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liesoverthec · 3 years

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OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 2

Hi y’all I’m back! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reblogged the last details post - I sort of just thought people would like it and it would die, so to see it travel and hopefully reach more writers was so great so thank you again!

Details under the cut since I went a little crazy 😅 and if this is your first time seeing this, the first part, and any future parts, can be found under this tag here!

Quick note before I get to the details - always, ALWAYS take details from dialogue or plot over details from the set or props if they contradict each other. The writers have the ultimate say over what happens on the show/for the characters, so whatever they say goes, even if it goes against something props has already laid down (eg, Chim’s birthday, sorry Libra crew. He’s an Aries or a Pisces). So keep that in mind for the future in case some of these details I have which are from props/set are changed in the future, or if you’ve noticed something yourself!

Also if you have questions, I am MORE than happy to answer them, although if you leave them in the tags on this post I’m probably gonna lose them, so if it’s something you’d genuinely like an answer to, drop it in my inbox! Besides my standard “ask” tags, I’m also tagging asks about canon details with this tag here. Every time I make a big post like this, I’m going to link all the asks I’ve gotten since the last post, but if you’re looking for more info in the mean time, that’s the other spot to look!

Buck has a grill on his patio.

Eddie doesn’t hang Christopher’s art on the fridge - instead it is either hung on the corkboard in Chris’ room to the left of the door, or Eddie puts it in an actual frame and hangs it using a hammer/nails in Christopher’s room. All the Diaz family has on their fridge is a bunch of bendy people magnets. (I absolutely ADORE him putting all this effort into treating Christopher’s art like it’s something you’d buy from a professional artist).

Info on everyone’s ages can be found here. (Little more discussion of Chim’s situation here).

Albert has a bachelor’s degree! I don’t know in what though, except that it’s some field for which is a Master’s is useful.

Athena was in a sorority in college, Delta Sigma Theta. Their website describes them as “ ...a sisterhood comprised primarily of Black, college-educated women ... [that] considers the issues impacting the Black community and boldly confronts the challenges of African Americans and, hence, all Americans ”, which I love for Athena, and feel is very in-character for her at that time in her life!

Chim is an aviators dude. When he wears sunglasses, they’re always aviators.

Athena also wears nothing but aviators.

Bobby wears square aviators.

Eddie, on the other hand, always wears Wayfarers.

Buck either doesn’t really like sunglasses or he constantly forgets he owns them, since we’ve only seen him wear them once in 60 eps, in a move I’m pretty sure was ONLY for dramatic effect.

Hen’s sunglasses change style over the seasons like her regular glasses do, but she tends to like browline sunglasses.

Info on Christopher’s school can be found here!

There are two colors of dispatch polo, and there doesn’t seem to be any rhythm or reason for who wears what. Maroon - Maddie and Linda. Blue - Josh and May. Jamal has actually worn both maroon and blue, so it doesn’t seem to be TOTALLY set in stone although I’ve never seen anyone else switch. Sue is too badass to wear a dispatch shirt.

Both Bobby and Eddie drive 4 door pickups. Bobby’s is navy. Eddie specifically has a black, 2020 GMC Denali 1500 pickup truck (in case you want to specifically look up what the inside of it looks like or what features it has 😂)

Info on the 118’s medical certifications can be found here.

Correction to Eddie’s living situation from last post: no next door neighbors, but instead UPSTAIRS neighbors. (Pointed out by Abigail in this ask). Also since someone else was wondering the notes of the last post - no, there is absolutely no discussion on the show of whether or not Eddie rents the apartment or owns it. But based on the fact that it’s 1) LA and 2) an apartment, my guess would be he rents it.

When Maddie isn’t feeling like herself, she tends to straighten her hair rather than curl it. It seems to be more when she’s uncertain about her place in her own and other people’s lives, rather than just when she’s simply worried - eg it’s straight in 2B, when she’s uncertain if she wants to continue working as a dispatcher/is unsure about her relationship with Chim.

For work, Chim, Eddie and Buck all use black duffel bags with a LAFD patch on the top. Hen uses several different cute bags, and Bobby seems to have a plain black duffel bag.

Watches - Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen and Buck all wear their watch on their left wrist (but Athena ONLY wears hers for work, she takes it off at home.) Eddie wears his on his right wrist, and Maddie doesn’t wear one.

Chim (and Maddie by default) literally still have the exact same couch as in the pilot. (Which means that Chim has cuddled Tatiana on that couch, AND Albert has had sex on it. TIME TO GET A NEW ONE, BUCKLEY-HANS 😂)

The 118 has five different rigs - the engine (E118), the ladder truck (T118), two ambulances and the captain’s truck. 95% of the time, when the team is chilling in the cab of a rig and chatting (eg the ‘stuck under a live telephone pole’ scene in Jinx), they’re in the engine, not the truck. (Which I personally learned recently are NOT interchangeable terms!)

Athena and Michael got married when Athena was 37.

If you’d like to give Maddie a full name beyond “Maddie”, you should use Madeline. (I know, I know, in 4x04 she says Maddie is the name on her birth certificate, and that you should never use props details if they contradict script details, but I always thought that was a super weird exchange in 4x04 which could be explained by Maddie getting a nickname since she was born when Margaret and Phillip, you know, actually loved their kids and showed it, so of course Buck doesn’t get one, and in 4x04, Maddie was trying to avoid the entire issue of why she got one and Buck didn’t. But! Do what you want, and use Madeline as the full version of Maddie if you’d like, since that’s what’s on the BOLO in 2x13 😂)

Athena’s call sign is 727 L30, but she doesn’t have a specific squad car - the number changes throughout the series.

Chim really likes chewing gum, but he’s the only one out of the entire family!

The station has an Xbox One S, and it’s white.

In the real LAFD, there are stations 1 through 114. To avoid confusion while filming on the streets (I’m assuming), our fictional LAFD never uses the number of a real station. So if you want another station for a fic, and you want something that would be real in OUR universe, use the numbers 115 and above. They’ve gone as high as 221 in our universe.

Battalions - station 118 is in Battalion 7, which is also not a battalion in real Los Angeles. The 118 has interacted w/ Battalion 1, which is a real battalion, but other ��non-real which makes them more likely for our universe’ battalions include numbers: 3, 8, 13, 16, 19 and above.

S1 Buck knew the term Jedi, but based on context, didn’t understand AT ALL the context provided by Star Wars, so there’s another edge of his pop culture limits for you.

Chim is the most tech-savvy out of everyone, hands down.

Athena has a VERY active Twitter account.

