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harrysfolklore · 2 months

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Harry Styles Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED

this was posted on my patreon a few months ago, enjoy ! MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

"Hi I'm Harry Styles and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview."

Harry introduced himself to the camera and you smiled, you were currently at WIRED Studios for Harry's long awaited autocomplete interview that he finally agreed to do thanks to yours and his fans persistence.

You were sitting behind the camera with the rest of the crew, watching him with a small smile.

A crew member passed the first board to him, he looked at it confusedly for a minute before speaking.

"Okay so. I'm answering what I think or what?"

Everyone in the studio laughed and the director quickly explained to him how the game worked once again, you rolled your eyes with affection and he sent a wink your way.

"Alright, how is Harry Styles?" he said after taking the little piece of paper off the board, "I'm good, I'm really enjoying being home in London, I was away for a while on tour and I'm going to stay here for a bit so that's exciting."

"How did Harry Styles," he paused to rip the next paper and reveal the rest of the question, "Become famous? Well, when I was sixteen years old I auditioned for a singing show called The X Factor, I got put in a band with four lads and we didn't win but we put out a song called What Makes You Beautiful," he smiled for a second, "that one put us on the map, we released a bunch of albums and now I'm here."

"How did Harry Styles meet his wife?" at this, he turned his gaze to you to give you a big smile, you immediately mirrored his and nodded your head, signaling that you were okay with him talking about it.

"We could say that it was basically a blind date, we had a friend in common who thought we would be a good match and set us up, we had an amazing first date but then I had to travel to Los Angeles for work so we couldn't really see each other after that but once I was back in London we hung out all the time, and now we're married."

He smiled at you again and you couldn't help but feel your heart melt, you had been married for 6 months now but the married life was still new for the both of you, and everything he called you his wife butterflies made its way to your stomach.

"How is Harry Styles still alive?" his eyes widened in surprise and he looked around the room, making a few present laugh, "Um, that's a weird thing to search on the internet, but I guess, I don't know if I can answer that, I don't think anyone can answer that we're just lucky to still be around and enjoy life."

He gave the camera one of his infamous "frog smiles" and handed the board to a crew member who was ready with the next one.

"Does Harry Styles have tattoos?" he revealed the first question of the new board, "Yes, he does. I have a lot of tattoos actually, they're basically all over my body. The most recent one is right here," he pointed at the back of his right arm, "It's my wedding date, actually, everyone might call me a sap but I was reserving this arm for tattoos about my wife a and future kids, so I guess it's finally time to fill it."

It was safe to say that fans watching at home and everyone in the studio absolutely melted, especially you.

"Does Harry Styles have siblings? I do I have a sister, she's older than me and her name is Gemma. A lot of people claim she's cooler than me for some reason but I don't thing that's true," he shrugged and revealed the next question, "Does Harry Styles speak Italian? I would like to think that I do, I spend a lot of time there and I've learned how to communicate pretty decently."

"Is Harry Styles an actor?" he said after peeling the first sticker of the new board, "He tries to be an actor that's for sure," he laughed and everyone in the room did as well, "I mean, I've been in a couple of movies, I've auditioned for a bunch of roles and my agent has sent me scripts to go through," he shrugged "So I can say that makes me an actor."

"Is Harry Styles american?" he shook his head at that one, "He is not! He's Britain, born and raised okay? He's very proud of it."

"What's Harry Styles BeReal? I don't have a BeReal, but if I did I wouldn't tell you," he pointed to the camera jokingly, "What are Harry Styles fans called? I think they are referred to as Harries, but I don't like to speak on behalf of them, you should ask them."

"What was Harry Styles first song? My first song was Sign Of The Times, I wrote it with friends that I love, and that is my wife's favorite song I've ever written, right love?"

"That's correct." you said from your spot, pretty audible so you know it would make it to the final cut of the interview.

"What are Harry Styles songs about?" he peeled the last sticker of the board, "They're about a lot of things, life, friends, love, my wife," he shrugged, "I even have one about the female orgasm."

You quietly giggled, knowing that his fans would go crazy over that last sentence.

"Did Harry Styles go to college? He did not, he became a singer."

"Did Harry Styles win a Grammy? He somehow won Album Of The Year last year, which is absolutely insane if you ask him."

"Did Harry Styles finish high school? Oh I'm glad the internet asks," he laughed, "Contrary to popular belief I did finish high school, I completed my GCES and I graduated, I don't know why there's a rumor there that I didn't finish high school tho."

"Anyway, last one!" he comically threw the board to the floor and grabbed the final board a crew member was handling him, "Who is Harry Styles best friend? Um, I have a ton of best friends. Jeff who's also my manager, Mitch who plays in my band, my childhood best friend's name is Johnny, so yeah, I'm very lucky in the friends department, I love my friends."

"Who does Harry Styles look like? My mom, I would say. A lot of people point out that we have the same smile," he shrugged, "My mom is a beautiful woman so I'm flattered."

"Who did Harry Styles write Love Of My Life about? My wife and London."

"And final question," he slowly peeled off the sticker for dramatic effect, "Who does Harry Styles love? Okay, that's cute that people search for that on the internet, um, I love my family and friends, I love my wife that's for sure, I love making music and performing," he listed with his fingers, "And love love, yeah, love is great."

He smiled to the camera and put the board aside to say his goodbyes.

"I thought my Google searches were much more appropriate that I expected. I was fun to see what people wonder about me, so yeah thank you WIRED for having me."

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georgia-stanway · 2 years

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#mygoalie

#james belshaw #if hugo did this I'd have a heart attack but belly is quite good at it #we're manifesting a win here lads #Bristol rovers

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misshoneyimhome · 5 months

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Hello! Thank you for providing all of this Willy content! 🙏🏼 if requests open is it okay to request this prompt “ You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough last night?” with Willy?

You’re very welcome love ❤️ Yes yes yes! 🙌🏻 🔥 Just a heads up, this has really no plot to it, and is just pure sex and more sex 🙈 I apologise that I didn't get to write more to this...

Warnings: 18+ smut; unprotected sex (p in v);

・✶ ｡ﾟ

“You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough last night?” ⚡️

The clock ticked away, the scoreboard showing 3-3, as overtime had everyone perched at the edge of their seats, the tension filling the air.

But then, the vital moment came.

With finesse and speed, William Nylander deftly manoeuvred past his opponents, effortlessly guiding the puck with his stick, then swinging it high, and stirred the puck pass the goalie's reach and into the net.

The entire arena erupted in a symphony of cheers and applause as the Leafs clinched the victory with a mere 30 seconds remaining.

And amidst media duties and locker room celebrations, players' families and partners lingered outside, patiently waiting to congratulate the lads.

One by one, players emerged, sporting wide grins after the nail-biting win.

And eventually, your boyfriend also came to appear among the last to exit, as always. His handsome Swedish features lit up with a contented smile, well aware that he had secured the game-winning goal.

"Hey, babe,” he greeted you with a kiss, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

"Hey, why the confident look, love?" you asked, letting out a light chuckle.

"Oh, just excited about the win, and now we're going home to celebrate."

Feeling the growing excitement between you, you understood his intentions – a post-win tradition.

"We better get going then – can't do that here," you flashed him a sweet smile.

"Well, it worked fine last time," William whispered in your ear, planting a gentle kiss on your temple as he held you close.

"That was a one-time thing, and we nearly got caught, remember?" you nervously chuckled, recalling the close call that was both embarrassing and yet thrilling.

"Oh, I remember it all, babe," he said, satisfaction evident in his tone as he playfully raised his eyebrows.

"You're terrible... Let's leave before you get more ideas," you laughed, gripping his hand as you both left the Scotiabank Arena.

And getting home didn't take long, as William skilfully navigated through traffic, perhaps pressing the accelerator a bit too hard, but your hand on his thigh acted as encouragement. Playing with fire, you lightly massaged his inner thigh, getting close to his slowly growing member while he tried his best to focus on driving.

In short, the car was parked quickly, and William practically pulled you out and into the elevator. Once you got to your floor, he hurriedly took you into the apartment, and with laughter and smiles, you both removed your coats where then William hoisted you over his shoulder, playfully giving your ass a good slap, as he made his made to the bedroom, where he settled you down.

Clothes were quickly scattered everywhere, and neither of you bothered with being romantic nor gentle. Your mouths met passionately, sharing breaths and kisses eagerly, as hands explored every inch of skin, touching and caressing.

And without hesitation, you came to straddle William as he lay down on the bed on his back, gently stroking his throbbing cock between your folds, seductively coating his length with your juices.

"Fucking tease," William muttered, desperately wanting to feel himself inside of you, while you took your time enjoying yourself, and teasing him just enough to cause him to gently quiver in anticipation.

However as impatient as he was, he then firmly held onto your hips, taking charge, and you couldn't help but smile. You loved how excited he became, especially after a win like tonight.

And feeling your own cunt pulsating and craving his touch, you yielded to his eagerness, lowering yourself gently onto his cock, letting him fill you deeply and reach that satisfying spot inside you, only he could.

"Shit, Willy," you moaned, breathing deeply, as his hands guided your hips to move in rhythm with his. Using your hands for support on his chest, you passionately rocked your hips, letting him slide in and out of you.

"Yes, just like that," William moaned, feeling the tightness around him, as he stimulated your clit with his thumb, making you arch your back and let out a louder moan.

Even though the sex was quick and both of you knew it would end sooner than usual, it was still full of raw desire and longing for each other.

It worked perfectly; sometimes you engaged in long, passionate lovemaking, while other times, like tonight, it was more primal and didn't require any romantic words.

"I'm about to come, Willy," you gasped, feeling the sensation building as his thumb pressed against your sensitive pea of nerves.

William loved this position, as he was able to watch your expressions while you rode him, while despite seeming like you were the one in charge, he knew he held all the power. And with a few more movements, you let yourself go, releasing your orgasm, feeling the rush of intense sensation wash over.

Following the intense climax, you nearly collapsed onto William, but he quickly supported you and flipped you both over, initiating a more vigorous pace.

Your intense orgasm had you tighten around his cock, urging William closer to his own release. And with his forceful and deep thrusts he made your body surrender, your mind lost in the moment. William's intense movements hit all the right spots, leading you to a second orgasm.

The handsome Swede above you was covered in sweat, as he was nearing his climax, and after only a few more forceful thrusts, William let out a deep groan and reached his peak, releasing himself into your heat.

"Fuck baby," he breathed heavily, as the sex had been nothing short of passionate and intense, leaving both of you catching your breath. And it took a few minutes before you both regained composure, and William gently pulled out and laid beside you.

In all your time together, your sexual chemistry had never been boring. Teasing was a regular part of your dynamic, and tonight, William had let loose after you pushed his boundaries just enough.

Your bodies always seemed to sync effortlessly, and there was never any awkwardness between you.

And tonight was just one of those quick yet intense nights after a victory.

So, after a quick wash, you both slipped back under the sheets, cuddling until you drifted off to sleep.

