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thatdamnokie · 4 years

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so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

44 notes · View notes

yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years

Text

Piggy’s Had Too Much Wine

This fic is highkey a vent because my younger brother is an asshole who never stops calling me fat

DISCLAIMER: By writing this fic I am not saying that Katy Richardson is fat. She is not. And even if she was, she would still be drop dead gorgeous. This is a fictional story about the character she plays, not her.

Word count: 3159

TW: Body shaming, body image issues, self harm

--------------------

“Damn, girl, you got enough in your face?”

Joan looked up from the forkful of food she had just put in her mouth and blinked at Anne smirking across the table at her. She chewed slowly, like a sheep deep in thought, then said after swallowing, “Huh?”

Anne nodded at her meal. “You got a lot to eat there.”

“I know,” Joan said, shifting in her seat. “I’m hungry.”

“That’s new,” Cathy observed. “Usually you don’t like eating during lunch breaks at work.”

“Well, we’re not at work,” Joan said. “This is a restaurant.”

“We know that,” Cleves said.

“And the food is good here.” Joan went on hastily. “I like it.”

“Maybe a little too much,” Kitty said from behind her glass, earning her a sharp, but wounded look from Joan, which she countered with a petty sip of her drink.

“I’m paying, anyway,” Joan continued. “Why does it matter what I get?” “It doesn’t, honey,” Aragon settled her. “Don’t worry about it.”

Joan nodded and then took another bite of her meal. She couldn’t help but feel a little awkward as she did so, as if she were eating like a pig out of a slop trough, but tried to ignore it. It was fine. Everybody had to eat. There was nothing embarrassing about it.

“So…” Anne started again. Aragon gave her a warning look, but she either ignored it or didn’t see it. “What made you want to come out with us? Usually you never go out.”

Joan shrugged. “I got lonely. And there isn’t anything good to eat at my apartment, so…” She shrugged again.

“Ah, so that explains why you’re stuffing your face like there’s no tomorrow,” Kitty nodded wisely.

Joan ruffled, face inflaming with red. “I said I was hungry!” She yelped, her voice pitching slightly.

“Don’t get mad,” Kitty held her hand sup. “I thought you were just trying to starve yourself or something.”

“You do never eat,” Jane put in her two cents.

“Well, I am now,” Joan grumbled.

“Do you have a date?” Cleves asked. “Maybe you’re looking for someplace good to take them?”

Anne snorted. “If Joan had a date, then I hope they have a belly kink because she’s going to be packing after this.” She took a sip of her drink, then breezily added, “More so than she usually is.”

A few giggles swept through the tables, while others snapped their heads around to gauge Joan’s reaction. And she did not look happy about what had been said.

Joan’s fork was raised up for her to take another bite, but frozen in midair. Bright red consumed her face like the blooming of a rose in spring. She unconsciously wrapped her free arm around her stomach while slowly setting her fork down with the other. She sat hunched against the table for a moment, then was grabbing her purse and dumping money out on the table.

“You can pay with this,” She mumbled.

“Come on, Joan,” Anne said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be such a baby. It was just a joke.”

But Joan doesn’t listen to her. She stood up and shoved her chair in roughly. Tears of humiliation could be seen shining in her eyes.

“Oh my god,” Anne groaned. “Are you going to cry? Are you serious? You’re literally thinner than half of us here! What do you have to cry about? Or even be embarrassed about?”

Still, Joan doesn’t listen. She slung her purse of her shoulder and stormed out of the building, her arms wrapped firmly around her stomach the entire time.

------

When Joan got home, she shoved her fingers down her throat and cried. So much for a good meal. At least she got to pay for it.

------

That night, Joan stood in the shower with a box cutter poised over her exposed belly. She wondered what it would be like to find clarity in its blade. Cutting off pieces of herself would make her feel more whole. A heavy decision with a light outcome. It would just be like how they cut meat at slaughterhouses.

Make yourself an animal. Make yourself less human. It’ll make the process easier.

But the pain was bright and sharp and unbearable, even with the smallest of slices, and she threw the box cutter at the wall.

Joan sunk to the floor, sobbing, thin trails of blood running from her stomach. The water dissolved the red into unfolding petals of flowers across her pale skin before sliding into the drain.

What did she have to be embarrassed about?

She looked at herself in the mirror after getting out of the shower and asked herself this. What does she have that makes her so embarrassing? What does she have to hate?

She wasn’t overweight. She wasn’t obese. In most people’s terms, she was the normal example of thin. It was just her stomach, it wasn’t that bad, or that’s what they say.

“You’re not even that big,” That’s because you haven’t seen her with her shirt off.

“It’s just your stomach, it’s not even that bad,” But that’s what people see the most.

“You aren’t fat so stop saying you are,” And she wished she could, but tell that to the insecurities rebounding inside of her head.

When she wears jeans, she has to pull the waistband up over her stomach or else she would be doing an impression of an English muffin for the entire day.

When she wears certain shirts, she has to suck in her stomach or else everyone will see the not-actual baby bump she’s sporting.

When people jokingly (or sometimes seriously) ask if she’s pregnant, she has to force herself to laugh along because if she shows that she’s offended they’ll pull out the “you’re not fat, you don’t know what it’s like, you have no right to be so whiny.”

When someone says they wished she had her body type, she has to act like it’s some worshiping compliment when really it just makes her feel guilty.

And she gets it, she does, she knows how hard it must be for actual overweight people, but goddamnit, when she heard someone point her body out so rudely, it was enough to destroy any confidence she had in herself.

She wanted to cut it all off. All of it. Until there’s nothing left but a gaping hole left in her abdomen from where her ugliness used to be.

If only.

------

Joan hadn’t expected not eating to be so goddamn hard. She only ate a few things a day, but having nothing at all was absolute torture. The fact that she couldn’t go twenty-four hours without food did not help her confidence in her weight or body, but it was also too much for her to handle. She /had/ to eat. She could find a different way to lose weight.

------

Exercise was a bust. Turns out she has really bad stamina. She threw up when she attempted to jog an entire trail. She walked the same trail the second time and still felt excruciating stitches in her side during the entire hike. And then she waterlogged herself and felt even sicker. AND THEN her legs were sore for days. She hated it.

------

When starving herself and jogging failed, Joan turned to the local gym. She bought herself a membership and went in with the most confidence she could muster. The first day, her foot slipped and she got her leg caught in the turning pedals of the bike machine. In her attempt to escape, she sprawled right out of the seat, screaming. She hasn’t gone back since.

------

Two weeks have passed since the incident at the restaurant. Joan was still thinking about it, no matter how hard she tried to distract herself. Anne’s words and the laughter that followed just kept rebounding through her skull.

Hunching over her work desk, Joan carefully felt her stomach. She hated how soft and pudgy it was, as if she were actually pregnant like how people liked to joke, but with a deflated baby. She poked the roll of fat and wrinkled her nose in disgust. Her nails curled into the skin as her anger mounted.

Why did she have to look like this?

She had rewatched the recordings of the Sunday Sessions and noticed how much her stomach stuck out. Had she always looked that fat? Why didn’t anyone say something? Were they laughing at her while the Live went on? Were they looking? God, she even looks awful in her overalls. If she can’t wear her overalls anymore, then what’s the point of anything?

Joan whimpered. She scratched harder at her belly.

Cut it off. Cut it all off. Make herself good, whole, pretty. People will like her more. She’ll finally have friends. Yes. Yes. Good.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Stinging pain streaked all across her poor tummy. Her fingernails were claws and she was marring herself.

Give them a reason to like her. Just don’t let them see what lies underneath. Just smile and be pretty and stay thin. Cut it off.

Joan wondered what would happen if she scratched too deep. What if her skin split open? She’s heard of evisceration that has happened like that, granted it usually wasn’t caused by excessive clawing because of body hatred. Would pulling out some of her organs make her thinner? Surely she didn’t need her large intestines /that/ much. It had it in its name- “large.” It’s too big. It takes up too much space in her. It’s definitely making her look so swollen and gross.

Pull it out

“Joan?”

Joan’s hands froze. Her entire body froze. She swallowed thickly, shutting her eyes and cursing herself in her mind. Then, she’s wiping the tears from her face and turning to the queen in her doorway.

“Yeah?”

Jane peered at Joan curiously. Strangely, the usual annoyance in her gaze was missing. She even looked a little worried.

No, no-- Jane doesn’t care about her. Jane thought she was fat, just like everyone else.

“Are you alright?” Jane asked.

“What? Oh, yeah. I’m okay.” Joan said. She forced a light laugh. “I was watching some animal videos. You know The Dodo? God, those always make me cry! Don’t tell the director, please? I don’t want him to think I’m slacking.”

Jane looked at her computer screen, which definitely did not have an animal video on it, then nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“So, what did you need?”

“Oh, uh. Tim needs you. Something about lighting malfunction.” Jane said.

“A music director’s work is never done,” Joan chuckled dryly. She got up and walked out into the hallway, Jane stepping back with her. When she closed the door, faint bloody smears were left on the knob.

She and Jane both noticed it, along with the blood on her fingertips, but neither said anything.

------

You lose weight when you’re stressed. You also gain weight when you’re stressed. The fact that Joan was worried that her costume was tighter than usual does not help the latter.

------

The costume was definitely tighter. Or maybe it was always this tight? NO, there’s no way… Well, whatever it is, it’s making the waistband cut uncomfortably into her belly when she sits down. But maybe it rupturing her organs from the tightness may not be so bad. The loss of mass inside of herself could help her lose weight.

------

Joan tried to not eat again. It’s working a little. She’s restraining herself well enough. But it’s awful, so awful. The hunger pains are the worst.

------

“Joan?”

Joan turned to the doorway of her dressing room to see Aragon standing there.

“Yes?”

“Are you almost done?” Aragon asked.

Joan furrowed her eyebrows at her paperwork. “No.”

“Wonderful,” Aragon said. “Come on.”

Joan blinked. “What?”

“Come on,” Aragon said again. “We’re going to my house for dinner.”

“Wha-- But I said I had work?”

“It doesn’t matter right now. Let’s go.”

Joan hesitated, then gathered her belongings and walked out with Aragon. If it weren’t for her undying loyalty to the queens and that she was kinda afraid of Aragon, she might have refused. Too late now, though.

“What are we having?” Joan asked meekly on the drive to the queen’s house.

“Lasagna,” Aragon answered. “And, no, before you ask, I’m not going to add every single existing spice into it.” She rolled her eyes. “Can you believe that Anne really thought that?”

That got a tiny giggle out of Joan. Aragon flashed her a quick smile, then focused on the road ahead of her.

“I hope you’re hungry.”

