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heartpascal · 1 year

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check under the doormat

▹ — joel miller x platonic!f!reader + tommy miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: settling down fully in jackson means new friends, and more patrols. what could go wrong?

▹ — a/n: 9.7K words here guys … and i cannot tell you what is in here. anyway. hopefully its decent. i feel like i just have very little memory of writing all of this, tis all a BLUR!! one second it was two paragraphs, the next its this??? anyway. hope yall enjoy (pls be nice)

▹ — warnings: angst (as always), blood, injuries, food & food hall, teasing, infected + humans, canon typical violence ofc, father figure miller bros, slight suggestion of a dead horse, swearing, not proofread

▹ — general taglist: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex

masterlist | PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

howl’s song association!

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As much as you had grown to love the town of Jackson, one thing that you couldn’t seem to grow fond of was how loud and obnoxious the dining hall was. You understood, of course, a community eating space where people could socialise and eat and enjoy the company of other residents, it was going to be loud.

But you hated it.

You were used to quiet eating times, or at the very least, quieter. Before Ellie, eating times often remained silent, rushed, especially when you were out on a trip with Joel and Tess. There hadn’t been time to chat. Even when Ellie had tagged along, it wasn’t too loud, because she was mostly forced to talk to herself.

With the Millers, it remained somewhat peaceful at dinner time, the occasional teasing before you focused on shoving your food into your mouth, never quite getting the hang of slowing down. After all, you’d always lived life in a rush, constantly forced to hurry up when eating to save daylight.

In the hall, people laughed and talked and even shouted. It was off putting for you, and you couldn’t quite grow comfortable around it, even when you tried to sit as far away from the rowdy groups as you could, taking a table that sat right along the edge of the room, opposite where you grabbed food.

Most people in the town gravitated towards the noise, crowding in the middle of the room, which was why you were so surprised when you saw someone sit down at the other side of your table, placing a plate in front of them and gazing at you from the corner of their eye.

You looked up from your plate, eyebrows furrowed when you looked at the boy sat opposite, confused why he sat at your table when there were still multiple free.

“Hi.” He said, a grin on his face, and he tapped restless fingers against the table, waiting for your response.

“…Hi.” You replied after a minute, though it came out as more of a question, your confusion evident through both your voice and your expression. The boy grinned wider, and held a hand out over his plate.

“I’m Jesse!” Jesse told you, shaking your hand firmly when you slowly reached toward his extended palm.

“Okay?” You said, watching with even further befuddlement as the boy picked up his cutlery, and began eating, looking at you expectantly. With a slight huff of an awkward breath, you told him your own name, your eyes darting around the room as he grinned widely, showing off some of the half-chewed food in his mouth.

He stayed at your table for the entire meal, until eventually he was waved away by somebody sat toward the middle of the hall. He’d been mostly quiet, other than a comment here or there which hadn’t required a response, mostly talking about how loud the other residents were. When he left, he waved wildly, not faltering even as your hand remained on the table.

You blinked down at your empty plate, completely perplexed by what had just happened.

Two days later, in the dinner hall during lunch time, it happened again. Jesse sat opposite you, his plate full of food in front of him, and he grinned in your direction, as if it answered all of your questions.

“You know, it’s much nicer in here during lunch.” He commented, looking around at the slightly quieter room, his gaze lingering on the group sat in the middle of the room. Jesse moved his eyes to look at you, almost expectantly.

“I guess.” You answered, after a moment of reluctance, and shoved another forkful of food into your mouth when Jesse grinned with a shake of his head.

“You’re not very talkative, are you?” Jesse asked, amused. When you just shrugged your shoulders, hoping he’d take the hint, he continued. “Y’know, I don’t really see you around town much. I’m quite the social butterfly.” He snickered at his own words. “You don’t even eat here every day.”

“Yeah, and?” You asked, voice snarky and matching your unimpressed expression.

“Just saying.” He said, shrugging his shoulders in defeat, or so you had thought. “Where do you live?”

“Isn’t that a creepy thing to ask?”

Jesse put his hands up, tilting his head and clearly trying his best to give an innocent look. “No, it’s a small town. Most people know just because everyone is a neighbour’s neighbour.”

“Clearly not that small.” You said, and he snickered again at your response, amusement lingering in his eyes.

“Guess not.” He shrugged, shoving more food into his mouth, and you stared at him for a moment longer, before getting back to eating your own food.

It continued like that for three weeks after the first time Jesse sat with you — he’d sit opposite you, comment about the dining hall, maybe tell a joke or two. He’d ask you questions that you wouldn’t give a clear answer to, and you’d raise your eyebrows at him for all of his strange behaviours. You thought he would’ve caught on that you weren’t all too interested in entertaining him, but each time you were in the hall, he sat at your table.

You hadn’t realised quite how used to his presence you had become until you were sat in the dining hall one evening, and he didn’t show up. You tried to pretend that you weren’t searching for his face each time the doors swung open, but realised it was likely obvious you were searching for someone.

For two days, he hadn’t showed. You pretended you weren’t concerned.

Until it came to the third day, where you had arrived to the dining hall late after facing questions from Tommy as to why you weren’t eating at theirs as often, and there he was. Sat at the table you usually occupied, his head snapping up the moment you swung the door open.

You sighed, something closer to relief than annoyance, because you didn’t mind his mindless comments. As much as it surprised you, you didn’t find his presence all that off-putting.

As soon as you had grabbed your own plate of food, you made your way over, sitting opposite Jesse. He perked up at your presence, lowering his fork from where it had been pushing food around his plate. Your eyebrows furrowed when you saw his face, littered in cuts and scrapes, a plaster covering his forehead.

“What happened?” You asked, before you could think better of it, and he rolled his eyes with that all too familiar grin.

“Aw, you worried about me?” He teased, his hand shooting out to grab your arm when you reached to pick up your plate, moving to stand. His teasing stopped quickly, and a smile quirked at your lips. “Okay, okay. It’s embarrassing.”

“Well now you have to tell me.” You reasoned, slightly amused already at the prospect of whatever humiliating thing had gotten Jesse in such a rough shape.

“I… fell off of a horse.” Jesse said, and you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, despite the way he immediately frowned, defensive. You probably shouldn’t be laughing — given that the one lesson of horse riding you’d had with Tommy hadn’t gone so well. “It’s not funny!” He defended, but a smile was creeping up on his face.

“It’s kinda funny.” You responded, still grinning at the image of Jesse just going face first off of a horse. “Okay, it’s really funny.”

“You…” Jesse trailed, shaking his head. “After all my jokes, me falling off of a horse is what makes you laugh?”

You shrugged, an amused look on your face, and said, “Maybe you need to get better jokes.”

Jesse gasped in offence, holding a hand to his chest as if the words had physically pained him, and you shook your head at his dramatics. You were glad he was okay, because you almost enjoyed his presence, on occasions.

“So this is why you wanted to come to the dining hall, huh?” Came a voice from your left, and you snapped your head over to look at Tommy with widened eyes. He was grinning, a teasing smile growing wide on his face, and he laughed. “Oh, I cannot want to tell Maria.”

“Tommy!” You hissed, scolding, your cheeks growing warm at his words. It wasn’t like that — you just wanted to know if Jesse was okay. You mildly enjoyed his jokes, sue you, and it was nice to be around a non-Miller, even for just under an hour a day. “What are you doing here?” You asked, dropping your cutlery onto your plate and glaring at the man.

“Thought I’d save Maria cookin’ and grab some food from here.” He snickered, “Had no idea what I’d be walking into.”

“Oh, are you—” Jesse started, but you cut him off with a stern look.

“No. Tommy, go away.” You ignored the way Jesse was laughing to himself, his grin wide as he looked between you and the Miller man. “Shut up, Jesse.”

“How’s the injury?” Tommy asked, amused, his grin widening when you looked between the two of them, confused. You were sure your face couldn’t get warmer — you would never live this down, you were sure. Tommy wasn’t one to let things go.

“Better,” Jesse grumbled, and you felt the slightest bit better that he felt embarrassed over his horse-related injury. “Had her worried, apparently.”

“I was not worried.” You defended, immediately, and turned to glare at Tommy, repeating your words. He just gave you a disbelieving look. “I hate you both. I’m going home.”

You stood, grabbing the plate of food and heading towards the stack of dirtied dishes. You ignored the way the two of them were still snickering behind you.

“Oh, come on,” Jessie called out to you, almost shouting your name, his grin not faltering even as you sent him a dirty look over your shoulder. “Where are you going?” He asked, standing and following you, with Tommy trailing behind whilst shaking his head.

“Don’t you have a wife to feed?” You asked Tommy, eyebrows raised, and grinned tightly when he swore, heading over to get a serving for himself and Maria. “And you, go away.” You told Jesse, looking at him flatly when he just smiled at you some more, clearly very entertained by Tommy’s arrival.

“Why’re you embarrassed? You’re allowed to have friends!” Jesse responded, following behind you as you scraped off the remnants of food on your plate.

“We’re not friends.” You grumbled, shoving the cutlery into the elected trays, before placing the dirty plate on top of a pile of three.

“Hmm, I don’t believe that. You like me.” Jesse laughed, unable to wipe the smile off of his face even as you shook your head, making your way to the exit. “It’s true! We are friends. Admit it!”

You rolled your eyes, the smile tugging at the edge of your lips, but you refused it, not wanting Jesse to have the satisfaction.

He followed you out of the dining hall, still going on, “Admit it!” In a sing-song voice. It was incredibly annoying.

“Nothing to admit. Now go away.” You responded, turning your head to look at him as he followed along. “I could be leading you to a dark alleyway to murder you, you know.”

“You wouldn’t. You know why?”

“Why’s that?” You asked dryly.

“Because we’re friends.”

You scoffed out a laugh, unable to help it, because he really was kind of contagious. You stopped, turning fully around to see him grinning to himself.

“If I agree, will you go away?” You asked, eyebrows raised as you crossed your arms in front of your chest, forcing your expression to flatten into something closer to serious.

“Maybe.”

“Fine,” You drawled, rolling your eyes, “You, the weird guy who sits at my table uninvited all the damn time, are my friend.” Despite the way you had described him, Jesse still smiled blindingly at your admission, his whole face lighting up.

“I knew it!” Jesse yelled, putting his arms in the air victoriously, and you shook your head, holding the bridge of your nose with one hand as he cheered. “You couldn’t resist my charming nature, beautiful looks, and unbeaten survival skills.”

You looked flatly at him, “You’re annoying, look like shit, and the only skill you’ve shown off, is how many pieces of bread you can fit in your mouth without choking.”

“Wow, harsh.” Jesse said, though his grin didn’t fall.

“Don’t take it personally, kid.” Tommy said, making you both turn to see him, two boxes of food held in his hand. He grinned, and nodded his head toward you. “She’s a softie, really.”

Your flat look just made Jesse snicker, and you shot him a glare. “You’re both annoying.”

“Mhm, whatever. Now get. Maria will wanna see you. Get yourself home, Jesse.” Tommy said, shooing Jesse away and shaking his head as the boy shot off with a wave, and a “See you later, friend.”

“I’m coming to yours, then?” You asked with a roll of your eyes, elbowing him in the ribs when he moved to stand at your side. “Asshole.”

“Hey! Watch your language!” He scolded, though there was no force to the words.

“Yeah, okay, Dad.” You snickered, shooting him an amused look at the joke you’d made, before you continued on in the direction of his house. You missed the way he raised eyebrows, something like shock on his face.

“God, I am gettin’ old.” He mumbled to himself, shaking his head before he set off behind you.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“This is so unfair.” Jesse told you, sulking as he walked by your side, loose stones crunching underneath your feet. You just smile, almost smug, as you turn your head to see his frown.

“It’s not unfair.” You said, rolling your eyes when Jesse only pouts, slowing his pace to keep up with your own. “I’m just better. And Tommy can’t say no to me.”

Jesse slows as you approach the stables, seeing Tommy stood impatiently, his foot tapping against the ground as he waits for you to meet him. When he stops, you stop, turning to the boy who had adopted the tendency to follow you wherever you went.

“Be careful.” He warned, expression turning serious, though his pout remained.

“Jesse, I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing.” You told him, waving off his concern with a casual pat to his arm. He frowned, and you rolled your eyes at him. “Seriously, calm down.”

“I’m calm!” He defended, a pitch too high to actually make the statement believable. “Can’t believe you get to go out on actual patrols. I’m still stuck on stupid kid training.”

“You are a stupid kid.” You snickered when he shoved your shoulders. “You’ll be out there with me, soon enough.”

Jesse rolled his eyes, about to respond when Tommy called your name, his impatience growing, and he moved to walk over. “I’m coming!” You yelled back to him, huffing at his impatient nature. “I’ll see you later, okay? To tell you all about my badass shooting.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Don’t die.” Jesse said, and you waved him away as you made to go over to where Tommy was looking at his wrist expectantly. You snickered.

“You do know you’re not wearing a watch, right?” You asked as you approached the man, taking the rifle he held out for you without a second thought. You put it over your shoulder.

“Don’t need to be wearin’ one to know that you’re late.” He scolds in response, and you roll your eyes, not paying him much mind seeing as you were before the time he’d actually told you. Tommy just liked to complain.

With a scoff, you followed him into the stables, where the man working there for the day handed off two horses. He passed you the reigns to a dark brown horse, and you smiled, petting her on the nose.

The walk down to the gate was quiet, and you pretended not to notice Tommy glancing at you multiple times out of the corner of your eye. You knew what he was hoping for, but he wouldn’t be getting it today.

A group of those on patrol had already gathered, only a few missing, and you huffed at how early these people liked to be. The assignments had been handed out already, and a woman came over to whisper your assignment to Tommy, giving him a tight smile after she had glanced at you.

“You sure about this, kid? No shame in backin’ out, goin’ home.” Tommy told you, sighing heavily when you shook your head immediately.

“I’m doing this, Tommy. Where we headed?” You asked, watching people start to get on their horses, and head out of the now-open gate.

“C’mon. Goin’ on a trail through the woods, got a cabin out there, needs checking out.” He told you, helping you get onto the horse as you struggled to get up. You got comfortable on the saddle, smiling at him.

With a heavy sigh, he got on his horse, and led the way out of the gate.

You’d guess that he had staked out this route before he allowed you on it. It was tame, barely a sound in the woods other than a few birds chirping away. You shouldn’t have been surprised, it was definitely a Tommy thing to do. Well, a Miller thing, if you thought about it. You knew Joel had done the same thing back when you’d been with him and Tess at the QZ, before he’d let you come on any smuggling trips.

You didn’t mind it, really.

The gun still slung over your shoulder was a comforting weight, and you were just glad to be holding a weapon once again. It was heavier than the ones you were used to, contained more ammo than you could’ve dreamed of, back in the QZ days. It felt good.

Tommy stared at the woods around you, glaring as if he was daring anything to come out of them. It was almost funny. If you weren’t on edge, surveying your surroundings, you might’ve laughed. But you were on this patrol only because he had allowed it, and you were going to prove yourself.

The cabin Tommy had told you about finally came into view, after around an hour of riding, and you raised your eyebrows. You were expecting it to be… more intact, for whatever reason.

With walls made up of rotten wood, and a half burnt down barn, it definitely fit the image of a shack, rather than a cabin. The door was on the ground in front of the frame, and the fence surrounding the property may as well not be there, with how many gaps were in it.

“Well… it’s something.” You offered, pausing your horse behind Tommy’s as he stopped, staring ahead.

“Okay, let’s check it out. We’ll leave them here.” He told you, gesturing towards the horses as he swung his leg over his own, stepping onto solid ground. You did the same, letting Tommy grasp your bicep to keep you steady as you managed to get down. He took the reins of your horse, tying it loosely to a branch not far from his own horse. “Got your knife, too?” He asked, when watching you grasp your gun.

“No, Tommy, you forget that you guys took all my stuff when I first got to town?” You drawled, looking flatly as him, and he returned your expression, rolling his eyes before relenting, giving you a switchblade he’d had shoved in his pocket. “What about you?”

He unsheathed a larger blade from his thigh, waving it in your direction, and you rolled your own eyes at him, reminding yourself to not care about his safety, next time.

You put the knife in your own pocket, and gripped your gun with firm fingers as you followed behind the Miller man, eyes set as you kept an ear out for anything moving around.

The floorboards to the cabin creaked as he stepped inside, and you both cringed, stilling. When nothing came around the corner to try and kill you, Tommy glanced back at you, nodding to continue. The good thing was that there were no signs of clickers, no telltale clicking or stumbling feet. However, from somewhere in the cabin, something was groaning.

“You stick behind me, okay?” Tommy told you, his voice firm and leaving no room for argument. Not that you would have argued, anyway, because you knew better. You’d rather be stuck in the backseat than him do something stupid and get himself killed trying to protect you. With your confirming nod, he sighed quietly, before continuing on with practiced light footsteps.

You raised your gun higher when the sound steadily grew louder, and Tommy grew tense as the two of you got closer. Finally reaching the room, Tommy peered into the doorway, his expression showing that he’d seen the Infected responsible for all the noise. You peeked between his shoulder and the door when he moved closer, gun raised toward the thing’s head.

It was newly turned, you would’ve guessed, as it still sounded almost human as it cried. The hair on its head hadn't thinned as it usually did with time, and on its arm, you could see the dried blood around where those raised marks originated — the bite. You wondered if the one that bit it was still around, or if this thing had had the sense to shoot it while it had been human.

Stepping into the room, Tommy pulled the trigger, as the Infected turned its head at the noise, mouth opening to let out a shout before it was interrupted by the bullet. You jumped, not expecting the sudden gunshot noise, and you had forgotten just how loud the sound actually was.

Everything was silent for a moment after, both of you holding your breath as you waited for something else to happen. When it was clear after a few seconds, Tommy approached the body, patting pockets and pulling out a small box of pistol ammo, which he stuffed into his own pocket. The thing didn’t have a gun on it, surprisingly. You wondered if it would’ve been here if it had had a gun on it, but chose not to voice that.

When there was a resounding cry, echoing around the hollow wooden walls, Tommy thought his heart was going to stop. There was a door on the wall beside the one you had entered, and he couldn’t tell which way the sound was coming from.

“The corner.” You suggested, nodding over to the corner of the room, so you could have a clear view of both doors, the only possible entrances. Tommy nodded, ushering you over first, and he followed, raising his gun towards the door on the left, while he nodded you toward the one on the right.

