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ravenromanova · 5 months

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Just one night

Pairings: Natasha x Ex girlfriend reader

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT!!!!!!! Mommy kink, fingering, oral, thigh riding, squirting, clit play, nipple play. DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+!!!!!!!!!!! (Fluff, Smut, Happy ending)

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From the moment you walked into the room her emerald eyes were on you. She drank in the way you looked in the black dress that clung to your body in all the right ways. You were obviously oblivious to her staring as you sauntered your way across the event. Luckily for her you both were forced to come to this event tonight since it was for the avengers.

Stark held a fundraiser for the team once a year so the team can get funding and make nice with the government officials. So fortunately for the redheaded assassin you were forced to be in close proximity to her for the evening. She watched as you walked to the bar chatting up one of the senators of new york. You smiled brightly at the older woman who was talking your ear off about god knows what.

Natasha waited a few minutes for the senator to leave before she walked up next you. “A vodka martini please” She said to the bartender causing you to turn your head in her direction.

”Hi darling“ Her smooth voice echoes through your ears. You could tell by the look on her face she had some kind of mischievous plan for the night.

“Hi tasha” You said as you took a sip from your cocktail and raised your brow to her. The sound of your voice instantly brought a smile to her face.

“Did you come here with someone?” She asked a little hesitantly as she sipped her drink.

“Do you really think id subject someone else to this craziness?” You motion to around the room that’s filled with your drunk teammates.

Natasha laughed a little at your statement. “Well i guess that’s true” She shrugged. “But at least we ran into each other”

“I have a very strong feeling that you planned to run into me” You responded with a smirk causing her to let out a breathy chuckle.

“Well i guess thats somewhat true. Maybe i just wanted to see my girl” Nat said taking a long sip from her drink.

“Last time i checked we broke up” Your words made her frown slightly. She recalled the day you two broke up and it made her heart break even more.

“Doesn’t mean you aren’t mine.” The words sent a chill down your spine and you softly smiled at her.

“Ever the charmer tasha. But im assuming you have something up your sleeve?” You asked and the redhead just smiled her devilish smile.

“More so a proposition” She started as she tapped her finger against the bar. “It’s been a while since i’ve uh been with someone. And i know from my many sources that you haven’t either. So my proposal is that for just tonight me and you forget about the reasons we broke up and just be together again.” Her words make you feel a a little dizzy as she speaks.

You take a few moments to process her words before you finally make a decision. “Just one night?” You asked raising your eyebrow at her before sipping your drink and then ordering another one.

“Just one night” She said sticking out her pinky so you know she’s serious. You smiled at her before you wrapped your pinky around hers.

That’s how you ended up here. Splayed out on her mattress in her room at the compound. Your clothes are partially removed as Natasha is leaving red marks on your neck and chest.

“God i’ve missed you” She admits kissing below your ear making you moan a little.

“Ive missed you too” You confess breathlessly as she moves to unclasp your bra. When her eyes land on your exposed chest her mouth instantly waters. Her lips them circle around your nipple and she starts to suck harshly loving the way you moan for her.

Natasha spends an ungodly amount of time playing with your nipples like she’s never played with them before… granted it’s been six months but it felt like a lifetime to her. So she spent extra time tweaking, pinching and sucking on them like she’s done many times before.

“Please mommy… i-i need you” You beg clawing at her smooth pale skin. Natasha chuckles at your lack of patience before she kisses down your stomach and stops and the hem of your panties.

“Oh kotenok how i’ve missed your begging” She says kissing along the hem of your panties before she slides them down your legs. Once she removes them she takes a moment to appreciate your dripping pussy thats on display for her.

“Fuck i’ve missed you” She continues her words of affirmation as she kisses you inner thighs lightly before diving into your core. Her tongue darts out passed her lips and she licks a stripe along your pussy causing you to mewl in response.

Natasha laps at you like woman starved and gets lost in the way you taste. Your hands fly to her hair and you hold onto her with a strong grip feeling the coil in your stomach build.

“Oh fuck yes mommy” You moan out feeling yourself get closer by the second. Natasha takes your moans as her sign to stick two of her thick and long fingers into you.

“OH FUCK!” You scream out as you feel her fingers fill you up. She smirks she sets a medium pace being careful not to hurt you. Her fingers graze the sweet spot inside and you end up on her fingers and tongue.

“God i love the way you taste baby” She praises bringing her fingers to her mouth and licking off your juices with a delighted moan. Natasha wasnt done with you yet though after she licked her fingers she went back to eat your pussy again.

Your back arched off the bed when she wrapped her lips around your clit and started sucking again. “OH MY GOD” You moaned gripping the sheets for support. Natasha just hummed in response getting lost in your sounds and taste. As she was eating you all you could think about was how much you missed her and never wanted this to end.

You two broke up amicably for multiple reasons the main one being the fact that there just wasnt enough communication. And with you two being Avengers the non communication turned into sloppy missions and arguments which led to the end. But in the end you both missed each other more than either of you wanted to admit.

“Cum for me detka” She said harshly sucking on your clit bringing you out of your thoughts. Her words along with a particularly harsh suck you ended up squirting all over the bed.

“O-Oh my god” You whisper breathlessly as you move the hair from your face. Natasha made her way back up to your face and gently cupped your cheek.

“Ive missed you so much” She whispers pulling you in for a passionate kiss. “I lied… I dont want this to be just for one night”

“Me neither” You confessed moving your hands to her waist and positioning her on your thigh. She raised an eyebrow at you before she got the hint and removed her clothes and sat back down in your thigh.

Your hands gripped her hips and you locked eyes with her and pushed her dripping core onto your thigh. She let out a breathy moan at the contact of your cool thigh against her warm core. Her hands went straight to your chest so she could have something to hold onto as she slowly lost her composure.

Natasha could feel her orgasm creep up on her as she grinded against your thigh. And when you tensed up your thigh under her she let go all over your thigh making you smile.

“Ive missed that” You say chuckling a little making her smile. She slowly got off your thigh and you marveled at the sight of her juices on your thigh. Once she laid down on the bed you laid on her chest as you tried to catch your breath.

“I want us to try again” She whispered in your ear as she kissed your head.

“We were already back together from the second you made your proposition” You confessed. Natasha smiled and kissed you again before she grabbed a towel to clean the both of you off. When she returned she cleaned you and then herself off before laying back down next to you.

“Sleep now my love” She whispered in your ear as well as wrapping her arms around you and bringing you closer to her as much as possible.

Soon you booth drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Yes there was still a lot to talk about but as for now you were going to relish in the bliss that is Natasha Romanoff.

~The end~

A/n i know this was kinda rushed but i really wanted to post something for yall so i hope you liked it :)

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icallhimjoey · 3 months

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♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: What good are flatmates even, if they don't comfort you when you need it most? Or when you need it a normal amount? Or, you know, when you don't really need it, but just really want it?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, afab!reader, hurt/comfort i guess? idk we're sad a lot and joe cheers us up a lot, mentions of reader having hair long enough to be played with

Author’s note: oooohh trouble in paradise? or maybe not... well, at least there's some realisations. a few of them. we'll see how much they'll actually mean and if it'll change anything.

Wordcount: 4.3K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Joe had been thrown for a loop.

What the fuck was that?

He didn’t understand what was suddenly different. Why things had suddenly changed. It was only subtle, they were just two words. But at the same time, proven by the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about them, they carried colossal meaning.

“Thank you.”

It took him a second to process the words. He didn’t even really hear them at first. Didn’t let them land properly. Not initially.

He watched you walk into the kitchen and have a sip of water before you went to bed. Told him good night, which he returned, and then after you’d left him by himself, he suddenly frowned. Tucked in his chin in confusion.

Thank you?

Thank you for what?

You had never told him thank you before after an evening of a shared pizza and soft comfort on the sofa. Throughout the whole film, Joe’d rested his arm on the back of it, bent at the elbow, fingers slowly raking through your hair at your hairline. You’d curled into him like a cat, feet pressed into the cushions right next to his thighs, knees over his lap and your head on his shoulder.

Close and comfy, like it always was. Like you always were.

Joe had expected you to fall asleep, because you usually did, but you hadn’t this time. The film ended, and as the credits rolled, you sat up, stretched your arms up over your head and yawned.

“Thank you.” you’d casually said before getting up and leaving him there.

You made an offhand comment about needing to clean the kitchen. Said you’d get to it tomorrow and disappeared into the hallway before Joe could say anything about it.

Thank you.

Joe knew he was likely being silly. Saying thank you was a good thing. A polite thing to do, the opposite of rude, or careless. He should actually be glad for it.

Yet, he wasn’t.

It took him a whole day of thinking about it to figure out why it bothered him so much.

For one, he didn’t like that you’d introduced something new that felt less intimate, somehow. You’d never said it before, and he couldn’t think of anything else being different, so why suddenly this? Then, secondly, and Joe knew there was a fair chance he was wrong, but it somehow turned the quality time you spent together feel grossly transactional.

Like he’d done a stranger a favour.

He still didn’t fully get it, because essentially he was accusing you of doing something appreciative, but it just... it absolutely didn’t sit right with him.

Problem was, who was he going to talk to about this?

He couldn’t talk to anyone. Not even you. Because that’s not what you did. You never talked. Not about these things, at least.

And so, because there wasn’t really any other choice, Joe decided to push the whole thing to the back of his mind, where he’d forget about all of it eventually.

He was likely being stupid.

You had been nice.

He could just force himself to say you were welcome if you did it again.

Though he really hoped you wouldn’t do it again.

Didn’t want that to become a new flatmate thing, saying thank you and you’re welcome like you were vague acquaintances.

Things weren’t meant to move backwards like that. Not that Joe dared think of next steps. Forward ones. Of moving whatever was happening between the two of you along. But he didn’t want to go backwards.

He feared things were already slightly moving backwards though, because you’d not snuck into his bed in a while.

And you’d not gone out of your way to find him for a quick hug in a bit.

Joe thought it was likely that you were seeing someone. Or at least talking to someone. Not that this stopped you from draping yourself over Joe’s lap when you’d find him watching TV sat on the sofa, but it felt like you were pulling away just ever so slightly.

He only allowed himself to dwell on it for a second.

Was probably for the best, wasn’t it?

Joe understood that having you as a flatmate only worked out in the way that it did on his end because he wasn’t looking to enter a serious relationship with anyone.

If he was, he’d have to move out.

He’d have to.

There was no way he was going to be able to convince someone, anyone, that you and Joe were just normal flatmates. Especially if it was someone he’d have serious intentions about maybe marrying one day.

Or, if he could, there’d still be the issue that she would then likely not trust it. Not trust you. Not trust him.

So maybe this was smart.

Not as fun, though.

Good, for you. Obviously. You seemed happier. In better moods. This was a good thing, Joe reminded himself, and made a real point to think it every time he felt a little sad when he watched a film by himself in an empty flat. When he went to bed by himself in an empty flat.

A few weeks passed like that, until one afternoon, he’d walked in with bags full of shopping, and saw you’d crawled into bed for a midday nap. You’d left your bedroom door open and Joe took a moment to look at you as he leant against the doorframe.

Why did you look so much better to him when you were asleep?

So much softer. Almost fragile. Like you needed protecting.

He knew he took too long staring at you. Had to snap himself out of it and he squeezed his eyes shut as he closed the door. The self-restraint it took to not just walk right over and get into bed with you deserved a fucking medal, Joe thought.

When dinner time was nearing and he still hadn’t seen or heard you, he took it upon himself to go and wake you up.

Soft knocks on your bedroom door got no answer.

He went inside anyway, whispered your name and walked over to your bed.

You’d curled up into a little ball, face squished between your pillow and your pulled up shoulder and you looked achingly adorable, Joe could hardly stand it.

He used a finger to remove a strand of hair that had fallen over your face and softly said your name once more.

You woke up slow.

Joe got to witness it from up close.

After groaning, stretching and a deep inhale, you blinked your eyes into focus and found Joe sat on the edge of your bed.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he smiled. You frowned at his little joke, knowing full well it was nearing in on the evening. “We’re making pizza from scratch for dinner.”

You hummed and, in all honesty, wanted to roll over and get a few more minutes in. You’d not had a single good night’s sleep all week, so you’d reserved the weekend to catch up.

Just, sleep. No other plans.

“You want some home made pizza?” Joe cooed, eyes all rounded, all gentle.

You nodded, rubbing your face further into your pillow as you did.

“Yea? What toppings do you want?”

Joe forced you to wake up a little more. To think a little straighter.

It took you a second to get it together, and then you softly said, “I don’t know, what did you get?”

“Lots.”

“Hmm,” you tried your best suppressing a yawn. “I’ll have everything then.”

“All right, one everything-pizza, coming up.”

You huffed a laugh and rolled onto your back, managing to open your eyes fully now. You stared up at the ceiling a second, and then looked at Joe.

“I skipped lunch, so this is perfect, actually.”

And Joe just... smiled. Grinned widely as he looked at you. It took a few seconds before he seemed to realise that you could see him, because suddenly he looked down a little bashfully before clearing his throat and getting up.

“No need to rush, it’ll take a while. Dough’s still rising.” Joe talked as he walked out, slapping the doorframe as he passed it before disappearing from view.

And... shit.

You felt it then and you just... you knew you’d been right.

This just confirmed it, and you didn’t like how it all just settled into your bones more. Because, it meant trouble.

You’d first noticed it a few weeks ago.

How you’d somehow, over the span of some months, had fucking managed to fully pavlov yourself. Conditioned your mood into doing a complete one-eighty the moment your flat came into view.

You could’ve had the best day. Be in the best mood. Absolutely no reason to feel sad, to be tired, to be all down. Could be so happy, feel really upbeat, all chipper and energized. But you would quite literally turn the corner, would see your building, and you would feel your whole mood sink with every step you’d get closer.

And for what?

Just so you could be babied by your flatmate?

Because you knew he always would?

Sick. That wasn’t okay.

You had a stern check-in with yourself when, a few weeks ago, you came home after work and used the whole lift ride to think of reasons to be sad, quite literally depressing yourself.

And then, when you walked in on the verge of tears, Joe wasn’t there.

You fucking idiot.

Did all that for fucking nothing.

And now what?

