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emotions-ew · 3 years

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A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus, and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman.

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces.

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists.

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world.

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists.

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

- The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

- Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of

Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer.

All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be.

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

- Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

- Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

- Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

- Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

- Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

- Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

- Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

How do I Get There; Deana Carter

- This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

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teawaffles · 3 years

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There’s No Business Like Show Business: Chapter 4

As Maya staggered away, the other members of the company sat down where they were, as if their strings had been cut. The large man who had praised Maya previously now pounded his fists on the floor in anguish.

“Goddammit…… not again.”

“…… ‘Again’?”

As Bond gave him a puzzled look, the man tried to explain in detail.

“Actually, this kind of thing has been going on for a while. Like he said, we’re quite famous in Whitechapel, so nobles who’ve heard of our reputation come asking us to perform on a whim. But they always cancel at the last minute, giving some reason about us being poor.”

“That’s horrible……”

“I haven’t been with this company long, but it’s already happened two or three times while I’ve been here. So for Maya, who’s been here since it was established, she’s probably seen these promises broken countless more times. But every time this happens, she always clutches on to some glimmer of hope and tries to encourage everyone. For her, I think, she’s probably been pushing herself way too hard.”

Bond thought back to how she’d looked when they first met at this theatre. Her brave figure as she’d clung on to the few chances they were given surfaced in his mind, and his heart was lanced with pain.

A sense of helplessness seized hold of him.

“Sorry, but could you go see if she’s alright? She probably wants to be alone right now, but it seems she trusts you quite a bit too.”

Bond nodded, and headed for the dressing room.

It was a narrow space. Seated on a chair, sunk into despondency, was Maya.

“Miss Maya. Are you alright?”

He knew there was no way she was alright, even as he’d asked that, but Maya returned him a slight smile nevertheless. Even now, it seemed as though she was on the verge of collapse.

“I’m, alright. But I’m sorry that you’ve wasted your time with us, Mr Bond.”

“I don’t care about that. It’s you and your company who’s hurting right now, isn’t it?” he asked with concern.

She shook her head.

“It’s okay. Somehow, I had a feeling, about this.”

Her smile turned into a lonely self-mockery.

“We’ve been here so many times, I think I’ve finally learned something. This time, too, I thought I could just give it my all, but somewhere deep down it’s grown cold. There’s no point in hoping anymore. Nobles would never give people like us a chance anyway. I knew that already, yet I still drew you into this…… Honestly, I’ve just come to hate myself.”

Perhaps it was because she was revealing her true emotions, for she sounded just like when she’d stood on stage: her words betraying no hesitation, and piercing straight through his chest. Those vacant eyes finally led him to understand why she’d chosen those three fairytales to perform.

“The Red Shoes”, “The Little Mermaid”, and “The Little Match Girl” — the protagonists of all three stories had one thing in common: they each met a harsh fate from which they could not be saved.

Maya herself loved children’s literature, and possessed a kindness in wanting to make her stories understandable by everyone. But on the other hand, perhaps unconsciously, she held sympathy for stories of tragedy.

“Even that nobleman said so himself, at the end. That at least, it was a nice dream. ……I think so too. For people like us, we just have to be satisfied with dreams. Even if we play kings and queens on stage, once the show is over, we actors will just go back to being helpless commoners. The thought of us succeeding in this world, will forever be a pipe dream.”

“That’s—”

“—absolutely right. Because reality is cruel like that. We should take these fairytales, these tragedies, and use them as lessons. ‘The poor should live their lives as befits their station.’ ‘Just perform the role you have been given.’ These rules have never once changed for a very long time.”

“…………”

You just have to perform the role you’ve been given.

Not too long ago, similar words had passed his own lips. [1]

In response to that, Moran had taught him to think and act for himself. And by immediately putting that lesson into practice, he’d finally been accepted by Moran as a colleague.

However, that lesson did not apply here: even if they wanted to do so, Maya and her company were not even afforded the opportunity to show it.

Their dreams had been trampled upon by an absurd reality. Yet despite his anguish, he was also at his wit’s end.

“——Bond.”

Just as he’d grit his teeth at his own inadequacy, he heard a voice from behind him.

Turning around, he saw Moran standing in the doorway of the dressing room.

“Wanna go outside for some fresh air?”

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“What a bind, huh. Even though he’d cancelled on them unreasonably, since he manages the entire venue, they can’t do anything about it.”

Moran summarised their plight as he and Bond stood outside the theatre. The sky above Whitechapel was blanketed in smog brought in by the prevailing westerly winds, blocking the sunlight that should have been shining onto the streets.

“What will you do now?” Moran asked, as he lighted a cigarette.

“I don’t know. I want the world to recognise their talent and sheer effort, though it’s not like there isn’t a way to do that……”

Moran caught on to the ‘way’ Bond had been considering.

“With the help of Albert and the others, we might just be able to set up one licensed theatre for them.”

“But it would be meaningless if we did so.”

Using unlawful methods, or simply brandishing authority to solve their problems would be nothing more than plain arrogance. That, would be no different from how the nobleman had conducted himself.

“In the end, they must prove their ability using their own strength. We could help them as individuals, but recklessly employing any higher power than that would not be in their interest.”

“Yeah, I’m with you on that.”

Maya and her company had to fight on with their innate power.

Moran blew out a thin trail of smoke.

“Well then, other than their acting chops, I wonder what else they can use to show what they can do,” he said in a low voice.

Bond put a hand to his chin as he pondered.

“What else…… Well, they do have the trust of the East End residents——”

Just as he said those words, he was struck by a flash of inspiration. He turned to Moran, half in surprise, and the corner of Moran’s mouth twitched upwards.

“Thought of a good plan?”

Bond dropped his gaze to the floor as he mulled over his idea once more.

“If anything, it’s a strange one. But I have a plan. ……Moran-kun, did you know that I’d come to this conclusion beforehand?”

Moran flashed him a wry smile.

“’Course not. I just thought, if it’s you, you’d be able to come up with something no one else can think of.”

“…………”

It had not been calculation, but trust. Trust that he would be able to break them out of their quandary.

Bond chuckled in astonishment. That’s right — what had he been fretting about all this while? It was in his very nature to abhor doing things conventionally. In that case, he should break out of the rigid box he’d been pacing within, and seek out a solution within a larger scheme.

He gazed at the heavens. The sun was still on the other side of the grey, but he could feel a single ray of light shining through.

“Thank you, Moran-kun.”

With a wink, Bond thanked him from the bottom of his heart.

“Don’t thank me, you’re the one who thought of this. But from the looks of it, it seems you’re gonna do something interesting.”

“You could say that. But I may need you and the rest to do me a favour.”

“Got it. We’ve come this far — use me as you wish.”

With their conversation at an end, Bond entered the theatre once more. Now, he had neither doubt nor hesitation: the fog within his heart had lifted.

He headed to the stage with sure steps. There, the company, with Maya included, was in the midst of packing up.

“Mr Bond, has something happened?”

He looked much more determined than he did just minutes ago. For a moment, Maya’s doubts overshadowed her despair.

Bond faced them all, speaking clearly and with conviction.

“If you’re willing—— I have a plan.”

Footnotes:

[1] See Chapter 24 of the manga (“The Adventure of the Four Servants”).

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #english translation #forbidden games

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gryfon-spanish-werewolf · 3 years

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Cuddle Corner (Part 2)

A long time coming, literally ~5 years, the sequel to the original Cuddle Corner. This one was highly requested on ao3 and ff.net, but honestly? I wanted it just as bad.

This story is dedicated to @fruipit. One because your enthusiasm for the original was so energizing, and two, because I still owe you a larger fic but here I am on the one-year-anniversary of that to offer this one instead xD

Edit: for those who love to favorite and comment: ao3 and ff.net are now available!

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The background buzz of the mall’s food court droned around Anna and Kristoff as they dug into their meals. Work would come calling soon, but it was their lunch break, and the reuben’s they made here were well worth the drive, the parking nightmare, and the overpriced soft drink that came with it.

Kristoff watched Anna. While generally a reserved man, his quiet was different now, observant. After devouring half of his sandwich, the rest remained practically untouched, but Anna was too busy enjoying her food to notice. Too busy that is, until Kristoff cleared his throat.

“I think you should go back.”

Her sandwich stopped halfway to her mouth. "We are not talking about this." "Anna..." Kristoff leaned forward, posture set firm. Anna met his gaze with equal and opposite determination - and to her credit, she gave it her all. But it was like trying to bully a mountain by throwing pebbles, and eventually she closed her eyes, giving in with a measured inhale and exhale. "You know why I can't." "Yeah, so you've told me." "Then you'll have to forgive me for being short," Anna scowled. "I thought I'd made it clear that that could never be allowed to happen again." "So, what?” Kristoff raised an eyebrow. “You're just going to keep yourself on house arrest and never interact with another human being ever again?" Anna put her meal down. Based on the way her stomach was already tightening in knots, she wasn't getting back to it anyway. "Of course not, that's absurd." Kristoff spread his arms, awaiting an explanation. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I care about you, Anna." Kristoff's face softened. "I won't go so far as to say I know how you feel, because I know that I don't and never truly will. But I do know you. And you haven't been yourself since that appointment." Anna stared at the tabletop, arms close to center. "I know you don't want to talk about it," Kristoff continued, "but whatever happened–"

“Nothing happened!” Anna shouted, drawing concerned looks from the other patrons. The words cut like glass. Her throat felt raw, heart bleeding as it pumped jagged pieces through her chest. She drew her hands back even further when Kristoff offered his own from across the table. She couldn’t. Not now.

God, she hated crying.

A foot nudged hers gently. Anna blinked back the tears, remembering where she was and who she was talking to. This was Kristoff, and he knew her better than anyone.

“Anna, you’re hurting.” He tapped his foot on top of hers, doing it again when she remained silent. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, “but I can’t watch that big goofy heart of yours shrink in on itself any longer.”

He paused and Anna felt the sharp teeth of dread.

“Was it Elsa?”

Anna’s eyes widened. “No! No, Elsa was… Elsa was perfect.”

“You said it reminded you of before.”

“And I stand by that, sort of.” Another nudge and this time Anna tapped Kristoff’s foot back, bringing a smile to his brown eyes. She gave him one of her own, small and weak in comparison. “Elsa was completely professional. We established boundaries and she constantly checked in on me to make sure I was okay. She never did anything without my say-so and she cared about my well-being.” Anna’s expression soured. “Which is exactly where everything went wrong. We hugged, sat together, swapped stories. I felt like I’d known her my whole life! I was even brave enough to put my head in her lap. I got so caught up that I forgot why I can’t do that sort of thing anymore.”

Kristoff offered his hand again and she took it, grateful for his patience. “When that timer went off, everything came flooding back. Everything. Guilt and fear and crushed hope. I threw all of it in her face. Elsa, she... she didn’t deserve that.” Anna’s shoulders dropped with the admission, a weight slipping the ground. She glanced up at Kristoff and shrugged awkwardly. “You know the rest. I’ve avoided talking about it and spent all my free time at home, trying to get my shit together.” She inhaled shakily. “I really thought I was done with this.”

A soothing thumb brushed the back of her hand. She tentatively reached out with her sneaker, warmth softening the sharp edges in her chest when Kristoff bumped her back.

“I’m guessing that means you haven’t called her back, even though you have her card.” Kristoff leaned forward. “You… do still have it?”

Anna nodded. “Right where I left it, stuffed as far down into my jacket pocket as possible.”

“I think you should call her,” He said after a moment of thought.

“Kristoff.” Anna took back her hand, bottom lip caught between her teeth. “I know you’re just trying to help but how many times do I have to say that we, Elsa and I, cannot be a thing? Being ‘a thing’ means spending time together, spending time together means we’ll be affectionate, and being affectionate leads to… more. A-And I can’t give, more.”

“Which is why I’m not suggesting that in the least,” Kristoff replied, face set. “I’m merely saying you call her so she doesn’t think you hate her.”

Ouch. That hurt.

“You’re not the kind of person to wrong someone,” Kristoff continued, “let alone wrong someone and not apologize.” More gently he added, “I know you enjoyed spending time with her, anxiety aside. You’re not even going to give her the chance? Not even to be friends? Professional chums?”

“I don’t know, Kristoff,” Anna crossed her arms. “Are you friends with your therapist?”

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh.”

Kristoff grinned. “You were expecting me to say no, weren’t you?” Anna eyed the rest of her meal by way of answer. “I know she’s not your therapist, and trust me, I understand the urge to keep absolutely everything between you and Elsa professional. But sometimes in a space like that, where it’s just the two of you, you have to be honest too. Sometimes the best way for them to help you is to… well, let them help you.”

“Eloquent.”

“Just another way of saying I’m right, which I will take, thank you.”

Anna snorted at his antics, smiling a little too. But in the silence that followed the chilling trace of fear wound it’s way under her skin, trailing beneath her bones. She pressed her fingertips to her sternum. Heart and mind said two different things, and it was too soon to decide whether the fleeting spark of hope Kristoff was inspiring would save or destroy her.

“Please,” Kristoff pleaded, “no more of this. However you need to frame it -- for her sake or yours -- make things right with Elsa.” -------------

Anna steeled herself, dial pad staring accusingly when she hesitated again before punching in the number on the card. Her hand shook as she put the phone to her ear.

She begged for voicemail.

"Hello?” Dammit. “Elsa speaking."

“H-Hey Elsa," she cleared her throat, suddenly hoarse. "It's Anna."

"Anna!" Came the joyful cry, "Wow, Anna I'm... I'm really glad to hear from you." Anna didn't know what to say so she didn't respond. "What can I help you with?"

"I um, I know it’s been forever since we met but I was thinking…” She took a deep breath. She wanted this, didn’t she? “I, wanted to see you again.”

Immediately Anna knew she’d screwed up. “In what way?” Elsa’s voice was dangerously low, cautious in a way that nearly broke Anna’s soft heart. No, not afraid of me, please no.

“As in an appointment,” Anna rushed, backpedaling so fast she felt dizzy.

"Really?” Elsa sounded back to normal, even delightfully surprised. “I mean, of course. That’s why I gave you my number after all.” She laughed, high and breathy. “When would you like to come in?"

Anna hadn't even checked her calendar. Could she be any less prepared? "Um," Anna racked her brain, trying to find an open slot, "how about Saturday?"

"Saturday is good. I have a noon and a four o'clock, whichever works better for you."

"Four is better."

"Great! I'll see you then," Elsa exclaimed. There was a moment of quiet, then, "And hey, Anna?"

Anna swallowed. Elsa's voice had changed again, completely. It was painfully searching, even if Elsa tried to hide with brevity. "Yeah?"

"Thanks... for giving me a second chance."

Elsa hung up, leaving Anna to wonder how she would manage to survive the next three days.

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The waiting room was all too familiar, despite the fact she hadn't been back in months. The music hadn't changed, the buddha statue was still fat and happy, and the reeds still looked fake. Or real. Or both.

A different receptionist checked her in, all smiles and good smells. Apricot, Anna realized as she found a seat. Easy, considering she was the only one here, but unfortunate, since all she really wanted to do was hide.

But Kristoff was right, this was going to be for the best. Elsa, though they'd only interacted for an hour, deserved much more than Anna’s surprisingly cold shoulder.

"Anna?" Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't heard the door open. She looked up and found a pair of eager blue eyes, tempered in a way they shouldn't be. Too cautious.

She'd been hurt.

Shit.

“I’m–. We… are ready to see you now.” Elsa waved her clipboard. “If you’ll just follow me.”

Down the hall, past the same differently decorated rooms. Elsa’s open white button-down flared over black jeans as she walked, pale braided hair swinging back and forth delicately. It was nice, Anna thought, all these stark negatives against the baked clay hue of the walls and stained wood of the picture frames. Well, not negatives, Elsa could never be a negative, not like that. Anna was just appreciating the contrast–

She looked up when Elsa coughed. “We’re here,” she said for what must have been the second time. Anna immediately recognized it as the same room they’d been in when she was here last.

“Is this your room then?” she asked, moving inside.

Elsa shook her head. “We get a room assigned at random unless the client specifies. Technically you got the one two doors down but I thought since you knew this one and I didn’t want you to feel…” Her eyes changed, losing their confidence. “Unless you wanted another room, then–”

“Thank you,” Anna stopped her, touched by her concern. “This one is perfect.”

Elsa closed the door and handed over the clipboard. “So. Anna. Sign a few places and we can get started, same as last time.” She froze, searching Anna’s face. “Or not the same since, well…,” she trailed off.

They both looked at the door handle.

Anna swallowed, fighting the anxiety suddenly clogging up her throat. She realized that if this was going to work, she was the one who needed to set expectations too. Anna scribbled her name, then tucked the pen under her thumb and held out her other hand, palm up. “It won’t be the same,” she said with a confidence she was still finding. “It’ll be better.”

She saw Elsa hesitate, meeting Anna’s gaze instead. Her expression was schooled but Anna saw the cheer in her eyes. “That’s cheating,” she replied, humor lending warmth to her voice, “your time hasn’t started.”

“Then let’s start.”

Now Elsa smiled, unfiltered and without shadow.

Elsa set another timer on her phone, laying it down on the table. Caught up by the slowly ticking numbers on the screen, Anna nearly started when Elsa took the hand she’d offered before. Thankfully, Anna turned the reflex into a motion towards the bed. “Shall we?”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done to Anna Fields?” She chuckled, but let herself be led across the room.

“Ms. Fields has had a lot of time to think.” Anna settled herself on the side of bed, dropping her purse off her shoulder. “And she’s got some things to say.”