As morning dawned, the lingering sensations from yesterday's intimate escapade still tingled through the bedsheets. And glancing at the man sleeping beside you, you couldn't help but admire him. His steady breathing rose and fell, as you gently ran your hand over his chest. Knowing your boyfriend well, a mischievous idea popped into your head, and you ventured your hand lower beneath the sheets only to confirm your suspicion – he wasn't wearing anything.

And he had a noticeable morning erection.

The naughty thought excited you, causing a tingling sensation down between your legs, and with a smirk, you cautiously began to stroke his shaft.

Knowing William was a deep sleeper, you knew it would take a little while for him to awaken, and in your mind, this was the perfect way.

Resting your head on your arm, lying on your side, you took a gentle hold of his cock and started to stroke it gently.

Soft moans then came to escape his lips, and you sensed he would soon wake up, as his eyes twitched under his closed lids and his hips shifted slightly.

It brought you pleasure, feeling aroused by the act of waking William up with your touch. And before long, he slowly began to stir from his slumber.

Again, soft moans were let out from William as he gradually felt the pleasurable touch on his member. And opening his eyes, he was met with your mischievous smirk and intense gaze.

"Morning, babe," you greeted softly, playfully biting your lip, and William couldn't help but be amused by your teasing way of waking him up.

"Good morning," he responded in a rough, husky morning voice, as you slowly stopped stroking him. "Quite the wake-up call."

A faint smile appeared on his lips as he relaxed, resting an arm behind his head.

"Well, I was intrigued by something hard," you teased with a grin.

“You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough last night?” William chuckled.

"Hmm, maybe not."

Your playful response instantly ignited something within your boyfriend, and a broad grin formed on his face as he shifted to hover over you. He then leaned in, pressing his lips firmly against yours, catching you off guard and leaving you breathless. Instinctively you tangled your fingers in his hair, drawing him closer.

William’s stiff cock gently nudged your inner thighs, teasing your core just enough for you to whimper into the kiss, earning you to break it.

"Willy, please," you pleaded, your voice filled with desire.

"So eager," William chuckled softly, as he shifted his position, leaning back onto his heels, lifting your legs and placing them over his shoulders before he leaned over your body, pushing himself deep into you.

Your loud moans filled the room as he hit your most sensitive spot, before he established a steady rhythm, pulling out and thrusting back in with strong controlled movements of his hips.

This position was William's second favourite, offering both intensity and intimacy between you both. Your pleasure-filled cries were uncontrollable, encouraging him to increase the force and speed of his thrusts.

Following the pattern from the night before, William was deeply buried in you, his hips thrusting deep and hard, letting you know just how good he could fuck you. As the little tease you both knew you were, had him only more motivated to show off, and you were turning into a complete mess underneath him. You couldn’t even keep track of your number of orgasms as his determined pounding kept on going, sending you into a world of ecstasy.

"Yes, baby, I'm gonna come,” William moaned loudly, and you could only echo a similar response.

With his hips slapping harshly against yours, William let out the same grunt as the night before and once again coated your walls with his white liquids, making sure to empty every drop into your deep.

And as the euphoria faded, both of you were left catching your breath, and William grinned mischievously.

"Still horny or have you had enough?" he teased.

You chuckled, purposefully tightening your walls around his cock.

"Oh, baby, I'll never get enough of this.”

#my asks #18+#william nylander imagine #toronto maple leafs imagine #wn88 imagine

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saintsenara · 1 month

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you're like the only person i've seen on here from northern ireland who actually loves northern ireland - what do you think makes it so great? (really sorry if this seems rude, i'm just interested in how the opinions can be so wildly different)

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

my online presence as a northern ireland stan account is mainly caused by holding the following opinion:

it is an unfortunate truth that the moment you are clocked in most other places in the anglophone world as being northern irish [usually after having been compelled to say the word "how"], people like to offer you their views on the place.

these views aren't always negative, but they always - especially if they come from people who consider themselves part of the irish diaspora [and my st patrick's day sermon to you all is "irish-americans, learn to stay in your lane"] - relate to a northern ireland which doesn't actually exist. people might cast us as uncivilised fools living in a 1970s time-capsule of unrelenting violence, they might cast us as a great bunch of lads bouncing around feeling the derry girls fantasy, but they never care very much about the actual experience of living here in 2024.

and - indeed - the experience of choosing to live here. i like ni because i was born here, and so all of the formative experiences of my early life took place while drinking a tin in some field or other, but it's also somewhere i have returned to, after having gone to university and begun my medical training in england.

and this is an aspect of irish life which doesn't have a huge presence in the way we think and talk about irishness. so much irish history is bound up in migration - in leaving the motherland and longing for it from afar - and in the diaspora experience that we rarely think about the fact that people have always and will always come to ireland. people - whether returning here or coming to study or coming to live forever or coming to live until they too can return home - choose every day to put down roots in northern ireland, despite all its faults and its flaws.

and it bothers me that this is constantly forgotten in all the giving out we all do about the place.

because - yes - this is a country which is fucked up in a huge number of ways. our politics is corrupt and nonsensical even when up against the bin fire which is the rest of the united kingdom. our people are beset by poverty and deprivation [and i will of course acknowledge that i am someone who lives here with a well-paid, stable job]. our sectarian wound is still bleeding, heavily. we have not seen justice for the atrocities perpetuated against us by the british state during the troubles, nor for the atrocities we perpetuated against our own at the same time. we have not learned from our own experiences of discrimination when it comes to discriminating against people who live here who are not white, who are not christian, or who are immigrants. it rains for a good three quarters of the year.

but as i grow older, i find i have less and less time both for pure and grinding cynicism in the face of this situation and for the conviction that the grass might be greener somewhere else. i think this latter is a particular issue in the irish national character - a sort of "ah well, things are shite and they'd only be better if x happened". in the north, i think we're especially beset by this - "the country can't improve until there's a united ireland" [or, if you're on the other side, "the country can't improve until the fenians stop complaining"].

but we have a lot to be proud of and a lot to be hopeful for as we keep going.

because northern ireland is also a place whose history is about peace as much as it is about war. it's the birthplace of the best member of girls aloud. it's somewhere people have mobilised only recently for pay and working conditions on a par with the rest of the uk, and will keep mobilising until we win. it's introduced the world to the fact that protestants keep toasters in cupboards. it's a place whose own fight for reproductive justice has rather flown under the radar in comparison to that of the republic of ireland, but which is no less active. it's a place where it's perfectly acceptable to be served apple and mars bar sandwiches at a funeral [provided the deceased was presbyterian]. it's a place where you never have to become invested in the nation's performance in international sporting competitions and can get blind drunk as god intended. it's a place with great patter.

it's a place which has perfected street art... in a sense. it's a place where you can get unusual soft drinks delivered to your door by a sinister figure called the minerals man. it's a place which recognises that balaclavas are chic. it's the only place on earth you can buy fifteens and a cowboy supper, whether or not you actually should do the latter. it's a place where you can turn bomb scares to your advantage by using them as an excuse to swerve parties you didn't want to attend. it's a place whose people have not given up their fight for justice, who still grieve and remember the dead and the disappeared. it's a place people travel across the world to make their home and enrich with their presence. it's a place where the quality of life is genuinely improving, and which we can continue to improve if we don't give into the idea that nothing can ever change. it's a cold and rainy little country, filled with nondescript grey housing estates and burned out cars, which also looks like this:

happy st patrick's day.

#asks answered #general chat #northern ireland posting

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smol-tired-binch-blog · 7 months

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[kicks door down]

Autistic Nishiki whose special interest is fashion and not only considers what's trendy but also looks out for fabrics that aren't a sensory nightmare, however sometimes he will force himself to wear something that isn't comfy for appearance's sake, which leaves him more vulnerable to getting overwhelmed and therefore 'emotional' Also means he has his collar popped like Kiryu's for sensory reasons too and slutty reasons, which would once again make me correct in saying if he undid his collar in Kiwami he'd be normal again because if I were constantly experiencing sensory discomfort I too would be fucked up and evil.

Cause like here's the thing, autistic Kiryu and Majima headcanons are more obvious (especially the former), whereas Nishiki probably comes off as the most 'normal'; he can likely maintain eye contact and talk to people 'normally' and not like, go off on some random tangent about a special interest or hyperfixation. And then you remember masking is a thing.

And okay, so I actually think it's unfair a lot of fandom considers him a 'crybaby' right, cause he's cried in situations MOST PEOPLE WOULD RIGHTFULLY CRY OVER! BUT, I can use this to my Autistic Advantage and have this be he actually struggles to regulate his emotions, and considering he's been exposed to the yakuza world since a young age where ANY emotion that isn't 'respectable stoicism' or 'righteous fury and indignation', he's seen as even MORE overly emotional. Hence the need to start masking so early, PLUS having to protect Kiryu who couldn't mask if his life depended on it because he doesn't realise he may HAVE to (speaking from personal experience, Kiryu definitely went his whole life unaware there was anything ""wrong"" with him (for lack of a better word) and had people just like "oh yeah he's just Like That dw bout it" and went on with his life), so Nishiki takes up the mantle of I'm The One Who Knows What We're Doing Lad's desperate to gain acceptance and will change whatever he has to but people still somehow pick up that Something's Off About Him and so they tend to be disdainful or brush him off. It's easy charisma that can win over hostesses and brief encounters with civillians but can't carry across in the yakuza. Kiwami is him trying his DAMNDEST to act neurotypical even at the cost of his own comfort, and the worst part is it's not working

#akira nishikiyama #yeah i can do headcanons too!! i can go all in on em!!! i need more silly headcanons to go with it #what do you think his stims are? i literally just read a mutual say he likes spinning keys and shiny things and YOU ARE SO CORRECT #i think he likes clicking his lighter open and closed as well which is another reason it's annoying Kiryu keeps borrowing/losing it gvbhjnb #sorry i had a chat with a friend last night about this cause this headcanon's been swirling around in my head for a while and i'm actually #putting the pieces together. sorry for using terms like 'wrong' and 'normal' but it's like that's the easiest way for me to explain it and #like i said im talking from personal experience. im close with someone whose basically masked their whole life and is realising 'nah mate #im just nd' meanwhile I grew up having no idea what autism was but I Clearly Was That and assumed everyone ELSE was being difficult #and yet despite relating to Kiryu moreso something about Nishiki's lack of a hold on his identity compels me and im like same dude #this is what i mean by whenever i think about Nishiki there's a 1/3 chance i'll start crying cause HE MAKES ME SO SAD #BABYGIRL YOU DESERVED BETTER!!!!!

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 7 months

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Golden pumpkins hunt

A short and little crappy story about our farmers and the madness during the maze on Spirits Eve.

