#i dont have the confidence to insert myself in a group of two like ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbhyeoliskooks · 3 years

Note

hellooo !! can i request a reaction for txt when they see that an idol from a different boy band has a crush on their idol!s/o bc they think that idol!reader is single,,

❝𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬!❞

TXT’s reaction to seeing an idol from another boy band have a crush on idol!you and obviously getting jealous.

Genre: Few cups of fluff ~!

Warnings: Maybe suggestive from jjuniebug... or so...

(so sorry this took so long my gosh 😭😭 also i liVE FOR THIS??? HONESTLY??? LIKE LITERALLY I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS AND BE THAT PERSON SKLFDJ catch txt getting a bit jelly over hereee 😏😏 n e way, yea hope you like it lots and that it makes up for the time being losttt 🧍 btw... i’m so sorry if i get one of the members from another group’s personality wrong :(( just know i can always edit it since i don’t want to make any of you mad~~)

최 연준:

° 𐐪𐑂 YALL DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIM I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE THIS VIVIDLY IN MY HEAD KSJFDS

° 𐐪𐑂 Anyway... the two of you would be backstage, chatting it up a storm and congratulating each other of how great your guy’s performance was for a VERY long time- enough for it to be suspicious

° 𐐪𐑂 No one could really suspect a thing tho... like... the two of you were being very cautious just in case about that, however it was a bit too crystal clear to see that there was some attraction between the two of you 😏

° 𐐪𐑂 And you know how as I said, quiet?

° 𐐪𐑂 Well,,, haha,,, I guess I forgot to mention one thing

° 𐐪𐑂 It’s-- as obvious to the staff... idols... people who walked there that you absolutely were in la vie en rose with each other~~

° 𐐪𐑂 Because up close, any sane person would definitely see there was something going on between you and Yeonjun with the soft yet playful flirting in both of your eyes

° 𐐪𐑂 Are we that shocked??? you’re dating in secret so obviouslyyy 🥺🥺

° 𐐪𐑂 how scandalous~~ hehe~~ (i’m kidding, it’s really not scandalous at all???)

° 𐐪𐑂 ++ Sometimes Yeonjun would get bold and make physical contact with you so... I mean he knew no one was going to spread rumors to snakes like Dispatch and... why not when he could show everyone he loved you the most?

° 𐐪𐑂 Before talking and catching up about some random stuff, you ask him if you can go to the bathroom first and ofc he says yes bc he’s best boy !

° 𐐪𐑂 ... cue the 5 minutes later...

° 𐐪𐑂 so after you’re done doing your business and all... you come face to face with??? GUESS WHO???!! TAEHYUNG FROM BTS???!!!

° 𐐪𐑂 **insert gasp**

° 𐐪𐑂 You pretty much did after you accidentally bumped into him

° 𐐪𐑂 but it was all good actually ! you were just dying inside since you just embarrassed yourself in front of the one of the greatest people in the whole entire world

° 𐐪𐑂 Taehyun was really sweet about it tho and he only smiled at you, making you grin back at him easily since the atmosphere wasn’t as awkward anymore

° 𐐪𐑂 “Ah, you’re Y/N from (), right? I love how you performed today! I’ve been listening to your songs for a while but I have to say that I adore your voice much more,” he complimented with a smug wink

° 𐐪𐑂 You just gaped at him, feeling your ears burn up immediately

° 𐐪𐑂 “M-my voice?! Taehyung, that’s so sweet of you to say! Thank you so much!”

° 𐐪𐑂 From then on, the two of you decided to talk more about yourselves and got to learn more

° 𐐪𐑂 All that time and you didn’t realize you could enjoy talking with someone so much and how you weren’t nervous in front of him at all???

° 𐐪𐑂 Bc by now, you would be a stammering mess before him because he really was one of the coolest guys on earth

° 𐐪𐑂 And yea that’s Taehyung for you 🥺 he’s such a sweet boy like mom i love him

° 𐐪𐑂 It had just reached almost 10 minutes of both of you talking, and it was time for the boy to go on stage and perform

° 𐐪𐑂 You were a bit sad since you probably couldn’t get to know him more as a good friend considering both of your schedules...

° 𐐪𐑂 but luckily ! Taehyung was enjoying this too and he pulled out his phone, ready to ask you something he’d been meaning to for a while

° 𐐪𐑂 “Do you think I could treat you sometime? Actually, I’d love to get to know you if you’d like and it’s okay for you to say no,” now the boy in front of you went from confident to shy in a second, his hand flying to the back of his neck to nervously scratch it

° 𐐪𐑂 Eyes widening with excitement, you were going to jump at the opportunity to say yes until-

° 𐐪𐑂 Pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind emerged Yeonjun with a not so hidden sour expression as he held you tenderly in his embrace, not daring to ever let you go

° 𐐪𐑂 “Taehyung Sunbaenim! The staff told me to come get you for your performance! You better hurry up and go there, so you won’t be late.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Well... at least Yeonjun’s tone was polite but both you and Taehyung could obviously tell it meant something else- more like back off, which you weren’t surprised

° 𐐪𐑂 Getting the hint Taehyung took a few steps back, giggling at the evident passive aggressiveness from the boy

° 𐐪𐑂 “Thanks, Yeonjun! And I’ll be sure to be there, thanks so much for the heads up.”

° 𐐪𐑂 You couldn’t help but groan quietly at the tense atmosphere now and how the boys waved goodbyes at each other- although you were sure your boyfriend was more than happy enough that the “predator” went off by himself

° 𐐪𐑂 Once Taehyung was gone, you were surprised to hear how silent Yeonjun was behind you, biting his lips so as to not mess up and say anything disrespectful

° 𐐪𐑂 Nonetheless, you had to say that you were worried about the sudden change in his demeanor

° 𐐪𐑂 “Jjunie, is there anything wrong?”

° 𐐪𐑂 “I’m so sorry,” he muttered, burying his head into your neck, “I shouldn’t have acted like that... I know Taehyung Sunbaenim didn’t mean any harm or you either... I promise I won’t do it next time.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Knowing he truly felt sorry, you just turned around to look at him more clearly, lifting up his chin so that he’d cheer up even from the tiniest bit of affection

° 𐐪𐑂 And. Oh. My. Gosh. His. Adorable. Puppy. Eyes. That. Shine. So. Brightly. You. Fall. In. Love. Every. Time.

° 𐐪𐑂 “It’s okay Jjun,” you cooed, cupping his cheeks, “But don’t be so jealous next time, you know that you’re the only one I see.”

° 𐐪𐑂 True to your words Yeonjun seemed to cheer up at this and smiled brightly, the one that always made your heart melt whenever you see his face flowing with ardent joy

° 𐐪𐑂 But yea, remember how we all know he has such a shocking duality?

° 𐐪𐑂 ... we were absolutely not ready for Yeonjun to quickly slam his hand against the white boundaries of the room, almost pinning you to the wall if you could call it that, and whispering in your ear so teasingly it made you crazy:

° 𐐪𐑂 “Now, how about you make it up to me for leaving me back there for 10 minutes? I think you deserve a good punishment from me, baby.”

° 𐐪𐑂 gosh.... i just... okay moving on with the holy water???

최 수빈:

° 𐐪𐑂 Fridays where you had to MC was certainly the best because you got to spend it with a very special someone~

° 𐐪𐑂 A very special someone who would do their very best to make you laugh and succeed at it every time he forgot to say his line

° 𐐪𐑂 A very special someone who encouraged you to be confident even in front of your favorite idols whom you were dying to talk to

° 𐐪𐑂 A very special someone who comforted you when you thought you weren’t good enough in front of the TV screen... and someone who cheered you up by giving helpful advice with soft kisses on the nose as well~

° 𐐪𐑂 Oh wait, who was that very special someone?? You guessed it! Only the sweetest boy ever, Soobinnie from TXT !

