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florrickandassociates · 3 years

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TGF Thoughts: 5x03-- And the court had a clerk...

Hello again! It’s nice to have this show back. This episode was a bit less of a standout than the previous two, but I’m still happy with the overall direction for this season. More under the cut (or here, because tumblr sucks).

When Robert King tweeted the episode title, I asked him if all the titles this season were adding up to one long sentence/story, hoping he’d confirm it and give a little more information. He did! He said it’s “in the Farmer in the Dell mode” and while I think I get what he’s saying, I’m very curious to see how it plays out. Haven’t been able to track down 5x04′s title yet, but the promo is out. (As of this morning! It’s interesting they’re not putting them after the episode this year; I kind of like it.)

Kurt’s job is up in the air given the new administration. I think this scene exists mostly just to remind us where Kurt works and the stakes.

What month is this supposed to be in? The transition seems recent but no one is wearing masks.

Kurt spots a poster asking for help ID’ing people at the Capitol on January 6th. He thinks he recognizes someone...

And now we’re in case of the week land. This case is about a small business owner whose business went under after someone created fake news articles accusing him of pedophilia.

I think the whole point of this (kind of long) scene is to show that this case is a pretty small deal. Low stakes, inexperienced opposing lawyer. (Not even sure why Liz would be arguing this in court, but whatever.)

Tbh I thought this was going to wind up in 9 ¾ court.

Now that we have junior level characters, we get scenes showing that there are, in fact, people at RBL who are mid-level. Liz asks an associate to work on something, he asks another associate to work on it, she delegates to other associates, and they delegate to Marissa and Carmen. This work seems terrible.

It’s so funny to me how this is probably more realistic than most of the lawyering on the show and yet it only shows up selectively. We only see the hierarchy here to make it clear that Marissa and Carmen are at the bottom.

David Lee interrupts and asks for Carmen. He’s very rude to her. Interestingly, she’s hesitant to leave her grunt work and follow David, even though she must know he outranks the associate who gave her the grunt work.

“Why am I supposed to know you?” David asks her as they walk through the halls. “I don’t know if you are,” Carmen responds. “Why does Benjamin Dafoe know you?” he asks. She doesn’t know who he is.

“Who are you?” Dafoe asks when Carmen enters. She states her name, again. “Why are you important?” he asks. “I don’t think that I am,” Carmen responds.

Then Dafoe says his top client, and it’s a name that the characters all know. I’m glad this scene is free of any “he’s the white OJ” expository lines (that’s from Sweeney’s introduction) -- it’s clear from the reactions and the discussion of police and rape that the top client is a bad guy, probably a rapist. The rapist wants Carmen to represent him.

Putting 2 and 2 together, Carmen asks if the rapist knows Rivi. He’s not, but he’s at the same prison. As soon as Carmen says she’s representing Rivi, David Lee switches gears, understanding the situation and trying to sign the new business. He’s so shameless!

Marissa sorts ALL the papers. There are a LOT of papers. I’m swamped. Look at all this paper.

She catches the associate who assigned her the task leaving for the night just as she finishes up, and cheerfully notes she’s finished the task. Then the associate mentions this was only half of the bills. Marissa does not like that. Since her goal in wanting to be a lawyer is mostly just to give her something exciting to do and earn respect... this hierarchy thing is not going so well.

Marissa decides that after her rough day, she’s going to stop by Wackner’s court. He’s in the middle of a case about Emily in Paris fanfiction and he’s very happy to see Marissa.

Wackner’s night court has a program—it notes the sponsor is Copy Co-op (I thought it was Copy Coop?) and the paper products were also provided by them. And “there will be regular intermissions at the discretion of Judge Wackner.” It’s very theatrical.

Wackner takes a recess and calls Marissa to his “chambers.” He asks for her thoughts on the case. “All they want is attention and to feel like they’ve won,” Marissa notes. Wackner’s on the same wave length and compares it to the Scarecrow’s diploma at the end of The Wizard of Oz. So, he makes copyright certificates and some minor modifications to each of the fanfic books. They say “I respect you and I love you” and that’s that.

Wackner catches Marissa before she leaves and asks her to be his law clerk—part time or full time, 10% of all the legal filings and unlimited use of copy machines. She is hesitant because she “doesn’t even know what this is.”

Wackner says his court is “the future.” Marissa turns him down; notes she wants to pass the bar. “You know why all these people are here? ‘Cause the courts and the lawyers and the appeals have made justice... unattainable. Out of reach. To anyone who doesn’t have a shitload of money to wait it out. That’s why Exxon beats out Mr. Nobody. Read Kafka’s Before the Law.”

I just read it, and you should too! It literally is a page, but tl;dr, there’s a man who wants to get to the law and instead he spends his whole life trying to win over the first of many gatekeepers on the path to the law. He never gets through the gate.

“Justice is only just if it’s available to everyone,” Wackner says. Marissa thinks about that.

As I said last week, it’s smart that Wackner makes so much sense. Hearing him say all this, knowing that it’s true... it makes it very easy to get on board with the thought experiment. Of course there would be huge repercussions to this kind of system, but it makes so much sense it’s compelling TV!

Kurt’s showering when Diane gets home, which gives her time to stumble across the WANTED poster and notice that Kurt has drawn facial hair onto one of the pictures. “Who is this?” she asks him. “No one,” he says. “Well, you drew in a beard and a moustache on him,” Diane notes. Kurt says he was doodling, but Diane calls him out as he is the “exact opposite of a doodler.” Kurt says he thought it was someone he knew, but he’s not sure. Diane pushes him to tell the feds. Kurt reiterates he’s not sure, but it’s someone he went shooting with. “Oh my God, then it’s him,” Diane jumps to (not incorrect) conclusions. Kurt says he didn’t talk that way; he’s a veteran. “Kurt! That’s the profile!” Diane argues. Kurt isn’t convinced and he doesn’t want to be responsible for naming names. He notes he’ll be threatened with indictment for not naming names and then only lawyers will end up benefitting. Diane is not convinced.

I think this is an interesting conflict for Kurt and Diane. I understand why Kurt is hesitant to speak out before he’s sure. And I understand and agree with Diane that it’s important to identify the attackers and prevent anything like that from happening again.

I don’t mean to blame Kurt, exactly, but I feel like all of what happens next could’ve played out differently if Kurt had been just a little clearer with Diane about why he was hesitant to ID the man. Like, the threat of indictment for not naming names sounds like some typical anti-government rambling. Saying you specifically are afraid that this will turn back on you and you need to weigh your options and come up with a plan first would put Diane in a very different mode, in which they’d work together to craft the best strategy. Because this man would’ve been ID’d by someone, sooner or later, and Kurt would’ve needed to be prepared.

Diane stares at the wanted poster at work and asks Jay to find his identity. He’s on the FBI TEN MOST WANTED? Ten!? Ok!

Diane shares the extra information she has—the gun range and that he’s a veteran—and Jay gets to work.

Turns out there’s no money in the case that Liz, a name partner, is working on and Marissa just spent all those hours sorting bills for. I could’ve told you there was no money in that case lol.

Jay IDs the guy very fast. He’s faster than the feds because they didn’t know where he shot. The range had his license on file, and Jay got ahold of it.

“Well, we don’t pay you enough,” Diane says. “Oh, I know that,” Jay laughs.

Diane says she’s going to think about calling the feds—it's definitely the same guy.

Marissa notes someone high profile (David Cord, who I presume is a thinly veiled stand-in for David Koch given the name, his role in the plot, and the fact that he is “David Cord of the Cord Brothers”) in the lobby giving a fake name and goes to tell Liz.

David Cord is performing magic tricks for the receptionists (they don’t recognize him) when Liz and Marissa show up. “I knew your father. I hated your father,” Cord says. “Yes, well, he hated you too,” Liz says. He says he gave a fake name to see what the reception would be like since he’s kinda infamous.

Liz introduces Marissa as one of the law clinic lawyers. Marissa knows what to say in this situation. Specifically, she knows that it is the exact right moment to name drop her father.

“Democrats as far as the eye can see,” Cord notes. At that, Liz asks Marissa to get Julius involved.

More good expository work! (No, editor feature of Word, I do NOT want that to say “Better expository work,” that would change my meaning, go away and please stop grading my recap??? I don’t know how I brought this up but it’s telling me my score is 72%, so a C, and it’s driving me crazy. Oh, now I’m a 71%. It had me at like, 50%, because I had written “Wackner” and “Wackner” is not a word. No shit.)

Anyway, back to the exposition. I like that we don’t get a line like, “Liz! David Cord, the Republican super donor, is here!” We just get to see Liz’s reaction, Cord’s hate of Liz’s father, and the line about democrats. Then it becomes clearer who Cord is.

Just noticed Liz is wearing an Apple Watch.

Liz stands for her meeting with Cord, likely to maintain power. Cord says January 6th changed everything to him and now he’s all about unity and loving America.

Cord has something to say about Liz’s case, the one that’s not making any money, and he seems to know quite a lot about it. That spooks Liz.

Then Cord offers her $12 million to continue the case for another six months (all of these months, seemingly, will play out in the couple of days the rest of this episode takes, but, whatever). He just wants them to go after the social media company that distributed the fake news... and Section 230.

Don’t know what that is? Now you do, because there is a Good Fight short! These work so much better when they’re actually needed (explaining concepts, etc.) than when they’re trying to force one into every episode (remember that Downton Abbey one? What... was that?)

I was talking to @mimeparadox about this short and he pointed out that this short has a VERY clear POV on an issue that actually doesn’t seem to be all that straightforward. If you’re like me and only had a vague sense of what Section 230 was prior to this episode, this short is telling you what to think of it—it isn’t just explaining what it is.

I do tend to agree with the show’s POV on most things, but this is an issue I’d like to read more on. I love how Section 230 was something I hadn’t really read up on prior to this episode and now that it’s been on TGF I realize it’s something that actually, yes, I would’ve been interested in knowing about earlier. Is this because things that are on TGF are interesting to me because they’re on TGF or is it because TGF generally only discusses things that would be interesting to me? Probs a little bit of both.

Diane asks Jay how to make an anonymous phone call and he hands her a burner phone. She calls the FBI with the rioter’s name. She doesn’t leave her name and then she dumps the phone.

Credits! Did you catch there’s a Jordan Boatman in the credits? She plays one of the associates who passes down the grunt work to Marissa, and she’s Michael Boatman’s daughter in real life! She’s also been in one other episode, in season 3.

I never get tired of these credits!

The RL partners (and some associates who are on the case? I think these are the same ones who delegated the work to Marissa?) debate whether or not they should take Cord’s money. Madeline notes that he’s funded a lot of Republican campaigns; Julius notes that both Republicans and Democrats agree that Section 230 is flawed and this is an opportunity for unity.

Diane notes that the right doesn’t want to stop conspiracy theories from spreading, so is this really that bipartisan? “It would help if the boomers would stop falling for those conspiracy theories and sharing it with their friends,” an associate (I believe this is Michael Boatman’s daughter again) notes. That quiets the room and the partners all glare at her. Yeah, that was a kind of stupid thing to say. First of all, it’s just not appropriate to say to the partners, and it’s also, like, missing the point? If it’s easy for conspiracy theories to spread among boomers, maybe just expecting each member of that generation to suddenly have a millennial’s understanding of the internet is the wrong strategy? Maybe there’s some structural issue here? That maybe, just maybe, this case is actually about?

The associate also points out that the internet is currently a place where people can speak out about sexual harassment-- “they repeal section 230, and there would be no #MeToo.”

One of the partners says he doesn’t believe that—if they regulate section 230, then newspapers can actually be competitive and there’s still free speech online.

“We’re not going back to reading newspapers, grandpa,” some associate says. What the actual fuck, dude? Who talks like that to their boss?! It’s so condescending. He’s also wrong! “Newspapers” are not just physical things... reporting by major publications still matters and will continue to matter. Like, is he suggesting that in the future all news will just be random people tweeting things they think are true with no fact checking or curation? Sure, journalism is struggling right now—but I don’t think that’s because there’s a lack of desire for well-reported news.

I am glad the partners call him out on saying “grandpa” and honestly I’m shocked he isn’t asked to leave the discussion after that rude remark. Unless this young looking dude is a partner too? But I don’t think he is.

Julius notes that if they’re going to pursue this case, they need money like Cord’s. At that, Liz starts to leave the meeting. “We haven’t decided if we’re taking this Cord money yet,” Madeline protests. “Of course we are,” Liz says and leaves.

Now that’s more like it! I’m not sure if this is necessarily the best way to handle this, but she’s a) correct, they were always going to take the money because it is $12 million and an issue of interest and b) using her authority. Should Liz be making decisions totally on her own? Maybe not. Does Liz making this decision and then leaving (with everyone accepting that she’s correct) cut through a lot of bullshit and establish Liz as the one in charge? Yup.

Diane says, “Ooh-kay” with a little bit of an eyeroll after Liz exits, but she’s still laying low. I think in a different season Diane might’ve tried to push back.

Is it me or does Baranski get a lot of material this episode we haven’t seen before? Lots of really good reaction shots/tones in this episode I don’t really think we’ve seen from Diane before. I’m impressed there’s still new stuff after 12 years.

At some point maybe I will actually write the essay I’ve been wanting to write for ages about how TGF is still so relevant despite being in a universe that should be showing its age by now. I wish I could find the first time that I called TGW a period piece set in the present day (I know it would’ve been during season five) because I think that’s the key to TGW/TGF’s enduring success. The shows always feel timely because they try to capture the present moment (which is, of course, always changing) and don’t get stuck in any one moment in time. Further, the fact that the writers are always so tuned in to events and skilled at quickly reacting to what happens in the world makes them VERY good in a pinch, which is (I think) why they’re able to make the most of unexpected situations (Josh leaving TGW, the pandemic).

Liz and Julius bring a suit against ChumHum to attack 230. Judge Friend is initially skeptical of their argument that 230 is unconstitutional; then she’s intrigued. I am too. This argument about the press is a very interesting one. I obviously have a lot of reading to do on 230, but my take after this episode is pretty much that social media platforms have to be held responsible in some way, but I don’t think it’s feasible or desirable for them to be responsible for every single one of billions of posts. I think there has to be some way to regulate social media giants that would allow everyday people to share things and speak out but would prevent the curated (even by an algorithm) spread of fake news and make social media giants accountable when there are very public bad actors using their platforms. What that regulation would be I have no idea. I just refuse to believe that our options are to give the social media sites full immunity or to regulate the internet so strongly that no one is able to speak freely because all the platforms are worried about lawsuits.

Over at the VA, people are being fired. When Kurt gets into his office, Madeline Starkey (wait, are there two characters named Madeline in this episode?) is waiting for him. She’s still very quirky and scary.

Starkey says the guy that Diane reported is now saying Kurt trained him on using assault rifles and buying ammunition in bulk. Kurt notes these were topics covered in a group setting, which Starkey knew—and what she’s really after is the names of the others in the group. (She may already know them, since she knows there were five of them.)

Kurt refuses to name names and just stares at her.

Case stuff happens! (I liked the last two episodes a lot but it’s much faster for me to just write, “case stuff happens” for some of the scenes.)

Hey, surprise Aaron Tveit! (Not really a surprise; he is in the credits. But still yay!)

I don’t really know why Liz and Julius are talking about newspapers specifically and not all types of fact-based journalism/press? I feel like their argument is most convincing when it’s about actual newspapers (especially local ones) but still would apply to cable news...

Marissa’s still hard at work sorting papers when the associate comes back in and informs her she can stop; they’ve changed strategies and everything she’s done is now irrelevant. She also says “I forgot to tell you” at the start of that thought, meaning that she neglected to tell Marissa this important information earlier and wasted her time. Marissa is not pleased and so she goes to Wackner’s court, where Wackner now has a deli ticket machine and is wearing super-sized novelty sunglasses. Why not!

He sees Marissa and calls a five-minute recess. In “chambers,” Marissa tells him she’d like to work for him part-time but keep her RL job.

Wackner needs her help processing more copyright certificates. He’s priced them competitively at $20 and found that a lot of writers want these certificates, even though they have no legal value. (Neither do actual copyrights, Wackner notes. And he notes that if anyone plagiarizes, they can sue in HIS court.)

“Marissa, I’m building something here. I want you to join me. I want your advice on cases. I want to bounce legal theories off you,” he says. “What are your legal theories?” she asks. “I don’t know. That’s why I need to bounce them,” he says.

Marissa gives him from noon to 2 and 5-7, which seems awfully ambitious for someone working at a law firm!

“That’s how revolutions are made. Back rooms of copy shops,” he says, accepting her offer.

Kurt is sulking in the dark when Diane arrives home. He lets her know about Starkey’s visit and she immediately goes into lawyer mode. Notably, this scene does not spend much time on how Starkey found out the rioter’s name. Curious if they’re saving that for later or if Diane and Kurt both know what Diane must have done or if Kurt think’s it’s a coincidence.

Kurt SET UP A TOUR OF THE CAPITOL for one of the veterans in his shooting group, and that tour was ON JANUARY 6TH! I really do wish he’d told Diane that upfront.

Maybe the long pause where Kurt refuses to tell Diane which congressperson arranged the tour even after she promises she won’t say is him letting on that he knows that Diane ID’d the guy? Or maybe it’s just Kurt.

I do not like the dead birds in Starkey’s office, mostly because I do not like thinking about dead birds.

Starkey compares Diane and Kurt to the Conways.

And now more case stuff happens.

Julius gets to question a witness for the first time in two years! He’s a little shaky at first but then he does a fantastic job! Yay Julius!

When Diane arrives at the office, reception is filled with around a hundred teddy bears. “What?” she asks. “Build-a-Bears. They were sent to Marissa,” the receptionist explains. “Okay... why?” Diane asks the logical next question. The receptionist does not know.

“This one’s a Marissa bear,” she says, showing Diane a bear wearing boots and a wig. It does not look much like Marissa and it says “Hug me.”

Diane looks confused and furious at the same time. Her look here is, like, a milder version of the death stare she gives Alicia in Outside the Bubble when she learns about Alicia and Cary’s plan to leave.

“Why don’t we, meaning you, take all these stuffed animals and put them in the conference room,” Diane instructs the receptionist. She is NOT! HAPPY! The receptionist seemed to be having fun with the bears, but clearly the right answer was to have done something with them and... not to have put them over every surface in reception. Eeek.

Carmen’s new client, the rapist, arrives at the firm before anyone can hide the bears. “This may not be the firm for you,” his advisor/lawyer (I’m not totally sure what this dude’s job is) warns.

Madeline notices the rapist and glares at the receptionist. “I know. I’m putting them in the conference room,” the receptionist says, thinking Madeline is upset about the bears. She is not upset about the bears.

Diane finds Marissa, who’s working with Carmen again. She asks Carmen to give them a moment.

“Why are there hundreds of teddy bears in our reception?” Diane asks. Marissa is confused. Diane shows her the Marissa bear. Marissa looks horrified and amused. “That doesn’t even look like me,” Marissa notes, completely missing how pissed off Diane is. I don’t think we have seen Diane be this direct/no-nonsense in ages.

“That would seem to be beside the point. What is going on, Marissa?” Diane demands. Marissa suspects this is based on some advice she offered to a client who was buying a Build-a-Bear franchise and thinks this is a thank you gift. “What client? You’re not a lawyer! Why do you have clients?” Diane says exasperatedly.

Marissa gives her a look, and Diane immediately understands that she’s been back to Wackner’s court. “Oh my God, this is about that Copy Coop court?”

“Marissa, no. By participating in that simulacrum of a courtroom, you exposed this firm to malpractice, sanctions, and God knows what,” Diane says. If that were really true, she wouldn’t have sat there and argued. I mean, I don’t know the legality of this all, but I feel like it’s a bigger optics issue than legal issue if Diane and other lawyers are willing to even consider participating?

“If you wish to continue your employment at this firm, you will never do anything like that again. Do you understand?” Diane says. She will not hear any arguments.

I love that Marissa is the thing that keeps Wackner coming back. It’s a good plot for her, but structurally, it also allows the show to keep Wackner around without many contrivances. Wackner sees that Marissa would understand what he’s up to, she sees that he shares some of her frustrations with the law, and they both want to work together again. It’s not like suddenly everyone’s talking about Wackner’s court and all the cases somehow end up there or anything.

The receptionist, who is having a truly terrible day, comes into announce that Kurt and Starkey have arrived. “Don’t put them in the conference room!” Diane commands, knowing that the teddy bears will be there. It’s too late, though, because the receptionist (who previously seemed to be fine at her job if bad at recognizing public figures and understanding that partners might not find teddy bears amusing) has already put them in the conference room. I feel bad for her, and don’t think the other things were her fault, but I feel like she could’ve seen this one coming...

I find the teddy bears HILARIOUS, mostly because the reactions to them are so funny. It’s kind of the same gag as the balloons for Lucca in season two, but I don’t really care, because I’m getting to see Diane Lockhart treat hundreds of Build-a-Bears like they are a real work problem.

Starkey jokes about the bears; Kurt is silent.

The rioter from the poster is now accusing Kurt of coming up with the STRATEGY for January 6th, which Kurt and Diane both dismiss as bullshit.

I could do without Starkey’s musical cues.

I can’t tell if Kurt is in trouble here or if she’s just pressing him to name names. Why wouldn’t she just have rioter guy name names if he’s so eager to blame Kurt? I guess maybe if the others were actually there, he might be less likely to name the names of his actual co-conspirators? Or, Starkey might already know the names (surely the shooting range has logs) and be using this to raise the stakes.

No one (except maybe the partner named Daniel) is happy about the rapist in reception. “Since when are we representing people like Wolfe-Coleman?” Julius asks. Didn’t these people help both Sweeney (though I think Sweeney was in some weird police brutality case and they didn’t actually want to represent him) and Bishop? And Rivi? But they draw the line here? Sure.

Ah, there we go, an expository line-- “he’s the next Jeffrey Epstein”. Almost made it the whole episode without one of these. I’ll forgive it since it’s so late in the episode lol.

“Did you approve this, Liz?!” Madeline demands. Liz did not. Daniel wonders if that means Diane approved it. Liz doesn’t think so and calls Diane (who happens to be walking past) in.

“I know, the teddy bears. I’m working on it,” Diane says when she opens the door. I think the teddy bears are a bigger issue to Diane than to anyone else.

Diane didn’t approve representing Mr. Rapey either. She’s uncomfortable that a meeting was happening without her; Madeline notes that she is standing there specifically because they wanted to involve her.

David Lee pops up out of nowhere with the answer: one of the new associates (not Marissa, “the real one”) pulled in Mr. Rapey. Are there only two associates now even though orientation was for a big group?

Firth is gone, btw. David Lee is the new Mr. Firth. I have no idea why David would want to be STR Laurie’s guy for managing RL but... sure, whatever? David Lee is an effective antagonist, especially in small doses, and this allows the writers to keep him around and continue the STR Laurie plot without a key guest star. If STR Laurie is still a thing, and it seems like it is going to be a thing for a while, then having David Lee take on this role makes sense for plot. Otherwise they’re going to have to shoehorn him in to every plot somehow. At least now he has a reason to be around.