Abuela’s house number is 8902. I don’t have a street name for you unfortunately though. :/

Athena’s favorite flowers are white roses. None of the other women are really flower people.

Michael likes to wear purple.

When they’re at a call, Buck does pretty much all of the stuff with the hammer and the saw. Eddie does all the work needed with the drill.

Harry goes to Meadowbrook Elementary.

Buck lives on the fourth floor of his apartment building, across the hall from Apt. 416. The lovely @lovelessmotel found this listing for what is more or less the apartment. What happened was: the set crew rented this apartment for the one episode at the end of s2 when Buck moved in, and then over the summer before s3 built their own set of it, and changed some things - eg giving him an island, and moving the sink to a second counter against the far wall, you can see the changes here in this amazing gif set by the awesome Austen, but the listing should let you click around a little more upstairs and figure out dimensions better than what the show provides!

When Athena and Hen go out to eat together, it’s always fast food burgers and fries.

Waffles are Athena’s favorite food, and tiramisu is her favorite dessert.

Every takeout we’ve seen Buck eat has always been in a Chinese food takeout container, and we know he likes Thai food the best. EXCEPT! The one time we see him eat takeout with Eddie and Christopher, they have pizza. So take from that what you will......

Eddie has a cell phone and a landline.

Chim is a shameless multiple texter.

Chim and Bobby sleep closest to the door in their respective bedrooms (both right side of the bed if you are standing at the foot, facing the headboard), and Athena and Maddie sleep furthest away from the door (left side).

Some canon last names for other firefighters at the station in case you wanna add more people to a fic - Mitchell, Sanchez, Serrano (woman), Porter, Meyers (woman), Maxwell, Voyta

Hen and Karen really love decorating their house with dark/red wood.

Karen is Mommy and Hen is Mama.

Bobby has a brother, and a grandmother, and that’s literally ALL we know about his family outside of Marcy and the kids.

Evidence points to Eddie being the oldest child in his family.

Karen has multiple brothers (no sisters), but no idea how many - just that one of them is named Trey, and one of them lives in LA and has kids. They might be the same brother and they might not be.

Both Hen and Athena are only children.

Athena has been on the police force for 30 years.

Christopher and Denny are the same age (born in 2011), and Harry is two years older than them.

Michael lives in apartment 308.

The bank in this universe is CalAm.

Hen and Karen have a picture of Denny, May and Harry on their fireplace mantel.

Eddie having a black thumb + a lot of plants in his living room = him buying fake plants bc he likes the aesthetic ™ or someone (cough Carla cough) is taking care of them for him.

The COVID timeline in OG’s universe is fucked up compared to the real world’s, so it shouldn’t be used as a way to measure time! They just throw it in wherever it makes sense for the story they want to tell (eg the vaccines in s4 ep 8), since s3 was both done before COVID hit but also airing while it was happening. It makes absolutely no sense for May to graduate in March nor for Chris to be going to what is specifically labeled summer camp, and the vaccine plotline was INCREDIBLY early, even for real life, so don’t use anything from that as a measure of time. I’ve found except in specific examples, eg the two tsunami episodes, it’s very safe to say every episode covers a week - fall holidays on the show line up with their real life counterparts, indicating about the same amount of time is passing for us and them.

On that note - Jee-Yun was born in late January, early February 2021. (Conceived in Pinned, which was end of March/beginning of April, meaning Maddie was around a month along at May’s graduation in May ➡ 42 weeks + 3 days from then = late Jan/early Feb. Which unfortunately means we most likely won’t see her birthday celebrated on screen. If we assume she was conceived on the date Pinned aired, aka the very sexy hotel scene, then January 21st or 22nd would be Jee’s birthday, depending on if she was born after midnight or not.

Buck has had at least one other Jeep between the one Maddie gave him, and the one he has now, which means that when he needs a new car, he is purposefully choosing Jeeps.

I hope this was all as interesting/enjoyable to you as it was to me! And just to repeat - I love answering questions so pls let me know if you have any at all ❤

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

Tagging: @buckbuckley

#911 fox #911 canon character details #athena grant #bobby nash #chimney han #hen wilson #maddie buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #bathena #madney #henren #buddie #userac #hey yall if anyone else wants to be added to these tags let me know #im happy to do so #I feel like I have v little for Bobby here sorry :/#I’ll work on getting lots for him next time

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the-lone-witch-and-secret-room · 3 years

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The Blight twins, codependency and fatal communication failure

Recently I talked about “the Blight children and toxic behaviors”, specifically about the tough love fallacy and how their parents get them to target each other rather than backing each other up.

In that post I mentioned wanting to make one specifically on the relationship of the Blight twins, and, well, here we are.

When we think of The Owl House and unhealthy/toxic platonic relationships, we think of the one Amity has with the twins in the earlier episodes, or Eda and Lilith, or the one the Blight kids have with their parents. I’m pretty sure very few people would look at these words and think of Edric and Emira… but it’s true nonetheless. The twins are raised in a very toxic environment that teaches them a lot of unhealthy mechanisms. The heavily codependent relationship the two siblings share is incredibly unhealthy for both of them.

Let’s get into why.

More under cut because hell this got long.

Who am I without you?

The Blight Twins always show up as a unit. They’re a set of two, who share the same track and are involved in the same shenanigans.

We never see them separate from each other in the show. Not a single time.

Their mother picks their matching outfits, according to Dana, because she likes her kids to be “color-coordinated.” They’re supposed to always look similar.

To Amity, they’re a united front—we don’t get to see her relationship to them separate from each other, we only get her relationship with “the twins.”

As far as I’m aware we’ve never gotten art from Dana featuring just one of them. They’re also often treated as a pair by the fandom (outside of their respective ships, that is), showing up together and showcasing very similar behaviors in fics, showing up together in fanart, etc.

We don’t have much content of just one of them with Amity (or anyone else that’s not their romantic partner).

You also don’t generally see them disagreeing a lot in fan content, which is interesting. Despite being two separate characters, they don’t get to actually be separate from each other a ton.

The main difference you see in their portrayal is in Emira being treated as the more responsible older sister, while Edric gets treated as more goofy (and a bit of an idiot), both in the show and fanon content. But that’s essentially it.

The twins are the twins. There’s no “just Edric” or “just Emira”. They don’t seem to exist without each other.

