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ceaseless-watchers-special-girl · 3 months

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on knowing another

(longpost i’m so sorry guys it came to me in the shower)

There’s a vague undercurrent of a theme in the Penumbra Podcast about knowing another person. It’s subtle, but it pops up every so often. It’s shown in the way we get to know the characters, especially as we get an insight into their minds in season 3, but it’s also shown in their relationships with each other, and that’s what I want to explore a little bit more.

Peter Nureyev, as we get to know him.

In season 1, Nureyev waltzes into Juno’s life

"JUNO: out of nowhere on a beam of goddamn starlight"

in Juno’s own words, and we all see him as some incredible, untouchable, unbelievably sexy master thief who’s interested in Juno for some unknowable reason (maybe that’s the Juno kinnie speaking idk). We think he’s cool, we think he’s funny, we think he’s dangerous and we think we love him but really, we’re just interested in him. We don’t actually know him yet.

And then, we have Angel of Brahma. We see his past, from his own perspective. And that’s not how knowing another is supposed to happen, you’re not supposed to be thrust into it headfirst, but that’s what we get with Nureyev, and so one second we don’t know him, and the next, we know him better than anyone else, because we’ve seen that he isn’t perfect. Not because he was wrong to kill Mag, that’s a whole different debate, but because he was put in a difficult situation in which there was no right choice. It is impossible for any person to be perfect, and so it was impossible for us and for Juno to truly know Nureyev until we knew what made him flawed.

Diamond Hijikata

Let’s travel back in time a bit, to when Juno was with Diamond. We see Diamond Hijikata from Juno’s point of view, we know her the way Juno knew her, and it is impossible for us to know her any other way, because we only ever see her through Juno’s eyes. Juno thought Diamond was flawless. I might be projecting a little here, because I thought Diamond was flawless. Every time I listen to Embrace of Ice, I fall in love with the version of Diamond Hijikata in Juno’s head. Sometimes, she says things that don’t quite fit with that version, and I brush it off, because Diamond Hijikata is impeccable, perfect, and so even if she sounds a little condescending at times, even if she sounds like she sees Juno as a toy to play with, as a way to piss of her mother, I don’t believe it. I choose to trust her instead. Because I think I know her.

And then, we get the scene in the third part of Embrace of Ice.

“JUNO: I thought I knew who you were. DIAMOND: You do, doll. Nothing's changed. You've just... learned more.”

But everything’s changed. Diamond isn’t who I thought she was, who Juno thought she was. Her name was Diamond Hijikata, sure. She went to college. She had friends, mostly troublemakers. She liked protests, and standing up for things, and pissing off her mother. She didn’t like flaunting how privileged she was. And that paints a certain picture, doesn’t it? Of a girl who stands up for what she believes in, who uses her own privilege to help those who don’t have any, who refuses to let corrupt authority keep her down; and it’s hard not to fall in love with someone like that. But that’s not who Diamond Hijikata was.

Diamond Hijikata was bored and rebellious. Captain H says so, at the very start of Embrace of Ice.

“HIJIKATA: Doesn't believe a word of what she says when she gets like that. JUNO: I don't think so. When she gets on a tear, she's so…”

Juno doesn’t agree with her. Juno thinks Diamond thinks like he does, that she believes in what she fights for. But when those fights threaten her own life, her own privilege, she backs down, and we are struck with the ugly truth that Diamond doesn’t believe in what she fights for. She doesn’t actually want to help those who are disadvantaged. I’m not even sure she sees Juno as an equal. And the sad fact is, I don’t know who Diamond is anymore. Neither does Juno. And I don’t even know who to be mad at anymore. Diamond hasn’t broken my heart, because the Diamond I was in love with never existed anywhere except in my head. If I had to bet, I’d say Juno feels the same way. And so he doesn’t love Diamond anymore, he never did, but he doesn’t hate her either, because:

“JUNO: The older I get, the harder it is to blame someone for being the most honest version of themselves, no matter how ugly the truth is. I'll take it over a pretty lie every time.”

The thing is, Diamond isn’t a bad person. And you can hear that in her little monologue in Embrace of Ice part 3.

“DIAMOND: Because I’m not a bad person. I'm not.”

She’s right, in a sense. She didn’t really do anything wrong. She wasn’t in on her mother’s plans, she wasn’t trying to thwart Juno at every turn. All she knew was where the ballroom was. She even has a cute little story to go with it. It’s so human, so understandable. But it’s human in a way none of us expected of Diamond Hijikata, because she is not the version of her we have in our heads. If we really knew her, we wouldn’t have been surprised at her actions. So Diamond didn’t betray us, not really. She didn’t intentionally decieve Juno or intend to cause him harm. She just wasn’t who Juno thought she was. And that’s why her actions seems so surprising, why it feels like a betrayal: because we don’t know her. That’s why the thought of her hurts so much: because how are you supposed to mourn losing the person you loved if they never even existed in the first place?

(god, fuck, this whole essay began because I couldn’t stop thinking about Diamond Hijikata, she hurts me so much I can’t even decide how to feel about her. send help.)

Peter Nureyev again

We see inside Nureyev’s mind in season 3, and everyone jokes about how much of a mess he is, but the fact is we love him anyway. And we don’t love him despite it, we love him because of it, because loving another is knowing another and seeing their flaws and saying “I understand”. This ties into what Juno says to Vespa before the wedding:

“JUNO: …everyone thinks they know you, right? They make up a version of you in their heads, and if you don’t play the part right they start asking questions. Sometimes with words. VESPA: Sometimes with a look. I know. JUNO: Yeah. “What’s wrong,” “are you okay,” “you seem angry”... all that. But... I don’t know. One day I wasn’t playing the role the best and I could tell he just didn’t mind. Or... he’d already stretched the role out until it actually fit me. And I realized I’d already done the same thing for him.”

Juno knows Nureyev now. So far, he’s seen Nureyev switch between personas, seen Nureyev when he isn’t playing anyone, been inside his head, lived with him for a year and talked with him extensively about their relationship (I don’t remember any quotes for this one, but I’m pretty sure they mention it in season 3 at some point. Might be Shadows on the Ship?). He knows Nureyev, well enough that the version in his head fits Nureyev perfectly, and so Juno can be certain that the man he loves really is Peter Nureyev, and not a version of him, because he knows Peter Nureyev.

Slip Jackson

Little shift in perspective now, let’s stop focusing on Juno for a second. Slip Jackson, Nureyev’s ex, the guy who’s been driving the plot of the story for the past year or so despite being in a coma. He’s Nureyev’s first love, and he and Nureyev spend a lot of time toying with the idea of knowing each other. They knew each other when they were kids, about 10 years old, and they meet again 6 or 7 years later by chance. A lot has changed in that time — it might not seem like a lot to an adult, but kids develop rapidly, and don’t stop until about 25, so they’ve both really changed since they saw each other last, and they’ll continue to change. They’re young, and still learning who they are (god, it feels so weird to write that when I’m not much older, but anyways).

And so when Nureyev learns that Slip still does drugs, he’s a little horrified, because he doesn’t understand how Slip could be willing to take that risk. Slip clearly hasn’t developed or matured in the way Nureyev thought he would, and the two of them realise that they don’t really know each other all that well. Slip asks if he’d like to try drugs, and Nureyev refuses, and that’s that for a while. But then they live together for a while, and Slip offers Nureyev a way off Brahma, and he tells him about his dream, about the drug he wants to make. And Nureyev, who’s just figured out that he has the biggest crush on this man, decides he wants to know him a little better.

“NUREYEV: I... would like to try one, I think. Is your offer still open? SLIP: I don't... that's really nice of you, but I don't want you to think you have to try it just to, um, make me feel better, so-- NUREYEV: It isn't to make you feel better. It's to know you, Slip. And I think I'm finding I'd like to know you quite well.”

(Alexa, what’s the most romantic way to tell your boyfriend you want to do drugs with him?)

Then they run away to Saraswati together, and Slip goes on all these secret outings which Nureyev can’t follow him on for a while. Nureyev is forced to trust Slip, to place his life in his hands, but they’re still getting to know each other, and unlike with Juno and Diamond, Nureyev is aware that the version of Slip in his head might not match up with the real Slip. So, he gets paranoid, and the entire mess with the poker game and the executives happens.

But after it, they have a talk. A good one. This is one of the things I love about Slip: he makes Nureyev talk about his feelings, and he’s really good at putting things into perspective. You see it in the latest episode, too, with how they talk about Mag. It’s not perfect, but it seems incredibly mature for someone his age (though, again, not sure how much authority I have on the age aspect of this).

“SLIP: A person can't just tell you who they are cuz we're all too complicated for that. I wouldn't know where to start, and even if I tried, I'd miss most of everything and maybe you'd think I was hiding those things from you, but it wouldn't be true. Too much of me is invisible to me because I'm around it all the time, every day. You can try to see the world from someone else's point of view, but at the end of the day... we're all just ourselves. We're stuck there. But just because I can't say it doesn't mean you can't know it. All I can do is be honest, minute to minute, day by day. I'm sorry I'm not the person you apparently thought I was -- but to be fair, I never said I was that person to begin with. Only you did. So... how about we make each other a promise? NUREYEV: A promise? Promise what? SLIP: A promise to be honest with each other. If we're honest, each of us can give the other the best shot at knowing us, you know? You can decide who Slip Jackson is, and... well. If he's worth your time.”

THIS. This is basically the point of this whole essay (it’s so much longer than I intended I’m so sorry). I start chewing on my own bone marrow every time I listen to this, because he’s so right.

Knowing someone isn’t knowing big things, like their name, or face, or random fun facts about their life. Those are things you pick up along the way. Knowing someone else isn’t knowing what their favourite colour is, it’s them telling you what their favourite colour is and you realising that it makes sense they would like that colour, that it fits in with the image of them in your head. Knowing someone isn’t knowing all their layers, their past, their future, though all those things are important in their own way. Knowing someone is understanding the essence of them, the soul underneath all those layers, the sense of self, of who they are which philosophers have been trying to define for centuries, which Peter Nureyev has been trying to erase from himself for decades.

Slip and Nureyev loved each other because they loved everything they knew about each other, and wanted to know more. Slip’s loss hits Nureyev like a bulldozer because he never really gets to know who Slip is — the chance is taken away from him, and Nureyev is convinced it’s all his fault. He’s determined to bring Slip back so he can finally know who Slip is, even though he’s trying to erase himself so there’s nothing left of himself to love back.

Peter Nureyev forever

And then, season 5. Yowzers.

“NUREYEV: You think you know me. The nameless thief. You presume, just because I've told you my real name and let you peruse a few carefully-curated passages of my life story, that you have access to a "real" me that nobody else does. Is that right? JUNO: This isn't gonna work, Nureyev. That journal was true. I know it was. NUREYEV: (LAUGHS) How could you possibly? JUNO: Because I know you. NUREYEV: You know what I've shown you. Nothing more. JUNO: Can't help but notice you haven't said it yet. NUREYEV: I don't need to play your game. JUNO: If you don't care it'd be really easy to. "I never want to see you again." Like that. NUREYEV: Childish! JUNO: Once you let somebody know you, Nureyev, there's no going back. They've got your number. Chances are you got theirs, too. I let you know who I am because I love you and I'm scared as hell about what that means, but at least I can admit it, goddammit!”

Nureyev is desperately pushing the idea that Juno doesn’t know him, that Nureyev’s been lying all along, that the “Peter Nureyev” Juno knew was just another persona, that Juno never really knew the real Nureyev, just like he never knew the real Diamond. Because if Juno doesn’t know Nureyev, he can’t possibly love him, and that makes it so much easier to break up with him.

But there’s just one catch here. Juno does know Nureyev. As much as Nureyev wants to pretend that all Juno saw was what he let him see, it’s not true. Juno saw right to the core of him, right to the beating heart of what makes Peter Nureyev Peter Nureyev, and he refused to look away until he knew every inch by heart, and he loved what he knew. He still does. And that’s how he knows that Nureyev needs his help now, that’s why he’s not giving up on our favourite master thief.

