#why the fuck are they in teepees
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im watching frontiers (2016) and.
#this is set in the hudson bay area#in winter#why the fuck are they in teepees#the cree traditionally used longhouses
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All In Good Fun (Billy Russo x Reader) one-shot
Summary: You’re the newest camp counselor, but you refuse to tolerate the senior counselors bullying.
Warnings: Teasing, pranks, sexual tension, heavy petting, groping. (Under 5k)
Notes: This is my contribution to our dearest @saiyanprincessswanie 3500 challenge. Congrats love, I hope you know how much we adore you around here! PROMPT: “I said I was sorry! What else do you want from me?" & Enemies to Lovers! 💕
🔥
“Okay, newbie, show us your fire-building skills.”
The group of counselors chuckle in unison as you look around the circle nervously. Your friend Tara elbows you gently until you get up from your camping chair and bend over the pit at the center.
One by one you delicately balance the logs against each other into a teepee shape around a pile of smaller kindling. Once satisfied, you move to reach for the box of matches when suddenly a rock comes hurling toward you and knocks down your meticulously-built pile.
“What the fuck?”
“Not sturdy enough, if those logs fell over they could’ve hurt someone.” Billy smirks before biting into a red apple with a loud crunch.
“Come on, Billy. Don’t be a dick,” Frank drones from the chair to his right.
“Hey, I just want us all to be safe,” Billy defends with his mouth half full.
“Well maybe start with not throwing rocks at people,” you snap before setting back to work.
Billy chuckles as he watches you rearrange the logs to a log cabin structure instead. You put a small teepee in the center and light it, vindicated by the rapidly crackling wood that fills the circle with a warm glow and the pleasant scent of cedar.
You stand with your hands on your hips and raise a brow at the way Billy’s dark eyes drink you in, “anything else?”
He grins into his apple, using his snack to stifle the No-doubt inappropriate joke on the tip of his tongue. You huff and go back to your seat when he doesn’t answer.
“Don’t let him get to you,” Tara says. “He’s been working here longest so he likes to act like he owns the place.”
The group settles into comfortable side conversations, with occasional interruptions to share a funny story. You start to relax into the group until your nerves spike at the mention of truth or dare. Downing the rest of your beer, you lean back and try to make yourself as small as possible, with any luck they’ll forget you are here.
You make it through half the group, letting out a breath of relief when Billy chooses Frank to torment instead of you, but that’s when your luck runs out.
“Newbie,” Frank grunts as he wipes his mouth, having successfully eaten a whole banana from between Billy’s thighs without the use of his hands. “Truth or dare?”
You eye Billy warily, “uh, truth.”
“Ha… there’s a shock,” Billy sneers.
Frank punches Billy in the shoulder and turns back to you with a smirk, “who is more attractive, me or Billy?”
The group collectively “ooh”s and giggle as they lean forward awaiting your reply with eager grins. The silence is palpable broken only by the random pops of the fire, though you can’t quite understand why this seems like such an important question. Billy remains perfectly still, the orange firelight casting a menacing shadow on his humorless expression. Frank just smirks and nods encouragingly.
Your eyes narrow at Billy, bitterness on your tongue just at the sight of him. The choice is obvious and you answer without a hint of uncertainty, “Frank.”
The group erupts into laughter and mockery, nearly everyone throwing jabs at Billy or cheering for Frank. Frank stands up and does a little bow. “Guess that settles it Billy. I win.”
You laugh along with the rest of the counselors, glad that you made it through your turn without further embarrassment, though admittedly still a bit confused. What did he ‘win’ exactly?
“Billy and Frank have asked all the girls which of them is hotter,” Tara rolls her eyes. “Every damn year they ask everyone. And for the past three years they have been split down the middle, but now that you’re here…”
She gestures to Frank gloating happily and you watch him as you relax back in your chair. Reluctantly, you look to Billy and find him glaring at you through the flames. His hard dark gaze sends an icy shiver down your back despite the warmth of the fire only feet away.
Shit. Day one and you have already made a dangerous enemy.
—
“Hey newbie, go grab the ketchup will ya,” Billy waves you toward the kitchen as he takes a seat at the large picnic table with the rest of the counselors.
He knows your name, he just refuses to use it because he knows it annoys you. Tara throws you a sympathetic look from her spot on the bench, but you are the last person standing so it would be rude to tell someone else to do it.
“Anything else, boss?” You sass as you begrudgingly set down your plate and round the table.
“Why? You offering?” Billy smirks as he stuffs a chip in his mouth and his eyes flick down to your chest.
Your lip curls angrily and you kick up dirt as you storm toward the building fifty paces away. God he’s awful. That smug handsome face and that sonorous voice only make you hate him more. Why is it the cute ones are always the biggest assholes? … Probably because they can get away with it.
You grab the basket of condiments on the kitchen island and head back to the table. Your cohorts chatter grows louder as you weave your way through the large trees, in a hurry to get back to your food. You glare pointedly at Billy as he watches you return but then suddenly his eyes are on your feet and his expression changes.
“Snake!” He yells, pointing to the ground in front of you.
You look down and startle at the sight of something coiled among the grass in front of you. An unnaturally high girlish squeal escapes as you drop the basket and jump backward. You stumble and collapse ungracefully to the ground as Billy and the rest of the table howl with laughter.
“Oh man,” Billy exhales, wiping away tears through his fading giggles. “That was too easy.”
You frown and look down at the rubber snake laying among the spilled condiments. That fucking asshole. You stand and brush off your clothes as you clean up the mess you made.
“That was a good one,” you concede, patting Billy’s shoulder as you place the grassy ketchup on the table in front of him. “I’m gonna get you back for that.”
—
“Girl, are you sure you want to do this?” Tara asks as she follows you into the kitchen pantry. “Don’t you think you talking out your differences would be easier… and less messy?”
You hand her the jug of maple syrup while you fetch the bag of bird seed shoved to the back of the bottom shelf. You sigh as you stand up and turn to face her with a serious expression.
“Are you serious? After he dumped that full jar of spiders into my canoe yesterday?” You scoff. “No, I think he definitely deserves this.”
She winces at the memory of you screaming bloody murder out on the lake before tipping the boat over to escape. You had to swim all the way to shore while Billy laughed so hard he almost capsized too.
“Ok, yeah that was bad. But.. you did put pink hair dye in his shampoo and plastic-wrapped all the boys toilets…”
You chuckle at the thought of Billy’s irate expression as he ran screaming from the showers with a towel clutched around his waist and half of his dark hair dyed petal pink.
“Aw come on it was funny and it will wash out in a couple days. And the plastic wrap is a classic!”
“Uh huh, except you did it to all the toilets in the mens room and ended up pissing off all the boys,” Tara sasses with a raised brow.
You grimace, “yeah, Frank was pissed… but he forgave me when I reminded him of how he had to help me fix the cabin after Billy flipped all our furniture.”
Tara let’s out a tired sigh, “yeah, OUR furniture. That’s my point. While y’all are trying to one up each other, it’s the rest of us that have to suffer. We didn’t ask to be apart of all this. It would be better for everyone if you would just stop and get over all this prank rivalry bullshit.”
You look down guiltily. You know you can’t do it forever. The kids will be showing up in a couple more days and you are supposed to be the mature ones, set an example. Tara’s right, you can’t keep this up.
“Okay, I hear you. You’re right…” you bite your lip as you eye the syrup in her hand and the bird seed in yours, “but just let me do this last one. I can’t let him off that easy after the spiders. I promise just one more and I’ll be satisfied.”
You bat your lashes and smile pleadingly at her until she groans out, “ugh. Fine. But I’m just a look out. Ain’t no way I’m going to get caught messing with Billy, got me?”
“Totally fair,” you grin and follow her out of the kitchen and into the silent night.
The crickets chirp loudly as you sneak through the trees, trying to minimize the crunch of the pine needles beneath your feet. You round the main building and head for the small dirt clearing used as a parking lot. The slick black Mercedes stands out among the beaten up hand me down cars. The blue moonlight practically sparkles off its spotless surface, the epitome of Billy’s pride and joy. He loves this car more than anything and that makes it the perfect target for your revenge.
“He’s gonna kill you if you put syrup on this car. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes you lick it clean,” Tara whispers, one hand on her hip as the jug weighs heavy on her other arm.
“You’d probably be into that wouldn’t you,” you quip, giggling at the way she tries to kick you as you pass. “But don’t worry I’m not an idiot.”
You tear open the corner of the heavy plastic bag filled with nuts and sunflower seeds. You reach in and pull out a handful of seeds before tossing them onto the hood of the car. The loud clatter has Tara hissing and you flinch in fear as you look around, listening for signs of trouble.
“A bit louder please,” Tara drones sarcastically.
“Sorry,” you whisper as you dip your hand in and quietly place the food in little piles all over every available flat surface.
By the time you are done the bag is half empty and you decide to scatter a few more handfuls of feed onto the dirt surrounding the car, just for good measure.
“Okay,” you huff. “All done. With any luck by the time he finds this it will be covered in bird and squirrel shit.”