° 𐐪𐑂 You couldn’t be more than happy to say yes to interviewing idols with him even if the questions were already scripted with a small piece of paper

° 𐐪𐑂 Every moment with him in front of the cameras was heaven to you, to hear his perfect voice echo inside the walls in the room

° 𐐪𐑂 Perhaps the idols behind you could tell you were whipped for each other at this point... you honestly wouldn’t be surprised but you didn’t want to release the fact that you were dating since it wouldn’t do good for both of your images

° 𐐪𐑂 This time, the idols behind you were the one and only Stray Kids !

° 𐐪𐑂 An excellent group with excellent music~ (maybe I should stan, hehe)

° 𐐪𐑂 The questions only took a few minutes since they were just talking about their song, but you had to say you enjoyed every single second of it

° 𐐪𐑂 And with the bunny grin on Soobin’s face, it looked like he was pleasant himself too

° 𐐪𐑂 Although, every good thing has to come to an end~!

° 𐐪𐑂 The cameras just turned off after getting the perfect cut and you were waving off to a few of the members when one of them came up to you with a huge smile on his face

° 𐐪𐑂 You noticed he had a lot of freckles on his face which definitely made him even more prettier, and you welcomed him with the same expression back

° 𐐪𐑂 “Hi, Y/N! I hope I’m not bothering you, but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your songs. Oh sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Felix, if you didn’t know,” he looked off to the side shyly but didn’t expect to see you kindly answer him back

° 𐐪𐑂 Honestly, he looked really sweet ! But you were wondering why he made some time to talk to you all of a sudden before catching up with the rest of his members on a time crunch

° 𐐪𐑂 “No, it’s okay! Actually, I’m happy you came up to talk a little since I wanted to say that I love your songs as well. Um, did you need me for anything?”

° 𐐪𐑂 The boy just shook his head, moving closer to you so you could at least hear him better,

° 𐐪𐑂 “Well, I sort of do... if it’s not too much to ask, do you think I could maybe take you out some time? And it’s fine if you say no! But I’d really like to get to know you.”

° 𐐪𐑂 The heat of your ears was a bit too much now, and you could feel yourself becoming a wee bit too warm in your outfit

° 𐐪𐑂 ...you couldn’t lie to him, he seemed like a nice boy and all that you’d definitely love to have as a friend but how were you going to tell him you were already taken if both your boyfriend and you agreed to keep the relationship a secret in the first place?

° 𐐪𐑂 From beside you, you could hear Soobin sigh longingly, waiting for you to come talk to him after a while of not seeing you

° 𐐪𐑂 He was a few feet away from you, staring down at the situation as if that was going to do any better and scare the other boy away

° 𐐪𐑂 What do you expect??? The bby boy misses you sm :((

° 𐐪𐑂 And he gets very polite so he won’t be able to do anything until it gets too far for him 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 Seems like the type to accidentally get the wrong order thanks to the mcdonalds staff but accepts it anyway bc he’s too scared nice to say anything (just like me for example)

° 𐐪𐑂 As I was saying, the two of you just glanced over at Soobin who had a somewhat grumpy look on his face, leaning on his hand while sitting down

° 𐐪𐑂 The sight was definitely something to see... it only peeked obvious jealousy but it looks like the dude from Stray Kidz wasn’t able to see it just yet 😭

° 𐐪𐑂 But to you, who absolutely knew Soobin inside and out not mentioning the fact you dated him, could tell that boy was CLEARLY in envious pain watching this

° 𐐪𐑂 “Yeah, of course! I think we’ll be really great friends too! Maybe once our schedules are free, then we can meet up somewhere.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Subtly nodding your head to where the jealous bby was sitting, you hoped it would be enough for him to figure out in the meantime

° 𐐪𐑂 Felix, seeming to understand what was happening between the two of you, just chuckled handing you the tiny paper of his number in hands

° 𐐪𐑂 “Okay then! I hope we can be good friends in the near future. Just let me know whenever you want to hang out, and we’re good to go!”

° 𐐪𐑂 And with that, the other boy left, scrambling to catch up to his group which was already far away

° 𐐪𐑂 It was silent for a few minutes until Soobin heaved out another sigh, but it was instead one of relief once he saw that every staff and performer was out of the room for a little while

° 𐐪𐑂 “He obviously likes you,” he muttered, sticking out his bottom lip to create the most precious pout you had ever seen, “it’s not fair at all... why does everyone have to like my significant other?”

° 𐐪𐑂 You just smiled knowingly at his tone and pulled him up from the floor-- did he always feel like this whenever someone asked you for your number?

° 𐐪𐑂 Taking his fluffy cheeks in your hands, your thumb rubbed against his cheekbone before booping his nose with a teasing touch

° 𐐪𐑂 “Soobin, I love you, silly. There’s no one who can ever compare to you, okay? It’s alright to get jealous sometimes, but

° 𐐪𐑂 He puffed out an amused chuckle through his nose, satisfied at the answer you gave him, smirking that omg smirk that really had your heart beating too swiftly like the first time you met him

° 𐐪𐑂 “I’m really lucky to have you... I swear every single person on this Earth is in love with you? But now that you’re encouraging me like this, I feel just fine. But... just in case, could you promise to stay by my side forever, please?”

° 𐐪𐑂 He held out his pinky finger, gazing at you expectantly as if to wait for your answer, but wasn’t it evident enough?

° 𐐪𐑂 It really was impossible to say no to those puppy dog eyes 😌

최 범규:

° 𐐪𐑂 It wasn’t hard to miss that Jongho from Ateez liked you more than everyone else usually did

° 𐐪𐑂 Beomgyu could certainly tell

° 𐐪𐑂 Yes he was staring at the other boy’s reaction for some time (although it was mostly you) while your group was performing and he could see that same boy squirming with excitement whenever it was your turn to lead the stage

° 𐐪𐑂 Yes he was deathstaring him down when they shook hands, but at least he was polite enough to smile back when all the cameras were flashing in their faces

° 𐐪𐑂 And man... did he hate it as much as he tried not to show that jealousy itself

° 𐐪𐑂 Of course he thought nothing wrong of Jongho !

° 𐐪𐑂 Truth be told, he actually wanted to become friends with them since he found them to be such a talented and strong person who could easily break apples with just a flick of his wrist

° 𐐪𐑂 it intimidated him sure sskdsd like what if he was the apple in jongho’s hands instead...

° 𐐪𐑂 OKAY IM GETTING OFF TOPIC IT MUST BE BC ITS LITERALLY 2AM ON A MONDAY NIGHT

° 𐐪𐑂 But when it came to you.... Beomgyu really had no chill in wanting needing to protect you always like omg pls 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 The glares he sent poor Jongho who didn’t know the two of you were in a relationship was laughable man

° 𐐪𐑂 Maybe it was bc of his hairstyle he didn’t know 🧍 but he would for sure figure that out soon enough when he was brave enough to finally come talk to you after your performance~

° 𐐪𐑂 This choreo was exhausting but you were starting to get the use of it after tons of practice and performing !

° 𐐪𐑂 You were happy tonight with how it came out, so you were going to ask for your breathtaking boyfie how it looked in order to appease that weird craving for his opinion

° 𐐪𐑂 When you came to the backstage where everyone was congratulating you, you weren’t the very least bit surprised to see Beomgyu waiting for you

° 𐐪𐑂 but instead of the usual cheerful mood-boosting smile he had on his face, was the sour frown that had you thinking curiously in your head what the matter was

° 𐐪𐑂 Before you could even ask him what was wrong, someone cut in and you weren’t able to ask him just yet

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, Y/N, before you go! Can I just say that you did really well on the dance tonight? I mean you always do, don’t get me wrong, but I think you did extra amazing for this one.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Excitedly you smiled, whooshing behind you to see that it was one of your favorite idols from one of the greatest bands in the universe

° 𐐪𐑂 “Oh gosh, really? Thank you so much! I wasn’t planning on

° 𐐪𐑂 Under his breath Beomgyu muttered to himself as he was watching this, “oh look, here comes the boy trying to steal my bby..”