And that is why this:

“NUREYEV: I do not want to see you any more, Juno. JUNO: What? NUREYEV: You said it would just take those words to excise you from my life entirely, didn't you? Well, I've said them. I have no interest in seeing you any longer. None. I am done. We are finished. Do you understand me? JUNO: Yeah, I get you. So I guess I'll just... go now. NUREYEV: No! JUNO: I... what? NUREYEV: I... that is, you…”

didn’t surprise me. Well, the first bit did. But the turnaround made complete sense. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really shitty of Nureyev to do, but he’s at a point in his life where he’s not sure he can handle Juno being in his life, but he loves him far too much to tell him to leave. Even after he breaks up with him, he immediately backtracks.

And that’s why Juno keeps implying throughout the episode that Nureyev might take him back, and why he doesn’t leave at the end despite promising he would. Because he and I both know that Nureyev doesn’t want him to.

Juno never really hides who he is, and so people either love him or hate him. I think that’s really cool of him.

Nureyev hides who he is almost constantly, from almost everyone. It’s so much easier for him to pretend he did the same with Juno, and that’s what he’s trying to do. But he didn’t, so Juno isn’t giving up on him. Juno knows Nureyev, and he loves Nureyev, and so he’s not going to rest until Nureyev is finally okay (or relatively okay, at least).

TLDR: Juno didn't know Diamond all that well, so he couldn't be with her. Nureyev decided he wanted to know Slip so that he could learn to love him, but the opportunity was taken away from him. Juno comes to know Nureyev and he loves him because of it, but Nureyev is determined to go back to being unknown in season 5 so he can distance himself from Juno and pretend they're not in love. Knowing someone and loving them are linked, blah blah blah.

idk man I don’t have a conclusion these are just thoughts. Loving someone is inherently tied to knowing them, ig. Anyways who’s excited for Nureyev to have a mental breakdown???!!

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pinievsev · 5 months

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Heyy i saw u have ur requests open for sweet home and OMG I NEEDED TO REQUEST SMTH CUZ THE LACK OF FANFICS IS INSANE.

Could you write something with park chan-young? maybe reader or oc (whatever you prefer) helping him to get on that bus in ep2 and then them meeting later on again?

i never requested anything so i hope this makes sense lmao. Thank you alr and btw ur account is amazing!

loose knots

Park Chan young X GN! older sibling of

Kim Su-Yeong & Kim Yeong-Su! Reader

Genre: Fluff (maybe angst)

Warnings: maybe some cussing, reader smokes . (This is sweet home we're talking about)

A/N: I honestly have no idea what to title this but I stayed up all night watching as much of S2 as I could to come up with something. (Bro reader doesn't know Chan young's name for most of this and I hate using "soldier or officer for him but idk what else to call him. So take a shot for every time you see those words in this.) (AND THANK YOU!!)

You sat in the back of the truck with the remaining survivors of your "group" from the green home.

Eun-yu currently had a gun pointed at one of the officers in the front of the truck, basically forcing them to take you all back to the green home apartment complex.

You understood that she's trying to find her brother, but she's basically killing all of you.

The truck stopped Infront of the apartment complex, most of the building collapsed onto itself leaving a giant gap in the middle of it.

You stayed back as she went inside, hoping to find Eun-hyuk. Watching as ji-su held the gun pointed to the officer, just like eun-yu did.

It all happened quickly, and now you were tied up in the building,you felt the second officer, that was instructed to tie you loosen the knot on your restraints.

"i kept the knots loose. Find a safe place once we leave" he whispered to you and got up, sparing a second glance towards you to make sure you heard him, and left once you nodded.

You looked up, hearing someone coming your way. "Is that?.."

"Ms. Im." Eun-yu finished for you, she walked past you, ignoring you all. Leaving you confused. Hadn't she turned?

You watched as they hit her with the truck, and as that asshole of a soldier was about to light her on fire, his head got impaled with some kind of tentacle.

And you heard something you hoped you'd never hear again. "I can't see!".

You remember when hyun-soo had come to help you and your siblings, you remember that monster, and how it almost killed you. You remember having to keep your hands over your sibling's mouths.

You untied yourself, just like the soldier had said, they were loose and easy to undo.

You got up and slowly walked outside, everyone following you just as slowly, you saw the same soldier that tied you, about to shoot the monster, he glanced as you and you put your finger to your lips shaking your head, telling him to be quiet.

He simply nodded and pointed behind him, at a bus. You led everyone slowly there, and a guy, you never caught his name despite living in the same place for so long, began trying to start the bus.

It worked after a few times but the monster had heard you, the soldier began shooting at it and ran after the bus.

You held onto the door with one hand and extended the other to him, he reached out and after a few tries he caught your hand and you pulled him onto the vehicle.

With a quick "thank you" and a nod to you he took the wheel. And you drove off.

You sat next to the broken window. Looking outside. You turned to eun-yu who sat opposite you after hearing her call your name. A cigarette in her mouth and one in her hand, extended to you. You'd somehow become friends.

"want one?" You nodded and took it with a thankful smile. She handed you her lighter, a green one. You recalled it being sang-wook's.

You placed the cigarette between your lips and lit it, giving her lighter back. She moved to sit next to you, so the smoke wouldn't stay inside the bus.

After finishing your cigarette you fell asleep.

You didn't know how long you had been asleep for but you awoke to eun-yu shaking you.

You exited the bus, following eun-yu, you didn't know why, but you trusted her so you didn't ask her.

You jumped, startled after hearing a gunshot coming from the bus. You ran back, seeing the same man that had started the bus turning into a monster.

The weird man that had entered the bus midway poured some kind of alcoholic liquid on the floor and as soon as the now turned man saw his reflection on it, he started wailing.

It was the most blood curdling scream you'd ever heard, you covered your ears and kneeled down next to your little brother.

As if realisation had hit you like a truck you looked around frantically searching for your sister. The soldier stood Infront of you and your brother, as if to protect you. You looked up at him, tears threating to spill from your eyes.

He looked at you. As reassuringly as he could through his own teary eyes.

Ji-su grabbed the thing that the man had dropped, some kind of explosive? And lit the monster on fire. Killing it.

Once it's screaming stopped you rushed on the bus Yeong-Su right on your trail. You looked around and saw your sister, laying on the floor, lifeless.

"Su-Yeong!" You screamed running towards her kneeling on the ground. The tears actually leaving your eyes. You held her to you with one arm, wrapping the other around your brother who was now crying uncontrollably.

"Su-Yeong..." Your brother cried through his sobs.

You let her go, still crying. And picked up your brother who was screaming for you not to leave her walking outside where everyone was. You shook your head and most of them looked down, holding themselves from crying.

But the soldier. He walked up to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry.."

You shook your head, sniffling "don't." He nodded and walked off, you all followed. Your brother still screaming for Su-Yeong.

You're now in the stadium, next to eun-yu screaming for ji-su. She simply smiled at you and nodded. You took a deep shaky breath in and hugged eun-yu to you, covering her eyes and looking away yourself.

You heard the chunk of the stadium finally break off. And crush her.

You stood up, pulling eun-yu along, you needed to find your brother.

You sat in the makeshift base the platoon had made for the survivors with your brother. Zoned out. Until you heard the alarm go off. Roll call.

You stood up, holding your hand Infront of you, lining up against the wall with everyone else.

The soldiers checked everyone, and the same soldier that had brought you here stood Infront of you. He nodded but you didn't react. He moved along checking everyone else.

Once the roll call was over. Your brother ran off to play and you sat back down. You had nothing to do. You felt weak.

Eun-yu walked past you, waving slightly. You waved back. She was strong. She actually did something. Unlike you. You felt useless.

You saw an old lady struggling to lift something. You stood up and helped her. She thanked you telling you where to place the box. Once that was done you bowed to her and left. You walked around your living area, helping people as much as you could.

Out of the corner of your eye you so the same soldier again looking at you, once he made sure you'd seen him he walked off. You followed him.

He led you behind some kind of staircase. And made sure no one was around before talking.

"I'm Chan young." He said a smile on his face. You scanned his face, he had a nice smile. You noted.

"y/n." (I hate using that.) You replied.

"are you okay?" He asked you placing a hand on your shoulder just like he had done back on the bus.

"as okay as I can be. Are you?" He sighed, looking down for just a moment but you saw him.

"i guess I am. It feels like we're stuck here, my duty is to protect the survivors and it's like I can't even do that properly"

You shook your head making him look at you with a hand on his cheek. "you should focus on protecting yourself as well. Physically and mentally. The conditions we live in are not easy. You of all people should know. I understand you want to protect everyone. But if anything happens to you, no one else will."

He stared at you, processing your words. This is the longest he's ever heard you talked. Your voice was calming to him. As much as what you'd just said to him.

He didn't know what to say. He just nodded at you. "Is that all you know how to do?" You joked, your hand still on his cheek.

"what?"

"nod. You've nodded at me at least a dozen on times in the past week." He chuckled.

"i just, I'm not sure what to say to that." You laughed. And lightly patted his cheek a couple of times before dropping your hand

"you don't have to say anything, just think about what I told you. Chan young."

And with that you were off.

From then on he'd always speak to you when he had time. You'd sneak off at times and talk, about anything. Your lives before the world you know today. Your feelings. Through that, he found you were good at giving advice and even if you didn't know, you always helped him calm down, or forget anything negative that was pestering his mind.

Right now you sat on your "bed" looking at your brother playing with a baseball down the hall.

"can we talk?" You looked up, seeing Chan young Infront of you. You nodded and got up, following him to your usual place, one of the secret paths chief Ji had told you about.

You stopped not too far away from where you entered, the only light being his flashlight.

"what's up? Did something happen?" He shook his said at your question and with a *click* the light disappeared. You stood confused.

"Chan you-?" You got cut off, feeling his lips on yours. He pulled away after you didn't react turning his flashlight back on and apologised.

You reached down and turned it off again, making the first move this time. He immediately reciprocated the action.

It was soft and sweet. As if you were a fragile porcelain doll that would break at any point.

But he knew you weren't. You were much more than that. You were the person that helped him through his troubles. The person he'd grow to trust the most during the time you'd spent underground.

"thank you" he said quietly, nearly unheard. But you did hear it. And smiled. "Thank you." You said, putting emphasis on the 'you'.

You heard a light chuckle coming from him before he connected your lips again.

You couldn't possibly imagine what would've happened if he hadn't tied you up loosely back then. And you didn't want to.

A/N: and yes. Ladies and gents I thought of a title.

#fanfiction #sweet home netflix #park chan young #sweet home chan young #sweet home imagines #sweet home x reader #sweet home

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matan4il · 2 months

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I have a query and I'm sorry that this question is going to upset you in advance. I see a post circling on here about Holocaust survivors apparently saying that Palestinians are exactly like them during attacks on Gaza. I just scroll past it because I have poor attention span that cannot stay focused more than one sentence but I wanted to know your opinion on this post or if you have seen it. Again, deep apologies that this ask is upsetting. Thank you for still being here and sharing with us.

Hi Nonnie!

Thank you for the kind way you approached this.

I have seen a post that might be the one you're referring to... It's a screenshot of a tweet:

The original tweet shows an interview with one Holocaust survivor. The response falsely expands this to survivors, in the plural, as if this one tweet shows a whole movement of Holocaust survivors, that people simply refuse to listen to.

The original tweet comes from an account that calls itself a "media company," but has no website (something I would expect from an actual media company), and is at least 80% tweets that are anti-Israel and anti-Jewish. I'll give you an example. We all know Elon Musk has allowed antisemitism to thrive on Twitter, all kinds of it, including the white supremacist type, and others that have nothing to do with Israel. In an attempt to educate him, he was invited to a tour of Auschwitz. But apparently, according to this "media company," that was just meant to stop anti-genocide speech on his social media platform:

Of the up to 20% of tweets this "media company" posts or shares, many are anti-democratic or in support of dictatorial regimes.

This account also amplified the words of Julius Malema, leader of the South African EFF party, as he justified the Oct 7 massacre, and demanded support for the (genocidal) Hamas and its "resistance."

Malema himself has repeatedly sang, "Kill the Boer," a song which many understand as a genocidal chant against the Boers, the South Africans of Dutch descent. This guy is a controversial figure at best, doesn't seem to have an issue with an actual genocide, and this "media company" upholds his words as if he is a role model.

But if this account tweets Israel hate, then I guess the Tumblr user who passed the tweet along has no issue with how questionable of a source this is.

