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fitrahgolden · 8 months

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Should You Need Me: 5 - No one gets to come in

"Didi, please open the door," Edwina asked after the third unanswered knock. "It's just me. No mums."

Kate dragged herself off the couch and made slow progress towards the door. Eventually, she reached her destination, and opened the door to see the concern that was already etched on her sister's face immediately intensify as she took in Kate's appearance. Kate was well aware that her eyes were red beyond belief from all the crying she'd been doing. She needed to wash her hair. She'd barely been eating.

"Oh, Kate." Edwina crossed the threshold and hugged her sister. Kate was surprised by how much she needed this, some small comfort from someone who understood her. She'd been avoiding her family since she got home from Tom's that night, and being held by Edwina made her regret it. She needed her family right now.

Kate and Edwina moved into the living room and Edwina turned on a light, which made Kate react like a vampire. Edwina started straightening up as Kate flopped back down on the couch. A stubby loaf of bread immediately hopped up into her lap.

"Um… You got a dog, I guess?" Edwina peered at the corgi nuzzling Kate's hand.

"Yep. I call him Newton."

"He's cute," Edwina sounded cheery and Kate appreciated the effort.

"He is."

"Didi, have you been here all week?"

"I tried to be. I requested a week off from work but I had to come in for two days until they secured a substitute."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've been walking around the block for Newton’s sake. I picked him up from a pet rescue on the way home after the second day and we've been getting well acquainted. I think I'm disappointing him. I'm not very good company right now."

Edwina moved to sit next to Kate on the couch.

"Have you heard from Tom?"

Kate scoffed. "Of course I haven't, Bon. And I never will."

Edwina tsked. "Don't say never, Kate. He just needs time."

"Well, I may as well think it will be never, then I can't get my hopes up." Too late.

"Do you want to hang out tonight? Do you want me to stay?" Edwina offered.

"Yes, but I meant it when I said I'm not good company right now. Just a warning."

"That's OK. We don't have to do anything. I just don't want you to be alone."

Kate wrapped her arms around her sister. "I don't want me to be alone, either."

—

Edwina stayed until the evening of the following day. She made Kate promise to respond to her family's text messages and let them know the second she needed one of them. Or all of them. Kate also promised to wash her hair, which she did as soon as Edwina left. It felt good. It made Kate want to do something productive.

As much as she hated thinking about it, she really did need to cancel the few things that she and Tom had already booked for the wedding.

Like the dress. Shit.

Kate resisted talking herself out of it. It needed to be done, and the less she left for Tom to deal with, the better. And something about Tom potentially speaking with Anthony felt… wrong.

Kate had Anthony's phone number, but thought better of using it, and opted to call the boutique instead. That way, maybe she could talk to Alice or Genevieve. She suddenly remembered the store had closed hours ago as the line rang and was preparing to leave a message when–

"Bridgerton Formal. This is Anthony."

Damn. It. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Just fucking forge ahead, I guess.

"Um, hi. Sorry to call so late. This is–"

"Kate."

"Yes," she breathed.

"Hey. What do you need?"

"Actually, I realised before you picked up that you guys are closed. I can come in tomorrow, if you, any of you, have time."

"Um, tomorrow is pretty packed. I'll actually be here a few hours still, in the studio, if you do want to come by."

Kate and Anthony, in the back of his shop, after hours? What could go wrong?

"Yeah, OK. I'll be there in about half an hour."

—

Anthony was waiting for Kate at the front of his shop and when he saw her coming down the sidewalk, he unlocked the door and opened it for her.

"Hey."

"Hi," Kate responded, but she didn't stop walking until she crossed the threshold and moved further into the showroom, back near the hallway that led to the back of the boutique. Once she stopped, Anthony got a good look at her. He always noticed her eyes first. They were puffy and it looked like she'd been crying so much that she had broken capillaries.

"Jesus, are you OK?"

"No, not at all. I just need to, um, cancel the dress order and settle up my account."

Oh?

"Right." Anthony turned to walk back to the door so he could lock it back, but stopped himself. "Um, we're closed, so I had the door locked. But if you don't want it to be locked, I'll leave it. Up to you."

Kate shrugged, clearly having other things on her mind. "Lock it, it's fine."

Anthony approached Kate after securing the door.

"So, you want to cancel your dress?"

"Yes," she sighed, seemingly already exasperated.

"OK. Can I get you some water or something? You look–"

"Like shit, I know."

"I was going to say 'upset.' I'm fairly certain it's not possible for you to look like shit, actually."

A warm expression crept across Kate's face for a brief moment before it was reset to something harder.

"Look, yes, the wedding is cancelled, OK? I don't want to talk about it. I just need to cancel the order. I'm gonna pay for everything. Is there a way for you to just refund Tom's card? I just… I don't want to have to send him money. He doesn't want to see me. Why won't he? And this way, he can't reject it. Because he probably would. He's a really good guy."

Kate took a huge breath. Anthony moved forward and held her by the shoulders.

"Take a second before you pass out, please."

They looked at each other as Kate's breathing slowed. She stepped out of Anthony's grip. He hesitated a moment before putting his arms down.

"Yes, to answer your question, I can refund Tom. You don't have to do anything. He'll get his money back, whether he wants it or not. And don't worry about paying anything. I'm forgiving the balance."

"What do you mean, you're 'forgiving the balance'?" Kate looked indignant. Anthony knew she was insulted. "You do that for all your cancellations?"

"No."

"So, you're making an exception for me?"

"Yes."

"Out of pity?"

"Out of liking you and wanting to do something nice for you." His answer had an edge to it.

Kate shook her head and started pacing. She suddenly looked at Anthony accusingly.

"Why have we never chatted about the wedding? Hm? You've never asked me about how Tom and I met or anything like that. Isn't that odd for someone in your line of work?"

"Yes, it is. But I could ask you the very same question, couldn’t I, Kate? If we've never talked about it, that must mean you've never brought it up either, right?"

Kate faltered, and he couldn't help but smile at leaving her speechless, which he knew only served to make her angrier.

"But if you want to know the reason on my end, it's because, unlike Tom, I'm not that good of a guy. As asinine as it is considering I was making your fucking wedding dress, those few times I was with you, I wanted to pretend that part of your life didn't exist. Because I've wanted you since the first day you walked in here. Because I want you even more now. Because all I've been able to think about since you came here and told me you called off the wedding is how much I've been wanting to kiss you and if you'll let me do that tonight."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Kate crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't be serious."

"Why not? You're unattached." Anthony shrugged.

"Barely! It's been days."

"Forgive me. I must not be up to date on the official protocols. How long after you've broken up with someone are you allowed to behave as if you've broken up with them?"

"Arsehole."

"Not an answer. When will you let me kiss you, Kate? When will you let me hold you?"

Kate seemed to lose herself for a few moments as her eyes travelled down to Anthony's lips and back. "I didn't leave him for you."

Anthony took a single step closer to her. Kate raised a cautious eyebrow as she looked down at the distance between them reducing just a little bit. She said nothing, and her mouth remained hard set.

"Good. I wouldn't want that on my conscience. Though, if I'm being honest, I'd take you however I could get you. "

Anthony chose this path of brutal honesty purposefully, and was determined to stay the course.

"I didn't leave him at all, actually. We aren't together anymore, but he's my best friend." Kate raised her head higher, but her confidence came across as false.

"Still?"

"Oh, fuck you." She laughed mirthlessly.

"Oh, let's put a pin in that. What I mean is, if it were me, only being your friend would never suffice, especially if I already knew what it was like to have you, to belong to you. I simply cannot imagine how anyone could stand to be around you and not want you, let alone an ex."

Kate scoffed. "Don't reduce him to being an 'ex.' You don't know anything about our relationship, what we've been through together."

It was Anthony's turn to cross his arms.

"Fine. Let's talk about what I do know. I know Tom isn't your fiance anymore, or even your boyfriend. I know you've never talked to me about him. And I know that you're here right now when this business could have been handled over the phone, especially considering the state you're in."

Kate shook her head vigorously. "You're reading into things."

Fuck this. Anthony moved in on her.

"I sure as hell am, Kate. Because you won't just fucking say it. Do you want me?"

Kate looked dazed at the question. Anthony was feeling brave. He grabbed Kate's hand and held it over his heart.

"Are you aching the way I am?"

Kate swallowed as her expression softened again, this time without going back. Anthony watched the movement of her throat before he slid his cheek against hers as his mouth moved up to her ear.

"I wonder, Kate. Do you think I could make you wet for me right now?"

Kate's lips parted as she gasped at his boldness. Anthony chuckled darkly. His lips brushed against her earlobe. "Won't you let me try, Kate?"

And that was it. That was as far as Anthony was going to go. He’d made his intentions exceedingly clear. Anything more was up to Kate.

—

Kate leaned her temple against Anthony’s. She tried to steady her breath. This was a lot. Who was she fooling? She didn’t have to take care of this tonight. And Anthony was right, she didn’t have to physically be in the shop to do it. She wanted to see Anthony, and he knew it. So, she was here. She saw him. Now what?

Kate touched Anthony cheek and turned his face towards hers so their lips could meet. For all of Anthony’s aggressive posturing, the kiss actually started quite gently. Too gently, if Kate was being honest about what she wanted–what she needed–in the moment. So, she worked her hands into Anthony’s hair and pulled. His groan let her know he was taking the hint, as did him grabbing her hips and pulling her toward him in one hard jerk. She glided her tongue across his lips only to find he was already attempting access into her own mouth.

“Fuck.” He whispered without breaking contact. His hands went under the hem of her shirt as Kate desperately moved a leg over so she was straddling one of his. When Anthony moved to her neck and bit down, Kate whimpered. But something was off. She wanted this. She was sure of that. But not yet.

Not yet, not yet, not yet.

Kate moaned as she pushed Anthony back, taking a few steps back herself. They stared each other down as their chests heaved.

Kate shook her head and resumed pacing.

"Do you know how I found your boutique? Why I picked you to make my dress?"

It appeared Anthony hadn’t fully recovered. He took a few beats to respond. His jaw ticked before he said, "No, Kate, I don't."

"Tom. He spent ages researching dressmakers. And he found you. Isn't that fucked up?"

Anthony opened his mouth, but Kate continued.

"'You deserve the best, Kate.’ That’s what he said. ‘I know it’s a lot, but I want you to have the best because that’s what the love of my life deserves.'" The last word ended on a choked sob. Kate shoved the heels of her hands against her eyes.

“Ugh!” Kate looked up at the ceiling. “The love of his fucking life. And I broke his heart, and before a week has even passed, I’m here. What for what? All you can talk about is how much you want to fuck me. Am I supposed to be swooning?"

The change in Anthony's eyes, his whole face, was immediate. "You think that's all I want?" He asked, affronted.

Kate answered quickly before she could think about it. "Yes."

"Liar. This is more than that, and you fucking know it." His gaze was boring into hers and she couldn’t take it.

“I…” Kate held the tears back as she found herself speechless for the second time tonight. This was a bad idea. She wasn’t ready for this conversation. She wasn’t ready for him. Wants and needs be damned.

“I need to go. I shouldn’t be here. Can you, um… Can you unlock the door, please?”

Anthony did so without hesitating. He waited at the threshold for her. Walking past him was going to be hard, but she had to do it. For now. Kate got one foot onto the sidewalk before Anthony gently cupped her hand.

“Just–just…” He looked at their joined hands, then up at her. “Wait.” It was a soft plea.

They locked eyes. Neither could say for how long. It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. Either way, Kate was the one to break the spell. She wrenched her hand away from his.

“Good-bye, Anthony.”

And then, she was gone.

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milf-harrington · 1 year

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this might be a bit long because my heart is full of love

one thing about my sister is that she's never been a big reader, even with a majority of our family being massive book nerds.

it was like- one of our things as siblings is that she liked sports and makeup and i liked books and did well in school; even when we got older she's always been outdoorsy and i've always been indoorsy.

(this is a very general simplification, we're actually hella similar to the point we dress the same some days without meaning to lmao)

and i just remember growing up she'd always make these comments/complaints about not being smart like me and mum, or claiming to be a bad/slow reader, or that she wished she liked books as much as us. when she finished tomorrow when the war began, she was so proud and excited that i couldn't help but pick up the series after her because it had to have been good if she managed to finish it - which wasn't meant to be insulting, that's literally just how things were

there's an incident that gets brought up a lot, it's one of our common funny sibling stories, from when she still lived at home - she would've been maybe 16, so i would've been 12 - and we were arguing like we always did and i called her vain and she just...stopped. because she didn't know what that word meant, and while my first instinct was to explain that i was calling her shallow and full of herself, my mums response was to sigh and say "don't use big words when speaking to your sister, remember?"

and my sister always tells that story through laughter because when you know us it is funny but at the same time...she's always considered herself the stupid one.

she never finished high school, she struggles to understand the fancy words or phrases i use without thinking, she's not big on reading, she can't keep a desk job etc.

but another thing about my sister is that her mind is incredible, and she is so emotionally and socially intelligent, and she's wise. she has so much fucking wisdom, and she just hands it out without thinking, just dropping these little nuggets of advice that have literally changed my life like she's telling me what jacket would match my outfit better.

i can't wrap my head around harvests or grain types or machinery, but she happily infodumps about all that stuff with the same ease she talks about work gossip and whatever happened at the last party she went to; and she just. remembers things that probably would've fallen out of my head immediately.

but she thinks she's an idiot, reckons she's the dumb one in the family, and most of that comes from the reading thing.

it's one of those insecurities that i don't think she even acknowledges as an insecurity.

and when her son was born, and we realised he loved books, she made so many self-deprecating jokes about how he was going to be just like the rest of us, and she was going to be the only one in our family who didn't read.

and then, a few weeks ago, she told me she wanted to find a book she'd heard about on tiktok because it sounded interesting; and then she came back from the shopping later that afternoon with two books.

and she finished them both in a handful of days.

so she bought more, by the same author. and i have watched over the past week as her little book collection has grown and spread out, and i've watched as she's eaten through a hundred or so pages in one sitting.

"It turns out I just really don't like nonfiction," she'd told me. "But I really like this author, I like the way she writes."

("None of us like nonfiction! It's boring!" Is what me and mum said.)

I love my sister, i could give less of a shit if she's an idiot or whether or not she likes to read. We hang out all the time regardless, we share our interests with each other and we talk about music and what's going on with our friends and how we're dealing with our childhood trauma. we sit in silence or we talk shit or we play uno or i tell her about my writing or she complains about bills.

she's my sister, yknow? who gives a fuck what her interests are as long as she enjoys them.

but man i cannot describe the level of pure delight i have felt watching her find this piece of herself that she's always wished for, yknow? the first time she started telling me about her latest book she just fucking lit up and she was so animated and excited and i was just sitting there, floored, because she was so happy.

and i haven't been able to stop myself sometimes, from actually telling her how nice it is to see her so excited about books, to see her understand why mum and i are the way that we are - but i'm always worried it comes across the wrong way.

what im excited about is the fact that she finally understands something she's always wanted to understand, that she gets to talk to me about books the way she's always wanted to.

my sister not being much of a reader (despite her attempts and wishes) has been a fact of life for as long as i can remember, but she just crept into my room to excitedly tell me the plot twist in Layla by Colleen Hoover, a book that's only taken her 2 days to read, and i just love her so much it makes me feel stupid.

#i dont know if any of this actually makes sense im just.#i am so fond of this woman and so proud and happy for HER that she's found joy in reading like the rest of us #kaueamua tag #captain speaks

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thegleamingsmile · 9 months

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I keep backspacing on my trembling keyboard. it isn't trembling, that's a lie, my hands are too steady to shake. mom says i have a problem with compulsive lying. But it's 1 a.m, and I'm sad again, and I'm going to type out all this rotten poetry till I turn golden-soft inside.

I'd never publish this on my main tumblr, of course. I have people who know me, who'd reach out and say, are you alright? I saw what you posted. I don't want to worry anyone. I just want to have a place to be imperfect. To let my hands shake.

A week ago, two weeks ago, two days ago, I'd be brimming with hope. But sometimes you go through life told by everyone that it doesn't matter if you're ugly or uncoordinated, because hey, atleast you're smart. And you believe them, and you cling to your smartness. You drown in your certainty. and then one day you wake up, head above the water, and realise you've never been smart. and you've so utterly convinced yourself of your smartness that you've failed. and you've failed, and these weren't just school exams where failure meant a few weeks of sadness. you've ruined your life. is it even your life? you don't like this career at all, but your parents wouldn't hear a word.

It's just, when you think of your future you think of a homeless bum. The best case scenario, you think of someone utterly burnt out. which is funny, because who plans to be burnt out?

and you're just a little sad, maybe. and you realise you've been treading water for so long, smile taped onto your face that you can't remember happiness. and you can't exactly tell your parents. it would be the hen telling the butcher they feel dead. which isn't exactly an apt metaphor. i told you, i have a problem with lying.

mom doesn't realise that i get it from her. that i have carefully written schedules and calendars and to do lists because sometimes she will accuse me of something I've never done, or insist she told me something. or sometimes she will actually tell me things, even though it tears my heart to hear them, and i have no way of telling if they're true. it's not like I can google, 'did my grandfather really despise me? was i actually cut out from his will?' 'did my elder sister really die because my father hit my mother so hard? or is he right and she died because my mother was too preoccupied with herself?' 'Hey Google, how do I deal with the existential guilt of knowing the only reason I am alive is because my father is so angry he killed an unborn child. how do I feel about that.' 'hey google? remember when we were six and our best friend died and then after that we could never make neighborhood friends again?' 'hey google, why'd I stop talking to my sister?' 'hey google? do you know what it's like to have things go right?'

(and half of those things there are secrets. i shouldn't be posting about them. maybe they aren't even real, and my mother was just joking. I'm certainly not going to ask.)

the last one is just me being ungrateful, anyway. things go right all the time. but the last year's been harder than usual, I suppose. My sister escaped, and I was left to deal with the fallout. And I had exams. Like 12 series of them. which doesn't sound like much till you realise each exam needed at least a month or two to prepare, and there are only so many days in the year. and I think everyone almost died. Everyone fell sick and got injured and i was suddenly an adult and I don't think I'm made for pressure. And here I go again, ranting about something that's over, making excuses for not achieving what everyone else did effortlessly. Depression? No. Adhd? Maybe. Just,,, slipping? yeah.

My new years resolutions weren't that hard. Get into college. Pierce your ears. Dye your hair. Learn a language. but all I've managed is a shitty 30 day Duolingo streak and a new wave of sadness. It's August. The year is half over. I just want to be happy.

I was going to type poetry, wasn't I? Instead, I broke out the excuses. The rants. Can't I make something beautiful?

I hope one day I'm loved and cherished and so so happy I can gorge on it.

I hope I find my calling, find a passion, and future me reads this and thinks, 'don't worry. it worked out. we're okay.'

I hope I'm okay.

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m-talks-shit · 2 years

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08/11/22

Strap in, I sense this might be a long one. Let's start from the beginning, waking up at 7am so that my sister could drop me off back home.

Don't make fun of me now, I have a crystal bracelet, it's made out of rose quartz and amethyst, both crystals associated with love and harmony. Last night, my other sister, not the one I was staying with, knows that I have a slight obsession with crystals and all that spiritual crap so she jokingly texted me 'Charge your crystals, it's a full moon.' I pointed out that the full moon was tomorrow (today) but I went ahead and left my bracelet out to bask in the moonlight anyway.

Now I might be going insane, but I think that actually did something. I mean I'm not a religious person but I do believe that the universe has a plan for me. And I might also believe that crystals and horoscopes have a bit of truth to them because how can there be so many coincidences?? It doesn't add up.

Anyway back to the story, I had an appointment in town today and after that I decided to buy some hair bleach because I've been wanting to go back to blonde for a little while after letting my hair rest. (I buzzed my hair off at the end of March because it was so incredibly damaged from constant bleaching and dyeing). Whilst I was buying it, something called me to also buy some pink hair dye. I love pink and my hair has been pink before and it looked great so I thought why not? I paid for everything and then wanted to go get Starbucks but then I realised that since I bought the dye, I didn't even have enough money left for Starbucks. (I am officially broke).

You see if I had gone for the Starbucks, I would've had to take the long way home. Since I didn't go for it, I went through the street I used to work on, the street where I first met my boyfriend. I don't know if I was expecting to see him or not, but I did walk by his friend and we stopped and had a chat. He talked about how he missed me and didn't see me in the shop anymore and I told him that I had quit a while ago and that I've been staying at my sister's house for a few days. We talk a bit more and then he says 'oh look who's across the street.' It was my 'boyfriend' who I hadn't seen or talked to in 2 weeks. I went 'ah that bitch' and his friend says 'no no don't say that, he's like my brother you're like my sister, come to my house to drink tonight.' He's been through a few houses in the 3 months that we've been together. He originally had his own very nice house with a roommate who then kicked him out after police raided the house (Okay, my boyfriend might be into some shady business but who am I to judge, as long as I don't get involved) Then he stayed at his friend's house for a while (the friend I was now talking to) and now he's staying at another friend's house whilst he's looking for his own place. Of course it's not easy to find a place to rent when you get paid in and only use cash, he has no proof of income.

It's lucky that all his friends are so sweet and welcoming. None of them have had a problem with me staying over and I think they actually like me hanging around with them.

Anyway moving on, he notices us but he doesn't come over to talk to me because he's clearly busy making deals with someone. His friend does go over to him whilst I start making my way home again, occasionally looking back at him to see that he's looking at me, smiling and blowing kisses in my direction. After a few minutes he calls me and we talk a bit, I tell him basically the same things I told his friend and that I'd see him tonight.

Before I could get around to that though, I needed to help my friend with his film project. This plan kind of all went to shit. We went to a random field because he wanted some shots of the main character running through it. The original plan was to have a fog machine, which he did in fact have, to create a mist effect. However, we were in the middle of a field and the fog machine had to be plugged in. This is where his generator would come in handy, if he had one. See he thought it was a generator, for some reason, but turns out it was just a tranformer. If you don't know the difference, a generator generates electricity, a transformer changes the voltage/current. We needed the transformer anyway because the fog machine could only withstand about 100 volts whereas the UK mains supply has a voltage of 230. The issue was that we couldn't do anything without a generator, since of course, we were in the middle of a field.

We did end up filming some shots but they will probably have to be retaken anyway. So basically we wasted about an hour in the freezing cold because he failed to actually mention we would be in a field! There was one good thing that came out of it though, before his mum dropped us all off home she took us to, wait for it, Starbucks. (and she paid!). There it is folks, the universe working in my favour. The universe rewarded me with what I really wanted after I listened to my intuition and followed my heart to buy that damn hair dye. The universe wanted me to do that so that I could walk through the street my boyfriend was on so that I could make plans to see him so that I could make the realisation that I might've been villainising him and he's not as toxic as I imagine him to be he's just incredibly insecure and really bad at communicating so all his insecurity comes out as anger, but on the inside he's actually incredibly sweet and tender and caring.

