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#which is part of the problem for sure
yongseungkim · 1 month
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#bruhhhh im literally doing the same things to my current friend group that i did to people in high school bruhhh#how do u stop the cycle </3 it is endless#at the very least now i am awARE#but the awareness doesnt hit until im out of the actual social situations#within the moment i feel quite overwhelmed and excluded no matter what i do#i think for me its harder cuz im just also more introverted#so other people might see my quietness as like idk oh maybe she doesnt wanna talk right now#while im seeing things as why am i not being talked to right now :((#its hard i want to show up for my friends a lot of them are graduating#but every group social event makes me feel more and more alone and i have stopped being able to control my emotions in the moment#like just the knowledge of like#if theres only space for 2 people on a sidewalk i'll be that third person trailing behind#and like its always me#groups of three make me uncomfortable#i dont have the confidence to insert myself in a group of two like ever#which is part of the problem for sure#and its like im quiet so even if i insert myself it'll just be me doing NOTHIGN#and saying NOTHIGN#which like ACHK#been getting bad at fighting these thoughts more and more by the day#the onLY thing thats different is my logical side she is#way louder than she used to be before i just gotta learn how to listen to her#in the MOMENT#its always afterwards where shes like told ya so#im doing more for myself too now though really really dont want life to repeat itself for the nth time#seeing a therapist rn who feels a lot better than my previous ones so im holding out hope#told me to list things i like about myself and i was like uhh how about things i value <3#and she was like no LSDKJF#its so tricky cuz like the things i value i dont even necessarily like about myself#i value honesty but honesty if misdelivered stings and i think ive done that one too many times
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egophiliac · 1 year
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his magic is so PINK and FLUFFY and PRETTY! I love it!
I'm ready to process the Diasomnias now, buckle up
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#art#unique magic posters#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#meanwhile at the super awesome kalim dream base#anyway I KNEW IT! I KNEW HE WAS A DREAMWALKER!#VALIDATION#love me a unique magic that is only really useful in one extremely specific and exceedingly unlikely situation#sure was lucky that silver was on the island huh!#okay everybody i am about to be even more embarrassing than usual over anime characters. hold on.#but i am ALL OVER silver right now. just really really enjoying him!#i love that his reaction to all of this is anger. i love that his reaction to malleus is basically 'how DARE you'#my boy is full of righteous fury and he is going to make it everyone else's problem#his deeply-ingrained respect for mal and lilia is such a big part of his character that it's just.#always such a nice character moment when that breaks!#like when he yelled at lilia during endless halloween night! granted it was lower stakes then but. still.#it'sgoodstorytelling.jpg#meanwhile sebek is over in a corner sobbing and going 'what is HAPPENING' which is its own brand of deliciousness#god. this game really does just slam its fists down onto all of my personal 'I LIKE THIS' buttons.#and now they give me silver's beautiful pink fluffy cloud dream palace. find me a chef to kiss because MWAH#i can't believe they cut it off RIGHT before we were about to learn his backstory. i mean i absolutely can. but you know what i mean.#i have to know the meaning of the shitty acorn bracelet. twst. twst please.
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queenhawke · 1 month
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guess which one has the most fics on AO3
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cluescorner · 1 month
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I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#batman#batfamily#for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them#btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done#has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world.#it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something#like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more#three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale#so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point.#I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series.#I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get#hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at.#I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas#where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing#for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good#it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series.#and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well.#instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character#I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay#tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money.#I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip.#it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT#of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well.#and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave#and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him.#I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim#is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR
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lightningidle · 3 months
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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
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godsfavoritescientist · 3 months
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well hold on, if we define a character flaw as any limitation a character deals with, regardless of whether it's something Morally Wrong With Them or not, then Ford's paranoia counts as a character flaw since it does in fact negatively impact him and the people around him. Let me use better wording here: I will die on the hill that Ford's paranoia is not a moral failing.
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boasamishipper · 1 year
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i can tolerate a lot of things from writers and showrunners but outright condescension and disdain for their fans is not one of them
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justafriendofxanders · 3 months
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i go back and forth a lot on my interpretations of ats s5, ie. what parts of spike are 'in character' or not, but the one thing that stays constant is my belief that spike and angel fucking would have fixed most of this.