Farmer OCs in this story: May (@poxy-domain), Zeke (@theambivalentagender), Rain (@silly-farmer), Wren (@girls4zelda), Bo (@boinurmom13), Miranda (@amishasp), Shiro (@shirokumav3), Myra (@seharuuchan), Marley (@mmarggsstuff), Willow (@vilochkaaa), Skylar (@justashamwithwastedpotential), Thad (@reallyghostlypost), Lucy (@doggoneaway), Bella (@ivquatro), Eris (@lavendel081), Elisa (@elisa6102), Hestia (@g0atmama), Fawn (@fawn-wickenshire), Josephine (@jazhand), Ziana (@nimillaarts) and Julian (my OC).

_________________________________________

"Aunt Marnie! I'm not little anymore, why can't I go into the maze...". Julian turned to Jaz, who had been begging her aunt for about ten minutes to let her enter the scary maze this year, but Marnie was still hesitant. No sooner had Julian greeted the two of them and congratulated them on Spirit's Eve than Bo pulled him back to the maze entrance.

"You'll see, dude, we're definitely going to win this Magnus puzzle! Especially since this year's prize is not one, but three whole golden pumpkins!", Bo enthusiastically tugged on his friend's sleeve, unable to contain his anticipation before the treasure hunt. "We'll divide the spoils, naturally: both get a pumpkin each, and the third... well, we'll figure something out!"

The two young men stopped near two artisanal arches.

"It's showtime, baby! Ok, I'll go left, and you go right then. Good luck, bro." With a Hollywood smile on his face, Bo clapped Julian on the shoulder, and disappeared into the semi-darkness of the maze.

The young man with multicolored eyes sighed a little tiredly: he wasn't opposed to the most exciting adventure to find the golden pumpkin, but before entering the maze, Julian wanted some snacks from the communal food table. The poor lad hadn't had time to eat before the feast, and the smell of spices made his stomach rumble and mind go crazy. But Julian decided he would help Bo win the contest first, because after all, three pumpkins was a very generous reward.

Without wasting any more precious time, Julian finally entered the maze. The tangled paths, the cold, penetrating wind, the dense dark vegetation on either side, the atmosphere and frightening scenery, the shrieks of familiar voices, the laughter and the rush - enthralled by the spirit of the feast, Julian even forgot about hunger for a while.

Continuing to walk further and further down the labyrinth, Julian didn't immediately realize how he found himself in a place separate from the main maze. There was a circle where Magnus Rasmodius himself was sitting cross-legged, and next to the wizard were Julian's friends and colleagues in farming - Eris and Bella were sitting on soft pouffes, holding cups with hot drinks in their hands, and Elisa was eating delicious white chocolate-covered strawberries. The treats were made with scary but still cute faces of all sorts of ghosts and monsters.

"Hey, Julian! Happy Spirit's Eve!", with her mouth slightly full, Elisa congratulated the young man. Bella and Eris also nodded to Julian sincerely happy meeting their friend.

"Greetings, young adept. Enjoying the festivities?", Magnus ducked one eye open, not taking a break from his meditation. Julian sensed a large concentration of magic in this place - apparently to maintain the summoned maze.

"Would you like to join us? We still have some strawberries and hot tea left." Bella moved a loose cushion closer and a plate of strawberries, which Elisa looked at very intently. Oh, how Julian wanted to stay here and have a snack!

But he made a promise to Bo...

"Thanks for the offer, but another time. I still want to win the competition."

"Good luck to you, then." Eris smiled sincerely at the young man, and happily took a sip of hot tea.

"Watch out, young fool. The treasure is guarded by fearsome monsters, it won't be easy to get it..." Magnus was pleased with his own cryptic and creepy speech, and hummed quietly, returning to his meditation. After saying goodbye to everyone, Julian rolled his eyes.

"Scary monsters, yeah... They're all fake for sure!" With that thought, the young man went back to searching for the right path to the treasure.

Walking past the plastic spiders (where Thad was able to hide and scare Julian enough to make the poor guy jump a little), he stopped near a huge cauldron where a green liquid of unknown origin was bubbling. Penny, Ziana, Shiro, and Myra stared at the bottom of the cauldron, mesmerized.

"Mr. Julian..." Ziana said in a slightly monotone somehow. "This cauldron... It smells so good, it makes my head spinning and dizzy." The other girls only nodded slowly to confirm her words.

The boiling water smelled like cotton candy, and Julian's hungry stomach twisted itself into a knot. Ugh, no, he need to move on! Overcoming the urge to stay near the cauldron, the young farmer returned to his original mission, intending to turn left.

"Nope, it's a dead end." Skylar walked out of the darkness a little tiredly with Sam. "Honey, maybe we can go back to the common table?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Sam was delighted, "Besides, the straw in my suit makes me itchy... like, everywhere."

Oh well, Julian thought, the search continues.

"Hmm, maybe I should turn into a dragon? Then I’ll definitely find the treasure..." Hestia stood thoughtfully near the fake tombstones.

"Don't cheat!", Julian said a little provocatively from behind, which slightly frightened the girl. Hestia herself was not in debt, and stuck her tongue out at Julian, disappearing into the darkness of the labyrinth. Giggling, the young man walked on.

Yoba, the labyrinth seemed endless to him, and his stomach is already begged for some food...

"You decided to take part in the treasure hunt too?" Julian didn't notice Rain standing in front of him. He nodded to her in agreement. "And you?" Julian asked.

"Eh, I'm just hanging out here. I like this creepy atmosphere, it gives me goosebumps." Rain smiled, pointing her hand at Fawn and Josephine standing nearby. "Besides, I decided to accompany my friends in case we accidentally stumble upon monsters." She patted the hilt of her sword that was strapped to her hip.

"Huh? But the monsters in the maze aren't real." Julian was surprised.

"How are you so sure?", having asked a rhetorical question, Rain said goodbye to her friend and returned to the girls, who were still looking at the house with chicken legs with delight and curiosity.

Her words made Julian's hand tighten his grip on the hilt of the dagger, which he had taken purely to decorate his suit... "Magnus wouldn't put people's lives in danger. Right?..." Now walking more carefully and listening to every sound, Julian I was able to go through half the maze already.

After about two minutes, the poor guy was scared again when Miranda's figure suddenly appeared from the bushes. The girl’s face was distorted with anger, and she confidently walked past Julian towards the exit, despite the thorny bushes.

"Today there will be one less stupid adventurer in the world," Marley said to Julian with a malicious smile when she saw his downcast face. "You’re on the right track, brother. The treasure is out there somewhere. I think"

"Aren't you going to look for pumpkins?", still in a slight shock, Julian asked hesitantly.

"And miss such a show?" Smiling even wider, Marley hurried after her friend. Julian prayed for the soul of that unfortunate adventurer who became the cause of Miranda's righteous anger. Deciding to find out about this story later, he headed in the direction from which both girls had emerged.

With every step he took, his hope of winning faded, and the thought of returning to other friends at a common table beckoned him more and more.

“Yep, I told you it was fake,” Zeke stopped looking at the plastic chest and just quietly snorted at Shane’s comment. "Oh, another competitor." Shane just smiled faintly, and Zeke waved to Julian in greeting. "Zek, maybe, to hell with these pumpkins? I’m already hungry." Oh, how hungry Julian is - you can’t imagine, Shane!

"Alright alright, let's go for the snacks. I hope there’s some honey bun left in there!' Taking Shane by the hand, Zeke led him towards the exit.

Mmmm, honey buns... Julian can already feel the sweetness melting in his mouth and...

"Oh man, there you are!" Poor Julian might have a heart attack at this rate, and he's too young to die! Ah, it's just Bo.

"We are already close, I can already feel the taste of victory!" Taking Julian again by the sleeve of his leather jacket, the two farmers headed along the only road that would definitely lead them to the desired chest.

"So, now we have to go here and-" Bo didn’t have time to finish when suddenly, before his and Julian’s eyes, the figure of their mutual friend, Wren, appeared.

"Agh, damn, I knew I should have teleport a little further!" Stomping her foot angrily, the red-haired girl, however, immediately turned pale when she saw Julian and Bo, and giggled slightly nervously.

"What the tutty frutty fuck is going on here?" Confused, Bo blinked a couple of times and immediately answered his own question: "Cheater!"

Wren only smiled even stronger and ran away in the opposite direction from the treasure.

"Hey, come back!" Bo rushed off after the girl, leaving Julian alone. Alright.

It became darker and darker, the cold autumn wind did not spare anyone who was now outside, and the stomach began to growl again. So having decided to finally reach the end, the young man already prayed that this would be the end of the hunt for golden pumpkins. He's so tired and so, oh so hungry...

And it seems that this time - finally - Yoba heard the prayers of one of the chaotic farmers in the Stardew Valley.

A large, decorated wooden chest - after so many puzzles and endless dead ends - Julian finally found the treasure. He had already stretched out his hands to touch the lid of the chest and rightfully take the prize, when a human figure again appeared out of nowhere in front of him.

But this time it was May.

The girl smiled to the fact that she had teleported directly to the target, but her smile immediately faded when she realized that she had been caught. Oopsie....

The two farmers looked into each other's eyes for half a minute, not daring to do anything.

"Apple cinnamon pie in exchange for your silence," May finally decided to interrupt this staring contest. Julian's eyes widened.

"Deal", Oh boy, you didn't need to say twice. After shaking her hand and receiving from his friend a plate with a still warm pie (where she even get this pie?), May took her prize from the chest and disappear once again.

With the satisfied smile of the happiest man in the entire Valley, Julian began to leave the maze, still holding the plate of pie in his hands.

"Well, did you get your prize?" Willow laughed good-naturedly, standing with Lucy near the exit from the maze. Julian just nods, and Lucy noted to herself how little a person needs to be happy.

#sdv #stardew valley #sdv oc #sdv ocs #farmer julian #i hope i mention everyone in this story

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fallingforel · 1 year

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arabella pt 1

masterlist

you meet alex turner on a night out with life long friends matty george ross and adam. what happens when the night digresses?

warnings: not too sure i think slight mention of drugs, food if I’ve missed anything off please let me know and I will add them in

"Cmon Y/N" Matty states blaring through my phone speaker, while pulling it away from my ear because of how loudly he's speaking

"No I simply won't" I said back in the same tone and loudness replying to my best friend "look Matty we've been out every night this week I simply can't, because A) i don't have the funds B) I'm turning into a little alcoholic because of you, personally I think I'm being somewhat reasonable. Look if you want to go out with everyone, go ahead, stink I won't stop you but don't drag me along."

At the current moment I hate Matty. Why you may ask? Matty was trying to get me to go out to drink with him. Don't get me wrong I love him, we love each other, but sometimes he is so awfully annoying: right now he's trying to get me to come out, I stand my ground and somehow, somehow he always wins me over I don't understand why? but I don't mind him for it because we always have the most fun

"loooooook if you're so worried about money i'll buy you all your drinks, and so what who cares if you're turning into a little alcoholic because of me we're young we've got our whole lives ahead of us. just come out for one drink please besides George Adam and Ross all want you there. don't you guys"

a whole chorus of yeahs was heard on the other end of the phone he convinced me, I swear that boy had me wrapped around his finger. "Matty I hate you" "awwh come on you love me" "You're right I do. Catch you in 30 come pick me up yeah?" "Of course i always do, love you" "love you too" I replied and quickly hung up the phone.