“I am a little,” Joan said, and that’s the moment her stomach decided to growl obviously loud. Her face flushed bright red and she wrapped her arms around her midsection as Aragon laughed.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Aragon chuckled.

Joan remained flustered for the rest of the short car ride. And then she was just embarrassed when they pulled up to the queen’s house and realized she was going to have to eat in front of them again. She was already preparing herself for the humiliation.

Weirdly, though, the house was empty when they walked in.

“Everyone is out eating,” Aragon said, catching Joan’s confused expression. “So it’ll just be us.”

“Oh… I’m sorry you had to miss that.”

Aragon waved a dismissive hand. “Nonsense. It’s quite alright. Now come help me reheat this lasagna.”

Half an hour later, they were eating. Except Joan just stared at her plate, wringing her hands anxiously in her shirt. Her stomach was dying for the freshly made lasagna, but she really didn’t want to add the calories to her already thick body.

“Joan? Aren’t you going to eat?” Aragon asked.

“Oh, uhh-- I’m not that hungry, actually.” Joan said.

“But I thought you were earlier?”

“That was earlier.”

And then Joan’s stomach growled. Redness enveloped her face as she hunched her shoulders in and looked at the floor. Aragon gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Eat, honey. Please.”

So Joan does eat. She eats more than she actually wanted and after four plates she feels stuffed and sick- both physically and mentally.

“You really were hungry, huh?” Aragon mused, picking up Joan’s plate. Joan whimpered below her. Instantly, her maternal instincts flared to life. “Joan?” She knelt beside the chair and set a hand on Joan’s back. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Joan sobbed. She looked up at Aragon and tears were rapidly streaming down her cheeks.

“Oh, sweetheart… Come here.” Aragon pulled Joan into her arms and the girl slid off the chair to be enveloped in them. She noted that Joan didn’t hug back, rather kept her hands firmly gripping her stomach. Things were starting to fall into place. “Shh, shh… It’s alright, baby. It’s alright.”

“No, no,” Joan shook her head. “No, it’s not. It’s not, Catalina, I--” She practically screamed. “I hate myself so much.”

“Joan…” Aragon helped Joan up so she could sit on the couch. The girl instantly curled into her upon sitting down. “Joan, honey, why? What’s wrong?”

“I-I--” Joan cut herself off with a tight whine.

“Is this about what Anne said?” Aragon asked.

Joan nodded with a feeble whimper.

Aragon looked absolutely enraged. “Goddamnit, that bitch--” She hissed. She pulled Joan against her firmly. “I’m so sorry, baby girl. This has been eating you up, hasn’t it?”

Joan nodded again. “It’s--it’s all I’ve been thinking about. It’s been killing me, Catalina, it’s been killing me…” She sobbed into Aragon’s chest. “A-and I know it’s stupid because I’m not overweight, not really, so I don’t have the right to complain, b-but--”

“Oh no. Don’t you dare.” Aragon pushed Joan back and cupped her tear-stained face, making the girl look her in the eye. “Don’t you dare say that, Joan. You have every right to feel the way you do. You can be upset if you want to, regardless of your body type. You can be tall or short, black or white, skinny or fat- it isn’t just overweight people who have body image issues. So don’t be guilty over that, honey.” She brushed some hair out of Joan’s face. “But just know that the things you are thinking are not true.”

Joan pulled away and shook her head. “They are.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach again.

“They are not.” Aragon said. “Joan, you are not fat.”

“Yes I am!” Joan cried. “Have you SEEN my stomach? I’m fat, Catalina! I’m fat and gross and--” She dissolved into tears again.

“I have seen your stomach, Joan.” Aragon said gently. “Am I supposed to be disgusted by it?”

Joan nodded, not looking at Aragon.

“Why?”

“B-because,” Joan stammered. “It’s ugly…”

“Honey, you are not ugly.” Aragon said. “You are anything but ugly. You are very, very beautiful.”

Joan answered with only a tiny, “mmmm.”

Aragon pulled Joan back into her arms. Joan curled into them, her head finding its spot on her chest.

“I don’t care about what you look like, baby. You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes. Not ugly or fat.” Aragon said.

“P-please don’t say I’m not fat,” Joan begged quietly. “I-I can’t-- I can’t believe you. Not right now. It’s too-- I--”

“Shh,” Aragon pressed her head underneath her chin. “I understand, honey. But just know my opinion will never change about you. You will always be my perfect girl.”

Joan sniffled. “R-really?”

“Really.” Aragon confirmed.

Joan was quiet for a moment, then nodded. She finally hugged Aragon back, practically burying herself against the queen.

“I-I don’t know how long it’ll take,” Joan whispered. “For me to not see myself the way I do…”

“That’s alright,” Aragon said. “I’ll be here helping you every step of the way.”

“Thank you.” Joan nuzzled into Aragon’s warmth. She winced when her stomach cramped. “I think I ate too much…”

“Oh, my poor baby,” Aragon cooed. She lowered one hand and rubbed comforting circles against Joan’s belly. “I used to do this with Elizabeth, you know. She was such a fussy girl.” She chuckled. “Don’t tell her I told you that.”

Joan giggled. “Your secret is safe with me.” She leaned her head against Aragon’s chest and relaxed into the feeling gliding across her full stomach. “I can see why she liked this, though.”

“Oh yeah?” Aragon smiled at her. “I’ll have to see if she still does, then. Ha, she would be so red!”

Another giggle. “She’d kill you.”

“I’d like to see her try.”

Joan smiled slightly. Her hatred for her own body was still clouding her mind, and she knew she was going to continue to have problems over it in the near future, but it suddenly felt like they would be easier to deal with. She had someone who loved her, who thought she was perfect and beautiful, regardless of what she or her stomach looked like.

Well. At least there was one good thing about having a soft, chubby tummy. More room to get belly rubs.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #joan on the keys #anne boleyn #catherine of aragon #jane seymour #katherine howard #catherine parr #anna of cleves #piggy's had too much wine #tw: body shaming #tw: body image #tw: self harm

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gamerwoo · 5 years

Text

Rowoon: Deceiving

Characters: Rowoon x female reader

Genre/warnings: badboy au, fluff, a little bit of angst, a lil mention of blood

Word count: 2,425

Summary: Physically, you and your boyfriend have everything in common -- you’re both tall, covered in tattoos and piercings, and you look absolutely intimidating. However, where Rowoon exudes confidence and break the rules, you’re the exact opposite of that, being shy and never straying from what you’re told. It’s something nobody expects from somebody who looks like you, but Rowoon adores you exactly how you are.

a/n: all I can think about lately is that one part in Mamma Mia where they’re all on the bleachers looking like a bunch of dudes from Grease and Rowoon really fucks me up thx (also was talking to @neverknewgrey2016 about a girl that’s a softy but covered in tattoos and this idea sprouted ig)

The motorcycle’s engine died down, Rowoon’s feet planted on the pavement. He took off his helmet as you got off the back of his bike, taking off your own and tucking it under your arm. You shook out your helmet hair before you noticed Rowoon staring at you with a smirk.

“What?” you asked, cheeks already turning pink.

Rowoon had been very blunt with you since day one, only toning it down just enough to make you feel comfortable when he realized you weren’t like him -- you looked like you’d be like him, but you couldn’t have been more opposite. So it wasn’t odd for your boyfriend to look you up and down and smile to himself like he was. He was never quiet about thinking you were the most stunning thing he’d ever seen.

Like Rowoon, you were pretty intimidating in terms of looks. You had the piercings, the tattoos, the height, the signature leather jacket -- the only thing you were missing was his confidence and ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude. That was why Rowoon had blatantly hit on you when he first met you, backing you up against a wall and giving you his signature smirk while he implied he take you home that night.

The way your whole face turned red, your eyes widened, and you stuttered out a “w-what” had him quickly realizing you were very different from what he thought. But he really liked that about you.

“Nothing,” he told you, meeting your eyes before he stood and swung his leg off the bike. He was only taller than you by a few inches, but he would stand right in front of you just to make you feel even tinier than him. He lifted his hand not holding his helmet and brushed his thumb against your cheek. “Can’t believe you still blush like that around me.”

You knew people were staring -- people always stared because nobody understood how Rowoon managed to get and keep a girlfriend -- but all you could focus on was Rowoon so close to you. You’d been dating for almost a year, but he still had such an affect on you. He was surprised you still got this flustered, and even you were surprised you did. You definitely felt safe and calm around him, but when he looked at you with that little smirk or got this close to you -- hell, even complimenting you made your cheeks tint pink.

“You make it hard not to,” you mumbled, lightly pushing his hand away out of embarrassment. “I’m gonna be late for class.”

“You’re cute,” he smiled, leaning down slightly to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll pick you up in a few hours, okay? I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you replied like you always did with a soft smile.

Rowoon put his index fingers under the straps of your backpack, giving them a playful tug before he put his helmet back on -- the helmet that you always forced him to wear, actually. He gave you a wink as he got back on his bike and started it up again, ignoring the stares of the people nearby. Rowoon was pretty infamous for getting into fights, getting kicked out of school, and then carrying on with his bad habits. So seeing him drop off his girlfriend who had never done a single bad thing but still looked equally as scary was definitely a sight for some people.

“Have a good day, baby,” he said before he sped off down the street, you and a handful of others watching him disappear off the campus.

“You know,” Rowoon began as the two of you laid out on the rooftop of his apartment building where he’d set up a romantic dinner date to watch the stars, “you’re my perfect girl.”

You scoffed, reaching over to shove at his arm even though your cheeks were heating up quickly, “You’re just saying that because we’re dating.”

“No, I mean it!” he insisted, a bright smile on his face as he turned his head to look at you instead of the sky. “I’ve been physically attracted to girls like me, but emotionally... I’ve realized how difficult I am to put up with, I’ll just say that.”

“You’re not nearly as bad as you think you are,” you reassured him. “If I didn’t want to ‘deal’ with you, I wouldn’t.”

“I’m just amazed I got lucky enough to find somebody who’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” he sighed contently, giving you a lopsided smile, “physically and personalty-wise. You’re like those girls in stories and anime and stuff.”

“Huh...?”

“The girls who look intimidating and scary but are just big shy softies.”

You let out a happy gasp, eyes sparkling even more than the stars in the sky, “I’ve always wanted to be like that!”

Rowoon chuckled at how excited you got, “Is that why you got the tattoos and stuff?”

“Partly,” you shrugged, looking down at the sleeve of tattoos that covered your right forearm. “I just think tattoos are really pretty. It’s like art for your body, and I like the way it looks. I did it for me and for the aesthetic of the trope.”

Rowoon’s laugh was warm and fond and genuinely happy, his eyes crinkling as he looked at you, “I love you, please don’t ever change.”