Tara shakes her head at you, but the faint smirk betrays her amusement. “So what’s this for?”
She holds out the half-gallon jug of maple syrup and you take it with a wry smile. “You’ll see.”
There are six medium sized counselor cabins, all divided down the center to creates two identical sides, each side houses two counselors. It’s one of the better accommodations for camp counselors you’ve experienced. Still, you have to make sure you play nice with your roommate and neighbors or things can get awkward quickly.
Billy, however, has his own cabin separate from the rest with a prime location, central to the camp and near the nicest restrooms. But best of all is the wez golden view of the sunrise over the lake. It was meant for the camp owner but, due to their reoccurring absence, Billy used his seniority to stake his claim years ago.
“Not uh,” Tara shakes her head as you peek around the corner of the boat house. “There is no way I’m going anywhere near that cabin, and neither should you.”
“I’ll be fine, I’m sneaky,” you wink. “Just keep an eye out for anyone wandering to the bathroom or something, okay?”
“Mmm,” she hums disdainfully. “I swear if you get caught I am hightailing it out of here.”
“Yeah yeah, I heard you.”
With one last smirk you leave her in the shadows of the boat house and sneak toward Billy’s cabin with the jug of maple syrup tucked snuggly under your arm.
The cabin is dark but the closer you get you can hear his faint stuttering snores through the open window. You squat beneath the battered wooden frame as you inch toward the door. The window is a no-go, simply trying to remove the screen would be enough to wake him. Thankfully, almost everyone leaves their doors unlocked.
As you reach the small step beneath the door you slowly unscrew the maple syrup and set it down beside you. You stand and ease open the notoriously squeaky screen door, careful not to make a sound.
You let out a small breath of relief as you reach for the handle of the solid wood door and it opens without resistance. The door groans quietly after a few inches and you hear his snores break before returning to their quiet rhythm.
You push it open enough for you to squeeze through and venture inside before you can lose your nerve. You reach back and grab the jug, using a nearby rock to wedge the screen door open for an easy escape.
Finally, you turn to look at the cabins dark interior. The moonlight shines through the windows just enough to let you make out the small kitchenette on the left, the loveseat and coffee table in the center and the full bed tucked in the corner on the right.
Squinting, you sneak closer to the bed to find him sprawled across the mattress, one arm hanging off the side along with half of his head. The pink in his messy black hair is still noticeable even in the dim lighting and it makes you smile. You hold your breath and adjust the jug in your hands before tipping it onto the ground.
The gelatinous sugar pools on the ground silently as you swirl the jug around to make a large puddle along the side of his bed. The sweet scent of maple fills the room causing Billy to twitch and grunt. Your heart pounds against your chest as he turns his head into the mattress before laying quiet once more.
“Shit,” you mouth breathlessly. That was close.
You slowly back away toward the door, covering the whole floor with the sticky substance. In your focused state you accidentally bump into the door causing it to groan and your nerves to jump. You turn on your heel and rush out the door with a silent giggle, too anxious to look behind you and see if he had woken up.
“What happened?!” Tara whispers nervously as you reach her and take her hand, dragging her back to your shared cabin.
You laugh as you toss yourself onto your bed, adrenaline still coursing through your body, “oh, he’s going to be so pissed.”
—
“Ants! Fucking everywhere!”
You bite your lip to keep from laughing and duck your head down over your plate, focused on your food instead of the wild man storming into the mess hall.
“And my feet were covered in syrup, I couldn’t even put on my shoes! Which means I had to walk barefoot to the shower. It took me twenty minutes to scrub them clean!”
You choke on your toast as a laugh bubbles up your throat. Tara kicks you under the table and you cough, casually taking a sip of your juice.
“You!” Billy roars, as he stomps over and shoves a finger in your face. “You’re gonna clean it up.”
“Clean what up?” You ask innocently.
“Don’t give me that, you know damn well what mess,” he slaps his hand on the table in frustration, making the trays and glasses shake.
“Sorry, I meant to say WHICH mess,” you smirk, an evil twinkle in your eye at the look of confusion on his face.
“The syrup in my cabin… wait, what else did you do?”
You shrug your shoulder and glance out the large side window with a partial view of the parking lot. You smile as a few birds flutter past the window and draw his attention.
“Wha…” he breaths, his jaw going slack as he stumble runs toward the back door.
You had gleefully watched as whole storm of birds and squirrels feasted atop his car until all that remained were scraps and droppings. Your plan had worked just as intended.
“My baby!” He screams as he stands in the open doorway before rushing out to wave away the stragglers stick pecking at his hood.
“Shit, girl. I’d start running if I were you,” Tara advises with a smirk, the rest of the counselors gathering outside to watch Billy’s breakdown with smothered laughter.
“No way, I’m no coward. He deserved it. But a promise is a promise, no more after this,” you grin victoriously and Tara nods her approval.
—
Later that evening, just as the sun is about to set, you find Billy still obsessively rubbing down his car with a kitchen rag and muttering angrily to himself. He had barely spoken to anyone all day and didn’t participate in any of the counselor bonding activities or prep duties. So finally, after several pleas from your fellow counselors, you swallow your pride and search for him with the intent to apologize.
“Billy?” Your voice comes out a bit meeker than you wish so you pause and clear your throat. “Look, I think we should come to some sort of truce. The kids will be here the day after tomorrow and we can’t do our jobs with all this hostility.”
“Hostility?” Billy stops and turns, face twisted in incredulity. “I played a few practical jokes, sure… but what you did was way beyond hostile.”
“I’m sorry, but… what? That ‘joke’ with the spiders was, in fact, very hostile.”
He scoffs, “they didn’t even touch you. You jumped in the water like a scared little girl so fast it was hardly worth the trouble.”
You grind your teeth, jaw clenching as you try to remember you are here to make amends, “I’m sorry, alright? That’s all I came here to say. I won’t be playing any more pranks.”
You hold out your hand as he nears you, his scowl mirroring yours as he looks down in what can only be described as disgust.
“You think you get to ruin my car and my cabin and all is forgiven?” He sneers. “I don’t think so newbie.”
You scoff and turn on your heel to leave, “fine. Whatever. Fucking asshole.”
“Bitch,” he calls after you but you don’t turn back. Can’t say you didn’t try.
At dinner there is a tension in the air. Tara is quiet and Frank is uncharacteristically outspoken, trying to keep up a light conversation that continues to die quicker than he’d like. You chalk it up to the unsettled dispute between Billy and yourself. His scowls and passive aggressive remarks make it clear he is still bitter, and it’s likely everyone can feel it.
You, however, couldn’t care less. He deserved to get taken down a peg. It’s probably the first time anyone has been able to serve him a piece of his own medicine… or perhaps you’re just the only one stupid enough to try.
“Well, tomorrow is our last day of freedom before the kids come. So I think we should call it a night and get some sleep while we can,” Frank announces when the table goes quiet.
Tara stands quickly and you frown as you watch her rush off from the table without looking at you. What’s gotten into her? She can’t possibly be mad at you. You tried to apologize, but Billy is an insufferable arrogant dick head.
“Hey,” Frank says softly, grabbing your elbow to stop you. “Uh, so I just want to say that everybody was talking and we decided that you and Billy really need to settle this before that kids come.”
“I tried, Frank,” you defend. “I apologized and he just insulted me. What else am I supposed to do?”
“I know, I know,” Frank rubs the back of his neck. “And I’m sorry too… about him.”
“It’s not your fault. Hopefully when the kids get here he’ll be so distracted he’ll forget all about it and we can move on.”
“Yeah…” he grumbles and nods when you wave Goodnight and head to your cabin.
Your eyes follow the circle of light from your flashlight as you walk to your cabin and stomp up the creaky wood steps. You open the door and sigh as you switch off the flashlight.
“Hey wha…” you freeze as the screen door slams behind you.
You look dumbstruck at Billy stretched across Tara’s bed, feet crossed with one hand behind his head and another holding a book. He glances above the pages with narrowed eyes, likes he’s more offended to see you here than you are him.
“What are you doing here?” You growl.
“Well, someone turned my cabin into an ant farm so I had to relocate.”
“But… where is Tara?”
He drops the book to his chest with an annoyed sigh, “she is bunking with Frank, apparently. Very scandalous in my opinion. What will the children think? But they insist that this is for our own good.”
Your nostrils flare as you suck your teeth, “great.”
“Sure, for you maybe.”
You take a calming breath, “just stay on your side and try to keep your snoring to a minimum.”
He sits up suddenly, swinging his long legs off the bed to sit on the edge. “I think if anyone should be pissed about this it should be me. How do I know you’re not going to hang a steak over my head and try to feed me to the wolves?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you roll your eyes. “I respect wolves far too much to feed them something so bony and bitter.”
He scoffs out a laugh, “you really are a bitch, you know that?”
“Hey I’m not the asshole here,” you defend, resting your hands on your hips. “I said I was sorry! What else do you want from me?”
He goes quiet, glaring back at you until you shift and jut out your hip in irritation. His gaze follows your movements and you watch his eyes dilate as he scans your figure unapologetically. It is… disarming, to say the least. You cross your arms again, subconsciously trying to cover your body which causes him to smirk up at you through his thick lashes.
