#which one of you is in the body today?
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we ask our body every morning
#ours#our edit pls dont repost#edit#inspired by another post#and a tag on that post#picture is ours also#nostalgia#art#ask yourself#which one of you is in the body today?#blue#plural#my edit
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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happy dragon year to the dragon guy on dragon day!!! 🐉🐉🐉
yippee!! 🎉🐉
#kagarts#champion lance#pokemon gsc#pokemon hgss#pkmn#appreciate a dragon day aka you Will look at lance today#a rare triple dragon moment in time you could call that a triple dragonite bonanza#he's gradually risen to be one of my favorites to draw lately so I wanted to commit to making a piece for him!#deep in my soul i believe he is a silly guy with a biiiiiiiig heart#he's got some scars on his hands (that of which also extends to his body) bc all that kindness is not without effort too#but c'mon he would absolutely be a little silly a little goofy even#the kids would love him And bonus points to teaching them about how cool and friendly dragons are#if you think i'm done drawing him though you can dragon these NUTS#new years resolution to make more backgrounds is a hard one but i'm not giving up so soon on that!!1!1
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“How many infected, possible B.O.W.s have you ever seen wandering around? None. If there’s not a cure for me, well…”
#verdugo leon#Resident Evil 4 Remake#Resident Evil 4#Leon Kennedy#Resident Evil#You Pay the Cost#GO. READ. IT. NOW.#COMPELLS ME#ANYWAY i somehow churned this out in around 8-9 hours one sitting#somehow#which is a record for me recently#wouldnt recomend#i had too much coffee today#my art#fanart#body horror#blood#i dont wanna be a freakshow pretty boy anymore
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings
#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem#in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together#and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier#WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH#i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd#and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i#waves my hands around manically#for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins#in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone#and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control#one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings#that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded#and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all#like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need#to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level#AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING#anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have#and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh#yapping
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thinking about super physically affectionate clingy yet quiet link and him leaning into revali when he's tired, or curling up in revali's lap with his face in revali's neck to take a nap, without a single word.
it startles revali a lot at first when link just at random just starts grabbing his hand only to intertwine their fingers, link tracing the feathers and then pulling revali's hand up to his face to press a kiss to the back of it, his eyes shut. or link pushing him down into the cushions only to seat himself within revali's folded lap, head against revali's chest as he fidgets and fiddles with revali's scarf. or link coming up from behind to wrap his arms around revali's midsection, pressing soft kisses down revali's spine.
"you hylians are so touchy," revali mumbles one night, when they're lying together in their shared hammock. link is wrapped around him, intertwining his legs with revali's, and he drags his pointer finger through revali's feathers, drawing shapes into his chest. link only hums at him in response, and shifts so that he's more comfortable against revali. his legs tighten around revali's, as though he plans to keep the rito shackled to him forever. revail only wraps a wing around him and brushes his beak through the top of link's hair.
"you're not pushing me away though," link says. link's voice is soft and drowsy, but revali can feel it humming under his skin.
"like i could if i tried," revali responds in similar volume. "you've wrapped yourself so closely to me, we'll merge into one being at this point." but link is right; if he truly didn't enjoy this, he'd have thrown link into lake totori now.
"wish we could," link murmurs. revali hums in question, prompting link to continue. "wanna be so close to you i'm practically under your skin."
"that won't be necessary. you already get under my skin plenty." link snorts and shifts against him again, revali shifting in response to accommodate link's new position. they're quiet again for a couple more moments before link speaks.
"do you really not like it?" his songbird whispers, hushed and timid. revali frowns. he doesn't like it when link doubts him, or this bond between them. he wraps his other wing around link and the little hylian snuggles deeper into him automatically, sighing quietly.
"i'd have figured you more astute than this," revali says. "this... manner of affection you favor is not something i'm accustomed to, but it doesn't mean it's unpleasant. it's... nice, to be honest."
"so it's okay? you're okay with this?" link murmurs.