30 minutes later, I was suited and booted clad in a leather coat, my snakeskin boots. My hands littered with rings and of course my red lipstick. Beeping of a car horn was soon heard outside of my flat, signalling Matty was here. I shut all of the lights off, making sure Arabella's food bowl was filled, I gave her a stroke and left my flat. Heading downstairs I saw Matty in his convertible; George Ross and Adam missing though.

"There's the lead singer of the 1975 but where's the rest of them" I say placing my hand above my eyes pretending to search for them. Matty chuckled and replied with a simple "at the club already, come on bug" I hopped in and we soon sped to the club. Turning on the radio, I soon noticed that sex was playing "Oh my god! Matty your first radio play. I'm so happy for you!" I exclaimed giving him a side hug. "Thanks love! this is so cool wait till the boys hear about this" Matty said in reply turning his head for a split second to smile at me "I'm turning it up!" I simply said in return .

Both Singing along pulling up to the club as the songs finishing "THEY'VE ALL GOT BACKCOMBS ANYWAY THEY ALL GOT BOYFRIENDS ANYWAY". Laughing and singing along I was happy in my own world until Matty opened the door for me bringing me back to reality "you comin' bug?" "course I am stink!"I stated back.

We were making our way to the back of the line before the bouncer stopped us. "OI!" his yelling shocked Matty and I before we turned though Matty whispered to me "don't worry I've got this, bug" uh huh sure you have tough guy I didn't dare say it out loud though, it would just start another one of our silly bickering's.

Turning to the bouncer "yeah? what's up?" "ahh sorry didn't mean to scare you there lad, just wanted to ask if you were from that band what are they called? the 1957?" I chuckled to myself before correcting him "you mean the 1975?" "yes that's the one!" "yeah he is." "ahh nice one my daughters a massive fan can I get an autograph and a photo she wouldn't believe me if I didn't have a picture you see?" Matty turned to me looking at me as if to say "is it okay?" I mouthed "course it is" and smiled.

After pleasantries were made, the bouncer let us in skipping the queue of course because the bouncer said "it'd be rude not to" and that his daughter would "kill me if I didn't let you in" and Matty headed straight for the bar while I went out to seek the rest of our friends. Of course, they were in a corner sipping on their drinks where they usually are. Going to join them I shouted at them in a joking manner "You boring fucks. G I would've at least expected you to be out on the dance floor by now, Hann and Ross I understand you, G I'm very disappointed "

They just all nodded their heads at me,knowing I was joking, "ya alright Y/N/N? Where's Matty? where there's one of you the other one is never too far behind" George asked me "I'm dandy G. and Matty is at the bar getting us drinks. when he comes and joins us will you dance with me?" I ask him. Getting a shrug as a reply so I follow it up with "I came out to have fun. Not mope around in a corner all night just drinking" "OI IM HAVING FUN" Ross shouting back at me "Ross you're literally bopping your head shut up" Matty shouted back handing me my rum and coke "here you go love. Get that truth serum in you" you just laughed at him sipping on it through a straw. "come dance with me Matty these lot are being boring." "Of course I'll come dance with you bug! this song seems very fitting though"

with Dizzee rascals dance wiv me was blaring through the speakers of the club. matty and I ran down the stairs heading to the dance floor dancing with each other. "THATS WHY IM ASKING B! SO LETS PARTY B COME AND DANCE WIV ME" we shouted at each other.

After some time both our drinks were finished so I headed to the bar to get some more Matty giving me his card to get some more. "hiya love what can I get you?" the bartender shouted at me over the music "one rum and coke and one red wine bottle please" I replied "of course i'll get them sorted and i'll come back in two secs" "thank you" i replied as he was walking off.

While waiting for the bartender to come back to my drink I look around for Matty and the others: Matty was dancing with George (rude if you ask me!) Ross was still sitting at our table booping along to the songs, and Adam was in the corner necking off with some girl, good for him he deserves some action. He's been upset a lot ever since his girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago, turns out all he needed was a night out with us.

The bartender soon came back with our drinks, tapping Matty's card i thanked the bartender again and walked off with our drinks, joining Ross at the table. All of a sudden there was a silence followed soon by excited cheers were heard throughout the club. "What's going on?" I asked Ross nodding my head to where the commotion was happening on the dance floor. "Some indie band performing tonight. think they're quite big won't lie. not too sure though" Ross said in reply to my question.

All of a sudden, the opening chords of you look good on the dance floor were heard and I immediately screamed. "OMG! ROSS ITS THE ARCTIC MONKEYS WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING!!" "I didn't realise you liked em y/n/n" replying to my shouting in a calm manner "like em? I LOVE THEM ROSS!" soon Matty came by my side dragging me onto the dance floor.

We danced for the rest of their set. This is how I always wanted it to be, Matty and I with the rest of our mates dancing to absolute tunes. "this is the whole reason I dragged you out bug. Wanted it to be a surprise for you." Matty said to me grinning ear to ear, drunk yes but happy nonetheless. "you little fucker! stink " I simply said drunkly grinning back at him.

Granted the Arctic monkeys only played a few songs keeping their set small. It was a great set, covering the classics. I stayed out on the dance floor Matty went back to the table claiming he needed a break "feel the alcohol coming back up bug, need a breather" "okay i'll stay here". After a couple of songs, I looked around for Matty and the crew and couldn't find them anywhere, only Hann still necking off with that girl, didn't fancy staying with them on my own. Besides, it's not like Hann would show interest in me and I didn't want to interrupt either "Damnit Healy" I said grabbing my bag off the table and walking out the club going to find them probably shacked at the smoking shelter either smoking weed or cigarettes .

Once I got out of the club the cold air hit my face, sobering me up quite a bit, I walked to the smoke shelter, pulling my cigarettes and lighter out of my bag lighting one. waiting around searching for matty or anyone at this point, popping my head out and occasionally moving to keep me warm, Oh how I hated being on my own.

giving up and walking away because they weren't here anymore lighting another to keep me warm, suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder with an "scuse me love" turning around with a "yeah can I help you?" not catching on that my favourite artist, had just tapped my shoulder "look it's just I saw you lighting your cigarette normally I wouldn't ask this but could I borrow ya lighter my mate took mine and I don't know where he or my lighter for that matter, is?" "Of course you can, here you go. My mates ditched me too I don't know where they are"

Looking up at me he noticed who i was "holy shit you're like the really hot model who stars in that 75 video" laughing to myself "yes that would be me, although i do have a name other than 'really hot model' it's Y/n. and the 75 are the friends who ditched me" "nice to meet ya y/n, the names Alex Turner" "yes I know who you are alex, I'm a big fan!" chuckling to himself I think more than to me. "that hilarious, such big fans of each other" laughing along too I said "yeah i guess so"

keeping each other company for a while talking about how demanding each of our jobs are George ran over to me shouting "There you are, y/n/n, been looking all over for you". "looking for me? I've been looking for you lot I came back from the dance floor and you were gone all of you. well apart from Hann, he was still there wasn't interested though. think he was more interested in that girls lips, was just about to give up and go home before you showed up" "haha yeah. well we went to go smoke a zoot but didn't think you'd want to come." george caught alex gawping at him, as if he had just seen the queen of Sheba.

Leaning into me george said in a whisper "is he alright?" "yeah he's fine, just a little starstruck that your in front of him, big 75 fan ya see, like I am of him, I don't show it though" nodding george understanding how big fan I was of the arctic monkeys he held a hand out and introduced himself "Hey, George nice to meet you" Alex tried to keep his cool "nice to meet you too, big 75 fan. isn't there more of you?" "yeah Matty and Ross are coming they're just having a heart to heart you see. came to find our best friend and adopted 5th member of our band y/n here. and our guitarist Adam is inside necking on with a bird, shown disinterest in all of us tonight"

Not too soon after, Matty and Ross came up and joined George Alex and I. Matty came up next to me and put a hand round my neck and kissed my temple, "there you are been looking all over for you bug" "went looking for you,dick" shoving him adding "you disappeared stink" with a pout. "sorry y/n/n drug duty calls" standing to attention like a solider in a jokey matter,

coming back to whisper in my ear while Alex and george were still talking "Isn't that Alex? as in arctic monkeys Alex?" "yeah it is. nice innit apparently he's a big 75 fan and big fan of me too" whispering back. Matty just smiled and went up to introduce himself to Alex but not before nicking on of my fags. taking his iconic 75 lighter and lighting it.

After pleasantries we're made. we all decided to take a walk, Alex joining us, leaving Hann behind deciding that he wouldn't want to come anyway being too distracted in some girl's lips, wandering around the streets aimlessly with no end goal that until our drunk cravings were shouting at us to get greasy kebabs. so that's what we did, we got them from the nearest kebab shop and took them to a local park and sat in it eating our kebabs. Alex got to know us, and we got to know him.

"And it was her foot!" Matty said finishing his story, we all laughed "still can't believe that happened, what drunken nights can do to us hey stink?" I chimed in running over to the bin throwing my rubbish away. the others soon finished theirs and we headed out together, deciding it was late and we should all probably head home.

Stupidly though I ended up inviting everyone back. Matty stating that it would've happened anyway "you just want to see Ara" "that's true I love her more than her own mother" "not true you just give into her because you think she's too cute" "okay yeah. but we love her equally"

Alex being confused chiming in with a "who's Ara" ross sighed with george adding in a "you just got yourself into a whole mess pal " giving Alex a pat on the shoulder knowing that Matty and I would get into a heated bickering about who's cat it was. Alex obviously knowing us for a night so didn't really know the whole depths of it. "so it's my cat, her names arabella, matty of course decided to adopt a cat as well not to mention it looked the exact same as ara, we introduced the cats one day because we thought it would be cute because well it would be nice to have our cats as best friends, turns out it was a stupid idea as one of the cats jumped out the window and it was never seen again. but the fight happened so fast we weren't sure which one was which because we hadn't gotten them collars yet. so Matty thinks Ara's his cat, but she's not" "she is she answers to Caroline" Matty added in "she answers to about anything mate" George chimed in before putting a hand round his neck taking him off so he could cool off before the bickering got any further to save Alex, he wasn't ready for the constant bickering yet.

With George Ross and Matty walking ahead and Alex and I walking behind we got to know each other better until the question i've been dreading all evening came up "so...are you and Matty like a thing?" "no of course not just best friends. although you wouldn't think, we argue like a married couple and are very cuddly but that's because we've been through a lot together, I think of Matty like a brother you know, besides Matty would be too high maintenance for me." "Good because I was hoping you and I could become something sometimes"

— end of pt 1

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #matty healy #george daniel #mattyhealyxbsf!reader #matty healy x you #matty healy x reader #matty healy x y/n #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n #ross mcdonald #adam hann #alex turner meet cute #fanfiction #fanfic #Spotify

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 1 year

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Doctor Who, but Chronologically 25

I know I know, haven't done this in a while. Check the tag for past instalments

But it's 1905! One year on from all that Flux stuff, and while Jodie Whittaker is back as the Doctor and Yaz is here again we nonetheless have Graham and Ryan back too and no Dan, so who knows when all that's getting resolved. Meanwhile we're in New York meeting Nicola Tesla, who is played by Damien Moreau.