“What else are you offering?” His voice deepens as he lets his tongue poke out to wet his lips.
Your jaw slackens at his salacious tone, yet you cannot find the words, or coherent thoughts, for what it does to you.
“N-nothing,” you stammer getting flustered by your own weakness. God, why does he have to be so hot?
He hums and combs his fingers through his hair to brush it away from his face then stands. You take a startled step back by the unexpected movement. Has he always been so tall?
“I don’t bite… unless you’re into that,” he chuckles as he slowly nears you with his hands up as though approaching a nervous kitten.
“What the fuck are you doing, Billy? I apologized, okay. No more pranks.” It has to be a joke. He’s trying to get a rise and embarrass you.
“God, you’re cute when you’re mad,” he brings his hand up to pinch your chin and you shake him off stubbornly.
“Stop,” you frown, though your voice wavers at his soft touch and the way he looms over you so easily in the small space.
“Make me,” he smirks with a teasingly arched brow.
His breath is hot over your face and you shudder at the way your body yearns for him to embrace you. Both of his hands find your shoulders, those long nimble thumbs rubbing smooth circles over your strained muscles. Despite your best efforts to remain angry you find yourself relaxing into his touch.
“Billy,” you breathe as he dips his head down to yours, lips so close you can almost taste him. Your eyes close in anticipation… but nothing happens.
A small disappointed whimper slips past your lips when you open your eyes to find him pulling back and looking down at you with a victorious grin.
“Admit it,” he demands.
“Admit what?”
“Admit that you think I’m hotter than Frank. We both know that’s why you’ve been trying so hard to hate me.”
You scoff, “are you serious?”
“Say it,” he prods again and you twist against his hold, pulling his hands from your shoulders.
“God, you’re such an arrogant prick,” you try to turn away, intent on climbing into bed, but he stops you by slipping his hands around your hips to grope your ass.
You gasp softly and try to stifle the moan as he kneads you through your shorts. Shocked and secretly turned on by his sudden show of dominance.
“Mmm,” he hums happily. “Even better than I expected.”
“What are you doing?” You manage.
“I’m calling a truce,” he smirks before his lips crash against yours.
The kiss steals your breath away. Unlike your previous nervous first kisses, Billy’s confidence overwhelms you. It’s reflected in the way he is able to mold you to him, bend you to his will without a single word. You find yourself pliant to his subtle directions, so much so you barely notice when he has you laying back atop your mattress.
“Wha…”
“Do me a favor and stop thinking for a minute,” he stops you with a finger to your lips.
You nod dutifully, enchanted by his calm commanding voice and hypnotic brown eyes. His energy calls to a docile submissive side within you and you know, in that moment, you will let him do whatever he wants. The freedom of relinquishing that control is a surprisingly heady experience that leaves you fuzzy and buzzing with excitement.
“Good girl,” he praises when you relax into the bed, though you’re limbs still shudder slightly in anticipation.
A gasp catches in your throat when he cups your jaw and turns your head so that he can pepper kisses down your neck. Moans slip out without care, no longer concerned with propriety - or dignity for that matter.
“I could get used to those noises,” he chuckles as his hand slides beneath your shirt, slowly trailing toward your chest.
You arch your back trying to get him there faster. “Please,” you whine as he tickles the skin beneath your breasts.
“Mmm, so she begs too,” he teases and bites his lip as he watches you squirm beneath him. “Tell me what you need, baby.”
“You.”
“No no no, you can do better than that.”
You groan in frustration, your hips swiveling as his thigh gently presses against your core. You push into him, grinding against him as your need threatens to turn you ravenous. “Billy, please… just… use me.”
You don’t know why you said that or where that came from. Dirty talk has always made you feel silly, and this is the first time you’ve had to beg a man to touch you. It feels awkward to hear yourself in such a state, but you are far beyond caring.
“Oh, baby,” he groans, lowering his pelvis to rest against your stomach. “Do you feel how hard it makes me when you say things like that?”
All you can muster is a frustrated groan as your greedy hands travel up and down his chest, trying desperately to pull him closer now. Your neck strains in your attempt to reach his lips, he smiles into your light kisses before dragging a hand up your thigh. His fingers feel cool against your hot skin as they dip beneath the hem of your shorts.
“Oh,” your eyes roll as his deft hands meet your slit over your panties.
He presses firmly along the center, humming at the slick wetting his finger through the fabric. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
Your head tilts back in pleasure as he teases your clit. Barely a minute and you’re already nearing the crest of your first orgasm, embarrassingly really.
Your breathing picks up and he groans as you let out breathy moans of pleasure, higher and higher until the sound of the door rattling in its frame tears it all away.
“Shit!” You exclaim, sitting up and pushing Billy away.
He rolls off of you and reaches for your pillow to cover his crotch just as Frank takes a step into the room.
“Look, maybe this was a bad i-“ Frank stops his apology as he takes in the scene. His lips part in shock before twisting into a sly smile. “Oh, uh - never mind then.”
You bury your face in your hands, hot with humiliation. Oh god, will the embarrassment never end? Billy chuckles as you whine and fall back onto the mattress. You hear the quick zip of his jeans as he kicks them off followed by the click of the lock on the door.
“Now, where were we.”
Tags: @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @caffiend-queen @queenoftheworldisdead @emberenchanted @buttercupfangirl @needleandhammer @lokiswildheartcantbebroken @thiskindahotkindamusic @threeminutesoflife @jaspearl31 @queenyanna111 @phildunphyisadilf @delightfulheroshoeflap @mischief2sarawr @thebeastywithin666
#billy russo x reader#billy russo#punisher fic#camp AU#All In Good Fun#challenge fic#missys3500challenge
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behavior modification, part fourteen
<previous, masterlist here!
content warnings for: not much, really! This chapter is a short plot break before we go back to whumping Jack. Adult language, very oblique references to past trauma, and general upset.
part fourteen: joe and his mother
Joe stares at his phone. His thumb bounces over the screen but doesn’t quite touch down.
Jack has been missing for ten days. Except, according to the police, he isn’t missing at all. According to the police, it appears that Jack took off on his own, that he left while Joe was at the conference to avoid an unpleasant scene. They assume he simply isn’t answering his phone because he wants to establish distance. That he’s starting over somewhere new. Somewhere away from Joe.
Based on his past, it doesn’t seem so far-fetched to assume that he might, well, take off. He has a history of erratic behavior under pressure, doesn’t he?
And they think that Joe might have been hurting Jack. That he made Jack afraid. Because of Ivan fucking Peters.
When we spoke with Dr. Peters, he said Mr. Kenyon seemed frightened the last time he saw him–apparently, just before the conference you both attended. Do you have any idea why that could be, Dr. Prescott?
Jack wouldn’t leave him. Joe knows it. Joe would never do anything to frighten Jack. Joe would never hurt him. Jack knows that. Joe’s made sure of it.
But no one believes him.
Wherever Jack is, Joe hopes that Jack still believes. That he knows Joe will find him. Because Joe will. He has to.
But he can’t do it on his own.
He sighs and presses his thumb to the screen.
Marilyn Prescott
His hands shake as he sets the call to ‘Speaker.’ His mother answers on the third ring. She’s breathless; Joe can picture her wrestling market bags into the back of her SUV.
“Joey-Bear!” she chirps. “Look, honey, you know I love to hear your voice, but I’m in the middle of–”
“Mama?” Joe winces at the raw sound of his own voice.
He knows his mother isn’t going to let that pass. She has the instincts of a bloodhound.
“Bear?” Marilyn says sharply. He hears the thud of a car door. Her voice is closer when she speaks again. “Joey, are you okay?”
He isn’t. There’s no fucking universe in which Joe is okay.
“Mama,” Joe says, and the word cracks in two. He doubles over his knees. “Mama, it’s Jack.”
He hears his mother’s gasp, and he rocks farther forward. Marilyn is the closest thing Jack has ever had to a mother; Joe usually jokes that she loves Jack more than she loves him. Jack is easy with her. Safe. It’s something Joe loves, watching the two of them together.
“What’s wrong? Is he alright?”
Joe squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”
“Bear,” Marilyn says, urgent this time, “what do you mean?”
For a moment, Joe thinks he might just hang up the phone. Then, he won’t have to tell her. But he takes a shaky breath and forces himself to say what he has to.
“He’s missing.”
Silence. Then–
“What? Joe, what does that mean?”
Joe is crying now. “He’s missing, Mama.”
He wishes she were there with him, that she could take him into her arms and reassure him. She’s always done that for him. When his father left, when they had to move to a shoebox apartment and Joe had to change schools, Marilyn made it an adventure; there was a new racecar bed and breakfast for dinner every night. When Tommy Stevens outed Joe in junior high, Marilyn joined PFLAG and took Joe to his first Pride parade–and maybe she took Joe to teepee Tommy’s house under cover of darkness. And when Joe found out about the things that had happened to Jack when he was a kid, she’d held Joe and let him cry so that Jack wouldn’t see.
