLLZZZSSMMMNXX

heres an analogy

ni-ki hands : whale :: y/n hands : seahorse

LITERALLY U CANT EVEN SEE UR HANDS ANYMORE

they just vanish into thin air and u guys think its peak comedy

“whered ur hand go y/n 💀”

#enhypenwriters #enhypen imagines #enhypen headcanons #heeseung imagines #enhypen #sunghoon imagines #jake imagines #jungwon imagines #sunoo imagines #ni ki imagines #enhypen reactions #jay imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen drabbles

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stellocchia · 3 years

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This is part 3 of the Comprehensive Analysis of c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship during the Exile Arc

Part 1 - Part 2

Here we go again! When I started this I did NOT think it would be this long or take this much time, that said the Exile Arc is very nice to rewatch. There are a lot of little moments I didn’t notice on first watch.

Anyway, as always from here on out it’ll all be about the characters and we will be discussing some heavy topics so do keep that in mind!

We are now onte the 4th proper Exile stream: Tommy Is Holding It Together in Exile with Dream

This one peculiarly enough does not start with Tommy drowning. Also I want to mention that this is the second time during exile where Tommy mentions that he thinks he is allucinating. The first time it was in regard to seeing a group of mobs, this time it was in regard to Tubbo being on-line. Also at the beginning of the stream he finds a present left from HBomb consisting of 1 fire resistance potion 1 strenght II potion, Wait and a photo of the Queen, Tubbo and Vikkstar.

“We need to do something and quick today. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but every single day at the start of my stream Dream logs on uh... and I’m starting... *sigh* he said that Technoblade was over there” (moment when he decides to go scout out Techno’s cabin)

“Okay, what if- just- just to investigate it because I know- I know that big man Dream wouldn’t be too happy if he knew so...” (the manipulation is turning out to be quite effective)

By the way, the reason Tommy states for wanting to see Techno at this point is literally just too feel again like there was someone near (he did say “to smell” someone near, which does tie in with him saying he could “almost smell” Dream when he was searching Techno’s cabin when only Ghostbur and Tommy were there, which I’m sure we could analize further, but I won’t), not to team with him. Once again, :t no point was it Tommy’s intention for them to team up.

“I’m very lonely out here heh, I’m very lonely back home” (casual use of “home” to referr to Logstedshire)

“I wanna go back, I wanna go back. I don’t like this no I don’t like this now we’ve been away for too long” (panicked speach patterns get worse the longer he is away)

“Friend??? No, horse” (Lmao)

“Dream wouldn’t want me going in here...” “Dream wouldn’t like it if I was here! Dream wouldn’t like it if I stole! He’d loose his shit, he’d loose his shit. Surely not...” *Dream joins the game* “oh Oh OH NO! I’m in deep fried shit!”

I want to point out that I personally think a bit of time has passed since last stream, mainly because of this progression. At this point it’s not only fear of physical pain prompting him to act a certain way, it’s also Dream’s conditioning: suddenly what Dream wants it’s extremely important and the same goes with what he would and wouldn’t approve of. And, if I remember correctly, this particular scene was quite the eye opener for a lot of the audience at the time.

“Okay we run back we run back we run back we run back *screams* okay which way’s back? which way’s back? which way’s back? He [Dream] can’t know he can’t know” (panicked speach patterns once again, getting worse)

“I knew I shouldn’t have gone there, that was stupid that was stupid that was stupid” (self-loathing)

“Now how do I get home?” “No no, chat, we should just get home!” “We should probably get home quick” “Is anyone at home? Maybe Wilbur came home” (Logsteshire has now the title of “home”, but it’s definitely not safe)

“No!” *creeper blows up* “*sigh* I deserve that” (self-loathing)

“You know let’s clean up our land. What we need to do before... before He arrives. Maybe we should make a little safe spot, nah, there isn’t enough time today. You know I reckon after last night He is gonna be okay with us, He is gonna be much more...” (hard time speaking or thinking about Dream)

Tommy proceeds to seat down with the compass listening to Far and looking towards L’Manburg for a while. Then Tubbo (hallucination, which is quite worrying) comes out of the portal with the compass in hand and they stare at each other for a bit, after that he keeps seeing Tubbo (always hallucination) throughout the stream.