Their united front is both their greatest strength and their weakest link. They likely experienced a similar abuse as the one Amity went through, but they always had each other to lean on instead of enduring it alone. And while it definitely helps them a ton that they have each other, it also results in an unhealthy amount of codependency. Edric and Emira ONLY ever had each other. Their relationship with Amity is pretty bad and outside of that almost nonexistent up until Lost In Language, mostly used to hurt each other. Edric is always with Emira and Emira is always with Edric and there is no one else they can fall back on. Their most important relationship, the one with each other, is simultaneously the only one they have, one that they desperately clung to for a very long time. They don’t have any friends that we’re aware of.

Both Emira’s and Edric’s worst fear is born out of this. Despite being completely opposite fears, they stem from the same basic issue. In Enchanting Grom Fright, when they talk about their worst fears, Edric says “Being alone forever.” while Emira says “Being stuck with you forever.”

There is so much characterization in those two little sentences.

Edric has a fear of being alone because he’s always around Emira. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be alone, and he doesn’t want to find out. He doesn’t know who he is without Emira. This is somewhat subtle in the show, but she’s shown to be the more responsible of the two, preventing her brother from eating snow and being bitten by a bat. Edric looks to Emira for guidance, and his fear of being alone might stem from him not thinking himself capable of taking care of himself. Emira is smart and knows what she’s doing, and so Edric always runs after her. Even just entertaining the thought of being without her, without anyone to guide him, scares him so much that he proclaims it his worst fear. He likely leans on Emira a ton.

His desire to to lean on other people because he thinks himself incapable of handling issues himself comes with the possibility of him opening up easier, to the extent of oversharing, doing it so much that it becomes overbearing for Emira. But even if he can open up about some of the fears he has related to not meeting their parents expectations, he can’t really communicate the issues he has that involve Emira, because open communication about their issues is something they generally struggle with (see the point about lack of communication further below). Edric is under the impression that he needs someone else because he’s never been without Emira and doesn’t know what it’s like to exist without her. And as long as he has someone to lean on, he never has to find out if he’s truly as incapable as he thinks himself to be. His refusal to let go of her fuels his fear further—the tighter he holds on, the scarier the thought of letting go becomes.

Emira doesn’t know who she is without Edric either, and that’s exactly the reason she wants to break out of that dynamic so desperately. She doesn’t want to be nothing but someone’s twin for the rest of her life. She wants to just be herself, not have all her interests linked to her brother, for people to stop mentioning her only in the same sentence as Edric. She’s had enough of the matching. What Emira really wants is independence—from her brother, and, to a larger extent, her parents and their control.

Edric leaning on her as much as he does makes Emira feel responsible for him, and she struggles to let go of that because she doesn’t want to hurt him—but the tighter he holds on because he believes he needs her, the more overwhelmed Emira feels by her brother and the responsibility she holds for both of them.

Emira loves Edric, but she’s his sister, and can’t provide him with emotional support 24/7. Spending all day handling someone else’s issues can be pretty draining, especially when you struggle to share the ones you yourself have.

With Emira’s longing for independence comes a refusal to lean on anyone, especially on Edric, because she can’t at the same time let herself be vulnerable and need his support while also wanting to break out of their current dynamic. So Emira doesn’t talk about her issues, she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t lean on anyone. Emira is independent and strong and she doesn’t need anyone, especially not Edric.

It likely started out as them leaning on each other, but where Edric started to become too dependent on Emira always being there, Emira started growing increasingly overwhelmed and pulling back, catching them in a vicious circle of him trying to hold on tighter in order not to lose her, which causes her to draw back further.

To be clear:

a) Emira is not a terrible person for wanting to be away from Edric. What she said hurt him and came across as callous, but what he said harmed her too, even if the “why” that I just explained isn’t as blatantly obvious in the show. Edric isn’t a terrible person for relying on Emira so much, either. Neither of them are inherently malicious in any way, even if they do hurt each other. That they have to deal with these issues in the first place is rooted in the abuse they experienced, specifically in their parents treating them as a two-part set rather than two separate people their whole life.

b) I think it should be clear now why Edric’s behavior is toxic, but I want to address that Emira’s behavior is also an issue. While her desire for independence in itself is normal and healthy, she’s striving for a toxic kind of independence where she doesn’t need anyone anymore, which wouldn’t be good for her either.

Everyone needs to rely on other people sometimes, and if she doesn’t allow herself to, it’s going to cause some serious damaged in the long run. The most reliable relationship she had, the only support system she has, falls victim to her desire to be away from Edric… and only after she is she’s going to realize just how much she needed him, needed anyone to be there, too.

I think it’s very interesting that Edric’s and Emira’s issues are essentially inverted—they have the same root, but their problems are the exact opposite.

Edric is Emira’s mirror image.

This is also shown visually. With the matching clothes and identical dominant features (eye and hair color), they look extremely similar. Their beauty marks are what makes them into a mirror image rather than just looking identical, because they’re on opposite sides of their face. Emira’s is on her right cheek, Edric’s on his left. If they face each other, the marks mirror each other perfectly.

They had the same thing in the concept art I’ve seen of them too, but it was with identical earrings on opposite sides rather than beauty marks.

Caged Freedom

I couldn’t find a way to somehow smoothly fit this into the overlaying topic, but it’s an important part of the reason for their communication issues I go into below, and also just something that I wanted to go into, so take it or leave it.

The twins appear extremely confident, seem like they always get what they want (Amity even resents them for “getting away with everything”), but they really, really doesn’t. Sneaking out of school is the only way they can have the slightest bit of normalcy and freedom and control over their life, and Edric and Emira cannot be caught or it will come back to bite them—the reason they wanted to punish Amity in the first place is that she told on them for skipping, getting them in trouble.

Even within their “rebellion” against their parents, there’s a set system Emira and Edric have to operate within—matching clothes, perfect scores, not doing anything that could get back to their parents or harm the family reputation. Despite skipping school, they both maintain excellent grades. It’s said in Adventures in the Elements, Amity is even trying to beat their best score on an exam.

It’s a careful, calculated kind of resistance, not one that includes them openly opposing their parents. They do things their parents wouldn’t like, they tread lines, but they’re being smart about it, in hopes it will never get back to their parents. Even their limited freedom is caged in that way.

Despite seeming as confident as they do, they’re too scared to talk back to their parents. They cause exactly the kind of trouble that they know is possible to get away with without putting themselves in harm’s way. Going further, openly calling their parents out for how they’re being treated, would be dangerous, and so they don’t. They operate within the system and follow it as much as they have to in order to be able to push the boundaries even slightly.

Their endless confidence, their apparent fearlessness, is just another illusion of theirs.

They wouldn’t need to get back at Amity for telling on them if their behavior was just a huge “fuck you” to their parents. But they do, because their parents aren’t supposed to know. They’re scared, even if they’d never admit that.