Alright, let me backtrack. After I got home I showered and got ready to see him. He picked me up and then we went for a quick trip to asda, and I mean quick because we accidentally came 10 minutes before closing time. We got to his place and then we cleaned it up a bit together because god his friends left it a mess. It's really wholesome doing things like that together, it's like we're a married couple. I don't need to ask to do anything, I put all the groceries away and washed the dishes and turned the washing machine on. Even though I don't live there, it feels homey.

Basically all we do is drink, smoke, talk and have sex. I like it. It's intimate. Sometimes I wish we did more, I wish we didn't just see each other at night but he's busy, he works a lot. I understand that. Today he made me realise something. He was genuinely hurt when he was telling me about how the day I was meant to see him I blew him off and then didn't text or call him for like 3 or 4 days, basically until I felt like seeing him again. I always had a feeling in the back of my mind that he was just using me for sex, but it might have been me using him all this time. Seeing how he felt when he said it to me actually broke my heart, I felt awful. I didn't realise how much it affected him, I always act so selfishly and then victimise myself. I'm the problem.

Well I'm not the entire problem, he did angrily say that I'm getting fat and that he didn't like it. He's not wrong, I have been gaining weight but I've been trying to work on it so it did hurt when he said it.

I don't have the best memory of the night. We drank a full bottle of vodka together. At around 1am we went from the living room into his room. I'll spare the details but we did have sex and it was intense. We took a shower together after. Well, I started taking a shower where I kept slipping and falling whilst he was throwing up in the toilet next to me and then he joined me after that. He gave me his robe to wear, we went back into his room and I'm not sure when but I ended up falling asleep. I woke up at 4am to find him finally crawling into bed with me. We had sex again which was pretty great and then we fell asleep together. He loves to cuddle. It's a bit suffocating because he's so warm so I always end up a bit sweaty and have to stick half my body outside of the blanket. I bear through it though, for him. It's the most intimacy I've had with anyone before.

I don't want to say that I love him. It's been 3 months and even though I tend to fall for people very hard and very quick, I don't want to call it love. I'm infatuated, definitely. I'm borderline obsessed. I don't know what it is about him that is so intoxicating, no matter how much I despise him I always go back. I can't stop thinking about him and I'm always wondering what he's doing. I'm constantly seeking him out, when I know I'm going to walk through the street he works on I try to make sure I go through it at a time I know he will be there just so that I can see him, even from afar. I sound insane. I probably am.

#getting my life together?

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mummybearmusing · 2 years

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Emailed to Victoria Derbyshire and Jeremy Vine:

My ex was given residency of our son three years ago over concerns over my mental health and allegations of neglect..which were unfounded. I had mild anxiety and depression.

Cafcass and social services both saw my evidence of domestic abuse. Plus my medical records..both of which I also emailed.. so they knew these concerns were NOT shared by any medical professional I had seen.

My ex told me until I had undergone a psychiatric assessment then he suggested I could visit our child there or he would bring him to mine. Any overnight stays would be supervised by my mum sister or him. Because I was on a medication which made me so drowsy for a short time I agreed to this because they made me fear for our cubs safety

I believed it when they said once the side effect wore off and I had my psych assessment he could come home and we could talk about a plan to co-parent.I trusted him. When he saw my assessment which stated polar opposite to all his concerns and actually advised me to refer myself to a dv programme because she believed I was being emotionally and psyscohologically abused and had been a while he got so mad. Even more when I asked about having him a third night. I realised I was wrong and I applied to court to get him back.

The judge expected us to be

50/50

co-parenting by June 2018. We weren’t.We still aren’t because he doesn’t want to allow this. But we have got closer.

Judge ruled that our son stays there because of these mental health concerns.. they never even asked him to prove them..nor me to disprove them with medical evidence which I had in my hand on the day (I was litigant in person and I had no idea about when I needed to submit it)

He was given access to my mental health records. He chose to ignore every positive thing they said because he was allowed to decide when he felt I was ready to handle more responsibility. He was meant to progress my contact forward with each report as long as it was positive. The barrister he showed up to court with wrote our order and the way it was typed meant he got to decide to move my contact when HE felt I was ready. So ignored all the reports or made small changes, with conditions.

He is a great dad. Our son loves him. I treat him with the utmost respect despite all the hoops he has made me jump through and all the time he has taken to allow me to have our son midweek overnight in term time and to actually be allowed to take my own child to school. 18 months before he allowed this.To this day I’ve still not been allowed to take him further away than a few towns over. He takes him to London whenever he wants.

That supervision he insisted on..social services disagreed completely but ignored all my written requests to confirm that and because they hadn’t written anything it gave him scope to keep insisting.

I secured legal aid june 2018 due to his controlling behaviour, witnessed and recorded by my GP and I have had two hearings since I applied to vary in July 2018. Both state dad agrees to order stating our son lives with us both but that he disagrees with all the other requests I’ve made.

I want us to co-parent amicably. I want to be able to take our son to school once a week every week and not just the one a month that his shift patterns allow him the weekend off.

He won’t allow me access to our son’s passport nor give written consent for me to take him abroad.He won’t allow me to have him any more time than we spoke about in October 2018. Won’t allow me the third night I have consistently requested because it impeached on his time.

He’s a wonderful dad. And I am all for the bond they have but our son loves me just as much.

He always has to have the final say. All the control.

I expected the judge to award me residency because I was manipulated into letting him stay with his dad..believing that I was on the verge of a breakdown. Being away from my ex made me realise that I had been systematically abused psychologically and emotionally since our son was a baby, possibly since I was pregnant.

I expected the judge to ask for my medical records and rule the professionals have no issue so my boy comes home. I would have been fine with him seeing him all the time he was off work. He didn’t even make a counter application for residency but the Judge gave him it anyway and the barrister gave him written consent via that order to continue to have full control over my life and our child.

They don’t always get it right We have one hearing to go. Lets hope all the stuff that has been so wrong finally goes right.

#MummaBearMusings

0 notes

onlyswan · 2 years

Note

Art,

I am so sorry that happened to you☹️.No, one deserve to be cheated on.I hate man specially the one who make me feel something lol. Just kidding.

But, I have to tell you something very funny. So, an hour ago, i was talking to my grandma(Italian one) on phone. We were talking about my future and career [ I was actually aspiring to be an actress .lol.i wanted to be an actress since I was kid totally inspired by Audrey Hepburn (me,my grandma(Italian) and mom really loves Audrey Hepburn, so when I was kid my mom used to tell read her biography to me,tell me about her work,movies,etc etc. i started attending acting classes since I was 4 till last year. I dreamt of working with my first or maybe last ever celebrity crush "The Timothée chalamet🥰" (lol.girl can dream😭)I don't know how I was gonna make it but I never considered doing anything else since I was kid.and my family supported so it never occurred to me to do something else.but,as I grow older I realise that I love studying more .really .the last two years really helped me.i realised I enjoy more being anonymous and really enjoying my life with loved ones.so,I finally stopped my acting lessons last year. i studied different books gifted by my dad and lot and lots of books in his library last two years of quarantine.and now I love studying.and I want to do more of a traditional job. ] But, I have no idea what to pursue. I am thinking between finance and medicine.Art,what are you studying or thinking about studying?

So, let's go to funny part.

My father told me that if I ever wanted to study finance than NYC is best city. And, I am low key down to it as well first because I want to leave Europe (not because I hate it but because I love it too much. Its too home to me. I want to live my uni life in different part of world.plus improving my english). second, because of my best friend (he is an ivy league aspirant since he was little).He said he will not leave for another country without me and I don't want him to either. Even though out time together will be very little but same country is still better than being apart. I know my limit. I will never get into any ivy league. And, I low key don't want either. NY university is my type. Lol😖😂.

So, I was telling my granny about studying in US. And she was so excited for me but not about studying but leaving Europe (she also leave Europe to study in US during her uni life).

She told me to date American boy, lol. (She dated too. Her ex boyfriend was an American boy).Break some heart and get mine broken too. And I told her it was already done by fellow Italian dude.lamo.(he cheated on me which lead to a massive fight between my best friend and him😭.we are on same boat, Art.(Now it's funny to me how I thought he was love of my life 😂😭.)

And, we laughed a lot about it. She also told me about her heartbreak with American boy. She said it was sad at first but now it's funny to her.

She told me to go to club in Vegas before I turn 21, without telling anyone except her.

And, live in San Diego for few weeks.

She is just so funny and friendly.I was dying to tell anyone about this funny conversation but had no one except you, Art. Firstly, because my mom would freak out about Vegas. My mom is not controlling or very conservative but she is little overprotective.

And for my best friend, he will get sad and a little grumpy about dating American boy. So, it's better not to tell him about it.

Thirdly, my best friend 's older sister is in club. Lol. So, I can't tell her right now.

And lastly, my grandpa(japanese).He is probably asleep by now.

So,you were the only one whom I can share this funny conversation.i am still laughing.she was just so funny.

Bye,Art!!!!!!

I love you💜💜🐣!!!

~the ballerina girl.

helloooo beloved :D i will be taking psychology which is something i truly love and enjoy so i’m excited ^_^

and omg i love your grandma she seems so sweet and supportive i’m so jealous 😭 my grandma is very strict and controlling but my mom is very similar to your grandma lmaooo she allowed me to try out alcohol at a young age so i could build a high tolerance and to start going to clubs at sixteen LOL

i love how she told you to break some hearts and have your heart broken because :,) i think i am living for exactly that. i want to love and love and love and experience many things even if that includes painful ones because that’s living for me.

AND OH GOD CHEATERS ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST. i truly lost a part of myself when i was going through that breakup and it just had to be my first real committed relationship too so .... 🫥

i love you more and i’m always wishing you the best in life <3

#art’s mailbox

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thesolferino · 3 years

Text

Favor

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ genre: angst, fluff

⤷ word count: 8.4k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: dream asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a day. things only seem to go downhill from there.

It started as a favor.

On a quiet night in your apartment when you stared at your phone for way longer than your eyes could physically take and rolled around on the bed, talking to one of your best internet friends, Dream, he asked you for a favor. His voice was muffled through the mic on his phone, the one connected to his computer way cleaner, but neither of you could bother getting off FaceTime and call on Discord instead - yet you still heard him loud and clear, because you burst out laughing right after.

“What the hell did you just say?” you laughed, turning on your stomach and opening the call, now entirely focused on the timer that counted every second you spent talking to him instead of your Twitter timeline.

“It’s embarrassing, don’t make me repeat it!” And for that sole reason, you wanted him to repeat it, loud and clear.

“Is this why you were so insistent on me coming down to Florida? So I could pretend to be your girlfriend at your cousin’s wedding so your family doesn’t think you’re a loser?” you laughed, finding the situation entirely absurd as he sputtered, words mashing together, trying to defend himself.

“No! No, I wanted you to come here because we’re friends and I-I wanna meet you, this is just a… benefit, of sorts.” he replied, and you couldn’t help but laugh even harder at his poor attempt of trying to save face.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” you chuckle. “What’s in it for me?”

“Whatever you want.” he responded, much too quick. Your eyebrows raised.

“Whatever I want?” you parroted.

“Yes.” he confirmed. “I’ll buy you something, if you want; I’ll even pay you-”

“Pay me?! I’m not a whore, Dream!”

“That is not AT ALL what I was saying!” he cut in, yelling as you burst into a new fit of laughter. “It’s just… I sort of already told them I have a girlfriend and I was just hoping you’d say yes ‘cause it’s gonna be very awkward if I show up without the girlfriend in question.”

You put your head in your hands and he sort of dryly laughed at himself when he heard your palm hit your forehead. “What is wrong with you, man?”

“Listen, it’s not gonna be so bad! Just stay by my side for a bit, look pretty, we’ll get some drinks, and then dip. That’s it, I promise.” he reasoned.

“And here I thought we were gonna make out in front of everyone. What’s a fake relationship if we don’t make a show out of it?” you sarcastically snickered, and could practically see his eyeroll from miles away.

“If that’s what you want, then we’ll do it, by all means.” he replied and you laughed, shaking your head in mild disbelief.

“Alright, well, if you already told them, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you huffed, pretending to be way more bummed out about it than you really were. “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you so much, oh my God.” he replied and you chuckled at the sheer relief in his voice.

A few seconds of silence pass. “What’s the catch?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“How do you want me to publicly embarrass myself in exchange for this favor?”

“Personally, I think that forcing you to tweet that tweet about pissing yourself in bed again and also tweeting that everyone should subscribe to me isn’t “publicly embarrassing” at all.”

“Maybe I should’ve picked a different fake girlfriend.”

“Sucks to suck, pissbaby.”

The weeks leading up to your meetup felt like years, with every treacherous minute of you two talking over muffled mics and shitty webcams feeling longer than it should, your empty apartment feeling emptier and emptier by the day. Was it even possible to miss a person you hadn’t even met yet?

It turns out that it very much was, because as soon as the painfully long weeks were up and you were finally metres away from him, you jumped in his arms like a woman finally seeing her soldier husband after the war, standing on your tiptoes while he bent down the best he could to hug you back. His chest rumbled with a warm laugh when you turned your head ever so slightly towards his ear.

“Hello, boyfriend.” And just like that, the warm turned into a groan of faux annoyance while you burst into laughter and he pulled away, scanning your face with an equally annoyed look.

“I should’ve never asked you for that. You’re never letting it go, are you?” Yeah, you were kind of annoying with the amount of corny boyfriend jokes you threw his way - you had to give him that. But then again, he crafted his own fate and now he must accept the consequences.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise your majesty wasn’t appreciating the work I’m doing! I just won’t show up at that wedding, how about that?” you bit back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re such an idiot.” he laughed. “Give me those bags.”

A blissful week had passed, and he hadn’t pissed you off in real life nearly as much as you thought he would. It took a bit of getting used to to his family calling him Clay instead of his beloved internet username, and you did get a couple of suggestive looks from his mother the first few times she visited - you had a couple of “eye conversations” in which she never exactly asked if you were his girlfriend, and you never exactly denied it, but you knew both of you felt the weight of the unspoken words yet you had to keep everything secret and ambiguous. Or at least you thought you did, before he revealed to you that he told his mom the two of you were dating already. Seems like the glances were knowing and not questioning. Maybe you weren’t as good at eye conversation as previously thought.

Living with him was fine, mostly because he had godly air conditioning and a house that was probably way too big for him, and also a very cute cat that followed you everywhere and made living with a man for a full two weeks way more bearable. Finding out that he can’t cook was one of the most bizarre revelations about him that you’d had in the years of your friendship, and you demanded he watched as you made chicken wraps. You complained about how he was 21 and couldn’t cook for himself, he complained about how it’s 2021 and he can just order from Chipotle or something, dude.

A week of goofing around and trying to hide the fact the two of you temporarily lived together from the internet had passed quicker than it should’ve, and for the first time in seven days, Netflix was turned off and the two of you were dressing up for the wedding, ready to set off with his parents and younger sister. He spent ages trying to convince you to match with him, which was quite literally impossible because he wore a black suit and you brought a red dress, which resulted in the two of you roaming around a local mall at 10 am, half asleep, looking for a reasonably formal black dress, because of course Dream always got his way.

An hour of arguing and your fashion tastes clashing later, you picked an off shoulder black dress with a high slit, along with a pair of pumps, both of which you forced him to pay for, and went back home, ready to glam both of you up as much as humanly possible because you were not ready to let him show up in some horrendous pair of shoes and claim to be your boyfriend.

“Is this okay?” you questioned, turning from the mirror to face him and let him be the judge of your shimmery black and white eyelids, spending way too much time on a makeup look for a wedding of someone whose name you didn’t even know. He blinked at you as his judging gaze washed over you like a wave, scanning you up and down while you nervously cocked your head, leg tapping in faux impatient annoyance to cover up the fact that you felt like prey under his eyes.

“It’s… yeah, it is. You look good.” Dream confirmed, nodding his head at you in a movement that was way too quick and snappy and you turn back to the mirror with a huff, watching him stare right back at you.

“Too much, right? I should try something else.” You say, grabbing your makeup remover wipes, but he cuts in before you can even wipe a single smudge.

“No, no, it looks good, I promise. Really good. Don’t touch it.” Something way too sincere in his voice makes the air tense, more tense than usual, but you drop it, deciding to just take the compliment with a tight lipped smile.

“Okay. You ready?” you ask, and he nods, nervously straightening out his suit before looking back at you with an anxious grin.

“Yeah, I think so. Do I look fine?”

He did. He looked more than fine. You’d never seen him actually dress up for something and put proper care into his looks - he was practically forced into doing it by you this time as well - so seeing him in an actual black suit, all formal and expensive looking, messy dirty blond hair properly combed for the first time in ages, made you gulp and look away. You sort of never understood the argument that women and men can’t be friends because you were never attracted to one of your male friends, ever. Dream was born to be an exception to every rule, it seemed.

Realising that you abruptly looked away, you attempted to awkwardly clear your throat and smile at him.

“Yeah, you do. Let’s go.”

During the ride there, his mother seemed to finally explode and the words that have clearly wanted to pour out of her mouth for ages finally came out. You supposed it was better for the poor woman, and did your best to suppress a laugh when Dream dramatically sighed and leaned against the window when she nosily spoke up.

“So… since when have you and Clay been together? He’s told us absolutely nothing!” She spoke up from the passenger seat, shifting to look at you, excited smile plastered on her face and you politely smiled back, mentally noting that you’d have to bully the shit out of him for acting like his mom is embarrassing him in front of his 8th grade crush.

“Ah, we’ve been friends for a long while, but we only started dating a month or so ago, because it’s hard doing long distance and all that.” you said, hoping it would sound believable enough because the two of you rehearsed this a few days ago, writing out a whole backstory from how you started dating to what exact words he used when he asked you out. There were a couple of arguments here and there, such as the fact you refused to say you confessed you’ve been in love with him for years and he refused to say he admitted he’s been your “bottom bitch” for 3 years but in the end, you somehow managed to agree on a cohesive timeline of events.

“Oh, does that mean you’re going to move here?” she questioned, and that one didn’t surprise you either, Dream having prepared a full list of answers to questions that people might ask in your notes app. He was a perfectionist to the point it got on your nerves, but that had its own perks.

“No, but I’ll definitely visit more often, and if it goes well, I might as well move here.” you smiled back at her and she nodded, going back to staring through the windshield. You and Dream exchange a relieved glance that you hope his younger sister doesn’t notice.

“Let me tell you, I was waiting for you two to get together! He always talked about you, I was getting tired of him, you know that?” she giggled and you widened your eyes at Dream who, snapping out of somewhat of a daze, immediately jumped to protest, light blush adorning his pale cheeks.

“No, I didn’t! I did not, mom, don’t lie to her.” he argued while all she did was laugh.

“Oh come on, it’s not embarrassing now that you’re together!” she kept going, and his younger sister joined in, to make it even worse.

“Yeah, you do talk about her a lot, not gonna lie.” she spoke up and his cold glare directed her way told you everything you needed to know, hanging on by a thread not to burst out laughing. He refused to even look your way, turning back to the window as his cheeks started heating up. You couldn’t help but let out at least a bit of a giggle, placing your hand on his arm in fake comfort.

“It’s okay, you can admit it now.” your tone borderlined on mocking and he knew you’d make fun of him for days to come so he stayed silent while the rest of the car burst into laughter.

The wedding was truly beautifully set up, set in a hotel wedding venue, walls painted in pure innocent white with hints of gold here and there, and you nudged Dream as the two of you observed in awe, asking what sort of money the groom had to be able to afford this sort of expensive venue. Nudging him proved to be way easier now, because you linked arms - you originally made fun of him for suggesting to walk like that instead of holding hands like normal people, telling him you’d look like you were at your high school prom, but he persisted, and you didn’t end up looking as goofy as you thought.

“He’s a doctor or something, pretty sure.” he replied, quick feet trudging down the long hallways, your own struggling to keep up with him, especially in your heels. He seemed to be in a rush to sit and get it over with as soon as possible so he could avoid any nosy family members, but bad luck followed him everywhere, it seems, because as soon as you two entered the place where the bride and groom would unite, at least three different pairs of eyes locked on you, and you immediately saw a fairly elderly woman get up with open arms, staring at Dream with a grin on her face. You saw him immediately tense up, and almost laughed right then and there.

“There’s my boy! Oh, you’ve grown so much, come here!” The woman looked to be in her fifties and Dream let go of your arm to nervously laugh and fall into her hug, the two rocking from side to side as she kept going on about how it seemed that he grew taller and taller every time she saw him.

When the two pulled away, her eyes fixed on you, judgingly scanning from head to toe and you suddenly realised why Dream tensed up the way he did - old white women sure had a way to make you anxious. Thankfully, he stepped in.

“Aunt Bessie, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is aunt Bessie, my mom’s older sister.” he generously offered the explanation you were so obviously lacking and you grinned, as if that information helped you in any way, and stuck out your hand in an offer of a handshake. However, she seemed to have different plans, because as soon as she heard the words “my girlfriend” her face lit up as if she won the lottery and her lips stretched into a smile, opening her arms for you the same way she did for him.

“Oh my God, you finally got a girlfriend? Come here!” she said, shaking her head at your outstretched hand and gesturing you to return the hug which you quite hesitantly did, politely laughing as she hugged you tighter than you’d deem appropriate. Dream came from a family of huggers - that much was apparent from him, you guess, but you weren’t exactly prepared for this.

Aunt Bessie seemed to be way louder and screechier than expected, because the word “girlfriend” boomed through the room and off the snowy walls, and at least five other family members of his turned around to check who the lucky fellow that finally got a girlfriend was. Another one of his aunts seemed to notice the commotion and suddenly, another older woman with shoulder length, dyed blonde hair, along with her two younger kids, was hurling at you as well.

“I always complained to him that it was about time he got a girlfriend! He’s a fine young man, no wonder you picked him, honey.” Aunt Bessie shot you a knowing look and you closed your mouth in a tight lipped smile in a feverish attempt to keep down the laugh that threatened to escape you.

“Oh yeah, he definitely is.” you giggled, looking up at Dream again who looked like he wanted the earth below his feet to open and swallow him whole. Before you could nudge him in the ribs and tease him for hours to come, the other aunt suddenly spoke up.

“Clay! Oh my gosh, is that you?” she exclaimed, shocked grin on her face, and you briefly wondered if Dream ever even visited his family. He nervously smiled, obviously not really sure who this woman even is, but he hugged her back anyway, clearly walking the line between ‘happy to see his family’ and ‘insanely uncomfortable’.

“I haven’t seen you in so long, your dad hasn’t visited since we moved to Toronto! Look at how tall you are, you’re taller than my husband now! You used to be so tiny, whatever happened to you?” Upon hearing the word Toronto he seemed to realise who he was talking to as his eyes softened, and you wondered if he really was so expressive or you could just read him that well.

“I grew up, I guess.” He awkwardly laughed and she laughed harder than she should’ve before turning to you.