#not that it would have fixed their problems i just mean it would introduce new problems that i would find entertaining as a viewer#anyways i don't like saying a character would NOT say/do that but sometimes i'm not sure if he (spike) SHOULD do that#in terms of showing off the more interesting parts of a character while also carving out a unique arc/dynamic for him on a new tv show#ats rw#i think what's misunderstood about spike is that he's NOT a solo sigma male lone vigilante bad boy action hero#like i think angel is actually the one who has a history of isolating himself#but spike is your friend who always has to be in a relationship (which i think btvs got correct with harmony)#idk. i think oz has that line in btvs where he's like 'i gotta go do that guy thing where i isolate myself now'#and i think that gets transposed onto spike when he goes on the 'guy show' doing 'guy things'#and then kinda blended up with the tension that many of the guys on ats experience between#being a tough guy capable of doing things on his own versus the desire to belong in a crew#but like. that's not a 'guy' thing that applies to all men. that's a thing that certain individuals experience. and spike is not one of the#like i don't think spike cares about how he fits in with society or the collective but i think he DOES care about how individuals#he's close to perceive him#anyways. today on 'reading too much into a tv show that stopped airing 20 years ago'#i gotta make a separate post about this#buffyposting
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not-poignant · 4 months
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hiiii! have you considered releasing tradewinds as a single purchase through a site like gumroad?
Hi anon!
So the reason Tradewinds was shelved and not published like 8 years ago, is because I couldn't find an Aboriginal sensitivity reader willing to read m/m with disturbing themes. I had sensitivity readers for the other side of things (like Matan and his heritage), but I kept either not finding anyone, or the one person I found took my $200 USD deposit and vanished and never spoke to me / responded to any of my emails.
As a result, I was uncomfortable distributing it anywhere broadly, even though I was relatively confident the novel isn't offensive, because I just don't know 100%.
I am a lot more confident releasing it via subscription as an exclusive novel, because the people who pay for subscription are often folks who are a) already used to my style of writing and b) generally know what to expect from me, vs. cold audiences who don't. I'm kind of kicking myself that I didn't realise that Tradewinds would make a great exclusive/paywalled release for subscription, because it means it's only ever going to find a very narrow bandwidth of readers.
Basically if I could release it for single purchase - as basically an ebook - I would have released it like 8 years ago, anon. And the reason I have actually released it this specific way is down to the fact that I'm just not really confident offering it for broader distribution.
That might change one day, if I happen to stumble across a sensitivity reader who is okay with my style of writing, who is reputable + has references (i.e. so I know I won't lose a fair chunk of money in the process, because that burned me pretty badly, not gonna lie). But until then, having Tradewinds be limited is the only way I'm comfortable releasing it at all.
Folks are more than welcome to sign up for one month, download the book (and read any other early access they want) and then leave. They can even just put 'I only wanted one thing and now I have it' in the exit survey so I know what they were there for if they want. Then it's still a single purchase (with some early access extras), and they still access the downloadable file. :)
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violetdisasterzone · 5 months
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it's kind of sad to say but sometimes I think I'm not cut out for fandom. I've always been more of a lurker than a contributor anyway, but even then I feel like I might just be too much of a canon purist to really be part of them. so much of being on the internet is about curating your own experience, but fanon (mis)interpretations/characterizations are so rampant in some spaces, treated as canon to such an extent that some people literally believe they ARE, that they're often hard to avoid completely.
the point of fandom isn't supposed to be nitpicking every little thing for accuracy, obviously. I like talking with people about my favorite things, and seeing how my thoughts and interpretations match up with theirs. I don't expect everyone's experience with whatever media to be the same. but I think a lot of people view canon as something separate, as something they get to play around with and take the parts they like and change what they don't. and that's fine, but I don't really get it, not entirely. I like playing around with hypotheticals and what-ifs and stuff, but to me canon is always going to be superior/unchangeable. and it's even worse when people will try to use canon to explain that their blatantly fanon-based interpretations are, in fact, canon somehow. and it gets even WORSE when it turns into actual discourse, and suddenly people are claiming that not following their fanon interpretation means something about your real-life values.
it's just kind of exhausting sometimes. I love a lot of y'all on here and it can be so fun to be a part of things, even mostly from the sidelines. but sometimes all I want is to close social media forever and reread my novels in peace
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toytulini · 20 days
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if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then 😭 one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me 😭😭😭😭😭 what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
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imflyingfish · 6 months
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Me watching the industrial and commercial demand go up while there is low residential demand knowing that this will cause a labour shortage.