I recognized the face of the survivor. This is what it looks like in the cut off screenshot in the Tumblr post I saw:

So how did I recognize him? Because the number of anti-Zionist Holocaust survivors is SO small (around 5), and I have seen every single one of them repeatedly tokenized by antisemites so much, that I'm familiar with the name and face of each. The man in this vid is Hajo Meyer, who died in 2014. He couldn't possibly make any comments about Hamas' massacre on Oct 7, 2023 and the war in Gaza since, unless this "media company" has managed to somehow contact the afterlife. Here's a screenshot from Google, showing a recent re-upload of this vid to IG:

And here's a very brief bio, mentioning his date of death:

I'm guessing that "media company" didn't name him, or specify the date out of the vid, because it didn't want people to know the guy was dead, and the views he expressed were pre-Hamas' massacre.

Hajo Meyer was, without a doubt, an anti-Zionist. But would he still be using this rhetoric after Oct 7, after the biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust, after better understanding the kind of threat that Israel and Jews worldwide (since Hamas has tried to target Jews in European countries as well, including in the Netherlands, where Meyer lived) are facing from this genocidal terrorist organization ruling Gaza? IDK. I'd like to think he would be better than to continue distorting the Holocaust through this false comparison, but I can't say for sure, and I'm not about to claim that I do, putting words in his mouth just to exploit a dead Holocaust survivor. The fact that the anti-Israel crowd would continue to tokenize (meaning, exploit) a dead survivor like that, as if anyone could know for sure that Meyer would continue to toe the same line, just shows there really is no moral low they can't stoop to.

And here I wanna emphasize how wrong this antisemitic practice is, tokenizing Jews. Because no marginalized group is immune to the hatred spread against it, there will ALWAYS be some of its members, who will internalize and embrace poison aimed at it. There were gay Nazis (the notorious Ernest Roehm was the highest ranking one) and we also have contemporary gay neo-Nazis. So, should we use them in order to pretend that Nazi ideology is not homophobic? That it didn't harm hundreds of thousands of gay people? No, we know that the overwhelming majority of gay people suffered due to it, and would insist that Nazism IS homophobic. So, using those few exceptions to ignore (and embolden) the homophbia of this ideology, ends up being homophobic in itself. Embracing the unrepresentative few over the representative, mainstream majority of a marginalized group in "exonerating" what the group says is hateful and harmful towards it, ends up being hateful and harmful in itself.

And that's what people who only listen to the few anti-Zionist Holocaust survivors are doing. They're basically saying, "Listen to Holocaust survivors!" but they mean only the few who say what the anti-Israel movement does. All the other survivors they ignore, dismiss, silence or even erase.

They're ignoring the voices of the overwhelming majority of Holocaust survivors who WERE (and are) Zionist. Who do not agree with this distorted narrative. Yad Vashem estimates that two thirds of Holocaust survivors came to Israel at the end of WWII, and many more supported Israel even when they chose to settle elsewhere. Just recently, we had a group of 870 American survivors (along with their descendants, altogether 2,500 Jews) thank Biden for standing with Israel after the Hamas massacre. These anti-Israel haters are also erasing the survivors who were themselves targeted on Oct 7, whether threatened, kidnapped, injured or murdered (I've talked about several in my posts on this blog). This anti-Israel mob is exploiting Hajo Meyer even in ignoring that if he had been alive and present in Israel, even just to visit a friend or family member, he would have been targeted, too. These haters are ignoring survivors who said that what Hamas has done is similar to what the Nazis did (I've talked about several of them in my posts on this blog, too. All can be found in my Israel tag).

It is unconscionable, to treat most Holocaust survivors like they don't count, and only see a (literal) handful of anti-Zionist ones as if they do. And it certainly does NOT show the respect the anti-Israel haters imply survivors are owed, through the demand that we all defer to the opinion of the survivors, but ONLY the few anti-Zionist ones.

All that said, off the top of my head, here's a small number of HUGE differences between the Holocaust, and the Israeli-Arab conflict, and anyone ignoring them IS guilty of distorting the Holocaust.

-> The Holocaust did NOT start due to Jews repeatedly murdering Germans on German soil, in an attempt to keep Germans down and prevent them from establishing self rule in the German ancestral land. The Holocaust was completely unprovoked, unjustified and one-sided. Every oppressive measure taken by the Nazis against the Jews, was motivated by antisemitism, and was NOT a reaction to Jewish anti-German terrorism, that the Nazis had to protect their German citizens from. Speaking of unprovoked, unjustified and for a very long time one-sided, that describes the Arab anti-Jewish violence that preceded the establishment of the State of Israel by almost 100 years. But Jewish self-defense in this conflict, which only started about 50 years after said violence began, was provoked, was justified, was a response to what was done to the Jews first.

-> The Holocaust did NOT consist of Jews on German soil collaborating militarily with several Jewish countries surrounding Germany, with the goal of these combined Jewish armies invading and wiping it off the map, in order to prevent German self rule. Guess what the Arabs did to the Jews...

-> The Holocaust did NOT entail repeated German efforts to find a solution for how Jews and Germans could live together on the same land. In pre-state Israel, Jews did try repeatedly to reach an understanding that would allow Jews and Arabs to peacefully share (and co-exist in) the Jewish ancestral land.

-> When Jews finally started rebelling against the Nazis, they did NOT try to get as many Jewish civilians as possible killed. On the contrary, the outbreak of the most famous Jewish revolt, the one in the Warsaw Ghetto, was postponed until the Nazis entered, and the Jewish fighters believed this to be the final 'liquidation' of the ghetto (meaning, the deportation and extermination of the roughly 60,000 Jews still alive there). Only then did they fight back, because (in their own words), they did not want their decision to rebel to cost another Jew "even one hour of life." Compare that to how Hamas has been using Palestinian civilians as human shields. Or even to the Arab leadership back in 1948, which did not hesitate in risking or displacing the entire Arab population in the Land of Israel, in favor of fighting what they called "an extermination war" against the Jews.

-> The Holocaust did NOT see a single day where Germans worked en masse to try and alleviate the suffering of Jews, whether by providing them with humanitarian aid, or by moving them to areas where they would be safe from death. That's in direct contrast to Israel's efforts to make Palestinians' lives better, whether through humanitarian aid, work permits in Israel that guarantee a higher salary and better social rights, medical treatments, warnings when a terrorist target is about to be struck, etc.

-> The Holocaust was NOT supposed to end with even one Jew alive at the end of it. The Germans were going for total extermination of the Jewish people. All Jews who had German citizens were stripped of it in 1935, even before the most murderous parts of this genocide commenced. In contrast, Israel did NOT seek to kill all Arabs, there were many calls for Arabs not to flee Israel and the war which the Arab leadership had started, at the end of the war Israel gave citizenship to 150,000 Arabs who did not leave and did not take arms against Jews, and there was even an offer for tens of thousands of Arabs to return (Weitzmann presented it to the UN), if they do so peacefully. Just a few thousands accepted that offer, but those who did, got citizenship and land.

-> The Nazis were so eager to kill every Jew, that they came to the conclusion they HAD to industrialize their genocide of the Jewish people. That's why they built extermination camps with gas chambers at their core. Auschwitz alone could, on certain days, kill about 20,000 people. No Jew was meant to leave those camps alive. The crematoria were mass murder factories. ANY crime that you want to compare to the Holocaust specifically, you have to show that it includes this industrialization element. Currently, NO GENOCIDE, no matter how horrific, has. And God help us all, I hope it stays that way (this is one of the reasons why the Holocaust mustn't be distorted or minimized. We can't prevent something from happening, if we don't understand what HAS happened, and that we're trying to stop from being repeated). There is not a SINGLE thing in the history of the Israeli-Arab conflict that comes CLOSE to being an industrialized form of massacre. Even the brutality of Hamas on Oct 7, the single bloodiest day in the history of this conflict for either side, doesn't come close.

-> While there are still Jews around, meaning the Holocaust as conceptualized by the Nazis failed, it was so deadly, that it DID lead to the murder of around 70-80% of the Jews living under the Nazi occupation over a short number of years. Even more than 80 years after the end of the Holocaust, Jews have not recovered demographically. Meanwhile, the Palestinian population has increased by about 10 times since Israel's Independence War. But let's say people wanna claim that just this current war is comparable to the Holocaust. There are presently around 7 million Arabs in the territories of the Jewish ancestral land, of which about 2 million are Israeli citizens. I'm gonna go with the anti-Israel narrative for a second, which claims ALL of them are occupied and oppressed by Israel (even though they're not). In order for the ruin of Palestinians to be indeed on the same level, that would mean 70-80% of them would have to be murdered by Israel during the war. Let's go with the lower percent, so it's easier for the anti-Israel crowd to reach the number of deaths that would support their claim. To have killed 70% of 7 million, that would mean Israel would have to kill 4.9 million Arabs in this so-called "genocide." Even if we exclude Israeli Arabs, and only focus on the 5 million Palestinians living in areas where the Israeli army currently operates (imagine the German Nazis allowing Jews safety inside Germany, and only killing them outside it *eyeroll*), that would mean at least 3.5 million Palestinians killed. But after almost 5 months of this war, the number of Palestinian fatalities, as claimed by Hamas, is around 30,000 people (I'm putting aside the fact that at least 12,000 are Hamas terrorists). The gap between what is happening, and what people who make this false comparison are implying is happening, is incomprehensible.

Sorry for the length, but I hope this is helpful!

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

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navstuffs · 1 year

Text

Emptiness

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader

Summary: You are dead, and Leon wonders why he is still alive.

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, long one-shot, leon is suicidial, suicide attempt!!, leon is depressive, MAJOR ANGST, abuse of alcohol, some usage of y/n, cigarettes/smoking, leon is a mess, SAD SAD SAD!!!, leon is suffering a lot, lots of pain, NO HAPPINESS!, dates in italic count since reader's death

Author's Note: idk, except i am sorry i like to make the characters i love suffer and share that on the internet? i made my husband read this, and he doesn't care about leon whatsoever, and he ended up upset for him at the end so you can imagine how this goes. i have more happy leon's fanfics, you can check it out here!

PLEASE, PROCEED CAREFULLY, AS THIS FANFIC DESCRIBES SUICIDE, SUICIDE ATTEMPT, DEPRESSION, AND ALCOHOLISM.

If you have been struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, you are NOT alone! Here is a link for tumblr support for some helpful information, depending in what country you are! Seek help, you are loved, you are strong, you are wanted!

3 months, 27 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes

The first thing Leon notices when he wakes up is that he is cold. He isn't wearing a shirt, and for some reason, the blankets covering his body look dirty with some unknown substance. He groans, throwing the blanket on the floor. He still wears the jeans from last night, has no shirt on, and doesn't smell well.

The second thing he hears is his phone's ringtone. It had to be Chris. Or Claire wondering if he is alive. He sits up, his hand rubbing his face as a way to make the headache less.

The third thing Leon notices is his hand resting in the empty space of the bed. Your empty space on the bed. He gulps because he hasn't touched that part since returning to the house. He raises his hand as if Leon contaminated the area, the last pieces he had of you.

Leon glimpses under your pillow a very familiar black shirt. One of the ones he gave to you. Leon doesn't remember grabbing it last night. He holds it, checking if he got dirty, but the shirt seems clean. Leon takes the shirt to his nose, smelling it.

His phone rings a second time breaking his trance. He gets up from the bed and sighs when he sees the nightstands filled with beer cans. You would have hated that.

When he finally finds his phone on the bathroom floor, Leon's headache worsens when he sees Chris's name.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck Leon, I was on my way to your house right now. You scared me, man."

"What do you want?" Leon isn't in the mood to talk, especially with Chris.

"Claire told me she went by your house last night, and you weren't there. She says the motorcycle wasn't there. Have you been drinking and driving again?"

Leon rolls his eyes. As if drinking and driving was a big problem for him now.

"Okay, mom, if that is all, then."

"Look," Chris sighs, and there is a long pause before he speaks again. "There is a mission. If you are still interested."

Finally, Leon thinks. He has been begging for one for weeks now, and Chris has always said "no," "next time," or "we shall see" due to his mental health situation.

"Yeah. When?"

"I will send you more details when I have it. Look, Leon, I just don't think you should—"

Leon hangs up without letting Chris finish. He scrolls through his lost calls, mostly all of them being from Chris and Claire. A few from Jill when she was trying to help. It got too much for her as well. Leon scrolls down even longer, finally finding your name.