Your heart stopped and sped up all at the same time as your eyes widened and your lips parted in surprise. Neither of you had ever said that to the other before, but Rowoon had said it so casually that it was like he’d loved you forever.

Noticing your expression, Rowoon sat himself up on his arm closest to you and used his other hand to reach over and cup your cheek. He smiled down at you, loving how flustered you looked from his confession.

“I love you, _____,” he repeated, his calloused thumb stroking over the skin of your cheekbone.

Your hand moved on its own, reaching up to cup Rowoon’s face and bring it closer to yours, declaring, “I love you, too, Rowoon.”

Before his lips met yours, his face broke out into a wide smile, “Do you really?”

“I do.”

And then he gave you the sweetest kiss you’d ever experienced. And you didn’t leave that rooftop until sunrise.

You walked out of your building and went toward the sidewalk that Rowoon usually picked you up from. It wasn’t too far from your building, so you never really had to worry about walking alone, even when it was later in the day. He was always on time, too, which made you feel better.

“Oh!” you stopped when you noticed a little ball of black and grey fur huddled up by the side of the building. You squatted down, feeling your heart melt hearing the small meow coming from the kitten that was pacing the same two feet of space along the building. You held out your arm, lightly snapping your fingers to try to coax the kitten toward you. “Hey, little guy. C’mere, it’s okay.”

The kitten looked toward your hand and slowly walked forward until it’s little pink nose barely brushed against your fingertips. You let it sniff around you as much as it wanted, including it leaping over to your jacket that you had tied around your waist and playing with the material that laid against the ground now.

Your pure little moment was ruined abruptly when you heard a motorcycle engine rev loudly, scaring the kitten off. You frowned, standing up and turning around to see Rowoon smiling from his bike, patting the space behind him.

“You big jerk!” you pouted as you jogged over.

Even though you’d insulted him, Rowoon couldn’t help but smirk. You just looked so innocent somehow when you were pouting like that.

“What?” he laughed.

“There was a stray kitten and I wanted to get it to trust me so I could bring it home,” you explained, letting Rowoon take your helmet from under your arm and secure it on your head. “You scared it off with your motorcycle.”

“If you want a kitten, I’ll get you one,” he promised.

As you got on the bike and wrapped your arms around his waist, you grumbled about how you wanted that kitten. He just shook his head in amusement before speeding off toward home.

Sometimes when Rowoon said that he was leaving for a few minutes, he meant it. He often took trips down to the corner store to get snacks, drinks, tampons, or anything else you might need. He was back within ten minutes tops. But there were times where “I’ll be back in a few” meant he was going out and wouldn’t be back until later that night.

The thing was Rowoon was that even thought you saw the good in him and saw the soft side of him, he was still partly the Rowoon everybody knew -- well, the one they thought they knew. He still went out to bars, got into fights, and caused trouble. You didn’t like it, he knew you didn’t like it, but old habits were hard to kick, and you understood that. You knew it would have to take time for him to stop, but you also couldn’t control what he did. So cleaning him up when he’d stumble through the door was a regular thing for you.

Like tonight.

You were sitting on the couch, watching TV in some cotton shorts and one of Rowoon’s t-shirts when you heard the door unlock. You turned off the TV and stood up from the couch, walking to the hall to meet your boyfriend. He looked up from kicking off his shoes, sporting a bloody nose, a bruised cheek, and a sorry look in his eyes.

“Please don’t give me the disappointed look,” he whined.

“I’m not,” you told him, and you really weren’t. But he was expecting it because you’d given it to him before. “Where’re you hurt?”

“Mostly just my face,” he shrugged. “Couple scratches on my arms.”

As he spoke, your eyes raked him over, landing on a place where his pants had ripped at the knee. They didn’t have a rip when he left, and he definitely didn’t have red spilling onto to his jeans to make them a darker color, either. Rowoon’s eyes followed your own, lifting his leg and bending his knee, hissing at the pain.

“Okay, and my leg,” he added.

“Come here,” you sighed, gesturing for him to follow you to the bathroom.

As Rowoon limped his way there, you got out the first aid kit that you learned to keep stocked with cotton balls and bandages. Rowoon sat himself on the sink, carefully placing his bag in the sink before discarding his jacket and his shirt. Now you could see that his arms were pretty scratched up, but his torso was thankfully fine.

You got to work, doing your usual routine. You cleaned out the wounds, softly apologizing when Rowoon would hiss at the sting.

“You’re gonna give me lots of kisses after this to make up for it, right?” he asked with a smirk in his voice.

“You’re the dummy who went out and got yourself in a fight,” you told him plainly as you stood up from where you were on your knees to clean out the cut on Rowoon’s knee. “It’s your own fault.”

“When did you get so ballsy?” he asked, letting his hands rest on your hips as you stood between his legs to dab at the drying blood under his nose. “You never call me out -- just sigh and give disappointing looks.”

You frowned, forgetting cleaning his face and letting your hands rest on his bare broad shoulders, “I don’t want you going out and getting hurt for no reason anymore, Rowoon.”

“This time wasn’t for no reason!” he insisted.

You raised your eyebrows, “Then what happened?”

He sighed, his eyes drifting down to the exposed skin of your chest -- the collar of his shirt was way too big for you, “You’ve been talking about that stray cat for the last three days, so I wanted to try to find it. I ran into some guys who don’t really like me on campus, but I didn’t want to just leave because I knew you wanted that specific cat.”

“Rowoon, you got yourself beaten up over a cat you didn’t even find?” you asked.

“But I did find it,” he stated plainly, looking up at you with doe eyes.

Your head cocked to one side. Rowoon smirked and held up a finger before he moved you backwards for him to stand. He turned and flipped open his bag that was resting in the sink, pushing the material down to reveal the tiny head of the kitten that he’d scared off before.

“It was kind of awkward because after fighting those guys and, y’know, winning,” he began as he carefully picked the kitten up out of the bag and cradled it to his chest, “I had to get this little guy to trust me enough to let me take him with me. So I was trying to get him to be less afraid while there were two guys groaning on the ground behind me.”

“Rowoon,” you cooed, your heart absolutely melting seeing your boyfriend who looked like an absolute badass right now with his bare, toned torso and the little cuts on his skin holding this tiny little kitten with such care, “you didn’t have to find him for me.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” he said as he handed the kitten off to you. “I want to make you as happy as I possibly can since you have to deal with me.”

You frowned at him in a scolding way, “What do I keep telling you about me dealing with you?”

“I know, but...” he just shrugged as he trailed off. He put an arm around you, watching fondly as you cuddled the sleepy kitten. “How about we go lay in bed with the newest member of our little family?”

You looked away from the kitten to look up at him, “But I didn’t put bandages on you yet.”

“Just give me as many kisses as I want and I’ll be fine,” he smirked, leaning down and nudging your nose with his.

He saw how your cheeks turned red, and he laughed quietly. He really would never get tired of that.

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fckeverything-v · 4 years

Text

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

47. What are you scared of? Heights.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

75. What is your life story in 6 words?

76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

81. Spirit animal?

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

99. What languages can you speak? English

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

103. Favorite food? Soul food

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

144. Prized possession(s)? little things

145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

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formerprincess · 5 years

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A tale written with fangs and claws || Chapter 50

Chapters: 50/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Nolan (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alpha Liam Dunbar, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Dunbar Pack, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Werewolf Theo Raeken, Alpha Theo Raeken, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Mates, Liam and Theo are mates, Top Theo Raeken, Bottom Theo Raeken, Top Liam, Bottom Liam Dunbar Series: Part 1 of Morning Dew Pack

New adversaries show their faces in town and the core pack gets some valuable insight from no other than Peter Hale himself. In the end, Liam has to make a decision that breaks his heart.

Liam came down the stairs and made his way over to the coffee maker to fill himself a cup full of the tasty drink. The only other person in the kitchen was Nolan who sat perched at the kitchen island and read a magazine. “Good morning,” Liam greeted. “Morning,” Nolan replied but continued to read. Out of curiosity, Liam glanced at the article that had captured his friend’s attention so much. “20 signs he’s into you?” He read out loud and Nolan jumped. He dropped the magazine (one of Sadie’s as Liam realized) on the counter and squeaked. “I was just curious!” “About what exactly? How you detect someone liking you?” Nolan looked like he really wanted to lie but then decided to be honest instead. He sighed gravely. “Yeah.”

Liam narrowed his eyes. Now he was on a case since he remembered a similar talk a few days prior. “Is there someone you would want to like you?” “Maybe,” Nolan said evasively. “And is this somebody a tall werewolf who works in a flower shop?” Nolan squeaked again. “Are you that good or do you have cameras around? Or is it in my chemosignals? Please don’t say it’s the latter because that would mean he can smell it too and I would probably die of embarrassment!” “Relax! Your chemosignals are fine. I’m just that good.” Liam grinned. “To be fair, I was just assuming and you confirmed I was right.” “Oh.” Nolan looked stunned. “You got sneaky!” Liam chuckled and shrugged. “Sorry, not sorry. So you like Brett. That’s awesome. You should absolutely ask him on a date.” “Hah! Hah! No!” Nolan shook his head. “If he says No I will be humiliated and would have disturbed the pack dynamic. No way, Jose!” “And if he says yes?” Nolan shook his head again. “Nope. My imagination is not big enough for that!” “Oh my god!" Liam could not with these two. They were both ridiculous. Had he and Theo been that ridiculous before they started dating?

“Just go and ask him, Nolan, I’m sure it will be fine!” The hunter tapped at the magazine. “According to this article, Brett is not into me! That settles it and I can spare myself the humiliation.” “Those articles are garbage.” “Don’t let Sadie hear it, those are basically her bible.” “You both are being ridiculous! You for believing that shit and she for even subscribing to it!” But Nolan held his ground and grabbed the magazine. “I won’t ask him out!” He declared and then left the kitchen in the direction of the living room. Liam groaned.