Liz and Diane take a walk to chat. Diane is worried about having David as their boss. Liz says she has a worse worry—David Lee knew exactly when to come downstairs with information, suggesting he know what they were talking about. “Would he do something like that?” Liz asks when Diane wonders if there’s a bug. “Oh, yeah,” Diane replies. Hah, yeah. He absolutely would.

They decide to have Jay search for bugs and Liz is frustrated with how much time they have to spend on things other than lawyering. Yup.

“What is going on with all the teddy bears in the conference room?” Liz asks as they head back to the office. “It’s a long story,” Diane sighs. I also love that the teddy bears link the various pieces of the episode together—it feels like all of these threads are happening simultaneously because of that constant.

I don’t get RL’s approach to clients. Bishop and Rivi are ok, Wolfe-Colman is not (except that actually he is fine). Cord is okay too. Do they draw the line anywhere? I know Liz was right when she said that OF COURSE they were taking the money, but is there really nothing that differentiates that situation from this one? I feel like there should be.

Marissa goes back to see Wackner. Since someone refuses to say “I respect and I love you,” Wackner reverses his ruling. This is part of the “Bad Loser Law of last Wednesday,” so the rules of Wackner’s court are clearly a work in progress.

Marissa explains she can’t be the law clerk because of Diane. She tries to connect him with a real lawyer, still not understanding exactly what Wackner’s after. “You know just enough not to crush what I’m doing here,” Wackner explains. “A real lawyer will look for reasons why not. I need someone to look for reasons why.”

Case stuff happens. I cannot read Cord’s handwriting. Liz and Julius lose the case because Judge Friend says what’s happening isn’t fair, but it is constitutional. (So here we have, at least in the show’s POV, a good and attentive judge who can’t make decisions that make sense because she’s bound by a document written before anyone had ever dreamed of the internet.)

Cord is waiting for Liz in her office. He’s prepared to bankroll an appeal. Did they blow thorough that $12 million already? Impressive; it’s been like a day.

Cord says they are definitely the firm he wants. Interesting.

Now Liz wants a meeting with Carmen, so it’s Marissa who leaves the room. This scene seems like it was meant to be a different day?

Liz wants to talk about Mr. Rapey. Carmen is, yet again, chill about the case. “Carmen, is there anyone that you would not represent?” Liz asks. Funny, Liz, I could ask you the same. Being hesitant about it is not changing the fact that you’re representing bad people. Carmen’s just cutting the bullshit.

“I don’t understand. Is there someone you don’t want me to represent?” I love how Carmen’s incredibly polite responses always seem very pointed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Carmen’s reply, and yet it puts Liz in a place where she can’t dance around what she’s trying to say.

“I’m just trying to get a sense of who you are,” Liz explains.

Then Liz decides she’s going to help on the Craig Wolfe-Colman (Mr. Rapey) case, and they will keep talking about her career path. Liz, this does not seem like the right solution! You're worried about your associate representing bad people so you’re like, I know, what if I ALSO represented bad people? If your goal is to convince Carmen not to take clients like this, you’re kinda shooting yourself in the foot!

“Are you worried about me?” Carmen says, again turning things on Liz. “I don’t know what I am about you,” Liz replies. Me either. Well, I know I'm intrigued, but beyond that, no clue!

All the bears have ended up in Diane’s office, where Wackner is waiting. He jokes about how his court is always seen as informal, yet this real fancy law office is covered in Build-a-Bears. Then he says he wants to hire RL—he's willing to pay. He wants consultation from Marissa (“consultation on legal issues”) and he’s prepared to spend a lot. And, if there’s one thing we know, it’s that they’re always going to take the money. So, they do.

I love that Wackner’s goal is to “perfect my little clubhouse of the law.” It’s a fun plot, and it also allows for the rules in his court to change (I’m sure we’re going to be treated to/subjected to a lot of whimsical gags around changing and ridiculous rules). It's also a good way to work through the thought experiment over the course of the season. It’s not like Wackner already has a system set up and it’s perfect—I'm sure we’re going to see his system run into issues and explore that more, too.

Wackner monologues a bit here about why he’s running fake court, and he lets us know he’s going to monologue. Basically he thinks people no longer want to help people and are only motivated by their own self interest. He notes that no one talks about the Peace Corps anymore and asks the last time Diane heard anyone say those words. I’m sure I’ve heard a reference more recently but my mind went RIGHT to season one Cary Agos saying “Peace Corps. Belize,” as some kind of smarmy pickup line. This is likely not where my mind was supposed to go.

Wackner wants “A new Peace Corps. For America.” Diane’s sympathetic to that and agrees to take him on as a client.

Wackner asks if he can take a bear. Diane instructs him to take two.

Aaaand Wackner and Cord end up on the elevator together. Wackner hands Cord a bear, the elevator doors close, and the episode ends. Since last episode ended with Marissa and Carmen in the elevator together, I’m hoping this will be how every episode this season ends. I think using the Kings’ favorite liminal space to transition between episodes is kind of fun, and it fits with the ellipses at the end of every episode title.

Speaking of... did you see today’s elevator-themed episode of Evil? It was written by the Kings. Those two have been obsessed with elevators for at least a decade.

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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choerrypuffs · 2 years

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My god im so sorry for the long ask im about to send BUT!! My phone wont let me reblog the last demigod series fic and i for sure want to give a feedback of sorts but TLDR: I LOVED IT SO MUCHHHH!!!

Okay so! First of all We love some good enemies to lovers™ and also adored the references used of the other series likeeeee its so funny 😩 and the way Cat and Moon were portrayedk I WAS LAUGHING SO MUCH!! Like im really reading this giggling ro myself in my bedroom like a highschool girl.

Also omg can i Just say that the confession at the end was so beautiful, like it felt like a Mr.Darcy confession of sorts in a "i love you most ardently" of sorts that idiot i want to hug him 😭😭💖 .

ALSO!!! I think I've said ir before but you write in a way that both someone who's read the books and someone who hasn't can understand rhe vibes and why is it important to the storyline and like when MrD called jeno Jason i was like 👀👀

AND JAEHYUN PULLING A LUKE MADE ME SO 😳😳😩😤🤣🤣 CUZ LIKE I WASN'T EXPECTING IT HE WAS A GOOD BROTHER OR SO I THOUGHT??? It was a very girlboss thing for you to do.

I think this is all, I'm very sorry if nothing mase sense I've been running on 5 hours of sleep and it's past midnight, but i genuinely enjoyed it so thank you so much for creating 💖 have a nice dayyy sending you lots of love

no please don't apologize!! thank you so much for taking the time to leave feedback!! 🥺💖 i'm so happy you liked the fic <3333

YESSSS ENEMIES TO LOVERS IS THE SUPERIOR TROPE IT WILL NEVER GET OLD FOR ME EVERYONE ELSE CAN PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS 🤧😩 i'm glad you enjoyed the easter eggs, my love!! i was in over my head trying to make sure everything lined up and also trying to remember all the references i made in the other fics 💀 don't look too close bc i most definitely forgot stuff FDJLSL

omfg you have no idea how honored i am that you would compare my fic to the MASTERPIECE that is pride and prejudice 😩 i've watched the 2005 film a billion times and i even referenced the hand flex scene in jaemin's demigods fic i am obsessed with p&p so much !! thank you for one of the greatest compliments i've ever received 🧎‍♀️

AHHH OMG I'M SO HAPPY YOU NOTICED MY JASON REFERENCE 🤩🤩🤩 yes i always try my best to make sure people that aren't familiar with pjo are able to read my fics as well bc people have told me they read them even if they haven't read the books which is incredibly kind of them to do so <3333

LMFAOOOOOO gaslight gatekeep girlboss after all ♥ yes jaehyun was meant to be the traitor pretty early on in the process though i did consider other members as well 👀

omg please get some sleep, my love!! thank you again for leaving such kind feedback and i hope you have a great day!! 💗💗💗

#ask #answered #suhnnyskiess

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stray-tori · 3 years

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TPN S02E08 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

Reaction Vid: Google Drive

I’m here, finally! Let me just say, I’m glad to see some more positivity around ahh- Not that anyone isn’t allowed to feel negatively about it, I do have my problems too of course! But it’s just nice when things are epic and liked by people :)

I don’t think I can really separate it into topics this time so I’ll just kind of... go through it by chronological order this time! With “.” paragraphs separating thoughts :)

Norman figuring out that there’s at least one other person taking tests because he’s left-handed and the code scan thing is placed on the right when he put it down left is such a nice, unspoken execution!

also. Zaziee :(

also, what do we think is happening in this room? are those just... dead subjects that they feed to demons or...? experimenting with how certain manipulated humans will affect demons eating them?

(also they just flipped Norman’s walk here, so his curl is on the wrong side. not blaming them or anything, I just noticed. I hope the staff is doing okay :<)

also, idk if my brain is melting but when Norman was like "I just need a detonator" and then he focuses on that king chess piece before the explosion, is the implication that the king piece was the detonator? :D

I do like the few subtle hints we do get just from the scenes (like the left hand/right hand thing and the cube communication) but I feel like I'm missing some connecting pieces here, even with knowing Smee was there and supporting him. It’s weird because I feel like the left-hand thing was really nicely done and digestible and the fork thing is presumably checking out how many cameras there are (even if still a little obvious) - but the explosion? Maybe I’m just stupid haha- it had to be Smee helping, right? I just would have liked more hints (but maybe I’m too small brain rn).

I'm a little confused because Peter said "the era of James as the gatekeeper has ended" (paraphrased), so he’s the gatekeeper right? And Norman was so concerned about the gatekeeper last episode, to the point that I felt like it was a point largely against the "using the gate in GF" plan (aside from uncertainty about the gates and the human world, of course) - but it's literally just a human then? I thought it was gonna be some epic demon or magic concept or something, but it's just that dude pff- whats the dude gonna do against the murder squad? :D Ig he has the farm/demon forces behind him but those would exist either way (and Norman must have considered that), so why is he in particular such a big deal/threat? Is he that ultra big brain? Not big brain enough to have prevented Norman’s escape anyway.

Or maybe he’s just 6 moves ahead and waiting for Norman to lead him back to the hideout that was referenced a few episodes ago where Norman brings all the stolen kids -- but I feel like that’s such a... roundabout way of capturing the GF kids. Plus, that should be Isabella’s doing, if anything. So yeah. Confused about that a bit.

I love the parallel how in ep1 Ray running from the pursuers and Emma collapsing was the whole thing about like, not taking it all upon yourself -- and now Emma (who mirrored Ray’s exact run through the forest) got help with Ray jumping in and also later Sonju, conveniently timed as usual haha.

(negativity) It’s a nice parallel, though i would have preferred if Ray had run again and Emma had gotten the shot - it’d still carry around the same message (”then vs now”) but please I beg you give Emma one (1) cool bow shot - or I’ll steal your animation and do it myself >:”(

(ik she got the hunting shot which was slow and cool but idk)

The animation was so pretty. I loved Norman on the cliff and the wind animation, and the MUSIC when the town raid happened and how everything was framed and the goddamn MUSIC???? DID I MENTION THE MUSIC.

Also Norman’s expression and that shot where he realizes Vyrk has the blood condition and sweeps in for a stab.

It was pretty brutal and I appreciate that they showed it. It’s just... really pretty overall and- yes. thank you. love goes out to the staff. god knows they need some. and money. please give them more money.

I also like how with how the episode set up the whole, "are you god?" - "I'll be a god or devil" thing, and then when Vyrk asks "are you a human?", my friend joked he'd answer "no, i'm god" and then we joked a bit about his silence. But in hindsight, I really appreciate those jokes, because it made me realize: for a different kind of character, that WOULD have been the perfect setup to have a badass response but that silence was probably on purpose and I can’t really explain it but I just like how that makes the through-line in the episode even stronger and also kind of connects with his wavering?? I can’t explain but I LIKE IT.

(slightly negative) It's a little bit funny that the parallel didn't occur to him until it was thrown in his face, but I think that's what dissociation and just being observed in one's plan does.

Plus I do get what they're going for, and it was pretty dang emotional. A little on the nose maybe but- yee.

It works well as an eye opener to tear down the mental wall between the two groups. He's also never really been in contact with demons equally before afaik so, I shall accept it. Not that currently killing them all makes him equal in power dynamic right now, but I mean like, in a way where he truly, in real life, got to see that they’re similar -- he made comparisons to humans last episode, so clearly he wasn’t completely unaware. He’s smart, he knew what he was doing would make him seem like a devil to the demons. He probably just numbed himself to it until something that could break those walls down happened, ie the Emma thing.

I feel like it could have worked too if her name wasn’t Emma, but he probably wouldn’t have paused for as long and the voiced lines couldn’t have been given the time needed to make them hit as strongly - but I do think just a line that sounds really similar to what they talked about in GF could have been enough too - but again, that would have potentially taken too long down the exchange between the two.

It also doesn’t seem completely random since the old guy also reacted to Emma’s name before and everything so. Overall, I’m willing to suspend my disbelief - even if it IS funny that the family naming went from Vyrk to... Emma :D (though demons do get old so I suppose that makes sense haha)

I also wonder how this will impact Norman going forward. Even if he decides for the GF plan now (likely, we don’t have much time), he still did that and even if they return all the degenerated demons with Mujika’s, Sonju’s and Vyrk’s help... I doubt those who were already eaten and killed, can be saved. So that blood is on his hands forever now, likely hurting even more now that he feels personally impacted by it and not just... knows he’s doing something bad.

The anime definitely doesn’t have the time to delve into that sadly but that’s,,, very good angst.

week 3 of asking where is Isabella- (I mean I am GLAD that she didn’t show up at the temple- yET - because that’d just make them leaving them there worse but fudshjsd- Is she actually just waiting for them to come for the gate what’s happening ahahaha-)

I also don’t know if I mentioned this in my last episode thoughts or not, but I do still believe the gate stuff could have been revealed more incrementally? Like have James include that tidbit of info, please. If we know gates exist, then at least now it isn’t such an extreme change of information to know: “there are gates. yes where you were sent WAS a gate, but they’ve been destroyed. oh and another gate is in GF!” like HOLD UP-

I wonder if we’ll ever see the hideout that Cislo or Vincent referenced... I’m sure that’d be lots of random children designs so probably not but,, I am really curious how and if they’ll take all those kids. Norman did say he wants freedom for all cattle children. but with no large scale plan anymore, I’m not sure if that’s gonna work. If any human stays behind, as I’ve often talked about before, the cycle just starts anew and I’m really curious if TPN will go for a morally grey ending like that.

Unless the whole “evil-blood” religion works out this time when the high class is gone. but even Sonju is already in part a counter-example so... we’ll see I suppose.

I really loved this episode though! If the anime continues this trend to the finish line, it’ll stay a wonky 7 for me :) (quality wise, you guys know my tpn brainrot won’t make me truly hate it pff- tpn love too big-)

#tpn anime #tpn s2 #tpn #tpn anime-only #tpn norman #tori talks #tori has opinions #tpn anime spoilers #tpn s02e08 spoilers

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swanqueeneverafter · 4 years

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The Once & Future Queen Pt.2

Storybrooke. Present. Mayor's Office. (Snow White sits down with the brand new Reporter for the Daily Mirror.) Reporter: "So, Snow White, tell us about what's been happening in Storybrooke recently?" Snow White: "Well, as you know it's been a pretty tough time for our family and Storybrooke's community as a whole. The last time Emma went back in time, she was back before any of us could notice, but it's been a week already and we just don't know when she'll return." Reporter: "You say 'when' as if you're certain Emma will be back?" Snow White: (Nods:) "Absolutely. There's not a doubt in my mind that Emma will be back." Reporter: "What makes you so sure?" Snow White: "Because that's what we do in our family. We find each other. Always." Reporter: "I see. Moving on slightly, Tiger Lily and Mulan were also victims of the time travel spell. How do you see them coping with their current situation, wherever they might be?" Snow White: "Mulan and Emma have travelled together before. She's a strong leader and excellent fighter, so I'm very glad that they're together in this. As far as Tiger Lily's concerned, I couldn't say." Reporter: "There are rumours that Tiger Lily was once Morgause's Fairy Godmother. That it was she who took the child to be raised by the High Priestesses of the Old Religion." Snow White: (Shaking her head:) "Uther Pendragon is the one responsible for what happened to his daughter." Reporter: "Very well. Tiger Lily's wand was found amongst the wreckage of Camelot's council chamber, is that true?" Snow White: "Unfortunately, yes. If Tiger Lily had managed to hold onto her wand, I believe she, Emma and Mulan would have already returned to us." Reporter: "Because that's how your daughter returned from the past the last time?" Snow White: "Correct." Reporter: "Okay. One last question for now then." Snow White: "Fire away." Reporter: "With Emma now missing, it neutralises the one thing Storybrooke had in its favour above all the United Realms; the combined magic your daughter shares with Regina." Snow White: (Shifts uncomfortably in her seat:) "And your question is?" Reporter: "Knowing that Morgana and Morgause are both still free, should the people of Storybrooke be concerned for their safety?" Snow White: (Takes a breath:) "As some people are aware, I have been taking over some of Regina's mayoral duties lately, which includes assuring the people that things are well in hand. All I can tell you is that as long as Morgana and Morgause are out there, no one knows what their next move might be."

Seas of Meredor. (Morgause and Morgana continue across the sea with the ferryman. Wyvern shriek as they fly around the fortress while the boat continues to the isle.) Enchanted Forest. Past. (Tiger Lily and Tinker Bell sit talking outside a tavern.) Tinker Bell: "Wait, so you're telling me that not only are you from the future, but where you're from those two are married?" Tiger Lily: "Shh, keep your voice down. (Nods:) Yes and they have a son and daughter together." Tinker Bell: "Wow. I guess the Pixie dust did lie." Tiger Lily: (Shrugs:) "Not really, I mean it did lead Regina to her True Love." Tinker Bell: (Considers, then smiles:) "Yeah, I guess that's true."

(Sitting at another table, Emma and Regina talk while Mulan stands a short distance away looking pensive.) Emma: "So, why didn't the King take you with him on his royal visit?" Regina: "Oh, my husband and King Midas are old friends. With Midas now a widower, Leopold thought I would be too bored while the men discussed business of state." Emma: "I see." Regina: "To be honest I think he much prefers when I stay at home to look after his daughter, Snow White. (Catches herself:) I'm sorry, that was rude of me, we've only just met and here I am burdening you with my problems." Emma: "Not at all. It must be hard to be viewed more as a babysitter than a wife." Regina: "Yes. Although in some respects, it's very much a relief." Emma: (Reading between the lines:) "You and the King haven't..." Regina: (Shakes her head:) "Oh, no. I am barely older than his daughter, and as 'Royal babysitter' it would be unseemly for the King to be sleeping with the help. (Both women chuckle at this:) There I go again, being most indiscreet about palace life." Emma: "Perhaps I make you feel comfortable enough to speak your mind?" Regina: (Smiles:) "I think you're right. (Picks up her tankard:) It's a refreshing change." (They clink their tankards together and drink.) Royal Guard: (Approaching their table:) "Queen Regina." Regina: (Turns to him:) "Yes?" Royal Guard: "Snow White sent me and my men to find you. She became worried when you weren't in your room this morning." Emma: (Under her breath:) "God forbid." Royal Guard: "What was that?" Regina: "Well as you can see, I'm fine, thank you very much." Royal Guard: "I have orders to escort you back to the palace." Regina: "And so you shall, after I am done speaking with my friend here." Royal Guard: "My orders-" Emma: (Rising from her seat:) "Listen, pal. The Queen and I were just talking, there's no need for-" Royal Guard: (Draws his sword:) "Stand back, wench, or I shall have you arrested." Regina: (Also stands:) "On who's authority?" Mulan: (Running in:) "Come on, Emma. Let's go." Royal Guard: "Listen to your friend, Miss, or there will be trouble." Regina: "Now wait just a minute." Royal Guard: (Grabbing Regina's arm:) "I'm sorry, Your Majesty, I have my orders." Emma: "Hey! Get your stinking hands off her!" Royal Guard: "Out of my way, harlot." Regina: "Hey, you're hurting my arm!" Emma: "That's it." (Emma hauls off and punches the guard, sending him to the ground. Sighing resignedly, Mulan draws her sword and turns to the oncoming guards. Dispatching them quickly, the warrior turns back to see Emma straddling the man and beating his face to a pulp.) Mulan: (Pulling Emma off of him:) "Now we really need to go, before reinforcements arrive!" Emma: (Giving Regina her most regal bow:) "It was a pleasure, my Queen." (With that, Mulan and Emma take off running into the woods while Regina waves after them, smiling. As the Royal Guard staggers to his feet behind her, Regina elbows him in the face, knocking him unconscious.)

Isle of the Blessed. Present. (Morgause and Morgana approach an altar.) Morgause: “Samhain is almost upon us. We must hurry.” Morgana: (Stops walking:) “I can’t do this.” Morgause: “Sister. (Takes Morgana’s hand and together they continue forward towards the altar:) Remember what I told you. It is the only way. What you are about to do will affect everyone, even you. But most importantly, it will bring our enemies to their knees. You must be strong, remember that. (Morgause presents Morgana with a dagger:) Do not be scared. (Morgana takes the dagger:) I am not long for this world. There is nothing left for me here now. (Morgause weakly climbs onto the altar stone and takes Morgana’s hand:) Please, Sister, let my parting be my final gift to you.” (Morgause lies down.) Morgana: (Standing beside the altar, dagger raised:) “Eala leofu sweoster, paem gastum befaeste ic pe. Alys pa peoster pe inne onwunap.” (Morgana poises the dagger to strike, her eyes glow and she plunges it into Morgause’s chest. Morgause gasps. Morgana is blown off her feet.)

Xena & Gabrielle's Campsite. Woods. (Xena attempts to sleep while Gabrielle sits stargazing.) Gabrielle: “Looking out at the cosmos makes you think... about where we are... where we’ve been...where we’re going now.” Xena: (Rolls over and looks up:) “Yeah... and like the bigger now. Look. (Pointing towards the distance, both Xena and Gabrielle stare at the unusual activity taking place in the sky:) Have you ever seen anything like that?” Gabrielle: “No. But I think we’ve finally found where Morgana and Morgause are. What do you say?” Xena: (Nods:) “I say, let’s go check it out.” Isle of the Blessed. (Cailleach strokes Morgana’s cheek and Morgana wakes. Morgana sits up and sees the cloaked woman standing in front of the rift.) Morgana: “Who are you?” Cailleach: “I am the Cailleach, the gatekeeper to the spirit world. You have torn the veil between the worlds. (Eerie screams echo from the rift:) The Dorocha. They are the voices of the dead, my child. And, like the dead, they are numberless. (Morgana looks around in fear:) You are right to be afraid, Morgana. Your enemies will rue this day and all the destruction it brings, but you must beware. Tearing the veil between the worlds has created a new world, and you will not walk through it alone. The one they call Merlin will walk in your shadow. He is your destiny, and he is your doom.”