"i'm more than fine with it," revali replies. "what made you think i wasn't?"
he feels link shift to hide his face in revali's chest. "dunno," link mumbles. "i always do it without saying anything. thought you were just putting up with me..."
revali's feathers prickle and rise, and his frown deepens. in a swift fluid movement, he grabs his mate by his hips and pulls him up. link yelps, grabbing onto revali's arms. "w-wait, revali, the hammock—"
"the hammock is strong enough to hold the both of us," revali says, and seats link atop him so that his mate is straddling his lap, and his hands settle on link's waist. "so don't doubt it, like you're doubting me right now." link flushes and his ears droop, just slightly. cute.
"i wasn't doubting you—" link starts, but revali cuts him off with a slight shake of his head.
"you were," revali asserts and his voice leaves no room for argument, because it's true. link stares down at him, guilty and insecure. revali hates it. "i can't control what goes on in that stubborn head of yours, but don't doubt me. don't doubt this, what we have. i chose you, all of you, what you are, what you do, what you offer. i'll gladly receive it all, because it's you."
link's breath catches. "revali..."
but revali shakes his head and pulls lightly on link's waist. "that's enough thinking for you tonight," he says. "come back to me and continue with your touchy inclinations. i'm rather fond of it now."
so link with that ever so familiar wide, blue-eyed gaze tentatively leans back down and wraps himself around revali's body again, as they were before, his face buried in the space between revali's neck and head and his breath beginning to even out. revali envelops his clingy songbird in his wings, nuzzling the side of link's face with his eyes shut, beginning to drift to sleep himself, but he needs to make himself clear before either of them drift too far.
"i love you," revali murmurs against link's skin. "goddesses know why you ever doubted it, but i do and i always will. if you wish to possess me, my body is yours to command as you please. if you wish to woo me, my heart has already been infatuated with you for far longer than you've realized you desired me too. my very soul and my entire being belong to you now, for as long as you will it to be."
link doesn't say anything more, but revali can feel his little jewel hug him tighter. "i chose you," revali whispers. "please remember that. i chose to be with you, for the rest of my life. i'm not letting go of you so soon, so please don't let go of me either."
they both grow quiet after that, and revali thinks link has already fallen asleep when—
"i won't," link whispers back. "i won't let you go. i'm all yours too, revali, i love you too."
revali coos lowly in response, holding link a little tighter in his arms. "good. if it's my skin you wish to be in, then it's yours to live under. i wouldn't have it any other way. now, go to sleep. your mind runs circles around itself like a hylian retriever if left without the careful hand of a trainer, like myself."
"whatever," link snorts, but he shifts and squirms and nestles himself under revali's chin until he's comfortable again, until his breathing evens out. only then does revali relax, wings still wrapped firmly around his sweet little songbird, and lets sleep claim him too.
#revalink#loz#botw#loz botw#legend of zelda#link x revali#revali x link#amihan's revalinkverse#i can't write anything without revali being extremely soft for link#amihan don't write revali being completely whipped for link challenge: failed#i lowkey went off topic with this one but it's ok because the final product slaps#i channel my inner bridgerton everytime i write revali being sappy with link#(i've never watched bridgerton)#me watching the post-windblight battle cutscene for the first time in 2019: do you think link and revali ever explored each other's bodies#link was literally exploring revali's body in this post#the day i write a fic where revali explores link's body...#another one for the “revali lets link do whatever he wants to him” revalink agenda#the bts reference in this post today is when link says he wants to be under revali's skin#which also is the lyric in my blog header#referencing bts rm's 'closer' on his solo album indigo#i recommend it it's a very good song whether or not you like bts#if this post had a song you should listen to it with it would be closer by rm#link wants to ratatouille revali by being under his skin
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collapses to the ground like a deflated balloon
#my god#stage one is finally complete . . . . . . . .#if you can recall that poll i reblogged about passing out#that important contact i received was mr. seto of the vocaloid team#who messaged me asking about a collaboration and quite literally nearly caused me to pass out#i read the message preview on my phone#stood up#saw stars#and collapsed onto my bed and had to lay down for like. 10 minutes before my body would stop feeling distant and weak w#i similarly felt ready to pass out today when i sent a message to ask when the announcement tweet would be#and they tweeted it. immediately after w#no joke rice and i were scrambling behind the scenes to get our act together and figure out what we wanted to say KHGJGSJKFHGKJ#all the while screaming because yamaha said they'd be posting it on valentine's day and we thought they meant our timezone w#because the whole point of this collab was to get the zolas more well known in the english-speaking sphere w#EITHER WAY#i am. so so tired and now i need to pass out so i can get enough sleep before more internship tomorrow w#which is heating up because my seminar professor wants a detailed plan of my final project goals This Friday#but my mentor won't know anything about where to fit that in until Thursday at the earliest#and my supervisor just hounded me over email to coordinate with the two other people at my station and choose an activity to lead#but that requires. planning. that our mentors won't have until thursday........#perishing . . . . . .