His mama has always known what to do.
“Baby, you have to tell me more. What’s going on?”
“I was in New Orleans for the conference. And I–”
Joe loses it. His words disappear in a ragged sob, and he can’t catch his breath.
“Breathe, Bear. Breathe.”
But he can’t. Jack is gone, and Joe can’t fucking breathe until he comes home.
“Joey, tell me what happened,” Marilyn says.
“He-he-he wasn’t here when I got home. And Carl was locked up and out of sorts. I–I called the police.”
“And?” Marilyn urges gently.
Joe only shakes his head. Carl, soiled and whining in his crate. The untouched steak on the counter. The unstoppered vodka on the bar cart. And no Jack. No Jack.
His mother sighs on the other end of the phone. “Joe, honey, I need you to talk to me.”
Joe sobs again. “They did an initial investigation, and–they–Mama, they looked at his cell phone and stuff. They said he’s not missing. That he just left. They wouldn’t tell me–but-but-but I’m on his accounts–and–and–”
“Bear, slow down. I don’t understand.”
“The purchases on his card move west. Location services on his phone, they–”
“Jack wouldn’t leave you,” Marilyn says immediately. There is a certain acid in her tone, as though she’d like to take the police sergeant over her knee and give her a darn good spanking for even suggesting such a thing.
“No,” Joe agrees, his voice hoarse. Then, softly: “At least, I didn’t think so.”
“He wouldn’t, Bear. You know that.”
Marilyn sounds so sure. Joe should be sure. He is sure. But he doesn’t know where to look. He doesn’t know what’s happened. And he can’t seem to get control of himself.
“I don’t know where he is, Mama. And he–I’m so scared. What if–”
Marilyn’s breath is sharp. “You don’t think that Bill Chester–”
Joe’s gut quails. Fuck. Chester hasn’t bothered with Jack in years, not since Jack was released from juvenile detention. It’s too risky, now that Chester’s in Congress. He wouldn’t.
But he might.
Peters had said Jack was frightened the last time he saw him. Maybe Bill Chester had already reached out. But Jack would have told Joe, wouldn’t he? And he didn’t seem afraid before Joe left for the conference.
Joe should have called him earlier the day of the keynote speech. If Joe hadn’t wasted all that time talking with Peters, maybe–
“I don’t know. I don’t know,” he whispers. “Mama, I–”
But he can’t say it. I think someone took him. It’s absurd. But something about the thought lodges in Joe’s brain like a burr.
“I’ll book a flight,” Marilyn says. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“You don’t–”
“Joseph Anthony, I do. We will figure this out together.”
“What can we even do?”
Marilyn sighs. “I don’t know, baby. But I told you: we’ll figure it out. We always do.”
“Thank you, Mama,” Joe says.
“Bear, I love you. And so does Jack. Everything will be okay. I’m coming.”
He wants to believe her; that’s why he called her in the first place. But the question bounces through his mind again: what can they do?
next>
taglist: @darkthingshappen, @oddsconvert, @aut0psy-s, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @reflected-pain, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @the-non-binary-cowboy, @no-terms-and-conditions-apply, @darlingwhump, @sparrowsage, @goldywhump, @soopytime
#behavior modification#joe prescott oc#marilyn prescott oc#joey-bear and his mama are very sweet together#whump#whump writing#caretaker gets taken care of
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To Mary Schmitz AKA Bush
Niece of Mary Kay Letourneau
Daughter of Defense Team:
John Schmitz
Steve Letourneau Beat your aunt Mary Kay because she wouldn't be Poly.
Like my x did us with 'Osho' cult.
Steve did this because he couldn't pimp her out.
Because she was a mom & a 'Mary' of integrity.
Mary hid your Grandpa's eunuched babies;
Your Uncles' rapes & drownings.
She did everything perfectly as a president elect daughter to core & was blamed for eunuchs' crimes.
Villi was only brave gang member willing to rescue her Apparently.
Well, Steve showed us & Mary Didn't he Mary?
He pimped her to a child to greenwash his pedophile agenda.
Your aunt said we would all know truth.
We do.
Are you going to raise the justice bar & whistleblow on the 600k Eunuchs in US created by your grandfather's tourquinet of the baby penis fettish?
Or are you going to keep being a hooker for Moose's circle just like Steve's- Laughing when your friend Meghan is getting beat?
She's been a sex slave since 14yo.
Pimped by cop daddy.
Are you jealous of her?
So you want to sell her to court?
Does your boytoy Danny prefer Meghan?(:
You want Dan's house Mary?
Are you pimping him to prison sex slavery to get it?
When will you list it with airbnb to spread more Germ Warfare?
Where Dan can enjoy being molested and raped by hooker cops?
Gross gross gross.
Be a better 'Mary'- not a Spirochaete Steve Letourneau parasite.
Steve was in Moose's "Osho" sex sting.
One of biggest parasites in history- like your grandpa.
Why would you copulate with their amoebaes?
Why the fuck is John Schmitz Bolstrum being tortured in false arrests after his dick had to be surgically re-attached after your grandad tried to Eunuch him?
It's all in papers.
Nothing new.
But why were their crimes forgiven all these years while 'Mary's' pay?
Why did Mary K have to pay for all those disgusting boys sins?
Do you want to carry on that disgusting sick legacy?
Or be better with your sisters?
Use your lawyers for good before table's turn.
Karma is fast.
Blink of an eye.
Mother Nature's forces....
My daughter really needs you to find your sober "voice" Mamma & backbone of integrity.
It's crispy with parasites.
Settle with X- sting.
BTW- that mole on your face isn't really a sunspot- it's a train of parasites and that's just an infection.
It's like an advertisement for millions of gross Beatles & cockroaches you have a few cm under that pretty exterior.
A fog light for a train of bugs…
Justin- what did you catch from Mary's night of horrors in her teepee?
Did she wash your sheets or did a gecko slime under your stomach too?
And what happened to your other Gutter Gals you said you watched worms crawl out of?
Were They yours???
Xo
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When your fandom makes you cringe.
I watch Miraculous Ladybug primarily to Ship Marienette and Gabriel. I do enjoy the show overall, and god, I wish it’d been around when I was 12.
That said, I’m gonna get nit-picky here.
First, a personal preference: Even though I’ve read Marvel and DC comics for literally decades, and in them the entire world is crammed with superheroes, I like the idea of Marientte and Adrien being the only superheroes in the world, and the Miraculouses only being in Paris. That makes them unique and special. Having multiple superheroes in every country means superbeings aren’t any more unique than, well, gay folks. If 10% of the population has superpowers it’s not impressive. “Oh yeah, Ted down the block’s got superpowers. He’s Lightning Bolt or somebody.” “He’s Lightning Bolt? I thought Eric was.” “No, you’re right. Eric’s Bolt and Aylesha on the corner is Lightning Strike, and Ted’s Super Plumber. I dunno, I can’t keep them all straight.”
To quote The Incredibles:
But of course the MCU and DCU have made us used to superbeings as thick as Autumn leaves on the ground. So naturally Miraculous Ladybug would follow suit.
I managed to find most of the movie, Miraculous World: United Heroez on YouTube. You can’t find in on Region 1 DVD, and I don’t think it aired on either Nickelodeon or Disney+.
And I can see why.
This movie reinforces the old adage Write What You know. Because the screenplay has so many problems for a diverse American audience. It’s obviously written by someone who doesn’t understand American culture.
The special is listed in very small segments, subtitled in Hindi, on YouTube, if you want to judge for yourself.
SPOILERS AHEAD
First, this is one of the main American superheros. Being New York, I thought he was Roachman.
And immediately we move in to Problematic Territory with this character:
I worked in an international airport in a store that sold Native American items. I was the only staff member who wasn’t Native, but I’m brown with hip-length blue-black hair, so everyone thought I was.
One of the things I learned is Europeans fetishize American Indians, hard, while not knowing a damn thing about them. Many of them are shocked to learn Native Americans are still around. They think they’re all extinct. And they don’t know that there were Indigenous people all over the North American continent. They think they were only in the American West, all lived in teepees and hunted buffaloes. Europeans -- including people in the UK and Ireland -- only think of the stereotypes they’ve seen in old Westerns -- who were mostly played by Redfaced Whites-Italians-Latinos-and some Asians.
So it’s no surprise that Miraculous World depicts the stereotype of an American Indian as being that weird mix of Lakota-Dakota-Crow-Cree-Navajo-Hopi. When these peoples are very different.
Add to that . . oh lord . . .
. . . the main Black character is a fucking robot . . .
. . . . who, called Uncanny Valley (get it?) transforms into basically a white-colored ball-jointed doll.
And she was created by the superhero Majestia to be her daughter . . .
. . . . and Majestia looks like Joan Rivers . . .
. . . . and she’s apparently a lesbian with a hard-ass partner/wife.
So we’ve got a white lesbian couple (that part’s good, brava) who “adopted” a Black girl who’s not a real girl, not an orphan, but a fucking robot.