Enchanted Forest. Past. (Having successfully evaded capture, Emma and Mulan find themselves outside yet another tavern. When the heavens begin to open however, they have little choice but to enter.) Tavern. (A man is scrubbing the floor of the tavern.) Man: “Ah, great to see the Sheriff didn't scare everyone off. (Stands:) What can I get for you?” Mulan: “Oh, we didn't come here for the ale.” Emma: (Looking around:) “Nor, clearly, for the ambience. We came... (Turns to see the man, who is revealed to be Robin Hood:) Uh...” Mulan: (Stepping in:) “To get out of the rain. Do you have rooms here?” Robin: “We do, yes.” Emma: (Regaining her thoughts:) “Great. We’ll take two.” Robin: “Yes, well, uh, they’re not free.” Emma: “Right! (Pats her pockets:) I don’t seem to... Mulan? (Mulan shakes her head:) We don’t actually have any money.” Robin: “Then you have a problem.” Emma: “But we’re willing to work for a room. Right, Mulan?” Mulan: (Nods:) “Certainly.” Robin: (Looking Mulan up and down:) “I'm not in that line of business anymore.” Emma: “No but, it seems, you won't be in the tavern business, either. Was that a tax notice I saw on the door?” Robin: “Get to the point.” Emma: “Please just let us stay here and we’ll work for room and board. You can’t say fairer than that?” Robin: (Considers:) “Hm. My wife was thinking about hiring some extra hands around the place.” Emma: (Laughs, relieved:) “You’re married?” Robin: (Confused:) “Yes.” Emma: “That’s wonderful news.” Robin: (To Mulan:) “Is your friend all right?” Mulan: (Nods:) “She’s had a long day, probably light-headed from exhaustion.” Robin: “Shame. I could have done with you starting tonight. This floor’s playing havoc with my knees.” Emma: (Reaching out for the cloth in Robin’s hand:) “Not a problem! So we have a deal, right?” Robin: (Hesitates then hands over the cloth:) “Agreed. (Removing his apron:) Your rooms are up the stairs to your right. Now if you’ll excuse me ladies, I think I’ll turn in and give my wife the good news.” Mulan: “Good night.” Emma: “Yeah, night.” (Robin leaves.) Mulan: “I don’t know what you’re so happy about. We just escaped the royal guards to work for a man wanted by the Sheriff.” Emma: “Oh, details details. Think big picture, Mulan. Now we have a roof over our heads, Robin Hood is married and I just flirted with a younger version of my wife.” Mulan: “Yeah, about that, I thought you were concerned about messing up the timelines?” Emma: (Agitated:) “You are just determined to see the bad side to everything, aren’t you? Look, don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. Now quit worrying, grab a sponge and help me wash this floor.” (Although still concerned by the day’s events, Mulan decides to let things go for now, instead concentrating on finishing the tavern floor so that they both might get some sleep.)

Village. Present. (On their way to investigate the odd light in the sky, Xena and Gabrielle pass through a village.) Xena: “It’s too quiet.” (They enter the village and all is silent. A door creaks loudly and they freeze until a goat bleats and wanders out. Continuing on, they enter one of the houses. Inside, they stare at the frosted corpses of some of the villagers.) Gabrielle: “What could have done this? (They turn as something flies past them:) You see that?” Xena: (Shakes her head:) “We are literally chasing shadows. Come on.” (They exit the house and search the village, now bearing torches. Xena splits off from Gabrielle when she hears a door shut in a barn. Gabrielle walks around cautiously and a chicken jumps out at her. She sighs in relief. Something shrieks quietly behind Xena and she sees a wisp of it as it exits the barn. Xena chases the shrieking wisp but loses it. Screams echo around Gabrielle. A wisp shoots straight for her.) Gabrielle: “Xena!” (Gabrielle uses her torch to repel the wisp.) Xena: (Running to her:) “What happened?” Gabrielle: “There’s something out there!” Xena: “You saw it?” Gabrielle: “When it saw the light, it fled. I don’t think it’s something you can chase or something you can kill.” (The shrieks echo.) Xena: “We need to get out of here.”

#sq #swanqueen #swan queen

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coldcomputersoul · 3 years

Text

Marco vs. the Forces of Love Episode 5: Carnival

Summary: It’s a hoot and a holler when Marco escapes from the girls and gets blackmailed by Jeremy. Meanwhile, Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo work together to find him.

Star vs. the Forces of Evil belongs to:

[theme song]

ACT I

[The episode starts where we left off at the previous episode where Star and Janna have a heated argument regarding Marco]

Janna:

If anything, Marco should avoid you at all costs.

Star:

Oh yeah? At least I don’t steal things from him of stalk him like a creep, and let me tell you...

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Aw man, this is getting ugly. I need to get out of here.

Star:

...and that’s why I’m the best girl for Marco.

Janna:

Sure, keep making noise babyface. You sure are gonna win if you cry harder.

Star:

[breaking glass sound] What did you just say to me?

Janna:

I said: Keep making noise baby...

[before she can finish Star tackles Janna and they start a fight, but Jackie once again gets in between and attempts to stop them]

Jackie:

Come on girls please... fighting each other won’t solve anything. It will makes things worse.

Janna:

You’re right. We should let Marco decide once and for all and finish this nonsense...

Star:

I agree. So Marco, which one of us do you like...? [she notices that Marco is missing] Marco? Where did he go?

Janna:

Maybe he ran away from you and your childish behaviour your majesty...

Jackie:

Janna...

Star:

Well at least I’m a member of the royalty. You, on the other hand are just a sad, strange little girl who steals wallets to get attention. How pathetic.

Jackie:

Star...

Janna:

Say it again to my face, your royal pain.

Star:

I’ll be glad...

[Just when they’re about to start another brawl, an orange portal opens in front of them with Marco and Hekapoo coming out from it]

Hekapoo:

What’s up ladies?

Star:

What the…?!!!

[TIME CARD: FLASHBACK]

[Cut Marco and Hekapoo lying under the bed sheets all sweaty and exhausted. Marco stares at the ceiling with his arms around his head while Hekapoo plays with her hand on his chest]

Hekapoo:

That... was even better than I remembered. I really needed this...

Marco:

[concerned] I’m glad to hear it...

[Hekapoo notices that Marco looks concerned about something]

Hekapoo:

Is there… something you wanna tell me right now?

Marco:

What do you mean?

Hekapoo:

You look kinda sad. Do you regret about this?

Marco:

What? No, I’m not. It was wonderful and you’re an amazing chick and all but...

Hekapoo:

Do you still have feelings for Star?

Marco:

What happens between me and Star, like I said, it’s complicated. I don’t even know how to define it. The problem is: Right now, I just don’t know what I’m doing. It seems like every time I think I’ve found love, something happens and I get caught between more decisions and… I can’t think clearly anymore. I want somebody to love, someone who gives me comfort and support, but I also want to live dangerously, to be challenged...

Hekapoo:

Marco, you don’t have a problem. You’re just a kid. It’s normal for boys at your age being so indecisive and impulsive. You’re just a little confused, that’s all.

Marco:

Maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I’m hurting Star. I wish I knew what I want so this could end peacefully.

[Hekapoo looks at Marco for a moment and thinks of a way to help him]

Hekapoo:

I think I figured out what’s your problem...

Marco:

You do?

Hekapoo:

You said that you don’t know what you want in a girl, right?

Marco:

Right...

Hekapoo:

That’s because you’re too busy pleasing everyone else instead of focus on what makes YOU happy. Am I right?

Marco:

Uhm, yeah, that’s kinda true...

Hekapoo:

And that’s my point: There’s nothing wrong in enjoying yourself once in a while. You’re a great guy Marco Diaz, and I’ve always thought you deserve better.

Marco:

That’s funny. I’ve always consider myself to be very lucky.

Hekapoo:

Yeah, but I’m not talking about the things you have, I’m talking about respect. And that’s what I love about you Marco: No matter how hard life has been treating you, you always seem to keep going. You spent 16 years chasing me to get back a lousy pair of scissors that weren’t even yours.

Marco:

That’s because I didn’t knew that were your scissors.

Hekapoo:

That doesn’t matter. What I’m trying to say is that everyone else would just given up the first year or so, but you... you persisted all those years and never turned back. And to tell you the the truth, It makes me kinda jealous of Star. She’s so lucky to have you in her life.

Marco:

[blushing] I... I’ve never realized how much I needed to hear that.

Hekapoo:

You’re welcome. [they stare at each other for a brief moment]

[Hekapoo gets up the bed and puts her trademark yellow dress. Marco dress up as well]

Hekapoo:

You know? You have done so much for me lately and I wanna make it up for you.

Marco:

It isn’t really necessary. I like to be helpful.

Hekapoo:

But I wanna do it. You deserve a better treatment and Star still doesn’t understand how valuable you really are, so we’re gonna pay her a visit so I can speak her a piece of my mind...

Marco:

[getting nervous] You what? Hekapoo, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but… [Hekapoo opens a portal and grabs him by the hoodie before he can finish] Wait, I’m not mentally prepared for this...

[TIME CARD: END OF FLASHBACK]

[Cut Back to Marco and Hekapoo facing Star, Jackie and Janna at the park]

Janna:

And who the hell are you?

Hekapoo:

My name is Hekapoo, gatekeeper of the realms of time and space, and I’m here to set the record straight regarding Marco.

Marco:

[thinking to himself] This is it. They’re gonna tear me apart limb by limb.

Star:

Wait… what do you mean by “set the record straight”? Is there anything you didn’t tell us yet Marco?

Marco:

Uhm, it’s funny that you mention it, because...

Jackie:

Hey, aren’t you that girl that kept Marco recluse for 16 years on that weird dimension?

Hekapoo:

Mmmm, recluse it’s not the word I would use, but... Yes, yes I am...

Star:

You better have a good explanation for this Marco Diaz.

Marco:

I was getting into that, you see...

Hekapoo:

Don’t tell her anything Marco, you don’t owe her any explanations...

Janna:

[raising an eyebrow] You seem pretty close to be just acquaintances.

Hekapoo:

You’re pretty sharp for a human kid. I’ll give you that...

Star:

Seriously, what’s the deal with you and Marco?

Hekapoo:

Oh please, don’t tell me that you still can’t figure it out...

Marco:

[whispering] Hekapoo please, you’re making it worse...

Star:

[upset] And what exactly am I supposed to “figure out”?

Hekapoo:

Mmmm, I’m gonna take a wild guess: Marco is not only good in bed like… REALLY good, but also is so full of energy that is capable to last for hours and hours. Am I right?

Star:

So?

Hekapoo:

Where do you think he learned all that stuff?

[Star takes a moment to think about it until she realizes what she meant]

Star:

[gasps] Marco, is that true?

Marco:

Well, you see: I was trying to get back your scissors and spent 16 years on her dimension to do it and… I may have got a little sidetracked...?

Star:

Marco!!!

Janna:

Well, well, well, guess we learned something new about you safety kid....

Jackie:

Why you didn’t tell about this before? I thought we were gonna be honest to each other...

Marco:

I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention, but you also lied to me...

Jackie:

Yeah, but what you did was way before of what we did and we already apologized, right Star?

Star:

Indeed, what is wrong with you? I thought you were better than this...

Marco:

[staring at the floor] I’m sorry...

Hekapoo:

[to Jackie and Janna] Wait, I’m confused… What is your relation with Marco?

Janna:

I am his lover...

Jackie:

And I am his former girlfriend...

Hekapoo:

So, you’re telling he’s been cheating on all of you at once?

Janna:

That’s right.

Hekapoo:

Wait a minute: Wasn’t Star your girlfriend?

Marco:

I think you misunderstood what I meant. Star is not exactly my girlfriend, it’s just that I...

Star:

What?!!! So you’re telling me during all this time you did with me all kind of things... and you didn’t even considering me your girlfriend?!!!

Marco:

You’re getting me wrong. I’m actually...

[All the girls give Marco a death glare as he gulps and takes a step back wearing a fearful expression on his face]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Oh God, I’m SO screwed. There’s no way I can’t get out of this one...

Star:

I don’t even know you anymore.

Jackie:

[crossing her arms] I agree. We’re very disappointed of you right now.

Janna:

So, what do you have to say in your defense loverboy?

Marco:

[shivering] Girls, there’s no need to do something crazy.

Star:

You haven’t seen crazy yet.

Marco:

Please, just listen to me: It’s not that I didn’t enjoy all this time with all of you...

Janna:

Oh, we all know that you did it, you womanizing bastard.

[The girls surround Marco while he just takes a deep breath and prepares to get punished by them]

Hekapoo:

Any last words to defend yourself fleshwad?

Marco:

[sigh] I understand that why you’re so upset right now and I just want you to know that… [he notices something at the sky] Holy shit, is that a nuclear missile coming right over here?!!! [points at the sky]

Janna:

[crossing her arms] Marco, Do you seriously think that we’re gonna fall for that one? I mean, not even Star is looking up...

Star:

Yeah… [beat] HEY!!!

Marco:

[panicking] I’m serious, it’s getting closer, we’ve gotta get out of here.

Jackie:

Marco, please. This is getting ridiculous. Why don’t you just face the problem instead of coming up with such a nonsensical…?

Random Person:

[o.s] A NUCLEAR MISSILE IS COMING DOWN!!! EVERYONE RUN AWAY!!!

[Cut to the missile falling down while all the people at the park evacuate while screaming in panic]

Janna:

[looking at the sky] Holy guacamole: Marco was telling the truth.

Jackie:

Quick, we gotta get out of here fast.

Star:

Wait… I know what to do...

[Star uses her wand to transform into her mewberty self and flies to the missile to blast it]

Star:

[pointing at the missile with her wand] MEGA RAINBOW BLA…!!!

Marco:

[shouting at her] Star, don’t do that!!! You’re gonna make it explode!!!

Jackie:

Try to slow it down!!!

Star:

Okay, I got it.

[Star flies towards the missile, grabs it and attempts to slow it down using the flutter of her wings, but it’s too heavy for her to handle]

Janna:

That’s it, we’re doomed.

[everyone close their eyes waiting for the end, but the missile just lands and gets buried in the ground without exploding in a very anticlimactic way]

Marco:

[opening his eyes] Are we… still alive?

Jackie:

Apparently, but how?

Marco:

Star, are you okay? [he helps Star to get down from the missile]

Star:

[turning back to normal] I’m fine, but… what just happened?

[Janna gets closer to the missile and takes a look to it]

Marco:

I’m not sure, but we need to get out here. This thing could still explode if we...

[Janna kicks the missile twice]

Marco:

[to Janna] WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!

Janna:

Don’t panic safety kid. The missile is hollow.

Jackie:

Really? [she also kicks it] Hey, you’re right.

Star:

But I don’t understand: Why would anyone launch a weapon that doesn’t even work?

Janna:

Tell that to Pyongyang’s government.

Hekapoo:

And just when I thought humans couldn’t get any dumber.

Janna:

Yeah right, because mewmans and monsters are SO smart that they need magic to solve all their problems. That’s a good one.

Star:

Hey, shut your piehole Janna. You don’t know anything about us mewnans and all the problems we have to deal with on our everyday lives.

Janna:

That’s even funnier coming from you, your royal highness.

Star:

Just because I’m a princess that doesn’t mean I don’t have problems of my own, okay?

Janna:

Is that so? name one.

Star:

Well, for instance, you’re all getting in the way between me and Marco.

Hekapoo:

Oh, poor you. Let me ask you something: If Marco is SO comfortable with you, why is he looking for other girls?

Star:

Perhaps because some of those girls keep him prisoner for 16 years and take advantage of him...

Hekapoo:

Yeah right, because is not like I gave him the choice to go back to Earth. Also, the only reason he stayed on my dimension for so long it’s because he was trying to get back the scissors that your pony friend stole from me in the first place...

Star:

Leave Pony Head out of this.

Hekapoo:

Well, if you and Marco were so close, he would have told you all of this, right Marco? [notices that he is missing] Marco?

Star:

Oh, damn it. He did it again.

Janna:

Nice job scaring him way. AGAIN.

Star:

Oh, like you didn’t have any part on it whatsoever.

Jackie:

Uhm, girls?

Janna:

At least I don’t blame everyone else for my own mistakes like you do.

Jackie:

Girls?

Star:

Perhaps because you never apologize for your mistakes.

Jackie:

Girls?

Janna:

As if you know what it is to apologize...

Jackie:

[screaming] ENOUGH!!!

[everyone stop arguing and pay attention to Jackie]

Jackie:

Now, I don’t care how entitled do you think you are, or how much you want to tear apart to each other. The only thing I want is to know where Marco is, and whining and complaining like a bunch of children is not gonna solve anything, so please, PLEASE: Stop it.

[they get quiet for a few seconds awkwardly staring at the ground. Then Hekapoo decides to break the silence]

Hekapoo:

[sigh] You have a good point. This bickering is both pointless and counterproductive. I mean, I don’t even know who you girls are, I was here just to stand for Marco, but now that he’s gone…

Janna:

Well, neither do I. Right now I’m upset because I just want to know where Marco is...

Hekapoo:

I propose a truce until we find him so we can settle this once and for all. What do you say?

Jackie:

I’m in. [she shakes hands with Hekapoo]

Janna:

Me too. This whole argument is getting old anyway. [she also shakes hands with her]

Hekapoo:

What about you princess Butterfly?

Star:

Well... if Jackie is okay with it, I guess you can count me in as well.

Jackie:

[giving her a pat on the back] That’s the spirit.

[Star finally shakes hands with Hekapoo]

ACT II

[Cut to a crowd of people at Echo Creek’s pier. President Richard Martinez is about to give a press conference while everyone is talking about the missile incident. Cut to Alfonzo and Ferguson between the crowd]

Ferguson:

Oh man, I’m so afraid right now.

Alfonzo:

Tell me about it. Less than 5 minutes after it happened and my dad just ran away to the store to buy plans for a bomb shelter.

Ferguson:

What do you think it’s going to happen? Do you think they’re gonna relocated us all or something?

Alfonzo:

I hope not. I’ve spent the best years of my life on this town.

[cut to a flashback of Alfonzo getting his head stuck on a toilet by local bully Lars]

Ferguson:

[deadpan] Right...

[Cut back to President Martinez at the stage]

President Martinez:

[speaking at the microphone] My fellow american citizens:In light of the recent mass hysteria that followed the landing of the nuclear missile “allegedly” launched by the government of North Korea early this afternoon, I flew back to this lovely town to clarify some of the misconceptions you may had about what exactly is going on...

Justin:

WE’RE ALL GOING TO GET NUKED!!! [everyone at the audience starts screaming]

President Martinez:

Now, calm down everybody. Nobody is going to get nuked, in fact: This whole incident was a huge misunderstanding.

Sabrina:

Misunderstanding?

President Martinez:

You’re correct young lady in the audience. You see: This was all part of a… simulation, yeah, that’s it. The US DoD personally asked me to launch this fake missile to test the overall response of your town in case of an actual nuclear threat and… congratulations. You passed.

Reporter:

But, isn’t launching a fake WMD without prior notice a form of fear-mongering?

President Martinez:

Now, you may thinking that these nuclear policies are highly unconstitutional. And you’re totally right. That’s why I came here to personally apologize for such an irresponsible decision and make it clear that this tragic incident will never going to repeat again. And to compensate you: I’m proud to announce that I’m bringing to your town: A brand new carnival. [talks at the phone] Bring it on boys.

[a group of helicopters brings a rollercoaster, a ferris wheel, a merry-go-round as well as other park attractions and land them on the pier]

Brittney:

Oh come on, do you actually believe that we’re going to forgive you for spreading scaremongering on our town using such a moronic tactic that no one is going to…?

Blake Lemon:

Hey, look everyone: A free carnival.

[everyone at the audience go to the carnival to try the rides while Brittney gets trapped among the excited crowd]

President Martinez:

[talking to the bodyguards] Phew, that was a close one. Call CNN, CBS, ABC and MSNBC and tell them to bury the lede. no one else at the country has to know about this.

Bodyguard:

Yes sir.

[Cut to Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo at Marco’s living room. Star is talking with Princess Pony Head using her mirror phone]

Star:

Are you sure about that?

Princess Pony Head:

[sigh] For the millionth time: Yes. I looked for him like… everywhere. He’s not at the Amethyst Arcade, he’s not at Quest Buy, he’s not at Pixtopia, and he’s definitely not at the Goblin Dogs stand.

Star:

But what about Kelly and Tad?

Princess Pony Head:

They haven’t seen Marco either. I’m sorry B-Fly, but your beloved Earth Turd is officially MIA.

Star:

That’s okay. I appreciate your help.

Princess Pony Head:

I’ve always knew that turd was no good for you B-Fly. I’ll tell you what: Next time I see him I’m gonna shove it my horn right up his...

Star:

As... well-intended you may be, it’s not really necessary for you to do that. I’ll deal with this problem all by myself, okay?

Princess Pony Head:

Pfft, whatever. See you next time B-Fly. [she hangs up]

Star:

Well, girls it seems that Marco is not at Mewni after all.

Janna:

Yeah, but it doesn’t take away the fact that he’s still nowhere to be found.

Jackie:

Do you know any other place he could possibly be?

Star:

Not a clue. but wait, I’ve got it: I’ll use the All-Seeing Eye to look up where he is.

Hekapoo:

Wait… The All-Seeing Eye? Are you aware that spell is completely Off-Limits. right?

Star:

Who cares? I’m gonna use it just for a teeny-weenie short moment. What could possibly go wrong?

Hekapoo:

Everything can go wrong if you use that spell. There is a good reason of why it’s in the forbidden chapter. You can’t just use it as you please.

Star:

Oh, and do you have a better idea?

Hekapoo:

Well, not exactly, but I do know that considering the low amount of magic power those scissors have, he couldn’t go any further than Earth. That’s for sure.

Jackie:

Yeah, but even if that were true, Earth is still a huge place for Marco to hide. He could be in China for all we know...

Janna:

Well, not necessarily.

Star:

What are you talking about?

Janna:

When you have the ability to move from place to place in a matter of seconds, one could argue that he would use the scissors to hide at some unknown village at the Congo or something like that. But what if Marco is actually self aware of this and he chose to stay right here at Echo Creek just to drift away our attention?

Jackie:

It might be possible, but it still sounds pretty unlikely. How can we be sure?

Janna:

Exactly. We can’t, the only thing we can do so far is to look up for him at the last place he could possibly be right here. A place full of lights and surrounded by people, a place like...

Everyone:

The carnival.

[Cut to Echo Creek’s carnival. Everyone is having a good time, except for Jeremy Birnbaum who walks around along with his butler bored out of his mind]

Jeremy:

[eating cotton candy] Ugh, this is the worst carnival I’ve been on my entire life. I’d rather get grounded doing my homework than attend this snoozefest any longer.

Butler:

You want me to take you back home master Jeremy?

Jeremy:

Hang on, I’m sure I can find someone to pull a prank on. Okay, let’s see… [he looks around to find someone] Too many potential victims, but no one who’s actually worth the effort.