Theo entered the kitchen just as his boyfriend considered locking Brett and Nolan into a tiny room together. “Good morning, baby.” “Good morning.” Liam popped his elbow on the counter and put his chin on the palm of his hand. “I am so happy I never had to ask you out.” Theo had opened the fridge but now closed it without taking something out. “A part of me feels insulted,” he declared. “No! I meant I’m happy I never had to worry if you would say yes before I asked you. I just acted and it worked out fine. I’m happy it did, obviously.” The First Beta stepped on the other side of the kitchen island and braced his arms on top of it. “Is there a special reason why you’re talking about this?” “Nolan and Brett are driving me nuts. I trust you to keep quiet about it so I’m telling you. Brett likes Nolan and Nolan likes Brett but both are too chicken shit to do something about it because Liam you are absolutely crazy and what are you even thinking?” “And you’re the only one who knows about it,” Theo realized. Liam grinned innocently. “Now you know as well.” “I’m not helping you setting our friends up. I’m not good at playing matchmaker, puppy.” “We could do it the Thiam way!” “The Thiam way would mean one of them becoming an Alpha and making the other his Beta, gaining a pack, let the Betas gain control, and then just kiss the other. I doubt you can recreate the Thiam way.” Liam sulked and Theo chortled. He walked around the island and wrapped his arms around Liam. “Our way is pretty unique, little Alpha, and I am happy about it. It was perfect for us and nobody else.” He was right, Liam realized, and he just nodded and leaned in to brush his lips against Theo’s. “My logical Beta is right like so often. Doesn’t it get boring to be right so many times?” “Nope,” Theo smirked and kissed Liam again.

****** “The giraffe baby was so cute. It’s still a baby but already so tall. I like the dots the giraffes have and how they walk.” “The dots are amazing but I also liked the seals. How they played in the water was really entertaining.” “Thank you for taking me to the zoo, Liam.” Liam squeezed Landon’s shoulder. “Anytime, buddy.” They just came home from a fun day at the zoo, just the two of them. Liam had promised Landon a day where it was just the two brothers doing stuff and Landon had wanted to go to the zoo. It had been an amazing day.

They now entered the pack house. Tim sat in the living room and read a comic. Now he raised his head and smiled at them. “Hey, you two, how has your trip been?” “It was so funny. We could see how the lions got fed and then we watched the seals play around and there was a giraffe baby. The meerkats got a new compound and we saw rhinos and elephants. Liam bought me some things at the zoo shop and look at that.” Landon showed Tim a picture of the two brothers they had taken on one of those picture machines set all around the zoo. It had a cheetah patterned frame and the zoo mascot in the right upper corner. Landon and Liam both had a picture and Landon proudly showed his copy while Liam’s was currently sitting in his bag. “It was really fun. Here, we made some videos.” The young Alpha pulled his phone out of his jeans and opened his video folder. “This one was in front of the hyena habitat.” He started the video. Liam had filmed the habitat with the animals chilling in the sun or gnawing at some flesh and bones they got fed earlier on and then the camera panned around, showed Landon watching the hyenas and then Liam had filmed himself waving at the camera. In the background, you suddenly heard the hyenas laughing. “It was so funny, I never heard those sounds before. I know people said hyenas laugh but I seriously never heard it until now. Listen to that,” Liam explained to Tim right as Lori walked in, munching on a sandwich.

Suddenly Tim pointed at the phone. “They laugh like this annoying group!” He exclaimed loudly. Everybody stared at him. It was weird seeing the usual quiet Tim being so agitated. “Is this normal or scary?” Landon asked and looked at Liam. “Right now he's scaring me,” Liam replied and made a face. “Remember how I told you about this group with their loud and obnoxious laughs? They sounded just like the hyenas!” “Laughing like a hyena? Isn’t this something people sometimes say?” Lori shrugged her shoulders and took another bite from her sandwich. “Where’s the big deal?” “It’s not a big deal but when you hear this over and over it gets annoying. And it wasn’t just alike, it sounded exactly like those animals in Liam’s video.” “I’m sure about the annoying part. It was fun at the zoo but having a group of people doing it? That gets old very fast,” Liam agreed with it. “I’m the last person to trash talk somebody’s habits or whatever but that was just plain weird,” Tim defended himself. “I know you’re not making fun of anybody. When you notice something unusual about somebody else it is just normal to react. And if it’s an annoying habit, it’s only more noticeable.” Liam smiled at his Beta. Tim really was one of the nicest people he knew. So when he said something, it must have been absolutely annoying.

****** "Ten bucks saying the housemaid killed the wife,” Theo betted from his place on the couch. He was rested with his head against Liam’s chest and the couple watched some sort of detective series Corey had dug out. It was an old one but Corey liked old movies and series and had convinced the others to watch it with him.

Not all members of the pack were there though. The girls had decided on a girls night out and had dressed up to go out and dance the night away. Landon was at a friend’s house and stayed the night there as well so the guys could watch some movies about murder without worrying about a child seeing something he was not supposed to see.

Liam now gave his boyfriend an amused look and reached into Theo’s lap where the bowl of popcorn was placed. He grabbed a handful and threw some into his mouth to chew on it. “I’m saying it was the wife’s sister,” Caden betted against Theo. “Now it’s getting interesting! Okay, I accept. Let’s see who wins.” Theo took some of the popcorn Liam had gathered for himself, ignored the Alpha’s noises of protest, and put it in his mouth. He chewed and smirked at Caden. “What if you both are wrong?” Mason asked. “Then they both keep their money and everyone is happy,” Liam decided and ran his hand through Theo’s hair. His mate leaned his head back and enjoyed the soft treatment. “Hmm, sounds fair,” he mumbled and Liam chuckled. “If you’re getting handsy, I’m leaving,” Tim warned from his place at the floor. “Hey, be happy we have an Alpha couple that is that much in love and shows it like this. I met packs where the Alpha kept such a strict grip on their SO, it was clear there was no love and just fear. I rather have them get handsy and lovey-dovey than Theo cowering in front of Liam and never see them touching,” Brett suddenly said. He was curled up in one of the settles and had his arms wrapped around a pillow. Liam had tried to sit him and Nolan next to each other in the beginning, but Nolan ended up on the other couch with Corey and Mason. “Really?” Tim craned his neck to look at Brett. “Yeah.” The tall werewolf nodded. “Some Alphas are... let’s call it what it is, they’re assholes and control freaks. Their Betas are not allowed to do much and they have to follow strict rules. Of course, that also applies to the Alpha’s mate.” “I can’t imagine that. Especially after knowing these two.” Corey jabbed his thumb in the direction of Liam and Theo. Liam had listened to the conversation but wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. He couldn’t imagine ordering Theo around as well. Not only because it would never work with Theo’s character but also because he saw Theo as his equal. And when Theo submitted to him because he wanted to, it was beautiful and intimate and just for the two of them. Liam would never take advantage of it.

“I honestly never thought about what kind of Alpha I wanted to be. A good one, yes, but I never really considered what that would entail. I just went with my gut feeling. You guys made it easy for me and now we have the wonderful pack we have,” he praised his Betas. “You’re sweet, Liam, but we all know we didn’t make it easy for you. Some of us gave you a run for your money,” Mike retorted. “Okay, yes, but that also shaped me as an Alpha. And you all came around in the end. Sadie, you, Tim, Brett. I’m happy about that.” “We realized what you and the pack offered was a family, something some of us never really knew. That’s why.” Mike shrugged and Brett hummed affirmatively. “Heartwarming but, guys, the detective is about to solve the case.” Corey pointed at the screen and immediately had everyone’s attention. They watched the man on screen reconstruct the crime and when he was about to announce the killer, the front door flew open and the girls came in.

“You won’t believe what happened!” Sadie called out but was shushed by Caden and Theo. “Shh, I’m about to win ten dollars!” Both said at the same time and the blonde blinked owlishly. Then she glanced at the screen and scoffed. “Stop that video, what we have to say is important!” “Really, guys, you need to hear this,” Lori backed Sadie up while Maya and Ever nodded. Corey sighed but then pressed the pause button. “Okay, we’re all ears,” he said. “So, we’re at this club and it’s not completely empty but not overly crowded either. You had to wait a while for your drinks but that’s fine. Music was good and we talked while we waited. But there were those two girls who acted absolutely entitled and like the world belonged to them. One asked the barkeeper something and she didn’t like what he answered so they started to argue.” Sadie was completely riled up and talked fastly. “All of sudden, she reaches over the bar, grabs one of the glasses there, and slams it over his head. Just like that. It was like a scene from a bad soap opera.” “What?” The boys could not believe that. It seemed like something from a bad movie. “And here’s the thing why we’re telling you this: Not only were they aggressive as hell but when she turned to look at her friend, their eyes flashed. Just not like a werewolf’s eyes,” Maya added to the story. “What do you mean not like a werewolf?” Theo inquired. “Well, a wendigo’s eyes are white, right? A werewolf’s eyes are golden. Their eyes looked like a mixture of these two. Very pale and almost impossible to make out a color.” Now Ever took over. “The friend of the girl looks at Sadie and goes: Out of my way, Blondie, or I will claw your face off. And then the girls plus three guys who belonged with them stormed off.” “You all know I can get angry,” Sadie said, “But they were completely off the rails. Their chemosignals basically glowed with aggression. It was crazy.” “Thankfully every other patron thought the light in the club had been the reason for their eyes looking strange. That way we didn’t have mass panic,” Lori summed it up. “So what? We now have to worry about a group of unknown weres on top of somebody watching us and trying to run us over by car?” Caden questioned and they all looked at each other quite unsure. Corey hummed. “I wouldn’t care about them, to be honest. Seattle is a big city, only logical we’re not the only supernaturals here. This is not Beacon Hills and even in Beacon Hills, there were other supernaturals not in contact with the McCall Pack. If the other weres can’t keep their emotions in check and lash out, it’s not our problem. Sure, if we meet them again we might interfere and try to talk to them, but in the end, it’s their business. We have enough on our plate already.” Mason stared at him in wonder. “Wow, you're usually all about helping others.” “I am but how high are the chances any of us will meet this group again? It was one club in the city, it didn’t even happen in our closest environment. There are other packs out there except we are not the police for the supernaturals. They have to keep themselves in check and we have to worry about our pack. Landon may call us Avengers but we are not. It was fine back home but this city is just too large to police every other supernatural running around. And Caden already named it, we still haven’t figured out who wanted to run Liam over and who’s watching us. That is more important than some crazy were-creature.” Corey had a valid point. Theo nodded. “What we can do is call Chris Argent. Maybe he can check on that. It’s his profession, right?” “Who is Chris Argent?” Caden inquired. “He’s a hunter but a hunter only hunting the supernaturals posing as a threat for humans and good supernaturals. He’s on our side. I will try to get a hold off him tomorrow,” Liam explained.