° 𐐪𐑂 gosh why is that hot to me i need some help-

° 𐐪𐑂 “Yeah, of course it was! I don’t know about you but you have to know that I practice that dance if I were you since I love it so much!”

° 𐐪𐑂 what.

° 𐐪𐑂 You were so taken aback that you just chuckled nervously before chatting a bit more

° 𐐪𐑂 A few more minutes passed by, and Beomgyu couldn’t stand seeing you laugh at all of Jongho’s terrible jokes

° 𐐪𐑂 To him it was as if you were forcing yourself to laugh at all his jokes, but that really wasn’t the case ksfjsk Jongho was just a funny dude

° 𐐪𐑂 But all that time you were worrying about your boyfie and why he was so sad :(((

° 𐐪𐑂 You hated seeing him in the corner by himself, looking at most likely nothing on his phone and you wanted to talk to him since there could be something wrong

° 𐐪𐑂 It seemed as if the clock saved you bc wow !! Thank gosh the time for Ateez to perform since you needed to help gyugyubear at onceee

° 𐐪𐑂 “Maybe we could switch numbers? Would it be okay with you?” He shyly suggested, something much more different compared to the confident aura he had earlier

° 𐐪𐑂 you would’ve loved to take time for that but noooo :(( beomgyu was getting his stuff and leaving??? IN FRONT OF YOU???

° 𐐪𐑂 “Umm, yeah!” You swiftly agreed, glancing back at Beomgyu who was about to leave from your sight, “but I have to go! I’m so sorry, maybe next time?”

° 𐐪𐑂 poor dude was feeling very confused when you ran away just like that??? but he got over it by shrugging and going onstage since he had better things to worry about skdfjs

° 𐐪𐑂 Hurriedly you went off to Beomgyu, tugging onto his arm so that he’d pay attention to you

° 𐐪𐑂 It took a few tries thanks to the pettiness he was trying to pass off, but eventually you did it... somehow

° 𐐪𐑂 “Is there anything wrong?”

° 𐐪𐑂 “No. There’s nothing.”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Nothing? Are you sure?”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Positive.”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Beomgyu, just tell me what’s wrong, dude 🧍.”

° 𐐪𐑂 “That’s it, you’re calling me dude and I don’t like it all 🥺.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Wait, was that just it 😭😭?? You wanted to die right then and there after worrying so much for nothing and being so tense during your conversation with Jongho

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, Gyu, are you being serious? So nothing was the matter?”

° 𐐪𐑂 Well now he couldn’t lie to you :(( at first he was going to act like he was fine but with the way you were looking at him :(( he simply couldn’t !!

° 𐐪𐑂 “Fineee. I’m jealous, and I don’t like it because he’s so close to you. I can’t help it sometimes since I tend to overthink too much but I know you love me since we’re together but I just-”

° 𐐪𐑂 CHUUU !! CHUU !!

° 𐐪𐑂 Seeing him panic and ramble on and on, you cupped his cheeks and pressed your lips against his so he wouldn’t have to be that anxious anymore

° 𐐪𐑂 As much as you loved hearing his voice, you didn’t like it when he got sad about your relationship... so hopefully a little kiss would do the trick?

° 𐐪𐑂 AND YESSS IT WORKED YOU GOT THE BOY EVEN MORE WHIPPED FOR YOU PLSSS 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 After a few seconds you pulled away, much to his disappointment but he was more than happy enough you did that thooo 😏😏

° 𐐪𐑂 “Ahh my bby!! I don’t love him!! I love you!! And so much at that!! I’m glad you trust me with your feelings and told me this, but you always have to remember that my heart belongs to you, okay? It’ll always be and I know you know that too,” you sighed while kissing him yet another time

° 𐐪𐑂 It was such a sweet moment but... how were you getting through this without him teasing you until now??? well surprise, surpriseeee

° 𐐪𐑂 “If this is how you’re going to act every time I get jealous, then I better become jealous even more at this point~~”

° 𐐪𐑂 “Oh be quiet, Gyu, now the mood is ruined 🗿🗿.”

강 태형:

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, Y/N... is that you?”

° 𐐪𐑂 From all of the clamorous chaos in the room, you were stunned to hear the familiar but relatively a much deeper voice compared to before in the same place as you

° 𐐪𐑂 It had been a while hearing it and you were tearing up just knowing who it was

° 𐐪𐑂 It couldn’t possibly be him... could it? A few years had passed since the last time you saw him so hearing him in the same workplace as you- well technically the - was almost too hard to believe

° 𐐪𐑂 But no, he was right in front of you, smiling like an angel as always- that same smile that was so contagious it made everyone else in the room light up

° 𐐪𐑂 “Jisung (from NCT)? You’re kidding me right now... But it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! Don’t tell me that I completely am missing the fact that you’re actually here? In this moment? Right now?”

° 𐐪𐑂 He only laughed at you, inching so much closer each second that you felt as if you were witnessing a delusion or something of the sort

° 𐐪𐑂 “No, it’s really me, Y/N! I’ve missed you... do you think we could catch up for a while? Just for a few minutes if that’s okay with you,” he offered, reaching his hand out to you

° 𐐪𐑂 You could only say yes after glancing up to see Taehyun’s reaction, but he just smiled- clearly encouraging you to go so that you could meet up with an old friend during your break time

° 𐐪𐑂 You hastily said goodbye, pondering if Taehyun was really going to be fine with it since you thought boyfriends would become suspicious of what other boys’ intentions were

° 𐐪𐑂 But thankfully, Taehyun being the best understanding boyfriend he was, plainly stated that it was more than great for you to go since you could talk to someone you trust

° 𐐪𐑂 but ahhh you weren’t sure- perhaps you really liked it whenever someone showed their love through jealousy (ofc not too over the top since that’s just toxic), and he didn’t seem to have any interest in becoming sad at all

° 𐐪𐑂 ++ Like you’ve noted before, he wasn’t one to get jealous since he trusts you very much ofc 🧍 but maybe.. just maybe...

° 𐐪𐑂 Your sliver of getting some attention and feeling love was shut down when Jisung brought you along to where he wanted to talk to you alone

° 𐐪𐑂 It was the clean white hallways where really nobody was ! The only people there were the two of you so you easily understood why he chose such a random spot like this

° 𐐪𐑂 And yea.. that’s where all of the getting to know what happened after training started and the two of you, curious to hear a few juicy details about whatever, were completely entranced in alllll of the stories you each had to tell

° 𐐪𐑂 MAYBE FOR LIKE 25 MINUTES OR SO????

° 𐐪𐑂 Taehyun sat in the other room scrolling through his phone mindlessly, but all the meanwhile wondering when you were going to come back

° 𐐪𐑂 He knew it was going to take longer than what he was at the very least patient for, but this long???

° 𐐪𐑂 The poor bby just moped around as he looked through moas’ comments, too bothered about you to answer any of them with a happy feeling

° 𐐪𐑂 And with you? You barely noticed the time, and so did Jisung as well

° 𐐪𐑂 You were both talking about random topics as well so when the line below appeared out of nowhere, there was no lie saying you were paralyzed with shock

° 𐐪𐑂 “You know back then... I’ve always wanted something more, but since we became idols it never happened. These days have always been work, work, and more work but I think that if we make it work, then we’ll be able to love each other well! And you do have the same feelings for me too, right? You told me just before I became a trainee so I never really got time to tell you that I felt the same way.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Oh, the way your jaw dropped when listening to him was just... something that should be hung in a museum

° 𐐪𐑂 W-was that a confession or....? 🧍

° 𐐪𐑂 “Y/N? Is everything okay? You seem to be... spacing out there.”