This is a painfully average episode. On the one hand it's fun and features space scorpions. On the other the companions do pretty much nothing this episode, so it's yet another example of "Why are these people here". Yaz comes closest to being relevant by convincing Tesla not to give into a scorpion queen while they're on her ship, but honestly, you could replace all three with sexy lamps and nothing would change about the plot.

Not a lot of plot happens really, and it doesn't happen for 45 minutes. Turns out Tesla has received a signal from Mars, which of course is currently full of Ice Warriors evicting the British Empire, so maybe that's what he picked up? Except everyone thinks he's mad, which is strange, since Britain literally colonised Mars to steal gemstones like two episodes ago. Honestly, it's almost like these episodes were filmed several series apart with completely different production teams.

Anyway Tesla signalled back, but it was asshole space scorpions, and now they want to kidnap him to make him upgrade their weapons or something. They have a queen who is fully humanoid and also played by Rani from the Sarah Jane Adventures. The rest of them literally just look like scorpions. This is a very Legend of Zelda approach to character design.

The episode is mostly a philosophical treatise about dreaming engineers who want to save the world being hamstrung by capitalism, so that's great, but tbh it's thin on character-work. There's a dreary bit where the Doctor phones the scorpion queen and says they aren't handing over Tesla so the scorpions should leave or else, and the scorpion queen says they'll kill the planet in that case, and the Doctor looks flabbergasted even though that was very literally what the scorpions had already said they'd do. I honestly do not understand the shocked reactions at this point. Then Tesla says he has to sacrifice himself in that case, and we get a more toothless rehashing of the Percy Bysshe Shelley vs billions of people debate that we had like ten episodes ago, and once again, lads, once again, I must stress that this is a STUPID way to watch this show.

Eventually they blow up the scorpion ship with the queen on board. How like a Tesla.

Very little in the way of meaningful events! There's a bit where the scorpion queen asks the Doctor if she's ever seen a dead planet and the Doctor says yes and looks a bit haunted. That's about it though. No answers to any of our hanging plot threads, but also no new questions, so we're Winning

Hanging plot thread list:

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole (And Nardole was “reassembled???”)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi.)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

#doctor whom #and yet we are continuing

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last-lifeduo-standing · 1 year

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(Submissions closed! Polls to be out soon)

Excuse the interruption, lads, but we've got some DEALS TO SETTLE.

WELCOME, TO THE LIFE DUO POLLS

Tired of your Duos being Deserted? How about your Ranchers being Ranged? Well look no further because we're about to settle once and for all WHO! WILL! WIN (this set of polls)!

Submit your duos here! The reason I'm asking for submissions despite there only being so many duos is because you can submit the SAME duo from DIFFERENT SEASONS!

(And yes, groups of more than two are allowed)

#3rd life smp #last life smp #double life smp #limited life smp #trafficblr #mcyt #polls #look at my blog boy

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just-an-enby-lemon · 1 year

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2004 Batman + Rogues Kids Universe

Joker: Look Batsy we have a Robin too!

Harley: We're a happy family, Batman!

Duela: Hiya!

Batman: Are you alright kiddo?

Duela: Sure. Yesterday I had no family. Now I have parents. *picks a malet* AND WE HAVE FUN! *hits Batman* HAHAHAHA

Batman: I hope this does not become a trend.

-/-

Batman: Penguin, let the hostage go! What's going on with you? Kidnnaping kids isn't really your style.

Penguin: I didn't kidnnaped no one. I was just thinking what is the point of restoring the Cooblepot name if I'm the last Cooblepot? We need to have someone behind, legacy and all. But them it hit me. Did ya know, Batman, that is not uncommon for Penguins to adopt lost chicks.

Batman: You didn't adopt. How could you with your criminal record? You kidnapped him, the boy must be terrifield.

Martin: *writing in his little notebook-necklace* I'm not scared.

Penguin: Wack wack see the lad isn't scared.

Martin: *writing in his notebook* I'm happy. : ) they said I woudn't be adoped but we showed them, right dad?

Penguin: Right on point, little bird.

Batman: I understand you want a family, kid, but someone can't just go to an orphanage and take you.

Martin: *writing* why not? it works

Batman: I'm sorry, kid. But I have to rescue you.

Oswald: You're not taking Martin alway Batman. I'm his dad! *opens his umbrella and flys alway with Martin hugging him*

Martin: *throws a notebook page on Batman's* it says "wack wack".

Batman: That doesn't mean is a trend. It may be a coincidence.

-/-

Riddler: Riddle me this, Batman-

Batman: Not you too.

Riddler: What?

Batman: *points to the kid dressed in question marks who is fighting Dick*

Riddler: What's the problem with Enigma?

Batman: How did you even got that kid? Street kid? Kidnapped from an orphanage because they solved one of your riddles? Their parents weren't good?

Riddler: I'm the one who does the questions here, Batman. But just so you know. None of the above.

Enigma: *they pretend to lose so Dick went to surprise attack Riddler and was surprise attacked, he is now tied to a broken heavy robot he destroyed sulking* I saw that the rogues were getting kids so when I saw Riddler grocery shopping I followed him home and kept asking him to adopt me until he said yes.

Riddler: They were very insistent.

Robin: Wow that's real Arkham behavior of you.

Enigma: Thanks.

Robin: You're welcome. You are really loony.

Batman: I shouldn't try but why?

Enigma: I like riddles and his hair is great.

Riddler: Thank you, your hair is also amazing, sweetie.

Batman: Is someone looking for you?

Enigma: Don't think so.

Batman: Sure. That's my life now.

-/-

Batman: Oh great. Another evil kid and this one is five.

Cluemaster: You see Batman, I couldn't avoid following the trend.

Batman: So you kidnapped a child?

Cluemaster: No. She is my biological kid.

Robin: YOU procreated? How?

Cluemaster: That's suppose to be Batman's job, but since you asked when a man and a woman like each other very much...

Batman: Stop. Let's just go with it.

Cluemaster: Okay. Steph go fight the Boy Wonder, will ya?

Robin: I'm not gonna punch a baby!

Spoiler: *at the same time* Don't wanna.

Cluemaster: Steph we went over it.

Spoiler: Nu-uh.

Cluemaster: Okay, let's start again. Steph tell Batman what you want to be when you grow up.

Spoiler: *smilling* I wanna be a hero like batgirl.

Cluemaster: NOOO.

Batman: *super happy this is actually not another evil kid* I'm sure Batgirl will be really happy that she inspired such a cool hero.

Spoiler: She will?

Batman: Uh-hu.

Cluemaster: Don't encorage her. We are EVIL, Steph. E-V-I-L! Because that's what smart people are and you are smart.

Spoiler: But smart people win and mean guys lose.

Cluemaster: You are grounded!

Spoiler: *cries* 'm not. Batman his stupid puzzle is red. Press the button and instead of going boom everyone goes yay.

Robin: *presses the red button* *the hostages are free* God one, kiddo.

Cluemaster: NOOO. *pulls Steph by the hair* I'm taking you to your room. You are grounded forever.

Batman: Hell no. Robin.

Robin: Yes, Batman?

Batman: Maybe the other rogues were right.

Robin: Gotcha. *they kidnap-adopt Steph*

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hearts4golbach · 4 months

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Light Shower. (Sal Fisher x Fem!Reader.)

part 16.

"but you made me want to plan out my last days on earth eating you."

I sat in my bed, debating which outfit I should choose. I looked at both options, taking into consideration which one sal would like more. I eventually made my decision and changed out of my pajamas. I felt excitement built up in my chest as I heard my mother call me. I made quick movements out of my bedroom, wanting to avoid being late because of her.

My mom sat in the living room alone, her eyes burned with panic and worry. "y/n, something bad has happened."

I felt the blood drain from my face. "what? is it dad?" my thoughts raced as panic started to set in.

"your father is fine." her forehead creased. she set her head in her hand. "we have to move. I don't want you to worry. we'll be fine. we just have to leave these apartments for our own safety." her eyes glistened. "I'm sorry I have to take you away again, hun. it's just right up the street, though. you can ride your bike up here every day if you must." she gave me a small smile.

"but we're happy here? we cant just uproot again, even if it's just right up the street. it's not fair." I tried to reason as I shook my head. I felt my face heat up with anger.

"you're not seeing the bigger picture, y/n. it's a must, it's for our own safety."

I dug my finger nails into my palms. "okay, so tell me why we're in danger."

"i- you just won't understand. you're too young." she brushed me off.

"thats not fair." I said sternly.

"you need to pack."

I turned away, fighting off tears so I wouldn't ruin my makeup. "I'm going to Larry's birthday party."

"that's fine." she muttered, turning back to her planner.

I rolled my eyes to myself and slipped on my converse. I ran down to Larry's apartment, my mood completely ruined. I continued to fight the urge to cry. I felt like I was being dramatic. I was moving a block away, why was I so upset?

"yooo, y/n!" Larry cheered, wearing a cheesy party hat and a smiley face pin that says 'birthday boy!'

"I want a birthday boy pin." I teased, pushing his chest to remove him from the doorway."

"someone's a little cranky." Larry retorted.

"someone needs to shut the fuck up." I rolled my eyes.

"were meeting everyone else at the place." he mentioned, brushing his fingers through his tangled hair.

"alright." I flashed him a fake smile.

Lisa walked out of her room in mom jeans and a white tee. "hiya, y/n! how are you?" her bright eyes met mine.

"I'm okay, Ms. johnson." I hugged her. "you?"

"oh, I'm just dandy, y/n. my little boys growing up too fast." her eyes watered.

I hummed in response, following them out the door to their car. majority of the ride was spent listening to Larry ramble about he was going to kick my ass in lazer tag. all I managed to do was roll my eyes at him.

ash, sal, Todd, and Neil were all waiting outside of the building. "well, you're awfully early!" Lisa called cheerfully, locking the car.

"we wanted to watch you give Larry his birthday spankings!" ash hollered, walking over to larry and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"I think you're the only one who wants to see that." todd said matter-of-factly.

"I've seen it many times before, this won't be anything new." sal joked.

"oh, shut up." Larry pushed past sal and walked inside. "I'm not that naughty."

"naughty?" ash repeated in a taunting tone. I snorted.

"naughty little lad, of course!" Neil smiled.

"you guys are bullies." Larry muttered.

we quickly checked in and paid, eager to 'kick eachothers asses' but I was positive that I was going to win along with whoever was on my team.