The mattress dipped on her right as Elsa settled next to her. Their hands were still connected. Anna took a deep breath, settling her nerves, “Starting with, ‘I’m sorry’.” Elsa made a humming noise and rubbed her thumb across Anna’s knuckles. “I’m sorry that I left things the way I did, I promise I’m not usually so… volatile. I know I didn’t explode on you or anything but, it must have felt like a switch got flipped. One second perfectly relaxed, the next…” In her mind Anna heard the timer again, felt the tightening pull of her muscles, saw the half remembered steps to the door. Her free hand clenched over her knee. “A-And I wouldn’t look at you, I couldn’t.” She felt Elsa’s eyes on her now, and the irony that Anna was struggling to meet her gaze, still, wasn’t lost on her.

When a few moments passed without either speaking, Elsa shifted, kicking her shoes off and pulling her legs up onto the bed. “I know you have more to say, and I want to hear it. But we are the Cuddle Corner after all. Can we try this?” Elsa moved behind her, then turned her back and sat cross-legged, facing the opposite wall. “I think you’ll like this one,” she said, speaking a little louder so her voice carried. “Just mirror what I’m doing, and rest your back against mine.”

Anna thought about it, but only for a moment before she reoriented herself and slowly eased against Elsa. Then she shifted, straightening her back and sitting up taller. Of course Elsa had good posture. At least, better than her own.

“Relax,” Elsa said calmly, though Anna heard the distinct upward lilt of humor buried in that one word. “And when you’re ready, place the back of your head on mine, too.”

Anna could feel every one of Elsa’s breaths, expanding lightly against her spine. It was distracting, but pleasantly so, soothing and gentle. Finally Anna tilted her head back, looking straight ahead.

“How are you doing?” Elsa asked.

Anna closed her eyes and breathed deep. Her awareness traveled from her head to her center, where things were still a little messy, but more calm than before, quieter. “Better,” she replied honestly.

“Good.” She felt Elsa raise her chin. “Try to keep looking forward. You’ll want to speak to the side or turn your head, to see my facial expressions. But,” she paused. Anna heard the smile step into her voice and she couldn’t help the one that grew to match, “part of this exercise is to trust what you feel and hear coming from the other person, without relying on what you see. Is that still okay?”

Anna straightened again. From the crown of her head to the tips of her toes, she felt a peace steal over her. Maybe it was something about the position, or maybe it was the rhythm of Elsa’s breath. She wrapped that feeling around her like a cloak, snug, overlapping her heart.

In answer, she continued where she left off.

“At the end of last session I… wasn’t myself. I shouldn’t have left like that. Shouldn’t have left you like that. You didn’t deserve it, especially because, well, it wasn’t your fault.” Anna shifted, attempting to look over her shoulder before remembering Elsa’s advice. “I want to make that very clear: you, Elsa? Did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right. You just, pah-,” Anna made a little outward motion with her hands, a small explosion, “made everything work, just for a moment.” Anna felt more than heard Elsa’s small giggle against her back and felt her ears get hot. “Yeah I’m, not always the best with words.”

“It’s more common than you think,” Elsa replied. Anna saw her move her hand out of the corner of her eye. “When you can’t see someone it’s normal to raise your voice and use your hands more, since you’re still trying to get your point across with less to work with.” There was that laugh again, hitching against her ribs. “Though I get the feeling you talk with your hands anyway.”

“My family knows not to keep glassware around me after dinner, yes,” Anna snorted. “And Kristoff stocks the break room with extra napkins, just for me.” She rolled her eyes. “Real charmer that one.”

“I think you mentioned this man, Kristoff, the last time you were here too,” Elsa said softly. “He must mean a lot to you.”

“Yeah!” Anna beamed. “He was the first friend I made at my job and now…,” she paused, considering, “well now I think he’s my best friend.”

Elsa made a noise of curiosity, a little wordless question. “I would have thought he was your brother, the way you sound when you talk about him.”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Anna sighed, leaning back into Elsa. “It’s probably because we hug and hold hands and he gives me piggy back rides across the parking lot just for the fun of it. I tried to give him one once and nearly broke my knee. I’m strong, but he’s a mountain man.” Anna laughed to herself. “Actually, people think we’re dating most of the time.”

“Oh?” Elsa sounded genuinely surprised, the sound bouncing high off the walls, “you’re not?”

“Nnnnnope!” Anna replied, popping the ‘p’. “I mean he’s sweet and all: attentive, caring, soft-hearted. Anyone would be lucky to have him. But I’ve never thought of him that way.”

Instantly Anna felt a flush creep up her neck, and she sat forward. “W-Well,” she stammered, “not like that like that, I mean. Sure he can be charming in a rough sort of way sometimes and it feels really nice to be held in his arms because he’s so much bigger than me and yes we buy each other gifts just because we know it’ll make the other person happy b-but… I…” she swallowed, staring at the bed spread past her legs. “N-Not like, the anything that comes after… all that.” Anna fussed with the hair behind her ear, self-conscious. “But I suppose if I had to pick a dude, he’d be really great.”

Anna thought she heard an, “Oh,” from Elsa again but she wasn't sure. She realized they weren’t touching anymore, and in the same heartbeat realized that she’d sort of, almost, accidentally come out to Elsa.

A pit opened in her stomach, enough that her heart dropped just a little, enough for anxiety to find a little home and buzz through her chest.

It was a soft ball, an underhand throw, of a coming out, easily brushed aside or misinterpreted. Elsa was professional, she probably wouldn’t even ask.

Anna really wanted her to ask. But she also really didn’t.

But mostly she just didn’t want Elsa to feel weird about her.

“Anna?”

Elsa was looking at her, over her own shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Me?” Anna blinked. “Am I--. Of course I’m okay. Oh, shit,” she scooched backwards until she felt Elsa’s waist again and leaned back, touching her head to Elsa’s. “I left the position, sorry.”

Elsa was quiet for a moment, and Anna swore she could feel Elsa’s thoughts winding themselves down her spine. But Elsa’s next words held only warmth. “It’s more about the exercise than anything else,” she said, and Anna could tell she was still speaking over her shoulder, directly to her. “You can leave it at any time, for any reason. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable, promise,” Anna twisted to face Elsa. “I think I’m just really bad at… explaining… myself…”

Elsa’s eyes softened and for a moment Anna couldn’t see anything else. They were so close. She’d turned and now they were breathing the same air. Inches. Centimeters.

He used to call this kissing distance.

“Anna?”

“Yes?” Anna murmured. Every nerve in her body was aware of itself. Her skin prickled with their energy, thorned as a rose.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Ever,” Elsa stated firmly. She leaned back into Anna, the smallest upward turn on her lips. “I don’t need to understand to care.”

But Anna saw that she did understand. And better, that Elsa wasn’t afraid of her, or anything Anna brought with her.

And that was… a lot.

Anna closed her eyes, took a deep breath--

And flopped down against the plush mattress.

She heard Elsa laugh behind her hand as she opened her eyes. “Too much?” Elsa asked, humor making lines around her eyes.

“No, not too much, just,” Anna mulled her words over, “you make it sound so easy. You make this so easy,” Anna gestured with both hands to the space above her head broadly, encapsulating the room and everything in it, physical and immaterial. “I started out apologizing, and those thoughts were all tangled up in my head because I wanted to be sincere and make this time different and it is different, so different, and I guess now I’m just, really… really grateful.”

Elsa nodded as Anna finished. “There’s a part of me that wants to say, ‘Well, it’s my job after all’, but I really am glad that I’ve been able to help, Anna.” She laid herself down too, on her side, propping her head up on her hand. “And in case you’re the kind of person that needs to hear it: I forgive you, Anna, so you don’t need to apologize anymore.”

A great breath washed out of Anna. She stared up at the ceiling, arms outstretched. “Thank you.”

After a brief pause, Elsa replied, “I’d actually already forgiven you, before you got here.”

Anna sat up on her elbows. “What? Why? I hadn’t even said anything yet!”

“It was the fact that you called at all.”

“But--! That doesn’t…”

Elsa held up her hand and shook her head. “You’re overthinking it,” she said gently, “which is alright, since that’s what I pegged you for anyway.”

Anna went to reply but stopped herself, trapping the air in her cheek. Then, she said, “You know, it’s not terribly cuddly to insult your clients, Elsa.”

“Hmm, true,” Elsa acquiesced, though her tone begged to differ. “What I mean is, you struck me as a ‘Thinker’ is all, even on your first visit.”

“A ‘Thinker’?” Elsa nodded again. “Like the guy who sits on a rock all serious-like?”

“Not quite,” Elsa chuckled, “although at times I’m sure that makes for a good analogy. I can explain it for you, but we’re still on your time here.” Elsa sat up, cross-legged, similar to Anna’s first visit. “The last few times I’ve been making the suggestions to help you relax, but I saw you take initiative when you first got here, and I want you to feel like this is your space as well. Now, as much as you’re comfortable, what do you want me to do?”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anna gulped. It wasn’t that big of an ask, and it made sense. Boundaries, two sets. A middle ground of mutually agreed upon comfort and engagement. She could do this.

Elsa sat patiently, in no rush at all. Anna looked back up at the ceiling and pondered. Suddenly a phantom feeling stole over her. Another time, another place. Someone warm next to her. A starlit sky above, cold ground below.

“On my stomach,” Anna said out loud. She turned her head and saw Elsa’s bewildered expression. “Sometimes when Kristoff and I hang out we lay on each other, and we’ll put our heads on the other’s belly.” Anna felt her face heat up a little, knowing it sounded more intimate than it really was. At least, not that way, but people usually didn’t believe that. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I can think of another one.”

“Won’t I be too heavy?”

Anna blinked. “Huh?”

“Won’t it hurt?” Elsa rephrased. “Heads weigh more than people think, and stomachs are notoriously soft.”

A beat passed.

Then Anna laughed.

At first it was small, like the quick kind of chortle and dash of amusement from an inside joke, but it rapidly changed to loud, full from her chest laughter, curling her legs towards her ribs in an attempt to contain it. Elsa’s concern was so endearing, and it soothed parts of Anna that were still hidden in the dark, but it was also utterly silly, too.

And that made the last trace of Anna’s trepidation disappear like mist in the morning.

“Notorious is a strong word,” Anna managed past her giggles. “I’m not sure who told you that, but maybe that’s just about your head.” One of Elsa’s eyebrows raised to acknowledge the comment, but as smooth as she tried to pass herself off, Anna could see how her mouth twitched with her own tamped laughter.

“It’s not terribly cuddly to insult your local professional, Anna,” she mimicked, sending Anna back into hysterics.

“I’ll… be fine,” Anna wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye as she flattened out again. “Kristoff is literally twice your size, I think I’ll make it.”

“Okay well,” Elsa lowered herself down, resting the back of her head lightly on Anna’s side with barely any weight at all. “Like this?”

“Yeah except you’re going to put your neck out like that,” Anna teased. “I said it was okay, Elsa. Trust me this time.”

After a moment of hesitation Elsa moved further back until she was fully settled, her shoulders hitting Anna’s hip and lower ribs. She sighed, making a few more adjustments until Anna could tell she was comfortable too.

They breathed in silence for a while, listening to each other. Anna realized she hadn’t eaten in a while and worried, briefly, that her body might make that fact known, but she supposed it wasn’t anything Elsa hadn’t heard before.

“So what were you saying earlier?” Anna re-broached the subject. “About how I… think things too much?”

“It’s not always the amount that you’re thinking,” Elsa chuckled. Anna felt the sound reverberate across her stomach and chest, warm and light. Elsa talked upwards, her head rising and falling in time with Anna’s breathing. “People process things in a lot of different ways, but many find that conceptualizing two categories - Thinking and Feeling - helps them more easily navigate those styles. Some people analyze and scrutinize and run over scenarios from as many angles as they can, and sometimes they do that to an excessive amount, which can cause more anxiety than it reduces. And some people,” she reached out and patted the bedspread. It was probably just to indicate that she was speaking about Anna, like the back to back exercise where they couldn’t see each other, but for some reason Anna reached out too, and put her hand beneath Elsa’s. She heard Elsa smile as she continued explaining, curling their fingers together. “Some people just have emotions that drift and bounce and trace around their body all the time. They’ll sit with a feeling until they’ve experienced all that it can give. Maybe they experience joy that floats them for hours, but they also feel sadness that sinks them into a sea of their own making.” Elsa turned her face towards Anna. “I’m fairly certain you’re the first one.”

“Huh.” Anna thought for a moment, feeling Elsa’s weight with every inhale. “So you’re a Feeler then?”

A smile tugged at Elsa’s lips. “How did you know?”

Anna shrugged. “I didn’t really, I just guessed.” She looked back up, rubbing the back of Elsa’s hand idly with the pad of her thumb. “Although, now that I think about it, you’ve always been thought-ful. Always checking in on me, asking me good questions --those always felt more experienced than logical though, if that makes sense. But the reasoning behind them seems more intuitive, like you just… know.” Anna paused, struck by something. “Actually, I didn’t have the word for it then, but I think I noticed it back when I called you.”

“To… schedule this appointment?” Elsa asked, sounding a little mystified.

“Yeah. It was in the way your voice changed when--,” and now Anna stopped because she felt embarrassment crawling up the nape of her neck. “When I said I wanted to see you again.”

“Oh.” Elsa turned her head to look at Anna. She had the smallest grimace on her face. “Sorry, that was pretty unprofessional of me.”

“On the contrary, I think checking to make sure your clients aren’t developing that kind of attachment to you is probably the most professional thing to do.”

“Well the paperwork helps,” Elsa hummed, “but you’re not wrong. Thankfully I haven’t encountered that problem yet, but I know some co-workers have.”

“It makes sense. I mean, this is the kind of thing most people imagine couples doing.”

Elsa shrugged. “Not everywhere. There are places where this is normal for family and friends, where physical affection isn’t locked behind the potential marital status of the individuals. And frankly, it’s normal here too, but not everyone experiences intimacy the same way.”

Intimacy.

The word clings to Anna’s throat, even though she hadn’t said it. A tightness, a dark line from neck to stomach, pooling invisibly around light Elsa’s hair.

“That’s good!” Anna blustered. “For them I mean, the people who get it. Wait no, not that the people who don’t feel that way are like-- What I mean to say is that that’s good! That people do that, somewhere: here, there, anywhere. I didn’t mean to say that people who don’t are doing bad, just, like, ‘Hey, good for them!’, you know?” She smacked her free hand over her eyes with a groan. “Grammar and statement of purpose have abandoned me. Feel free to tell me to stop talking whenever.” She felt Elsa’s laughter in the bunching of her shoulders against her stomach.

“Thinker,” Elsa chastised warmly.

And then it just became… chatter.

Catching up, laughing at anecdotes, learning about the other. Elsa asked about Anna’s job and Anna responded that she was training some promising new hires who were positively electric about their fields. Anna asked Elsa about her day job, making a mental note to check out a charity event a few blocks from her work. The first appointment seemed like a lifetime ago, and now that the air was clear and they’d settled, a lifetime seemed like just the thing to fill up the room.

Until Elsa scrunched her eyes up and said, “Okay, I think we’ve got to change positions, I’m getting a little dizzy.”

“I get it,” Anna empathized, “it’s the ups and downs. It gets a little disorienting”

“Yeah.” Elsa sat up and blinked hard a few times, her hand splayed out wide on the bed to keep balance. They’d kept them mostly entwined over the last part of their session, but Anna couldn’t help talking with her hands and it turned out that, at times, neither could Elsa.

Anna stretched, feeling like a cat in a sunbeam. She was as comfy as she was last time with her head in Elsa’s lap, but this time she knew the timer couldn’t surprise her. That enough words had passed between them for old wounds to not rear their heads. And while she didn’t anticipate it, for that would mean the end of her time with Elsa (for now), she did acknowledge it’s reality, and she was not afraid.

But she was damn cozy though.

“You look like you could fall asleep right there,” she heard Elsa say above her head. Anna opened her eyes to mirthful blue.

“I think you’re right,” Anna agreed, blocking a yawn with her hand.

“You’re welcome to take a nap. It’s--”

“--More common than you’d think,” Anna recited at the same time, making Elsa hide a smile behind her hand. There was a lot that Anna had learned in her short time here, but mostly that her knowledge of what people did when they felt safe and comforted was different than she’d expected. But it was a good kind of wrong to be, the eye-opening kind. The kind that made your heart feel a little bigger and softer. “You say that a lot.”

“Well it’s true!”

“I don’t doubt it,” Anna held up her hands, placating. “I’m just saying, it’s like your catchphrase.” Anna swept her outstretched arm in an arc, wiggling her fingers, “‘The more you know!’, with Elsa, the Cuddle Expert.”

Elsa bumped her arm. “You’re a tease. But I mean it, you’ve got time. Even if you don’t fall asleep, laying back and relaxing is part of cuddling you know.”

Anna stifled another yawn and turned onto her side. “I’ll at least sleep on top of the covers,” she replied, her voice dropping as she closed her eyes. “That way you don’t have to wash all the sheets.”

“Well they get washed anytime they’re used, and there’s spares in the hall closets but…,” she heard Elsa snicker, “you really think of everything, don’t you?”

“I think that joke has already run its course,” Anna smiled, then patted the open space in front of her invitingly. “C’mon, you might as well get a break too--.”

The bed dipped behind her.

“Well I can at least keep you warm this way; it’s kind of a classic cuddling position.”

The words were joking and light, Elsa’s voice so close to her ear, practically glowing.

“I don’t know who designed these rooms,” the voice continued, “but they let the air blow right above us. It gets incredibly chilly sometimes, and that’s coming from me of all people!” Forearms braced themselves against her spine, legs pressed against the back of her own, and soft exhales tickled the baby hairs at the nape of Anna’s neck.

And suddenly Anna was not at Cuddle Corner.

Her vision tunneled. The opposite wall retreated, backing itself down a long, dark corridor. Her peripherals feathered, the thorned, hyper-awareness from before screeching back, focused on the blazing points of contact between them.

Anna?