“Oh, and who is this?” She said, gaze periodically switching between him and you, a knowing smile on her face which told you she definitely knew who you were.

“Ah, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is… my dad’s cousin, Mabel.” He introduced, large hand landing on your back, and you felt like you were experiencing déjà vu at the way her face lit up at the mention of a girlfriend.

“Wow, it’s so nice to meet you, Y/N!” She said, energetically shaking your hand, before turning back to Dream. “You never told us you got a girlfriend! You’re finally planning on settling down, huh?”

Your head snapped in his direction at the speed of light when she mentioned settling down, and you could see him tense up as well as he nervously laughed.

“Yeah, we haven’t visited in a while, so nobody from the family really knew. And, uh… we haven’t really thought of that yet, we’re taking it slow and everything.” He said and you were almost in awe at how good he was at bullshitting. The woman did nothing but laugh.

“Ah, don’t lie to me, I see the way you two look at each other! It’s your wedding we’ll be attending next!” She winked, and just as Dream got ready to fake laugh once again, her family called her over and she excused herself, walking off.

The two of you hurried to your seats as well, sitting down next to his younger sister.

“Your family is insane, man, holy shit.” You laughed in disbelief, staring at him as he shook his head, clearly as distressed as you were.

“Literally nobody in this family gives a single fuck if I’m single or not except the old aunties. And I seem to have a shit ton of those.” He muttered under his breath. “The way you look at each other - I literally didn’t even look at you properly that whole time!”

You cackled at that one, hitting his arm. “She’s right, Clay. You’re one fine young man, eh?” You nudged him as he groaned in embarrassment, only turning your way to glare at you.

You didn’t get to tease him for much longer, though, because the organ started playing and the bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up, the groom standing at his designated place. The bride walked in, arms locked with her father, thin white veil covering her face as she walked down the aisle, looking angelic in her puffy wedding gown. Silky brown hair fell down her shoulders, curled towards the ends, and you could see the hint of blood red lipstick beneath the veil. She looked beautiful - the groom seemed to think so as well, because you could see him tapping the corner of his eye lightly, wiping any stray tears.

She finally made it to the end and stepped to face her soon-to-be husband as her father moved away, sitting back in his chair. The wedding officiant stepped up, and held a speech much longer than it should be, which just led you to zone out.

One day you’d be beneath that veil, wouldn’t you? One day, you’ll face your fiancé the same way she is, and you’ll let your hearts link with a string that nobody but the two of you could snap. Who would that be, though? Who could you even trust with your heart in their hands? And you’re not aware of how and why and when, but your eyes shot up at Dream, whose eyes also glinted in that way where you knew he wasn’t paying attention, and maybe he was thinking about the same thing as you. Maybe one day, you’ll be attending his wedding, forcing one of your friends to play a fake boyfriend as he wipes his tears, waiting for his bride to get to him.

It was disheartening, the thought of being a bystander while he locks lips with somebody else. You supposed you just liked being the center of attention, so you let yourself pretend you were his bride in your daydreams. Separating daydreams from rational thoughts was mandatory, because you weren’t sure how you’d explain to yourself that you can’t stand seeing Dream marry someone else.

Dream, the infamous hopeless romantic, still seemed out of it, maybe even a little emotional, despite not being that close with either of the two. He was probably thinking about his own wedding as well, thinking about his future, the face he’d see when he pulled back the veil.

Just then, his eyes darted to yours, and you realised you were caught staring, snapping your head back to the couple that started reading their vows by now. You started going red from the neck up, cheeks on fire as you could feel his gaze burning into you. He turned back after a few seconds, though, probably assuming you stared at him because you were bored, and neither of you spoke, even though you kind of wish you did. What even is there to say, though?

By the time you snapped back, the “I do”s were already being said, and her veil was getting lifted, showing her beauty to everyone present, and as they kissed the whole room bursted into cheers and applause in support of the newlyweds. The two exit, teary eyed, their parents follow close behind, and that’s when Dream’s family rushes both of you to your feet, following the two into the reception hall where the actual party would take place.

From then on, the wedding is the same as any other. The two have their first dance, they give a welcoming speech, and Dream lets you stuff your face with cake and repeatedly refills your wine glass as repayment for dragging you into this whole thing. At some point, he stretches his hand out to you and asks for a dance like a rom-com main character, and you’re not sure exactly why he did that because he’s mostly terrible at dancing, but you had fun letting him twirl you until you got dizzy anyway.

You also realised just how much he did actually need a fake girlfriend, because it seemed like every twenty minutes some sort of relative of his would walk up to the two of you and congratulate him on “finally getting a girlfriend”. You ended up bullying him for that as well, wondering just how long he’s been single for if they’re all this surprised that he’s got a girlfriend, to which he just downed the glass of water he’d been sipping for half an hour and asked you about the weather.

His family took a few pictures with the new couple - you even got to speak to the bride at some point, congratulating her and wishing the two of them well, but in the span of a few hours, the wedding was over and the newlyweds made a great exit, signifying the end of the party. The two of you were driven home by his parents, and you waved them goodbye as you stumbled to the front door, your heels insanely uncomfortable and the red wine in your stomach weighing down on you; you just wanted to get out of this dress and into a pair of pajamas and pass out on his couch in the living room.

That’s sort of exactly what you did - you half-assed taking your makeup off, wiping down your face a couple of times, deciding that was enough before changing into some worn pajamas and plopping down on the couch next to Dream who already claimed his place and sunk into the cushion while a random movie played on the TV. The two of you basked in the comfortable silence that surrounded you, the exhausted, tired type. You both appreciated the quiet and fell asleep sitting next to each other, wedding already forgotten.

That night, he went from Dream to Clay.

The departure was bittersweet. You left two days after that, your hug at the airport tight, warm, filled with a sugary sweet feeling you couldn’t quite place and sour acid that ate away at you because you didn’t want to leave in the slightest. His arms were warm, inviting, whispering for you to stay but you left anyway, waving him goodbye, setting off to home.

It seemed like all your problems came and went with him, because a week later, at 3 in the morning while you were up editing a video, you got an all caps message on your Discord from Sapnap.

“YOU’RE DATING DREAM?”

You blinked at your computer screen, white letters blinding you in the dark, brain trying to keep up with why he even thought that. Within 10 seconds, another message, this time from Dream.

“so i told george and sapnap that we’re dating”

“don’t kill me pls”

Yeah, you weren’t going to kill him, per se, but he definitely made your life a lot harder than it should be. You opened Discord, Premiere Pro and the unedited video abandoned, typing back to Clay quickly.

“WHY”

He responded immediately, as one panicked man does.

“they’ve been making fun of me for being single for ages now :(“

“we already did this fake dating thing before and it went perfectly fine”

“just play along for a month or so”

“pls”

You audibly sighed. And as if he could hear you, he started typing again.

“i’ll promote you on my channel more”

“just pls do it”

“you love me, right”

Another sigh fell from your lips before you could stop it. Of course you did, because if you didn’t, there’s no way you would be playing into this. You typed back.

“fine”

He messaged back immediately.

“THANK YOU”

“LOVE YOU <333”

With a shake of your head, you mumbled “idiot” with the ghost of a smile flashing on your face, switching back to your video, opting to ignore Sapnap for a little bit. He could wait.

Fake dating seemed pretty damn easy during the first week - you thought you were killing it by sending corny tweets and staged selfies so he could screenshot them and send them to the groupchat, giggling on call about how oblivious they are and how you’re fooling them so good, both of you opting to ignore the parts where they claimed they knew the two of you were gonna get together eventually. It was fun, lighthearted, and an excuse to flirt with someone you had nothing official with.

As much as all your problems came and went with Clay, though, they came and went with his friends as well, especially that hopeless man Clay called his best friend.

Because yeah, of course Sapnap was the one to accidentally spill to the public that the two of you were “dating”.

George was streaming at what was apparently a normal time in the UK, not so much for Florida, and Clay was sleeping while you were watching his stream while making some food for yourself. It was going fine, a bit of a chill stream, and you leaned against the fridge as your oven preheated, tired eyes following his Minecraft skin.

“Sophie, thank you for the dono! ‘Hey George, I love your videos, just wanted to ask if you were speedrunning with Dream today?’” he read out, and you could faintly hear Sapnap join the stream through your headphones.

“No I’m not, Dream’s… I don’t know what Dream’s doing right now, actually. He’s not responding to me, though. Probably talking to his girlfriend still.” he continued, exaggerating the last part mockingly, still playing into the whiny role of being upset that Clay was ditching the two of them for you. That majorly woke you up, though, as you stood straight on your feet immediately, because oh no, nobody was supposed to know.

You exited out of the Twitch app quickly, letting the stream play in the background as you tried to fish for Sapnap’s profile on Discord and text him as quick as possible, trying to warn him to not let anybody know, but before you could do it, you heard his laughter clear in the stream.

“Yeah, Y/N, his sweetie poo.” Sapnap said, causing George to laugh even louder, before moving onto the next topic, and your heartbeat picked up an insane amount, nails loud and probably damaging your phone screen as you typed as quickly as humanly possible to yell at him because this was not planned, at all.

You heard him go quiet after you shot him a couple of messages over Discord (“SAPNAP” “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID” “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” “NOBODY KNOWS YET” “IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU”), type something to George who then fell quiet as well for a few seconds, pure horror on his face, and then went back to streaming as if nothing happened while Sapnap profusely apologised to you on his and George’s behalf.

No apology could fix what had already been done, though, and you were left alone with the warzone that was Twitter who had already speculated the two of you were dating long before while Clay peacefully slept somewhere in his house at 4 am in Florida. You bombarded him with messages and waited until he woke up ‘cause what were you even supposed to do?!

You chose to spend your time finishing the pizza you were originally supposed to make and almost burnt your whole apartment down because you forgot the oven was on for a whole hour while yelling at Clay’s idiotic best friends. You yelled at Sapnap, who kept apologising to you, you yelled at George, who yelled back that it’s not that big of a deal because people were bound to find out anyways, and you yelled at Clay, because he was the guilty one somehow for not being awake during your breakdown.

He did eventually wake up though, to the shitshow that were his notifications with at least thirty messages from each of you, messages from his other YouTube friends who were fairly surprised, and his entire fanbase going ham on Twitter. He was surprisingly calm about it - calmer than you were, anyways, and sheepishly said over the phone that the fake dating thing may have to go on for a little longer since you couldn’t just date for a month and then break up, and you were sort of okay with that.

And of course, the business side of him awoke at that moment, and he giddily told you about the amount of views the two of you could pull if you did the same shit you do with George and Sapnap anyway, but on livestream.

You rolled your eyes.

And then agreed anyway.

And so, the charade began.

His Twitter statement was up shortly, telling the people that you’d been dating for a couple of weeks and weren’t planning to tell anybody yet until a certain someone spilled their guts live, and the fact Dream was dating someone, let alone another popular streamer, took the internet by storm. You expected hate, and you got quite a bit of that, but the people that had shipped the two of you before were certainly more than delighted and a lot of Clay’s fans were supportive.

Now, both of you had excuses to do chill streams together and just hang out and you took the opportunity and ran with it.

You’d sit and play Geoguessr or just try and speedrun Minecraft a bunch of times for hours on end, doing stupid bits and things you’d be doing offline anyways, with a little more flirting than usual, because that’s what made it interesting.

“Oh this is France, for sure.” you claimed one night, two or three weeks after the secret was officially out, chewing on the fries you bought for this specific occasion, streaming on his alt to a few thousand people.

“You think so? It could be Belgium, too.” he responded, humming in thought as he looked around.

“I know so.” you responded.

“How?”

“I just do. Gamer intuition, babe.” you said, and he wheezed at your response, repeating the words gamer intuition under his breath.

“No, seriously. It is France, I know it is, I’ve seen so many pictures of that place I know it like the back of my hand now. That’s Lyon, or something.” you continued, plopping another french fry into your mouth.

“You have? Why do you know so much about France, that’s so random.” he responded, opening the map and pointing to France, although he keeps looking around, unsure of his decision.

“I dunno, I like it there. I wish I could move there.” you replied.

“Why, though?”

“It’s pretty and heavily romanticised! Just like me!” you joked and he laughed, before letting you continue. “I dunno, it’s the city of love. Be a little romantic.”

“The… the city of love is whatever city the two of us are in.” he said, and it took a few seconds for you to process the joke before letting out a fake disappointed sigh.

“I can’t believe I’m dating someone as corny as you.”

At that, he bursts into wheezes, and you follow along, enjoying the sound of his laughter coursing through your headphones more than you used to a few weeks back. It feels nice, feels right, acting like this. You like calling him your boyfriend more than you think you should.

A few weeks go by, and it feels all too natural. It feels too natural, talking to him first thing in the morning when you’ve barely even had your coffee, calling him pet names, throwing sweet words at each other publicly like they mean nothing. It feels all too natural, and nice, and all too right, and you don’t even notice when the two of you cross the line between public and private, and you’re stuck making stupid jokes about making out when you first see each other when there’s nobody to witness them except the walls of your rooms, but you don’t like thinking about that, because you know it’ll bring nothing but confusion. The current this that the two of you have is perfect to you, perfectly lighthearted and funny and fun, and you intend on keeping it that way, refusing to think about it in any way past jokes.

That is, until you can’t anymore.

It’s late, again, and you’re staring at his contact name on your phone screen, lazily lying on the bed. It reminds you of a night from roughly 3 months ago, when your whole friendship seemed to change in the few seconds it took you to process what he’d asked of you, and it feels weird, but nice.

“My mom really likes you, you know?” Clay breaks the quiet that you’ve learned to appreciate in his presence, and you exhale through your nose, the noise just short of a chuckle.

“Yeah?” You laugh, and he does as well.

“Yeah.” He reaffirms. “She thinks you’re a great girlfriend. Apparently I seem brighter ever since we got together.”

You laugh again. “I am a great girlfriend, to be fair. She’s totally right.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that. If you’re as good of a girlfriend as you pretend to be, though, then you’re amazing.” He says, and words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Yeah? You wanna find out?” The flirty nature is nothing strange to the two of you, but this time it feels kinda different, it feels like you’re stepping into dangerous territory that there’s no coming back from. You feel like you’ve ruined everything, for some reason.

He laughs, like normal, though. He laughs like nothing happened at all, and you’re so, so grateful for that.

“Sure, let’s do it. You’re about to unpack the full Clay boyfriend experience.” He snickers and you laugh as well.

“That means I just unlock the dick as well as the personality.” you respond, quick as always, and the wheeze that escapes him is so loud that it makes you laugh too.

“...Unlock the dick…” he repeats through another wheeze and you nod, laughing.

“Yeah! I mean I’m literally experiencing the boyfriend experience without actually having a boyfriend, it’s fuckin’ great.” you say and he hums.

“You could have one, though.”

The implications are crazy, his words are crazy, he’s crazy and everything that he could mean and couldn’t mean by that is driving you crazy too, brain faltering and heart seeming way too big for your chest to contain it. It’s silent.

“I could, I guess.”

You choose to say, and he switches the topic naturally, like he never said anything.

Things are never the same again.

It’s not in a bad way. Sure, it is kind of a bad way for the feelings you’re trying to push down inside you, a bad way for hot nights when the unbearable heat forces you to stay up even when you don’t want to and you have no choice but to think about why you feel the way you feel as you melt into the burning sheets below you, a bad way for when he jokes about finding somebody else and you feel your stomach churning. A bad way for realising that this fake dating thing is really getting to you, but not a bad way in general.

Maybe it’s in a good way. Maybe the underlying implications whenever he makes jokes about making the relationship real are good, maybe the way he calls you in the middle of the night when he’s anxious and freaking out and defends himself by saying: “You’re my girlfriend, you’re always there for me, I just figured I could call you.” and you end up wondering if it’s possible to say jokes in such a vulnerable state or if he’s serious is good, maybe the way it’s been a few months and he won’t tell his own best friends that it was a joke the whole time is good, maybe the way you confronted him about it and he said he likes having you as his girlfriend is good.

Maybe the way the two of you are always walking the line between joking and being serious, between being friends and something more, between lies and pranks and emotional investment and fear of committing, and the way you’re always trying to push the other off, is good.

The fans love it. The fanart is incredible (serves especially well for those hot nights when you can’t fall asleep and you scroll, watching yourself fall in love with Clay in every universe, tales told by people who observe your story and find it worthy enough to retell in their own words, to take the love you pretend to have and turn it into something real), people love to gush over the compliments he sprinkles in at random times during conversation and the general flirty dynamic is loved by many, pulling in more views and attraction for you.

And you suppose that’s good too, but at some point, the good warps into bad, bad warps into terrible, and you wonder if this is all even worth the sleepless nights, wondering if he feels the same way.

Those thoughts haunt you more and more often every day. When you wake up, and text him first thing in the morning, your brain acknowledges that the camera is off - nobody’s around, people aren’t listening, so why are you still playing the role of a girlfriend and starting up a conversation with him when you haven’t even brushed your teeth properly? When you’re editing in the middle of the day and he calls to keep you company, making more stupid boyfriend jokes, your stomach flips in a weird way that makes you hate him, hate the way he can joke about these things so freely, like it doesn’t hurt him. Like it doesn’t affect him like it affects you.

But, as much as you wish you could hate him, you couldn’t bring yourself to, and that was the worst part. Because, in reality, whenever he laughed you’d smile without realising you did, whenever anything exciting happened to you he was the first one you went to, whenever you wanted to laugh or cry or sit in silence for hours or complain you always went to him, the one person who you know would listen. In reality, whenever he made a joke about giving up on the fake dating and making it real, you wished so bad that he was serious this time, that this was what it took and he’d crack and all of your suffering would end.

It eventually happens.

It’s a pretty chilly morning, birds chirp outside and the sun that slowly rises is covering the kitchen floor in a golden hue as you pour milk into your cereal with one hand and hold your phone in the other, letting Clay ramble about whatever it was this time, when he brought it up.

“So, when do you wanna come down to Florida again?” he asks casually, and you almost drop the gallon of milk in your hand.

“What?”

“I said, when are you coming down to Florida again? Last time you came was pretty fun.” he says, and an empty silence follows. There’s an unsaid “I miss you” that you don’t hear, and he’s too afraid of saying it.

“Florida wasn’t exactly on my schedule this month, man.” you say, placing your phone on the counter for a second. Clay sure knew how to surprise a person.

“Well put it down, then.” he jokes, and you hum.

“What, you got another wedding coming up?” you giggle and he groans - you never really stopped making fun of him for that wedding.

“No, I don’t. Can’t a man just miss seeing his beloved girlfriend?” It’s unbelievable how quickly dread can wash over you as soon as he makes one of those jokes. You were convinced the mix of anxiety and butterflies that appears in your stomach was gonna kill you sometime soon.

“He can, he’s just being weirdly insistent.” you argue nonetheless. “But sure, I’ll consider it.”

You do more than consider it - in a few weeks, you’re back at the airport, and falling into his arms has never given you such an adrenaline rush in your whole life. Something about having him wrapped around you, close to you, the warmth of his body radiating into yours sent you spiraling, head clouded with nothing but love and the fact that you wish you could stay there forever. You wished you could press pause and cherish the moment, let yourself bask in that feeling of pure love, pure adoration that you helplessly drowned in. But you couldn’t, and you left his arms feeling oddly empty.

Hiding the fact that you were unapologetically head over heels for him proved to be a hundred times more difficult when you were right there, next to him, talking to him, when you could just kiss him any second, feel his lips on yours and nobody would stop you - the opportunity was right there, looming over you, the devil on your shoulder taunting you, telling you to do it.

You got to wake up in the same house as him, watch his hair stick out in different directions and his raspy morning voice as he complained about the smell of your coffee, watch his eyes glint whenever he talked about something he liked and observe as he carried around Patches like a little baby. You got to experience every bit of domestic without the consequences of committing, and you wondered just how far this would go. For how much longer would the two of you blatantly ignore the fact that you were a couple that slapped the title “fake” on it because you were cowards who refused to admit what this truly was.

Not for long, apparently, because you grew tired, and decided to put an end to everything on one random Thursday night - and if he hated you forever for it, then so be it.

You were sitting on his couch, watching a random movie together, drowning in one of his Dream hoodies while you chewed the popcorn he made. It was dark outside, just past midnight, and you could see the branches of a tree swaying calmly through one of the nearby windows - the silence while he scrolled through his phone lazily was comforting too, everything was lazy and serene and it would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for the constant anxiety that gripped you by the throat whenever you were in his close proximity, the nervousness that killed you, the upset feeling of wanting to cuddle up with him but knowing you can’t because you guys are just friends, and nothing more.

The couple on the screen kiss while a violin plays in the background - how fitting. Maybe that’s what pushes you to the edge, or maybe you were just that sick and tired.

You were exhausted, beyond exhausted. Your eyes were tired, the anxiety was morphing into annoyance and anger and you were ready to give up on it all. If this ended the friendship, at least you two had a good run. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.

“You know, you still owe me a favor in return for pretending to be your girlfriend.” you say, and you sound gone, zoned out, more than you wish you were. You hear his phone turn off with a click.

“Yeah? What do you want?” Clay asks, and you blankly stare at the TV for a few seconds before turning to face him, eyes burning.

“Kiss me.”

It’s silent. The characters on screen are arguing. You hear the wind through one of his open windows.

“What?” he asks, voice cracking, and his expression falls. You’ve fucked it. Oh well.

“I want you to kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like someone’s watching and you wanna make it believable.” you say, eyes boring into his, your words having nowhere near as much of an effect on yourself as they do on him. Your eyes sting like they’re being lit on fire, and your throat is sort of closing up, but it’s fine. “Let me have this before I go, because once I leave, I don’t wanna do this anymore, Clay. I can’t pretend like I don’t want you to introduce me as your girlfriend and fully mean it. I can’t lie to your face anymore.”

Silence. Deafening silence, once again.

“I love you.” he blurts out, and you don’t even register it at first. “I don’t want this shit to be fake either. God, I really don’t. It hasn’t been fake for a while now, at least not on my part. I’m sorry, it’s just- it was easier to keep this bit going than it was to actually admit that I’m… into you.”

And once again, the room falls into silence, much like it always does whenever the two of you share moments like these.

And then, you burst into laughter.

“So… so you mean to tell me, that both of us have liked each other this whooooole fucking time, and just refused to admit it and ‘pretended to date’ instead?” you burst into giggles, and he looks sort of hesitant to laugh, but he does anyway.

“I mean… yeah? I was waiting for you to call me out for doing all that when nobody was watching! Why did you never call me out?! Don’t blame me, I made it so damn obvious that I wanted you!” he protests, and you almost can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“Excuse me? You should’ve just fucking told me instead of making a million and one jokes about how I’m your girlfriend! We’re not in middle school, Clay!” you argue.

“Yeah, but I thought you’d catch on and talk to me about it at some point! You never called me out for anything!”