Butler:

Well, if you want my advice sir...

Jeremy:

I pay you to drive me home, not to listen your worthless advice, so shut your piehole. Wait a second… [he looks at some guy wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora sneaking around] Mission control: We’ve found our next target, he-he-he...

[the guy with the trenchcoat turns out to be Marco, who hides behind an alley and attempts to use the dimensional scissors]

Marco:

Ugh, come on. Open the portal already. Goddammit.

Jeremy:

Hey jerkface...

[Marco turns around and sees Jeremy right behind him recording him with his cell phone]

Marco:

Jeremy? What are you doing here?

Jeremy:

Funny, I could ask you the same question. What are you hiding under that coat? Free candy?

Marco:

Uhm, that’s none of your business, so... buzz off dude.

Jeremy:

And miss the opportunity to humiliate you and whatever you’re trying to do? No way, this shit is gold.

Marco:

Okay, first of all: Watch your potty mouth you little brat, talk like a sailor does not make you edgier than the 12 year old kids who post Minecraft gameplays on Youtube; and second of all: If you wanna talk about humiliation, do I need to remind you of the time when I put your “private karate lessons” to shame at the graduation? I don’t think so...

Jeremy:

Well, if you’re so confident about yourself, whom are you hiding from?

Marco:

Who says that I’m hiding?

Jeremy:

Oh, give me a break Marco: You’re behind an alley wearing a trenchcoat AND a fedora like you were some kind of secret agent. You’re so bad at lying it’s kinda sad.

Marco:

Oh yeah? and you’re so full of yourself I’m surprised that you are not overweight. Why don’t you just admit that you act like a jerk simply because you have an inferiority complex that…?

[In that moment, Marco hears the voice of Star and the girls passing by, so he puts his head out the alley to confirm it]

Marco:

What the…? [he sees them searching for him] Oh, crap...

Jeremy:

[wearing a smug smile] Well, well, well... What do he have here? Marco Diaz, the tough, misunderstood “bad boy”, hiding from a group of girls? I don’t even know what this is all about, but I’m already excited.

Marco:

Jeremy, listen: Right now I’m on a very delicate situation and... I know that I’m not exactly your favorite person in the world, but… Would you please help me to get out of here without being noticed?

Jeremy:

Wait, hold on. Let me get this straight: You’re asking ME to help YOU to escape from those chicks over there? [he starts laughing] This is just… I don’t even know what to say.

Marco:

Oh, come on Jeremy, don’t you have at least a bit of empathy for someone other than yourself?

Jeremy:

Mmmm, I don’t know. Aren’t you the one who said that I’m “full of myself”?

Marco:

[getting on his knees] Jeremy please. I’ll do whatever you want?

Jeremy:

[raising an eyebrow] Whatever I want?

Marco:

[sigh] Yes, whatever you want.

Jeremy:

Mmmm, let me think about it… on one hand, I could rat you out to those girls and enjoy your demise in the front row… and on the other hand I could help you out and turn you into my personal slave for the rest of the evening, which is a very rare opportunity… Alright Romeo, I’ll help you out...

Marco:

Oh thank you Jeremy...

Jeremy:

However: I want your red belt...

Marco:

[sigh] Okay, it’s all yours...

Jeremy:

AND your karate certificate.

Marco:

Ugh, fine. You can have that too.

Jeremy:

Also, I want your entire comic book collection.

Marco:

Jesus Christ, why don’t you ask for my soul while you’re at it?

Jeremy:

Actually, that’s not a bad idea.

Marco:

[grinding his teeth] Jeremy...

Jeremy:

Okay, I finished to mess up with you sweetheart. [uses his cell phone to call his butler] Henry? Yeah, it’s me your master Jeremy… I need a distraction now… yup, 40’ away...

[A loud explosion is heard at the distance, which drifts everyone’s attention. Marco and Jeremy use the opportunity to run away from the scene]

Jeremy:

And that’s why you should worship the almighty dollar...

Marco:

Well, I guess I owe you for that one.

Jeremy:

That’s what I love to hear. Come on slave boy, you still have some work to do.

Marco:

[sigh] Somebody kill me please.

[Cut to Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo still looking for Marco]

Star:

Now that was weird, it sounded like an explosion, but everything just seems fine.

Hekapoo:

Something tells me that Marco had something to do with it.

Jackie:

That may be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is still nowhere to be found, especially among this huge crowd of people.

Janna:

What are we gonna do then?

Jackie:

I suggest we split up to cover more ground. Janna: You and Hekapoo go and check up the stands while Star and I will look for him up in the ferris wheel. We’ll be in contact with our cell phones. Then we’ll meet again right here in one hour. Got it?

Hekapoo:

Clear as crystal.

Janna:

It works for me.

Star:

Yeah, me too.

Jackie:

Alright people, let’s go.

[Cut to Marco and Jeremy wandering around looking for victims. Jeremy set eyes on a little girl eating ice cream while sitting on a bench]

Jeremy:

Alright slave boy, here’s the first order of business: See that little girl eating ice cream over there?

Marco:

Uhm, yeah.

Jeremy:

Well, I want you to sneak around behind her back and throw her ice cream at the floor without being noticed.

Marco:

What? That’s terrible. I’m not gonna do that.

Jeremy:

Oh, yes you will. We had a deal remember?

Marco:

Forget about it. I’d rather eat my toenails on a bowl of cereal.

Jeremy:

Well, in that case I guess I’m gonna have to rat you out with your cheerleading squad then...

Marco:

Yeah, like I care. I bet they all returned home at this point.

Jeremy:

Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Just look at behind you.

[Marco turns around and sees Janna and Hekapoo heading towards them. Marco gets all nervous while Jeremy watches him wearing a smug face]

Jeremy:

Not feeling so brave now, huh?

Marco:

You little piece of...

Jeremy:

Ah ah ah! Remember our deal slave boy.

[Marco gets infuriated, but immediately calms down as he sees Janna and Hekapoo getting closer]

Marco:

[feeling resigned] Okay. I’ll do it.

Jeremy:

That’s a good boy.

[Marco sneaks around behind the little girl and throws a coin next to her. She turns her head and Marco uses the opportunity to throw her ice cream to the floor, which makes her cry. Then Marco returns with Jeremy]

Jeremy:

Wow, I hate to admit it, but… I’m truly impressed. I’ve never seen someone sneaking up that way, I mean, you have the reflexes of a ninja.

[Marco just looks at the little girl crying and feels guilty about it]

Jeremy:

Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. She’ll get over it.

Marco:

Please don’t make me do that ever again.

Jeremy:

Are you kidding me? That was freaking gold, and this is just the beginning my friend.

[Cut to Janna and Hekapoo still looking for Marco on the stands]

Janna:

Have you found anything?

Hekapoo:

I can feel the power of the scissors near around us, but I’m still not really sure where this feeling is coming from...

Janna:

Well, that’s just great. It’s like we’re playing hide and seek with Marco.

[they spot the little girl on the bench still crying, so they go to talk to her]

Janna:

Hey, what’s wrong little girl? Why are you crying?

Little girl:

My ice cream... [shows her the empty cone]

Janna:

Oh, I see. And where are your parents?

Little girl:

Over there... [points at her parents playing at the stands completely oblivious]

Janna:

Typical. I’ll tell you what: I’ll go to get you another ice cream, so in the meantime you can talk with my friend Hekapoo right over here...

Hekapoo:

What? Why do I have to take care of her?

Janna:

Don’t be rude, just keep her distracted for a few minutes, alright?

Hekapoo:

Okay...

[Janna goes to buy an ice cream while Hekapoo just sits on the bench looking at the girl in silence. Then she starts crying again]

Hekapoo:

Oh, come on little girl,dont cry. I… I… I don’t really know what to do in these situations. [she thinks for a moment until she gets an idea] I got it.

[Hekapoo uses her powers to materialize a group of tiny ballerinas and makes them dance in front of the girl, which makes her stop crying]

Little girl:

[clapping] Bravo… I love ballerinas.

Hekapoo:

[looking exhausted] I’m glad you liked it.

[In that moment, Janna returns with the ice cream]

Janna:

There you go... [gives the ice cream to the girl]

Little girl:

Ice cream. Thanks.

Janna:

You welcome sweetie, just remember to be more careful next time. Now if you excuse us. We have to go...

Little girl:

Bye ballerinas… [she waves goodbye to both of them as they leave]

Janna:

[to Hekapoo] Are you okay? You don’t look so well.

Hekapoo:

I’m fine. I just... need to take a short break.

Janna:

You did a great job back there. Come on, I’ll buy you a cotton candy.

Hekapoo:

Thanks.

ACT III

[Cut to an old lady on an electric wheelchair who can’t move around because their brakes were cut. Marco and Jeremy are watching her from the distance]

Jeremy:

I swear, this evening just keeps getting better every time, don’t you think?

Marco:

It can’t get any worse than this.

Jeremy:

Is that a challenge?

Marco:

You know, I don’t understand you Jeremy...

Jeremy:

It’s MASTER Jeremy to you.

Marco:

It’s like being rich, healthy and successful isn’t enough and you feel the need to shove it on everyone’s faces, and it makes me wonder: Why? What’s the point? Is it because you don’t have any real friends? grow up...

Jeremy:

That’s funny coming from the guy who likes to bang everything that moves like if it was a sport. Also, aren’t you friends with a rich a-hole yourself? because from what I see it: You’re either a masochist, a complete pervert, or a social climber.

Marco:

You don’t even know what you’re talking about. My relationship with Star goes beyond your shallow and materialistic viewpoints.

Jeremy:

Or maybe, that’s what you want to believe. How naive can you possibly be?

Marco:

At least I live in the real world. When was the last time you got out from your cute little bubble, you self entitled prick?

Jeremy:

I don’t need to live on what you call “the real world”, as long as I can humiliate poor saps like you.

Marco:

Is that so? Then how about a bet? If I win I can keep my red belt, my karate certificate AND my comic book collection.

Jeremy:

And if I win?

Marco:

I’ll mow your lawn for a whole year.

Jeremy:

Mmmm, that sounds interesting. I’ll take it.

Marco:

And just to prove to you how sure I am, I’ll let you choose the challenge.

Jeremy:

That’s even better.

Marco:

Yeah, that’s right. Keep that smug grin on your face, because no matter what you choose, I’m 100% percent sure that I’ll kick. your. butt...

[Cut to Marco and Jeremy at the bumper cars. Marco loses all his confidence while Jeremy just watches him smiling with his arms crossed]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] I didn’t think this through, did I?

Jeremy:

Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get it on.

Marco:

I stand corrected: This evening just got worse.

[Cut to Star and Jackie sitting on the ferris wheel. Star uses her wand as a magnifying glass to search for Marco]

Jackie:

Do you see anything?

Star:

I can see Principal Skeeves selling a couple of yearbooks, but there’s no sign of Marco whatsoever. What about you?

Jackie:

Well, It’s hard for me to see from this height, but so far I haven’t found anything yet.

Star:

[sigh] I’m getting tired of this. I wonder if Janna and Hekapoo already found him.

Jackie:

They would have already told us if that were the case

Star:

How can you be so sure? What if they’re conspiring against us to have Marco all for themselves?

Jackie:

Don’t be so paranoid Star. We all made a truce, remember?

Star:

I know that, it’s just that I don’t really trust Janna right now. I mean, look at what she did behind our backs.

Jackie:

Listen, I can understand why you’re so upset. I’m very upset too, but I’m trying to keep myself under control. That way is easier for me to deal with my problems.

Star:

You make it sound so simple, but I just... don’t have the same level of patience as you Jackie.

[Star holds her knees and lowers her head while Jackie watches her concerned]

Jackie:

Star, can I confess something very personal to you?

Star:

Sure.

Jackie:

Believe it or not, I wasn’t always the calm and composed person you see right now...

Star:

Get out of here...

Jackie:

But it’s true. The thing is...

[Cut to a black and white flashback of Jackie’s childhood. She’s painting a watermelon while everyone else is playing outside]

Jackie:

[narrating] When I was 8 years old, I was having a bit of a hard time. My folks got divorced due financial difficulties and at the time I used to think it was my fault because I was a kid and didn’t know better... [finishes the drawing and throws it away]

[Cut to Jackie’s mother (face unseen) talking with the school counselor while he shows her the report card of her daughter. Jackie is sitting next to her]

Jackie:

[narrating] ...my low self esteem started to affect my grades as well, and even though my mom told me countless times that it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t simply believe it. I thought she just said that to make me feel less guilty about the divorce...

[Cut to Jackie receiving a dog for christmas while her mother is knitting a scarf next to the tree]

Jackie:

[narrating] My mom did everything she could to make me feel better. She even bought me a dog that I named Pickles. But it actually made things worse when I accidentally gave it chocolate while looking for some dog food, but couldn’t find any… again, I didn’t know any better back then...

[Cut to Jackie and her mother standing next to Pickles grave. She starts crying while holding her mother’s leg]

Jackie:

[narrating] It wasn’t until that moment my mom decided to take me to the beach without prior notice. I’m not exactly sure why she chose that place in particular, but what I do know is that it was an experience that I’ll never forget...

[Jackie is playing with a red ball next to the shore]

Jackie:

[narrating] I was playing with my favorite red ball very close to the shore. Back then I was full of energy and could play to kick the ball around for hours and hours. And just when I thought I was finally letting go all my anxiety, tragedy struck again. I kicked my ball so hard that it fell onto the sea...

[Jackie runs to the sea to get her ball back, but gets stopped by her mother]

Jackie:

[narrating] And thank goodness my mom stopped me because at the time I didn’t know how to swim, but most importantly: I witnessed one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen in my entire life... [watches a group of dolphins playing with the ball] Now, I don’t know exactly how to put into words the wide variety of emotions I felt that day, but something about those dolphins and their playful and carefree lifestyle, got me so fascinated that I became obsessed with those animals. My mom of course received my new hobby with open arms and encouraged me to learn how to surf to get closer with them, that led me to learn how to skate and the rest is history...

[Cut back to Star and Jackie at the ferris wheel]

Star:

Wow, who would’ve thought that the reason behind your love for skating could be so… deep.

Jackie:

Well, it’s the closest thing to surf when I’m on firm land.

Star:

Jackie: I want to apologize for all the things I did to you so far.

Jackie:

What are you talking about?

Star:

Don’t act like you don’t know, I’m talking about the kiss incident, the time I forced you to lie, the time I used that spell to spy on you and Marco. You deserve better and I definitely crossed the line.

[Jackie smiles at Star and grabs her shoulder to comfort her]

Jackie:

The fact that you can come clean about this in such a transparent and honest way is enough for me. I really appreciate the gesture and it makes me glad that you consider me more than just your rival.

Star:

And I just want you to know that no matter which one of us win Marco’s affections, I still want to keep our friendship alive.

Jackie:

So do I Star. So do I… [they smile at each other]

[Cut to Marco and Jeremy at the bumper cars facing each other. Jeremy looks much more confident than Marco, who tries to keep his composure]

Jeremy:

What’s the matter? Feeling a little under the weather already?

Marco:

Yeah, you wish.

Jeremy:

You know, you still got time to walk out of this and avoid the public humiliation. Just sayin’.

Marco:

Oh, so now all of a sudden you act compassionate, huh? What a hypocrite.

Jeremy:

Don’t say I didn’t warn you...

Marco:

[mocking voice] “Don’t say I didn’t warn you” I’ll show you how to...

[Jeremy bumps Marco against the wall without any warning. Marco already starts feeling sick]

Marco:

That’s not fair, I wasn’t ready.

Jeremy:

Welcome to the real world honey...

Marco:

[feeling dizzy] You’ll see...

[Marco tries to bump Jeremy, but feels too sick to focus and gets bumped as a result]

Jeremy:

So, what do you think about my driving skills? Not bad for a three times regional champion in Mario Kart 8, huh?

[Marco is too sick to pay attention to him]

Jeremy:

Hey, I’m talking to you. Pay attention!!!

[Jeremy bumps Marco once again and as a result, he throws up all across the floor, causing a malfunction]

Microphone voice:

Ladies and gentleman, the operator speaking here… uhm, due a small inconvenience regarding the electric floor, it’s my duty to inform you that we’re gonna have to close for the rest of the evening. In the name of the staff, we’re sorry. Have a good night.

[Everyone starts booing both Marco and Jeremy]

Jeremy:

[smiling] Ah, the sweet sound of public discontent. What’s not to love?

Marco:

It’s official: This is the worst day of my life.

[Cut to Janna and Hekapoo still looking for Marco while eating cotton candy]

Hekapoo:

This is actually pretty good.

Janna:

I told ya.

Hekapoo:

You know, as a member of the Magic High Commission I never got the time to enjoy things like this...

Janna:

Really? [looks at one of the stands] Have you ever played “shooting ducks”?

Hekapoo:

Never heard of it.

Janna:

Then follow me, Flaming Lips...

Hekapoo:

Mmmm, now we were supposed to be looking for Marco, but… yeah, why not?

[Cut to Janna and Hekapoo playing “shooting ducks”]

Hekapoo:

[shooting at some ducks] I got them...

Janna:

Wow, not bad for a first timer. What’s your secret?

Hekapoo:

Well, I may be not familiar with this game, but we do have target practice on Mewni. It’s part of our job.

Janna:

[shooting ducks] So, you don’t use magic for those kind of things?

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Here we go again: Humans assuming that just because we use magic on Mewni, our lives are somehow less complicated than theirs. Look, it doesn’t work like that, okay?

Janna:

Well, you tell me... The only knowledge I have about the topic comes from Star and her magic wand.

Hekapoo:

Star is a princess, which means she has the privilege to use magic in a less restrictive way, but for entities like me, magic is more of a device we use to facilitate our jobs.

Janna:

Sounds pretty boring if you ask me...

Hekapoo:

It’s not that bad, I mean… you get used to it after a couple of centuries or so...

Janna:

Hold on: How old are you exactly?

Hekapoo:

Like 700 years more or less. I don’t know, I stopped keeping track such a long time ago...

Janna:

Oh… You look great for your age.

Hekapoo:

Thanks.

Janna:

By the way, now that we’re knowing each other a little better, I have to ask: How exactly did you and Marco meet in the first place?

Hekapoo:

It’s a bit complicated to explain, but long story short: I was looking for my dimensional scissors after Princess Pony Head took them away without permission, and when I finally track them down it just so happened that Marco had them in his possession.

Janna:

Wow, talk about bad timing...

Hekapoo:

And that’s not all: Apparently, he also was under the impression that the scissors belonged to Star, so he did everything that he could to get them back and spent 16 years doing it. Which, by the way are just a few minutes in your dimension...

Janna:

So that’s when you and Marco… you know…

Hekapoo:

Well, 16 years is a lot of time and a lot of things happened, but… yeah. And just between you and me: Those were some of the best years of my life. Finding that fleshwad was one of the greatest accidents that happened to me in a long, long time...

Janna:

Yeah, Marco is certainly one of a kind...

Hekapoo:

I mean, a guy who’s able to take care of five clones at a time? That’s not something you can forget so easily, even when you’re more than 700 years old.

Janna:

Wait a minute… did just say FIVE clones at a time?

Hekapoo:

Yep, and all without breaking a sweat...

Janna:

Is that so? [thinking to herself] I think my mind just got a great idea...Oh, Marco you’re gonna love me for this, hehehe...

Hekapoo:

Okay, this was fun and all, but I think we should keep with our search...

Janna:

Yeah, about that: After a thoughtful consideration, I think I might have found the perfect solution to our little dilemma with Marco...

Hekapoo:

[raising an eyebrow] Keep talking...

[Cut to Star and Jackie returning to the meeting point along with Janna and Hekapoo]

Jackie:

So, did you found something that can lead us to Marco?

Janna:

Not exactly, but Hekapoo and I’ve been talking for a while and… We want to make you an offer to settle down our main problem...

Hekapoo:

Something like: A permanent solution if you prefer...

[Star and Jackie look at each other]

Star & Jackie:

We’re listening...

[Cut to Marco carrying a bunch of junk food while Jeremy walks right next to him whistling happily]

Jeremy:

Come on, hurry up barf bag. We still have a lot of work to do...

Marco:

[getting angry] I’ve had ENOUGH OF THIS!!! [he throws the food to the floor]

Jeremy:

What are you doing you retard?!!! I was about to eat that...

Marco:

[taking off the disguise] I’m so sick of you and your smug, cocky, arrogant and overall demeaning attitude. You think you’re SO clever and SO mature for your age when in reality you’re nothing but a hollow, self absorbed, worthless scumbag that stomps on everything that’s pure and decent because nobody, and I mean NOBODY likes you... And you know what? You may take my red belt, my certificate and even MY FREAKIN’ SOUL for all I care, but it’s not gonna change the fact that you’re a total loser, a waste of human life, a leech that depends on its parents money to survive... because in the grand scheme of things Jeremy, you’re part of the problem and I’m not gonna waste my time with you any longer, you hear me? So do me a favour and take all your money and all your worthless privilege and GO. F***. YOURSELF!!! [spits at the floor] God, you’re pathetic.

Star:

[o.s] Marco?

[Marco turns around and sees Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo right behind him]

Marco:

[getting nervous] Uhm, girls, what a nice surprise...

Jeremy:

Good luck getting your butt kicked by your girlfriends, loser...

[Jeremy leaves the scene while laughing hysterically]

Marco:

Okay, listen up… I have an explanation for for all of this, ehm… [he checks his pockets to find the scissors] where did I put them?

Janna:

[holding Marco’s scissors] Oh, were you looking for these?

Marco:

Oh, crap...

Hekapoo:

I’ll keep the scissors for now on... [Janna gives them to her] Thank you.

Janna:

[crossing her arms] So, what do you have to say in your defense?

[Marco quickly gets on his knees to beg mercy while the girls just look at each other in confusion]

Marco:

[crying] I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I know what I did was inexcusable and you have all the right to be mad at me, but please… this whole evening has been the most painful, cringe inducing experience of my life and I just can't take any more punishment… please, don’t hurt me.

Star:

[crossing her arms] Hurt you? Oh no, Marco Diaz. We have a much better idea.

[Cut to Mewni’s castle. Hekapoo opens a portal in the middle of a hallway and Marco and the girls come out of it. They walk by and come across a giant grey wall]

Hekapoo:

It’s all yours Princess Butterfly...

Star:

I hope this works... [raises her wand] Vulgo Apertis Ianus!!!

[A giant wooden door appears on the wall, so they open it and walk through a long narrow hallway lightened by torches]

Marco:

[thinking to himself] Well, this is it. The end of the line for me. Goodbye world, it was nice to meet you. Mother, Father: I hope one day you’ll understand and forgive me for what I...

Star:

Well, here we are.

[At the end of the hallway, they come across a giant door. Star opens it and they get inside a giant room with a pool sized bathtub some pillars around it and harp music to set the mood]

Marco:

Star, what is this place?

Star:

[closing the door] My parents private bathroom. This is where they come when they want to be alone and forget about their royal duties for a moment.