Something clattered to the floor in the cabin, and you breathed steadily form your nose, adjusting your grip on the gun just slightly, and keeping your eyes locked onto the doorway.

It let out another yell, much closer than it had been earlier, and Tommy kept his own gun trained on the left doorway. When it smacked into something nearby, Tommy pressed his finger over the trigger, waiting.

The Infected stumbled into the right door, and the gunshot echoed throughout the room, with Tommy letting out a harsh breath as he watched you lower your smoking gun slightly, looking over the top of it to check the thing stayed down. It did.

“Nice going, kid.” Tommy said, slightly begrudgingly, but he couldn’t help feeling something like pride in his chest. You were a good kid, and he hadn't doubted you, but you hadn't let him down. You were as good of a shot in real-life situations as you were in simulated ones. Moving targets didn't prove to be an issue. However, it did mean that he had no excuse for keeping you off of the patrols he’d promised to allow you on.

You smiled. “Told you so.” You said, and raised your gun, looking through the doorway to the left as Tommy searched the second Infected’s pockets for anything of use. Coming up empty handed, he followed you through the second door, watching as you searched through drawers, the room being a dead end. You waved a box of rifle ammunition at him triumphantly. “Better check the rest of the place.”

He nodded, and you went back to following behind him, glad that at least his tense shoulders had loosened the slightest bit after the show of your skill. You could understand his nerves — you wouldn’t like to have a kid completely reliant on you, either. But you could take care of yourself.

Finally, Tommy realised that, too.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

When Joel burst into the Miller home, Tommy hadn’t really known what to expect. His brother had changed over the years, much like he had, and while they remained close, things between them hadn’t been the same since Sarah. Joel hadn’t been the same.

His eyes were wide, his hair unruly, and Tommy realised he’d probably just woken up after taking the night patrol. Joel usually prided himself on being in control during stressful situations, but he was definitely not composed.

“What are you doing here, Joel?” Tommy asked, eyebrows raised as he turned to the man, holding his son in his arms. He had hoped that they could bond over this — fatherhood — but Joel had remained somewhat distant, steering clear of the baby Miller. He wasn’t expecting Joel until later on, an hour or two, at the least, when him and Ellie were meant to be joining Tommy and Maria for dinner, whilst you dined at the dining hall with your new friend.

“I ask you to keep her safe, that’s all I asked of you, and now you’re letting her on patrols?” Joel spat, his voice loud, and Tommy’s son stirred in his arms, distressed at the shouting.

He should’ve expected this — part of him did, which was probably why Tommy hadn’t told Joel about it, even when he asked what had caused you to storm out of the house, all those days ago. Tommy sighed, tilting his head back and closing his eyes in annoyance.

“She asked to go, Joel, I’m not gonna shield her from the world.” Tommy reasoned, shifting his son to hold in one hand, now that he had stirred from where he had been falling asleep. Tommy supposed he’d be missing his afternoon nap, now. They were going to have a grumpy child on their hands, in the coming hours.

“She’s seen enough of the world, Tommy! Why do you think I left her here? You think that was for nothin’?” Joel responded, immediately, a hot feeling settling heavy on his neck as he looked at his brother. Everything he had done, everything he had sacrificed by leaving you behind, for what? For his little brother to go over his head, and disregard those decisions? You would barely even speak to him. It hurt, and it carved a pain in his chest that was only rivalled by the loss of his first daughter.

Joel thinks of those times he’d tried to reach out, tried to help you understand, and thinks of how you had rejected each attempt. The most civil interaction he’d had with you was delivering that food after the argument you’d had with Tommy — and the two of you had barely spoken.

He thinks of how this might be the rest of his life — reaching for you, and watching you turn away.

Joel knew he’d do it all again in a split second, if it kept you safe. He didn’t want to imagine what might have happened if you had joined them, didn’t want to think about the time he had almost lost Ellie, didn’t want to imagine it could’ve been both of you.

Tommy feels bad, for a moment, but he knows that you’re capable of being out there. Besides, it wasn’t like he was shoving you out of the gates on your own! The moment you gave him an inkling of the idea that you didn't want to be out there, he’d be stopping the patrols.

“Joel,” Tommy sighed, because part of him feels pity for his older brother, who struggles far more than he lets on, but he also understands your anger. Two sides of the same coin. “Nobody’s sayin’ that was for nothing. But she’s not some little kid, alright? And I was with her the whole time, nothing was gonna happen to her.”

“You’re not invincible, Tommy,” Joel said, his brows furrowed, and he doesn’t halt himself even as he hears footsteps coming down the stairs, likely drawn by the commotion he’d caused. “And neither is she. God damn it, Tommy.” He raised his hand, holding the bridge of his nose as he turned away from his little brother, trying to gain back some of his composure.

Maria stepped around him, cautiously taking the baby from Tommy’s grip, and said, “What’s going on down here?” She looked between the two brothers, waiting for somebody to answer her.

“He doesn’t want her goin’ on patrols.” Tommy said at last, after silence had lingered for too long, and he didn’t need to say much else for Maria to know who he was talking about.

“Trust me, Joel, I wasn’t thrilled about it, either.” Maria spoke, going to say some more before Joel cut her off, his hand moving from his face to gesture wildly in front of him.

“She’s just a kid!” Joel yelled out, unable to help himself. He thinks back to when the raiders came, to the way panic had gripped him as he shoved Ellie across the street toward his brother’s, and had set off toward the ceramic shop. He remembered his heart beating so wildly in his chest that he thought it might give out, especially when he caught sight of a raider, the gear too reminiscent of a night so long ago, a light shining in his eyes, blinding him, until all he could hear was Sarah. “Don’t you get it?” He asked, almost desperately.

“I get it, Joel.” Maria said, her voice so stern that Joel couldn’t interrupt, even if he had wanted to. He looked to the door on his left, catching sight of the names still written on that chalkboard, and he knows. He looked to Maria, and he could see it on her face. She knew, just as much as he did. “But it’s not our choice. All we can do is try to keep her safe, wherever she goes.”

It helps, for a moment, that there’s somebody who does understand, but then he’s just filled with something burning, and he turns away from the chalkboard before he can imagine your name written up there, next. “If she dies, that’s on you.” He spat, pointing an accusing finger at his younger brother, “And I’ll never forgive you for it.”

Tommy watched his brother turn away, slam the door shut so hard the walls shook, and feels the weight on his shoulders get heavier. He sighed, Maria’s hand on his shoulder doing nothing to relieve the burden.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Jesse’s hands were covered in wet clay, and you could only laugh as he cursed, baring his teeth at the wheel in front of him, covered in splatters of clay. “How the…” He started, trailing off and sputtering when he pressed too hard on the pedal, making a watery clay fly in all directions, including straight to his face.

“Okay, I think that’s enough of that.” You told him, pulling him away from the stool he was sat on, and watching the spinning slow to a stop, Jesse’s miserable attempt at pottery left looking even worse when you could actually see it. He was sulking, you knew before even facing him, and couldn’t help but snicker.

“Oh, shut up. Not everyone can be a damn… whatever you are.” Jesse retorted, glaring at you as your snicker turned into a laugh as he failed to find a phrase for you. “Okay, stop laughing. Stop! It’s not funny!”

You continued grinning at him, as he washed his hands clean of clay remnants, and watched as he dried them on a rag left by the sink. “Oh, come on Jesse, you should know by now that your misery brings me the most joy and entertainment.” You said, smiling sweetly at the boy who had quickly grown comfortable in your space.

When you had actually invited him, you couldn’t recall, but he had a way of just inviting himself into places. You didn’t mind it all that much, despite how tired you were after going on patrol. You were pretty sure that it was from the faded adrenaline, the rush of being back in the real world leaving you wiped out. It had been more than a few months by now since you had been out there, travelling and facing those things every day.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” He asked, jokingly, pouting at where you were scraping his failed creation off of the wheel, throwing the clay in the bucket beside the machine, where you usually threw your own failed attempts.

“Hey, you know where the door is.” You replied, not turning to look at him despite finishing cleaning the wheel as you said it. You didn't want to think about the truth of the words, or why the concept made your chest ache in a painfully familiar way. Why did you do this to yourself?

“Not going anywhere,” Jesse said, a hint of truth to his words, and you turned to glance at him, if only to give him a raised eyebrow in response. “I mean, who else is gonna tell me the story of their very first patrol?”

You shook your head at him, despite the way his words relieved the ache the smallest bit, and sighed. “I mean, when you put it that way…” You trailed, rolling your eyes when he sat himself down on another stool, leaning forward and looking at you like he was a child, waiting for story time.

As you told the story, you made it more dramatic, just for his sake, though it was entertaining you, too, even if you wouldn’t admit that aloud.

Tommy, stood outside the shop door, listened as you told it, feeling that weight on his shoulders pull him down further as you got closer to the end of your tale, laughter shared between you and Jesse at the exaggerated details. He laid his head against the frame, sighing heavily when he caught your final words, “You should’ve seen it, man. We were the dream team. Fighting off Infected, saving the cabin, one bullet at a time.”

Jesse laughed, and you joined, sure the grin on your face would never be wiped away in that moment. “You gotta convince him to bring me!”

“Hm, maybe one day, asshole.” You responded, rolling your eyes at the pleading expression Jesse was sending your way.

“Come on, I’m a way better shot than I am… potter-er.” He justified, sighing when you laughed at his choice of words, echoing it in a disbelieving tone.

Tommy walked away from the shop, unsure what to do about the weight that was getting too heavy for his aged joints.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It had been around four months since you had started doing patrols, but only two weeks since you’d been doing them without Tommy. Spring had been leaking into summer when you had started, but now, the days were dropping colder, clouds looking heavier by the day.

This morning, you felt an inkling of nerves as you looked to the sky, worried about it finally storming, like the sky had been threatening for the past few days. You hated when your worries were proved correct.

“Shit, it’s getting bad out here.” You said loudly, squinting your eyes to see through the quickly-thickening snow that was falling. It was settling against the ground in deep blankets, surprisingly quickly. You didn’t think this winter would be as bad as last years, but it seemed you were proved wrong there, at least.

“Should we go find shelter?” Jesse yelled back from behind you, his hand over his eyes, trying to keep his horse as close to yours as he could.

“I don’t know if these buildings have been cleared!” You responded, feeling your heart thrum heavily in your chest as you looked through the falling snowflakes at the buildings around you. They were mostly houses, with one building that looked like it could’ve held offices.

“What other option do we have?” Jesse asked. You huffed, surprising yourself as you agreed with his thought process — you were at risk the longer you stayed out here, and the horses might not make it all the way back to Jackson. Especially as the snow on the ground got thicker, your horse getting nervous as she treaded through it. You patted her neck as soothingly as you could, looking back towards where Jesse was following, and you hated how you regretted convincing Tommy to let him come along.

You were meant to be travelling with another patroller from Jackson, but he had turned back a while ago, complaining of a stomach issue. You grit your teeth, recalling how he had nervously surveyed the clouds as the first sprinkle of snow had appeared. He had convinced Jesse it would be fine to go along without his guidance, and you hated how the two of you had trusted his judgement.

“Okay,” You relented, turning your horse to head towards a house opposite the office building. “That one’s got a garage! We can get the horses in there.”

Jesse followed you as you led the way, and you huffed a breath that disappeared between falling snowflakes, nervous for a reason you couldn’t quite explain. You got off of your horse, handing the reins to Jesse where he was perched upon his own, and you hefted the garage door up with a bit of difficulty, cringing at the way the metal screeched. You peered underneath, seeing no sign of Infected as it got halfway, but your head snapped up when you heard something in the distance, barely there over the swirling winds.

“We good?” Jesse urged, his teeth chattering, and you looked at him before nodding, lifting the garage door up the rest of the way. He pulled your horse alongside him as he rode inside, and you pulled the door shut behind you as you followed.

The temperature wasn’t much better in the garage, but the lack of snow falling on you certainly helped. You let out a deep breath, watching it cloud the air in front of your face, and let your head fall back against the wall behind you.

“You okay?” Jesse asked hesitantly, pulling his wet gloves from his hands and rubbing his hands together, trying to generate some warmth.

“Yeah,” You responded, almost absently, and looked up when Jesse said your name, “Just— Just thinking of how Tommy’s gonna kill that asshole, when he gets back without us.”

Jesse smiled, scoffing out a slight laugh despite the situation, and nodded in agreement, “Oh yeah, he’s dead meat.” He let a moment of silence pass, not wanting to voice the thought that you’d also just had, that Tommy might not be back in Jackson, either. He was sent on a route in the opposite direction, to take out a dozen Infected with a small group of others. Jesse cleared his throat, shoving his gloves into his pocket. “So, when we get back, I was thinking…”

“Uh oh, this can’t be good.” You interrupted, grinning at the roll of his eyes.

“I was thinking,” He repeated, “Maybe I should introduce you to my friend, Dina.”

You raised your eyebrows, snickering at the nerves in his tone as he suggested it. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to meet your friend Dina.” You reminded, after you had seen him trying to chat the girl up. You thought she had seemed into it, but apparently that meant you weren’t allowed to meet her, lest you embarrass Jesse in front of his crush.

“I have reconsidered. Shut up.” He responded when you snickered. “Don’t make me change my mind!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. I’d love to meet her.” You said, continuing to grin when he groaned and dropped his chin to his chest, clearly regretting making the suggestion already. He was pretty sure the two of you would team up against him. “You sit there and suffer, I’m gonna check the house out.”

Jesse frowned, moving to follow you, but you waved him away, knowing that he was annoyingly better with the horses. You thought of what had happened to him when you’d not long become friends, and grinned to yourself.

You held your gun up as you left the garage, looking in each room carefully, methodically, like you had done it hundreds of times before. You didn’t keep count, so really, you might have.

The house was empty, of almost everything, clearly ransacked a long time ago. At least a few years, you would’ve guessed, looking at the way dust and cobwebs had settled on ruined furniture, cracked family photos. You picked a broken frame up, twisting it in your hand, and frowned as you saw the way the crack marred the faces of the family in the photo.

Upstairs was arguably worse, the bedrooms completely destroyed, and you couldn’t help but wonder if the family who had lived here was still alive. You were sure they would hate to see what had become of what had once been their home, so part of you hoped they weren’t.

You looked at a wardrobe that had been completely disassembled, clothes torn out and strewn across the floor, old sentimental pieces left to rot on the dusty carpet. You stepped towards the window, moving aside the blue curtain, and peered outside at the worsening storm. You squinted at the ground, wondering if your eyes were playing tricks on you, until you saw that the footprints were definitely there.

And they were coming from the opposite way you and Jesse had appeared from, heading straight toward the front door.

With a new sense of urgency, you gripped the gun in your hand tightly, stepping down the stairs as quickly as you could without completely giving away your presence. You peered around the corner, seeing a mass of black clothes moving outside the frosted glass of the front door.

“Jesse!” You hissed, stepping into the garage and watching him jump where he had been petting your horse’s neck. He stood straighter, eyebrows furrowing as you shut the garage door gently behind you, gripping your gun as if your life depended on it. “We’ve got company. We need to get out of here.”

He nodded, shoving down his fear and starting to grasp the reins of the horses, beginning the frustratingly slow process of turning them around in such a small space. “How long?”

“Not long enough.” You acknowledged, ear pressed to the door leading to the rest of the house, and you heard the doorknob rattle. “Get the horses ready, I’ll buy us some time.”

Jesse said your name nervously, but you shot him down, urging him to just do what you say with a look he hadn't seen before in your eyes. You opened the door, peering around the corner the slightest bit, gun aimed towards the door. You took a deep breath, steadying your aim as they finally got it open, two rushing in immediately.

The first one went down, dropped to the floor with a single bullet to the neck, and you tried to tune out the way he gargled. The woman who followed him ducked to the side, pressing against it, and you shot the third person who peered around the doorway, saying nothing when they yelled out a curse, injured, but not dead.

You didn't know how many there were. That was making you more nervous than you could comprehend, especially as you shot a fourth who tried to enter, watching her fall to the snow outside, and trying not to focus on the blood that stained the white blanket when somebody dragged her body out of the way.

A shot far too close to you made you duck back into the garage, turning your head to see Jesse turning his horse the right way. He gave you a thumbs up when they were ready, and you nodded, flinching halfway through at the shot that settled in the wood just above your shoulder.

With a huff, you slammed the door shut, pulling a cabinet in front of it with a heave that made your arms ache, the wood far heavier than you had expected. It clattered in front of the door, stopping the people on the other side from entering as you heard several sets of footsteps rushing in, the moment the door closed.

“Get on!” You urged, reaching for the bottom of the garage door and heaving it open in one quick movement, grasping onto your horse and fighting the panic when you struggled to get on her. “Go!” You yelled to Jesse, following him a moment after when you were on your horse.

Blood was rushing through your ears, tinting the snow falling around you a faint red around the edges of your vision, and you gripped the reins tighter. When shots began firing from behind you, you leaned your chest down, closer to your horse, and tried to hurry her into going faster, unable to feel the pity you usually would for forcing speed in such terrible conditions.

A shot to the glass of the office building drew your attention, and you heard the glass shatter behind you, but your eyes were unable to turn back to see what followed when Jesse cried out, sliding off of his horse in the moment of shock.

You pulled your horse to a stop when his own rode off, too panicked to stop and wait for his rider. “Jesse!” You yelled, hand going low as you leaned to the side, using the hand he grasped onto you with to help get him on your own horse. “Come on, come on.” You urged again, your heart hammering as you saw the drops of blood that stained the snow where he had fallen. “You asshole, hold on!”

When Jesse grasped firmly onto you with one arm, you hurried your horse forward again, knowing it would only be more difficult for her with the added weight. As soon as you got to the forest cover, it would be okay, you had to assure yourself.

Groaning behind you only panicked you further, and you felt your pulse in your throat as shuffling in the snow grew louder, before some of the gunshots stopped coming, the sound of screams filling your ears.

It blurred in your mind, the moment you reached the tree cover, only just remembering to look back behind Jesse to check you weren’t being followed when you had travelled for a few minutes. You felt Jesse slipping before he could say anything about it, and you had to stop the horse when he slipped so far you only just stopped him from falling. You couldn’t remember doing it, but you eventually got him draped over the horse in front of you, and you held a hand firmly on him as you urged the horse to go faster.