Pick up the pieces yourself?

Where was the fun in that?

You thought about Joe’s bed, then. You knew he didn’t mind you sleeping in there. But, what were you doing, realistically? If you really gave it a good think?

Something needed changing.

Enough of this bullshit.

And when Joe had walked in around eight that evening, you sat down and watched a film together and you’d tried so very hard not to fall asleep. To not wobble in your mood. To not rely on Joe so much to fix what wasn’t even broken. God, you really had to stop convincing yourself that you were broken all of the time.

Once the film finished, you’d told Joe thanks and went to sleep and felt fucking awful for it, but it was probably for the best.

It would be good trying to be a bit more normal.

Use your words.

Be polite and say thanks when you should.

And maybe you should stop going for dates with guys, laugh at their jokes all night, but secretly be so excited to go home where you could sink into Joe’s side and hide yourself away underneath his arm for a good while.

Maybe you should stop having adult sleep-overs at random guys’ places, and constantly think of how your body fit together with theirs compared to Joe’s.

Wasn’t exactly healthy, what you’d been doing, was it?

Best to pull back. If only a little.

But then, waking up to Joe sat on the edge of your bed? Calling you sunshine as he smiled? Talking about making home made pizza together? Whispering all soft so you could wake up gently?

God.

There really was just something about it.

About him.

And even though you lived together, you realised you had missed him when you watched him walk out of your bedroom, talking about pizza dough rising and telling you not to rush getting out of bed.

Overcome by a weird surge of blind affection that would’ve been directionless had Joe not been there, you decided to just let it lead you where it wanted you to go. Let it pull you out of bed. Let it lumber you over to your kitchen.

You had itchy hands that needed to touch.

Arms that need to curl around and squeeze.

Feel him.

Feel him all up against you. Around you. Everywhere.

But, you were stopped in your tracks.

Thrown for a loop.

You hadn’t expected another person there.

Joe was stood by the counter, his back facing you, as he was cutting up some chicken to cook.

At the island stood his father.

“Hello,” Joe’s dad could smile just as warmly as Joe could. All kind and friendly. He said hello the way polite people always did, intonation going from up, then down, and then slightly up again at the end.

You knew Joe’s dad.

Had met him many times before.

You just hadn’t expected him.

He startled the tears right into your eyes.

Which sucked.

Because you were already on your way to attach yourself to Joe for a minute, and now you couldn’t because that’s not what you did in front of other people, and now you were crying, and guess how you always dealt with tears inside these four walls? Who always dealt with your tears inside these four walls?

Panic.

“Ooh, sorry! Did I frighten you?”

“N-no,” you tried smiling to disguise that actually, yes, he had done. But that wasn’t his fault. You had just wrongly assumed that when Joe said we’re making pizza from scratch, that he meant you and him would be making pizza from scratch.

Not his father and him.

Stupid.

Joe looked over his shoulder and saw you stood in the doorway still, body all rigid as your eyes darted from his dad to him and back again, and he saw.

Saw how your index fingers curled to scratch at your thumbs by your sides.

Saw how your held your breath, scared to release it, because what if it came out as a sob?

Saw how you bit your bottom lip into your mouth to make sure they wouldn’t see it tremble.

Saw the telltale crease of your forehead that always came before tears.

Shit.

Joe put his knife down and then, just... stood there. Didn’t know what to do. Because there was company, and Joe didn’t do what Joe usually did when there was company.

So now what?

You opened your mouth, and something stuttered out, but none of you could make sense of what words they were meant to be.

And then you just... stepped back.

Left.

Needed to go hide in your bathroom or something. Splash some cold water into your face and slap yourself across a wet cheek. It was so fucking silly, but it was wildly overwhelming to really want a hug from your comfort-person and then not be able to get one.

Just before you were about to dart into your room, you heard following footsteps.

No voice.

No words.

Just footsteps.

You were about three steps into your bedroom, bee-lining it to your ensuite, when a hand got you by the elbow and stopped you.

“Hey, come here.”

You easily let yourself be pulled back and crashed into Joe’s chest. It was confusing to try and wrap your head around why you suddenly were all up in your feelings, why the sudden dramatics, why your eyes were wet and your throat felt tight.

But then, there was Joe.

Ready to take care of it.

Joe used both arms to hold you against him firmly, one large palm around the back of your head to hold it in place. He let his head rest on top of yours, his cheek pressing into your hair, and you clung to him. Burrowed your face into him and tightly twisted handfuls of fabric of his shirt into your fists as your breathing grew more erratic.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Joe shushed and squeezed you and you mentally kicked yourself for even attempting to deprive yourself from this for weeks.

This was nice. This certainty of safety. Of zero judgement. Zero questions.

Why were you so upset?

It left you shaking.

Joe fucking loved it.

“It’s just my dad,” Joe said, and you couldn’t help the laugh that startled out of you. He said it like he was reassuring you that his dad didn’t bite, but you understood he meant his dad wasn’t going to be weird about what he’d just witnessed. Wasn’t going to mention how you’d just made a fool of yourself.

You turned your head to press your forehead into the hollow of Joe’s neck, rubbed your skin across his and took a second to just breathe. To stick your nose into the dip between his collarbones and to inhale him. To really feel Joe.

And Joe was never the first to pull away.

But his dad was making pizza in the kitchen still.

The longer you’d be gone, the higher the chance of an explanation needed.

“Tell you what,” Joe said after a bit. “You take a minute, clean this pigsty,–” Joe felt you were about to pull back, likely to argue him, so he didn’t leave any room as he quickly continued, “It’s so messy in here, I can’t even see the floor, and then, once you’re finished, in like, half an hour,–” you fully tried pulling out of Joe’s grasp now as you laughed, but he’d really locked his arm in, keeping you in place, still squished against his front. It turned into a playful wrestle to get free as you tried to pry your hands in between the two of you. “When you’ll have managed maybe tidy half of it, we’ll have dinner ready.”

Joe finally let go, and you pinched him in the side for his jokes.

Made him flinch and yelp, and it only made you smile wider.

Your room was hardly a mess.

“I’ll make an extra large pizza with the– with everything on that we can share.”

Fuck off, that made you pout.

“Stop, don’t cry. It’s just because my dad wants bean curd on his, so he has to do his own.”

“Oh, ew,” you grimaced, and Joe made big eyes in agreement as he nodded.

“Bean curd doesn’t count as everything,”

“Bean curd doesn’t even count as food.”

And just like that; you were normal flatmates again.

One just desperately needed a cuddle and the other desperately wanted to give one.

You didn’t need to talk about why.

Didn’t need to explain yourselves.

It just was what it was.

Joe gave your shoulders a last squeeze and left you alone in your bedroom. Pretended to trip on mess on his way out, and you checked, but there was nothing there.

Just before Joe found himself back in his kitchen where his dad was cutting up tofu, he silently celebrated how you hadn’t said thank you this time.

The universe felt restored.

Joe casually told his father that you were half asleep still when you’d walked in a minute ago. And his dad didn’t ask questions. Just asked if he could pass him the shredded cheese.

Having dinner together was fine. You mostly listened to the conversations between the two of them. Chimed in with an opinion when asked. Gave Joe a look when he silently ate all the smaller slices he’d cut, leaving you the larger ones, ensuring you got more than plenty seeing as you’d not eaten since breakfast.

About an hour later, when his dad was on his way out, you heard him ask Joe if he had any plans for the evening. It was Saturday night. You forgot people often had exciting plans on Saturday night.

For a single second, you prayed Joe didn’t have any plans as you selfishly felt you were due some falling asleep in his arms on the sofa.

Then you heard him say, “Horror film, I think,” before the two of them fell into too long a conversation about which films they’d seen over the past couple of weeks. And had Joe seen this film already? Because he’d heard good things. Um, no, he hadn’t. Not Yet. Ah, but he was going to a screening on Wednesday, Joe should join him. And, yea, he’d check his schedule, would let him know, because that sounded like fun.

You were cleaning the kitchen, wiping down the counters, when Joe finally said goodbye to his father and shut the door behind him. You heard how he locked it properly before he joined you again.

Joe didn’t ask if you wanted to watch a scary film with him. Just turned on the TV and found the one he wanted to watch.

Didn’t ask if you wanted a fat glass of red wine. Just poured two and placed them on the coffee table.

He didn’t have to call you over, didn’t have to motion at where to sit, and didn’t have to ask to share the blanket. You were already there, sat down right beside him and covered the two of you with the cosiest throw blanket you owned.

All unsaid.

All perfectly executed.

You weren’t the best at enjoying horror flicks. You were too easily scared, the suspense too difficult for you to handle, but it was fine. Joe was there. And you’d probably hardly get to see any of it, you knew.

Joe knew too.

If not the lack of sleep, the carbs of the pizza and the smooth glass of red would probably get you to drift off in no time.

With your glass in your hand, arm curled in to let it rest against your cheek, Joe invited you to let all your weight slump into his shoulder. He nursed his own glass in his lap as the film started, and you glued your gazes to the TV.

Your eyes were already kind of heavy, but you loved the shared warmth and gentle embrace too much to let yourself fall asleep so easily. You wanted to consciously exist in it for as long as you could, tonight. So you put some real effort into getting into the film, knowing that if it managed to get you hooked, staying awake wouldn’t become a huge chore. Especially with its genre.

But it kind of became a huge chore, anyway.

And you swore there were moments where you could feel Joe’s eyes on you, but when you chanced a quick peek, he was watching the TV, his head inclined to yours ever so slightly.

Maybe that was just the uneasy feeling that the scary film gave you then. Not Joe watching you.

You ignored how that disappointed you slightly.

It didn’t take long for your eyes to grow too heavy to keep open, and after really giving it your best try to fight it, you gave yourself over to what your body wanted. Closed your eyes and turned your nose into Joe’s arm.

Joe smelled like he always smelled.

You couldn’t really describe it, but it was distinctly him.

After a few minutes of teetering on the edge, you felt Joe take the glass of red from your grasp. You wanted to open your eyes, to apologise for nearly falling asleep whilst snuggled up under a cream-coloured throw blanket, but your eyes were heavier than anticipated.

You only managed a small murmur of sound. A little hum to let Joe know.

Your body moved as Joe leant forward to place both glasses onto the coffee table before he sat back, and in your hazy state, you let Joe help you get comfortable again. You felt how his hand slid under your elbow to curl around your arm, rubbing down the curve of it, until it reached your wrist. There, his fingers wrapped around and held on.

Not quite holding hands, but something close.

You dug your face further into his bicep, feeling the contour of it under your cheek and Joe slowly dropped his head on top of yours.

The last thing you remembered hearing were some gory slashing sounds accompanied with loud female screaming coming from the TV.

The last thing you remembered feeling was Joe’s breath that tickled a strand of your hair against your temple.

Yea.

You could just stay there forever.

Fuck rational thought and sensible life choices. They were quickly abandoned and could stay abandoned for all you cared.

Especially when you, what felt like hours later, roused awake a little when two arms lifted you from the sofa. When a voice softly shushed you, even though you made no sound. When an elbow switched off the lights, and when carefully measure footsteps carried you over into bed.

Into Joe’s bed.

You weren’t alert enough to pay attention to Joe’s turns. Hadn’t sensed where Joe was taking you from just his movements.

But the overwhelming scent as you were placed down onto a mattress told you all you needed to know.

With your eyes still closed, your arms searched for Joe across the bed, and you let out a soft whine when you couldn’t find him.

Joe was as quick as he could be.

Rushed around the bed and slid under the covers right into your awaiting arms.

You shifted until you fit together just right.

Comfortably wrapped up, legs wedged in between other legs, arms nudged into crooks of necks and circled around waists. Nose to nose, this time. Close. Sharing breath.

When Joe accidentally bumped his nose against yours, it startled him slightly.

Maybe that was too close.

But then you did something you’d never done before and you nuzzled. Let your noses slide together until those too fit together just right.

Joe knew he shouldn’t think of next steps. Of forward ones. Steps that moved whatever was happening between the two of you along.

But, fuck it.

Tell him how he couldn’t.

Look at how fucking close you were.

And sure, you were just flatmates who did this sometimes. It didn’t have to mean anything, because it hadn’t really meant anything so far.

And yet...

Joe opened a careful eye to steal one last look before he’d let himself drift off, and even though he looked at you with eyes all out of focus, the sight of you made things grow behind his ribs.

He was going to stop pretending this was normal, he promised himself.

Because all of it did mean something.

This carried meaning.

Carried colossal meaning.

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The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma77645, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @miserybeans, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #icallhimjoey #define close

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muddyorbsblr · 11 months

Text

a sizing mishap

See my full list of works here!

This story (and in turn this entire collection) wouldn't have happened if I weren't inspired by this comment from the amazing @lokischambermaid. Thank you for the thot!! 💖🫡

Summary: You hand Player #6 his uniform but it's the wrong size…

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: 18+ | smut-ish at the end (minors & pearl clutchers, don't try me. not today); language; side-eye worthy behavior from less than minor character at the beginning [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: trust the process, and let me know if you caught on to the hints 😉

It was slowly and surely getting a touch too stuffy in this tiny room you were stationed in for the day. You knew that it was the misfortune that would befall the newbie on the crew but it didn't ease your frustration any. No amount of guzzled water or time spent holding your handheld fan down your shirt could help the fact that the entire room felt like you were slowly being cooked sous vide.

And as if your predicament wasn't uncomfortable and mentally taxing enough, you had to do an inordinate amount of moving about from scouring through the piles of jerseys and shorts to hand off to the various players because most of them hadn't even bothered to fill out the order forms with their size weeks prior to today. To make things even more interesting, some of the men thought themselves charmers and attempted to flirt with you while you were already under enough undue stress.

Your therapist was definitely going to hear about your exchange with that former tatted up boybander who answered your question of "Size, Sir?" with an overconfident "More than big enough for you, luv."

At least you were proud of your deadpanned response of "Somehow I highly doubt that" that made him grumble out his actual answer of "Medium". Another uninterested look that carefully examined his torso and legs and you made the executive decision to hand him some sets in a size XS instead.

"This isn't a Medium. Can you even read?" he snapped at you, waving the uniforms in his clenched fist.