“I actually just woke up Tommy and I came straight here, to visit you” “Why would you go stra- straight here?” “Because I wanted to see you~” “Why?” “Uh, because we’re friends” “Oh yeah... hi Dream!” “Hello”

Dream arrives and blows up Tommy’s armour and weapons (I actually did not remember about Dream taking the weapons every time as well, but it does make sense in Dream’s f*cked up way considering that his intent was leaving Tommy entirely defenceless so that he would be more dependent on him). This time though, Dream makes Tommy light up the tnt, with minimal resistance from Tommy at this point (he just says: “I don’t really want to”, but he can’t bring himself to resist more then that).

I do find quite interesting that every time they seem to have the blowing up and insecurities part of the conversation at first and then basically re-start all over. It happened last stream as well. Also, Dream keeps accentuating 2 points to Tommy: how everything back in L’Manburg is better without him there and how, while it is basically effortless to come visit Tommy, he is the only one making the effort (even going as far as going to visit first thing in the morning).

“I’ve had a little idea by the way, I want to know what you think” “Okay” “And also if I’m allowed” “Okay” “*sigh* Basically, I’ve been thinking, you know how we made our Big Path to get home?” “Yes, it’s been a little while” “Yeah yeah, I’m thinking: I throw a party!”

So, couple of things to talk about here: Tommy feels the need to constantly ask Dream for permission (because Dream just puts so many rules to this supposed “exile”), another indication of some time having passed since the last stream for them, considering that the last stream was literally the day before irl (I’m talking about the “it’s been a little while” part) and also this is when we are introduced to the idea of the party.

“I’m allowed? I’m allowed?” “Yeah, can I come?” “Of co- uh- yeah” “Okay, they’re allowed to come” (talking about the party)

“Well Dream, is it me or is it you that’s been left by themselves for about 13 days now?” (irl it’s been 4-5 days, though at least now we have a bit of a timeframe for them as well)

Ghostbur arrives with Phil (who gifts Tommy the Tommy Slippers, which are a pair of diamond boots, a stack of black wool, 8 iron blocks and a Friendship Emerald)

“Guys are you- are you real?” “Am I real?” “Because I keep fucking seeing... I keep seeing Tubbo” (Tommy finally mentioning the hallucination to others, also Ghostbur pretends to see him, though it was confirmed later on that he wasn’t there)

“Dream’s here by the way, Dream’s always here” (now that’s kinda ominous)

“Dream, Dream I swear to Christ I think I just kept seeing Tubbo” “I didn’t see him, I never saw him once. Phil didn’t see him either, it was only you and Wilbur. Pretty sure he wasn’t here~” “My eyes are not the most reliable, I see lots of things”

I’d say from here on out is when Tommy starts trusting Dream over his and Ghostbur’s perceptions of reality. After all, as I said at the start, this is not the first, nor the last time where he questions his own perception of reality and, as we talked about in the last analysis, it’s not the first time that Dream tries to assert himself as his main source of information (callback to him negating having ever destroyed any of Tommy’s belongings). Also Fundy came to visit giving Tommy an efficiency II fortune I diamond axe (may I point out now how Fundy is literally the one person, aside from Dream and Ghostbur, visiting the most and how he is the only one aside from Ghostbur always saying “hi” whenever Tommy logs on? Their friendship is so underrated).

