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worldofkuro · 17 days

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Painted Smile

Painted Smile V

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Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: I think I wrote more for this chapter. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter dear readers. Let me know what you think about it.

“ You look.. dishearten, my friend”

You sighed as you looked at your friend: Alice. She was one of the first female friends you made 6 years ago at school. She was one of the sweetest girls you have ever met. She had long blonde locks with beautiful sapphire eyes, her voice sounded like a siren’s song. You were proud to be her friend, almost all of the boys who laid their eyes upon her were almost falling to their knees ready to propose to her.

“ I have no idea what to do for Alastor’s birthday.” you sighed “ no idea of a present.”

Alice clapped in her hand with a big grin and you couldn’t help but scoff at her radiance. She always loved when you were talking about yours and Alastor’s relationship. You didn’t really know why but she wanted to meet him. Well… yes, you knew why. Alastor was … He was…

“ How old is he ?” she asked you as she drank her cup of tea.

“ Well, he is going to turn seventeen. So I want to make him something special.” you sighed once again as you laid your cup of hot chocolate on the table.

“ How long have you known each other ? “

“ Almost eight years.” you smiled fondly. Eight years. You’ve been friends with Alastor for eight years and you have loved every single year. You looked into your cup of hot chocolate, the colour reminded you of Alastor’s eyes. Alastor wasn’t a little boy anymore, he had become taller. Taller than you, his frame was more muscular thanks to his hunting trip, he had become more teasing, sneakier, and cunnier but the biggest problem was… He had become so handsome. He lost his chubby cheeks, now his jaw was sharp, his eyes were even more intense than before when he was interested in something, he was–

“ Should I let you alone with your chocolate~?” you jerked your head toward Alice who had a teasing smile on her lips. You chuckled while shaking your head, blushing a little. You daydreamed again ! “ Why do you not want me to meet him, I really want to meet your beau, you know? I have never seen you like this, never did someone make you react like this.”

“ Listen… He is.. an important childhood friend and he can be … intense sometimes. I don’t think you could handle him.” you said as you sipped your drink. You didn’t feel comfortable making Alastor and Alice meet. You knew that Alastor could be an ass sometimes and Alice was too sweet to … understand it ? “ But back to the topic, what should I give him for his birthday …”

“ From what you told me, he seems to really care about you, and with this war going on, I’m sure he’d rather you kept your money.” she smiled at you as you bit your lips. That was the problem. Alastor was going to be 17 years, next year he would turn 18. That means he … would be taken to war right? You felt yourself getting paler as many scenarios went inside your head.

The only good news was that his father had been dragged to war, unfortunately just like yours, meaning that Alastor and Marie were finally alone in their house. After the hunting’s trip’s accident eight years ago, you’ve never trusted his father again. Many times you went to Marie’s house and each time her husband was home you could feel the tension lingering in the air. When he was here, you and Alastor would go outside, play with Husker, play tag or hide and seek.

Alastor never really talked about his father, but you could sense that he hated him. But you didn’t know why and one day, you tried to push on the subject, you wanted to help him in any way possible.

This was the first time Alastor had raised his voice at you.

“ Are you okay?” you lifted your head toward your friend. “ He won’t go to war, from what the paper says, it seems like it’s going to end soon!” she smiled at you as she took your hand in hers. You sighed, praying that you would never have to send Alastor to war. Alastor has tried to reassure you by saying that if he were to go to war, he would be an amazing soldier.

War is like a big hunt.

“ Yes, yes… I think I’m going to go home. I need to finish some homework and I don’t want to leave my mother alone.”

“ Did Delilah steal your work again?”

“ I think, but who cares, I’ll just do it again… Well, your beautifulness, might I walk you home?” you bowed as she laughed and you began to walk toward the richest quartier of New Orleans. You gossiped with Alice about what happened during this school’s week. She was so sure John was interested in pursuing a relationship with you. You rolled your eyes at her, she always liked love’s story.

You did too, you weren’t going to lie, but when you thought about your future with a husband… You thought about–

“ Well, here we are! Are you sure you don’t want to stay here, I made cupcakes this morning!” she exclaimed with a big grin. You smiled at her, saying you really needed to go home.

You waved her goodbye and walked home. You tried to make your way home quickly, if you were lucky, a letter from your father would be waiting for you at home. You had prayed each day that once the stupid war was over, he would come back alive. You opened your house’s door and went inside, hurrying toward the living room. Did your father sended you a letter ?

“ Look who’s here~”

You turned around with a big smile, feeling your heart thumb loudly in your chest. How could he make you react like this everytime?

“ Alastor !” You hugged him before kissing him on both cheeks. Alastor had stopped flinching when you were touching him, even more surprising , he was very clingy with you. Always being in your personal space like he owned it.

“ Seems like someone drank hot chocolate but didn't bother wiping her mouth.” he wiped your bottom lips with his gloved hand. You flushed as he stared at your mouth, keeping his finger on your lips. You could see your own reflection in his glasses. Unlike before, you couldn’t read Alastor as easily as when he was a child, unless you were alone together and mister decided to be “vulnerable” with you. But you… You always felt safe and most of all, you felt seen.

Alastor always had a glint in his eyes when he was looking at you. You’ve never seen him look at something or someone else like this… And you liked it. Was it selfish to crave his attention… maybe not. You both were friends, special friends, childhood friends… But, Oh Lord, sometimes you craved more, but you didn’t know what. If Alastor was looking at you like this as a friend, how would he look at his future wife?

“ Oh my dear, you look starving.”

You gasped as you took a step back while Alastor was smirking at you, his arms folded behind his back. You stuck your tongue to him, like you used to, you were maybe a young lady now, but with Alastor you were… yourself.

“ Young lady ! Didn’t I tell you to stop sticking your tongue ! I’m sorry, Alastor.” said your Mother while Marie, who was just behind her, was laughing behind her hand. “ Good Lord, when you both are together you are back to being children, God preserve me.” she sighed as she went into the kitchen.

“ Yes, listen to your Mother. Keep your tongue inside your pretty mouth.” teased Alastor as he sat on the sofa with his usual mocking smile. “ Now my dear, do you have news to share with me?”

You sat on the other side of the sofa and began to gossip as you usually did. There weren’t any microphones or notes like when you were children, but it was the same as your broadcast like you used to do in his bedroom. Just you and Alastor, gossiping about your daily life.

“ And then Alice said that John was interested in me but I think he just–”

“ Should I be alarmed ? It’s not the first time I heard this name ?” teased Alastor as he took off his glasses to clean them with a tissue from his chest pocket.

“ Which one? Alice? She wants to meet you…” you mumbled and tensed when you saw Alastor’s smile.

“ Well, why didn't you say so! I would be delighted to meet the darling that blesses my sweet little friend with her presence when I’m not here!” he exclaimed as he stood up. You jumped off the sofa as you forced him to sit back down.

“ No Alastor !”

“ Oh come on my dear, do you want to keep me all to yourself ? How bold.” he smiled as he watched you struggle to keep him sitting. You groaned and decided to just sit on his lap to keep him from standing up. So there you were on your knees on each side of his thighs. You heard him inhale deeply, his hand gripping the sofa. Don’t blushed, don’t blushed, don’t blushed…

“ How bold, indeed, dear…” he stared at you, without his glasses. There it was. That glint. The one who made you… Feeling strange. You didn’t know if you were scared or…or what? There was something lingering in the air... He opened his mouth but you cut him off.

“ What do you want for your birthday ?”

His body tensed for a second, staring straight at you before he relaxed himself and laughed, tilting his head backward. He shook his head as he rolled his eyes.

“ Well, just like always. Celebrating with you and Mother. What could I ask for more?” he smiled at you but as you tried to stand up from his thighs, he grabbed your waist and pulled you near his face. “ Should we invite John?”

“ Who–? Wait, John? Why?” you frowned as you looked at his smile which seemed tense. He was grabbing your waist tighter now. His grip should hurt you but.. it was oddly comfortable. Why did he suddenly change–?

“ Wait… Are you jealous?” you smiled as you saw his smile twitched. “ Yes, yes, you are. Haha !” you laughed hoping you sounded mocking, but even to your ears, you almost sounded pleased, relieved. You squeaked as he pinned you to the sofa and began to tickle you. You squirmed as your laughter was getting louder and louder, gasping for air.

“ Do you remember the rules, dear?” he asked with a cunning smile, knowing perfectly that you couldn’t answer right now. “ Rule number one: Never drop your guard.” he stopped tickling you “ Go on dear. Rule number two?” he tilted his head toward you, staring at your red and teary face.

“ You are the strongest here.” you gasped as you tried to wipe your tears that threatened to stream down your face but Alastor holded both of your wrist in one hand.

“ Rule number three.”

“ I give up…” you breathed as you closed your eyes. You felt his head next to yours, his lips almost touching your ears.

“ Give up yourself to me.”

Your eyes opened suddenly, feeling your body being hot. You looked at Alastor who was above you but he seemed confused. He tilted his head as he watched your expression.

“ Are you okay, you look almost as red as Eamon ?” he laughed at you as he stood up, putting his glasses back on.

“ What did you just say?” you asked, your voice a mere whisper.

“... You look almost as red as Eamon?” you shook your head as you sat up and stared at him. He seemed really confused, did you imagine this? Is it what you wanted to hear? You groaned as you hid your face in your head, it was because of Alice’s stories, your mind was playing tricks on you now! “ By the way dear, it seems like you have a letter.” he said as he held a letter to you. It was from your father !

You took the letter from his hand with a happy grin, the letter was already open, surely your mother, and read what your father wanted you to know. He was okay, he missed you but mostly there were rumors about how the war will be soon over. you sighed in relief. Your father would come home. You just knew it. You looked at Alastor who was observing your face.

“ You still have no news from your father?”

“ No, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been killed for insubordination.” he said with detachment as he looked at his nails. You nodded before turning your head toward the entrance where you heard a knock. You stood up and went to open the door and froze.

“ Alice ?”

“ I’ll be quick, you forgot your bag at the coffee shop.” she smiled as she held your bag toward you.

“ How… But… You went back to the coffee shop?”

“No, no, a gentleman came to my door and asked if the bag was mine.”

“ Alice… A man came to your door with my bag and you are not worried ? How did he know where you lived ? Does that mean he followed us?” you forced her to enter your house, looking outside “ What does he look like?” You squealed as you were jerked inside the house by your dress. You turned to see Alastor who was staring at you, with a pissed expression, his smile still present.

“ Are you dumb? If there is a man who is following you, why would you show your face, confirming that you are living here.” he asked you coldly. You closed the door quickly.

“ The man isn’t here for me, if he is here. He didn’t follow me, he followed her.” you pointed to Alice. “ You can understand that, I mean, look at her.”

You watched as Alastor looked at Alice. You couldn’t see his face but you saw Alice’s who seemed to try to make herself even smaller than she was. He shook her hand with his usual charming smile you guessed.

“ Quite a pleasure to be meeting you, I’ve heard a lot of you. You seemed like a clever woman, I would have never guessed that you would walk down the street with a soon to be stalker at your feet, bringing this man to my dear friend’s door!”

“ N-nice to be meeting you, sir. I’m.. I’m sorry..?” Alice stared at you, begging you with her eyes to do something. You sighed, you have told her Alastor was intense.

“ No, no, No need to be sorry. It is not your fault, but the gentleman’s one. You both shouldn’t stay outside alone.”

“ Alastor, maybe we are overthinking. Maybe he was a nice gentleman–”

“ Oh my friend, hush.” he turned to Alice “ What did he look like?”

You watched as Alice described the man’s appearance. You were dumbfounded. Did Alastor just shush you? You crossed your arms on your chest as you pouted, watching both of your friends talking. They looked good together… You bit your lips. No. Alice wouldn’t be able to stay an entire day with Alastor. You stomped your foot on the floor and you clapped your hand together.

“ Well, dear friends of mine, go into the living room, I'll go with some drinks.”

“ No, no, I won’t bother you any longer. I’m going home.”

“ I’ll accompany you.Stay here.”

You stared in shock as Alastor went into the kitchen where your mothers were. Did he just say what you thought he said? Alice came closer to you and winked at you.

“ He seems like a good man, keep it up.”

Alastor came back with his jacket on, he opened the door for Alice and left without kissing you goodbye. You stared at the closed door. Did Alastor fall for Alice, like every boy she met? You ran to your room, and jumped on your bed, burying your face in your pillow. Did he really leave, leaving his mother? you threw your pillow on the wall.

“ To hell with him ! I don’t need him.” you said as you wiped the tears that you haven’t even felt falling down your cheeks. You went to the bathroom, ignoring your mother and Marie’s question about your teary eyes. You washed up, put on a nightgown and went into your bed. You stared at the wall before closing your eyes. You couldn’t fall asleep, you were imaginiting Alice and Alastor walking down the road, hands in hands. You felt tears whelming up in your eyes. You didn’t care! You didn’t!

You didn’t know how long you kept thinking about it but you were still awake when you felt a hand stroking your cheeks. You sighed , nuzzling your cheek against the hand. You guessed your mother was coming to comfort you even though she didn’t know why you were upset.

“ Dear friend, why are you crying?”

You sat up immediately and stared at the person in front of you.

“ Alastor…Why are you here?” you asked as you held the cover against you. You didn’t want him to see you like this. Crying over him. You were too proud. And you weren’t crying for him!

“ Well, I came to give you your kiss, dummy.” he approached his face toward you, staring at your eyes. “ But why are you crying? Is it because of the man?” his eyes went cold, his smile widened but there was no warmth like usual. He seemed.. menacing. “ Did he come here? Did he touch you? Where?”

You just stared at him as tears were falling down your cheeks. It seemed like seeing you cry made him more and more upset.

“ This bastard was here? I fucking walked your little friend home so I could see if someone was lingering around here and that bastard had the nerve to come and–”

You didn’t know what came over you, you covered his face with your blanket and you kissed the place where the blanket covered his lips. He froze. You pressed your lips against the tissue and then slowly, stepped back. You stared at him, his face still covered…

“ No.. I was just… afraid that you would leave me for Alice.” you whispered looking at his frame. Seeing that he didn’t remove the blanket, you understood that… he knew that both of you would not be talking about what is happening right now. “ She is a beautiful lady, and she is interesting, sweet… a perfect lady you would say.”

“ Don’t put words in my mouth dear.” You chuckled as he moved his hand toward your cheek, wiping your tears away. “ So, you thought she was going to take me away from you? How absurd. Nothing could tear me away from you, not even yourself.”

You stopped breathing at this confession, your heart beating even stronger. You didn’t know what to do with all of your feelings. You were just so relieved that Alastor saw your friendship like you did.

“ Can I take off your blanket now?”

You laughed and uncovered his face, his warm smile was back, his glint in his eyes even more present. You looked away, fidgeting with your nightgown. You needed to erase the tension quickly.

“ You look like an absolute mess my dear friend! I’ll let you rest and please, do get your beauty sleep unless you want to crack every mirror you shall see.” he laughed as you tried to hit him with a pillow. He kissed you on the forehead, giggling before leaving your bedroom. “ See you soon, doll~!”

You fell on your bed with a big smile and hid your face into your pillow.

You didn’t know what happened but it made your feel better.

Tag List: lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie

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yeonzzzn · 4 months

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♟️just bite me, idiot: jay

a you complete me series: six / seven

pairing: jay x afab!reader

word count: 2.6k

synopsis: jay takes you out on a date and spoils you with gifts when the main gift you want is forever…

genre: established relationship, vampire!jay

warnings: mentions of blood, stubborn but cute jay, some spice at the end

p1: vampires bleeding mlist

Jay rests his hand on your thigh as his eyes stay glued to the road, his thumb doing circles on your soft skin.

You glanced out the window, watching all the buildings and people walking on the street pass by.

Jay was spoiling you today with a lunch date and some shopping.

The shopping was more or less for the vampire royals wedding that was coming up. You’ve obviously never been to a vampire wedding, so you were confused as to how dressing for one would go. Mostly since now, you were the only human in the pack.

Sure, Sunghoon and Jake’s mates were human to an extent, but they still had immortality on their side.

You sigh, resting your head in your hand, elbow digging into the side of the car door.

Jay furrowed his eyes, making a few quick glances at you, his hand tapping your thigh.

“Babe, everything okay?”

You looked at him, quickly shaking your head, “Nothing.”

Jay knew you were lying, and you knew that he knew you were lying.

But you knew you couldn’t tell him the truth. That you so badly want to join the immortal side.

Jay doesn’t take talking about turning you very well. Always claims it’ll happen, but when? Didn’t know.

You keep praying that it will be before the wedding, but at this rate, you don’t know.

Jay took your hand, lifting it to press his lips to the back of your hand, “Babe, talk to me.”

“It’s just…Jungwon-“

Jay stopped you there, knowing where the conversation was going to go, “Babe,” he said, shaking his head, “Let’s not talk about this right now.”

Jay didn’t understand the rush to turn you into a monster. Wasn’t your human life good enough?

You released your hand from him, crossing your arms and looking back outside the window.

He knew you’d be pissed with him, it always would end up like this after talking about it.

He pulled into the restaurant's parking lot, found a good spot, and backed into the spot, putting the car in park.

He unbuckled his seatbelt, ready to get out and open the door for you before your voice stopped him.

“Don’t you want me forever?” you softly whispered.

Jay sighed, quickly reaching across the car taking your chin between his fingers, and pulling you to look at him.

“That was such a stupid question,” he scoffed, showing how annoyed he was with you at the current moment, “Of course, I want you forever. I am literally bonded to you for life.”

You wanted to make a smart comment, wanting to test him completely. Jay could read it on your face how badly you wanted to speak up.

“Yeah, until I die…” and you said it.

Jay let go of you and leaned back into his seat, jaw clenching tightly.

“Y/N,” he started to say until you cut him off.

“No!” you snapped, “It’s the truth! We may be bonded, but I WILL grow older. My body will start to age and get fragile. Hell, I am already fragile when it comes to you.”

Jay closed his eyes, clenching his jaw even more.

“Jay, you hold me so gently, kiss me so gently, and even hold my hand gently as if I were made of paper. Fuck, even when we have sex-“

“I get it, Y/N,” Jay finally spoke up, taking a deep breath to keep his voice calm, “I get it…”

He leaned back towards you, taking your hands in his own, “Babe, trust me when I say I want to be with you forever,” he took another deep breath, “Let’s talk about this back at the apartment, please? Let’s go have a good lunch and shop for the wedding, I want to spoil you, baby, please.”

You softened your hard exterior, nodding at him. You and Jay were both extremely stubborn, but sometimes you couldn’t help but fold when it came to him.

Jay quickly pressed a kiss to your lips before leaving the car and opening your door for you, helping you out.

Lunch was quiet as you ate your food and Jay sipped on his whine, stealing small bites from your steak and making cute faces every time his nose would scrunch up.

That was one thing you loved about him, he still would share food and eat (even if it was a tiny bit) with you. He didn’t need food to survive but still will eat to help make you feel more comfortable as a human.

That’s all Jay wanted, was to give you a normal human life. Something that was taken from him.

Jay still hated the monster he’d become, hated the vampire king for taking his life from him. The only thing he didn’t hate about the monster he had become was he met you. You made being immortal all worth it in the end.

And of course, Jay wanted to turn you, he wanted to keep you until the world ended, but he also didn’t want to take your normal human life from you. He would hate himself for it.

Once lunch was over, Jay drove you two to the nearest mall. Take your hand in his as you walk together.

You stopped in multiple different stores, looking and trying on different outfits.

Jay then pulled you into a Prada store, “Now we can really find some outfits.”

You couldn’t help but smile at him, your man loved his Prada.

Jay found a couple of matching outfits, deciding to settle for the black suit and black dress.

As you two stood in the checkout line, Jay pulled you close to him, his arm wrapping around your back and hand gently settling on your hip.

His gentle touch sent you back to your previous thoughts on how gentle he is with you.

You tried to not show it on your face, to keep such a good poker face that he wouldn’t be able to see through. To try and save the conversation once you’re back at home.

And soon enough, the two of you were walking back into your shared apartment. Jay carried all the bags to the room and returned to your side quickly, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“How about I make you some coffee, ya? Sit down and I’ll be back.”

You loved how he would take care of you like this, but right now you didn’t want to be taken care of. You wanted the conversation.

Jay sat you down on the couch, but the hold you had on his arm wouldn’t release.

You knew Jay could quickly run off and your grip wouldn’t hold. That he could just shove you off and go on about his business. But he doesn’t. He looks at your hand and how it holds onto his forearm, tracing his eyes up to yours.

Jay knew the moment you locked eyes on what you wanted. He sighs, bending down to meet you at eye level, his hands finding yours.

“Babe…”

“Jongseong please…” you begged, “Jungwon turned __, and they’ve been happier since. I am the only one who is still a human. And I don’t want you always acting as if I am some fragile thing anymore. You’ll lose me someday if you don’t…”

Jay raised his hand and cupped your face, wiping away the tears forming in your eyes. His chocolate eyes wandered your face, stopping at the two scars Dorian left on your skin all that time ago.

“My human life was taken from me, I can’t just take your human life from you.”

You shook your head, “You aren’t just taking it from me! I am letting you do this. Begging you to do this.”

Jay looked down at the floor, shifting his knees on the carpet trying to find the right words to speak.

“I am a monster, Y/N, how can you want to be like-“

“You’re not a monster!” you grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to you. His eyes met back at yours, “I forgive you, Jay. If that’s what you’ve been searching for is forgiveness from the way you once were, you have it. You have that forgiveness. You’ve done so much good since you, Heeseung, and Jake left that place. You’re a doctor for crying out loud. You take care of me when I’ve been sick. Even cook for me and keep food in the apartment when you don’t even need it. That’s not something a monster does. I want you forever. I want to be like you because you’re more than just a vampire. You’re the most human vampire I have ever met.”

Jay sighed, trying hard to keep his composure, thinning his lips into a line, “I love you, Y/N. So goddamn much and I want you forever too,” his fingers traced the scars that Dorian left on your neck, “I almost lost you once that night, I can’t do it again.”

You pulled Jay to you, wrapping your arms around his neck as his own wrapped around your waist, “You don’t always have to protect me, I am just as stubborn as you, I will make one fine vampire I promise.”

Jay wanted nothing more than to turn you. To keep you forever. He’s scared of a life without you. But the dangers that you’ll have to face in the future, to eventually have to move towns again once people start noticing you aren’t aging.

It’s what Jay and the pack have been dealing with for so long. Once Niki graduates high school (again), everyone is packing up and moving towns and cities.

Then with everything that Dorian caused…it’s only a matter of time before his followers who are still alive will come. Jay wanted to protect you, and no matter what he always would.

But it’s not just turning you that scared him, it was the possibility of losing that control once his fangs are in your skin.

“Baby, what if I lose control?” he whispered, his head resting against yours.

“Jungwon didn’t,” you commented, “And everything turned out fine. Jungwon also drank from __ that night he was attacked, right? He had more at risk when he turned her.”

Jay shook his head, “Y/N, I haven’t drunk from a human directly since leaving the castle,” he took a deep sigh, “I have a higher chance of losing that control and he did. Jungwon also is so strong-willed, he’s the leader of our pack after all.”

“I believe in you, Jay. I trust you.”

You knew he’d be okay. Knew you could trust him. Had all the faith he would keep control.

Jay started to open his mouth to protest, to maybe wait until another member was here to help keep him grounded, but you stopped him.

“Just bite me, idiot.”

And well, no time like the present.

Jay bent your head to the side with one hand, his eyes staring at the scars. His fangs came to a point, his eyes their beautiful crimson.

Your body tensed, and your hands gripped into his hair as his fangs pierced your skin.

Jay sucked the blood in, his hand that was still at your waist gripped tighter, and a soft groan left his mouth.

You tasted so good to him. How the hell will he ever drink normal blood again after getting a taste of yours? Jay had half a mind to not turn you, his mind was clouded by your taste and smell.

Your brow furrowed as the side of your neck went numb and your body turned cold, the familiar feeling that Dorian first gave you. Except this time you weren’t scared. You are in the arms of your soulmate. Someone who loves you more than life itself.

“Jay,” you whispered, your head started to spin, “Jay,”

Jay could hear your voice but did not register what you were saying. He was chasing a high that was long forgotten.

His fingers spread out more, moving your head even more to the side, giving him more room to sink his teeth down more.

You hissed at the pain, tapping his shoulder as your vision started to blur, “Jay…Jongseong.”

He couldn’t stop, you tasted too good. He was so drunk off you. His hand at your waist went to your shoulder, gripping the fabric of your shirt and tearing it down your arm, ripping it completely.

It wasn’t until his hand touched your bare shoulder that he realized how cold your body was getting from the loss of blood.

Jay wanted to remove his fangs, wrap you in a blanket and cover your wounds, and apologize for losing himself.

“Baby…” you whispered, wrapping your fingers slightly tighter around his hair, “I trust you.”

Hearing those words was enough for Jay to release his venom into your skin and take one last sip of your blood before removing his fangs.

A small amount of blood dripped down your neck and Jay softly rubbed his tongue up, wiping away the blood and placing a soft kiss on your neck where his fangs once were.

You started to go through the motions as his venom spread throughout your body. Jay wrapped his arms tightly around you, “It’s okay babe, I am right here. You are so strong.”

You were in pain, but then you weren’t. You blinked a couple of times, then removed your hands out of Jay’s silver hair and down to his shoulders.

Jay pulled back to look at you, a small smile on his lips, “Hello my love.”

You stuck your tongue out to feel your new fangs. The world seemed like it was moving faster than it did before.