"It's your size, sir," you shot back, your tone still deadpanned and unwavering despite the temper he was showcasing. "If you don't believe me you're more than free to try it on behind that curtain there. If I'm wrong then I will gladly assist you and hand you a set in the next size up."

It only took a few minutes for him to stomp behind the curtain, try on the uniform, and then stomp all the way out of the tiny room without another word. Guess you handed him the correct size after all.

You had a few minutes to breathe after that first wave of players walked through, allowing you to prepare yourself for the sweat-inducing task of moving about the piles once again when the next batch came in and told you they didn't input their sizes, either. At this point, you jokingly told yourself that you'd outright kiss the first one who actually had a size next to their name on the sheet.

"Name?" you called out when you heard the door open again, already facing the surplus of extra unlabeled uniforms to thumb through the piles.

"Douglas," the woman answered, chuckling when you let out a sigh of relief finding a size next to her name on the chart. "I take it some of my teammates didn't give you their sizes in the form?"

"Try nearly all of them so far," you huffed to confirm. "It's been so bad that I was telling myself that I'd kiss the first person who actually had a size next to their name on this damn thing." You waved the printed papers of the chart around to punctuate your point, making her laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Well I think you'd be better off saving that promise for the one coming after me, assuming that he filled out the sizing form. Trust me, you'll probably want to pass on lil ol' me. Then again he might not be up for it considering he does have a very pretty lass that--come to think of it, from what I know about her, kind of looks like you…?"

"Now I'm intrigued," you teased, turning around to the comparatively small pile of labeled uniforms and handed her the one with "DOUGLAS" written on the top. "There you go. Good luck out there."

"Thanks. And good luck to you too it's like a brazen bull in here, bloody fuck."

You waved her off, already holding your tiny fan down your shirt again and just trying to take deep, slow breaths to try and lower your body temperature somewhat. The sound of the door opening again nearly had you whining to any deity listening to give you at least fifteen minutes to cool down before having to deal with another conveniently forgetful soul. "Name?" you all but sighed out.

The effort it took for you to fight back a face splitting grin at the name and buttery smooth voice that reached your ears should have gotten you some form of accolade in the realm of sheer Herculean level restraint. "Hiddleston."

You perused the charts, pursing your lips to keep yourself stoic upon seeing that the field beside his name was, in fact, not blank. "Just a moment, Sir." There was a very faint mumbling coming from the towering man a few feet from you while you retrieved his uniforms from the pile of labeled bundles, an expression nearly as stoic as your own on his face when you handed him the parcel. "There you go."

He gave you a soft smile, holding you captive in an oceanic gaze that you had to practically pry yourself away from and at least pretend to busy yourself with the paperwork on the little desk.

Suddenly all the bravado you had facing all those hubristic men from earlier melted away, as if karma had literally deflated it out of you as some warped retaliation for your earlier behavior. He didn't even have to do fuck all anything and you could feel your pulse skyrocketing and your body overheating that had nothing to do with the current climate of the even more seemingly cramped and overcrowded room.

But then he spoke.

"Erm…I truly hate to be a bother but…this isn't the correct size."

Your eyes snapped up to meet his, showing him your visible shock. "That--That can't be. This came straight from the suppliers, they're the ones that labeled these all."

"I understand that but…these are a size Small. I distinctly remember leaving instructions for y--For my partner to input a Medium."

Another look through the chart had the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. "It…it says Small," you choked out, visibly struggling to meet his eyes again. "I'm--I'm so sorry, let me see what I can do, I'll make a few calls and-and--"

"No no no, hey hey…" he called out, placing the parcel back on the table before placing his hands on your arms in a gentle hold. "Calm down. It's alright, just breathe." He started running his hands up and down your arms, the motion calming you almost instantly, before sneaking a glance at your little nameplate on the table. "Y/N, just breathe for me, sw--Breathe for me, alright?"

The motions of his hands began to guide you through your breathing, feeling your racing pulse begin to mellow down. "I'm--really sorry about that, it's just I'm new here and this is gonna get me in some serious trouble if I end up fumbling and blundering like--"

"You're going to be alright, it's not that big of a deal, really," he told you in a reassuring tone, squeezing your shoulders lightly before letting go and picking up his jerseys and shorts again. "It's only one size down, I'll make it fit." His free hand twitched toward you briefly, some bizarre part of you instinctively itching to reach for him in turn, but your more rational mind decided against it and sat back on your little seat.

"There's something off about you," you rambled, shuffling the papers of the chart once more and reaching for a pen. "You're way too understanding and mild-mannered for this industry."

He hesitated before taking the pen from you, holding your hand in his as he asked, "Would you mind if I tried it on? Just to be sure." There was the slightest twitch in his eye, as if he was about to wink before he made the split second decision not to, and all you could do at that moment was look up at him with the most foolishly dumbstruck look on your face.

"N-Not at all. Go--Go right ahead, there's a curtain over--Ohh okay then that…works…too," you mumbled to near incoherence as he proceeded to undo the buttons on his thicker overshirt, shrugging the garment onto the floor before giving his light blue button down the same treatment.

Get a hold of yourself. Pick your jaw off the ground you're embarrassing yourself, you hissed inwardly, reminding yourself that you were about to be in the presence of a lot of shirtless men this entire weekend throughout all the practices and promotional events, not to mention the game itself on Sunday. But none of those guys look like this. Look like a literal god among men.

All the while he never broke eye contact with you, holding you hostage in a stormy gaze as if daring you to look away while he effortlessly pierced through the plastic that contained the jerseys. You did your best not to fixate your eyes on the sinewy, well-defined muscles that were moving fluidly with every minute movement of his hands, holding his gaze with all the confidence you could muster.

He made a show of unfolding the shirt in slow, deliberate movements, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in a smirk when he noted the visible movement of your neck from a strained effort in swallowing and calming yourself. It was only then that he put the shirt over his head in one fluid motion, the fabric stretching taut across his chest and threatening to burst at even the most minute flex of muscle.

The internet is about to have a field day and I am about to get kicked out of this committee, you thought to yourself. And on your first year, no less. You should've known it was a bad idea to agree to the invitation just because your boyfriend encouraged you to.

"It's not too bad, is it?" He swung his arms around to test his range of motion, before raising his hands above his head in a stretch, causing the borderline illegally tight fabric to ride up on his abdomen, exposing his lower stomach.

You could barely hold in your composure as you choked out, "It looks…manageable." You held out your pen in his direction again. "You just uhm…need to sign on the chart."

He approached you with a certain sway to his step that vaguely reminded you of a wolf stealthily assessing its prey, fingers slowly brushing across your skin as he took the pen from your hand and uncapped the pen by placing the cap between his teeth. When he finished signing his name on the chart, his eyes never left yours as he recapped the pen and placed it back into your hand, his large palm engulfing your entire hand in a warmth you couldn't even bother to complain about despite the stale humid air of the room.

"There you are, darling," he rasped. "No harm done. You won't get into any trouble with your superiors because of me, don't you worry your lovely little head." You watched with bated breath as he turned around and bent at the waist to pick up the discarded shirts, putting that ass that the internet shamelessly thirsts over and stares at for hours on end mere feet before your naked eyes.

I have no idea if my job is cursed or if it might just be the best thing that ever happened to me, you thought helplessly to yourself, watching as he stood back upright and turned again to face you, giving you a small wave as he exited the room.

You fought the urge to hold your tiny fan down your pants after that exchange.

The sound of your phone chiming with a new message brought you out of your stupor, a smile finding its way onto your face as soon as you saw your boyfriend's name on the screen.

"Are you alright? Have you eaten since you got there? Make sure you're drinking lots of water, I hear it's going to be sweltering today. I love you and I miss you already, goddess."

Just the mere thought of how he'd taken the time to type out the message despite how busy you knew he was had you biting your lip to try even slightly to prevent yourself from letting out a stream of giggles like you were back in school all over again. You could feel the ache in your heart as you began to feel your own yearning beginning to intensify after his message.

"I just have a few more people to hand off their uniforms to and then I'll go get some food. Thank you for checking in on me. I love you and I miss you more than you know."

The rest of the day was thankfully a bit more merciful towards you. Once you'd handed out all the uniforms and put all the surplus jerseys and shorts into a merch pile for audience members to purchase before entering the stadium proper and perhaps have the players sign at the end of the game, the hours up until training was over were spent outdoors coordinating with press photographers, making sure that security was on peak alertness in case anyone managed to sneak through the cracks, and confirming that everything was in place for some hot sauce challenge that would take place tomorrow.

You also made a note to take one of those bottles home since you were running low. Only if you could, of course.

When the fields were empty and you were locking down the press room for the night, you heard someone walk into the otherwise quiet room. "I had the most interesting conversation with some of the other players today." The sound of the man's rich, velvety voice had your heart violently pounding in your chest. "About you."

You took a few steadying breaths before you addressed your unexpected visitor, your back still turned to him as you finished writing down the names on the media passes for tomorrow morning. "And what is it that I can do for you, Mr. Hiddleston?"

The sound of his footsteps slowly approaching you had a thrill running up your spine, making you abruptly stand to attention when you felt large hands rest on your waist. "One of them told me about how you were tempted to…what was it again? Ah yes…you said something about kissing the first player that actually had their size on the chart?" You bit back a smile, looking out the window to double check that nobody was lurking and trying to peer into the room as he wrapped his arms around your waist. "Now Douglas told me that allegedly it was her, and she passed it on to whoever came next. And if memory serves me right…I believe that would mean that immensely fortunate player was…myself."

He'd leaned in so close at this point that his lips were grazing the shell of your ear. "This is highly unprofessional," you mumbled, barely able to contain your smile now.

"I don't care. I've been thinking about you all day." Fingers ghosted up the length of your spine while his nose traced a line from the shell of your ear down to a very specific weak spot on the juncture between your neck and shoulder. You went nearly limp in his hold the second you felt him press a soft kiss to that same spot, his free hand deftly undoing the ribbon you had holding your hair up before weaving his fingers through your hair. "Take this as me officially breaking character. I've missed you, goddess."

The groan he let out against your skin turned you into putty in your boyfriend's arms. "One day," you giggled out. "You lasted barely one day."

Over the last few years since you'd gotten together, whenever you were both signed on to a project, you tried to commit to this bit of "staying private and professional" throughout the course of the project, so as to not draw too much attention to the fact that you were involved. It had come to the point where it collectively slipped the mind of the general public that you two were actually still, in fact, happily together and borderline maddeningly in love. And it also granted you both a comfortable enough sense of privacy, which you were immensely grateful for and neither of you ever dared take for granted.

On previous projects, he would 'break character' within the course of a few hours, and you had a feeling that the only reason it took him nearly a day this time around was that you two weren't around each other as much due to him practicing for the game, and you running around the entire facility.

"I have to be honest, though," you started, letting out a squeal as he abruptly turned you around in his arms to face him, pulling your body flush against his. "For a second there I thought this would be a first and I would break character. This afternoon." It was a good thing that he was currently holding you upright with the way he was looking at you through hooded eyes, his chest heaving through that one size too gloriously small shirt; if you were left to stand on your own, your knees would've buckled the second he touched you. "If you kept up that goddamn striptease for even two more seconds I might have caved."

He smirked at you when you a tiny yelp slipped through your lips as he placed his hands on the backs of your thighs and easily lifted you into his arms. "I'll have to try a bit harder next time," he whispered, walking until you felt your back make contact with the wall. "I believe you owe me a kiss, sweetheart."

You crossed your hands behind his neck, leaning in to give him the quickest peck to his lips. "There you are," you teased, letting out a stream of giggles against his lips when he grabbed the back of your head and pressed you against the wall before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. He let out a desperate sounding moan into your mouth as his arm around you tightened and his fingers tangled into your hair. As if he couldn't possibly get enough of you. Or as if you hadn't seen each other for months.

"Where are you staying?" he rasped when he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath.

"I have a room that I'm sharing with 2 more members from the committee--"

"That won't do," he cut you off, pressing his lips to your jaw and kissing a trail down your neck. "You're staying with me. I already despise the mornings that I wake up away from you, it's cruel and unusual punishment if I go to sleep tonight alone knowing full well that you're here in another room." You stifled a moan when he proceeded to suck a bruise onto your neck, already anticipating the questions from your fellow committee members in the morning when they catch sight of it.

"I uhh--ohh fuck--I'll need to get my things," you stammered, leaning your head back and arching into his kiss to expose more of your neck to him. "My clothes--"

"You won't need them, darling," he retorted, smirking against your skin when you let out a squeak trying to feign protest against his words. "Say yes," he pleaded between kisses. "Stay with me." He kissed his way up to the corner of your mouth. "Don't deny me the simplest joy of getting to wake up with you in my arms."

Those were the words that did you in. "Okay, okay yes," you breathed out, your moan muffled by him once again capturing your lips in a kiss that threatened to steal you of every last breath you had left.

Neither of you seemed to care in the slightest if you crossed paths with anyone on your way to his suite, Tom adorably refusing to let your feet touch the ground as he carried you down the halls. "There was one more thing that some of the players mentioned…Something about you being able to assess their sizes and giving them their correct fitting instead of the size that they told you they were?"

Dammit, the boybander told on me, you grumbled to yourself, meeting your boyfriend's gaze with your worst attempt at an innocent smile. "Aaaand…what about it?"

"You've known my measurements since they sent in the roster form," he started with a knowing smirk, causing you to purse your lips and basically out yourself that you knew exactly where he was going with this.

"I did…"

"Did you intentionally input the wrong size?"

Biting your lip before letting out a fit of near uncontrollable giggles told him more than a spoken admission ever could. "I might have…"

"And I would also be right to assume you had everything to do with the swapped out trousers in my bag?"

Your giggles got louder, practically giving the entire floor a homing beacon signal to where you were, take one look at your current positions, and give them a vivid idea of what type of noises they would expect to hear throughout the night.

"I had to do it," you managed to say between laughs. "For Tumblr."

You held on to him a bit tighter when he went to unlock his door, pressing the keycard to the scanner and balancing you on a single arm, and giving him the perfect opportunity to kiss yet another particularly sensitive spot behind your ear. He let out a seductively dark chuckle against your skin when your giggles had morphed into moans.