“So what, I’m supposed to just read your mind now? You’re fucking unbelievable.” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest and turning away in annoyance. As soon as a warm hand lands on your shoulder, though, the annoyance melts like wax under fire, leaving nothing behind.

“I still haven’t returned that favor, you know?” he whispers in your ear, breath fanning your neck, closer than he should be. The hairs on your neck stand up as you turn back to Clay, who wore a mischievous grin and a glint in his eyes that suggested no good.

You suppose bad can be good, sometimes.

As his lips press onto yours, that theory is proven true, because he sends a flicker of fire burning down your spine, spreading into your limbs, making your fingertips electric as you pulled him in closer, hand snaking up to grip at his hair - the everlasting grin against your own proves, once again, to be no good as his hands slip under your hoodie and grip your sides, but you think you enjoy this sort of bad.

They sneak up further, and you hear him chuckle into the kiss as your insides melt at his touch. The two of you silently agree that maybe he should ask for favors more often.

#dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken fluff #dreamwastaken fanfic #dreamwastaken angst #dream x reader #dream x you #dreamwastaken x y/n

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helloalycia · 3 years

Text

a bitch [one] // leigh shaw

summary: you're used to leigh's constant mood swings and unpredictability, but didn't expect she'd ever do something to hurt you like she did.

warning/s: cheating

author's note: an angsty leigh shaw imagine was requested, so here we are! there's one more part to this so enjoy 😊

part two | masterlist | wattpad

Leigh Shaw could be a very unpredictable woman.

Ever since the unfortunate death of her husband, Matt, she'd become very erratic. It was hard to remember what she was like before he died, but then she'd flash me a smile and say something adorable and I remembered. Other times though, she could be as explosive as they came. If you ever got swept up in her mood swings, you'd be screwed.

Despite this, I remained by her side. That's what best friends did. Even when she yelled at me or gave me the cold shoulder or treated me like dirt, I stayed because I knew that was what she needed.

One time, a few months after Matt's death, I was stopping by to see how she was. A prime example of the cold effect she could have on people.

I raised my hand to knock, but the door suddenly swung open, revealing a peeved Jules and a pissed Leigh further behind her in the hallway.

"Hey," I greeted her sister with a smile, but she moved past me moodily. I glanced at Leigh before catching Jules' arm, stopping her. "What happened?"

Jules smiled bitterly. "You know, you should reconsider where you put your care, Y/N. Some people just aren't worth it."

At that last part, she glared over my shoulder, no doubt at Leigh. I turned to look at Leigh, who merely stuck a middle finger up at her sister before storming towards to the kitchen.

"What a bitch," Jules mumbled, making me wince because it was such a horrible word.

Jules shook me off before marching to her car to leave. I sighed and turned around to let myself in to their house. Closing the door behind me, I followed after Leigh and found her making toast in the kitchen angrily.

"Hey," I began softly, not wanting to give her another reason to get pissed off. Sitting on a stool at the island, I asked, "What happened?"

She forced a smile as she grabbed her toast from the toaster and dropped it on a plate. "My sister can't respect my space is all."

I pursed my lips awkwardly, watching as she grabbed butter from the fridge. Noticing my silence, she glanced up at me through her eyelashes.

"What?" she deadpanned, pausing from her actions.

"I don't think Jules is trying to upset you," I began, knowing I'd probably regret it. "I'm sure she understands you want space, but she loves you. And when you see someone you love hurting, you feel like you have to do something."

A sour smile broke out on her face as she scoffed. "Wow. Could you have your head stuck any further up Jules' arse?"

"Leigh, that's not what I'm–"

"What the hell are you even doing here?" she snapped. "I didn't invite you, Y/N."

Tensing my jaw, I refrained from getting annoyed. "Believe it or not, I actually wanted to check on you."

She curled her lips into a frown. "Well, I'm fine."

As if to prove that she was, she continued to butter her toast, but when she set her knife down, it slipped off the edge of the table and clattered to the floor. Frustrated, she slammed a fist on the countertop.

"It's okay, I'll–"

"Just get out," she cut me off when I was making a move to help her. I paused, wondering if she meant it, then her deadly green glare settled on my face. "Leave."

Sighing with defeat, I nodded and wordlessly left.

—

Sometimes Leigh wouldn't apologise. She'd act like nothing had happened and we'd move on. Other times, she actually would, surprisingly recognising that she'd done something wrong.

There was this one time when I'd invited her over for the evening to eat dinner and watch some films. The dinner went perfectly fine – we talked, we laughed, we spent time together – but then when we settled in the living room to watch a film, things started to unravel.

I can't remember exactly what she'd said. One second we were choosing a film on Netflix, then she was trying to make plans with me on the weekend. Unfortunately, I already had plans with my girlfriend, Alex, and Leigh didn't seem to like this. She'd made a comment under her breath and though I don't remember it specifically, I knew it wasn't polite.

Before I knew it, we were screaming at each other, arguing over the dumbest things. It started off being about my girlfriend and then the most unrelated stuff was being brought up on both of our ends. Sometimes she could be so aggravating, managing to rile me up and bring the worst out in me. The argument lasted a few minutes before she left, leaving me seething and full of hurt.

It was the following day at work when she came to see me next. I owned a café a few doors down from her mother's dance studio and was working a shift when her sister came through the front door.

I smiled at her when she approached the counter dressed in gym gear, her usual getup when at work with her family.

"Hey, how're you doing, Jules?" I asked.

"I'm good," she greeted with a smile, before it faded. "Just a warning, Y/N, Leigh is incoming in one minute. She wants to apologise."

Eyes rolling with mild annoyance, I let out a sigh. As dreadful as our spat was last night, I knew I had to also apologise to her. I'd said some hurtful things that made me feel all icky inside. Going to sleep after a fight was never a nice feeling.

"I don't know how you've put up with her for this long," Jules commented, picking up a cupcake from the display. "She can be so horrible to you."

I frowned, not feeling comfortable talking badly of Leigh behind her back. "That's not fair, Jules. You know what she's going through."

Jules gave me a knowing look. "I do, but that doesn't give her a free pass to treat you like she does."

Shrugging, I busied myself with cleaning up the crumbs from Jules' cupcake and giving her a plate.

"I take it you're going to forgive her then," she stated, though she definitely knew the answer judging from her expression.

"We both said some things we shouldn't have," I tried to explain so it didn't seem like I was giving in so easily, which deep down, I definitely knew I was, but Leigh was worth it.

Jules chuckled. "Yep, you're forgiving her. Looks like it's Leigh's lucky day."

I didn't say anything as she picked up the plate, ready to take a seat at one of the tables. Just as she was about to leave, she paused thoughtfully.

"You know, if you didn't have a girlfriend already, I'd say you were whipped," she said casually.

Ignoring her words, I watched her take her a seat on one of the spare tables. She made jokes like that a lot, but the truth was that I would probably do anything for Leigh. We'd been best friends since university – that was way too long to simply throw away our friendship because she was going through a tough time. And yes, the girlfriend talk threw me off at times... by the time I'd realised I liked Leigh as more than a friend, she was engaged. And I got over it, but Jules continued with the jokes and I continued to dismiss it.

As Jules warned, Leigh entered the café and caught my eyes with a nervous smile. I returned it, just as nervous as she looked, before watching her approach the counter. She was dressed in gym gear, like her sister, but a fine layer of sweat coated her skin which made me think she may have just finished teaching a class.

"Hey," she said with a rare gentleness to her voice. Her hands rested on the counter, fumbling slightly, before she put them by her sides instead. "How are you?"

Uncomfortably, I played with a loose thread on my apron. "I've been better, not gonna lie."

She exhaled regretfully. "I want to apologise, Y/N. Last night... it wasn't fair what I did. Just snapping at you like that."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet and avoided her eyes.

"I just get so angry sometimes," she admitted, noticing I wouldn't speak. She sounded exhausted and I looked up to see her running a hand through her hair. "I can't explain it. My anger at you wasn't about Alex or the plans, it was just me."

"It's because you're still hurting," I told her what I'd observed, shoulders relaxing. "And you're not very good at expressing that."

She shook her head, eyes drifting to the till distractedly. "I should be because I keep hurting the people I love."

My heart ached at the devastation in her voice and I put my hand out, motioning for her to take it. Thankfully, she did and I squeezed hers gently.

"Look, let's just forget it happened," I said with a small smile. "I... I didn't exactly say the nicest of things either."

She grimaced, letting go of my hand. "No, I get why you said it. It wasn't fair of me to just start on you like that. You were just defending your girlfriend... God, I can be such a bitch sometimes."

I winced at the word, it grating my ears. "That's not true, Leigh."

"It is." She nodded slowly, rolling her eyes. "Everybody thinks it. Including you."

"I don't think that," I said with creased brows, meeting her saddened eyes. "You're not a bitch. I've never once thought that."

"Really?" She raised a brow, smiling with defeat. "Not even that time when I stole your doughnuts after that fight we had two weeks ago?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Not even when I snapped at you for no reason the other day when you tried to help me write my article?"

"Not even then."

Her expression softened with guilt. "Not even when I called you a selfish jerk last night for not wanting to spend time with me even though you have a life of your own?"

I rounded the counter and stopped before her, looking between her guilt-ridden eyes. "Especially not then, Leigh."

She breathed out quietly and I pulled her in for a hug, glad when I felt her relax beneath me. Her arms clasped around my waist and I was glad we were good again.

—

It was a year later when Leigh and I eventually got together as a couple. It was a long time after I broke up with my girlfriend and it was completely unexpected.

I'd invited Leigh to be my 'date' to my mum's birthday party, since the two had gotten on so well in the past. She was happy to oblige, but as soon as we arrived, her mood changed.

I was helping collect the pizzas from the delivery guy when he started to flirt with me. At the time, I didn't even realise, but I knew that Leigh had acted different since it happened. When I finally confronted her about her sudden mood swing, she proceeded to make out with me completely unexpectedly and then admitted she was in love with me.

I'm not gonna lie, it was a good time. Since breaking up with my girlfriend, I'd been single and falling for my best friend all over again. Leigh making the first move was all I'd needed to finally share how I felt, too.

That was six months ago, and since then, we'd been going strong. Of course, there were still times when she had her mood swings and took it out on me (and literally everyone else) without realising, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I was used to it, used to her. So much that I should have trusted her even when presented with conflicting evidence.

We were at her workplace, Basically News, where she wrote columns part-time. It was a work party she'd been invited to and she'd asked me to be her date, which of course I said yes to. At the moment, we may or may not have been a little tipsy as we stood in the corner, drinking from flutes of champagne.

"Thank you again for coming here tonight as my date," Leigh said with a grin, arms laced around my neck as she held me close.

Pressing a kiss to my lips briefly, she pulled away and left my head spinning, and not just because of the alcohol.

"Any excuse to not be on the closing shift at work is good enough for me," I said playfully, resting my hands behind her waist.

She gasped. "Oh? So it wasn't me who persuaded you to come tonight?"

I pulled a face, feigning forgetfulness. "Hmm, I'm not too sure. Maybe you'll have to remind me why I agreed to come."

She bit her lip to contain her grin, eyes flickering to my lips. Leaning in, her lips met mine and I closed my eyes, enjoying the way she combed her hand through my hair and tilted my head towards her so she could get better access. She was a really good kisser and she knew the effect she had on me as I felt her smirk into it, catching her breath, before chasing down my lips and nibbling on them temptingly.

Remembering where we were, I gently pushed her back and tried to contain my smile. "Make it PG, Leigh. You're at work."

She licked her lips and began to laugh, green eyes darting between mine. "You're just so cute."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "I don't want everyone here knowing how irresistible you are or they might try to steal you away."

Her laughter filled the air, making my stomach flip at the sound.

"Though I think they may already know that because of how sexy you look tonight," I added, eyes fluttering down her body to appreciate just how well she pulled off her fitted black dress.

She raised her brows with surprise, making me mirror her expression comically.

Leaning close to my ear, she said above a whisper, "D'you wanna know something not-so-sexy?"

Her breath tickled my ear and sent shivers down my spine, making me tense up slightly. Judging from the expression on her face, she was very much aware of what she was doing to me.

"What?" I asked with amusement.

"I really need to pee," she said, and I began to laugh because she did, too, and I knew she wasn't kidding. Pressing a kiss to my cheek, she added, "I'll be right back."

Letting go of me, she waved goodbye before going to the toilets. I busied myself with getting to know her colleagues whilst I waited, until five minutes had passed and I realised she still hadn't returned. Deciding to check on her, I headed in the direction of the toilets, only to freeze when I saw something I definitely wasn't expecting.

Leigh was kissing another girl outside of them.

It was her colleague, Abby, that was the first thing I noticed. But I didn't stay to make out anything more as I immediately turned around and walked away, trying to make my brain catch up to what I'd just seen.

Leigh was kissing somebody else. Somebody that wasn't me. Somebody who I had always suspected had a thing for her, but I never considered that maybe Leigh had a thing for her, too.

Definitely not tipsy anymore, I found the nearest table and took a seat, trying not to assume the worst. But how else could I perceive what I'd just seen? It could have been a mistake, though I was so shocked and hurt and angry that I couldn't imagine how. Maybe she'd explain herself to me. Or maybe she'd tell me what actually happened. Maybe.

Leigh returned not long after, finding me at the table. Smiling like nothing had happened, she pulled me up and led me to dance. Not once, for the remainder of the evening, did she suggest that anything was out of the ordinary, nor did she explain herself. And I couldn't help but wonder how I had the worst luck with women.

This one hurt way more than the last time because it wasn't just anyone – it was Leigh.

—

A year and a half ago:

"Danny mentioned the breakdown you had last week because they didn't have doughnuts, so I, er, brought you these just in case."

Leigh cracked a small smile in the passenger's seat before accepting the box I held out to her. I'd just parked up outside the place where she went to her grief counselling group, having offered to drop her off. It had only been a few months since Matt died, but sometimes, the old Leigh shone back through and it made me feel hopeful that she'd make it through this.

"Thank you," she said genuinely, fingers wavering on top of the box, before she lifted her gaze to meet mine. "And thanks for the ride. You didn't have to."

I shrugged, thumb tapping the steering wheel mindlessly. "I don't mind. I just wanna make sure you get here okay."

She sighed, shaking her head, though a ghost of a smile was on her lips.

"Text me when you're done and I'll be happy to pick you up, too," I added casually.

"Thanks," she repeated, though didn't make a move to leave my car just yet. I didn't rush her.

Sadly, the silence was broken when my phone began to ring and my girlfriend's name flashed on the screen in my car where my phone was connected to. Glancing at Leigh, I just about made out the eye-roll she did.

"Sorry," I apologised, before declining the call instantly.

"Why d'you do that? Could've been urgent," she said with a clipped tone.

Oh, no, I thought. Whenever she used that tone, it meant she was picking a fight.

"I'm here with you," I said like it was obvious, hoping that one thing didn't ruin the moment.

She tensed her jaw, looking down as her hair fell around her face. "Whatever."

Before I could think of a way to make her feel better, the screen lit up again and my ringtone echoed through the car. I winced at the glare Leigh sent to the screen. If looks could kill, my car would be toast.

Declining the call, I looked to her worriedly. "What's wrong, Leigh?"

Her glare fell to me. "Why the hell do you keep declining it? She's calling you for a reason."

I raised my eyebrows. "Because I'm here with you? Alex can wait. I'm taking you to grief group."

"Well, I'm here at grief group," she mocked, turning to face me with an unexplainable frustration.

I didn't understand why she was so touchy all of a sudden. The car ride here, she'd been fine. Just a moment ago, she'd been fine. But now... now she was acting unreasonable.

My phone buzzed in my pocket suddenly, followed by a tone that signalled I had a text. Leigh smiled bitterly, rolling her eyes.

"Let me guess," she muttered. "It's her."

Still very much unable to keep up with her mood swings, I didn't answer. Her gaze snapped to mine as she stared at me with disbelief.

"Why the fuck aren't you checking it?!"

I grimaced, my own exasperation slipping out when I blurted, "I'm a little confused to what you want from me right now, Leigh!" Breathing out slowly, I said, "I'm sorry if this is bothering you. I'll turn off my phone next time."

As if I'd deeply offended her, she raised a brow incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Why would this bother me?"

Okay, I was extremely confused now.

"I don't know," I admitted, bewildered.

"Is that what you think of me? Some clingy bitch who won't let you live your life?"

I widened my eyes. "What?! Leigh! I never said–"

"Sorry if taking me is such a task," she said abruptly, moving to put the box of doughnuts on the dashboard.

"I never said that," I told her sternly.

"You didn't have to. I know already. I'm just a burden on everyone."

She got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her. Meanwhile, my confusion was still trying to make out what the hell just happened.

"Don't bother picking me up," she said through the open window of the passenger's door. A scowl was on her face as she added, "You should go spend time with Alex. She's probably missing you."

Breathing out, I leaned back into my seat and watched her walk away and to the entrance of the building. When she acted like this – so push and pull with her emotions – I was so conflicted. What could possibly be going on in her mind that she managed to flip everything that just happened? A complete 180?

Knowing she'd just need some time to cool off, I shook my head and focused on leaving. But then I remembered my phone went off and pulled it out to see what was so important. Aside from two missed calls from Alex, I saw I had a voicemail, too, not a text.

Grumbling fo myself, still disgruntled by Leigh's attitude, I raised the phone to my ear to have a listen, whilst hoping it wasn't actually anything life-threatening.

At first, all I could hear was some very faint laughing and vague noises, kind of like material rubbing together and breathing. I assumed Alex had left me a voicemail without even realising since I'd done that countless of times to other people, having dropped my phone in my bag without realising it was still on. But then the noises became more distinct and I made out words.

"Jake, stop messing about," a voice said, whom I instantly recognised as my girlfriend.

I furrowed my brows. Jake? Jake as in the guy she worked with Jake?

"If you stop teasing me then maybe I will," a gravelly yet devious voice responded.

My throat went dry when I heard more laughter before it went quiet. It didn't take a genius to understand what was happening, especially when the moans that followed echoed in my ear, begging me not to forget.

Unable to listen anymore, I hung up and threw my phone onto the passenger's seat. Tears welled in my eyes as I glanced over at it hesitantly, almost wishing it hadn't even existed. And as much as I didn't want to accept the glaring fact, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

She was cheating on me.

#leigh shaw #leigh shaw x you #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #sorry for your loss #sorry for your loss imagine #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine

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newtonsheffield · 3 years

Note

Hi! Hope you’re having a nice weekend. I was curious if you would ever consider exploring a “What if” AU for Royals where Anthony does call Kate after that first night? I know it probably wouldn’t be as dramatic, but there was a line in there about how Anthony knows if he hadn’t done what he had done, then everyone probably would have thought he was perfect for Kate, and it made me wonder what that would have been like for them.

Hello!

I am having a good weekend! It's a four day weekend leading into a two day work week courtesy of this trash team building day so you know!

Anyway! I think that had it not been for the coup of it all, The palace would have been glad of the idea of Anthony as Kate's companion. He's young, and handsome, and a viscount, she could definitely do worse. So let's take a little look at how this would have gne.

“Did you have a run in with some sort of animal last night, Kate?”

And in her sleep deprived state Kate hadn’t seemed to think the better of sharing this with her seventeen year old sister, “Something like that.”

Edwina had made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat, “Sophie’s on her way in, and you might want to dig out some high necklines to cover that mess.”

Sophie’s eyes had flickered over her appearance in that non judgmental way she had tutting a little and saying “I’ll send the make up girls in. I hope it was at least good.”

And something deep within her had burned when she saw the little patchwork quilt of bruises and nips he’d left along her collarbone, her neck, possessively done almost, a smirk coming to her face when she thought that at least she wouldn’t have to have the stylists cover the marks his stubble had left between her thighs.

“Oh it was good enough.”

“You’re foul.” Edwina had said primly, though her lips were ticking upwards in a smirk. “Will we be seeing this, I hesitate to use the word gentleman, again?”

Kate’s heart had done an odd little flutter as she thought about the note she’d left him, forcing herself to shrug. “I don’t know.”

She sat in the make up chair while her team chatted around her, working quickly before she had to meet Mary. Kate's mind kept slipping back to last night, the way Anthony had grinned down at her in his kitchen as he'd searched for something for them to eat, his hips between hers as he hoisted her onto his kitchen counter his voice hot in her ear Oh look, I've found something for me to eat.

It had been nice despite how filthy parts of it had been, and not just to escape, but to feel some kind of connection.

"Kate, your phone is ringing." Sophie said a little exasperatedly, not looking up from her own phone as she typed furiously.

Kate stared down at it, the unknown number making her heart beat quickly Surely it couldn't be him. She'd only left him a few hours ago... Surely it wasn't him, her hand hesitated over it.

"Oh for God's sake." Edwina snatched the phone from her lap from her chair beside Kate's. And before Kate could stop her she'd answered it. "Hi, Kate's phone?"

Edwina's eyebrows shot up, ignoring Kate's insistently holding out her hand. "Anthony?"

Kate's heart stopped, her mouth falling open, "Eddie give me the phone."

"Anthony, Kate's just in make up right now, Can I-?"

"Give me the phone!"

"Oh! She's done apparently! Well Done Anthony, you got her out of her chair." Edwina was grinning manically now as Kate snatched the phone from her, sweeping from the room her make up barely done, her heart pounding.

"Um Hi? Anthony?"

Silence stretched over the other end of the phone for half a second before a deep voice rumbled through it "Now, I don't know about wanting to escape again, but do you want to get dinner tonight?"

Kate felt her mouth fall open, the answer on her lips immediately, but there was just a tiny problem, last night she'd been Kate, and this morning she had responsibilities and appearances and a make up team and Christ.

"It's kind of... complicated for me." Kate said awkwardly, casting around the hallway, blanching a little as she saw Mary striding this way.

A laugh echoed through the phone "Oh you mean because you're the Princess?"

Kate's stomach sunk, So he had known, she knew he had to have but to hear him say it was different. "Yeah, that complicates my life a lot actually."

Anthony hummed, "I wasn't really honest about myself last night either, but come to dinner with me, and I'll explain. This is going to sound a little insane but... Kate, I'm really glad we met last night and it's been a long time since I met someone that I felt like this with so I'm not really ready to let that go yet."

She could feel her heart pounding, He hadn't been honest about himself? What did that mean? Was he some sort of criminal? No, that didn't seem right, he'd seemed a lot like her, looking for something you shouldn't have been able to find in a dive bar. But it had felt like she'd found it anyway.

And she knew she really shouldn't but she couldn't help herself "Um... yeah okay. But just as a warning... I have to bring a guard with me this time, last night was... unusual for me."

"As long as you're there I don't care." She almost thought he might mean it.

"Can I at least know your last name before tonight?" She should at least know that much if she was going to sell this.

"Well, That seems fair. I'm Anthony Bridgerton."

_______

"Um... Mary?"

Mary looked up at her curiously at the end of their meeting with the Spanish Ambassador. "What's wrong?"

Kate blanched, "Um... nothing's wrong."