"I call sal and neil." Larry shouted, dragging them away.

"Wow, okay." ash scoffed. "at least I got Todd and y/n."

"sorry baby." Larry cooed.

sal looked at me and giggled. I smiled back at him weakly. he glanced at me once more, a worried glare in his eyes, before following Larry to the other side.

the three of is walked to the opposite area. we were the red team, I assumed, as the lights flashed and read 'red team.' the wall had an assortment of 10 vests messing hung up on hooks next to a rack holding toy guns.

ash and todd slipped on their vests easily as I stared cautiously at mine. "sals going to laugh at me, I'm going to look so stupid." I trailed off.

ash rolled her eyes. "be so for real."

"sal isn't like that, y/n. I'm sure you know that better than anyone." todd commented, wrapping an arm around me.

"I mean, yeah. but still-"

"y/n." ash interrupted. "don't overthink it." she gave me a gentle smile.

"okay." I sighed, putting on the vest and grabbing my assigned gun before following them out to the play area.

I heard Larry's maniac cackling from across the big room. "oh, fuck." ash face palmed.

"they're going to eat shit." Todd smirked. he rarely cusses, but when he does it never fails to make me laugh.

"okay, todd." I said sarcastically.

"what?" he was cut off by the buzzer, signaling for us to go.

the two of them branched off separate ways as I walked straight forward. I whipped around, hearing rustling behind me. I slowly took a step back gripping my gun like my life depended on my. hypothetically, it did. the silence that followed made my heart race faster than before. I quickly turned the corner to cover myself, making sure to watch my back. I bumped into a figure with a yelp. I quickly picked up my gun and aimed it at the blue haired boy.

"oh my god, sal. shoot me and I swear to God, I will-"

"I'm not gonna shoot you. truce?" he cut me off.

"I'm not so sure about that." I whispered, taking a step closer to him. I gave him a once over, i adored how the vest hugged his body. I would have been drooling if I didn't keep my composure around him. "go on, shoot me." I smirked.

sal laughed quietly, "I'll let you go this time, little missy."

I snorted. "little missy?" my hand ran down his arm.

"why are you fucking with me right now?" he hissed, lashes fluttering. "n-now is probably the worst time to seduce me."

"oh yeah?" I quickly lifted my gun and shot him in the chest. "that was my goal."

sals eyes narrowed. "You little traitor. I'm going to get you back."

"how are you going to do that?"

"just wait until my dad leaves for work." he leaned in, whispering. I turned to watch as he walked away, feeling giddy. I shook myself out of it, quickly turning the corner. I was stunned to see Larry peering around the corner. my heart skipped a beat. luckily, his back was towards me.

with a small smirk on my face, I called his name. he whipped around, gun pointed. I shot him first. "you little shit!" he shrieked.

I flipped him off. "eat shit!"

Larry looked at me stunned. "fu-" The buzzer went off, as if it was censoring the shit he was about to yap at me.

I can to the doors as Larry chased after me screaming profanities. I smiled as the light coming from the open exit doors drew closer.

I tripped. Larry let out a psychotic laugh, staring down at me on my hands and knees. i quickly turned around, grabbing the back of his knees, making him fall as well. While he was temporary disabled, I made a sprint for the door. I threw myself behind sal and Ash as larry came up the walkway red as a tomato. he glanced around before finally noticing me.

"come here, y/n! I'm going to-"

"What a sore loser!" Ash teased, catching Larry off guard.

larry just rolled his eyes in response and crossed his arms. he jutted his bottom lip out. "shut up."

ash rolled her eyes and turned to me, giving me a high 5. Larry rolled his eyes so hard, it looked as if he was trying to see his itty bitty brain.

I looked down at my crusty old shoes while the others bickered. I remembered the way my mom told were moving. it wasn't a huge deal, of course, we were only moving a few blocks down the road. but I knew it's affect everything. Maybe not in a bad way, but things

would change. I started hold back tears, I thought about how I was finally comfortable in the apartments. It but as if the rug had just been swiped from under me.

"y/n, you okay?" sal whispered, patting my shoulder.

"Uh, yeah." I stuttered. he squinted his eyes at me and tilted his head, signaling to the hall adjacent to the group.

I sighed and gave in giving a small nod before following him down the hall. I glanced back, watching larry is he pretended to make out with himself. I rolled my eyes and turned my head back to the blue haired boy walking in front of me.

as we approached the end of the hall. sal stopped and leaned against the wall, looking at me "whats wrong, love?"

I sighed, looking at him through my

lashes. "im moving. Not far, but im still angry about it. Everything finally started feel okay."

i could tell he was frowning under his prosthetic. "where are you going?"

"Right up the street." I leaned against the opposite wall. "It's less than a 10 minute walk."

"See? there you go. everything will be okay, y/n."

"Yeah, I know." I smiled softly, feeling the weight begin to evaporate off my chest.

"let's go back, sweetheart." He smiled.

I sat across from sat in his dimly lit dining room. His face was still mostly bandaged, leaving his bad age covered. my mother and his father chatted as we sat and stayed silent. I didn't want to interrupt, so we stayed silent as we made silly faces or played footsie, forgetting about our food.

"that's enough, you two." Henry sighed, rubbing his full belly. "either finish or off to bed."

we collectively groaned and made our way off to bed.

#ash campbell #larry johnson #sally face #sal fisher #fanfic #friends to lovers #fanfiction #melanie martinez #sal fisher x y/n #light shower

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cosmic-navel-gazin · 8 months

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How about MacReady for the blorbo bingo?

" Stupid sexy 1980's Kurt Russell !!! "

🤠❄️🥶🥃♞🧨🔥 🩸

The FREE SPACE is for his stupid comically large cowboy hat (affectionate)!

He has it all:

I love his floofy hair, the beard, I love his drunk ass, I love the weary tired eyes! I understand The Thing's gender envy, I wanna be him too! would assimilate if given the chance

I love his beloved J&B bottle, it's what keeping him from going mad

I love that he's kinda an unusual hero, he's a bit of a cold bastard and how ironically that's great for the situation they're all in! If they need someone to quickly, no hesitations, just burn a former friend and colleague for everyone's safety, he's the guy for it^^ (Look at his exchange with Gary about Bennings, Gary is struck with horror and grief for the loss of a good friend and MacReady is like: "brb Gary, gotta go burn the rest of him"). I wish I could make rapid tough decisions like him, if it were me in Antarctica I would've been a complete utter nervous wreck of a person like, a mix between Gary, Blair and Fuchs, even if I miraculously survived the whole ordeal I would've never been able to sleep again

he look great in freezing temperatures and bi lighting

I love you "Then Clark was human, huh? Which makes you a murderer"

The way Mac grabs Windows by the scruff like a cat

I love you "First goddamn week of winter." can't get shit in Antarctica, he's just so done and tired you really get the sense that shit was bad enough without an alien life form to deal with

I love you "Nobody trusts anybody now. And we're all very tired" - UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURY, he's such a sad dog here

I love you "Windows! Blast him!"-face

I love the way he clutches his lil dynamite sticks

I love his plastic left hand responsible for the blood test jumpscare (I wonder if it's the same plastic hand in John Carpenter's Starman (1984) ). *rant on jumpscares ensues* The Thing has a couple of jumpscares that are well used, scarce and spread throughout (another thing that makes them great is that they're not cheap, they're not just there to shake you up for no reason and then movies continues as normal (maybe not the one with Fuchs but I forgive the movie this one because it's a good fucking movie)). But almost all of them are the beginning of something horrible about to happen, they signal that SHIT'S ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN SON! The Blood Test jumpscare is an example:

I love how he's responsible for the first kill in the movie and not the titular Thing? Love it. RIP Chess Wizard, gone but never forgotten.

Actually that moment is great not only as early characterization for him (a bit of a bastard who does not take well to losing), but also as great foreshadowing. MacReady thinks he has everything figured out and is going to win against the Chess Wizard, only to just say basically fuck it and destroy it when the computer calls checkmate... it's the exact same response he has during his big showdown with Thing at the end, he thinks he's got the upper hand, Thing pulls a fast one on him, he says : "Yeah fuck you too!" and blows everything up. Things didn't go my way? I'm blowing it up then, I love it. And I just love how the Thing and MacReady are playing this little chess game with each other, both willing to discard pieces (the lads of outpost 31) to get the other.

Love how in spite of MacReady being "THE FLAMETHROWER GUY" of the group he's not just that, under all that amazing hair there's a huge beautiful brain! He's actually the one who comes up with the incredible Blood Test and I love him for that it's and incredible scene!

I'm sure I could go on and on, I just love him

#TWO THE THING BLORBO ASKS LET'SSSS GOOOOO!!!#thank you <3 #asks/replies #the thing 1982 #MacReady #ask game #portalthief

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thatbrightblueshine · 8 months

Text

these are my final call to do something so very unwise. or very wise, however you may few it.

(quite a rough one so please proceed with caution)

"WE'RE BACK BABY!"

is yelled through the tunnel. one player that is usually not so vocal is shouting in joy tonight. it's nick. "and a clean sheet too! good job mate!" dan shouts back giving him a quick pat on the shoulder. "you were massive tonight, you were everywhere!" nick hadn't had the pleasure of keeping a clean sheet for a while, first one this season anyway, and the joy of it is practically written all over his face. just when his teammates thought his smile couldn't grow any wider, he spotted kieran by the end of the hall. suddenly, as if everything else around him had become a blur, it was just kieran in his eyes. like a light, glowing. he just stood there chatting with eddie but all nick saw was his aura, noise around him becoming dull, voices unrecognisable as if everyone spoke a foreign language. just kieran, his light.

he wanted to run over to him, pick him up and throw him over his shoulder but although the thing they were having is basically an open secret in the dressing room, they liked the thrill of sharing small glances with each other, the quick kisses when nobody was watching. nick waited for everyone to pass on and return to their own business before slowly making his way over to kieran, who did the same. "not suspicious at all, huh. not noticeable." kieran joked when nick plunged his large body next to kieran on the wall. "just having a chat with my captain, what's suspicious about that?" nick and kieran stood shoulder to shoulder, their kits sticking to one another. "proper wet you are, should probably get in the showers?" nick pointed out. "well it rained, too. not just sweat." kieran exclaimed "but when it bothers you so much i guess i could take a shower." nick shook his head "nah. don't mind it. i do mind it on you, though."

kieran smiled, playing dumb. nick loved that. "huh? come again? what are you trying to say?" nick cupped kieran's face, his thumb slowly drawing circles on his cheek "let's swap kits?" he suggested, kieran's cheeks becoming hotter under his touch. "you wouldn't fit into mine, would you?" nick could feel himself get hard just by the anticipation, kieran's scruffy face scratching his thumb. the air was electrified, maybe it was joy of winning after so many loses, maybe it was just that it had been two weeks since they had last seen each other.