“Is this how it felt for you too?” You asked, as his hands went back to your face as he stared into your new crimson eyes.

“Mine was a lot more painful, more aggressive.”

You nodded, it made sense for Jay’s to be worse, after what he had to go through…

“Babe, how are you feeling?” Jay asked, his eyes wandering back down to your neck, the scars that were once there were gone, which made Jay smile even more. Dorian was completely gone now.

You focused on retracting your fangs, and once they were gone you crashed your lips into Jay’s.

Kissing him now felt different. Felt more powerful and passionate.

Jay’s hands found their way back on your body, and oh it sent you over the edge.

He was aggressive with his touch, not gentle like he once was. His hands gripped tightly to your body and squeezed you. His lips kiss you out of pure hunger. Like he’s been deprived of it.

You loved it. The rush you were feeling. The way Jay was handling you as he pressed your body against the couch as his own connected to yours. His hand slid down your leg and wrapped it around his waist.

You were no longer fragile. Not some small piece of paper. And it felt amazing.

Jay loved the feeling of not having to worry about hurting you. He was finally able to fully give you everything he’s been wanting to give you.

You were still so fragile to him, not because you actually were, but because of how badly he was in love with you. It would be a beacon for those who in the future would want to harm you.

Jay shoved those thoughts out of his mind. It was a problem to worry about later.

Because right now all he cared about was making love to you in the ways he wasn’t able to before.

#jay bae #jay x reader #reader x jay #park jay #park jongseong #jongseong x reader #reader x jongseong #enhypen #reader x enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fanfic #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #established relationship #youcompleteme #yeonzzzn writing

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hammyballeceter · 6 months

Text

Hannibal Lecter-

Little Lamb

Hannibal x reader

- mentions of a suicide attempt & mental illness.

You had been a patient of Dr Lecter for about a month now, his first appointment being with you when you were still on the ward after a attempt to take your life. The man who you’d come to know as Dr Lecter was kind to you, his voice soothed your thoughts and you began to look forward to seeing the peculiar man each week. You tried for a little while to not let your mind wander to how attractive you found the older man, but then again it pushed other far more darker thoughts aside for awhile. And you indulged yourself into thoughts of the amber eyed gentleman.

————-

“I hope that you’ve been doing as we discussed in the last appointment”

His eyes flicked to yours and stayed there, he had an intimidating undertone to him, an intensity to his presence, which made you crave him more. Your skin prickled as if it was cold, shuffling in the seat to try and distract from the feeling of him staring at you.

“Yes, I’ve been trying to. The thoughts are as intrusive as ever. Although I’ve found a new vice that’s sort of helping. When I think about them the thoughts calm for a while. But they soon come back. And they come back with vengeance”

Your voice was quiet, as it had been all your life. Slightly above a whisper but not by much. Being softly spoken would often mean people would ignore your existence. But not Dr Lecter, he gave his full attention to you when you spoke. Although it’s his job, you’d like to think maybe, just maybe he enjoyed hearing your voice too.

“The intrusive thoughts are getting more and more graphic, it’s like my brain is willing me to become so disturbed I’m past being helped. A punishment for not being dead. I still wish it had worked.”

Your eyes never dared to meet his unwavering gaze, you knew he was looking at you, it made your skin burn in the best possible way but caused you feel even more insecure then you’d ever been. What he must think of you sat there covered in scars of your own making

———————

His eyes never left you as you sat in a rather large chair in his rather large office, the room oozed class & money. When ever you were in his presence his eyes found you and he couldn’t bring himself to rip them away. And anyways, he enjoyed watching you squirm under his gaze he could quickly tell the affect he had on you. Your appointments with him were something he looked forward to. He was drawn in by you he learned a lot about you during your appointments even making a conscious effort to ask about you outside of what the appointments were supposed to be about. Being under intensive treatment meant he got you for an hour 3 times a week to his delight. He couldn’t quite understand why a beauty like you wanted to be 6 foot under. He always thought people with such beauty also held a disgusting amount of vanity and self importance. But not you, he enjoyed your beauty, and he found himself not wanting to slice you open and eat your body piece by piece. And that scared him. He didn’t want to stay professional with you, he wanted to patch that dark little mind of yours and claim you as his.

“your thoughts are getting worse? what sort of things are these thoughts about? Don’t be afraid to tell me” He asked. Jotting down what ever notes he needed.

—————

“About hurting people, about hurting myself. Images, awful images. They’d flash into my head, just like before. But instead of them just being about me hurting myself they’re ones of me hurting others, before I’d never had that I’m scared I’ll give in” the welling of tears made room ripple and blur.

“I just want to get better. But that’s never going to happen. My only relief is thinking about someone I know I can never have. Someone who wouldn’t even look at me. They just see me as a sick patient and even then my brain punishes me for it. It hurts me but they make me feel safe, they’re the only person that listens to me”

Your tears ran, wet and warm down your face. Hannibal had never felt an ache in his heart when seeing someone cry. Usually someone’s cries meant nothing to him. Especially the ones of those he killed. But with you, he wanted to push you up against a wall and make you feel anything but sadness.

“Whom is it that you think about?” He asked with out thinking, he cursed at himself for being so abrupt when you were upset.

You dropped your head allowing your hair to fan infront of your face, you wanted to tell him, tell him about how you wanted him to make your skin blaze, how you wanted to feel his lips on every single part of your body, how you wanted him to take every waking and sleeping moment of your life and fill it with him.

“I’m afraid to say Dr Lecter I fear he may never want to see sight of me again”

Hannibal watched as you raised your head, tears streaked your face, your cheeks turned pink and your lips plump, and yet he still thought you looked beautiful. Broken yet beautiful.

He wanted to kiss you, so deeply as if he would engulf you whole and allow you to be safe.

“Why would you think that? you may be in a bad place, but you are person that holds a lot more then what you’re going through. I’ve learned a lot about you y/n your beauty is merely only the surface of you, you are intense yet so gentle. Your brain holds great torment, yet you have never laid a hand on another despite what your mind makes you think. The mere fact you acknowledge that hurt, the fact you wanted to take yourself away in fear of hurting others shows me more about you then you think. I apologise if you think this is inappropriate of me. Only a fool would never want to see sight of you again”

His face never changed, his eyes held the same undivided intense gaze. But he meant every word of what he said. Y/ns brain couldn’t comprehend a man who had everything was speaking so highly of someone who had nothing.

“Dr lec-“

“my little lamb call me Hannibal, I insist”

You body shook lightly,

“Hannibal, it’s you. It’s you that I think about. You fog my mind daily. And you make my thoughts go even if its for a little while, it’s worth it.”

Hannibal got up slowly, placing his glass on the small table beside him. You nerves through the roof as he hadn’t said anything. Had you misunderstood him? Was he simply being kind out of pity?

His hand reached for yours, large yet soft and well manicured. You accepted his hand and allowed him to pull you up.

“You fog my mind too little lamb”

He gently caressed your cheek, taking in the feeling of you finally being pressed against his body. He pressed his lips to yours, savouring how sweet you tasted, mint mixed with an undertone of the expensive wine he’d poured for you earlier. Your mind finally at ease, for the first time in a long time.

“Now, don’t ever take yourself away from me.”

#hannibal #hannibal imagine #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter x reader #imagine

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tojikai · 1 year

Text

Permanent Mark IX: Mistakes

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion, insecurities, mentions of cheating

Series Masterlist

“Sometimes, our mistakes come back to haunt us...”

“You don’t plan on working for your parent’s company?” Satoru asked you as you played with his hair. He’s laying on his stomach with his head on your chest, and his fingers caressing your thighs. It was raining outside and the sky looked so dark yet the brightness in his eyes as they bore into yours lit up every corner of your bedroom. It’s been 6 months since you started dating officially and the other day, your parents came over, accidentally meeting him for the first time.

They got a bit upset that you didn’t even tell them that you were in a serious relationship, especially your Mom who almost did an in-depth, complete background check on Satoru. You remember how she once told you that if you were going to get into a relationship, especially if it’s a serious one, make sure that your partner will not cause any shame or taint your name and the company. She can’t have you marrying ‘just anyone.’

You hated how they always tell you what they want you to do yet never took the time to actually educate and look after you. You understand that they have been letting you off the hook for a long time now, allowing you to sit and look pretty even after you graduated college but you see it as them putting everything first before you. Your plan was to at least start a family of your own, and take care of your kid before you dedicate yourself to building the company because you know that once your mom gets her grip on you, it won’t be easy to get away from her.

“No. Not now.” You traced the bridge of his nose, making his eyes flutter shut. You admired him; even with the turmoil inside your mind, you always made space to marvel at his beauty. “I thought she was going to ask me to draw my family tree.” Satoru laughed, kissing the valley of your breasts, coaxing you to join him. It’s still fun now because it hasn’t happened yet but knowing how far your mom can go, it’s not a laughing matter at all. Your mother is not a bad person, just a…bad parent. She thinks of you as a pawn for her company, making sure that you’re suited for it when the time comes.

That’s quite contrary to how your Dad treats you. He’s responsible for the freedom that you’re having, and even if he’s not always with you, he never forgets to call you or check on you. You understand that what your mom is doing is because of all the things she wants to reach and prove to everyone. You just happened to be included in the materials that she needed to accomplish them, unfortunately. And you didn’t realize that it will comprise your personal and private life even as you grow older and become your own person.

“There’s nothing you can do. Abort it. Or you won’t get a single penny from us. I’ll throw you down with the regulars.” Your mother’s threats are not empty ones and you are sure of it. Even your dad turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed at her harshness. Not once has this been mentioned, no matter how badly you acted and no matter what you did.

“That’s too much. Your daughter’s already here and working. What more will you ask of her?” Your father finally spoke, obviously not agreeing with your Mom’s decision. Despite your mother’s attitude, they never fought much even when you were little. You used to think that maybe they’re just too busy with this company to even argue, but looking at it now, you can’t help but think that maybe it’s because your father always chose not to reason with her. Not getting anything from your Mom is not a problem, you have your dad. And it’s not like you couldn’t do anything either. Now that you have a real responsibility, you know you’d do your best to adjust. You can’t forever be like this, anyway.

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of them. Y/N and the baby.” Satoru swallowed thickly, thinking of a way to get you out of the situation without being disrespectful, even as your mom threw him a sharp look. “You literally dumped my daughter and now you’re telling me that you could take care of her? Boy, I don’t trust you one bit.” Your mother snarled, looking Satoru down. You felt him slightly flinch, floored by your mother’s brutal honesty. You remembered how you told them that Satoru broke up with you, but never mentioned that he cheated on you. You could only imagine how harsher your mother would be if she knew.

Satoru took a deep breath, obviously taken aback by your mother’s words. He could see how different you are from her. You can be stubborn at times but you never look at people in such a way that could make them question their worth. He glanced down for a second before standing straighter, squeezing your hand but before he could answer your mom, you decided that it wouldn’t lead the argument to a better path. The only way to settle this down is to let your mother know that you’re firm with your decision.

“I won’t do it, Mom. I’ll work with the regular employees if you want me to. But this is my kid, I decide what I will do with it.” Your voice was shaking but even so, you did your best to stand up to your mother who could only look at you with annoyance. For some reason, you cannot let go of the growing life inside you. Shoko already told you that you’d have to be smart with your decisions, especially when it involves the baby. She reminded you of the situation and you understand how heavy it is but it’s not enough to shut down the warmth of happiness that fills your chest every time you think about how it could change your life.

Maybe after all the wrong things that you’ve done, you could finally do something right.

“Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into, Y/N?” Your mom sounded desperate as she sighed, shoulder slouching as her brows pulled up and bumped together. She looked more worried now than mad, like how she always gets when you get yourself into trouble. But this time, this is not mere trouble; it’s connected to you and your whole being. You know that you have another option and you're not overlooking that but right now, your choice is to keep it.

"I'm sorry, Mom." You took a deep breath as you blinked three times in a row, preparing yourself for whatever consequence it is that you’d have to face for being insolent after all the years of freedom that they have given you. You can see your mother shake her head as you look down at your feet. Satoru's body relaxed for a short while before he changed his stance, ready to leave.

"Are you two together again?" Your father asked, glancing at Satoru for a second before looking back at you. Your father’s not showing any signs of hostility towards Satoru and you know that it’s only because he has no idea why you broke up. You shook your head before your ex could answer and you could almost hear him sigh. You know that he's still hoping even if he wasn't telling you. But you're done with all of this. You cannot have yourself overthinking about the sturdiness of the relationship when it's built up on its own ashes after it burnt down to the ground.

"No. But he wants to be present—" Before you could finish, your mother's already cutting you off, her anger skyrocketing once again as she hears you make excuses for the man who carelessly stomped on your heart. "Then where will it lead you? You'd only end up falling back in the palm of his hand even if you don't want it. You know better than to settle for someone who'd throw you away so easily." Satoru winced, remembering how your mother refused to talk to him properly at the hospital if not for the sake of her image.

"You don’t understand, Mom." You exhaled, not caring if your voice broke. This situation is too much for you. The only preparation you made was about the baby. You didn't think they’d interrogate you about your relationship with Satoru too and you blame yourself for it. You should’ve known that they’d ask about the father if you tell them that you’re keeping it. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself that you purposely avoided thinking about what’s going to be the agreement between you and Satoru. You don’t want that kind of topic because it only reminds you that your child might never have a whole family and it’s breaking you.

“Just know that I’m not taking any of my words back.” Your mother held her head high despite the prominent frustration on her face. You can see your father reaching over to rub her back but she quickly turned to make an exit. You didn’t expect your mother to back down quickly, but you thought that maybe she was thinking about your state too. Your father shook his head, deep in thought as you felt Satoru’s hold on your hand loosen up a bit as he turned to you to scan your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked you, not letting go of your hand before he looked over to your father when he heard you hum. He was probably thinking of how to excuse the two of you to leave. It was eerily quiet and you could only watch your shadows on the tiled floor as you replayed the previous scene in your head. You unconsciously reached to pat your stomach, wondering if it could also feel the quick beats of your heart.

“If you need anything you can call, Y/N. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’d have to beg—” Your father was interrupted by Satoru as he stepped forward, “It’s okay. I…I won’t make her do something like that. I’m just…just owning up to my mistakes.” Your father probably thought that you had to ask Satoru to stay with you for the sake of your child. You understand if he thought that it was the case. After all, what they know is that Satoru was the one who left. Knowing how they view you, your parents most likely assumed that it was you who made a problem.

“Why did you leave my daughter?” Your eyes widened when you heard how your father asked Satoru so directly. In an instant you were holding his arm, pulling him back as you tried to put your thoughts together to make an excuse for what happened. “We fell out of love.” You quickly answered, making Satoru look at you with a puzzled look. You cannot let your parents know. Not when you’re having a kid with him. You know that the baby is just as important to you as it is to Satoru and you could only think of how your parents would probably try to keep it away from him if they found out.

No matter how you think of it. You don’t think it will be fair to him if they step over his rights of being a father to his own child.

“I…I feel sick. C-can we go now?” You added quickly, squeezing Satoru’s arm tightly but not letting your father notice it. You hate to lie to him but this is for the better. It’d only cause more chaos if they found out. Your biggest fear is not raising your child with separated parents but it is raising your child without even knowing who his or her father is. “Do we need to go to the doctor?” Satoru held you by your arms, letting you lean on him, unaware of what you were trying to do. You simply shook your head and looked at your father who was already on his feet, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Sit here, I’ll call a doctor.” You almost cursed when he spoke the idea but instead, you shook your head, insistent on just leaving before everything gets worse, “No. Maybe I just need to rest. Can we just go home?” Your eyes flicked between your father and Satoru. You felt bad that you were worrying them but what else could you do?

”Alright, uhm…I’m sorry for what happened.” Satoru spoke to your father, not really knowing what to say after the situation with your mom. You could see your father shaking his head at him, “Just make sure she’s safe. Y/N, call me. You know your mother’s just like that but she loves you.” He reminded you, walking closer to give you a hug. You only nodded your head, feeling your father rub your back to comfort you. “I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry.” You pulled away with a hum, stepping away to let Satoru once again support your body.

It felt like all the tension escaped your body the moment you heard Satoru bid goodbye to your father. You could feel your muscles loosening as you quietly sighed in relief, letting your ex walk you out of your Mom’s office. You heard your fingers crack as you clenched your fists when you stepped into the elevator. It was the same elevator you and Rie talked in and you couldn’t help but flinch at the memory.

“How are you feeling? Your father was right, we should see a doctor.” Satoru tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you pressed your lips together. You suddenly thought of what it’d be like if you were to run into Rie here. If you get stuck in the same room as them, you'd claw your way out of the walls just to run. It’s almost as if your heart was reminding you that he’d never choose you over her.

He’d only choose you if she wasn’t one of the choices. Your lips twitched downwards as you looked away, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.

"What are you thinking about?" He spoke in a soft voice beside you, watching your face in an attempt to read whatever is bugging you. "Nothing important." You took a deep breath, blinking fast as you shook your head. Out of all the times that you've been in this elevator, this is the slowest ride so far. Satoru took a step closer to you and you can tell that he just wants to get out of the building as well by the way he keeps shifting his weight on his two feet. Halfway down, someone got in and you had to force a smile and a greeting as countless thoughts run inside your mind.

The moment the elevator door opened to the lobby, Satoru was already guiding you out. His hand was resting on the small of your back as you tried to look calm even with the quick big strides that you were making. It felt like the building was slowly closing in on you. Like it's starting to get smaller and narrower the longer you stay inside it. You don't know if anyone heard what happened inside your mother's office but you thought that it's best if you avoided everyone's eyes.

You didn't know that among those eyes that are watching you walk down that building with the father of your child are the eyes of a woman whose heart you also ruined. Rie watched from afar as you and Satoru strode past the glass doors before making a turn to where his car was parked, wondering how you are walking so casually with him as if the guy didn't betray your trust and crush your soul.

"That's the boss's daughter. You know her?" The woman dropped the stack of paper in front of her as she shook her head, not wanting to associate herself with Y/N anymore. But Satoru, he still got her heart thumping. Even after he spilled everything to Rie about why he wanted to leave her, she still couldn’t help but hope that maybe he’d come back. Maybe he’s just guilty, maybe he just felt bad for what he did to you.

“Are those the papers I signed earlier? Why are you doing this in the lobby?” Your mother’s voice suddenly boomed behind Rie. Stepping back a bit to the side, she made way for her as she checked the papers. “I was just helping her sort it out, ma’am since I don’t have much work in my hands.” The employee answered, watching the way your mom’s eyes scanned the documents for a bit before they turned to Rie. The woman’s features are strong yet beautiful, they’re nothing similar to yours. It only led Rie to the conclusion that you must look like your father. You look a lot less fierce than your mother. Rie bowed her head a bit when her eyes swept her up and down.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Rie smiled politely, greeting your mother as she turned to face her fully. To be honest, Rie was a bit nervous when talking to her because of how serious she always seemed. She could already tell why you can’t stand living in the same house as her but what Rie couldn’t understand was how you weren’t scared enough to follow every word she says. But then again, parents—no matter how strict they are, have the tendency to spoil their children. And you’re an only child. It’d only make sense if you grew up getting everything you want even just by throwing a bit of a tantrum.

“Do you…” Rie isn’t dumb. She’s aware of the possibility that you might’ve told your mother about her already. The question is: which version did you tell about her? The woman who your boyfriend cheated on you with? Or the woman your ex-boyfriend cheated on with you? Either way, Rie knows that she’s not winning because this is your mom. There’s no way she’d take into consideration that Rie got betrayed too.

“Do you happen to know my daughter?” Your mother continued, almost confirming Rie’s initial thoughts about you telling her your story. “A friend? A former classmate?” She inquired further, doing her best to plaster a friendly smile on her face. She notices how Rie looks so tense just by talking to her. It was a harmless question really, but after talking to so many people all her life, negotiating and sealing deals, your mother could easily read someone’s expressions and actions.

“Not really, ma’am. Just…through an acquaintance. I knew her through an old high school classmate.” Rie smiled, enveloping her right hand with her left just to check the temperature, something she does out of habit when in such situations. She can see your mother nod before her eyebrows scrunched up as if she’s deep in thought, “The doctor?” Your mother tried to guess, referring to Shoko and Rie only nodded, not wanting to drag the conversation long. She’s already uncomfortable around your mother, and she made it worse by asking about you.

“I figured. She helped Y/N a lot when she was at the hospital.” I know that. I was one of the reasons why that happened to your daughter. Rie’s eyebrows furrowed for a second at the thought. She remembered seeing Shoko with your parents in the waiting room when they got there, it felt like everything happened only yesterday. She realized that her romance with Satoru was cut too fast and too short. It still stings but she knows that she’d take him back in an instant if he ever changes his mind.

“So, you know Satoru too? And the tattoo artist.” Rie almost wondered if your mother was a mind-reader. An annoying one. “Y/N said they’re classmates.” She tapped her long nails at the top of the marble table. It sounded like the ticking of the clock and it all felt like a time-gated interview that would cost her something if she didn’t answer on time. She nodded again, avoiding your mother’s eyes as she pursed her lips. She can see her nod from the corners of her eyes.

“Oh well, you guys do what you should be doing. I’ll get going now.” Rie almost let out a sigh of relief as she heard the clacking of her heels fade away into the distance. She can hear her friend giggling as she closedsher eyes, taking a deep breath. She really thought that she was going to confront her about you. Even if she knew that you and your mother were not that close, she’s also aware that your mother would do anything to make sure that you’re not being stepped on.

“You know Miss Y/N?” Her friend asked, placing the papers in front of Rie. “Not personally. The guy with her is an old friend.” Rie followed the direction where your mother went, both curious and scared as to why she’s intrigued by her. “Ah, I see. Miss Y/N’s nice. She only started training and working here a couple of weeks ago.” Shaina smiled at Rie which she returned with a forced one.

“That man’s her ex. But I heard he’s trying to win her back even though he dumped her for someone else not long ago. At least that’s what the rumors here say. Don’t mention it to anyone.” Shaina hushed, eyes darting around to check their surroundings. Rie could only block out all the compliments her friend was saying about you. She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want to know about your life. She’s still not over everything and to see you looking so okay with Satoru following you around didn’t help at all.

It wasn’t the kindest thought but how else is she going to feel when you’re the reason why she’s hurting? She still regrets letting Satoru go with you that day.

_______________________________________

“Thank you, I’ll just call you when I need something.” You murmured as you reached for your seatbelt before Satoru beat you to it. His brows furrowed at your words, “I can’t leave you, you’re not feeling well. What if something happens to you and the baby?” He slouched in his seat, eyeing you through the rearview mirror. As much as possible, you still try to keep your distance from Satoru, constantly reminding yourself that whatever you’re doing right now is just for the sake of the life that you two made. Nothing more.

You know that what your mother said is not impossible. Being with him can only make you fall back into him.

“I lied. I just wanted to leave.” You told him directly, watching as his mouth slightly opened at your confession. You fidgeted with your fingers before clicking your tongue and reaching for the door. “Are you sure? I can stay with you, my work can wait—” Satoru was cut off when you let out an annoyed sigh as you turned your head to the window. “We don’t live together, Satoru. You stay with me for the baby but that doesn’t mean that you can just go in and out of my flat as you please. You’re not my boyfriend.” You opened the door to step out, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

Satoru had to stare at your back as you walked inside your building, throbbing pain in his chest and a tight feeling in his throat. This wasn’t new to him ever since he tried to win you back but it still hurt. It’s been something that he’s kept in him for so long because he knows that he doesn’t have the right to complain but these days, Suguru has more access to you and your everything than him. It hurts to see that everything that he’s lost is now seemingly making its way to somebody else.

Satoru doesn’t know the depth of what you two share but he’s aware of how deep Suguru’s feelings go for you are. He doesn’t know what happened on all those nights that you were needing him but Suguru was the one beside you. He doesn’t know anything about the two of you anymore and it scared him. It’s like karma biting him back in the ass twice as hard after what he pulled on his best friend five years ago.

“Suguru, you free?” He spoke on the phone, looking again at the number that he unknowingly dialed as he looked at the doors of your apartment building. He hoped that you’d step out of it and take back everything you said and instead ask him if he wanted to stay. He knows that you’re still upset about what happened earlier and Satoru wants nothing but to erase all those thoughts from your mind. But how is he gonna do that when you locked him out?

“I’m about to close the shop, why?” He can hear Suguru doing something in the background. Satoru needs to talk about it all or he’ll end up losing his mind. If he finds out anything that would destroy him then he’d let it destroy him. It’d be unfair if he were to counter it when he’s the one who caused it. He’s left with no other option but to stay quiet and understand.

“Let’s go out for a drink. Y/N’s mad at me.” Satoru chuckled at the ache in his chest. It’s not the ‘You annoy me’ type of mad but the ‘I can’t stand being in the same place as you.’ type of mad that you’re feeling for him. It’s agonizing to think that the person who used to love him with all her heart and more is now closing herself away from him.

He can’t blame you for wanting to protect yourself from him.

“She always is.” The sound of the door slamming shut can be heard from Suguru’s line and Satoru took it as a cue to start his car again. “Alright, let’s just meet there, send me the place.” Suguru continued and Satoru could only hum, and thank him for agreeing. He quickly sent him a message before proceeding to drive. It was a cold and silent war the two of you are going through. Satoru has his white flag raised high but still, he continues to charge toward you, wanting nothing but to be on the same side as you again.