****** Getting a hold off Chris Argent wasn’t that much of a problem. The problem was that he was busy with another werewolf problem somewhere in Canada. When Liam called to alert him of some supernaturals causing troubles in Seattle, he sighed brokenly and Liam could basically see the frown on the man’s face. “I will be honest with you, Liam, compared to what I’m about to deal with here, this sounds like child’s play. Doesn’t mean it’s not important but I’m currently hunting a group of werewolves who killed an entire party. Not one single person survived the attack. I hope the barkeeper will get well soon and I promise you I will check on it as soon as I can but for right now, I trust you to deal with the problem. Is that alright with you?” Really, what was Liam supposed to answer? That sounded really bad and clearly needed Argent’s attention. He had monitored the daily news in Seattle and no new reports about strange attacks or something surfaced so maybe it just had been one were on the loose. “Yeah, we can handle it, don’t worry. Just be careful up there.” “I have a backup, don’t worry,” Argent said grimly and ended the call. Liam sighed but then grabbed his gym back and met Mason by his car. He had promised his best friend a round of good training and that’s where they were heading now.

“We’re all on our own, okay. We handled wendigoes and psychotic witches, we can handle that as well. Or do you want to call Scott and ask for help?” Mason asked after Liam filled him in. “Help with what? There was one girl going crazy in a club and aside from the flashing eyes nothing supernatural happened. To call Scott to town would honestly be a bit too dramatic, don’t you think? Also, I’m the Alpha and don’t need another Alpha’s help with that.” Liam shook his head. “True. I have the utmost faith in you. You will manage whatever this turns out to be. You’re quite good at saving the day.” Liam laughed. “Thanks. Means a lot coming from you.”

The best friends joked around during the ride to the gym and even when they got out of the car. They made their way to the entrance when the door opened and a guy stepped out. He was bulky, had almost no neck, and a buzzcut. His skin was leathery and Liam would highly advise him to stop tanning so much if he had a say in this. When the guy left the gym he bumped into Mason. Mason huffed at the impact and even staggered a few steps back. “Whoa, dude!” The dude glared at him. “Don’t get into my way and you don’t have to worry about a thing,” he snapped at Mason and then continued his way over the parking lot. Liam and Mason stared after him. “The effects steroids have on people,” Mason grumbled and dusted off his shirt. He noticed Liam still staring after the guy. “Come on, don’t blow up, I’m fine.” But Liam shook his head. “It’s not that. I mean, I could kick his ass for being so rude to you but something about this guy was strange. His scent was strange.” “How so?” Mason asked curiously. “Don’t know. Since I learned to work with my wolf and pay closer attention to the world around me, there are some people whose scent is just off. Not just their chemosignals, just their natural scent. It’s off.” “In Germany, they say Jemanden nicht riechen können, which literally translates to not being able to smell somebody. It means you can’t stand a person. It’s very fitting.” The twenty-year-old gave Mason an amused look. “Always teaching me new things. How do you remember all this stuff?” “How do you remember historic stuff?” Mason asked back and laughed. He slung one arm around Liam’s shoulders. “Come on, the gym is waiting for us!”

****** Liam fried some meat in a pan and at the same time gave instructions to Mason. His best friend helped him in the kitchen tonight and Theo was currently laying the dinner table in the dining room. Again there were only Liam and his Betas, Landon was with a friend again. The two boys had a school project together and Landon would stay the night at his friend’s house. Liam would pick him up tomorrow. “The chicken is ready, I think we can already gather the others. Guys, dinner’s ready!!” Liam swayed the pan and carried it over to the table. Mason followed with the salad. The rest of the pack gradually filtered into the dining room and took their places. One look at the table and Liam realized they were missing the salad dressing and the tortillas for the wraps they were making. “I’ll help you get the tortillas,” Mason stated and followed Liam back into the kitchen where he grabbed the tortillas. Liam walked over to the fridge to get the dressing but then haltered in his movements.

He had pinned his copy of the picture Landon and him took at the zoo to the fridge and now that he looked at it, remembered something. “Something’s wrong?” He heard Mason ask behind him. Liam looked over his shoulder and pointed at the picture. “Remember the rude guy at the gym yesterday? I said his scent was off. It reminded me of something but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just remembered. I caught the same smell at the zoo, only stronger. One of the habitats smelled like that.” He opened the fridge and grabbed the dressing. “You know which habitat it was? The hyenas’ habitat.” Liam closed the door again and Mason gave him an impressive look. “You sure?” “I am absolutely sure,” Liam confirmed while the friends walked back into the dining room. “What are you absolutely sure of?” Theo had overheard the last part of their conversation and now was eager to get an answer. “The guy at the gym yesterday, his scent was the same as the one surrounding the hyenas’ habitat at the zoo.”

“Uhm, that’s nice, baby?” They all looked at Liam like he had lost his mind and he realized they could absolutely not follow him or get why this was worth talking about. He didn’t know it himself. But something told him, it was worth mentioning. Tim came to Liam’s aid. “See? You meet a guy smelling like a hyena, I meet a group laughing like hyenas. Coincidence? I think not!” “Or maybe, and I’m just putting this out there, you two are just a tiny bit neurotic and need to lay down for a while?” Mike interfered. “Who cares how people laugh or smell?” Mason looked from Tim to Liam. “Your mind is reeling. You’ve got that look on your face, like always when you’re piecing something together. What are you thinking about?”

Liam would admit freely he wasn’t the brightest and there were other people smarter and more intelligent than him in this pack. But every now and then his mind got on a roll and he came up with a theory. Sometimes crazy but no matter the times, his theories always managed to capture Liam’s interest. He just had a hard time voicing his thoughts, so he shrugged. “We have a group of unknown weres in the city. People smell like a certain animal and even laugh like that animal. Do were-hyenas exist?” He finally concluded lamely, put the dressing on the table and sat down.

His friends laughed, except for Theo, who just stared at him. “You might not be wrong,” the twenty-two-year-old finally said calmly. “What?” When everybody laughed, Liam had realized how ridiculous that had sounded and already discarded the thought. It had been dumb anyway. But that Theo took it serious surprised him. “We know there are different kinds of weres. Wolves, coyotes, chameleons, jaguars, lions. Who says there aren’t more we know nothing about? Also, keep in mind, there is a group of unknown weres running around. I wouldn’t pass the possibility of them being were-hyenas completely aside.” “Theo, I was just making a silly comment. There are no such things as were-hyenas.” “You said that about werewolves once too.” Liam’s eye twitched. Theo beat him at his own game and used Liam’s own history and arguments against him. He didn’t like it one bit. Mason had to help! “Mase, did you ever came across were-hyenas during your studies?” Mason shook his head. “No, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. We both know this is not really a science, Lee.” “See,” Liam crooned triumphantly but then his face faltered. “Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!” “I am on your side, you both are saying the same thing.” “Oh and if you didn’t read about them who could possibly help us?” Liam asked sarcastically. “Scott maybe?” Nolan offered from his place. “Or he could ask Deaton.”

If Liam was honest with himself, he was kind of curious if he had been right. If he had been, he could chalk it up as one of the little times he had been right on the first try. So he went to fetch his cellphone and called Scott while he returned to the dining room again. Scott picked up after the fourth ring. “Liam, hello!” “Hey, Scott, I hope I’m not disturbing you or something. You’re on speaker, by the way, the pack can hear you too.” “Hello, guys! No, you’re not disturbing, I’m just at Derek’s loft, having pizza with Malia.” “Hello, stranger!” Malia called from the background while Liam’s Betas also greeted Scott and Malia. “Scott, I’ll make it quick, it’s just a tiny question. Do you know if there are other types of weres out there than we already know?” Liam questioned and Scott was silent for a while. “Aside from wolves, coyotes, jaguars and such?” “Aside from them, yeah,” Theo confirmed. “I don’t know. I never met other types than the ones we knew. Not in Beacon Hills and not anywhere else. Has this something to do with you calling Chris, Liam?” “We’re trying to figure this out ourselves. See, we had some encounters all around the city that makes us think there might be were-hyenas. They share certain traits with the animals, the people we met, and since there is a group of unknown weres in the city, it was just a silly thought. Maybe you could have helped us but we will figure it out ourselves.” “What do they smell like?” Malia asked. Scott seemingly had also put the call on speaker. “Like the hyena habitat in the zoo, just a bit fainter.” “I never met someone smelling like a hyena. It must smell weird.” “It does smell weird,” Liam agreed with her on that one. “Maybe it’s just us getting a bit paranoid. There are always things happening and we’re looking for an explanation. We’re probably just throwing everything together while in reality, it’s completely unrelated.” Liam was backpedaling. His theory had been silly from the start and that it was now turning into this expert talk was embarrassing for Liam.

“You should probably ask somebody who actually knows things.” Liam jumped in his seat when the voice of no other than Peter Hale came through the speakers. “Oh yeah, Peter is here too,” Scott cheerfully announced. “Yeah, thanks for the heads up,” Liam mumbled. “You said we should ask somebody who knows things. Figured you’re talking about yourself, hm?” Theo now asked Peter. Peter chuckled lowly. “I suppose you could continue to ask around, maybe someone else can give you the answer in a few months. Probably years. Yeah, years is more likely.” “You do not know the answers to all questions of the universe,” Malia snubbed but her father ignored her. “I’m in a good mood today so I will share part of my knowledge with you. Gather round, children, this will be educational.” “He sounds like an adult Theo sometimes,” Sadie noticed. Theo stared indignantly at her. “What did I ever do to you?” “Shh,” Liam hissed. He wanted to hear what Peter was willing to share. “To answer your initial question: Yes, there are indeed were-hyenas out there. There are actually many kinds of weres out there, some you never heard of. Tigers, bears, leopards, just to name a few. That’s where the problem starts. You must understand, there is a hierarchy between the weres. On top are the strong ones like wolves or lions, us wolves being the better species obviously.” Malia growled lowly in the background. Peter ignored his daughter. “For most weres this is fine but there are some of the lower weres who feel cheated about their place in the food chain. Some coyotes share this mindset but they are mostly loners so they rarely act out on this, but hyenas, for example, clearly belong to the ones unsatisfied with their stance. They have a deep-rooted hatred for the ones standing above them and they live to cause trouble for them.” “Define trouble,” Corey cut in sharply. “All kinds of stuff. Hyenas live to cause havoc, they’re belligerent, aggressive, and they want to change the hierarchy in their favor. In order to do that, nothing is off limits for them. They’re dangerous, mostly because they are shifty.” “So trouble could mean watching someone from the shadows and trying to run an Alpha over with a car?” Maya guessed. Scott shrieked. “Somebody tried to run you over with a car??” “I’m fine, Scott,” Liam called out. “Peter, since you know so much about hyenas, do you know anything about how they attack? It would be good to know that to be prepared.” “They won’t attack you. They are cowards. Hyenas are always in a group and rarely alone but even as a group they would not attack a werewolf, less alone a pack of wolves. They will continue to make your life difficult until they lose interest and leave town again. That’s what they do. You surely can fight them but if hyenas are threatened, they will fight back and they bite. They fight unfair, that you should be worried about. Little ankle biters. Nasty creatures. They will search for your weakness and use it against you.” “So your advice is to do nothing and ride it out?” Sadie needed clarification. “I’m not telling you what to do. I admit, seeing you get pummeled by a pack of hyenas would be hilarious to see. Don’t give me that look, Scott, your former Beta is not the most impressive Alpha around.” “I just don’t understand why they targeted us. You said they hate all wolves but we did nothing to them.” Tim could not wrap his head around that part. Peter sighed. “Your Alpha is very young, you all are. It makes sense they see you as less of a threat than a pack with an older, more experienced Alpha.” Liam gritted his teeth. He was getting tired of people underestimating him just because of his age. It was getting old. He may be young but he already had some accomplishments, okay? People needed to give him some credit. “Thank you, Peter. Scott, talk to you soon.” He ended the call and leaned back in his chair.