This is every bad stereotype of White Female Liberals with Pet Negroes in a nutshell. Then throw in the Stereotype Injun.
Next we have the two-earrings-bald-white-possibly Family superhero The Doorman . . .
. . . who basically is The Dean from Community.
Continuing in the OH Fuck NO category, we have the French idea of a totem pole.
This is a real totem pole.
And once again, the Plains-Southwest Injun Mashup.
Her miraculous is the Power of Freedom. Which most Native Americans would find darkly ironic.
“We had the Miraculous of Freedom and still we had Europeans committing genocide on our ass? How the fuck did that happen??”
And of course they have the Wise Stone-Face Gruff-Voice Indian Elder as The Guardian. Because we can’t have enough stereotypes in this movie.
Then we discover that Roachman Knightowl is really a woman, Majestia’s significant other.
Nice, but it was already done in Batman: Mask of The Phantasm.
Why did they have to hide that Knightowl was female? Majestia’s so obviously female; her tits could knock down the Chrysler Building. WTF difference did it make? Obviously they did it just so they could have a Big Reveal.
Supposedly the Miraculouses didn’t exist in America until 1880, which would be after the end of Slavery (1865) and the worst of Indigenous genocide (1863 “Scorched Earth” policy). But since we’re shown that through history Native as well as Black people were both Knightowl and Sparrow, why the fuck didn’t they end racism against Natives and Blacks as well as Chinese and everyone else??
But isn’t it great that they have Native and Black heroes at all? you ask.
Nope. Not when they perpetuate stereotypes. WTF couldn’t they have someone who was Onondaga, they’re from the New York area.
Remember, the Black girl ain’t even human. She’s pretty much a doll.
I want to sit the screenwriters down and make them watch Reel Injun.
youtube
Pros:
Gabriel/Hawk Moth. But then, I’d love him if he were in a toilet paper commercial. Hawk Moth, deep voice: “Buy Cottenelle Quilted. It’s so . . “ strokes roll of TP sensuously, “ . . . comfy.”
Lafayette & George Washington: I’m a huge American Independence geek, so seeing the movie use the history of Lafayette and Washington gave me happy geek shivers.
I wish they’d shown the entire Horrible Lafayette & G. Washington Sock Puppet school video instead of just teasing it.
The Gorilla’s fear of flying. Told he’s going with Adrien to NYC:
On the plane, Relax Program: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your fear of flying?”
"11.”
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous world#miraculous fandom#Miraculous World United Heroez#miraculous world New York#Gabriel Agreste#Hawk Moth#when your fandom does cringe#miraculous#mlb#Miraculous Ladybug & Cat Noir
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Fuck periods bro 😭😭😭 also im reading throigh ur slash teepee snippets ur writing is epic epic epic and im vividly imagining the terrified yelling scene when they first wake up
oh man :( okay i promise when i get home ill finish fixing up chapter 1 idk why ive spent so much time rethinking and rewriting things its like writing sadf but the writing and rewriting stage happens Simultaneously 😭😭😭
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You know what makes me sad? Really old cultures and civilizations dying.
The Aboriginal people in Australia are one of the oldest civilizations and colonization totally fucked them over. I’m not Australian so forgive me for my lack of knowledge but holy hell does it piss me off what happened! Seriously, go google it, it’s really interesting.
Colonization in general sucks ass, but the fact that it wiped out groups who have been going on for thousands of years is hhhh.
I also hate how people act like people from the past were dumb. Even in ancient Europe they knew some cool stuff. Nobody was dumb, they just didn’t have the technology or science yet to know what we knew. You can’t exactly blame them because in the future will look at us the same way. Not to mention people in the past DID have plumbing. They DID know the earth was round an knew about the planets.
For fuck sake, modern day Mexico had FLOATING CITIES!!! Fucking floating cities like god damn that is impressive! And all those ancient buildings from various cultures with the cool shadow work?
“Wow, how did they build this? It must be aliens!” No you dingus! You’re just underestimating human capability. Those “primitive” civilizations were smart and capable just like us.
I’ve met people who’ve said if it wasn’t for Europeans, indigenous people would still be living in Teepees.
1: How the fuck would you know?
And 2: How is that a bad thing? It was good system that served their lifestyle. If something works, it works, and there’s no need to change it. Not everything has to be technologically advanced. Yes, the Europeans had all that, but that doesn’t make the other cultures lesser. They never needed the same things. Why develop a gun when you have something that works just fine? Who were they to except some stinky dudes too come over and ruin everything.
3: All cultures advance you dumbass. The indigenous people advanced and you’re too lazy to google shit. Even then, it’s just common sense.
I don’t know why this popped into my head but it did. I wish people would give ancient civilizations more credit. Heck, not just ancient ones.
“Victorians were so stupid, they put arsenic in their wallpaper.” Dude…you vape. Don’t act like we don’t do unhealthy stuff on a daily.
Welp, that’s my thoughts.
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i don’t go camping like ever but once I went on this camping trip for school and the campsite was really cool with a bunch of trailers set up. Most of the students slept in the trailers. Except there weren’t enough trailers so my group slept in this really big teepee style tent. But on like our first night there it started to snow in the middle of the night (in June) and it snowed so so much that it built up on the sides of our tent and then would slide off in chunks and make this really loud swiping noise. However I did not know what the source of the sound was so I was lying in a sleeping bag in the middle of the night in bear country thinking I was going to die any minute cause some fucked up animal was fucking with me by brushing past the tent every two minutes. It was the most terrifying experience of my life and it was literally just snow. And that is why the gougar this is so so exceptionally important to me. Because to me it is real. I spent like three hours lying extremely still in absolute darkness thinking I was about to die cause of some snow.
#sorry that’s so many words it was just. i think about every time I see the gougar cause i loved it for real#*lived not loved.#but also actually the snow did end up collapsing our entire tent. like the Center pole buckled in half and we got trapped in the tent#and some teachers had to dig us out. there’s a reason I’m a very indoors kind of person
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1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
5: What part was hardest to write?
13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
Can i request fourth times the charm for these since that your first piece i read
Okay so, hang tight Anon, this will be long! I’ve hidden all the fun stuff under the cut, but there aren’t many spoilers! (Just a fuck load of rambling and thoughts in parentheses.)
1: I was on a reading binge and read Love Is Blindness by @creme-bruhlee (if you haven’t read it you need to go read it) and went, oh holy shit I need more, (which as someone who doesn’t want children my reaction to that and rereading it multiple times the day I read it somewhat floored me) so I decided to write something X Reader for the first time (which isn’t as hard as I thought it was, and I feel that aspect is why it has gotten so much interaction) (while trying to make it as different as possible from what inspired me), but then! I got a request for a second part! And I went, okay, so now we need to learn more about this little Shelby family, and it’s just spiraled from there. I have most of a 7th part done, (which I wrote before the 6th part) but I just need to check dates and years and see if the timeline I have matches up with the series, because the one child being born (the most recent part shows her getting pregnant with their first child, while the first part is their youngest child) ties into the Vendetta arc and I’m not sure if my math is correct from the first chapter referencing their ages but yet implying that “those men you’ve subjected yourself to” when she talks about bringing a daughter into the world if Tommy is running around on her is in reference to Mosley and his wife/mistress situation. (Also I’m just fucking obsessed with that bathtub at Arrow House, I don’t know why).
5: Through all of it so far, lots of parts. I have never had kids, so reading different discussion forums to find out different information was interesting because birth and child bearing are subjective from person to person. Thinking of different quirky things, like the boys roughhousing upstairs while they talk in Tommy’s office, the whole part with her making and then sleeping in the teepee, just different memories that someone would reflect on as meaningful has been hard with coming up with unique things.
And I do feel it gets confusing with all the bouncing around, but it does that because I never intended it to be a series and I’m not sure where it’s headed 🖤 I basically know roughly I want to tell a story through them conceiving and birthing four children, but coming up with how they met was my favorite part! Because the location is real, Astley Book Farm and Coffee Shop is located currently in Coventry, but it didn’t truly exist in that time, so making it work, was interesting.
13: I know I was definitely listening to something, but I haven’t a clue what since it’s been almost 2 months since I wrote the first part! Fires by Band of Skulls would be a good one!:
#fourth times the charm#ava's asks#tommy shelby#peaky blinders#peaky fucking blinders#peaky fookin blinders#tommy shelby fanfic#Ava won’t shut up#ramble ramble
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Pip of a Raptor - The Death of the American Dream (Chapter 6)
Heather froze mid-stride, her muscles locking into place on their own accord as she spotted both boys and they spotted her in turn. They lingered in a moment of awkward silence before Jon muttered under his breath, “Found it.”
Heather wanted nothing more than to run off and hide, but she didn’t want to give them even more reason to think she was a freak, and she was sure mimicking the same move that the deer pulled on her earlier wouldn’t help that situation. She straitened her back and gripped at her pants for something to hold on to.
Alfie’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and he gave her a polite smile.
“Hi, Heather,” he said waving his hand halfheartedly.