Her back was a ramrod, a live wire. When she breathed the air had nowhere to go, her lungs shallow and tight.

Breath on her neck and hands on her shoulders.

“Anna?”

Elsa’s voice.

Anna gasped, air traveling deeper, chest expanding, and the room returned to normal. Anna licked her lips, nerves settling under her skin, buzzing inside her ribs to join the dark feathers still flitting and hovering there.

“Maybe we should switch.” The words were strained but Anna tried to make them sound casual. To make them sound less like they hurt and more like before, just moments before when everything was perfect.

“...Are you sure?” Elsa replied over Anna’s shoulder. She’d moved away, touch gone, leaving phantom prints behind. Anna hesitated but nodded slowly. “Okay…”

The bed moved again. A moment later Elsa lowered herself down in front of Anna, facing away. Her braid was pulled over her shoulder, out of reach, exposing the light skin of her neck. Unable to see Elsa’s expression, Anna swallowed the dark, heavy thing inside her throat and attempted to gauge Elsa’s mood through posture alone.

“You can come close,” Elsa said. A simple and straightforward invitation, but Anna thought she heard an edge creep into it, like something was slicing each letter off at the joint.

“R-Right. ‘Cuddle Corner’,” Anna said with feigned cheer, a little fain-fair. She laughed. Elsa laughed.

It was weird.

Slowly, uncertainty running under her palm, Anna reached her arm across Elsa’s chest. Her legs came up under Elsa’s until their bodies were nearly flush. She could smell Elsa’s shampoo, and felt her breathing against the crook of her elbow.

And she could tell immediately that Elsa wasn’t comfortable either.

There was a weight in the room, a miasma escaping the seams between their bodies. It scraped between Anna’s fingers, threatening to lift her hand up entirely, and take it away. Her eyes unfocused, the lines of Elsa’s body becoming blurred, trembling the way heat makes the air waver and shake.

Elsa turned her head, so Anna could see the barest corner of her eye. “You’re pushing yourself,” she said quietly.

Anna tightened her grip, a wordless promise, but stopped when Elsa flinched. “I’m not.”

I’m not, she told herself. Elsa is a good person. People do this all the time, even friends! This position, spooning… it’s about comfort, not anything else. Just… stop being all up in your head about this.

But Anna could sense herself backpedaling, falling backwards into herself. Right in front of her was the shell of Elsa's ear, the slope of her neck, the curl of her white-blonde hair before it twisted into her braid -- and it made Anna wonder...

Was this... it? Was this what made people fall? A quiet moment, a scrap of skin. Was this enough to make them... feel?

Had it made him feel something, looking at Anna like this?

Warm fingers thread through hers, a bobber dropped into the well of her thoughts. Elsa's hand didn’t hold the sting of fear, and like sunlight on murky water a balm spread at her touch, expanding with each even breath.

But this time, it wasn’t enough.

Anna's thoughts rushed around her head, swirling, clinging, flying like beads snapped away from a string cut under stress. No longer sentences but fragments, worries and doubts in a whirlpool, sucking her down. What hadn't she done? What else could she do? How could she be so cold? Why couldn't she do this, for him? For anyone?

Why wasn't she enough?

The trembling started in her shoulders. She couldn’t stop it anymore than she could stop time. Her arm shook and by the time it reached her wrist Anna silently begged Elsa not to notice.

But of course she did.

Elsa turned in their embrace, her eyes widening for just a moment before she cupped Anna’s face, lightly, so light with her first touches, before brushing away a tear.

Anna hadn’t even realized she was crying.

“It’s okay Anna, you’re safe here.”

Anna hiccuped, her chest stuttering as more tears splashed against Elsa’s thumbs. She found Elsa’s forearms and held her tight, needing something beneath her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely.

Elsa shook her head. “Don’t be. You’ve apologized more than you’ve ever needed.”

Then Elsa’s forehead is nestled against Anna’s own. Anna doesn’t know how to react as Elsa’s eyes slip closed and she breathes slowly, carefully, like she’s counting the second. Anna feels herself matching the time, even as the sobs she harbored keep trying to find a way out. They get smaller, a boulder, then a rock, then a pebble in her lungs. Elsa’s soft exhales washed over Anna’s face, her very presence a well of tranquility, like immersing one’s hand in the cool waters of a brook. Elsa felt like flowing water, a place Anna could lay down the things that dragged her down, setting them adrift, letting the current carry them for a while.

Anna didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Long enough for the tears to start to dry, and the rawness of her throat to begin healing. But it couldn’t last forever.

Again the patter of rain, the rumble of thunder, and the distant, muted buzz of Elsa’s phone vibrating across the room. Anna exhaled a shuddering breath.

“The timer,” she croaked, voice like sludge, addled by tears.

“Ignore it,” Elsa murmured, pressing her face closer.

“B-But it’s over--”

“It’s okay.”

Anna attempted to shake her head, but Elsa merely brushed her cheeks with her thumbs. “You have another client. Another appointment.”

“I don’t.”

“Elsa…”

“Anna.” Elsa opened her eyes.

This close, Anna couldn’t mistake what she saw. Even if she didn’t have a name for it. And maybe there wasn’t a name to call the emotion heavy in Elsa’s eyes -- the eyes of a still-stranger, an almost-friend -- but whatever it was settled the last prickling nerve in Anna’s heart, soothed the last lash in Anna’s memory, and finally let her breathe long enough to listen. “I don’t have another appointment, you were my last for the day. An extra minute isn’t going to hurt anyone.” Elsa watched Anna’s face as she combed stray hairs back behind Anna’s ear. “I don’t want you leaving this place thinking you have to shoulder everything you came in with. It’s okay to leave some of it here, here with me, if that helps.” She smiled, her eyes wet. “It’s my job to make you feel comfortable, relaxed. But I also want you to feel that way, as Elsa, as me. I think you have a lot going on, and I want to help with that if… if you’ll let me.”

This time Anna closed her eyes, overwhelmed again. Unconsciously she leaned more into Elsa’s touch, which was enough for Elsa to continue. “You don’t have to decide today. Just know that I’m here for you, if you need me. But for now just,” and she shrugged, the motion taking Anna’s head with her, causing them both to laugh, “leave the timer be. It’ll take care of itself.”

They stayed like that. The timer silenced itself, and with the quiet came rest. Anna knew she didn’t fall asleep, but she thought she might when Elsa started playing with her hair again. Eventually, Anna knew she had to go and rolled over, sliding her shoes back on her feet. She heard Elsa do the same as Anna gathered her things.

“Should I expect another call?” Anna turned, shouldering her bag. Elsa sat on the edge of the bed, hands folded in her lap, expectant.

Though she knew her cheeks were already blotchy from tears, Anna felt another emotion color her face, and instead of feathers in her chest there were butterflies in her stomach.

"Yeah," she returned, putting a hand on the back of her neck. "But I think I'm going to have to do some thinking first, again. Which I'm sure you already expected."

"Maybe a little." Elsa tilted her head, never losing her warmth. "But take all the time you need. And talk to others, too. Kristoff seems like a good place to start, if you haven't already."

Anna snorted, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. "Oh don't worry, I'm sure he's left three voicemails by now wondering how this all went."

"And how did it go?”

Anna beamed. “Better.”

“Such glowing praise,” Elsa teased. “I’ll take it I suppose.”

Anna took a step back, towards the door, then hesitated, and turned back.

"More to say?" Elsa asked.

"Um..." Anna paused, then blushed again. "Actually, I did, but now I can't really find the words. It was ‘thank you’, again, but then there was other stuff and it got a little lost."

Elsa hummed at that, propping her chin up in her hand. "Knowing you, even for a short time, I'm sure they'll work themselves out eventually. Probably with hand motions."

Anna laughed and agreed. "Probably with hand motions. And maybe sound effects."

“You'll have to tell me,” Elsa smiled lightly, showing bright in her eyes. “Next time?”

Anna smiled back. “Next time.”

#please let me edit my tags you pos website >xD #OH I CAN DO IT ON MOBILE BUT NOT DESKTOP 🤣🤣🤣 I hate >xD #[clears throat] .....anyway #Cuddle Corner (Part 2)#my writing #fruipit #Anna #Elsa #not that I’m not confident but fingers crossed that you (and y’all) like it #Client!Anna #Cuddler!Elsa #wow these tags are literally 5 years old WOW #but I’ll add these too:#ace!Anna #asexual!Anna #I’m going to eat now though bc I’m STARVING I skipped dinner to finish this and get it posted #laser focus - but now I hUNGER #time to go eat my fridge

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madasthesea · 4 years

Text

Trope: May Dies

“Hey, Spider-Man,” Tony said, landing heavily on the roof he’d spotted Peter on.

Peter jumped. It was a bad sign he hadn’t heard the thrusters approaching—Tony wondered when the last time he ate was. How well he’d slept curled up in the corner of the rooftop, with what looked like a single blanket to keep him warm in the freezing Chicago wind.

Peter’s eyes were huge as he watched Tony step out of the suit.

“How did you—you-you weren’t supposed to find me.”

Yeah, Tony knew that. The kid had been so careful as he snuck out of the hospital and onto the top of a greyhound bus. He’d kept his face hidden, he’d stayed in the dark. He hadn’t even gone back to his apartment to get clothes and whatever cash May might have had lying around.

“Why not?” Tony asked, tilting his head as he walked forward. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to shake Peter or hug him.

Peter opened his mouth, then looked away, over his shoulder to his battered backpack. Tony looked at it as well, looked the kid up and down, and decided the conversation could wait.

“You tried the pizza here yet?” Tony asked.

Peter blinked, then shook his head.

“Let’s get some pizza.”

The pizza restaurant Tony picked was empty, which was why he had chosen it.

“Grab a table, kid,” Tony told Peter, then crossed to the bar, knocking on it until someone poked their head out from the kitchen.

After chatting with the chef and owner for a few minutes—and sliding them a couple hundred dollars as incentive to turned the sign on the door to closed, as least until Tony had left—Tony joined Peter at the corner booth he’d chosen. He understood the instinct to have something at your back, to be able to see every entrance, so he didn’t mention the choice, just slid into the red plastic booth.

Peter just watched him, looking apprehensive.

“Are you hurt, kid?”

Peter shook his head.

“Ok. I’m not even going to ask if you’re hungry, cause I’ve met you.”

Peter forced a half-smile. Tony hadn’t seen the kid this nervous since before the Vulture, more than eight months ago now.

While they were waiting for their food, Tony took the opportunity to get a good look at Peter, in the warm light of the pizza parlor.

He was pale, certainly. His cheeks were a little gaunter than Tony liked, and his hair greasier than Tony was used to seeing. Tony wondered if he’d had the chance to shower since he’d left New York.

The chef brought their food over and Tony let himself fuss a little bit, getting Peter a place and putting his straw in his water for him.

“Don’t eat too fast, you’ll make yourself sick,” he warned, and Peter looked up at him sharply. Tony didn’t know why he was surprised that he had put together that Peter had been living on the streets for the last several days.

Peter ducked his head, slowly eating his way through half the pizza.

Finally, after he put down his fork and knife, Peter cleared his throat.

“Um, thank you, Mr. Stark. Anyway, it was good seeing you and—”

“Peter.”

Peter stilled, closing his eyes.

Tony stirred his water with his straw, sighing.

“Let’s see if I’ve got the story straight,” he finally said, crossing his arms. “You get the call, you rush to the hospital and hear the news. They gave you, what, half an hour with May’s body?”

Peter flinched, sucking in a breath. His eyes were squeezed closed like he was in physical pain. Tony gave him a moment before continuing, his voice softer.

“And then the social services worker came to you and said they needed someone to call, an adult. Or it’d be CPS and a state sponsored grave for May. You panicked and gave them my number, waited until they left, and then you ran, went to the nearest bus station. Put your phone on a bus to D.C., your suit tracker on one to Philly—I got both of those back, by the way—and then came here. Why Chicago?”

Peter gave a one shouldered shrug, picking at a tear in the vinyl gingham tablecloth.

“Who would notice another homeless orphan?” He finally murmured, his voice so quiet Tony almost couldn’t hear him.

Tony clenched his jaw, gave an unhappy hum in response.

“So, what’s next? For you.”

“I got a job,” Peter said, a small gleam of pride in his eyes. Tony felt bad for dousing it, but he needed Peter to understand.

“Like a payroll job or a ‘thanks for helping, here’s ten bucks’ job?”

Peter frowned, his cheeks flushing. “It was fifteen,” he muttered, not looking at him.

Tony rubbed a hand down his face. Fifteen dollars might be enough to feed a single person for a day in a place like Chicago, but not someone with an enhanced metabolism. And who knew when the kid would get another break like that.

“Alright. Our arachnid friend ever gonna make an appearance?”

Peter bit his lip, glancing up at Tony. “I don’t know. There’s a lot of crime to stop, but I... might have to let go of the webs. Too distinct.”

“And when it starts dropping into the negatives, you still gonna be sleeping on that roof?”

Peter ducked his head in humiliation.

“I—I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”

“Jeez, Parker, I can’t even pretend to be ok with this anymore. If I hear you say one more thing like that I’m going to—I’ll spontaneously combust, I swear. Pete, you don’t have to do this.”

Peter’s jaw clenched and he looked away, out the window.

“What other choice do I have?”

Tony snorted a humorless laugh. “Are you kidding? Me, kid. You called me and I came. I haven’t slept in four freaking days cause I was losing my mind trying to find you, I can’t—I don’t understand. Remotely anything going on in that head of yours.”

Peter sniffed, drew a line in the condensation on his glass.

“I can’t stay in-in Queens. I can’t... I can’t keep the apartment, I can’t afford school. I’m not going into the system, Mr. Stark, I—I refuse.”

“Of course not. You’re coming home with me.”

Peter crumpled his napkin and threw it on the table in a burst of energy that made Tony jump. “I’m not a charity project, Tony!” He snapped.

Tony blinked in shock. “I know you’re—”

“I’m not leaving.”

Tony took a breath, tried to reign in his instinct to tell the kid he didn’t have a choice, to order him to obey. He thought briefly of the guardianship papers he’d filled out at the hospital, of the adoption papers his lawyer was already preparing, and wondered what Peter would say about them if he knew.

“Then neither will I,” he said, trying to diffuse the tension, settling back in the booth and holding his arms out. “I’ll just stay here, following you around like a weirdo. Someone will inevitably call the cops and I’ll get arrested for stalking a minor. I’m rich and famous so I’ll get out no problem, but I’ll be forever known as Stark the Stalker.”

Peter snorted, fighting to keep his scowl in place.

“Stalking Stark. That’s me. Is that what you want?”

“No,” Peter murmured. He seemed embarrassed by his outburst.

“Then come back with me,” Tony pleaded. “Not as a charity project, not because I... pity you, or anything, kid, but because the thought of you here, on your own, makes me—I can’t stand it, Peter.” Even saying it out loud made pain shoot down his left arm and he flexed his hand. Peter eyed him uncertainly, as if not sure he could believe him.

“I can’t go back to New York,” Peter whispered, his bottom lip trembling before he steeled himself.

It was progress, however small. Tony seized on it. “Fine, pick a state. Heck, pick a country. Are you a mountain or ocean person?”

“Tony.”

“The point is,” Tony said, reaching across the table and taking Peter’s hand to get his attention, “your room’s all ready, Pete. Or, if you secretly hate me, I’ll get you your own apartment, get groceries delivered, FRIDAY, the works. Anything. Anywhere. Just not this.”

Peter swallowed, staring down at the vinyl tablecloth.

“I don’t hate you.”

Tony pressed his thumb against the inside of Peter’s wrist.

“And I really don’t hate you. You’re one of the few people I really don’t hate, kid,” Tony said quietly, his mouth quirking up on one side. Peter breathed a short laugh, the plastic bench squeaking as he settled back against it.

Tony watched him chew on his lip for a few moments.

“Peter.”

The kid looked up, his expression equal parts hurting and hoping.

“You called me,” Tony reminded him. That was the part Tony really couldn’t understand: if this had been Peter’s intention the whole time, why would he give the hospital Tony’s number—the one person in the world who would, without a doubt, find him. No matter how long it took.

Peter’s bottom lip trembled and he scrunched his nose like that would successfully keep the tears back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I—I didn’t mean to use you for your money or anything, I just—I knew you would give her a good funeral.”

The air rushed out of Tony’s lungs in a rush and it was a moment before he could take another breath. He hadn’t been expecting that. He’d thought Peter had just panicked and run without really thinking about it.

“Of course,” he said, trying to sound less surprised than he was. He took a breath, then scooted further down the bench so his and Peter’s shoulders were nearly touching.

“May and I had a lot in common, actually,” he continued softly, reaching a hand out and tipping Peter’s chin up with his knuckle. “We both think the world of Peter Parker.”

The first tear spilled over. Tony sighed, brushing it away, and pushed Peter’s bangs off his forehead. Peter watched him with a cautious yearning in his eyes.

He thought about what he’d longed to hear when his parents died, when Jarvis went a few years later. He’d never really believed in Karma or divine punishment, but in the dark, alcohol tainted hours of the night, he would wonder if it was his fault.

“You don’t deserve this, buddy.”

Peter sucked in a breath like he’d been slapped. Then his face crumpled, a sob too-long forced down ripping from his throat.

HIs instinct was to curl up, hide his face. He crossed his arms on the sticky table top and went to bury his face in them, hiccupping gasps shaking his frame, but Tony intercepted him.

“Uh-uh. That’s what I’m here for, kiddo,” Tony murmured, pulling Peter into his arms and tucking the boy’s face into his neck. He curled his fingers into the short hair at the base of Peter’s neck and closed his eyes, his heart aching as Peter wept.

He let Peter cry himself out, sure that he hadn’t allowed himself to mourn, too focused on trying to survive. The poor kid had been orphaned, again, run away from the city he knew and loved, and was now sleeping on a rooftop in Chicago with fifteen dollars to his name.