"Naughty little goddess," he rasped, tracing his lips along your shirt's neckline as he laid you down on the bed and then proceeding to kiss a path down your clothed torso until he reached the hem of your shirt. His hands traveled up your body, working the fabric up and over your head, kissing and licking and biting at a leisurely pace at every sliver of skin that was exposed to him.

Once the shirt was up to your raised hands, he hovered his face above yours, capturing your lips in another languid, decadent kiss that had you sighing against him as a warm contentment washed over you. You'd only realized now how much you actually missed him since having to leave your home yesterday to come here and begin preparations with the rest of the committee. All day you were so caught up with finalizing every meticulous detail you had control over it was almost like your mind didn't allow you to feel how much you were yearning.

"What am I going to do with you, my darling little menace?" he murmured against your lips, your combined moans filling the room as he licked into your mouth, your tongues meeting in a tangle long practiced and perfected over the years. You quickly tossed your shirt aside to free your hands and pull him closer, giving him the perfect leeway to unclasp your bra.

"Whatever you want," you gasped once you both pulled away, the silliest grins on both your faces as your hands fumbled for the hem of his jersey. "I love you and I've missed you more than you know."

"Shouldn't have said that, my love," he growled, pushing you back down on the bed so that your back was flat against the mattress, a near filthy moan escaping you when he hooked your legs around him and rolled his hips into yours. "There's a lot of pent up energy in me." He proceeded to summarize what he'd spent the day doing, punctuating each item with a thrust of his hips. "Running." Thrust. "Dribbles." Thrust. "Shooting drills." Thrust. "Endorphins are running amok. You understand, don't you, darling?"

"Let me repeat myself," you said breathlessly, crossing your ankles and pulling his hips to yours and making him let out the most delicious stuttered moan. "You can do whatever you want."

A/N: Suddenly those reblogs I did of 'one look and they'll know' are making sense, huh? 😉😈 Welcome to the Soccer Aid 2023 Hiddles collection! As of writing this Author's Note, there are going to be 5 stories in this collection, the next one being 'a tale of ice baths and hot sauce' which covers the Elementals challenge video, and I'm already working on it as we speak. 🫠

everything taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-zie @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @anukulee

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston imagine #muddyorbs writes

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ninadove · 9 months

Note

watching character ai lukadrien create the most heart wrenching debilitatingly angsty love story to ever love story ever

Hey, I can tell there’s no malice behind your ask, but — don’t do that.

I write fanfiction myself, and a lot goes into it:

1. Unreasonable amounts of ✨ Time and Effort ✨

Just the other day, my WIP kept me up until 2 AM, because I wanted it to be neatly polished before even sending it to my beta readers (@paracosmicfawn and @dragongutsixofficial). The first thing I did the following morning was re-read it again, to correct any typos and inconsistencies my tired brain might have missed the night prior.

2. Research and analysis

For a cute little Lukadrien scene I wrote with my ✨ awesome girlfriend ✨ — something that was never even going to be published — I went through a dozen different sources trying to get a better understanding of what meditation actually is and to capture the philosophy behind it accurately. This does not make me special — all authors do it out of dedication and love for their craft, but it’s energy that could be spent doing literally anything else, especially when you consider how horrifyingly lonely the writing process can be (see point 1).

Also, there’s a reason I spend so much time making analysis posts on Silly Little Blorbos who do not exist! It gets my brain running and allows me to sharpen my understanding of the characters, so I can write them properly in my works.

3. A unique perspective on the characters, the source media, and life in general

Which gives all the flavour to my favourite AO3 works out there.

Like, yes, that extract you sent in your follow-up ask is cute, I guess, but it’s also incredibly generic:

When actual living breathing human (or Senti) beings share their work with you, they’re inviting you to a special part of their brain that they’ve decorated with their own experiences, references and visuals — things that they love and passed onto their favourite characters, so they can hopefully reach you. For instance, Character AI would never have had the genius idea to compare Felix’s eyes to an aurora borealis; this could have only sparked from @wackus-bonkus-maximus’ brain. Similarly, my version of Felix will often reference works of art and literature that left a strong impact on me as a child — an impact I’m sure can also be sensed in my approach to storytelling and even in the way I structure sentences and paragraphs.

Which leads me to my final and most important point:

4. EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE™

Because let’s be real — there’s a reason our brains latch onto certain characters, and said reasons aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. I’ve cried more writing about the Senticousins than over the loss of certain people or relationships in my own life. Long before that, I latched onto Clive and gave him everything I felt was missing from my life as a teenager, so I could live vicariously through him. And of course, I always make my characters some flavour of queer, because for a long time this was the only outlet I got for my own feelings and identity.

It takes a lot of vulnerability to put all of this on the Internet for others to read and judge, and it’s very disheartening to see that people would rather ask a machine to spit out some easily digestible but impersonal interactions than give your work a chance.

I can guarantee there are beautiful pieces of fanwork out there that will cater to your tastes and haunt you for years in a way Character AI or Chat GPT never could. And the good news is — if you don’t find anything, it means it’s time to write it yourself!

And of course, I cannot end this post without encouraging everyone to read about the writers’ and actors’ strike currently unfolding in the US.

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #luka couffaine #lukadrien #felix graham de vanily #senticousins #kagami tsurugi #feligami #professor layton #clive dove #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #writers’ strike #actors’ strike #anon asks #random ramblings

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bbyquokka · 1 year

Note

Hi lovely :) I was wondering if you can write anything fluffy with Felix where he’s on a date with his shy gf thank you <3

first date

FLUFF BELOW CUT - MINORS, AGELESS AND DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI!

warnings: gn reader, established relationship, kissing, fluff & lots of it words: 0.9k ~ (924)

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

"you look so beautiful tonight yn.” felix gives you a soft and warm smile; a smile that sets your soul on fire and butterflies to flutter erratically in your stomach.

“thank you.” you say, feeling your cheeks flush a nice pink colour. he grins before picking some food up with his fork.

felix and you met via mutual friends, what is actually meant it that, is your friends set you both up on a blind date. sure, you was annoyed that your friends did something like this (as was felix) but the more time you spent with each other, the more you realised how compatible you both are.

similar interests, thought processes. similar habits and hobbies. it's like you've met another you, but in felix form. you're both going steady, deciding to take it slow and not rush. you both thought it was best to start of with a few dates first as well as the only psychical contact being hand holding and hugs.

you have yet to kiss one another.

some days you really, really want to kiss him. those days where he is being extra (extra adorable, hyperactive, sunshine vibes) you just wanna grab his freckled cheeks and smush your lips against his

felix feels the same. as someone who's love language is touch, it's becoming increasingly hard for him to not touch you, to keep his hands off you when all he really wants, is to hold you. to feel your soft skin under his fingertips. to feel your warmth and have you hair tickle his chin as you rest on his chest.

he wants to feel your soft lips against his. your fingers in his hair as he holds you so close in fear of you being a dream.

some days he feels like he is living the dream. you're so beautiful, so gentle, so ethereal, that felix is scared to wake up one day and it be a dream. but when he sees the usual “good morning, my sunshine 💛😚” text, he breathes a sigh of relief - because you are real!

tonight is your first date with felix. you stressed you didn't want anything too fancy but felix had other plans. he booked a table at a nice restaurant, a restaurant that serves the finest of foods for x amount of money. it's not expensive per say, but it's a little on the pricy side - but that doesn't bother felix in the slightest, because you're worth every penny.

he made sure to dress up. so far, you've only seen him in casual wear. hoodies, tees, jeans. this time, he opted in black jeans (because comfort) but with a dress shirt, rolled up to his elbows and vest waistcoat, paired with a black bowtie. his blond hair slicked back to keep out of his eyes and his face left make up free. (he knows how much you adore his freckles)

you too, also tried your best. dressing in your best clothing, spraying your most expensive cologne. you want your first date with felix to be one that you will never forget.

once done with the meal, felix walks you home. you make idle chit-chat, the conversations free flowing. you're both comfortable within each other that you don't have to worry about whether you're oversharing or being too much, felix adores you for that and that brings you a huge amount of comfort.

his hands soft against yours, thumb stroking your hand as you both walk to your home. he occasionally squeezes your hand, gently pulling you into his side and kissing your forehead gently, a sweet gesture that's enough to make you mentally scream and kick your feet.

“well, this is my stop.” you say as you stand on the doorstep, facing felix.

“i guess this is where we part ways. well, until tomorrow that is.” he laugh softly.

“but we will be on video call in less than thirty minutes, lix.” you giggle. “its like we can't be apart from one another.”

“well, that's true. i want to spend all my time with you, yn.” felix steps closer to you, his hand gently placed on your hip. you wrap your arms around his neck gently, fingers interlocking behind his head.

“i want to spend all my time with you to lix.” you whisper, slowly closing the gap between you both. “thank you for tonight. you didn't have to pay.”

“no, but i wanted to.” he mumbles, eyes fluttering shut as your lips brush against each other gently. your heart thumps erratically against your ribcage, threatening to burst out. your palms become clammy, the feeling of excitement bubbling in your stomach, but you have to play cool.

“let me pay you back”

“how?”

you gently press your lips against felix's. he hums softly, moving his lips against your slowly. it's a sweet, delicate and gently kiss. a kiss that's filled with love and pent up want and desire. you tangle your fingers in his hair as you share the sweet kiss under the clear night sky, felix pulling you flush against his body.

your mind slowly goes numb, heart beating scarily fast. either because you're excited that it's finally happened, or the fact your kissing felix but your ability to breath becomes little to none. soon, you have no choice but to pull away. a soft whine of disapproval emits from felix's lips, his finger hooking under your chin before leaning in once more.

“just a bit longer. i don't want this night to end, not yet anyways.”

note: thank you for the request anon. it got my own heart fluttering, ngl! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i’d love to hear your thoughts ‹3

tags [open]: @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @hyunluvxo ; @writerracha

#anon — 👥#skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz soft hours #skz soft thoughts #stray kids soft hours #stray kids soft thoughts #lee felix #felix #felix fluff #felix x you #felix x reader #lee felix fluff #lee felix x you #lee felix x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

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gaysetokaibas · 6 months

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i don't think kaiba is materialistic in the way that he has to own the most expensive things or cares about being seen as classy, but i do think he does it out of an obsessive need for quality and perfection.

random hc that came to me:

seto kaiba gets obsessed with mechanical keyboards. it's not because he thinks they're something super beautiful or that he particularly likes them, but in my vision, he's working at the office and gets randomly really frustrated by his work. it's a lot of effort, deadlines aren't lining up, whatever the reason, but everything feels like it's going wrong.

in particular, the sound of his clack-y generic keyboard is pissing him off. he can't fix the scheduling and production issues, but he can fix this.

so, he spends any free time he can researching the best parts. he buys multiple different switches, different boards, plates, foam, stabilizers... he tries dozens of combinations until he can find something that finally fixes the frustration in his bones, until he's spent thousands on miscellaneous parts and pieces. he gets there, eventually, and when yugi comes to his office he takes note of the fancy looking keyboard and goes "wow, i didn't know you were such a keyboard enthusiast" and he's not. its just how he finds some semblance of control in his life amidst everything else.

in my head, kaiba does this often. a lot of people just think he's the type to gain and abandon multiple hobbies or interests because of it, but really its how he keeps himself sane. he just fixates on something that he can actually fix and control when things around him are spiraling. he finds the most extravagant and niche watch designs that satisfy every minute thing he could want, while keeping the aesthetics that he prefers, before proceeding to mass-manufacture them as an excuse of "it's for the business." his suits are tailored to perfection, because when he's frustrated and over-stimulated, he hates the way certain stitches feel against his skin or how the forms look in the mirror. he ends up spending exorbitant amounts of money in the process, but doesn't realize it until weeks after it's passed.

joey def hates this, by the way, because he can relate but it's not the same. most people don't really get why kaiba does this stuff, but joey picks up on it instantly. he's the type of person who, when struggling with something, he pours himself into a new video game or a new duel monsters deck archetype and studies it obsessively, and when it's reflected in kaiba he's upset because its just another habit that they share, but he feels like he has to work for whereas kaiba is just throwing money at the wall until he's happy again.

idk how to end this post so stan seto kaiba i guess

#ygoau.txt #seto kaiba #yugioh #ygo #kaiba #headcanons #ofc #jounouchi katsuya #joey wheeler

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agoodficforchii · 1 year

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I Don’t Do Love

Fandom: Genshin Impact Pairing: Xiao x Reader Word Count: 910 Summary: You've grown to love Xiao, but does he feel the same? Warnings/Extra Notes: Angst, Slight cussing, Lumine is used as "the other girl"

In all honesty, you should've known what you were getting into when you met Xiao. Xiao, conqueror of demons, the last Yaksha Guardian, someone who wanted nothing to do with humans. Really you should have known better. But she was able to talk to him. She got close to him. He let her in. Then again, she was the Honorary Knight of Mondstat, savior of Liyue, the great traveler. What were you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You’d probably be laughing at yourself if it didn’t hurt so damn bad.

Flashback

As the sun fell into the horizon, I started approaching the familiar inn. Today was the day I’d finally tell him how I felt! Or that’s what I was telling myself. I prepared for all the outcomes possible, if he rejects me, if he accepts it, all of it. Walking up the stairs to the roof I can’t help but think about the first time Xiao and I had met. I was going to Mondstat to visit some family and decided to stay at Wangshu Inn before continuing the long trip ahead. It was already night when I checked in and instead of eating a full dinner, I skipped straight to dessert, Almond Tofu! After asking if it was possible to eat outside in a less crowded area, Verr told me the roof was mostly empty at night and that's where I headed. I expected a few people but what I didn’t expect was the last Guardian Yakasha to be leaning on the railing. After a short amount of time spent deciding whether or not to go back inside, I chose to walk up next to the lonely Yaksha. He instantly snapped his head toward my direction, scaring me to the point where I almost dropped my plate. We kind of just stared at each other for a while but I always hated awkward silences so I spoke up,

“Uh hi? I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” I quietly said.

Despite my best efforts he only turned to look forward again and the awkward silence came right back. After a short while, I noticed him glancing at my plate. Coming to the conclusion that the Archons above had graced me with a second chance to talk to the Yaksha I spoke up again,

“Would you like some?” I asked with the best smile I could muster up.