Almost four months ago. Has it been that long? Two last calls.

As a ritual he repeats every morning, Leon clicks on your name, hearing the call go straight to voice mail. Precisely as he wanted.

Hi, this is Y/N, you tried to reach me, but I can't take your call now! Leave me a voice message, and I will contact you as soon as possible!

Beep.

-x-

4 months

Jill Valentine is sitting in front of Leon inside the jet. She hasn't looked at him once inside the plane as they are being taken to a contamination site. Her eyes are distant, her form is tense, and Leon maybe thinks that time can't cure it all.

"Preparing to land," They hear in their radio communications. Leon rechecks his gun, wondering without significant interest if any of that would ever end. When he looks up, Jill is observing him.

"You ready for this?" She asks with a mild tone of curiosity in her voice.

You knew Jill longer than you knew Leon, actually. You were her best friend before becoming his lover. Jill had given Leon all the solemn talk of "Don't fuck up with my best friend, or I will kill you." After your passing, Jill had become somewhat like a ghost in his life. She tried, Leon wonders, if not for you, to give him support in the first two weeks, but Leon knew deep down she blamed him.

And she was right.

"Yeah," He answers.

Jill nods. The last time she had seen Leon, he was miserable. With the longest beard Leon has ever had, bloodshot eyes, hair a mess, drunk, and the smell of cigarettes around the house. She told herself she would try for you, but it wasn't easy to see Leon like that. And after she said you would hate it if he smoked inside their house and Leon grunted that you were dead and never coming back, she left without looking twice.

She never understood why Chris and Claire continued. Maybe because they knew him longer than they knew you.

The plane finally lands in a safe space, and they exit. It is in an abandoned industrial area this time, and they might have survivors who live nearby and might need help.

"Do not fuck this up," Jill warns.

"I won't."

-x-

1 month, 1 week, 2 days, and 5 hours

Claire Redfield is knocking on Leon's door. It is way past dinner time, but she brings pizza. From your favorite place. Claire knows he won't have eaten anything since Chris kept telling her Leon is losing weight. Since your death, Claire has tried to help Leon out as much as she could because she knows that is what you would have wanted, to no avail.

"Come on, Leon, I have pizza! I know you haven't eaten today!" She announces.

That's when her sixth sense starts beeping. All house lights are off, which is strange: Leon either left the TV or any light on. Leon didn't like the darkness. Claire tries to open the door but is locked. Leon never locked the door since he was back for this house. With her heart racing, Claire goes to her bag and grabs the reserve key. She shares one with Chris, and they both trade every week. Leon doesn't seem to care, not that he cares about many things lately.

She enters the apartment to complete silence. No sight of him anywhere.

"Leon?" Her voice is distant, as her hands are looking for her gun. Maybe someone invaded and got him? Perhaps something else—?

The air escapes from Claire's lungs when she sees Leon. Hanging from the ceiling.

"Leon!" She screams, running fast to hold his legs. She doesn't know what she is doing, she is calling for help, she is trying to get a chair, she is trying to hold his legs up so he can breathe. Claire doesn't dare to look up.

With one sudden decision, Claire gets her gun and shoots three times at the rope. Leon's body drops, and he is pale as a ghost. She kneels near him, feeling his pulse. There is still one, very light, but there is one.

Without thinking twice, Claire starts CPR, Stayin' Live by Bee Gees, in her head. She knows Leon will hate her for this, but she can't fail this. She would have hated herself, you would have hated her.

"Come on, Leon, come on." She begs desperately as she compresses his chest with all her strength. When Leon finally breathes, a small vigorous one, Claire is sweating on her clothes. She sighs, relieved, sitting down on the floor, drained.

She grabs her bag and finds her phone to call the emergency number, asking for an ambulance. That her friend attempted suicide. She gives them Leon's address, checking for his breathing. When Leon opens his eyes, he is confused. The last thing he remembers is kicking the chair away, the air escaping slowly from his lungs. He looks around, finding Claire's face in his peripheral view. She seems to be crying, her hands on his chest.

His blue eyes find hers, and Leon looks with hatred in her direction for the first time that Claire doesn't recognize him. She feels tears form in the corner of her eyes, and her lips shake, but she holds them back.

"I have called an ambulance," Her voice shakes, and Leon's stare carries so much weight that she must look away.

-x-

1 month, 3 weeks, 8 hours, 2 minutes.

The hospital door opens, and Leon exits, carrying his duffel bag. After staying confined for almost two weeks, he inhales the fresh air. Those two weeks, instead of helping, just made him feel worse. Much worse. With no alcohol, no cigarettes, nothing, Leon had no way to forget. He woke up and went to sleep with your face on his mind.

Going through what he did wrong. What he could have done right.

He feels the pain sting his soul, thinking about your smile. Fuck, he needed a drink. He needed some sort of dubious mixed-up cocktail. The stronger, the better. When he looks to his left, he sees Chris Redfield standing.

Sighing, he walks toward Chris. Leon knows he won't be able to run away. Chris has a worried stare as he gets closer. To be honest, Leon thought he should have hated after what he did to Claire, but no, Redfield still manages to give him a small smile when Leon gets close.

"Hey."

"Who told you I was going to leave?"

"Mhm, the hospital? You are in my care for the next couple of weeks."

"I am going home." Leon starts to walk away from him, but Chris's arm stops him.

"No, you are not. As I said, you are in my care. And if I need to drag you to my car and make a scene in front of all those people, I will. What do you think?"

Leon hates how Chris can look like you so much regarding his care. Always to drastic measures, you both could say. Pretending to have given up, Leon holds his hands up as a sign of defeat and follows Chris to his car.

"Is...Claire okay?" Leon mutters as Chris starts the car. Leon can see Chris hold the wheel stronger than he should, but the moment passes, and Chris answers.

"She is worried sick about you. She has been...busy, that is all."

Leon knows that is a lie. He had seen Claire on one of the visitations day, and she seemed upset like she had been crying every day since she found him. Leon felt guilty Claire was finding him (he thought someone else would) and was outraged when she saved him. And he ended up lashing out at her. When Claire tried to argue during the visitations that is what you would have wanted, Leon roared that he never wanted to see her again.

To be honest, Leon is relieved. One less person for him to hurt. Chris, well, that one was hard. Leon knows he isn't giving up that easily. Especially after the last thing he said to you was that he would protect him during a mission.

"No, no, Chris, you don't understand, he bikes around without a helmet and thinks that is super cool? I mean, how old is he again? You better keep your eye on him, if I am not around. Got it?" You asked, winking in Leon's direction. He knew you were teasing him, but Chris's tone was serious when he answered.

"Loud and clear."

In the first three weeks after your death, Chris was there. He rummaged through the house, taking everything Leon could use to harm himself. Leon's guns were the first to go, Leon didn't know how he discovered the password, and honestly, he didn't care. He just woke up a day with them gone. Knives? Gone. It was like Chris was baby-proofing the house.

Leon would have lost much more weight during that time if it wasn't for Chris insisting on him eating. Or hydrate. Warning if he got too weak to take care of himself, Chris would have made sure to strap him to a bed and kept him there against his will.

"There are cigarettes in the glove's compartment," Chris says, cutting his line of thought.

Leon looks at him with suspicion before opening. Chris wasn't lying. There is even a lighter there.

"You smokin' now?" Leon asks out of curiosity.

"No. I bought those for you."

Leon lights up a cigar, opening the window. The rest of the car ride goes silent, and when they finally arrive at Chris's house, he turns off the car, sighing.

"Look, Leon. I am not very good at this, and you know it. You will stay with me as long as you want, but I can't keep you a prisoner in my house."

Leon observes him, and Chris takes the courage to finally say it.

"No one wants you dead, Leon. What happened to Y/N, it wasn't your fault. And you need therapy."

Leon gives a humorless laugh, opening the door of the car.

"You are not bad at this, Chris. You are terrible at this."

-x-

4 months, 1 day, 5 hours

Ada Wong is good at her job. She does what she is paid to do when she needs to do it. No feelings attached, except, well, when Leon Kennedy is involved. It had been like this since the events during Raccoon City.

And then, suddenly, you appeared on his side during the events in Spain. You were something else, for sure. Standing by his side, remaining strong, although that was your first mission, or so Ada heard. And facing up her, determination in your eyes. Ada found you adorable, perfect for Leon. The loyalty, in your eyes, was something she could never demonstrate.

The man in front of her now was just what once was Leon Kennedy, her..."ally" from the other side. Ada had to admit she was shocked when she first saw him, barely recognizing him. Leon had big dark bags under his eyes, not as strong as he once was. And there was...no life in his once vivid blue eyes. Nothing.

"Ada Wong. Doing something for yourself again?" Leon asks, his voice monotone.

Ada was used to his hostility, mistrust, and even anger. But not that complete apathy, a complete lack of emotions. Leon Kennedy was dead, she was confident, and he died when you did.

"You know I don't share my secrets, big boy," She says, her tone the same as always. "But we can always find common ground, as we always do."

Leon nods, and Ada tells herself she shouldn't care, she shouldn't ask. But she has never seen it like this, and this Leon frightens her.

"I have heard about Y/N. My condolences."

Leon's eyes go wide with surprise. He looks at Ada as if she has just arrived from outer space.

"Is this one of your schemes? 'Cause if it is, cut the crap, I am not in the mood."

"It is not. I heard about what happened." Is Ada Wong really showing empathy? Leon blinks, surprised, but he shakes his head. No, it has to be one of her tricks. Since when did Ada start caring about him?

"Shut up, Ada. Do not mention this ever again. We are here for a mission, nothing else, nothing more. Stop pretending you fucking care." Leon's voice is low, and Ada doesn't say anything as she watches him walk in the dark corridor before her. She has known him long enough to know when he is being serious, and she knows he is threatening her life now.

Ada sighs. The Leon Kennedy she once knew, was gone. You left a carcass behind, a damaged man for the rest of his life. Ada still remembers the last thing she said to you, before she disappeared.

"You are truly special. Take care of him."

-x-

1 minute

"Is Mr. Leon Kennedy speaking?"

Leon stops when he answers his phone to a strange voice.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Mr. Kennedy, this is from McKenney Hospital. Could we speak with you in just a moment? Are you busy or driving?"

"No. Hospital, you say? What is going on?"

"We just need a moment of your time. Do you know Y/N L/N?"

Leon's heart starts bumping against his chest.

"Yes. What about it?"

"Y/N L/N was involved in a car crash today, sir. At this moment in time, they are doing surgery on them."

"What? No, excuse me, ma'am, this is some mistake."

The gentle voice behind the phone silences as she listens, Leon saying you weren't involved in an accident. It was impossible. You were coming to have dinner with him later, you were going to forgive him, you were going to be back together just fine. When Leon shuts up, the voice speaks again with much more compassion.

"You are tagged as their emergency contact, Mr. Kennedy. How long can you get in here—"

"I just fucking told you, lady, that is impossible, they are coming to have dinner with me, we are supposed to reconnect, and you aren't listening to me!" Leon screams the last part, punching the counter before him and making all the glass bowls in the counter jump.

The compassionate voice waits to speak again in a much more determined tone.

"Mr. Kennedy, I suggest you come to the hospital, not alone. Come with a friend. We will answer all your questions and concerns when you get here. Just don't come alone."

Leon turns off the call, pissed. How can the lady be so stupid? He told her over and over again you were on your way to his house, your house. Leon had been cooking the whole night, preparing your favorite dinner. After that, he would never let you away from him ever again. He breathes deeply now, trying to ease the tremors on his hands, when he lets his eyes wander off to the TV, a news broadcast about a terrible accident that happened. Some drunk driver caused this accident that involved a with a truck oil tank, and five people were killed. Many injuries reported.

Without thinking twice, Leon grabs his motorcycle's keys.

He doesn't know how he got in one piece in the hospital. Something inside him tells him to call Jill, Claire, Chris, or someone, anyone, but he doesn't. The hospital's entrance is chaotic, with most victims being taken there since it was the closest location.

Leon asks your name to the front receptionist, and they say they are operating you now. The lady points to the waiting room area, where Leon waits. Leon had felt fear many times in his life, but nothing compared to this. He knew you were strong. Stronger than him, actually. You were brave. You were getting out of this.

Because he didn't know how to live without you.