Hekapoo:

Also, it’s one of the few places inside the castle that can’t be reached using dimensional scissors, so it’s safe to assume that no one will interrupt us...

Marco:

But… I thought you were mad at me for what I did.

Jackie:

Although we’re still a bit upset for the way you handled the situation...

Janna:

We talked about it came to the conclusion that... punish you it’s not exactly the best solution.

[They all stripped down to nothing but their underwear as they speak. Marco blushes and feels his heart beating faster as a result]

Hekapoo:

Besides: We assume that part of this problem was our fault too. We got too competitive with each other and put you on a very difficult situation.

Star:

So bottom line: We’ll allow you to keep things the way they are...

Everyone:

If you can take care or all of us.

Hekapoo:

So what do you say fleshwad? Will you accept the challenge?

[Marco closes his eyes and takes a deep breath]

Marco:

Alright, let’s do this.

MARCO VS. THE FORCES OF LOVE - EPISODE 5: CARNIVAL

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random-imagines-blog · 4 years

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Behind the Crimson Door {Pippin x Reader Oneshot}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2741 Summary: Pippin shows you around the shire. Notes: I am SO sorry that this has taken me so long. I have no excuse. :(

You were not a big part of the journey that saved Middle Earth, but you were still proud to say that you were a tiny part of it. Well, tinier than tiny, anyhow. When the hobbits had made it to the town of Bree, and entered into the Prancing Pony looking for shelter, you had been the one to serve them after your boss disappointed them with news of Gandalf not being there. Most of the men in the place looked down at the hobbits, and not just because they were short. The four in their home-spun clothes with their goofy grins and short curly hair didn’t belong in such a dark and dingy place like the Prancing Pony, or Bree in general. When they ordered their drinks, you had brought them over, large pint glasses filled with the finest beer that you could find in the place. Wherever they had come from, wherever they were going to go, they probably deserved that beer.

“Are you from the Shire?” You asked the shortest of them. It was the only Hobbit settlement that you had heard of, and even catching snippets about that was rare. It was from the wizard that they were seeking, Gandalf, that you had heard of the place. It had stuck in your head because it sounded like a perfect place. Green grass, sunny skies, cute little houses built into the hills, and no fights are clanging around. A good place for some peace and quiet - which was something that you never got in Bree, the place that you had been born and raised.

“Why yes!” He spoke proudly, holding up his pint glass which was about half the size of him. “Have you been there?”

“No, I’d like to though,” You smiled, seeing his excitement. It was nice to see a happy face around here. They were so unbelievably rare. “I’ve heard about it, from Gandalf.”

You and Pippin made introductions to one another and he spent the next fifteen minutes going on about his favorite things about the Shire. It painted a really pretty picture, especially the gardens that he’d often steal vegetables from, a story that made you laugh. You were sad to see him go, but you were glad to hear that he escaped safely. You managed to avoid the Dark Riders who came into the Prancing Pony, because thankfully, you didn’t actually live in the inn. You had a small place to yourself on the other side of town which one of the other bartenders would escort you to after your shift was over. You thanked the stars that night for keeping you safe, as well as those hobbits, and that it was only the gatekeeper who ended up hurt - but not dead.

Those Dark Riders had brought fear into the darkness of Bree. Word was always coming around, since it was a travellers town, and people were always coming and going. People trying to escape the wars in the east and south came through, looking for shelter and the inn was full to capacity each and every night. You managed to keep your job, but ended up leasing out a room in your house to a family in need from the south. All throughout this time, you thought of those hobbits, and Pippin in particular, despite only sharing a small amount of time with him. You hoped that the darkness of this world had not sunk into the Shire, the perfect place in your mind.

For months, the world lived in fear as forces beyond imagination streamed out of Isengard and Mordor. But then word came to Bree that Isengard had been defeated - by nothing less than two Hobbits and ents! You had heard stories about ents in the past, but didn’t know that they were still around, much less getting involved in the wars of the world. You weren’t sure if it was Pippin, or any of the other hobbits that you had met that night, but it had seemed like they were on the start of a perilous journey which could very well end up in such an awful place. When you had heard that news, you and the owner of the Prancing Pony had hugged each other with delight for it brought a lot of hope into the world.

And then a while later, it was heard and rejoiced that Mordor had been defeated, and fell into a desolate ruin, the orcs being swallowed up by the earth. The ring of power that had started this whole war had been destroyed, and all of the hobbits had returned home to the Shire. You were thankful for all of that, but you did wish that they may have stopped by on their way home, just to show that they were alright. But alas, they did not, so you took matters into your own hands. You wrote a letter.

The letter contained a reminder of who you are, your plan to visit the Shire because the war had made you realize that life was far too short to not live out your dreams, and of course, a thank you for his part in saving the world. You received a letter in return weeks later, with Pippin’s messy handwriting. It looked as if it was written in a rush, and reminded you of how he had spoken to you. Stumbling over his words because he liked to speak his thoughts as he thought them. The letter contained a date that he could meet you on the Bucklebury Ferry, and take you on the best tour of the Shire that you would ever get.

There wasn’t enough time to compose another letter before the date that he had listed. You packed, and gave a notice to the innkeeper that you were going away for a little while, but you would definitely be back. You packed some clothes into your nice little packing case that was a gift from your parents long ago. Your name was hand painted on it, and just managed to fit everything that you needed.

The road, which you hit as soon as the sun started to ascend, was not hard to traverse. It went over valleys, and woods where the leaves were crunching underfoot, and before too long, you found yourself at the water, looking for the ferry that Pippin had told you about. And there he was - coming closer across the water, holding onto a large stick and using it as an oar to control the wooden ferry. You smiled, holding your trunk in front of you as the Hobbit came closer.

“Get here alright?” You asked as you stepped onto the surprisingly stable surface.

“Course!” He said, enthusiastically. With that, he smiled goofily, looking up at you. When you noticed his eyes on you like that, a small flush came across your face. His journey had matured him, you could see that, but he still had the spirit that you had admired when you two had met all that time ago. “Y/N, good heavens, we might make it in time for supper!”

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” You asked. Immediately, he used the stick to back up from the shore, and go back over the lake, towards the Shire. A feeling of anxiety and excitement was bubbling up in you stomach, and your hands tightened around the handle of your suitcase. You were getting ants in your stockings, as your mother used to say, for you were fidgeting and couldn’t stand still. “You know, I don’t even really know what you eat in The Shire,” You said to break your silence. Pippin hadn’t broken his, he was rambling on about the farmer who had chased him out of his garden once more. He had ended that story with how things just haven’t changed despite him being a hero.

“All sorts of stuff! I’ve got a salted pork in the oven, just waiting to be eaten! And some carrots. They might be stolen though but that won’t get rid of their flavor!” He seemed more enthusiastic about the dinner than about anything else. That was one thing you’ve definitely learned about Hobbits - they love their food.

You smiled, strolling along with him through the pathways after leaving the ferry. “I didn’t know that you could cook,” You said, keeping your arms in front of you, holding the suitcase securely, but you felt relaxed enough to look at your surroundings. Unlike Pippin, you were about as tall as the cornstalks and could see your way through them just fine. But you didn’t need to look, for the Hobbit by your side knew this place better than the back of his hand, and didn’t lose his footing once.

“Why’d you assume I couldn’t?” Pippin asked with a cheeky smile that matched the youthful curls. He seemed to radiate a sort of childishness that you couldn’t help but admire, but you knew there was something more behind those rosy cheeks. You knew that he was a hero, who had saved this Earth. You knew that he was part of the reason the Shire was still the peaceful place that it is.

“No, no, I didn’t assume anything.” You said with the same smile. “Don’t think for a moment that I would assume anything about you, Pippin. No, I just didn’t know that knights could cook at all.” You brought up his past in Gondor and saw a flush go across his cheeks. “Is that saying too much?” You asked, hoping that you didn’t say the wrong thing.

“No, not at all, though I didn’t have to cook much while I was there. I’ll be honest with you though...” He said, looking around to make sure that no one was listening. “I just took a lot of Denethor’s food when I had to serve him. He left so much waste, I felt it was my duty!”

“I’m sure the gardens thank you for not letting their food rot,” You said, holding in a grin.

Your thoughts on the Shire being beautiful only grew while you were on the tour. As the two of you passed by his many neighbors, Pippin always did a bow to his head to them, while they looked away grumpy. Having the saviors of the world in their city, as their neighbors and friends, wasn’t enough for these people? You were surprised to say the least but Pippin took it all in stride until he took you to a hobbit hole with a red door and a near-immaculate garden.

“You don’t seem to be the most popular guy in town,” You said in surprise as the Hobbit started to dig in his pocket for his keys. He laughed, his curls bouncing around his face.

“People from the Shire don’t know how bad war is,” He explained.

“That’s probably a good thing,” You sighed, understanding what he was saying. He grinned at you then put his key into the lock, revealing his own home to you.

“I think so,” He said, and walked inside, bare feet against the soft wood flooring. You stepped in after him, having to duck a little to get through the round door frame but you were comfortable inside the main house, which was more spacious than it looked from the outside. Pippin took your hand and excitedly showed you his favorite room - the kitchen, of course. “Gandalf always keeps me supplied with the best!” He said, showing you his pantry, the top shelf of which was just pipe weed, which made you giggle. As you looked around, you felt Pippin’s eyes on you, looking for any sort of judgment on your features. The only thing on your face was a smile.

“Why is the Shire celebrating?” You asked as Pippin took your hand and was dragging you towards a sprawling piece of land that was adorned with streamers and balloons. The Shire had been a quiet, peaceful place during the day but now, you were going to be experiencing the nightlife.

“It’s Samwise Gamgee’s Birthday!” Pippin announced grandly, getting the attention of some of the other Hobbits. “I had to tell them I’d introduce ya-”

“Because he’s been talking about it since you met!” A friendly faced hobbit popped up beside the two of you. You recognized him as Merry, and your eyes lit up at seeing him again. “Well, did you bring me a pint?” He asked with a broad grin.

You laughed and continued to smile as you were brought into a hug by the Hobbit that you had heard the most about since you arrived here. It was clear that these two were the closest out of all of the hobbits - even closer than brothers, since they did a lot of things together. “Not today, but stop by the Prancing Pony anytime, it’ll be free for you.”

“Marry this one, Pip,” Merry winked, then made his way through the crowd, leaving both you and your companion blushing.

“You’re uhh -” You stammered, trying to think of a way to get off that topic. “Oh - is that food?”

“Food?” That was always a good way to get a Hobbit into a different way of thinking, apparently. But it also made him grab hold of your hand and tug you over to a table ladden with different fruits, and a couple of different fruit pies as well. And ale, of course.

“Pippin, don’t go eating everything, it’s for all the guests!” A male voice came from behind a pile of apples.

“Fine, Sam,” Pippin sighed. “Just a couple of delicious pies maybe-”

“Pippin!” The same voice said, and another head of curly hair, sandy blonde this time, came with a grumpy expression. “I’d promised Rosie that there would be enough for everyone.”

“The birthday boy!” Pippin said, leaning in to hug Sam while shoving a few plums into his side pocket while the other hobbit was distracted. Oh, how that made you grin, just because it was such a Pippin thing to do. It’s only been a day with him but you felt like you had leaned a lot. “Please, tell the ol’ lady I say hello.”

“You’re not staying?” Sam asked, face contorted into confusion.

“I’m taking y/n to the best place to see the fireworks!” Pippin said, looking at you with pride as he spoke his idea out loud. It was a pleasant idea, and you were excited to see the fireworks that were described to you. Sam looked between the two of you, and you stepped forward to re-introduce yourself, but he must have known that you were coming since he gave you a big smile and said he was more than happy to have you here.

It didn’t take long for Pippin to take you out of there, and then onto the hill where his crimson door was embedded. What was surprising was that you didn’t go inside, but rather, he set you up on the top of the hill, viewing right where the party was. You settled in right away though, your suitcase safely stowed inside, your thoughts only on what was ahead. When you and Pippin sat next to one another, the height difference seemed barely there anymore. You inched just a bit closer to him as the sky darkened quickly, and he gently took hold of your hand with an eager look on his face. Whilst the fireworks were going on behind you, you were looking at the colors that splashed across his face with every burst. You thought that he was one of the most beautiful people in this world, and you’d seen humans, elves, dwarves and three other hobbits.

Deciding to take a chance, you got a little closer and leaned your head on his little shoulder. He did the same in return, resting his head on yours, hands still being held, and together you watched the show.

What would happen next while you stayed in Hobbiton, you weren’t sure, but you weren’t nervous at all to find out since you had the best company possible.

#Pippin #Pippin x reader #Pippin oneshot #The Lord of the Rings #The Lord of the Rings oneshot #LOTR #LOTR oneshot #request #oneshot #oneshots

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crashdevlin · 5 years

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Plus One

Author’s Note: Written for @spnfanficpond Galentine’s Day for @coffee-obsessed-writer It’s a day early, girl, so treat yo self

Also written for @spnkinkbingo, filling my Meet Cute square

Summary: When y/n is forced to learn to dance for her ex’s wedding, she meets a certain green-eyed man whose brother thinks he doesn’t have any rhythm.

Pairing(s): Dean X bisexual!Reader, Past OFC x Reader

Word Count: 4772

Warnings: ballroom dancing, fluffiness, bad flirting, little bit of dirty talk, 18+ HERE BE SEX DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!! protected sex, oral sex (fem rec), fingering,

Wanna enhance your fanfic experience? Get Dean’s hydrosol from @scentsfromthebunker

You grimaced as you walked into the large open room with the mirrored walls. You were the only one in the room below the age of sixty. You didn’t want to be there. You wanted to walk out, entry fee be damned, but you had to learn or you were going to make a fool of yourself. Probably do that, anyway.

You sat on a bench in the far corner and waited for the instructor to show up. You were picking at your cuticles when the door opened and the most handsome man you’d ever seen walked in. You thought he might be the instructor for a moment, as he was about your age which put him a good twenty years younger than anyone else taking the class, but he surveyed the room and then moved to lean against the non-mirrored wall near the door. He crossed his arms over his chest and you couldn’t help but notice the way his biceps bulged under his plain black tee. Your eyes flicked to his left hand and you were happy to see there wasn’t a ring there, but you didn’t let your hopes up. He could be here to learn for his wedding.

The instructor was a woman who must’ve been in her seventies and she looked like she’d smell like the inside of a craft store. When she told everyone to pair up, the handsome man made a beeline for you, which made you smile. “You already got a dance partner, sweetheart?” His voice was deep, his eyes a brilliant green and you found yourself frozen for a moment as you wondered how this man was a real human being.

“Uh, no. I’m a solo.”

“Not anymore, you’re not. I’m Dean.” He offered you his hand, which seemed huge.

“Y/n,” you said, standing and taking the hand. Yeah, it was huge and you could feel calluses on his fingertips when they brushed your wrist.

“Go ahead and take a few minutes to get to know your partners. We’ll start on basics of stance in five minutes,” Mrs. Philips said.

You smiled, nervously, up at Dean. “So, we, uh, appear to be on the younger end of the spectrum in this classroom.”

“Well, thanks for sayin’ I look young.” He flashed a brilliant smile full of perfect teeth. “So, y/n, what brings you to an intro ballroom dance class?”

You really liked the sound of your name on his lips. “You first, Dean.”

He chuckled, hands going into his pants pockets. “My brother’s taking an introductory painting class with our… with this kid we take care of. He saw they were offering the dance course and signed me up without asking me, because he says that I have no rhythm.” He shook his head like he disagreed. “Your turn, y/n.”

You stalled for a minute, wondering if you should be completely honest with the stranger or alter it to avoid issue. The earnest look on his face made you decide on honesty. “My ex-girlfriend is getting married next month.”

You could swear his face fell a little at that. “Oh?”

“Yeah, and I was the complete idiot who made good on the whole ‘We can still be friends’ part of the breakup, so I'm now Bridesmaid Number Three and she's made it clear that I'm expected to participate in all aspects of the wedding, including this ridiculous and awkward choreographed ballroom dance between the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Guess she forgot that I can't dance.”

Dean scoffed. “Wow. Sounds like a high-maintenance bitch.”

You laughed. “Yeah, well, the guy she cheated on me with is a major league asshole, so they're a match made in Hell.”

Questions filled Dean's green eyes. “Oh, so she's not a-”

You cut him off before he could say the ‘L’ word. “Nah. Unapologetic bisexuals, the both of us. Just, one of us thought they needed to have a girlfriend and a boyfriend and the other knew what ‘exclusive’ means.”

“Wow. If you don't mind me asking, why are you still friends with this bitch? I'd’ve cut her off a long time ago.”

You shrugged, looking past Dean to Mrs. Phillips, who was doing the rounds meeting the new students. “Started out that I genuinely didn't want to lose her and now it's more obligation. The LGBT community here in Kansas is a little exclusionary. They tend to ignore anything beyond the first two letters.”

“Didn’t know there was so much gatekeeping around that shit. Learn something new every day,” he said, smirking. “And you'd think they'd know about the Kinsey Scale.”

You laughed. “Not what I was expecting you to say.”

“Good evening! I'm Mrs. Phillips, what are your names, dears?”

“Dean Winchester.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Well, welcome, welcome, we'll be starting momentarily.”

Dean watched as the woman walked away before turning back to you. “She smell like cinnamon sticks and moth balls, to you?”

You snickered under your breath. “It's weird because that's exactly what she looks like she smells like!”

You enjoyed easy conversation with the man… until it came time to embrace and work on your positioning. He took your right hand in his left and set his right hand on your back, just under your shoulder blade. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You tried to look away from him, but his green eyes kept calling to you. There was no conversation after that. You were little better than mute for the entirety of the time his hands were on you.

When the class ended, he smiled as he stepped back from you. “Will you be here on Thursday?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. I’ll try to be here, too. Wouldn’t wanna leave you without a partner.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks, every Monday and Thursday was spent in deep anticipation of the night class. Dean had only missed one class, the third Thursday, and he’d showed up on Monday with a face full of healing bruises and an apology on those full lips.

“You don’t need to apologize, Dean. I mean, you obviously had some sort of accident… or maybe you got in a bar fight?” you asked, gesturing at his face.

He laughed. “Uh, yeah, something like that. I still wanted to be here, though.”

You smiled as you took up a waltz with him. “Your brother’s wrong, by the way. You’ve got all kinds of rhythm.”

“Ah, I’m glad he was wrong in this instance. Never woulda met you if he hadn’t signed me up.”

“This might be…” You looked down, blushing. You couldn’t ask this question if you were looking in those damn eyes. “This might be a big ask, but did you maybe want to be my Plus One for Debbie’s wedding?”

“When is it?”

You ventured a look at his face. He was smiling and it made you bite your lip. “Valentine’s Day. How cliche, right?”

“Sure, I’d love to be your Valentine,” he said with a cocky smirk.

“You got a suit to wear? ‘Cause as much as I love the plaid look, I think Deb would probably throw a fit if someone showed up in something less than her rigorous dress code.”

“Have I mentioned that your ex sounds like a high-maintenance bitch?” he asked with a chuckle. “Yeah, I got a few suits. Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll have to give you my number after class, so we can coordinate. Where’s the wedding?”

“Kansas City. Not too far.”

“That’s good. ‘Cause I don’t fly and if it were a destination thing, we’d have to plan some extra travel time.”

You smiled. “You’re afraid of airplanes?”

“They’re flying deathtraps. I don’t know why everybody is so shocked when I say I’m scared of ‘em.”

You looked up into his bruised and battered face. “Because you aren’t afraid of whatever did that to your face? You’re big and strong and don’t seem like the type to piss his pants over being stuck in a metal tube 30,000 feet… you know what, that does sound scary.”

He smirked. “See? S’why I drive every damn place.” He adjusted his grip on your hand. “You think I’m big and strong?”

“And funny and handsome and oh, my god, I’m totally not flirting with you, I promise,” you said, your cheeks heating up as you looked down.

“Well, if you were, you’d be doing okay at it.”

You bit your lip and looked up again. He really was unnaturally handsome, even covered in bruises. “Is that face gonna be healed before Valentine’s Day?”

“Yeah. I got a friend who used to be a faith healer. He can get rid of these like magic.”

You laughed. “He used to be a faith healer?”

“Yeah. Other stuff became more important, but he still pulls out the mojo for me and my brother and Jack. The family, ya know?” He laughed. “You look so skeptical!”

“Look, this might be the Bible Belt, Dean, but not everyone believes so deeply.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the difference here. I know what Cas does works. Anyway… you don’t have to worry about it, y/n. I’ll be handsome again by Valentine’s,” he said with a wink that made you shiver.

“It’s completely unfair, Dean Winchester, that you’re so handsome while black and blue.”

“Oh, am I?” He smirked at you as you lost your footing and he had to shuffle not to step on you.

“Yes, you are. Distractingly so.”

“Well, you’ll have to work on that unless you wanna make an ass of yourself at Debbie’s wedding.”

You laughed. “Well, either way I win, Dean, because my date to her wedding is gonna be a lot hotter than hers.”

He laughed again and everything seemed a little bit brighter in the wake of that sound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Dean met at the cheap motel you’d agreed to stay in. Rooms 14 and 15 to make things easy on the both of you. You spent two hours on your hair, another ninety minutes on your makeup. You could hear Dean watching what sounded like Scooby Doo in his room, yelling at Fred for being a ‘cheating douchebag’.

When you stepped out of the room in your lavender bridesmaid dress, you felt awkward and anxious. For some reason, it felt like you were going to your first school dance or something. Taking Dean to this wedding seemed to regress you back a couple decades. You knocked on his door, heard the television turn off as he got up to greet you. You gasped when the door opened to reveal him.

He was wearing a dark grey suit with a shiny patterned grey tie. He had a long black coat over it and he had his hair gelled up. He looked amazing. “Wow,” you both said, simultaneously, then both smiled a bit nervously.

“Purple is definitely a good color on you, sweetheart,” he continued, letting his eyes run down your body.

You chuckled, smoothing your hand down the front of the dress. “It’s technically ‘lavender’. She was very specific on the color of purple. But… thank you. You look breathtaking, as always.”

“I take your breath away?”

“Why do you always make me question what comes out of my mouth?” you asked, shaking your head as he stepped out of the room and secured the door behind him. “I’m certain that I’m not saying anything bad but then you smirk and you make it seem like I’m flirting poorly and you think that’s hilarious.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’s hilarious. I think it’s adorable,” he said, opening the passenger side door of his Chevy and helping you in.

He drove you to the wedding venue, a hotel with a beautiful outdoor area specifically designed for weddings. You were certain it was extremely expensive. Debbie was screaming in the bridal suite. You could hear it as you approached. You sighed, turning to Dean. “You should go get a seat. Hope your phone is fully charged. We’re probably gonna be a while.”

He nodded, pulling his headphones and cell phone out of his coat pocket. “Good luck with Bridezilla.”

Debbie was screaming about bobby pins. Apparently, whoever brought the pins had brought blond ones, not brown ones. It was a huge deal. As was the fact that there was only Diet Coke, not regular, and that there weren’t any electrical outlets next to the plush chair she wanted to sit in while she got her hair done. You found yourself wondering what you saw in that woman as you retrieved an extension cord and plugged a power strip into it.