Reaching the pub, Satoru was thinking of how to ask the question in his head without aggravating the other. It’s been there for weeks now, and now that he’s seeing that his situation with you is not improving at all, he knew he had to talk to his friend. There are times when you’d call Suguru when he’s around and he feels like a third wheel; like he’s listening in on a conversation spoken in a language that the two of you understand.

He asked Shoko about it already but the only answer that he got was “We stayed with her when you were gone.” but it was never about Suguru alone. She’s the on who suggested Satoru talk to the two of you but he doesn’t want to stress you with that. If there’s something that you aren’t telling him, then it’s fine. He won’t force you to tell him, like you said, you’re only letting him in because of the baby.

“Hey,” He tapped Suguru’s shoulder as he walked by him to sit on the other side. He looked around, licking his lips as he nodded, thankful that it wasn’t as crowded as he expected it to be. He still doesn’t know how to talk to Suguru about this. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he was so insistent on knowing about it. It’s not like it would change anything. A positive and negative response is just equal at this point.

“How’s Y/N?” Suguru pulled up his sleeve, leaning on his elbow as he pushed the drink he ordered for his friend. He’s got a feeling that this hang-out isn’t just for catching up. Eyeing his best friend and his stance, he could tell that he was about to ask him something. Spending more time with you brought you, him, and Shoko closer together; him especially. You were close before but now, it feels as if he’s seen everything already. In a span of two months, you made him feel as if he’s been missing you his whole life.

It was like you were making up for the lost time that he was supposed to be with you.

“She’s doing good. I just dropped her home.” Satoru scratched his head as he chuckled mirthlessly before proceeding, “She locked me out again.” He shook his head, before looking up to meet Suguru’s eyes. He can tell that he feels sorry for him. He’s looking at him with sympathy, probably thinking if he should tell him words of comfort or just say ‘you had it coming.’ But instead, he just sighed and took a gulp of his drink.

“You know it’s not going to be easy.” Suguru shook his head, leaning back as he traced the body of his glass, there was a short moment of silence before Satoru’s deep intake of breath cut through it, “I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.” Suguru felt bad for his friend. He knows that what he did was wrong and the damage he had caused to you may be beyond repair but the way he’s dedicating his everything just to be with you again when there is no certainty is undeniably admirable.

“You’re gonna ask me something,” Suguru stated rather than ask. It only made Satoru smile, chuckling as he nodded his head signaling that Suguru’s assumption was right. Suguru doesn’t plan on lying about anything. You two already talked about what happened, you didn’t try to deny it or even ignore it. If anything, the day after that, you both opened it up to each other.

“It wasn’t a mistake, I know what I was doing.” You plopped down on your couch in front of him as he tried to predict what you were thinking. Suguru was aware too but the thing about intoxication is you don’t really have enough control over your body. Especially when you’re hurting. And also when he’s pining. Your desire to forget and his suppressed feelings for you were intensified by the alcohol and that’s why it happened.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong-” He started, leaning his elbow on his knees as he heard you sigh, clicking your tongue as you put down your cup. “Stop blaming yourself, I let it happen too.” You closed your eyes, thinking of how it would affect Satoru when he finds out. Sure, he cheated on you. And yes, you’re not together anymore but Suguru is still his best friend. Betrayal is betrayal and no matter how fast you try to run away from it, you know that its consequences are bound to catch up to you— even if you weren’t intentionally trying to hurt him when something happened between you and Suguru—if you don’t fail to make things right..

“If he asks you about it, don’t lie.” You swallowed, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “I’d tell him about it, I just have to figure out how.” You added and it only made Suguru wonder if you’d take it all the way with him if he asked you to. He wondered if you’d agree to be with him if he told you how he feels for you. But he won’t. He already feels like he took advantage of you because of what happened. Acting on his selfish feelings will only prove how bad of a friend he is to Satoru and to you.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was less drunk, I should’ve—” Another click of your tongue made Suguru stop yet again. You sighed as you stared at him, shaking your head, “I told you not to blame yourself. I initiated it.” You reminded him, but it only made him feel more guilty, thinking that he should’ve never given in. No matter how much control he lost over himself. As if that was an easy thing.

“I was thinking of telling him about it already, you know?” You sighed, fiddling with your fingers as you recalled your thoughts earlier before you and Suguru decided to talk. “But I realized, it’s not like we started dating. And it’s not like he’s still my boyfriend either.” You explained, glancing up at him just to see his reaction because you’re not really sure if you’re making sense. “But then again, he’s still your friend. It’d be even more disrespectful if we tried to hide it from him. We’re gonna have to tell him about it soon.”

Suguru nodded as he looked at you, your eyes glued on the carpeted floors as worry and disappointment became more prominent in your features with each passing second. Suguru knows that Satoru is more than curious about what happened while he was gone. His ex-girlfriend spent time with his best friend almost every day. If Suguru was in his place, he’d probably worry about it too. It’s not like there was no trust in their friendship. But knowing that your best friend used to harbor feelings for your ex-girlfriend, and probably still does, is something that could create such thoughts.

The plan to confess everything to Satoru didn’t change, but your pregnancy happened and all of a sudden it’s the least important thing. So many things were changing and taking place that your initial plan to talk to Satoru got buried under them all. Suguru can almost see the consequences of that negligence right now.

“You still have feelings for Y/N?” He asked casually as if he wasn’t bouncing his leg up and down under the table due to anxiousness. He took a big gulp of his drink, preparing himself for whatever answer he may get. Satoru promised himself that he wouldn’t start a fight. That’s why he chose this space, thinking that maybe it could help him keep his emotions in check. But obviously, Suguru knows him better than that.

“I’m going out for a smoke. We should talk outside.” He stood up from his seat, not waiting for Satoru as he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Satoru stared at the back of his head as he followed like he was trying to read his thoughts, desperate for answers as the long walk to the parking lot burned his patience. Suguru went to the farthest end, near the fence where no one could hear them. Had Satoru known that he’d be like this about it, he would’ve met him somewhere else instead.

“Why won’t you just say it to me? Something happened, right?” Satoru clenched his teeth as he watched Suguru pause his movements before putting the cigarette packet back in his pants. He couldn’t even bother to smoke now that he can feel his best friend’s rising temper. He wanted to protect Satoru’s feelings and you from whatever he might say or do if Suguru admits the truth. But it was like he can almost hear your voice, reminding him to just say the truth instead of stacking up the lies.

“Yeah.” Satoru’s hand clenched as he looked away, swallowing away his wrath as the images of you and Suguru doing it in the bed you once shared played before his eyes. Did you think like this when he was away with Rie too? It’s driving him insane. The thought of it, the idea of it was squeezing his heart, shattering his very core as strings of whispered curses rushed past his lips. Satoru can almost hear your voice calling out Suguru’s name and he can already taste the blood in his mouth.

“When?” Satoru tried to keep his voice calm but failed. There was a big difference in the lighthearted tone of his voice from when he was talking inside the bar to now. “How and why did it happen?” Every word that comes out of his mouth keeps getting louder but Satoru cannot control it. Not when the thoughts of someone else making you feel the same way he did was racing inside his head. “I know I’m not her boyfriend anymore, but what the fuck, Suguru?”

Satoru was panting as he spoke the last part. He can hear his teeth grinding against each other as he clenches them. He waited for his friend to answer, patiently and then, impatiently. He doesn’t know when he grabbed his shoulders to turn him around, quickly grabbing his collar to pull him harshly. Satoru’s eyes were blown wide as he breathed heavily, eyes full of anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and frustration.

“It happened sometime after you tried to get back with Y/N. She was drunk and I was too.” Suguru started, eyebrows furrowed as he remained unmoving even as Satoru’s grip on his shirt got tighter. He’d seen this coming. Of course, he’d get angry. Finding out that your ex did something like that with your best friend is revolting. Some may even consider it unforgivable. Suguru is in the wrong this time and he’s got no plans but to own up to them. No matter how shitty Satoru treated Y/N, he still doesn’t deserve this betrayal.

“And you never told me? I asked you multiple times if there’s something going on between the two of you.” Satoru’s teeth started to tingle from how hard he was clenching his jaw and grinding his molars together. It was starting to get painful and he could feel his hands get colder as his knuckles started to feel numb from the friction with the fabric of his friend's shirt.

“I’m sorry—” Suguru was cut off by a punch from Satoru as he briefly let go of his shirt before pulling him back again, slamming his body against his as he let out all his frustrations through his words, shaking his friend as he glowered at him with bloodshot eyes, red with anger and the strain from fighting back his tears. Suguru couldn’t bring himself to punch back but instead just let his friend shake an answer out of him.

“Did you plan this?”, “Is this Y/N’s way of getting back to me?”, “Will you ever tell me if I didn’t ask?” The questions kept pushing their way out of Satoru’s lungs, taking his breath away with them, and leaving him panting. “What did you do? Tell me everything.” Satoru glared directly at Suguru who was now wiping the blood off his chin. His eyebrows furrowed as he hung his head down in shame.

“I…I touched her.” Suguru started but was quickly cut off by Satoru’s growl, “How?” He tried to steady his breaths as he took a step away from his best friend as if controlling himself not to throw another hit on him for the sake of the answers that he was trying to get out of him. It was hard. Especially when the images of the woman you love being pleasured by someone else keep flickering before your eyes.

“We didn’t do it, Satoru. I touched her but she didn’t touch me. I left before something worse could happen—” Curses flew out of Satoru’s mouth as if Suguru just gave him the dumbest explanation ever. “You think that changes anything?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes are now more sad than angry. Satoru shook his head, mouth twitching as he backed away, letting go of Suguru’s shirt.

“Were you just waiting for me to fuck up before you pull some shit like this?” Satoru chuckled, looking at Suguru like he just caught up on his plans but Suguru knew that it was nonexistent. What happened between the two of you just happened. He’d never plot something like this against his friend. He’d never thought of it. No matter how much he wanted you, he never wished ill about your and Satoru’s relationship.

“I wouldn’t do that to you—” Suguru was once again interrupted when Satoru grabbed his shirt again, with both hands this time. “But you did! You know how vulnerable she was!” Suguru flinched, his brows pulling together as he let his friend let all his anger out. He cannot blame Satoru for thinking that way. Suguru knows damn well that anyone who’d hear the story would think that he took advantage of you and the situation you were going through.

“Did you think it would make her love you? Did you think that after all these years, that’s all it would take to make her love you?” It was painful to hear those words because Suguru knows the answer to them. Not once has he and Satoru talked about their feelings for you even if it was not a secret to them and Shoko. “Don’t think that just because I fucked up, you can love her more than I do. You cannot take my place, Suguru. You weren’t even able to get her back then when we weren’t together, what makes you think you’d get her now?”

It was now Suguru’s turn to throw a strong punch at his friend, sending him staggering backward. To get angry at him for the betrayal that he did was one thing but to bring up the past that he was struggling to forget every day was another. Thoughts of what ifs and what could’ve been haunted him from the moment he gave you away. And to hear about it now is just another bullet in his heart. The first sentences were hurtful enough even though he knows that he deserved it.

“You know why she never fell for me!” Suguru spat back, panting as he stopped himself from throwing another punch. He should be the one being beaten because of what he did but he just can’t let it go. He’s been keeping it all to himself for the sake of his friendship with Satoru and you. Suguru decided that if he was going to remind him of it then, he might as well repeat to him why he got you too.

“I loved her first!” Suguru shouted, finally letting go of all the words that he’s been dying to say. In all those moments that you were with him, in every tear that he wipes away from your eyes part of him regrets just giving up on you. He couldn’t count how many times he wondered if surrendering was the right choice he made.

“I really like Y/N, you know?” Satoru threw the small pebble across the road, letting it tumble on the hot pavement before coming to a stop under the streetlight as it hit its pole. To be honest, Suguru doesn’t know how to respond to him and that’s why he kept quiet, waiting for Satoru to say more about his feelings for you. Suguru can already feel how complicated it would be if he told him his.

“And you do, too. Right?” Satoru chuckled, elbowing his side. Suguru looked at him, there was nothing but seriousness on his face. He can’t find it in himself to laugh when he’s aware of how profound his emotions toward you are. And knowing his friend, Satoru might downplay a lot of things but Suguru knows him too much to not understand the underlying meaning of his statements.

“I…” Suguru heard the air passing through his teeth as he inhaled sharply, Suguru didn’t like how he hesitated to tell him the story as if it was something so big of a deal. Satoru is a man who speaks his mind, so for him to pause before saying something to Suguru made him feel like he was about to open up about a serious topic.

“We…something happened between Y/N and I.” Satoru sounded very steady as he let the sentence flow out of his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been rehearsing just to tell Suguru. “Look, I’m not trying to one-up you or anything. It just happened, we were hanging out and you were busy.” Satoru turned his body to him. All of a sudden everything was just quiet. The distant sound of cars speeding down the empty street in the middle of the night was loud even if it was out of sight.

“You know I was trying to pursue her,” Suguru replied, sighing heavily as he untied his shoes just to do something with his hands. He felt helpless after what Satoru said and he was already subconsciously admitting his defeat. Satoru shifted beside him, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head slowly, making Suguru chuckle.

“I…You never told me. You didn’t tell her either. It was never confirmed, how am I supposed to know?” Satoru doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Suguru. He had a feeling that he liked Y/N more than others but he didn’t think that he was that serious about it. He cannot find it in himself to let you slip away too.

“Look, It wasn’t intentional. Had I known that you feel like that for her I would’ve—” Satoru turned his body to Suguru, stopping himself when he saw his best friend looking down. With his lips pursed, Suguru turned to Satoru. He was expecting him to have an angry look on his face, a look of betrayal. Satoru wanted him to be mad at him for being so careless with his feelings but Suguru just smiled at him. A light chuckle escaped his lips as he stood up, tapping Satoru’s shoulder in the process.

“It’s cool. I’ll get over it.” His hand instinctively reached out for the lighter in his pocket, pulling it out to play with it as silence took over everything. “Just…make her happy. Don’t play with her, Satoru.” Suguru glanced at him briefly over his shoulders. Satoru could only sigh as he watched Suguru’s back. He knows that Suguru is a nice guy, but he can’t help but feel like he should’ve been more observant of how he treated you.

“I know you’re thinking about giving way, Satoru. You can’t do that. It’ll only get awkward for the three of us; especially for Y/N, you know?” It took everything in him to make the conversation sound as light as it can be; in contrast with the heavy feeling in his chest—almost as if he was being dragged down by the ground. Almost as if it’s wanting to swallow him whole.

Happy crushes shouldn’t feel like this.

Just like back then, Satoru couldn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say when his best friend just slapped him with the truth that’s been lurking in his shadows all this time. He knows that he’s got no business talking about how Suguru wouldn’t get you when the only reason that kept him away from you was Satoru. Had his best friend not held back from you before, would you be stuck with him now? It’s almost as if it was a butterfly effect. Things wouldn’t be like this now if you were with the better man.

Satoru wouldn’t want to hear that from you, though. He doesn’t want to hear you regret not noticing his best friend first when he could’ve been the better option for you. Satoru would only get this selfish with you. Even when he doesn’t have the right to. It’s just too painful to think about how he’d probably never be enough for all the love that you are ready to give. He’s not worthy of it but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t work for years just to be deserving of it.

“Don’t tell me that you love her more, you’ve done too much to convince me of that,” Suguru added, wiping the corner of his mouth as he panted, calming himself down. To be perfectly honest, he was already over it all. He wasn’t praying for his best friend to fuck up just to get a chance with you. He loves you but he’s way past the stage of being jealous of Satoru. But it’d be a lie if he said he never wished it was him to sleep next to you during the first months of your relationship.

He just slowly got over it. Realizing that seeing you every day, smiling and fine is enough for him. Realizing that he’d be able to be close to you, to look after you, even as a friend is enough for him. But they were right. It’s easy to fall back in love with someone you already loved before—very easy.

Because if it’s not, he wouldn’t be putting his heart on the line, the moment Satoru messed with you. He wouldn’t be holding your hand as you fall asleep beside him at night, with tears streaming down your face as you whimper your heartbreaker’s name. He wouldn’t be breaking his barriers just to make sure you’re getting all the attention you need even if it means crushing his own heart again. Suguru isn’t dumb. He knows that you don’t plan on getting into anything serious with him but that became fine for him too. A sad reality that he woke up to every day but is only accepting today.

You only wanted the comfort and kindness that he gave you. But you never wanted his everything as you did with Satoru. Like he did with you.

You just didn’t want to be lonely, and he just happened to be there with you.

“I know I’m wrong, Satoru. It was a moment of weakness, what else can I do?” Suguru muttered, jaw clenching as his nails dug into his palm. “Bringing up the past wouldn’t fix it. I don’t even know how to make this shit up to you.” His voice almost broke at the last part.

Satoru just stood there, looking at him as a single tear rolled down to his chin. He quickly ran a hand through his face, sighing violently as he looked away from Suguru. It’s like a crash from the wrath that he was feeling earlier. It still hurts. Knowing about what happened that night is a thorn in his heart. Something that he wouldn’t bother to pull out even if it killed him—even if he was stepped on too.

Because if one looks closely and traces all the events that had happened and are happening now, he would always be the main cause.

It was his actions that led everything and all of you to this mess. Suguru watches as Satoru straightens his posture, running a hand through his hair as his lips quiver ever so slightly. “Was Y/N planning to tell me the truth?” Satoru spoke, turning to his right as his eyes looked straight ahead. There was nothing but sorrow in his light blue eyes as he bit his inner lip.

“Yes. It’s been bothering her but she cannot find the right time.” Satoru sighed loudly, nodding slowly as he slightly turned his head to look at the ground between him and Suguru. “Don’t stress her out because of this, if you’re mad just take it out on me,” Suguru added, worried that Satoru might confront you about it. “And don’t suspect her of anything else, Satoru. You know she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She’s pregnant with my child, what makes you think I’d do that to her?” Satoru emphasizes the term of possession. As if trying to prove something with it, when in reality, that’s just him reassuring himself. He’s agitated by the fact that Suguru could tell where his accusations are going. He pushed them all aside, not wanting to think like that about you.

“I know what’s good and bad for her,” Satoru added quietly, too drained to start anything again anymore. Suguru could only watch as Satoru walked away from him, quick to find his car and eager to go back to you.

—---------------------------

Three knocks at the door made Y/N’s eyes widen in shock as she looked back at it. Turning off the stove, she trudged towards the door but not before peeking through the hole. Seeing the father of the growing child in her womb, she opened the door. Her blank face faltered at the obvious redness of Satoru’s eyes.

“Why?” Y/N questioned but still stepped aside to let the man in. Satoru sighed at the warm air inside the room. It’s always warm near Y/N. He thought letting the comforting atmosphere that he was feeling despite the cold welcome that you gave him. It’s like he’s already contented to know that you are still letting him around you, to be near you even after all that he’s done. Maybe you’re only doing it for the sake of your baby but it still made Satoru hopeful.

“Nothing. I had a few drinks. Are you cooking?” Satoru gave a small smile as he stepped inside, peering at the kitchen as he changed the topic. He knows that you noticed but he can’t have you stressing about anything now. It’s not easy to hide the evidence of how much he poured his feelings out while he drove. Stopping at the dimly lit parts of the street just because he can’t see anything in front of him.

“Yeah.” You closed the door, not taking your eyes off of him as he walked to your kitchen, removing his jacket on his way to place it on the couch. Your eyes followed the clothing, staring at it blankly for a few seconds, before shaking your head, blinking as you snapped the thoughts out of your head.

“Why are you here?” You walked to the kitchen, seeing him turn the stove on again. He glanced at you briefly before focusing on the dish again. “I figured you’d probably want something to eat.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to sound collected. “I was thinking about calling you to ask if you want something but you don’t like fast food nowadays, right?” He smiled at you, tapping the spatula on the lip of the pan.

“M-hm.” You hummed pulling a chair out to sit, “Where were you?” You reached over to grab the apple sitting inside the basket in the middle of your kitchen table. You heard the stove turn off before Satoru laughed lightly, “I went drinking with Suguru after he closed his shop. Just a light drink.” His hand brushed your shoulder in a soothing manner as he walked behind you, grabbing a plate.

“Why? Did you miss me?” He teased as he tried to carefully put the food on the plate before putting it in front of you. You scoffed, “You wish.” You grabbed the spoon and fork that he was handing out to you, hearing him chuckle. He continued to move around your kitchen, placing a tall glass on the table as he poured you some orange juice. You chewed your food as you watched the vibrant color fill the transparent glass.

“Did he miss me?” He asked you, making you look up at him. He was staring at you with eyes softer than before. There was a hint of tiredness behind it but the glimmer of affection is what made you sigh. “He?” You raised your eyebrow after swallowing, giving him a small smirk as you stood up to grab the glass in front of him. “What makes you so sure that it’s a he?” You sat back down, rubbing your stomach as you gave a small smile. Thinking about it now, you’re excited to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

“I just feel it.” He shook his head, holding back his smile. “What if we get twins?” You looked down, voicing out your thoughts as you got lost in your head, thinking about how you’ll buy little clothes and shoes for your little one and how you’ll paint a room and decorate it. In the corner of your eye, you could see Satoru pulling out the chair beside you. You looked at him to see him leaning his head on his hand, watching you in awe.

“That sounds nice.” He breathed out, feeling lightheaded because of the growing intensity of his feelings for you. Just when he thought that it couldn’t get any stronger, you showed him that there’s always more of you to love. Satoru prayed in his mind, talking to the heavens above that one day he could call you his again.

“We should think of a nickname, you know?” His hand slowly reached out, caressing your stomach as you put down your utensils. His hand is warm and it almost made you forget all the events and thoughts that you experienced earlier. There was comfort in his touch as you turned to your side to give him more access.

Satoru knelt down in front of you, placing both of his large hands on your tummy. He looked up at you, watching your eyes for a moment before scooting closer until he was in between your thighs. He let out a long sigh before pressing his forehead on your stomach.

“Mama and Dada will be fine.” He whispered quietly and you almost didn’t catch it. He sounds so vulnerable, so miserable. He’s always sounded like that but this time there was more pain lacing his voice. He kissed your stomach, letting his lips rest there for a couple of seconds before completely wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing the side of his face against you. He was like a child, looking for solace.

And so you reached your hand to his hair, running your fingers through it as you feel him pull you closer. You let your hand run down the back of his neck to his shoulders and back. He looked up at you with glassy eyes. You almost got worried when he suddenly gave you a small smile. Was he so happy that he started to tear up? You thought, feeling the warmth spread on your chest.

Without noticing, your hands gently moved from his shoulder blades to his face, cupping his cheeks as your traced his jaw. His eyes closed, leaning into your touch, holding your hand in place as he savored the feeling. When was the last time that you were this affectionate with him? He missed it so much that he almost felt like crying again.

All his questions and sentiments from earlier are now gone and replaced by the longing feeling in his chest. It has been so long that he almost forgot how good it felt to be held in your arms. This is what he’s been craving all this time. Before he ruined everything, this was how you touched him. He settled for someone else’s touch, having forgotten how loved he feels with you.

If you give up on getting what feels right for you, you’ll end up having to make do with what is available to you.

Realizing all of this now made Satoru think that he has had that “It’s not really what I want but it works.” moment in his life with Rie. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asked you, enveloping your hand in his. They were cold and you wouldn’t miss the slight tremble in his flesh. You don’t exactly know what happened but you got an idea of what he talked about with Suguru while drinking. You let your teeth dig in the skin of your lips as you bit it. Guilt and shame crawling up your throat. You feel bad about it, even more now that you can almost feel Satoru’s body begging to stay near you.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch. Please.” Satoru needs it. He needs to know that you’re with him. Even if not with your whole heart, Satoru needs to know that he’s not as helpless as he really feels when it comes to you. He needs to know that there’s still a little bit of hope that he could cling to.

“It’s fine.” You murmured, letting him kiss your knuckles as he whispered ‘thank you’s’ on them. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry, I’ll let Mama eat now. ” He spoke to your stomach again, making you laugh a little. You wanted to snap at him when he showed up at your door unannounced but all of that is gone now.

He stood up and sat on the chair letting you eat in comfortable silence as he softly spoke of his plans for your baby. It’s like he’s had it all thought out and listed. Even when you were still dating, you didn’t think that he’d be this excited. It made you wonder if everything could’ve been prevented had your pregnancy happened earlier in your relationship.

On the other hand, it made you scared; not for yourself but for your child. If you had your baby earlier and those events still happened, you wouldn’t know what to do. Would Satoru do that if he already had a kid with you? It made your guts churn as the stinging throb in your chest made it harder for you to swallow.

Time flew by, faster than it usually does. Maybe it’s because of Satoru’s head on your chest as his hand caressed your lower stomach, whispering gently to the growing life inside you. You didn’t have it in you to deny him or push him off. Not when you can hear all his pain in his voice. You know that your mother’s statements about your relationship with Satoru isn’t entirely impossible but you’re giving it your all not to spiral down again for the sake of your child.

When the morning came, you woke up to the smell coming from your kitchen. The sky looks kind as the rising sun shone a gentle light on your windows. You rubbed your eyes, wondering why Satoru’s up so early. You can’t even remember how you fell asleep last night. The last thing you remember was the warm touch of lips against your forehead, paired with the light touch of his hand on your tummy.

You were about to get up and wash your face when the door to your bedroom opened slowly. The creaking sound halted your movements as Satoru peeked in, smiling before letting himself in when he saw you awake. “I was going to ask you if you feel like having your breakfast here. I know you were not a fan of breakfasts in bed.” He chuckled, closing the door carefully before walking to you.