As Peter’s tears began to taper off, Tony’s hand smoothing up and down his back, Tony paused his litany of gentle words to whisper, “Will you come back home, Peter?”

“Please,” Peter hiccupped. “Yes, please. Please.”

Tony clutched Peter to him a little tighter. “You don’t have to do these things on your own, buddy. I know you feel alone right now but you aren’t. I’m here. And I will not leave you.”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked, his voice nasally from crying. Tony felt him exhale a shaky breath against his throat.

Tony brushed his thumb along the knob of Peter’s spine in acknowledgment.

“I really don’t like Chicago.”

Tony snorted and pulled away, capturing Peter’s face in his hands, stroking his cheekbone.

“Me neither, kid. Let’s go home.”

#Irondad Bingo #Irondad and Spiderson #Tony Stark #Peter Parker #MCU #brotp: speaking of loyalty #my writing #fic

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sunshinejihyun · 3 years

Text

When the Ball Drops - Gavin

Author’s note: Happy New Years everyone! I was working to try and publish this yesterday, but that didn’t end up happening, so please pretend like it’s not 2021 yet and read this fic anyways LOL.

This is dedicated to my very lovely friend @saeyoungs-sunflower. Welcome back to the MLQC fandom! Here I am, just trying to ignite your love for Gavin even more.

I’m also using this fic to fill a request from a lovely anon who requested a Gavin fic with the prompt “Please get me away from him. He hasn’t left me alone all night and I am this close to committing a murder.” I hope you enjoy this, nonny!

Summary: As Gavin counts down to the new year, he wonders how things could take a turn for the better.

Word count: 1641

Warnings: jealous Gavin and lots of fluff!

Masterlist

The party was in full swing; people were standing around talking, the bass was pumping, and Gavin was leaning against the wall observing the girl who was currently listening intently to something Shaw was saying. Their heads were bowed together and she was smiling. Her hair was plastered to her forehead and her cheeks were flushed from the heat. She looked absolutely gorgeous, the only thing that would make it better was if Gavin was the one who’s forehead was pressed against hers.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Minor bumped his shoulder against Gavin’s and he spoke without tearing his eyes away from his brother and the girl he loved.

“Trying to think of a way that Shaw’s broken the law so I can throw him in jail for the rest of the night.”

Minor snorted at that moment and his loud noise drew the girl's gaze to the pair pressed against the wall. When her eyes met Gavin’s, they lit up and she sent him a sweet smile - one of the ones that went straight to his heart and caused it to ache with longing.

Shaw’s eyes met with his next and with that smirk he sent Gavin, he knew Shaw was up to something and before he could think about it further, Gavin watched as Shaw grabbed the girls hand and pulled her towards the dance floor.

The rest of the night went by in the same way: every time Gavin and her tried to make contact, Shaw would pull her away. Gavin was sick of it; all he wanted to do was pull her away from the crowd, maybe go outside, and spend some quality time with the woman he loved, but his younger brother made it nearly impossible to do so. So instead, Gavin stayed against the wall with Minor by his side - who occasionally left to get something to eat or drink - and watched the girl protectively. If he couldn’t be the one holding her, he’d be the one to keep her safe, just like he always promised.

A few hours later, Gavin had watched Shaw twirl her around on the dance floor, Kiro touch her wrist as he handed her a glass of water, Victor’s hand linger on her back for a few seconds too long when he spoke to her, and Lucien kiss her hand as he bid her farewell for the night. Gavin wanted to throw in the towel and go home, ready to lay in his bed and wallow in self pity for a bit while he thought of everything that those guys had but he didn’t. Gavin wouldn’t leave though, not if she was still there. He wanted to wish her a happy new year, wanted to welcome all the new things to come with her. It was important to him - she was important to him.

“Hey, where’d she go?” Minor clapped Gavin on the back, and normally Gavin would respond with a glare thrown in the other guys direction, but Minor’s comment already had Gavin’s eyes sweeping the area.

He couldn’t find her.

WIth blood rushing through his ears, Gavin set out. Weaving around all the dancing couples and avoiding the ones making out in the middle of the room, he searched. She wasn’t on the dance floor in the living room with Shaw, she wasn’t in the kitchen with Kiro, and she wasn’t somewhere arguing with Victor about her newest report for Miracle Finder.

Gavin was panicking.

Picking up his pace, he continued upstairs, opening bedroom doors (and disturbing couples who were trying to find a space away from people), and calling out her name. As he was walking around looking for her, a closet door opened and a hand shot out, pulling him inside with the person.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness and Gavin’s cheeks flushed red as he realized his body was pressed against the girl’s. “Geez, you’re strong.”

“Sorry, I heard you looking for me and I’ve been hiding out from Shaw in here so I figured it’d be easier to pull you in here than to come out. Shaw’s still looking for me.” “He’s going to see I’m gone too and assume the worst.” Gavin’s heart fluttered at that thought, the thought that anyone could assume they were together.

“Would that really be such a bad thing?” She asked, pushing her sweaty bangs from her forehead. “It’d make Shaw back off… seriously, please get me away from him. He hasn’t left me alone all night and I am this close to committing a murder.”

Gavin laughed at that. “I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to tell a cop you’re about to commit a murder.”

“Yeah, well a real friend would help me hide a body if I committed one.” She teased, prodding Gavin’s side with a slender finger. Even just that simple touch from her sent butterflies in his stomach up into a whirlwind.

“You can stick by me and Minor the rest of the night if you want,” Gavin said, watching as she picked at the colored polish on her nails. “Shaw thinks Minor is annoying and won’t come near us .”

“Really? That’d be great!” She threw her arms around Gavin’s waist in excitement and he swore it felt like time had stopped all around them and Victor hadn’t even used his Evol. Whether it be because she was thankful for Gavin keeping her out of his younger brother's way or the fact that she could… possibly feel the same for him that he did her, Gavin wanted to continue to hold her like this forever. She pulled back though, too soon for his liking. “Err, sorry. I’m just so thankful you’re letting me crash boy time!”

Gavin scoffed. “Boy time? Don’t let Minor hear that or he’ll never stop talking about it.”

Despite wanting to keep her all to himself, Gavin nudged open the closet door and slipped out, waiting a few seconds to make sure the coast was clear before knocking to let the girl know it was safe to come out. She followed Gavin, her hand clutching his worn jean jacket.

“There you are!” Shaw exclaimed, making his way towards Gavin and the girl. Gavin felt her prod him in the back and he knew he’d have to figure out how to make his brother leave quickly. “I’m here to claim my New Year’s Eve kiss.”

Shaw puckered up obscenely and Gavin cringed. But sure enough, all around him, couples were gathering and counting down.

Ten…

Gavin turned towards the girl, and she looked at him with a playful glint in her eye before mouthing the word ‘murder’ as she tilted her head in Shaw’s direction.

Nine…

Gavin stepped closer to her, his heartbeat hammering in his chest as his hands rested on her hips lightly.

Eight…

Her lips parted in shock, but she didn’t move away. Instead, she moved closer, one of her hands resting on the back of Gavin’s neck.

Seven…

Shaw muttered something about finally being able to leave her alone, but Gavin didn’t have time to question it. All he could focus on was the girl holding onto him like he was something precious to her.

Six…

The rest of the world around Gavin disappeared and all he could think, see, and smell was her. She had a small smile playing on her lips and he leaned his head back slightly into her hand as she played with his hair.

Five…

“Can I kiss you when the countdown reaches one?”

Four…

“I’d consider it a crime if you didn’t, officer.”

Three…

Gavin pulled her closer, his fingers wrapped into her belt loops and held her tightly to him.

Two…

She raised herself on tiptoes, her face dangerously close to Gavin’s face. Gavin swallowed nervously. His hands were sweaty and his heart was beating out of his chest.

One…

Gavin’s right hand left her hip to cup her cheek and pull her face close to his, their noses brushing.

“Happy New Year’s.” He whispered, voice gravelly. She responded in turn by pressing her lips to his.

Her lips were soft against his, gentle almost, and tasted slightly of cherry chapstick. It wasn’t one of those romantic movie kisses where he sweeps her off of her feet and carries her back to his motorcycle bridal style, but it left Gavin breathless nonetheless. It was perfectly her and better than anything he could have dreamed of, and believe him, he had dreamed of this moment many times before.

“Happy New Year’s,” she responded when she pulled back. Her cheeks were tinted pink just as Gavin could imagine his own were. “Thanks for doing that to help me get rid of Shaw.”

“I didn’t kiss you because it was a way to get Shaw to leave you alone.” Gavin said, causing her eyebrow to raise in a question. “I kissed you because I’ve wanted to for a long time.”

“Really?” Her neck flushed red and she bit her lip. “I didn’t know.” “I didn’t make it very obvious.” Gavin admitted, and instead of responding to him, she reached up and planted another kiss on his lips. “What was that for?”

“It’s for all the times I’ve wanted to kiss you in the past, but haven’t been able to!” She exclaimed and Gavin felt his heart thud in his chest.

“So… you’re saying…?” Gavin trailed off, not wanting to assume anything or put words in her mouth.

“I’m saying I can’t wait to spend 2021 with you.” She replied, a smile dancing across her lips.

This time, Gavin didn’t respond and opted for bending down to capture her lips with his own. He wasn’t sure what the next year would have in store, but he was looking forward to many more moments just like the one he was currently spending with her.

#mlqc gavin #Gavin x mc #gavin bai #mr love queen's choice gavin #mldd gavin #gavin mlqc fanfiction #mr love dream date gavin #bai qi #gavin bai x mc #My writing

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nerdypanda3126 · 3 years

Text

City of Love – Ch. 2

Here’s the second chapter of my work for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers secret admirer exchange! (Hey, @crescent-woods if I haven’t said it before, I uh... went a little overboard cause your prompt was so amazing!)

Read on Ao3

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Luka was lying down on his bed with his notebook splayed across his thighs as he blared white noise in his headphones and stared at his bedroom ceiling. There was a cobweb in the corner blowing softly in the breeze from their open windows and instead of focusing on writing music he found himself thinking that he’d never even seen the spider that made that web. A shiver ran through him. Blech. Spiders. Missing spiders, especially.

He was supposed to be working on an original song for his composition class. The professor had given them the assignment over the summer, “to get an idea of where you’re at,” the assignment had read, and for weeks Luka had stared at the blank sheet music and… absolutely nothing came to him.

Creating wasn’t really the problem; he’d always been creative. He’d always been fond of letting things come to him while his guitar was in his hands, but he’d never tried to write it down. He’d never cared if it was good or not. He’d never tried to create for a grade. He groaned and ripped his earbuds out to toss everything aside and sat up.

And found Sass leaning into the doorway with his eyebrows raised incredulously.

“What?” Luka snapped.

He wasn’t even sure he could call Sass his roommate. He’d barely even seen him for the week he’d been there. Although what he could’ve been doing was beyond Luka. He didn’t know the city, he hadn’t started classes yet, there was nowhere for him to go and nothing for him to do except see his girlfriend. And as far as Luka knew, they hadn’t managed to meet up yet.

“Rough day?” Sass smirked and walked over to sit down on his flimsy foldaway bed across from Luka.

Luka wiped a hand over his face and cursed in French under his breath. “What do you want?”

“Want? Why do I have to want anything? Can’t I ask you how your day is going?”

“You’ve hardly spoken to me since I picked you up at the airport.” Luka rolled his eyes and flopped back on his bed. “So I doubt you actually care.”

Sass hummed, in agreement or in thought Luka couldn’t tell. “You need to get out of here.”

Luka turned his head to look at Sass and quirked an eyebrow.

“I’m serious, staring at four blank walls, that’s your problem right there. You need to get out, get some air, meet some people.”

“You’re worse than Juleka,” Luka muttered darkly. “You don’t even know what my problem is.”

“I know boiling in self-loathing won’t get you anywhere. Lucky for you I have the solution. A night out with me and two amazing women.” He made a wide “voilà” motion with his arms, like he had just finished a stunning magic trick.

Luka scowled at him, his suspicion growing. “What do you need me for? Two amazing women, just keep them for yourself.”

“Well, one is for me, but the other…” he raised his eyebrows suggestively. When Luka kept scowling, Sass sighed in defeat. “Okay, fine. Tikki is refusing to meet me unless her host is with her. And she’s insisting I invite you, too.”

Luka’s scowl split into a smirk. “Oh, so you need a favor, that’s what this is about.”

“Yes, I need a favor.” When Sass was annoyed, his sibilants drew out into hisses, which amused Luka to no end. Sass rolled his eyes. “So will you come?”

“What happened to ‘I don’t need you, I don’t need your country, I’m too cool for this shit’?” Luka said, mimicking Sass’s subtle lyrical accent.

“You don’t have to be an ass about it. Will you come or not?”

“I absolutely do have to be an ass about it.” Luka grinned and sat up, savoring the way Sass’s scales were getting all ruffled. He could practically see the irritation roiling off his shoulders. “What if I don’t go? What happens then?”

“Then I tell your sister you’re being an awful host.” Sass’s dark eyes flashed as he bared his teeth in a wicked grin. “And she might decide to come along and make sure you make it up to me.”

Luka’s scowl returned. Sass had him pinned, and he knew it. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll go. But I’m picking the place. If I’m being forced out of the house, I’m at least going somewhere I’ll have fun.”

Sass shrugged and smiled down at his phone as he shot off a text, before he stood and stretched. “It’s settled, then. Let’s go.”

“What, now?”

“Yeah, now, what other time would we go?” Sass undid his ponytail and kept the band in his mouth as he redid it, recapturing the strands that had fallen out to frame his face. Now that Luka was looking at him, he was wearing a form-fitting olive green henley that set off his dark features well, along with dark wash jeans and black converse. Not exactly dressed to go out, but definitely dressed for an admiring female gaze.

He looked down at himself, at the ratty blue hoodie with chewed on strings, pit-stained white band shirt, and knee-less black skinny jeans he was wearing. For the hole in the wall he had in mind, it wouldn’t be out of place, but for meeting “two amazing women,” maybe not the best option. He ran a hand over the dark stubble on his cheek and through his hair he hadn’t even run a brush through today.

Sass rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll meet you out by your bike. 20 minutes, yeah?” He stood and offered his phone to Luka. “Wanna plug in the address?”

Luka took the phone from him, noting the contact picture of a young woman with a black and red pixie haircut blowing a kiss. Must be Tikki. He shrugged and typed in the name of the club he frequented and the address before he spun it on his palm to hand it back to Sass.

Sass left without another word and Luka pulled himself up to see if he could figure out what to wear. Not that it mattered; the club would be loud enough that he wouldn’t have to talk to whoever came along anyways. Which made it absolutely perfect.

***

“He said yes!” Tikki cried as she burst into Marinette’s room and flopped down next to her on the bed, triumphantly shoving her phone into Marinette’s hands.

“Your boyfriend? Of course he did.” Marinette was smiling as Tikki started chattering away, but her smile disappeared as she scrolled through the text chain. The text chain about meeting up tonight, but only if Marinette came along. Tikki’s insistence that it should be a group outing, that her boyfriend’s host should come along, too, so Marinette wasn’t left alone.

She gaped at Tikki. “You set me up with someone?”

“No, no, no,” Tikki rushed to reassure her, taking her phone back and clutching it to her chest, “not a set up! Just… someone to talk to in case I kinda disappear.”

“Isn’t the point of me coming so that you don’t disappear?” Marinette lifted an eyebrow.

Tikki’s phone pinged with an incoming message and Tikki’s face scrunched in concentration as she checked it. “He sent me an address and said 20 minutes. Do you know this place?”

She showed her screen again and Marinette couldn’t help but groan. Not only at the concept of getting ready to go out in 20 minutes, but also at the club name.

“I’ve been there before. Once. On a date.”

A date that went horribly wrong. He hadn't said anything about being a famous model, or that the press might be following him, or that he had a fiancée that might see him dancing with her in the papers the next day and might decide to stalk Marinette for the next few months. And when the paparazzi had swarmed the tiny club, he’d gotten startled and spilled her entire bright pink cocktail down the front of her white dress. One of her favorites, too. She frowned at the memory of the fiasco. She hadn’t been back since, and she'd sworn off dating to boot.

“We don’t have to go, if you don’t want to.” Tikki’s enthusiastic glow visibly dimmed.

She’d told Marinette a little about the guy she’d been seeing. They’d been long-distance for so long and Paris was halfway for both of them, so they figured they’d meet up, see how it went. Of course that wasn’t the only reason she was there, Tikki had assured Marinette, she’d always wanted to go to Paris. But meeting her boyfriend was definitely part of the plan and Marinette did worry about Tikki being safe. She said she knew him, that they’d been talking forever and she knew what he looked like and he would never hurt her. But it also never hurt to have a backup plan in situations like this.

Marinette sighed. “Of course we’re going.” She glanced over Tikki’s loose staying-home outfit for the day and smirked. “But not in that. Hang on.”

Marinette hopped up and ran over to her closet. “I was saving this for a rainy day.” She flicked through her hangers to find it. The perfect little black dress. A deep v-neck that plunged to where the fabric nipped in at the waist, a flirty skirt that floated away and landed gently just above the knee. Tikki would kill in it with her adorable pixie frame. Marinette showed it to her and delighted in the way her eyes lit up.

“But what about you?” Tikki asked.

Marinette shrugged. “It’s not really about me, is it?” She grinned and tossed the dress at Tikki before turning back to select a light pink tank top, a gray leather jacket and a pair of distressed skinny jeans. She shrugged as she laid them out on the bed and Tikki frowned.

“What if you like this guy?”

Marinette rolled her eyes and bent down to grab a pair of strappy black heels. She raised her eyebrows at Tikki as she added them to the pile. “Et voilà.”