Mary raised her eyebrow, "Am I about to find out where you spent last night? Or with whom it was spent?"

"How do you-?"

"Darling, Sophie's a very good liar, but did you really think if I knew you were unwell I wouldn't have checked on you." Kate opened her mouth to give some excuse, to tell her that she hadn't spent the night being bent every which way, but Mary cut her off. "You're an adult, Kate. You can sleep with whoever you like. Do you need the morning after-?"

"Mary!" Kate hissed, looking around at Steve, politely looking in the other direction, obviously wishing he was anywhere but there. "We used protec- I'm not talking about this with you!"

Mary looked fairly unruffled, "Well Why did you bring it up then?"

"I didn't bring that up! I'm going out with him, tonight."

Mary frowned. "And his name is?"

Kate sighed, "Anthony Bridgerton."

Mary's mouth dropped open, "Viscount Anthony Bridgerton?"

Both of them stared at each other, surprised, Steve cleared his throat.

"I am not confirming that the address you were collected from this morning-" Kate avoided Mary's slightly impressed look "is the official residence of Viscount Bridgerton."

Well... Fuck.

__________

Kate could see him, through the window of the restaurant, no other patrons around, even more handsome than he had been last night. He was dressed a little more formally tonight, so was she she supposed, the dark grey plaid of his suit perfectly tailored, the purple of his waistcoat bright against it, the similar to her dress she realised with a small smile.

"We don't have to go in." Steve hummed quietly at her hesitation.

Kate smiled, "I think I will, You could take him right?"

He scoffed, "Please."

Kate swung the door open, watching as Anthony fumbled to his feet, his hand in his hair, adjusting his glasses.

"Kate, sorry... Your Royal Highness?" He seemed nervous here, so different than he'd been last night. Kate rolled her eyes, leaning in to kiss his cheek, a little thrilled at the way his breath caught.

"Kate's fine. Your royal Highness is a little formal for a date. I usually save it for the bedroom." Anthony choked as he pulled out her chair, sliding it in for her to sit.

She watched as he slid back around the table taking his own seat, "And you? Do you prefer Anthony or Lord Bridgerton?"

His eyes widened a little, "So you figured out my secret."

"I don't think it's much of a secret if my mother knows your mother."

His handsome smirk was back, "Did you tell your mum about me?"

Her lips twitched, "Did you tell your mum about me?"

He stared back at her, his eyes dancing in the low light. "I'd like to tell everyone about you, but for now I think I'll keep you to myself."

"There might not be anything to tell, if you don't feed me this time."

"Well, we wouldn't want that now would we?"

Kate groaned when she woke up the next morning, cushioned against Anthony's chest, his hands tangling in her hair, to three missed calls from sophie and a text that said Am I stopping this or not?

A picture of her and Anthony at Dinner, him whispering in her ear, his hand on her thigh, the headline Princess Kate on Steamy Date With Dishy Viscount

Kate hummed showing the article to Anthony a little embarrassedly, "Um... my team wants to know if this is something they should keep quiet for now. Like if this isn't going anywhere, or you don't want this to be-?"

Anthony cut her ff with a kiss, his tongue tangling with hers, his eyes soft. "I think that you should let it come out because... I don't really want to hide this, but if you'd rather not-"

Kate turned back to her phone typing out Let it go, and maybe start preparing to introduce the country to my new boyfriend.

#royals #royals au #this got very long #sorry about me #kathony #anthony x kate #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #kate sheffield #molly's asks and answers

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extremelyblackandwhite · 3 years

Note

madam carter baizen president, what about carter with the song traitor by olivia rodrigo?

pairing : carter baizen x reader

warnings : angst, carter is an asshole (sadly), reader is nate’s twin sister

inspired by traitor

you betrayed me and i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt. you'd talk to her when we were together. loved you at your worst but that didn't matter, it took you two weeks to go off and date her. guess you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor

She stood in the middle of the high end designer shop, thousands of girls from Constance moving up and down, picking and fighting for different dresses for one of the biggest events before graduation - Cotillion. As a carrier of the Archibald family name, the twin sister of Nate Archibald, Y/N’s RSVP was sent in her behalf before she even understood what it actually was. She didn’t mind doing it, she didn’t mind keeping up the traditions that her family was so overprotective yet she couldn’t say she particularly enjoyed them. She had to be truthful to herself and admit that she did not enjoy the idea of being presented to society as merely a stereotype of what her social status expected her to become. Maybe that was the dream for some girls, but it definitely wasn’t hers. Nevertheless, she had convinced herself to go, after all Rory Gilmore had gone and she had had a blast so why shouldn’t Y/N give it a go? Besides, if she even thought about not going, she was sure her mother would come from the wood work with her dramatic reasons as to why going to Cotillion was important, when it reality there was only one reason why it mattered - reputation.

- So, which one is yours? - her brother joked, looking away from where Blair was trying on her own dress. Y/N rolled her eyes, raising her hand where a black hanger was with her dress. - White? You’re trying to present yourself as virginal?

- One of us has to. - she bite back. - Besides, Rory wore white and I wanna wear white.

- You shouldn’t model your life after a sitcom, Y/N. It’s not gonna be nearly as fun as they portray it.

- I can always trip you while you’re dancing. That’ll be fun, huh?

- What’ll be fun will be seeing Carter Baizen escort you when mum and dad don’t even know you’re sneaking around with him.

- I’m not sneaking around and I told you I’m going alone. - she wasn’t lying. She’d become acquainted with Carter a few years ago and the two had become close friends, both sharing an ambition of travelling around the world, hiking high mountains and looking at the clearest seas but that’s where it ended. At least to him. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t have at least some sort of romantic interest in him. How could she not? He was a handsome man with the same ideals as her, who’d often flirt but she’d convinced herself it was just who he was. Yet, her hopes were always very high at whatever they had. He didn’t look at anyone else like he looked at her, he didn’t hug anyone else like he hugged her and after he left New York, she was the one who he’d still write to yet it never progressed to anything else. She’d rather have him as whatever they were so she could keep him. Of course, Nate was of a different opinion and believed the two were dating, just without the label. - Not everyone can take a Waldorf to Cotillion.

- You’re not going alone, Y/N. C’mon, we know so many people, so many guys who’d die to take you to Cotillion.

- It’s really not a big deal.

- You should just ask him. - Nate told her, before being dragged away by one of the tailors to fix his suit. She had to admit, she was rather keen on seeing her brother in a fitted grey suit.

After deciding there was no point in keeping in that store, hoping to find something else, she stepped outside, dress bag over her shoulder. It was a pretty dress and after all, who does not enjoy to be in a pretty dress and get free food and drink? She continued to walk down the street, mindlessly going through a checklist in her head of things she had to get sorted before Cotillion tonight. As her mind checked out invisible tasks, she spotted Carter just a bit down the street. A smile playfully etched on her cherry stained lips as she walked down to meet him.

- Hello stranger.

- Oh, hi princess. - his eyes moved from whatever he had been looking at to look at her, yet something was off. - What you got there? Body bag?

- Cotillion dress. Not as exciting. - his attention was scattered, eyes looking left and right as if he was looking out for something. - Are you ok, Carter?

- ‘Course I am. - he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, turning her the opposite way. - Excited for Cotillion?

- They always have great stuffed mushrooms and I do intend to have at least a whole tray just for myself.

- Who’s the poor bastard who’s taking you? Vanderbilt?

- He’s my cousin, Carter. Besides, I told you I am going by myself.

- And your mother allowed that?

- She doesn’t need to know.

- Sneaky. - he chuckled, stopping as her flat came into view.

- I wouldn’t have to be sneaky if you escorted me, Baizen. - she meant for it to sound as a joke, but as those words escaped her lips, she realised how oddly passive aggressive they sounded.

- You know it’s not my thing.

- I know. - she sighed. - I’m just being silly.

- I’ll take you for brunch tomorrow. We’ll discuss all the gossip that went on. You know the rules, the one with the best piece of gossip wins and the other one pays.

- You better bring your wallet, Baizen. - she opened the door of her building, bidding her goodbyes before quickly climbing up the stairs to get ready.

Sure, part of her wished he would escort her and be her date but he despised the idea of Cotillion more than she did and she wouldn’t want him to be uncomfortable the whole night. Besides, if she went alone, she probably would get to change her own introduction speech and make a splash for the family. No publicity is bad publicity, after all. As the sun set down, she was being rushed into the car by her mother, hair set with pearl strings all around which matched the ones that hanged from her earrings. She felt pretty, she had to admit. However, as she stepped into the limo where Blair and Nate was, she couldn’t help but imagine how things would’ve been if Carter had taken her. He would’ve brought her favourite lilies as a corsage, just as when he came back from Florence on her birthday and surprised her with a whole bouquet of white lilies and roses. He’d probably have his tie a bit too loose, as he always did whenever he was inevitably forced to wear one. They would dance the whole night to classical pieces. Yet, all these past tenses were merely ghosts in her brain and as they pulled in front of the building hosting Cotillion, she realised she was alone. He wasn’t here, he didn’t make it a priority to escorting her. But it was okay, she’d never want him to do something which would make him uncomfortable.

As per usual, they were fashionably late as Blair put it and were rushed to the big staircase. She’d seen it before with her cousins own cotillion ceremonies - two big staircases facing each other, one had all the girls and the other the boys. Normally, she’d be looking at whoever was escorting her but since she was about to be escorted by her own self, she merely looked at her own white shoes, contrasting with the gold gown Serena, who was in front of her, was wearing. As long as she didn’t trip or fall down the stairs, it would be fine.

- Escorting Serena van der Woodsen is Carter Baizen. - her eyes looked up as she wondered if her own tired brain was playing jokes on her. But it wasn’t.

They were there. He was here, in the centre, by Serena’s side, escorting her. The sound of the room all went quiet and all she could hear was the buzzing in her ears and her heart drop to her stomach. There were no thoughts in her brain and she didn’t seem to even acknowledge what was happening around her, all she felt was an overwhelming pain and her chest tightening.

- Next is Y/N Archibald, daughter of Howard and Anne Archibald, escorted by ... - she went down the stairs, standing in the centre by her self as she felt the whole world staring at her.

- Me. - she looked to her left to see Chuck Bass run down the stairs to stand by her side. - Sorry, I’m late.

- Thank you. - she mouthed to Chuck as they went down the stairs.

- He’s an ass. - Chuck said as they reached the floor. Immediately, Nate and Blair came over to her side. - I’ll stick around for when we have to dance.

- Thank you, Chuck.

- I thought you said he didn’t like these things. - Nate was mad, everyone with a pair of eyes could see it.

- Not now.

- Yes, now, Y/N. He humiliated you.

- He didn’t ... he’s just a traitor.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #carter baizen #carter baizen x you #carter baizen x reader #carter baizen x y/n #carter baizen imagine #carter baizen request

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lilysdaydreams · 3 years

Text

The Artist and The Musician

→ I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don’t think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.

→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader

→ Genre: Fluff.

→ Words: 5.6k

→ Request: Hey! It’s me again lmao I was curious maybe like sykunno or raes little sister (like 2 or 3 years younger) meets the group and her and corpse just click. How would either of them react to them hearing the news that their little sis is dating corpse and like they’ve moved in together and everything idk I thought it’d be cute💛

→ Warnings: Swearing.

→ Authors Note: Its been a hard couple of weeks and im really sorry that this took so long to be done but depression rlly hit me and I could barely move myself. I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, please comment some words of encouragement or feedback 💛

→ if you have some spare change , consider buying me a coffee.

You sighed as you finally dropped the last box in your new room, stretching to get rid of the pains in your back. Grabbing your phone, you moved over to Sykkunos room, knocking before sticking your head in.

"You want subway?" you asked when he looked up from the computer. He nodded with a quick smile, and as you closed the door behind you, you could hear him talking to the stream, letting them know that it was just his sister. Quickly ordering on Ubereats, you slumped on the sofa, closing your eyes and resting for a bit.

You had decided to move in with Sykkuno a month ago, the same week you'd decided to drop out of college. It wasn't something your parents were happy with, but after seeing how big your art and business had gotten, they had let you drop out. You'd dropped out and moved to LA, moving into an apartment with Sykkuno since he had to leave the OTV house. Sykkuno had moved in a week earlier which was why his room and computer was all set up. You'd only moved in today, spending a few weeks at home with your parents before leaving for LA. Stretching, you grabbed your phone, checking how long it would be until the food came, and then clicking on Instagram. Your most recent post was of this morning, a photo of you sitting on top of half the boxes in your room, throwing a peace sign at the camera. Sykkuno had taken it for you, the whole process taking 10 minutes cuz you made him take it at 45 different angles. Scrolling through the comments, you liked a few, replying to the ones by your best friends.

@selinaissss: "HOW DARE YOU LOOK THIS PERFECT AT 8 IN THE MORNING????"

→ @junefarie: i look like a racoon dont u dare

@onlyalyssa: "we need a house tour"

→ @junefarie: bitch I dont even have a bed yet

You grabbed the subway order when the bell rang, saying a quick thank you to the delivery man. You left yours on the table, and went to Sykkunos room, yelling "Sykkuno catch!" before throwing it at him, giggling as he leapt forward from his chair to catch it. Closing the door softly behind you, you jumped onto the couch, sitting cross-legged, grabbing your sketchbook and pencils from your backpack and setting them on your lap. It was time to wind down a bit.

It was a week later and you had unpacked fully, now focusing more on creating new pieces of art for a shop update. You were also working on some designs specifically for shirts and hoodies. Sykkuno found you in front of your computer, blanket wrapped around you and glasses perched on your nose as you emailed the manufacturer you were working with for the hoodies.

"Un, y/n?" he said hesitantly knocking on the door. You spun around in your chair, raising your eyebrows at him. "What's up?"

He walked in, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed and you got your water from the table, taking a sip as you wait for him to talk.

"I um- You know how I- I play Among Us right?" he asked, scratching his neck.

You hummed in response, urging him on with a nod. Sykkuno was almost never this nervous around you. Most of the time, you guys talked normally, joking and teasing each other. For him to be stuttering around you, he must have been extremely nervous.

"Well, you know Rae right? She um, she asked me to make a lobby," he said, standing up and pacing now. You furrowed your brows, confused as to where this was going.

He was explaining what a lobby was (which what the fuck, you watched his streams, of course you knew what a lobby was, why was he explaining that) when you cut him off, getting up and grabbing his shoulders to stop him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked, holding his shoulders with both your hands.

He sighed and slumped into you, his head coming to a rest on your shoulder.

"Rae asked me to make a lobby and it's the first time I've ever made one and I'm really nervous about it. I've already invited people, but um I was wondering if you wanted to join as well? I- It would help me to have you there." he muttered, the words muffled as he spoke into your shoulder.

"Me?" you asked, a little shocked because you had never played among us before.

He nodded against your shoulder.

"Um sure!" you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, "It'll be fun!"

"And hey," you added on when he didn't say anything after that, "I can meet all your friends as well!"

He finally lifted his head a little, smiling as he muttered out a quick "Thanks y/n."

"However," you added, jumping back onto your seat and wiggling your eyebrows at him. "You have to buy me pizza for tonight's dinner."

He chuckled, grabbing his phone and already mutterng the order to himself as he opened up the ubereats app and walked out of the room.

You turned back to the laptop humming a tune under your breath. From interactions like this, most people would probably assume that you were older but the truth was that Sykkuno was 5 years older than you. Your roles were reversed and you were probably more protective over him than anyone else. Once in high school a girl had called him cute and asked him for his number only to write it on the bathroom walls. After the first three prank calls, you'd taken the phone from him yelling at anyone who called that if they called again, that you'd personally track them down and shove a dildo up their ass.

Both of you had always been close, but with the amount of bullying and teasing he got in high school, you'd got even closer, eventually becoming his best friend in a way. Seeing Sykkuno grow as a person, get new friends who were genuinely nice and kind made you the happiest person alive. When Sykkuno had first started streaming you'd been worried, scared that people online would say something mean. When he had first started streaming with other streamers and then met Lily and all his other friends, you had been anxious, worrying that they might only be putting up a friendly facade. You were also the happiest though when he grew even closer to them, when he smiled more, laughed more, talked more.

You had yet to meet or talk to any of his friends, mostly because you'd been in college, and the pandemic had made it harder. Maybe it was finally time.

The day came and you sat in your room, once again a blanket wrapped around you, glasses perched on your nose as you accepted the discord invite Sykkuno sent you.

"DO I GO IN THE CHAT THINGY?" you yelled to Sykkuno, hearing a "YES" before clicking on the voice chat.

You mumbled a "hello", wondering if your mic was on.

"Hey, yeah I can hear you y/n."

Breathing a sigh of relief, you logged into the game, smiling as you heard sykkuno introduce you to his chat. "Hi everyone," you said, feeling a bit weird only talking to a screen. You rubbed your hands, a little nervous to be doing this.

Just then someone else joined and before you could even speak another three people joined as well, all of them yelling hello as they joined.

"He- Hey guys, how's everyone doing?" started sykkuno.

"Im doing great oh my god, guess what guys, I'm-" started Rae, cutting herself off. "wait, whos um "ms snores a lot"?

You were a bit confused for a second, furrowing you eyebrows for a second before realising what had happened.

"SYKKUNO YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK?" you yelled, staring at the name underneath the voice channel that you now realised belonged to you. You could hear Sykkunos laughter from the other room but you just spluttered indignantly. He was the one who had set up everything on your computer yesterday because technology was something that you rarely messed around with.

"Sykkunooo" you whined, when he kept laughing, "How the fuck do I change it now?"

"Um wait, sykkuno who is this?" asked Rae, the other three echoing her. You glanced at the names and from the voices figured out that it was Rae, Toast, Sean and Corpse in the lobby.

"Hey okay, so guys this is my sister, her names y/n and we recently moved in together, so I asked her to be in the lobby because... um.." he said stuttering at the end to find a reason.

"Because he wanted to embarrass me apparently!" you exclaimed, giving him a way out.

"Oh god, um - you can change it in settings, at the bottom near where your name is."

"Ahhh," you said finding it and then simply typing in your art business name.

"Its nice to meet everyone by the way," you started. "I've been watching your videos for ages so it almost fels like I already know you"

Raes voice started in your ears and you winced at the volume befoe turning it down a bit.

"I would love to say that Sykkuno has told us a lot about you, but the truth is that he keeps a lot of secrets and I didnt even know he had a sister, I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW"

You gasped. "Sykkuno what the fuck, you didn't even tell Rae?"

"You told me not to tell a lot of people!" he protested.

You heard someone saying "they're so different!' but you ignored it and kept talking.

"Yeah at the start! and on stream! I can't believe you never even said you had a sister." you spluttered out, followed by another gasp.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" you whispered dramatically.

"N-What no of course not!" he exclaimed, and you could also imagine how wide his eyes would have gotten.

You giggled before telling him that you were only joking.

"Um since sykkuno is embarrassed of me," you said jokingly, "I'll just tell you myself."

"I'm like five years younger than sykkuno, I'm a June baby, I do art, my star sign is cancer, I'm 5'4, I recently moved in with sykkuno, and my favourite colour is purple!"

"Oh is that why your username is junefarie? Because you were born in June?" asked Sean.

Before you could say yes, someone else cut in.

"Wait, junefarie?" asked corpse, "like the artist?"

Your eyes widened as you realised that he knew you. Sure you had quite a few followers, but you never expected any of Sykkunos friends to know you from there.

"Um yeah," you said letting out a shocked laugh, "I didnt expect anyone here to know about me."

"Dude, your art is fire!" he exclaimed, voice louder now. "I was honestly thinking of buying a piece soon, I've followed you for ages!"

"Wait, I wanna see as well." whined Rae, "Ima look you up, are you on Instagram?"

"Um," you said still shocked by the fact that somone this big knew you. "yeah I'm on instagram, its just junefarie." you said first replying to Rae, "Um corpse, thankyou so much! thats so nice of yo!"

"Um my art isn't that great yet," you chuckled, embarrassed by all the attention now. "I'm hoping to improve a lot more and I have a bunch of ideas for it as well. I'm hoping to work more now that I moved in with Sy."

"Oh my god, this is amazing," whispered Rae, Toast and Sean echoing her. You ducked your head even though no one could see you. Your cheeks were blazing hot and you pressed your hands to them to cool yourself down.

"Thankyou," you mumbled, not sure what to say.

Someone else entered the lobby, and said "hi" and you welcomed the source of distraction.

"Hi! I'm Sykkunos sister, y/n!" you said , wanting to move away from the topic of your art.

The reply of "sykkuno has a SISTER?" made everyone laugh, successfully moving the attention to Sykkuno and off your art. Finally Sykkuno started the game and you breathed as you lost yourself in the art of gaming.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Rae as the game ended and everyone appeared in the lobby. "That was like amazing, Y/N I cant belive you pulled that off!"

She was talking about the last game where there was 50/50 between corpse and Sykkuno (because you refused to kill sykkuno when you were imposter) and you somehow managed to convince Sykkuno that it was Corpse.

"Honestly, neither can I!" you exclaimed back staring at your screen, eyes blurring the screen because of how tired you were.

"I can't believe Sykkuno," mumbled corpse. "I literally said I saw her vent and kill toast and Sykkuno was still like "hmmm, I don't think so."

Giggling at Sykkunos yell of "SHES MY SISTER" you yelled out a bye as everyone started leaving and then struggled to find a way to end the call.

"Wait, how do I end it," you muttered to yourself.

You jumped as Corpse talked, not expecting anyone to be there.

"You can see yoru name at the bottom left right? Its above that but a little to the right." he said chucling a little.

"Oh." you said, you cheeks heating up. You didnt know if it was because of him or because you were utterly useless with technology.

"Um thankyou," you said awkwardly.

"No problem."

You exited out of the call, a small smile at your lips.

Sykkunos friends were nice.

After the stream, your fanbase grew, and with it, the number of orders as well. For the next week, you were buried under orders, only leaving the house to go to the post office.

An Instagram post on @junefarie account:

[ID: A photo of y/n and sykkuno standing in the middle of the living room, packages scattered everywhere. Y/n is hugging Sykkuno tight and Sykkuno is staring at the camera, a distressed look on his face.]

Caption: Thankyou so much for all my supporters and all the love shown to me. Sending out loads of orders and I cant wait for you gusy to get yours! Special thanks to @sykkuno for helping me send out orders. luv yu.

Comments:

@Sykisacutie: best sibling duo!

@valkyrae: hope my order is in their as well.

→ I SCREAMED WHEN SY TOLD ME THAT WAS YOUR NAME.

@corpse_husband: sykkuno looks like he's accepted death.

→ @sykkuno: I would have welcomed death at that point

→ @corpse_husband @sykkuno: okay ill be honest, I would have welcomed death as well.

@ariesin: go best friend, go! we need to get together to paint soon !!