Getting back to Jackson was the easiest part, with the route melded into your mind, and despite the snow that covered everything, you knew the way.

The lookouts didn’t see you until you were almost at the gate, where they yelled for you to be let in. Multiple people poured out, helping you get Jesse off of the horse as you dismounted, and watched them carry him in, with him managing only weak steps where he was held up between two shoulders. When Tommy rushed up to you, his hands grasping your face, you wondered if Jesse had been speaking to you, that whole time, because at first, you couldn’t hear his voice.

“Are you hurt? Kid, are you hurt?” He demanded, tapping a hand against your cheek when your eyes drifted to where Jesse disappeared between the gates.

You shook your head, “‘M fine. We— we got ambushed, they’re still out there.” You responded almost absently, letting out a harsh exhale and feeling Tommy’s hands fall from your face, as he swore and brought a hand up to his head. “What? What is it?” You asked, your attention finally caught.

“Joel, he went out after you.” Tommy replied, reluctantly, and you felt your heart drop.

“What?” You asked, wanting him to repeat it to ensure your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you, that this hadn’t been the breaking point. “Joel’s out there?” When Tommy nodded, a sense of urgency went through you, and you stepped back, grasping the reins of your horse from whoever had grabbed hold of them.

You shuffled your way atop the horse, getting on and turning her around before Tommy could quite comprehend what you were doing. His eyes widened and he stepped towards you, hands out, pleading, and you hated the look on his face as you rode away.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Your name being called in the distance caught your attention, and your head snapped towards the sound, where it was being yelled between gunshots. You swore, and rode on further, until you could finally see what faced you.

From the tree line, you could see the bodies of the people who had attempted to ambush you, half trampled by the horde of over a dozen Infected, which were swarming around as they were picked off slowly, from a house to the side of the one you had been in. You saw the glint of a gun coming from the shattered window of the living room.

Holding the reins still, you grasped onto your gun, adjusting your grip to accommodate the leather in your hand. You fired a single shot into the face of one of the runners, who was making too much progress in getting toward the window. You could only hope that it was Joel, as the sound of your name had fallen to a pause.

Between you and who you hoped was Joel, the hoard was picked off in no time, with them barely paying you any attention from your spot in the distance. Only one had come toward you, and it was dead before you could even change your aim.

“Joel?” You yelled, nerves making your throat clog up, and you squinted through the falling snow that had slowed during your shooting. “Joel?” You shouted again, louder that time, pushing past the lump in your throat.

He responded, calling your name, and you slid off of your horse, wrapping the reins around a branch and rushing to head towards the sound. When you peered through the broken window, stepping around bodies of humans and Infected alike, you saw him there, hand gripping tightly over a bleeding wound in his thigh. Joel’s shoulders fell when he saw you, a breath of relief leaving him, rushing out in a cloud that blocked the image of his face for a moment.

You stepped through the window frame, hissing when broken glass nicked your palm, and you held out your hand to help him stand. His bare hand grasped your gloved one, and you frowned for a moment, before focusing on pulling him to his unsteady feet.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked, after he was finally stood on his own feet without your assistance. “You know what, don’t answer that.”

He said your name, and you whirled around to face him fully from where you had turned towards the doorway. “Please, let’s…”

“Let’s what, Joel?” You questioned, desperation leaking into the tone of your voice. “Let’s hug and make up after you almost got yourself killed? Is that it?”

“I came out here to help you!” He defended, looking at you with a pleading expression, his hand covered in blood as he pressed it harder against his leg.

“I didn’t need your help, Joel!” You yelled, hands waving in the air in your exasperation. “I had it covered. I’m not that same kid that needed saving, don’t you get that? You saved me. You already saved me, so why do you keep trying to get a do over?”

He gaped at you, for a moment, and couldn’t answer.

Joel thought of you, the face that was so much different from the one that looked at him now, thought of the way you had clung to him and Tess, as if your life depended on it. He supposed, it might’ve. He wonders if that’s why it hurt so much, that you pulled away, that it was an admission that you didn’t need him.

You stared at him, the man who had held on to you back at Boston QZ, who had done that despite the way it made his skin crawl, made his heart race. You knew now that he must’ve thought of his daughter, each time you looked to him with scared eyes, looked to him for answers, for protection. Knew that he must’ve been stuck in that day, all those years before, where he had failed at the first daughter who had looked to him that way.

“Please,” Joel repeated, because he didn’t know what else he could say, or do, other than beg you for something he wasn’t even sure he knew himself. Did he want forgiveness? “I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to. But look at us.” He gestured between the two of you, the way you gripped your gun where you had slung it over your shoulder, the way he held onto a bleeding wound. “All I ever do is fail you, again and again and again. I couldn’t keep doing it. I failed Tess. I failed Sam, Henry… I couldn’t fail you. Not again.”

You stared at him, at the open wound he wasn’t attempting to hide, and you couldn’t stop the pull of your lips as you bared your teeth at him, swallowing the lump in your throat that made your eyes sting. You wondered, then, if showing your own unhealed wound would change anything, but you didn't think it would. You didn’t think anything could change the distance between the two of you.

With the heart in your chest aching, though for what, you couldn’t decipher, you shook your head, tilting it up towards the water-stained ceiling of this house. “Joel, that isn’t…” You sighed, closing your eyes, knowing that his expression would make you crack. “No, it’s not fair. I didn’t ask you to— to come back to Jackson, to come out here to protect me. You left me behind, so what? I’d be safe?”

His chest was painful, feeling so tight he wasn’t sure it would ever rise if he let his lungs empty, so he held his breath, staring at you as you refused to look at him.

“I was safest when I was with you.” You admitted, and Joel didn’t fail to notice the past tense of that sentence. “I was scared of losing you, of losing Ellie, like I had lost everybody else. I didn’t want to see that. I wanted to stay with you both. You made my fear come to life.”

Joel frowned, not moving as you stepped forward, finally looking at him, to point an accusing finger towards his chest. He said your name, wanting nothing more than to reach out for you, to hold you close and swear he’d keep you safe, but he was starting to realise your perspective. He was starting to realise that to you, he had failed. The moment he had left you behind, he had failed.

“And I hate you for it.” You added, arms falling to your sides, despite the way your fists clenched, just aching to hit him where it hurt, to not stop until he felt how you did.

“I’ll…” He trailed off, sure his next words would be the wrong ones, but he didn’t know what else he could say. “I’ll leave, if you want me to. I’ll go and I won’t come back, but only if you tell me. I don’t wanna leave you again.”

“You can’t just… put that on me.” You said desperately, turning to the window and taking another step away from him. “I don’t want you to leave, but I’m not sure how much I want you to stay, either.”

Joel blinked away the tears that were coming to his eyes as he looked at you, feeling like the two of you were miles apart.

“I don’t forgive you.” You told him, gritting your teeth, “And I don’t know if I ever will, but I…” You trailed off, looking out to where your horse was still stood in the faltering snow, suddenly feeling a harsh pang of guilt for leaving her there. “Let’s just get home, okay?”

“Okay.” Joel agreed, unsure what else he could do. Maybe, you were right, and you wouldn’t ever forgive him. Maybe he would live out the rest of his days, with only memories of you, only catching a glimpse of you as he passed you in Jackson, with you not sparing him a glance, as if the two of you were strangers. He doesn’t know if he can quite cope with that.

He tried to hold some hope in the fact that you were here, you had come back out here, for him, as he followed you out of the door of the house, limping his way to your horse, frowning where his own had been taken down by the horde. He tried not to linger on the thought.

You settled behind him on your own horse, and it hurt his chest, thinking that this is the exact way the two of you had been when riding into Jackson the first time. He hoped everything didn’t fall apart again, like it had before.

When your forehead rested against his back, complete exhaustion falling heavily on your shoulders, Joel tried not to hope.

He had never been good at such things, when it came to you.

PART FIVE

▹ — if the door wasn’t shut taglist (all parts): @sleepylunarwolf @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @mandowhatnow @aphrcdites @doodlebob-mp3 @rrickgrrimes8 @nikt-wazny-y @fallenoutofrose @wrathofcats @kakimakiloh @famoussuitcasepiebagel-blog @poliars @esstark @bella820 @gtxbitch

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagine #joel miller imagines #joel miller father figure #joel miller angst #joel miller fic #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller father figure #tommy miller angst #tlou imagine #tlou one shot #tlou imagines #tlou angst #the last of us one shot #the last of us imagine #heartpascal writes

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hexiewrites · 2 years

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I’ve been thinking a lot about late-deafened Steve, and what that actually would have looked like. Because the thing is: I love this head cannon. Boy got bashed around so much, ESPECIALLY on his left side, theres no way he didn’t come out of that with some long term damage. And I’ve been thinking about what that means for him, when his hearing starts to go, and how isolating that would be.

Except. Then I keep thinking about Robin.

Give me child-of-Deaf-adults Robin. Robin whose parents met at Gallaudet. Who were confused and upset when the doctor said, relief clear on his face, oh thank god, how lucky, your baby is normal, she can HEAR. Robin who grows up a in a Deaf home with a Deaf family. Who learns ASL before she learns English. Who never learns to be quiet because at home it doesn’t matter, so she can blast trumpet all day long to no complaints, and forever feels uncomfortable in places where she has to try to keep it down. Robin who grows up learning ASL and English and thrives, loves the way her brain works when it’s parsing languages, and starts teaching herself French and Spanish too, blasting day time Spanish soap operas constantly whenever she’s at home, shouting along with the screen. Robin who interprets for her parents, taking on burdens no seven year old should when she’s the one who has to tell her mom the cancers back. Robin who, four years later, gets to tell her dad that the surgery worked. The cancers gone. Moms gonna be ok. Robin who, at eleven, doesn’t know the sign for remission but she signs CANCER-one hand eating at the other like the disease that almost took her Mom-and signs FINISH, signs NONE, signs MOM-OKAY, MOM-SAFE, and is glad her dad can’t hear how loud her sobs are because even she’s embarrassed at the noises she’s making.

Robin who doesn’t quite fit at home, the loud little girl in the odd quiet house (not that her house is ever quiet: if you dont realize you’re making noise you don’t do anything to tamper it), and who doesn’t quite fit at school, when she shows up in kindergarten signing instead of speaking and all the other kids make fun of her for years, call her spazzy Buckley and imitate the signs, crude and heartbreaking and she can’t even cry here because everyone can hear her. Robin who teaches herself to speak without signing, sits on her hands and tries not to internalize the hatred, but her fingers still twitch constantly along with the words. Robin who thinks she’s never going to fit in, and tries to separate out the two different parts of herself because it’s easier, most days, to pretend to be “normal” even though that feels wrong too.

Give me Robin, who knows Steve inside out and who knows what it looks like when someone can’t hear you but pretends they can. Robin who clocks Steve immediately, even though he tries to brush her off like he’s been doing to everyone. Robin who finally takes him home to meet her parents, explaining it all in the car (into his right ear, which is better than the left though still starting to fade). Robin who gives Steve the gift of understanding and hope for the future. Who holes up with him and teaches him sign, slow at first (because Steve has never been good at grammar, and he constantly furrows his eyebrows despite her pleas that eyebrows are important in ASL and he needs to use his face more or he’s going to confuse everyone, it’s the visual equivalent of lilting your voice up like every sentence is a question and it’s weird, Steve!) and then faster as he starts to realize how useful it is, starts to bring her lists full of signs to learn, starts to lean on and cherish the experience of this new way to communicate. Robin, who helps him practice lipreading even though she’s terrible at it. Robin, who finally convinces him to get a hearing aid and lets him sob into her shoulder when the doctor says it’ll help for a few years, but long term there’s probably nothing they can do, and then tells him to buck it up because there are way worse things than being a little deaf and besides, now the Buckleys will just have to adopt him for real because they did always talk about adopting a deaf child or two, if there was ever one in need.

Give me CODA Robin, whose never felt like she belonged until she nearly gets murdered by Russians with her best friend. Who brings Steve into her life, shows him Deaf culture, gives him a place where he fits. Robin who finally realizes that this is her place too, and it’s so much sweeter for getting to share it with the people she loves.

And then, after, give me Eddie knocking on the Buckley door and begging to learn ASL too. Give me Robin’s mom, somehow roped in to teaching him and the party, as they try to learn in secret to make Steve’s life easier (and their own, because ASL is god tier for pulling pranks from opposite sides of a high school cafeteria). Give me Dustin, excitedly telling Miranda Buckley to FUCK-OFF every week for months because he thinks he’s saying THANK-YOU and she finds it too funny to correct him. Give me Eddie trying to surprise Steve and ask him out on a date, but instead of signing HUNGRY, WANT YOU&ME GO AFTER WORK? he signs HORNY, WANT YOU&ME GO FUCK?

And give me Steve, who thinks about it for a long minute (partially because Eddie totally botches the grammar, but partially because he looks so hot, standing there nervous and trying to communicate with Steve in a way that will make him the most comfortable) before he smirks and signs back YEAH, and takes Eddie on the best goddamn first date of his life.

#sorry i just!!! had so many thoughts #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #steddie #at the end there #deaf steve harrington #disabled steve harrington #CODA robin buckley #asl #stranger things #stranger things headcanons #is that what youd call this #idk #word vomit #hex writes stuff #kind of!#oh and uh sorry about the angst in the middle #i couldnt help it

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corroded-hellfire · 9 months

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Jitters - Eddie Munson x Reader

An As You Wish story

Collaboration with my darling @munson-blurbs

Summary: It's the first day of school for the Munson children--ever for Eliza, but their dad is being the biggest baby of them all.

Note: With all the back-to-school excitement going on I thought, "What would Eddie be like when Eliza first starts school?" So, voila. As always, I am so thankful for all of you who read and have the loveliest things to say 💕

Words: 3.2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

If someone were to take bets on which Munson is the most miserable on the first day of school, they might pick Ryan. Sixteen years old, starting his junior year, and seemingly irritated by every move someone makes.

They might pick fourteen-year-old Luke, the Tasmanian Devil himself, constantly lamenting about how boring his teachers are.

Or they might pick Eliza, no longer getting to be the big fish in the daycare’s small pond, but now a full-fledged preschooler—one who is not happy about getting up early.

Any of these would be fine guesses. But they would also be dead wrong.

“My babies are all grown up!” Eddie bemoans, watching Eliza slide a comically oversized Little Mermaid backpack over her tiny shoulders. He stares at his sons as they shove their feet into their new sneakers, conveniently ignoring the repeated warnings not to break their shoes.

Ryan catches his dad looking at them and rolls his eyes. “Take a picture; it’ll last longer,” he quips, groaning when Eddie dashes into the bedroom to grab his camera. “Crap, I didn’t mean literally.”

“Swear jar!” Luke chirps, all-too excited to catch his big brother slipping up.

“‘Crap’ isn’t a swear word, dumbass.”

“Another dollar in the swear jar!” Luke roars, nearly colliding with the wall as he darts away from Ryan before the elder boy can get his hands on him.

You give the two boys a biting glare from across the room. If you can't keep them from using bad language all the time, they at least need to adhere to the rule when their little sister is in the room. Luckily, Eliza is currently admiring her new black Mary Jane shoes and was paying no mind to what was happening around her.

Before Ryan and Luke can start bickering again, you herd them over to the side of the living room where the lighting is the best for pictures.

“Come on, come on,” you say as you practically push them across the space. “Dad’s getting the camera, let’s get this show on the road.”

Ryan groans and drops his head back in irritation. “Can’t you just take some of Eliza? You have enough of us.”

“We never have enough of you,” you tell him, moving towards him on instinct to press a kiss to the top of his head—only to come face to face with the reminder that he’s taller than you now. “Eliza, come on over here, baby girl.”

Eliza looks up from where she’s now inspecting the pink overall dress she’s wearing. Her two curly little pigtails bounce with every motion. She hikes up her green sparkly princess backpack as she skips towards you. She becomes derailed, however, when Eddie walks back into the room. Eliza diverts her attention and makes a not-quite-a-surprise attack on his legs.

“Rawr! Gotchu Daddy!”

“Oh no!” Eddie feigns, clasping the camera to his chest. “I guess I can’t take you to preschool then, huh? Such a shame.”

“Nice try,” you tell him. “She’s still going.”

Eddie’s brows furrow together in another one of the little pouts he’s been giving you for the past few days. He thinks his baby girl is growing up too fast—does he think you don’t feel the same way? You just don’t show your emotions as expressively as your husband does.

“She’s only three,” Eddie says about your daughter. “Shouldn’t we wait until she’s at least four?”

“She’ll be four next month, Eddie,” you remind him. “This is when she’s supposed to start preschool.”

The sullen father has nothing to say in response to that, so he just looks down at the camera and fiddles with it, making sure there’s enough film and that it’s on the right settings. You take the opportunity to walk over towards Ryan.

“Was he this bad when Luke started school?” you ask in a hushed voice.

Ryan considers it for a moment before shrugging. “In my childhood mind, no. But I also used to believe it when Dad told me I’d look like Popeye if I ate my spinach, so who knows?”

“I can only imagine how he was with you.” With a small smirk, you grab Ryan’s arms and give him a small shake from side to side. “His first born,” you coo in a sickeningly sweet tone. Ryan shoos you away from him, but you can see the smile on his face that he’s trying his damndest to hide.

In the meantime, Luke grabs a Kleenex box from the kitchen counter, lowering onto bended knee and presenting it to Eddie.

“A gift for thou, Sir Sobs-a-Lot,” he says, adopting an exaggerated British accent.

Eddie thumps him on the back of the head, but takes a tissue regardless.

“Wayne always said I’d be screwed if my kids were as weird as me,” he muses.

“Dad,” Luke fake-whines, “don’t say that about Eliza!”

Eliza furrows her little eyebrows and makes a run for her brother, charging towards him like a provoked rhinoceros.

Luke is quicker, though, and holds her prisoner against his chest with a menacing cackle.

“Mean brother,” Eliza mumbles, face smushed against him.

He grins triumphantly. “That’s why you love me so much.” He presses a big smacking kiss to her cheek and lets her go, gasping in feigned offense when she wipes it away and wanders back to Eddie.

“Time for school! Let’s gooooooo, Daddy!” She takes his hand and tugs him towards the door, equal parts eager and exasperated.

Eddie obliges, but you can tell that this isn’t easy for him. “Why is she so eager to leave?” he asks you under his breath. “Ryan and Luke were practically wrapped around my ankles begging me to let them stay home.”