“I’m going- I’m going crackers...” “Hi Tommy! I think- I think I saw Tubbo as well” “Dream was Tubbo here?” “I did not ever see Tubbo, but I don’t know, I haven’t seen him” (confirmation of what I said before)

“Dream, now that you showed up everyone started to visit me again!” “Well I think it’s just because the- well, to be fair, are they here with you right now? They’re just running around, like, I don’t think they are here visiting you, they’re just visiting Logstedshire” “Oh” (Dream enhancing Tommy’s feeling of loneliness)

“He [Tubbo] told me he missed you” “Really?” “Well-” “Yeah! I gave him a compass that pointed towards you at all times and he siad ‘I really miss him'“ “Really?” “Yeah” (...) “I thought I saw the compass in a chest, like he threw it in a chest in the Community House, but I’m not- maybe it was a different compass, I’m not sure”

Ghostbur was actually a great support during Tommy’s exile. From pointing out the holes in Dream’s rules, to trying and reassure and support Tommy when he is feeling down, often going directly against Dream’s narrative, even going as far as creating a physical connection between Tommy and Tubbo through the compasses. It’s no surprise then that Dream tried to get rid of him right after this stream. Tommy builds his first girlfrend, “hot girl”.

“Hey Tommy, don’t you worry, I’ll be at the beach party!” (Ghostbur said, like a liar...)

“Wilbur did you burn my hit novel?” “No!” “I heard you did” “No!” “Did you know that that was the only book in history that sold better then the Bible?” “No! No! No! Didn’t do it!” (Ghostbur said again, like a liar...)

“Wilbur we need a chest room” “No I don’t really need one, I just go to L’manburg” “Low blow ghost” (Ghost [derogatory])

“I’m sleep deprived” (we’re back into character after the 20 minutes of them bullying Brand)

“I have a gift for you Tommy” *gives Tommy iron helmet, chestplate and pants* “Armour? For me?” “Yeah” “Oh thank you, thank you!” “You’re welcome”

Remember this part because Dream will use this as a point against Tommy when destroying Logstedshire, just like Techno does later on. In case anyone was wondering: if you give something freely to someone as a gift you have literally no right to then hold it over their head at a later date. That’s just manipulative as shit.

This neds with Phil, Dream and Tommy making a cake for the beach party and deciding on the last few details, and:

“We’re getting better everyone. We’re getting- are we- we’re getting better. I guess- I guess we’re bonding... *sigh* I guess...”

I’ll leave this off by reminding everyone that Dream and Tommy called Dream blowing up Tommy’s armour and weapons “bonding”.

#dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #ghostbur #exile arc #tw abuse #tw manipulation #relationship analysis #long post #my post #I was thinking of doing 2 streams at a time every time #but including the beach party stream analysis in this post literally made my tumblr crash multiple times #so screw that!

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chronic-claire-universe · 3 years

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HI CLAIRE!!! I AM COMING BACK AGAIN TO JOIN THE MATCH UP 😩 I hope you don't mind!

CONGRATS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL CLAIRE!!! I hope Ran always come to your dreams every single night 😌💖 We should discussing our fantasy about him again soon 😌

And here is me! (I edited this so I can give you a complete description about me)

I'm 8w9 INTP sp/sx sun: Leo moon: gemini, my height is 153cm and I have a petite body. Mentally ill? Yes, I am bipolar and having anorexia (more like relapsing again after surgery). When I am at my manic episode, I almost kill my family at the car-crash because I got too irritated that I pulled my sister's hair while she was driving—luckily she's a good driver or I am gonna be in jail rn 😩 When I was a kid, I used to get into some fights with boys (I won ofc) but since my father died, I tried not to get into fight ( I don't want to deal with my mother's dramatic and victim-mentality ass ) and I (gladly) never fight again after that 😌 That's why I really good at sport ( as a female I always got the highest point—even when compared to the male, I still on the top 5 on sport ) I really good on art ngl that's the reason I am at uni rn because I got scholarship (I won several art competition)! Also, I did english debate competition back then, but we were this 🤏 close to get into semi-final but bruh we defeated by 0.20 point! 🥲 I can do all those things by self-taught!

When I feel sad or miserable, I punish myself by starving myself lmao. Or I will usually get quiet and cut people around me.