This time, Tikki grinned and ran off to her room, clutching the dress to her chest. Marinette shook her head. As long as it was a one-time thing, she didn’t mind coming along for the night. Whoever this mysterious guy was, one thing was for sure. He was in the same boat she was. So she’d make nice, for Tikki’s sake, and hope for the best. If she hated him, she’d never have to see him again. If she liked him…

Well, that was maybe assuming too much.

Translations:

Et voilà: And there it is

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #mlb fic #lukanette #lukanette endgame #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #marinette and tikki #luka and sass #human kwami #fic title: city of love

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impalaimagining · 4 years

Text

Stuck In The Middle - Part 6

Jared Padalecki x Reader x Jensen Ackles

1,503 words

Warnings: insecurities, angst, implied smut

Written for CindyJo Shamblin as the next part of her Shotgun Riders series!

*unedited

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

You went inside for the night, showering and changing into the same clothes you’d worn the night before. When you walked into the hallway from the guest bathroom, Jared caught you around the hip.

“Hey.” He looked down at you with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry.”

You frowned, pulling your gaze away from him. “Why are you apologizing?” You mumbled.

“For jumping into this without even trying to talk to you about it first. That wasn’t fair to you.” He explained.

With a shrug and a chuckle, you bit your bottom lip. “A little warning might’ve been nice. It’s not every day you end up in a… a polyamorous relationship.”

“Is that what we’re calling this? That sounds a hell of a lot better than what Jensen called it.” Jared teased.

“Oh no.” You closed your eyes. “What did he call it?”

“Uh, a three way, if I’m not mistaken.”

Your eyes bulged from your head. “He wh- a what?”

Jared’s laughter filled the air around you. “Easy. He didn’t mean that.” He licked his lips. “Unless…”

You shook your head quickly, cheeks warm with embarrassment, or maybe with desire. “I don’t - I don’t know if…”

“I said take it easy.” Jared squeezed your hip. “We wouldn’t push that on you. Throughout this whole thing? Decisions are gonna be up to you. You call the shots here.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” You confessed. “I don’t know if I can call the shots. I don’t - Jared, I don’t know what I want.”

He drew back and opened his mouth, no words falling from it. He furrowed his brows and shook his head. “What do you mean you don’t know what you want?”

“I mean with you. With Jensen. I know I want both of you, there’s no question about that. You’re both… incredible. I just don’t know what I want because I don’t know what the two of you expect from me.” You looked at the floor.

“Okay.” Jared pursed his lips. “We need to sit down and talk.” He took your hand and pulled you toward Jensen’s bedroom.

Jensen emerged from the shower, the scent of his soap flooding the room. He furrowed his brows as his eyes fell on you and Jared. “Everything okay?” He asked hesitantly.

“Gotta talk.” Jared drew his lips into a thin line, his eyes darting down to you quickly.

“Already?”

“No, not already. That’s how this is going to start.” Jared explained. “I need to apologize. To both of you. I shouldn’t have jumped the gun. I didn’t think before I did it - not enough at least. I should’ve mulled it over before I brought it up to you.”

“So you jumped the gun and now you’re regretting it.” You muttered quietly.

“Stop that.” Jared put his finger under your chin and tipped your head up so you were looking at him. “I don’t regret it. I don’t regret anything that’s happened over the last twenty-four hours.” He bent down and pressed his lips against yours. “I don’t regret a damn thing.” Jared whispered, his lips still close enough to yours that you could feel his breath.

“Okay.” Jensen cleared his throat and pulled his shirt over his head. “What do we need to talk about then?”

“How this is going to work, what we want out of this.” Jared explained.

“Logistics.” Jensen chuckled, shaking his head.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Yes, logistics. We need to figure it out, because we can’t risk-”

“Jealousy.” Jensen finished the sentence, and Jared nodded. “Yeah, we can’t fuck this up.” He huffed a laugh, ducking into the bathroom and hanging his towel on the hook before returning within a few seconds.

“Sit down.” Jared motioned toward the bed and you perched yourself on the edge of it. “What do you want?” The question left your jaw slack, hanging open. “Besides ‘us.’” He air-quoted.

“Like you can read my mind.” You sighed.

“Anyway.” He raised his brows. “What do you want - out of this?”

“I…” You bit your bottom lip. “Can Jensen go first?”

Jensen laughed and fluttered his eyelids. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I want this. I want you.” He looked down into your eyes before sitting beside you and resting his hand on your leg.

You settled in at the table, Jensen bringing over a plate for each of you.

“I’m being wined and dined, huh?” You wiggled your brows.

“If you call a subpar steak and lumpy potatoes wining and dining, then sure.” Jared teased. Jensen plucked a piece of a carrot off his plate and chuck it at Jared’s face.

“Son of a bitch.” You grabbed the carrot off the table after Jared had deflected it and it bounced off the side of your cheek.

“Oh no.” Jared leaned away from you. “No, no, no.” He held his hands in front of his face. You wound up, aiming the vegetable at Jared, and as he ducked out of what would’ve been the line of fire, you spun and launched it at Jensen instead. The carrot plunked against Jensen’s forehead, and you cackled. Tipping your head back and clutching at your sides, you and Jared fell into a fit of laughter.

“Very funny.” Jensen grumbled, stabbing his fork into his steak, sawing his knife through the meat. “Eat before it gets cold.”

Jared straightened his back and squared his shoulders, raising his hand in a salute. “Yes, sir.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” Jensen rolled his eyes and threw Jared a sarcastic laugh.

“Hey.” You pointed at them with the end of your fork. “Be nice to each other. The last thing I want to do is play referee all the time.” Jared popped a piece of steak in his mouth and chewed, smirking. With another roll of your eyes, the three of you fell into a comfortable silence, save for the sounds of forks and knives clinging against the ceramic plates.

Two weeks passed, and you made your trip back home to gather the rest of your things. They’d asked you to move in.

You were floored by their offer, and even more so when they agreed on a new sleeping arrangement. Everyone in the same bed. Every night.

“That way, you won’t have to choose.” Jensen explained. “No jealousy.”

“No jealousy.” You repeated, throat dry at the thought of sleeping between the two of them. “But wh-”

“Please don’t ask what I think you’re going to ask.” Jensen chuckled.

“What happens when we… eventually, I mean…” You fidgeted with your fingers in your lap.

“Yeah, I get it.” He laughed nervously, cheeks flushing pink. “What happens when you’re having sex with one of us but not the other? That’s what you’re about to ask, isn’t it?” You nodded dumbly. “I don’t know.” Jensen confessed with another chuckle. “I guess - I mean, I figured it would just kind of be-”

You choked on the breath you were inhaling as Jensen spoke. “Both of you?” You sputtered, eyes bulging from their sockets.

Jensen shrugged. “I guess - I don’t know.” He fumbled over his words.

Jared watched the two of you interact. “Still gotta figure out logistics?” He grinned, and you swatted him away by his chest.

“He might be right.” Jensen offered. “We might have to work things out on like a - a schedule?”

“A fuck schedule?” You laughed and shook your head. “We need to be on a fuck schedule.” Looking up at Jared, you bit your lip. “Never in my life.”

“To be fair, I never pictured myself in this situation either.” Jared winked.

“Well, you’re both here, and I’m here.” Jensen reminded you and yawned. “And I’m tired, so let’s figure this out so we can get in bed.”

You widened your eyes again. “Jensen, do y- do you think something is - is gonna happen tonight?”

“Relax.” He waved his hand dismissively. “I’m not expecting you to sleep in bed naked with us the same way you sleep in bed naked in your own room.”

Your cheeks heated with embarrassment. “You weren’t-”

“I wasn’t supposed to know?” He smirked. “I’ve checked in on you a couple times after you go to bed.”

“That’s a little creepy.” Jared chimed in.

“It’s sweet.” You admonished, still unable to look at Jensen.

“Don’t worry.” Jensen patted your thigh. “I haven’t seen anything other than a shoulder or a thigh here and there.” He winked, making your cheeks even warmer. “Not yet, anyway.”

You knew it would happen eventually - or at least, you hoped it would. But to sit in the same room as them, the three of you talking about how they were going to share you, how each of them were going to fuck you, how you were theirs? It made you squirm. It was every fantasy you’d ever had, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t sitting in a soaked pair of underwear at the thought of the two of them having their way with you.

Part 7

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kaeyas-wifehusband · 4 years

Text

Forever Connected: Part 2

(Writer’s Note: Hnnng it’s finally here. I know I said this a dozen times already, but thank you so much for being patient with me! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story and have a good day!)

Part 1

Summary: As the current Avatar, Aang is aware that he is spiritually tied to all the ones that came before him. After a horrifying experience, he begins to wonder just how deep connections can be and if some bonds were destined to be made. (This story is based on the Kummi/Taang theory so please go check that out if you haven’t yet.)

The following day was equally bright and warm as the previous. Toph sat at the edge of the bluff, her feet dangling. She fiddled with some grass in one hand while using the other to rest her head. Typically, she wasn’t the kind of person to worry. Being down-to-earth was one of her best qualities. Yet, yesterday’s events still weighed heavy on her mind. Aang had always been a bit unusual, at least to her. Being both an airbender and the avatar made it easy to understand why. His strongly contrasting personality occasionally caused issues between the two of them. At the same time, it drew them together. They balanced each other.

“Er, hey.”

“Son of a-” she gasped, harshly jolted out of her thoughts. “Ugh, Aang, don’t scare me like that. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

He chuckled and plopped down beside her. “Heh, sorry ‘bout that. Have you been waiting long?”

“Mm, nah. I’ve only been here for like...half an hour? Forty-five minutes at most.”

“Aww, you mean you didn’t stay all night? And here I thought you loved me.” he said, his voice dripping with obvious faux disappointment.

He was rewarded with a playful punch on the shoulder. Following that was “Shut it, Twinkle Toes.”

“Ow! Haha, okay, fine. Jeez.”

He rubbed his arm and for a moment, there was silence. It wasn’t anything like the day before, however, or like any other time for that matter. It felt awkward now; heavy. Part of him considered just forgetting the whole ordeal. It would be much easier to simply pretend that it never happened and that everything would be back to normal. Although, she would never put up with that. All those years of her drilling it into him to be upfront, to say what was on his mind, left a lasting impact. He took in a deep breath and exhaled.

“Look, about yesterday..I didn’t mean to freak you out-”

“Aang, you scared me.”

A pang of guilt flowed through him. “Er, right. I’m sorry about that. I’m also sorry for just flying off without explaining anything to you.”

“As you should be.”

“See, the thing is...I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it then because,” he scratched the back of his head. “I wasn’t exactly sure what was wrong, to be honest.”

She raised a brow and flicked some grass on him. “Well, that sure makes a whole lotta sense.”

“But I did some meditating and, well, have you ever heard of Kuruk?”

“Wasn’t he, like, the avatar before Kyoshi or somethin’?”

“Yeah! He immediately followed Yangchen in the avatar timeline and originated from the Northern Water Tribe!”

Toph sighed and laid back on the greenery. “Well, thanks for the history lesson, I guess. But how does any of that relate to your little meltdown? “Okay, first of all, it wasn’t a meltdown. Second, I’ll get to that part. Try being patient,” He heard her mumble something incoherent, then chose not to acknowledge it. Patience wasn’t exactly her virtue and she loathed being told what to do. He cleared his throat and continued. “Kuruk was, uhh, not exactly a good avatar. Not like evil or anything. He just...didn’t do much. Yangchen was apparently so good at creating peace among the four nations that he assumed he didn’t have to carry out any of his avatar duties. He didn’t uplift the voices of the needy. He didn’t protect people from harm. He didn’t promote harmony. Nothing.”

“Sure sounds like a real loser, huh?”

Aang crossed his legs and looked up towards the sky. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Anyway, he fell in love with Ummi, a woman from the Southern Water Tribe. They spent a lot of time together. She meant everything to him and they later got married.”

“Oh, so THAT’S who you were yelling for yesterday.”

“I...I was?”

“Yep. Don’t ya remember?”

“Alright, there was a lot going on in that moment. So if I forget some details, I’m frankly fine with it.”

Toph shrugged. “Understandable.”

There was a long pause. Though Toph had her feet still hanging over the edge, she could sense a deep sadness within him. Before she could say anything, however, he went on.

“Then...something terrible happened,” he swallowed. “As some sort of twisted punishment for Kuruk’s inactiveness, Koh flat-out abducted Ummi on her wedding night and stole her face. Which ultimately...well-”

“Killed her?”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment, allowing the heaviness of the story to set in. Toph wasn’t one to feel affected by such tragic tales. This was different though. Not only because it clearly had a strong impact on Aang, but also because it felt familiar. How that was so wasn’t exactly understandable to her; not yet that is. Some part of her was able to not just imagine what Ummi went through, but practically feel it as well. (Shock. Fear. Despair.)

“And yesterday, when we were hanging out, I think I sort of...re-lived that experience,” He turned his head towards her. “Because when I looked at you, I didn’t see you. I mean I did, but not the you that I know. Instead, I saw Ummi. Faceless,” He bit his lip and averted his gaze. “Dead.” The last word weighed greatly and hung in the air.

“Wait...what do you mean when you say that you saw me but not really?”

He sighed. “It’s kinda complicated. Like, I’ll tell you, but you have to swear you won’t think I’m weird.”

There was a snicker. “Too late for that, Twinkle Toes. But go on.”

“I think...as wild as it seems...you may be a reincarnation of Ummi.”

It was preposterous. That is, it should’ve been. An expected reaction would have involved a hardy laugh or perhaps a jab to the arm; a “Haha. Aren’t you funny? Now stop being dumb.” most likely following. This wasn’t what happened, though. Her lack of surprise almost concerned her. All she requested was an explanation.

And she received one.

So he told her about everything. He told her about seeing her in the magical swamp and that he initially believed she would be someone he would meet, yet perhaps he already did in another life. (“Time is an illusion and so is death.”) Then he spoke of the anxiety-ridden nightmare he had shortly before battling Ozai. In it, she was not like Katara or Sokka. Their demise was swift and intense. Hers wasn’t. She was not consumed by fire or earth. Rather, she was cold, faceless. (“We see visions of people we lost, people we’ve loved, folks we think are gone. They’re not.”) Aang told her how, like Kuruk, he was passive. What made it different is that it was a habit he kicked, thanks to her help. She gave him what he needed; what Kuruk needed many, many years ago.

“But this probably sounds like a bunch of nonsense to you, doesn’t it?” he mumbled, eyes cast downward.

“No.”

“No?”

“Maybe a few years ago, if you told me all this, I would’ve not believed you.”

“And probably laugh at me.”

“Oh, I’d definitely laugh at you,” she said while stretching her arms and sitting up. “That was then, though. This is now. Since we met, things that I never thought could happen, happened. I’ve long since given up on the concept of impossible. You’ve opened me up to so many possibilities and plausibilities…and stop crying.” She reached over and tenderly swiped her thumb across his cheek.

“Hey, it’s your fault.” Aang half-chuckled, half-sobbed.

“Pfft, my apologies. Next time I’ll just tell you to shut up, deal?”

“Deal.”

He looked at her, the setting sun casting an ethereal glow on her being. Golden rays beamed upon her, upon the scenery. The gentle breeze carried the scent of sea salt. In this moment, everything was serene. His hand reached out to her face, connected. She leaned into the touch. (Safe. Secure. Found) Being intentional, careful, he softly pressed his lips against hers. (Home.)

“I love you.” he whispered as their mouths parted.

“Love ya, too, crybaby.”

#taang #my post #toph #aang #atla #avatar:the last airbender #fanfic #fanfiction

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dear-yandere · 3 years

Text

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!!

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian.

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two: hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ]#[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ]#[ now to answer concept asks ]

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

Text

Love Me Anyway - Tyler Seguin - Part 1

Word Count: 1694

POV: Reader and Tyler (it switches)

Warnings: Language (apparently that’s just the way I write)

Notes: Ok so here it is, literally the first thing I ever wrote for someone else to read. This is where it all started. I never finished the series but I think there are about 7 or 8 parts of that are done. I’ll publish some of it, and you guys can let me know if you want more of it. Peace, Love and Hugs all!

READER POV

Work had been a hell of a week. So when your friends suggested going out and letting off some steam Friday night you were all in. You got home from work and debated on what to wear. You were in the mood for cute and sexy. It’d been 6 months since you and Kyle; otherwise known as he who shall remain nameless, broke up. You’d gone out on a couple of dates but nothing came of it. Browsing through your closet looking for something that said I’m available; you settled on a pair of cute dressy black shorts with an off the shoulder lacy black top. Nothing that said slut, but the outfit did say you were looking. Hearing your phone ding, immediately knowing your friends were here to pick you up. You finished putting on your sandals, grabbed your bag and headed out the door.

The four of you headed to a little restaurant for dinner and some pre-party drinks. As always, being with your girls just made you feel so much better. After dinner you decided to hit the club. You and your friend Jenna had a few too many pineapple martinis at the restaurant, so that first drink at the club you really felt. You knew you needed to slow down. So you went to the bar to grab a water. The bartender was cute, and here you were asking for water...ugh. So you quickly changed your train of thought and ordered a tequila sunrise to go with that water. Mr. Hot Bartender grabbed the water fairly quick; so you took a few quick sips as he went mix your other drink. Solely focusing on Mr. Hottender; as you were now calling him; you weren’t ready when some bumped into you spilling your water on you and the bar.

“Damn It” you whisper yelled as Mr. ‘I’ve drank too much and am stumbling into people’ looks over at you. “I’m so sorry” he said. “Let me buy you a new drink?” You turned to tell him that it wasn’t necessary, when you realize...it's Tyler freakin Seguin. What are the chances? Ok so yes you’re a hockey fan that’s number one. Two you can appreciate that Tyler is hot in every way; and three he’s also the equivalent of a male whore. And lord knows you don’t want to be another notch on his bedpost. He probably has so many notches he’s had to get a new bedposts, twice. You look at him finally saying “It’s not necessary”; turning your head dabbing the water off of you and the bar.