“I think she’s just excited to meet new friends and learn new things!” you say with a smile, trying to hold back your own tears. “Isn’t that right, Liza Bean?”

Eliza nods vigorously. “Luke says I get Play-Doh!”

“Remember,” Luke crouches down to tell her, “it’s important that you taste the Play-Doh before you use it.”

The comment earns him another thump to the head from Eddie.

“Please don’t eat Play-Doh,” you beg your daughter. Or listen to anything Luke says, you silently add.

“Yeah, just stick to your lunch,” Ryan offers, always the voice of reason.

“Lots of fruits and veggies,” Luke jumps in. “Remember why?”

“SCURVY!” Eliza proudly shouts, beaming from ear to ear.

Eddie exhales and rubs the bridge of his nose, at a total loss for words. “Can you crazy children just take the pictures so we can go?” he finally manages, patience sufficiently worn thin.

“Sir, yes, sir!” the boys salute in unison.

“Yes, sir!” Eliza chimes in, happy to emulate her big brothers.

You take the camera from Eddie when you see his jaw clench. You’d been afraid of your daughter having a meltdown today, but you obviously should have been worrying about her dad.

“Okay,” you say, nodding for them to arrange themselves in front of the wall for a picture, “all three of you, first.”

Begrudgingly on the part of the teenagers, and happily on the part of the little girl exiting toddlerhood, they come together and manage to stand still while you grab a few shots of them.

“Now just Ryan, then Luke, then Liza,” you instruct. Ryan rolls his eyes as his two younger siblings step away from him.

“This is never going to end,” he mumbles.

Figuring it’s just easier to ignore him, you get your pictures of Ryan before moving on to solo Luke and then Eliza. “Now get in there, Dad,” you tell Eddie, gesturing him over to join the kids.

The moment Eddie is within reaching distance of her, Eliza raises her tiny arms to her father and insists that he holds her in the picture. Eddie, unable to deny her anything as always, complies.

“Just me and Daddy!” Eliza says.

“Eliza’s will be done,” you say before snapping one of just the pair of them.

“All right, all right,” Luke says, motioning for you to give him the camera. “You get in there, too. We’ve got a monumental day here. Another Munson in the school system.”

As you pose next to your daughter and husband, you see Ryan out of the corner of your eye. He leans in behind you and holds up two fingers as bunny ears behind Eliza’s head. His little sister didn’t see him, but she was going to get a kick out of that once you got the pictures developed. Luke also noticed the photobomber, so he takes another nicer picture.

“We ready to go now?” Luke asks. “Big day for me too, ya know. Starting high school and all. No one’s all fussy over me and I bet it’s because I don’t have pigtails. Damn.”

Eddie claps Luke on the shoulder as you take the camera from your son. “Didn’t wanna make ya nervous, kid,” Eddie says. “Also, dollar in the swear jar.”

Luke scoffs and presses a hand to his chest. “Have I ever been nervous a day in my life?”

“Well,” Ryan starts with a smug smile, “that depends if you count the time that you got paired up with Missy Collins for that science project.”

Luke’s face turns pink and his nostrils flare. You’re almost taken aback because you think this is the most flustered you’ve ever seen the usually cool and mischievous boy. Luke goes from standing perfectly still to lunging toward his older brother in milliseconds.

Ryan just lets out a whooping laugh and dodges him by heading outside. Luke is hot on his tail.

Eliza looks up at you and shakes her head, little brown pigtails swaying with the motion.

“Boys,” she says, an air of sophistication older than her three years in her tone.

“Boys,” you agree, offering her your hand. Her little fingers slide into your own and you head out the front door behind the two teenagers. Eddie grabs his keys and follows his family out.

The keys jingle in your husband’s hand, a nervous tic as he walks over to the car and unlocks it. The three kids pile into the back and Eliza and Luke bicker over buckling her car seat as you slip into the passenger’s side.

“Everyone have everything?” Eddie asks as soon as the arguing stops. “Backpacks? Lunches? Or lunch money?”

A chorus of “yes” comes from the backseat so Eddie starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, instantly wishing he could turn around and take everyone back home.

You, Eddie, and Eliza somehow arrive at the preschool on time, but not before your daughter had thoroughly embarrassed her brothers on the high school drop-off line. She’d begged Eddie to roll down her window so she could yell to them as they joined their friends.

“Bye, Ryan! Bye, Lukie!” she’d shouted. “I love you!”

You and Eddie thought it was hilarious. Luke and Ryan? Not so much.

But now, your husband is a total wreck as Eliza marches full steam ahead towards the school’s doors. Truthfully, you’re almost as bad as he is, but you’re trying to keep it together—for Eliza’s sake and for Eddie’s.

“You ready, Eliza?” You crouch down and place your hands on her shoulders.

“Yep!” She nods, baby teeth on full display when she grins excitedly.

Eddie narrows his eyes in disbelief. “Are you sure?” he asks, making you roll your eyes.

“Yep!” Eliza repeats; thankfully, she’s oblivious to his inner turmoil.

“You’re going to have a great time and make lots of new friends,” you tell her.

“And I’ll be right here, ready to pick you up when it’s over,” Eddie adds as he crouches down next to you.

It takes all your strength not to roll your eyes again or elbow Eddie in the ribs.

Eliza nods her head, little pigtails bouncing with the movement. She hikes her backpack up higher and gives you both another wide smile.

“Ready to go in?” you ask.

“Uh huh.”

You take her hand and she leads you into her new classroom, Eddie following along behind you. He’s quite literally dragging his feet, a human version of Eeyore the donkey.

A teacher, not too much younger than you, comes up to greet you all. “Hi, everyone!” she chirps in a tone that signals over-caffeination. “Welcome to preschool! I’m Miss Riley, your teacher.”

For the first time this morning, Eliza seems hesitant. She looks up at you for approval and you nod your head at her.

“I’m Eliza Marie Munson,” she announces, and you bite back a laugh at her formality.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Eliza,” Miss Riley says. “You’ve got both Mommy and Daddy with you here today, huh?”

“Yep! Was just gonna be Daddy but then Mommy said she didn’t think he’d really take me here.”

You squeeze your lips together as your daughter calls out your husband’s behavior; Eddie closes his eyes, a small smile appearing on his face. Both of you know (partially due to your experiences with Luke and Ryan when they were younger) that anything that went on in your house that Eliza knew about would be fair game to be shared with her whole class.

“Well, I’m very glad you’re here,” Miss Riley replies, holding a hand out for a high-five that your daughter eagerly returns. “Would you like me to show you where your cubby is?”

“Okay!” Eliza turns around and waves to you and Eddie. “Bye Mommy! Bye Daddy!”

“No hugs?” Eddie asks, a pout forming on his plush lips.

Eliza rolls her eyes as if this is the most unreasonable request she’s ever heard, but obliges.

You give her a tight squeeze, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re gonna have an amazing day, baby girl,” you remind her.

“I know, Mommy.”

Eddie’s hug can only be described as bone-crushing, with Eliza letting out a dramatic grunt as he holds her.

“Eliza Munson, you are the smartest, bravest little girl I know,” he says, voice catching in his throat. “I want you to go out there and kick some a—butt,” he hurriedly amends, but not before earning a glare from you.

“Most importantly, be nice,” you emphasize, hoping your advice trumps Eddie’s little half-time pep talk.

“I will!” Eliza happily declares before following Miss Riley over to the cubbies.

Eddie looks back and forth from her to you. “That’s it?” he asks. “That’s all we get?”

“What did you want?” you ask as you slip your hand into your husband’s. “Want her to cry and beg you to take her back home?”

“Well, no.” At your disbelieving eyebrow raise Eddie shrugs and amends his statement. “Not entirely.”

“We got hugs and goodbyes,” you point out. “Ryan barely acknowledged us, and Luke gave you a Wet Willy. I think we should cut our losses.”

“I know,” Eddie says, letting out a defeated sigh.

You gently tug him in the direction of the door to exit. “She’ll be fine,” you reassure him with a whisper. “And she’ll be so excited to tell you all about it later.”

Eddie nods, and just as the two of you are about to walk out the door, something rams into Eddie’s legs. He looks down to see Eliza grinning up at him, little arms wrapped around his knees.

“What’s up, Sweet Pea?” he asks, suddenly worried that something’s wrong. Was someone mean to her? Did she forget her lunch at home?

She jumps like a little jumping bean until she’s right in front of the two of you.

“I love you!”

Your heart swells and the pressure of tears is heavy behind your eyes. There’s no way you can look at Eddie because clocking his emotion will absolutely send you over the edge.

Eddie’s already tearing up though and has a bright smile on his face. “We love you too, Liza Bean,” he tells her. “So much.”

She giggles and you scoop her up in your arms. “We love you more than anything.”

You and Eddie press kisses to her cheeks at the same time, and Eddie blows a raspberry with his, making her giggle.

Once you set her down, Eliza blows you both a kiss before skipping over to a table where a few kids are drawing, already settling in.

Eddie wipes at his eyes as the two of you step out of the classroom and into the hall. “That’s what I wanted,” he admits with a tearful chuckle.

You wrap your arms around one of Eddie’s and lay your head on his shoulder. “You okay?” you ask him.

“No.” He sighs when you press a reassuring kiss against his shoulder. “I’m just trying to keep it together for your sake,” he says.

At his words, you pull away to look at him, eyebrows raised. “This was you holding it together?” you ask.

“Oh, this could’ve been way worse, babe.”

You chuckle as he slips his hand into yours, knowing that he’s likely telling the truth.

The two of you take one last look inside the classroom and see Eliza talking and laughing with a little girl and boy at her table.

“Come on,” you say, patting the back of Eddie’s hand with your free one.

With a reluctant sigh, Eddie starts to walk with you towards the exit.

“And I know Miss Riley is younger than me but don’t get any ideas.” You smirk and nudge his shoulder with your own, trying to joke around and cheer him up a bit.

Eddie puts his hands up in defense. “Hey, she’s a teacher. I only go for babysitters.”

The late summer morning is hot as you make the journey back to your car. Still the gentleman as always, Eddie opens your door for you.

“Man,” he shakes his head as you slip into the passenger’s seat. “I can’t believe my baby is in preschool.”

He closes your door and walks around to his side, giving you time to open your purse and pull out a small object, hiding it beneath your hands in your lap. He starts the car, though you’re fairly certain your heartbeat is louder than the engine.

“Well,” you start before clearing your throat. Eddie looks over at you and there’s suddenly a million butterflies not only in your stomach, but throughout your whole body. “She’s not going to be the baby for long…”

You hand Eddie the test, watching as his expression shifts from sadness to confusion to awe as he stares at the two pink lines.

“You’re pregnant?” The excitement in his voice rivals that of a kid on Christmas morning.

“I’m pregnant,” you confirm, grinning with your own excitement. The emotions that you've been trying to corral all day finally come out, relief and giddiness flowing through you as you tell your husband what you've been dying to amongst all the other chaos of the day.

Eddie lunges across the center console to wrap you up in his arms, letting the positive test drop into his lap. “Holy shit, princess.”

“I know,” you say with a giggle.

Eddie’s still in shock, grinning from ear to ear and rubs his hands over his face. “We’re gonna have another baby,” he says, just to hear it aloud.

“And just think,” you say, “you get to do this first day of preschool thing again.”

His nose wrinkles at that prospect. “Maybe I’ll just homeschool this one.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanart #AYW #AYWS #older!eddie

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blakeswritingimagines · 5 months

Text

A Little Bit Happy

Summary: You seem to have won your husband's heart all over again after the news of you having his child, until he shows you how truly dark his heart is.

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Part 1 Burn The House Down

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

"I'm pregnant." She spoke softly.

His eyes widened for a split second before he broke out in a soft chuckle. Was he imagining things, or were you truly saying what he thought he heard? “Do you mean it?” He asked slowly, taking in every word. He was unsure, but this would explain the weight gain, as well as why you had been so… moody. He had no other choice but to believe you for now. A child! This changes everything. Aemond was shocked. “P…. Pregnant?! Are you… serious?!” He was speechless. He tried to keep his composure but he could not hide his joy and excitement. Was it true, you were carrying his child? The thought alone sent his heart racing. He looked at you and put a smile on his face. This was the news he had been waiting for all this time. And he looked you straight in the eyes. “Is this true?” he asked, his eyes filled with joy and wonder. You heard Aemond's reaction, his eyes widened in shock and excitement. And you knew it was as you expected. You were truly carrying his child. "Yes, it is…" You replied in a sweet voice as your face grew bright with a wide smile. You felt so happy that Aemond was excited about the news, hoping the tension between you both would dissolve. "I am pregnant with our child." You continued, as you placed your hand on your stomach. "I've been trying to keep it a secret, but it has become difficult to hide. I guess I can make it official." You laughed and glanced at Aemond, who seemed to be beaming with enthusiasm. You wanted him to be happy and to hear the news he had been waiting for all this time. "It's true," you said, your eyes shining brightly.

“A baby?!” Aemond said with a grin. “You’re saying we’re going to have a baby?!” He placed his hand on your stomach, as you had done. “My lovely wife… I had feared that this day would never come. I could not imagine a day when we would not bring forth the next generation of our house. But, my worries are gone. We have made what I most desired.” Aemond laughed with joy and embraced you, holding you close in his arms as his grin grew wider and wider. Your hand rested on your stomach, the movement of your hand looked as though you were comforting the child being carried within. And he was overjoyed by this revelation. This was no secret anymore. Aemond was a man changed. He smiled and took your hand bringing it to his lips and kissed it. "Our child. Our beautiful child."

Months later, the pregnancy went smoothly and you began to notice your belly growing larger and your mood changing. You felt your emotions become more intense as the pregnancy became more advanced. Your moods shifted from happy to angry to anxious to affectionate, all in the span of just a few hours. You could not explain it. Aemond knew your mood swings were common and he understood it the best he could. However, these mood swings of yours were becoming more frequent and intense as the pregnancy progressed. He was constantly finding himself walking on eggshells, unsure of which mood his wife might have. Your mood swings were often unpredictable, and Aemond never knew what to expect from one moment to the next. But he understood, you were carrying a life within you, it was bound to create such mood swings at the least. He had to be patient with you. And he was. The days he seemed to be distant were now fewer and further between the two of you, he was there by your side always. He could see the weight changes, you were getting rather large now. He could notice it in your face and around your midriff. It was not easy being married to someone who was so emotionally unstable. It was especially exhausting being forced to play the role of husband and father at the same time never finding a good enough time to come clean about what he'd done. He was constantly stressed and his nerves frayed at the slightest change in your behavior.

The pregnancy was taking a toll on you. Your mood swings were becoming more and more uncontrollable. You would be laughing one moment, sad the next, and you could not figure out what to do about it. You felt that you were losing yourself and had no control over your feelings. You were now getting closer and closer to the due date. Your belly was huge and you were uncomfortable even as you constantly asked if you were fat or pretty. You tried hard not to let it bother you, but it was getting more difficult to ignore. “My dear, you’re gorgeous.” Aemond’s tone was filled with love and kindness as he spoke to you. “You are bigger yes, because our child is too, but you are not fat. And you are not losing yourself.” He added as he held you close. “You are becoming a mother. These feelings are natural. You are carrying our child within you. Your emotions are bound to be different. This is how it should be. You are going to give life. You are becoming more beautiful with each day.”

You listened to him carefully as he tried to reassure you about your changing body. You felt your confidence rise at the way he talked, calming your nerves with his words. You looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love, nothing but honesty. "Thank you, my love… You are right. This is how it should be." You smiled faintly, feeling more at ease. You felt your mood shift slightly, your pregnancy hormones calming down. It felt good to hear the words come from him directly, not just in your head. He was happy to see, that his words were helping. He took you into his arms and held you. His hand stroked your belly, as he spoke. “You are more beautiful now than ever before.” Those were the words he believed in this moment. You were not getting larger, you were getting more beautiful. Because the child within you was, a part of you both. It was beautiful to him. Aemond kissed you, it was a long kiss, filled with love.

Aemond was filled with nerves and excitement as the day of childbirth approached. He was as much worried for his wife’s health as he was for the child’s. But he did not show his worries to you. Instead, he tried to keep calm you. “You will be fine.” He told you. “In a few hours, we will see our child. Our beautiful child. I will be right beside you the entire time my dear.” He held your hand and kissed you once more. “I know you will. You have been by my side through everything… This will be no different.” You smiled gently at your husband, feeling comforted by his words. As you felt the baby kick inside your belly, you looked down and placed your hand upon your stomach, caressing the baby.

“Our beautiful child.” You repeated in a soft voice as you looked up to Aemond. Your breathing steadied and you felt more calm as he held your hand in his and placed gentle kisses upon it. You tried to focus on the good instead of the anxious thoughts that swarmed you. “I am so nervous.” You quietly admitted to him, feeling your emotions rise as you remembered the pain that would come during the delivery. “It is natural to get nervous my dear. But you won’t feel a thing. I hired the finest maester there is in King’s Landing to see to it that this whole process is as painless as possible.” He would let nothing happen to the woman he loved. You need not to worry. He would make sure of it. “When the time comes… we shall hold hands, and you need not fear any pain. I shall be by your side to ensure nothing goes wrong.” He spoke to you in a soothing tone, trying to quell your fears.

In your mind, all was well. You were going to give birth in a few hours to the child. A boy or girl. That did not matter much to you. As long as the baby was healthy and strong, it was all you could ask for. But the burning secret. It loomed over Aemond. He could not even feel anything but shame knowing what he was keeping from his wife. He had to keep this from you otherwise all would fall apart. He could not tell you. Not now. Perhaps never. It was the secret that loomed over him, that he felt he could not disclose to her. This was something that could change everything. But he could not find the right way to go about breaking the news to her. You were carrying his child, and you did not deserve to go through this pain when he could ease it. You were so vulnerable and he could not risk hurting you in this way. “I cannot stop thinking about the pain.” You said softly as you felt the discomfort in your stomach, moving your hand to your lower midriff and rubbing it gently. “What if I do not survive?” You whispered to Aemond, looking for reassurance from him as your eyes were glued to his. The burning guilt only grew as you approached your delivery hour. He knew he should have told you sooner, but each day the news got harder to reveal.