To my surprise, the Yaksha actually looked flustered. Was he not expecting the offer? Or does he not talk to people often? I snapped back after hearing his voice for the first time,

“You don’t need to offer me any,” he said, turning his head forward once again.

His voice was so soft in the quiet night. I wanted to hear it again. Finally processing his words I felt a little sad knowing he didn’t expect my offer.

“But I insist! Please have some,” I replied as quickly as I could.

Pushing the plate towards him, he hesitantly grabbed the plate and took a small bite of the desert.

“I’m [Name], it’s nice to meet you.” I decided it was a good time to introduce myself.

He glanced over at me before replying, “I’m Xiao… Thank you.”

Thinking about how close the two of us have gotten and all the time we spent together suddenly gave me a huge boost of confidence.

…

“I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you. A lot.” I had confessed in a whisper, looking anywhere but at him.

The silence that had followed my confession wasn’t the comfortable one I was used to with Xiao. No this was different. I could feel my heart pounding rapidly against my chest, silently praying he says something, anything. After a few more seconds I hesitantly looked at him, he wasn’t looking at me. Why wasn’t he looking at me? A sudden feeling of dread washed over me as I stood there frozen in place. I reminded myself about how I prepared for rejection, it would be okay, we could still be friends. Everything would be okay. Right? A few more seconds pass and I finally see his lips move,

“[Name]...”

…

It’s been a couple days since that incident. I wanted to forget about it. I wanted to run away. I wanted Hu Tao to bury me already. But I couldn’t, no I said I would stay friends with him. No matter how much it hurt, I wanted to stay friends with him. So here I was, walking up the familiar steps up to the rooftop ready to face him. I stopped at the entrance, suddenly feeling deja vu. I see the back of the man I had come here to see. A slight smile fell on my lips as I started to walk forward. I stopped (again) when I noticed there was someone else with him. I recognized that blonde hair anywhere, the traveler. Now normally I wouldn’t stay and eavesdrop, but hell what else do I have to lose now. It’s been a minute and nothing’s happened. I was about to leave when I heard it. He laughed. Laughed might be too generous of a word. It was more like a really small chuckle, maybe a huff? But he was smiling. He was happy. He was happy with her.

“I don’t do love” He had told me that night.

I believed him.

But I was wrong. He didn’t do love for me. He loved for her.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #xiao x you #xiao x reader #xiao angst #xiao genshin impact #x reader #character x reader

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notmorbid · 11 months

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you made a fool of death... pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from you made a fool of death with your beauty by akwaeke emezi.

i didn't mean to trade war stories. i'm sorry.

i'm sorry for the hurt that lives in your heart.

i wish i could tell you it gets easier.

did you ever love again?

there's no such thing as an inappropriate question.

you don't mind being watched?

you always seem so alone.

i've never hidden who i am from you.

i'd like to think that we're becoming friends.

there are so many different types of love. different types of ways to stay committed.

this is the most bisexual conversation i've had in a long time.

you're being secretive, even for you.

we're friends first, right?

i didn't realize you were sappy like that.

of course you're on time when food's involved.

you look like a troublemaker.

it would be ridiculous to be jealous of a ghost.

there are moments that break timelines.

i have to lock up. for real, this time.

you look like you're about to assassinate someone.

something inside me just never stopped screaming.

when did hell freeze over? did i miss the memo?

you think i'd let someone else cook a dinner in my house?

i want to be someone i can recognize.

grief can feel like a lifetime of venom, spikes piercing through us.

what i really want to do is curl up in bed and cry.

no, i'm not awake. i'm sleep-talking.

i don't think i've ever seen you actually drunk.

you're lucky to have me, voice of reason and perspective.

if i keep moving, i won't have time to think.

there are some things that need to stay and die in last night.

you can put me down now.

when you held me, i thought i was going to break.

can't we just skip the talking part?

was it just a kiss for you?

i only ask one thing: don't lie to me.

i will hold anything you tell me with care. just please let it be the truth.

i don't know how to say what i want. it's like i've got all these voices yelling at me about how mad and fucked up it all is.

i'm terrified i'll say something and you'll look at me like i'm out of my mind.

i like being alone next to you. like our alones might walk side by side.

you are so generous with your heart.

you were like light. i couldn't help but turn my face to you, if i wanted to keep living.

i've spent a significant amount of time trying to change my feelings into something else, but i can't.

i am so tired of denying myself.

it's ridiculous how much i love watching you smile.

i can feel you staring, you know.

you okay? where did you go?

tell me what you're feeling. i'll take whatever it is, over you pushing me away.

i don't want to go back there. it feels like a place that could eat me alive if i did, even just by talking about it.

you have me for as long as you want, however much or as little as you want. i'm not going anywhere.

i have a hard time processing platonic affection.

you're messing with me. you've gotta be messing with me.

you know you can always just come home, right?

i guess 'messy and alive' is a good way to put it.

would you like to go on a walk? i have something to show you.

i've never done anything to hurt you, have i?

don't even say my name. keep it out of your mouth.

i want you to be okay, more than anything. tell me what you need.

i'm here. why are you trying to make me go away?

what will you do when you get tired of me?

i can still feel the shape of the hole left in my heart.

you're always so angry when you're in pain.

i'm here to take whatever spikes you throw at me, always. forever.

i appreciate your concern, but let me take care of myself. okay?

do what you gotta do to be happy.

this shit you want to know, it doesn't belong to you. it's not your business.

i love how you lean into grief and somehow use it to become even more alive.

i'm happy just to be with you, however you'll have me.

thank you for coming into my home.

#sentence starters #rp memes #rp meme #ask memes #inbox memes #romance meme

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alicelufenia · 22 days

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I have finally finished my first BG3 playthrough

Gonna go into HUGE detail below the cut over all my thoughts, including spoilers of potentially everything I've encountered in the game (and maybe a few I haven't but already know about)

Playtime

Might as well just start with the obvious question: what was my playtime?

A little over 344 hours.

Granted that's total playtime, I spent a lot of time (though not as long as you'd think) in act 1 with several characters that didn't go anywhere, only actually progressing with Alice after like a month of waffling on what/who to play. Or going back to old saves to take screenshots or record for gifs (which reminds me, I can go back and make all sorts of gifs now if I want) or to test my extremely scientific tumblr posts on how to recruit Minthara by giving her a concussion.

Total ACTUAL playtime for my main tav

A more respectable 189 hours, not counting the epilogue which was like, an hour tops.

While I played a ton in 2023, my opportunity to play has been hampered this year somewhat. Which is why it took me til March to finish when I reached act 3 in DECEMBER. That's three months to get to Act 3, but but 4 months to finish it. And I didn't even do all the sidequests! I gave up on the painter's wife and the necromancy guy, and didn't even start the Umberlee thing (is that even a sidequest? I honestly don't know) Which still amounts to doing a LOT anyway, and not having the tiefling npcs around didn't feel like it impacted much outside of a lack of a vendor.

The Grove and Minthara

Speaking of which, I guess I should talk about my act 1 choices, and why I went with raiding the grove and romancing Minthara for my first playthrough (a thing that seems to be incredibly rare from what I've seen of poll responses here)

When you don't want to admit you committed mass murder for some pussy, and maybe a chance to save the world I guess

In short, my plan was for my Sorcadin (Oath of Glory Paladin/Shadow Sorcerer) to have a lapse in act 1 and break her oath in an attempt to get close to Minthara and sway her from the Absolute, before fighting to defend the grove and restoring her oath in the process, but that act would leave a stain on her soul (the levels of Shadow Sorcerer thanks to a mod).

But then I fell absolutely head over heels for her. Oops.

This was back before a way to recruit her while saving the tieflings was a part of the game, and for whatever reason I didn't want to use the mod that let you do it. So I thought, I'll split my saves at the grove battle where I betray or side with the tieflings. So betraying them is, well an ordeal for sure, but then Minthara's scene.

Oh boy

HAAAAAA

So yeah, after completing all that and then going back and fighting for the grove, I thought about it for like a week or two before deciding, screw playing the game twice with this split point, I'll continue from the betray the grove point, see where this goes. And just like that my character goes from a faltering hero to a fallen one. Instead of immediately restoring her oath, she would remain an oathbreaker for the rest of act 1 and nearly all of act 2.

Act 2

By far the biggest impact your choices in act 1 have are on your path through act 2. Technically you can go either way (meeting the harpers and reaching Last Light Inn first, or following Kar'niss' caravan straight to Moonrise Tower) regardless of your actions, but the game nudges you subtly to one or the other, mainly by pointing to where your potential allies will be. So I wound up at Moonrise first, and I had Minthara recruited very early in Act 2.

Essentially I did the act backwards compared to how many people would do it, going from Moonrise, to the surrounding town, to Last Light, then the Monastery, the Gauntlet of Shar, and finally the assault on Moonrise. My party's turning point to "good guys" during all this was basically right when they fight to defend Isobel at Last Light, making that particularly hard fight feel really meaningful to the story (it weirds me out how many people recommend skipping it, like what just save before, it's hard but not impossible)

This resulted in Act 2 having this seemingly intended escalation to it; we are at our lowest on the way to Moonrise. The dream visitor scene you can get on the way is really good here, they ask you how you felt about what happened to the grove. Very funny how they have an encouraging answer whether you say you don't care or you regret it. Especially after we find out who they really are.

Exploring the NPCs at Moonrise feels like a weird dark mirror of the grove, all these seemingly normal people doing their thing but talking about committing the worst atrocities so casually. Then you run into Minthara—your one real ally here—and she's been made a prisoner? By a seemingly immortal general! Seriously seeing Ketheric before hearing Jaheira's summary of him is a trip. And then I went to free Minthara from her prisoners, getting advantage on the wisdom check to break her free of the Absolute's voice cause of my previous relationship with her, and oh wow this is like the second best scene in the game this was the best decision I ever made in a game! Now let's make these bastard cultists bleed!!

Oh I was all in on Minthara's side at that point.

And yet weirdly ready to try and be a hero again. Alice had a purpose again, and allies willing to see it through. Though Wyll and Karlach had abandoned her at the grove, she was now invested in those who remained, and begins striving to lead them better. She strikes her first blow against the cultists by killing Marcus, and at the Gauntlet of Shar, while at first I tried to push Shadowheart toward sparing the Nightsong (which went horribly bad) instead Alice said she doesn't like it, but doesn't want to lose her, so she'll back her up no matter her choice.

And Shadowheart chose to spare the Nightsong. And I was introduced to my OTHER favorite character in the whole game, Dame Aylin!

And now the act hits its highest point. Having Minthara with me for the assault on Moonrise feels SO right, she has dialogue with Z'rell, a reason to be there in every fight to come, the final battle is

JUST

It's so cool.

And then Minthara has one of if not her best scene in the whole game

Not only this line, but her whole speech on Orin, her continued quest for vengeance, with the ultimate goal of replacing the Chosen Three and becoming the Absolute. And shortly after Minthara confesses to her, and I was so blown away that it happened so early!

This was also when her romance was still a shambling pile of broken flags, and I was so happy it actually worked I immediately restored Alice's oath, as she renews her vow to seek legendary heights of glory (by seizing the elder brain).

Leaving the shadowlands and heading to act 3 also leads to the last (major) change caused by my choices in act 1; the shadow curse remains. I did attempt Art's quest, which ended when we had to confirm that Halsin was dead (or so we thought, but wait until I talk about that much later!), leaving the curse unliftable.

And honestly, probably the biggest let down I've noticed about the 'good' path through act 2 versus the more 'evil' one I took is that, the curse kinda never stops being a problem in the evil path, while the good path trivializes it so early. Once you get a hold of a Moon lantern (which you can do early if you turn on Kar'niss and then on the harpers), you can just release Dolly Dolly Dolly and be safe from basically all of the curse. If you maintain your cover as a cultist, Kar'niss disappears until the end of the arc, at which the moon lantern he drops has a dead Dolly in it, so no permanent buff (not that it would matter at that point). And the moon lantern you can pick up in Balthazar's room doesn't have a pixie to release.

I dunno, you can already lift the curse in the good playthrough, seems like an odd choice to make it more trivial in that one than the other path. Still, having to manage our moon lantern use throughout the whole area, kinda made exploring it feel more significant, and knowing when it was safe or not to put away the lantern made it at least a little more interesting to explore certain areas, whereas players on the good path probably don't even know there are individual buildings with a deeper curse that even the Selunite blessing doesn't protect, necessitating still using the lantern.

So despite not having Halsin's whole quest with Art, Thaniel and Oliver, I still KINDA prefer the way it played out for me. Might change my mind in the future if I actually do that quest line, Thaniel and Oliver are interesting enough characters to make that worthwhile from what I've seen.

Act 3

At this point I've been playing for 3 months and I finally make it to act 3. The mission here being "get Minthara's approval as high as possible without breaking your oath". In short:

Crushed it. And no oath broken.

But before that, we had to deal with the little problem of Orin's kidnapping victim being Minthara. For SOME reason, Minthara is the only companion who can be abducted even if she's currently being romanced (she just has to not be in the party at the time it happens).

Which is devastating, but also REALLY good story telling, cause you just told her not like an hour ago that you'd keep her safe from Orin.

So my first task upon entering the Lower City was "find Orin and rescue Minthara". I stepped right over that agreement to go after Gortash first, and instead tracked down a few of the Bhaalist murders, which led me to the Tribunal, standing before Sarevok to be accepted as an Unholy Assassin, not REALLY knowing what I was doing at this point, and then I'm asked to kill Valeria (who was a jerk during the investigation, but not nearly that bad) and, feeling myself up against the wall, say FUCK IT WE BALL and refused to kill her.

And Somehow. I managed to beat Sarevok, despite being surrounded by cultists buffing him up. My team was Shadowheart, Lae'zel and Gale, and lemme tell you that's POTENT (this was before I got the Markoheshkir for Gale but, turns out a level 11 Wizard is REALLY STRONG so it doesn't matter)

The way the journal updated made me worried that if I took a long rest, Minthara would be killed, so. I went looking for the Temple of Bhaal, getting lost in the sewers until I finally found it, and went to face Orin WITHOUT LONG RESTING AFTER SAREVOK.