She nodded, avoiding eye contact with either of them. Although she recognized the need to reciprocate a greeting, she wasn’t used to having to use pleasantries and the pounding of her heart made it challenging to focus on conversation. Clenching her hands into fists, she felt the pressure of her short nails biting into her palm, a desperate attempt to regain control over her fight or flight response. The longer she delayed her response, the more likely they might assume she was slow or something—assuming they didn’t already.
“Umm… sorry, we didn’t meet to startle you,” Alfie continued, breaking the silence, “We found this teepee yesterday when we were trying to get back to Mr. Browns house. We normally play paintball by his pond. Have you been over to his house? He normally lets kids hang out as long as we’re not being too loud or leaving trash laying around. It’s pretty sweet. I haven’t seen you over there before, but you should check it out. Anyway, we got lost - well I guess you figured that out — but we found this and wanted to see if it was still here…” He gestured to the teepee and his rambling trailed off. He raised his thick arm to scratch at his scalp through short, sandy hair.
Heather gathered enough courage to look at the pair. Alfie seemed friendly enough, his face warm and his posture welcoming. Although she didn't know him well, she had seen him around school enough to notice that he had almost as few friends as she did. Well, she had none, so it wasn't much of a competition. Apart from Jon, he seemed to keep mostly to himself. She had overheard some students snickering about his weight behind his back, but she was pretty sure no one dared say anything to his face as they did to her. It was more likely that they didn’t want to piss Jon off rather than worry about Alfie’s feelings, but he probably sensed it on some level, and that might be why he was being so kind.
Taking a shaky breath in, she tore her eyes from Alfie and spared a quick glance at Jon. She had never been this close to him before. Jon stood with his armed crossed over his chest, looking down at her with a stare that chilled her to the bone, his curly auburn hair falling into his eyes. He regarded her with a disdainful expression, much like the other students, as if her mere presence was a burden. It had never bothered her when it came from the others—fuck them. But how dare he of all people look at her like that.
She anticipated a surge of anger or indignation, as was typical when she saw him, but this time, it eluded her. Instead, a wave of exhaustion washed over her. She released a sigh and lowered her gaze once again.
She heard Jon scoff and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment.
“You didn’t scare me,” she said softly, internally wincing at the reedy sound of her voice. She cleared her throat, “I’m just not used to seeing people out here.” Nope, too forceful now, she thought. Now she sounded like she was accusing them of something. She really hoped that they didn’t pick up on that.
Alfie hesitated before responding, “We didn’t mean to trespass or anything. We can go.” From her peripheral, she watched the boys go to turn back the way they came. Jon muttered something too low for her to hear as they made their first steps back into the woods.
Witnessing the boys turn away stirred an unusual sense of loss within Heather, a feeling she found curious considering her usual enjoyment of solitude. Especially because she had never desired to be in such close proximity to Jon. She couldn't fathom what prompted her to call out to the pair.
“You’re not trespassing,” she directed at their backs. “I mean, you might be, but I probably am too. I honestly don’t even know if this is our property.”
She half expected the boys to keep walking and was surprised when both Alfie and Jon turned to face her again.
“I just meant that I’m out here a lot and I’ve never seen anyone else.” She felt both their stares boring into her, waiting for her to continue. Man, it’s been a while since she tried to carry a conversation with anyone, let alone two someones.
She quickly looked away before meeting their eyes again, “The teepee is mine.”
“You made this?” Jon’s eyebrows shot up.
Heather felt like throwing a rock at him for being so sardonic but decided on simply rolling her eyes.
“How?” Alfie said, stepping closer. “It’s massive! We tried to make one in Jon’s yard earlier, but it kept falling over.” Alfie walked to where Heather was standing. Jon still didn’t move from his spot. “I’m Alfie, by the way.”
Heather let out a short laugh. “I know who you are, Alfie. Our school isn’t that big.”
The boy smiled and pointed back to Jon, “I guess you probably know Jon too, then,” he said.
Heather didn’t want to respond to that comment, so she just nodded in Jon’s direction.
“Would it be okay if we checked it out?” Alfie said.
“Sure, go ahead.”
Alfie motioned for Jon to come over. Jon sighed, looking like he completely lost interest in the teepee now that Heather was there, but walked over to where Heather and Alfie were standing in the clearing.
As Jon approached, a palpable tension seemed to hang in the air between them, and she couldn't help but wonder if he sensed it too. She tried her best to ignore it and instead focused on Alfie, who was circled around the structure once before crouching down and waddling into the opening.
“Woah, these are amazing!” Alfie’s said from inside the teepee, his voice muffled. He popped his head out of the opening. “Jon, get in here!”
Jon side-eyed Heather before begrudgingly following Alfie into the teepee. Feeling a little silly standing outside by herself, Heather decided to join them inside.
She entered the structure just in time to witness Jon's eyes widening as he took in the drawings pinned in every conceivable spot inside the lining of the teepee. The sketches predominantly depicted the wildlife she frequently encountered in the woods—fawns with their mothers grazing peacefully, squirrels and chipmunks, toads, butterflies, and various moths. A brown fox she once saw curled up napping. About half of the fabric was covered in sketches of Goldie and Shadow. Lately, she had been experimenting with landscapes, some capturing the woods surrounding the teepee, others portraying the lake some ten miles to the east.
Alfie held her notebook and her half-finished sketch of a tree frog in his hands.
“Did you do all of these?” Alfie asked before adding. “These are incredible.”
Heather nodded, unsure how to respond to the compliment.
“How do you get them to look so realistic? That butterfly looks like its flying off the page.” Alfie pointed a fat finger to one of the drawings close to his head.
Heather shrugged, “It’s all in the shading,”
“I can’t even draw good stick figures,” Jon said, mouth slightly agape. He turned toward her. “You could sell these, you know.”
Heather startled. This was the first time Jon spoke directly to her. She wasn’t sure what she expected him to say, but it certainly wasn’t that.
“Um, thanks,” she replied.
As Jon craned his neck to take a closer look at the racoon she drew a couple months back - one of her favorites that she’s done - she used the moment to study him closer.
His eyes weren’t as cold and flat brown as she had thought, rather they had tints of green in them. She had never noticed before. In fact, they were quite a warm color. Maybe she was just imagining them as dull and lifeless. She didn’t imagine the curls in his hair though. She was sure they were probably lovely to others, but her fingers twitched with the urge to shave the locks off so she would never have to see them again.
Pushing the thought from her mind, she turned to find Alfie staring at her, his brow furrowed. Shit. She averted her gaze downward, bracing herself for him to call her out on her scrutinization.
Any moment now.
“Thanks for helping us out yesterday,” Jon said, looking back down at her.
She stared blankly for a moment. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It was nothing.”
“How long have you lived out here, Heather?” Alfie said.
“Since I was born, why?”
“We’ve just never seen you around before.” he added. “Jon lives right across the street.” Alfie pointed his finger in the general direction of the road.
Jon eyed Alfie, subtly conveying that he didn't think Heather needed to be privy to this information. Choosing to overlook his gesture, Heather pretended not to notice. Besides, she already knew where Jon lived, though she didn’t share that tidbit of information with the boys.
“My dad and I normally keep to ourselves back here.”
Truth.
“And I take the bus to school.”
Truth.
Heather picked at her nails and continued.
“My dad normally drives me into town, so I don’t have to bike or walk on the street.”
Lie.
Jon nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and emitted a noise of acceptance from the back of his throat. Alfie stared at Heather for a moment before nodding slowly.
“I can show you guys how to make one.” Heather blurted out, desperate to change the topic of conversation. When both boys glanced at her with questioning looks, she gestured around at their surroundings. "A teepee, I mean."
The three spent the next couple of hours in the woods. First, they scoped out a relatively flat clearing, brushing away any twigs and other debris covering the ground. Heather then instructed the boys on how to gather the branches that they would need. Around 10 or 15 in total, they needed to be relatively straight and large enough to support the structure. After they gathered their materials, they snapped off the smaller twigs that jutted off the saplings and then did their best to break the branches into similar lengths by using the ball of their foot to apply enough pressure in the correct spot before pulling up to break it into the appropriately sized pieces.
At one point during the trimming process, Alfie, with one foot suspended in the air, lost his balance. With flailing arms, he toppled backward and rolled down a small hill, landing face-first in a muddy puddle at the bottom. Jon and Heather broke out in a cacophony of guffaws so loud that it scared some of the nesting songbirds in the trees overhead into taking flight.
After all the branches were the correct length - and Alfie was completely dry - Heather showed the boys how to lay out the branches on the ground in a circular arrangement before bundling the tops of the branches together with a spare piece of fabric that she ripped off one of the blankets in her own. Together, they carefully stood the bundled branches up, spreading the bottoms out in a circle, adjusting here and there to make sure they were even so that the structure was stable.
Throughout the construction process, Heather covertly stole glances at Jon whenever she knew both he and Alfie were engrossed in their tasks. She observed his movements and mannerisms closely. He was quick to frustration, which didn’t surprise her at all, but what did surprise her was the rapidity with which he could transition from frustration to calm. She pondered whether it was an innate ability of his or if Alfie's lighthearted comments played a role in soothing Jon when irritation set in.