The more you spoke, the more he felt ashamed and remorseful. It had been months, and he had yet to tell you. What was so hard about telling you the truth, the same truth you so desperately wanted to hear. But it would ruin everything. The guilt he felt for hiding this from his wife was unbearable in this moment. You seemed so worried. You were afraid. You were looking at him of all people to console you, to tell you everything would be alright. “You will survive. I promise you that.” He told you. “You are strong. Stronger than any in the realm. I have faith you will emerge victorious.” The promise was meant to soothe you, to ease your fears, and he hoped you would believe it. He did not know how much further he could keep this from you. He had to figure out a way to tell you soon. But not now. Not while you were this fragile. His words comforted you, allowing you to smile faintly. Your gaze softened as you looked into his eyes. “I believe you.” You nodded, your breath becoming steady once again. “Just be by my side during this delivery, and we will be fine.” You said, holding his hands. You felt the contractions tightening and you gasped quietly, looking over to Aemond for a moment. "Thank you." You gave him a small smile, trying to stay positive. Your nerves seemed to have calmed down, and his words had given you a sense of relief. "I'm looking forward to holding our baby in my arms… The thought of me actually being a mother… We will raise our son or daughter with love, and we will be happy as a family." Your voice was soft and loving. You closed your eyes and leaned in to rest your forehead against his chest.

You and Aemond were celebrating the one-year nameday of your babe being born. Holding held a grand feast, inviting all the important lords and ladies of the realm. The mood was lighthearted, and a sense of happiness permeated the air. The two took some time away from the feast to enjoy the evening alone together, walking through the gardens of the Red Keep as Aemond said he needed to speak with you. Aemond had been preparing for this moment. He wanted to finally tell you the truth. It had to be done. You were finally alone, the moment he had been dreading for so long. But he could not delay any longer. He had to tell you. All the signs pointed to now. “My love, there's something I must tell you” But now he hesitated again. Maybe this was not the best moment. Maybe it should be done tomorrow, yes. Tomorrow was a better day. Tomorrow was good. He will tell you tomorrow. But as the time of the walk came to a stop, he finally built up the courage.

You smiled at Aemond, not noticing anything amiss, and you continued walking with him through the gardens. You had been enjoying the quiet moment with your husband as you enjoyed the beauty of the gardens. Your mind was occupied with the happiness of the day, and you wanted to cherish the moment. "What is it dear?" Aemond stopped for a few moments. The time had come. He did not enjoy watching you walk and be so happy when he knew that he was going to shatter all joy. He hated himself and everything about what he was about to say. He turned to face you. For a few moments, he could not speak. But then finally, he managed to gather his words together. “I… there is something I must tell you. But I implore you, please understand…” You felt a sudden tension in the air when Aemond stopped walking and you could not read his facial expression. The feeling of unease set in and the happiness you had been feeling vanished. You looked up to him, awaiting him to continue speaking. You suddenly stopped as well, your face softening as you noticed the look in Aemond's eyes. You immediately grew worried, sensing something was wrong. There was a hint of fear in your eyes as you spoke to your husband, your tone becoming urgent. "What is it? What is wrong?" You said, your heart pounding.

You were so innocent. Too innocent to know what he was about to say. He would need to break this to you gently. To be kind in this moment. To not be too harsh. The guilt was eating him alive. There was so much he had done wrong. But he had to tell you. You deserved to know what he had been keeping from you all this time. “There is… an important thing I need to tell you…” His voice was filled with guilt. He struggled to find the words. To put a voice to his actions. And as he felt his heart pounding, he pushed through. “I have… I have seen.. another woman.” He paused. It felt as though the entire world was closing in on you both. “Her name is Alys… Alys Rivers. And I have been…” You did not believe what you just heard. You thought your whole world was crumbling down before you, yet Aemond's words were slowly chipping away at your heart. The fear and anger built within you as you listened to him confess about his affair. You felt cold and numb, all hope and happiness lost within you at that moment. It took you a few moments to even breathe, the shock of it making your heart sink even lower. You couldn't even look Aemond in the eyes… you just kept her eyes on the ground.

Aemond noticed how you did not look up to face him. It tore him to pieces. He was the one to hurt you. He was the one who had caused this. He was hoping there would be some sort of understanding. But he was not so lucky. “Please, I beg you. I could not stop myself.” He knew that what he did was unforgivable. But he had to at least try to make his case. It was all he could get out at this moment. He paused for a moment and thought about the consequences this could have. You were so sensitive and he was pushing you to the absolute limit. He did need to keep his words right. But he wanted to try something. Blame you for not getting pregnant sooner. He thought about that for a minute. It was the only thing he could think of, but was it the right thing to say? Could a simple lie ease the pain for now at least? He looked at you, hoping that his excuse would be enough. “You could have gotten pregnant sooner.” He said. He was testing the waters. He had to find a way to shift the blame.

Those words hurt you more than he could ever imagine. Hearing those words come out of his mouth shocked you to your very core. You hated him for blaming you, and yet your heart clenched at the thought. The rage inside of you grew hotter as you listened to his cruel remark. You felt furious as you thought about him placing the blame on you when he had been the one who had strayed from the marriage. That was absolutely unfair to you. You had been trying your very best to give him a child, while he had been fooling around. Your face grew pale as Aemond tried to blame you, and you felt your heart sink even lower. Your eyes turned to him, filled with anger and grief as you could not believe what he just said to you. You started to tremble, and your expression turned cold, as all of the memories of the failed attempts to bring another child to life came swirling into your mind whispering in a broken tone. "I did all I could." It was the best thing he could do. He had to do it. He could not imagine what would happen to him, to his marriage if he did not succeed. You might leave him. So he must use his cunning. It was something he had been practicing for years. He knew you were smart, but your feelings made you weak. He had to use it to his advantage. “You haven’t been trying hard enough, my love,” Aemond said in a harsh tone, His eyes softened to not give away his deception. “Yes… I only wish you would have done more.” He said to you. “I cannot help but think that this is all your fault.”

His words cut deeper than a razor, cutting directly into your heart. You froze at his words, unable to speak. You felt so lost and alone now. Your whole world was falling apart. Your heart was shattered. All of those times when you had attempted to bring another human life into this world… you gave her all, feeling so much frustration and worry when the attempts failed. To say it was all your fault was just cruel, but you kept quiet, letting him continue. The plan was working. He could see it in your eyes, in your expression. All he had to do now was continue to play it out. He was getting what he desired. The seeds of doubt had already been planted. And you were not stopping him. You were letting him dig his heels in and plant more. He had to continue, the entire fate of his marriage depended on it. He continued to push you. He was not holding back even as he stepped closer and cupped your face. It was best this way. No regrets. If he could not have your forgiveness he would settle for this. “It has always been so easy for you to give up. First with the miscarriages, then the failure to conceive sooner. It is sad, that it took me having an affair for you to do anything in life.”

Tears were flowing down your cheeks, your heart in pieces. You tried to keep your composure, but it was all becoming too much for you. His words were too cruel and too devastating. And the more he spoke, the more he cut into your heart making you think you should apologize, making you feel worthless. You were too weak to even speak, your mind and body both numb as you stood there, letting him continue. Yes, that was the effect he needed to see. The tears. The sadness. Your weakness. It was all there. He just needed to continue. “You need to understand your duty as a wife… it is to provide your husband with an heir. And you failed. You have failed until recently.” Aemond was enjoying this. Seeing you like this. You were so meek and pathetic. The thought of you on your knees, begging him to forgive you was not too far off now. He continued. “If you had tried harder…” he said. “If you had offered more…” The cruel words flowed from his mouth and landed perfectly. You were in a state of shock, but you were not fighting back. Instead, you were allowing him to tear you down. He could continue down this path and finally, he would have you. It did not take long for tears to flow from your eyes. He was taking full advantage of your sadness. No time for remorse now.

You could not believe what you were hearing. It was too much to bear. Your stomach twisted at these words. You felt sick. As you stood there, tears pouring down your cheeks, your voice was no more than a whisper as you let out some words. "P-Please…" You choked out as you tried to look away from him. Your knees began to tremble as you felt you were close to breaking, your eyes filling with fear. You were so close to giving up. Your strength failing you. 'Good,' he thought. You were close. He could taste your defeat in the air. His words had found their mark. You were in a despairing state that he had never seen you in before. He had to keep pushing you. You were on the brink, he could see it. You were on the verge of giving up. Now he just had to press on. “Your failure was the reason that I turned to another woman. You had the chance to give me children. You had the chance to keep me happy, all of those times when we tried…” He waited for you to apologize. For you to beg forgiveness. This is it. This was the moment that the seeds he planted would blossom into something grand. The thought of you on your knees, begging him to forgive you put a grin on his face. “Please?” He said, smiling at you as he watched you tremble. “Please what?”

"You're right. It's all my fault." You said as you finally looked into Aemond's eyes, your eyes overflowing with tears. "I should have tried harder. I should been a better wife. I should have given you more children. Please, please forgive me." You said as you began to weep, unable to hide your emotions any longer. You felt so weak, and powerless, and he had succeeded in breaking you even as you leaned against him for comfort. Exactly as planned. You were his. Now that you had said the words, you had admitted it. Your apology was accepted, despite its emptiness. You would not try again. “Good.” He said. “I hope that you have learned your place as a wife and as a woman… I hope that you will learn from this situation. And… I suppose I can forget this incident, so long as you behave yourself from now on. But I forgive you. I want to give you another chance.”

Relief washed over you at his acceptance of your apology and his forgiveness. You smiled softly at him, finally feeling some hope again after what felt like weeks of misery. You didn’t want to disappoint him again, and now that he had given you another chance, you were determined to make it count. “I promise you that I will behave. I won’t fail again.” You said in a soft voice before looking away for just a moment, feeling ashamed. “Thank you, my love.” “Of course.” He said, giving you a reassuring smile. “I know you will not let me down.” He saw how you still looked ashamed. A thought popped into his head. He must go further with this for now. Perhaps he would regret it later on but for now. “The fault is not completely with you. I have failed you as well. I have not loved you enough. I have not appreciated you. I have not given you all the attention you deserve.” He knew this was not the truth. But it was needed to ensure your completely submissive state. “Now, shall we return to the feast?”

#aemond targaryen x reader #prince aemond #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon aemond #hotd aemond #aemond x reader #aemond fanfiction #yandere aemond targaryen #tw yandere #house of the dragon

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xjulixred45x · 5 months

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Rin Okumura x Half Angel! Reader

Request from @birdgirl98

Hi! How’s your weekend going? Could I request Blue Exorcist Rin relationship headcanons with a female half angel half human reader? Please and thank you!

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: Minor Manga Spoilers, some discrimination, Reader is Half angel, Fluff.

Rin was quite shocked when he first met you.

more than anything because he confused you with another Nephelim, due to the...strange aura you had.

Rin even felt threatened by you, by your presence. Maybe bc You were somewhat Holy.

probably his instincts as a son of satan tried to "protect" him from you in a certain way.

but at the same time very intrigued.

apart from the fact that, in general, you were never mean to him, in the least. In fact, quite the opposite. not only with him, but with everyone in the class, no matter how rude they were(ahem hem IZUMO ahem hem), you were always so... bright and friendly.

You honestly already knew that he was the son of Satan even before he said it because of all the demonic power he and the sword gave off, but you didn't want to expose it because you knew how horrible it was to be a victim of that.

While you were growing up there were people who found out about your "holy ancestry" and tried to take advantage of it in multiple ways. if it weren't for your mother.

You got used to having a certain distance from people, although you never stopped being friendly with others.

Apart from the fact that you were also strong, it could be seen with the naked eye. It was that that made him (and most of them) think that you were also the daughter of some demon.

It didn't help that Mephisto constantly tried to get close to you to make "inside" jokes that no one understood.

but in general Rin didn't dare to talk to you, he just felt intimidated at first.

you had to take the first step in this. when you two were assigned a job together.

precisely because you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable after making conversation, asking him about work, things like that.

and Rin began to gain more confidence to address you more naturally later.

Little by little the "intimidating" atmosphere around you dissipated and he was able to start a conversation with you as he normally would with his colleagues.

You realized that he was doing poorly in most subjects, so you started to give him a hand in that.

sometimes with little notes, indirectly telling him the answer, evolving in afternoons of study with him. which led to you getting to know each other better.

It was around that time that Rin decided to ask about your parents. His curiosity was already reaching its limit.

and you decided to be honest with him, after all, who would understand better about mismatched parents if it weren't the SON OF SATAN?

and you told him that you were not a daughter of a demon. quite the opposite. but of an ANGEL.

Your mother had fallen in love with a celestial being but said being practically did not participate much in your life until you developed your powers, that was when the Vatican intervened and, similar to Rin, Mephisto intervened on your behalf.

Now, that made your intimidating aura make A LOT more sense to Rin!

for a moment at least.

Then he was very confused.

and he started asking you a lot of questions about your father and things like that because, well, he KNEW about demons and they even studied about them, but angels?? It is something completely NEW for him and he hardly knows that they also exist.

His questions aren't exactly invasive, but more on the side of innocent curiosity like "does that mean there's a heaven? (I guess I won't be able to go there because-you know) there's a GOD? Does your father work with him??" "Are the angels just as ugly as the ones they show in the Bible?(how did your mother like that then? ew)" etc.

It's even kind of cute to see, how Satan's son seems so intrigued by the "heavenly world" even if it is its total opposite.

Apart from the fact that not even YOU know the answer to more than half of those questions. but at the same time you finally have someone who doesn't seem bothered by this information...quite the opposite.

I firmly believe that Rin would be much closer to you now, because they are the only ones who fully understand each other's situation of having a questionable father but on different levels.

Rin also understands that you don't want to tell your classmates, whether for personal reasons or simply not wanting to tell them so as not to scare or intimidate them with the idea of angels.

Although even so, Rin will always remind you that he is on your side and that your companions will always ALWAYS see you as one of the group, regardless of your species.

Now, if that generates a conflict similar to the one it caused when he revealed himself as the son of Satan, he has your back and tries to get everyone to make peace, because 1- you didn't have to say it if you didn't want to and 2- it's something very staff who have hurt you before. They should be a little more empathetic.

If everyone learned from their experience with Rin and accepts you at first, he will be calmer and even proud of the progress they have made as a group.

everyone together tries to make theories about heaven and things like that 🤣

probably being the only daughter of an angel, similar to Rin, they put you in special training, but maybe instead of with Shura, with Yukio. so you both end up spending a lot more time together.

If you have wings, Rin DEMANDS to touch them! Of course, he won't do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but if you give him permission...oh boy he's rubbing his face in the feathers as if it were a pillow.

If you show your wings to the other classmates they will be quite shocked, but also intrigued (I can see Shiemi putting accessories on your feathers or brushing them 🥰 )

If we talk about advanced relationship terms, Rin is a physical contact guy, he really likes to hug you, give smooches, hold hands, anything is good for him as long as they are making physical contact.

Although in general spending time with you is good for him when he is stressed, it is like it recharges his battery.

If you like manga or something like that, HE'S YOUR BOY! I can definitely see him doing the unthinkable with you: lending you one of his Mangas.

He is also an expert at making you laugh, but he is a fan of doing it at the LEAST opportune moments, like for example, you are having a lesson with Yukio and out of nowhere you look to the side and turn to Rin with his chopsticks in his nose :/

He's also, canonically, very good at cooking, so depending on whether you're good at cooking or not, it could be another way for you to spend time together!

If you're like me and cook anything randomly, you and Rin can probably have a cute couple moment while making Bentos🥰

If you want to learn to cook, he teaches you! Go from being Gordon Ramsey in Master Chef to being Gordon Rasmey in Kids Chefs with you. super patient and loving.

(totally ruthless if it were anyone else. by anyone else I mean Yukio).

He is also quite protective of you.

For example, even if he saved your life and his, he knows better than to trust Mephisto too much, so if he sees him trying to pull one of those "inside jokes" I mentioned above, Rin gets defensive.

Also in general in exercises you tend to put your safety above the main objective😅 even if he know that they are not lethal exercises, it does not mean that you cannot get hurt easily(like the one of the Ep1).

Although it doesn't mean he doesn't trust your abilities! If you show that you have good skills in exorcising, he is the first to encourage you to improve. It makes him calmer knowing that you can defend yourself (or better yet, stop him if he gets out of control).

Rin is also sometimes afraid to be a little more open emotionally, after everything he has been through, he believes he handles everything well. But if you encouraged him to talk about what bothers him, I think he would honestly burst into tears.

You two understand each other on a very high spiritual level. If Satan wants to mess with YOUR boyfriend he will have to deal with you first. You can't stand the demon.

If your father comes out of the blue to "try to reconcile" or WORSE, wants to hurt you for being a half-blood, he will have to face the fury of the literal spawn of SATAN. Rin is not very nice to your father, very angelic and all, but having the father figure that he had, he definitely sees your father as unworthy of the title of Father.

(unless obviously you have a good relationship with your father currently despite everything. In that case Rin wishes things were that easy for him)

although I can definitely see him filling out nicely with your mother! He himself never met his and from what he learned more about her and Satan... he would really have liked to have someone like you had.

It may even become a habit to go to your mother's house from time to time, to get a taste of the life he wants in the future.

Overall, Rin completely accepts your angelic nature just like you completely accepted his demonic nature. He likes to think that you two are two sides of the same coin, for this reason, he supports you unconditionally and will be your accomplice no matter what.

He loves you very very much regardless of whether you are half angel, demon or just a normal human.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

#headcanons #fem reader #blue exorcist x reader #blue exorsict #blue exorcist #blue exocist rin #rin okumura #rin okumura x reader #ao no exorcist x reader #ao no exorcist

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jester089 · 7 months

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High on life, and coffee

Been thinking about this for a while so I'm gonna write it. This one needs a bit of set up though. I've been thinking a reader who is really really fast. Like fast enough to just run on walls or ceilings when way to energetic. Kind of like a super powered slightly more mature kid. TADC Crew x Hyper, Fast, & Optimistic Reader

You were overwhelming to everyone. You always having a seemingly limitless amount of energy and just overall happiness for everyone and thing around you. Because of how you act everyone sees you as childish. But that honestly isn't true. You've been here longer then Kinger but you are strangely ok mentally. I mean the circus is tiring and childish but have you ever thought about if a child found it? I mean people in the circus don't age so someone who's energetic and not mature would be perfect. You aren't really immature though. Just a lot. You remind everyone of a cat with how you get zoomies and just sprint around till you tire yourself out.