I wasn't even at max level, or had much of the good equipment in act 3. Unstoppable is a Bitch of a mechanic, and silly me didn't prepare Magic Missle on Gale (which would have trivialized it). So I had Alice, Lae'zel, and Minthara chip-chip-chipping away at 7 stacks of Unstoppable, only occasionally getting a hit through, all while Gale provided support by burning just SO MANY high level scrolls (he ran out of slots at some point), and I forget what I was doing with Shadowheart. I still don't think I understood the mechanic, but I did get an achievement for killing Orin while the cultists were still performing their ritual, so I guess I brute-forced it like some have done with Grimm.

So, after Orin the rest of Act 3 was a breeze by comparison. Except the House of Hope, that was ALSO a bitch of a fight, and unlike Orin I had to reload after a party wipe. Just once though, I beat Raphael with just Minthara up, taking out his last 10 hp with a Psionic Backlash just as he was about to roast her with Incinerate again.

Other than those, the actual rest of Act 3 was... well, I mean it was fine. I did just about everything, found and recruited Minsc, was confused that the Emperor tries to talk you OUT of recruiting him for being too unpredictable, yet he never once raises an objection to bringing on Minthara. I dunno it made sense with my playthrough cause she basically never spent time as an enemy, but it's still WEIRD and not really a choice worth doing differently. Which will become a bit of a theme with Act 3.

As I said at the start, Act 3 took me longer than any other, but I did take my sweet time there. The sheer number of npcs that you can talk to is still incredible, I fell into some quests like the Mouth Gazette accidentally, and completing those was involved but didn't take too long.

Once I had taken out Gortash, we were basically ready to go straight to the end game. The path to it being through the Temple of Bhaal driving home the point even more that I was meant to tackle Orin last, but no WAY was my wife going to miss out on the entire Act 3.

My last big exciting moment for the playthrough was when Minthara spoke up out of nowhere while heading into the temple

That's right, I got the Alurlssrin line here, since Minthara wasn't around for it the first time I went to fight Orin. But, since the game doesn't check to see if Orin was still alive (or it did but it bugged?) I still got it anyway!

She still says we have to go kill Orin, but who cares! This was literally one of my major goals in the game, my Get Kim to Wear The Jacket of Baldur's Gate 3 (whereas that achievement was basically the best thing I did in Disco Elysium). So happy to get it my first playthrough.

High Hall

As for the end of the game, while I can see how it would be harder on higher difficulties, I still think I'd have a much harder time with earlier fights. I didn't play this optimally at all, not using elixirs nor summoning many of my allies. I kinda was worried about "using them too early" but I think you're meant to use them or they go to waste.

Now I had a lot of allies. Red dragon air support, Harpers, Guild assassins, Elite Fist unit, VOLO, and even Yurgir! I only summoned the Harpers and Yurgir, and they were fine, but I think Volo is actually the strongest ally. His "Volo's Guide to Monsters" condition that gives +2 to attacks, saves and checks, that's insanely good!

Meanwhile I was noticably missing some allies. Where were Isobel and Aylin? Where were the Gondians and the Steel Watch they're supposed to give me? Especially with the abrupt way Isobel and Aylin exited the game after Lorroakan (another choice that wasn't a real choice cause why the FUCK would I betray Aylin at that point), it was a let down. As was siding with the Gondians when Wulbren gave me zero reason to sympathize with me (it felt like a Lorroakan again, you need a reason to hate this character to refuse them, so they try to do something you would absolutely not do given the choices you've already made)

At least I finally know why people hate Wulbren, but MAN does that not feel earned.

My Final Party

Since I was locked into my party from boarding the boat to the credits, I might as well talk about who I took, and what build I used for them.

Alice (6 Paladin / 6 Sorcerer)

Pretty standard Sorcadin for my Tav, I had her wielding the Jorgal's Greatsword, eventually swapping to the Sword of Chaos (never got Balduran Giantslayer. No Wyll so I don't know what an Ansur is lol). I used mods for BOTH subclasses, Oath of Glory and Shadow Sorcerer respectively. I'm gonna be honest, Sorcadin wasn't as impressive as I was hoping it would be. First, Glory Oath has its charms (the mod user tweaked a lot as this oath is meant for grappling builds in tabletop), but the spell list was meh. Guiding Bolt didn't prove to be as useful as I hoped, and Oath of Devotion's tenets for oathbreaking works fine I guess, but doesn't quite match up perfectly.

Like I interpret it as Alice trying to become the kind of legend told in stories about truly heroic figures, hence the oath tenets making me stick with a knight in shining armor type for most choices. Still it means I could make all the best choices for my companions, so they can be the best they can be, and that's perfectly fitting for the Oath of Glory.

What made this REALLY take off was the level 6 abilities for Shadow Sorcerer, at least the version the mod maker made for Baldur's Gate. At level 6 you get Hound of Ill Omen, essentially a familiar that can perform an attack that can knock enemies prone, but you have to designate the target, which you can swap freely once each turn. You ALSO get Shadow Step, which is BONKERS in BG3 for mobility, as there's almost always some minor obscurement. She zipped around everywhere, concentrated on Haste and SMITE SMOTE all into oblivion.

Minthara (9 Paladin / 3 Rogue)

Of course I had to keep Minthara a Vengeance Paladin, it's so much of who she is. I gave her 3 levels of Thief Rogue for the extra bonus action, and the Dual Wielder feat so she could wield the Handmaiden's Mace in the offhand (letting her dump Strength) and the Devotee's Mace in main. The Alert feat basically meant she always went first, and could set up with Soul Brands or an early burst and just delete ANYTHING in one go, all while concentrating on Haste for just infinity attacks.

This build doesn't have TWF but honestly, I didn't miss it. The Handmaiden's main use is the stat boost, and it can poison, so once the target is poisoned I don't necessarily need to make attacks with it and just use all the Soul Branding I want. Or do bonus action dashes to move anywhere. And since in the end I made her partial illithid, she was BY FAR my most mobile party member, even more than Alice. Levitate + Thief Rogue's bonus actions means you can get absolutely ANYWHERE if you want.

And call me a simp but I love it when she growls "I am your death" or "No survivors" and then actually kills every mother fucker she clicks on. With Vow of Enmity up, plus The Dead Shot for lower crit rate, she critted quite a lot, especially when I gave her an elixir of viciousness (appropriate). It takes a lot to out damage a Sorcadin, but she managed.

Lae'zel (12 Fighter)

You know what's almost as good as a Sorcadin or crit-fishing Paladin, damage-wise? A Gith with 12 straight levels of Battlemaster Fighter, and the Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. She managed to out damage Minthara on the Red Dragon in the final battle, Precision Attacking with GWM to get SO MUCH damage in, the dragon was dead in like 3 turns.

Shadowheart (2 Paladin / 10 Cleric)

This was a bit of a weird one, and I would definitely do something different next time. The idea for this was, Paladin for smites and Ancients healing radiance, Light Cleric for spellcaster damage and using Sentinel to act as pseudo-tank. Selûne's Spear and Viconia's Walking Fortress with Reaper's Embrace for the highest AC in the group. Honestly this worked better than it looks on paper, mostly cause with the Amulet of Greater Health she had the most hp, and almost never lost concentration. Enemies still tried to attack her despite being more tanky, and I've had her soak up so much damage.

Next time I'm definitely going to resist the temptation to make Selûne Shadowheart a Light cleric (it's not even one of Selûne's domains) and I have some ideas for that with actual synergy with things like radiating orb, so hopefully next game she'll be more effective.

A New World for Ourselves

So we did it. Orpheus subjugated the crown, the Absolute is at our mercy. All that's left is to make that final decision. Do I destroy the brain, ridding us of the tadpoles and the threat of the Netherbrain forever, or do I betray everyone so that Minthara and I can become the Absolute.

Nothing could be more glorious! Of course I was going to pick this one!

Or do I? I mean, I could, and I did to find out what happens. But is it an ending? Maybe in the future when they make that update to the 'evil endings' that they mentioned recently, there'll be more to it. For now, it basically results in you deleting every other companion (except I believe if Minthara or Astrarion are your partner) and taking control of the Netherbrain to carry out your will with no one to stop you.

It ALSO is one of the extremely rare times that Tav/Durge gets a spoken line in a cutscene, and hearing Lynsey Murrell (voice of Tav 8) say "In my name" will sustain me for weeks. Minthara saying "In your name" so much REALLY went to her head huh.

C'mon everyone who follows me saw it coming, why do you think I made my blog name literally "In My Name"? I am cringe but I am free.

But, as of right now, this ending amounts to little more than an alternative game over, until they add an epilogue for it. There isn't even a stinger scene at the end of the credits. Oh well, I'm sure the actors will have a blast performing mind-controlled companions, when that finally comes out.

The Real Epilogue

So we did it. We ordered the brain to destroy all tadpoles (and taking away Minthara's veins and black eyes, which, they were cool, but I like her without them more) and then kill itself. Despite us being on it when it blows up, but after the gang climbs out of the river and onto the dock, we have our final moments before we go our separate ways.

btw this lady, who goes to town on a Mind Flayer to protect the tiefling kid? She's so badass and I think I love her. God I'm so weak to fearless women kicking the crap out of things, and this game just doesn't stop delivering on that front.

Minthara is taking the brain's destruction incredibly well, probably due to being rid of the tadpole at last.

I honored Orpheus' wishes and put him down so he can be a martyr for his people. Lae'zel departed to return to the Astral Plane for the war against Vlaakith, and poor Astarion had to run off cause the sun started burning him. As for Gale, I thought I had messed up his quest by not bringing him to the last battle, but he did in fact get a choice to retrieve the crown for himself or Mystra, or to leave it. I told him he should leave it. Still spiteful to Mystra, sorry not sorry, but at least he didn't make another mistake.

As we headed into the Epilogue, Minthara and I have been spending the six months weaving schemes and intrigue to take control of the city from the shadows. Probably the least evil option for Minthara's epilogue, but honestly it fits, Alice has achieved her legend status and Minthara has a genuine happy ending, not having to worry about all out warfare with her family (yet).

The Epilogue Party was as adorable as I had hoped it'd be. It was great to catch up with everyone, and it made me happy I used my oc from ffxiv, cause this is very much in line with the sort of "You fixed everything and everyone is praising you" ending the Warrior of Light gets in basically every expansion.

So after finishing the game, I have my thoughts. First off, I had such a great time, and fully intend to start another run (more on that later). I wouldn't say it's perfect; the epilogue does a good job to pad out the ending, but the base game ending after finishing the last battle is definitely pretty abrupt. But it's alleviated so much by seeing these characters I've spent so much time with, seen them struggle and grow, now finally getting closure. That still makes it worth it.

I am ashamed to admit I had to reload on the final battle after an impromptu party wipe. You'd think as a FFXIV savage raider I would be able to recognize "don't stand in the bad" mechanics and execute them perfectly since this is turn based. And not only did Shadowheart get hit by one of those nautiloid attacks, the final boss took us out because I didn't realize it'd blow up the platforms they were on. Still, as a savage raider maybe it makes perfect sense I'd have trouble not standing in bad.

There's one other thing I wanted to mention, something that a lot of people are concerned about when they play this game and I'm so happy I can say, after completing this run, that the Grove does not matter.

The Grove doesn't matter (just do it)

That's not even hyperbole, the grove literally doesn't matter. Notice I how I didn't have to mention it past act 2? That's because it matters basically only for act 2, while act 3 might as well exist on its own. Now I guess that makes sense if no npcs from the grove actually survive, since there's no one there to talk about them.

But like. Volo is right there. I saved him from cultists in act 3, and he shows up for the final battle and the epilogue, and he makes a big talk about telling my story, conveniently forgetting that whole part where I committed genocide for, as he himself noted at the time, no discernible reason.

Like I know I joke that you can raid the grove and still play the game as a 'good' character, and that's still true and I think it should at least be possible, but like. At least a mention?

I will tell you who I heard from that I was absolutely NOT expecting though:

I'm sorry, fucking who??

What?

So what seems to be going on here, is that because I never talked to Halsin after initiating "Raid the grove" in act 1, meaning he never left the goblin camp, the game never registered him as "dead" (even though you can tell Art that), but instead is treating him as "alive, and the shadowlands are still cursed"

Weird. I don't remember if I actually went back to the goblin camp and checked the worg pens to see if his body was there. But since Minthara showed up at Moonrise with his journal in her inventory, I just assumed she killed him before leaving to Moonrise.

It honestly would have been absolutely hilarious if I had gotten a "you may have saved the Sword Coast but I will never forgive you for what you did to the grove. May we never meet again" or something like that. But hey this is a party, we gotta stay upbeat!

Anyway the moral of the story is, if you haven't killed the grove yet, you should definitely kill the grove. Maybe not the one Larian intended, but it works for me.

What's Next?

I'm going to be taking a break from bg3 for a bit. There's a limited time event going on in ffxiv, and I still need to replay and finish Hi-Fi Rush (my other game of the year of 2023). After all of that, I have a few ideas for my next run, in order of preference:

Chosen of Eilistraee - Drow Bard/Rogue/Cleric (Shadowheart Romance)

I really wanna go back in and do another in-depth run as a more traditional 'chaotic good tav' like a lot of people did their first time, but with the luxury of being able to recruit every companion this time. I also really want to play through the game as a Bard, and play a more religion-focused character.

So a Drow Bard with the Cleric of Eilistraee dialogue options, and who will have a whole story involving obtaining Phalar Aluve (Eilistraee's weapon) AND Larethian's Wrath (Corellon's weapon) and dual wield them. Since Alice will no longer be my main tav after this (more below), I'll be giving this character the Guild Artisan (tav's canon background as far as I'm concerned) and she'll be my go-to heroic tav.

DU Minthara - Paladin/Sorcerer (Karlach OR Lae'zel Romance)

There's this brilliant mod that lets you play as any of the companions, Origin and non-Origin, using either Tav's or Dark Urge's dialogue. And listen. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense that Dark Urge is the perfect way to play Minthara AS an origin character.