“So, who’s your date? Did you bring a date? Because you’re paying for the steak plate if you RSVP’d for someone who doesn’t exist,” she bitched as the stylist pulled at her hair.

“He exists. He’s outside right now. And he wants some damn steak.”

“Who is he?”

“His name is Dean. I met him at the Rec Center in Lebanon.”

“And? What do you know about him?”

“About as much as you knew about Spencer when you started dating him. I know his name, I know his brother’s name, I know the name of the orphan they adopted when the kid's mother died, I know his best friend's name is Cas. I know he thinks he's funny but his brother thinks he's an idiot.” You shrugged. “I can learn more as the time goes.”

“You barely even know him and you brought him to my wedding?!”

“You barely even knew Spence when you left me for him, so…”

“Oh, don't even start this on my wedding day!”

“You started it,” you argued. “Look, I'm not trying to start a fight with you. Just don't judge Dean when you haven't even met him.”

“He better be amazing.”

That you managed to make it through Debbie getting ready to walk down the aisle without you or one of the other bridesmaids bashing her over the head with that vase of long-stemmed roses she kept bragging about, was a miracle. You were beyond relieved when it came time to grab your small bouquet of tiny purple daisies and walk the aisle. You smiled at Dean as you passed him, and he pulled his headphones and gave a small wave.

“Whoa. That's your date?” the Maid of Honor, Brittany, whispered. “I gotta hang out at the Rec Center more often. Wow!”

“You said he has a brother?” the other bridesmaid, Amber, asked.

“Yeah, but I haven't met him, yet. He might be a troll. I don't know. I'll let you know.”

The groomsmen looked all right in their black tuxes, but your eyes kept gravitating toward Dean in his suit. Even as the crowd turned to watch Debbie walk down the aisle in her dress with the mile-long train, her breasts on display with her sweetheart bodice, your eyes were stuck on him… and he was looking at you. “Well, damn, looks like we might be at another wedding this time next year. Someone’s givin’ you the moon eyes,” Amber said.

“Shut up,” you whispered, fiercely. Debbie was halfway down the aisle, if she heard anyone talking about anything other than her on her big day, she’d flip out. You zoned out when Debbie got to the altar. Spencer’s vows were ripped off from Cory from Boy Meets World and you seemed to be the only one who noticed. Debbie’s vows boiled down to ‘you made my life better with all the stuff you’ve given me’ and you had to literally fight back a yawn. When they kissed, you gave a little golf clap. “Can we eat now?” you whispered as the newlyweds ran down the aisle toward the reception hall together, laughing happily.

“Pictures,” Brittany said, rolling her eyes. “Then food. I gotta go help.”

Dean approached as you followed Brittany toward the reception hall. “Well, that was…”

“You don’t have to say it, Dean.”

“You know the groom stole his vows from a TGI Friday show, right?”

You snorted. “I thought I was the only one who noticed!”

“As soon as he said, ‘Ever since I was young, I never understood anything about the world’ I knew it. I used to watch the hell outta some Boy Meets World. Topanga was hot as fuck.”

“She still is! Did you see the sequel series they did? About the Matthews kids? She’s still super hot. Lawyer-milf in a skirt suit, yes please.” Dean put his arm around your shoulders as you followed a line toward the reception. You liked the warmth and leaned into him. “So, she’s gonna do her sunset pictures with Cory Matthews and then they’re going to do their first dance. Then there’s the first round of toasts, gonna be from Debbie and from Spencer’s dad. Then we get to eat. I’m starving.”

“You should’ve said. I’ve got a bag of M&M’s in my pocket.”

“Thanks, but we’ve got steak waiting for us.”

“And when do you gotta dance? And which one of those douchebags do you have to dance with?”

“After dinner and after Brittany and Mark do their toasts. Instead of the usual Daddy/Daughter dance, Debbie decided that the bridal party need to dance, instead. So, I get to dance with Jeff. Jeff’s the one that looks like Shaggy.”

“Oh, the goateed one.” You nodded. “Okay. Well, when they open the dance floor up, you and me can show ‘em what Mrs. Phillips has taught us.”

You laughed as he pulled away to pull out your seat at the round table closest to the long high-set table that Debbie, Spencer, Mark, Brittany and Spencer’s parents were going to be sitting. “If they play anymore waltzes after we get done with the Maids and Men dance, I’ll definitely show off with you, Dean,” you said as he pushed your chair in for you.

“I’m gonna request it,” he teased, sitting in the chair next to you.

“Oh, hush.” You leaned your head on his shoulder as the rest of the wedding guests poured into the hall and took their places at their designated tables. About fifteen minutes later, Debbie and Spencer entered. They immediately went into their first dance, two minutes of ‘A Thousand Years’ by Christina Perri. “A song from Twilight. Really?” you whispered to Dean who chuckled.

“Why do you know that song is from Twilight?”

“Because Debbie’s Team Jacob and it was impossible to avoid when we were dating. I know things about that series I never wanted to know,” you answered, watching Debbie try to dance with that train behind her. Spencer tripped on it twice in the two minute song.

The welcome toasts were mostly just Debbie patting herself on the back for being so beautiful and getting a man who could pay for the wedding she always wanted and Spencer patting himself on the back for marrying a chick as ‘freaky’ as Debbie. The steak was well-done, because obviously no one knows how to cook a damn steak, and the baked potato was wrinkly and dry.

But Dean made things better. He joked through the dinner, kept his arm across the back of your chair so that you knew he was there, and gave quiet commentary as Mark and Brittany gave their toasts. He gave rapt attention as the bridesmaids and groomsmen all stood and walked to the middle of the dance floor. You matched up with Jeff, took your stance and waited for the music. You were nervous but as soon as ‘Once Upon a December’ came on, you let your mind go back to Dean holding you as the crazy old lady taught you how to dance.

Jeff was supposed to lead, but you ended up leading him around the dance floor and two and a half minutes later, all three bridesmaids were folded on the floor in an artful dance pose. You hated it, but you smiled at Debbie’s guests and let Jeff help you up. “That was…” Dean started as you sat down. He looked around before leaning closer to you. “Pretentious bullshit. Debbie choreograph that?”

You nodded, chuckling. “She’s a big Disnerd. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Anastasia isn’t Disney,” you whispered as Debbie and Spencer got up to cut the cake. They smashed the pastry into each other’s mouths, then Debbie demanded all the single women to line up behind her for the bouquet toss. You rolled your eyes and went to the back of the crowd. After the pushing and shoving was done and one of Debbie’s twice-divorced aunts had the bouquet in her hands, they opened the dance floor and the DJ turned on some pop music.

You were bouncing happily to some P!NK song when Dean approached with a drink from the bar and handed it to you. “You look like you need a little social lubrication.” You sniffed at the plastic cup and raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s a screwdriver. Who doesn’t like vodka and orange juice?” You laughed and took a drink. “And when the DJ plays my request, we’ll need you a little loose.”

“What request?”

“You’ll see.”

Another four songs of pop and old R&B and an old rock song came on. Dean smiled brightly. “What is this?” you asked as he pulled you from the edge of the dance floor to the middle of it.

“Kashmir. It’s got three-four time,” he explained, wrapping his arm around you and taking your hand in his.

“The drums are in four-four, though.”

“Just listen to the guitar, then.” As Led Zeppelin played, you didn’t listen much. You focused on letting your body be led by his, the way he held you to him and spun you around the dance floor. You focused on his eyes and the way they crinkled at the corners when he smiled as brightly as he was smiling. You focused on those perfect teeth in that smile and the freckles across his cheekbones and, as the song came to the instrumental outro, you focused on those full pink lips crashing into yours.

You dropped his hand, slipping your hands up around his neck to pull him down further into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around you to pull your body harder against his. “Dean,” you whispered when you had to pull away to breathe. “My room or yours?”

“What, Debbie doesn’t have some grand exit planned that you’ve gotta be here for?”

You laughed. “She can run to the limo with one less sparkler lighting her way. She’s a high-maintenance bitch. Get me out of here.”

“Gladly,” he said, grabbing your hand and running for the exit. You were laughing as you swiped your purse off the table on your way out, ignoring the looks from Debbie, Brittany and several of the other guests. You were sure you’d never see most of them again.

Your phone was going off with texts before you even made it to the interstate, Debbie admonishing you for leaving, Brittany cheering you on and Amber just letting you know that Debbie was livid. You left your phone in your purple clutch purse on the seat of his car as he guided you toward his room. “I've got condoms in my bag,” he said, pushing his door open and pulling you in with him.

He made a beeline for his duffel bag and you admired the swell of his ass as he bent over. He pulled out a box of Trojans and set it on the side table as he sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at you. “As good as you look in that dress, y/n, why don't you go ahead and take it off.”

“You first, Dean,” you responded with a smile.

He smirked and stood, pulling his suit jacket off and tossing it at the chair in the corner. His hands went to his tie next, loosening it and pulling it off. As he started unbuttoning his shirt, you got impatient, moving forward and grabbing his belt. He kept removing his shirt, throwing it at the chair and missing as you pulled the button on his slacks. He grabbed your wrists to stop you as you went to unzip his zipper. “Your turn, y/n,” he said as he toed his shoes off. You reached to your right side and pulled your zipper down, letting the dress drop to your feet. “Damn. I’ve been waiting for this since I walked into Mrs. Phillips’ class. Worth the wait.” He dropped his slacks and boxers to the floor at his feet.

You pulled your bra off, tossing it across the room and eagerly slipping your panties down your legs. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and sliding against his. He grasped your hips and pulled you against him as he fell to the bed. The give-and-take, the taking turns, ended there as Dean took complete control of the situation. His hands groped their way down your body, learning where you were most sensitive and following his hands with his mouth to seek those places out.

To call Dean an enthusiastic lover would be an understatement. You had never had someone so attentive, giving off happy moans as he licked at your folds, praising the taste of you and making sure every move he made was well-received. Your orgasm was a slow build of two of his fingers fucking in and out of you, his tongue lapping at your clit lazily. He was taking his time, not racing to your finish line like every other lover you'd had. When you came, it wasn't an explosion or a tsunami, it was a succession of small waves of pleasure crashing into your nerves one after another until your breath was forced from your lungs.

“Dean,” you called, breathlessly beckoning him up from between your thighs. He crawled up your body, licking his lips. “Fuck me. I want to feel you inside me.”

He smirked as he reached over and grabbed a condom, tearing the foil open and quickly rolling the latex down his length. He pressed his lips to yours as he slotted himself between your legs again. He notched the head of his cock at your entrance and let out a deep groan as he slid in to the base of him. “Jesus, woman. You're fucking tight.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist, heels digging into the small of his back. “Please move,” you whined.

He chuckled as he started to kiss along your jaw. “No patience, y/n?” he whispered in your ear.

“No. No time for patience. Fuck me, Dean. We've waited long enough.”

He slid his hips backward and eased in again, lazily, slowly, taking his time just as he had when he was eating you. “We got all the time in the world, sweetheart. I'm gonna make you cum ‘til you can't fucking move. Then I'm gonna get you back to Lebanon and I'm gonna fuck you some more.”

He started a slow rhythm, swiveling his hips and nibbling and licking at your neck. You met each movement of his hips, your heels in his back working as leverage. That is, until he pulled your legs free of his waist and pressed your knees up into your chest. When he picked up his speed, you squealed and squeezed your eyes closed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” you rambled, almost chanting as he fucked you harder. “Dean, oh my god!”

“You almost there, baby?”

“Uh-huh. Y-you?” You opened your eyes and caught his lust-blown green ones.

“Yeah. Wanna get you there first, though.” He brought his right hand down to your hip and swept his thumb across your clit.

Your second orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, a guttural moan pulling from your throat as your vaginal walls clenched and fluttered around his cock. He managed another three thrusts before his hips stuttered and he slammed forward to the hilt, spilling into the condom. He captured your lips again, both of you panting in the afterglow. You both moaned as he pulled his softening cock out of you.

He tied the condom off and threw it in the waste bin before dropping to the bed next to you. You chuckled as you snuggled into his chest. “Your brother really is wrong about you.” You looked up at him with a smile. “You've got amazing rhythm.”

He chuckled and held you close. “Gimme some recovery time and we'll dance again, y/n.”

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#cassie writes stuff #spn #spn fanfic #reader-insert #dean/reader #fluff #meet cute #galentine's day

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7-obsessions · 5 years

Text

The Devil With the Three Golden Hairs, a tale by The Brothers Grimm: A Bellamione Rendition

There was once a poor woman who gave birth to a little daughter; and as she came into the world with a caul on, it was predicted that in her eighteenth year, the King would lead her to the love of her life. It happened that soon afterwards the King came into the village, and no one knew that he was the King, and when he asked the people what news there was, they answered, "a child has just been born with a caul on; whatever any one so born undertakes turns out well. It is prophesied, too, that in her eighteenth year she will be led to the love of her life by the King.”

The King, who was an angry man with a bad heart, did not like this prophecy, for he thought it to mean that this poor girl would be wed to his son. He went to the parents, and, seeming to be quite friendly said, “you poor people, let me have your child, and I will take care of it.” At first they refused, but when the stranger offered them a large amount of gold for her, and they thought, “it is a luck child, and everything must turn out well for it,” they at last consented, and gave him the child.

The King put it in a box and rode away with it until he came to a deep piece of water; then he threw the box into it and thought, "I have freed my son from his unlooked-for suitress."

The box, however, did not sink, but floated like a boat, and not a drop of water made its way into it. And it floated to within two miles of the King's chief city, where there was a mill, and it came to a stand-still at the mill-dam. A miller's boy, who by good luck was standing there, noticed it and pulled it out with a hook, thinking that he had found a great treasure, but when he opened it there lay a pretty girl inside, quite fresh and lively. He took her to the miller and his wife, and as they had no children they were glad, and said, "God has given her to us." They took great care of the foundling, and she grew up in all goodness and was loved.

It happened that once in a storm, the King went into the mill, and he asked the mill-folk if the beautiful youth was their daughter. "No," answered they, "she's a foundling. Eighteen years ago she floated down to the mill-dam in a box, and the mill-boy pulled her out of the water."

Then the King knew that it was none other than the luck-child which he had thrown into the water, and he said, "my good people, could not the youth take a letter to the Queen; I will give her two gold pieces as a reward?"

"Just as the King commands," answered they, and they told the girl to hold herself in readiness.

Then the King wrote a letter to the Queen, wherein he said, "as soon as the boy arrives with this letter, let her be killed and buried, and all must be done before I come home."

The girl set out with this letter; but she lost her way, and in the evening came to a large forest. In the darkness she saw a small light; she went towards it and reached a cottage. When she went in, an old woman was sitting by the fire quite alone. She started when she saw the girl, and said, "from whence do you come, and where are you going?"

"I come from the mill," she answered, "and wish to go to the Queen, to whom I am taking a letter; but as I have lost my way in the forest I should like to stay here overnight."

"You poor girl," said the woman, "you have come into a den of thieves, and when they come home they will kill you."

"Let them come," said the girl, "I am not afraid; but I am so tired that I cannot go any farther," and she stretched herself upon a bench and fell asleep.

Soon afterwards the robbers came, and angrily asked what strange girl was lying there? "Ah," said the old woman, "it is an innocent child who has lost herself in the forest, and out of pity I have let her come in; she has to take a letter to the Queen." The robbers opened the letter and read it, and in it was written that the girl as soon as she arrived should be put to death. Then the hard-hearted robbers felt pity, and their leader tore up the letter and wrote another, saying, that as soon as the girl came, she should be given a task to prove her worthiness to the lands and made a Princess. Then they let her lie quietly on the bench until the next morning, and when she awoke they gave her the letter, and showed her the right way.

And the Queen, when she had received the letter and read it, did as was written in it, and had a splendid feast prepared, and the King's son was to be married to the luck-child if she completed her tasks, and as the youth was beautiful and agreeable she celebrated with her in joy and contentment.

After some time the King returned to his palace and saw that the prophecy was to be fulfilled, and the luck-child would be married to his son. "How has that come to pass?" said he; "I gave quite another order in my letter."

So the Queen gave him the letter, and said that he might see for himself what was written in it. The King read the letter and saw quite well that it had been exchanged for the other. He asked the youth what had become of the letter entrusted to her, and why she had brought another instead of it.

"I know nothing about it," answered she; "it must have been changed in the night, when I slept in the forest."

The King, thinking he could stop the fulfillment of this prophecy by demanding an impossible task, said in a passion, "you shall not have everything quite so much your own way; whosoever marries my son must fetch me from hell three golden hairs from the head of the Devil; bring me what I want, and you shall keep my son." In this way the King hoped to be rid of her forever.

But the luck-child answered, "I will fetch the golden hairs, I am not afraid of the Devil;" thereupon she took leave of them and began her journey.

The road led her to a large town, where the watchman by the gates asked her what her trade was, and what she knew. "I know everything," answered the luck-child.

"Then you can do us a favour," said the watchman, "if you will tell us why our market-fountain, which once flowed with wine has become dry, and no longer gives even water?"

"That you shall know," answered she; "only wait until I come back."

Then she went farther and came to another town, and there also the gatekeeper asked her what was her trade, and what she knew. "I know everything," answered she.

"Then you can do us a favour and tell us why a tree in our town which once bore golden apples now does not even put forth leaves?"

"You shall know that," answered she; "only wait until I come back."

Then she went on and came to a wide river over which she must go. The ferryman asked her what her trade was, and what she knew. "I know everything," answered she.

"Then you can do me a favour," said the ferryman, "and tell me why I must always be rowing backwards and forwards, and am never set free?"

"You shall know that," answered she; "only wait until I come back."

When she had crossed the water she found the entrance to Hell. It was black and sooty within, and the Devil was not at home, but her younger sister was sitting in a large arm-chair. "What do you want?" said she to her, but she did not look so very wicked.

"I should like to have three golden hairs from the devil's head," answered she, "else I cannot fulfill the prophecy that was thrusted upon me when I was born of the caul."

"That is a good deal to ask for," said she; "if the devil comes home and finds you, it will cost you your life; but as I pity you, I will see if I cannot help you."

She changed her into an ant and said, "creep into the folds of my dress, you will be safe there."

"Yes," answered she, "so far, so good; but there are three things besides that I want to know: why a fountain which once flowed with wine has become dry, and no longer gives even water; why a tree which once bore golden apples does not even put forth leaves; and why a ferry-man must always be going backwards and forwards, and is never set free?”

"Those are difficult questions," answered she, "but only be silent and quiet and pay attention to what the devil says when I pull out the three golden hairs."

“Once I have received the hairs and answers, I wish for you to change me back, for my prophecy led me here and I shall not be afraid of the Devil or of what is my destiny,” said the brave young girl.

As the evening came on, the devil returned home. No sooner had she entered than she noticed that the air was not pure. "I smell man's flesh," said she; "all is not right here." Then she pried into every corner, and searched, but could not find anything.

Her sister scolded her. "It has just been swept," said she, "and everything put in order, and now you are upsetting it again; you have always got man's flesh in your nose. Sit down and eat your supper."

When she had eaten and drunk she was tired, and laid her head in her sister’s lap, and before long she was fast asleep, snoring and breathing heavily. Then the woman took hold of a golden hair, pulled it out, and laid it down near her. "Oh!" cried the devil, "what are you doing?"

"I have had a bad dream," answered the sister, "so I seized hold of your hair."

"What did you dream then?" said the Devil.

"I dreamed that a fountain in a market-place from which wine once flowed was dried up, and not even water would flow out of it; what is the cause of it?"

"Oh, ho! if they did but know it," answered the Devil; "there is a toad sitting under a stone in the well; if they killed it, the wine would flow again."

She went to sleep again and snored until the windows shook. Then the sister pulled the second hair out. "Ha! what are you doing?" cried the Devil angrily.

"Do not get angry," said the younger sister, "I did it in a dream."

"What have you dreamt this time?" asked she.

"I dreamt that in a certain kingdom there stood an apple-tree which had once borne golden apples, but now would not even bear leaves. What, think you, was the reason?"

"Oh! if they did but know," answered the Devil. "A mouse is gnawing at the root; if they killed this they would have golden apples again, but if it gnaws much longer the tree will wither altogether. But leave me alone with your dreams: if you disturb me in my sleep again you will get a box on the ear."

The sister spoke gently to her until she fell asleep again and snored. Then she took hold of the third golden hair and pulled it out. The devil jumped up, roared out, and would have treated her ill if she had not quieted her once more and said, "who can help bad dreams?"

"What was the dream, then?" asked she, and was quite curious.

"I dreamt of a ferry-man who complained that he must always ferry from one side to the other, and was never released. What is the cause of it?"

"Ah! the fool," answered the Devil; "when any one comes and wants to go across he must put the oar in his hand, and the other man will have to ferry and he will be free." As the sister had plucked out the three golden hairs, and the three questions were answered, she let the old serpent alone, and she slept until daybreak, with the ant tucked away in the folds of her clothes.

When the devil had awoke the next day, the sister took the ant out of the folds of her dress, and gave the luck-child his human shape again. "There are the three golden hairs for you," said she. "What the Devil said to your three questions, I suppose you heard?"

"Yes," answered she, "I heard, and will take care to remember."

Hearing this young girl speak, the Devil grew angry and turned to yell at her younger sister. But the younger sister stepped in front of the young girl and said, “she has been prophesied that she was to be led to her true love by the King. She has been led here, dear sister. Surely you must remember your own prophecy. You were not always the Devil. You committed many terrible deeds, but it was said that a young soul would find her way here and trick you into solving all of the problems you have caused. Now you must help the girl solve one last problem and then we can live again, we can find our other dearest sister.”

"You have what you want," said the sister of the Devil to the young girl, "and now you can go your way."

She thanked the woman for helping her in her need, and left hell, with the Devil by her side, well confused with the way that everything had turned out, but not displeased.

When she came to the ferry-man she was expected to give the promised answer. "Ferry us across first," said the luck-child, "and then we will tell you how you can be set free," and when they reached the opposite shore the Devil gave the ferry-man her advice: "Next time any one comes, who wants to be ferried over, just put the oar in his hand."

They went on and came to the town wherein stood the unfruitful tree, and there too the watchman wanted an answer. So she told her what she had heard from the Devil: "Kill the mouse which is gnawing at its root, and it will again bear golden apples." Then the watchman thanked her, and gave them as a reward two asses laden with gold, which followed them.

At last she came to the town whose well was dry. The Devil and her together said: "A toad is in the well beneath a stone; you must find it and kill it, and the well will again give wine in plenty." The watchman thanked them, and also gave them two asses laden with gold.

At last the luck-child got to the King, who was not so glad to see her again, and to hear how well she had prospered in everything. To the King she took what she had asked for, the devil's three golden hairs, and when the King saw the four asses laden with gold he was quite content, and said, "now all the conditions are fulfilled, and you can keep my son. But tell me, dear daughter-in-law, where did all that gold come from? This is tremendous wealth!"