Caine quite likes how you are. You don't complain and happily go on adventures. And he can be wild around you without worrying about freaking you out because you always match if not exceed his energy. One time he gave you a incredibly strong energy drink because Jax said you asked for it. That was an awful day for everyone involved. The day ended with thousands of dollars in damages and not a soul you included getting out unharmed. ~~~~~ You were sitting in your room physically shaking. You want to get up and do something but Caine said he has something to show you. So you're doing you best to be patient. Caine pops into existence next to you. You quickly stand up exited to hear what he has to say. "Hello my speedy friend! I have some amazing news! I'm expanding your room and adding a hamster wheel so you can run as long as you like without breaking things!" He snaps and one of your walls extends more then doubling your room size. And just as he said their is a giant hamster wheel. You get in to try it out. After running for a bit you get out thank and hug him. "Oh it's no trouble! I'm glad you enjoy it!" Caine disappears and you get back to running. It feels nice being able to go as fast as you want. I give the hamster wheel a day before it's broken.

Gangle is a tough one. She likes how energetic you are and feels more ok being herself when you're around. But you are also a lot and she can't always handle that. Despite you regularly moving at the speed of sound you never mess with her or break her masks. So she's grow to enjoy having you around. Do be careful though cause if you sprint by her just the speed in which you were going will knock her over. She doesn't have the body mass to be able to deal with normal wind non the less your shockwave things. ~~~~~ You sprint into a room looking for someone to talk to. You see Gangle and run over to her feeling bad when she falls over. Once she's back up you start talking at her, no matter how hard she tries she doesn't get a word in before your on a new topic. Eventually with Pomni's help you calm down ever so slightly and start having a genuine conversation with the two. That of course doesn't last long. You get maybe a minute into the conversation before you sprint off again. Gangle who was mid sentence stares at the door you just zoomed through. It's not like this is the first time you've done that. It's still surprising though.

Zooble is consistently annoyed by you. You have so much energy, talk faster then anyone can understand, and are constantly talking. She can't even avoid you as you can easily do a lap of the entire circus if you feel like it. You're just so loud and forget that personal space exists. So she doesn't like you. But she's kind of forced to get used to you as you're consistently everywhere at once. On the plus side you can find anything in a matter of seconds so she goes to you if she needs something. You can also get to places everyone else can't so if she wants alone time she'll ask you to put her really up high or something so no one but you can bother her. ~~~~~ Zooble is wandering around looking for you. She calls you name out every now and again. You two set up this awesome roof fort that only you are able to get into and she wants some time away from everyone. She call out one more time jumping when you come crashing through a wall at like 300mph. You skid across the ground face first coming to a stop right in front of her. She gets a little worried when you don't move but you soon hop up and dust yourself off asking what she needs. "I want in the roof fo-" She doesn't even get to finish her sentence before you pick her up, hold her above your head, and sprint off. She has to bundle up a bit to not lose any of her pieces just from the sheer speed you're moving.

Kinger going to have a heart attack every time you wiz by just saying. You never calm down and never stop, so he can't do much. He's intelligent and calm. Thinking things through and much preferring to just be comfy. You are the dead opposite never slowing down and acting exclusively on instincts and impulse. You honestly freak him out when you appear cause chaos in a room then zoom out leaving whoever is there to clean up. If any one Kinger would be the one to get you to calm down. If he manages that he's really surprised by how smart and mature you are. You have more energy then you know what to do with but you aren't stupid. From then he appreciates you a lot more. And he keeps stocked up on calming things like music or tea to help you out. ~~~~~ Kinger is laying in his fort thinking about his life and past life when he hears some incredibly rapid knocking on the door. He knowing who it is sets up a crash pad with his extra pillows and blankets then opens the door not surprised when you basically fly in crashing in the crash pad at unreasonable speeds. "Hey Kinger! Can I tell you something cool?! Can I, can I, can I!?!" Kinger smiles at you and nods while getting comfortable again. "I learned a new trick! Watch!" You pull a broom out of seemingly no where and balance it on your palm. You only keep it up for 10 seconds before it falls straight in your face. "Did'ja see?!" "I saw. Is that all you wanted to show me?" You nod and run up to the door. You throw it open and sprint out. Kinger is about to stand up to close it before you pop your head back in say bye and close the door behind you.

Ragatha would be the only real one who starts out trying to be around you. You're a lot, a lot more then she can keep up with. But she isn't just going to leave you alone because of that. It takes her a while to be able to make out what your saying but once she does it feels more like a friendship rather then her worrying about you. She wont admit it but she secretly goes to you asking for piggyback rides. The wind in her hair makes her remember the real world in a way that doesn't make her feel worse. She will unironically try to ground you when you break things. She never follows through though cause she knows you aren't trying to break things. You just move way to fast for even you to handle. ~~~~~ "Y/N GET DOWN HERE! YOU'RE 500 FEET OFF THE GROUND YOU'RE GOING TO GET HURT!" You, who is sitting up on the highest ledge in the circus glare down at her. "What if I don't want to. What then? Also you don't have any say over me I'm my own person." She is going to yell at you again before you slip, fall, and land exclusively on your face. She rushes over and helps you up. Surprisingly you're completely fine. "See I told'ja. I run into things at much faster speeds then that. I'm durable. Not I'm going to go annoy Caine for something sweet because I want something sweet. BYE!" You leave her in that room. She just stares in the direction you ran slightly surprised, and slightly annoyed. You have zero self preservation and you wont listen to her. It worries her. But she can't argue with the fact you're durable. I mean you're the only person she knows who could fall from that height and still move. None the less talk, walk, and run. After she snaps out of it she gets up to follow you knowing full well you've probably already gotten yourself into trouble again.

Jax after trying and failing to so much as touch you stops trying to "prank" you and switches to trying to get you to help him. He never tells you what you're helping with but he's gotten you to listen anyways. Until you inevitably find out what you're helping with his "pranks" get much more elaborate and hard to avoid. I pray for the poor sucker who walks into them. Cause trust me their going to be cruel. ~~~~~

"Little to the left. No to far. Yeah right there. This is gonna be perfect." "Nice! So... Why exactly did I set up this giant hammer?" "Oh uhh... Caine made this giant piggy bank that we have to destroy to win todays adventure. You want to win the adventure don't you?" "Of course I do! Do we need anything else?" "Yeah could you get some more rope." You give him a thumbs up and run out. Jax turns back to the door trap you set up without even knowing it. He sees Kinger start walking in and gets a huge smile. He pushes a little button and the giant hammer falls and hit Kinger straight in the face knocking him out and rearranging his entire face and head. Jax starts laughing hard as you come back in with the requested rope. You drop it and freak out when you see Kinger running over to him wanting to help.

Pomni is already jumpy without someone sprinting around at mach 2. Despite how often you scare her you apologizing and offering help is something she likes. Sadly with you there her hopes of finding an exit were quickly crushed. You picked her up and sprinted around the entire circus showing her every inch. And just as everyone says their wasn't an exit. She gets really depressed after that. She's less jumpy and more mopey. She thanks you for your help and wanders off towards her room leaving you alone to feel bad. ~~~~~ "It's just... Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to help..." "No you didn't do anything wrong. She just believed so hard that there was an exit. And by helping her you proved that their isn't." Your frown only deepens at that. You weren't trying to make her lose hope... Maybe you could do something nice for her. You and Kinger have been working on something for Pomni with some help from Ragatha. Once it's finished you thank him for the help and run off to her room. Once you get there you knock... Nothing. You ring the doorbell... Also nothing. You swear you hear something glitchy but only for a moment. Worrying. So you leave the gift in front of her door with a little hand written apology note. (Another story done. Sorry to all my requestors I've just been writing more casually and for what I want to write recently.)

xoxo, Jester

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #caine x reader #gangle x reader #zooble x reader #kinger x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #pomni x reader #noob author #not beta'd

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writerpey · 5 months

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Regressor!Ellie Williams Headcanons

I’ve loved tlou literally forever, and I decided to finally write something about little ellie because tlou 2 remastered just released! I wanted to write about how ellie first started regressing & how the people in her life embraced that side of her. I have more of 17-20ish yr old ellie in mind, but if you only like the show there’s no major spoilers in here for season 2!

After David, Ellie was never the same again. He took the last of her childhood and innocence from her in the blink of an eye, and she was left with an unexplainable hurt that settled deep within her chest. As Joel scooped her up and pressed a kiss to her forehead after everything happened, she had a longing to feel that way when everything felt like it was too much.

Getting used to living in the safety of Jackson was tough for Ellie. She was used to being on guard for all of her life, the QZ a gruelling place to grow up for a little girl, let alone the harshness of the journey her and Joel took across the States.

She first started regressing a year after settling in Jackson. Things were different when she began to let go of the guard she constantly had up, and movie nights with Joel were one of many instances that made her feel small. When he put an old VCR that played cartoons on one night, she sat in quiet awe, eyes wide and sparkling at the images onscreen. Joel noticed, of course, his heart lifting with bittersweet memories of Sarah cross-legged in front of the TV on Saturday mornings.

Cartoons became a regular basis for the pair, and as the weeks passed Joel noticed a pointed change in Ellie. Her familiar humour and giggles, which he hadn’t heard since David, made a noticeable return. Ellie started to show up on Joel’s back porch, fingers twisting in her shirt, asking if he had found any more to watch.

As time went on, Ellie became less hesitant about this part of herself that she had tucked away for so long. Sometimes Tommy would show up to her little shed in Joel’s backyard, new Savage Starlight comics in his arms as she practically vibrated on the spot and thanked him with a hug that nearly knocked him over.

Her regression is in general is a very unspoken but known thing. Ellie doesn’t have any word for it, but as she grows into her inherent little-ness, she is always aware of how much Joel, Tommy, and Maria encourage and help her through the way she’s feeling. That’s not to say every moment is perfect— for one, she felt like Joel was watching over her too much as she got older. She started ranting to Dina about how there was some secret plot between Joel and Tommy to keep her away from Jackson’s regular patrols, and it turned out she was right.

Just because I get… That way sometimes, doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself! You need to trust me.

Then Ellie, you need to tell me when you’re feelin’ younger. I can’t be sure unless you make it clear to me.

After a while, Ellie learned to tell Joel when she felt small. Once she was busy on her gardening shift at the greenhouses and couldn’t focus on the task at hand. Jesse was in her ear talking about Dina, the shift manager was frowning at how slow she was repotting tomatoes, and Ellie threw her gloves off and left in a frazzled hurry. She found Joel at the Tipsy Bison eating lunch, and practically threw herself into the chair across from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

I’m all— I’m all… My head’s all fuzzy today.

Joel quirked an eyebrow at her and set his fork down. Y’need some takin’ care of, then?

Ellie sunk low in her chair as if to physically escape from the conversation. If she wasn’t so conscious of how small she felt, she would’ve slid all the way down and hid under the table to get away from the fact that Joel was making her admit to her regression. … Yeah.

Ain’t you supposed to be workin’ your shift right now? C’mon girl, let’s get you back there. I’ll help and then we can read some of those comics you like so much together.

Ellie reached out and took Joel’s hand as they went back to the greenhouses together, tucking herself in close to his side. Jesse ruffled her hair upon her return, and she slapped his hand away and shot daggers at him with her eyes.

Maria and Ellie took to cooking together at times when the girl felt small but Joel was busy with town duties. Ellie wasn’t allowed to measure any ingredients—not after she assumed salt made everything taste better and dumped a whole bunch into the soup Maria left to simmer. But Maria, ever patient and kind, tasked Ellie to stir and mix whatever they cook or bake.

Ellie loves to spend time with Tommy, too. When her anxiety spikes and she’s full of energy that has her bouncing on the spot, Tommy is the best person to help her work out her energy. Little Ellie loves a good game of tag, the simplicity of chasing Tommy around outside bringing a warm and happy flush to her cheeks. Competitive in nature, Ellie really makes him run, catching on immediately if he’s let her win on purpose. She also gets very pouty and fussy when Joel refuses to join their games of tag, saying he’s too old for that kind of thing anymore.

Dina, on the other hand, brings out a softer side of Ellie when she’s regressed. Tender touches from the girl and kisses on the cheek make Ellie’s heart race, and she catches herself feeling small when she doesn’t expect to around Dina. Dina gifted Ellie a plush giraffe when they started dating, and Ellie immediately started sniffling, touched by the gesture and unaware that Dina had known about how she felt small sometimes.

Hey, hey, don’t cry. What, you don’t like it? Should I take it back? Dina had gently teased, only to be met with a teary and insistent sentence that no, Ellie loved it!

Ellie brought the giraffe to her next movie night with Joel. He wanted to cry too, but smiled warmly at her and kissed the crown of her head, pulling her into an embrace that she had gotten used to over the years.

Now ain’t that somethin’, Ellie. Y’give it a name?

Ellie gasped. You can do that?

#tlou agere #sfw agere #tlou fic #tlou #the last of us #the last of us agere #ellie williams #ellie williams headcanons #age regression #little!ellie williams

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shinidamachu · 2 months

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Regarding Kagome getting hate for being a Mary-Sue if she were more like Sesshomaru, you should know that she still gets the Mary Sue accusations as she is. People call her too “OP” just because she didn’t train enough and because Rumiko said her spiritual powers are naturally more powerful than Kikyo.

They also consider her a Mary-Sue in terms of how much the narrative “glorifies” her (according to them at least) because multiple guys are crushing on her and the fact that it seems the Inugang always takes her side whenever it comes to fights with Inuyasha and she supposedly never has to learn from her faults. They claim Rumiko making her out to be so pure-hearted is also Mary-Suesque and that the narrative pretends that Kagome has no faults that she has to grow from and is perfect personality wise.

Oh, believe me, I'm totally aware. I only used the comparation with Sesshomaru as an example to make the point that no matter what she does, Kagome will get bashed because an especific, biased part of the audience is already phrone on hating her and will make up any excuse to justify it. And you brought up great new other examples.

They call her overpowered but, while her lack of training is a valid criticism, it's not a crime to be naturally gifted. In fact, it's a pretty common trope. What they conveniently "forget" is that raw talent alone is not enough: even though Kagome had a lot of power, she obviously didn't know how to use them.

So in the beginning she had to work with what she knew and improvise, showing us other facets of her character, such as her intelligence, creativity, cunningness and inventiveness.

Nothing was handed over to her on a plate. She had to work for it. There was no official training because she was learning on the job and doing amazing at it. Not because of her reincarnation status or some deus ex machina type of thing, but because of practice, persistence and resilience. If her spiritual powers are naturally more powerful than Kikyo, it only proves that they are different people, who see the world — and by extension, themselves — through vastly different lens, which inevitably bleeds into how they relate with their powers and with other people.

That being said, the narrative never glorifies Kagome and they know it. On the contrary, I'd argue it actually holds her to higher standards than any other character. She's constantly getting tested about her flaws. Just on the top of my head I could list Mount Azusa, the infant incident and that time she saved Kikyo from miasma. But even if her main lesson is that it's okay to have feelings, the narrative will still paint her as wrong again when she does have them.

And even when that doesn't happen, Kagome herself is hyper aware of her own flaws. That's a huge part of her character, due to her feelings of inadequacy. But she's always the first person to hold herself accountable for her actions, admit when she's in the wrong, apologize and make it better.

Now, the Inugang could be more sensible about Inuyasha's predictment — especially Sango, for obvious reasons —, I'll give them that. But Inuyasha doesn't help himself with his poor communication skills, either. All his friends know is that he's hurting Kagome, whom they love, over someone dangerous who has a history of trying to murder him.

As for the "multiple guys crushing on her" thing... I mean, can we blame them? Face card never declines, my God!

#Inuyasha #Sidmailing #Kagome #Kagome Higurashi

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tangledbea · 8 months

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I was originally just going to ask just about new dream, but I'm curious as to what love language all the gang has based on their personalities!

Eh, I haven't answered this one in a while (though I have definitely answered it before).

First, I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't think that most people have only one love language. And I don't just mean how they perceive love and how they show love. I mean, in general, most people have more than one.

Rapunzel: Rapunzel spent her entire life with Gothel, who regularly put her down, denied her hugs and comfort, left her all alone (or so she thought) in the Tower, and acted like everything she did for her was a big fucking deal. The only thing Gothel did was bring her things: paint, fabric, seeds to grow flowers, wax for making candles, a guitar...

Therefore, Rapunzel feels loved when people spend time with her. She's extremely touchy-feely and loves hugs and holding Eugene's hand or his arm, giving and receiving kisses, even platonically. When people do things for her, she's over the moon, and she will bend over backwards to do things for those she loves. But she seems the least impressed with receiving gifts, and when she does like it, she attributes it to acts of service more than gift-giving. However, she gives gifts as her first line of trying to get on someone's good side. (Look at how she tried to win over Monty, and how she tried to make Cassandra "feel better" on the Day of Hearts.)

Eugene: Eugene grew up with nothing and (as of the movie) no one. He fashioned himself a persona that didn't need anyone, but he was lying to himself.

Eugene thrives on quality time, which is why he's constantly planning dates for him and Rapunzel. He loves gifts, because he loves being pampered and spoiled. He's actually really big on physical affection, even though he tried to deny that he was. He needs words of affirmation, to be reassured that he's handsome, smart, brave, good. The one he's least keen on is acts of service, because he's so used to taking care of himself (not that he rejects acts of service). However, he gives acts of service so readily. He's self-sacrificial for those he loves.

Lance: Lance grew up in the same situation as Eugene, but took from it a much different mentality.

Lance wants stuff. Gifts are his favorite. But he's also big on acts of service (asking Eugene to help him go rob the Baron retrieve a treasure). He's extremely physically affectionate, quick to throw his arm around the shoulders of those he cares about, or hug and pick up his girls. The fact that Adira doesn't like to be touched is a massive roadblock for him (as well as her just not being interested, lbr). He enjoys doing things with people, but is also fine doing things alone, and he doesn't seem to thrive on words of affirmation. Lance is extremely honest about who he is, and doesn't fall for words of flattery, no matter how sincere.