Emira and Edric target Amity as a way to cope with the treatment they receive from their parents, which they to an extent blame on Amity (I’ve gone over this more in-depth in the toxic behaviors post I linked above).

Hurting Amity in hopes she won’t tell on them again seems safe in a way that actively calling out their parents behavior could never be.

Lack of Communication

Edric and Emira both have trouble communicating their feelings in a healthy way, and instead of open communication and talking things through they revert to backhand comments and punishment.

They grown up believing that severe punishments are necessary, “tough love” used to help someone improve as shown (and literally quoted) in Lost In Language in regards to Amity. That’s also something I go into my other Blight sibs post.

Regarding the backhand comments, let’s look at their worst fears in Enchanting Grom Fright again. As explained above, Emira’s “being stuck with you forever”-fear is a shitty attempt at trying to get across that she’s unhappy with never getting to be apart from Edric to just be herself. Edric’s “being alone forever” brings up a huge fear of his, especially of being abandoned by Em, which, regarding her worst fear, is justified.

Both of these fears are extremely understandable, and they don’t necessarily have to be at odds with each other—Emira just wants to not feel overwhelmed by Edric, and figure out who she is, and she doesn’t have to completely abandon him to achieve that, even if it’s something she might think she wants now. Edric has to find a way to be able to rely on himself more because Emira can’t always be around him, but he can still maintain a close, positive relationship with her, and would absolutely be able to make other friends that could support him.

What them voicing these fears is, for both of them, is a desperate cry for help, for change. Edric wouldn’t be bringing this up if there wasn’t a part of him that desperately wants to talk to Emira about this, and in the same way Emira wouldn’t have said her fear if she wouldn’t want it too. But the issue is that the twins don’t actually communicate. They put these huge things out there, validating the other’s worst fear with what they say. And then they don’t talk it out. These sentences just hang in the air between them, and then they move on like nothing happened, both anxious and hurt.

And this is because the Blight family in general doesn’t communicate. As mentioned before, the twins don’t dare to talk back to their parents, they do things behind their backs and hope they won’t get caught. They don’t communicate with Amity, and despite Edric and Emira being the closest person the other has, they don’t really communicate the issues in their relationship with each other either, because they don’t know how. This is not a skill they were ever taught, because talking things through like that requires them to be extremely vulnerable. To acknowledge what their worst fears are and why, that they might have gone too far or might have been wrong about some of the things they said, and therefore admit to not being perfect.

But Blights are required to be perfect, and Blights aren’t wrong—if others don’t see things your way, you make them. If others don’t act the way you want them to, you punish them. Tough love to help them grow and “encourage” them to make the “right” decision.

There’s no room for open communication in an environment that sees vulnerability as a shortcoming, and admitting mistakes as a weakness. If neither party is willing to take the first step, communication withers and dies, and the issues go ignored as they grow. Admitting there’s an issue in the first place, and that it might partially be your fault, is considered backing down. And Blights don’t back down. They can’t.

If you back down in business, let others convince you into a bad contact, you’ll never be successful. Worst case: it might be the end. And so you don’t back down. You never do. Blights don’t lose an argument. The other person has to break and back down first.

But that can’t work when both people involved were raised with that mindset. So Emira doesn’t make the first step, and neither does Edric, and aside from their backhand comments that never lead anywhere, they just suffer silently as their relationship disintegrates without as much as their acknowledgement of it.

For Edric, there’s also the issue that bringing up his fear might possibly drive Emira further away, knowing her fear. He doesn’t want to make her angry, and doesn’t want to fight with her, because it might lead to him losing her, which is exactly what he so desperately wants to prevent.

I can’t remember which post brought it up, but one post I read a while back also addresses how despite admitting that her behavior was wrong, we never hear Amity say “sorry” to Willow. Because if there’s one thing the Blight family does even less than admitting mistakes in the first place, it’s apologizing for them. Open communication is weak. Apologizing is weaker.

In summary: There needs to be a balance between depending on yourself and still being able to ask others for support when you need it, and Emira and Edric are currently sitting on opposite ends of the same issue. Both of them need to move more towards the middle. What one of them so desperately wants is what the other needs to recognize.

Emira realizes that she needs space from Edric, and because Edric doesn’t recognize it, he’s the one that needs space from Emira more. He desperately needs to realize that clinging to each other the way they currently are isn’t healthy.

Edric realizes that he needs support from other people, and that’s something Emira denies for herself that she really needs to realize.

They both have half of the solution to their shared problem, but their difficulties communicating the issues within their relationship properly prevent them from finding a healthy solution together.

For everyone that’s incredibly sad now (myself included): I cover these topics in several of my fics.

Most prominently, Locked Out, where I’m currently beginning to explore the Blight twins and their different mindsets further.

Most recently, Sleight of Hand, a collab fic I did with my friend @lexa-alycia, where, among other things, the twins have a long overdue conversation regarding the things said in Enchanting Grom Fright.

But also 6/8 of my currently posted Owl House fics (not counting another additional two that also do and are done but haven’t been posted yet) give focus to at least one of the Blight twins if not both, so yeah I have plenty of twins content on my profile for anyone that wants XD

Next up, probably (because I just do not want to be done with this apparently): a post regarding Vinem and Jerbric and why these relationships would work and be extremely beneficial for everyone involved.

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d-criss-news · 3 years

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1883magazine.com

Darren Criss

On his new EP ‘Masquerade,’ the multi-talented Darren Criss welcomes everyone to the party.

Throughout his career, Darren Criss has never been one to shy away from boundaries. As an actor, he has won numerous awards and critical acclaim for his portrayal of Andrew Cunanan in Ryan Murphy’s award-winning drama American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, as well as hearts and a cult-like following for his portrayal of Harry Potter in Team Starkid’s A Very Potter Musical. As a musician, his talent shows the same range; he is as well known for his ability to belt a broadway ballad as he is for his covers of Top 40 hits on Glee.

For Criss, this is because all music is simply music. Musicians and listeners alike need not box themselves into certain genres and while this concept is currently growing in mainstream media, it is one Criss has known since he was a teenager. At Warped Tour, he encountered fellow San Franciscans Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, a punk-rock cover band that specializes in the unexpected (their most played track on Spotify is Country Roads.). Inspired by what he’s always known was possible, Darren’s career has had freedom most artists take years to explore — and with his new EP, it’s clear that is the most recent chapter.

‘Masquerade’ is an exploration into Criss’ more eclectic side with each track on the record representing a different persona or masque for the artist. The overt character-driven quality of the EP lends not only to allowing fans to learn more about Darren Criss, but also to create a project where something can be found for everyone.