° 𐐪𐑂 But you weren’t 😭 You were dying inside thinking of how sudden it was and what you should say back???

° 𐐪𐑂 bc you already have a bf and he’d give the whole entire world just to make you happy 🗿🗿

° 𐐪𐑂 The familiar clacks of someone made you jolt, and from that scent you absolutely knew who it was right then and there

° 𐐪𐑂 “Taehyun, what are you doing here?” You whispered, getting up too quickly that could’ve showed how thankful you were for him to come and save you at the last second

° 𐐪𐑂 “Okay, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation! But I had to come get you or else your one hour break would run out and the staff would get mad at you for not coming earlier.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Jisung shot a confused glance at you when your boyfriend kept whispering in your ear, so you just held up a hand to let him know

° 𐐪𐑂 “Ah, sorry, but I think I have to go now! But thanks for the contact, we’ll need to exchange phone numbers next time because I really enjoyed talking to you! You’re such an amazing friend; I’m sure that we’ll become even closer in the end.”

° 𐐪𐑂 If that wasn’t enough of a friendzoning response, then idk what is 😔

° 𐐪𐑂 Jisung shot you a soft smile, albeit you could see a bit of sadness in it... you felt bad but you didn’t have the heart to lead him on like that

° 𐐪𐑂 “It’s okay! Go ahead, it’s more than fine with me. And yeah, I guess we’ll talk more next time!”

° 𐐪𐑂 Without any word, you solemnly waved a goodbye before wondering if Taehyun’s words about the one hour break was really true when not that much time passed anyway

° 𐐪𐑂 “Is it already time for me to prepare? Thanks for letting me know, otherwise I would’ve been dead meat by now!”

° 𐐪𐑂 He didn’t respond, and you raised an eyebrow at his reaction after giggling yourself at your stupid joke

° 𐐪𐑂 “Love? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

° 𐐪𐑂 It was certainly awkward right now, and you hated it more than anything but you couldn’t place your finger on what made him to act like this

° 𐐪𐑂 “Taehyun?” You tried yet again, running faster to catch up on his too quick pace that only dripped of hurriedness

° 𐐪𐑂 And just like that the boy stopped after you called him for the third time, ceasing you in your tracks just to look back at you with a grimace on his lips

° 𐐪𐑂 “You’ve gotten me all twisted, love, that it’s quite pathetic. And yes, I am totally jealous even though I know I shouldn’t be.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Oh... so that’s what it was 😏😏

° 𐐪𐑂 He never admitted he was jealous those other times either so this was just-- wowww 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 “My love, it’s you that I’m with,” you huffed, getting close enough to intertwine his fingers with yours, “and it’s you that I’m going to be with forever, whether you like it or not. You have no reason to be jealous since I completely adore you! I want to be with you, can’t you already see how much I’m whipped for you?”

° 𐐪𐑂 He didn’t answer for a few seconds like you expected, so you pretended to be sad and turn away

° 𐐪𐑂 But when you did, he immediately grabbed your arm-- something you weren’t surprised of since he was the softest boy at heart and couldn’t be too mad at you for too long

° 𐐪𐑂 “Love, don’t go! I’m fine, I already know that and I love you too... it’s just that-”

° 𐐪𐑂 “So you were jealous...”

° 𐐪𐑂 “N-no, I wasn’t jealous- you heard nothing!”

° 𐐪𐑂 You caught him off guard by kissing him on the cheek and booping him on the nose until you could see the softness of his cheeks turn crimson red

° 𐐪𐑂 “Awwe, you cutie. Now let me make it up to you by giving you my utmost attention until break is over!”

휴닝가이:

° 𐐪𐑂 Ahh my bby Hyuka, i’m just so in love with him pls 🥺

° 𐐪𐑂 Well... speaking of which, who wouldn’t be in love with a sweet boy like him???

° 𐐪𐑂 Obviously not you, that’s for sureee 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 N E WAY--

° 𐐪𐑂 You just came back from performing one of your most popular songs and the adrenaline rushing through your body was enough to happily keep you on your toes as you

° 𐐪𐑂 You were really happy tonight and you were hoping to share that same joyfulness with the best boyfie ever, Hyuka who supported you in whatever you chose to do !

° 𐐪𐑂 Why though?

° 𐐪𐑂 Because this just had to be one of your best performances yet !!

° 𐐪𐑂 Like the way how you looked gorg on stage with your charismatic presence 🥺??? You knew it yourself that you looked amazing dancing and singing along with everybody... and the fact that they were fully enjoying it too was the true icing on the cake

° 𐐪𐑂 Kai must’ve seen it, huh? You were itching to see his proud smile and reaction of you since it would definitely make the passionate swelling in your chest boost 100%~~

° 𐐪𐑂 But right now, he wasn’t anywhere to be found :((

° 𐐪𐑂 Usually he’d be waiting at your dressing room whenever the two of you went to award shows together

° 𐐪𐑂 Or he could be at his dressing room and you asked the txt boys but... nooo he wasn’t there eitherrr 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 So... you decided to look for him ! He could’ve gotten lost, who knows ++ there could be some good food somewhere...

° 𐐪𐑂 Searching for Kai, surprise caught your features when someone with a very familiar face passed by

° 𐐪𐑂 Unfortunately it wasn’t your boyfriend whom you were looking for :((( but it was Jay from Enhypen and he seemed like a cool dude !

° 𐐪𐑂 I mean... you needed some idol friends anyway so why not talk to him ?

° 𐐪𐑂 Well, it all started with a polite hi and hello from senior to junior...

° 𐐪𐑂 The two of you ended up talking a little while that you ended up forgetting that your original task was to find Kai and ask him his opinion about your performance

° 𐐪𐑂 Somehow Jay made the conversation flow really easily and the two of you wouldn’t be able to stop talking to each other about literally everything

° 𐐪𐑂 It was like he was an old friend of yours and you were finally catching up... he was just that great of a dude yuh

° 𐐪𐑂 Maybe 5 minutes passed by...

° 𐐪𐑂 or 30, who knows...

° 𐐪𐑂 While Jay was talking, you glanced at the clock on the wall before him and almost gasped from how distracted you were

° 𐐪𐑂 LIKE HOW DID 30 MINUTES PASS BY THAT QUICKLY????

° 𐐪𐑂 and you promised you would get ready by then but now you spent all of your time talking to Jay when you could’ve been catching up with Kai 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 Although that itself wasn’t a bad thing at all, actually ~~

° 𐐪𐑂 You were more than happy to make a new friend in Jay ! And maybe the two of you could at this point be very good ones if you talked a lot in the future

° 𐐪𐑂 ++ You were happy talking to him, so if he was okay with it, then you definitely were !

° 𐐪𐑂 True to your words, you ended up talking to him a little bit more until he told you he needed some time to prepare for his stage

° 𐐪𐑂 A few goodbyes here and there passed between the two of you and he handed you his number to talk whenever you were bored to which you easily agreed

° 𐐪𐑂 And as promised, he was about to go as his shoes made some clickity-clacks against the spotless floor until-

° 𐐪𐑂 “Wait, do you hear that?”

° 𐐪𐑂 You just looked at him and knitted your eyebrows, confused as to what he was saying, “hear what?”

° 𐐪𐑂 and then BOOM! You could definitely hear it now???

° 𐐪𐑂 IT WAS KAI RUNNING OVER TO YOU, PANTING DRAMATICALLY AS HE SNEAKILY PLACED HIS HANDS ON YOUR SHOULDERS 😭😭

° 𐐪𐑂 You jumped at his touch a little, shocked to see him so suddenly when he was gone for at least 35 minutes

° 𐐪𐑂 “What is it, Kai? Is there something wrong?

° 𐐪𐑂 “No, NO! Nothing is wrong- I just need you to come look at this real quick!”