→ SOONNNNNN

You flopped onto your bed, every part of your body hurting. Carrying boxes filled with orders down the stairs had tired your whole body, which wasn't used to any exercise at all. That had taken practically the whole day and then you had to clean your room because the mess from the orders had barely left any room to move. You flung your hand to the side, grabbing your phone from the table and bringing it up to your face. The "1:02" was clearly visible on your screen and you unlocked the phone, heading to Twitter. Scrolling through your feed, you liked a few tweets from friends before gearing yourself up and moving to the messages. Ever since you'd played with Corpse, Sykkuno and everyone, you'd been getting a lot of messages. Most of them were just the streamers fans, asking you if you know them or telling you to take care of sykkuno. There were a few though that targeted you, telling you that your art sucked, that they didn't know why Corpse could like my art. You'd taken to deleting them before sleeping so that your inbox wouldn't get cluttered and you could still find any serious requests or messages from your followers. Therefore, you didn't really think anything of it when there was another message from someone with a Corpse icon and you clicked on it only to see the message and gasp, immediately sitting up in bed.

Corpse_Husband → Hey, I was wondering if I could work with you on something? I really love your art and was wanting to commission or collaborate for an album cover or some merch designs. Message me on this number cuz I barely see my dms.

Underneath was a number.

"Oh my god," you whispered, unsure as to what to do.

When you had decided to drop out of college, you had expected hard days. You had expected your normal orders and mostly just improving your art and marketing it more. You had expected long days and not much money in the bank account. You certainly had not expected the immense amount of orders you'd gotten. Along with that, the amount of love and support had taken you by surprise and you had spent the last night crying because of how much love you and your art were getting.

You had also not expected such a big opportunity just landing at your feet.

Quickly you clicked on the number, putting it in your contacts with the name Corpse and then writing a quick message.

"Hey I got your twitter dm! I've personally never done art for merch or album covers but I would love the opportunity!"

You bit your lip, confused as to whether that was enough before deciding it was fine and just sent it.

Your heart beat a little faster as you slumped back onto the bed.

@junefarie Instagram story:

[ID: A zoomed-in picture of a drawing, the only part that was visible was curly hair. The text read: "Working on something SO COOL"]

Your phone was ringing. Stuffing the rest of the pizza in your mouth, you swept your hand over the covers of your bed, trying to find it. With a muttered "aha", you grabbed it and swiped on the call before it ended. Pressing the phone to your ear, you mumbled a "hello", still chewing the pizza bite.

A low rapsy voice came out of the speaker, one that you definitely didn't expect. You choked on the pizza, coughing out pieces onto the bed. Sure you guys had messaged each other a bit (you kinda had to because of the commission), but you hadn't expected him to call out of nowhere.

"Um I hope this isn't a bad time," he said when you didn't respond for a second. Of course, he didn't exactly know that hearing his voice so close to your ear had you frozen for a second.

"Um no," you replied, coughing slightly to clear your throat. "It's fine! What did you wanna talk about?"

"Oh, um I know you're already working on the commission and its looking great! I can't wait to work with the merch team to create something really cool with it, but um-" he broke off for a second sounding hesitant. "I really wanna get another commission done as well."

"Oh?" you said after a second when he didn't reply. "I'd be happy to do another one for you!"

"Uh yeah, but I'm afraid that I might be a bit late, You see I was wondering if it could be done before Christmas?"

You sucked in a breath as you counted the days in your mind.

"Hmm, it depends on how big it is tbh. There's still 2 weeks to go till Christmas so I could fit it in," you mumbled, biting your lip as you remembered the onslaught of orders you still had to send out.

"Well," he started and you smiled a little as the excitement crept into his voice. "You know that Sykkuno, Rae, Toast and me are called the 4 Amigops right? I kinda wanted a portrait of all 4 of us, in our um among us colors, and I basically wanted to print it out and send to each of them for Christmas."

"Aww, that sounds like such a good idea, I'm sure they'll all love it!" you smiled, thinking about how much Sykkuno would appreciate that.

"Uh thanks," he mumbled, "do you think you can get it done?"

"Sure!" you replied immediately. You did have a lot of orders, yes, but like, you could fit Corpse in. If you pulled a few all-nighters. "I'll send you the sketches soon okay?"

"Oh thank god, thankyu so much for this y/n, I really appreciate it. Youre one of my favourite artists and I'm really happy that I could finally commisison you after so long."

"So long?" you questioned. "Since when have you known about my art?"

There was a moment of silence and then "Um, around the time you still posted your sketches and stuff I guess?"

You furrowed your eyebrows thinking for a second before letting out a gasp.

"Corpse that was 4 years ago!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, oh my god, I cant believe you've seen those, I was so bad then!"

"No no, they were really good at that time as well! I was so shocked when Sykkuno told us you were his sister because like, I'd been following you for ages and I had absolutely no idea. You guys are like really different."

"Hah yah, Sykkunos so soft, and then there's me. An actual devil."

"Your usernames so different as well! I remember when I first saw a picture of you on your account and I was kind of shocked because based on the name junefarie, I was expecting someone very soft I guess but then you were literally the opposite and wearing actual devil horns."

"Oh god, that was one of the first few photos I posted of myself. that was on Halloween I think,", you took a deep breath still shocked that Corpse had known about you for that long,

"Yeah, I chose junefarie because...”

It was 2 hours later when Corpse said that he should probably be working on his music.

"Oh I'm so sorry," you apologized, "I didn't mean to keep you,"

"Oh no, I um, I liked talking to you."

Your breath caught for a moment and you smiled like a lunatic at your Pokémon covered bedsheets.

"I liked talking to you as well," you whispered out, heart sinking a little as you realized the call would be ending soon.

"Um, do you, maybe want to stay on call? like I'll just be writing and we can just chill?" he asked and you felt like your prayers had been answered.

"yes" you said quickly, not giving him a chance to back out.

He chuckled, and you fell in love a little.

Just a little.

You continued like that, calling each other every few days, talking so much and then at times, not talking at all, simply content with each others company.

He had even started facetiming you, the first time with a mask and then the second without it. You hadn't made a big deal about it, but the first time you saw him, you could barely breathe.

There were five days left until Christmas when you got the idea.

You were entirely not subtle about it, because, well to be honest, there wasn't a subtle bone in your body.

"Hey Corpse, do you like surprises?" you had asked, in the middle of colouring Raes hair (her hair was the last thing left before you could finally print the goddamn thing)

"It depends," he had murmured after a second, voice sending shivers down your spine like every time. Now whether that was because of his voice or because of him, you weren't entirely sure.

"on what?" you prodded when he refused to answer.

"On whether its a good one or a bad one" he had huffed out.

You had hummed, waited for a second and then blurted out that next question because you did not have a cent of patience.

"So what are you doing at Christmas?"

"Sleeping, if I can manage it," he replied, his voice taking on a sardonic tone, eyes flicking to you on the screen. The only thing he could see though was the top of your head because you had your iPad on the bed and were laying over it as you drew.

"Not with that attitude you aren't," you replied right back, making a small smile appear across his face.

"Hmmm, okay!" you said when he didn't reply.

He looked back over, eyebrows furrowed and mouth opening as he started to question you.

"Hey did you see the video I sent you?" you quickly asked distracting him from his question.

He would probably guess the surprise but that was okay. You only wanted to make a smile appear on his face. And honestly, for someone with anxiety, a small warning of a surprise was definitely needed.

It was Christmas day and you woke Sykkuno up at 6 in the morning with the promise that you'd buy him McDonald's. 30 minutes later, you were both in the car, yelling the lyrics to "All I want for Christmas" at the top of your lungs.

You had told sykkuno of your plan a few days ago and he had smiled at you with that stupid smile, agreeing with a small "alright."

You'd immediately realised that he knew. Even though you pretended otherwise, Sykkuno was the older one and the thing about older siblings was that they always knew.

They always knew.

So there you were, snacks loaded into your car, McDonald's fries practically everywhere, and a cake you had made in the backseat, on your way to Corpses house.

There was a lull in the music, and you were only 30 minutes away from his place, butterflies fluttering in your stomach when Sykkuno asked you a question.

"You like him right?" he murmured, head leaning against the window, eyes closed.

There was a moment of silence as you thought about what to say. Did you like Corpse? Of course, you liked Corpse! He was funny, he was nice, he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered and your heart beat faster than ever whenever he looked at you. Hell, that was through a screen, in real life, it would probably be even worse. So of course you liked him! The question was, did he like you back?

"Yeah," you answered Sykkuno, eyes straight on the road.

A second passed and then he smiled. "Good," he replied. and well. That was that. You sighed.

At least you had your brothers blessing.

Pulling into the apartment building, you breathed in, your heart beating a million times a second and the butterflies in your stomach had turned into snakes. Maybe, maybe this wasn't a good idea at all. I mean, you expected Corpse to get the hint but what if he didn't? and what if he didn't want you to come? Maybe you were being too quick. After all, It'd only been a month since you'd met.

These thoughts plagued your mind as you trudged up the stairs, turning to Sykkuno as you reached the door.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come," you whispered to him.

He looked at you, eyebrows high, "We just travelled two hours to get here. There's no way im going back without at least giving him the print."

"What if he doesn't want us to be here?" you hissed.

"Then we'll go away." he stated, "after we give him the print."

"But what if-"

Before you could even finish your sentence, the door opened and you both jumped, turning to face the person standing in the doorway.

You forced yourself to breathe as you finally saw him. It was him. Wearing a black beanie, half his hair spilling out the sides, stubble clear on his chin... it was him. At that moment, there was only one thought in your mind.

You were gonna marry this man.

"You suck at whispering," he said, and you huffed out a laugh, jumping onto him without even responding. You wrapped your arms around him, not letting go until Sykkuno cleared his throat from behind you.

You turned back immediately, grabbing the stuff in Sykkunos hands so he could greet Corpse too. As they awkwardly did their handshake/fistbump thing, you walked over to the couch behind them, putting down the print and the takeaway bags, and putting the cakebox down on the table.

You turned around to see them both standing there staring at you.

"Surprise?" you said when no one else spoke. That broke the ice a little and you grabbed the print from the couch thrusting it at Corpse.

"Open it. Open it. Open it." you mumbled, your heart beating fast as he carefully ripped the paper off. The smile that overtook his face made your heart immediately calm.

"It's beautiful," he whispered, eyes roaming everywhere, trying to take it all in. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head further into the apartment, mumbling that he was going to put it in the room, eyes still on the print as he walked there.

"You smile is gonna blind me," muttered Sykkuno.

"Oh shut up."

A few hours later, you stood in the kitchen, putting the leftover cake into Corpses fridge. You had all chilled, eating cake and the takeout that you and sykkuno had bought, laughing every few minutes. It felt like you were all on an adrenaline rush. You had facetimed Rae and Toast, Rae shrieking when she realised where you guys were. Sykkuno had just fallen into a nap, still tired from being wakened up so early, you assumed.

You leaned against the kitchen bench, smiling as Corpse walked in.

"Thankyou." he said as he came to a stop next to you, matching your position.

"For what?" you mused, even though you had a good enough idea.

"For the print. For coming here. For making my Christmas, a much happier affair than it has been my whole life." he stated, chuckling at the last point.

You turned your head sideways, and you didn't know what it was, but something about his face made you spurn into action. You grabbed his collar, pulled him down, and kissed him before he could even say anything. It would be too cliche to say that fireworks erupted. And if you were being honest they didn't. Instead, it felt like everything was finally right. You fit perfectly in his arms as they wrapped themselves around you, and you smiled into the kiss as he lifted you up, making you sit at the counter. You twirled the hair at the nape of his neck with your left hand, taking a deep breath in as you both slowed down and pulled away.

"Well," he whispered, "that was unexpected."

You raised a single eyebrow. Honesty you'd done a lot for this relationship. You just drove for nearly 3 hours! If he wanted it to progress, he was gonna have to say it himself.

"But not unwelcome," he continued when you didn't speak. A moment passed, where you could see that he was psyching himself up to say something. Finally, with a heaving sigh, he whispered "Darling, would you do me the honour of being called yours?"

You melted right there.

A nod was all he needed before he grabbed your lips with his again, both of you giggling when he accidentally hit the side of your mouth instead of the lips.

The sound of a picture being taken filled the air, making you spring apart and swing your heads over to the doorway, which had sykkuno leaning against it, his phone in his hand.

"Thank god. Rae and Toast bet that you wouldn't confess until after Christmas, so now they both owe me 20 bucks." he said, now fiddling on the phone. "Dont worry Corpse, I'll add a circle over your face or something."

Your mouth dropped open as you stared at your brother.

"You bet on my love life?" you scoffed, still shocked.

At his nod though, you swung off the bench, marching until you were eye to eye to him.

"I want half the winnings."

Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the living room, jumping onto the sofa.

"C'mon, let's watch one more episode before heading back," he said and you jumped in next to him, patting the space next to you as Corpse came in behind you.

You grabbed Sykkunos hand and squeezed it, letting him know that you were grateful that he didn't make it such a big deal. Leaning your head on corpses shoulder, you smiled to yourself.

You'd have to leave in 30 minutes, to drive back to your parents and spend the rest of Christmas with them, leaving Corpse behind. And that made you a bit sad sure, but it couldn't overpower the feeling of pure happiness at being here. At giving him a happier Christmas. You smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

Nothing could overpower this feeling of absolute happiness.

fin.

Corpse husband taglist: @mythicalamphitrite @ramble-writes @atsumubabe @anxiouskat5646 @itssierramcquade @xaestheticalien @jotaroslightning @starstruckllamapuppy @gxldenskiez @shinyshimaagain @cavanana @fee-btheweeb (send an ask to be added!)

#corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse husband fanfiction #sykkunos sister #sykkuno fanfic #hope you enjoy #love yous

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bwbatta · 3 years

Text

The one where your secret gets harder to keep (2)

Abstract: Y/N and Sirius have been friends since they first met on the Hogwarts Express, so when they do get together, they decide not to tell their friends straight away. (Friends AU)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Lupin!Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4.1K

A/N: Are we all ready for part two?! I won’t lie, I can’t believe how quickly I wrote this.

Sirius had barely made himself his morning cup of tea before the fireplace flushed with green flames and his best mate walked out into his lounge.

“Prongs, what do I owe the pleasure of your visit at... 10am?! You couldn’t have come a bit later, mate?”

“I thought this was later.” James shrugged, taking a seat on the sofa. Sirius poured another mug of tea, handing it to James as he took the armchair opposite. “It’s about your recent greeting method.”

“My greeting method?”

“Yeah, you and all your... kissing. Stop it.”

Sirius couldn’t help the bubble of laughter which escaped his mouth. Obviously he hadn’t planned on kissing Lily and Marlene, but just the fact James was so wound up about it made the wizard grin.

“My kissing?”

“Pads-”

“No, Prongs, please go on, what about my kissing.” Sirius relaxed back into the armchair taking a sip of his tea. “Are you... jealous?”

“Padfoot-”

“Because if you don’t want me to leave you out of all my kissing, then all you have to do is ask.”

“Sirius I don’t want you bloody kissing me! Or Lily for that matter.”

The laughter which escaped Sirius was loud enough for Remus to exit his own room to investigate what had the man so amused.

“Prongs? What’s going on?”

“Prongsie is jealous I’m not kissing him,” Sirius snickered which caused James to throw a cushion at his face.

“Fuck off Pads.” James rolled his eyes. “I just want you to stop kissing my wife.”

“It was one kiss Prongs, I was trying something out.” Sirius chuckled. “But note taken, I’ll stop kissing Lily.”

“And Y/N too if you don’t mind.” Remus said taking the seat next to James. “I don’t like seeing you make out with my sister.”

“So I can kiss, Mar?” Sirius grinned as both men shot him an unamused look. “Alright fine, no more kissing the girls in front of you.”

Lily and Marlene anyway, Sirius thought to himself.

The fireplace flashed again with green flames and Peter stepped out into the room.

“Wormy, where’ve you been?!” James grinned in greeting as Peter took the other armchair after declining a cup of tea from Remus.

“Some Order mission Dumbledore sent me and the Prewett twins on. Apparently we’re going to recap it at the meeting today.”

“Anything interesting happen?” Remus asked.

“Nothing much, something odd but the twins know more about it than I do.”

The four boys continued their little catch up, including Sirius telling Peter about how James was jealous he’s kissed his wife and not him, which earned him another cushion to the face.

Before long, the small group had finished their tea and were exiting the flat through the fireplace as they appeared in the Order headquarters. The headquarters were set up at the witch, Emmeline Vance’s home.

Seeing the girls already present, the foursome of boys made their way over towards their friends and took their seats. Sirius took the seat next to you and through his arm around the back of your chair.

“You alright?” You asked him.

“Prongs appeared this morning demanding I stop kissing you girls. Remus agreed of course.” Sirius whispered to you which caused you to grin.

“Oh yeah?! What did you say to that?!”

“I said I’d stop kissing the girls in front of them, I never said anything about behind their backs.”

You snorted quietly at his reply as Dumbledore walked in, greeting everyone present. Most of the Order were there apart from the select few who were still on missions.

The room quietened drastically as everyone waited for Dumbledore to speak.

“Welcome back, I thought it would be about the right time to check in with everyone.” Dumbledore began before turning his attention to the twins and Peter. “Mr Prewetts’ and Mr Pettigrew, how was the search up at Little Hangleton?”

“There was not much magical energy around the town, Professor, but there was definitely some.” Fabian began before Gideon took over.

“The house which you told us to look for was still being kept though. Someone pays for a caretaker of the property.”

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment as he assessed the information.

“Had anyone seen anything odd? Anyone seen lurking around recently which could be connected to Riddle?”

“No, any that did may have been obliviated though.” Peter answered as the Prewett twins nodded in agreement.

Gideon Prewett caught your eye for a moment before both of you looked away from each other. The two of you had dated throughout school for a while despite your differing years. Gideon had been a year ahead of you at Hogwarts, but both being in Gryffindor gave opportunity to run into each other more than once.

As your eyes directed away from Gideon, they landed on a newcomer to the Order. You couldn’t deny the man was attractive, his dark hair and dark skin looking almost flawless.

A nudge came from beside you as Marlene grinned at you.

“His name’s Gerard Warbeck.” She whispered to you. “He’s supposedly related to the singer, Celestina Warbeck, you know?”

“Really? How old is he?”

“A few years older than us, I think he was in Ravenclaw.”

You didn’t say anything else but quickly averted your eyes as his attention flicked to you. Not wanting to look back at him if he was still staring at you, you kept your eyes firmly on Dumbledore who had began talking again.

Sirius watched as the man across from where you sat, trailed his eyes over you with a slight smile after he caught you staring at him. As his eyes moved to Sirius, he was met with a strong stare as Sirius glared him down.

He didn’t know what it was about the man, but Sirius didn’t like him. Something felt off and Sirius swore to himself it had absolutely nothing to do with the way he was admiring you just moments previously.

Between the two of you, you managed to make it though another month without any more slip ups. Guaranteed there were some close calls but your secret remained as such; a secret.

With Dumbledore sending more and more of you out on Order missions, it gave both Sirius and you the chance to have your flats to yourself if Marlene or Remus were called out.

The current order mission which you were now sat through was coming to an end as you sat with Marlene, Sirius and Lily.

“Hey,” the blonde whispered from beside you, “I’ve got a surprise for you after this, you’re going to be so proud of me.”

“I’m almost scared to ask what it is.”

“I got us a double date with your admirer and his friend.” Marlene grinned. “They wanna take us out Saturday night. What do you say?!”

“Um...” Your eyes flicked to the side casually where Sirius sat next to you, whispering to Lily on his other side. “I don’t think so.”

“What?” Marlene whispered back, a thoroughly confused expression on her face. “Why not? He’s been eye-flirting with you for weeks! Give me one good reason why you don’t want to go.”

You were suddenly very aware of Sirius’ arm around the back of your chair.

Presented with the situation months ago before Lily and James’ wedding, you would’ve jumped at the opportunity, yet you couldn’t help but feel happy with what you had with Sirius at the moment.

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel like it.”

“Well stop it, you’re coming with me to talk to him after the meetings finished, which looks like it’ll be soon. Moody always begins his ‘constant vigilance’ speech just before we wrap up.”

True to her word, the meeting ended soon after and before you knew what was happening, your roommate had grabbed your arm and yanked you across the room to face Gerard.

Throwing a panicked look behind you to Sirius and Lily, the former couldn’t help but feel uneasy as you approached your admirer.

“Hey, Gerard,” Marlene greeted him, “I thought I’d actually introduce you to your date for this Saturday?!”

“I was beginning to wonder if we would every actually talk,” he grinned at you. “I’m Gerard, but I’m now realising Marlene would’ve already told you that.”

“She maybe mentioned it.” You chuckled slightly. “I’m Y/N, though I think she’s already introduced me before I even met you.”

“That she did.”

Across the room, Sirius was scowling at the man who was currently talking to you. He didn’t like the way he was looking at you.

“Hey, who’s Y/N and Mar talking to?” He asked Lily.

“Oh, that’s Gerard Warbeck, apparently he’s taking out Y/N and Mar on a double date this weekend.”

“So, they’re going on a date with the guy?”

“Not both of them,” Lily laughed whist grabbing her jacket from the back of her seat, “Mar set up Y/N with him whilst he set Mar up with his mate.”

Lily and Sirius dropped the subject as Marlene and you arrived back to join them, Marlene looking a lot more excited than you did.

“Ready to go?” The blonde asked the small group, before Lily and her moved towards the door. Yet, Sirius and you didn’t budge.

“Hey, is Remus back from his mission with James yet?” You asked.

“Not yet, they’re due back tomorrow.”

“Think we could head over to yours for a bit? I think there’s something you should know.”

Sirius couldn’t help but scoff and roll his eyes at you slightly.

“Oh, is this about you, dating Warbeck?” Sirius asked grabbing his own jacket from the chair. “Because Lily already mentioned that and I’m absolutely fine with you going out with him. I mean, you and I, we’re just messing around, we’re nothing so.”

Sirius began to head towards the door before stopping when he realised you weren’t following him.

“I mean, I was going to tell you I was going to get out of it and reject him when Mar wasn’t around, but hey, if we’re just messing around, maybe I will go out with him.”

“Maybe you should.” Sirius shrugged as you pinned him with a look before your gaze shifted to the very man you were talking about.

“Hey, thought I could walk you out?” Gerard asked as he shot you a smile. Turning to Sirius, he held out a hand. “Hey, I’m Gerard.”

“Sirius.” Sirius hesitated for a split second before he moved to shake Gerard’s hand. He made sure to grip his hand tightly through the handshake, enough for Gerard to wince slightly before laughing it off.

“Strong grip you’ve got. Yeah I remember you from Hogwarts, you turned the teacher’s table into jelly that one time.”

“Yeah, that was one of our better ones.” Sirius nodded with a forced grin before turning to you. “I’ll catch you later.”

Without so much as another word, he turned and walked out the room leaving the two of you behind.

After Gerard had walked you out, he wished you goodbye before apparating away. Noticing all of your friends had already gone, you quickly did the same by apparating to the front door to your flat.