1883 Magazine spoke to Darren Criss about his perception of genre, his new EP, and the curse of creative people.

Congratulations on ‘Masquerade’. I love it. It’s so fun!

Fun is a very fair adjective, I would agree.

I feel like there’s a very cohesive vision or aesthetic to it. When you set out to make the project, did you have this end goal in min or were you just making music?

Yes and no. First and foremost, when you’re dealing with the whole of what an artist does, there are so many different facets that make the whole piece. To start, I’m just a songwriter — that’s the main thing that seeds everything else. But, because I’m a creative person, I’d like to think that I have a somewhat cohesive vision for my projects. However, you can conjecture and pontificate over what you want to happen, but ultimately a project is going to come out how it does. The thing that ties it all together, hopefully, is the artistry of the music or the person’s voice. When I heard you say “cohesive” my mind was like, “Phew!” Because we’re all scatterbrained people and we just constantly pray other people somehow think that we planned something or we had it envisioned all along, so to hear that is an enormous relief.

That being said, I had hope for how the EP would come together. I’ve been leaning into this notion of a character-driven song. The dirty secret about that is all songs are character-driven; all art is character-driven in some way or another. I just use that wording to aide folks that might be perceiving me as an actor and to apply that methodology to music.

How so?

I always thought it was a bit of an unfair double standard — where actors can be in a horror movie or romantic comedy — and we’re still behind that person as an actor. Actors can put on a prosthetic nose or a wig and do different things to service whatever story they’re doing. Historically music has been a little trickier, but now I think that’s changing. I’ve always been a self-proclaimed genrephile. I love so many different kinds of things. Growing up it was difficult for me to really assert this without confusing people. Now, that kaleidoscope has shifted in my favour, because people are more into eclecticism and musical diversity due to playlist culture and the whole homogeneity of everything. I’m employing this notion of being an actor and being behind a character and applying it to music by treating each song as its own kind of character. I want the art to correspond with that.

That’s an interesting concept to apply to music.

I know that everything I just said is horrifically more cerebral than it needs to be. If you like the music and it’s fun, great. I’m just trying to help people out that might be confused by perhaps some of the cognitive dissonance that’s happening between some of the styles. At the end of the day, it’s an artist’s voice, literal singing voice, and heart voice — what they have to say and how they say it — that tie everything together. People are more accepting of that than they used to be. This is exciting for me because I finally got to lean into something that I’ve always leaned into my entire life.

The last EP you released was ‘Homework’ in 2017. How do you think you’ve grown as an artist since then?

For me, obviously, there’s personal growth and professional growth. I think my growth is much more technical — getting better at recording music or being able to translate abstract ideas into physical recording — the things that I don’t think necessarily would be seen on the records. Again, much like an actor, ‘Homework’ was me playing the part of making a very low-key, singer/songwriter record. I’m a big believer in dressing for a party. I had some singer/songwriter songs that I wanted to honour. Each record I release shows a different version of myself that I haven’t gotten around to sharing.

The songs on ‘Masquerade’ are not like, “oh man in the past few years, I’ve suddenly become this person.” The EP was me finally getting in touch with my more Garage Band musician roots that I hadn’t been able to flex. It made sense to me to finally make this music. I had linked up with people that I thought could help me bring it to life in a way that hadn’t been done before and I felt like the timing was right. As I mentioned, it seemed like audiences might be a little more privy to this kind of thing.

I don’t want to be so stubborn as to think that there hasn’t been growth. I’ve been so lucky as an actor, that I’ve been busy as an actor. The only obstacle to me putting out more music, which I wish I was doing all the time, is time. I’m not an artist that just shows up, sings, and checks out. I’m writing, I’m producing, and I’m really in the weeds. It takes a great deal of investment, emotionally and mentally when I make music.

So, when you say, “you wish you were always releasing music,” do you mean to imply you have more music or at least ideas for more music?

I think the curse of creative people is that our ideas move faster than our bodies can execute. What this inevitably will create is a huge queue of unattended things that you will always be haunted by. From there, you have to catch as catch can. At any given moment, there’s still so much more in the queue that I want to put out. It literally took a global shutdown for me to finally have the time to look at the said queue, and say, “Okay, which project do I not only really want to do, but also do I have the resources to do and do I think fits into where I am right now?” Because I’m very cognisant of l where I am in my career. I have this huge selection of songs and when I have the time to focus on music, I go through and pick the ones I think fit where I am mentally and how I think other people are feeling.

With all these different genres of music you’ve released and all the music-centric projects that you’ve been a part of, is there a type of music that you enjoy performing the most?

I would say everything, but I don’t mean that in a way to just include everything. By nature, I’m a dot connector; I like shortening the distance between two things as much as possible and showing people how they can coexist. It’s my MO personally and professionally. Genre, while it has a lot to do with the cultural background and history of a type of music, is the boxes that we’ve arbitrarily made up to categorize and market music. I’m completely nondenominational when it comes to genre because all I can hear is chords, melody, and lyrics. It’s never been separated to me. When I’m performing live, I relish getting to lean in and bring together genres. I love using the setlist to show an audience how similar different genres are. For example, I’ll play a punk rock song and right after that I’ll sit at the piano and sing a ballad. My voice will be a little different, but it’s still my voice. Just like in acting, no matter what character an actor is portraying, it’s still their face and their body. Trying to minimize a distance between genres when I perform is an exciting prospect because I like getting audiences to rethink what they think they know about the differences between genre and how really at the end of the day it’s all just storytelling. So…I like performing it all.

I didn’t say you couldn’t say you liked everything. [Chuckles] That’s a perfectly acceptable answer.

I like putting all of it together specifically to show the similarities. Historically, all the great steps forward in a new kind of art form have been by mashing two or three seemingly unrelated things together. It’s happening constantly. It’s happening right now. Culture is a constant conversation back and forth. It’s a sharing of ideas that ebb and flow to create something new. I’m not saying that I’m taking part in this ancient conversation, but I’m certainly enjoying it. When I see pieces of it that I would like to showcase, I jump at the opportunity to do so.

Since ‘Masquerade’ has been in your creative bank for a while, what would you say inspired it?

Every song has its own inspiration. The album doesn’t really have an inspiration. If anything, I’m trying to make sure that I can show up for myself. I feel like with everything that I’ve done musically, I haven’t gotten to represent who and what I am and what I do. To me, this EP gets me closer to that goal. I still think that only a small percentage of me has been represented and that’s just because of time. I haven’t been able to focus on music in the way that I’d like, but ‘Masquerade’ is a huge stride for me.