My social skills? Fine I think. I weirdly get along with a lot of people (everyone kinda knows me) but I never talk to them first. Even though I have a lot of friends, I only have one close friend ( tragic right:") )

My personality is rude—blunt in the rude way(?), I do whatever I want to because I seek freedom of expression, LOVE debating about certain issues, and surprisingly I'm quite a wise person. But, I have no jam. Right, I couldn't make any jokes since I usually use the wrong tone in my voice :( I prefer to keep my joke inside my imagination or write it down somewhere. I always try to dominate my man, but I want my man to dominate me too ( do you get what I mean here? 😭 ) I love to be alone too. I HATE loud voices, reptiles, and crowds. I'm not the type of person who easily shows my love to anyone. I think because I have a really high pride *sigh. I felt like my kin actually is Rindou Haitani. But when I took the quiz I got Kazutora, Getou, Mori, Eren, and Dio Brando (that's the funny one)

I'm working as a graphic designer. Which somehow makes me currently don't have any interest. But I love listening to music (pop-rock and r&b ) . I love watching wwe/mma and hate romance anime/movies.

I'd like JJK and Haikyuu match up, please🥺 NSFW and I want male!

—Sorry for long ask :(

Hey my sweet plum, I read your request thousand times, let me say that I got worried and a bit sad hearing what you had to face in your life. I hope your mental health, despite your bipolarism, it isn't too messed up, lot of genius such as Michelangelo suffered bipolar disorder and see what he was capable to create! Ran woke me up this weekend, he wanted company 😁

Anyway, here your escort for my birthday party:

Jujutsu Kaisen - Megumi Fushiguro

Babe it was him or Nanamin, I opted that Megumi could be better since he has more patience than Nanami for your bratty attitude.

Megumi has the sharp mind to get through your facade, to understand your struggles and cope without problems with your rythm.

When you're manic episodes appear, he knows how to support every idea you get, even the strangest one. The first times he was worried to see you this active and in the mood to do things but now he got used to it.

Talking about these episodes, he enjoys when you're in the mood to debate with him or others.

He often suggest to watch some educative documentaries or biopic movies especially the ones that involves human rights. You get in a fiery mood when you watch it and try to explain why the things that the characthers had to endure are atrocious and illegally and how we should fight to eradicate them from the society.

Going to the other facade of the your personality, the depressive episodes are quite difficult to handle, you stay a lot in bed, you don't want to do anything.

He always brings you a cup of tea and cuddles you for hour, sometimes he gives you a paper to let you draw.

He hates when he needs to get you up for work, he knows you struggle and sometimes even cry but in the end when you get a grip you feel a little bit better.

In these cases, he brings you out for a jog or just a walk with his divine dogs or the little bunnies ready to pet.

Overall Megumi has a lot of patience with you but he's repaid when he sees the portrait and the things you cook for him, the struggle worths the prize in the end!

Haikyuu - Daichi Sawamura

I decided you definitely need a calm but strict man in your life and Daichi is perfect for this!

In Haikyuu universe you definitely play in the female team and you met Daichi during a combined training! You're a middle blocker in your team and you can't get me think otherwise!

You are strong and Daichi is astonished to see this, but when Nekoma came for the second time in Miyagi and Kuroo got on you, to give you some advices for a better tecnique, that's where Daichi got really jealous! He saw you for first and he definitely doesn't want, that roosterhead to hit on you!

"Marv go out with me!" it wasn't a question, it was a statement "I guess asking isn't in your knowledge, but Daichi there are proper times when to ask me out. Not when I'm sweaty and in a middle of a training!" you say with sharp eyes, Kuroo laughed at your bluntness and went away, but Daichi reply "Yep, sorry I got carried away and I felt to say it know" you smirk and say "Jelous are we? Ne Daichi don't blush!".

Your relationship is pretty natural, your dates consist in training and homemade dinner

You're pretty active and energetic in Daichi's mind, that's why when you went in one of your depressive episodes he got really worried.

As Megumi he took a lot of care of you, but the difference is that he prefers that you recover from yourself, also, if you have a therapy it's really difficult for you to take it in these moments and he obliges you to eat something and help you bring down the pill.