Leon observed families getting good and bad news for what seemed an eternity. The death toll climbed to more two people, a mom crumble in the doctor's arms due to the loss of his son and husband. Leon was praying, begging for some higher force or anything for you to live.

He would never drink again. Leon Kennedy would never let the darkness inside him win and let you go. He would never doubt himself or his ability to love. No, Leon would love you even more intensely than he already did, more than anything in his life.

Leon takes a while to get up when the doctor finally calls his name. He feels sick, his stomach is twisting. He counts nine steps until he gets to the doctor, a lady with scrubs and an indecipherable face.

"Mr. Kennedy, do you want me to take you to a more private room?"

"Tell me."

The doctor sighs, looking directly into his eyes when she says.

"We did everything we could, Mr. Kennedy. I am sorry they didn't make it."

No.

"I am sorry, Mr. Kennedy, I truly am."

No. NO! NO!

"Mr. Kennedy, please, don't, I am sorry. Can I get some help over here? Please, don't do this!"

It takes six or seven security guards to stop Leon from destroying the waiting room or even hurting someone. He is crying, he is begging, he is losing himself. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. It was unfair: not after everything he had done or everything you went through together. He always told you he needed to die first because Leon knew damn well he couldn't live without you. Leon has a hole in his chest that will never close again. He feels someone pull his sleeve up, a pinching sensation, and Leon falls into darkness.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy fanfics #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy imagines #leon kennedy angst #leon x reader #leon x you #please dont hate me too much #but i had to :(#someone give reader to leon back please #i almost cried at the end of this I SWEAR

918 notes · View notes

rou-luxe · 26 days

Note

please elaborate on the grandpa clavis bc I don't know much about Alfons, so idk what to think about that 😭

hEHehEhhAaAaHAHA LET'S GO I HAVE PERMISSION TO GET THE IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD (cracks knuckles) I love them both

analysis under the cut spoilers for Clavis, light spoilers for Alfons

I kinda quit Alfons route early to go to the English server release because my brain is too lazy to translate everything 😭 so this is just from what I know about him. this is doomed to be inaccurate 💀

warning this gets off topic in some places because my analysis ideas carried me a bit too far because I love them

The central point is that they both use pleasurable experiences to ignore reality. Alfons focuses a LOT on the pleasure part of that, as seen from erm his lack of sleep and mentions it plenty in voicelines. Alfons also applies this philosophy to people other than himself. Alfons sometimes protects MC from uncomfortable realities, like the scene where he and Ellis kill someone, and uses his power to convince MC that it was just a play (Kate LOVES plays).

As seen from his profile, Alfons heavily resents pain of any sort. I already forgot when exactly (chapter 4 premium avatar challenge?), but at some point, MC is crying and he consoles them before you know- this is just an assumption, but I think he doesn't want any sort of emotional turmoil in those close to his heart. He keeps reassuring Elbert that he is much more beautiful than MC without hesitation. Not only is he making sure MC is safe and doesn't get in a horror-esque story (nervously looks at Elbert trailer), he's also making sure that Elbert doesn't get jealous to the point of performing taxidermy on a person... because the events leading up to that would hurt them both. This makes Alfons feel so kind and considerate ngl 😭

Clavis wants to be loved by all. The game sometimes describes him as "lonely" - this is likely because he was overshadowed by Chev as a kid, and because he felt so shaken by his mother's death that he needed attention from others to feel more complete. It also connects to his pranks. He wants to feel something, anything to pretend he's not dying inside. Whether the attention he gets is positive or negative, at least he feels something.

It's mentioned quite a lot in his path that the more pained / scared Clavis is feeling, the more he smiles. It's sort of his coping mechanism. By smiling, he can pretend everything is alright (HIS MOM 😭😭 I'M GONNA FUHGKING CRY SHE MUST'VE BEEN SO SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL AND Cybird I want to see his mom).

He also does somewhat force MC to be around him, but it's not in a Silvio way, it comes off more clingy to me. He's been left alone, abandoned so many times, that he can't bare the pain of loneliness anymore. And thus we get dragged to his breakfast parties. Another coping mechanism. Clavis gets to spend time with MC every morning, gets to cook for her (...it's the thought that counts) and terrorize a couple of his half-brothers... just to forget it all. Clavis even escapes from his prison cell just to see you, the light of his life. (I love him)

"Sylvatica" comes from the scientific name for "forget-me-not". This one is completely an assumption that seems rather unlikely, but perhaps like Clavis, Alfons wants to be remembered somehow.

I can't remember if this was legit or not because I've been scrolling through Tumblr too much but I remember seeing a post that went something like: "Alfons has MC sign (something) papers because after he dies, his curse will make him forgotten and he just wants something to prove that he loved MC" or something. (That post broke my heart so bad.) Is that why he's called a "phantom"?

In summary:

They both have their own ways of ignoring reality, and they are both up to trickery (especially when it comes to MC). Both endulge in enjoyment, it's part of their lifestyle. doesn't necessarily refer to seggs but it does sure sound like it

I'm not quite sure where Alfons' ignorance originates, but all Clavis wants is to be loved. Give him the love.

Okay onto the shorter sillier theories because my heart can't take this

Clavis' epithet is "The Pleasure-Loving Beast", and Alfons' is "The Hedonistic Thrill-Seeker".

Clavis likes tricks and teasing, and so does Alfons. Though Clavis does that MUCH more often.

They also act like they're fucking around but they actually know what they're doing.

They pretend to be worse than they are 😭 (omg shakespeare too... is that my type... 💀)

Others have made this remark before but Alfons feels like a darker Clavis + more unhinged

They both like to cook. And eat. And they both have stomachs of steel.

sword

They both have bad handwriting. Clavis is notorious for this, and Alfons says he has bad handwriting in the first letter of his path.

Fuck I forgot I had science homework due tomorrow

edit: I forgot another one they both are self-described "gentlemen" 😭😭

#rouanswers #roubrainrot #routheories #clavis lelouch #ikepri #ikemen prince #alfons sylvatica #ikevil #ikemen villains

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imsoquarky · 5 months

Text

Hi, Hello, I need to talk about Bruce

This beautiful man right here <3

IDK how much of this to consider spoilers for Trolls Band Together, so I'm doing all of it!

♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️ SPOILERS FOR BAND TOGETHER ♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️

Y'know, Branch's purple haired brother who's my favorite of his brothers for a few different reasons that I'm about to spew onto Tumblr at an unreasonable hour?

Okay so, Bruce is my favorite, and I think it's bullshit that the wiki calls him Spruce despite that not being his name anymore.

Trans headcanon? Maybe. Anyways!

I love how Bruce is written for many different reasons, I also love how he's handled when it comes to his body type.

1 minute before going on stage, JD says he expects 100 more crunches before show-time, which is insane considering Bruce (I know that's not his name at this point, but that is what we're calling him) has already done over 500, and 100 crunches in 60 seconds? I don't think that's even possible.

Ofc this is who JD is as a character, BUT THIS POST ISN'T ABOUT HIM, he's just a walking ick.

I can't imagine this kind of treatment, which is implied to have gone on for quite some time...

...would give anybody a positive view of their body. I'm not going to add things on to make JD a worse person, even if I don't like him, but from what bits and pieces we do see, he puts more emphasis on Bruce's physical body than any of his other brothers.

For his other brothers, it's more about their clothing and personality presentation. Bruce? The emphasis was his body, abs specifically.

It's not like he wasn't proud of them, but I feel as if they were another thing that still connected him to JD. All the brothers changed things about themselves that JD put emphasis on (Except Floyd, ig?).

But I'm straying away from the point I was trying to get to.

By the time we see Bruce again, he's lost the abs and put on some weight. However, this is not treated as a bad thing. Which I absolutely adore.

He's still perceived as attractive!! No jokes about "letting himself go" or even any jokes about putting on weight because he got married or whatever.

He's not muscular anymore, he's more laid-back and lives on VACATION ISLAND FOR FUCKS SAKE! He doesn't appear to have such a rigorous work-out routine anymore... Except his kids. I'd say having children 3 times your size would be intense.

Speaking of his children...

THIS MAN HAD THIRTEEN CHILDREN??? My man, why

But I digress.

Also, not only is him being plus-size not treated as a joke or a negative thing, but

HE STAYS THAT WAY!

Genuinely he makes me so happy, you guys have no idea. I love him.

Anyways, some smaller tid bits that I love about Bruce~

THIS MAN'S HAIR <3 <3 <3 <3 I will explode. ALSO THOSE BANGS AAAA

Him and his wife ughhhh <3 They're so goddamn cute.

Also we have a similar taste in women, which is "tall".

There are too many screenshots of his kids I could share, but I love dad Bruce.

This fucking quote.

It lives rent free in my brain and I laugh like a child every time I hear it.

Probably my #1 favorite quote from the entire movie I laughed so hard

Look at how cute he is here

Him looking so proud of his baby brother

Anyways it's 1 am and my alarm is set for 7 so ima go to bed. I have negative points about Bruce too that I do wanna touch on at some point, but I just needed to dump all my love for him.

This is my coping mechanism for finals week.

#trolls #trolls dreamworks #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls bruce #clem's rambles

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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Am I the asshole for how my previous 'situationship' ended? (I genuinely do not know what to call this situation so that's gonna have to do).

Okay so I (20F) met a guy that we will call Chris (21M) on tinder in Oct 2022. We were at the same uni, and we had good rapport over text, so we decided to meet up. He was pretty awkward but once we actually got talking he was a good chat. Nothing romantic or sexual was discussed/acted upon.

We hung out a few times after that. I kissed him once after a night out, which he didn't reciprocate or ever mention again. Given the complete lack of romance/sexuality coming from him, and the fact that he is a very socially awkward person, I took the hint that he wasn't interested and didn't know how to tell me. I felt that i made the fact I was interested clear and he hadn't taken me up on it, so I just dropped the subject. We continued talking as friends, and I genuinely thought that's all it was.

Come Feb 2023, I went on a night out with a different group of friends, during which a friend of mine, we'll call Tom, kissed me. I nearly had a one night stand with Tom, but I ended up not sleeping with him and just going home because I was too drunk. Being drunk and cringe, I made a pretty crude post to my tumblr before I passed out which was something like "someone is actually attracted to me? Nail me to a wall!" (Long deleted because drunk me is an embarrassment lol).

I woke up to texts from Chris, who had seen my tumblr post and was upset. I was pretty confused because 1. He doesn't even use tumblr, 2. I don't remember ever giving him my account name but it must have been in a screenshot at some point, and 3. I was not under the impression that we were dating... I let all that slide like an idiot because I was really hungover. Chris and I then had a chill discussion about what we were, and agreed to be friends. Cool! I thought that was the end of the drama. We chatted and hung out afterwards with 0 difference to how it had been before.

Cut to May, and I sent him good luck wishes before an exam. He says thanks and I just didn't think about it again, normal exchange.

Over three weeks after I'd wished him good luck, I woke up to a wall of text he'd sent me at 3am where he went into detail about how i had strung him along and wasted his time; that he thought I was manipulative and playing "mind games" with him for that good luck text, which he took as me trying to psyche him out before the exam and make him fail the module; that he didn't want to 'just be friends anymore' because the knowlege that i strung him along hurt too much; that I "ignored him as he walked past" (I still have no idea where or when this happened, I straight up did not see him wherever it was). He also went into detail about physical and mental health issues he'd been going through (that I wasn't aware of before the wall of text) saying that I'd been a great help with them during first term, then "ruined his second term". He went off that my lack of communication skills is a detriment to everyone around me.

I was completely blindsided by all of that, and honestly really hurt that he'd accuse me of trying to make him fail his exams, but I'm not sure that he's not got a point? Looking back, yeah maybe I should have straight up asked him if he was interested back in Nov. But idk I'd say kissing someone is a pretty fucking clear communication that i was interested, and he made 0 reaction to it, what was i supposed to think? I'm not in the habit of pushing people when they do nothing in the way of reciprocation. But, one of the issues he disclosed to me was that he had gotten an autism diagnosis in April and I can see how not being 100% clear and verbal in my communication may have been the root of the issues here, given that he was undiagnosed autistic for most of the time I knew him.

Anyway, was my lack of communication an asshole move?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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jiminiepabo · 1 year

Text

BTS As Your Best Friends

I was feeling inspired by my BTS As Your Boyfriend series, and I wanted to give yall a cute little friend moment! 💕

Comtains: Fluff, that's about it lmao

This is only with the maknaes, but the others will come soon!