“What’s on your mind?” Theo asked and put a hand on Liam’s knee. “I’m pissed. Pissed at people assuming it is okay to target my pack because I’m just twenty years old and not the tallest guy on the field. I’m pissed because me being me brings problems to my pack. I hate it!” “Hey, no, this is not your fault. You heard what Peter said about hyenas. They are supernatural bullies and pick on who they deem weak because they feel picked on themselves,” Lori hurried to encourage her Alpha. “But they picked us because I’m just me,” Liam argued back. “And they will see how wrong they have been. We are strong, Liam, and we are because you are strong, Alpha. You hold us all together. They don’t know who they’re messing with,” Theo backed Lori up and squeezed Liam’s leg. “Let them come and make our life miserable, we will get through this. I mean, this wolf would love to snatch a hyena but I’m also okay with waiting until they come to us.” Sadie shrugged. “The question is if they come or if they continue to lurk in the shadows. To me, their behavior is absolutely not logical.” Mason shook his head. “Really? To me, it is very logical,” Theo answered, “I mean, step one was clearly just watching us. Step two is slowly making themselves known. They’re like we are here now, are you scared? and they will become more and more prominent, just to annoy us. There is a system behind. Maybe they think it intimidates us, who knows?” "It’s good that we now know what they are and what they want. It makes us more cautious. I still would say we continue with our lives as if nothing happened. If they want to tease us and get a reaction out of us, just doing what we normally do and ignoring they’re lurking might probably make them so mad they leave cause they didn’t get a rise out of us.” Corey, in his role as the consultant, always the voice of reason. “Uh, ignoring the problem until it goes away. I’m a fan of that,” Mike said jokingly. Liam was still pissed but even he had to admit Corey was right. Maybe this time they didn’t have to fight and could sit out the problem. Maybe one time they could have the luck on their side. He sincerely hoped so.

****** Liam strolled into the coffee shop and smiled. Theo was working the late shift on this day and he had decided to pay his boyfriend a little visit. Only three tables were occupied and nobody was ordering at the counter. Theo was wiping the machine but he stopped when Liam walked in and smiled at the young Alpha. “Is your boss still here?” Liam inquired. “Left an hour ago,” Theo informed and smirked. He rounded the corner to meet Liam there and wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “Good. So I can do that.” Liam grabbed Theo by the collar of his shirt and dragged him into a deep kiss. Theo’s hold on him tightened and he kissed Liam back with fervor. Theo’s boss would have probably yelled at them for making a disgusting scene but since she wasn’t here Liam saw no problem in kissing his boyfriend. The two elderly women at one table even whooped at them so they must give a nice picture.

The bell above the door announced new customers and several pair of steps told the Alpha couple a group had arrived. The steps stopped in front of the counter and suddenly a scornful scoff sounded up. The couple broke apart and turned their heads. The group’s members ware all about the same age as Liam; three guys, all looking like the newest issue of Rich White Guys and two girls, one with black hair and one brunette. The girls looked like they could give Blair Waldorf a run for her money. Literally, both could have been the main characters in Gossip Girl. Their outfits were expensive as hell, the brunette one had a designer bag hanging off her elbow, wore a plaided miniskirt, a white blouse with a yellow bow matching her skirt, and her makeup, as well as her manicure, was perfectly executed. She had her perfectly shaped eyebrow raised and looked Liam up and down, her full lips twisted in a sneery smirk.

“Can I help you?” Theo asked. “Want to order something?” She ignored him and rather addressed Liam. “You are the most unimpressive Alpha I’ve ever met.” Liam raised an eyebrow and let go of Theo. “Excuse me?” “I mean, you are so normal. We have class.” She pointed at her friends and herself. They all snickered maliciously. “Which makes me wonder even more why you wolves are on top while we have to scrape at the bottom.” It clicked who they were. “Oh, so you are the hyenas.” The black-haired girl nudged her friend. “Did you hear that? He knows who we are. Our reputation caught up with us.” The other girl laughed. “We are just that perfect.” “Oh come on, we had our fair share of arrogant women this year already,” Theo scolded. “Listen, I have no idea what your problem is, but I suggest you get a good therapist and leave us alone. We didn’t do anything so let us live in peace and be bitchy somewhere else.” The brunette one glared at him and raised her hand to press her fingers together at the tips. “Don’t talk to me ever again. You are nothing more than the Alpha’s bitch and you’re really not worth my time. I talk to the Alpha and the Alpha alone.” Liam growled. “Want to say those things about my mate again?” He snarled, ready to stalk over and slap her self-righteous smile off her face. But Theo held him back. “Liam, no. They’re not worth your breath.” The hyenas giggled and she continued to insult the couple. “Actually, you both are not worth my time. Just know this, we deserve to be at the top and we will do what it takes to get there. You wolves lived long enough on the sunny side, it’s our turn now. Be warned.” She flashed her eyes in the same pale, indescribable color Maya had told the pack about, then she turned around on her heels and the group marched out of the shop. Liam growled again, his wolf was ready to pounce. “Want to take this outside and see who will come up on top?” She just giggled again and then said something Liam didn’t quite get. “Sorry? What did you say?” She turned around in the doorway, a fake smile on her face. “I said your little brother is very cute.” Then she started laughing, alongside her friends, and left the shop. Tim had been right, they really laughed like their animalistic counterparts. Liam snarled and lunged forward but Theo wrapped both arms around his waist. “There are humans in the shop, there are humans in the shop,” he told Liam repeated and pulled him flush against his chest. Liam pressed his face against his mate’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Everything inside him screamed to run after her and rip her apart but Theo was right, he only would expose werewolves again. “I’m here. It’s okay,” Theo mumbled into his ear and stroked over his hair. Well, Liam wasn’t so sure of that.

****** He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. The night had been short, Liam didn’t sleep long, and then he had laid there and watched the light at the ceiling turn greyish pink and then brighter while the sun rose more and more. The encounter with the hyenas yesterday played in his mind like a broken record and he couldn’t shake it off. So he laid there and pondered about all the possibilities this could go while he played with the strands of his hair absentmindedly.

“You barely slept during the night. What’s on your mind?” Theo said softly. He laid on his side, facing Liam, and watched his boyfriend. Liam didn’t reply and kept in twisting his hair between his fingertips ere he sat up. “I made the decision to bring Landon out of town,” he announced brokenly. “What?” Theo sat up too and put a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “Why?” Liam braced his arms on his tucked up knees. When he now looked at Theo, he looked sad. “I have no idea what these hyenas are going to do. Peter said they’re going for our weaknesses. Landon is human and he is a child. I could never forgive myself if something happened to him. I can protect all of you but only to a certain point. I know you guys can take care of yourself but what is he supposed to do? No, I rather bring him out of town and know he is safe. The minute it’s safe to come back, I will get him again but for now, I have to make sure nothing happens to Landon.” “And where will you take him?” “The lake. There is no safer place for him than there.” Liam wiped his eyes. “I see if he’s awake and tell him to pack.” “Are you really sure about this, Lee?” “It’s the only option. Imagine them kidnapping him. He endured so much already in his young life, he doesn’t need another traumatic experience.” Theo seemed to understand. He gave him a comforting smile and kissed his cheek and then Liam rolled out of bed and left the room.

Liam slowly opened the door to Landon’s room after a soft knock and peeked inside. Landon said on the floor and solved a puzzle. When he spotted Liam, he smiled brightly. “Good morning!” “Good morning.” Liam stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. He smiled sadly. “Laddie, I need to talk to you.” “Sure.” Landon moved away from his puzzle and looked expectantly at his big brother. Liam felt his heart actually break a little bit. He needed to do this and he decided to not beat around the bush. He crouched down in front of Landon and put his hands on his baby brother’s shoulders. “I want you to know that I love you and I will never stop loving you. But there are bad people out there and I have to fight them. They are mean and very devious and I cannot let them continue. But I can only fight them when I know you are safe. You’re not safe when you’re staying in Seattle.” He exhaled loudly. “Therefore I have to bring you out of town, okay? To know you are safe there and I can fight the bad guys. Do you understand that?” Landon listened and his eyes filled with tears. “But I don’t want to leave you! Please, don’t send me away!” Liam felt his own eyes stinging with tears. “I want you around all the time but it is too dangerous for you right now! I promise you, as soon as the bad guys are gone, I’ll bring you back home. Please, don’t think I don't want you around. I love you so much, Landon, but I have to protect you. I need to protect you.” “Where are you taking me?” Lanson’s voice was quivering and he cried. “To a beautiful place. You meet the rest of my pack and they are awesome. You will love it there. It has a wonderful lake and nature around is just so amazing. I always loved being there. And again, as soon as it’s safe here again, I will take you back here.” Liam now cried as well and hugged his brother tightly. Landon clung to him. “Do you still love me, Liam?” “I will never stop loving you. You’re my little brother, we always stick together. And we will talk and video chat every day, okay? Just because we’re not together doesn’t mean we can’t talk. You can always call me. I want you to know that.” He felt Landon nod. “I know that. I love you, Liam. Why can’t we both live at the lake?” “I wish we could, Landon, but it’s not possible right now. I know this is all too much and happens so fast but somebody has to stop them.” They hugged for some moments longer and then they separated again. Liam smiled weakly. “Get dressed and I get dressed and then I will help you pack your stuff and then we will drive.” The young boy nodded and wiped his tears away. It was just as hard for him as it was for Liam.

The rest of the morning was quiet and solemn and when it was finally time for the brothers' departure all pack members hugged Landon and wished him the best. Liam helped Landon put his bags in his car and then Landon hopped in on the passenger seat. “I can come with you, support you,” Theo offered. “No, I need you here as Second Alpha when I’m gone in case those hyenas show their ugly faces. I will be okay.” Liam kissed his boyfriend goodbye and then got into the driver’s seat of his car. The pack had gathered in the driveway and they waved when the car slowly rolled into the street. Liam saw some of his Betas wiping away their tears. They all had become fond of Landon and it was hard letting him go, even if it was for his safety.