“No really, I’m super sorry, let me make it up to” Tyler implored.

“Look its only water, so no harm done” you casually replied.

Just then Mr. Hottender returned with your mixed drink. You went to hand him a 20. Shaking his head, he rejected the money, “looks like this one’s on him.” Nodding over to Tyler who was standing next to you.

You smiled over at Tyler and said “It really wasn’t necessary, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome, so do you come here often?”

“You’re really gonna use that lame pick up line” you fired back.

Tyler looked sheepishly down at the floor and then back up at you. “What I meant to say was...I haven’t really seen you around here before. I would’ve noticed someone as beautiful as you.”

You looked him straight in the eye, and you both bursted out laughing.

“Sorry that really wasn’t much better was it” he laughed.

“No not really” you chuckled in return. “But to answer your question, I’ve been here a few times, not many. I’m out with some friends. Speaking of which, they’re probably wondering where I went off to. Thanks again for the drink.” With that you turned, heading off, back to your friends.

“Wait” Tyler grabbed your wrist, spilling your water some more; but you didn’t even notice that. There was something about when he touched you, a spark and not the static electricity kind. Your eyes moved to where his hand touched your wrist. It was like there was this magnetism in his touch that drew you in; skin feeling hot and cold at the same time. You wanted him to let go but then never let go; you couldn’t explain it. It seemed like forever but then you finally heard him say, “What’s your name?”

As you looked up. He let go of your arm and the spell was broken. “(Y/N), and that’s all you get. You’ve got to work for the rest.” With that you moved with lightning speed back to where your friends were at.

TYLER’S POV

You were glad to be back in Dallas. More importantly you were elated that you were back to playing hockey. Summer break was always fun but hockey was your passion. You had a little over a week before training camp, so you were going to live it up just a little bit longer before the season started. Which is how you ended up at the club and saw her walking in. She had the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen. She was with a group of friends and they were all laughing at something one of them had said. You couldn’t take your eyes off her. She wasn’t your typical girl. She definitely carried herself differently. Planning on what move to make on her, your train of thought was interrupted by your friend Mike.

“Earth to Seggy, did you not hear a word I said man?”

“Huh? What? No sorry” you replied.

“I said that blonde over there is giving you the ‘fuck me’ eyes. Are you gonna go make a move or what?”

“What blonde? There are like a million here. Besides I’ve got more important things on my mind.”

Mike looked at you quizzically. “More important than getting laid!”

You finally looked at him and said “yeah didn’t you see that girl come in.” When he shook his head you continued, “the one over…..” Shit where did she go. You just saw her a second ago. You scanned the club looking for her and didn’t see her.

“Are you sure it’s not that blonde right there. I mean she looks like she’s totally down for anything.”

“I could care less about her. Go shoot your shot if you want. I’m more interested in finding that girl with the million dollar smile.”

Mike shrugged at you and moved over to the blonde he was talking about. You continued to search the club when your eyes finally landed on her. There she was smiling again, sipping on some cocktail every now and then, which made you wish you were the straw. She seemed to be with just a group of girls but you could see guys swirling all around them. She whispered something to one of her friends and was headed off to what looked like the bar. This was your chance.

You made your way up to the bar, dismissing some girl trying to get your attention. You planned on just buying her a drink when some guy bumped you; causing you to stumble into her spilling her drink. Shit, you thought not a way to make a great first impression. You apologized and offered to buy her a drink to make up for it. When she finally looked at you; it was like there was a moment of recognition in her face. Great, she knows who I am this is going to be easy;and then she turned and dismissed you.

What the hell just happened you thought to yourself? You tried to apologize again, when she told you it was just water. You saw Nick the bartender coming back with another drink for her so you nodded your head to him; signaling for him to just put it on your tab.

She finally really acknowledged you, thanking you for the drink. You saw your chance.

“You’re welcome, do you come here often?” Seriously what just came out of my mouth? Ugh this is going horribly.

She totally called you out on it. “You’re really gonna use that lame pick up line?”

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks so you looked down at the floor to get your shit together and started again. “What I meant to say was...I haven’t really seen you around here before. I would’ve noticed someone as beautiful as you.”

Oh my god!!! That’s not what you meant to say at all! I have way more game than this. You looked at her, saw her start to laugh; and just busted out laughing right with her. God her laugh was even beautiful. It was like a melody you kept wanting to replaying over and over in your mind.

You apologized yet again. You were doing that a lot around her; but she was at least smiling at you now, and then she started answering your lame ass question. As soon as she finished though she turned to leave. You did the first thing that came to your mind and reached out to touch her, to stop her from going. “Wait,” you said.

The minute you touched her you knew there was something between the two of you. She just felt right, like she was made for you. You had been drawn to her the minute she walked in, but this, this was different. You wanted to draw her closer to your body and never let go. You looked into her eyes and could tell she was feeling something too. You let go and asked the one thing you needed to know right now. “What’s your name?”

She visibly shook herself and answered, “(Y/N), and that’s all you get. You’ve got to work for the rest.” With that she was off again and you were left standing there knowing that you’d work your ass off for any little piece of information she’d give you.

#Love Me Anyways Series #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction

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tinydooms · 4 years

Note

#30 (“There are souls that you feel to lean forward to, like a sun-filled window”) for Rick/Evy?

#30 “There are souls that you feel to lean forward to, like a sun-filled window”

The Western Desert, October 1922

An hour out from Hamunaptra, night had finally fallen over the Western Desert. Rick sat on his camel, rocking gently back and forth with each step, the girl he loved snug and warm in his arms.

Holding Evelyn Carnahan to him, hugging and kissing and being kissed by her, felt like the best thing that had ever happened to Rick. And it just kept getting better. For the last little while they had shared quiet kisses, lips meeting and clinging with wonder and affection or brushing each other’s faces and brows and hair. There was a wonderful moment when Evie pressed her lips to the hollow in Rick’s collarbones, tasting the smooth skin there, a sensation that gave him a delicious full-body shiver. Evie looked up at him with amusement in her glowing eyes.

“All right?” she whispered.

“Yes,” Rick said, bending his head to kiss her again. “You’re perfect.”

Evie grinned at him, her face crinkling up in pleasure, and squeezed him a little. “Good.”

She tucked her head into Rick’s shoulder, idly stroking his arm. It was wonderful to be so entwined, arms around each other. Evie was so soft in his arms, so cozy and comfortable. Rick dropped a kiss on the top of her head and felt her smile. This really was just the nicest feeling. The camel’s gate rocked them together, soothing them both after the chaos of the past few days. Little by little Evie stilled, hooking her thumb into the turn of his sleeve, and after a while Rick felt her go heavy as she fell asleep.

Rick took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and rested his cheek against Evelyn’s dear head. He had read stories where the hero had cradled his beloved to him like this, but had never really believed it would happen to him. Before the War, maybe, but since then he had seen and experienced and participated in the absolute worst that humanity had to offer, and there had been no place for love or romance in it. And afterwards...Rick pushed the memory of Afterwards away, not wanting to dwell on how lost and hopeless he had been. Focus on the present. Focus on this remarkable gift. Rick was no stranger to physical pleasure, but this was something different. He burned everywhere Evie touched him, where her arm rested around his waist, her hand on his hip, the fingers of her other hand tracing patterns into his forearm, and yet there was something different in this pleasure than the other times he had been with women. This was permanent. He wanted to take Evie to bed, sure, but he also wanted to go places with her, to listen while she explained the past to him, to watch her dig things up out of the dirt. From the way she held him, looked at him, Evie wanted that, too. She was safe and alive despite everything, and she loved him, and Rick didn’t want to ever let her go. She was a bright shining light; she warmed his soul. He shifted the reins to one hand and reached up to cradle Evie’s head, letting his eyes close in relief. He had been so afraid that he would lose her.

A camel’s snort jolted Rick out of his reverie. Jonathan had brought his mount alongside them and was fussing with a blanket roll strapped to one of his saddlebags.

“Here,” he said, “take this. Is Evie asleep?”

“Yeah,” Rick said, taking the proffered blanket, a little embarrassed. “Has been for a while.”

Jonathan didn’t seem at all phased. “Good, she needs it, poor kid. Here, I’ll hold your reins.”

Rick handed them over and shook out the blanket, shifting to wrap it around Evie’s bare shoulders. The temperature was falling fast; at least he and Jonathan had long sleeves to offer a minimum of protection against the nighttime cold. Evie’s sweater was long gone. She did not wake as Rick snugged the blanket around her, but mumbled a little before subsiding again against his chest. Rick smiled, resisting the urge to brush his lips against her hair, and took his reins back from Jonathan. He wondered what the other man thought of it all, if he would say anything. But when Jonathan did speak, it wasn’t about Evie.

“How long, do you think, until we reach the little oasis?”

Rick looked around at the moonlit landscape. They had come a good way along the trail, but he had only been paying partial attention to it.

“Uh, four or five miles, I’d say,” he said. “An hour, tops. You holding up okay?”

“Oh, yes, I’m fine. A bit sore and sleepy, but I’ve had worse.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, Rick was beginning to feel the after effects of battle. He hurt all over his body, and his throat was sore where Imhotep had choked him. He reached up to touch it, his fingers meeting the last of the rope burn from when he had been hanged. Rick swallowed. It could all have ended so badly. He drew in another deep breath, feeling his chest expand and release. He was alive. They were alive.

“Thank you,” Jonathan said abruptly. “For all this. For saving my sister. Couldn’t have done it without you, old chap.”

“You’re welcome,” Rick said, giving him a small smile. “Thanks for having my back.”

“Well, I’ve never left a partner in the lurch yet,” Jonathan said with a shrug. “I’m no hero, but I’m not that bad.”

“Heroes only exist in fiction,” Rick said. “The rest of us just do what needs to be done, even when we’re shit scared. Besides, I couldn’t live with myself if Evelyn had been killed.”

“No, I’d gathered that.” Jonathan chuckled. “You’ve been making calf eyes at her almost from the beginning.”

Rick felt himself reddening. “Am I that obvious?”

“Oh, Evie’s just as bad. Ardeth Bey thought the two of you were married.”

“He did?”

It came out a squawk; Evie stirred in his arms and Rick struggled to contain his laughter. He couldn’t help it; they were alive, and he was so happy. Jonathan, too, was chuckling. It was the sort of laughter between friends, the giddy delight of having survived an impossible situation. Rick knew that when they returned to Cairo all sorts of conversations were going to have to take place, but for now he was content to just be here with Evie, with Jonathan. They rode on in silence, Jonathan dozing in his saddle, until they reached the little oasis and dismounted for the night.

A second wind restored all of them then, as Rick found that the saddlebags were not loaded with the expected camping gear and supplies, but rather the wealth of Hamunaptra, and Evie learned about that scarab that had burrowed into Jonathan’s arm. Rick looked over their food supplies as she fussed over her brother, feeling kind of guilty. He had completely forgotten about the scarab incident in all of the tumult that had followed. The wound looked awful, purple puckers all the way up Jonathan’s arm and a neat stab where Rick had dug the thing out. He shivered.

“Are you all right?” Evie asked, looking him over. “Have you got any awful injuries that you haven’t told me about?”

“No, ma’am,” Rick said.

“Are you sure? Because if I find that you’re hiding any manageable hurts from me because of manly pride, I’ll-”

Rick held his hands up. “I’ve only got bruises.”

It wasn’t quite true; he was pretty sure he’d cracked a rib or two, but he wasn’t about to let Evie strip him to the waist. They weren’t there yet. Instead, he focused on dinner, dividing up their meager supplies, cutting up the stale bread and spearing it on sticks to toast over the fire. They could have some of the jerky now, and an apple each. In the morning they’d finish the bread, and there were date palms at the other end of the pond, so they wouldn’t starve, but it would be a long, hungry day until they reached the cultivation and villages to barter with.

“We’ll manage,” Evie said, turning her stick to toast the bread evenly. “As long as we have water, anyway.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Rick said.

“It’ll be nice to be back properly,” Evie said, settling back with her toast and apple. “Do you think the house was damaged in the firestorm?”

“I’d be surprised if it wasn’t,” Jonathan replied. “We’ll call up Daoud as soon as we get back to the fort and check.”

“I hope they’re all right,” Evie said. “You know how Fatima hates thunder and lightning. She was probably terrified.”

“Well, we won’t tell them that we had anything to do with, what?” Jonathan shook his head. “I don’t think they need to know that we’ve been conjuring afreets.”

Rick looked from one to the other. “Who’re Daoud and Fatima?”

“Our reis and housekeeper,” Jonathan replied. “They’ve been with us forever; Daoud was Father’s foreman, and then he had to retire from that because of an injury, so Father asked him to manage the household instead. Fatima’s his wife.”

“So you’ve known them your whole lives?”

Evie and Jonathan nodded.

“Our parents had rather a magpie approach to family,” Evie said. “Father and Daoud knew each other as young men and considered each other brothers, and Fatima and Mum were dear friends. Simple, really.”

Rick grinned. The magpie approach seemed to run in the family. “Where’s your house at?”

“In Zamalek, on Gezira Island,” Evie said.

Rick blinked. “I know where Zamalek is. Swanky place.”

Evie and Jonathan glanced at each other. Rick felt a sudden worry.

“I mean, it’s not Garden City…” he trailed off, uncertain. He knew Zamalek to be a nice, safe, quiet place; it was where the nice restaurants and the opera house were.

“It’s an old house,” Evie said, her voice hesitant. “It’s been getting a badly-needed new roof. It’s not fancy. But I think you’ll like it. It has a little courtyard and plenty of space.”

“‘Course you’ll want to let your own people know you’re alright,” Jonathan added. “You mustn’t let us monopolize you.”

“I, uh--” Rick rubbed the back of his head. This was going to be awkward no matter how he went at it. “I don’t have anyone. Any people. I mean, I don’t have a family or anything. It’s just been me since I was thirteen. My mom died and she was my only family, so...”

They stared at him. Embarrassed, Rick poked at the fire with his stick, avoiding their eyes.

“How old are you, Rick?” Jonathan asked. His voice sounded funny, kind of soft.

“I’m twenty-eight.”

“So you’ve been all alone for fifteen years?” Evie’s voice was soft, too, and horrified.

“Yeah. I mean I had friends in the army, but I guess...yeah.”

For a moment there was silence only broken by the crackling fire. Rick stabbed at it, memories of the orphanage beginning to swim in the back of his mind.

“That’s...that’s awful,” Evie said. “I’m so sorry, Rick.”

Rick stabbed at the fire again; these were not memories he wanted to dredge up.

“It isn’t fun,” he said, trying for a light tone. “Anyway, when we get back to Cairo, I...I’d like to stay.” He swallowed and looked at Evie. “With you. If that’s all right.”

She met his eyes and Rick could see that he understood what he meant. She began to smile.

“I think that sounds wonderful,” she said, reaching to take his hand.

“Plenty of room for you,” Jonathan added. “Happy to have you.”

Rick looked from one to the other and back to Evie. Warmth filled him like he had stepped into a sunlit room. A magpie family, wasn’t that how they had described themselves? And now they had collected him, too. Rick squeezed Evie’s hand and kissed her fingers, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. He could stay. She wanted him to stay with her. It was going to be alright.

#The Mummy #my fanfics #prompts #asks

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catholicartistsnyc · 4 years

Text

Meet Sister Desiré Anne-Marie Findlay

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youtube

Sister Desiré Anne-Marie Findlay is a Felician sister, dancer, writer and artist. She dances live on her Instagram (@sister_d) and blogs at Religious Life for Beginners. You can also catch her performances and videos about life as a religious sister on her YouTube channel.

In September 2020, Catholic Artist Connection’s Laura Pittenger spoke with Sister Desiré about dance, creativity in religious life, and how the Church can better serve its artists, particularly those of color. An edited and condensed version of that conversation is included below:

LAURA PITTENGER (LP): I have to tell you, I mentioned to a friend that I was going to interview a Felician sister about her art and my friend said, “Is this the sister who dances on instagram? I LOVE HER.” You have a lot of fans!

SISTER DESIRÉ FINDLAY (SDF): I joke with my friends that I’m like a “small big deal.” (Editor’s note: As of this writing, she has over 3,500 followers on Instagram. We think she’s a regular big deal.)

LP: Where are you currently living and where are you from originally?

SDF: I live in Pittsburgh, PA, but I was born in Biloxi, Mississippi and grew up in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I also lived in California and Connecticut for awhile. Right now I live with one other sister in my community, which varies wherever I go. I’ve lived with 20 to 6 sisters at a time. My favorite was when there were three of us. It was a cool balance, we all traveled a lot, two of us we’d hang out and welcome the third back home, and another would leave and return and we’d welcome her home. it was like a seamless kind of movement.

LP: How did you become a dancer?

SDF: It started when I was very young. My mom put me in ballet at three years old. We lived in Germany because my dad was in the Air Force, and I remember being in ballet class, running around in a circle on my tiptoes, and I started crying. Maybe because everything was in German! So when we moved back to the U.S., she put me in gymnastics. I went back into ballet for seven years, and in high school I joined the dance team. I learned other dance styles, jazz and hip-hop, those are my fun energy-based dances, but ballet has stayed my favorite. But what I do now is contemporary, not classical.

LP: Who are some dancers that you admire and who inspired you as a child?

SDF: Actually it was more like gymnasts. There were two I remember: Dominique Moceanu and Dominique Dawes. I don’t even think I considered this as a child, but now that I look back on it, it makes sense because they both have darker skin, or darker hair, or are from a different culture. They both reflected me and my sister, we looked up to them. They were just so good, and we could see ourselves in them. Watching them, it was like I could see myself in performing arts too.