°+~♡~+°

Jungkook-

THIS MAN....

Devious asf 💀💅

He actually will not shut his fucking mouth, bro will call you up at 4 in the morning to talk to you about how his day went

Lowkey invites himself to your place unapologetically

Very juvenile, in a good way. Like sleepovers with snacks and movies and pillow forts

THE GOSSIP KING 👑

And he will fill you in on all the bangtan tea

He's the type to make pinky promises not to tell after he talks hella shit abt someone 💀

Not that he talks hella shit that much, but the occasion that it happens, expect a lot to come out of his mouth.

Very good listener tho, if you actually have an issue, he's gonna be there for you

Definitely tells you way too much about his dating life...

He also falls asleep on you, so get used to it. he's an affectionate bitch, what can he say? And with all the sleepovers yall are having, he can't help it

Okay but tell me why I think he'd love playing hair salon with you 👀

One of his downsides as a friend is that he's a fucking celebrity and has a shit ton of other people to interact with and other places to go

So don't expect too much from the poor guy, he's got a lot on his plate.

Recently we found out that he vapes, so he for sure needs a vape buddy

ALSO

He is SO GOOD at dating advice

Whoever you're into, he will be right there planning your wedding on a pinterest board.

Expect lots of singing in the car

In all, jaykay is fucking hyper but he's a great bestie to have

Taehyung-

Tae is your deep ass convo kinda guy

Like yeah, he's fun asf, but damn he's just built to talk about deep shit with you

If any of these friendships are likely to turn into relationships, it's gonna be with Tae

He just loves love 😭

And honestly, as he should

And I'm not saying that you return the feelings, but you are the one reading a Bts imagine on tumblr... 🤷‍♀️

Besides the fact that he lowkey has a crush on you, you'll probably be at his house more than your own

I can see him just talking and talking for hours on end with his bestie while you chill on the couch with a TV show playing in the background

Probably has a cute nickname for you

Like if you're short, he calls you shorty. And if your cute, he calls you cutie.

IDK MAN IM BAD AT THIS 💀💀💀

But he'll come up with something cute

Your contact name in his phone will probably be something along the lines of "my wife" or "wifey"

Or smth stupid like that just bc he likes you 💀

And he won't tell anyone either, he just unironically talks about you all the time, nothing suspicious 👀

Expect chaos when he's drunk tho

He goes WILD

It's fun though, seeing him being smiley and not contemplating the complexities of life to you

Your man is weird asf but you gotta love him

Jimin-

Someone needs to calm him down and give him a massage or smth

Because when I tell you...

JIMIN IS THE FLIRTIEST HOE EVER

He doesn't even like you, it's just jimin being jimin

Very sweet tho 🥺

He seems kinda awkward about giving advice bc he doesn't know exactly what to say, but he'll listen really good

Also, no offense to jimin, but he's a mess.

He's so caring that he likes someone new every other day istg

And he'll tell you all about it and it's the cutest thing ever watching him have so much love for so many people

May or may not have mid-life crises during the night and come over to drink alcohol and pour his heart out to you

He's a people pleaser so be a good friend and encourage him or compliment him a lot

He will most likely flirt with you in return but it secretly makes him feel reassured so just take one for the team

Probably will give you fashion advice tbh

And he's an icon so you let him do his thing

I think he'd like doing things like drawing or painting or dancing as an activity with you

Like it's fun to do, but it's quiet enough for him to talk about his problems

This is so sad but I feel like he projects a very happy image but he doesn't always feel it inside

He may struggle with self image and dependence on others

So he needs you to be his anchor to hold him down and tell him he'll be alright

And he'll do the same for you, don't worry.

°+~♡~+°

Hope you enjoyed! The hyung line version is coming soon! 💕

My requests are open 😘

#bts #bts scenarios #bts reactions #taehyung #jimin #boyfriend #yoongi #jungkook #namjoon #jin #suga #bts scenes #kpop #kpop boys #hoseok #hobi #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #jungkook x reader

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morpheus-the-sandman · 6 months

Text

The blog is open now!! :D

Info I might. Change some stuff here and there just so you know!

TW staring in the drawings at the bottom ⏬

Hello im lazysimpluna or you can call me Luna or Finley

My carrd

Other

More about me down⬇️ in this blog pls read everything thanks!

im not good at writing and my grammar isn't that great so forgive me for typos :'D I also didn't used Tumblr as much so I'm still learning things

Important none of the stories are Canon to clowns og project!!

the main aus that are mentioned here are the

Sandman au/ Morpheus or morph that's how most call him he's a bat demon he's there to give the children good dreams and comfort them protect them he lives in his smol dimension in the middle his tree where he lives in with Noah, his brother fushigi, ivy, and hoshiko / personality : he's sweet, caring, comforting his presence his inviting like a soft bed like you're getting tired and all yk but he can also be chaotic he loves to be crazy with his friends and do random funny stuff he's also very adventurous he loves to take a look around at places he wanders around alot of aus when he has time to he's interested in other aus that aren't dangerous or anything he loves to hang out and all so you might find him sitting near where you living at watching the stars!

Monsterbed au / crow is there to protect the children he will be under the bed or in the closet well most likely under the bed he doesn't like the closet very much / he can only speak in chirps outside his au when he's back in his he will speak normally / his au is a dreamcore au / personality : is still in work I didn't quite explored his personality yet but I would say for now that he's sweet and protective of his loved ones

SH wally ( I call him that now idk I feel like it's better then father wally) actually idk if I keep that name if you might have better names let me know I suck at them XD / anyway he's there to take in children in need let's say morph finds a child that has abuse going one or something else like it lost its parents ect morph will ask that child if it wants to come with him he doesn't force them but he if a child declines he will still look to take action and get them to a better place then in the human realm if a child says yes morph will take them to sh wallys realm and leave them there for sh wally to take care of them once they grew up they can decide if they want to leave back to the human realm or stay with wally/personality : not developed yet but he's very calm and patient that's all I can say!

Ugly duckling wally aka Noah he's morphs adoptive son/ personality : sweet, playfully, joyfully,

Hoshiko/wish wally he's also morphs adoptive son / he travels trough different aus grading wishes depending if a person deserves the wish he can see it in thair hearts if a person deserves it or not / he floats mostly in the air but obv he can also swim in water /personality : still in development but I would say he's quiet energetic, has lots of energy, he does like to mess around with someone, he's playfully and teasing,

Fushigi and ivy not alot to say here fushigi is there to defeat bad dreams ect like morph is he's morphs real brother / ivy is his best friend even tho ivy doesn't want to admit to that , fushigi found ivy while defeating bad dreams ivy was different from the other nightmares he seemed alone and seemed like he actually didn't liked to be feared and all so fushigi took him in / fushigi likes to Crochet stuff / personality of fushigi : still in development but he's sweet calm patient, ivy's personality : also still in development all I know is he's grumpy, teasing, likes to mess with people,

Comfort star / she's there traveling around aus to comfort everyone when they need it at any time when they try to sleep or whatever it might be / she has problems with feeling things she can't feel things so she might sound or act numb at times but she trys her best her sister is always there to help her with it her problem with not feeling alot is also why she often comes back with cuts ect bc she feels numb both emotionally and physically she does not feel pain so she would often be rather at morph or wherever to get stitched back up / personality : still in development but she's playfull, sweet

Letters from felix/Yeah I added another AU I have for a while idk why I didn't added him when I first did this blog but he travels trough dimensions too so I trough why not he's silly and is adventurin trough dimension and he writes letters to his human he's inspired my letters from Felix the series the bunny Basacally my childhood :3] personality : chaotic, he loves to mess around, playfully, adventures

Shooting star

She's like a help for traveling inspired by the cat bus from totoro uwu she acts pretty much like a cat and can't talk she be meowing and purring but she understand you!

And also morph father the uhh good home in this story I didn't drew him yet but he's basacally just like og home but a smol house that follows morph around

!! Boundaries!!

Yes you can

✅ make fanart absolutely tag me please!!!

✅ Shipping? Yes ofc but please only ocs sonas or yns.

✅ Im also okay with interactions trough I can't promise I will do all of them I mostly do what I feel like and if I don't feel like it I don't do it it also might take a bit

Donts❌

Please no applecest no wallycest no proships!!!❌

No nsfw with these aus mentioned here!!!❌

Don't do Ai bots of my aus I'm doing alredy bots but it takes a bit I get really exausted after a bit of working on bots like I get sleepy and all it takes a bit I know I'm working on them for quite a while now but still have patients I'm also not an expert when it comes to bots I'm still learning!! ❌❌❌

Don't message me privately if I don't know you please if I know you for a bit from my comment section you can ask me if you can message me and I might say yes , please have patients with me I don't feel comfortable calling you my friend so soon so I just call you a mutual if I know you for a longer while I might call you a friend! I had a really bad experience with an ex friend of mine I knew since my childhood and that left marks , I might get easily overwhelmed or exausted so I might dip or don't talk at all please don't feel like I'm ignoring you or anything I'm not I'm simply not feeling like talking or it is to much at that day for me!❌❌❌

🌟Things about me that are important 🌟

my pronounce are she/her, he him, im genderfluid and aroace, bisexual, ❤️

I have auditory processing disorder or called

(APD )

Wich makes me slower I might forget alot of things or I also have hearing problems sometimes like when somone calls me it doesn't end up in my brain I'm also very sensitive so sounds loud notices specifically

I also take a while to understand things so be patient with me

(HSP ) I am a highly sensitive person

I also have social anxiety

I'm really sensitive like I would say emotionally there are often times where I do take things too serious or something please tell me talk to me about those things if I understand stuff the wrong way

I'm 22 years old and German

I only speak English and German I can't speak other languages

I have 29 aus by now I might add more depending on what ideas I get ( idk for sure I know I have alredy alot and I didn't even developed alot of them enough I do want to put an line to it but I can't I love creating I love making it makes me happy so just be aware XD when I decide to do a blog for my other aus that I might not post alot about those depending on how I'm feeling ( maybe I post more when I get asks idk)

Fandom I'm in atm

Welcome home

And poppy playtime

I hope you have a wonderful time here!! :3

🌟Refs of my sillys🌟

#art #artists on tumblr #artwork #digital art #welcome home #welcome home au #welcome home artist #welcome home arg #morphthesandman #askmorph #wh multiverse

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amethystfairy1 · 1 month

Note

Hi there, new anon here bc I don’t use tumblr like, almost ever. apologies for the rambling about how I love ur AU’s that’s incoming. Or if I did this wrong. Idk how to use tumblr.

Ok SO, I’ve been following your AUs on AO3 for the past few months and first of all, love it, I love your continuity with metaphors or specific descriptors that span across works, like Grian’s banded wings, glamor as heat haze on tarmac, scott having hair like spun sugar, just AUGHHHH so good I love. Little details like that make me as a writer and ofc fanfic enjoyed foam at the mouth. It’s so vivid I can picture it in my mind, I love the eclectic feel of the undercity, the mechanical lore things like wagons in Traveling thieves or rail carts and labs in TTSBC! Don’t even get me started on the peice about Doc and Etho in the depths, that one is so so good.

And your phenomenal foreshadowing? Like first read through never guessed that avian at Fremeere’s was skizz, but I went back after your recent upload and wow it totally is! Or how first read of TTSBC I never thought the two directors were the same because I hopped around in the reading order, but now it’s wayyy too similar! And now I get why a past and long dead antagonist would have such a specific and recognizable speech pattern… eerie. I love it. Can’t wait to learn more about that storyline!! I wonder how much Tango knows about Doc’s history with the labs and if he realizes the connection after talking with Zedaph. Zedango my beloved! Or just tango content/lore in general hehe. (Also, I find it humorous that Grian and Tango’s boyfriends have almost the same trauma as their dad, lol) Also, love how close the characters are to being reunited in Traveling Thieves!! They’re so close!