What you hadn’t expected however, was for Sirius to be leant against the wall outside.

“What are you doing here?”

“Are you really going to go out with him?”

You took a moment to study him before reaching into your jacket pocket to find your key.

“Well you and I are just messing around so I thought, why not mess around with him?”

Despite having your key out, you didn’t make a move to unlock your door or let yourself in. Partly because you were sure Marlene was already back and partly because you were interested in what Sirius had to say.

Running a hand through his hair, Sirius opened his mouth a few times to say something before stopping himself. Finally he had decided on something and stepped forward from the wall towards you.

“I mean, I don’t know if you’ve looked up the term ‘messing around’ in the dictionary lately but the definition is two friends, who care a lot about each other.” He shrugged one shoulder, taking another step closer to you as he rested his hands on your waist. “Who have amazing sex, and just want to spend more time together yanno?”

“Oh, really now?”

“Yep. But if you’ve got this new definition where it’s not that, I think that we should just stick with a definition we both know.” You couldn’t help the snort of laughter as Sirius wrapped his arms further around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “...Are we okay?”

“I guess so.” You smiled at him as one of his hands moved from your waist to cup your face.

“I just, I like what we’ve got going.” Sirius shrugged, “I wouldn’t want to lose that with you.”

“I like what we’ve got too.” You smiled, pulling him in for a kiss. “So... your place?”

Sirius never apparated the two of you away quicker.

You were laid out on your bed wearing the skimpiest underwear you owned as you waited for Sirius to floo in.

Marlene was due to be out visiting her family again which gave you both the perfect opportunity to use the flat whilst she wasn’t there. However, as your bedroom door opened with a slight knock, the person who walked in wasn’t Sirius by any means, but your blonde roommate.

With a shriek, Marlene covered her eyes as she quickly exited your room out into the living room.

“Y/N!” You quickly grabbed your dressing robe and wrapped it round you, following after her with a sheepish expression on your face. “What the hell!”

“I’m sorry! I was... taking a nap!”

“Since when do you take naps in that position!” Marlene stared at you for a moment before something clicked and she suddenly gasped. “Oh Merlin, please tell me you were waiting for a guy!”

“Yes. Yes!” You replied quickly, trying to think up something to tell the girl. “I’m seeing a guy!”

“Wait, I thought you turned down Gerard? Is it someone different?!” Marlene questioned.

“Yep, someone different! Completely different. Someone I met out.”

“Ohhh is he the cute one that works at the Ministry that we constantly bump into?!”

“Yep! Thats him!”

The blonde’s face suddenly lit up as she grinned at you widely.

“Oh Merlin, right, let me get out of your hair then! I’ll just grab my jacket real quick so you can get down to business!” Quickly heading to her room, she grabbed the closest jacket and started to head towards the fireplace. “But, when I get back, I want every detail and I mean every detail. Merlin knows my love life is as dry as Peter’s hair.”

The fireplace flushed with green light and as Marlene turned to send you a promiscuous look, which dropped as soon as she turned round to see Remus and James entering.

“Oh, it’s you, what are you guys doing here?”

“Lily sent us to pick up something from you girls. She said she left it in a box and you’d know what it was.” Remus shrugged as James made his way into your kitchen to grab something from your fridge.

Exchanging a look with Marlene, you both pulled a blank as you tried to remember if Lily had left anything round your flat.

“Do you have any idea as to what it was?” You asked.

“Something big and heavy which is why she sent us.” James grinned, biting into a large slice of cake.

“Are you sure?” Marlene snickered at the looks the two boys sent her.

The fireplace roared again and Sirius stepped out, a bottle of Firewhiskey in one hand and a bottle of whipped cream in the other. He grinned to himself before the expression fell from his face at the sight of the gathering in your living room.

You shot him a sheepish look as you covered yourself more with your robe, now feeling very aware you had not much on underneath it.

“Merlin, what are you doing here?” Marlene asked him, eyeing up the two bottles in his hands. “Running errands for Lily too?”

“Uh... no, I came to see if any of you wanted to drink?” Sirius said holding up the bottle of alcohol.

“And the cream?” Remus asked with a frown.

“Snack.” Sirius shrugged, squirting some of the whipped cream in his mouth.

“So Sirius, have you heard about Y/N’s secret boyfriend?” Lily asked him later that week.

After the incident where Marlene had walked in on you, it was a lot easier to explain certain things such as the hickeys on your neck after you alluded to seeing someone.

Marlene and you had also found out as to why Lily sent the boys to your flat to pick up something which wasn’t there. Apparently the two of them had been attempting to fix certain things around the cottage where Lily and James lived, which had started to drive the redhead mad. She then proceeded to send them on a wild goose chase just to get them out of her house for a while.

Currently, you were sat at Lily and James’ after they had invited the group round for dinner. Remus, James and Marlene were off discussing what ideas would be good for the spare room in their house. The blonde witch was playing the mediator between good and bad ideas much to Lily’s relief. This left you with Lily and Sirius downstairs, now having a conversation you weren’t sure the direction of.

“Uh, yeah, she might’ve mentioned him.” Sirius shrugged leaning back on the sofa, glancing towards you next to him as he took a sip of his alcohol.

“So, when are we going to meet the guy?” She turned the question to you as she got settled in the armchair. “You still haven’t even told me his name!”

“Well he’s really shy. I don’t think he’s up to meeting everyone yet.” You shrugged.

“I mean you don’t want to push him, right?” Sirius butted in with a nod which you mimicked.

“Exactly, you guys are a bit much sometimes.” You chuckled.

“Well I’ll be nice! I want to the meet this guy who’s the ‘best sex she’s ever had’!”

You swore under your breath as Sirius turned towards you with an enormous smirk on his face.

“Really?! The best sex she’d ever had?! That’s what you heard?!” He asked Lily before turning back to you. “You said that?!”

You narrowed your eyes at him, now skeptical at answering his question.

“I might’ve said that.” Sirius did nothing but laugh which you just rolled your eyes at before punching him lightly in the arm. “Why is that funny?”

“Because I’m very happy for him!” Sirius grinned before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “And you! You lucky dog!”

“You’re the dog.” You scowled.

Sirius’ laughter was loud enough to attract the other three down from upstairs, much to your annoyance. Marlene grinned as she took the other seat on the sofa you and Sirius shared.

“What’s got you laughing so hard?”

That only made Sirius laugh more.

“Can we please change the subject.” You rolled your eyes.

“Alright, alright, kitten, I’ve actually got an Order question for you.” Sirius said as you leaned back into him.

“Go on.”

“If you have to sit through a meeting, does that mean your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Gideon?”

“Sirius!” Marlene reached over to smack his arm before she turned her attention to you. “...Is he?”

“I think I’m going to respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.” You said just as James and Remus sat down on the other sofa.

Gideon was still slightly a sore subject for you. The breakup between you both was messy and despite the fact it happened months ago, you didn’t really want to talk to him or about him. The fact he also worked within the Order was difficult enough.

“Why?!” Sirius questioned with a smirk. “I mean if this guy was me, and it was me who had learned that it was me that was the best you’ve ever had, I’d be going like this.”

Slipping out from his place on the sofa, Sirius jumped onto Lily’s coffee table and proceeded to pull a few dance moves, much to the amusement of Marlene and James. Lily, however had immediately tried to get him off her table, while Remus wasn’t looking too happy about discussing his sister’s sex life. You just rolled your eyes, mildly annoyed at how much he was milking the fact.

After Lily managed to get Sirius down from her coffee table, he settled back into his spot next to you with a grin. You however, didn’t return it.

Later in the evening, you’d volunteered to grab some more wine from the kitchen when Sirius followed you.

“Hey, Remus is due out all day tomorrow so I have the flat all to myself.”

“So?”

“I just thought you’d like to book in some time with the best you’ve ever had.” Sirius grinned at you, taking the couple bottles of wine from you when you shoved them at his chest.

“You know what?” You turned to face him, “I’ll pass.”

“Why?” You at first did nothing but raise your eyebrows, before stepping back and badly mocked some of the dance moves he’d pulled in front of the group not too long ago. Sirius’ grin fell from his face as he took in your expression, realising he may’ve gone too far. “What’s your point?”

“Work it out, Sirius.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing the two bottles of wine from his grasp and walked back out to your group of friends.

You stayed mad at Sirius right through the next day. It was only when Marlene asked if you were annoyed with Sirius, you relented slightly on giving him the cold shoulder.

Not too long after, Dumbledore sent you a patronus to meet at Order headquarters. You didn’t expect to first, see Sirius arrive only moments later, or for the headmaster to give you a mission for only the two of you.

Apparently more magical activity was happening around Little Hangleton and Dumbledore wanted you both to go and scout it out. Quickly side-apparating, you both appeared in the little town and started to head towards the large house on the hill. It wasn’t until you were nearly at the front door before either one of you said anything.

“Okay okay, wait.” Sirius stopped you, reaching out for your arm and grabbing your attention. “Look, maybe I got carried away before, but there’s something you need to know. If I’m the best, it’s only because you made me the best.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, not giving anyway any facial expressions as your stared at him.

“Keep talking.”

“When I’m with you, it’s something else entirely. Anyone else that I’ve been with before you is nothing in comparison, because when we’re together, it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

The look you’d pinned him with began to soften which Sirius took as a good sign. Stepping closer, his hands cupped your face.

“Anytime I spend with you, when we’re together intimately or not, means so much to me that I can’t even put into words.”

Slowly you felt your resolve drop and forced out a roll of your eyes, purely just because you didn’t want him to get the impression you gave in too easily.

“...You’re such a sap.”

The two of you shared a grin as your hands raised to lay on his chest, grabbing his familiar leather jacket and tugged him closer.

Whilst the two of you had spent the last few moments making up, you both missed the movement behind you. It was only when Sirius’ eyes grew wide suddenly as he caught sight of the familiar face behind you, he moved to grab his wand, yet he wasn’t quick enough.

A flash of purple collided with your back as the chilling laughter of his cousin cackled through the air. Bellatrix grinned maliciously as her spell hit you, right before Sirius wrapped you in his arms and apparated the both of you away. He didn’t plan on sticking around much longer if Bellatrix was accompanied by anyone else. With you injured, he didn’t stand a good chance at taking them on alone.

Landing roughly in a heap with you still in his arms, he didn’t even register that he’d apparated straight back into your flat where Marlene and Lily were now standing, wands raised until they realised it was you.

Grasping his wand, Sirius quickly hovered it above your body.

“Rennervate.”

You didn’t wake.

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mycrofts-gunbrella · 3 years

Text

Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Mycroft Holmes x Reader (Part Six)

AN- Two chapters in one night... hope you like them! Soft Holmes Brothers scene at the end because, especially after the Eurus situation, the boys truly do love and care for each other! Not proof read either of these yet so apologies if there are mistakes!

Word Count- 4405

The younger brother's eyes had flicked over you both only momentarily, the tiniest flick up of his lips at the side of his mouth that disappeared so quickly it could have been misinterpreted for a twitch.

"Ever the delight, Sherlock." Mycroft spoke, standing straighter, his chin poking up a little higher. Sherlock glanced over his posture and rolled his eyes.

"Oh for God's sake don't start that Mycroft. Had I blamed you for everything I can assure you I wouldn't have bothered opening the door, don't make it so obvious that you care about my opinion of you- it's embarrassing for both of us." And with that he spun around and headed up the stairs to 221B, leaving the door to the flat wide open and disappearing into the bathroom.

"Well that was.."

"Easy? I told you that you shouldn't worry." You nudged Mycroft into the building before ascending the stairs.

"Sherlock Holmes, possibly the only man in the world to forgive somebody for nearly killing him in a heartbeat, but held a 6 month grudge when I took the last custard cream from the biscuit jar when I was 12.." Mycroft muttered, making his way into the flat and sitting beside you on the two seater sofa. John walked into the room from the kitchen shortly after, a tray of tea and biscuits in hand as he said his hellos.

"Figured I'd stick the kettle on when you said you were on your way.. Greg shouldn't be long now." He gave a smile, taking his place in his own armchair. "How have.." He glanced at Mycroft. "How have you been? He won't admit it, but Sherlock's been worried about you." Mycroft took a breath, sending a polite smile in the direction of the army doctor.

"Doctor Watson, I can assure you that I am fine and have been perfectly well looked after." His eyes flickered to you for a moment and then back to the doctor. "I presume the pair of you have held up well as I haven't heard any reports of gunfire towards the wall for a fair bit of time." John grinned, casting his eyes over to the smiley face on the wall that had thankfully been left alone.

"Good. Yeah, uh, things here have been.. good.. too." A blank stare matched with a more thoughtful raise of lips. ".. Very good, actually.."

"Catch." Sherlock came stalking into the room, a damp flannel thrown in Mycroft's general direction which he caught expertly, not allowing a single moist patch to appear on his clothing.

"And this is.."

"A flannel? Christ Mycroft has trauma affected your brain cells that much?" Sherlock quipped, flopping down into his armchair and lazily holding his hand out for his tea that was a mere few inches away from his fingers. John placed the mug in his hand without thought or argument, his fingers brushing over Sherlock's slightly before moving away. A biscuit soon followed, John holding out the digestive while Sherlock partly opened his lips, and shoving the food between them. It was your turn to raise your brow now, but you didn't say anything, instead just nudging Mycroft with your knee to make sure he had seen it too. Of course he had. "It's for your face, Y/N's lip balm is all round your mouth and it's making me feel a bit sick." John's eyes widened as he looked between the pair of you. You shrugged your shoulders and smiled, Mycroft simply sweeping away the slightly pink balm from underneath his lip and folding the wet cloth back up to place on the side. At least he hadn't picked up that you did it on purpose. Before anybody else could speak, the sound of someone bounding up the stairs filled the flat.

"Sorry I'm late, Ms Hudson let me in an- what did I miss?" Greg stood breathless at the door, satchel slung over his shoulder and a carrier bag in his other hand, staring at the apparent awkward glances shared between half the room. You stood from the sofa and headed over towards him, swiftly wrapping your arms around him and placing a small kiss on his cheek to say hello. He made his way into the room and perched on the arm of the sofa closest to Mycroft, casting another look at everybody when his question still hadn't been answered.

"Nothing of importance. Mycroft and Y/N have obviously decided to stop moping around each other like lovesick teenagers and finally admitted they've been infatuated with each other for years.. Now you're all caught up, can we get these papers sorted out so I can be more productive with my time?" Sherlock huffed.

"Nothing of importance? Don't be an arse Sherlock, that's excellent news." Greg clapped Mycroft on his shoulder and shot you a toothy grin. "Declaration in the park was it? Might be a good enough reason for me to not punch you for closing off St James'.." John's eyes widened more, if it were possible.

"You just.. closed off St James'? Can you even do-" The look Mycroft shot John made him cut his sentence short. "Right, yeah. British Government." He nodded, standing to go fetch Greg a coffee (yourself and Mycroft still held a shared judgement against Greg and his hatred for tea) and continuing to ask questions about your newly confirmed relationship. Mycroft sat awkwardly through the encounter- briefly talking about his emotions in front of you was one thing, a whole flat full of people was entirely different- so you gave his knee a quick squeeze and answered for him. "Who bit the bullet then?" John sat down. "Christ I know I mistook the pair of you being together when I met you, so surely these two have been waiting longer for you to get on with it." Greg grinned, nodding in agreement at John's assumption. Sherlock, on the other hand, stay lying on his chair completely unphased by the conversation going on around him.

"To cut a long story short, we were watching telly, I said Stephen Fry was a bit sexy, Mycroft informed me that he used to get told he had a slight resemblance to him, I realised I'd stuck my foot in it and had a ramble.. Went from there. Nothing too exciting, sorry." You left out the parts where the night before you had handled a broken Mycroft to the shower, how he had gripped onto you, how you held him as you slept. You also left out the way he had allowed himself to cry, how you held him while he wept- and, for that, Mycroft was incredibly thankful. Sherlock probably knew though, somehow, in his Sherlock way of knowing things- but he was either too kind to announce it to the room, or didn't care enough to waste his breath.. probably the latter.

"That's disappointing. You've mentioned about fancying Stephen Fry for years, this could have happened ages ago." John teased.

"Nothing compared to Hugh Laurie though. I'm pretty certain that I'm straight but I'd let him-"

"The papers!!" Sherlock's shout cut Greg's ramble off, making the silver haired man jump and grab his satchel, handing out the reports in a way that reminded you of a teacher with test papers.

"Right, yeah. Sorry. Basically the proper forms aren't ready for another week or so so these are just a few basic questions- nothing too in depth yet since I wanted to give you guys time to... yeah just basic for now." Mycroft chose to read through all the questions before answering them, whereas Sherlock hastily scribbled his response to each question as he went along- the smaller details in the Holmes brothers' differences are always interesting to stumble upon. As he held the page in his hands, you carefully leant over to have a glance at the questions, your hand resting lightly on his shoulder and your cheek resting just against your fingers- blissfully unaware at the 2 sets of eyes openly staring at your movements, and the one set that watched from the side. Greg was right, in a way, the questions definitely weren't as overbearing as they could be- but that doesn't mean it was an easy task. The questions targeted Mycroft a lot more than it did John and Sherlock, asking things about scenarios and situations that had occured before they were taken, how long it had been since they had any contact with Eurus prior to that evening/ what they discussed, and a few basic questions about any incentives Eurus may have had, and anything that aided her into her plan. Of course the papers weren't labelled with the sister's name, they were generically printed and typically handed out to anybody involved in any kind of criminal behaviours, but that didn't make it seem any less like these were questions that targeted Mycroft in particular. Mycroft took a deep breath and laid the papers back onto the coffee table in front of him, pulling a pen out of his pocket and beginning to write. In this moment you had noticed the small bounce of his left leg, a movement only ever shown by him in times where he had a particularly stressful day at work, or a troubling encounter with his brother- it was a movement that let you know his brain was running a mile a minute and he felt a little more overwhelmed that usual. Without making a point of it, you move your right hand to rest on his mid thigh, allowing your thumb to rub small shapes into his leg to show your support.

Turning your gaze to the rest of the room, you noticed Greg's eyes on you, a grin on his face that practically stretched to his ears. You rolled your eyes at him, using your other hand to flip him off and smiled.

It had taken just under two hours in total for the boys to finish completely (well, an hour and twenty minutes for the Holmes siblings, an extra forty minutes for John whose brain simply didn't work as fast as theirs to convey the information on the paper). The time had passed fairly quickly, with yourself and Greg not wanting to disturb the silence and instead just drinking your hot drinks and stealing a couple of biscuits from the tray. You gave Mycroft's leg one last squeeze before sitting back against the sofa, stretching a little after finally getting out of that position.

"Thanks again for getting this done today." Greg spoke, taking the papers in and putting them in a plastic folder. "I'd better be off anyway, get these filed in." He stood, heading for the front door and tripping over the carrier bag he had brought in with him earlier. "Shit, yeah I almost forgot." He picked up the bag and handed it to you. "Got your coat, and I may have accidentally read your mind if you had been talking about Stephen and Hugh.." You dug through the bag and grinned as you pulled out the box at the bottom.

"You, Gregory Lestrade, are a bloody legend. God I could kiss you!" Your boxset of 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie' rested in your hands and you showed it to Mycroft, beaming at him. His lips raised at your reaction, showing a small glint in his eye, as you explained how now the pair of you would have to binge watch it since Mycroft had never got round to watching them before. Greg barked out a laugh.

"I wouldn't. I don't fancy being hunted by Mycroft's secret services." Mycroft let out a small laugh himself. And with that, Greg was gone and left the flat to the four of you once more.

***

You hadn't stayed at the flat long before you all made your way to Angelo's restaurant, even managing to convince Mycroft to just take a cab rather than bothering his chauffeur for a 5 minute journey.

"Ahhh Mr Holmes, Doctor Watson!" Angelo greeted, pulling the aforementioned men into an awkward half embrace, half headlock. "Back again so soon? I shall get your usual table set up, grab some candles. Anything for you!" The pair of men awkwardly shifted out of the hold and Sherlock offered a smile.

"Not today Angelo, we need a table for four if that suits your capacities here?" Sherlock peered round at the tables inside.

"Of course, a double date, very lovely to see! Come, come!" He led the four of you inside, you grinning at Mycroft at Angelo's casual mentionings of Sherlock and John's usual 'romantic' set up. You were all ushered inside of a small booth and handed menus, the benches were small but tolerable, your thigh just brushing against Mycroft's, him offering a shy smile at the close contact. "You stay here, I'll get to work on those candles. Just for you, Mr Holmes." Angelo spoke again, clapping Sherlock on his shoulder and disappearing into the back of the restaurant.

"He's.. uh.. a bit enthusiastic sometimes." John spoke, his cheeks burning a little at the memories of previous encounters here.

"Quite. Seems a pleasurable fellow." Came Mycroft's response, glancing over the menu. It had taken no time at all for the restaurant owner to appear back with a handful of small tealight candles in glass jars, and a single flower resting in a vase to lay on the table, taking everybody's orders and leaving once again. Then as the food turned up, Sherlock began to prod at the chips on his plate with his knife.

"What are you doing? Eat your bloody food, Sherlock." John quipped, elbowing the man to his side.

"Don't want it.. whoever decided that dessert was only customary after a meal? I'd much rather wait." John gave Sherlock a look and he spoke again. "Don't give me that look, this was your idea. Who even suggests 'late lunch' as a valid meal time? It's impractical. I didn't eat breakfast because we didn't get out of bed until well past the respected breakfast hour.." 'We'.. you didn't press. "So I had a sandwich at lunch which has ruined my appetite for this. Then I'll be hungry again later, but later than dinner time because of how late this lunch is." Sherlock childishly squashed his chip with his thumb. "It's just ridiculous.. they keep adding new names for new meals at new hours, I feel like we're becoming Bobbits."

"Hobbits, brother mine." Mycroft corrected, the faintest smile playing at the side of his mouth as Sherlock's words sounded alarmingly like the ones he had told you only this morning- it was nice when they just got along.

"That's what I said."

"No, you said Bobbits."

"Boys!" John warned, and you broke out into a small fit of giggles.

"We really can't take you anywhere, can we?" You chimed in. Sherlock just huffed, stabbing a chip and eating it as John gave him a stern look. It was quite sweet, actually, watching them be all domestic. By the time you'd finished your meals, yours and John's plates were clear, Sherlock's leaving only a few chips and a mouthful of burger as he found, after starting to eat the food, that he really enjoyed it and wanted more. Mycroft, on the other hand, had managed to leave little over half of his spaghetti bolognese, making comments about the pasta being far too rubbery, or the sauce being too thin, crossing the cutlery over in the centre and making a dismissive comment about making something to eat when he got home- you all knew he wouldn't.

Sherlock had practically jumped for joy when Angelo came out with a tray of chocolate fudge cake, offering slices around the table which you all, bar Mycroft, accepted happily.