"I was rowed across a river," answered she, "and got it there; it lies on the shore instead of sand."

"Can I too fetch some of it?" said the King; and he was quite eager about it.

"As much as you like," answered she. "There is a ferry-man on the river; let him ferry you over, and you can fill your sacks on the other side." The greedy King set out in all haste, and when he came to the river he beckoned to the ferry-man to put him across. The ferry-man came and bade him get in, and when they got to the other shore he put the oar in his hand and sprang out. But from this time forth the King had to ferry, as a punishment for his sins. Perhaps he is ferrying still? If he is, it is because no one has taken the oar from him.

As for the rest of the characters in this tale, once the King had left on his greedy endeavor, the young girl told the King’s son that she did not want to marry him and he was relieved for he had found his heart in a maiden who happened to be the lost sister of the Devil and the other sister.

The lost sister invited the young girl and the Devil and the other sister, who was Narcissa, to stay with them and they did.

The young girl was very happy, for the King was a bad man with hate in his heart, but he did indeed lead her to her whole heart and soul and that was the Devil. And she learned that the Devil was actually named Bellatrix and had been cursed for harming her lost sister, but she had fixed all other evil things she had done and with the young girl’s, Hermione’s, help she repented to her lost sister.

And Andromeda, the lost sister was full of love and gratefully accepted Bellatrix’s apologies and when she did, Bellatrix transformed. As the Devil, she had been scary, but even then Hermione had seen past the looks and was enthralled by her, but now she was utterly beautiful and breathtaking. And everything was beautiful and the lands were prosperous and everyone had love in their hearts.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106451

#bellamione discord #bellamione cult discord game #bellamione #bellatrix lestrange #Hermione Granger #the brothers grimm #the devil with the three golden hairs #fairy tale #bellamione fanfic

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angelynrostrand · 5 years

Text

Chapter 14

Summary: To the outside world, nothing should connect shy girl Angel Monroe and popular boy Xavier Hazelwood. But that isn't entirely true. They both hold secrets. Behind both of them lie 2 separate wolf packs. Xavier is well on his way to Alpha status and running the pack. Angel is not a wolf but instead the last healer in the world. When the realization comes forward that they are connected by destiny, will they decide to fulfill it? Is their connection predetermined by fate or will they choose their hearts? Lives and packs cross and mingle while romance and conflict brews. The story of 2 opposite souls on a collision path. Will destiny win out? Even the most innocent face, has the darkest secrets.

Word Count: 2,282

https://poshinsta.com/user/grungeliex

I feel weighed down by something. I open my eyes to find myself in my cottage, but with Xavier. We slept in each other's arms. I lay over his chest, but still comfortable to sleep with an injured leg. His arm draped over me making sure I don’t fall over the small couch. I look around. The books are still out. We must have talked and talked for hours until we both fell asleep. My disconnection from his body causes him to also wake up.

In his morning voice, he says, “Well...good morning to me.” He smiles as he notices our position.

“Morning,” I say as I start to leave the couch.

“No, you are not going anywhere.” He pulls me back.

“Xavier we need to get up.” I try once again but he won’t let go.

“No, I almost lost you. I am never letting you go.” I let him win this round. This is for him and I let him have it after everything last night.

“Fine. 5 more minutes.” I agree. We both stay together in each other arms and I can feel him combing the top of my hair. I smile and accept his cute affection.

After telling him the truth we talked and he had a bunch of question like always. I let him read most of my healer books and anything he could get his hands on. It might be annoying for some people when others go through your things. For me, it was refreshing not having to lie in front of his face. He was like a kid. Curious about everything and wanted to learn more about me.

“You have 2 more minutes,” I say playfully.

“I definitely have 3 more minutes,” he fights back.

“I think you need to check your watch. It might be broken.”

“It’s working just fine. How’s your leg? Are you in any pain?” He asks. He adjusts our bodies so we are both sitting up. He places me in between his legs and holds me around my waist. His fingertips brush my leg to touch the scar.

His touch surprises me. We have never been so close like this before. I can’t speak, I am too lost in his brown eyes when I turn around to look up at him. I could only shake my head no.

“Good.” He leans down to kiss me just like last night. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am fine. I am mostly sore It still hurt when I try to walk on it.” His hand is still on my scar.

“What happened in the bathroom anyway? I just remember you were bleeding and Rebecca crying. I have to admit when I was waiting in the hospital, I went to get cleaned up, your blood was on me and I got sick.”

“Sick?” I place my own hand on top of his.

“I threw up.” He laughs to play it off cool but I can tell he is embarrassed. “I went into shock. I could feel my heart dying a little.”

“I’m sorry,” I announce. After explaining the same story I told my father, my brother, and the police, he watches my expression and he is just as shocked about Rebecca’s life. “Also I have bone to pick with you.” I get mad and distance myself from him.

“What did I do?” He becomes sad when I move to the opposite side of the couch.

“You told the police about when Becca hurt me the first time. My father and brother got really mad. It didn’t help for Becca’s case.”

“Wait. They didn’t know?”

“No. You outed me.”

“Sorry, but they needed to know and for Rebecca, she deserved it for hurting you. I mean she has always been a bitch especially towards you. I do feel bad about her situation, but she could have killed you. I am sorry.” He says as he tries to fix his mistake.

“I know, but please don’t tell anyone else my personal information especially my family. They don’t need to worry.”

“But Angel…”

“Xavier please,” I beg. He only nods and moves closer to me. Before he can though, there is a knock on my door. Eric walks in. “Eric!” Both Xavier and I stand up from his intrusion.

“What the hell is going on here? Why is he wearing my clothes?”

“Are you more worried about Xavier or the clothes?” I try to lighten the mood.

“My clothes of course. Just be glad I’m not father.” He casually sits down. I'm confused. Why isn’t he exploding or pushing Xavier out?

“Ya, thank goodness.” Xavier looks just as confused as I do.

“Did you just get here?” Eric asked.

“Ya.” I lie. If he knew Xavier stayed the night then he’ll really blow up.

Luckily, Xavier gets the memo and lies with me. “I just got here a couple of hours ago. We were talking since we didn’t finish last time.”

“Is there something you need?” I ask Eric.

“Yes, I need you.” He says and I raise my eyebrows. “Today you start your physical therapy with Trevor.”

“What time?”

“At 12, which is in an hour.”

“I should get going anyways. Do you want them?” He refers to the clothes. “I’m just going back in wolf form.”

“Yes please,” Eric answers before I can.

I roll my eyes. “Ya, just leave them outside.”

“I’ll call you.” Xavier exits out of the cottage and I can tell he wants to hug me goodbye or something, but my brother’s presence was hindering his intentions. That could have been worse, but I am grateful for my brother keeping his cool.

“Angel! What the hell? Why was he here?” Never mind he isn’t cool. He just pretended to appear cool and collected in front of Xavier

“I told you we were talking and he promises to keep my secret.” I whisper, “ Please don’t yell at me. You don’t like it when I do it to you so don’t do it to me.” I stand up for myself.

“You’re right. I am sorry.” He stands up. When he apologized it made him remember that he isn’t father. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you but he knows..?”

“He knows everything. I told him everything.” I finish his sentence.

“Come on we are going to be late.” He changes the subject. I am not sure if he is upset that I told Xavier everything, but it is not his choice. Of course, he did make a big fit about Xavier wearing his clothes and that it only took seconds for me to allow him in my cottage. Since I still fight father and Eric to stay out.

We both make our way to Trevor’s office and are welcomed by father’s appearance. All four of us sit inside Trevor’s office and he is giving us my recovery progress. I notice my father’s sleepy eyes and dark circles under his eyes. I hate that he works himself to the bone.

I refocus when Trevor says, “You’ll back to normal in a week only if you stay in bed for the rest of week. Understand. You almost tore your stitches. The more you rest the faster you recover. You are on bed rest for the remainder of the week.” I nod. I am slightly frightened by Trevors demanding a voice.

My father speaks first.“Thank you for everything, Dr. Shirley. Angel, I am serious you will be in your room for the rest of the week. Jesus will give you all your meals and he will be there if you need anything. I do not want you leaving your room.” Is this my father’s way ‘grounding’ me? For being with Xavier. Does know he stayed last night? “Eric make sure your sister does not escape her room while I am gone.”

“Wait where are you going?” He looks tired and almost sick. He shouldn’t be traveling.

“I have some business meetings in France. I’ll be back in 9 days or so. Sorry, I forgot to mention but you know the drill. Eric is in charge and now you must stay in the house.” He says, reminding me all of the rules for when he travels.

He is not even going to help me back to recover. He just has others do it for him. “Why do you have to leave? Why can’t you stay?” I beg for my father but at this point, I beg for a father.

“I am sorry love, I need to go. Eric and Dr. Shirley keep me updated on her condition. I’m going to be late for my flight.” He checks his watch. Wait he is leaving now and is just telling me this. I know I have been avoiding him but I thought I would have some time with him. “Stay safe and I’ll see you later. I love you both.” We walk him to the car and see all of his bags in the car with him. He kisses our heads before leaving. Bye, father.

This week has been painful not because of my leg but because I am dying of boredom. I am actually recovering fast like how Dr. Shirley promised. Jesus’s kind soul has not left my side for this whole week but he is suffocating me. I appreciate him, but I think he is so invested in my recovery because he feels like it is his fault for my injury. Every hour I would give him pointless errands to run for me. He will do them with a smiling face. But as the days go by he would come to my daily check-ups with Dr. Shirley.

While Jesus is gone, I mostly watch tv or do some small artwork.

As I am watching tv and my attention was pulled in by my phone’s notification, a new text from Sage.

Sage: Hey, sorry I haven’t texted you in a while I have been super busy a work. I was wondering how you are feeling?

Angel: Don’t worry I understand and thank you for thinking about me. I am fine but on bed rest for the week.

Sage: Oh no, are you sure you are ok? Would it be ok if I come over and pay a visit?

Would it be okay? I ask myself. Sage’s reply makes my thumbs stop moving. I don’t know. I would love the new company but Sage doesn’t know my secret rich lifestyle. No does. My father never said I couldn’t have visitors. I texted back with my address and “I would love that, thank you .”

I notify the gatekeeper to let in Sage when she arrives. My brother accepts Sage’s surprise visit. I text Jesus to bring Sage to my room or she will get lost. Plus he can direct her to the proper area just in case she finds wolves roaming around.

Within minutes, I got a text from Jesus saying “Got her. We are coming up.”

I prepare myself and make sure I look decent enough for the living. Soon Jesus opens my door with Sage.

Sage rushes in my room with a hand full of flowers and a big sigh of relief. “Angel oh my god. How are you?” she sits on my bed to give me a hug.

“I’m fine. Thank you for coming.�� I say as she hands me my flowers. “Thank you for the flowers.”

“I’m just glad you are feeling better. I am sorry I could visit you sooner.”

“No, you're fine.” I try to ease her worry. I notice her eyes looking around her surroundings. “Sage just ask. I know you’re curious.”

“Well you live in a palace, you have a gatekeeper and is Jesus a servant? And I’m curious about the shooting.”

“Ya, I am rich. Well, my father is wealthy and he likes his privacy. Jesus is my friend but officially he is a servant, at least in my father’s eyes.”

“I never thought you were one of those rich girls. Is everyone rich at our school?” she asks herself. Our school is known to have wealthy families.

“I try to keep my home life private from my school life.”

“So I bet you want to keep it that way?” She asks.

“Yes, please.” I smile and hope she will agree.

“Don’t worry, I respect that. Compare to most rich girls at our school. They always flash us with their jewelry, clothes, and their cars. Well, I’ll keep your secret.” It seems like everyone has been keeping my secrets.” I’m not here to gossip or to report back to a journalist for money. I generally want to make sure you are okay and feel better.”

“Sage don’t worry, I trust you.” I do. She is my first friend from school to be at my house. Minus Xavier but he is a wolf. Sage is normal. I do trust her to be in my house.

“Good. I just want to know because all I know about the shooting is whatever shit they are pouring on tv.”

Sage and I talk back and forth about the false reports. We both laugh about the dumb interviews from “my friends” saying “We are keeping Angel in our prayers.” Underneath the laughter, there is a sense of anger. It is a shame that they want to be my friend just for their 15 minutes of fame. I am glad Sage was able to visit me. It was the best way to finish my week. After Sage’s visit, Dr. Shirley comes to my room to give me the all-clear for school tomorrow. Whatever Sage did, she healed me.

#in an ordinary world #healer #soulmates #writing #werewolf #wolf pack

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imagine-loki · 6 years

Text

Unofferable

TITLE: Unofferable

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 11, Midgard AUTHOR: unofferable-fic ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Frigga bringing you to Asgard as a child after finding you abandoned and injured on Midgard. Uncertain as to what happened to you, Odin allows the healers save your life, and the Allmother makes it her duty to ensure your safety.

RATING: M

NOTES/WARNINGS: Referenced child abuse, language, violence, angst. Playlist: “Symphony No. 9 in D Minor” — Ludwig van Beethoven, “Speak Easy” — Mansionair, “There’s No Place Like Home” — Michael Giannchino

“To Midgard, Mother? Why?”

Frigga looked up from her breakfast to meet the gaze of her younger son. “I think it is a wise move after the market incident.”

Loki sat with his mother in her quarters as they breakfasted together. Odin and Thor had left that morning with a section of the Asgardian army to settle a disruption on the outskirts of the realm. The villages had seen a spike in incidents relating to raiders and groups of outlaws, so the Allfather thought it best to settle it himself with his eldest son in tow. Loki was asked to stay behind at Frigga’s request, so he watched as his father and brother marched away atop horses with the forces of Asgard following behind. She offered to explain why over breakfast.

“What exactly does what happened in the market have to do with us going to Midgard?” he asked.

“There has been quite an unrest among my handmaidens since the attack on Ellie,” she explained, hands cupping her mug of tea. “She seems to have gotten back to her usual self for the most part, but I wish to take her away from Asgard, if but for a day. I think a change of scenery would help.”

“So, we are taking her home?”

“Not home-home, but to another part of Midgard.”

He pouted. “Would it not be beneficial to return to a place with which she is more familiar? Like Ireland?”

“I am against bringing her back to Ireland and I do not think she would be willing to return either.”

Considering his mother’s words carefully before responding, he then frowned and asked. “Does this have to do with the state in which she arrived to us? She is afraid to go back?”

“It is to do with it, but again it is not my place to tell you what happened.”

The subject of Ellie’s time on Midgard before her arrival to Asgard had not been brought up by him in years. In fact, the last time he mentioned it to her was when he asked if she had any siblings that she could remember. After that, he didn’t attempt to bring it up again. He also never asked Frigga about it considering there was no way she would break the child’s trust and tell him all.

“So this is just a day trip to Midgard, then?” he asked. “In the company of Ellie, Sevda, and Fen?”

“Yes, and you, if you agree.”

He didn’t have to contemplate the offer for long. “When do we leave?”

* * *

“Well met, Your Majesty, Your Highness,” Heimdall said with a nod before addressing their company. “M’ladies. I saw you coming.”

The Gatekeeper was stood upon his perch as usual, watching over the Nine Realms in silence. Upon the approach of Frigga, Loki, and the three handmaidens down the Bifröst, he turned to greet them accordingly. They were far more dressed down than usual; Loki and Frigga had used magic to acquire Midgardian clothes — a black suit for him and a long tan winter coat and black pants for her — while the latter gave Fen and Sevda some casual outfits she collected from previous trips. Ellie was once again donning the no-longer oversized dark blue garment that she wore upon her arrival to Asgard — Loki had at that point been informed by the girl that such a garment was called a ‘hoodie’, whatever the Hel that meant.

“Heimdall,” Frigga answered with a smile. “How fairs my husband and son? Anything to report?”

“Not at present, Allmother,” he replied from beneath his golden helm. “It would seem that all is going as planned with regards to their travels.”

“Excellent, I’m glad to hear it. And how are the mortals on Midgard today?”

“Much is quiet on Earth as well, but they have not had a pleasant year. A conflict within The Middle East has severely escalated and the United States are still reeling after a terrorist attack in one of its most populated cities last month. Although it would seem that things have calmed somewhat right now.”

“Are the Midgardians at war with each other again?” Loki spoke up, not at all impressed by the news.

“I would guess that the most recent attack within the United States will give rise to another war, yes. But that is not where you plan on visiting is it, Your Highness?”

“We make for the city of London,” came the answer from Frigga. “But only for the day. We will wish to return in the evening.”

“As you wish, My Queen.” Heimdall stepped up to the podium key in which his sword, Hofund, belonged. “I am aware that this is not the first journey for Sevda or Fen, but it is young Ellie’s.”

“It is, Protecter,” said girl replied, planting herself close between her fellow handmaidens. She eyed his observatory apprehensively. “Does it…hurt?”

“You will not feel any pain,” he reassured her in his usual baritone voice. “But nausea is a common side effect after one’s first journey.”

Ellie visibly cringed at the thought. “Lovely…”

“It might be in your best interest to hold on to someone. Perhaps the Prince will assist you?”

For someone with such a dull tone, Loki thought to himself. He does love a jest every now and then, doesn’t he?

Loki smirked at the Gatekeeper’s suggestion, knowing it was said in a playful attempt to knock his pride. But he didn’t falter, choosing to reach out and grip her hand in his own. “Gladly.”

“A wise proposal,” Frigga agreed as they approached the opening that revealed the galaxy before them. “You will be fine, Ellie.”

“I haven’t travelled in it for nine years,” the girl replied with a wobbly voice. “I don’t even remember when I got here…”

As Heimdall inserted Hofund halfway into its key, it slowly came to life as bolts of lighting shot from its place to the observatory around them. Ellie jumped and Loki felt her grip on his hand tighten greatly. He ushered her gently towards his mother and wedged her between the two of them.

As streaks of lightening lit up the whole space, he briefly stooped to her level and Fen and Sevda approached as well. “You will be alright, little one. I won’t let you go.”

She met his gaze and, although she still looked very afraid, nodded with some resolution. She offered up the little finger of her free hand and he linked it with his without hesitation. The observatory slowly began to spin around, at quite a slow pace at first, until it picked up incredible speed. Noticing Ellie’s eyes darting around to try focus on something, he advised her to focus on the floor until he told her otherwise. The large beak-like structure atop the observatory moved from its original position pointing upwards until it was now focused towards Midgard. Inside, the noise barely grew at all as the vortex opened before them, the beak glowing bright with white, crackling lightening.

“Safe travels, my friends,” Heimdall wished from his spot on the steps. “Call for me when you wish to return.”

“Hold on, Ellie,” Loki said, gently pulling her closer to him.

With that, Hofund was placed the rest of the way inside the podium and the five travellers were sucked into the rainbow bridge’s gleaming tunnel. On the outskirts of Asgard, five figures clearly shot through the light beam towards their destination. Within the beam, they remained still as they were thrust along at breakneck speeds. Loki stayed focused ahead but for brief glances he threw at the Midgardian to make sure she wasn’t panicking. Frankly, she looked too bewildered to contemplate anything else bar amazement. Suddenly, the light before them weakened and Earth appeared in their line of sight. The planet was approaching rapidly — or rather they were the ones approaching — growing bigger and bigger by the millisecond. The journey lasted for less than thirty seconds, but the grip on Loki’s hand never wavered.

They landed with a bang.

Thankfully, it was in an alleyway as opposed to a busy street. Loki was immediately hit with a strong smell of baked goods as he looked around. He knew he couldn’t really complain — it was only an alleyway after all — but it still appeared quite dingy. Surrounded by tall buildings on each side and hidden from passersby, the five visitors took a moment to collect themselves as the dust from the bridge’s impact settled.

“That was fuckin’ amazing!”

The laugh that left Loki’s mouth was matched by Fen, who chuckled delightedly when the curse word erupted from the exhilarated mortal. Ellie was bouncing on the spot, clutching her hands together and staring up at the sky in amazement.

“How the hell did that even work?” she rambled on, speaking rapidly. “That was so cool! We literally got here in seconds!”

“And where did you learn language like that, little one?” Frigga queried, approaching her with a very motherly expression. Her gaze shifted to Loki, who immediately feigned innocence and mild insult at the thought.

Ellie immediately halted in her tracks and blurted out. “Thor! He says it all the time.”

“No surprises there,” Sevda shrugged.

Beside her, Fen nodded once her laughter died down. “Not at all.”

“Have you forgotten how vulgar Thor can be, Mother?”

She rolled her eyes before leading them down a smaller laneway. “I will have words with him when we return.”

“Can I please be present when you do? I do enjoy the rare occasions when he gets reprimanded!”

“Loki, hush.”

“Please don’t tell him it was me who said it,” Ellie begged, following closely by the Queen’s side. “I really don’t want him to be mad at me after tellin’ on him.”

While Frigga quickly reassured her, Loki was grinning happily. “I would actually encourage you to ‘tell on him’ more often.”

“Loki—”

“Oh, wow!” Ellie’s interruption cut off any conversation that was to be had between mother and son. Loki took one look at the girl before following her gaze to the bustling street that appeared as they exited the alleyway.

“Welcome to London, little one,” Frigga announced. “More specifically, Oxford Street.”

Although it was not yet midday in the city, the streets were jam packed with people going about their day. Horns blared and engines revved belonging to the taxis and buses that crawled up the street in heavy traffic. In typical London fashion, the Autumn air had a cold bite to it, but the sun managed to break through what few clouds drifted through the sky. The buildings were quite dull in comparison to the golden structures on Asgard, but that didn’t seem to deter Ellie, who looked around with an open mouth.

“Holy shi— eh, holy moley,” she murmured, fixed to the spot. “This place is so cool. And so busy!”

“It is one of the busiest shopping streets in the world,” Frigga explained. “They have massive footfall all year round.”

“I don’t recognise any of the shops.”

“Well, there’s no need to worry about that. We will be finding somewhere to eat instead.”

“I have not had Midgardian food for the longest time,” Fen contemplated as the Queen lead the way to their destination.

Ellie looked up at the admission. “I can’t remember when I last had it, or what it even tastes like.”

“Maybe this will jog your memory,” Sevda suggested, wrapping a comforting arm around the girl’s shoulders. “As the Midgardians say, there’s no time like the present.”

Frigga seemed to know these streets well and guided the group to a residence that wasn’t far from the location in which the Bifröst left them. Frigga explained that it was called a café, but Loki guessed that it was not an English owned property by the unfamiliar language above the entrance way. Despite arriving at lunch time, the café thankfully had space for all of them to dine together. The God of Mischief’s gaze swept over the room and judged it accordingly. It was certainly no dining hall of Asgard, but there was something quant about the place. At least the servers were polite and showed respect to their superiors. The place was buzzing with various kinds of people — those in suits on their breaks from whatever work they did, couples out together, lone eaters taking time to themselves, and small families grabbing their lunch. The chatter was continuous but oddly relaxing. It reminded him of the chatter at feasts, but without the random smashing of glasses and cheers for more ale.