I could romance either Karlach or Lae'zel (both incredible rarepairs, though Minthara/Karlach is less rare nowadays), but if I go with Karlach I'll HAVE to save the grove, because I don't want to risk her romance breaking if Dammon is dead. Plus fixing her engine means act 2 and 3 Karlach sex scenes with Minthara 😳 oooooh yes! Don't know if I'll be resist or embrace, but would aim for the Avernus ending. And of course with Lae'zel any way is fair game, meaning that grove is getting raided again boys!

And yes it is another Paladin/Sorcerer multiclass, don't judge me I'm going for a different level split this time and not using modded subclasses, and Storm Sorcerer is very Durge-appropriate.

Karlach Origin (Minthara Romance)

Same deal, but reverse. This will be my one concession to romancing Minthara on a 'good' playthrough. Normally I'm personally opposed to that; recruit her sure, but she needs someone willing to kill for her. That all changes with Karlach / Minthara, the tiefling has permission to concuss her and later kiss her, because she absolutely would, plus won't be around long enough to help Minthara with any of her plans anyway, so their future is either going to be brief or in Avernus (aiming for the latter as usual)

Can you tell I REALLY like this ship?

DU Alice - Paladin/Warlock (Minthara Romance)

I intend to replay Alice someday (need to let her story rest for a bit before I come back to it) this time using Dark Urge to fill in those needling holes in her background. Like just adding Durge makes everything about her character better imo. I'd play her as Oathbreaker from the start. Waking up with holes in her brain and a hole in her soul where her oath used to be, replaced by whispers of death. What even was her oath, and if she can restore it, should she? Basically a replay of my first run but with added DU angst, and a connection to Orin and Gortash that accidentally mirror her relation to Zenos and Emet-Selch in ffxiv. Neat.

Shadowheart Origin (Astarion Romance)

This one is wild, considering I don't really like Astarion (he does nothing for me, though his story and Neil Newbon's performance are both excellent). However I saw a certain Shadowstarion fanart and thought, what if they just made each other worse until we have Ascended Astarion reeking havoc for eternity alongside Dark Justiciar Vampire Shadowheart. That's all I got.

So if you read all the way to this end, thank you! I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. If you want, drop your thoughts in comments or ask, I'd love to hear them!

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wordsandrobots · 2 months

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Falling for a Fool: Afterword

A confession: I cannot get through episode 45 of Iron-Blooded Orphans, properly, without coming to the verge of tears. I have discovered that if I turn the sound off, I can make it about as far as the back half of episode 46 without that happening. Which made it a lot easier to take screenshots, but it still got me, in the end.

And that's exactly why I fell in love with this show.

It's trite, but I think everyone should have the chance to be moved by something, whatever it is and wherever it comes from. Stories, all artworks in fact, are there to make us feel something. To convey emotion and meaning, to play on the keyboard of our minds and allow us to hallucinate meaningful things in safety. A couple of years back, the thing that moved me was an anime about child soldiers in space, produced to sell model kits. It worked. I did buy a lot of model kits. I also got to have my emotions twisted to bits by a superbly crafted tragedy.

I can wax lyrical about the technicalities of that process. I can do the writerly bit, as I've said before, of pulling apart the mechanics of how this show works and why it hits me so hard. That doesn't change the fact it *does* hit me, hard, and that's why I've spent my time since first watching it writing so much about it. It was exactly what I needed to see, when I saw it, and the inspiration it has given me has been absolutely wonderful.

I guess the reason I decided to run back through the imagery of the series, and specifically that concerning Yamagi and Shino's relationship, is that I wanted to check my working. I'm nearly at the end of the huge story I developed off the back of my first fanfic for IBO, the culmination of two and a half years of work. When I post it, likely at the start of August 2024, I will have approaching 650,000 words worth of 'here's how I would do a follow-up' on Ao3. That's a lot. For me, it's a hitherto unheard-of amount of consistent work.

Yet it started, very simply, with this: how do you save Shino?

Because the end to his arc in the show is a moment of deliberate pointlessness. It's got to be, for the narrative to work. But I have a soft heart and more than that, I'd fixated on what precedes the failure of Shino's daring gambit. Those scenes between him and Yamagi throughout episode 45 and the fundamental, unintentional cruelty of asking someone who adores you to enable what is, however much it wasn't supposed to be, your suicide run.

There are any number of ways to save Shino, in the sense of imagining he wasn't actually dead when Flauros was blown off into space in the next episode. It's easy! But which option allows one to best drill into what he and Yamagi are to each other, in that moment where he finally demonstrates he isn't the totally oblivious himbo after all? What is the method that allows them to come together again, not as comet and tail, but something more equal? Something that, rather than just clicking one's fingers and declaring, 'all is well', admits to everything dire and disturbing about Tekkadan.

Because those things are the point. And to me, they are vital to my love of the original work.

So. My apologies for a couple of days of scab-picking on main. I needed it, I think, to look back and see that, yes. What I have done follows (in my own mind at least) from what's on-screen. As much as my fic is essentially a work of reconstruction -- of redeeming love from hopelessness -- the heart of it remains full of rust and sharp fragments, of blood and pain, and a bitter understanding that the world does not care about you in the slightest.

And that the point is to care anyway.

#gundam #gundam iron blooded orphans #gundam ibo #g tekketsu #tekketsu no orphans #norba shino #yamagi gilmerton #yamagi x shino #fanfic #my fic #ao3 fanfic #spoilers #major spoilers

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scruffyssketchbook · 25 days

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What type of traits are the main cast(+miku) romantically attracted to?

Blizz: I wouldn’t say he’s outwardly romantically attracted to anything in particular, but he does seem to be attracted to leafeons because of his huge crush on Daisy when they were kids. He’s pretty oblivious to his own feelings romantically. He’d say things like “I like hot chicks!!” But wont react to one unless they are on a Playpoke mag because Flame told him once that that is how he should react when seeing the magazine and Blizz was like "ok!". This changes with leafeons tho. I suppose it’s familiarity? Tho either way, it takes time for him to genuinely become attracted to anyone. Complements will expedite this process.

Dusk: Dusk is into feminine features (and Sylveon). But also!!! He cant help becoming romantically attracted to pokemon that he’s spent a considerable amount of time with. Pokemon who know him and spend time with him, and seem to genuinely care about him. He actually falls for others pretty hard and fast, but he bottles up his feelings and tries to not show them to them. Which honestly just hurts him in the end, but fear is a big factor in it, I suppose.

Eve: Eve is attracted to intelligence and good looks? Idk lol normal tween girl stuff? She doesn’t get easily swept up in romantic words, but she does get swept up when someone does something for her or gives her gifts. If you just try to lure her in with sweet words, she’ll respond with a snarky reply. Gotta put in the effort!

Vay: Vay is not romantically attracted to any traits. Acts of service makes him happy, I guess.

Bolt: Bolt is also not romantically attracted to any particular traits, unlike Blizz, there is no thing that he’s even a tiny bit attracted to out of the gate. He does admire strong willed individuals, but that’s not romantic attraction. I can say that romantic gestures WILL make Bolt very flustered. Like do enough of those and show genuine care for him and he will fall. But! Aside from that? Nothing much lmao. He hates loud, noisy, and destructive individuals though- Like, if you stress him out, he’s like no thank you.

Flame: Flame SAYS he’s romantically attracted to WOMAN. ALL WOMAN, No matter the shape or size. But actually!!!! That’s not quite the case lmao. Flame has only experienced real romantic attraction to individuals that share his hobbies and thoughts. Individuals that are on the same wavelength as he is, regardless of their gender or how they look like. If they share the same views and spend time with each other, Flame will fall HARD (to his dismay). It’s very hard getting close to Flame, as he’s closed himself up to everyone, but if you do break through his hard shell, and spend time with him, you in! Well, unless you remind him of himself. He cant handle being with people that remind him too much of himself because he kind of hates himself.

Daisy: Daisy is romantically attracted to strong individuals. Look STRONG, be HOT, and Daisy will instantly be attracted. But this strength doesn’t just have to be in looks, it could be in other aspects, like your will power, your confidence, how passionate you are in a thing you love doing, etc etc. But ofc, If you butter her up with complements, she will be even more attracted lol. She also likes pokemon with a bit of an adventurous or mischievous side to them, and she LOVES Bad Boys/Girls. Like Villains are her favorite characters. Villain to good guy archetype 10/10.

Dawn: Dawn is romantically attracted to pokemon that have lots of MONEY. (Joking) Dawn is romantically attracted to pokemon that at a baseline- are not horrible. BASICALLY, Dawn has a very high sense of justice, and she despises pokemon that don’t treat others right. You may think this is hypocritical, but Dawn lives by the golden rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated” and if you don’t follow this rule, she’ll TM 15 you into oblivion. Dawn loves complements, and loves communication, she likes loyalty and honesty too. and ofc! Dawn loves a family man lol. She wants a BIG FAMILY, so anyone who shares her want for this and has the other traits is an instant yes for her! Also!!! She doesn’t like overly serious pokemon, or pokemon that hide their feelings from her. Communication is Number one!!!!

Miku: Miku is romantically attracted to Dusk. That is all.

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yakuzacanons · 1 month

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Hello, I hope you’ve been doing well and taking care ☺️! I’ve been lurking around your blog for the past month and I love your HCs so much but I always struggled with coming up with ideas of what to request, but I think I’ve finally got one: furniture shopping with their S/O!!! (I spent two hours on the sims on build/buy mode; I’m on an interior decorating mood rn)

What’s their favorite room to shop for? Who’s being extra particular over color schemes? Who prefers a big department store (like ikea), and who’s preferring going antique store hopping? Who ends up getting distracted/fixated upon random things (like curtains, kitchen appliances, linens)? Etc, etc… (please have fun with it!)

You can write this for ANYONE (literally, I enjoy reading your HCs for any character), but I would especially love it if you included Majima, Joon-Gi and Saeko 💕

Feel free to pass tho if the prompt just isn’t something you’re vibing with at the moment! Thank yoooou!!!

Teehee yes, forgive me for the long wait, I really tried to mull this one over. I'm only going to do the three characters your mentioned but please feel free to ask for more.

Majima Goro

Clueless and lost as all hell in the entire process. Fully understands that if the two of you are going to live together, you will have to furnish said living space but he knows nothing about furnishings.

It's not that he has bad taste or is stupid, he's just used to living an extremely bare bones lifestyle when it comes to home decor. His days working at the Grand were especially lean in regards to personal effects so it's highly likely that his house or apartment currently has the bare minimum requirements with little to no color or pizazz.

Tentative by excited to explore this new avenue with you, only because it's with YOU. Anyone else would've gotten the stink eye from him, probably.

Gets lost in large furniture stores, mostly because he gets distracted by some kitchen doohickey that he doesn't recognize and spends time trying to examine it and guess what it's used for. When he loses sight of you, he'll just wander the aisles yelling your name. It's easier if you just keep an eye on him.

Always a little surprised when you ask his opinion on things like colors and patterns. His style is a little chaotic overall but would it really be a home with Majima if it didn't have some chaos?

One thing you can bet on is the man is sitting in all the chairs and laying on matresses before buying em. Don't let him check out the cutlery sets, by the way. He'll want the pricey one.

Joon-Gi Han

Even though his current living space is pretty minimalistic, Joon-Gi has a pretty decent wealth of knowledge about various aspects of interior design. Blame it on him going down some YouTube rabbit hole in the middle of the night.

Isn't particular about what kind of store you go to, but if he happens to walk by an interesting looking home decor store, he will want to at least take a peak. Out of the three, he's the most likely to go to as many stores as possible rather than one.

Carefully examines every individual object, no matter the size or importance. Constantly weighing the differences between price, material, durability, etc.

Pretty good taste in things like bedspreads, towels, and curtains but isn't headstrong in his opinions. He's more like a "Oh, that towel would look with that floor mat..." type of guy.

His favorite room to shop for is the bathroom. Likes a nice set of towels in various sizes and a cute organization rack for things like skincare products.

Good at buying most electronics, like a television or computer. Unsure of what to buy for the kitchen when it comes to fancy things, like a stand mixer. Mostly just amazed at the amount of gadgets you can attach to it.

Saeko Mukoda

Very self sufficient and has a pretty nailed down personal aesthetic for herself and her house. Honestly, she could probably go furniture shopping by herself and get it all done in a weekend.

She's always keeping her budget in mind so she's the most likely of the 3 to go to a secondhand or antique store. Especially fond of going there for larger pieces of furniture, like a coffee table.

Her overall house aesthetic is clean but not minimalistic. Think warm but bright tones, not over saturated though. She doesn't mind adjusting this to accommodate your taste as long as her personal areas remain undisturbed, like the nightstand on her side of the bed or her makeup organizer.

Loves shopping for bedroom items. A good mattress and a fluffy pillow are a must for our working girl. Always buys two sets of matching bedspreads so that when one is dirty, the other can be used and still look cute while the other is in the wash.

Her secret weapon is that she knows the best way to organize items in the house. Great at getting useful organizers like baskets, holders, organizers, etc. Makes the most out of her space.

Do not ask her to buy electronics, she will just buy what's newest, which unfortunately means sometimes she will buy what's most expensive.

#majima megaphone moment #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza headcanons #yakuza imagines #ryu ga gotoku headcanons #ryu ga gotoku imagines #goro majima #majima goro #saeko mukoda #joon gi han #han joon gi

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kafkaoftherubble · 2 months

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看到别的《不灭》粉针对“长生不死”的看法，在下小感

// Some thoughts on Immortality vis-à-vis To Your Eternity

------------------

Why is there a (sometimes hidden) assumption that being immortal automatically means the following expectations:

being incredibly intelligent

hella knowledgeable

an expert generalist

"the one with the answer" in the entire group?

It's prevalent in pop culture which, I'm gonna guess, is a product of tons of fiction and myths that "say so."

But I think people take these assumptions for granted way too much and start to impose a universality that I don't think holds up to immortal characters who are human or possess human brains.

The qualifiers "human" and "possessing human brains" (or human cognition) are very important here. If this immortal is non-human, then this critique isn't aimed at them. Read on if you like, though.

The (human) brain is simply not an infinite memory space the way a computer database could theoretically be. Limitations are one of the most important factors that shape the course of a brain's evolution; hell, I once wrote a ramble regarding the difference between an AI's information processing vs. human cognition.

(Yes, it was outfitted with citations. Yes, it was completely unprompted and no one asked for it. At all. You may start to notice a pattern regarding me.)