° 𐐪𐑂 Hurriedly Kai tugged you on the hand and you laughed loudly, following his lead to take you somewhere

° 𐐪𐑂 Jay laughed as well, waving towards your direction as the other boy dragged you along to another place

° 𐐪𐑂 “Alright, bye then, Jay! I’ll text you!”

° 𐐪𐑂 With the grin he was giving back, you were sure he would respond too

° 𐐪𐑂 However, that wasn’t really an aversion to what was going on rn 😭

° 𐐪𐑂 As soon as you were out of sight from everyone, Kai seemed to be a quiet mess, staring down at you like you were doing something weird

° 𐐪𐑂 The two of you were all alone now, but it was close enough to the staff’s room where they did your makeup

° 𐐪𐑂 Although it was pretty weird he was acting this way, considering he was a chatterbox whenever the two of you were together no matter what

° 𐐪𐑂 “What is it, Hyuka? What did you need to show me?”

° 𐐪𐑂 Because of the silence, you couldn’t help but wonder ! What he was thinking in that head of his- you couldn’t possibly be sure at all with the quietness all around you

° 𐐪𐑂 “I didn’t have to show you anything,” he finally responded with a blank expression, “I just had to get you away from a love rival who was obviously fighting for your love.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Well wow that was some bluntness-

° 𐐪𐑂 But a love rival??? You could completely understand why he was acting like this now- and it was all because he was jealous 🗿

° 𐐪𐑂 “Kaiiii,” you whined, pursing your lips tight together and bringing his hands into yours, “I’ve missed you too and I know we haven’t been talking much thanks to schedules but you have to know that I love you the most out of everyone here!”

° 𐐪𐑂 ._. <-- aka the same face he had while listening to you, so you went on

° 𐐪𐑂 You truly found this situation to be entertaining but you weren’t going to say it out loud ! Hopefully he would really see that you were being sincere though because you really did love him the most in the world :(((

° 𐐪𐑂 “Jay may be a great person and all, but you know that it’ll always be you that I choose. And why is that? It’s because you’re the one who stole my heart, not him, you fool.”

° 𐐪𐑂 Now the smile on his face was enough to convince him you were happy enough with the truth you gave

° 𐐪𐑂 Him believing you was one of the best feelings you’ve ever had and you were going to ask if he wanted some ice cream but he beat you to it, taking you by the hand and keeping you close by his side,

° 𐐪𐑂 “I absolutely do have the best bf/gf in the world... I just have to treat them with some ice cream after jumping into some weird conclusions! Also, what’s Jay’s phone number? I might talk to him instead 😏.”

° 𐐪𐑂 ...what were you expecting...

Posted: 4/26/21- 3:00am

(it’s literally monday today and i have school 😭 i didn’t expect to stay up this late but oh well iggg 🗿🗿)

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt angst #txt reactions #txt requests #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt oneshots #txt series #txt fanfics #txt ff #*｡『 keah’s requests !』｡*

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simplybakugou · 4 years

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peachblossomjelly || simply match w mira

@peachblossomjelly: Hi, I'm here for a matchup with one of the boys, please! I'm pretty nervous since I've never asked for one before, but I'll try! I'm a 5'9" Scandinavian girl. My favorite season is summer, but aesthetically it's spring. My favorite animal is bunnies and I like girly, lacy, frilly, pastel things. I also love organization and writing notes and stuff. My hobbies are drawing and watching anime, and I like idol groups. My friends say I am the human version of Fluttershy. I'm shy, but also open to people. I'm very anxious, always doubting myself. For example, I won't want to approach anyone, but if someone starts talking to me, I can't shut up, and will beat myself up for talking so much once I walk away. I'm always worried about people thinking badly of me. I love being there for others, but I often feel like nobody's there for me. I have little self-esteem and self-confidence. I worry that nobody will ever find me attractive or want to be with me, so I spend most of my time consoling myself by reading reader inserts, dreaming of a world where someone will love me.I dont think I can add much else without making this longer than it already is, so I'll end this with saying that two different strangers have told me before that I'd be the perfect murderer because nobody would ever suspect me, and a quote from my friend, "You are like a little personal sun! I mean, sometimes it gets cloudy, or one of us turns, but you're always a constant GOOD presence".I hope that's ok! Thank you so much, and congrats on 3K!

A/N: omg thank you for giving me so much about you, it made this easier!! i couldn’t tag you in the post but i’ll tag you in the comments. i hope you enjoy! :)

You’re matched with...

You are so cute and I can just imagine how adorable a relationship with Midoriya would be.

Your organization skills are something that made Midoriya excited when he first met you. He was overjoyed to have met someone who take notes just as much as he does and enjoys it as well.

Your rambling does not affect Midoriya as he has this same tendency as well. He listens to every word you spew out and he takes in every word as well.

Midoriya feels connected to you when you feel low about yourself. He remembers how he felt the same way when he was quirkless and in middle school and he makes sure he can do whatever he can to make you feel reassured. He remembered how he felt when he had All Might in his corner cheering him on and he knew he wanted to do the same for you as well.

#simply match w mira #peachblossomjelly

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teenwolfhot · 5 years

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Scott McCall imagines part 4

Inspired by ariana grande " break up with your girlfriend...bored "

You and theo were trapped completely surrounded by these people until

This shit always happens to me (Yeah)

Why can't we just play for keeps? (Mmm-mmm)

Practically on my knees "

The lyrics of the song was loud theo sighed and looked at you while " i can hear a faint heartbeat sister " the voice said " nevermind Elijah we have to go nik will have our heads with we meddle " as the footsteps were suddenly disappearing

Theo grabbed you " go ahead and maybe get us killed " you nodded still in shock " who was that ?" Theo couldnt scent them out " i dont know whoever they are definitely aren't from here that's for sure "

-------------------

Ever since you were little girl a slight obsession with a certain boy and well it started since that very summer day back in kindergarten

" thats my doll give it back " a tall girl with pigtails wrapped in red ribbons snatched your favourite doll away from you " well its mine now ...hahahaha " the girl stuck her tongue out while another kids watched afar was scott meeting his long term best friend stiles

He wasn't listening to the young boy in front of him as he saw you got pushed he immediately ran over " stop .... give back the doll " you looked up to see a boy in front of you wearing blue and white stripe polo shirt and a dirty jeans with converse on " why she your girlfriend... nananananan " scott pushed the little girl " shes my firend " snatched the doll away from the girl and turned to you " here i think this is yours " he smiled while handing it to you somhow your knee got scraped " here... for ummm... your knee "he pointed

----------------------------

Lydia was unable to read kira " soo what's up with you and scott lately... i want the juice " looking puzzled at the girl " lately his been well ummm his been avoiding me recently... i try to help but .... " she looked malia

" why do i get the feeling something happens between you two " pointing to malia and kira " we discuss some .... well ... scott ..... ummmmm isaac ..... uhhhh " kira didnt feel like talking about the situation about isaac and malia even scott its like a plague

" malia ???" The girl simply zoned out unfortunately " it will eventually come out im telling you

Hearing liam and stiles argue about the jeep and the adjustments liam made to the jeep

" i said you can have the jeep not redesigned it " lydia walking towards the two boys " well its my jeep ... you gave it to me .... well i simplify the jeep to my liking " liam looked at stiles and all the boy did was sigh " is okay I've got a new car or jeep " stiles said with dignity

" yes stiles we all know the FBI gave you a Land Rover " lydia rolling her eyes when suddenly theo's car pulled into the McCall drive way "we all need to talk " rushing out of the car

As you step out of the car you never been to McCall house before this is your first time " i should... probably. I'll wait in the car " as you headed back isaac grabbed you by the arm and dragging you inside

" whats the problem raeken couldn't it wait till tomorrow?" Stiles squinting his eyes " well no ... me and (y/n) were at the library earlier and well .... three people broke into the school and they were searching for something " scott looked at theo " i don't think is supernatural related theo " scott said quietly while everyone else got it " well .... i can smell them and they aren't from here scott ... especially at a time like this ... what are they thief I'm sure parrish is on patrol ..." which made everyone think