On the few occasions he had visited Midgard, he had very rarely eaten there. The clarity of the lunch menu worked in his favour, so he settled on their poached eggs. Ellie ordered the same thing, obviously overwhelmed by all the options on the menu that she wasn’t familiar with.

“Do you know if you like poached eggs?” he asked her as their server took their menus are went off to the kitchen with their respective orders. Beside them, Frigga had descending into a casual conversation with Sevda and Fen about places in London they should visit afterwards.

“Not a clue,” she admitted with a shrug. “But I’m willin’ to try them.”

“Trips to Midgard are rare, so you might as well make the most of it while you’re here, even if it can be severely dull.”

She snorted at his comment. “You’re very harsh towards Midgard. What exactly did it do to annoy you?”

“Nothing, I just find it considerably dull at times.”

“’Cause not everyone knows you’re a prince here? Loki, you can be so incredibly pompous sometimes.”

He slowly settled his gaze on her, narrowing his eyes while she acted casual, as if she hadn’t just insulted him for no reason. “Midgard is already a bad influence on you — you’re disrespecting your superiors and we have been here but half an hour.”

The young girl let out a happy laugh as two jugs of water were delivered to their table. “You’re not my superior here!”

“I am your superior everywhere,” he teased as a cup of tea was set before him. “I am your prince, I am your teacher, I am a god. Therefore, I am better than you.”

“But you’re also finicky, mischievous, and arrogant.”

“And you are annoying.”

“I know I am! And I quite enjoy annoyin’ you to no end.”

As he placed a drop of milk in his tea, he smirked at her. “Ah, I have taught you so well.”

“I did learn from the best,” she agreed confidently. “After seein’ you harass Thor for years, I was bound to learn a thing or two.”

“Or three.”

“Or four!”

He stirred his tea languidly before picking it up and taking a sip. “Let us be frank — you are doomed to be as annoying as I.”

“But I actually quite enjoy it,” she replied. “You say that as though bein’ a mischief-maker is a bad thing when it’s your calling card.”

He mulled over the taste of his tea — something called English Breakfast — before he opened his mouth again. “It is not a bad thing at all, though it is not exactly a favourable quality to have. If you haven’t noticed, I am not a popular figure in Asgard.”

“I don’t understand that, by the way. Why are you not more popular?”

He gave her a incredulous look. “You are jesting, no? I’m not exactly well liked for the tricks I pull, or the fact that I usually try to get my own way.”

“Like Thor doesn’t do that too,” she scoffed. “Bit of a double standard, isn’t it? Sure, you’ve pulled a fair amount of tricks on people and you’re a bit of an arse, but you’re also amazin’ at seiðr, super intelligent, and a master wordsmith.”

Loki considered her statement for a moment. He glanced across at Frigga and the handmaidens, who were deep in conversation, before setting down his cup of tea and facing Ellie. It was not often he received compliments, although he was rarely looking for them from anyone bar his father, but she always seemed to give them when the discussion came up, much like his mother.

“Did you just say I was an arse?”

“Oh my God, Loki,” she giggled, breaking into a fit of laughter. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m anything but ridiculous.”

“Fine then; you’re quite the joker.”

“I know, I do try.”

It wasn’t too long before their food arrived, piping hot and looking quite delectable. While he tucked into his meal without much hesitation — it turned out to be as tasty as it looked — Ellie eyed her own poached eggs on a toasted muffin with apprehension. When she eventually took her first bite, the food disappeared quickly afterwards, leaving behind a mess that had Sevda and Fen laughing away. The little one seemed to regret nothing, stating that the eggs were ‘amazin’’, as was everything else in the realm.

Frigga paid the bill with the Midgardian currency brought from Odin’s vault and the group left with satisfied appetites to do some more sightseeing. They wandered idly northwards, taking their time in a city that never seemed to stop. Ellie seemed transfixed by the place, stopping to stare in shop windows, or admire a fascinating car that drove by. After spotting a large furry creature Frigga called a ‘dog’, the child’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head. At first they mistook it for a normal wolf, but the mention of its true name reminded Loki that humans had successfully bred wolves into placid house pets over the years. He steered clear of the animal, not eager to get too close to its heavy panting and lolling tongue, but Ellie was sheepishly petting its head after receiving permission from its owner.

“His name is Bobby,” she explained as ‘Bobby’ eagerly licked at Ellie’s free hand, tail wagging at ridiculous speeds. “Don’t worry, he’s very friendly.”

“He’s so lovely,” Ellie mused and scratched his ears.

“He seems like the friendly sort,” Sevda agreed, reaching down to pet his rump.

“By the Nine, the face on you, Loki!”

He glared at Ellie’s jab and shrugged his shoulders. “What?”

“How can you look at him like he just eat your dinner? Look how smushy his face is!”

He cringed slightly as she emphasised her point by gently rubbing the creature’s furry cheeks. His owner merely chuckled. “Not much of a dog person?”

“He prefers horses,” Ellie said before he could get a word in edgeways. Fen practically barked while Loki hung his head. The dog owner, though clearly confused by what was so funny about liking horses, bid them a friendly goodbye and went about her walk, Bobby happily flopping alongside her.

Their stroll eventually led them to a park, which they wandered into at Ellie’s request. The quiet rustle of trees and gentle breeze in the air was a welcome change from the constant noise of traffic that had been so prominent in their visit so far. They walked along its paths for a while before eventually coming across a map.

“‘The Regents Park’,” Ellie read aloud, squinting at the map’s text. “Have you been here before, Allmother?”

“I cannot say that I have,” she replied.

“Then we should go to these gardens.” She pointed to a location on the map. “Queen Mary’s Gardens.”

“How apt,” Sevda agreed before they set off towards their destination. It wasn’t long before they arrived at said gardens. They passed through the Jubilee Gates, which were quite the spectacle with their grand design, and walked up the main path towards a distant fountain. After a little while, Loki found himself sitting on a bench beside Ellie while Frigga, Sevda, and Fen admired some of the flowers on the far side of the fountain. They sat in silence, bar the constant trickle of water, as he admired the bronze statue within the massive structure. Ellie sat happily, exhaling and watching her breath’s condensation waft off into the cold air. When she pulled the hood over her head, the blue garment caught his critical gaze. He gave it a once over before looking at her content expression.

“Little one?”

“Yes, My Prince?”

He hesitated for the briefest moment, before a fresh wave of determination swept through him. “When you had been on Asgard for but a short time, I asked you one day if you had any siblings. You told me that you did not, but I didn’t believe you.”

Her face grew solemn — only slightly, but he read her well — and her eyes flitted in his direction. “You didn’t?”

“Being the God of Lies, I usually spot them easily.”

There was another silence. Ellie’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the bench edge either side of her legs. “It’s not a complete lie.”

“No?”

“I have a brother. Well, had, I guess.”

His brow furrowed at the revelation, but he still kept himself mostly reserved. “What was his name?”

“Shane,” she stated with a small smile. “He was older too. Way older. Before the Queen brought me to Asgard, he was about thirteen, I think. I don’t remember it very well. But I do know that he loved bein’ the big brother. He didn’t mind helpin’ my mam and looking after me, even if I was being annoyin’. He used to let me wear his hoodie—” She pulled on one of the sleeves. “—when I was sad.”

Unperturbed by the slight envy he felt, Loki pressed onwards. “And why not return home to him?”

Another beat of silence.

In the distance, a dog barked. Someone laughed. The three women remained over by the flowers.

“My dad.”

“Your father?”

She nodded slowly, eyes fixed on the fountain’s statue. “I don’t have any good memories of him. I mean, I don’t have a lot of memories anyway ’cause I was so young, but the ones of him aren’t good.”

He sighed. “Ellie, you do not have to tell me this if you do not wish to. It’s alright.”

“No, no.” She shook her head. “I should be able to talk about it, I guess. Talkin’ helps, right?”

“It can, with a good friend.”

“Well then this should help me,” she said and hunched forward slightly, hands tucked under her legs. She began to slowly rock back and forth. “I should probably tell you what happened to me right before I showed up, shouldn’t I?”

In the dull light of the overcast afternoon, Loki noted how her blue eyes shone despite it. “I will listen to whatever you wish to discuss.”

“Right, okay.” She steadied herself with a long exhale and then began. “The memories of my dad are hazy. When I was small, he wasn’t ’round much. He was usually workin’ jobs most of the day, but it wouldn’t be a surprise if he came home in a state. I didn’t really understand it at the time, but he drank a lot. Like, a lot. Most of what I remember involves alcohol or him being drunk. I’ve read books that described similar events, so it wasn’t too hard to put two and two together. He gave out to Shane and I a lot when he drank. We never seemed to do anythin’ right, but he treated us better while sober. My mam had it far worse than us. He…” She bit her lip, unwilling to let the tears fall. Loki clutched his hands together as she continued. “He hit her a lot. That was basically constant. If he had a bad day at work, he came home and took it out on us, but obviously she put herself in harms way before Shane and I.

“Music and books were her thing. I think she used them to help us escape from all the shit that went on in that house. She was a great mam, and I can’t fault her for anything. But she lived in Ireland alone — she was from England and left her family to marry my dad. No family, no friends thanks to Dad, so nowhere to go. I dunno if the guards ever took her seriously if she did report stuff, but no one ever came to help.

“One day, I think the day I came to Asgard, Dad had a particularly hard day at work. It’s all a bit blurry, if I’m honest… He came in and immediately went for us ’cause the livin’ room was ‘a mess’. There were just some books on the floor, but he was hammered and angry. I’d never seen him so mad before.” Her tone remained robotic as she described the days events, her face completely blank now. “He took a swing at my mam first and knocked her out cold. I think he tried to strangle her while I screamed and cried, but Shane tried to stop him. He screamed at him to leave her alone, but Dad wasn’t gonna stop. He hit Shane, I don’t know how many times, but he stopped movin’ eventually and then Dad went after me. I don’t remember him kicking me while I cried for him to stop, but I’m nearly sure that he did strike me… ’cause that’s when I blacked out. Next thing I know, I’m wakin’ up in Eir’s medical wing with you sitting by my bed and puttin’ on a light show. I don’t remember anythin’ else.”

Loki was stunned.

For once, his silver tongue failed him.

He was also enraged. This man, her father, would have the audacity to hurt his own family? His children? His eyes were fixed on little Ellie as she rocked in her seat. He couldn’t understand it. How could a parent ever do that to their child to such a severity. Her ribs were broken, her face was scarred forever, because of some monster.

He knew the explanation would be grave, but he was not prepared for this. He could feel his heart beating sporadically in his chest. If he ever found him — that bastard — he would tear the flesh from his bones.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, attempting to ease some of the pain although he was mostly lost for words. “I am sorry that you had to go through that. No one should experience it, especially at the hands of a parent and at such a young age.”

She nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I know, but you’ve nothin’ to apologise for, Loki. It’s not like you could do anything.”

“If I ever meet him…”

She sat back in the bench, forcing her body to relax after telling such an awful tale. “I don’t remember anythin’ good about him. My memories aren’t clear, but I’m glad for it. I’m glad that I don’t remember more.”

“What of your mother and Shane?”

She winced and hung her head. “I… I don’t know. I’m afraid of gettin’ the answer, to be honest.”

Not wanting to push her and cause more upset, Loki merely nodded. “If you ever want to find out, let me know. I will do whatever I can to help.”

“Sure,” she agreed and finally looked at him from under her blue hood. “Thank you for listening to me. You’re a good friend. At least after all that, I got to meet some really nice people. You guys are all the family I have.”

He briefly glanced at his mother, who he knew was keeping a close eye on the pair. “We will never let anything happen to you again, little one. I meant it when I said so before. I’ll keep you safe.”

He offered her his little finger. She linked it with hers and squeezed.

Their conversation slowly came to an end. While a weight seemed to have lifted from the girl’s shoulders, Loki felt fresh rage boiling in his gut; he truly hated that sorry excuse for a human. But he tried his best to repress the negative thoughts from his mind. They stayed seated on the park bench for a while longer. He let Ellie decide when she wanted to move on again. He would gladly walk by her side to wherever she wished to go.

#Loki #Angst #Others #Submitted fic #submission #unofferable-fic #unofferable #Chapter 11 #frigga #child #abadoned #injured #asgard #midgard #thor #odin #healers #allmother

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gorogues · 6 years

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evaakibaep replied to your text post: @gorogues wow thanks!! Glad you liked it :D

You're welcome, and your art style is so fun and adorable!

juniwonderland replied to your post: Thank you so much @gorogues <3

You're most welcome, and I always enjoy seeing your lovely art :)

marielwho replied to your photo post: Nice! But, am I the only one who thinks that the last one kind of looks like the Eleventh Doctor's sonic screwdriver

You aren't the only one, because my spouse likes to bring it up too! And he said during this episode's scene "I'm convinced more than ever now that it's an oversized sonic screwdriver" :>

frankashazam replied to your text post: If it helps, I take a lot of flack for preferring Barry as well...

Oh no, I'm really sorry to hear that :( I don't understand why a harmless difference of opinion bothers some people so much, but in the case of the folks I've run into, it seems that they think all real Flash fans prefer Wally, and anyone who says they like Barry must be lying or hasn't actually read Flash comics. Just typical fannish gatekeeping (not that this is ever a good thing), but some people take it to the realm of nasty insults for some reason.

apprenticenanoswarm replied to your text post: XD Digger, NO

Digger yes :D Been making a terror of himself since the day he was born!

apprenticenanoswarm replied to your text post: evan ;_;

I was hoping you and other Evan fans would enjoy that :) I don't write him nearly as often as I should, and he's always fun to tackle.

belphegor1982 replied to your text post: My favourite just might be the first one (because goodness knows I love guile anti-heroes/villains who can bullshit their way out of an alien invasion!!), but they're all great, really. (THAWNE, omg. And nice on the de-pantsing - turnabout is fair play ;o)

Thank you! :) I figured if any Rogue would like making bullshit speeches it'd be Roscoe, and for once he should put it to actual good use :> He really does like to speechify during the Johns era, and is quite good at being polite and well-spoken (you may notice that most of his dialogue in the Johns era is unfailingly polite, even when threatening people)...he just seems to utterly fail when it comes to dealing with people in a genuine way. So I think he's an excellent bullshit artist, possibly because of having to canonically repeatedly trick/deal his way out of Hell, but has lost the ability to sincerely relate to his peers. Before he died he wasn't like that at all though, and was mostly just awkward.

And Trollobard is always too much fun to resist :D He's a terrible man who’s done horrible things, but I feel we shouldn't forget his established history of being RIDICULOUSLY petty (*cough pushing kids down the stairs and making them miss baseballs cough*) at times :>

ianxfalcon replied to your text post: These are all great! The first one made me laugh. And the last one was cute!

Thank you very much! Those Eobard ficlets are ridiculous shitposts but they're a blast to write :D And I'm glad you liked the Evan and Sam story...I'd like to see the two of them interact someday for real :) (zombie Sam doesn't count, because the zombies were all inherent jerks)

#evaakibaep #juniwonderland #marielwho #frankashazam #apprenticenanoswarm #belphegor1982 #ianxfalcon #words #thank you!#queue

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paulisweeabootrash · 6 years

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Series Review: Read or Die (R.O.D. the OVA)

Welcome to another episode of Paul is Weeaboo Trash! Today’s topic is a show I’ve previously seen one episode of, so long ago that I’m almost going in fresh: the OVA (what we in the US would call a “direct to video release”) of Read or Die (2001–2002)! I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where education and fun were not portrayed as opposites, and we had the means to find plenty of fun educational things to do. My parents searched for all kinds of potentially interesting activities, and living in southern New Hampshire, the Boston area was not prohibitively far to go for them. And so I was signed up for Splash, a program one weekend per fall in which MIT students teach middle- and high-school-age kids seminars on a wide variety of topics.

What counted as topics worthy of education was quite broad, however. I ended up in a "class" that consisted of watching one episode each of several anime that the student running the class was a fan of. This was back in the days where anime fandom spread person-to-person by recommendations and there was more emphasis on developing a background knowledge of "classics" among the more informed and/or snootier fans. (I still feel this way a bit because certain tropes and references are so common or influential that being familiar with the original sources can make newer shows suddenly make a lot more sense, but I disapprove of the gatekeeper tendency to look down on people who don't yet know the things "everyone knows".)

I don't remember how many shows we sampled there, but the two that made an impact were Hellsing, which in retrospect was at best questionable for the age of the audience, and was very much not my thing because I have a low tolerance for gore, and the topic of this post, Read or Die, which was very much the kind of thing I wanted to see: a nerd being a badass in a fantastical way. Especially since I was also really into James Bond at the time, so I was probably primed to eat up other media involving a British spy fighting a mysterious secret organization. Since I'm incredibly averse to media piracy and had no clue where to buy anime, though, I never followed up to finish watching it, and eventually it faded from my mind. Until I stumbled across the first volume of the manga for super-cheap at Saboten Con last year, and it flicked some nostalgia switch that reminded me how much I'd enjoyed it at the time, although I barely remember any actual details, so I am practically going in fresh here.

Read or Die follows Yomiko Readman, a teacher, obsessive book collector and reader, and superpowered secret agent who can manipulate paper in nearly any way. Any paper available, from money to ribbons to a briefcase full of blank looseleaf she apparently just brings with her. She uses this power in the course of her service as a secret agent, codename The Paper, working for the British Library?! Along with Miss Deep, who can selectively phase shift, and Drake Anderson, a gruff and dismissive military type (and apparently potter in his cover job), she is assigned to a plan to save the world in a way that vaguely involves collecting books. Saved from whom? The I-jin, clones of historical geniuses with superpowers related to their areas of expertise, such as... knowing stuff about insects, or... uh... spreading Buddhism to Japan... who are going to flashy and violent lengths to steal books the British Library is trying to acquire legitimately. Trust me, it eventually gets explained, and the Big Reveal, although pretty goddamn weird, fits in with the rest of what has been established. Suspend your disbelief enough to accept the I-jin at all, and it’s fine, although still a bit ludicrous.

And I submit that all that is still less weird and ridiculous than your typical superhero or spy movie, and this show does after all have elements of both genres in one. Or, well, more and more superhero and military action as it goes on. Although the theme music uses 60s guitar sounds, chromatic chord changes, and blaring brass hits that are virtually guaranteed to evoke the James Bond theme, and our main cast do work for a secret intelligence agency, they are in quite open military-style conflict with the I-jin -- with the approval of the UN -- and very little that’s actually covert occurs, with the notable exception of something I can’t spoil that happens at the end of ep. 2. And because of the superpower angle, some of the instances of weirdness are not flaws at all but pretty creative implementations of the characters’ powers (using a paper airplane as a lethal weapon?!).

This last point didn’t really fit in organically, but I'd also like to mention a couple of things about the art that I love but don't see often. The very first shot of the series uses multiple flat backgrounds at different distances moving in relation to each other to convey the camera moving across the scene, which I have seen in other animated works (at the moment, I can only think of examples from very old Disney movies off the top of my head), but not in recent ones. I don't know whether it's simply out-of-fashion or this is a result of the shift to CGI so animators figure "why would we do this when we can actually render a city with realistic perspective?" This show also has a particular kind of fluid motion in characters that I’ve seen in many reasonably-high-production-value shows from the 90s and 00s, but rarely in newer shows (Space Dandy being a notable exception). Maybe I'm watching the wrong recent shows, maybe it's just a stylistic choice that's out of fashion, maybe it's harder to pull off convincingly when you're not animating by hand.

I’m glad I finally got to watch this. It’s even better than I remember. Now to get to work on the rest of the manga and the other series. Oh yeah, haha. The abbreviation "R.O.D." stands for both "Read or Die" and "Read or Dream", which are different parts of the same larger series. The Read or Die manga (4 volumes), this OVA series, the Read or Dream manga (also 4 volumes), and a 26-episode TV series all take place in the same narrative universe, rather than the usual model of the anime being an adaptation/retelling of the manga. There is also a light novel series I know nothing about, but it sounds from the Wikipedia article like that is the single ongoing series that is the source for the two manga and two anime. (There is also apparently a barely-related future side story manga.)

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W/A/S: 1/3/3

Weeb: I don’t think there’s much, if anything, in here that would require explanation to a typical Western audience and which isn’t also explained in the dialogue.

Ass: There is a single implied nipple in the opening sequence. Gasp! And Miss Deep's costume design is pretty fanservicey, but only barely more explicitly so than you're likely to get in American media deemed suitable for older children.

Shit: Until the Big Reveal, it's just unclear why anyone involved other than Yomiko should be this interested in acquiring the specific books that serve as the show’s MacGuffin, nor is it clear that the I-jin’s plans extend further than searching for them in a very destructive way, leaving me baffled that the Library immediately makes the connection that the books are key to saving the world. There are a few minor errors in the subtitles and a visual glitch (Blu Ray remaster, please?), and a couple of places where faces just... don’t... look right. Oh, and if you’re watching the dubbed version, add another half point of Shit for Crispin Freeman’s British accent.

And for the first time I feel the need to add a CONTENT WARNING. Usually, I think the review is sufficient to give you the idea whether there is anything likely to be disturbing in a show, but this is different, because the first two episodes have the sort of over-the-top stylized combat you might expect from other action anime or Western superhero media, where even a death comes off as un-shocking. But in ep. 3 of this, there is a shocking pivot. There are several short instances of graphic and sudden violence of kinds that are quite a bit more disturbing and distressing (even when they involve the use of powers) than anything that occurred previously.

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Stray Observations:

- Yes, those of you who know a little Japanese caught that joke: "Yomiko" could be loosely translated as "read girl". Her name is "Read Girl Read Man". Because she likes to read. Get it? Ha! Ha! Ha!

- In the manga, Yomiko is also established to be a literal bibliophile. As in "books, regardless of content, turn her on". I'm kind of glad this is not a plot point in the anime.

- The “secret” operation in the last episode, which is conducted with UN approval and involves an actual military attack with an actual goddamn naval fleet (and collaborating with North Korea to keep the US too distracted to notice it, even though this is a British operation against an organization that literally burned down the White House in the first scene of the first episode) might actually beat the first few episodes of Full Metal Panic! for “worst undercover operation ever”.

#R.O.D.#Read or Die #anime review #weeaboo trash

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unofferable-fic · 6 years

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UNOFFERABLE: 11 - MIDGARD

Summary: The unexpected arrival of an injured Midgardian child clinging to life causes a ruckus on Asgard. The princes, Thor and Loki, are somewhat intrigued by this unusual guest, unsure as to how and why she ended up in such a state. What they did not expect, however, was the turn of events her appearance would inevitably cause.

Originally posted by peachsugareddreams

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Set Pre-Thor 1

Pairing: Loki x child OFC (platonic)

Inspired by this imagine

Warnings: Referenced child abuse, violence, angst.

Word Count: 4,700

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Playlist: “Symphony No. 9 in D Minor” — Ludwig van Beethoven, “Speak Easy” — Mansionair, “There’s No Place Like Home” — Michael Giannchino

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A/N: Also available on AO3 and FanFiction.net. Thank you to everyone who recently followed and let me know what they think of the story so far! It’s been a pleasure to share this with you’s :)