Children generally get to learn and absorb as much information as they like with minimal cost until they're of a certain age, and then the pruning of neurons starts. The number of neurons we have is reduced because the brain now favors depth instead of breadth of knowledge. You cut off the things you don't actually need in your life to free new neurons for any domain that needs it.

This isn't just about memories. It's about things like your optical sense, your auditory sense, the whole shebang. Every part of your brain is constantly vying for free real estate to bolster its own domain; it's a relentless competition for neurons.

What does that mean?

It means even if you're immortal—so long as you're human or possess a human brain—you'll always be limited in your knowledge and skills. You can try to learn as many things as you want, but you're doing it at a cost, all the time.

Think about it. How well do you remember everything you've ever learned in school?

Do you remember the details of, say, the differing carbon pathways for C3 and C4 plants? Do you remember there are two kinds of mechanisms?

Do you remember how to calculate a region's longitude and latitude using their timezone via employing the Greenwich Meridian Line as a reference point, or a region of a known timezone?

Do you remember how to exchange inch to centimeter, or pound to kilogram, or Celsius to Fahrenheit, without using a converter?

How about recalling the detailed history of all four ancient civilizations and their ways of life: the Mesopotamian, the Egyptian, the Indus, and the Chinese?

So on, so forth. I don't know what everyone studied in their respective education system, but chances are, there is a lot of shit we have all "forgotten" even if we spent an inordinate amount of time committing them to memory back then. If you know the answer to any of these^ questions, then chances are you either just read/learn about them, or you regularly engage in this domain. Knowledge is never permanently stored in an individual's brain... because it can't. That's right; even skills and knowledge are not permanent in one's head. Impermanence, baby!

And that's my problem with the assumption of The All-Knowing Immortal.

While it's true that an immortal human has all the time in the world to study every knowledge humanity has accumulated as a whole, they can never have all knowledge at their fingertips, because at every acquisition of something new, they disregard what is judged to be unimportant and unnecessary by the brain to free up new neurons. There is always something the Immortal doesn't know—not because they have never heard of it, but because they have forgotten about it.

But surely immortality shapes someone such that they are different from a mortal being, right?

Correct! It does, and I think in at least two major ways:

(1) Expertise

Even a mortal being could gradually become an expert in one or—in the case of a polymath—various domains. Again, a mature brain favors depth instead of breadth. The more you practice, the more your neurons refine and develop, and the more skilled you become. That's how experts are created.

Since an Immortal has a lot more time (and with time comes resources and opportunities) to hone their skills in several domains, it stands that they will be incredibly expert in these domains over a long period.

The catch, though, is that they are only an expert in the domains they frequently engage in. It doesn't translate to being an expert in literally every other trade under the sun. It doesn't even mean they will become an instant expert after some light-reading about those trades because expertise ≠ genius. Some domains' knowledge may afford the Immortal an easier path to understanding related domains, but it still doesn't mean the Immortal is gonna be a pro and galaxy-brain at it without effort and cost.

(2) Experience

Experience is gained from how long one experiences life, so naturally, an Immortal is gonna have a lot of that. This is why I do agree that an Immortal should likely be one of the wisest in the group... but I don't think this rule should be universal to all immortal beings either.

What if an Immortal spent 40 years of their life in isolation, as a hermit, whose only occasional companion was a phantom-like observer who called them out anytime he felt like the Immortal was underwhelming?

The human brain's growth and learning depend on sociality. An isolated Immortal loses its most important source of learning, so of course, they would now be even less experienced than a poison-tasting woman who traveled around and recorded her adventures and knowledge in a book.

----

That's right. This post has always been about Fushi... because To Your Eternity was in the title of this ramble. Ha! Read the signpost before you enter next time, you dorks! I gotcha good!

While some criticisms against Fushi's suboptimal intelligence and knowledge are warranted (and even those that aren't warranted are still interesting arguments to think about), I think people's expectation of what an Immortal being should be has gotten in the way of them seeing/appreciating Fushi as a "different kind of Immortal."

Fushi's default form is a 14-year-old boy who, for the longest time, has been living alone. That's a boy who's been deprived of social learning for a long enough time that it might have caused some brain damage (technical). That's not counting the fact that a 14-year-old brain simply isn't mature and is easily overtaken by impulses. I'm of the hypothesis that Fushi's beholden to the form they take; the proof is in how, whenever they change into one, they begin to exhibit their attributes.

Fushi's saddled with quite a lot of trauma—in fact, their trauma starts almost immediately and constantly after they are active beyond being a piece of rock or moss. What's the second word they learn after "Arigatou?" Wasn't it 痛い ("it hurts")? All of that stuff can indirectly hamper their social learning.

Fushi's base Nameless Boy form may also just be... well, not good at social learning. Or, Fushi themself isn't good at it. In other words, Fushi might just be... autistic. Bit of a headcanon there, though.

That's not all. While Fushi might have chosen to read a ton of books and whatnot, what do you think their interest will be? I don't think it's science, or politics, or philosophy, or looksmaxxing—the point is, they choose their own domains to engage in.

And even if they had read things like, I don't know, Trigonometry and Beauty or The Philosophy of Algebra or Sun Tzu's Art of War—my previous point about how knowledge can still be forgotten when those neurons fall into disuse still apply. And that's if Fushi was paying attention to what they were reading in the first place, because if you're not attentive, then good luck encoding things into your long-term memory effectively.

------

So what does all of this amount to?

Well, it means one may think Fushi is a dull-witted Immortal,...

...or think Fushi is a different kind of Immortal.

An Immortal that isn't as common a depiction as most others we knew in pop culture, to boot. Stil, they exhibit the two things Immortals should possess in abundance compared to a mortal being.

Firstly, they display expertise in wielding their powers (they are actually a very competent fighter come the Modern Arc and the Future Arc when they want to be). They are skilled at cooking and are generally the best at remembering the quirks, characteristics, and inclinations of every person they know well enough.

Why? Because these are the domains they engage in all the time.

Secondly, they exhibit an abundance of experience accumulated through their long lives. But here's the twist that I adore To Your Eternity for:

While the experience of an Immortal is usually depicted as a net benefit that shapes that Immortal into becoming wise, Fushi's abundance of experience as an Immortal is sometimes detrimental to them.

I'm talking, of course, about trauma as one of the main components of their experience.

We've discussed previously that Fushi's growth might have been hampered by the sheer trauma they had undergone at the start of the story. But here's the thing: their experience since then didn't exactly improve all the time. The grueling trial that was The Assault on Renril? Their previous attempts at fighting back Nokkers with varying results? Being stuck in a molten iron Prison Gate oh wow it's like Gojo ohmygod cube? Kahaku? You can list them yourself.

Even as normal human beings with limited timespan, we often find our own less-than-savory experience—including trauma—debilitating or even unbearable. Now imagine being an Immortal who keeps collecting experiences like these. Imagine yourself saddled with the suffering you've already gone through and beholden to more trauma and suffering as part of your experience living forever.

These are your experiences.

Have they made you exceptionally wise?

Not really?

Aye, that's the point.

-----

If I have to give a TL;DR for this, I guess it's:

"Guys, I think we should give Fushi a wee bit of break, doncha think, lads?"

I know they are an Immortal. And people expect an Immortal various things in a story. But they are also a lot more than what common depictions of eternal beings are like.

Fushi is, to me, a very interesting exploration of being an immortal, and one I appreciate for

deconstructing the assumptions people make about Immortals in general

and deconstructing the "shouldn't an Immortal be wise because of their experience" understanding most of us might have.

Thank you for reading my ramble. Check your eyesight when you have the chance just in case reading all of this gave you a myopia. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

-----------------------

I'm... gonna pretend this is my "Happy Fumetsu Tuesday/Wednesday" post of the week—which I haven't been doing for a while now. I might as well retroactively pretend this ramble was part of a tradition-that-is-never-really-observed-for-real, too.

#“小感”个屁！完全就是一篇论文！#啰嗦的睿得失 #every time I write a ramble I wonder who the hell will even read this all #maybe when Season 3 start I should just reblog them to the surface for new audience #fumetsu no anata e #to your eternity #tye #fushi #fnae #immortality

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mistysblueboxstuff · 1 year

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Hello, first of all, I’m really sorry for bothering you with this. I’m a person who other people consider an artist. I’ve made things all of my life with whatever tools I could get my hands on. My family was too poor to afford paper and pencils so I burned wood engravings with magnifying glasses. My handwriting is tiny and precise because I loved writing but had to squeeze every inch of space out of a page. Over the years I’ve done a lot of other things that caught my interest, including sculpture, 3D modeling, modding, making dolls, decoupage, graphic design, oils, watercolor, lots of stuff. I won awards, got into some magazines. People paid unreasonable amounts for my stuff. I even spent two years in college majoring in drawing and painting before admitting to myself that I hated the process and though I had some technical skill, I wasn’t a real artist and didn’t have the inspired creative spark real artists had. I was okay with that; I don’t want to express myself. I’ve always made things because I wanted to learn things and see something I wouldn’t have been able to see otherwise.

I’ve always thought of myself as someone respectful of artists. I’ve spent so much on commissions that I don't have a savings account. I’ve always paid artists as well as I can afford and sometimes more if I thought their rates were low or if I knew they were putting extra work in on a piece. I’ve also bought a lot of fan made merch. Almost a thousand of that has been on prints you’ve made. I love your art.

I’ve been passionate about text and art AI for years. At first I was excited when the public became aware of my hobby and I thought that I’d finally be able to talk about it with people. Except, it turned out that everyone hates this thing I’m passionate about and would hate me if they knew I used it. I’ve had to hide it and keep it bottled up inside, away from the people I want to share it with. Everywhere I look, I see words like AI bro and AI clown and lazy and that people like me should just die.

I’ve heard all of the arguments for and against it. I do get why people are scared and discouraged and feel like they’ve had something taken from them. But I also know that I can't stop loving AI. I can't stop making things and learning new skills in things that interest me. That’s who I am. If I know anything about myself, it’s that.

I have one enormous print of yours of Aziraphale hanging over my bed. It has given me so much happiness for the past two years. I’ve felt love and beauty when I look at it. It’s been a source of comfort and joy. Having grown up lesbian in a religious household that thought I needed an exorcism, there’s something about seeing him turn his face away from God that resonates.

It’s been eating me up inside for weeks because every time I look at the picture above my bed, I don’t see Aziraphale any more. I don’t feel that love. I can only think about the person behind it that I respect and how they’ve said I should die, and the community behind them that I want to be part of but would hate me.

Am I the bad guy? The pain feels like a festering boil that needs to be lanced, so I guess I’d like to hear you say that what I’m doing is unforgivable so that I can take the picture down, grieve and move on. I know that's a lot for a stranger to ask of you. It's probably messed up that I'm even bringing this to you. I'm sorry.

Hiya. Thank you for messaging me. first I'd just like to say I don't think anyone should actually die. I know I say AI folks should die but it's something that I don't actually mean or want, I'm just angry. I don't like being told to "adapt or die". I don't appreciate AI folks saying I should "get on with the times and use the AI". I don't appreciate being told to "learn a new skill" by people who by all accounts have none themselves. I don't appreciate being told to "go work at McDonald's bozo". Being told to "get a real job". These are the things said to me personally, not just to artists in general.

Have you seen the vile things artists are being told by the AI tech bros? How we are being treated? They call us "drawslaves", "paint pigs", but at same time we're the "elite" keeping the poor masses away from their god given right to be able to make art without putting any effort into it.

We have every right to be angry and I'm really sorry me saying they should die has hurt you. I'm hurting too. I haven't been in the best place mentally and I won't go into details but this whole AI thing has only made it worse.

I don't think artists are just scared or discouraged, they're angry because their art is being stolen by this thing made to replace them. It really really hurts, I can't tell you how much. It's also infuriating. A lot of the time it makes me want to just stop making art because what's the point? It'll just get stolen and chopped up, bastardised into some AI monstrosity and soon I won't even be needed at all. I spent my whole life trying to figure out what to do with it, finding one thing i love and managing to make a living off it, only for it to be taken away from me by a machine. Might as well just stab me to death and get it over with. It would hurt less. One of the things that hurt me the most is when people question if my art is AI or not. I hate that I also question every piece of art I now encounter too.

Your story is inspiring and it sounds like you enjoyed making art, so what happened? I can't understand how any artist would actually feel accomplished by generating images via AI. I do understand it's fun and brings joy to people I guess. As for being a part of the art community I don't think most artists will ever accept AI folks as being a part of it. There is a huge AI community though, as I'm sure you know.

Personally I find it really difficult to look at AI images, for many reasons, seeing them treated as art pains me. It's why I left ArtStation and why I'm no longer active on DeviantArt either.

I don't think you specifically are the "bad guy". The bad guys are the people who are pushing for this thing to actually replace artists. The bad guys are the hedge fund billionaire man babies behind it. I do think people using AI are helping it get better at stealing though. The support the AI has been given by folks using it has made people behind it more aggressive as well.

But like I said many times before I don't hate AI specifically and if it stops stealing and starts being used more ethically then it's fine (sort of). But I think everyone knows the AI would be nothing without actual artists' work, that's why they're gonna fight for their "right" to keep stealing from us. Wonder who they gonna steal from when most of us abandon art because we'll have to do something else to survive and there won't be time for making art anymore.

I'm really sorry my stance on AI is making it difficult for you to enjoy my art though, I never really thought about that so thank you for making me consider your perspective on this. I'm happy my art has brought you joy. For what it's worth I don't hate you, I don't think using AI is unforgivable, I don't think you're a bad person for using AI and finding joy in it. But as an artist I will never support AI. AI stomps all over everything art stands for, to me at least. It's a travesty. It mocks everything I've been through as a person to get where i am now. There are so many artists i love and seeing their art stolen and used in this way makes me so mad. It's easy to make the issue sound simple by saying "artists are just scared because AI is better" but it's so much more than that.

I'm sorry you feel like you need to take my Aziraphale painting down. I can't help but feel the way i feel though. i hate AI as it is now but that doesn't mean i hate every single person who uses it. I'm sorry though. i wish i had something smarter to say and something to make you feel better :(

#reply #anti ai #long post

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