"i could devour you whole, all of you." nick said now looking down straight into kieran's blue eyes, he could tell he felt the same. sometimes this would happen - the two of them suddenly feeling this very intense urge to just get all over each other, other times it's more serene. density, lust. nick's eager to pin kieran up against the wall, right here, right there. barely able to contain himself. kieran no longer cared, the tunnel was empty and the lads had found each other continuing their celebrations in the nearby dressing room. he slapped his hand onto nick's chest, slowly dragging it downwards to his crotch, the palm of his hand covered in the mixture of rain and sweat on nick's body. his mouth opened, inhaling sharply when kieran's hand had arrived at its desired destination.

"i see you can really barely wait, huh?" the look on kieran's face darker, covered in mischief, his breath picking up pace. nick bit his bottom lip, he could feel himself get harder with every little movement kieran's hand made on his cock. kieran felt like jerking him off over his shorts right here and then, but decided against that last minute. "do you think anyone's taking a shower right now?" kieran asked unserious. nick shook his head. "more than unlikely. let's have a look?" the pair made their way over to the showers, not surprised to find absolutely no one around. the door was shut behind them quickly, wondering if they'd ever have just a little more time, they immediately pulled each others strips off, nick pushing kieran's now naked body into the first cubicle around. one final, deep look into each others eyes was followed by their lips colliding almost immediately after. nick turned on the water and their bodies were now more connected than ever - hands all over one another, nick pushing kieran against the wall so hard he could barely breathe, let alone fight him off, not he wanted it. "you're pushing really hard...give me some air..." kieran said when he finally managed to break their kiss, the steam from the hot water making it even harder to breathe. nick smiled "you don't like being pushed around, eh?" kieran shook his head and pushed the taller man down to his knees by his hair "not by you. i'm the leader." nick knew how kieran liked it, had done it many times before. he liked eye contact, he liked the power of it, a man of nick's size underneath him, swallowing his cock whole.

nick's gag reflex had been long gone from the times he'd done this, sometimes he would still cough a little, though. kieran put his hands on the back of nick's head, guiding his cock down his throat slowly, couldn't help himself but let out a little gasp when realising how easily nick took him all the way in, so obedient and eager to please his deepest needs. he kept it there for just a second, not moving, just watching nick's eyes, probably tearing up, the water washing away his tears instantly. he began pushing his cock up and down nick's throat, first slowly, then picking up speed. his hands sometimes lost grip in nick's wet hair, which irritated him. nick noticed that and placed his hands on kieran's ass for support. kieran now practically fucked into his mouth without any remorse, no longer caring if he'd gag on it. shame the water washed away the spit running from his mouth, to his chin, dripping to the shower floor as kieran began leaking precum. kieran remembered that one time nick said that it was his favourite taste, so salty yet sweet. kieran could no longer keep his mouth shut, whispering profanities into the hot air as nick let his hands wander over his kieran's back, down between his legs to grasp his balls. that was kieran's call to finally cum - with force, keeping his cock forced down nick's throat, held tightly by his hair, until he coughed and choked harshly, probably begging for him to catch a breath, but kieran wouldn't let go of him until he his greedy mouth had drained him from the last drop of his cum. when kieran had finally pulled his cock out of his throat, nick began coughing violently, almost throwing up the obscene amount of kieran's cum.

"oh did i forget to mention it's been two weeks for me? saved it all for you ..." nick kept coughing, almost concerning kieran a little. he spit the mixture of cum and spit into the drain, could've sworn there a bit of blood in there, too. kieran had done this few times before, but nick wasn't sure if he really did enjoy this treatment by him. now on all fours from coughing, he looked up to see kieran smile viciously. "you took it well. proud of you. almost." nick's shock had quickly turned into anger, turned straight into his own cock. he felt himself getting hard again, thinking of doing things to kieran he usually does not enjoy all that much. or maybe it was the idea of doing something kieran didn't enjoy, either way, he was going to act on it.

"turn around." nick got up and towered over the smaller man, feeling in absolute control all of a sudden, which, realistically spoken, he was, kieran would stand no chance against him in a physical manner. kieran's smile dropped "i'm not letting you fuck me, know i can't stand it." nick grabbed kieran by his wrists and pushed him against the wall with force, spreading his legs. "just this once. you'll like it when i do it ... different from pickford. i promise." kieran looked at him, feeling completely overpowered, in doubt, yet about to the let the heat of the moment take over. his face was fully pressed against the wall, turning his head to the side to meet up with nick's eyes. one reassuring wink from kieran, a nod. was it a nod? he took it as such, kieran had stopped fumbling around, his grip becoming looser. nick spit into his hand, spreading kieran's cheeks before pushing himself into kieran with force, a single painful gasp escaping from his mouth. nick began fucking his hole with no mercy, almost angry, only having his own pleasure in mind. nick became suddenly painfully aware of whether kieran enjoyed this at all, loosening the grip around his wrists to find him not fight him, but place his hand's on either side of nick's hips, coordinating along with nick's movements. nick laid his hands on top of his, fingers conjoined. "you feel so good ... fuck. so good." nick moaned with every push into kieran's body, him doing the same. he began kissing his mouth, sloppy and in ecstasy, their moans echoing into one another's mouths. one, two more deep thrusts until nick felt close and pulled out, didn't want to cum in his ass first time they'd done this.

he began stroking his cock with speed, knowing he was about to combust. "where should i cum? do you mind if i..." kieran spoke no word and got on his knees, opening his mouth as far as he could. nick gave himself a few more strong pumps from his fist, placing his cock straight onto kieran's tongue, watching his release rushing down kieran's throat in quick succession. he swallowed all of it, not thinking twice. when he was done he wiped a bit off the side of his mouth and gave nick an exhausted smile. "well... not sure what to say." nick felt weird about the whole thing all of a sudden, turning off the water and stepping out of the cubicle, kieran following immediately. "hey i didn't mean i didn't enjoy it, just a little. you know. we don't have to talk about it. it's fine." nick dried himself up and swung a towel around his waist, kieran doing the same.

nick didn't look back at kieran. "let's see what the others are up to. they must wonder where we are."

#fic

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mrsarnasdelicious · 1 year

Text

The Band of Bebbanburgh - V - Enter Sihtric

"We're gona fuck up Kjartan's shit." Ragnar bristles. "No we are not." Uhtred tries to temper him a little. But he knows it is useless. Knut and Rollo will rile him up all over again. Not to mention Bridda hisses encouragements in his ear the moment Uhtred is out the door. He gets up. "C'mon." He gestures. Clapa, Halig and Leofric get up to follow him out. "I'll see you at the bar, you sad fuck!" Ragnar calls after them.

And indeed, both groups are at the local haunt they sahre. But Kjartan is there, too....

Uhtred joins Ragnar at the bar. "The fuck is that old cunt doing here?" He asks. "Running a fucking scam." Ragnar replies. "How?" Uhtred asks, after ordering beers for Clappa, Halig, Leofric and himself. Ragnar motions over his shoulder with his thumb. "Pitting people against his son for money." He replies. Uhtred snorts loudly. "He'd lose money rather than win it. Sven is a ratty coward." He says. But Ragnar shakes his head. "It is not Sven." He grunts.

Uhtred puts the pints on his table and wanders over to the circle of men, formed around two fighting youths. One is getting the absolute tar beaten out of him. The other has the same lean, sharp features as Kjartan. He is most certainly Kjartan's son. There is no mistaking that.

The other youth goes down spectacularly. Kjartan's boy backs off, loudly counting to ten. Kjartan declares his son the victor, from the top of his lungs, when the other lad stays down. And then he collects the winnings. Uhtred gives Kjartan's son another look and then goes back to Ragnar.

"Time we fuck up Kjartan's shit." He says.

Ragnar, Knut and Rollo dive into the crowd right away. Uhtred gestures to his rgatag band and follows him into the fray.

Too soon he stands eye to eye with Kjartan's son. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" He sneers, his fist flying at the boy's face. But the youth dances away. "Not you then, outclass me." He says witily. "Don't get fresh with me." Uhtred grabs the boy's Mjolnir pendant. The youth stiffens and all the fight goes out of him. He looks away, almost as though he is offering Uhtred his cheek, to receive his due punishment. Uhtred instantly feels sorry for the kid.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He says gently. The youth looks up at him. Uhtred briefly notices the kid has odd coloured eyes, one blue and one brown. It is so different, so strange. And so beautiful it gives Uhtred pause. "Why not?" The boy asks. "Because I outclass you, kiddo... What is your name?" Uhtred lets his pendant go. "It's ... It's Sihtric .. S-sir." The lad stammers. "Come with me, Sihtric." Uhtred says firmly. "Yes sir." Sihtric murmurs.

Once outside, Uhtred offers Sihtric a cig from his pack, but the youth declines. He pulls out his own, much thinner pack from his pocket. Uhtred borrows him his lighter and the lad's thin black cig soon spreads the warm, comfortable scent of vanilla.

"Why do you let your father use you like a fucking pit bull in a dog fight?" Uhtred asks. Sihtric shrugs his boney yet broad shoulders. "Cuz he beats me when I don't." He replies. "Fucking hell." Uhtred swears. Sihtric shrugs again. It's like a reflex. "I'll be fine." He says flatly. Uhtred grabs his shoulder. "I am going to help you with that." He says. Sihtric flusters and looks down at his beat up old sneakers. "You don't have to." He mutters. "But I want to." Uhtred says. "I can't repay you." Sihtric mutters sheepishly. "Not yet." Uhtred replies calmly.

Uhtred eventually takes the youth home, to his roomy apartment in the better part of town.

"You're staying with me. Ragnar and I will help you pick up your stuff after the weekend." He says. Sihtric only nods.

"Make yourself at home. You want a beer?" Uhtred sends the kid an admitting grin. "I .. I prefer cisder, s-sir." Sihtric stammers. "Oh? Why is that?" Uhtred asks, amused. He heads into the kitchen. Sihtric follows, like an anxious puppy. "Cuz my dad is a beer drunk. Beer got bad connotations now." He replies. "Plus, cider gets me drunk better and more pleasantly." Uhtred is surprised by that.

He grabs Sihtric a bottle of Koparberg all the same. "Aren't you too young to know what gets you drunk in what type of way?" He asks. Again he gets that reflexive shrug in response. "Gotta have some way to cope." Sihtric says. He opens his cider with one of his rings and takes a swig. Uhtred leans against the kitchen counter and watched Sihtric adam's apple bob as he swallows.

The young man is eerily gorgeous, Uhtred knows no other way to describe it. Sihtric is lean and sharp, both in his limbs and in his face. His arms are well muscles, biceps popping with even the simple motion of lifting his bottle. He doesn't have much of a chest, yet, but Uhtred can't be sure the kid's shirt isn't hiding abs. He's wearing a green tee, with the sleeves torn off and three quarter length jeans and very old converse. His legs are runner's legs, lean yet strong.

"Like what you see?" Sihtric asks. He sends Uhtred a sly, lewd little smirk. Uhtred takes a moment to think on an answer.