“Still not a fan of it.” You laughed as you stood up, stretching. Satoru pushed your hair back, away from your face. You sighed as you closed your eyes, your eyelids still heavy from your slumber. You heard Satoru chuckle, pulling you to him and letting you rest your head on his chest. It felt like all tthe tension from the other was just leaving your body today. You mentally thanked yourself for letting Satoru sleep over. The way his palm rubbed up and down your back soothed you. “Let’s go eat. This little bean is hungry.” You ushered, pulling him out of the room.

You spent your breakfast taking small glances at Satoru, occasionally catching him staring lovingly at you, something he never bothered to hide or deny whenever you ask him why. There was more than enough food for two people but you didn’t mind, given the increase in your appetite.

“Just leave the plates on the table. I’ll be washing them.” He spoke to you as he poured more milk in your glass. You hummed, thanking him as he passed it to you. Satoru changed a lot ever since he found out about your pregnancy. When he’s working, he texts you ever hour just to ask if you need anything. You remember how annoyed you were during the first few weeks. You still get annoyed sometimes but not right now when he’s literally serving you like a queen.

“You’ve been doing so much already. This is my house.” You spoke to him, setting down the half empty glass of milk in front of you. Satoru’s back is facing you as he washed the plates. His arms was on full display in his tank tops and you can’t help but notice how his muscles flexed everytime he moved. You took a deep breath, reminded yourself that it’s just because of pregnancy hormones and picked up your phone to distract yourself before he could he even glance back at you to answer.

“And that is my child. I’m not letting you do anything if I could do it for you.” His answer made you laugh. He wiped his hand as he completely turned to you, watching you throw your head back. Satoru wished that it would always be like this. He doesn’t care if you won’t give him answers to his questions, he just want you to be this happy even when he’s around.

“You got a point.” You drank the rest of the milk in your glass as he pulled the chair in front of you. “Let me get you a new place.” He spoke suddenly, making you look up from your phone. “It has to be more spacious than this one so the child can run around or play.” Satoru wanted to offer to buy a home for the three of you, but he doesn’t know how you’d react to that, considering that you only want him around for the baby.

“I can get one. I have savings.” You heard him sigh softly, pursing his lips as he shook his head. “I can’t let you do that.” Satoru got used to picking the words when talking to you. He understands that you’re very sensitive nowadays and he knows that he can’t afford to have you lashing out and locking him out of your apartment again.

“Why not? It’s fine by me. I’ll be living there too.” You tried to reason, surprisingly calmer than how Satoru thought you’d be. “You won’t let me sleep over?” Satoru tried lifting the mood a bit, the small smile in his lips caused you to smile too. “No. What if you bring your girlfriend? I don’t want her near my child.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him and now, it’s his turn to laugh at your little drama.

“Who said I’m getting a girlfriend?” He threw his head back like you just said the funniest joke on Earth. “It’s not impossible!” You defended yourself, letting a small frown take over your features as he leaned forward to watch your face before speaking again, “I’m determined about trying to make it work with you. I won’t get a girlfriend, Y/N.” There was a tone of assurance in his voice and for some reason it calmed you down.

“There’s no guarantee to that. What if someone comes along? There’s no way to stop yourself from falling for someone.” You talked more seriously to him, leaning back on your chair and thinking about how it would be if Satoru were to have someone in his life. You don’t like it. You don’t like how the thoughts are making you feel. Maybe it’s because you don’t want your child having to fight for his attention or maybe it’s because you don’t like the idea of your child spending time with Satoru’s new girlfriend instead of you.

What if your child becomes closer to them than you? There was an image of them walking away from you in your head and it felt like someone was squeezing your heart. You thought about how his new girlfriend could make your child feel like they were his whole, real and happy family. Then your child would probably feel like it’s better to be with them than alone with you and you don’t know if you could take that.

“Hey. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not going to happen.” Satoru’s hand felt warm against yours but you couldn’t help but snatch it away, furrowing your brows at him, truly annoyed this time. “I don’t care if it does, but my baby is mine.” You clenched your teeth before leaving the kitchen and slamming your bedroom door.

Satoru just sighed, finally used to how fast your mood can change. You’d probably come out later when you’re hungry and if you don’t Satoru’s already ready to prepare whatever your cravings to lure you out. A couple of minutes later, his phone started to ring and he was grateful that it was only Shoko. He doesn’t know how he’d talk to Suguru again after what happened.

“How’s Y/N?” Shoko immediately spoke when he answered, “I know about what happened yesterday. It’s not the best season to ask Y/N.” She quickly added and Satoru nodded like she could see him before answering, “I didn’t tell her, I won’t. Don’t worry about that. And she’s fine. She just walked out on me while we were having a conversation, probably thought herself into a bad mood again.”

“Thought herself into a bad mood? You just said that you were having a conversation. It must be something you said.” There was a hint of protectiveness in Shoko’s tone and Satoru bit his lip and closed his eyes. “We were talking about the possibility of me getting a girlfriend and I tried to assure her that I wouldn’t because I’m still hoping to work things out with her. Then, she probably thought about all the ways that it could affect the child and got angry.” He explained with a heavy sigh and a scratch on his head.

“That’s valid, though.” Shoko spoke from the other end and Satoru hummed, “Yeah, I understand. I just gotta think about how to put her mind at rest about those kinds of things.” He stood up to put away and wash the glass that you left on the table. After that, Satoru could only hum and agree to all the things that Shoko was advising him, knowing that it’s all for your good.

“I’ll drop by her apartment some time. My schedule’s kinda getting better. Tell her I said hi.” Shoko said before saying goodbye. Satoru could almost see her with a cigarette hanging between her lips from the way she sounded.

Satoru bit his upper lip as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He’s been thinking about going back to your mother’s office to apologize for all that has happened until now. He wants to let them know that he’s sure and resolute about getting you back again. He knows that your parents don’t trust him, but he’s determined to change that; not only through his words but also his actions. He wants to do all that he can just to prove it to you and to them.

_______________________________________

Two Weeks Later

“How many meetings do I have left for today?” Your mother asked her assistant as she struts out of the business partner’s building, completely ignoring all the greetings and bows that she was getting as she fixed her earring. “Three meetings, ma’am. I already moved the two from tomorrow afternoon to today, and the overseas meeting is the only one left for tomorrow.” The girl beside her spoke, making her nod as they walked past the glass doors to the car waiting for them.

“Good. It’s because I doubt we’d get back in time if the first one’s an overseas flight. The traffic sucks.” Your mother uttered as her secretary closed the car door. She has been worried about you ever since that day in her office. Her husband’s words only made her think about it more. She knows that she was harsh to you, but she’d never forgive herself if something happened to you or your child.

Your mother doesn’t like showing you how she really feels whenever you get yourself in trouble. She’d rather have you thinking that you have to pull your own tail if you mess up than thinking that you got someone to cover up for the mistakes that you make. You’re already independent, now she can see that you’re also trying to be responsible for your actions.

She was about to get her phone and send you a text just as the car started to move, but only a few shops away from the building that they just came out of, a familiar white hair caught her attention. “Slow down for a bit.” She commanded the driver who instantly obeyed, watching from the rearview mirror as your mother tried to get a clear view of the outside.

It’s Satoru, in front of an establishment, appearing to be waiting for someone as he typed away on his phone. Is he meeting with you? Friends? Maybe business matters. Your mother thought, leaning back, contemplating if she should tell her driver to keep moving or step out for a bit just to greet him. And of course, to ask about her daughter too. Your mother has already decided about greeting him when a girl rushed to Satoru, grabbing his arm as she stood close to him. Too close for comfort. Yet, he doesn’t seem fazed.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed at the sight. It was the girl that you went after in her office, the errand girl. She knew that she’s not just an interesting woman to you. And she’s definitely not just an acquaintance of Satoru. Not by the way he pulled her away from plain sight to a more hidden spot in between the buildings.

“Move the car forward a bit. Don’t let those two spot us.” Your mother spoke sternly to the driver, not taking his eyes away from Satoru who is now facing the woman again. It made your mother’s blood boil. Even with his back turned to your mother, she could see how the tip of the woman’s shoe is almost touching his and her hands still gripping his arm. Now, that is not how close you stand to your acquaintances.

She tried to search for her phone in her bag but she couldn’t afford to take her eyes away from the enraging scene in front of her. “Hey, you.” She hurriedly tapped her assistant’s shoulder multiple times, “Film it.” She ordered as she gave a bit of space for her. The girl quickly pulled out her phone and did her best to get a clear shot of the two.

There’s no way in hell that I’d let you fool my daughter again.

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pawified · 8 months

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omg had a thought abt joel ,, hve to get it out !

dad!joel miller & his daughter ( you ) , having a heart felt moment in the jackson hospital after he wakes up from the attack of abby & her friends ( minus the gunshot to his leg.)

you are sitting in the chair next to his bed, taking in the state he is currently in. He is taking small shallow breaths, his face is covered in bruises & cuts. you reach over to grab his hand, giving it a gentle but firm squeeze.

you close your eyes, letting out a shaky breath. “i’m sorry i didn’t get there in time, if i had m-, you stop drawling in a deep breath to stop yourself from breaking down. “if i had maybe you wouldn’t be here.” you stare down at your connected hands, thinking if you stare longer maybe your dad will magically wake up.

“i need you. i’m sorry being such a shitty daughter. i’m sorry for everything i’ve put us, you through.“ you let out a sob confessing all your wrongs, like that would bring him back.

you lean forward, head laying on the edge of your father’s bed still holding his hand. you started thinking back to when you were a little girl, long before the outbreak happened and your older sister, sarah was still alive.

you were never a daddy’s girl. funny enough you were an older sister girl, due to the fact your father was always constantly working late and sarah being 14 at the time, had to be the one to take care of you.

but that all changed when the world went to shit and ended, and your sister died. you were only 6 at the time and never really processed what happened fully once you were old enough to understand what death was.

Sarah’s death affected you and joel both tremendously, joel never allowed you to speak about your sister and that led too you never processing it. you and joel bumped heads alot. you would always question if he was making the right decisions for you, and he would tell you that every decision he was making was to keep you safe, and that was all that matters.

joel knew the choice he made when he decided to take ellie with you both, and he also knew that his decision that he made in the hospital the fireflys were going to kill ellie in was going to catch up with him, but joel gree attached to ellie and he couldn’t let her die.

joel toke a life, in order to give a life.

you were angry at your dad for being so reckless. you remember the argument you and him had when you found out what he actually done in the hospital.

you and him were standing in the kitchen of your house back in jackson, fresh tears rolling down your face as your father stood with with a expression you couldn’t read. “ HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME! I ASKED YOU WHAT HAPPENED AND YOU LIED!” you shouted. you were hurt, not because he lied but because you know how this will end for the both of you. for him.

joel takes a step towards you, he stops when he notices that you took a step back, “ i know. i know i lied, and i’m sorry but we can’t changed what happened” joel tried to reason with you but you were so fucking stubborn back then.

“ you risked everything, for a girl that isn’t even your daughter, you only think about yourself. did you know think about how i would feel? did you even stop to think about the consequences, you may face because of what you were about too do?” you questioned frustratedly, you walk past him, walking towards the front door looking over your shoulder “you and i both know how this ends and i refuse to watch someone i love die in front of me again.”

that was the last time you two ever talked before the events leading up too this.

you blamed ellie for everything that has happened to your father, you don’t know why. maybe because it was easier than anything else.

“if i could i would take it back, everything. all of it.” you spoke out loud too get no answer. you don’t know how long you layed there rambling out random things too your father.

you were talking about the time where you and sarah stole $60 bucks from him, when he questioned you two you both lied and said uncle tommy took it. “ yeah .. also remember that one time where u lost $60? well me and sarah lied and said it was uncle tommy took it when it was us.. “ you laughed softly.

as you said that you felt your dads hand twich. you stop and stare at him, in the hopes it was actually you that did that. this time he squeezes your hand, and coughs.

“you fucker.” his voice is horses and raw, “ i knew it was you two.” you jump up, “dad !” you wrap your arms around him and squeeze, “babygirl i can’t breathe” he chokes out. “right, sorry” you rush out apologetically, sitting back down in the chair.

joel looks over at you with a content look. it was the first time you two seen each other in weeks, joel has alot of regrets in his life, but the biggest one of them all is letting you walk out that front door.

you knew he wanted to say something but he couldn’t find the right words. you knew what he was trying to convey, you knew that he regretted ever letting you feel like he loved you less.

you reached over for his hand and gave a firm squeeze, a silent confirmation that you understood. He smiles gently, as he reachs over to kiss the top of your head.

there’s alot you two need to work on, but right now in the moment you are both thankful that you have each other again.

#˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆#໒ 𝑤𝑒𝑛’𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑠 ১ #joel miller x daughter!reader #HMM IDK BUT WEEE #the last of us #joel tlou #ellie williams #f!reader

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soobpricity · 5 months

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this love - kang taehyun

letter 6 ; i want your complications too, i want your dreary mondays. wrap your arms around me 🫂

synopsis: what happens when soccer player!kang taehyun, who isn’t focused on school but is smart enough to pass, sees yn walk in the hallways nearly everyday after homecoming. taehyun’s new hallway crush begins to grow into something bigger, but what happens when he has to make a choice between yn or continuing to fail school ? will taehyun be able to focus on sports, classes, and trying to win yn over ?

your took small little licks of the sweet, icy cold yet soft ice cream. a small smile applied onto your face as you practically beamed with happiness as the sugary treat entered your mouth. taehyun took bites of his ice cream cone, the waffle’s satisfying crunch as he bit into the cone. he witnessed your cute appreciation for the treat as you continued to eat the ice cream. his eyes beamed with joy, he put what was remaining of the ice cream cone into his mouth.

taehyun took a look at his phone, receiving notifications from twitter. even seeing a reply from you on the most recent tweet that he posted. he clicked on a notification from beomgyu, seeing his quote retweet.

“yn..” taehyun slowly spoke up, small hesitation in his voice. you turned your head, continuing to eat at the ice cream cone.

“yeah ?”

“how come… beomgyu looks after you so much ?” he straightforwardly asked, it wasn’t like it bothered him, of course not.. he knew that you and beomgyu were just friends, probably more than friends, and not in the romantic way. he truly felt like beomgyu was your older brother at times.

“beomgyu..? i don’t really know.. he’s never told me why exactly. y’know, there was a time in my life where not everyone really liked me, taehyun. not everyone was nearly as accepting as you have been… i think, one day.. he felt pity for me. i never told him that i believed that, he was my only friend, i didn’t want to scare him off..” you explained.

“well.. now you have more people to depend on.. you don’t have to go through things alone… but- why didn’t people like you..?” he felt odd asking, feeling as if maybe he was pushing his boundaries, but his mouth moved faster than his brain did.

“honestly… i have no idea. i think it has something to do with my family, our neighborhood isn’t that big taehyun, i’ve probably known your longer than you think i have.. when you live in a small town, a single mistake can ruin your entire family’s reputation. nearly all of my siblings left this place, so i wan the only one to face the repercussions of their mistakes.. they all came back once they felt like it was ‘safe’. i think that’s why- but I’m not 100% sure why people didn’t like me. it’s not like i used to socialize that much to make people upset a me.

what about you.. what was wrong with you and your friends today..?” you continued.

“they think i’m moving to fast..” he simply replied. trying to avoid the topic of nari and how she dumped him during his soccer game’s half time. he refused to talk to you about that, he was ashamed of the idea of bringing up his ex while the two of you were enjoying each other’s company.

“well.. do you think your moving too quick ?”

“with you.. no..? not at all, i think it seems that way.. but isn’t the whole point of relationships to listen your feelings and do what you believe is right ? as long as you feel comfortable with everything.. i think we’re moving at a really good pace.”

you stayed silent, not in a way to shun taehyun and his rant. but rather a comfortable silence, taehyun felt relaxed with you. he felt like he could spill any of his emotions and thoughts to you, and he was sure that you were bound to understand. you had proven yourself to be so much more understanding than his friends, and he loved that. he loved that he could tell you anything, he could get anything off of his chest, and he was sure that you would still be by his side.

taehyun tilted his head, you watched as he seemed to contemplate a few things. you finished your ice cream, wiping your hands on a brown napkin. he got up from the wooden bench where the two of you had sat to enjoy the ice cream cones, taehyun pulled out his hand. you looked at his hands and then your eyes led towards his face. a tiny smile on his face, as you took his hand, getting up from the bench.

“how long until you have to go home ?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“mmm- keep me out as long as you need, it’s better if i get home as late as possible.” you grinned, although your statement ended up making taehyun feel a bit sad for you. his heart ached at the thought of you purposely wanting to go home as late as you can because of your family.

taehyun kept a safe hold on your hand, he felt unnaturally warm. he felt like his heart was melting, at this rate he wasn’t sure if he’d make it throughout the day. his eyes stayed focused on the sidewalk, ensuring that the two of you were going exactly where he wanted the two of you to go. he was sure to keep you on the inside of the sidewalk.

he turned to take a few looks at you, his mind becoming corrupted in innocent little thoughts, his eyes becoming distracted by your reddish lips. he feels himself becoming a bit too distracted, bringing his focus back to the destination that he had in mind. he knew you would love the place that he was guiding you towards.

“tyun… where are we headed ?” you asked, knowing completely well that he wasn’t going to spill any of his secrets or surprises. but you still attempted to ask. in reality, the destination was only a few minutes away, like a block away.. but taehyun was having a bit too much fun walking with you while holding your hand. plus, it wasn’t like you really cared that taehyun was procrastinating on taking you home, in fact it just benefited the both of you.

“we’re going somewhere, promise that you’ll like it… don’t you trust me ?” and in all honesty, taehyun’s heart was still pounding like crazy after you gave him a nickname. and yeah, he had many people call him ‘tyun’ like soobin and yeonjun, but something was different when it fell off of your tongue.

“… i-.. i do. i trust you.” you hesitated, not fully believing your statement. you trusted him in this situation, but with the general question ‘do you trust me ?’ you couldn’t say that you did. but taehyun hadn’t done anything to prove otherwise, so far. there was also something in your gut that was telling you to trust the boy, something about him made you feel his sincerity, like he truly wanted to love you.

he turned the corner, as you followed behind. your eyes landed on a greenhouse. the amount of times that you had explored the town and you had never noticed the small greenhouse that was filled with a variety of flowers. taehyun led you inside the garden, it was rather spacious. taehyun closed the glass door behind him, watching as you admired the flowers that stayed safe from the cold breeze outside of the greenhouse.

you paused in front of the red roses, crouching in front of the flowers. plucking one from its stem, touching its soft rosy petals. eyes appreciating the form of life, a smile was brought to your face. eyes full of admiration and love for the flower.

“do y’know what a red rose means ?” you ask, turning your head towards taehyun, tilting your head to one side, bringing the rose close to your lips, smelling the scent that came off of the rose. petals slightly grazing your lips. taehyun came to crouch down across from you, the red rose filling the gap between the two of you. the sun creeping into the greenhouse, the sun shining on taehyun’s face, making his skin glow. the sunlight highlighting his lips, pink lips looking nearly kissable.

“of course i do.. love and passion.” he whispered, holding the rose with two fingers as you still kept your hold on it, but taehyun slowly let go. his hands still being held out. as you used your free hand to move his hands around the rose. he held it close to his chest, the two of you looked at each other. hearts pounding, taehyun kept one hand around the rose as he placed a hand on your chin. attempting to move you closer to him, his breath hitched, as so did yours. your eyes stayed on his lips, moving between his eyes and lips. you knew that maybe you should’ve stopped this from happening, but at the same time.. you wanted it so badly.

taehyun brought the rose up to your ear, as it stayed there, safely holding itself in place. your face moved closer to taehyun’s, beginning to feel a bit desperate for whatever he had in stock. your hands balanced yourself, holding onto taehyun’s button up as the two of you were still in your school uniform. you attempted to move him closer towards you. you felt his sweet lips graze against yours.

however,

you eventually felt a wet drop on your arm, followed by multiple drops. startling you, causing you to fall back. taehyun took your hand, preventing your fall from being worse than it could’ve been. he picked up the rose that fell out from its spot above your ear.

“you okay ?” taehyun asked, genuinely worried even though your fall wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. sitting still as the sprinklers continued to spray the water to hydrate the flowers.

“heh- i’m all good.” you giggled, smile displayed all over your face. a rosy blush on the both of your faces. still in disbelief that the two of you nearly kissed, and if it wasn’t for the damn sprinklers, then you would’ve been perfectly happy.

taehyun stood up, pulling out his hand for you. as you accepted his hand, reaching out for his hand. your hair progressively getting wetter as so did your clothing. the two of you ran out of the greenhouse, laughter and chuckles exiting your mouths. as soon as kang taehyun got the two of you out of the greenhouse, he took off his jacket.

he placed his jacket around you, as it hung from your shoulders. the rosy blush that had once left was now returning as you stood shyly in front of taehyun. he ruffled your wet strands a bit, getting out any leaves and dirt from your hair.

“you really do take great care of me, taehyun.”

“how can i not, you’re too pretty for me to just abandon you.. promise i’ll treat you better than they’ve treated you.” taehyun spoke, you knew exactly who ‘they’ is.. your family, past bullies and others who have treated you terribly. you couldn’t help but let out a toothy grin.

“first get me to the bus stop and then you can make me swoon.”

©️soobpricity

this love taglist : @run2seob @soobadooba @soobnuuy @pockychuwu @crazynyctophilia @rencarnationofangel @esther-kpopstan @mrsyawnzzn @matcha-binz @michinri @hanstarrs @ariam-96 @pinkheadflowers @kittyhyuka @run4gyu

an: sorry for not posting, i had midterms and finals… i also got a bit distracted by my demon and sweet home season 2 !!! ahhh song kang is literally filling my mind up 24/7 !! it’s definitely his year for acting !! n e way.. how do we feel about this ??

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nametakensff · 4 months

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Mistletoe Mishap (S/teddie)

Ignore the cheesy title and enjoy 4.4k of mutual fetish AU S/teddie smut lol

S/teve and E/ddie are decorating the H/arrington household in preparation for a Christmas party when E/ddie has a ~mysterious~ allergy attack

~~~~~~

Content:

M/M, established relationship (four years deep), both S/teve and E/ddie have the fetish, E/ddie gets off to his own sneezing, allergy sneezing, handjobs, spray, a little tiny mention of mess, descriptions of a pretty intense allergic reaction, sneezing on someone's face, sneezing on someone's neck, teasing, nose rubbing

CW: graphic descriptions of cum, E/ddie is a particularly demanding tease in this one

~~~~~~

NSFW, minors please DNI!

“You know, I don’t understand why they don’t sell the place. Or just give it to you.” Eddie stated, pushing the front door to the Harrington residence closed behind him. “It’s not like they’re ever here. Seems like a waste of prime real estate.”

Steve shrugged, setting the last of the cardboard boxes they’d brought with them on the floor and crouching down over it.

“I’ve long given up on trying to understand my parents, Eds. Doesn’t matter, right? Comes in handy at times like this.”

He ripped the tape off the box and opened it wide, smiling as Eddie’s curls brushed the side of his face, the older man leaning precariously over his shoulder.

“You didn’t need to buy so many new decorations, hon. It’s just the kids. They don’t care.”

“Hmm.” Steve ran his hand over the assortment of tinsel, baubles and other Christmassy items, pleased to see they were completely intact even after he and Eddie had dropped this box in the parking lot earlier.

“Maybe they don’t care, but I do. It’s their last Christmas in high school, Munson. I want it to be nice for them. It might even be the last Christmas all of them spend together. They’ll go to college – they’re smart kids – and they might not even come back for the holidays.”

Even as he said it, Steve’s heart gave an unpleasant little flutter of what he supposed was preemptive grief. After everything they’d been through in this insane town – all the life and death situations they’d managed to pull through - these kids meant the world to him. They were eighteen years old – well, some of them – and he could hardly believe how much they’d grown before his eyes. He had been content living with Eddie in their small apartment and going about their everyday life in Hawkins, but change was in the air. Not only were the kids about 6 or so months away from graduation, he and Eddie had been discussing their own potential move. It should be exciting, and for the most part it was, but he was also a little terrified.

He felt Eddie’s hand squeezing his shoulder gently, turned his head to look up into his boyfriend’s face. He knew that look well, one of total fondness and adoration, and found himself smiling back up at him.

“Okay, Stevie. Let’s make it extra pretty for ‘em, huh?” He straightened up and made his way round Steve to open another box. “All I meant was they’ll be happy no matter what you do. The fuckers love you, man.”