The afternoon turned into evening and the three sat huddled together, knees touching, in the conical amalgamation of branches, sharing Heather’s pop tart, laughing at Alfie’s fall, and Jon’s navigational ineptitude - which Alfie gleefully told Heather all about after he felt like he was being ganged up on by the two.
It was a quarter to five when Jon looked at his phone screen, checking the time.
“Shit, Alfie. We’re going to be late,” Jon said, holding out the phone towards Alfie.
“Crap, you’re right,” Alfie said, glancing at the screen. “Sorry Heather, we told Jon’s mom that we would be back at his house by 5 for dinner.”
“It’s no problem,” Heather waved away his apology.
Once again, Heather was struck by a pang of loss at the notion of the boys departing. Much to her surprise, she had fun today. They laughed and joked and played. Alfie was sweet, as expected. Jon’s usual arrogance dissipated with the hours and by the end she was surprised that she enjoyed his lighthearted and sarcastic personality.
The thought of never talking to Alfie again made her chest ache. The thought of never talking to Jon again cut her to her core. That frightened her. He was the last person she should want to be around.
As the three crawled out of the teepee and stood, stretching their limbs, Jon fixed Heather with a puzzled look, fighting some sort of internal battle with himself before squaring his shoulders and asking, “You wanna come?”
Heather blinked stupidly. “What?”
“Do you want to come to dinner?” Jon clarified slowly, looking uncomfortable.
“You should!” Alfie bounced on his heels. “Mrs. Breyer is making tacos.”
Heather felt her cheeks warm at the request. She had never been asked to go to someone else’s house before.
It had to be his house.
She cringed internally, knowing that the Breyer’s mansion would be the last place she would be welcomed.
“Thanks, but my dad’s making dinner.” Lie. Her father hadn’t made her dinner since… actually, she wasn’t sure if he had ever made her dinner before.
Jon appeared almost relieved at her decline, but Alfie’s face twisted with disappointment. “Bummer. What are you doing tomorrow?” Alfie asked, “It’s supposed to rain all day, so Jon and I are going to spend the day at my house playing Smash Bros and watching movies if you want to come and hang out.”
“Smash Bro’s?” Heather cocked an eyebrow.
“It’s a video game,” Jon said, once again sounding bored.
“You pick a fighter and then battle against your opponent,” Alfie explained.
“It’s not really a girl game. You probably wouldn’t like it too much,” Jon sniffed.
Heather turned to Alfie. “Will you teach me how to beat him?” She pointed a thumb at Jon.
Alfie laughed, “Yeah, he’s not that good so it should be easy.”
Heather shrugged. “Then I’m in.”
After Heather told the boys that she didn’t have a cell phone, Alfie gave a detailed explanation of how to get to his house and they made plans to meet up the next day.
As Jon and Alfie headed back through the woods, Heather returned to her teepee and lied down on the dog beds with her arms under her head.
She didn’t tell the boys, but she agreed with Jon; the video game did sound rather stupid. But the thought of beating Jon made is sound like a significantly less boring time. Alfie told her he would show her how to play. She closed her eyes and retraced the route that Alfie told her in her mind and smiled.
#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#america#fiction#novel#novel writing#pip of a raptor#writers and poets#creative writing
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in the wise words of Lil Uzi Vert:
She arch her back, no backbone
I don't know if I'll last long
I hope that I just last long (go)
Woah
Yes
Woah
All these hoes tell, you don't gotta ask me
Fuck a hotel, fucked her in the backseat
Her old man, is it in sync (backstreet)
I was bitin' down, off ecstasy, my back teeth
Met her in New York, district was the pack meat
I hope she don't backstab me
She doesn't have a father, lookin' for a daddy
To be a white girl, yeah, she got a fatty
Woah
Why pop one when you can triple bean
Eternal rockstar, bleedin' from the spleen
Life isn't ever what it really seems
Once you wake up, it's just a dream
in a contemporary sense, the indie sleaze revival has primarily cemented itself in more club-based scenes-- echoing the legacy of groups like Crystal Castles. after all, i love nothing more than to be Sad In A Club. i think it's a feeling that resonates with a lot of us. even if we exist in social spaces, we may still feel estranged from our surroundings
where was i going with this?
oh yes,,, Snow Strippers. a detroit-based duo that confounds me. they are one of those artists where every song sounds somewhat the same. Snow Strippers has truly tapped into the *ndie *leaze, $$$wag culture of the 2010s. making music that is at once hilarious yet somewhat depressing. behind the 4x4 beat and ethereal melodies is hollowness,,, a feeling that the beautiful times have already slipped from your fingers.
i actually had the chance to see them live this year at creepy teepee. i was completely shook as the token Guy producer stood at the front for the entirety of the set flashing Swag poses. It Was Enthralling. when the Disembodied Voice of Lil Uzi Vert began to play, the entire crowd levitated. it felt like i was seeing Jesus. (i was also on a lot of ketamine for this)
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He is.. my step dad.
Characters: Toji X GNReader
Anime: Jujutsu kaisen
Type: Headcannon
Warnings: Cursing, fighting, rudeness, yelling, teasing, brief mention of animal abuse, bullies.
Summary: 14 year old … Fushiguro just discovered they have a new step dad. What would life be like for them?
He wouldn't be one of those new step dad's that would try too get you too like him
Nope, he wouldn't even care if you cussed him out or even threw a knife at him
100% would laugh at your attempt to scare him
You fought with him for a while
Picking him apart, teasing him, talking over him etc.. pretty rude towards him
Then again.. this guy just showed up one day an your mom was shocked by your annoyance.
Slowly you start to get used to him ... Somewhat
Picks you up from school, just to piss you off. Since he IS good looking, it caused a steer amongst students AND faculty.
Learns to bring Megumi an Tsumiki along, cuz you weren't as vicious towards him
Finds out that you stand up to bullies, an would back you up one day.
You would make meals for everyone (kids) an leave a little for him
"You need help gumdrop?" "No, go away Toji" stands back while you whoop some ass.
He would call you nicknames just to piss you off. Pats your head if you were fully done growing, lifts you up cuz the man is STRONG, he loves to tease you.
He didn't mind, he found it nice that you even left him some
I SERIOUSLY THINK HE A HIDDEN COOK, CAN MAKE ANYTHING
So imagine your shock when he makes a beef Wellington, an brings out a homemade gravy that made you melt
An start to accept him.. sort of
"What are you doing?" You found him one day sharping all his knifes an polishing his guns
Your mother knew of his occupation, but told him to keep it from you
"Ugh.. my hobby?"
"Are ... Are you an assassin or something?"
"Yes."
Imagine that conversation with your mom an you, "HE AN ASSASSIN! HOW... HOW WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW HE WONT KILL US? OR EVEN KNOW HE WONT GIVE US UP FOR MONEY OR SOMETHING?!" (... Megumi...)
"I wouldn't get much for you, just maybe 1 yen."
Threw a knife and spoon an this motherfucker caught them so fast an sent them back.
😲 <- you -> 🤔 thinking for a second
"Can.. can you teach me?"
Que your weird love hate teaching relationship with him
He teaches you how to fight, much against your mother wishes.
Little did any of them know, you weren't the purest angel either
"No, if your going to kick me in the gut, put your full strength behind it."
After awhile, you both kind of bond, an he starts to tell you about his past. You both had similar childhoods, abandoned an alone..till a child an sibling came in.
Though, you do have a hate relationship (mainly you), if anyone tries to say anything negative about him best believe you were in there face
"If anyone is going to say negative things about him. It'll be me!"
"Hey! He maybe a deadbeat but he is OUR DEADBEAT" CUE HIS "YEAH.. THE FUCK?!"
One time someone took you hostage, an his training paid off cuz he arrived to see the guys beaten to a blood pulp.
"huh, could have killed them" "Toji! Can I get some praise?"
Straight out found his last name was Zenin an teepeed the Zenin estate with the help of Megumi an Tsumiki one night on the way back from the park
Nearly died, but hey... It was worth it.
"Why did you do that? You co-" "Fuck the Zenin Clan, they bitches"
🥲 had to quickly wipe a tear from his eye
"But also fuck you, cuz you ate the last of my cake"
He would *try* to understand an watch anime with you
Even started to read manga
"I wish I could get hit with Oikawa serve"
"Ugh.. what?" "Damn, if only Levi could yell at ME like that." "What the fuck."
Toji would be the type to slowly warm up to you, an bring you little souvenirs from some of his missions across Japan or even abroad
"It's a keychain" "I found it.." proceeds to hand you a *stolen* shirt saying "I love Kyoto" gives you a fucking Oikawa cut out
Toji the type of step dad that would help (or try) with school work, but then suggest to just threaten the teacher
"You have parent teacher conference? I'll go."
Imagine the teacher face seeing this beef (terrifying) cake walk in behind you
After that your mom banned him from going to teacher conferences
She also told you both not to go grocery shopping together anymore either
Ya... May have came back with more food an cops on your heels..
Towards the end of his life, you both became to pees in a pod.