LP: In the interview you did with America Magazine last year [above] you mentioned that dance for you is like a prayer. Could you share a little more about that?

SDF: I never experienced dance as prayer until I was invited to do a prayerful dance for an event. I didn’t know that was possible or that dance could be anything other than performance. The event was a dance to celebrate sisters who had spent 60 to 75 years in the convent. When I noticed that I was inviting all of us in the community to speak with God through my dance, I was like - dance can do this? I can speak to God with my entire body. I didn’t know why I hadn’t been doing that.

I don’t do a lot of formal dance as prayer. I do lead group sometimes or on social media, and people can join in if they want. It’s spontaneous. I don’t choreograph unless i’m leading, but I like to just find whatever song is standing out to me at the time, and let it move me. Sometimes you hear songs that you have to move to, very prayerful songs, some by Audrey Assad, for example, that let us reflect on God and our lives. Sometimes a song will come to me and be in my head for awhile and I just need to dance it out, or I’m in a mood, and look through my songs on my iPad and see what songs I have.

For example, in Advent, The Piano Guys have this cover of O Come O Come Emmanuel that’s instrumental. (I love that song, even though we hear it all season, I don’t get tired of it.) For some reason their instrumental version was stuck in my head, their version. I could not stop thinking about it, and I thought I’d dance it out. Even though there were no lyrics to it, I really felt that song. The line about captives being set free - I could express that through my limbs, that freedom, to be captive and set free by this amazing God who came to be human.

LP: What kind of support within the Felician community have you received for your dance, and how do you think religious communities can benefit from having artists in them?

SDF: My community has been very supportive of me in many things already anyway, but I would say when it comes to dance, on a personal basis my sisters will ask me about it, or send emails or call, or just when I see them at gatherings - “How are you doing? I’ve been reading about you! Keep up good work.” Or they ask if I’ve been using my dance, if they haven’t seen it lately. The community invites me to dance for events, like the Transitus of St. Clare of Assisi - when she passed away and went to her Spouse in Heaven, we have a ceremony to commemorate that. They asked me to pray that out in dance. So they’re not just encouraging me to dance, but asking me to do it for gatherings.

I’m not the only artist. We have so many creative sisters. The sisters have the space to really pursue their creative skills or put them to use somehow. One sister does all our communications and designs our prayer spaces and booklets. She probably would have been like an interior designer or graphic designer, but here she is enhancing our gatherings with her talents. Sometimes you need something to look appealing to make people want to care. Creativity adds to life, I think, color, personality.

LP: There are so many religious orders out there. What drew you to the Felician sisters?

SDF: I was in college when I met them, it was on a 100-mile pilgrimage. I didn’t know it was going to be 100 miles, or that it was to pray for vocations. I’m not a detail person - God just knows how to work with me! God’s just like, “Come do this.” I signed up for the pilgrimage for the cultural aspect, to walk through pueblos. I love my New Mexican heritage. I had no thought about it being a Catholic pilgrimage. I met these two Felician sisters on the pilgrimage, and I had never heard of the order in my life. They were so different, one gentle introvert and one loud, happy extrovert. I love that they are just themselves. They don’t have to be anybody else, to be like or look like or act like each other. They can just be. So I thought, maybe I could be myself. I had thought of religious life before, to be able to pray and serve, that’s cool, but it was never something I thought I saw in my future, until I met them.

LP: What is the formation process like for the Felician sisters?

SDF: Entering the Felicians is a nine-year process, minimum. Other orders can take six years minimum. It deepens in intensity as you go, but the first year I was still going to school and living on my own, so I’d visit with them and had a director. Then I moved in my second year and learned about the community and the saints. I became a novice and learned more about spiritual aspect of the community and my spiritual life. And then after that, four years later, I made my first vows. That’s when I moved out and was a sister, living the vows, but it still wasn’t forever, I could still change my mind. That stage is six years by itself. This August 15, 2020, was my one-year anniversary of making final vows. So it’s been 10 years.

LP: How do you think the Catholic church can do better, starting right now, in supporting artists - and in your case, artists of color? Or Catholics of color in general?

SDF: I think even just this conversation, reaching out to us. Because we can try and create our own spaces to voice what we want to voice and share art we want to share, but unless we’re invited to share, it’s not going to get into a larger space. A Felician sister is a member of the The Stained Glass Association of America, and she said lately they’ve been getting calls from churches with predominantly Black parishioners with churches with stained glass of only white people, and they’re saying, “This doesn’t reflect our church, and Jesus wasn’t white, and we want diversity, how do we do that? How do we go about changing these windows? How do we invite artists of color into this industry? How do we bring more diversity in, to reflect the church we have?” It’s just by invitation, that’s where it starts. The sisters invited me to do this dance. Invitation.

LP: What would you say to someone who feels drawn to both their art or performance but also might feel a call to religious life? Do you think art can also be a form of vocation?

SDF: Like I said, I’m not a detail person, so I wouldn’t have looked up or researched anything. I go as my life unfolds. I don’t plan things. I know there are people out there who think they need to research everything - I didn’t do any of that. Everyone has a different way of discerning. When it comes to vocation and living your full authentic self, including your creativity, whatever form that takes, your passion - it could be immigration policy - there are ways to incorporate that into your vocation, whether you’re married, a sister, or a layperson. Do a little research and say, “Is that community open to that?” In some communities, everybody has the same ministry. In mine, you get to choose your own. There are communities where you can be an immigration lawyer. If I wanted to be a heart surgeon, I can be!

You have to know what your non-negotiables are. The goodness of God - He already knew my non-negotiable was my creativity, and I didn’t realize that. God led me to a community at the right time and in a way that spoke to me. I just said i’m going with it. Nothing else seemed to fit.

We have a style of dress we like to wear as Felician sisters, but we have an option. You can be more traditional, or you can wear a dress and make sure you wear a crucifix. There are some guidelines, but you get to choose. You can be an individual.

Pay attention to what speaks to you. Pay attention to what brings resistance in a community. Knowing that I can be so creative is part of what makes my vocation so fruitful. I can design notebooks! I can share things on social media on my own time. I never knew that’s what i wanted. After I realized dance could be prayer, I want everything I do to have that kind of meaning. That was my non-negotiable. God said, “I gave you these gifts.” It reminds me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. When I was going to enter the Felician sisters, I thought that I’d probably have to give up dance, God said, “I gave it to you.” I was willing to give it up, but God gave it back to me a hundredfold. I’ve gotten to teach dance here and abroad. I never thought I’d do anything like that.

LP: Do you have any words of advice for other Catholic artists who may be struggling right now amid the COVID-19 pandemic and everything else in the world?

SDF: I was very much struggling when all this started. I was used to traveling and meeting lots of people all over the place. I felt very seen, very heard. Suddenly I was in my own little world, and I didn’t have to get up or go anywhere. Before, I was being invited to spaces, but now I have to create spaces for myself. I wasn’t posting dance videos until the pandemic happened. I wanted to connect, but couldn’t in the ordinary way. My suggestion would be to create the connection that you feel you’re missing, because a lot of us were connecting in ways we were used to: coffee, concerts...

Whether we are an observer or an artist, we’re used to connecting through creativity. Now we have to find ways to share that creativity and enjoy it in different spaces. So to be open to those, it means a lot of technology. It still matters and makes a difference for others. I’ve felt a change in myself, being able to connect with people through technology and through Zoom dance group. At first I didn’t want to do it, but people were asking to experience dance as prayer. The Zoom group is open for anyone, but now I’ve just been doing Instagram and Facebook live. I just tried it for the first time last month. I didn’t know people were craving this different type of prayer experience until people started sharing it. Even when I was unwilling, God created this space for myself and other people and I get to share this gift. Here we are praying together, with openness.

#sister desire #sistah d #dancer #dance #catholic #catholic artist #catholic artist connection #pittsburgh #felician #felician sisters #religious life #women religious

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hockeytrashgoblin · 4 years

Text

High ~Part 12

A/N: This is the last part of this tonight but just wait because I have some other things to post too lmao. I have so much I’m so sorry I’m such a goblin that hordes writing like this when I get sad.

It was about a month later and things had gone a little more normal. Ema was still allowed to come see Gray but Brian stayed at Auston's. I knew Ema had nothing to do with it. She'd never do anything to risk never seeing Grayson again, she loved him too much.

As Mitch expected Freddie had a long talk with Auston. Mitch also had a talk with Auston and so did Ema. The general consensus was that he stuck up for me with his dad and that he didn't think of how a signed jersey would come across. He was dumb. We knew this.

Mitch and I had given the shirt to a little boy in the hospital with brain cancer. He was really small for being 6 because of the chemo on top of him being small anyway so the toddler jersey fit him perfectly. He had loved the gift and I felt a lot of satisfaction in giving it to him and brightening up the little guy's day.

Everything was getting back to normal just in time to be wrecked again by two new babies. I was thinking a lot about how things were gonna change with more kids as Mitch and Grayson were sleeping on me. We had started taking family naps because my boys liked to feel the babies move around. So there I was, the first one awake, sandwiched by Mitch on my right and Gray on the left. It was my favourite spot to be these days.

I felt Mitch stir beside me and blink awake. He smiled wide and put his hand on my tummy where a baby was moving.

"Morning sunshine." I said running my hand through his hair.

"Mornin baby."

"You feel the babies?"

"Yeah there's one right beside me. Kicking me in the head. I love it. I love you. I can't wait to meet them."

"You're so sweet baby. I love you too."

"Oh year clear your schedule tonight babe. We're going on a date."

"Well I waaaas going to watch a beach bargain hunt marathon but I suppose I can do that another night."

"Sorry to disrupt your big plans love but this is worth it I promise. I want to go out with you again before the babies get here."

"Don't be sorry lovey. I'd love to go on a date with you. How fancy do I need to get?"

"You can wear whatever you want. I'm gonna be in a button down shirt with some nice jeans. You wear what you like. We'll be outside for a bit though so keep that in mind."

"Mitchy it's April!"

"Yeah but the snow is gone. It'll be only a little cold."

"I'm still on board babe you don't need to convince me."

"Okay good." He gave me a kiss and we just cuddled together for a while. Mitch was happy to just lay there for hours with his hands on my belly. It was really sweet. Eventually Grayson woke up though so cuddle time was over.

"Hi baby."

"Hey little man, how was the nap?"

"It was good daddy. The baby kicked me."

"Do you want to make a fun craft with me today?" I asked him trying to tame his wild hair.

"Yeah! What kind of craft?"

"A new one. We haven't done this one before."

"Let's go right now!" He said jumping on the bed.

"Okay honey let's go."

I got up with no help from Mitch who was dying laughing watching me struggle with my giant tummy. I brought Gray downstairs and started getting the supplies out. Once I was done I put Grayson in his booster seat so he could reach the table and I sat beside him.

"What are we doing mommy?"

"Well grandma made some little ocean onesies for the babies and I thought we could colour them in together. There's four so pick two that you want to do."

"I want the poptopus."

"That's octopus love. Octopus."

"Octopus. I forgot." He said giggling making me smile.

"Which other one do you want to do?"

"I want to do free Willy!"

"Okay so you get octopus and the whale, and I get jellyfish and the seahorse?"

"Yes!"

"Okay here are the markers. It's just like your colouring books. Do whatever you want. Sound good?"

"Yeah!"

We coloured together for a long time. Mitch had left for practice so it was just me and my boy drawing together with some music in the background. I had finished my jellyfish and gray was done with the orca. He wanted free willy to look like free willy so he was only one colour.

"Are you colouring one special for each one?"

"Octopus is for Marly."

"So Willy is for baby brother?"

"Yup. What's his name gonna be?"

"We haven't decided yet. It's a big job naming a person ya know."

"How come?"

"It's just that they'll have their names forever. You want it to be a good one."

"Oh okay." He was quiet for a while before he asked, "When will the babies get here?"

"In a little while. Pretty soon actually. The doctor thinks they're going to come early even."

"I hope so. I can't wait."

"Me neither Gray. I'm very excited to meet them."

We kept colouring until Mitch came back home with William.

"Hey guys what's going on?"

"Uncle Willy!! We're colouring for the babies, look!"

"Wow Gray you've done a really great job!"

"Thanks."

"Are you ready to come stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah!"

"We can eat pizza and ice cream and watch movies while mommy and daddy have boring adult time. Sound like a plan?"

"It's a plan!" He said giving William high ten.

"I think Mitchy packed a bag already." I said getting up. Mitch and Gray went upstairs to get him ready.

"Jeeez babes you're giant!"

"Thanks William I really needed that today." I said punching his shoulder.

"I'm just kidding (y/n)."

"The doctor thinks the babies are gonna be huge."

"Not good news for you."

"Meh I'm not too concerned. My body is built to do it."

"You excited for your last date for a while?"

"I am excited yeah. I don't know what we're doing or what I'm going to wear. I dont even know if I have anything nice that still fits. Aw man I'm gonna look like a slob for Mitchy." I whined.

"No you won't. You'll look beautiful and you'll have an amazing time. I promise you."

"I hope so. I've been really nervous lately about that. I feel like I've let myself go and Mitch is going to think I'm ugly and gross."

"Hun, you don't have to worry about that at all. He talks about you constantly. About how beautiful you are and about how he loves you more every day."

"That's crazy."

"He really loves you."

"I love him too. So much. Will I never thought I'd be so in love with someone."

"I'm happy for you." He gave me a hug as the boys came back in. "You ready to go little man?"

"Yeah let's go."

"Can I have a hug bye love?"

"Of course mommy." He ran over and hugged me tight. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and then patted my belly. "Bye bye babies."

"Bye Grayson."

"Love you mommy. Love you daddy." He said going to give Mitch a hug and kiss too.

"Bye buddy. We'll see you tomorrow morning okay?"

"Okay. Bye daddy. Bye mommy." He said dragging William towards the door. I started cleaning up our craft supplies and I heard Mitch talking to William.

"He needs to be in bed by 8:30. That's giving him an extra hour and a half after bedtime. If you feed him after 6 give him something a little healthy. (Y/n/n) prefers it. Also if anything happens call, we'll answer-"

"Marner, we're good. You guys enjoy your night. Good luck man."

"I hope it goes well."

"It will. You've got this." They were quiet for a minute before William spoke again. "Bye (y/n) have fun!"

"Bye boys! See you tomorrow."

I heard the door close and Mitch can in. He stood in the doorway for a minute watching before coming in and wrapping his arms around me from behind. Not an easy task with my giant tummy but he managed. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled leaning back against him.

"What did you guys do today?"

"We drew these for the babies." I said laying them out. "I just need to put them in the dryer to lock in the markers because I can't be bothered to iron them. Then they'll be baby ready."

"These are so cute."

"Gray made that one for Marly and this one for baby boy."

"Who are yours for?"

"Either one, I don't really care. I think I'm going to bring his to the hospital as babies first outfits. With the hats he picked out."

"I like that idea."

"Just another little thing that can really make Gray know he's part of this too."

"I love it. You're so thoughtful in everything you do. I just can't believe how lovely you are."

"Mitchy stoop."

"Never." He turned me around and gave me one kiss which led into multiple kisses. "Okay no time for this right now. We need to go get dressed for our date."

"Okay." I gave him one last kiss and we made our way up into the big closet. I started looking through my clothes that still fit while Mitch got dressed in the room. He came in looking hot as ever and it made me feel even more nervous.

"What's wrong babe? You look sad."

"I'm gonna look ugly and embarrass you." I said sadly as a tear slipped out.

"Hey love, no you won't. I think you look absolutely gorgeous."

"Even with a giant bump?"

"Especially with the giant bump." He kissed my forehead and started looking through my clothes. "How about the blue dress you wore for the maternity pictures last week? That'll still fit right?"

"I hope so. Thank you Mitchy."

"You're welcome baby. Now get dressed and we'll be out of here."

I was lucky that the dress still fit. I was also lucky Mitch didn't get a car that was low to the ground because there'd be no way I'd get out of that. We drove a little ways to a nice restaurant we liked. The dinner wasn't very eventful. We talked a lot about hockey, a lot about Gray and how we're going to still give him attention with the babies. We talked about ourselves too and how we felt which was a nice change. After dinner we were walking around a small park near the arena talking more about the babies.

"We really need to decide a name lovey. It's getting so close."

"It's not that close. May 26th is still pretty far yet."

"Baby please be serious."

"I'm still really liking Dexter."

"I've been thinking about Dexter a lot too. Pretty much as soon as you said it I loved it."

"So let's call him Dexter. Dexter Joseph Marner. It's perfect."

"It is perfect. I love it. Baby Dexter and baby Marly. So precious."

"I'm glad we decided." He said swinging our hands. "Let's go inside and warm up a bit."

"Are we allowed?" I hadn't even noticed that we were at the arena until he was opening the door.

"Course we are. Come on."

"Where are we going Mitchy?"

"To the family room, come on." He dragged me all through the arena until we got there. Once we did he stood with me in the middle of the room.

"What's going on Mitchy?" I asked smiling at him softly.

"This is where I first met you. Where I first laid eyes on you. I heard you laughing and joking with Willy and my heart beat faster. I didn't ever even let myself get my hopes up that you'd ever have feelings for me. Then you got with Auston and I hated how you got so quiet and hidden away. Then you guys were off and you were your normal self again. Then you were back on and it hurt so bad seeing you taken by someone who really didn't appreciate you at all."

"Mitchy I'm sorry-"

"Babe let me finish please?"

"Okay sorry go ahead." I said giggling making him laugh and kiss me quick.

"Anyway then you guys were off again and you had little Gray in your belly. I wanted to be around constantly for both of you as whatever you needed. Then I kissed you and you kissed me and it all just blossomed into this amazing beautiful relationship. And now we're making our family bigger. I've never been happier than I am now."

"I never thought I'd be this happy Mitch. I mean that."