Steve smiled again, feeling a little too sensitive and knowing if he said anything at all his voice would be thick with emotion. He nodded and took a second for the lump in his throat to recede before starting up into a series of instructions for their decoration game plan.

~~~~~~

“Okay.” Steve stood with his hands on his hips, feeling exhilarated as he glanced round at their handiwork. Despite how long it had taken them - mostly because of Eddie and his absolute inability to focus on the task at hand without either teasing Steve, fighting Steve or holding various decorations in front of his crotch and pretending they were his penis - it had turned out just great. In Steve’s opinion, it had been worth breaking the bank a little for the pomp and circumstance of it all.

“Looks great, baby.” He was grinning, the satisfaction of a job well done leaving him proud and happy.

“Fucking finally.” Eddie grumbled from his position on the hallway carpet, sprawled out on his back like a recalcitrant starfish.

Steve smirked at him before climbing on top of him and straddling his waist, planting his hands at the side of the older man’s head, careful to avoid the trailing brown curls that spread haphazardly around them.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Eddie deadpanned, but Steve felt him reach up to grip his waist gently.

“I am.” Steve admitted before pressing several small kisses over Eddie’s cheeks, eyebrows, nose. He was delighted to hear his boyfriend giggle sweetly in response. It was so fucking cute that Steve had to kiss him immediately, and Eddie, a sucker for him as always, elevated the kiss from soft and tender to deep and nasty in mere seconds.

After several more minutes of moaning and groping on the hallway floor, Steve figured they may as well be celebrating their successful decoration efforts in the comfort of an actual bed. He pulled back from the kiss, laughing as Eddie followed him as far as he could from his prone position before flopping back down.

“You better tell me the only reason you’re stopping is to haul my ass up to your bedroom, pretty boy.” Breathless and giddy, he massaged Steve’s ass with his wandering hands.

“Read my mind, baby. Let’s go.” Steve stood and pulled Eddie up alongside him with a strong arm. The metalhead flounced past him, already halfway up the stairs when Steve noticed one final box, unopened and forgotten towards the end of the hall. They must have missed that one in the maelstrom of hanging and pinning and arranging that had followed.

“Eddie, wait.” Steve started, pacing towards the box.

“What, what now?” Eddie groaned, turning around on the steps to peer down at Steve. His erection continued to stubbornly strain against the fabric of his worn black jeans.

“We missed a box.” Steve said, picked it up when he found it to be somewhat lighter than the others, and held it up towards Eddie.

“Are you serious, Steve?? It’s been hours, we’ve already worked like Santa’s god damn elves on cocaine and the house looks like Christmas vomited all over it – just put the damn thing down and let me suck your cock already!”

Steve, frankly, found the whole diatribe incredibly amusing – the only thing more amusing than Eddie’s rant was the look of utter indignation on his face when Steve outright laughed at him.

“Ooh, you piss me off.” Eddie stomped his way down the stairs, strode up to his still-laughing boyfriend and yanked the box from his hands. “If we finish with this last little box, can we go upstairs and fuck each other’s brains out for the remainder of this fine December evening?”

“Sure.” Steve smirked, enjoying his boyfriend’s sexual frustration and trademark impatience immensely.

With that confirmed, Eddie redoubled his efforts, practically tearing at the box as he crouched haphazardly beside it. Ripping it open, he paused for a second, tilting his head like a curious puppy as he took in the contents.

“Leaves…?”

Steve’s brows furrowed; he leaned forward, following his boyfriend’s gaze downwards. Suddenly, it clicked.

“Mistletoe.” He snapped a forefinger and thumb together. “Sorry hon, I totally forgot. Won’t take us long to hang a couple of these up.”

“Huh. Do you really need this much of it for the children, though? Are we advocating for teen pregnancy in this household?” Eddie joked, dangling a sprig dramatically over the two of them. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Please. Being members of Hellfire is contraception enough.”

“Wow. Fuck you, I guess?”

Steve chuckled, snatched the sprig from Eddie and held it above them as the metalhead had just moments before. He slipped one strong arm around Eddie’s slim waist and pulled him closer, until their fronts were flush.

“Sorry, baby. Kiss and make up?”

Any faux offense on Eddie’s part was quickly diminished as the older man smiled and leaned into Steve’s embrace. All too quickly his hands were roaming over Steve’s body, squeezing his ass, dragging his nails down Steve’s back hard enough he could feel it through the cotton of his polo shirt. They both moaned into the kiss, all tongues and heavy breathing, and for a moment Steve lost himself in it.

It didn’t last long, however. Steve felt his boyfriend tense, standing rigid in his embrace. He barely had a second of recognition at the sharp inhale Eddie took in through his nose before the metalhead was pulling away just a moment too late, catching Steve’s jaw with the light aerosol of his first sneeze. The older man choked out a breathy apology before sucking in another inhale and proceeding to sneeze fittishly against the column of Steve’s throat, trembling and gripping the fabric of his shirt as though holding on for dear life.

“Hh-HH’ENGXT’Tchieww!! NDd’tshieww!! ‘Tshieww!! Ihkg’tchieww!! HAH!! DDZZSCH’Uuuu!! Ohh…”

Steve felt his entire body blooming with heat at the arousal that pulsed through him. He never tired of this, felt just as overwhelmed and ruined by every sneeze that graced his heated skin as he ever had. He held Eddie upright as he shuddered, stroking one broad hand down the expanse of his back as best he could whilst still clutching the mistletoe between thumb and forefinger. He kissed into Eddie’s curls and willed his hips not to buck against the thigh his boyfriend had slid between his own.

“God bless you, sweetheart.”

Eddie pulled back, sniffly and watery-eyed, offering Steve a sheepish, crooked smile as he shook a few stray hairs back from his face.

“Whew, sorry, Stevie. That came out of nowhere.” He snuffled a little louder, and Steve was transfixed at the wonderful flare of those oh-so expressive nostrils as he did so. Eddie swiped gently at the dampened skin of Steve’s throat with the cuff of one long sleeve. “Had a tickle.”

Steve moaned softly, smiled at the pleased grin that whimper of arousal pulled out of Eddie.

“You okay, Eds?” He asked, still stroking Eddie’s back softly.

“I’m just dandy, honey. Great, actually. That felt fucking incredible.” He punctuated the statement with another sniffle, even more liquid sounding than the others, and pressed a soft kiss against the side of Steve’s mouth.

Whether he was embellishing the experience for Steve’s benefit or whether those sneezes really had gotten him worked up – either way, Steve could feel the older man’s erection, harder than before and digging into his hip. He groaned, gripping Eddie’s shoulder with one hand and using the other to cup his ass, forcing their hips together and grinding against Eddie’s thigh, inviting his boyfriend to do the same.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He muttered against Eddie’s plush lips before capturing them in another intense kiss.

It was much of the same for a bit – grinding and gasping and moaning and kissing, gripping each other with desperate, wandering hands. Steve replayed the sound of every tickly little sneeze Eddie had graced him with minutes earlier, the sensation of the spray as it arced across his neck. He hadn’t been exaggerating; he really did feel like he was going to die when they worked together like this, like the emotions and the sensations were simply too much for his body to handle and he would shatter into a million pieces. He loved every second of it.

Eddie tensed again, just as before, but this time Steve was ready for it. He groaned into his boyfriend’s mouth, rolled his hips against him, squeezed his ass for all he was worth. The metalhead pulled back with one final frantic breath sucked in through twitching, flaring nostrils, fingers scrabbling to find purchase on Steve’s back, and sneezed violently between them.

“H’ohh goddDDDISSSSHH’IEwww!! hHDT’TISShhuuu!! IGXShhh!! HIG’TCHIeww!! Hh-HH-!”

He seemed to pause for a moment, and Steve would have perhaps mistaken this for the end of his fit had he not the perfect view of his crumpled expression – eyes overflowing with irritated tears, nostrils flared to capacity, tongue pressing firmly against his bottom lip as his jaw hung open. He was a picturesque portrait of ticklish misery, and Steve wanted a better view. He released his grip on Eddie’s ass to instead replace that hand in a firm but gentle grip on the older man’s chin, tenderly tilting back his head from his slightly ducked position so that he was facing Steve directly. Eddie didn’t protest, allowed Steve to do as he would, seemingly more preoccupied with allowing the tickle to crest inside his aggravated nose. It looked like such a tease; the naked look of desperation on his face was driving Steve wild.

What was maybe a few seconds felt like an eternity as Steve wished he could freeze them in this painfully erotic moment forever – Eddie, held right on the precipice of a sneeze and Steve ready and waiting to receive it. One final, dramatic tick of his nostrils, however, and Eddie finally reached his peak, rocking forward against Steve as it overpowered him.

“AEGGKKk’KSHIEWWwww!! eEHDT’TCHIewww!! HEH’TCHIEWWWw!! ‘TSCHH’Iieww! Hh…”

Steve’s eyes closed reflexively with every sneeze that burst across his face, cock throbbing and pulsing in his jeans as he took in the rich vocal sound of them, the desperate, almost pained expression on his boyfriend’s face, the feeling of his trembling against him. Yeah, he was never, ever getting tired of this.

“Hholy shit…” Eddie muttered, sounding utterly drained. Steve didn’t blame him; the sneezes, whilst not as large as his own, had sounded incredibly intense. Eddie sagged weakly against him, the weight of his head heavy against Steve’s hand. The younger man released his chin from the grip and swiped a thumb under his boyfriend’s dripping nose, finally pinching a little string of mess away from his septum before wiping it subtly away on his own jean-clad thigh. With slightly less subtlety he raised the collar of his shirt to quickly wipe his face clean.

“Bless you, baby. My god.” Steve laughed breathily, elated and giddy and absolutely overflowing with adoration. “You doing okay? Those were some serious sneezes.”

“Yeah. God. They really didn’t fuck around, huh?” Eddie sniffled, releasing the death grip he was maintaining on the back of Steve’s shirt to lift a crooked finger to rub at his tickly nostrils, quickly switching to all but mashing his nose back and forth with his palm when the gentle rubbing did nothing to alleviate the itch. He used the knuckle of the same hand to scrub at his eyes, which Steve noticed were looking suddenly all too pink. He frowned a little, pulling Eddie’s hand away by the wrist, ignoring the gentle whine of protest.

“Itches.” Eddie muttered, blinking as another pair of tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I know. I think you’re having an allergic reaction, Munson. And a fast one, at that.”

“Yeah, I am. Shit.” He sniffled again, twitching his pink nostrils, and Steve had to force himself to focus on the matter at hand and not the fact that he could feel his heartbeat in his dick.

“Any idea what might have triggered it? You poor thing…” Steve murmured, hoping he sounded as empathetic as he was ragingly horny.

“Ugh. Maybe dust from the carpet? I was down there for a little while, I guess.”

Steve frowned.

“But you’re not normally this irritated that fast? Unless it’s, like, a lot of dust?”

Eddie shrugged, squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at his nose frantically again, a series of wet clicking noises sounding out as he did so.

“I don’t know, man. Fuck, I’m so itchy,” He whined, using the heel of his palm to press up against a leaky eye, ignoring Steve’s attempts to swat it away.

Steve glanced around the room, looking for anything that might be the culprit. No flowers that weren’t fake, no cleaning products left out in the open; the house was maybe a little dusty, granted it had been unoccupied for months at this point, but his parents still paid for a maid to semi-regularly come and maintain it, so it wouldn’t be enough to make Eddie this allergic. At a loss, he turned his head back to his boyfriend and opened his mouth to offer some sympathetic encouragement or other before he froze in his tracks.

He was resting one hand on Eddie’s shoulder – the same hand that still clutched a sprig of fresh mistletoe.

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever been around mistletoe before?”

“Sure? Kids used to hang that shit all over school around Christmas.”

“But that stuff was plastic, no?”

“Well, yeah, but…?”

“Eddie.”

“Mm?”

“I think you’re allergic to mistletoe. Real mistletoe.”

“…Oh. Ohhhh.” Recognition dawned on Eddie’s face, and Steve nodded back at him as they locked eyes.

“You only started to sneeze once we opened that box. I got it at the store when you were grabbing an extra box of fairy lights for me.”

“Well, shit.” Eddie giggled, even as mashed his nose against his palm again. Steve lowered the hand holding the sprig to his side.

“I’m sorry.” He offered, really meaning it and feeling horribly guilty for taking such enjoyment in what looked like a pretty intense allergic reaction.

“C’mon, Stevie, no sorries. We don’t even know it’s that stuff for sure – s’probably still just the dust. Delayed reaction, or something.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow at that. Telling himself it was merely a matter of necessary experimentation and not because his cock was drooling in his pants at the thought of a repeat performance, he lifted the sprig up and held it directly under his boyfriend’s nose. Despite so confidently reassuring Steve the mistletoe was of no concern, the metalhead jerked his head back slightly at the sudden proximity of the offending plant.

“Sorry, sorry – just, sniff this for me? I want to be sure.” Steve tried gently, handling his boyfriend as one might attempt to soothe a skittish horse.

Eddie, stubborn as ever, rolled his eyes.

“I’m telling you, Harrington, even if it made me sneeze a little, that’s hardly a big deal for yours truly. It’ll be the dust that’s gotten me like this.”

He sniffed obediently all the same. His reaction was almost instantaneous and explosive as could be, actually causing Steve to jump a little as he sneezed violently all over the sprig, Steve’s hand and even dousing his forearm in a sudden cloud of spray.

“EESHHHHhhh’uuu!!”

Steve dropped the sprig immediately, groaning as his cock jumped in his pants at the throaty sound of his boyfriend’s desperate release.

“Bless you, you stubborn bastard. Oh, my poor allergic baby.” He crooned, kissing at another stray tear that rolled down Eddie’s cheek and wrapping his arms around him in support as the metalhead built up to yet another fit. The older man’s chest jumped rhythmically against Steve’s own, and with shaking arms he wrapped himself around Steve in return, resting his chin over his shoulder and slotting his thigh even more securely between Steve’s, as if anchoring himself in position to allow for the sneezes to overpower him.

“Fuck, Mm’gonna-!”

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.”

Steve had barely finished speaking by the time Eddie launched into his fit, notably stronger than before after getting a direct noseful of the offending allergen. Steve held him close, keeping the pair of them upright as his boyfriend gasped and rocked and strained. He bit his lip, willing himself not to go off in his pants as each sneeze seemed to travel though the both of them.

“HeHH-TSSSCH-TSSSSCH-‘DTTSZ’SHieww!! hHH-!! ‘GTSCH’IEWW!! EhHDT’TSHHIEwww!! ENGXT’TCHuuu!! Hh, HH!! IIIESHHHH’IEWW!!! Hohh…”

Steve listened to Eddie snuffle as he hung limply in his embrace, stroking his back reassuringly and whispering sweet litanies of praise and blessings into his boyfriend’s ear.

“Bless you, honey. You did so good, really got that tickle out of your poor little nose.”

“Mmff…” Eddie responded, dragging his drippy, twitching nostrils over the junction where Steve’s neck met his shoulder and rubbing them into his skin. Steve shivered at the wet sensation, continuing to support his boyfriend’s weight whilst holding himself rigid, forcing himself not to rut his cock against Eddie’s thigh and orgasm when he should be offering comfort. He swallowed and breathed out a shaky little laugh.

“Thought I knew everything about you at this point, but I guess not.”

He felt Eddie kiss him softly through the fabric of his shirt.

“Doesn’t count if I didn’t know it either.” The metalhead muttered, sounding so incredibly wiped out Steve’s chest blossomed with affection. “Not exactly off brand for me, this shocking revelation.”

Steve chuckled softly, the sound quickly morphing into a strangled groan as Eddie suddenly muffled a string of poorly suppressed sneezes into his shoulder, shaking the both of them again.

“HhNGGXT’Tsziew!! MMP’TChhh!! Ehh’NGXT!! NGK’Tieww!!”

“Fuck, Eddie, bless you.” Steve squirmed in place, squeezing his thighs tight around Eddie’s.

Eddie sighed, an almost orgasmic exhalation of air that made Steve shudder again, before lifting his head and pulling back, allowing Steve get a thorough look at his face. The younger man’s heart (and cock) throbbed to see just how much those sneezes had overpowered his boyfriend. Eddie’s eyes were bloodshot and leaking an almost continuous stream of allergic tears; his nose was reddened and slightly swollen; his full lips pink and moist with the aftermath of the intense sneezing he’d been subjected to. But he was smiling, and Steve hadn’t been with him for going on four years now to not recognise the heated look of arousal plastered onto his face. As if to reinforce his deductions, Eddie ground his own cock, almost as hard as Steve’s, against the younger man’s thigh.

“Thank you, angel. God, that felt so good. Did you like it?” He murmured, leaning forward to rub his nose against Steve’s. The younger man could feel how damp those flaring nostrils were against his own, so warm and soft. He answered with a moan in lieu of anything even remotely intelligent. Eddie seemed happy either way.

“Bless me.” He rubbed his nose against Steve’s just a little harder. “My nose is so tickly.”

“Eddie-!” Steve moaned, feeling completely dumbstruck as his boyfriend nuzzled against him, voice low and seductive, each word elevating him closer and closer to orgasm. He wanted to throw Eddie on the ground and fuck him stupid, but he also didn’t want this wonderful teasing to stop.

Suddenly, he felt the distinct sensation of his zipper being pulled down, and gasped at the feeling of Eddie’s calloused fingers pulling his cock out of his underwear. It pulsed and drooled a new stream of pre-cum all over that warm, familiar grip.

“You want this, baby?” Eddie half-whispered against his lips.

“W-we should…go upstairs, fuckk…” Steve managed, even as his eyes rolled shut at the minute movement of Eddie gently rolling the foreskin back from his cock head. “I can…hold back…!”

“But I want you here, Stevie. And you? Holding back now that I’ve got my hand on your cock? That is a fucking lie.” Eddie grinned, offering a small closed-mouth laugh as Steve moaned against his lips again.

“Fine,” Steve gasped as Eddie’s hand, slick with the result of his own wetness, started to pull at him. “But I can’t get jizz on this carpet. Gonna have to cum all over you instead.”

It was Eddie’s turn to moan, and Steve’s eyes squeezed shut at the sound of it, so ragged and breathless he almost came on the spot. He looked down between them as his boyfriend used his free hand to bundle up the hem of his Motorhead shirt and hold it to the tip of his cock.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Harrington.” Eddie nipped at his lips. “All ready for you.”

Steve whimpered, fucking into Eddie’s grip as the stroking resumed, so good, so good, and then Eddie was sniffling into his ear and he was coming in waves, the pleasure spreading out from his pulsing cock right down to his toes, curling them in his sneakers. It was quick and dirty and felt fucking amazing – Eddie jerked him throughout as Steve gripped his shoulders to stay upright, moaning at last once his voice returned to him.

“God,” he sighed with a definitive jerk of his hips into the makeshift cover Eddie held patiently against his spitting cock. He watched as his boyfriend pulled back, the two of them taking in the impressive deluge of cum that stained the black fabric before Eddie used a clean section of shirt to lovingly wipe his cock head clean, giving it a gentle squeeze as he went.

“Feeling better, big boy?” Eddie kissed his cheek, gently moving Steve’s hands off his shoulders once it seemed he could stand on his own. He used his newfound freedom to pull the ruined shirt over his head, careful not to get any mess on himself. He scrubbed a cum-free section over his dripping face for a moment before balling it up and dropping it gently on the floor with a dorky, quiet ‘Sorry, Lemmy.’

“Yeah. Fuckkkk.” Steve breathed out, pulling Eddie into him in a crushing hug, breathing in the smell of his shampoo and running his hands up the bare skin of his back. Eddie patted the small of his back softly in return.

“Love the way you cum. So sexy.” He sighed next to Steve’s ear. Steve could still feel Eddie’s own erection, harder than ever, pressing into his hip. He danced his fingers up Eddie’s spine, humming in satisfaction as he felt his boyfriend shiver and break out in a trail of sensitive goosebumps at the touch.

“Let’s go upstairs now.” He pulled back and reached for Eddie’s hand, feeling his boyfriend grip him back immediately. “Gonna fuck you ‘til you scream.”

“You know that’s all I ever want to hear.” Eddie flashed him a crooked smile, going easily as Steve started to pull him upstairs. Steve felt him hesitate, however, after just a few steps.

“What about the mistletoe, Stevie? Don’t you want to hang it up?”

Steve shook his head, all but yanked his giggling boyfriend a step higher.

“Can’t put that shit up now, and you know it. Cheeky bastard.”

“One second.” Eddie shook his hand free of Steve’s and ran down the stairs towards the box of mistletoe, rummaging for a second with his head angled as far away from the box as possible before extracting a sprig and holding it out in the air beside him.

“Eddie-“ Steve started as his boyfriend bolted up the stairs towards him, keeping the mistletoe at arm’s length.

“C’mon, Stevie, it’s just a little one. We can leave it next to the bed, I promise I’ll be fine.”

Steve must have looked visibly worried, because Eddie pouted up at him and tilted his head coquettishly.

“Where’s your Christmas cheer?” He simpered.

Steve couldn’t deny the prospect was incredibly tempting. One glance at Eddie’s huge doe eyes as they pleaded mischievously with him was all he needed for any further protests to die in his throat.

“Fine. But you’re taking an antihistamine first, you demon.”

Eddie smirked at him, all lidded eyes and long eyelashes.

“Yes, sir!”

+++++

((Just a few notes - I'm pretty sure mistletoe allergies aren't a thing but I don't care because it's hot lol.

Also for anyone who is even a little invested in this AU, I hope it shows that Steve is more comfortable discussing fetish related things this far into their relationship compared to earlier on when he would stutter over everything!))

#s/tranger t/hings #nametakenfic #sneeze fic #snz fucker #snz kink #sneeze kink #snz fet #sneeze fucker #snzblr

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inconsistentlywrittensoul · 7 days

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I’m way behind on posting about my rewatch - there’s plenty I do want to say about S2, and there’s a whole essay about gender and Phases that I’m probably never going to write - but I’m into Season 3 and I really want to note how much early S3 establishes the issues that are going to drive Buffy’s long breakdown in seasons 6 and 7.

Firstly, Buffy's tendency to pull away from her friends, feeling she has to take care of everything for herself and protect them from her problems and her feelings rather than sharing them. It’s a consistent pattern, and we see it in her running away at the end of Season 2, and continually refusing to talk about what happened with Angel with both the Scoobies and Faith. When she eventually does try to talk to her assigned school counsellor about Angel, she explicitly says she can’t talk to anyone else about what’s happening (only to find him dead, which I’m sure didn’t help).

Of course, this isn’t just a flaw of Buffy’s - her friends have a pretty big role to play, especially Xander. His sanctimonious, judgemental whining about Buffy leaving, as well as anything to do with Angel, does a lot to push Buffy away. (Not to mention the first thing he does when he finds out Angel is back is try to manipulate Faith into murdering him.) It’s also hard not to suspect that Xander’s lie back in Becoming did a lot of damage - because of that, Buffy thinks even Willow hates Angel and wouldn’t understand her continued feelings for him. ‘Kick his ass’ made Buffy feel like literally no-one is on her side.

Regardless of the reason, here we see the beginning of the split that will make Buffy feel increasingly isolated and unable to trust or rely on anyone as the series continues into the depression years, especially Season 6. But we also see the start of a pattern that will become a central flaw in Season 7 - her inability to express empathy or care for anyone who she sees as a reflection of herself.

I’m actually not talking about Faith here - that’s related, but it’s also a whole can of lesbian worms I don’t want to get into right now. But aside from Faith, in the first few episodes of Season 3 there are two girls who mirror Buffy, specifically in her relationship with Angel. In Anne, we have Lily/Anne, who’s wants to spend the rest of her life with her older boyfriend, who has a criminal past and seems a little crappy but also genuinely loves her and is trying to be good to her, and who ends up being sent to hell. Then in Beauty and the Beasts, we see Abby, who started dating a guy who seemed nice at first, but who turned out to be an abusive monster. Both are very obvious parallels to Buffy in her relationship with Angel (in soul-having and soulless forms), and serve as ways for her reflect on that relationship.

But what I want to focus on is the fact that, while Buffy does try to help both girls, she’s also unusually harsh and unempathetic towards them. Her attitude is ‘This is how things are, and you need to set aside your emotions and just deal with it immediately and without emotional support’; it reflects how she treats herself, but it’s also a pattern in how she treats people whose challenges reflect hers. Which will come to a head in how she treats the Potential slayers in season 7, and the way she alienates everyone around her in part through her treatment of them (and therefore also her treatment of herself).

It’s just interesting to see these issues that will dominate the last couple of seasons come across so strongly in this early part of Season 3.

#my apologies #i've been terribly lax in my posting duties #will try to post more (energy permitting)#and i'll try not to hate on Xander #but by early season 3 I'm really understanding where the Xander hate comes from #it's not him at his best #btvs #Buffy the Vampire Slayer #btvs rewatch #btvs s3 #btvs s6 #btvs s7 #meta #Buffy Summers #Xander Harris #Anne #Beauty and the Beasts

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oathkeeperoxas · 8 months

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TOP GUN / Icemav fic recs part 6

Hello there! I am back with more icemav fic recs

Rec list 1 here

Rec list 2 here

Rec list 3 here

Rec list 4 here

Rec list 5 here

after chasing sunsets by @keroujack

Ice wasn’t totally sure whose idea it was. The party down at the beach to celebrate the last term of 1989. The way he figured, it didn’t really matter. Whose idea it was. All that mattered was that he got an invite. A quick, “Hey, Ice. Bonfire down at the beach later. BYOB,” while Dodger and Cobra passed him in the hall on a Friday morning in mid-November and an easy “You going to the party later?” while Mav was between sharp bites of an apple during lunch that same afternoon.

This is so soft and good, I love it when characters share clothes and what it reveals about them in the sharing - and this fic did not disappoint!

where the sea meets the sand by @gohoubi

Maverick and Iceman spend a summer's day on a private beach.

This fic is so sweet and good, I love the flirting and cuddling and how very, very fond of each other Mav and Ice are here 🥺

Hazard Pay by @icemankazansky

Maverick has a stressful day coming up at work, and Ice helps him deal with his nerves.

One of the icemav fics of all time!! Mav tying Ice up is just soooo very good, and the author does it so well here

green eyes, red face by ironicpanicattack

The next day, when Mav wakes up sweaty, with his stomach panging and his emotions on an absolute hair-trigger, he figures he has to get it out of the way. “I’m not nice,” he says, curled up around Ice like a limpet. “When I get into it.” “You’re not nice the rest of the time, either,” Ice says, teasing. “You’re so funny, Kazansky,” Mav says. “A real comedian.” - Or: the first time that Mav shares his heat with Ice.

This is the only omega!Mav fic that I've ever read that has felt in character to me, so sharing to spread the love 💖

I'll pull you up and push you right by @icemav86

“Hey, Ice?” He looks over as he gets Ice’s attention and asks quietly, “It’s ok for me to hear you. In bed. You know that, right?” Or, Maverick sets out to help Ice find his voice.

I did cry, good reader, I did cry. Mav's patience and understanding and how they work together to find a way to move forward in a way that suits them both... I am emotional about it.

Blackberry Pie by @topgunreacts

After the Layton, Maverick returned to TOPGUN. Two weeks later, so did Ice.

I very much adore how Ice and Mav met each other half way in this. The pie!!! Having big feelings about it. Love that for them.