" well of theo is right what do they want ?" Lydia looking at you" are you okay (y/n)?" Just then stiles smacked the back of theo's head " you brought her .... her seriously " looking at you "isaac dragges me in i wanted to wait in the car .... anways I'm intruding i should go .... either way we dont hang out anyways... " smiling at each of them before leaving

As you were making your way to the door " hey ... about stiles ... is going to be fine ... we should hang... " the strawberry blond smiled " im lydia martin ... im ..." you intrude " i know my teacher talks highly of you " you said to her " thanks well I'll lead you out then

Isaac felt the need to follow after you " wait "(y/n) .... (y/n) " isaac walking up to you before lydia walks back in "im sorry ... i thought you .... " you rolled your eyes " really lahey thats how you want to play out ... the I'm sorry to drag you into something you shouldn't be there for .... i know we're friends but i don't think.... they like me .... martin sure made some.... kind of gesture or something to get me involved "

" you know what lahey ... stop ... just stop caring.... yes I'm a little bit insecure and sensitive but at least i don't draw attention to myself ... so save me the pleasure of acting like i belong in your group "

Walking away

-----------------

Meanwhile " i supposed you know who i am then ?" Chris was hanging like an X arms being held down with cuffs while spikes on this inside the cuff diggs in " slowly your bleeding " the voice simple said " now ... do you know us ... do you know what we are ?" The strange man asked again this time digging into argent chest and blood soaking through the black shirt " yes ..... yes .... yes ... i ... i ... DO !!!"

the man removed he hand from argent chest " well thats great news ..... so where are the rest of your groupies " the man looked deep into argents eyes " i said i know what you are .... i definitely can't be compelled " Chris laughing

" well i just have to ...... bleed you some more then .... until you're able to be compelled Chris "

The blond walked through the door and ran to chris " you lied ... hunter you lied ..." as the blond reached into chris chest he started to have a short breath " i can hear your heart beating fast " sister... sister ... sister ... toture should be fun.... " another young fellow with a metal baseball bat at hand and wacked it on the side of argent chest " did i hear ribs being broken " the young man laughed

" all of you are interrupting my interrogation.... really so much blood " as the blond release her hand away from his chest heavily breathing " blood of hunter " dragging her fingers over his arms that are in blood " i wouldn't taste his blood ... his on vervain "

As the blond wiped it off " we just have to continue till you talk then "

-------------------------

5 days after the event

Walking to school you've been avoiding every single one of isaac friends like a plague " sooo.... you're alive " it was isaac looking at you and smiling you pushed passed him " why do you care suddenly... lahey its not like you care in the first place anyways "

Continuing walking while lydia and malia catched up to the curly boy " soo anything... nope ... she wouldnt talk .... it seems she closed herself up again" lydia started to smirk " what if ... scott ... im mean scott could get her to talk right ?" Isaac was sceptical about this

" well yeah but they've had brief conversations but not a full one ... im telling you its a bad idea "

---------------------

Taking out your biology books and writing down the extra writing on the board scott took tbe opportunity to seat next to you " hey " you didnt pay attention to him kept writing down the notes till " oh man ... i forgot my biology books ..... i swear " you turned into your bag " here this is yours ... ms martin gave it to me to give to you ... i was gonna give it to you somehow but " yours and his hand slightly touched as he grabbed the book

" thanks ... " smiling

You were happy that you managed to give the item back to him but still you wanted to know everything... especially his relationship with malia and kira

You didnt like kira you had no problem with malia is that asian girl you didnt like .. she somehow inserted herself into scotts life without even knowing him

You were furious when you found out that scott was dating her , it was a stab in the heart one way or another your going to make scott McCall yours

Thinking of ways to be in his life you didn't realise that the teacher was calling you " (l/n)...(l/n).... (y/n)" you paused and heard your name being called

" im sorry miss (y/t/n) i was elsewhere... i do apologise " the teacher rolled her eyes "what i meant was ms martin would like to see you " she gave you an orange slip for you to leave class " right now ?" Yhe teacher stop in her tracks "yes right now .. unless you want to stop her orders or you willing to tell the principal why you aren't obeying one of " you shake your head " I'll go " picking your stuff up you rushed out

Thinking why would ms martin see you now what possibilities could she be thinking pulling you away from class especially AP BIOLOGY

-------------------'

Seeing two people in ms martins office you sighed and opened the door " ms martin you wanted to see me ?" The much older strawberry blond woman smiled " yes i do ... actually i wanted to discuss your career future college " as she points to a chair " i hope you don't mind I've took the pleasure of asking your parents to come by too "

As you took a seat next to your parents " well we 100% be involved in whatever our daughter decisions today " as ms martin smiled and sitting behind her desk

" mr and mrs (l/n) your daughter records are outstanding she will be graduating with honours " ms martin smiled while your parents looked like their on cloud nine " we are very pleased to hear " your mother said with joy in her voice " i must say (y/n) since you've not give in your final recommendation on the career path we will have to submit it today " your parents were shocked " very well "

"( y/n) what is your career goals " ms martin looking at you "- ummmm uhhhhh ummmm ..... biology.... i want to do something with biology " you started to gain confidence " biology is your main career point ?" Ms Martin writing it down "yes it is im very passionate about biology and i would like to study furthermore into the subject if i can ... im also looking into go apprentice in a laboratory on biology something like genetic or microbiology " you said while looking at her

Your parents were surpised you wanted to go that way becuase generally you talked about veterinary and medicine about the well being of animals this is sort of different types of research

" very well... i see you've made your research I'm pleased on that "ms martin smiled

" also theres three apprenticeships round the areas including here at school and some at local biology department in the science community " pausing " the only i like is not in this town but in mystic falls " your mother gasped

" well you certainly did your research on this subject then .... i will see to it your application form has been sent to all of these locations... in the meantime please keep your grades to these standards "

Walking out of the offcie the whole interview along with your parents exhausted you completely " so ... what did lydia mum want ?" Isaac putting his arms round your neck my career choice " removing isaac arm " plus i think i might have a chance of leaving this place lahey "

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amma-af · 3 years

Text

mid-life crisis fast approaching lmao.

bruh moesha made 30 seem hella old. im freaking 29, im definitely not old.

do all 30 year olds feel this? is this fucking cliche? is this what being a millenial feels like?

freaking. andell seems like she should be at least 45 shes had a business forever, she looks oldish, hella independent with ehr own moneey, yeah she keeps getting played by her lover but the d is probably great and she doesn’t need “love” bc she’s not dependent on it for basic necessities. but she needs love so she has hope. she’s woke but understanding when someone who doesn’t understand yet. she supports the kids but says it like it is. i can def see some bits of myself in her but bruh, at least 35? bc im 29 and 1 im not as independent, and 2, im def not as old.

but i also kind of get how shes a 30 year old but do 30 year olds get the respect of older people? does andell get respect from older people? idk man tv makes teens look like 20-something and 30 eyar olds look like my mom. dee hangs with andell, she’s def not 30. but then again we hang with older people, no?

are 30 year olds friends-ish with teens and like older folks all at once a millenial thing? i mean i def have older friends bc of work, and hang with my siblings who are a generation older and as a teacher i talk to kids who are teens but i wouldn’t be friends with them? unless you consider my nieces and nephews, and some much younger coworkers.

but if im “superior” to them in some way im basically a mentor and ugh. maybe andell is 30.