“Tell me about where you’re bringing me, please,” Landon prompted after they had been on the road for a while. “It’s a beautiful lake with woods around and the people live there in cozy cabins. It is actually where I became an Alpha after the former Alpha transferred his power to me. The rest of my pack lives there and you will come to love them as much as me. They are good people and I wouldn’t be the Liam I am today without them. They helped me a lot, mostly Byron, he is the former Alpha.” Liam glanced at Landon. “You know I’m not sending you away because I don’t want you around but because I want you to be safe, right?” “I know.” Landon looked out of the window. “It’s because of those stupid evil people.” “Yeah. As soon as they are defeated, I will bring you back home and we will do all the things we want. Going to the zoo again, the cinema, eating lots of ice cream. Everything you want.” Landon turned his head and looked at Liam. “You promise me this? That you come back?” “Of course. Hey, you are my little brother, I love to have you around.” He went for a comforting smile but Landon still didn’t seem sold. “I didn’t mean if you meant to come and get me. Do you promise me to come back and not die? Please, don’t die like mom.” It came as a shock to Liam that his brother was thinking in that direction. Then again, he should have seen it coming. He pulled his car to the side of the road and halted there. Once the vehicle stopped, Liam turned in his seat to face Landon. “I promise, no I swear, that I will come back to you. I won’t be dying for a long time. We have way too much stuff to do and adventures to experience for me to die soon. You’re not losing me that quickly.” Liam reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the little wooden wolf Byron had once gifted him. “Here. Byron gave me this wolf when I had a difficult time and now I want to give it to you. It means you’re never alone, I’m always with you, even though we are apart. And it can remind you of my promises to come back.” He held the wolf out and Landon took it with shaky hands. He turned it around and ran his fingers over the wood. “It’s beautiful. You really want to give me this? It was a gift to you.” “Byron won’t mind. He will understand why I gave it to you.” “Thank you, Liam.” The brothers hugged over the console and Liam kissed the top of Landon’s head.

****** Liam always loved arriving at the lake and no matter how often he went there, it never lost its beauty but today a big part of him just wished it wasn’t for such a sad reason to drop his brother off. He knew it was the right decision, Landon’s safety was the most important thing, but that didn’t mean it was any less hard. He parked in front of Byron’s and Lana’s house and got out of the car. Lana was in the front and tended to her flowers. Once she spotted Liam, she looked surprised. “Liam, I wasn’t aware you would be coming. Is everything okay?” “Hey, Lana.” He hugged her. “Is Byron there too?” “He is. Byron! Can you come here, please? Liam’s here!” She called into the open front door. Soon enough Byron appeared and he looked as confused as his wife. “Liam, always great to see you but your face tells me something is wrong.” The young Alpha looked back to his car. “Landon, it’s okay, you can come here.” The child slowly followed his invite and stepped around the car. He smiled shyly at Lana and Byron and finally grasped Liam’s hand. Liam focused on the former Alpha couple. “I told you about Landon when we last talked. I now need you to take my little brother in for a while. Please.” Lana switched from surprised to worried. “Maybe we should sit down and then you explain. Follow me, I have some fresh lemonade.”

And so the four of them found themselves in the living room and Liam explained everything to Lana and Byron. “I don’t know how serious she really was but what she said clearly targeted Landon and I’m not having it. I cannot be around Landon 24/7, none of us can, but I need him to be safe. If something happened to Landon, I would lose my freaking mind. Yes, sending him away hurts me but it is the best decision I can make at this point. I know, what I’m asking for has a huge impact on your life, but I don’t know where else to take him so he’s safe,” he finally ended. “Liam, when I asked you to become my successor and you agreed, it changed your entire life. There is nothing you could ask from us that would be too much. And we will happily give Landon a home and protect him while you take care of the hyenas,” Byron explained in his usual calm and collected ways. Landon smiled shyly. “Thank you. Your house is very nice, I like the colors. You surely won’t mind having me around?” “You are as polite and amazing as your brother so we will love to have you around,” Lana assured him. “You can have our guest room and we will get you some toys and things you need. I know the teacher of the local school, he can go there, we will take care of everything.” “I will give you the money for everything,” Liam offered immediately. Lana huffed. “Don’t be silly. We have that covered. You have other things to take care of right now.”

Liam smiled gratefully at her and she patted his knee. Then she smiled warmly at Landon. “Want me to introduce you to the pack and show you around?” Landon nodded but then glanced questioningly at Liam. The twenty-year-old nodded encouragingly. “Go ahead. I will stick around for a few hours before I drive back to Seattle.” His baby brother smiled. “Okay.” And then he followed Lana.

Byron and Liam followed a little bit behind.

“Will this ever get easier?” Liam asked the former Alpha. His heart was still breaking to know he would leave Landon behind. “Decisions like that? No,” Byron denied. “They only would get easier if you stopped caring, simply because you would not care enough to make them. And that is not the type of person you are.” “It tears me apart to leave without Landon. I trust all of you and I know he will have a wonderful time here but leaving him just hurts so damn much. I hope we can get rid of the hyenas soon and he can come back.” Byron gave Liam a pat on the back. “If you need any help, you know we’re just one call away.” He gave the older man a crooked smile. “I know.” Liam turned serious again. “It just annoys me so much that people constantly think they can overpower me because of my age or my looks.” “But this a problem of our society. People have a certain image of what somebody is supposed to be. If you don’t fit in the image, they think it’s okay to walk over you. I wish I could say it will stop one day but there will always be people underestimating you. The only thing you can do is to pick your battles and prove them wrong in the way right for you. I know you have a bright future ahead as Alpha of your pack, Liam. I can’t wait to see what you will do with this pack in the next years. We all are eager to see and we all support you. No matter if you’re twenty or fifty.” It helped Liam to talk with Byron and hear those words. Having people look down on you didn’t help your self-esteem but having people believing in him did. They all counted on him and he had great support. “Thank you, Byron.”

****** Landon got a warm welcome from the rest of the pack and the other kids immediately accepted him in their group and they began to play. Liam smiled when he saw Landon so carefree and happy. It was the right decision.

But then it was time to say goodbye and the brother found each other hugging tightly. Liam tried to will down the tears, he didn’t want to make this harder for Landon than it already was. “I love you so much, buddy,” he whispered into his brother's ear and Landon sniffled. “I love you too, Liam. Please be careful.” Liam smiled and ran a hand through Landon’s hair when they parted. “I will be.” He slowly got up to his full height and hugged Byron and Lana. “Thank you again, guys.” “No need to thank us. Be careful and if you need help, call us.” “Yeah.” Liam waved. “Bye. And, Landon, I will call you tonight.” The boy nodded eagerly. “We will talk every night over the phone and tell us about our days. Starting tonight.” “Exactly. Be nice to Byron and Lana and do good in school. Bye.” He hugged the kid one last time then he got into his car. He waved out of the rolled-down window, the former Alpha couple and Landon waved back, and the car slowly drove towards the street. He waved until he couldn’t see them anymore.

When he was finally on the highway, Liam called Theo over the speakerphone. His mate immediately picked up. “Hey, I’m on my way home. Everything okay?” His voice was thick with emotions. “Everything quiet, no hyena showed up. Are you okay?” Theo asked softly. Liam took a deep breath and fought back the tears. “He is happy and safe, that’s all that matters. It still hurts though.” “I can imagine. Are you okay to drive? I can come and pick you up with Mason.” “No need, I will be fine. There is not much traffic, I should be home soon. And then I’m ready to kick some hyenas’ asses.”

At least, the new danger now has a name and a face. Also, I was bawling when writing the last part of the chapter. What have I done? But on the other hand, Liam now can focus on the threat at hand and believe me, they have no idea who they're messing with. Like stated in the chapter, people underestimate him and that is never a good idea. What do you think? As always comments/theories/wishes/and what else you can think of are highly appreciated! I hope you don't hate me too much for this emotional rollercoaster I sent us all on.

Love you guys!

#Thiam #Morning Dew Pack series #A tale written with fangs and claws #My writing #alpha!liam #let's continue this wild ride #I am sponsering tissues in case anybody needs them

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codename-bewareofthefangirl · 7 years

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GoM + Nijimura + Haizaki + Kagami + Kiyoshi + Takao + Mayuzumi + Hanamiya + Ogiwara childhood headcanons please, thanks!

Hi dear! Sorryfor the wait, I hope you’re fine! Here I am with the headcanons! Since youasked them for many characters, I’ve been general and brief, if you want somemore of them just ask okay?

Have a niceday!

KnB Childhood Headcanons:

Kise Ryouta

-the Angel Child that everybody loves. The parents,the over-doting sisters, the neighbors, the old granny that rune that groceryshop….everyone.

-the sisters used to dress him like a girl. 100% sureof this, and he was more cute than every other little girl. Pink? Not aproblem, he slayed it. Braids, flowers in the hair, animal hairpins? Lookedperfect on him.

-he modeled both for male and female clothing, yeswhen he was still a child.

-the boy that all the girls in kindergarten fought forwhen playing house. He came to hate that game, it was boring and all the girlswhere the same. He knew he was cuter and a better wife than them. (Now, when heremembers how conceited and proud he was about his wife skills, he wants to dighis own grave. It was his sisters’ fault.)

-He was already sharp and definitely too honest, thetypical child that points out everything that adults want to hide or fake isnot there.

-He learnt quickly how to use his good looks and innocentface to have what he wanted. Not always in egoistic or cunning way, he was justhappy when he saw people smiling at him or praising him.

-He had a deep bond with his Grandma, a truetraditional Japanese lady. Strict and elegant but extremely caring.

-He got bored quickly and spent time searching for the“right game”. However, he quite enjoyed drawing (even if he wasn’t good atit)and singing! He loved singing and dancing! He organized little shows for hisfamily where he danced and singed for them, or runaway show, taking them veryseriously.

-He hated playing in the garden and getting dirty.Especially with insects, he was scared of them. Earthworms in particular.

Aomine Daiki

-The Wild Kid. The child that lives in the park or inthe garden, from morning to evening. His parents had to scream and shout everyday to bring him back home and put him in the bath. It was a real fight. Hespent all his holidays at his grandparents’ house in the mountains.

-Every day was an adventure. He loved rolling in themud, catching bugs and cicadas, exploring new places and obviously trying everytype of sports.

-Until he found basketball, then there was only basket.

-He hurt himself one day and the other too, uncaringtowards any potential danger. He got lost in the park or in the wood at least oncea week. The firefighters were in the end used to it and became his friends.