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#registeel#and now this guy is maybe a bit less interesting. from this standpoint‚ i mean. the eyes being just dots make it a little hard to like#feel *connected* to them when they're ffp'd‚ y'know? i feel like it's kind of a reductive angle. which is why i zoomed this one and the last#one out a bit. so you can see a bit of the rest of their body. it's maybe less funny but would it really have been funny to just see 7 red#dots on a gray background and have to read the tag to know it's registeel? i dunno. maybe. maybe it would've been. but i like this more#maybe the explanation is that i'm taking these pictures myself. i personally know all these pokémon and have to ask them if i have permissio#n to take these pictures of them. but registeel said i couldn't get too close. so we settled with this. hehe yeah that's why :) hehe :)#anyway. you now have the aegis cave theme stuck in your head#hi it's me from the present. saturday morning. in yesterday's queued post i came up with the idea of maybe doing a monotype run of a pokémon#game. i don't know which one yet but i wanted to do water-type. but i was like. maybe i'll liveblog it on my main blog. yesterday#and today i came back and saw those tags as i was queuing up today's 'mons and i was like… hell maybe i could stream it if enough folks are#interested. but if anyone is then i didn't want to wait that long for the queue to get to that post bc that's gonna post on like. august 18#and class for my last semester of college Ever starts back up on august 21st and i don't. know if i want to start another pokémon playthroug#h that close to classes starting. especially not one where at least one (1) individual out there might be waiting for it So i put 'em here#they'll still be on that post but. they're here. just in case someone out there is chronically bored enough that that's something they'd be#interested in. y'never know there's a lot of folks here#anyway i will now queue up kricketot. see you then… or i guess see you whenever if you like send in an ask or a message or smth…
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i am,,,once again,,,,,opening a girlie up hang on is this why i get shadowbanned and my blog deleted? I Am Once Again Opening A IMAGINARY Girlie WHO DOESNT EXIST Up in FAKE FICTION
anyway not even using a knife this time its more of a scurvy scars reopening kind of a situation
#you fuck up a regeneration and now your body wont close#dont worry im not posting this ones for the private collection#anyway miss 'death=love' y literally dying: yasmin. yasmin. stick your fingers in me. dont care which hole any of them ive got many rn#its not even technically missy any more i think at this point in her timeline its like missy number 6#she keeps killing herself!!#also keeps giving herself new names but im just putting missy until ivefigured out what they are#first time it was like a Healing sort of suicide she was inspired by yaz so she was like#I Wanna Be More#and then there was an accident and she turned into koschei#which nobody was very happy with#yaz bc she was like we were having sex yesterday and today youre a child so thats complicated#and missy bc she was like the doctor is acting like im the ghost of their childhood back to haunt them :(#and the doctor bc she was like the ghost of my childhood is back to haunt me#so that was not ideal#then there was an actual suicide-suicide sort of a suicide situation#very committed one too but the doctor uh brought her back#with a lot of effort#then there was a practicality one#like you run i'll explode myself kinda thing#i think im forggeting one#anyway so we're a couple bodies in and she has Once Again fucked up a regeneration#one might suspect shes doing it on purpose#yaz definitely is#but shes also not gonna say no so
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I do love that I'm both freezing and having the worst back pains.
But at least I still have a roof above my head, right?