Normally you would hate these moments, but Daichi knows really well how to handle them, comfort foods such as pizza, tacos, ice cream, sushi are there for you to help you improve your mood and somehow it helps.

When you get a bit better, you can't go out training but you definitely draw or play sports with the Wii at home, this is definitely quality time for him.

Overall it could sound strange but Daichi doesn't hate these episodes, because he can see that you can do chores or just have fun, and this is definitely a proof of strenght for him!

He definitely loves Marv the warrior girl!

I finished! Babe hope this wasn't too sad for you, but I figured out that seeing you needed fluff and comfort, thanks for opening up and join the event, if you want to help me with a little gift here this is my Ko-Fi!

#claire milestone #claire birthday event #haikyuu!!#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #haikyu x reader #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro x reader #daichi sawamura #daichi x reader

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reporterleroux · 3 years

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"I can't live this life anymore."

Characters: SBI x postvillain!reader (/p)

TW: Mentions of lack of drinking and eating

A/N: this is based of a prompt I found on Google cause I have no ideas lmao

Prompt: You were born to be a villain, but you find yourself leaning more and more towards the good as you get older.

!SOME LANGUAGE!

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Life started out simple for you as a kid. Being born into the richest family in town was a luxury for anyone, and you were just lucky enough to get it. You could get anything you wanted, not even having to ask twice. As you grew older, about the age of 4, your parents wanted to develop your use of villain-like skills to get you into their work and craft. That's how they got rich. They never worked hard for it. They wanted you to follow in their footsteps. And that you did. You started off by stealing back toys your parents would guard. It was a very fun "game" for you at that age, you didn't know any better. By age of 10 you were out stealing in the markets. Anything from produce to canvases, which you would then sell on for a tidy profit. This was the life for you. All you ever knew. Now making your own income, you never had to ask for anything, and your parents didn't care. They just wanted you to be successful. The next 5 years of your live included blowing stuff up, robbing and overthrowing the government, and more serious matters. But it started getting less entertaining. You never had friends, you grew up for 15 years with barley your parents for company. You didn't want this anymore. It was enough.

"I can't live this life anymore."

You kept up the act for another year, planning the night after your birthday on how to escape this place.

"It's finally time."

You said to yourself, looking at your watch. It was 11:30, everyone was asleep by now. You gave yourself half an hour to grab stuff you needed. This involved food, money, tools and just basic life necessities, before stuffing it all in your stachel, slipping on your shoes and grabbing a compass as you darted out of the door, and out of the town at the cover of night. You left absolutely no clue to anyone about your sudden disappearance. You had to climb over the walls, knowing you couldn't go out the main entrance to the town. Luckily, it wasnt overly tall, so you traversed it easily. You were finally free. You ran and ran and ran. There was no going back now.

You had been running for a few days before you even saw sight of a new wall, a new town. You sighed in relief, sure you rested when night came but it was all exhausting for you. You forced yourself to run the last stretch, planning to sneak in and keep a low away from anyone. You reached the walls, the entrance ones to be precise.

"Huh."

You said. There was no one guarding the entrance, strange considering where you came from. There was still a bit of villainy in you, and it was making you stroll in and steal some life essentials. And that's what you did. It was early morning, so you had a bit of time before you suspected the area woke up. Since there were no stalls open, you just decided to steal some berries from the community forest and rest nearby. You set your stuff down where you wanted to stay and had a small wander around the area. Soon there was the chatter of people to be heard, so you ran back to your spot, snacking on a few berries.

You kept up this act for a few more days, before you ran out of berries.

"Shit."

You cursed to yourself. You were starving, but it was midday and too risky to go out. You sat there, forgetting to do anything, including drink, and eventually you passed out due to the lack of water and food you consumed. Little did you know, about 5 minutes later, a figure from the town turned the corner and saw you. Panic kicked in, and he immediately ran over and checked your pulse, just incase you might've been dead. Luckily for the both of you, you weren't. He was still worried though, and instantly picked you and your stuff and ran as quickly as he could to get back to his house.