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dormont · 4 months
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okay i'm going to be nicer to totk for real now *deletes most of my drafts*
#bwark#god i'm fucking trying to have some kind of epiphany here where i can have it all click and be like ''even if i have my problems i can still#get enjoyment out of it'' but this game makes it so damn difficult#''i can discuss the story'' wait nope can't. story sucks ass and butt#''what about the exploration? that was the best part of botw'' uh no can't do that when the surface is practically the same and there's no#substance to the sky or the depths#''gameplay?'' i don't like ultrahand. which sucks when that's 90% of the gameplay#i respect the work that must've gone into it and the creativity it's drawn from fans but making one gameplay aspect literally ALL YOU DO#runs the risk of alienating people who can't get behind#and sure other zelda games have their gimmicks but it's different#like take tp for example. i get that the wolf mechanic isn't for everyone. but aside from the early game twilight sections and a few sparse#puzzles in the later game you're never really forced to play as wolf so it doesn't overstay its welcome#god i just remembered that totk turned wolf link into meat chunks. another thing they took from us 😔#actually on that genuinely why couldn't they just bring him back?#like you're reusing a ton of shit from botw anyway??#which brings me back to my main point is that anything that isn't new is just. botw again#shrines are back but they're uglier. dungeons are the divine beasts but in a new coat of paint#why did they add more shrines to the game anyway? like you'd think they'd at least lower the number because fans didn't want them to return#the SINGULAR leg up i can think of id the bosses. yeah i love botw and i'll hold my hands up and say that a lot of the common complaints for#it don't bother me personally but yeah the blights absolutely sucked#divebombing colgera with the dragon roost theme playing was the closest thing that this game came to giving me an experience#okay i'll shut up now I'M GOING TO BE NICE EVEN IF IT KILLS ME
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jahiera · 8 months
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I kind of want to just restart emrys so I can play her again more perfectly this time... kill even MORE fiends and such. but also I speedran grymforge a bit & the thing is that. emrys rolls up to moonrise towers already have a deep-seated and intense paladin-specific beef with ketheric. babygirl heard that he was 1. an evil paladin 2. broke his paladin vow to TWO gods prior 3. was like That and decided Actually, I'm going to project All of my own personal issues and insecurities onto you. And then I'm going to kill you. and then she still offered to spare him. so I need the buildup to that from grymforge. you see.
#you understand.#one thing that emrys will do is have extremeeeely specific problems in regards to needing to be the Best Paladin In The Room#<- she is abnormal. she has a lot of problems.#Ketheric is such a ... dark twisted mirror / I can see myself in you / I do not /want/ to see myself in you.#of course she resents his crimes but more than that she resents what she Sees in him that she feels is also in her self#there's something ugly in you thats also in me etc etc#so. this beef NEEDS BUILDUP.#(alternatively: she latched onto Dame Aylin almost immediately as a figure of holy righteousness and divinity that she craves for herself)#(if Ketheric is close to what she COULD be at her worst; Dame Aylin is suuch a. Being You Could Fix Me. moment for her)#(also objectively not normal but very funny. ah yes I know what will make me a better object and sword for Tyr. if I was nothing but a#channel for divine righteousness greater than myself. not even a person just a violent weapon made to STRIKE.)#(and she can never be so close to the divine + never be such a weapon but she sure does TRY.)#(OF WHICH dame aylin is not either; but she IS a blinding light in the dark & Ough. the complexes that inspires.)#Anyways.... the NPCs we latch onto as the narrative parallel / reference for our Tav PC huh. Yeah!#act 2 is just... it gave me SOOOO much for her. Shadowheart/Ketheric/Aylin in different measures for different reasons#Orin. she's weird about but for different reasons. In that orin's fanaticism and madness kind of#tickles a part of her that wants. very desperately. to smite down the most obvious of evils in 1v1 combat#which is a violence that once again! comes uncomfortably close to the fanaticism of Ketheric + Orin + their own propensity for god-driven#violence & horror. as it is and such.