"I shan't spoil my appetite for when I get home." Was his small excuse, raising a hand to prevent Angelo from spouting his claims that he had the best cake in London and that he must have a piece, and instead asking for a coffee. Without words being spoken, John cast his eyes over to you and you offered a small sad smile. Nobody had told John of Mycroft's past, but he was a doctor and always knew when signs were displayed. You had taken an extra fork from Angelo just in case and took a small bite with your own fork, unable to let out the (embarrassingly erotic) moan that had escaped you.

"Christ he wasn't lying, this is incredible." You praised, taking another small piece on the second fork. "Mycroft please give it a try." You offered your hand out towards him, the sliver of cake resting on the tip of the fork's prongs. He looked over at it, his mind telling him to give it a go, at the very least because it had been offered by you, but the image of himself in the mirror this morning came back to mind. He declined the offer and you sighed. Mycroft truly did love cake, and any sweet things, so it was heartbreaking for you to see him turning it away because of the thoughts that ran through his brain. Sherlock had already cleared his plate by this point and stood up abruptly, hoisting his coat back over his shoulders.

"I'm going to go out for a cigarette, care to join me Mycroft?" He had asked, walking past the table. Mycroft creased his eyebrows into a frown.

"Sherlock, the pact? I haven't smoked for three years."

"Neither have I, let's go." Sherlock spoke back quickly, hoisting his brother from the booth and taking the pair of them outside. You raised a brow at John who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"I stopped questioning the pair of them and their motives a long time ago." He reasoned, the pair of you turning your heads to see the two Holmes boys outside resting against the restaurant's window.

"I try my best to.. they just still fascinate me." You spoke back, your eyes lingering on Mycroft a little longer before turning back to the table.

"So.. you and Mycroft. Going well?" John asked, his mouth raising in that side smile he often displayed when he was teasing somebody. "I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen Mycroft Holmes smile in a non-threatening way, and over half of those were from since you walked into the flat earlier. I think I can only just about count on two hands times where he's pulled an expression that isn't stoic and emotionless."

"Yeah.. I didn't expect it to happen, if I'm completely honest with you. We've spent so many years just avoiding the subject, but after.. Eurus.. I don't know. It flicked something in Myc that made him regret not doing something about it sooner." John nodded, understanding where you were coming from. "You also don't give him enough credit. Everybody just assumes he's this 'iceman' persona, but it's all a front.. I've watched him laugh so hard that tears fall from his eyes, he's one of those people who throws their heads back and lets out an absolute belter of an infectious laugh. I've seen him get angry at the telly if I came over and some stupid reality show came on the telly.. He shouted at Kim Kardashian once on there for some reason or another. I've stayed up all night with him after he had gruelling days at work, him offering to do the same for me if I had a bad case and couldn't sleep. And then, very recently, I watched him cry." You continued on. "Mycroft Holmes is one of the most emotional, caring people I've ever known, he is just incredibly particular at who gets to see it. You're a doctor, John. You know how experiences in life can shape one's emotional stability, how it alters their mental health. Had you grown up without very many people being kind to you, you'd be scared to let somebody else in too." You finished.

"Sorry.. I didn't mean it to come out in a bad way.. I just meant.. It's nice. Seeing Mycroft acting like that, it's.. nice." He apologised. You waved it off. You knew John didn't mean any harm.

"Mycroft and I are old news anyway.. What about you and Sherlock? When did that surface?" You asked, beaming at the deep red John's face had become as he choked on a sip of his drink. "Oh come on, don't act like that. We've all been waiting for this one to happen since you moved in."

"I.. I don't know what you-" Glaring at him, he stopped himself. "Yeah fine, okay. When we got back to the flat that night we went into the front room and Sherlock lost it. I'd never seen him anything like it before, he just.. he just sobbed into a heap on the floor." He explained, the nervous tapping of his fingers against his glass trying to distract him from his eyes watering. "I didn't know what else to do, so I scooped him up and put him in his bed. He begged me to stay with him and I did. Then he apologised to me, for dragging me in all of that mess, for almost getting me killed and he just wouldn't stop apologising.. So I stole the stereotypical movie move and kissed him. Just kind of went from there. I think that night made us realise that beating around the bush all these years wasn't helping either of us, and the thought that we could have lost the other only a few hours beforehand woke us up." He coughed, his voice breaking slightly.

"God look at us.. All the people in the world and we've landed with the Holmes'" You grabbed John's hand from across the table and laughed. "Makes you feel quite special though, doesn't it? That, equally, there were all the people in the world and they chose us?" John grinned, giving your hand a squeeze.

"Could never tell them that though, their egos would go through the bloody roof."

***

"They're talking about us." Sherlock mused, breathing in the London air.

"It seems people do little else." Mycroft returned, casting his glance to you smiling with John at the table.

"She really does like you. I've spent years deducing everything about her to make sure she wasn't a secret Russian spy sent with the motive to kill you." The younger spoke playfully. "You could have eaten the cake."

"Hmm?"

"The cake. I know you wanted it, but you're going back to how you used to be. Now that you're together, you're nervous." Sherlock's voice was nonchalant, simple observations, which didn't ease his older brother at all. "It's pointless. She's entirely infatuated. I thought the childish doe eyes disappeared after being attracted to somebody for a few weeks, but she still looks at you like I look at a triple homicide."

"Resulting to similes now?"

"You need to stop that too. Dismissing it whenever somebody is trying to be... kind... to you. That's just annoying and not a good defence mechanism for insecurities, like a mask made of clingfilm, it's too obvious." Mycroft didn't speak in turn and Sherlock huffed. "She worries for you, she seeks for you to be comfortable in trialling situations, her eyes do that little light up thing every time you open your bloody mouth. Since standing here she's looked over 3 times and smiled to herself seeing you stand here with me without us arguing. I caught her 4 times on the way to the cab from the flat looking at your arse and your legs in that damned suit. You don't have to worry about anything with her- the way she looks at you is so lovesick it makes me queasy."

"And you know this how, Sherlock? Or is this another one of your cruel schemes to embarrass me?"

"Because, Mycroft, it's the same way you've looked at her for as long as I can remember you knowing her. Jesus, Mycroft, I haven't seen you smile this much since we were children.. before we did everything that led us to believe we were any better than anybody else, that we deserved more than sentiment. And it's the same way I.. the same way I look at him." Sherlock's eyes now locked onto John.

"Always did say there would be a happy announcement between the pair of you. Good to see I'm correct once again." Mycroft mused. He remained stoic, but his brother's words were whirring in his brain, leaving him in a state of shock at the curly haired man even displaying this form of kindness towards him.

"You told me once that caring isn't an advantage. But these last few days, no matter how short it has been, have already led me to believe that caring is perhaps the greatest advantage of them all. And I strongly believe you feel the same way, no matter what bull you make up to argue against it." The pair of them watched through the window once more, the image of you and John laughing at whatever joke had been shared between you. "We both have wasted many years fighting against this, and I don't want you to screw yours up. Y/N will remain by your side and feel the same way towards you, whether you wear a bin bag, lose your job, put on weight- she's in it for the long haul. She's spent so many years pining after you that she deserves the best from you and to be happy. And you, brother mine, have been through enough with not good people; you deserve the happiness too." Sherlock trailed the last sentence. It's incredibly rare for them to show it, but Sherlock and Mycroft would always have a particularly close bond, they've been through too much together not to- and so times like this were precious to them. Mycroft simply let out a small cough, reaching his arm over to rest on his younger brother's shoulder to give it a quick squeeze, before patting it twice and letting his arm rest back by his side.

"Sentiment appears to be dwelling well on you." Mycroft spoke, heading back to the door of the restaurant to head inside, holding it open for his brother.

"As it is on you, brother. As it is on you."

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

Accidents Happen (Just Friends Part 8) - Cillian Murphy Imagine

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: SMUT

Words: 3337

Tag List (Cillian Murphy):

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@l0tsofpennies @margoo0 @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby

Note: This is fictional and doesn’t include reference to Cillian’s real children and wife.

Dublin to Birmingham

Just six weeks ago you and Max moved in with Cillian and things couldn’t have gotten much better between you.

Whilst you both took this step out of convenience and fairly early on in your somewhat fresh relationship, you were both happy and comfortable with your decision.

Max loved having Cillian’s children around and Cillian was slowly becoming like a father to Max, something he had never experienced before. He treated Max the same way he treated his own children and, sometimes, you wondered how you got so lucky. Even you and Cillian’s ex-wife had managed to build a reasonable relationship and, when Cillian wasn’t able, you would sometimes drive to her house to pick up his two sons. The age gap between you and Cillian didn’t bother her once she learned how you interacted with the children and once she met your son Max.

As far as your relationship with Cillian was concerned, you loved having each other’s company on a day-to-day basis. You often cooked together, took long warm baths together and played board games with the kids. But, most of all, you loved spending nights together in the same bed. It was not only romantic but comforting for you to have the man you loved by your side every night until quite recently.

Unfortunately, just as you settled into your new home, Cillian had to travel to England to begin filming the next season of Peaky Blinders.

This meant that you were going to be on your own for three weeks with Max before you would see him again in Birmingham, which is where your parents lived.

Whilst filming didn’t actually take place in Birmingham, Cillian was meeting you and Max there over the long weekend to finally meet your parents. It was your father’s birthday and, unfortunately, he wasn’t too fond of your relationship with Cillian.

Initially, you didn’t share much with your family other than the fact that you were living with Cillian and that he shared care for his two children with his ex. Furthermore, your parents had a problem with the age gap between you and Cillian after your father asked how old he was.

Your parents considered that age and the fact that you had three children between you might become an issue if you wanted more children of your own. You knew that Cillian didn’t want any more children and at this point, neither did you. Things were perfect the way they were and you hoped that your parents would accept your relationship once they saw how happy Cillian made you.

But, little did you know that, your parents would give him a much harder time than necessary when they first meet him.

On the Friday evening, when you arrived in Liverpool with Max, you were excited to see your parents. But, you were even more excited to see Cillian who you were meeting at the airport.

You had hired a car to drive to your parents’ house together. That way, you could drive back to Liverpool on the Monday with Cillian for another few quite days between you while your grandmother had planned to take Max back to Dublin.

In her opinion, you and Cillian were in need of some time together without kids. Unlike your parents, she adored Cillian and supported your relationship.

As you and Max got out of the plane and entered the terminal, you could see Cillian waiting for you from far away. He couldn’t be missed wearing the Thomas Shelby haircut and, unfortunately for you, other people recognised him as well.

But, he didn’t seem bothered by the fact that people were starring at him and took you into his arms before giving you a kiss as soon as you and Max approached.

He then proceeded to give Max a hug before offering you help with your bags.

‘Nice haircut’ you chuckled as you ran your hand over the back of his head.

‘Funny’ he smirked as he took your bag and walked with you and Max to the car.

You knew that he hated getting his hair cut with this style and couldn’t help but tease him.

‘I just love that I will get to meet your entire family while having this ridiculous haircut’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Trust me, at least three of my cousins get their hair cut the same way. You won’t be noticed as the odd one out’ you laughed.

‘Great, if I put on the accent, no doubt I will blend right in, eh?’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Well, you can stay in character over the weekend if you want’ you laughed before giving him another kiss as you arrived at the car.

‘You know, I really missed you’ you said with a warm smile as you sat down in the driver seat.

‘You are driving, are you?’ Cillian smiled before telling you that he missed you also and giving you another even longer kiss than before.

‘Yikes, can you stop this’ Max said with some embarrassment. He had gotten to the age where he thought that kissing was disgusting and girls were silly.

After you both chuckled about Max’s comment, you were on your way to Birmingham.

While you were driving, Cillian exclaimed that he was nervous about meeting your parents after they were already disapproving of your relationship.

What he also didn’t know that you never mentioned to your family what he was doing for a living. Unless your grandmother told them, they might be lightly surprised. But, the topic had never come up after, every time you and your father talked about your relationship, you ended up hanging up on him when he started to argue with you.

Nonetheless, you reassured Cillian that your parents will come around once they met him and see how happy you are together.

The Moment of Truth

After an almost 2 hour drive you finally arrived at your parent’s house.

‘Hi darling, how are you?’ your mum said as she hugged both you and Max at the same time before introducing herself to Cillian.

‘You must be Cillian. It’s nice to meet you’ your mum said as she shook Cillian’s hand.

‘Likewise, Mrs Y/LN’ Cillian responded with a warm smile just as your father walked through the hallway and greeted you and Max.

‘I am Y/N’s father’ he said somewhat sternly before shaking Cillian’s hand.

‘Cillian, nice to meet you’ Cillian said politely.

‘I figured. Now come on in’ your father said as it was rather cold.

Your mother was quick to disappear with Max and you quickly instructed her to give him too many lollies before dinner.

‘He looks somewhat familiar’ your father exclaimed to you while Cillian closed the car just as your youngest brother came walking through the hallway to approach you.

He immediately noticed Cillian and looked at him with some surprise.

‘No fucking way’ Brendan said all of a sudden while his eyes widened, causing him to receive a nudge from your father.

‘Language Son’ your father said firmly, causing Cillian to chuckle before he introduced himself.

‘I know man. Me and my friends love Peaky Blinders’ your brother said before introducing himself to Cillian.

Your father looked at your brother with some confusion until it clicked and he realised that Cillian was, in fact, part of the TV show he had been watching occasionally with your brother.

Your sister soon approached you as well and greeted you with a hug. She also introduced herself to Cillian. You had spoken with her about in him on several occasions previously and there was no surprise. Nonetheless, her first question was whether Cillian could introduce her to Finn Cole, causing Cillian to laugh.

After some introductions and small talk, your father showed you to your respective rooms and it became evident to you that he had arranged for you to share a room with Max while he had allocated a separate room to Cillian.

‘Dad, that’s a joke, right? You do realise we live together?’ you asked, while Cillian remained quiet about the situation.

‘And yet you aren’t married, so you will not be staying in the same bedroom at my house’ your father said, causing you to take a deep breath.

‘We should have booked a bloody hotel, that’s ridiculous’ you said.

‘Fine by me’ your father said before walking off.

‘Y/N, it’s two nights and Max hasn’t seen his grandparents for a while. We should stay for him, yeah?’ Cillian said quietly and you nodded reluctantly. As usual, Cillian was comforting and loving despite your father’s dislike for him.

‘I am so sorry Cilly, I don’t know what his problem is’ you said.

‘It’s alright Y/N. He is just being protective of you and that’s a good thing. I am sure he will come around’ Cillian said as he took you into his arms.

‘I know. It’s just that I am 25 years old and cannot sleep in the same bedroom as my boyfriend. It’s so ridiculous’ you said somewhat upset. After all, you wanted to be with Cillian desperately, share a bed together and possibly have some intimacy.

‘I know’ Cillian chuckled before giving you a gentle kiss.

‘I cannot wait another two nights to be with you. It’s been three weeks since we slept together last and the Skype thing is really not the same’ you said suggestively as you ran your hand over his crotch hoping that no would walk through the hallway and catch you.

‘Y/N, stop. I don’t think your father would appreciate it if he saw us like this’ Cillian chuckled trying to push your hand away.

‘I tell you what, I will come to your room after everyone goes to sleep. Just for a bit’ you smirked trying to reach inside his pants, causing Cillian to get fidgety and laugh at the same time.

‘That’s a bad idea Y/N’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Why is that?’ you asked before telling Cillian that you have needs.

‘Firstly, this is your parents’ house and I do not want to disrespect their wishes. Secondly, you aren’t exactly quiet when we have sex and, thirdly, you told me on the way here that you forgot your pill the last couple of days when you stayed with your grandmother in Galway’ Cillian said.

‘Well, you will just have to pull out in time’ you winked, knowing very well that he had exceptional self-control after you found yourself in the same situation the previous months when you forgot to take it. After that, it had gotten to the point where Cillian reminded you to take it as you weren’t exactly consistent and somewhat forgetful, which also made you schedule a doctor’s appointment in two weeks to discuss other options in so far as contraception was concerned.

Just as your quick conversation with Cillian was nearing the end, your mother called out to you both to tell you that dinner was ready.

‘Coming’ you yelled out as you removed your hand from the inside of Cillian’s pants.

‘Thanks…gotta hide that now’ Cillian chuckled as he rearranged his pants so that his erection would be hidden beneath the large jumper he was wearing.

You giggled and both made your way to the dining room.

Dinner Interrogations

During dinner, your father managed to step out of line completely when he asked Cillian whether he always dated women much younger than him.

Luckily, Cillian remained polite and answered his question regardless of its inappropriateness.

‘No. In fact, I was reluctant about the age difference between us at first’ Cillian exclaimed.

‘Well, I was just asking since, with many actors, that’s the norm, dating women half their age’ your father said.

‘It is?’ Cillian asked surprised, causing you to laugh but your father didn’t appreciate the sarcasm.

The conversation soon escalated and Cillian excused himself and offered you to put Max to bed so that you can catch up with your sister and mother.

It was obvious to you that your father and Cillian didn’t see eye to eye and Cillian tried best to remain calm and keep the peace for your sake.

He joined you and your family again after putting Max to bed and, by that time, your father had received a lecture from your mother and was up to his second glass of wine. Things went much more smoothly thereafter and your parents also excused themselves at 9pm to go to bed.

Cillian went on to have a shower before giving you kiss and returning to the room that was assigned to him. He knew you would join him shortly. After all, he knew you well and he found it rather difficult to deny you especially when you were aching for him. You were a rather sexual person and demanding when it came to intimacy.

And just like this, after you had a shower and checked on Max, you sneaked into his room wearing nothing but your panties.

Cillian was lying in bed with a novel, wearing his Calvin Klein briefs and reading glasses. The beside table lamp was dimming the room nicely and his muscular chest was highlighted by the shimmering light.

‘Good Evening Professor’ you giggled as you immediately jumped on top of him. You loved when he was wearing his reading glasses.

Cillian put his book aside and pulled you close for passionate kiss before taking off his glasses.

‘I love you, you know that?’ he said quietly and you nodded in response.

‘I love you too Cillian’ you said before kissing him again passionately before lifting up your hips to take off your panties.

There wasn’t much time for foreplay and you certainly didn’t need any. After three weeks, you were desperate for him and he was desperate for you.

You quickly threw the blanket to the ground and helped him out of his briefs before pushing him backwards so that he would lie flat on the mattress.

You climbed on top of him before you kissed again, fast, desperate and passionately.

‘Don’t forget to pull out’ you smirked just before your body began to slowly lower itself onto his Cillian’s lap, the head of his cock pushing against your opening.

He was hard, harder than he had been in a while. It was obvious to you how much he simply wanted to be inside of you.

The lips of your mound were slick, covered by your juices and the precum that had pooled at the tip of his cock.

As you moved your body further down, he penetrated you without resistance, relishing the wet, soft and warm grip of your opening.

You were just as tight as he remembered and a soft growl fell from his lips. Your walls contracted around him as he entered you inch by inch. It almost felt like a vice-grip, and the fact that he didn't immediately cum right there after three weeks of abstinence was a miracle.

You also couldn't believe how good it felt, after three weeks. You needed this desperately and you no longer cared about the fact that your parents were staying in the next room.

‘Hmm, I missed this’ you moaned quietly as more and more of his cock filled you.

Finally, your shapely ass rested on his legs, the entirety of Cillian’s cock throbbing inside you.

‘I missed this too babe’ Cillian whispered as you leaned in and kissed him deeply, pressing your small perky breasts against his chest.

You raised yourself slightly before lowering yourself back onto his hard member.

Cillian kept both hands on your hips, guiding you as you rhythmically bounced on his lap.

You felt yourself getting lost in all of this and your moans soon became uncontrolled, causing Cillian to gently place his hand over your mouth for a few seconds to muffle the sounds you were making.

‘You need to be quiet’ he instructed as the feeling of him being inside of you was almost dizzying.

You tried the best you could to remain quiet, but your efforts were futile as your humping grew erratic while you nuzzled your face into Cillian’s neck.

Cillian wrapped his arms around you and started to both lift you and thrust up, taking control of your movements.

His cock was slamming into you now, the sound of your ass cheeks being clapped competing with the squeaking of the bed.

Neither of you cared any longer as you got lost in each other. Surely, your family was fast asleep by now.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you whispered in between laboured moans as you moved in sync with each other and the head of his cock hit your cervix over and over again. His length filled you perfectly and it felt as though he was all the way inside your stomach.

As you rode him for what felt like an eternity, you could soon begin to feel your orgasm approach hard and fast and, whilst you usually tried to draw it out, you didn’t that night.

You came hard and forcefully, your body shaking as you did everything in your power not to scream and moan.

As your orgasm washed over you, Cillian once again covered your mouth to stop you from screaming out involuntarily. Usually, you were loud in the bedroom, so loud that you had recently been questioned by one of the children as to whether something was wrong.

Cillian made you feel so good that you lost control and his hand muffled the screams that escaped you as your walls contracted around him, squeezing his hard cock tightly as you orgasmed.

The sound of your panting and contraction of your tight walls around his cock pushed Cillian close to the edge as well. In fact, he was dangerously close.

While you rode out your orgasm, his was approaching, fast and hard and his cock started to pulse inside you.

‘Y/N stop’ Cillian said quietly as he held still, trying to reduce the pleasure you were giving him. But, you were in a trance, still consumed by your orgasm after three weeks of abstinence, and continued to move up and down on top of him.

‘Y/N, you need to stop… Fuck’ Cillian panted in between involuntary groans as he could feel himself throbbing inside of you rapidly. He could not hold back any longer.

You finally realised what was happening when you felt his hands grip your waist, trying to move you off him and asking you to stop once again.

‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian moaned as you quickly moved your body upwards, allowing him to pull out of you and, just in that moment, he came hard and fast.

You tried your best to quickly collect his hot and sweet seed with your mouth as you had planned. After all, this was something you enjoyed doing a lot. But, your efforts were partially futile and you would certainly have to find a way to discreetly wash the sheets tomorrow without your parents noticing. There was a lot, defiantly more than usual.

‘Close call’ you giggled after swallowing what you had collected and licking your lips suggestively before lying down next to Cillian.

‘Too fucking close Y/N’ Cillian said, still panting. ‘You won’t be going on top the next time you want me to pull out’ he said.

‘I am sorry. I just totally lost control’ you said as you curled up against Cillian’s chest.

‘I could tell. I hope your parents didn’t hear you’ he said with a slight chuckle before kissing you gently.

That night, you really wanted to stay with him, but you knew that you couldn’t and, after another few minutes of kisses and cuddles, you returned to your room quietly.

When you returned to your room you decided to change into your comfortable snoopy pyjamas which your mum had given you. They weren’t exactly sexy, but warm.

But, just as you stepped out of your black lace panties, you noticed a small amount of shimmery white liquid on the inside of them.

Hoping that it wasn’t what you thought it was, you ran your finger through your wet slit in anguish and observed a little more of it.

Perhaps the close call was too close after all.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #smut #agegap #fanfic

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