"Techno! Wilbur! Get the potions and some water!"

Before they could even question him, they were forced on with a stern now.

"Tommy! Get some food!"

He looked through your satchel beforehand, assuming you passed out from lack of hydration and food consumption, which you did. Wilbur came running back with some water, and Philza took it, carefully making you drink it.

It wasnt long until you woke up, almost choking in shock at the sight of the 4 leaning over you.

"Wh-what? Where am I?"

You began to panic. This is the complete opposite to what you planned out, so opposite as a matter of fact you were beyond panicked.

"Hey, hey kid calm down, your safe here, we won't hurt you. Can you sit up?"

You made a slight thinking face before you moved your arms to push yourself up and turned so your legs were over the edge, the others moving as you did so.

"Here, eat this."

One of the 4 boys said, passing you a plate. You took it an began eating it, it was actually pretty good.

"I found you passed out by a tree, I couldn't just leave you there."

You finally managed to make stuff out, before you there were 4 people, a blond boy, a brunette boy, a piglin hybrid with pink hair, and a bird hybrid, with black wings behind his back.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry bout that, my own fault really."

They all looked at you confused.

"What do you mean?"

The brunette questioned. You sighed, before deciding to tell them what happened.

"I ran away from my old town. I was forced into some form of villainy growing up, and it was enjoyable at first."

You paused for a moment, catching your breath before continuing again.

"I was enjoying it less at 10, but only a tad. It was only when I turned 15 I decided I had enough, but kept up the act until I turned 16 a few days ago. The night after my birthday I began planning. It didn't take long. All I needed was food, water and my savings from selling off the stuff I stole. I even took a chunk out of my parents money just to piss them off. We were the richest family in town anyways so I didn't really care. I climbed over the walls and ran for days before even catching a sight of your towns walls. I snuck in and I guess it's just the events we just experienced after that."

You felt slightly embarrassed ranting to these people you just met, they probably didn't care, just didn't want you to die in their walls. But they sat and listened. There was silence in the room until the piglin hybrid spoke up, voice monotone.

"Damn. Did you overthrow the government?"

Which got a slap from Phil and a chuckle from the rest of you.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Yes I did."

They all looked shocked at your response.

"I like this kid, Phil. Can we keep them?"

You turned to who you assumed was Phil, before he said

"Only if... Shit, what's your name?"

You forgot the fact you didn't know any of their names and they didn't know yours.

"My name's Y/N, what about the rest of you?"

The blond spoke up first, quite loud but you didn't mind.

"I'm Tommy, and I'm definitely the better one."

You laughed, while the brunette slapped him across the head.

"Alright dumbass, shut up. I'm Wilbur."

You smiled at the 2 of them before the monotone voice from before caught your attention, making you turn your head.

"I'm Technoblade, just call me Techno."

You turned to the final person in the room.

"And I'm guessing you're Phil?"

He nodded as a response.

"So Y/N, would you like to stay with us?"

You looked at the welcoming faces in the room, settling on a very definite decision.

"Yes Phil, I would like to stay here."

It was definitely going to be a better life for you.

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A/N: ok I actually proof read this time LMAO also my dad asked me midway through this "what you writing?" and I low-key panicked

#dream smp #philza #tommyinnit #technoblade #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #philza x reader #tommy innit x reader #technoblade x reader #sleepy bois family #sleepy bois x reader