You've Got A Face With A View by @brendaonao3

"Just let me do this, alright." Mav's gaze softened, but he stayed wrapped firmly around Ice's body. "See yourself through my eyes, and let me objectify my hot ass husband." (Or: Mav shows Ice how much he loves Ice's body just the way it is)

Mav is sipping his loving Ice juice, and it is FULLY on display here. Established and older icemav are such a fav for me, and this delivered with the weight of all that history between them!

it's just you and me now by silas705

Ice takes Maverick for a flight

I really enjoyed all the plane facts throughout this - it's obvious that the author really is a pilot. It really adds to the story and characters super nicely!

Mr. Blue Sky by omnidirectional

Tragedy first brings Iceman into Bradley’s life, but he quickly becomes the steadiest presence of the boy’s childhood… until a betrayal tears their small family apart. After years of silence, can Bradley find the words to make up for lost time? Five times Ice sings to Bradley, and the one time Bradley sings to Ice.

A phenomenal read that I would truly recommend to anyone interested in Ice and Bradley's relationship, as it's the true star of the show here. It also has a sequel which I equally recommend.

#icemav #top gun #rec list #fic rec #maverick #iceman #so many good fics and excellent authors... i love eating well

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 10 months

Text

Love Song for a Vampire Pt. 34

Pairing(s):Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Jacob Black x Witch!OC

Warnings: none

Words: 2300

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39

You can hear the obvious deep words shared between Sam and the elders. Even as the others light-heartedly joked around with Dieufel and Nadege (who had turned back into her human shape), you were too concerned with what was going on on the porch. You try your best to train your ears on anything you could catch. Evita had slowly strolled in at some point but she'd noticed your face screwed up in concentration. She closes her eyes and attempts to listen as well.

"They're worried you guys are going to attract more vampires. Or. . . something worse." You murmur so you didn't disturb the others. Even Paul and Jared were distracted by Nadege conjuring large bubbles that float all the way up to the ceiling before popping. It made the younger wolves laugh; thoroughly entertained.

Evita's round face is calm. "They're right to be worried. That's the thing about magic. It attracts other beings, good and bad. Especially their family's magic. The wards will help but until we get all of them into position there will be vulnerable gaps." Her warm hand is soothing against your shoulder when she regards your agitated expression. "Don't be discouraged.

"This all seems like way too much for me." You quietly admit. "Too much for the others as well. Sam and Dieufel are nearly the same age. We're all so young." War. Jesus, that was what everyone was facing. Your pack had been lucky in the fight with Victoria and her newborns, but against all of the vampires of the Volturi? Not even the help of the Denali coven could make much of a difference.

You catch Eryld Ren's disgruntled voice bleed from the front of the house, as did the others in the kitchen you stall their conversation. The eyes of your packmates look to one another with concern as they strain their human ears to listen in on the conversation. Dieufel and Nadege, while trying to not look like they were eavesdropping, pick at spots on their attire here and there. This was technically a pack matter and you knew if the elders were aware of the witches listening in that they would be none too happy.

"Just because you're alpha doesn't make you free to do as you please!" The older voice bellowed out. You can hear tones coming quietly from the other elders but they're zipped shut by Eryld who is on the war path. "This is something that should have been discussed with us! You've brought these strangers and their magic into our land. Do you even know what you're doing? I swear young people these days don't think!"

Sam's voice in comparison to Eryld's is in a low, calm manner where no one in the kitchen was able to hear what he was saying. He knew how to best handle the elders and their old fashioned ways. And while he may have not been an actual elder on the tribe committee, he did have quite the sway. Especially if it was in regards to the safety of Forks and La Push. He was the one who led us. He still had a say in supernatural matters, things that the elders couldn't really understand for not even they had the honor of calling themselves wolf warriors even in their prime. They'd never felt the exhilaration of shredding out of your soft and vulnerable human flesh to a body that was made of muscle and strength. They had met no other vampires besides the golden eyed Cullens who were a far cry from the vampire norm. Never had the elders had to pray for their life while evading a bite from a red eyed newborn. How could they understand the quick thinking necessary in a situation like that? To you, it was the elders that had no right in barging in on pack business. The witches included that. Sam deeming them trustworthy should have been enough.

A wordless exchange occurs between Evita and Dieufel, her bright eyes in contrast to the dark depths of his. Dieufel takes a breath and passes by the two of you to go out into the living room and address the loud voices of the elders. The rest of you peek out your heads and watch with bated breath as confident Dieufel saunters across the small living room. Sam feels his presence and turns halfway. Both of them stood near the same height and most likely were around the same age. There's a wash of relief at Dieufel's intervening figure. He's grateful to have backup that Jared nor Paul could offer against the elders. An outsider.

"Hello gentlemen." Dieufel eloquently introduces himself with a small bow that has the older men's eyes rounding in surprise. He must look the sight to them as he did dress in exotically bright colors. He adds in a softer exhale "Thank you for having me on your lands. You're apprehensive of the threat we may bring in. My cousin and I have traveled far to help you though. We mean no harm whether intentional or otherwise. If we bring anything that's not of goodness, then we promise to deal with it ourselves. We understand the threat everyone faces in the local town. In honor of our Letizia, we want to help."

"He can charm a snake out of it's den, that one." Nadege quietly snickers against Evita's shoulder.

The rest of the conversation was continued with hushed voices so that everyone in the kitchen was huddled tightly around the door. Seth, Colin and Brady shove to make room for themselves since their hearing wasn't as good as the older members. Paul shushes them when they bicker amongst one another in the process. That quiets them down although you still catch a few hisses of 'move' or 'stop leaning on me'.

With tempers calmed in the front, nothing more could be heard from the men and eventually everyone's back grows sore from stretching out of the kitchen as far as they could without being detected. You stand up and stretch as does Embry and Paul.

"Well, sounds like these have been handled." muses Paul and returns to raiding the fridge for a small snack.

Evita happily nods. "Dieufel has always been the peace keeper."

Nadege leaps back onto the kitchen counter, her long legs stretched in front of her and kick gently. "Oh yes. He's the oldest among all of our cousins and always the one in charge of watching us. With eight squabbling cousins, he learned quickly how to make us calm."

"Is it your entire family that can shape shift?" Brady asks with stars in his eyes, not just for the prospect but also because of Nadege's charm. He's leaning against the small kitchen table that's pressed up to the window.

She nods, her lovely braids moving as she did so. "Yes. Our whole family has been able to turn into birds for as long as any of our relatives could remember. As long as we keep up with our practice, we can keep our bird forms. Once we get older though we can't shape shift. Our anman manman still misses her wings." Her voice grew quiet at that like she's remembering her grandmother who could no longer take to the sky as she'd done in her youth.

Their shape shifting power was much different from the wolves. As long as you kept transforming, it stalled the aging process and one could live much longer than an ordinary human. Sam had told you that when you voiced your worries about Edward. While imprinting tied your souls together, you were still moderately human. Edward could live for centuries but many wolves chose to stop shape shifting in order to age with their human partners. To soothe your worries of you growing old and dying before Edward, he'd told you that as long as you transformed, your aging would be delayed.

"Anman manman doesn't mind too much." Came Dieufel's voice from the entrance of the kitchen with Sam. Everyone had missed the sound of the front door closing and the start of car engines coming to life. "She's traveled more of the world than we have."

Paul straightens up. "Well what was the verdict?"

The light mood that had encapsulated those present suddenly dried up.

Sam sighs and props his large body up against the doorframe as Dieufel joins his cousin on the countertop. "Definitely not happy from being kept in the dark but whether they like it or not, the witches can stay. They want them gone though as soon as the wards are up."

You frown and counter with "But what if something happens to one of the wards? And what if we don't know if they're working yet?" You'd definitely felt a lot safer with Evita there. There was something about her magic that soothed your anxiety and any other negative feelings that ate away at you.

Sensing your distress, Evita puts a hand on your shoulder to comfort your so that Sam can reply. "I'll talk to Billy. He can put more sense into those guys than even I can. For now, we all need to get to work and help them however we can."

"Well, lets not waste precious daylight." Nadege hops off with ease. "Lets get started!"

Yes, no more talking. There was much work to be done for the three witches as they began to pilfer the cabinets for useable tools or ingredients. Evita said many household spices and such could be used and whatever she had left from her recent trip to Port Angeles. More river stones would need to be collected but Brady and Colin were more than happy to escort Nadege out to the forest along with the watchful eyes of Paul who knew that they'd probably be more underfoot than of help due to their puppy love with her. The rest of us were left to Sam's house as we rearranged the furniture in the living room once more like it was a couple of days ago. Those who hadn't been present during Sam's spat with the elders were most likely on patrol. It was just you, Sam, Evita, Embry and Dieufel who prepped the living room.

The knock at the door came as a surprise to everyone since you were so engaged with the task at hand. Sam, being the host, stands tall from where he'd been helping Dieufel move the couch flush against the neighboring wall. His long strides got him to the door in seconds. He opened it to find a nervous Bella Swan already chewing at her bottom lip. At the sight of Sam, she lets go of her lip and attempts to stand straighter in his presence.

"Hey Sam." her voice is quiet but you can tell she's trying her best to be brave in front of your intimidating alpha who towered over her with ease.

"Ah, the witch in training." Sam teases causing Bella's brows to arch in confusion to his words.

Quickly you and Evita shove Sam unceremoniously out of the way. "Bella! It's good to see you." You hastily greet her since Sam didn't. Excitedly you push Evita forward. "Evita, Bella. Bella, Evita."

You'd never seen the expression of pure awe on Bella's face before. Not like that. Her usually pale face had a glow to it when she looked upon Evita. Even knowing that Evita was Jacob's imprintee did not dampen the introduction. "I-It's nice to meet you." She holds out her hand for a shake which Evita eagerly grabs.

"Igualmente.. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say hello the first time you saw me."

Bella shakes her head. "No it's alright. You literally had your hands full." Her blush is dark and noticeable on her cheeks as she's trying her best not to stutter in front of her. "What you were doing. . . I can't stop thinking about it."

With her hand still holding Bella's, Evita brings her inside and sits her down on the newly moved couch. Bella's eyes catch Dieufel who watches with interest along with Sam. Evita follows her eyeline and says something to Dieufel in her native tongue. In response, Dieufel rolls his eyes and nudges Sam with his arm. "She wants us to leave. Says we're making the girl uncomfortable."

Bella's ears go red. "No, I-"

Sam just chuckles and shakes his head. "It's okay." He addresses the other male in the room. "Lets go see how the others are doing. I can show you through the forest if it will help you."

They go out through the kitchen's back door leaving the three of you alone. It was better like this. Too many people might have Bella even more nervous.

Evita doesn't waste time as we have little to spare. She goes to tell Bella what she had told yourself and Sam about her potential to wield magic. She explains what she had sensed during her crafting of the first ward, how she'd felt Bella the moment she entered the room. Even Bella breathlessly told Evita of what she had felt watching the witch in that moment. It had been an eye opening experience for Bella. One she couldn't push from her mind. She wanted to feel that way again. You'd give Bella credit to how easily she accepted this news.

"Now it won't be easy." Evita confesses, gauging Bella's face. "Since you did not grow up learning and using it. But if you work hard enough, you'll be able to at least meet a beginner's tier. Enough to learn how to make a ward."

Bella turns to you, confidence shining on her face. Confidence suited her. "I can do it."

You and Evita smile. And so Bella's training began.

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#edward cullen #edward cullen fanfic #edward cullen fanfiction #edward cullen x reader #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction #twilight #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #twilight fandom #fanfiction

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aiko0invalid · 8 months

Text

|Older|

Genre: Fluff/Slow burn

TW:Cursing/Suggestive/Bl00d

Au:Non-idol/Vampire/Strangers to lovers

Additional info: Reader is Female and a human while Minho is a Vampire. Reader is visiting family during the holidays and encounters Minho throughout her stay an oddly amount of times. Stray Kids are a clan of Vampires. Mentions of Hyunlix.

Next: ->>

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Ch.1

“I’m leaving now, I’ll be there in a few hours. Yes Umma, I packed enough warm clothes.” You were currently on the phone with your mother as she frantically told you what to pack and asking when you were arriving.

After moving across country to attend University in Seoul, leaving your family up in the mountains, it has become very important for you to take things like holiday break off and spend time with your parents and little sister.

“I’ll call you when I get into town, but I have to go or else I’ll be there even later.” You reminded her, quickly saying your goodbyes so you could load up your car and drive the most grueling 5 hour drive of your life. It was worth it though, anything is worth it when you get to see your family.

You were on the road in no time, taking quick stops to get gas or buy a few snacks but after 5 hours you finally made it to the familiar cabin you grew up in.

You got inside quickly, escaping the cold and entering the warm house as you saw your little sister and dad on the couch. "Appa! Soomin!" You said, getting their attention with your voice.

Soomin, your little sister who was only 14, jumped up and ran over to hug you. Since you guys had such a big age gape there wasn't that much sibling rivalry between you two and the relationship is super sweet.

You also didn’t have to worry about clothes, makeup and skincare products suddenly disappearing since by the time you moved out the house, she was only 6.

And now you're 26, fresh out of medical school/ college and currently looking for a job. That being said, that isn't the only thing your mom has pestered you about. The topic of love has come up many times and each time you've replied that between studying and self-love your life is too hectic to add someone else to the mix.

Thankfully she's on the more understanding side and had dropped the conversation after a few failed attempts of asking about how your love life was going.

“Umma is making some tea right now.” Soomin explained while picking up one of your smaller bags. “The room is still the same.”

After you moved out of the house the room that used to be yours was the guest room but after Soomin got older and wanted a bigger room they switched them. So technically the guest room is Soomin’s old room and not yours.

“Thank you.” You said quickly as you followed Soomin upstairs despite knowing full well where the room was.

It was nicely decorated, on the more minimalistic side but that was fine with you. Soomin left quickly so you could get yourself situated and that’s what you did for the next 20 minutes.

You took out your clothes, curler and/or straightener, hair products, makeup, and many more stuff. You filled the dresser with your clothes and that’s when you heard your mom from downstairs.

“Soomin! Y/n!” She called out, yelling for them to come to the kitchen since the tea was ready.

You quickly made your way downstairs, Soomin and your mom already there as your dad stayed in the living room. He wasn’t a big fan of tea. “So, How have you been lately?” Your mom asked after sliding over a cup of tea towards you.

You shrugged your shoulders, picking the cup up for a sip. “Nothing interesting lately, I sent in some job applications but haven’t gotten any words back yet.”

Your mom understood that well, knowing it took time to find a job fresh out of university. “It’s good you’re atleast trying.” She said before standing up. “I know you just got here but, do you have anything in mind for what you’d want for dinner?” She asked as you smiled and shook your head.

“It’s ok Umma, really.” You tried to convince her but, as if you were straight out of a cartoon, your stomach growled and your mom looked at you with an ‘really?’ Look and signature hand on her hip.

“You know what, Jjigae sounds good!” You said, remembering the warm and hearty Korean stew that your mother was always good at making. “Ohh! That’s sounds good!” Your sister said immediately, looking up at your guys mom. “Appa wouldn’t mind having that either, you know he doesn’t care as long as there are soft boiled eggs too.” She added which made your mom nod in agreement.

“Great! I’ll start making that.” She smiled and turned around to grab all the ingredients out of the fridge. She brought out the meat, they recently gotte pork belly so that’s what they were going to use. Along with veggies before she paused. “Oh no…” she dragged out, grabbing a mostly gone tube of soybean paste.

“Aish, I’ll head to the store to grab some more.” She sighed but you’d topped her. “It’s ok Umma, the store isn’t far away, I’ll go get it and you can cut up the vegetables and meat so it’s ready to go when I come back.”

“Are you sure?” She asked ever though she was already grabbing her apron and tying it around her. “Yes, I’m sure.” You reassured her and she smiled more. “Ok! Thank you!”

You nodded and quickly went to the door to slip on your shoes, grabbing your coat again and keys before going to your car.

The store wasn’t busy, thankfully, but it was rearranged differently than you remembered and you were having a hard time find the soybean paste. “They had it with the broth last time…” you muttered to yourself as your eyes scanned the shelf’s of canned chicken and beef broth.

“They moved it to the fridge section.” A voice said, scaring you since you hadn’t heard footsteps behind you.

You turned around to find a young man, dark brown almost black hair, equally as dark eyes and blank stare face. His cheekbones were high and he had a deep cupids bow with a plush upper and bottom lip. ‘How can someone be so… perfect..?’ You thought to yourself in awe.

He, after seeing your wide eyes, quickly flashed a smile. “Sorry, I heard you talking to yourself and thought I could help.” He explained, making you sigh a bit in relief.

“It’s ok, your hearing is amazing by the way!” You noted, a bit shocked he was able to hear your quiet muttering. “Been told that before.” He grinned, one laced with mischief and smugness. “You’re looking for soybean paste right? I only know because it used to be here.”

You nodded with a small smile of your own. “Yeah, you said fridge section? Is it by the butter?” You questioned and he nodded his head. You knew if you stayed any longer you would inevitably blush if you’re not already.“Thank you.” You said before walking off to get the small tube quickly.

“Can you go to the library with your sister? She usually goes alone but since you’re here I would feel better if she was with an adult.” Your mom asked while tying her hair up.

She approached you as you were sitting on the couch and you smiled up at her. “Sure! To double check, they didn’t move that too did they?”

You asked in a joking yet serious tone. After the grocery store, you had wanted to go to the strip mall, only to find it’s location moved and demolished. It also just so happened that the local ice skating rink also moved spots!

You were beginning to think the town was just going to get up and leave too.

“Yes, same place it’s always been”. Your mom chuckled and you stood up while stretching. “Ok, I’ll go drive her now.” You said as she took your spot on the couch next to your dad.

“Drive safe then!” She smiled and waved as you and your sister got into your car. “Since when did you go to the library?” You asked as soon as you guys buckled in. “I don’t.” Your sister smirked.

“Wanna know where I actually go?”

“Soomin, where do you even get the money from?” You asked, parking right in the town center where there were lots of shops open for business. It looked straight out of a hallmark movie.

“I do people’s work for cash, the longer I know them the less they pay me. Which means they recommend me to their friends and I always get new clients! I’m currently doing all of my 4th period classmates work.” She smiled smugly and you chuckled.

“Hustling for money at the ripe age of 14, maybe you are my sister.” You joked, messing up her hair with your hand before getting out of the car. “I won’t rat you out to mom but that doesn’t mean you get to drag me around today. If we spend more than 2 hours here Mom will get suspicious.”

Soomin nodded in agreement, closing the car door before jogging up to you with a big smile. “That’s fine! You haven’t been here in forever, let me show you around!”

It was close to the time you guys were about to leave when you entered an actual book shop. “I know I said I don’t like books, but I need one to read for English so I can write a report on it.” Soomin explained, leaving your side immediately to go to the fantasy shelves.

You went to your own way, roaming the fiction side a bit. You were in the dark romance section before bumping into someone. “I am so sorry!” You apologized quickly, turning around to see a blonde slightly shorter male there.

Damn, had there always been this many gorgeous people?

“It’s all good, I didn’t see you either.” He said, his voice way deeper and richer than you expected. You couldn’t help but blush and turn to look away. “Sorry if this seems nosy, but are you new?” He asked before you could fully turn away.

“Not really, I grew up here but moved a few years ago for school. I’m visiting family this week.” You explained and he nodded. “Ahh, understood. My family and I moved here a few years ago so that must be why I didn’t recognize you.”

You nodded also and couldn’t help but glance down at the book he had in his hand. “Vampire story?” You guessed, seeing the fangs on the cover as they hovered above a rose in a glass case. He smiled instantly and nodded.

“Yeah! I don’t do much reading but my boyfriend has been pestering me a bit, says that gaming for too long hurts my eyesight.” He rolled his eyes as he explained and you laughed softly at the sass. “He’s not wrong, blue light actually makes it harder for you to sleep also. Doctors recommend that people don’t use any electronics 2 hours before bed if they want to fall right asleep. Otherwise you’ll just be staying awake for the whole night.”

He blinked a bit, processing your information with surprise. “Wow, you sounded like a doctor yourself!” He chuckled which made you blush in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I study medicine so I tend to info dump whenever the topic of health comes up.” You explained which only made him laugh more.

“I get it, my boyfriend is that same when it comes to art. Like painting and drawing.” He reassured you. You were about to say something else when his head snapped to look at his right.

“Hey hyung!” He smiled brightly as a guy came around the corner where you two stood. “Ready to go home, Felix?” The guy asked and that’s when you recognized him. His familiar monotone but lively voice triggering a blush to dust across your face.

It was the guy from the store, he was now in black jeans, gray V-neck tshirt and a black & white plaid jacket. He had regular white sneakers and black ball cap that made his dark drown hair almost cover his eyes.

“Awh, already?” Felix pouted before sighing and nodding his head. “Bye, hope to see you around.” He grinned before walking up to the guys side. “I’m ready Minho-Hyung.”

They left quickly, not giving you a chance to say bye before the bell above the door rang and they began walking on the brick sidewalk.

It was a strange swirling feeling in your stomach at the sight of the man who you now know as Minho. It made you stare off in space for a bit as your mind raced with him. Was him and Felix related? It would make sense, they were both stunning human beings. Almost too stunning to be human.

The town was small, but was it small enough to run into someone twice in tow days back to back? Maybe, it had been awhile since you had been here. “Uhm, earth to Smile McGee.” The voice of Soomin said, pulling you out of your trance.

You blinked a few times, the brain fog clearing and you smacked her shoulder. “I told you to stop using that dumb nickname.” You hissed, remembering the times you used to have braces and when you had a few friends over they teased you with that nickname.

She was only 4 at the time but seemed to remember it like it was yesterday.

She mumbled an “ouch” and gave you a small glare. “Anyways, I’m ready to go.” She said, holding up a hefty sized book. “Maybe you are a nerd.” You mumbled, eyeing the huge book before shrugging and buying the book for her.

“Who was that by the way?” Soomin asked once you guys exited the bookstore. “Who?” You rebutted and she rolled her eyes. “That guy you were talking to, the blonde haired one.”

“Ohh.” You said, nodding before shrugging your shoulders. “His name is Felix apparently, I don’t know him personally though.” You explained and it was her turn to nod her head.

“And that other guy?” You felt the same swirling feeling in the pit of your stomach as she referred to the other guy. “Minho, I actually ran into him yesterday at the store. I only just now learned his name.”

Soomin hummed in thought before looking up at you with a smirk. “He’d make a good boyfriend~.” She said, bumping her hip with yours as you shook your head in disagreement.

“No way, I just got Umma to stop pestering me about dating; you can’t start.” You lightly scolded her as she just ignored you. “He was handsome though, you can’t deny that. Both of them were.”

You grumbled slightly, looking off to the side so you wouldn’t have to verbally agree with her. She knew she was right, the proof was the guy’s themselves.

Felix had a softer and more happy vibe with him, a golden brown eye color and blonde hair cut in the style of a mullet. He had many silver rings adorning his fingers and piercings on his ears.

He was dressed in a black turtle neck, dark blue jeans and a mocha brown fluffy jacket. His style was different from Minho, along with his appearance.

While Felix had freckles and slightly bigger eyes, Minho had not one mark on his clear and slightly tan skin. He had two silver mini hoops on one ear while three mini silver hoops on the other ear.

His outfit was a bit more casual compared to Felix’s but his stunning and sharp face made up for that.

“Whatever.” You grumbled back at your sister, sighing a bit as you both made it back to your car.

Safe to say, you stayed up a bit longer than usual with thoughts of a certain dark eyed boy.

╚»★«╝

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#lee know #lee know x reader #lee minho #stray kids #skz #skz fanfic #bang chan skz #lee know skz #changbin skz #hyunjin skz #han jisung skz #felix skz #seungmin skz #i.n skz #vampire #ch.1 #chapter 1 #Spotify

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cryptid-called-ash · 3 months

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Soul eater headcanons because it’s 1:30am and I have insomnia (mostly the trio)

Reapers have two names. The first is their title (ie lord death and death the kid). The second is their true/personal name, one only to be shared with family and the closest of friends. Kid’s name is Eros, lord death’s is Orcus. Only Liz, Patty, and eventually Blackstar know Kid’s true name.

Reapers have a unique language called Archayk, which sounds like an odd mix of Japanese, old Gaelic, and French.

Crona is Afab nonbinary and asexual. They bond with Kid over their mutual lack of understanding gender norms and sexuality.

Crona has an ouroboros mark in the centre of their back because Medusa branded them as a child. When the gang find out, they go out of their way to help them feel better about it. Patty tells Crona how cool it looks, Soul saying he wants a tattoo like that, Blackstar comparing the mark to his star, Maka telling them all the interesting lore about ouroboros she knows. In time, Crona comes to see the mark not as symbol of Medusa’s control, but as a loving connection to their friends.

Kid lived in the death room for the first 6 years of his life, practically glued to his father’s side and speaking exclusively Archayk. He moved into gallows manor when he turned 7 and would live there alone until he partners up with the Thompson sisters.