"I'm so in love with this family we're making. And I'm so in love with the way our life together is going. And most of all I am so, so, so in love with you (y/n)."

"Mitchy you're going to make me cry. I love you." I kissed him again and wiped my eyes when we broke apart.

"I guess there's just one more sappy sentimental thing left that I need to say." He lowered himself down to one knee and I started crying.

"Mitchy."

"(Y/n), you're my best friend in the whole world, the love of my life, and the mother of my children." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a box.

"Mitchy. Oh my God." I wiped my eyes and laughed as he opened the velvet box.

"Will you now please, please, please be my wife?"

"Yes. Yes! Mitchy of course! Yes!" He slid the ring on my finger while I cried into my hand. "God I love you more than I could ever express."

"I love you." He smiled and kissed me. It didn't work out great since we were both smiling and crying but it was the best feeling in the world. "I'm so glad you said yes."

"You thought I'd say no?!" I asked shocked.

"Well I thought you'd say yes because you've said you want to spend your life with me but we never talked about getting married."

"Lovey I would never think twice about promising myself to you forever in front of everyone. You're it Mitchy."

"I'm so happy."

"Me too."

"Let's head home. As sweet as this moment is, I really want to go home and spend the night with you. But first. I want to take a picture of you."

"But Mitch I look like a mess, I've been crying."

"Just cover your face with your left hand then. I think you've never glowed brighter the whole time I've known you. You're beautiful.

"Fine take the picture."

He did and he posted it on our way back to the car. I got a notification from Instagram and opened it to find me with a caption that said. 'April 29th 2020 she said yes'. It was simple but it was perfect and I told him that much. As we drove home I was floating so high in the clouds I didn't think I'd ever come down.

#hockey #hockey story #hockey imagines #maple leafs #maple leaf imagine #leafs #mitch marner #mitch x reader

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theforsakenprince · 4 years

Text

Frostbitten Chapter 5: The Scorpion Den

Previous Masterlist Next

Word count: 1777

Warnings: Unsympathetic Remus, Unsympathetic Deceit, murder mention, blood mention (lemme know if I should add anything!)

A/N: hhhh I’m not really proud of this one, but we’re finally getting to actual plot! Hope you enjoy!

“So, you can read minds,”

It was more of a statement than a question. Virgil visibly flinched. “Yes, I can read minds, but for some reason, I can’t read yours.”

Deceit drummed his claws on the wooden table thoughtfully. “I may have a theory about that, actually.”

Virgil waited for him to elaborate. He never did. He decided not to push it. “I can also see the futures that are most likely to happen.”

Deceit leaned across the table towards Virgil. “Oh? Have you had any interesting visions lately?”

Virgil tore his gaze away from Deceit’s. “Not recently. I… haven’t gotten any visions for a while, actually.”

“If you end up getting a vision, do tell me. I’ve always found NightWing powers to be… fascinating.”

Virgil nodded uneasily. Ever since Deceit had taken him under his (metaphorical) wing, he had been treated with not kindness exactly. It was more a grudging tolerance than kindness. The only thing standing between him and getting driven out was Deceit. It wasn’t the most comforting thing, but he would make the most of it.

“Hey Dee, are you done yet?” someone poked their head around the corner.

“Remus, I thought I told you to get out,” Deceit hissed.

“I know!” Remus said cheerfully. “But you were taking a long time, so I decided to come in anyway!”

Also, I don’t care. Chirped Remus’s mind.

Remus was an assassin for hire and didn’t belong to any one gang, but hung around Deceit’s gang the most.

Virgil groaned inwardly. He didn’t particularly like Remus at first, and liked him even less when he realized his mind was even darker than his words.

Remus turned towards Virgil. “Hey Virgie!”

Virgil scowled. “Don’t call me that.”

Remus didn’t seem phased. “Whatever you say, Virge!” he turned to Deceit. “Has he told you anything interesting yet?”

Deceit sighed. “No interesting visions yet, I’m afraid.”

Virgil’s frown deepened. They were talking about him as if he wasn’t right in front of them! He opened his mouth to say something, but just then, a burst of pain shot through his head and he gasped, stumbling backward.

Deceit was in front of him in an instant, but he barely registered his presence as images crowded his brain:

Hundreds of dragons standing in the courtyard of the SandWing Stronghold and a SandWing standing in the middle, holding up an onyx.

An IceWing on the outskirts of the Ice Kingdom, growling at Virgil and a SkyWing he didn’t recognize.

The same IceWing, this time driving a spear through Deceit’s heart.

“-irgil. Virgil, look at me.” Deceit had his talons on his shoulders, propping him up on his feet. “Were you having a vision?” Virgil slapped Deceit’s talons away and nodded, still shaken by his visions.

“Describe them to me.”

“Deceit,” Virgil looked up, meeting his eyes. “I think- I think you’re going to die.”

Deceit gave no indication that he was shocked. “How? Who kills me?”

Virgil pressed a talon to the side of his head as a name popped into his head. “A-an IceWing named… Frost, I think.”

Deceit drew back and nodded to Remus, who had a dangerous glint in his eyes. He tried to guess what Deceit was thinking. Was he surprised? Scared? It was impossible to tell. The SandWing’s expression was blank as ever.

“Remus, I need to speak with you. Privately,” Deceit said, giving Virgil a meaningful stare.

The message was clear. Virgil headed out the door, pulling his hood over his head.

That dragon looks shifty.

Stupid dragonet.

This water is overpriced, but I don’t want to cause any trouble…

“Hey, watch where you’re going!”

Virgil looked up at the SandWing he bumped into and scowled. “Watch where you’re going.” he moved out of the SandWing’s way and continued down the road toward the market.

After Deceit had told him to leave, he’d headed toward the market, still not entirely certain what he was going to do. He was still shaken by the visions. Was Deceit going to die? And who was that IceWing?

Virgil had to repeatedly remind himself that the visions he was seeing were only the most likely outcomes; if he wanted to, he could change those futures.

“Woah, you okay, kid?”

Virgil stepped back and looked up at the second SandWing he’d run into. He mentally cursed when he realized who it was.

Thorn, leader of the Outclaws, squinted at him and said, “Wait, aren’t you the seer Deceit took in?”

Virgil shrunk back. “How do you know that? How do you know who I am?”

Thorn shrugged. “Word travels fast around here. You’re all I’ve been hearing about from my Outclaws. Most of them don’t like the fact that you’re with Deceit, of all dragons.”

“He saved me from getting robbed. I don’t think he’s that bad.”

“Maybe not. Just don’t get on his bad side.”

Virgil snorted. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

Thorn gave him a curious look. “You know, I could use a seer and a mind reader like you in the Outclaws.”

Virgil widened his eyes.”I-oh, I-I’m sorry I can’t, it’s just-”

She patted him on the shoulder. “It’s fine, completely fine, it’s just… I don’t trust that gang. Just be careful out there, alright?”

Virgil nodded, but Thorn was already walking away, and within moments, she was swallowed up by the crowd, leaving him to ponder her words.

A few days and much pondering later, Virgil found himself back in the building Deceit owned. Deceit hadn’t spoken to him since the day he got the visions, and he was starting to feel anxious.

“Remus, back so soon?” Deceit’s voice came from behind the curtain that separated the rooms. A few moments later, Virgil could see Deceit’s shadow along with a bigger, spikier shadow that was presumably Remus.

“Turns out, I didn’t even need to go all the way up to the Ice Kingdom.” That was definitely Remus’s voice. “I just got that pathetic SandWing to do it.”

“Who? General Scorpion?”

Remus snorted. “She’s hardly what I’d call a general. It took forever to convince her to commit a tiny murder. That IceWing is hardly special! It shouldn’t be hard!”

Virgil’s eyes widened and he suppressed a gasp. They were going to kill Frost for something she might not even do!

Deceit hummed thoughtfully. “It makes sense for the SandWing to do it. After all, what’s one IceWing death in the middle of a war?”

Remus spoke again, and he could hear the glee in his voice. “Nobody’s going to notice!”

Virgil took a deep breath and parted the curtain, stepping into the room. “So you’re going to kill a dragon? Just like that?”

Remus grinned at him. “Sounds like someone’s afraid of a little blood.”

Virgil’s mind flashed back to the moment he had found his mother’s body and remembered the feeling of blood covering his talons. He growled. “I’m just afraid of the fact that you’re willing to kill someone, just like that.”

“Perhaps you forget, Virgil,” Deceit said in a low voice. “but this IceWing is going to kill me if I don’t do anything about it.”

“But she hasn’t done anything wrong yet! She might not even attempt to kill you!”

“I’m not risking my life on a ‘might’.” Deceit replied, a hint of anger entering his voice. “You’ve stated that this future can be prevented. Well, I’m preventing it.”

Virgil shook his head. “You don’t know that! What if- what if Frost escapes and finds out you wanted her dead and that’s why she kills you?” he didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m leaving. To undo your mistake.”

As he walked towards the door, Deceit made no attempt to stop him. Not for the first time, Virgil wished he could hear what Deceit was thinking. His mind, as usual, was blocked by what felt like thorns.

He walked out of the house, ears pricked for any signs of pursuit. He was three yards down the busy street when he heard it.

“Don’t let him get away. I’ll make it worth your while.”

That was his cue. He bolted down the path, shoving other dragons out of his way. He almost headed into a back alley, but decided against it, instead heading for the main street. More dragons meant that it was easier for him to blend in with the crowd.

He pulled his hood up and kept his head down, hoping to blend in with the desert dwelling dragons. Unfortunately, his black and purple scales meant that he stood out like a sore thumb, and within moments, Remus stood in front of him, blocking his escape route.

“Did you think you could just walk out?” Remus flashed him a devious grin. “Not on my watch.”

Before Remus could move, Virgil shoved him against a wall and barreled through a crowd of SandWings. He glanced behind him to see if he was followed, but crashed into something.

Virgil reeled back, rubbing his head. He looked up to see what he crashed into and suppressed a gasp.

The dragon in front of him was bright blue like a SeaWing, but that was where the similarities ended. He had four wings, like a butterfly, and has strange markings under his eyes. A piece of cloth was tied around his neck, and he was readjusting his glasses so they sat comfortably on his snout.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there!” What a strange looking dragon…

That shook Virgil out of his thoughts. “I-I’m sorry, I need to-”

“Woah, slow down!” the strange dragon stopped him as he tried to run. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m being chased.” Virgil gasped for breath, only just realizing how exhausted he was. “I’m sorry, but I really need to go.”

“Hey wait, let’s think this through.” the strange dragon said. “I know a place you can be safe. What’s your name?”

“Virgil,” he supplied as he was gently led to an oasis surrounded by tents. He glanced over his shoulder, but Remus was nowhere to be seen.

“Alright, Virgil, I’m sure you know Thorn by now, right?”

“Yeah. Leader of the Outclaws and all that.”

“Exactly. The Outclaws will protect you, don’t worry.”

As they headed toward the oasis, something occurred to him. “What’s your name?” he glanced at his companion’s strange wings. “And what tribe are you from? You don’t look like you’re from any tribe I know, and you don’t look like a hybrid either…”

“Oh, I’m Patton!” Patton gave him a wide smile, a stark contrast to Remus’s unsettling grin and Deceit’s cruel smirk. “As for what tribe I’m from… well, I hope you like long stories.”

Taglist: @42ndbrokencompass

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carolinesbookworld · 4 years

Text

tagged by @kabeswaters and @swellwriting <3

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? 0

describe yourself in a hashtag? very similar to @fortisfiliae #stressedanddepressed

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? Harrison Osterfield

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? prepare for disaster

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? um...idk my boyfriend knows basically everything about me sooooooo

what’s your wake up ritual? wake up, turn off alarm (bc with this at-home learning stuff i’ve been waking up like literally 1 min before my alarm goes off???), text good morning to my bf, snapchat, discord bc moonlit fam talks allll night, tumblr, get out of bed, wash face, get dressed, coffee and breakfast it’s very specific

what’s your go to bed ritual? wash glasses and face bc my skin is soo oily by the end of the day so you best believe my glasses be needing washing everyday, shower, say goodnight to fam, text bf for like 15 mins or until he says goodnight, turn alarm on, plug in phone, go to sleep

what’s your favorite time of day? morning but specifically from 7:30 until 9

your go to for having a good laugh? FRIENDS as in the show

dream country to visit? Australia bc my dad once got to hold a baby koala there and i wanna do that so bad

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? so my family moved before my sophomore year so me and my bff started trying to surprise each other whenever one of us came to visit and the weekend of my birthday, she skypes me as she’s walking around what i thought was her house and then i start hearing an echo and next thing i know she’s standing in the doorway of my room and that was pretty much the best surprise ever

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers converse

vintage or new? new but i love vintage aesthetic i just couldn’t live with it

who do you want to write your obituary? karli @swellwriting bc she is my brain twin and i would be mocking her horrible grammar and spelling from my grave and we would both get a good laugh about it in the afterlife

style icon? the mom i babysit for haha she’s like one of my best friends tho which sounds really weird but it’s true

what are three things you cannot live without? books, dogs, days that are exactly 65 degrees

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? um idk chocolate??

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Sarah J. Maas, Eddie Redmayne, my boyfriend bc i haven’t had dinner with him for 47 days

what’s your biggest fear in life? losing the people i love...and spiders

window or aisle seat? window bc aisle makes me anxious that i’m in people’s way

what’s your current tv obsession? the cw’s nancy drew it’s so good please go watch it

favorite app? instagram, discord, or tumblr, depends on my mood

secret talent? um idk i can draw very realistic portraits of people when i take the time to

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? okay so technically this wasn’t me who did it but i was part of the adventure. when me and my boyfriend were just “friends” ie. liked each other and knew we liked each other but were too scared to admit it. anyway, we had this elaborate plan to shave our youth group leader’s head if we were able to bring in a certain amount of food for the food drive during vbs week. so yeah we spent like three days planning the whole thing out and then decided to go price shopping at walmart with all of our younger siblings bc we needed supervision or something lol to see how many individual things of food we could buy with $20 each we ended up just getting like 20 huge boxes of ramen and then his sister ended up throwing up so we took her home and then went back to church where my car was parked but instead of turning to get to church my boyfriend decides to go straight through the stop light (it was green okay) and spontaneously drive up into the foothills. well we get to the top of the foothills and we’re at the lake and we all get out to look at the city and my boyfriend claims that we need to document this moment so he takes a selfie with all of us and we somehow ended up right next to each other in it and i only found this out like three months ago (this happened back in june) that he only took the picture because he wanted one of us together in case we didn’t start dating lol so sweet and yeah, that was a very long story but i needed context instead of just saying “yeah we drove up a mountain”

how would you define yourself in three words? loyal, anxious, passionate

favorite piece of clothing you own? this dark coral dress that makes my eyes and hair look really pretty

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a hoodie

a superpower you would want? i want to be able to project my thoughts into someone else’s mind bc i’m so bad at explaining stuff sometimes especially when it comes to how i feel

what’s inspiring you in life right now? ACOTAR series by Sarah J. Maas, highly recommend

best piece of advice you’ve received? opening up to more than one person is important because if you lose that person then you’ve lost all your support

best advice you’d give your teenage self? the friends who have stuck around this long are the ones you want to hang onto and the ones that you need are the ones you don’t always see

a book everyone should read? The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

what would you like to be remembered for? being a crazy dog mama

how do you define beauty? confidence in yourself and not caring what others think about you

what do you love most about your body? my metabolism

best way to take a rest/decompress? open a window to feel the breeze and listen to Islands by Hey Ocean! which is so calming to me

favorite place to view art? nature or tumblr

if your life was a song, what would the title be? we’re going with a fob/p!atd theme here and calling it “depression screwed me over so i screwed it back and ended up worse off”

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? probably on my forearm or by my left hip

dolphins or koalas? koalas did i mention that i want to hold a baby koala

what’s an animal that represents you? great dane puppy ie. very excitable but will also take a four hour nap when tired

best gift you’ve ever received? my best friend made this photo collage for me when i moved that is hanging in my room and it has a bunch of pictures of me and her over the years and i just love it

best gift you’ve given? for christmas i gave my boyfriend a hammock and the bookshelf addition of clue, two things he had no idea i would remember him mentioning and his face was priceless. also i made my mom a cake for her birthday this year and she was so happy and said it made her feel very special <3

what’s your favorite board game? clue or ticket to ride (specifically nordic countries)

what’s your favorite color? currently a pale turquoise

least favorite color? any shade of light brown

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore bc i don’t wear makeup enough to validate buying designer, also i don’t really care

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee cof-

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? palindrome is wild because it means a word spelled the same way forwards and backwards but it itself is not one such word

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? summer but like, only june

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? panera mac n cheese

a dessert you don’t like? red velvet cake which btw is not red-colored chocolate cake as many would have you believe

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing

best thing to happen to you today? i got to put all of my new plants in my windowsill and i named one of them (its name is albert in case you were wondering)

worst thing to happen to you today? idk today’s been pretty good as far as quarantine goes

best compliment you’ve ever received? my boyfriend calls me beautiful all the time and he always reminds me that that is describing looks and personality

favorite smell? coffee or my boyfriend’s sweatshirt for the week after i steal it

hugs or kisses? can i choose both?? depends on my mood mostly but i guess hugs if i just had to pick one

if you made a documentary, would it be about? literally anything relating to the mcu

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? a court of wings and ruin by sjm

lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? literally any female in the teen wolf cast

how do you know you’re in love? hahahaha haha what's love

a song you can listen to on repeat? we fall apart by we as human or uma thurman by fob

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? idk my boyfriend probably, this is something we have discussed in depth

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? for life to go back to normal

tagging @finnofamerica @woakiees @beskarjedi @outerlacy @swanimagines hahahahaha have funnnnn this took me an hour to answer

#about me #tag game

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