-He had a great sense of “justice”. I like to think ofhim as the child with the hero complex. He fought the evil forces (bullies, abad dog, strict adults…) and helped the weak (grannies, small animals, youngerchildren…)

-He stayed quiet only when Momoi managed to force himto play at her “girly” games. Usually he was the one dragging her into hiscrazy ideas.

-Disinterested in the adults’ world, honest and rough,he respected only the ones who earned it. Teaching him how to be polite was hisparents’ harder task ever. They still shiver at the memory.

MurasakibaraAtsushi

-The Picky Child. Oks, I can’t stop thinking that hewas the typical child who wanted always something different. Especially whentalking about food. He didn’t throw tantrum, but pouted silently and refused tomove/do what he was told for hours. Extremely stubborn. Between him and hisparents, it was a battle of wills.

-Being the last son in a big family, he was slightlyspoiled. By his brothers and his sister mostly, who just found him cute andcheeky when he was little.

-He was quiet, but moody. He had to be the one todecide what to do and when, he didn’t care if others wanted somethingdifferent. He was going to do what he wanted either way.

-He liked playing alone, he especially enjoyedvideogames and watching cartoons. He had a soft spot for a superheroes’ tv-showand knew all the lines of the Purple Hero. He had costume of him and somerelated toys. He was super-fast at coming back home after school to watch it.

-Not patient and bored easily, he spent a lot of timedaydreaming.

-He was gentle only to younger children, especiallygirls. If he was in a good mood, he shared his sweets with them. On the otherhand, he hated playing with the older ones, but luckily, he was big enough toscare them off.

AkashiSeijuurou

-ThePerfect Child. We all know his childhood sucked. He was manipulated to be theperfect being and his entire family, not including the mother, was strict as hellwith him. He spent his days learning and studying in solitude or with histutors.

-He loved spending his free time with his mother, whenhe could. She would read books to him or play in the garden; they also tookcare of flowers together and played cheerful songs at the piano.

-After she died, he would wait for the night to comeand then sneak out of his room. Some nights, he would curl on a big armchair inthe library and read fairy tales or stories of adventures (the ones his motherread to him) by himself. Sometimes, he would go in the garden and take care oftheir precious flower to be sure they were going to grow and bloom. At leastthem.

-he started playing the violin because playing thepiano without his mother brought back too many memories and hurt too much.

-At first he hated horse-riding, because the majorityof animals hated him and escaped as soon as they saw him. Now he’s like a sortof Lion King and animal bows to him. Except dogs. Dogs hate him.

MidorimaShintarou

-The Smart Child. The one that knows too many thingsand reads too much. At first he was very stiff and cold to adults and otherchildren, he preferred to play on his own, but he softened when his sister wasborn.

-He enjoyed mind games: puzzles, enigmas, crosswords…The problems arose when he couldn’t solve one, asked his parents but theydidn’t know too.

-He read a lot, everything he could find. From kitchenmagazines to encyclopedias. His favorites? “Fortune Telling” and “How The StarsShape Your Life”. Yeah.

-Very diligent and obedient, however he couldn’tsuppress his urge to talk. When he heard someone discussing something he hadread about, it didn’t matter who it was but he had to have his word.Embarrassing when he knew more than the adults present.

-His parents were strict with him, but in a normal andcaring way. They are very proud of him and let him know when he needs it.

-Shy with other kids and unable to socialize well,however he seemed to attract the troublesome kids. Maybe because he was veryresponsible and took care of them when they got hurt. He was the kid that othermothers loved because they knew that if he was there their crazy kids weregoing to be okay.

Kuroko Tetsuya

-The Where-Is-My-Child Kid! Usually super quiet,reserved and shy, but when you take your eyes off him he vanishes like a ghost.He was a curious and independent boy that wandered around following hisinstincts and got lost on daily basis.

-His parents tried everything: bright, neon cloths,some bells, a gps tracker…nothing, it took him one second to disappear, even intheir own house. In the end, they decided to put around his neck a card withtheir names and the phone number, just in case.

-Adorable, a little chubby and with always a cute,faint smile on the lips. Sweet and kind, timid yet willing to befriend otherchildren. Girls loved him endlessly and treated him like their little brother.

-I can see him drawing peacefully and reading. Heloved to take naps, everywhere and anywhere.

- Independent, he tried to be the little man his dadwould like him to be. Trying to not cry often and be strong, to do what he havetoo and be responsible. Helping out his mom when she needed, especially withhouse chores.

NijimuraShuuzou

-The Dependable Child. When his parents had to leavesomeone in charge of the house, they would choose Nijimura. Strong, determinedand a born leader, capable to handle things even when he was younger. Like alittle soldier.

-grumpy and hotheaded he often picked up fights withother children, yet everybody loved him for his kind and honest heart. He wasjust a bit scary.

-He was the leader of a group of children at the parkand used to be the arbiter of every argument. Nobody dared to contradict him.

-He would took care both of his older sister and hisyounger brother, like a replacement of his father, when he had to stay inhospital. Very responsible and hard working, however he got stressed andinsecure easily and that’s why he ended up venting it into fights.

-Loved to play outside with other children and henever left out anyone. He also enjoyed from time to time relaxing on his own,watching his cartoons or chatting with his dad.

-He wanted more than anything else to be like his dadand make him proud.

Kagami Taiga

-The Sunshine Boy! A little tornado of smiles, energyand clumsiness. He tended to end up in every type of trouble and he visited thehospital once a month. The nurses loved him.

-He didn’t have a switch off, much to his mother’sdesperation, and he never seemed to be tired. He had to move, play, scream, laugh…endlessly.He slept few hours per night and was extremely loud and boisterous.

-He loved playing outside and had a passion fordangerous and reckless games. He was never alone, always dragging someone withhim.

-He got hurt easily: scratched knees, purple bruises,insects’ stings…He was also very clumsy and uncoordinated.

-Prideful, brave and curious. He liked nature, exceptfor dogs. He hated dogs, they were evil (his mother used to threaten him thatshe was going to buy a dog if he didn’t come home)

-Nothing was more boring than staying at home, readingand drawing. When it rained, for one hour or two, they would keep him quietwith cartoons, but he would soon grow bored and start to pester them to playwith him.

-He was hotheaded, but he rarely got angry or pouty.He complained, yet he regained his smile quickly. And it was quite contagious.

Haizaki Shougo

-The Spoiled Child. He and his brother had eight yearsof difference, so his mother spoiled him endlessly. At least when she was home,being a single mother she had to work very hard to maintain them. Yes, hecherished and respected his mother a lot (at least her).

-He had a superiority complex: he had to be the leaderof the group and the one who decided who could play with him and who not. Girlsweren’t accepted because they were crybabies and too weak.

-He felt like a great boss, going around the park andimposing his power. He said that his brother was the one who taught him how tofight and be brave.

-He had an older brother’s complex: he admired him andpraised him wholeheartedly; he wanted to be tall, strong and fearless like him.

Kyoshi Teppei

-The Golden Heart Boy. The one that deeply cares foreveryone, kind and always ready to help someone out.

-he would spend days and days gardening with hisgrandmother or fishing with his grandfather, quietly but cheerfully. Or,reading stories in the veranda and looking at the clouds. It had been hisgrandad who taught him how to play the harmonica.

-He was the pacemaker at the park, playing the role ofthe big brother to the other children. Actually, some of them began to call him“Onii-chan” for real, especially little girls.

-Making his mom happy was one of his joy. He wouldmade drawings or small jewels with bottle’s cap, glass beads and plastic stringsfor her. Because she was a queen.

Takao Kazunari

-The Mischievous Child. He had done everything. He hadpranked anyone, without a second thought. Most out of curiosity, sometimes as arevenge.

-carefree kid, always ready to get into troublevoluntarily. At first, they used to ground him, but then he would damage morethe house so his parents surrendered and just left him without tv or videogamesfor some days as a punishment.

-He had drawn on the walls of his house, put worms inthe tea cup of the neighbor, scared to death the mailman, scribbled on theteacher’s skirt, hidden in the wood the toy of a child he didn’t like,persuaded a girl she was adopted, sneaked out during the night…His parentsspent their time apologizing to the neighborhood.

-He found girls annoying, petty and boring. Hepreferred playing soccer or hide and seek with other boys.

-He loved animals and was quite good with them. He wasoften followed by strays and his house became a sort of hotel for abandoned animals.

MayuzumiChihiro

-The Lonely Child. He liked to be alone, reading orplaying his games on his own.

-He hated to be dragged to the park or to some partiesby his parents. He usually hid in a corner and pouted for hours.

-He is an only child, so at time he didn’t know how tointeract with other children and was horrible at sharing toys. However, he wasgood with quiet kids who liked to read like him. Or playing videogames. Inthose cases, he would even talk a bit, in whispers, and maybe show a faintsmile.

-He’s still scared of family reunions, especially inbig occasions like Christmas. He was the only child and the center of theattentions. His worst nightmare. He still isn’t able to escape from his aunts’claws.

-The only one he liked was his grandfather, whobrought him in the countryside and would share with him silent afternoons justlooking at the sky or wandering in the woods.

-He liked to wander alone, everywhere and anywhere,absentmindedly. Luckily, he had a good sense of direction.

ShigehiroOgiwara

-The Big Brother. The precious little child that hasonly one mission: being a good big brother. He tried to be independent andstrong just for his little brothers, always trying to be a worth model andbeing able to take care of them. He was the one who took them to thekindergarten and then to school every morning, holding their hands.

-He would often go to the park and play basketballwith his dad.

-bright personality, a bit wild and lively, but verykind. A bit clumsy, he fell easily and it was very cute how hard he tried notto cry every time.

-He ate a lot of food and was always hungry, maybebecause he was moving and playing around a lot. His mother was stunned by that.

HanamiyaMakoto

-The Devil Child. He looked absolutely adorable andcute, and you know why? Because he was enough smart to know that if a child wascute, he was going to have what he asked for. Obviously, he put the façade onwhen he needed too, otherwise he actually didn’t care about others. He liked tobe on his own.

-He was the only child of a single mother and trulycherished her, yet she had to work and he spent a lot of time alone.

-He used to go every afternoon to a small library andspent his time reading. There weren’t many books for children, so he soon beganto read the ones for adults. He liked the story of military tactics,mathematics and physics’ ones and manuals of chess and other games. The oldlady of the library treated him like his own nephew and is one of the fewpeople he truly cares about. He still goes to visit her every week.

-Straying cats loved him and followed him on thestreets.

-He had been banned from three different bars becausewhen he was eight he started playing card games with the old customers, butalways ended up winning the bet at stake. Sometimes he didn’t have to cheat towin, he was just too good.

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