Speaking of you being on Broadway, Elsie Fest is Sunday! On top of it just being exciting because it’s back, it’s your first public gig in almost two years. What did you miss most about the festival?

Listen, even without a global pandemic to worry about, putting on a music festival is hard enough. It’s one of my favourite times of the year because I’m very proud of what we’ve built and what we’ve continued to build and expand upon over the years. There’s been a community that has been built around not only people that come to the festival but people that have been part of it. I’ve followed these performers’ careers and I’ve been really grateful that we got a piece of their magic and got to be part of their journey at Elsie Fest. Magic which I can’t take credit for. I just lucked out with having incredible people perform. Over the years, we’ve had Cynthia Erivo perform twice. The first time she premiered a song called ‘You Will Be Found’ from a musical that would open in a year called ‘Dear Evan Hansen.’ We premiered a song from a movie called ‘The Greatest Showman.’ Keala Settle went on to win a Golden Globe for that song. Last year, we had a young girl from Disney sing for us — her name was Olivia Rodrigo. Those are just three examples. There’s been a lot of people that I’ve been thrilled to see do their thing. This year we have an incredible lineup. Barlow & Bear are coming, along with Jordan Fisher, Adrienne Warren, Pentatonix’s Kirstin Maldonado, and Alex Brightman. It’s gonna be great.

The obvious and the biggest answer is getting to perform live within as much of a safe and comfortable environment as humanly possible. Luckily we’re an outdoor festival, so that’s already to our advantage. I will be performing this new EP, but there is also a lot of music to catch up on and a lot of music I want to share. I’m mainly excited to share it with other human beings. I look at performing as a service industry. Everything that I do isn’t worth a whole lot unless other people experience it because it takes on a life of its own. The audience is not there for me & I’m there for them. I’m trying to service an experience that’s bigger than both of us and create something that couldn’t have been there if both parties were on their own.

Before I let you go, I need to tell you that Tramp Stamp Granny’s is one of my favourite bars in LA. I’m obsessed! I haven’t made it back yet. Like I said earlier, the editor Kelsey is also one of my best friends and when she comes, it’s top on my list of places to take her.

Really?! That makes me so happy. You couldn’t have said a better thing. We’re open again to limited capacity. We require vaccinations cards at the door and we’re only open Thursday-Saturday. Talk about being with people — the night we reopened, about a month ago, I got pretty emotional. It was nice to see people just being happy to sing and celebrate life with strangers. That was a really encouraging sentiment because despite the use of digital communication which I do think is an amazing thing, we, so clearly, inevitably, yearn for each other. Despite everything, people were coming to the bar and were so happy to be there and be around other people. Our need for other human beings is a constant that is extremely encouraging to me as a bleeding heart idealist. It’s nice to be a small part of that.

Finally, you said earlier Barlow and Bear were going to be at Elsie Fest. I cannot wait for the Unofficial Bridgerton Musical and was so excited to see you’re involved.

It’s cool meeting them because in a much more organized and impressive fashion they’re doing what my friends and I did ten years ago with ‘A Very Potter Musical.’ They are insanely talented and deserve to be the huge phenomenon they have become. They’re the future. I’m trying to grab onto their coattails however I can. [chuckles] They’re just getting started. I’ve been a big fan of Emily’s for a long time. She hates it when people say this, but [mock yells] she was a child prodigy and she still is. She’s an amazing human being.

Masquerade is out now.

Follow Darren Criss @darrencriss

Interview by Sydney Bolen

#darren criss #1883 magazine #elsie 2021 #masquerade ep #tramp stamp granny's #homework ep #press #august 2021

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koishua · 2 years

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i’m cute? you’re cute! 💖💖

i’m also sorry for responding to this so late AKSNSH but school kicked my ass today,, had a long day of school + a shit ton of hw :’) i’m responding to this right before i go to bed though HAHA

i feel like getting to be more familiar is really just spending more time with e/o ig? so hopefully as more time passes, things would get better. tbh i don’t think they don’t respect my efforts HAHA honestly they all seem pretty chill, they’re just … really quiet ^_^ but yeah with things like this i think it’s a two-way street too, i can def try to be less in leader mode and more relaxed and casual w them! but it takes time yeah and i think it’ll get better when we get to know e/o better :]]

it is nice having familiar faces arnd! i’m a lot more comfy w them and we’ve also gotten closer ^_^ it rlly isn’t possible being close friends w so many ppl but i mean,, my mom alw tells me that you only need one or two close friends in your life and that’d suffice!

ooo what’s A Thousand Splendid Suns about? i haven’t been reading much outside of tumblr recently bc of sch :’) hopefully i can start a book soon tho! i’ve heard of Howl’s Moving Castle! unfortunately, i’ve never had the chance to watch it tho,, but i think one of my bucket list items is to watch all Studio Ghibli movies at least once! the art style is so pleasing i feel like i’d have a great time just appreciating the art! i’ve only watched spirited away from Studio Ghibli but i loved it a lot!!

for me,, i’d say my blanket HAHA it’s just like a security blanket (oops pun unintended) for me it’s so warm and cozy inside i just like to snuggle in it! actly i’m typing this ask while tucked into my blanket so i’m feeling so so comfy rn! 🥺 but i’m sorry if this ask doesn’t make sense i’m kinda sorta sleep deprived rn so i need to go to sleep SJDH sooo gn! (even tho we aren’t in the same time zone i think)

- school anon

(yes i’m fine being tagged as school anon … for now! it’s not a very,, pleasant name — cuz ew sch — but i don’t have any brain juice to think of a better anon name rn so i’ll just lyk when i’ve decided if i want to change my anon name/what i want to change it to!)