Liz can’t cook for shit and patty is banned from ever setting foot in the kitchen, so Kid does all the cooking at gallows manor. And he’s pretty good at it too. It’s one of the things he learned to keep himself occupied growing up. He would beg Spirit to bring new ingredients when he would make his weekly check-ins.

As he didn’t have any real contact with people outside of Spirit, Marie, and his father; Kid picked up a lot of skills to pass the time. On the tamer side were skills like learning to play the piano and the harp, calligraphy work, embroidery and needle work, drawing, and (as mentioned above) cooking. On the more eccentric side were skills such as dueling and fencing, learning dead languages, gymnastics, throwing knives, studying both current and historical politics, and apothecary’s remedies.

Speaking of Marie, she tutored Kid before he enrolled in the DWMA. she is one of the very few humans able to speak the reaper language and so was able to teach Kid before he learned how to speak human languages.

Maka’s mother has a twin sister who is a witch, though Maka and her mother are not. However she chose a path of kindness and actively try and spread good through the world, in hopes that one day other witches will do the same.

Maka moved in with Soul after her parents divorce. They had been partners for a year at that point and Soul wanted to help his meister any way he could. Maka cried when he suggested she move in with him, hugging him for the first time. That’s when Soul started falling for her.

After Kid becomes a full-fledged reaper, it takes nearly 2 months for him to adjust to the name change. He’d been death the kid for most of his life, so suddenly being called lord death was a big change. It takes Soul and Maka even longer to stop calling him Kid. Blackstar outright refuses to call him lord, so he gives him the nickname Prince. And though he’d never admit it out loud, Kid loves it. Liz and Patty also don’t call him lord death, instead simply electing the call him brother in public and Eros in private.

At first Liz and Patty slept in their own room when they came to live at gallows. but after a particularly hard mission, the trio all slept in Kid’s room. Not long after they all just silently agreed that they would continue to stay in the his room together.

Liz is two years older than Kid and Kid is two years older than Patty. Soul and Maka are the same age. Tsubaki is a year older than Blackstar.

Liz loves to dress her little siblings and taught them both how to properly apply makeup. She especially loves getting them all matching dresses or shirts and wearing them together.

Tsubaki’s favourite tea is lemon and hibiscus with a teaspoon of honey mixed in.

Though they can’t speak it, the sisters can understand Archayk well enough to know what Kid is saying when he speaks it.

Blackstar becomes Kid’s right hand man when he ascends his father’s title. Blackstar is known as ‘The Shadow of Death’.

Kid’s sanzu lines don’t all close at the same time, rather they close one by one over the span of 2 years. The process is referred to as a coronation. The first line closes the night Asura is woken by Medusa, when kid is 14; the second closes when he’s 15 and he rejects the power of madness promised by Eibon, choosing his friends and sisters over his own desire for perfection; the third closes after Lord Death fights Asura for the final time and chooses to pass his power and title onto his heir, leaving Kid the lord of death at just 16 years old.

Liz and Patty are called ‘Death’s Angels’ after becoming Kid’s death scythes.

Soul has a bad knee from a car accident when he was a child. It usually doesn’t hurt very much, but when it flares up he can hardly walk. He wears a knee brace all the time and uses a cane during flare ups. The cane is covered in stickers the gang put on it.

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ash5monster01 · 7 months

Text

Truths of Our Past Part 4

Pairing: Older!Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: 18+, smut, mentions of nudity, mentions of suicide, depression, depressing thoughts, past trauma, facing trauma, romance, understanding, fluff.

Summary: You had met Charlie in University, were married shortly after, and had become accustomed to a beautiful life together. When you receive a wedding invitation to one of Charlie’s previous classmates weddings you discover that Charlie had a dark past, one he had been trying to forget. In the midst of it all you try to help him through it while finding out that he’s not the guy you thought you married at all. Maybe he’s even better.

word count: 2.6k

Part 3 ←→ Part 5

Masterlist

10/6/69

Day 4/8

Wednesday was the first and only day of the trip that they didn’t have anything planned for the wedding. Charlie had decided after his conversation with Knox that he was going to use this free time to show you Vermont. Really show you and reminisce about his past here. He was eager and ready to share that with you. So when he woke before you he couldn’t help but smile, rolling over to press a soft kiss to your bare shoulder. Slowly he kissed his way up your neck, lips softly grazing your skin. You couldn’t help but smile as he woke you up, his warm breath tickling against your neck.

“Mhmm now that’s a way to wake up” you hummed in delight, slim fingers curling up into his hair as he probably worked on a spot for too long. You couldn’t risk any marks before the wedding but the delicious way his lips curled around your neck made you not really care.

“You’re so beautiful in the morning, I couldn’t help myself” he hummed and you just smiled, rolling onto your back to face him, his messy hair so handsome.

“So this isn’t you sucking up?” you asked, hands closing around his face and he sighed, turning to press a kiss to one of your hands.

“Only a little bit because, as always, my wife was right” he finally said and you smiled, leaning up to meet his lips in a soft kiss. Charlie being Charlie only deepened it, devouring you like you were the only meal on earth he wanted.

“We can’t do this here baby” you told him as he now began to explore your neck in a hungrier way. He already had to strap of your night gown slipped down your shoulder.

“Of course we can, Chris is pro us making a baby” Charlie teased and you could only chuckle, trying not to cave but the way his lips were moving against your neck was pulling sounds from you that you couldn’t entirely repress.

“Just to be clear, this is so not makeup sex” you told him and he chuckled against your neck, now removing the other strap and slipping the silk fabric down your body.

“No it’s just really good, morning, vacation, sex” he told you breathily, ready to get to work and show you how much he loves you.

“Whatever you say Char” you told him with a giggle before kissing him back as eagerly as he was kissing you.

After your quick bedroom rendezvous you both got ready to explore Vermont. You had been around obviously but not on a full blown tour where Charlie told you the history of places, if him and the poets ever went there, and you had never been to Welton. Charlie never dared to go so you vowed to stay back with him. Clearly that was unavoidable for the both of you now and you were way too excited to see it. Especially just the two of you so he could share moments, reminisce at his own pace, and you be included for it all.

The drive itself there was beautiful but you knew Charlie probably struggled with it, having spent this drive knowing his parents were dumping him at a place for majority of the year every time they came. So you kept it to yourself as you watched the leaves fall from the trees, birds fly through the air, and approached the beautifully crafted metal gates at the front. The building itself was gorgeous but you knew Charlie would always view it as some sort of prison. At least that was what you thought until you heard a low chuckle fall from his lips.

“What?” you pried, a playful smile on your face from wanting to know what he was thinking.

“Knox got his head stuck in the fence once” and then Charlie was full blown laughing and it brought a laugh to fall from your own lips as well.

“You’re kidding?” you asked as he parked by the front of the school, it silent from students being in classes.

“I wish I was” he said, still trying to fight the smile from his face. Yet he promised himself to reminisce about the good times here, not about the bad.

“Tell me how?” you asked giddily, sliding across the seat to sit beside him.

“Me, him, and Neil had all been paired up to read the Great Gatsby and do a presentation on it. We were probably thirteen and Knox would not let us take a break, he was enjoying the book too much and we had been reading for hours. So I told him I’d rather stick my head in the fence than do anymore homework, and he thought I was being serious” you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips as you thought of gullible Knox thinking Charlie was being serious.

“When Neil realized he thought I was serious he played it up hard, he was a good actor then too. He kept going on and on about how we had been looking forward to that fence all day and Knox was keeping us from it and Knox didn’t want to be left out. So we grabbed our coats and went to the fence. Neil told him to go first since he was our guest and I died when he actually shoved his head through” you covered your mouth with your hand as you belly laughed beside your husband who laughed at the pure memory of it.

“And he got stuck?” you questioned between giggles, tears almost falling from your eyes.

“Oh yeah, I was laughing to hard and Neil shot into serious mode in seconds. It was under ten minutes we had Dr Hager outside with a stick of butter trying to slide him free” Charlie concluded his story, a wide smile on his face as you continued to laugh at his story. That’s what it should always be like visiting this place, happy.

“Oh poor sweet Knox, and he’s still just a gullible” you told him once your laughs calmed down and Charlie grinned before popping open his door.

“Come on, let’s show you the rest of the place” he smirked and you put your hand in his own as you both slid out his side of the car.

The halls were silent when you got in but the architecture itself was breathtaking and you were shocked to think Charlie lived here for so many of his formative years. You both had avoided the lecture hall, not wanting to interrupt classes but it gave you the privacy for the rest of the tour. You had seen everything from the dining hall to communal rooms, to the hall where the wedding reception would take place. Charlie shared stories about them all, how they used to try and eat with their non dominant hand, when Knox had first told them about Chris, and how him and the boys had spent hours trying to move the heavy tables for the wedding. He didn’t act shy about sharing anything at all until you climbed the stairs to the boys dorms.

“So this is where the magic happens?” you joked in order to ease his nerves and he offered a small chuckle in return.

“No the magic happens at the old Indian Cave, here..” and then he paused, like he was waiting for the right words to somehow describe this place for him. “Here is where we just got be kids.

And then your heart clenched for him because being at Welton took a lot of way from just being a carefree and happy kid with dreams. Dreams and hope for the future. The fact that the dorms was the only place in the whole school Charlie could feel comfortable being his age was heartbreaking in a sense. So you knew not to say anything, to just lace your fingers through his own and let him guide you through the hall that he felt most comfortable in. He pointed out dorms of some boys you knew and some you didn’t. Then there was the infamous ones like Hopkins, Stick, and Spaz. Then there was the Dead Poets boys.

“This was my room” he pointed to the door, the door of the room that Cameron was lucky enough to have as a single for the second half of the year due to his expulsion.

“Wow, my husbands childhood room” you joked and he just grinned before his eyes glanced across the hall.

“And that was Todd and Neil’s” he spoke a bit more serious now, eyes glancing nervously at the room. Charlie used to pretend he was still in there, doing homework and rehearsing his lines. It was easy because he didn’t live across the hall anymore, he didn’t have to see how empty it was, so he could just pretend. Pretend that he was still in there, frozen in time, seventeen and full of big dreams.

“Right across the hall, kinda makes up for having to dorm with Cameron huh?” you told him, trying to get him out of his head and away from the trauma. It had been ten years since Neil had passed and by now he deserved to be associated with happiness instead of heart break.

“It did, a lot” he smiled back at you, happy you were able to get him away from the bad memories. The memory of waiting for that to be the last door he walked into that morning. Sitting in the cold and half empty room just to tell Todd he was gone. Sit by Neil’s bed and know he would never sleep in it again.

"To bad we can't go in" you pouted and Charlie chuckled before shaking his head, trying his best not to be sad about being here.

"I'd rather not, for me Neil is in there doing homework forever. Best not to disturb him" and you couldn't help the tears that welled in your eyes as you looked at your husband. Your husband who was hurting but was trying for you and that was all you ever wanted. You didn't need him to change or tell you everything, he just needed to be comfortable.

"True, we can visit him later" you went along with it and Charlie smiled at you, thankful you didn’t think he was weird or oddly sad still after ten years. Instead he just kissed you and then guided you down the hall, the exact route he would take in the dark, hushed voices and dog treats in hand. He was going to take you to the one place not tainted by the soul crushing ways of Welton. The one place he didn’t have any bad memories in.

"You didn't tell me we'd be hiking" you pouted as your heel got stuck in the ground for the tenth time, heading for the tree line, hand locked in Charlie's.

"Sorry Mrs. Dalton, this trek didn't often include girls" and then he was bending down, offering you his back to which you giddily jumped on, feeling like a little kid. Once his hands were wrapped under your knees you hugged him tight, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of his neck.

"So you never brought girls to a Dead Poets meeting?" and the skin where you had kissed him burned red in an instant which only made you chuckle.

"I uh, um well. There was this one time" and then you were bellowing with laughter, Charlie gripping you tighter to keep you from falling.

"I'm teasing Charlie, it would be a waste of my time to be jealous because I'm the one who got to marry you and that must mean I was better right?" you grinned, chin resting over his shoulder as he weaved his way through the woods. You would've gotten lost the minute you stepped in but Charlie knew the route like the back of his hand.

"You have absolutley no idea babe" Charlie told you, reminiscing about the two girls he had brought and how dumb they were. He was never all for going to school but meeting girls who seemed so dull was shocking. You weren't dull, in fact you were probably smarter than him. He loved that.

"I can't believe you'd do this walk in the dark, you are insane" you muttered into his ear and he just smiled, thinking about how easy it was to be carefree when you were seventeen.

"And here we are" he announced with a grin and carefully slid you off his back. You were met with a small cave, the opening a duck down, but definitely roomy inside. Charlie waved his arm, motioning you to go first so you obeyed. Once inside you found a small spot to sit on a rock as Charlie ducked in behind you, a soft smile splayed across his lips.

“It’s nice, spacious even” you grinned at him and he chuckled, stumbling beside you. The cave roof had done a good job of protecting the spot where they’d keep a fire, a small patch of soot and ash left behind from the last fire lit ten years ago. In the corner still sat the God of the Cave, the lamp almost crumpling considering it was probably thirty years old when Neil had first found it.

“Isn’t it, we could all cram in here easily. Use each others coats as picnic blankets” Charlie told you, gesturing to the ground and you tried to picture all the boys, seventeen, and rebelling against the world.

“I bet it was always Stevens” you smirked at him and he chuckled lowly.

“Yes, it usually was” he told you back, loving how you knew not only him but his friends so well. He wished you had that with Neil. His best friend. The one that could never be replaced.

“Tell me everything about it” you said, laying your head on his shoulder. He smiled, knowing you meant everything about the cave, so he just wrapped his arm around you and began to talk. Maybe not in particular to you but he just talked.

He talked about how it started with finding Keating’s senior annual, how when they confronted him he made the whole thing sound so alluring, saying women would swoon which instantly peaked Knox’s curiosity. How at lunch they made a plan to go, finding a map that would lead them to the old Indian cave, and as soon as midnight struck they snuck out their dorms, giving the dog some treats, and running into the dead of the night. Not of course without scaring each other on the way. How after a while those meetings were the only thing he lived for and you were happy.

Happy that Charlie got to experience that in a world conformed to keep him from it. Even if it was just a short few months it still gave him something to love, something to reminisce on for the rest of his life, and for the first time you realized why Charlie had still been so hurt after all these years.

Because when Neil died they all lost what they were living for. On top of that they lost Neil too. None of them accomplished those dreams that the society had given them. Neil didn’t go into acting, he died, and for the rest of them they all ended up becoming exactly what their fathers and that school wanted of them. They never got that excitement back. They just conformed like the rest of them, and how disappointing that must be when you already had a taste of what freedom was like.

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tonicandjins · 2 years

Text

sh**ting stars

characters: wonwoo + reader word count: 7.8k genre: all fluff :) summary: long story short, sh**ting stars AU note: miss me? :P

please help me see seventeen on december!

***

God, you hate him.

Jeon Wonwoo is, as you like to call it, your karma. Your karma for not taking up a medical course as advised by your parents (seriously though, you did everything you could to dodge reading those biology books stacked up in your older sibling’s room back home, and that includes taking PR as your major—no biology and physiology books for sure, but you got Jeon Wonwoo instead); your karma for tenaciously dreaming about being rich (money, money, and only money are three things that make you happy); and lastly, your karma for trying to sabotage his rising career when you two were in college (it’s a story for another day).

He struts his way to your desk. Bellowing your last name, Jeon Wonwoo enters the vicinity and you start to see red. Even from afar and with sunglasses hiding his mischievous eyes, you just know that he’s here to ruin your day.

“How’s my favorite PR manager?” He starts, and it’s only now that you notice a new piercing on his left ear. You gasp, disappointed but never surprised at this point. Jeon Wonwoo only lives to make your life hard.

“Wonwoo!” You screech. “Didn’t we agree not to change your appearance for your next project? Which part of keep people out of your face did you not understand? Jesus. Seungcheol’s going to kill me.”

Wonwoo gets rid of his sunglasses, throwing the pair on your desk. “Nobody touched my face. It’s just a piercing, Y/N. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You’re doing a cameo for that international film we were talking about just last week, Won. The character is supposed to appear the complete opposite of your garbage personality: a good boy. Another piercing, really?”

“Hey, good boys can have piercings!” he defends. “You are so judgmental. What do I expect?”

You sigh, defeated. As much as you would like to throw the nearest item within your reach (a stapler) to his face, you have to admit that Jeon Wonwoo’s face is your main source of income. “What brings you here anyway? We don’t need you here until the day after tomorrow to discuss the script and storyline for your new drama.”

Your eyes and attention go back to your screen, reading Wonwoo’s “statement” regarding his new drama one last time before giving Sooyeon, one of the PR associates, a nod—an approval to upload it on the agency’s website.

“Why? I can’t visit my favorite PR manager?” Wonwoo asks, defensive.

“I am your only PR manager.” You scoff, eyes still on the screen. “Come one, Won. What’s going on?”

Wonwoo sighs, makes himself comfortable on the lazy boy on the corner of the room. You turn to look at him; he pouts, eyes pleading. You only know what it means.

“Girls,” you call the associates’ attention. “Go out for lunch today.”

The girls squeal, and ask where you should go. You shake your head, handing them the corporate card instead and letting them know they can get themselves whatever they want as a reward for an exhausting week. They leave in a matter of minutes, but not without bowing to Wonwoo and bidding polite goodbyes to him. You walk them out of the room, locking the door behind you.

“Alright,” you breathe. “They’re gone. Talk.”

“I do not want to be in that drama,” he says.

You are disappointed, but then again, not surprised. Wonwoo was gone for a year to pursue his international film career (successfully if you may add) and had expressed as soon as he came home that he doesn’t want any projects for the next 6 months—at least. Somehow, despite the bubbling hatred towards the star, you feel awful that the agency continued to force projects after projects on him—one commitment after another, one interview after another, one drama after another—and he’s just over it. But at the end of the day, Wonwoo’s hands are tied with a rope called contract.

“I know, Wonwoo,” you reply. “But we’ve already agreed to it. We’ve signed commitments and a press release has been made about it. We can’t just take it back now.”

Wonwoo sighs, tired, and it pinches something in your inside. Working in PR, you believe, somehow made your worry about this devil. It’s a part of the job description after all.

The drama had been the talk of the town. The director and producer for the project were well-known. The story is a remake of one of the best films of the decade called Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, in which Wonwoo would take the role of Hong Banjang—who you have personal affinity with because of how great the character is in general.

“I’m not doing it,” Wonwoo says, closing his eyes as he leans back to the couch.

“Seungcheol’s going to kill you,” you retort.

“I’m the one filling his bank account. He won’t do anything to harm me. He will kill you,” he spats nonchalantly. “I mean, that’s not going to be a problem for me. Good riddance, if you ask me.”

“Wonwoo.”

He says your name back, with the same tone, same determination.

“Jeon Wonwoo,” you firmly say, standing from your seat and walking towards him. Wonwoo opens his eyes and finds you towering over him. “You have to do it. I’ve already said yes.”

“I’ve already said yes,” he mocks. “You’re literally worse than my parents. I’ve never had someone tell me what to do every day until I met you.”

“And I’ve never had someone make my life a living hell,” you answer. Wonwoo raises an eyebrow, as if he’s asking if you’re being serious. “Come on, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo bites his lips, looking at you in the eyes.

“No,” he says again, smirking. “No. Never.”

“Please.”

“Oh, she says please now,” he answers. “What’s the deal with this project anyway? Why is Seungcheol so desperate for me to get this role?”

“Two other actors from our agency were cast as well,” you answer truthfully. “You taking the lead role will guarantee attention and fame for those two. Also, their offer per episode is the highest one for you so far. Seungcheol’s hitting two birds with one stone.”

“What’s in it for you, then?” he asks.

“Seungcheol will not kill me,” you answer. “That’s it for me. Come on. Stop being a brat.”

The next thing that Wonwoo does takes you aback. He stands from his seat, towering over you, and walks forward, making you step back—eyes shivering, mouth dry, hands shaking.

“What’s in it for me?” he whispers as soon as you’re trapped between his lean, tall body and your desk. “What’s in it for me, sweetheart?”

“Don’t—okay—don’t, don’t call me that,” you stutter. “Money. You get money.”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “I want you.”

Your knees are shaking at this point. Wonwoo places his hands on the either side of your hips, gripping the table and leaning closer, until your can almost feel his nose against yours.

“What?” you ask, swallowing.

“I’ll take the role—”

“You already did.”

“The two rookies will get the head start they need for their career; I’ll make sure of that. Seungcheol’s wallet gains more weight. You don’t get killed by Seungcheol,” he states. “And I get you. A win-win for everyone.”

Wonwoo’s voice is low, as if anyone else can hear what he’s saying, and you’re about to run out of breath.

You don’t say anything. You might have actually forgotten how to speak at this point.

“Every day, you’re coming with me,” he says—commands. “You’re taking me to and from whichever location this drama takes me.”

“That’s what your road manager is for, Wonwoo,” you finally answer. “That isn’t my scope. It’s not a part of my job description.”

Wonwoo leans closer. At this point, he’s staring at your lips and you’re looking at his. Closer, closer, closer, eyes fluttering, closer, closer—

Wonwoo’s laugh makes you open your eyes.

“Then, no,” he says. “I’m not filming that drama. Goodbye, Y/N.”

And just like that, Jeon Wonwoo leaves.

Seungcheol is most definitely going to kill you.

***

Joshua Hong is charming, to say the least. One could be mistaken whenever Joshua is seen around the area. He could easily pass off as an idol or an actor, if he wasn’t busy working in one of the biggest law firms in Seoul.

His eyebrows are furrowed as he reads the agreement through his laptop. He is sitting right across you as you express your dilemma with him.

“Seungcheol is definitely going to kill you,” he confirms as he finishes the document. “It also says here that Wonwoo is promoting most of his endorsements in this drama, meaning nine businesses are also involved as they have already sent the terms to Seungcheol, to which he had agreed on. You’re not only losing the drama, but you’re also breaching against at least 10 terms related to this project.”

“Joshua,” you plead. “Save me from this.”

“Make Wonwoo do it,” he replied. “Find the reason why he doesn’t want to do it. Give him flowers. Make his coffee. Clean his shoes.”

“Josh, if you’re thinking that I’m going to slave my ass for Jeon Wonwoo, you are,” you stop. “Right. You are right. God, I hate him.”

Joshua laughs, closing his laptop. “Wonwoo likes you.”

You scoff, reaching for the cup of iced americano between you and the lawyer. “Joshua, Wonwoo and I have been in each other’s lives—involuntarily if I may add—for ten years. We’ve shared feelings with each other and him liking me is quite impossible at this point. He hates me; I am disgusted by his entire personality. That’s just how we are.”

The attractive lawyer across you licks his lips, watching you as you drink your cold coffee. “Do you like him?” he inquires.

“Didn’t you hear a word I just said?” you retort. “I would rather die than admit to have any positive feelings towards Jeon Wonwoo.

Joshua nods and slips his laptop back to his bag. “Then it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“What shouldn’t be a problem?”

Joshua smiles and starts to walk towards the door, leaving.

“Josh!” you exclaim. “What shouldn’t be a problem?”

He turns, looking at you with eyes so bright—it’s unreal, his eyes—and beaming. “It shouldn’t be a problem when I take you out for dinner on Friday at seven.”

You feel heat on your cheeks and chest, but you beam at Joshua.

“I’ll see you then.”

You don’t see him on Friday. Something holds you back, and you’re not sure why.

***

“Why?” is Wonwoo’s first word as soon as you answer the phone.

You squint, confused at the question, and also why Wonwoo is calling you at—for a second, you take your phone from your ear to check the time—3 in the fucking morning.

“Wonwoo, do you know what time is it?” you ask, yawning, your back stiff from the position you were in while sleeping. “What are you talking about?”

“The drama,” he sighs, as if you should’ve gotten the question in the first place. “Why do you want me to do the drama so bad?”

“I’ve told you,” you breathe out. “Seungcheol’s going to kill—”

“I know that of all people, you’re not afraid of Seungcheol,” he answers. That is true to some extent. Jeon Wonwoo, having known you and made your life miserable for ten years now, is right.

You sigh, closing your eyes, feeling the sleepiness wash over you again. “Wonwoo. Talk to me at 8 am. That’s when I clock in.”

He says your name. His tone is solemn, curious—pleading, if you may say so yourself.

Giving up, and knowing you can always blame it on the fact that you’re half-asleep later, you answer truthfully: “Hong Banjang is my favorite character from the big screen,” you start. “And you are my favorite actor, despite your asshole nature and your tendency to ruin things for me daily. I would love to see you in a different light for the first time. You’ve always played the roles of CEOs, chaebols, stars, bad boy-with-internal-traumas, and the like. Hong Banjang will be different, Wonwoo. And you will do a fantastic fucking job winning the hearts of every woman in the world.”

Wonwoo mumbles something on the other line. The question is hazy when you hear it. You ask him to say it again. He says never mind and tells you to sleep because you’re ugly enough—a pair of dark under-eyes won’t help. Fuck you is the last thing you say. Wonwoo says it back, laughing before ending the call.

***

Jeon Wonwoo agrees to take the role—as if he had a choice in the first place; you were willing to do anything for him to do it anyway.

The table reading had begun two weeks after your 3 am happenstance with him (which, by the way, you have already forgotten about—or at least, that’s what you have been telling yourself to save your face from embarrassment), and the shooting starts this week.