Anywhoo, just stopped by to say that Cub is litterally providing scar/Hot Guy with weapons in Scar’s new episode, only to see that you already saw that ofc. I was litterally kicking my feet and squeaking about it bc it’s just like TTSBC and your AU makes me so genuinely happy to read and has me in a chokehold. But the rocket arrows?? That are Hot Guy brand color coded! And expensive and I can see character!Cub being exasperated about scar’s trigger happy use of the rockets in the same way he doesn’t call the lab the Hot Cave, hehe. Or Scar showing off to Grian that he’s not the only one who can shoot sparkly projectiles!

so yeah, ik you already saw that, but i wanted to share that it’s so perfect for TTSBC or else my brain would not leave me alone lmao

DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLES

I LOVE RAMBLES!!!!

I'm so glad you love my little tells for the characters! Heat haze on tarmac, hair like spun sugar, stuff like that just feels like it helps make a certain trait pop and so I try to make sure every character has at least one of them! I'm so glad you enjoy the mechanical ascept of the AUs! Both TTSBC and TT have their own little things, moving parts that keep the worlds going!

I love trying to layer in foreshadowing when I can! Skizz appearing, but I purposefully didn't tag him as a character because, thanks to avian culture, he doesn't use his name, and so it's not until we get to see from his POV that we actually get confirmation that's him!

I have no idea what you're talking about with the director, tho, because she's totally dead! She died 24 years ago during the Anarchy! Any odd vocal ticks and specific dislikes for hypothesis is completely coincidental and should be, should be, should be disregarded. 😑

They do, don't they? Whoops. I guess Doc has a lot to relate to when it comes to his future sons-in-law, huh?

CUB IS THE GUY-IN-THE-CHAIR CONFIRMED!!!! AGGGH!

Thank you so much for your rambles I absolutely loved reading them!!!! 💖

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #through the sky blue cracks #traveling thieves au #worldbuilding

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cookinguptales · 7 months

Text

*pacing*

Okay, so let's start with the assumption that the cookie is a red herring. I do not believe for a second that they weren't making a cheeky little wink at the audience when they had them talk about literal red herring while talking about that review.

I'm not saying that I think Donna didn't poison him, I do. But the cookie isn't what killed him, and they're all just assuming that both attempts were made by the same person.

I think we're really down to Cliff and Tobert.

Tobert is just... god, he's so suspicious. lmao. It almost feels heavy-handed if it's actually him?? But I wouldn't put it past them, either. All that stuff about how murderers try to join investigations, the breaking and entering, him giving Mabel all that technology (which might give him access to her investigation), him always showing up right at important moments, his fight with Ben right before the show... It could still definitely be Tobert.

But... Cliff is still a possibility, too, I think. He's still such a weird little wild card, honestly. Who knows what that Oedipal man might do if he finds out what his mom did? Or if he finds out about the reviews himself? And we still don't have a super clear picture of his relationship with Ben. We've seen Ben snapping at him a lot, but... hmm...

I went back and rewatched the scene where Ben comes back and Cliff doesn't seem as thrilled to see him as he probably should be, all things considered. I will say that much.

But that phone call that took Ben out of the room after his return and before the elevator shaft... I forgot about that call... Big Tobert vibes with that call, though I can't... remember if they ever followed up on that. I know Mabel asked Dickie about it, but he dodged the question, and... did it ever come up again...? (Help me tumblr juan whoever the fuck you are, you're my only ho.) But it was a person who wasn't in the room who Dickie recognized, and it was a name that made Ben's smile fall right off his face. We know that Ben fired him before the show and he said that Dickie "ended his contract" after Ben's death, but...

I just can't think of anyone else who'd call and make them both look so serious, y'know? Like maybe he had compromising footage or something...? idk.

#I'm still puzzling through my thoughts haha #I should do a rewatch before the finale clearly I can't remember all the details #might be a fun thing to do on the plane to seattle #omitb #omitb spoilers #only murders in the building

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half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk · 3 months

Text

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 23 !!!

I'm back batchers rip my sleep schedule lmao but nothing can stop me from watching tbb

I've got my skittles and my tumblr and disney+ and I'm ready to go 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x03

this entire planet looks like it's made of spice

nervous imperial you're not fooling anyone my dude

Tawni Ames 👑 shoutout to the queen herself Tasia Valenza 💕

CORUSCANT !!!

CROSSHAIR 🥺🥲😭💕❤ I missed you sm (I watched s1 hours ago 🤫)

another Kallus parallel 👀

regs will always hate tbb lololol

Rampart 🔫😁(me, I hate his guts)

32 rotations... 32 ROTATIONS I- 😫

the empire are bitches and we don't negotiate with terrorists

the memorial wall 🥲 (we're gonna pretend it isn't a bunch of random letters hehe)

a few behind Crosshair literally say: sdflkphi, dkniihqaz, aweututn, qqhgouer ~ anyone know more aurebesh than me who can explain this pls ??

he called him by his name !!!

CODY CODY CODY CODY 💕💕💕💕👑👑👑👑

Cody's face when Crosshair mentions the jedi 😭

the only two without their helmets on !!!

FLASHBACK TO THE FIRST BAD BATCH APPEARANCE IN TCW 👀

"mmhmmmm" ~ battle droid, bro 💀

"Dooku was right in the end" real

"We always get shot down when we travel with regs" 👀

"How unfortunate... for you" ~ someone else said this and now I can't find it 🙃 anyway I'm pretty sure it was Crosshair idk

the droid high five lmaooo

clever boys 👑

Crosshair and Cody team up will never fail to make me happy 👌

"I've beaten clankers with far less" tbb mention 🥲💕

Cody trusting Crosshair 🥰 "you do make things interesting" I'd love to see early Cody + tbb missions pretty pretty please 🥺

my mans doesn't even flinch !!!!!

I can feel his smirk when he blows up the tank hehe

Cody has a jetpack and still went nah Ican make that jump 😂 I mean he did but still

Cody complimenting Crosshair 💕

WYLER AND NOVA OWN MY HEART FR

droidekas !!!

Wyler r.i.p my love 💔

There is just something about clones vs droids ya know

Crosshair and Nova silent communication I love it 👌

Cody screaming for Nova and Crosshair pulling him away 😭😭😭😭

r.i.p Nova my beloved 💔

Crosshair's discs !!!!

backflip !!!!

knife knife knife knife knife- 👀

Crosshair calling for Cody to help 🙃

KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE-

Crosshair putting the puck in Cody's hand - bro at first I thought mans was too injured to move the way he was like 'throw it for me I can do it from laying down in this spiral staircase' and he makes the shot and stands up 2 seconds later and is back to committing war crimes ?? Crosshair you dramatic bitch 💀

"nice throw" "nice shot" 🥰🥰🥰🥰

notice how the tk troopers got captured so they send clones to get them out.... 🙃

Mina Bonteri 💔

"peace was never an option" devastating

the clone music when Cody reasons with Tawni 😫🤧

Crosshair following orders but also saving Cody from having to kill Tawni

the Crosshair music 🥲

"so much for peace" 💔

"put her body in the square" but I can imagine how gentle he would have been with her body... do you think he left his helmet off so the people could see his face or did he cover his face for that

Ok I want to go full english teacher for a moment I'll do it in a few eps watch this space 👀

Crossy and his lil toothpick 💕 (he just murdered someone)

the clones did the dirty work now more tk troopers arrive 😡

Cody's whole speech 💔😭 "we make our own choices and we have to live with them too" knowing he's thinking about everything he's done and thinking he killed Obi-Wan... what if I screamed into the abyss ???

Crosshair not being able to sleep 😫

Rampart doesn't even know their names 😡

OKAY do we think "gone awol" means Cody has actually left or is he awol the same way Wilco is??

COME ON CROSSHAIR JUST LEAVE THE EMPIRE ALREADY 😫

hehe thank you for coming to my 2am tbb rewatch (again hehe) 💕 sorry it's late again if you saw any spelling miatakes no you didn't 🤟

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aphrodite1288 · 6 months

Note

Idk if you still perceived them as a toxic relationship, I'm the one who thinks that the most healthy thing in a relationship is communication so I really doubt ksoo get enlisted bc he wants to and not telling anyone about it, I mean exo is a thing, his relationship with jongin is other, maybe he didn't tell the other members but Ji is something else in his life plus his dad just died almost a year ago. I kinda understand your point and your theory about ji's depression cus his disease is a fact told by him, but speculate everything is all about ksoo fault its fck toxic. Depression is not something you experienced from one day to another and can be caused by so many accumulated reasons that took years and years to understand and ksoo must know that tho do u think he's that cruel and go to the army without a reason knowing Ji could be really sad about it? Kai must know that before anyone else so he could have time for processing and plans to do tgt but is normal still be fck sad after ksoo left and having therapy is a completely smart thing to do, that doesn't mean they had a huge fight

First of all, all what I said is not my perception, not my opinion, it's what I've been told from everyone: from K-EXOL, to our sources to the insiders who know SM staff or worked in SM and from Exo themselves told about this issue. And guess what? They know better than you. They're closer to him than you would ever be.

Sorry if it can't fit your narratives and feed up your fantasies.

Kadi just like any other couple aren't perfect they have their ups and downs and they certainly have their own flaws. Calling a relationship toxic just by one argument is wrong of you. This is not wonderland I think you should go seek medical help if you think like this.

You're the one calling them Toxic for not having a communication not me!

Ask your parents, I don't think they've never fought in a relationship of 2 decades at least.

I don't know if I'm allowed to share this info, but fuck it, I hate when dumb people who think they know their faves start calling us liars.

Kadi in 2022 in March exactly, they were on a massive fight and had a break again and they even went to Couple Counseling and the old Fans of this Tumblr from the Instagram group know this already. I've seen kadi's name on their Couple Counselor's Chart with their names and IDs, it was a bad thing from that Counselling company as they sold the Info to Sasaengs easily, K-ExoL, when they saw Ji and Ksoo going there frequently alone separately were curious why were they attending couple counseling sessions? Do they have issues with each other or with someone else they know ? And hence they followed them dug into the subject and discovered this and unfortunately the info was leaked. Remember when Ksoo went to Hawaii alone? Well it was during that period of time they were on a break.

Couples fight dear. It's normal ! And most of the couple fights occur because of LACK OF COMMUNICATION.

So yeah ! Expecting a couple in a relationship of 14 years won't have any miscommunication or a fight is so dumb of you. We don't live in Wonderland ! This is life! Have you ever been in a relationship have you watched BLs and Couples movies haven't you seen couples hurting each other and crying and breaking up despite being in love??

, t

So same for Kadi, they can hurt each other, misunderstand each other, Do things to each other, TAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH E/O! Take decisions in a moment of anger ! It's normal it happens and this is what Ksoo did and unfortunately it's true and it was a no-going-back issue becos that's with the government it's military application. He himself regretted it later because he missed many good Movie offers and opportunities at that time, even his managers and SM's production team told him he messed up he acted in a moment of anger at that time, and going on hiatus due to military in the Epitome of his career is a very bad move and he was told that by Veterans and his friends in the industry and he admitted it to movie producers and Management teams in SM, and.it was a famous discussed subject. No idol wants to go on military hiatus when they're on the epitome of their career, but instead until they settle things down first then they go. Because Many idols and actors get a little forgotten and may lose their popularity after military due to the hiatus and some DON'T! which is why you see Baekhyun and all idols always anxious telling their fans "Please don't forget us! Promise you'll be here when I'm back! It won't take a longtime! I'll be back before you know it!" " think of me all the time when I'm absent" and Baekhyun was smart enough and was the very first idol to have filmed Content for his fans to be outed every month it was so smart fans didn't even get to forget him.

So moral of the story: Kadi aren't perfect. And you should know Honey that YOU DON'T KNOW KSOO !! The idea you have on him is not 100% what he really is like! Y'all tend to glorify and shape idols in a perfect mold and put them on a pedestal as Sacred people who don't sin or Do wrong. Honey 😂 your Ksoo Oops isn't a Saint! He makes mistakes!! Remember you're just a fan! You don't know him personally to keep saying he can't do such things and that it's not his character 🤣 blah blah blah who are you? His mother?

Listen I'm just really tired of explaining everything to dumb people here. I don't care anymore, I say the info I have which I didn't create myself, I just report what I've been told and confirmed with Evidence, believe what you want if you don't wanna believe, leave it and leave.

Don't come up here and force your opinion on me, because we're not here discussing opinions, I'm giving you an info most of the time "A FACT" means something that actually happened and was proven to me, so I'm not here discussing it with you wether it happened or not and what you think about it, I don't care what you think , the thing happened years ago and that's on Period. I'm not gonna go back in time to discuss with you how it should have happened.