*insert infinite uno reverse card meme* ur cute times infinity plus one 🙁

im so sorry to hear that school has been treating you like this :(( things are difficult these days, so i hope they'll have some mercy on you guys and at least lighten things up a little bit there ://

ah so they're more low tension ppl, i get it heh :') how longs has it been with them anyways?? so yeah take it easy, love <3 and your mom's super correct too!! i always heard that you only need one true friend who'll stay with you when the other hundred turn against you haha it's kinda like a proverb so it doesn't really make as much sense in english but oh well you get my point. a handful good friends are enough 👌

the book im reading about narrates the life of a few afghan girls in the years 1960/70(ish)-present time and it's kind of triggering in some aspects, so definitely be a bit cautious if you ever decide to read it! i have a few issues with the book bc of how it portrays islam and muslim men and women and stuff (things that really do happen but my issue is just the fact that some people who read it might not get the diff between a culture and the religion they additionally practice and whatever but that's a story for another time!) just thought i should give it a read bc it's a literature classic (i guess, at least) there are so many beautiful quotes that i adore though :( im halfway through so i am not done yet heh

ah you've heard it okay!! omg spirited away is my absolute favourite studio ghibli movie ☹️‼️i have always watched it to comfort myself ever since i was a kid haha kind of nice too bc me and the movie were born in the same year!! can't say i have watched every single studio ghibli movie but everything i have watched just make me feel so complete and fuzzy an cozy inside :')

aww that's so sweet :( i can imagine the safety it brings haha have a cozy cozy warm little sleep then and make sure to try to catch enough hours of resting time‼️‼️us school kids gotta at least try to gather energy for the next day of battle smh

(do tell me when you need a name change bc yes ew skewl 🤢🤢)

#school anon

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creative-type · 3 years

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wake from death (and return to life) ix

AO3 first summary: Zoro had always been told Kuina died falling down a flight of stairs. But she didn’t fall, and she wasn’t dead.

It took Kuina almost five minutes of dangling over the rails of the ship to realize there was no wind. She was punch-drunk and giddy, the weight of uncertainty rolled off of her shoulders now that she had a clear path forward. She was a Revolutionary. She was going to be the greatest swordsman in the world.

Kuina allowed herself those five minutes. With everything she’d gone through in the last week and a half she’d more than earned them, and it had been so long since she’d felt any real excitement for her future. But no swordsman worth their blade would let themselves get lost in childish emotionalism. Kuina steadied herself with a few deep breaths, mentally drawing in the flights of fancy that had momentarily escaped from her imagination—daydreams of facing Dracule Mihawk at the behest of the Revolution, of proving once and for all that she could do what so many thought impossible, of reuniting with her father and Zoro proudly bearing the title Greatest.

It was like trying to wrangle a gaggle of unruly children. The more Kuina struggled to contain herself the more her imagination tried to run free, but she managed to settle back into the state of tranquil serenity that was more befitting of her training. The practical side of her, the part that quietly disapproved of this most recent turn of events, knew that now that she’d painted the broad strokes of her future it was high time to figure out what the hell Aria de Gris was doing now. It was then, and only then, that she noticed that the air was unnaturally still.

The sailors around her were not perturbed even as the Valor’s sails hung limp from their moorings. Kuina could feel that they were moving on the clear, mirror-flat sea. Slowly, but that was better than being dead in the water. Kuina wandered to the ship’s bow, noting that the Valor was sailing almost due south. If the Revolution had followed the same heading since leaving Tolouse, and Kuina had been unconscious for two full days, that meant…

“Don’t worry, we should be out of the Calm Belt by the end of the week.”

Kuina flinched, sword half-drawn before realizing it was only Dara using what had to be the most annoying Devil Fruit ability in the history of the world. Dara laughed as she popped out of the deck, hooking her thumbs in her pockets as Kuina shot her a glare.

But most of Kuina’s irritation was at herself for letting herself be caught by surprise, and she returned her attention back to the water. It was impossible to sail through the Calm Belt without some sort of engine, which the Valor lacked, to say nothing of the danger presented by the innumerable nests of sea kings that buffeted the Grand Line from the Four Blues.

Even as Kuina tried to wrap her mind around it, a dark shadow emerged from the depths directly in front of the ship. A high-pitched, eerie wail, almost like a siren’s song, reverberated through the air and deep into Kuina’s chest.

A monstrous head breached the surface so close to the Valor it sent rippling waves across its hull. Sprays of water jettisoned thirty feet into the air, exposing only part of a stripped, misshapen body before submerging once more. Great flukes, as large as a whale, but covered with algae-like strands of hair, slapped against the surface of the sea and sent sprays of salty water against the deck. Someone in the crow’s nest above whooped out a cry of encouragement.

Thoroughly confused, Kuina looked at Dara, whose grin only widened as she pointed to a tiny speck bobbing to the space recently vacated by the leviathan. “Oh look, there’s Cam. Someone should send a boat after her.”

“As if she’d take it!” a Revolutionary Kuina didn’t recognize shouted from across the deck.

“True,” Dara said contemplatively. Beckoning Kuina to follow, she meandered to the starboard side of the deck and loosened a rope ladder into the sea. “It’s probably faster to just let her swim.”

If Kuina hadn’t been so amazed by the fact Camille hadn’t gotten herself eaten, she would have marveled at the speed with which she cut through the unnaturally-still sea. Kuina considered herself a good enough swimmer, but Camille looked like she’d been born for the water. She moved like she was part fish, each stroke strong and graceful, returning to the Valor in moments. When she climbed back onto the decks she seemed sad to be there, looking back longingly at the water.

“So, how’s Fin?” Dara asked.

“Good, good. I adjusted the harness to fit more comfortably.” Camille arched an eyebrow at her friend while adjusting a leather thong around her neck, from which hung the biggest tooth Kuina had ever seen. “And his name isn’t Fin.”

“Well since you haven’t said what his name is, you’ve left me no choice but to improvise,” Dara retorted. She nudged Kuina in the ribs. “Can you believe she went through the effort of taming a sea king and then didn’t name it? ”

“You tamed a sea king?” Kuina said. “ How? ”

Camille rolled her eyes. “I didn’t tame anything. We’ve just...reached an understanding.” She gave Kuina an appraising look. “I’m surprised the doctor let you out of her grasp so soon.”

“She almost didn’t,” Kuina admitted.

Dara wrapped an arm around Kuina’s neck, ignoring the choked yelp of alarm and Kuina’s efforts to squirm free. “Forget about that! Did you hear, Kuina joined up. She’s officially one of the team!”

“I thought that was a given.” Camille said, utterly disinterested as she wrung the excess water from her shirt.

“When did you hear that?” Kuina said at the same time.

“Pfft, Dara knows pretty much everything on this ship,” Camille said. “You get used to it.”

Kuina frowned. She didn’t like the idea of someone with Dara’s ability nosing her way into business that wasn’t her own. If there was anything she’d learned since sailing with the Revolution, it was that there was very little in the way of privacy while at sea. Ships crowded everyone together, crewmates eating, sleeping, and working in close proximity. While the forced closeness had its advantages, Kuina was used to spending great blocks of time alone. It was something to get used to, and to be wary of.

“Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me,” Dara said, tweaking the end of Kuina’s nose. “You saved me from losing five hundred berries, and to Lizard of all people. I am at your service.”