Varian: As a social outcast, semi-estranged from his dad (at least at the beginning), this kid is all about the words of affirmation. He wants to be told that people are proud of him, that he's doing well in their eyes. He also really enjoys quality time, being together for the sake of being together (his excitement over a road trip with his dad, helping Quirin with the pumpkins and having Quirin help him with his invention in the epilogue). He shows love through acts of service, and asks favors of people (then gets really mad when they don't respect him and screws with his stuff, causing problems - acts of anti-service, if you will). He doesn't seem hugely physically affectionate, and doesn't come across as needing gifts to show love.

Cassandra: Cassandra blatantly isn't impressed with gifts, doesn't really like to be hugged, and isn't fond of being around people. Of everyone in the group, she's the easiest to slim down to one love language, both giving and receiving: acts of service. She defines herself by her service, and gets upset when people won't do things for her in return (take her side in a fight, for example). To a lesser degree, she'll take words of affirmation, if they're done sincerely. (Her believing you mean it is another story.)

However, Cassandra is pretty good at giving love languages that speak to the person she's giving them to. for example, despite not really being into hugs, she hugs Rapunzel when she needs it.

#Tangled #Tangled the Series #Rapunzel #Eugene Fitzherbert #Lance Strongbow #Varian #Cassandra #TTS #Answered #Analysis

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thestobingirlie · 11 months

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i read this post that said robin was written to show steve wasn't homophobic anymore but "that doesn’t mean I’m just going to forget how he implied that Will deserved to die because he’s gay, so what now? Steve is growing and changing but that doesn’t just take away everything he’s said, especially since he has yet to apologize to Jonathan. There’s a reason why Will and Steve have zero scenes together!" like it makes no sense firstly bc robin wasn't even originally written as a lesbian so that just doesn't line up. then steve also never said will deserved to die bc he's gay; he never actually said anything about will's sexuality, his comment about will is about the byers family being full of "screw-ups" which steve actually classified as separate from gay ppl at the start of his mini monologue lol (by saying he thought jonathan was queer but he's actually a screw up like his dad). sometimes i think certain ppl have never actually watched that scene bc they just use it as a Steve Said Bad Things free space where they get to invent what he said. he did apologize to jonathan, it was literally the only reason he was at the byers' house, but it was interrupted which led to steve both saving jonathan's life and buying him a new camera. the thing about will and steve not having scenes together is baffling to me. their storylines just never intersected like s1 will is gone, s2 will is possessed while steve is helping junkyard trio, s3 steve is held captive in an underground russian bunker, and s4 will is literally in a different state on the other side of the country.

yeah, i saw that post lmao, real fucking stupid. it’s just so funny to me that these people accuse us of reducing robin to just being steve’s friend, and then can’t see past her sexuality in regards to her character? they’re the ones making robin just a lesbian bff, not us.

and saying that steve hasn’t had an impact on her character?? rewatch the show! steve’s the reason that robin feels comfortable in who she is, that she rambles and jokes around instead of fronting her stony facade from s3. i honestly think these people only care about robin in regards to a certain character they ship her with. because they seem to know nothing about her.

thank you!!! he never implies will is gay. at all. why would steve know or care about the sexuality of some random 12 year old?

and, 100%, people take that scene and mold it into anything they want just to rag on steve, and it’s super telling, because they’re constantly getting it wrong. some people decided that steve called jonathan a fag, which is the most annoying to me, because at least get the slur right lmao.

steve fucked up, absolutely. but he did apologise, and he did save their lives, and virtually sacrifice his own when he decided to run back into that house. had steve not done that, jonathan and nancy would be dead. just a fact.

and the will and steve sharing scenes thing is especially funny to me, because they’re just part of different plots. they have shared scenes, and will clearly has no problem using steve to get free movies like the rest of the kids, so there’s no animosity there.

#steve harrington #robin buckley #jonathan byers #will byers #stranger things #asks #anon

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princessbatears · 10 months

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Hi- I don't know if you are still writing but I just wanted to say your fics are AMAZING. I constantly go back and re-read them whenever I need a good comfort fic. I also kinda had a random question about the Pero Tovar AU... how does he come to find out that the reader is a werewolf and not a magical dog?? If you're not writing or answering questions about your fics anymore I totally understand and please disregard this question. Much love from a reader!!!!

Anon, this note/ask absolutely made my day, you have no idea! I am deeply touched that you reread my stories and they bring you comfort. That's really my goal with my fan fics, to be a soft, sweet place to land.

While I do not write fan fic much anymore, I was delighted by your question of how he comes to find out Reader is a werewolf and had to write a little ficlette about that moment. I hope it is a satisfactory answer!

Much love to you, dear Reader, and thank you for your kind words and lovely ask!!! 🥰

Pairing: Pero Tovar x Werewolf Female Reader Summary: The new moon is upon you and Pero, which means you either have to leave him for a few days to hide your humanness or risk trusting him with the truth POV: Werewolf Reader Warnings: Mention of dead animals, non-sexual nudity, anxiety, brief fear of injury Words: 750 A/N: Takes place between Cooking and Proposal

Picking your canine teeth with a sharp bit of bone from your dinner, you look up at the night sky moodily. There’s only a sliver of the waning moon shining amongst the stars and you and Pero are nowhere near the bottom of the mountain.

A terrible blizzard has cost days of travel, forcing you two to hunker down in a cave. Even after the snow stopped, it’s been too cold for a human to be out in. The only choice is to wait for the temperature to rise a little more.

With less than two nights until the new moon, you’re faced with either disappearing for a few days or showing him you’re human.

The idea of leaving him without explanation, especially in these conditions, doesn’t sit right with you. Underneath that gruff, smelly exterior is a kindhearted man who you’ve come to care about and who cares about you, even if he does only see you as a magical dog and try to give you terrible names.

But to tell him is to potentially risk your life and that of the pack’s. He might try to kill you or share of your existence with others. It’s why there’s a rule never to tell humans.

“Come inside, pup, it’s too cold for even you,” Pero calls sternly from near the mouth of the cave, hands stuffed under his armpits.

Letting the bone fall from your mouth, you get to your feet and trot inside. After giving yourself a good shake just near enough to him to hit him with bits of snow, you head farther inside where a crackling fire welcomes you.

“Do you have to do that every time?” he gripes, brushing his hands exaggeratedly on his coat.

Smirking, you flop on the stone floor with your wet belly near the flames.

Despite his annoyed expression, he settles next to you to scratch behind your ears. After a few weeks together, he’s learned exactly where you like to be pet.

“I’m glad you’re back for the night,” he says with a quiet smile.

Warmth curls through you at his words. You’re glad you are, too. Being with him makes you happy.

As you look at his fire-lit face, lined with both hardship and joy, your heart knows what you need to do: show him what you are. If things go badly, you can easily transform back into a wolf and disappear. He’d never be able to track you in these conditions.

Heart pounding with both fear and determination, you close your eyes and let your human self out. Now you’re laying on your side, naked and chilly, while Pero’s fingers brush your neck.

He freezes, hand stilling, as he stares at you with saucer-sized eyes. His breathing grows erratic and his own heart beats loudly in your ears.

You stay still, but use your voice for the first time with him, “Hello.”

“What the fuck?” he wheezes, drawing back.

“It’s all right! Werewolves don’t hurt humans unless there’s no other choice.”

Pero swallows dryly. “Werewolves?”

Although you know it’s perfectly reasonable for him to be shocked, you’re starting to regret this. He’s looking at you like you’re a monster.

Another unbearable beat goes by with you remaining on the ground and him staring.

“I can turn back,” you say, voice wobbling with the threat of tears. Why did you think you should do this? You’ve risked everything so impulsively! “I’ll leave, you don’t have to ever see me again. Just… please don’t tell anyone!”

He reaches towards the nest of blankets where his large knife lays and you immediately transform back into a Wolf, ready to defend yourself.

But instead of grabbing the knife, he picks up one of the blankets. Although he’s still rather shaken, he says softly, “I promise, I’m not going to hurt you, either. You can be human, but you need something to wear. It’s too cold without fur.”

Pero lays the blanket over your fuzzy back, leaving it up to you what you want to do.

Now, his eyes are curious and hopeful, and there’s no lie in the thrum of his heart. So, you allow yourself to shed your fur once more under the comfort of the blanket.

He chuckles. “No wonder you didn’t like the names ‘Snowball’ or ‘White Fell’. What do you want me to call you?”

A sense of safety returns and you sit up, holding the edges of the fabric around you. With a shy smile, you tell him your real name.

#pero tovar x reader #pero tovar x you #pero tovar #werewolf #werewolf reader #the great wall #the great wall fan fic

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veronicaphoenix · 7 months

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IKIGAI (or A REASON FOR BEING) — CHAPTER EIGHT

“Lia, I’m going to drop out of school.” He continued avoiding her gaze, but he knew that her expression had dropped. Her feet went still in the water. “What do you mean?” He looked at her, then. “I won’t be at school next year. I’ve decided to quit. And I’ll be moving out of my grandparents’ house.”

Chapter tags: best friends, teenage drama, angst, mentions of alcohol. | Word count: 1.591 | Cross posted on AO3. | Series masterpost. ✧.*

CHAPTER 8

Lia is 14. Noah is 15.

Noah had been putting off that moment for weeks, aware that this trip he was subjecting himself to could not last long.

The school year was about to end, and the only thing that reassured Lia on the fact that she still had to stay there for four more years was that Noah would be one classroom away from hers, that she could see him before entering the building, that she would see him during recess, and then again on the way out.

Noah had to tell her that wasn’t going to happen.

It was one of the first days they had been to the lake this year. The water was still cold to swim, but the weather was good enough to have a picnic under the shade of the trees, and that’s what Lia and Noah were doing. In fact, they should have been home by now; it was Friday and instead of going home after the classes were over Noah had insisted until he convinced Lia to make a small escapade to the lake before the week ended.

He didn’t say much during the way there as they ate an apple and some snacks they carried in the backpacks, and that’s what started worrying her. Noah was usually quite talkative. In the past few years, his head had been getting full of ideas, of plans, of new knowledge about music and about the world, and he was constantly thinking and sharing his thoughts and ruminations.

They were sitting on the edge of the deck, overlooking the lake, barefoot. Feet soaking. Last year, Lia’s feet had barely been able to touch the water form there in that position, now she could easily reach. She had grown taller, but she had given up on the idea of competing with Noah because he was now even taller than last year and the speed at which he was growing didn’t seem to slow down.

He had rolled the sleeves from the white uniform shirt up till his elbows and loosened his tie. Lia, by his side, had the first three buttons of her shirt undone, and her skirt only covered her till half her thighs. She would have to get a bigger size by the beginning of the next school year.

“You’re quieter than usual,” Lia noticed, wiggling her feet in the water.

When Lia mentioned Noah’s stillness that day, she did so with grace in her voice. Her tone was changing, and Noah could hint a tinge of womanhood in there. She was a bit more confident in herself than she had been before, and she was emotionally stronger, except for when it came to him. He was her weakness, and he was about to use that against her, much to his own dismay.

Noah nibbled at his cheek and kept on looking at the sight in front of him, avoiding her bright brown eyes. She was looking at him with her innocent smile, one that she only showed in front of him because life outside the bubble in which the two of them lived had already stripped her of all innocence.

“Lia, I’m going to drop out of school.”

He continued avoiding her gaze, but he knew that her expression had dropped. Her feet went still in the water.

“What do you mean?”

He looked at her, then.

“I won’t be at school next year. I’ve decided to quit. And I’ll be moving out of my grandparents’ house.”

Lia was suddenly flooded by too many questions, too many thoughts. She couldn’t understand anything.

“But… Noah, what are you talking about?”

“You know my grades are a disaster, and I’ve always felt that being there holds me back from growing in any other field. I want to make music, you know that. So, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m going to drop out of high school. I’ll probably move in with Mike. He’s already living on his own and you know about the music plans we have. We could make it work in a few years, and if not, I don’t know, we will sort something out."

The smile he offered her was not welcome. Her eyes were open wide, and she didn’t seem to be taking his words so well, not that he did expect her to take it any other way, really.

“What about me?”

“I didn’t tell you anything because I didn’t want to worry you. We had exams until last week and I didn’t want you to lose focus, but my mother is coming back. She’s going to be living in my grandparents’ house again. And I can’t be under the same roof as her. I’ll go insane.”

Lia nodded. She understood that, to some extent, but not the rest.

“You could’ve… You could have told me this. We would have thought of something. We would have… I don’t know, but you were supposed to stay with me at school, at least until you're eighteen. How can you…? You can’t leave, Noah.”

You can’t leave me there alone.

It was a silent plea.

At that age, in that moment, she was terrified of going to school and not finding Noah. Noah didn’t quite grasp the magnitude that his news had on Lia. For her, her world was falling apart.

“It’s not as bad as it seems.”

“It is.”

Noah leaving school and moving out meant many things. Lia was old enough to know the implications of changes, of leaving school and moving out. Distance would strain their relationship, and the fear of being forgotten gripped her heart.

Noah would forget her. He would get caught up in his music and he would move on. He would slowly forget her, and then her existence would be reduced to… nothing.

Her eyes were watery as she stared at him, pleading for him to reconsider. But she could see the determination in his almond-shaped brown eyes.

The weight of his decision suffocated her.

“I know what you’re thinking," Noah continued, "and that’s not gonna happen. I’m not gonna let it ha-“ Lia’s whimper cut him off.

“Then, why are you leaving?” Her voice barely audible. “I thought that we…”

“Lia, listen; it doesn’t have to be like that, okay? You’re my best friend, and you’ll always be. We can make it work. I have plans and…”

She didn’t want to hear about any more plans, for these ones were shattering her. A tear rolled down her cheek, and when Noah reached out to wipe it away, a flash of pain crossing his features, Lia stood up and grabbed her socks, shoes, and backpack.

“Lia, where are you going?” His eyes followed her, alert.

“There’s no point in being here,” she concluded, her voice carrying resignation and sorrow.

“Don’t do this,” he pleaded. He knew she was angry, and hurt, but he was sure that they could make it work, that it would. There was no reason to think it would not. He wanted her in his life more than anything else, so he desperately wanted her to reason.

Hearing those words coming from him only filled the bucket to the brim.

“Fuck you, Noah.”

She didn’t look back at him again.

Shocked at her words, Noah stood up, his mouth gaping open.

“Lia!”

But Lia didn’t want to hear it, and she didn’t want to cry in front of him, either. She didn’t go home. She ran and ran until her breathing got the better of her and she had to stop, somewhere between the woods and the crumbling house that she was forced to call home. The idea of a future suddenly seemed a daunting void full of ghosts.

That was the day Lia drank alcohol for the first time. Another stain in her life that would follow her in the upcoming years. It wasn’t Noah’s fault. I was just the fact that sometimes life is fair to some and unfair to others, and those others cannot find any way out other than trying to drown their demons in more misery.

The days that followed were difficult.

Noah kept calling her house phone and even came to her door two days later, but Lia wouldn't open it, and Noah knew that nothing too bad had happened, that Lia was upstairs in her room, and that it was only that he had hurt her, and she didn’t want to be with him.

Lia told herself that she had to learn to live without Noah. There was no way it was healthy to be so attached to someone. She was still navigating relationships, which was certainly a challenge for her. There were still many heartbreaks on the way. No one ever stayed in her life. Her father didn’t even wait to hold her when she was born. Her own grandmother pretended not to acknowledge the conditions Lia lived in, the disarray in which she grew up, and her mom… Well, we all knew about her mom.

Lia told herself she had to make her heart stronger; she had to break free from those shackles of dependency that kept her tied to Noah. There was no other choice.

Despite the nights crying and feeling empty, she worked on it for the next days, busying herself in the garden, in the house chores, in music and books whenever Noah’s presence appeared in her mind.

She told herself that she would make it, one way or another. She also had dreams, like Noah, and she wanted to live despite everything.

She wanted to live.

#ikigai #noah sebastian x ofc #noah sebastian fic #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfic #the inevitability of love at second sight

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fizzyxcustard · 2 years

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Love Language.

Notes/Comments/Housekeeping: Welcome to my new head canon series, where I take 9 Richard Armitage characters and analyse them all in a particular situation and talk about how they'd react. As always, comments and reblogs are always welcome. Suggestions for future head canons are very welcome, too.

To start us off, I'm going to be looking at the love (romantic) language of each of the characters I've selected and appear in the header. Like with my fics, if you wish to be added to my tag list then let me know. You can either be tagged in everything (Follow Forever), or particular fics/head canons. Just state which you'd like to be added to.

So, let's get to it!

GUY OF GISBORNE: When in love, Guy is very passionate and wants you all to himself. Having never had anyone truly love him before and only manipulate him (I'm looking at that bitch Marian), Guy can come over a little intense at first. He brings you gifts, wants to kiss you and is constantly touching you. A warm and soft side to Guy comes out, parting the clouds of darkness that had been over him for years. You are his means to change for the better. He will make you his everything.

RAY LEVINE: Ray can't get enough of you. He'll practically buy you whatever you want and even go in debt to see you happy. A hopeless romantic, haunted by a lover who ghosted him. Ray may seem quite insecure at first, possibly jealous. But his heart only means well.

FATHER LORENZO QUART: He holds back for quite a while, feeling the love for you grow and when it bursts, then he knows he can't hold back anymore. Despite being a priest of the Catholic Church, Father Quart follows his heart and if that means following you, then he will do it. He will not let his faith hold him back from pursuing you and once you are his, he will cherish you.

THORIN OAKENSHIELD: Patient, kind, generous. Thorin will give you anything you ask for and constantly shower you with loving words. When you are in the same room, he has to be touching you. Thorin is always physically showing his love for you in his gestures, or his eyes watching you fondly from across a busy room.

FRANCIS DOLARHYDE: Francis doesn't know quite how to react to his emotions. He loves the fact that you care for him and that only fuels his deep feelings for you, until he kisses you suddenly. He instantly apologises, terrified that you will find him disgusting. Once he is reassured that you feel the same, he never wants to be away from you. Francis may become a little obsessed with you.

JOHN THORNTON: A man of tradition. John keeps his feelings for you very private at first, until you notice him watching you. He even asks after you through mutual friends, wanting to know how you are. But when those feelings are too much, he takes you aside and lays his heart bare to you. Passionate, kind. John will never stop showering you with loving words.

RAYMOND DE MERVILLE: Hardened off to the horrors of war. Raymond doesn't realise what love is when he first begins feeling it. He mistakes it for lust, and unhealthy obsession. He pursues you intensely, showing that he is interested in you sexually. But when you stand your ground, he backs down, shocked by you. Once he realises what love actually is, Raymond is fiercely protective, and to the point that he has no problem in killing anyone who dare harm you.