that same moesha episode has gotten me thinking about highschool. and what a fucking shitfest it was. i mean, why the hell was i so pressed instead of just being a fucking kid? like, i def ended up where i wanted to and realized it sucked even more (college), esp the way i did it initially, but once i got over the fucking ivory tower and american dream bc i reallized it was never made to include me to a certain extent (the whole identity crisis over foreclosure of identity from the every day--being unwanted by the same thing interpellating its allegiance to you, how all that crap felt of being a --insert almost every pressed identity grouping here-- at a fucking --insert ever agrandized fucking included, repressive identity force here--insitution. high school wasn’t bougie enough i think. like everyone was like closer to the ground class wise so maybe it didnt feel like a big enough ocean yet. a friend told me post highschool or maybe at graduation that im going to be the big fish in the little pond trying to swim in the ocean or some quote like that. fucking i was, if not socially which i honestly didnt even try and fucking got ostracized from anyway, def on top academically and fucking TEACHERS were trying to push me down but like i still got to exactly where i wanted to go. and i fucking had a wonderful time there. got kicked out but became a whole ass human being who found so many homes with people and so many loving arms and caring friends and fucking insane moments and memories and fucking became who i am today--a fucking cool as andell like adult with a full and complete social life if not financial or career life like im ok dude. ive accomplished enough even if capitalist might make me feel like i havent accomplished anything. much like the racist ass teachers made me feel and the racist ass kids made me feel about being smart in a fucking shitfest and where the other brown kids were just in competition with me. i had no friends. i lie, i had a few. and i had the respect of a few. and i guess that makes like maybe a dozen people--hold on let me count, i think 9 people, that im cool with from high school, 3 who are close to me, 1 who fucking hates me post-college life and would try to talk shit or ruin me maybe but i miss her and we were fucking close at some point. and then a bunch of people who probably dont give a shit no longer bc we’re all adults who need to move on with our lives. i hope theyre not petty and hate me just bc of high school.

i wonder if any respect me now lol. aside from those i know, do any of them like feel bad kind of for not being a better person to me? maybe i was a bitch too though. but thats only bc i was lowkey power hungry and just wanted to get into fucking the college of my dreams and had been fed that academic success led to fianncial success and overall joy de vivre or however oyu fucking spell it.

id still be down to be friends with whoever wants but dont have the time or energy to deal with the pettiness. i think this year was supposed to be our 10 yr reunion and idk if theyll do it bc of covid or not but fucking would i even wanna go? im still so traumatized from it idk if id wanna be judged that hard again.

fucking, i wish i was chiller back then. had realized i could be creative and look good and be more confident if i wanted to. but i guess i wouldnt be who i am had that shit not happened but i also suffer from extreme anxiety adn depression now so like maybe, people could ease up on the judgement and hatred and constant barriers and shit talking and like, lowkey bullying down a notch. these white and white washed brown kids had me fucked up.

i wish i had just like, been able to chill and be accepted a little more. but i wish the people who were chill with me couldve been more comfortable or confident in being who they were.

i remember ending freshman year, confident that i would have friends at the end of high school sitting between the coolest and queerest two people i could imagine showing off my hot pink ipod 3G or whatever. and then hanging out in the city with a few people on the last day. i dont even remember what we did. maybe olive garden in times square? it was def times square. the big toys r us in the city with the dance dance revolution. who the fuck were the people with us? was that even freshman year or is that a memory from some other time? i dotn fucking remember much of the good times in high school anymore. more shitty times.

but fucking, if people had been loyal would i have been a diff person? def s j and j and then later n but w during the first year and d all hugn out with me in college. and made freshman year bareable and some sitll continue to make life bareable and for me to feel loved in this day adn age adn i know the freindshipsare genuine now but i wonder if id have more people from high school as my friends just bc i fucking get attached to people bc of the whole empathy thing and like we knew eachother for good chunks of our lives, we should keep up with eachother and make sure we’re ok. but also like, did we even show care back then?

i wish id lived the teen life a little more though. like my husband did. like so many of my more normal than me feeling friends did but i wonder how many of my college friends actually liked their high school years lmao.

fucking. whatever. i probably wouldnt go to the reunion if it happened tho, fucking miss me with that shit.

andell is cool. she didnt get mad at moesha for missing her party since hs ehad a great time on her birthday thanks to her, and instead was proud that she put out a good newspaper. im def like, maybe if aliha missed my party id be happy and proud of her for her acocmplioshed but id still be pouty adn idk if that makes me much younger tahn andell or if thats just the whiny cancer gemini in me.

omg we need andells chart to udnerstand if she’s actually 30 lmao and just mature for her own age or if that show is trippig about depicting her as 30 bc shes def oldr. wonder how old the actress was.

thats an easy google fix but im just gonna keep watching and pondering lmao.

man there were some teachers at that fucking school who did not wanna see me succeed in life. and to have your advisor be that teacher really fucks with you. what a fucking bitch i think she hated me. the other people im friends with loved her tho but i think she was really just a racist. she pushed me hard but made things harder for me for no reason. thank god i got out of there in one piece, and with some confidence left in me.

i need to go to therapy again fuck.

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justsomebodyniks-blog · 5 years

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Cheerdance competition: This is the first time i got out from my comfort zone. I realized that i need to socialize for more people to enter my life. In addition, we'll be having group activities and i should not be ashamed of myself and i need to create bonding. This is also the time where i dont know what path to choose because this is the where we will choose the specialization since it is a vocational school. I dont know what i want and what to do with my life. The picture in my head was blurry that's why i can insert identity vs. Role confusion because of not being sure in the track i want. And i'm a little bit boyish. Don't have any infatuation maybe because of being papa's girl

16th birthday: this is the first time i invited a bunch of friends to celebrate my birthday. I have extreme trust issues because people in my elementary days used me for their benefits, and it feels like i font belong to any group and not capable of the things they are capable to do. The feeling of incompetence will fall under the industry vs. Inferiority but letting my heart open for love and acceptance of people. I began to trust again and celebrate my birthday with these true people i met in highschool.

"BUNSO" my younger brother was born. He was a cesarean baby. He almost died inside of my mother's womb because of overdue. He was the only treasure of our family, "unico ijo" they call him, for he is the only boy except my father in our house. 16 years gap is long but everything flows smoothly because i guess it was planned by my parents. As of now he is 2 years old and currently from the stage of initiative vs. guilt where the child tries something new and developing confidence.

My first band: they are the one that "showcase" my talent and the very first people except for my family that made me feel important and deserve those unchosen word for me for the past few years. Intimacy vs. Isolation is the right stage for this one for I developed the sense of belongingness. And became intimate with theses people.

18th birthday: i dont have much picture for this because it's not the typical debut. It was my saddest birthday ever. Every member of my family was sick. The one's that prepared my "handa" was my aunt and a close cousin. My cousins from different part of the Philippines did not came because they say it is inconvinient for them. They just sent me a birthday greetings through messenger. I want my party to be happy but it will never happen because we can't turn back the clock. And i dont want to see my parents again in pain. The picture was me and lore my friend. Because dont have that much pics.

Income Generating Project: being a scholar in Assumption Development Foundation is not only about money but love, family and responsibility. This is our first "KITA/income" Where we gained by having a business inside the foundation. It was summer then when the scholars were taught advance lessons for their next school year. We, IGP provide their food and snacks. Every incoming Grade 12 students are assigned to this kind of work inside the foundation. We are filled with happiness as we reach more than the quota. We took it as a challenge and we succeeded. The group reached the goal because we have objective and together we conquer every problem. It feels like we contribute to society and at the same time we learned many lessons that will fit to the economy rise. It can be connected to Erik Erikson's Generavity vs. stagnation like i am one of the productive citizen of the Philippines.

The two most important people in my World. They are the reason why i am studying here. They always support me and give me all i need. They are my treasure and will never forget to ask if i need something. I can connect it to Ego integrity vs. Despair. They always say that their lives was fulfilled if they see us being successful. Soon they will proudly look at me with and say "nak we did it"

"Im not mad. It's just hot" Finally the people that inspires me to go to school everyday.

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aparoxysm · 7 years

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3,5,7,8,9,12,15,18,19,20

✿ Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?