Sihtric's dark brown hair is long enough to fall into the small of his back. At first he had it tied away in a bun, as to not get in his way or be used against him in the fight. But he's taken it out of the plastic scrunchie and it now falls in a long thin braid to the seat of his pants. The sides of his head are shaved up, though. He has a whispey moustache and big doelike eyelashes. The same dark shade as his hair.

He established eye contact with Uhtred. Only now Uhtred truly appreciates the two different colours of his eyes. One a pool of green blue. The other a deep pit of hazel brown. Those eyes are sucking him in. He doesn't get beyond that, no longer noticing jewelry, other facial featurs or even the shape of Sihtric's lips.

"Yes, I do." Uhtred murmurs, more to himself.

Sihtric takes another swig of his cider and puts down the bottle. He saunters over to Uhtred. "You do, don't you?" He smirks. It's a snide, tricksy smirk. If Uhtred had at all had the brainpower to wonder if Sihtric is a gemini, he'd be right. He is indeed born under Loki's sign. But most of the blood Uhtred should have been using in his brain has sunken into his groin.

Sihtric goes to his knees in front of him. "You don't -" Uhtred begins, but past that it is like he's forgotten how to speak. Sihtric undoes his fly and opens his belt and buttons. Uhtred can only gape down on him. And the young looks back, bold as brass, with mischief in those mismatched eyes. Uhtred wants to haul him off to bed and claim him. But he just stands nailed to the kitchen floor.

Sihtric leans in to nuzzle at the cloth of his boxers, His cock is now painfully hard and peaking over the rim of his underwear. Uhtred groans and grabs Sihtric by his braid. The younger man moans. "Gods." Uhtred swears under his breath. Sihtric opens his mouth ever so lewdly. "You want me to fuck your mouth, huh?" Uhtred growls. Sihtric nods. "Go ahead, help yourself." Uhtred tells him.

He does not have to tell the lad twice. Sihtric pulls him free from his boxers and gulps him down at once. "Fuck, you are eager." Uhtred groans. Sihtric seems to be smirking around his cock. It is good, sloppy, but good.

Sihtric is actually not bad at giving head. He's got seemingly no gag reflex, taking Uhtred into his throat without even blinking. Uhtred feels his head spin with how rapidly his orgasm rushes to him. "Stop, slow down!" He all but hollers. Sihtric swiftly moves off. Threads of spittle lewdly connect his lips to the head of Uhtred's cock. But his eyes are suddenly nervous. "Was I not good, sir?" He mumbles. "Not good, you almost had me cumming right there and then." Uhtred pants. "Is that not good, then?" Insecurity seeps into his voice. "It was amazing, but I want to last a little longer. How about we do this in my bedroom, yes?" Uhtred says gently. He wants to reassure Sihtric he has done nothing wrong.

"Oh ... yes sir." Sihtric hesitantly gets to his feet. Uhtred tries to send him a smile. But he feels mildly foolish with his cock poking out of his boxers. But Sihtric looks at his erection as if it is made of hard candy. He even drools a little. "Come." Uhtred gestures. He walks to his bedroom, cock bobbing with every step. Sihtric hurridly follows.

"Good boy." Uhtred praises. Sihtric whimpers softly.

"Take off your clothes." Uhtred orders. "Yes sir." Sihtric says obediently. He obliges, taking off his shoes, then his socks, shirt, trousers and boxers.

Only now Uhtred appreciates Mjolnir hanging from the leather thong about the boy's neck. He indeed does not have much of a chest. He's wearing several rings and bracelets. And to Uhtred's surprise, a second necklace. A small silver cross dangles just above Thor's hammer.

"What is this?" Uhtred asks, taking the cross harshly between his fingers. "It .. It was my mother's, sir." Sihtric stammers. "It is all I have left of her." He sounds meek, maybe even scared. Uhtred lets the cross go, suddenly feeling like he is being far too harsh on the youth. "Come here." He growls, pulling Sihtric into his arms.

Sihtric is a bit stiff as Uhtred embraces him, at first. But soon enough he noses at Uhtred's neck. "F-fuck... you smell good, sir." He murmurs. "Please, say Uhtred." Uhtred whispers. "Uhtred." Sihtric whispers. He places open mouthed kisses on Uhtred's neck and then licks at his pulse point. Uhtred groans darkly. "Fuck, you are a minx, aren't you?" He grunts. Sihtric pulls away a little. "You can fuck me, if you like." He says, voice even.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Uhtred asks.

Sihtric seems to contemplate an answer. Uhtred waits with baited breath. But he does not push the lad. "Eventually." Sihtric then mutters. "Not tonight?" Uhtred murmurs. He isn't going to push the matter. "I gotta keep you primed." Sihtric replies, trying to sound coy. "You can also say you don't fancy getting fucked right now." Uhtred tells him gently. Sihtric shrugs again. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't." He says softly.

"You wana finish me off?" Uhtred asks. "Sure." Sihtric kneels again. Uhtred looks down on him, heaving a deep breath. "If you don't want to-" He realises it is all too little, too late. "Will you shut up and fuck my throat?" Sihtric sounds almost impatient. "Are you that needy for my cock?" Uhtred teases. Sihtric flips him the bird. "Yeah yeah." Uhtred rolls his eyes.

"Open your mouth." Uhtred oders. Sihtric obeys right away, opening his mouth wide. "Good boy." Uhtred growls. Sihtric squirms in his spot, his thighs rubbing together. Uhtred slaps the head of his cock down on Sihtric's tongue. Sihtric moans loudly. He closes his lips against the head of Uhtred's cock and tongues at his slit. "Fuck yes." Uhtred groans. He starts fucking Sihtric's mouth at once.

Sihtric does not gag a single time, even with Uhtred's cock all the way down his throat.

And then, Uhtred is cumming. Sihtric swallows around him. "Holy shit." Uhtred swears. He can barely believe how insanely skilled the youth is. Slowly he pulls out, before he becomes sensitive. "How in the fuck?" He rasps. Sihtric licks his lips and gets back to his feet. "I figured out early that getting a man off with my mouth saved me from having to ... receive them somewhere else." Sihtric avoids Uhtred's eyes.

It's like a gut punch. Uhtred feels like the wind is knocked out of him. Did he just violate Sihtric?

"Are you okay?" He asks hessitantly. "Yeah I'm fine." Sihtric says, slightly cold. "Not, Sihtric it is not." Uhtred makes to grab him by the shoulder. But Sihtric shurgs him off. "Please don't. I don't need pity." He all but sneers. Uhtred feels taken aback. "I'm ... I'm sorry." He mutters.

"You can ..." He swallows in a dry throat. "Kip on the couch, got it. You don't want me in your martial bed." Sihtric turns on his heel and heads back into the living room. Uhtred follows him. "Sihtric no." He said. But Sihtric scoffs and sits on the couch, his back to Uhtred.

Uhtred sits beside the youth, pulling him into an embrace. "I want to help you." He murmurs. "Sure you do. You just feel sorry for me." Sihtric snarks. "I do. And I see potential in you." Uhtred replies. Sihtric relaxes a little. "Potential?" There is hope in his voice. "Yeah, a lot of potential." Uhtred confirms, placing a kiss on Sihtric's shoulder.

#TLK #The Last Kingdom #Uhtred x Sihtric #Sihtric #Uhtred #arnas fedaravicius #alexander dreymon #modern au #smut under the cut

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dullahandyke · 4 months

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Ok back to dgs, trial 1 part 3 ^_^

We're like 2 lines in and auchi is already being misogynist... bro fuck of

[ID: a still from The Great Ace Attorney, in which Susato Mikotoba and Kazuma Asougi are both behind the defense bench.]

omg they're both here.... hello <3 squad...

Nooo shes leaving already... sads :(

The poison needs to have entered thru a wound... the burn mayhaps ? But then why steal the glass...

WAIT NK I JUSR RMEMBERED. HE HAD A FUCKIN TOOTH EXTRACTED THERE WAS A WOUND IN HIS MOUTH!!!! ok as u were

Brett's drinking animation is rlly nice tho... the zooms n shit

Oh this music is BANGING... idr the naming conventions of aa music and when they play but the one when brett goes full villain... mwah

RYUUS DOING RHE SCRAFCH BEHIND HEAD EMBARRASSED SPRITEEEEEE LIKE GRANDPA LIKE GRANDSON

[ID: Ryuunosuke Naruhodou's internal dialogue reads, "What is this, welling up inside me...? I've never felt like this before. It's a sort of conviction to break down all the discrepancies... It's so intense. Almost rage-like... And more than anything else, it's an animalistic desire... to take down my prey!" He then shouts, "Objection!"]

YESSSSS MY BOY LETS GO!!!!! also the lawyer genes r literally coming out it's so funny...

Brett destroying the bottle so it cant b tested for curare... first off suspicious as fuck, second off they can surely test the shards for trace amounts

Loving the view of multiple witnesses on the same stand I rlly like it... focusing on nosa while hosonaga is just standing there bleeding from the mouth in the corner of my vision

OH THIS MUSIC IS BANGGER I THINK ITS THE PIRSUIT THEME? LETS GO

All the music is so awesome in this game its polyphonous as fuck

Omg all the little chicks around the courtroom after brett's breakdown that's so cute...

YES ASOUGI USE YOUR KATANA!!!! so cools.... proud bf boasting abt how the naruhodou family will always b better than the auchi family

Jigoku mentioning the mission he imposed on asougi... why dont u fuck of.... I've noticed him being biased towards ryuu winning so that asougi can go to Britain that little fuck.... u dont deserve ur cool beard

Ok I know gumshoe is in charge of the confetti in modern aa but who the fuck is scattering sakura petals in this secret trial. Susatos in the fucking rafters lads

Oh God this victory theme is already so emotional.... gonna die to death when it plays eventually

SUSATO YAY SHES BACK!!!

Love asougi.... of COURSE hes taking the sword to Britain ryuu, why wouldnt he

Asougis little smile as he tells ryuu to celebrate... lets go my man

HEYRE NOT TAKING SUSATO TO LA CARNEVAL???????? BROOOO SHE DESWRVES IT GET HER BEEF!!!!!

Samurai on a mission again :) such a good song

And in comes the theme of destiny with the steel chair ??? Asougi saying he feels like ryuu is the one destined to b a lawyer instead of him... obvi its referring to the whole naruhodou lawyer thing but considering the shit asougi goes thru later... idk I'm putting a pin in that line

'You dont need knowledge of the law you need to BELIEVE' idk asougi it kinda sounds like u have this whole ace attorney thing down pat

'Asougi....mikotoba...susato.... hosonaga who didnt do anything but whatever...' go ryuu kill him <3

Finished the case jusr in time for bubbles to jump off me... now that's timing... ok I'm gonna go do shit (fold laundry, do some of my colour by numbers, etc) I'll probably start case 2 tonight... I shalt meet herlock >:) and other occurrences :( but also herlock >:)

#the gaelic athletic attorney

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