JOHN PORTER: Fun. Witty. Flirty. John Porter isn't a shy man by any means and will show his interest in you as soon as he feels it. But as your relationship with him grows, John begins to crave the more intimate gestures, such as hand holding, cuddling, sharing secrets. He buys you gifts, like most men would, but he also has a very patient and understanding side to him. John will sit with you for hours, listening to you talk, offloading. And then the next night he will happily take you out for a meal or to a pub for drinks.

LUCAS NORTH: Confident. Outgoing. Lucas doesn't show his interest in you immediately, outside of maybe a little banter. Then with time, he begins flirting. And as that grows, your relationship delves quite quickly into the territory of intensity. He tells you about his tattoos and night terrors, a result of being in a Russian prison for years. He bares all to you once he has your trust, and once he has your trust, you know that he will tell you everything about him. He buys the odd gift, but more than anything, he loves being with you once work has finished. He sees you as his refuge.

***

Follow Forever: @lathalea @i-did-not-mean-to @middleearthpixie @meganlpie @linasofia @xxbyimm @asgardianhobbit98 @knitastically @eunoiaastralwings @rachel1959 @luna-xial @guardianofrivendell @sunflwrnsunnieshine

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blakeswritingimagines · 4 months

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Brand New Man

Summary: You seem to have won your husband's heart all over again after the news of you having his child until he shows you how truly his heart is to you.

A/N: This is a technical part 2 still just an alternative with the happy ending everyone wanted. The first half is the same just so it flowed easily.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: Part 1 Burn The House Down

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

"I'm pregnant." She spoke softly.

Months later, the pregnancy went smoothly and you began to notice your belly growing larger and your mood changing. You felt your emotions become more intense as the pregnancy became more advanced. Your moods shifted from happy to angry to anxious to affectionate, all in the span of just a few hours. You could not explain it. Aemond knew your mood swings were common and he understood it the best he could. However, these mood swings of yours were becoming more frequent and intense as the pregnancy progressed. He was constantly finding himself walking on eggshells, unsure of which mood his wife might have. Your mood swings were often unpredictable, and Aemond never knew what to expect from one moment to the next. But he understood, you were carrying a life within you, it was bound to create such mood swings at the least. He had to be patient with you. And he was. The days he seemed to be distant were now fewer and further between the two of you, he was there by your side always. He could see the weight changes, you were getting rather large now. He could notice it in your face and around your midriff. It was not easy being married to someone who was so emotionally unstable. It was especially exhausting being forced to play the role of husband and father. He was constantly stressed about you and the baby and his nerves frayed at the slightest change in your behavior.

It had been a year since the day of the child’s birth. In many ways, a lot has changed. Aemond and you had grown even closer than before. The little bundle of joy was a source of joy for you both. Tonight you would learn something that would change everything, and he dreaded this moment. He led you into the garden. “My love.” He spoke softly. “The feast is going well, and I wanted to take some time with you to speak in private.” You were enjoying the peace of the garden, taking in your surroundings and breathing in the fresh air. You looked over at Aemond when you heard his voice, glancing up at him with a soft smile, seeming to have a certain air of importance about him. You could hear the music fading from the distance and the distant sounds of the party still ongoing, but your surroundings were now much calmer than before. "Is something wrong?" You asked in a sweet voice, as you stopped in your place and turned to face him. "What would you like to speak about?" You asked quietly, sensing that something was troubling him but not wishing to intrude.

He looked at you with a smile, but it did not reach his eyes. Your eyes were sharp and observant. He had to think carefully about his words. “Nothing is wrong. I just-“ His speech stumbled as he tried to find the right words. How could he say what he was about to say? “There is something. I have been meaning to speak to you about.” Your smile faltered as you noticed the change in his demeanor. You paused, waiting for him to continue, taking note of his hesitancy. It was obvious that there was something he wished to say, but was having difficulty doing so. You nodded gently, encouraging him to go on. This is going all wrong. The thought plagued his mind. This was not going the way he wanted. He did not want to lose you. “I have been distant from you…. More distant than I should have been.” He told you. “I have been distracted by my duties.” He paused. “I’ve been busy, but that is no excuse.” He began. “I apologize. I have let my responsibilities keep me from you, and that was something I should have avoided.”

"I have been concerned…" You said softly, listening to his explanation with a soft expression on your face. You were disappointed that he had been distant so easily, yet he seemed to have a good reason for it. "You have many burdens as a prince and as a husband. It is understandable." You gave a reassuring smile, though your eyes remained sharp, and observed his reactions to your replies. “I am thankful for understanding.” He began, choosing his words carefully. “And I want to start to remedy this. From today I will focus more on you and our son. My duties can wait, you and our child cannot.” You listened to his words keenly, watching him carefully, not wanting to interrupt him as he chose his words carefully. You were pleased to hear him express his desire to spend more time with you and your son, but there was still a part of you that was unsure. "You promise?" You asked gently, your voice soft and quiet. "You will no longer distract yourself with your duties? From now on, you will dedicate your time to our family?"

“I promise.” He told you in a quiet voice. “My duties are unimportant when compared to yours. You are my beloved wife, and I was a fool to forget that. My priority will always, and I mean always, be my family. Never again shall I make you feel that you have to beg for my attention. As long as you forgive me for my behavior. I promise,” he told you, speaking firmly. He could notice the doubt in your eyes. “I swear by all things that I hold dear. I will be a father to our son. Your husband and protector. And I will ensure that we all spend time together as a family. I have ignored you for far too long dear. I know the weight of these words, and I have no intention of going back. I swear it.” Your doubts seemed to dissipate as you listened to him pledge his devotion to you and your son. You began to believe in his words and felt the trust in your heart returning. You couldn't deny that you were pleased to hear him speak with such sincerity, his voice full of conviction as he made a solemn promise.

"I believe you," You told him softly, feeling reassured by his words and his tone. You took a deep breath and paused, allowing him time to speak. As you did, you wondered if perhaps there was something more he wished to tell you. A sense of relief washed over you as you heard his words. You were glad that he acknowledged his mistakes and vowed to change his ways. Your expression softened, and you took a step towards him, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. "You are forgiven." You told him in a warm and loving voice, bringing your face closer to his. You were glad to see him change so quickly, and you were happy to have a husband like him who would dedicate time to the family. You were truly a good woman he thought. He was taken aback, as you spoke with compassion and understanding. He felt touched by this and felt the guilt leave him. A little at least. He did not expect you to walk a step closer, your hands reaching out to his face. His heart skipped when your hands touched him. Your lips were so close to his. He yearned for you. He missed you. He could not resist and he leaned forward and kissed you deeply. It was something he was wishing to do for a while now.

Aemond did not let up. He had been this hungry for a kiss before back when he first laid eyes on you. The passion was intense, as he pressed himself upon you. He wanted every last bit of you with a fire burning through him once more. You returned the kiss with the same vigor. The heat was palpable. Your movements were seamless, and you were as one again in this moment. It was one of the most heated kisses you had ever shared. It was the kiss of a man who had been away from his wife for far too long. The kiss was heated, and you could feel the intensity of his desire for you. You felt his hands exploring your body, his touch sending shivers of pleasure through your bones. Your breasts pressed up against him, and you let out a soft moan of enjoyment as you kissed, your tongues tangling and twining together in an erotic display of passion. You gave yourself up fully to him, submitting to his every move and giving him complete access to your body.

His hands groped and fondled your breasts, feeling your body responding to his touch. Everything about you was a sight to behold. Your body was pure bliss. You were a goddess in his eyes due to your beauty. Everything about you was perfect and you were his alone. Aemond found every inch of your body perfect. He felt his body grow warm and hot. Your moans turned him on, and he let out the same noises. The kiss was so intense that the world around you both seemed to disappear, and it was only you at that moment. Slowly pulling away he softly panted. "I'm sure we can sneak away to our bed chambers but for a moment no?". You chuckled softly, the kiss still lingering on your lips. You felt every inch of your body come to life in his passionate embrace, and you loved how he desired you. She looked up at him, smiling warmly. "I'm sure we can find a way out of here for a moment…" She leaned up and pressed her lips onto his, kissing him again, her tongue teasing his lips. "For a moment." She looked at him, blushing faintly. She was taken by surprise by his sudden urge to take her to their bedchambers, and her breath hitched softly at the thought. She glanced away nervously. "Let us go before we are caught," she advised softly. She did not resist his advance. The urge was mutual.

He grabbed your hand and ran with you out of the garden and straight into your room, closing the door and locking it behind you both. The adrenaline was rushing through his blood like a river. His eyes were blazing, and he was focused on one thing and one thing only. You could feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins as well, the excitement of what was about to happen filling you with energy. You followed him into the room, feeling his intensity as he locked the door and led you toward the bed. Your heart pounded in your chest with nervous anticipation, and your breathing quickened as you wondered what he had in mind. He picked you up and laid you on the bed. His breath was heavy and quick, as he looked at his beautiful wife. His heart beat heavily in his chest, with desire, and with intent. There was nothing that was going to get in the way of what he wanted to show you. He would make this up to you, he would take all his pent-up desire and release it.

He could not keep his eyes off of you. In this moment, he could only think of one thing, and that was you. You were the most beautiful thing in the world to him, and he would take you here. The heat of his desire for you was intense. You could feel the heat pouring off of him and onto you. He stood at the edge of the bed. He leaned in toward you and spoke in a low, animalistic tone. “I want you.” Staring up at him as he stood at the edge of the bed, his eyes burning into you with intense desire. Your breathing quickened, feeling the heat from his tone of voice. You leaned up on the mattress slowly, meeting him halfway as you let your body lean into him. You placed your hands on his shoulders, drawing him closer to you and closing the small gap between you. "Take me."

He chuckled softly, pulling you gently down onto the bed. You could feel his strength as he held onto you. You seemed so small and vulnerable, and he was the giant. He could do anything to you right now. He could take command of you and do as he wished with you before he started undressing you both. "Be rough…" You whispered in a breathy voice, your gaze locked on his. You trusted him completely, eager to see him reveal his passion again. You lifted your arms, allowing him to slide your clothes off, exposing your skin to him. You had missed this intensity only he could provide, and you were looking forward to being taken by him as he pleased. “Are you asking me to be rough with you?” He grinned, looking at you with desire in his eyes. “Or are you telling me?” He smirked, looking over your body with an almost predatory eye. Your words were like a challenge and an order to him. He gave a smile. He took the hint. Aemond did not wait another moment. He grabbed you by the waist and pinned you against the mattress. You could feel the power and strength of his grip, and you could feel how intense he was becoming. He started to kiss you passionately.

You gasped softly as he forced you onto the bed and pinned your body down, his strength sending jolts of electricity through your bones. His grip was firm the same way as when he first got your attention, and you could feel his intensity as he pinned you down, not allowing you to move or escape his touch, and you couldn't help but tremble from the pleasure. Your hands traced down his strong back, exploring his muscular physique as you let out a low moan in response. Aemond felt the chills run through your body as he pinned you down and took control of you. You were so small and your body so vulnerable. You were his now. Your moan did not go unnoticed. It excited him even more. He ran his hand down your back, exploring those curves and shapes that you always hid. It felt so good to touch you like this again. You let out another moan, which in turn caused Aemond to moan as well. He was so turned on he could barely control himself. Aemond looked at your body and smiled. You were perfection. Your breasts were perfect, the shapes of your body reminding him of a goddess. You were everything he desired and more. He lowered himself between your legs. He groaned as he kissed your thigh teasing you.

Your body trembled beneath the touch of his hands, your nerves tingling with exquisite sensation. You gasped softly, feeling him kiss your thighs, his touch teasing and tantalizing. You were filled with suspense, your breath caught in your throat, feeling him kiss and touch you in this way. Your lips parted, and you moaned softly as he started sucking on your skin again, your back arching slightly. As he kissed your thighs, he could feel your body arching and your breath becoming shorter. Your lips parted, and your moans were getting louder. You were enjoying it a lot. He took pleasure in this. He wanted more than anything to see you feel a wave of pleasure that broke down every wall and defense you tried to keep. As a result, he began to kiss higher and higher, toward your inner thighs. You seemed so sensitive Your breath was caught in your throat and you could barely moan. And you let out a soft moan from the feeling of his lips on your dripping cunt. and it was driving you crazy with anticipation. He was not letting up, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

The sensation of his lips kissing your swollen cilt was driving you crazy with anticipation, and you bit your lip to keep from whimpering. His kisses were so soft yet so intimate and sensual. You felt as though his mouth was a fire that was consuming your body, the heat radiating from his mouth as he licked and sucked sensually eating you like a man starved. You gripped the blanket tightly, trying to keep your moans quiet, yet his touch was making it impossible to do so. You were close to the edge, and it was becoming unbearable. Your reaction to him was everything he hoped for. You were reacting perfectly. You biting your lip was only making you more desirable to him. Your moans were growing louder and stronger with every motion he delivered to your pussy. He was not allowing you to feel anything but this sensation. Aemond could feel how close you were to the edge, and it caused him to moan as well. It was an incredible feeling. He wanted you to reach that point now. His kisses were getting more intense and his touch more passionate. The kiss had turned into a tease, he ran his tongue over you, your flesh as smooth as silk.

You couldn't take it anymore, and you let out a loud moan of his name, your body shaking uncontrollably with pleasure. Aemond's tongue was driving you crazy with need, and you couldn't resist anymore. Your back arched slightly as you pushed your hips against him, enjoying the feeling of his tongue. The heat inside you rose, and you felt your body grow restless and tense, wanting more and more. You had finally reached the edge, and you could not hold back anymore. Aemond had control of you in this situation, and he was going to take this opportunity to take what he wanted. There was no more teasing or playing. Your moans had driven him over the edge, and now he wanted to satisfy his desires and needs. Aemond was in a frenzy from the passion as your body quivered. He kissed you one more time and suddenly he grabbed you by the legs, pinning you down so you were unable to move. He was now going to take what he wanted while giving you more pleasure.

You gasped softly as Aemond pinned you down while moving to hover above you, the sensation of his hands on your skin sending shivers of excitement through your bones. You felt a wave of heat wash over your body, your heart rate rising as you were filled with a rush of primal desire. His hands on your body gave you a sense of powerlessness, yet his touch was filled with so much intensity and passion that it almost made you want him more. You were on the edge, and you eagerly awaited him taking you. Aemond saw the way you were responding to his touch. he understood your desires and your needs. He had never felt as in this moment as he was now. He saw the way your body heaved and your hips pushed into him. He was overwhelmed with desire and a need for you. He pinned your legs up into your chest, as it was easier to position you. He wanted every inch of you, and he intended to take you just like this.

You gasped softly as you felt the sensation of his cock stretching you out, his warm and firm body filling you completely. You felt his weight on top of you and liked the power that came with it. You could feel his hands exploring places you hadn't felt him touch before, your body quivering and your breaths coming out in soft sighs. Your body was overwhelmed with pleasure as you coupled together, the passion and energy building between you as your bodies moved together in a slow rhythm. Aemond enjoyed the control. He loved the feeling of his body against yours. He could hear your sighs and your moans of pleasure, which drove him crazy with desire. Your body was so responsive and you had no control over what he was doing. Your body was his, so to speak. Aemond could feel himself approaching a climax, this was something he couldn’t deny or fight against.

You liked the feeling of him on top of you like this again, his body pressed against yours. The power he had over you drove you crazy with desire and pleasure, the warmth and comfort of his body over yours making a feeling of protection wash over you. Your body was submissive to him at this moment, allowing him to do whatever he wanted with you. You couldn't help feeling turned on by the power dynamic between you two. The pleasure building within your body was becoming unbearable, and you were close to the edge. Aemond was in another world. All he could feel was the heat and joy he got from your body. You were so responsive and it was such a thrill to have you beneath him like this. He was enjoying himself immensely. Aemond would hold nothing back. He didn’t care if it was too intense, too much, or too strong. He just wanted to feel the ecstasy and pleasure that came with this. As you felt yourself approaching the edge once more, he would speed up the movement and his rhythm, making it more intense and passionate. With each moment that passed, he wanted you more and more. He knew you would break soon and he was enjoying every second of it. The pace of his actions and the rhythm of his motions were increasing. Your body was his to explore, savor, and delight in and he was going to do exactly that. Aemond made sure he would not finish quickly, he wanted this to last, so his strokes continued and became more aggressive.

Your breath hitched, feeling Aemond's passionate thrusts, each one sending waves of pleasure through your body. Your body was tense and stiff, as you were getting closer and closer to your climax. Your thoughts went blank, and you focused on the sensation of his cock inside of you. You grunted softly as you moved together in a pleasurable motion, the heat, and desire building up more within you. You could feel yourself reaching the edge, a deep ache inside of you beginning to build. Aemond heard your grunts and he felt you tense up. You were getting close and clenching around his member. Each moment was so intoxicating, so enticing for him. The sounds coming from your mouth told him all he needed to know. He knew how close you were, and he was enjoying every second of it. The heat inside of him was increasing, as he neared the peak himself. Your body was quivering as you were pushing yourself closer and closer to that climax, that release that you wanted so badly. You were on the verge of explosion, everything that was pent up inside you was finally releasing. Your fingernails dug into his back as you grunted softly. The sounds of pleasure were heard across the chamber. Your eyes were locked with his, You were in an absolute state of bliss.

Your bodies moved with incredible intensity, a rhythm built between you. The sounds of pleasure from you both echoed throughout the bed chambers. He held you tight, not allowing you to move away or escape his touch. He was enjoying this way too much to let you go. He was right there with you. your pussy tightened against his cock as the sensations became overwhelming for you. He could hear your breathing become heavy and rapid. The sound made him tremble with desire as he reached his own climax. He was tired and spent. He was still panting as he looked down at you. Your eyes were closed as you attempted to catch your breath. He could sense this helped but couldn't help but think. The feeling of forgiveness. He took a breath and then spoke. “Do you forgive me?” You gasped softly as you were still recovering from the intense climax, your legs shaking slightly underneath you. Your eyes locked with his again, and you looked at him with the same emotion you did when he had first taken you. You were overwhelmed with a feeling of euphoria that was difficult to describe, you were so overwhelmed you couldn't say anything for a long moment until you caught your breath and whispered.

"Yes."

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