My parents know, because for as long as I’ve been on the internet, they’ve known that I like to write and write with friends overseas. My dad still calls it fanfiction somtimes to other people, like he’s proud of me or something, and that’s enough to make me want to never talk to him again out of embarrassment, ha, but I deal with it. Because I truly do love writing more than anything. Other than that, my boyfriend knows, but he doesn’t care about it / ask questions and I don’t really like to tell him about it either. I’m not as embarrassed about RP as I used to be, but I still feel like it’s just something for me that other people wouldn’t really understand the mechanics of. The only times my boyfriend and I do acknowledge it is when I start talking about an RP friend he hasn’t heard about before like a real life friend, so he’s like who dat and im like oh, new rp friend from > insert country

That being said, he actually did surprise me the other week and I have been holding onto it for fear life. We were complaining about a friend who literally just sleeps and watches Netflix all day when she’s not working, and he’s like “I don’t get how you can do that” and im like “Well I have friends online who claim to do that a lot. Me, personally, I’d get too bored.” and hes like “I just don’t get how people can do nothing all the time? Like at least with you and your online stuff, that’s still doing something. I just feel like that’s actually a hobby.” and I kind of didn’t hear whatever else it is he said because he actually ??? referred to my RP addiction as something valid and worthy??? and all this time i’ve assumed he didn’t get it and thought it was dumb??? IDK, it made me feel good.

✿ Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?

Always. But I never will, I don’t think.

✿ How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?

I use tumblr savior to blacklist a lot, because it really gets too much for me to be exposed to it a lot, and it makes me feel shitty and not want to rp with certain people because of how they behave, or makes me feel guilty for how I behave… I usually drift away from things that give me major negative vibes, otherwise I become in great, exponential danger of saying something i’ll regret. I’ve hated Tumblr RP a lot in this last year. It’s nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be, and I know there’s a lot of political debate on the topic of equality but I am not comfortable in a space where I have to edit everything I do and say or just not do or say it at all. When it gets like that level, a good dose of the unfollow button and keeping my mouth shut is what I find the most helpful.

✿ How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?

When I graduated high school, I went to college for art and animation, and it basically ruined my creative life. Before RP, I used to be an avid drawer, I sketched every day, I improved my skills and motivation so much, everyone knew me as the girl who drew in class instead of did her work, the girl who was going to grow up and be a famous artist, and when I went to college, it killed that for me. My ego took a big blow because the tech side of the course absolutely annihilated me, i couldn’t do it. so after that (and that was 2 years ago now) i haven’t really drawn since. but the silver lining was that I took on RP more dedicatedly after that, and found that I truly adored writing. Try as I might, I’ve never really comitted to a personal writing project, and it’s only in the recent times that I’ve taken the pressure off for me to do it, but. RP makes me happy, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good when I reply to people or make new friendships, it makes me feel like I’m wanted and needed, that my characters and plots are valid and that other people would care if I’m here or not. It was a big boost for my self confidence, and it’s also made me so much more privy to the creative world, which i needed after that. so yeah, i see myself sticking with writing.

✿ Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?

She stood in front of her closet mirror in her T-shirt and twisted this way and that. What’s wrong with me? She wondered. There was nothing the matter that she could see. She was tall and leggy, like her mother, with full breasts, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden; it was always golden, sun or not, and her tawny hair was thick and long and wild. So why was it that groups of girls stopped talking when she approached them at school and answered her openings with tense words that killed the conversations she tried to start? Was she too good-looking? Was that possible? Was that the threat they saw?

Legitimately, this was the first and pretty much only female protagonist I had ever read about who fully and whole-heartedly loved herself where it mattered. Sure, she still had her shortcomings and moments of weakness, but god damn, Vivian was so proud of herself and what she stood for, and that was so refreshing to see during that period of young adult fiction. It’s why she became my first favourite character from a book. And has pretty much inspired me to write feirce, aggressive, self-assured female characters ever since. I was just so inspired by her way of thinking as a young girl, it appealed to me so much and so that moment in the book plus a whole lot of others, really stuck with me.

✿ What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?

Cliche, but chemistry. And not always in the writing kind but a lot in the OOC kind. I like people who I can talk to super easily, who write in the same tumblr language I do, who reference memes and are not afraid to hit me up with IMs and head canons, etc. I just love it because it makes me feel comfortable with a person, and like I’m not being a bother. The better I get to know a player, the better I get to know their character away from IC interactions. Likewise, I adore it when players get to know me so well that they read the patterns in my characters easily, and I don’t feel like I have to explain them all the time? It’s like they just know, and they know what path I want to put them on. I also look for honesty, people who are down to tell me what they’re feeling about a situation or whether something bothers them, or is able to voice if I’m doing something wrong. Most importantly though, I look for decisive people. Not overly decisive but it’s just so important for me to have someone who is like “yes that sounds good, i can start a thing for you if you want” or “i dont think that really fits, how about this plot idea instead?” I really cannot stand sending IMs to people about plots and characters and them just agreeing off the bat the whole time, but never really deciding on anything either, and so it makes me feel like i’m just paddling in a circle until i make all the decisions for us. To me, that’s not what RP is about. It involves teamwork, and effort, and to me, that’s not putting in effort. It gets me really frustrated.

✿ What made you want to join the roleplaying community?

I kept seeing bios in celebrity tags, and so when i sussed out what group rp was on tumblr, i was like holy shit there is a name for the thing i have been doing with friends over email for so many years???? and you can use PICTURES? i gotta get on this.

so somehow, i found a group rp that allowed mythical creatures, i wanted to be a peter pan mermaid, and the rest is history~~

✿ What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?

(( Blood & Chocolate, by Anette Curtis Klause — because of the main character, as per mentioned. She’s inspired me to write full-on, aggressive, assertive, don’t-tell-me-what-i-can-and-cant-do female characters without apology. ))

The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen — it’s hard to explain exactly why, and it doesnt even just involve ONE of her books either, but they’ve kind of shaped my whole general character story directions?? her books always follow a pattern and i really admire that pattern, even if it is repetitive, and i am secretly a hopeless romantic so i really like how her love stories evolve. it’s always slow burning, the boy is usually a direct surprising love interest, and the girl always gains new friends and family out of it, and the stories always involve a nice little reoccurring theme. In the Truth About Forever, it’s a game that she and a boy plays throughout the entire book, which eventually leads to a shift from friendship to something more. THAT PLOT HAS APPEALED TO ME EVERY SINCE. the example of a teeny, tiny, otherwise-completely-average moment greatly impacting the rest of a characters life with someone else… i am weAK for this concept ok. her females are always usally feircely independent too and that gets me ♥

✿ Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

Vivian Gandillon (Blood & Chocolate) — i swear i could go on repeat forever haha, but i’ve basically already mentioned why.

Jace Herondale (Shadowhunter Series) — back when the first like, two books had only been published, i super fell hard for this series and it was straight up because of the commentary done by Jace and his ability to senselessly bicker with everybody in his path. his comments to me, were always absolutely hysterical. i was so in love with his wry and witty comments, especially the way he kept at ease and casual through super distressing situations, and i really wish id kept reading the rest of the series as it was published, but i seriously fell behind. then the movie came out. then the netflix series. now i’ve grown too far out of it and having to see the cast on my dash every second of every day makes me want to burn the books.

Shane Collins (Morganville Vampire Series) — this is an oooold old series that i used to read religiously, and it was more in the style of anita blake and buffy vampires~ rather than twilight and true blood -esque content. it got really weird and complicated though so i gave up on it, but for a time, i adored it. and i loved shane because he was hilariously human, he hated everybody except his housemates (though sometimes that could be questioned) and nobody held a grudge better than him. he had a knack for getting in trouble, usually on his own accord, was feircely protective and spent most of his time just being a genuine nuisance and temper tantrum thrower. i saw a lot of me in him, and idk. i just like people with tempers, i think it makes them super fun to read.

#me af #psa; ooc #psa; my library #shehasnoears

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