#personal#so here's the thing:#i don't think any of the radiators in my apartment are currently working#which kind of sucks bc it's winter in northern europe lmao#one of them had blown a fuse. which i changed yesterday. and now it's cold again. so there's definitely something wrong with it#two of them. which are located in my bedroom/living room combination. have red lights on#but they are both cold and not heating up my apartment. which means i'm freezing here#so it could be a thermostat or something. i don't know#but because my place was a mess. after having worked for a few months and not having energy to do anything else#i had to clean up here yesterday. because i couldn't call my landlord who lives closeby in case he decided to drop in and see#the mess i was living in. to you know. check on those radiators#so anyway. my apartment is pretty okay now. stuff i still need to clean though but it's mostly minor#but i seem to have strained my lower back doing it. or from sleeping in an awkward position because i was cold#the kind of pain i haven't experienced in months which must be a record for me now#but yeah now my lower back hurts. i can't properly crouch or even twist my body to the side without my knees trying to give out#and i've already taken painkillers for it today. which kind of put me to sleep again and had a lovely little nap a while ago#but this is bothersome#i hope my back feels better by tomorrow so i can finish my cleaning and then message my landlord#because i don't want to freeze here anymore xD and i also don't want my houseplants dying because of it so
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.
#i really fucking hate my brain right now#i put on a pair of jeans today#and they're the only jeans i bought when i was at my lowest with my eating#which means they're the smallest ones i have#and i put them on td and they were tighter than usual#and i fucking hate that im using them as a yardstick for my body but i still do it#and i know logically they're just tighter because 1. im actually fucking eating properly#and 2. i'm bloated anyway from my period#but there was this little voice in the back of my head screaming at me that im not fucking good enough and nobody will ever want me#and i've made alot of progress with my eating#i've not intentionally skipped a meal in almost a month#but my mind wont shut the fuck up#and my partner always says “text me if you need me” but i cant#because it's the middle of the night and for once#for ONCE#theyre actually taking care of themselves and sleeping#and it'd be so shitty to ruin that because i know that thats really hard for them#so now i'm just lying in the dark listening to music#and trying to drown out my thoughts with it#but it's not fucking working and nothings fucking working and im so so scared im going to relapse again#because i dont want to do that anymore but i dont feel like i have a fucking choice#and nobody will probably read this except alex#gods bless them#but i just needed to write the words#because if i dont do something#i'll do something else that id regret a lot more#tw eating#tw eating disorder#ed vent
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would like to mention the Dead Silence script ive been pulling from is an earlier draft so it's a little different from the final version, mostly I think the finished project is much more coherent and overall an improvement but i really just want to take a moment for this fucked up horrorshow that didn't make it in
#dead silence#script#james wan#leigh whannell#horror#the weirdest thing to me is the drastic character shift with the detective#hes kind of just. bland and mostly sympathetic to jamie and then in the final version hes this super weird snarky antagonistic character#which is better! hes more interesting and memorable that way and makes jamie's struggle heightened bc No One Will Help Him#was hoping for any kind of insight into the constant shaving thing but its not in this script so i guess ill never know#gore#gore text#body horror#uhhh sorry if this is Not what you wanted to see today lmao im not sure how else to tag this#gross
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been doing some soft dog massage on sigurd lately to help keep him supple (he has a vet appointment about his lameness tomorrow morning), but i just rubbed the gnarliest knot out i've ever felt on his shoulder. poor bud.
#dogblr#sigurd#he was very relaxed#the hard thing with this current limp is that he was recovering well after the first week#and then he kinda just took a downward swing with his lameness#yesterday and today were as bad as the first day#but of course he's not more subdued if anything he's being just a stupid with his body which is frustrating#like NO. you cannot play with zombie or pull like an asshole on our calm walk#NO you should not be jumping off the bed and doing zoomies.#hes by far the most expensive of my three he has had so many random little (now recovered) injuries from not being aware of his body#this is what happens when you are HUGE but graceful and also a bit of a DUDE. no self preservation#injuries like this one where its not immediately apparent what the issue with scare the crap outta me
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