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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the fascinating narrative or case study or what have you i’ve got going on (it’s neither lol, it’s that i’m litchreally just out here, [Life, Existing] style) like me nowadays around an adult liable to have angry outbursts abt anything at any time, wherein i already have Experience from birth to almost twenty-two w/a parent who’d do that....like ah once again you have to at best mitigate situations involving this grown person’s emotions, but this time with handy differences of like, sure when i was born they were already older than i was now but i’m also a grown person, this person doesn’t tend to focus their outbursts directly at any potentially involved people ever (however, it is often just about concepts / experiences not involving any specific people anyways) & as such nobody is Demanded to directly interact w/their whole situation in turn, & that also of course i don’t have a personal relationship with this person, they are not my parent.......the like Data Points for my specific situation like. doesn’t really feel that different re: “well, if i’m interacting w/the situation at all, it may as well be this force of nature that you can’t expect to change b/c it’s another person’s unchanging response to their internal experiences which is smthing you obviously can’t control” but wherein it’s like well at least when you’re older & dealing w/some shit you have more tools at your disposal for it than when you’re like, 5, or any younger age than you are now. and it is obviously still a distressing experience to be Around the random regular outbursts, but not Having to directly interact w/any or all of them is like, well, when i wake up to that in a vulnerable marinade of anxiety, it’s been Practice for in that state reminding myself like okay you’re shit at processing things rn b/c you Just woke up, but process that you’ll be better at it when you’re more awake / this will be somewhat less hellish / these are your Vulnerable [aaaaa] Feeling times so it’s amplified but this won’t be the default always.....[aaaaa] when fully awake / firing on all cylinders is still shitty & generally distressing, but Less So, and Knowing this & like patting myself on the back while i’m in the shittier, more distressing [half awake & suffering through this] zone doesn’t improve things all the way to that superior state, but it sure doesn’t hurt.......getting in practice sometimes diving into greater Proximity with the shitstorm to extricate cats from the situation for example, and/or if it’s really escalating & seems to be born of some practical issue i can go in as like The Adult lmfao just as matter of factly as possible be like okay so what’s the issue, see if i can help (& handily often Initiating An Exchange / getting responses seems to make this person dial it back, re: whatever’s going on where they don’t tend to yell directly At people (the direct approach for people is usually also a shit ton of Passive aggression, not helpful, but not yelling)) like i’m not gonna be the actual parent here lol nor try to manage any & all these explosions or walk them through the Emotional matter, b/c that’d be a therapist thing & i’m not that, & in turn this isn’t even jokingly like oh free exposure therapy for me lol it’s basically Never what that is, it’s fundamentally different to be a spontaneous uncontrolled situation w/no therapist involved....but i Am wringing what i can from it lol like well, these are experiences, i’m getting in practice.............and also the emphasis on the Matter Of Factness like. trying to keep it practical & as emotionally detached as possible on my end for my own sake, even in terms of like warmth lmfao like that may Appease but again for my own sake i may as well also practice my “i need to be ‘meaner’” approach lmao when it comes to like, less people pleasing, less masking (which is also people pleasing / appeasing, but just more specific lol like accommodating nt people in anticipation & attempted avoidance of their hostility towards your being nd, vs accommodating anyone & their hostility towards your anything).......may wrangle a matter of Practical Help to mitigate the situation but that’s about it, in fact like of course knowing from all the prior experience that at best your actual emotions are irrelevant & your assumed / made up emotions are fuel for the fire or what have you & thus trying to manage some detachment is a strategy, but only confirmation here like “oh well technically i haven’t Tried communicating How I Feel, Btw” lmfao but. confirmed anyways eventually when i was Not trying to communicate anything or make an emotional appeal, simply Visibly Upset (stress crying time) while engaging in a [practical mitigation efforts] manner was met with Sympathy in the moment, only for Everything Overall to stay the same and, in the aftermath for a bit, more relevant elements of things to actually markedly worsen specifically Because of the Awareness that i was upset by xyz, despite the theoretical sympathy.........so yeah the like intermediate difficulty survival horror game continual exposure sucks obviously lmfao but while i’m here. observations & notes

#glad i don't have a personal connection at play here lol does simplify things even if you can hypothetically leverage one #by which i mean like. idk if that connection is at all a motivation then someone involved can theoretically create boundaries but like #then you'd need to have enough control of your situation in the first place to be able to reliably singlehandedly maintain those boundaries #and that still requires enough of a degree of flexibility from the other parties which may or may not be present / willingly provided....#we are all individual people in individual situations out here but sure can be some overlap / similarities in experiences #posted while i'm monitoring the situation lol like when will there be little enough activity from the relevant party for me to exit the room

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