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samuraisharkie · 3 months
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that virtualtoybox person literally told me they aren’t reading what I said and then tried to talk to me w about as much in their tags lol. i never understand people that go ‘I’m not reading all of that but you should read what I have to say” bc like. imagine how infuriated ur gonna get when that response is leveled right back at you? and judging by their tags they didn’t read past my very first line. bc they started comparing animals and animal rights to eugenics which is EXACTLY what I was saying is extremely dangerous to do. That’s exactly how people start calling things that happen to animals a ‘Holocaust’ and I’m positive such a statement is made in that book they told me to read. I’m disabled too. I know what I’m talking fucking about too. In the animal section, I for SURE know more than you do! Because if you knew and truly cared about animals and their welfare, you wouldn’t be talking like PETA. Here’s a trick to other disability activists: learn about animal welfare by volunteering on farms and educating yourself on breeders and the industry rather than getting involved in PETA! And another critical trick: NEVER compare animals to people! That’s exactly what the freaks that think any living thing with a deformity that should die are doing. These people would clutch their pearls the moment they hear farms cull undesirable animals bc they can’t afford to keep every single one and have to streamline their breeding and raising to what will help keep the farm running. That doesn’t mean these farmers want to do the same to people, because the animal is NOT a person and doesn’t live like one. Our lives are not even remotely comparable! People like OP are the people that keep a wild bird with an amputated wing alive bc in their mind it would be insinuating all amputees should die if the bird is put down, and next thing the bird is on the Dodo as inspiration porn. Duex Face is an exception to two headed animals, not the rule. Don’t tell me to do my research when you’re spouting talking points from people that have caused more problems for animals as a whole second only to the commercialization of animal industry. Maybe you need some research (field research) instead! They’re going to block me and I’m assuming that’s why I can’t rb the post anymore even if I wanted to (like I said I didn’t want to start a fight so like. I’m not going to be yelling and acting like an asshole. I swore a bit in the tags initially bc I feel very strongly about how animal rights activists have fucked up disability activism by acting like there’s equivalency in our existences, but that’s not targeted. Most was going to respond telling them that if they feel this strongly they need to be reading more about the animal industry rather than relying on people that are in no way experts on animals talking as an authority on them, and using that to tie with their human rights activism as if animals rights and humans rights are even remotely the same in any way. Whatever though at least the tags are there if anyone who cares enough actually reads them and thinks about them. Will most likely just attract militant vegans and ARAs like the op but whatever)
#ableism tw#why are people caring more about animal rights than human rights. acting like an animal has the same existence a human does#why aren’t we instead pointing and making books about the HUMAN eugenics happening right in front of our eyes.#why do we have to talk through fantasized anthropromorphized animals#why do you people have to imagine an animal feels like you do in order for people to care.#to an extent I’m sure there is a level to which you can say ‘yeah this person is ableist’ judging by how they talk about outside subjects#and I agree that the people who want Deux Face put down are ignorant and a few likely are ableist#but treating it like there is ZERO NUANCE and that every person who holds concern for whether the animal is suffering or not is ableist#is ignorant and harmful#this situation is way way more than what op made it out to be and you can already see in the replies how ARAs have latched onto it#to get on their soapbox and declare that anyone that treats animals as anything less than human are ableist eugenists#(while simultaneously disrespecting people that are actually living through those situations aka comparing animal culling to a Holocaust.)#it doesn’t matter if you’re part of the demographic that’s being harmed and you have no problem with it you don’t speak for all of us#and despite being an activist you CAN be misinformed and fueled by bias!#if animals are fur babies with human emotions to you than of course you will prefer the ‘beast of burden’ argument#I’ll check that book out honestly. would be good to know how to refute what OP built their beliefs off of
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arthur-r · 2 months
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hello new self portrait just dropped which means this is officially what i look like now
#i have glasses now!!!! i’m not very good at drawing them but i sure have them on my face at all times shdhdf#and i recently started growing out my hair!!!! my distinctive bowl cut had a good run but i’m officially moving forward#i’ve also started exaggerating my big droopy sad eyelashes a LOT in pictures lately it’s part of my core identity now or something#(that’s not true shdhdf but i think my face knew about my puppydog destiny long ago and gave me puppydog eyes)#anyway i just haven’t drew anything in forever like i think i’ve drew four things that weren’t JUST notebook doodling. all this school year#(and one of those was vent art on paper and the other one was coloring with my little sister. so i’ve drew two things on ibispaint at all)#anyway i think my glasses suit me really good and i’m also really excited i can see the world really good now#i still have some vision problems from POTS that aren’t fixed but like. i can see detail in brick walls now and i’m obsessed#house fucker behavior i’m so sorry shdhdhdff (THIS IS A JOKE AND LIE. I DONT FUCK HOUSES)#(and i’m apparently a house m.d. kinnie so i wouldn’t fuck him EITHER cause we’re the same person i could never)#ANYWAYS i can see well finally and that’s good. and in conclusion i’m real tired and should go to bed#i took my meds at 9:30 then started drawing at 10 finished at 11:30#and now it’s midnight and i’m long overdue to be asleep already. so goodnight world!!!!#i have a sleepover tomorrow night which is very exciting. and also work and homework as usual shdhdf#but in the meantime i get to sleep. for up to 12 hours!!!! here’s hoping#ok anyway!!!! goodnight!!!!#P.S. text or call if you need anything!!#me. my post. mine.#delete later (probably)
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