#kaisoo #kadi #kaisoo love #love #dika #kaisoo love story #jongin #kai #kyungsoo #D.O #kadi are a normal couple they can fight and break up

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ashsostrange · 8 months

Text

hey y'all so i wasn't initially planning on talking about what rashad posted earlier today bc it's literally all bullshit, but i might as well! i’m not actually tripping over anything that’s going on. if anything, i’ve been laughing my ass off all day at this foolishness.

this is gna be long as hell, so don't even grab popcorn, i suggest a five course meal.

for some background, rashad became mutuals w this girl. right off bat, he’s making hella race jokes ab this girl being white. i b doing the same, but with my FRIENDS. people i am CLOSE WITH. and i don’t over do it because that’s lame and annoying. anyway, she eventually stated that she was uncomfortable and rashad blamed his behavior on the fact that he was on pain meds. she eventually blocked him and told one of her mutuals, and to rashad, that’s her “spreading rumors” about him. he did the most on his page and in ppls inboxes crying and complaining, saying he was gna eat glass and shit.

so now let’s look at his fuckass post:

number one, how can a rumor be started about you if nobody.. knows you? like, you are not a celebrity. nobody talks about you. and nobody was talking about you “being on drugs” other than the girl you made uncomfortable and her two mutuals. i know you send yourself anons too. you make it seems like anyone actually cares about your “hot takes” for some strange reason. don’t even try to deny it, bc there’s no way you’re getting more anon msgs than my friends with larger platforms than yours.

you’re also messier than a mf, sending your own mutuals anon msgs. me and lia know you were the one sending her anon msgs bc she blocked you, and you know it too! talking ab how her username is “corny” then reblogging the posts of her clocking your ass??? acting like it wasn’t YOU.

you tried to turn two writers who were already arguing against each other even more. we sat there and defended your ass even though you were the anon the entireeee time. you made a post saying “war has begun” to try and get us to attack bree’s friend. your weird ass stayed in that girl’s inbox after i told you to block her instead of doing the most. you’re lame and you’re bored.

it doesn't matter if you tagged her or not, you still said it. sliding into sb's inbox and telling 'em you're going to eat glass bc you made someone else uncomfortable is ABSURD. it doesn't matter if it isn't my drama, if i see bs ima say something, and there isn't a thing in the world you can do about it. your "rants" are a form of guilt tripping/manipulation. you're trying to victimize yourself and make us feel bad for you. well, we do not! i checked you once on discord. you said thank you. you said you were going to make an apology, but in that same “apology”, tried to justify your actions. i clocked that and unmutualed you. you then went to lia talking ab some "tell ash i said thanks for checking me" nd now you switched up. your thanks was revoked. all of a sudden, you're the victim again. all of a sudden, i’m ableist?? okayyyy niggaaaaaa 👎 boooo

you say you're "blocking me for your safety" when i wasn't even planning on talking ab your lame ass again. i won't baby you about your behavior because you're not a goddamn baby! and yes, you CANNOT be the victim every time. you bitch and whine on your page when you get into it with somebody, and unless we're defending you, you don't want us getting involved! it doesn't work like that. nobody else was calling you out, so me n my girls did.

idk why my name stays steady coming out of your mouth. my "daily activities" that i "broadcast" are what i ate for lunch/dinner and complaining about school. you run your mouth about all sorts of mess. you put every aspect of your life on your blog. we are not the same, so don't even try to make it seem that way. the people on my blog that i don't talk to outside of tumblr don't know everything about me. you cry in people's inboxes unwarranted and say explicit shit with tw's in your TAGS. i'll say what we're all thinking, NOBODY IS TRYNA SEE ALL THAT!!! coming from someone who struggles with mental health, venting on tumblr will not do anything for you. these people are not licensed professionals. invest in a diary, don't you have a boyfriend to vent to?

you are quite literally the only one looking for drama. we never defended that girl bc we don't know her.. we know you though. and you were venting about catty, but i never said ALWAYS, so don't lie in my face like i'm stupid bc i'm not. ion know what you thought you were doing with the last part, but god bless.

i am a good person my nigga, i don't need confirmation! i know who i am. if you're debating suicide because you're confused about something, you just need to get off the mf internet bro. it’s never that serious. you're not gna sit here and tell me you were debating suicide bc me n my girls put you in your place. you made your own mental worse by refusing to take accountability.

he also made an edit saying he has nowhere else to go… if you have nowhere else to go, then i'd be happy to buy you a damn journal so you can write in there and leave the rest of us the hell alone. and there isn't shit to be sorry about bc you're not putting jack shit on me, all of it is on you. you wna be everything but wrong. 🚶‍♀️should’ve just kept it cute and kept it quiet.

allat being said, good riddance, r*shad. leave me and everybody else alone! and if you fw him, then there’s the door 👉🚪 good riddance to you too.

#ash spills 🌺#rashadisoverparty #LMFAOOO #you were dealt w #don't try it again lil nigga

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squigglywindy · 1 year

Text

Squiggles' Cousin Plays The LU Name Game

So, my cousin. Y'all may know her as the person I referenced in an ask game once as the only person who knows I'm on Tumblr. I am exactly 31 days older than her and we have been inseparable for life, but she knows nothing about LU. She knows that I like "that one comic called something about Zelda" (rip she was not paying attention) but that is it. She hasn't played any games or seen anything about LU. Just know she can be a lil inappropriate and I edited her a little but, y'know. It was funny.

I will call her Gertrude because it's...well, it's what I call her. But it is very much not her name, it's a dumb joke I like to tease her about that no one else uses so I think it's a safe pseudonym to use.

So I messaged her today and was like "hey you're playing the name game I'm sending the pics tell me what you think" and like the good cousin that she is, she played along. I screenshotted some of what I thought were absolute quality frames from the last few updates and ran with it.

It went something like this...

Gertrude: ✨Alligator Warrior✨

Gertrude: Frog

Me: You have got to be more creative

Gertrude: Okay. Sir Henry Hop if you're gonna be picky

Gertrude: Sir Edgar Fair Legs. He looks like a fairy, but it's not fairy legs. It's Fair Legs

Gertrude: Sir Edgar Fairy Legs Jr. This one is actually a fairy

Me: You can't do two Edgars

Gertrude: I CAN IF THAT'S HIS SON AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT IS NOT EDGAR'S CHILD

Gertrude: Big eyed fairy boy that has attachment to blanket. His name is um...Sir Lucy. But he is known as The Boy With An Emotional Attachment To A Blue Blanket

Gertrude: You if you were a cartoon. Idk Edgar I guess

Me: THEY CANNOT ALL BE EDGAR

Gertrude: OH! OH I'VE GOT IT! SAD SAM!

Gertrude: Oh. Oh so they're fruity fruity.

Me: Gertrude please

Gertrude: Squiggs look at them. That's a whole fruit basket I have never seen a fruitier human and I love them

Me: What is his name

Gertrude: Idk he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips though. Um. OH I KNOW! FRUITY FRED!

(And then she sent me a video of her demonstrating what she thinks he walks like and it was hilarious and unfortunately includes her face so y'all just know it was quality and involved a lot of hair flipping)

Gertrude: Oh that's Mark

Me: That's it?

Gertrude: Yeah he's just Mark

Gertrude: OH. OUGH. OFNDJKFDSHJKFDS. UHHHH. SEXY EDGAR

Me: NOT ANOTHER EDGAR

Gertrude: HE IS SIR EDGAR FAIR LEGS' YOUNGER LESS SUCCESSFUL BUT SEXIER BROTHER HIS NAME IS CAMERON BUT EVERYONE CALLS HIM SEXY EDGAR

Gertrude: Wowza. You know what Doja cat said about big noses

Me: Gertrude focus

Gertrude: His name is definitely Samuel. Samuel Elk Boy. He can turn into an elk

Gertrude: OH GOSH. SO MANY THOUGHTS AT ONCE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS KID

Me: THIS IS MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED TREAD CAREFULLY

Gertrude: Bowling ball looking eyeballs. He's adorable but my gosh he can see noises. He can see the sound waves. He can find my potential in life. Damn 👁👄👁

Me: GERTRUDE

Gertrude: OKAY I'M SORRY. IT'S BILLY. BILLY WITH THE BIG ASS EYES

Gertrude: Oooh a girl. I know she could kick anybody's ass. AND cook up a storm. MRS. EDGAR

Me: WHY

Gertrude: If she's not married to Sexy Edgar she should be. She deserves it

Me: Let her be her own person. Give her a name

Gertrude: HE TOOK HER NAME, FOOL. IT'S HIM THAT DOESN'T HAVE ONE

Gertrude: Sexy Wolf. Mrs. Edgar turns into this wolf

Me: She does not

Gertrude: She should

Me: Thank you for participating you did terrible

Gertrude: Yeah whatever I'm still thinking about those big ass eyes they saw things I didn't know existed

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mrs-monaghan · 1 year

Note

Hello, just wanted to say I love your blog and your opinions are really valuable to me! Now, asked this to another blog which opinions also I value about Jikook, because, like you, they work with the truth, and not delusions. Saying this just in case you see the same ask on another blog, it's only because I really like both of your opinions.

That being said, what do you think about the time when pictures of Jungkook hugging and going out with his female tattooist god leaked? Now, don't get me wrong, I know that time was very hard for Jungkook because of the unjustified hate he got for it, and I know just because a boy and a girl hug/interact doesn't equal to them dating (esp. with annoying ppl in this fandom where jk can't even BREATHE without ppl creating rumors that he's been dating 50 girls. I mean, did you see the crazy rumor about a rich blonde girl from Qatar? Lmao its CRAZY)

But, I really want to know about your opinion on this. Do you think they were just friends? Someone said that they weren't drinking alone in that restaurant. Or do you think Jikook were broken up at the time and they had a thing?

I think, that you are trying to pass yourself off as a Jikooker and anon,

Do you think they were just friends? Someone said that they were drinking alone in that restaurant. Or do you think Jikook were broken up at the time and they had a thing?

I would much rather talk about what happened after that. Here are some of my favourite moments from Bon Voyage season 4.

JK saying ILY then looking at Jimin immediately after

This one no one ever talks about. But someone said Jimin had arrived and the way JK immediately looks and perks up! Omg!! 😭😭😭

And he doesn't stop staring at Jimin either. He'd really missed his baby. Also the way he perked up reminds me of this popular moment when Jimin calls JK Kookosan and we get the happiest smile from JK that turns us all to mush.

I could have sworn JK was younger than Jimin. So idk why Jimin treats JK like he's the hyung

IYKYK 😌😌

JK saying Jimin's name as J.M and writing the same down.

I don't need to remind y'all his ink was still new so you're the delulu one if you think JK doesn't know what the letters on his hand look like.

We always talk about JK bringing the snow. But we don't talk enough about JK sitting by the snow waiting for Jimin to come out. We don't talk about how eager he was to show Jimin what he got him. How quickly he stood up all excited.

And the smile on his face as he watches Jimin's reaction is everything 🥺🥺🥺

And yes, I do think this may have been to make up for the scandal even though it wasn't JK's fault. Also if u notice JK is very subdued this season and Jimin was looking after him alot. It's why satellite Jimin was on an all time high in BV sn 4. Haters really put JK through the wringer but I'm glad his man was able to be there for him.

Hand holding to take a picture and JK removing his glove so it can be skin on skin. Feels 😩😩

Jimin drooling over how bad ass JK was for jumping upside down. You bet your ass he loves this side of JK.

This right here is a favourite of mine. (I have more but damn u tumblr and your image limit) They're in New Zealand. Beautiful, gorgeous country. They get directed to a place with a beautiful, beautiful, insane view. All other members are watching this view and admiring it. Meanwhile JK's view:

And he stared for a long time. The camera kept panning out and JK was still staring. If you truly believe JK is not in love with Jimin, then idk what to tell ya.

Anon, Jungkook is in love with Jimin, is committed to Jimin and Jimin only. Has only ever had eyes for Jimin, has never strayed and most probably never will. He's in this Jimin shit for life.

Period.

#anyway thanks for stopping by #jikook #kookmin #insecure jikookers #minkook #jimin and jungkook #bts #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts ask #ask shaz #bon voyage jikook #jikook analysis #jikook is real #jimin #jungkook #whipped jk #whipped jungkook

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