Wonwoo is getting ready, and you’re waiting for him in his living room after packing all of the things he would need until the end of next week. The location is set in Jeju-do, and you will be joining him as per Wonwoo’s terms to play the role (for you to stay with him while filming—though you were able to negotiate and make him understand that you’re also working for other artists, therefore you would only stay with him for two weeks straight, go back to Seoul for one week, then back to him for another two weeks; this will be the arrangement until he finishes filming the drama). You still have no idea why Wonwoo is being a baby about it and why your presence is required for him to do the film. You reckon it’s because he would eventually get tired of faking kindness with other people, therefore he needs someone who knows his true evil self so that he can still be himself when he’s away from cameras.

Seungkwan, the new manager, ever so bright, carries two of Wonwoo’s bag for you and tells you that he’ll be waiting by the van instead. You nod and thank him, feeling bad that the kid had to endure staying with Wonwoo until, well, until he gives up like so many other managers that have come and gone.

“Wonwoo,” you call out. “Come on. Our flight is in an hour. We’re also expecting paparazzi waiting from the departure area. It’s going to take some time for us to get in.”

As if on cue, Wonwoo comes out of his room, hair still damp from the shower.

You are out of breath for a second. The back of your mind asks what is so mesmerizing, because it’s not like Wonwoo is even naked, but a part of your mind fills in for you. Jeon Wonwoo is an attractive man—that, you can never deny—and if it weren’t for his garbage personality and his tendency to absolutely make everything a living hell, you would admit this to his face.

“What the fuck are you looking at?”

There you go. A reminder that he isn’t all that because he’s attractive. You wish you could hit him square on his face for once, but then again, that face is your source of income. Breathe in, breathe out.

You smile, standing from his couch, “My favorite celebrity’s face, of course!”

Seungcheol had instructed you clearly to keep making Jeon Wonwoo happy until the drama is done. You and Seungcheol know for a fact that if Wonwoo changes his mind about one thing, he wouldn’t think twice to drop it. In this case, it’s the drama. Wonwoo had, time and time again, expressed his disinterest towards this project—which is why Seungcheol wants you to ensure that he doesn’t bail out.

Wonwoo only rolls his eyes at your statement and throws you his jacket. “Wear something warm, stupid.”

It’s only then that you had realized how little clothing you have for someone traveling: a pencil skirt and a blouse paired with heels.

“Who wears a corporate attire when traveling, anyway?” he asks and by habit, picks up your bag from his couch, carrying his own along.

“I’m traveling for work, hence the whole outfit,” you answer in defense and follow him towards the door. Wonwoo mumbles something you can’t really understand.

“Wonwoo, one second please.”

Wonwoo turns to look at you, eyes soft, and—what are you saying?

You shake your thoughts and reach up to fix his damp hair, knowing that he hates seeing pictures of himself with messy hair. Wonwoo’s eyes watch you, and they linger so you pull away from him. He doesn’t say anything and moves on, leaving you to pull yourself together and breathe.

What’s with you today? And yesterday? And even the days before today?

You have been looking at Wonwoo more these days. Sure, you look at him all the time, making sure he doesn’t have any boogers or anything in between his teeth, always checking if he needs a quick visit to his dermatologist after a shoot, or if he needs to put on a sheet mask before going out in public. But these days, you’ve been looking at him for a second too long.

In the last ten years, you have managed to memorize all the details of Wonwoo’s face, but recently you realized how he purses his lips when he’s shy and that his nose scrunches when he’s genuinely laughing at Seungkwan’s jokes—not like the laugh he breathes out during interviews.

You wonder why you’re looking at Wonwoo more than usual, and if this is why you bailed out of that date with Joshua two weeks ago. It gives you shivers thinking about it, but you shake the thought and file it back to the crevices of your mind.

It can’t be, you whisper to yourself.

You can’t have feelings to Jeon Wonwoo.

***

A small fan meeting is held in between shooting the drama as per Wonwoo’s requests.

At first, you had been reluctant, knowing how hectic this will be for him. Everyone in the industry knows how busy drama shootings are, especially when your artist is playing the lead role. In between takes, Wonwoo had to keep his fans updated by going live on his Instagram and he had to promote some brands throughout the whole series, hence there’s a good reason why you refused at first when he asked to hold a fan meeting.

But Wonwoo had been so upset about your rejection of his idea, saying that this could be the only time he could hold a fan meeting in Jeju-do. He had said that every time he would visit Jeju-do, it would only be for a day or two for work, and that many of his fans had been waiting to see him and all they get is a wave from afar. Seungcheol didn’t agree as well—mostly because Wonwoo wants it to be a free fan meeting and there wouldn’t be any profit at all, only expenses—but eventually said yes when Wonwoo contacted one of his brands to sponsor the fan meeting. (Jeon Wonwoo, always one step ahead of everyone.)

Which is why, currently, you and Seungkwan are running around to make sure that no one touches him too boldly or goes closer than they should.

Jeon Wonwoo smiles for the camera, eyes shining, like he’s at his happiest, and greets every fan who comes up to him for a signature. Beads of sweat forms on his forehead, but he wipes it off before anyone (but you, of course; you notice everything) sees it. He smiles, and smiles, and smiles, and—

He’s tired.

You can tell by the way his cheeks are shaking a little after every snap from the cameras. You can tell by the way his eyelids, for half a second, droop and how he keeps blinking hard to moisturize his eyes.

You call Seungkwan’s attention and hand him a small bottle of energy gummies. “Let Wonwoo take one. He’s tired.”

Seungkwan looks at you, confused. “He doesn’t look like he is…”

“Seungkwan,” you sigh. “Please. Just do it.”

The manager nods and quickly goes on stage, behind Wonwoo to subtly make him take one gummy.

Jeon Wonwoo sighs in relief, thanking Seungkwan, before throwing the gummy in his mouth and moving on to the next fan.

Wonwoo turns to look at you for a minute, as the MC asks the audience that it’s now time for question, smiling softly.

He’s saying thank you.

You smile back.

You’re welcome.

***

The leading lady is beautiful.

That, you can admit aloud.

“I’ve seen more beautiful ones,” Wonwoo interrupts as you admire the woman from afar. “You should see women from New York, they’re—”

“Wonwoo hyung!” Seungkwan calls and hands you and the actor a bottle of juice. Four weeks into the project and overall into being Wonwoo’s manager, Seungkwan has learned so much about you and Wonwoo: the food you like and dislike, what you’re allergic to, what you like to drink based on the weather, and to be honest, it’s only when Seungkwan himself had told you how you and Wonwoo are similar when you realized it.

“Are you ready for the kissing scene?”

You freeze, ever so gracefully; you hope Wonwoo doesn’t notice.

You haven’t come to terms with exactly what you feel. See, this is why whatever you’re feeling isn’t supposed to exist. Wonwoo is an actor (Jesus, the way he’s making you feel now all seem real with how good he is in acting), and you’re, well… you’re his PR manager.

First of all, what would Seungcheol say? Isn’t this one of the code of conducts when working for an entertainment agency? Didn’t the contract say in bold, read letters to NEVER HAVE FEELINGS TOWARDS YOUR ARTIST? Maybe it didn’t exactly, but that’s the unsaid rule, right?

You’re not supposed to like Jeon Wonwoo, Asshole Extraordinaire; not even when his eyes are always beaming when you’re talking to him; not even when he randomly quotes a line from his favorite books; not even when he identifies himself as a cat and you couldn’t agree more; not even when he (attempts) secretly makes your life easier; not even when he carries your purse even when it shouldn’t be the other way around; not even when he massages your hands while you’re asleep in the van (Seungkwan had told you); not even when you miss him when you’re apart from each other.

Not even when it makes your heart ache when he starts the scene with his leading lady, him leaning in for a kiss, his lips so close—no.

You’re not going to watch it.

You pretend to call someone important when in reality, you just want to get rid of the heavy feeling in your chest.

It doesn’t go away.

***

Jeon Wonwoo doesn’t hate you, okay?

He’s just, well, he was confused at first.

Wonwoo didn’t understand why he needed your attention during study sessions when you were in college. He didn’t quite get why he kept on looking forward to your feedback when he auditioned for his first role, not when you were barely a friend with how you and him bicker most of the time if not always. He’s uncertain why every time he wins an award, whether it’s from a small recognition or as big as a daesang, your face is the first one he finds in the midst of a huge crowd. It’s unclear to him why, even long before becoming his PR manager, you’re the first person he looks for when he needed comfort. He has a unique way of showing it, sure, but Jeon Wonwoo finds comfort in your insults and harsh words.

In the beginning, he was certain that he would never want to lose against you. He was, to say the least, intimidated by how much of a strong competition you were back in college, despite majoring in two entirely different programs; him in performing arts and you in public relation. You had been the talk of town as soon as you transferred to his university. Jeon Wonwoo was the king of Korea National University of Arts until you came along, your head held high as you were known as the top student from the college you came from. You hadn’t been studying acting like most students, but you studied about everything else apart from acting—playwright, directing, stage design, until you decided you wanted to be in marketing and PR. Always in the background, as Wonwoo says in his mind.

He started being confused about… how he feels towards you (let him put it that way, okay? He isn’t as good in words as many people may think) when you and him were apart for a year.

Seungcheol had decided that it was time for Wonwoo to venture the bigger screen: Hollywood.

Jeon Wonwoo had been scared, to say the least, and nothing else mortified him than going big but coming home as a flop. He didn’t want to despite the deals that he was getting. Seungcheol and the team from the higher ups were forcing him, calling him day and night to say yes. The calls and pleading and offers from Seungcheol and brands and television stations were giving him anxiety. He didn’t want it. (Perhaps he did, but he didn’t want the baggage that came with Hollywood. Besides, if he were to go to Hollywood, he wouldn’t have an excuse to take you with him because another PR team would have to handle him overseas.)

But you, oh God, you had held his hand.

Wonwoo remembers how his hand trembled at the thought of moving to California for an entire year, per the contract handed to him, and how he had asked Seungcheol and everyone else to leave before he signs anything. Except you, of course, always except for you.

You had stayed inside the meeting room with him, silent for a few minutes, until you reached out to hold his trembling, sweaty hands.

“Wonwoo,” you had softly whispered. “It’s alright if you don’t want to do it,” you had said.

“But,” he stuttered. “This is a good thing, right? This is good for me, right?”

You had smiled softly, shaking your head, disagreeing. “It’s a good opportunity, yes. But you decide whether it’s good for you or no. What do you think?”

Your voice had helped him calm down, breathing in and out. “I will be able to learn a lot of things,” he had started. “Working with new directors. Learning the language. Seeing new places and new people. It’s good.”

“But?” you had offered, knowing well that he had a lot of things to say.

“For the same reason. It’s out of my comfort zone,” he had answered. “Working with new directors who speak a different language and who probably has different expectations compared to the ones I’ve worked with. Learning the language, which by the way, both of us know I am shit at. Seeing new places and new people, which means I can get lost and get killed. It’s bad.”

Wonwoo remembers how softly you had laugh, not to embarrass him or invalidate how he felt, but to lighten up the mood. Your hands had held his tighter, your fingers drawing circles on the back of his hands.

“Jeon Wonwoo,” you had whispered; Wonwoo had thought it’s intimate, how you and him were whispering to each other even when there was no one else to hear. “Jeon Wonwoo, you’re a star, and you are meant for great things. Have you seen the way people gravitate towards you? How we continue to spin around you because of how talented and charming and kind you are?”

We, Wonwoo had noted. It means you gravitate towards him as well.

“The directors will love you. It’s rare to find an actor in Hollywood who respects his job enough to actually get a degree for it,” you had continued, but Wonwoo is still stuck at the fact that you admitted that he’s talented and charming and kind. “The language, well, I can’t say anything about that. You are shit at speaking English.”

Wonwoo had laughed at that, feeling his chest lighten up, hands still warm against yours.

“The places and the people,” you had been smiling, eyes looking at him with so much warmth. “Will be new. But the universe always conspires to make things right and easy for you, doesn’t it? You have seen how it worked wonders for you, all because you deserve it. All because you deserve this.”

The melody of your voice was sweet, almost making him melt. And you had said these words over and over, until Wonwoo had it engraved in his mind. You deserve this. You can do it. You will make it big in Hollywood.

Wonwoo had wanted to kiss the breath out of your lungs that day. But he didn’t.

Instead, he had signed the contract, and three weeks later, he was in a flight to LA to work for another dream.

Wonwoo remembers how frustrated he was when you hadn’t called as soon as he landed, even worse when he didn’t see a single text a week later. He recalls how many nights he hadn’t been able to sleep, tossing and turning on his bouncy, fancy hotel bed, as he waited for you to call him. He had resented how cold you were, how unwavering you were, how seemingly unaffected you were with the distance.

You had known each other for a good decade, and Wonwoo had thought that he would mean so much more than a colleague at that point. Besides, he didn’t have a lot of friends in the industry (apart from a producer from the same agency named Jihoon, and an idol named Soonyoung), and he thought that you would at least ask him if he had eaten or if he had remembered to take his vitamins like how you did when he was in Seoul.

Wonwoo, not long after, had figured that perhaps you don’t see him as anything more than an artist that you are working for. To say that it had broken his heart would be an understatement.

Hence, Wonwoo had stopped trying to get your attention, had stopped hoping you would call, and had decided that he would just get rid of these feelings in silence.

That is until he came back home and realized he’s doomed.

As soon as he saw your smiling face while waiting at the arrival area on the airport the day he came home, Wonwoo had known that he was a goner.

What’s worse is that Seungcheol wants him back on the job as soon as he landed, handing him projects after projects and Wonwoo just wants to rest. Not from the job—never—but from having to work with you and knowing that he would never get a chance with you. At some point, he even considered asking Seungcheol to get him another PR manager, but that would be risking his career. Despite how cold you were, Wonwoo knew you were the best in your field.

Wonwoo wants out, but you were, Lord Jesus, persistent.

You had done your best to persuade him to accept projects—holding his arms when you’re pleading to get a yes from him, pouting when he says no, following him around until he agrees. The one that made him agree completely was that one happenstance at 3 am, when he knew for sure you were asleep, but he just really wanted to talk to you and ask why you were so interested for him to take the role. Wonwoo had done many roles and had been offered hundreds of which. Wonwoo had said no to quite a few, to which you never had any problem with, that’s why it was natural for him to be curious why this one project was so important to you.

“Wonwoo. Talk to me at 8 am. That’s when I clock in,” you had answered when he asked.

Wonwoo had only said your name, as though he was pleading. He had heard a sigh from your end, until you had said what truly, embarrassingly broke Jeon Wonwoo.

“Hong Banjang is my favorite character from the big screen,” you had said. “And you are my favorite actor,” Wonwoo is truly, evidently doomed. “Despite your asshole nature and your tendency to ruin things for me daily. I would love to see you in a different light for the first time. You’ve always played the roles of CEOs, chaebols, stars, bad boy-with-internal-traumas, and the like. Hong Banjang will be different, Wonwoo. And you will do a fantastic fucking job winning the hearts of every woman in the world.”

Wonwoo’s heart had leapt. “Even yours?” he had whispered, but you didn’t understand.

Never mind was what he had said when you asked him to say it again.

Fuck you was the last thing you had said. It had torn something in him a little, a reminder that you would never really see him the way he sees you, but he had said it back, laughing it off before ending the call.

Among the many confusing happenstances that made Wonwoo’s heart swell and sometimes nervous, there was one very solid moment which he knew was the turning point: the confirmation that Jeon Wonwoo, the most sought-after actor in Asia, is indeed in love with you.

It was when not-good-looking attorney Joshua Hong had visited the agency one afternoon. Part of his job or whatever he does was to visit the agency once a week to touch base with everyone and to ensure that all is well in terms of compliance and regulation. Joshua Hong had been talking to you before he left the meeting room (not that Wonwoo had his ear against the door 3 minutes before the lawyer left in attempts to listen your conversation), and had a stupid smile on his face, which made Wonwoo nervous.

Wonwoo had known for a while, that something had been going on between you and the agency’s lawyer. Seungkwan talks a lot while driving. Wonwoo doesn’t normally listen, but the manager had mentioned once that there were rumors going around about you and Joshua.

He didn’t want to believe it, until Joshua Hong told him that you agreed to have dinner with him on Friday that same week.

Wonwoo would be lying if he had said it didn’t affect him in anyway. By default, Jeon Wonwoo Asshole Extraordinaire had started looking up different PR managers again, but he knew too well that he couldn’t replace you.

Wonwoo remembers how anxious he had been the next couple of days, even worse on that Friday you were supposed to go out with Joshua Hong. He had an interview that day and you were helping him answer the questions.

“Quickly, Wonwoo,” you had said with a sigh. “When was the last time you cried?”

“I never cry,” he had answered confidently.

“Let’s see,” you trailed off. “Was it when you got your first Daesang?”

His first grand prize, right. Wonwoo had recalled how ugly you were crying among the audience when he went up to the stage to receive the award. He was smiling so wide, so happy, even when your tears had left a wet stain on his suit when you hugged him as soon as he got off the stage.

“Ahh, even better, when you passed your first audition?”

Wonwoo’s first audition was surreal. He was up against already known actors from prominent agencies. He had no one else—no group of make-up artists or stylists, no acting coaches, no managers to get him a drink—apart from you. You had waited for him outside, hands trembling as you were just as nervous as him, and hugged him as soon as he came out of the screening room smiling, satisfied with himself. In the same manner, you waited with him in front of your office desk’s computer as the producer announced who got the part. Wonwoo remembers how tight you had hugged him.

“Or maybe we can say it’s when your first Hollywood film trailer was uploaded.”

You had called him that day. Wonwoo didn’t hear much from you apart from reminders to apply sunscreen on his face and when you send him e-mails about upcoming projects he needed to prepare for, so to say that he was surprised to receive a call from you that day would be an understatement. You had switched on your camera. Wonwoo had noticed how you lost some weight on your face but he didn’t say anything. You were talking about an interview he was set to do for a Korean magazine when a notification distracted the two of you: the trailer was out. You and him watched it together; Wonwoo had shared his screen and you watched from Seoul, tears pooling on your eyes.

Wonwoo was smiling as soon as the memory fades from his mind. “Quickly, Wonwoo, please,” you said, tapping his forearm. “The writers need this in half an hour. Which one?”

“It’s just funny,” he had said softly, smiling. He looked at you, wishing you could read what’s on his mind so that he didn’t have to say it, hoping you could see right through his eyes.

“What is funny?” you had replied, eyes not leaving your laptop as you type away. Wonwoo didn’t say anything until you looked up to meet his eyes.

“How all of those times you were with me.” Stay with me, Wonwoo had wanted to say. But you were quick, eyes leaving his and typing away.

You and Wonwoo wrapped up at 8 in the evening, and you asked if he wanted samgyupsal for dinner or if he wanted the gourmet burgers he was talking about earlier in that day. He had opted for the gourmet burgers. You had called the restaurant ahead as you and him were on your way to the place to ensure that there are no paparazzi.

It was only the next day when Wonwoo had realized that you spent almost the entire night with him as he drove you to your apartment (this was a routine, despite you being his PR manager, he always drove you home first), which had only meant that, please help Wonwoo’s trembling heart, you didn’t meet Joshua that night.

There are times when Wonwoo thinks that you might feel the same.

Like the time he didn’t have to say anything to you or anyone for you to know that he was tired during the fan meeting. You were about six meters away, yet you knew exactly what he needed. He liked to think that you were looking at him a second more than you should, and he even asked Seungkwan to observe you to see if he sees any spark in your eyes when you’re with him. Seungkwan tells him you knew him best; he says that you deeply care for him, beyond a PR manager would, and that you would always smile when looking at him when he’s sleeping on the back of the van. Even Seungcheol had told him the same thing: that you were shying away from your feelings because of the obvious circumstances—and that Wonwoo is just as bad.

But then there are instances when Wonwoo confirms that you don’t feel the same.

Like when you constantly remind him the whole trip to Jeju-do that you’re tagging along for work, never for Wonwoo. And now.

He had just finished his kissing scene with Kim Dayoung, his female co-star, and you were nowhere to be found.

He calls Seungkwan and asks for you. Seungkwan says you were in an important call, and Wonwoo pouts.

“More important than me now?” he asks aloud, to which Seungkwan laughs at. Wonwoo playfully hits him.

“Hyung,” Seungkwan calls. “Don’t you think telling her how you feel would make it easier for both of you?”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow. “You mean easier for me, right?”

Seungkwan smiles. The director calls everyone back to shoot another scene. Wonwoo shakes his head and turns to leave.

“Oh, hyung,” Seungkwan sighs. “You should have seen her face before you and Dayoung-ssi kissed.”

Somehow, that gives Wonwoo a little push.

***

His life isn’t as crazy as people think.

Crazy things do not make sense, and Wonwoo likes to think that his life makes sense.

Sure, the cameras and lights have been bothering him for six years now. As soon as he got his first acting gig, the lights and cameras hadn’t left him. The noise also follows him everywhere—in a club with his friends, in a restaurant with his family, in a park with an actress for a publicity stunt—and that is why he likes staying home most of the time. It’s also surreal how directors and producers are after him, sometimes he can’t believe it himself, but he wouldn’t really describe that as crazy, because to some extent, Wonwoo knows that being sought after is the fruit of his hard work. It is also very odd how things he randomly use or mention get sold out within second; like that one time he was live on Instagram and randomly applied lip balm on his chapped lips, and the next day his team received a thank you e-mail and an offer to endorse from the brand, alongside a screenshot of how their sales went up exactly 412% more than usual. But then again, he wouldn’t really describe that as crazy.

This is crazy. This doesn’t make sense.

You are in his apartment at one in the morning, helping him sort his things to find some valuable things for an auction for a cause. This is crazy because how can you be so beautiful in his clothes?

(This had been something that Seungkwan had forgotten to remind him. There was an auction for children with cancer and he was supposed to send something the next day, but of course, you were there to save the day as always, asking if you can stay the night in his apartment to look for items to sell for auction. You had told him he could just give you a box of things you were willing to sell and you would sort it out for him, ready in the morning. Wonwoo had agreed—too quickly, too obvious—and now here you are, in his clothes because a skirt and a blouse aren’t comfortable to sit on his living’s room floor and rummage through his things.)

“Wonwoo, go sleep please,” you plead. “I can take care of this. I have five items now: a hat, two shirts, a signed magazine, and an old phone case. Five more and I’m done.”

Wonwoo is not sure if it’s the fact that it’s one in the morning or if it’s the sight of you in his clothes that drives him mad and give him courage. In a second, he is suddenly kneeling beside you, taking his things from your hands and dropping it among the mess you had created.

“W-what?” You stutter.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks suddenly. Wonwoo can’t read what exactly you are feeling, but your eyes soften at his touch.

“Wonwoo,” you whisper. “We can’t.”

“Can I?” he asks again. “Please.” A plead.

You and him stare at each other for a long time (fifteen seconds, but Wonwoo felt as though it’s longer than that), and then Wonwoo says it:

“Why do you never see me?” he asks but doesn’t let you answer. “I have been in love with you for a long time. I haven’t been able to express it well, but these days I’ve been trying.”

“Wonwoo—“

“So hard. I’ve been trying to get your attention, and God, Y/N, this is making me really nervous—I might actually be having a panic attack right now.”

“Breathe.”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he assures. “I have been head over heels for you for God knows how long now. I assume it’s been so long, but I realized only when we were apart. Please, please, please let me kiss you, or else I will combust because I can’t contain this anymore. I can’t pretend anymore.”

“Wonwoo,” you call again, but he continues blabbering. Wonwoo can barely hear you over the beat of his heart thump, thump, thumping.

“Fuck, I even forced you to stay with me during the shooting of the drama with Dayoung, thinking that you would at least be jealous and maybe realize you were in love with me, too. Now that I said that, I feel awful—like an asshole as you would say it, why would I force you to do something you don’t want? Like now, right? I’m pleading, begging you to let me kiss you. Almost as if I’m forcing you. Now, I know you only think of me as a—”

Wonwoo shuts up when he feels your lips against his. He relaxes from his kneeling position and realizes that you are now completely facing him. He feels your hands reach up to his cheeks and your lips pushing softly against his trembling once.

When you pull away, eyes closed, Wonwoo swallows.

“Wonwoo,” you start. “I’ve felt the same for… a long time. But I haven’t come to terms with my own feelings until recently. I’m sorry it me this long; I’m sorry it took us this long.”

Wonwoo breathes, for the first time since the kiss, and holds your face with one hand, your waist to pull you closer with the other.

“Why are you trembling?” you ask.

Wonwoo leans closer. “Because I like you so much.”

Then, he closes the gap between you for the second time, kissing you a bit harder than the first, in hopes of letting you know how much you mean to him. Wonwoo moves, pulls you with him, until you are both sitting comfortably on the floor, your bum on the cold tile and in between his legs, your legs on the either side of his hips, his arms around yours. Your lips are full and soft and wet from his, and Wonwoo licks and kisses and bites and he almost forgets about how nervous he had been about this.

Wonwoo kisses you like a confession. I’m in love with you. Like he’s screaming on top of his lungs how deeply he cares for you and how he wants to be with you, but without using words.

And as you two sat on his floor, giggling in between kisses, Wonwoo starts to think that perhaps the rest of his life had been the crazy part, and this, kissing you, is the only one that ever made sense.

#seventeen au #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen fic #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo au #wonwoo fic #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo scenario #tonicandjins

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