He let you do his hair one time, pigtails all around. May have put some pink an blue dye in his hair.
100% would call you into school if ya were sick (or not)
If you were sick, he would try his best at making you some food. He was taking notes from the times the other two had been sick
I feel like if you (or the other kids) got hurt, too the point he had to take you to the hospital..he would panic
"Oh my god.. OMG WHAT DO I DO?"
Fucking sweet Tsumiki "they need to go too the hospital, their fever is 103"
You two were a force to be reckon with, both verbally an physically
Saw someone getting picked on? Both right there verbally telling them off.
Noticed a kitten or puppy getting abused? Toji had to hold you back from killing the people.
The night before he goes out (when he dies the next day), you tell him to be careful
"Don't die.. I have a weird feeling about this one"
Pats your head, an starts to tease you about warning about him. Of course you tell him it's not like that, but deep down you both know something will go down the next day
When you get word that he was dead, an that he arranged for Megumi to be sold to the Zenin Clan. All hell broke lose, your mom was gone, an you were taking the kids an were on the run for a few months
Till that weird albino rat showed up one day
"Here, I'll take you all in, but you.. have to say I'm handsome"
You fucking took Megumi an Tsumiki an walked away
#jujutsu kaisen imagines#drabble jjk#jjk imagines#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x you#gojo satoru#jujutsu toji#toji imagine#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x you#toji x reader#step dad toji#toji fushiguro#toji headcanons#toji zenin
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— ✧ * 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐊
ask memes/sentence starters of things i’ve overheard from a year spent working ( mostly nights ) at the front desk of a dorm. warnings for mature language/nsfw themes
❛ are you okay ? ❜
❛ i’m okay because i’m with you ❜
❛ we're gonna go wish that fucker happy birthday because he's a dick ❜
❛ where are we gonna put this ? we didn't think about that ❜
❛ do you think the devil actually does marijuana ? ❜
❛ cool, i can tell you i’m intoxicated ❜
❛ i hit my ass ❜
❛ you brush your teeth, right ? ❜
❛ i’m just trying to make a difference ❜
❛ people shouldn’t be trashy ❜
❛ nine flights of stairs ? fuck that ❜
❛ i can’t open the door ! ❜
❛ you’re lying. ❜
❛ can’t we just stay inside ? it’s raining. ❜
❛ it was your fault ❜
❛ you’re so nice ❜
❛ i don’t know i’m just a little freaked out after seeing puke all over the parking lot ❜
❛ the first step to trespassing is wearing black ❜
❛ you failed the first step ❜
❛ the bible says thou who deep fry cheese shall live in prosperity ❜
❛ i wouldn’t lie about that ❜
❛ just because you HAVE to do something doesn’t mean you have to do something ❜
❛ oh no my boob is out ! ❜
❛ crazier idea - what if we put stairs in here ❜
❛ i haven’t been home since august ❜
❛ i’m gonna teepee your house ❜
❛ fuck you ! ❜
❛ i love [ name ] but not really because i haven’t had sex with him/her/them yet ❜
❛ i’m gonna punch him ❜
❛ are you saying that, like, sarcastically ? ❜
❛ this is not the right floor ❜
❛ that’s true, you are pretty sly ❜
❛ what are you talking about ? ❜
❛ i don’t know how to fucking read ❜
❛ where’s my wallet ?! oh it’s in my hand ❜
❛ i have to write a whole paper by tuesday ❜
❛ i think you’re so cute ❜
❛ where are we going ? ❜
❛ did you just trip ? ❜
❛ it’s probably why i am the way i am ❜
❛ i’m gonna grab my laser and i’ll bring it to your room ❜
❛ those are the ugliest pants that could ever exist ❜
❛ she sounds like a middle school theater kid ❜
❛ oh you’re rich ❜
❛ the boys are more important ❜
❛ i feel bad every time you ask to do something cause i say i have to do something ❜
❛ i feel like we’re the home alone family ❜
❛ does that say fentanyl on it ? ❜
❛ why is that so big ? ❜
❛ are we getting high or what ? ❜
❛ i gotta piss like a fucking race horse ❜
❛ my life is ballin right now, it’s so good ❜
❛ i’ve got some stories ❜
❛ i do NOT do well under pressure ❜
❛ i just learned how to read this year ❜
❛ i’m absolutely not okay with any of this ❜
❛ if i didn’t like you i wouldn’t have bought you beer ❜
❛ i went to juvenile jail that shit is fucking depressing ❜
#ask meme#sentence starters#rp sentence starters#rp sentence prompts#rp musings#rp meme#rp ask meme#indie rp#indie rp meme#inbox meme#askbox meme#indie starters#inbox starters#rp ask
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The complete erasure of indigenous ARMYs by this fandom is so fucking frustrating. No we are not a monolith and no not everyone is upset by the teepee issue, but for those of us who are, stop fucking using us against each other and gaslighting us. It’s not a “conical tent”, it’s not the same as tents used by indigenous Russians (which would still be the same issue?!), it’s teepees. There’s no if’s ands or buts about it.
We have had our land, our languages, and our families stolen from us. Every treaty we have ever had with the US govt has been broken. Let us keep and rebuild on the culture we have left without the rest of the fucking world taking it for fucking aesthetics. We are not here to be your goddamn spirit guides or your noble savage. So stop telling us to be so fucking honored all the time.
My anger and frustration is not at the boys, but it is definitely at BigHit and all of these shows who act like there’s no problem in using indigenous culture as a prop. Also just to head off any criticism, I am extremely aware that this is not an issue limited to BigHit and to BTSs stages. Trust me, we are all aware. I love BTS with my entire heart and that’s why this is important to me. If the continued use of Indigenous objects is due to ignorance, then I want BH to know that it’s not okay and that it hurts fans. If it’s due to capitalism and not caring, then BH needs to know that continued appropriation can hurt the boys image down the line and they are at a stage where they cannot afford that.
Here’s a template for emailing BH though I encourage you to put a personal spin on it if you send one. https://t.co/X95yB4CPLf?amp=1
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Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time
Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them
In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already
I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because
Ike has freckles
Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc
Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly
Bebe got named in episode 2
Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though
Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way
Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)
The mayor went to Princeton
South Park is next to Mt. Evanson
Kenny will literally drink gasoline
Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade
Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex
Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid
Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower
Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy
Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men
Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”
Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06
A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though
Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude
Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi
Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline
Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy
Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)
Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy
Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”
Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population
When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman
Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true
Kenny’s family says grace
Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)
Clyde got named in S01E10
Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3
Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back
Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down
In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3
Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11
Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”
Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal
Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is
Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11
Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun
Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”
Kenny has a sack of marbles
The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)
Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)
Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter
Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand
The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion
Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin
Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help
Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13
A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived
Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend
Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.
Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)
Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating
Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet
And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times
S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him
S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down
S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off
S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game
S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive
S01E06 Death touches Kenny
S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane
S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue
S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him
S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face
S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him
S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000
If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.
#south park#sp rewatch#i made way too many notes#kenny used to get dialog in almost every episode#poor kenny#he really gets shafted later
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A quick History Lesson on Appropriation and when Native Americans were allowed to practice their own culture. (Heads up I am livid in this essay...)
So you know that white people suck (I'm white, I can and I will continue to say it), from creating a new religion that's stolen from other religions and cultures to murdering women and children (and some men!) to condemning different, non Christian (Catholic as well) religions to be that of "devil worshippers".
The USA has a set of amendments, the first, the reason why the founding fathers FLED Europe, is "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." In short, this means that the government can NOT stop you from practicing your religion.
However, this for some fucked up reason did not hold up when it came to the Native Americans. In fact, they were OUTLAWED from practicing their religion. Can you fucking imagine that? Some pasty ass white men come from another country, slaughter your people, steal your land, force you into tiny ass patches of land and then they fucking say "Hey so you can't practice that devil magic any more, convert to this religion that's stolen from other religions or suffer."
That's what happened. The Native Americans were treated and done so wrong by the white men that they were outlawed from practicing their religion because Pasty Ass Christian Man said it was Devil Worship.
It wasn't until 19-FUCKING-78 that the Native Americans were liberated from this persecution and oppression.
Congress and President Jimmy Carter passed and signed the "American Indian Religious Freedom Act" or the AIRFA. This meant that they could finally begin to practice their religion.
42 Years ago. 42 fucking years ago, the Native Americans were finally granted the right to practice their religion freely, without the fear of being thrown in jail or killed.
Holy fucking shit. My dad is 43 years old. That's insane. That's not that long ago. That's a recent event.
This was after white people appropriated most of their culture. White people deemed Native Americans as savages, as subhuman, less than. It's no fucking wonder some Natives are salty as fuck towards white people, especially white people who think they can do whatever practice they fucking want.
So no Karen, you cannot smudge, you cannot participate in a powwow, you cannot sleep in a fucking teepee, you should not dress like a Native American for Halloween.
Think before you fucking do people. Give respect where it should be given. Out of hundreds, thousands of OPEN cultures it should not be difficult for you to find something to practice.
#original post#witchblr#witchcraft#native american practices#native american#I'm livid#I will reblog until I fucking die#this is the hill im dying on
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