It took Kuina a moment to remember Dara’s ill-thought wager with Elizabeth, and before she could voice her protest Dara had taken her by the arm to make official introductions to the crew, Camille laughing a half-step behind.

There was John the cooper, and James the blacksmith. Among the deckhands Kuina was introduced to rapid-fire were Kojo, Zhao, Lin, Char, Sean, Jen, and Tiva, and by the end of it she had gotten them so thoroughly confused with one another she had no idea which one was which. Others were working belowdecks, or off-shift and resting.

Elizabeth was still regretfully in charge of cooking duties, while Lyudmila was the ship’s quartermaster and second in command. Kuina was surprised to hear that in addition to taming sea kings in her spare time, Camille was the crew’s navigator.

“And what is it you do?” Kuina asked as Dara dragged her back below decks for the grand tour.

“Get newbs like you up to speed. Now here’s Trini’s room—try not to get stuck in here unless you want to spend the afternoon feeding lettuce to snails.”

Kuina blinked in amazement. The communications room was packed full of terrariums housing snail phones of every size and color. At its center was an enormous machine that looked vaguely like what the marines used to send their faxes, with thin cords attached to half a dozen den den mushi. Behind the machine sat Trini wearing an oversized pair of headphones, deep in concentration.

“She’s scanning the airwaves,” Dara said in an exaggerated whisper, carefully closing the door once more. “Not that there’s much to intercept in the Calm Belt, but you never know with the marines these days.”

“The marines can cross the Calm Belt?” Kuina said. “I can barely believe we’re crossing the Calm Belt!”

“It’s all thanks to Fin. Sea king bulls don’t typically fight with one another unless it’s mating season, so even if he’s pulling along a tasty treat we should be all right. I think his song has something to do with it, too.” She made an exaggerated gesture. “As for the marines, I have no freaking clue, but it must be a pretty new development since Boss doesn’t know about it, and the Valor isn’t sea-king proofed either.”

“That’s right, this was a marine ship,” Kuina murmured, looking up at the planks with fresh eyes. It was funny, without the marine’s distinctive painted hulls, she’d never would have been able to tell the difference.

“Oh, yeah. Came with all the amenities, which is how Trini got her state of the art snail room.”

“So if you guys had a sea king snuck up your sleeve this whole time, why didn’t you use it during the battle?” Kuina asked. “A monster that size would have been useful on Tolouse.”

“Ach, must everything be about fighting with you?” Dara said. “You must never have seen a real sea king, but Fin’s practically a baby, not even half-grown. And it’s surprisingly smart—for all my teasing, Cam was right. The thing has a mind of its own and acknowledges no master. I don’t think we could get him to attack a ship if we wanted to.”

“But he’ll pull a ship through the Calm Belt?” Kuina said.

“It’s better than going the long way around, eh?” Dara said with a shrug. “Come on, I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping.”

At the barracks, Kuina had her choice of seven open bunks. One, which happened to be closest to the door, had a small crate propped on top of the thin mattress. Inside was stuffed with clothes and basic belongings. When Kuina looked askance at Dara the light in her eyes dimmed.

“That’s Danny’s stuff,” Dara said. “The rest who died already have their things stowed for when we get back to base, but as far as any of us know she doesn’t have any family so we’re not really sure what to do with hers. I’d say for you to take the clothes since you don’t have any, but I don’t think they’d fit.”

Kuina drew her fingers over the box, trying to think if she’d said anything about any family in their short time together, but all she remembered her mentioning was an apprenticeship under a cruel master. Kuina’s throat tightened as the memory of Danny screaming hysterically echoed in her mind unbidden.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Dara rubbed her neck uncomfortably. “It happens. I already told Boss when I bite it to sell all my stuff and use the money to have a party. If you all can’t be happy, at least you’ll be drunk.”

“I don’t drink,” Kuina said.

“Then you and Mila can be mopey together,” Dara said with determined cheerfulness. “It won’t matter to me, I’ll be dead. Now, where do you want to be? I’d be careful about that middle one there, it’s next to Lizard, and she snores terribly. ”

Kuina took the hint, and changed the subject, trying not to wonder how many of the bunks available to her had only emptied after the battle of Tolouse.

After the tour came lunch, and with two solid, if not especially tasty, meals under her belt, Kuina was beginning to feel more like herself again. The itch to train was back, and Kuina wanted nothing more to test the limits she’d recently expanded and chase after the high of battle, but much like her time on Belo Betty’s ship she was first subjected to the humiliation of being the newest and lowest-ranking sailor on a large and understaffed warship.

“You’re kind of shit at this, aren’t you?” Camille observed from her perch at the ship’s bow, watching as Kuina ran her mop over the deck for what felt like the hundredth time.

“You could help,” Kuina said.

“And deprive you of the opportunity to learn? Never.” She gave a long, catlike stretch. “By the way, you missed a spot.”

Kuina muttered an oath as she stabbed the mop into the bucket. “It isn’t as if it’s dirty.”

“Water expands and seals the wood, salt protects against rot.” Camille yawned, as if bored by the conversation, and wandered back to their useless rudder. As she passed Kuina, she said, “If you want to live in a drippy, softwooded ship, be my guest. As for me, I’d prefer not to die the first time a Grand Line squall hits.”

She left Kuina with her head bowed and cheeks burning. But the words had their intended effect and Kuina redoubled her efforts, determined from that point on that no one could in good conscience reprimand her sailcraft ever again.

It was nearing dark when de Gris and Lyudmila emerged from the captain’s quarters to call a meeting with the crew. After a long day of labor, Kuina’s muscles ached and she yearned for the sweet respite of bed. And it wasn’t as if the work had been taxing, especially after Clara Cross emerged from the infirmary like an avenging angel to tell off the entire crew, but especially Kuina, for overexerting herself.

There were some things not even Devil Fruit magic couldn’t sweep under the rug, and apparently the exhaustion of a near-death experience was one of them.

“All right everyone, gather round!” de Gris yelled. “Watchmen too! There aren’t any ships out here, and if the sea kings come after us we’re fucked anyway. I want everyone to hear this. Where’s Trini? She can leave the damn snails for ten minutes.”

The crew scrambled to obey the order. Kojo (or maybe Sean) went to gather those who were still belowdecks. Minutes later everyone was assembled in a loose circle around the main mast, with de Gris at the center. She paused a moment to ensure everyone was paying close attention, and under her stern gaze the idle chatter vanished into deathly silence.

Rays of dying light cast against de Gris’s back and framed her face in deep shadow. “I know you all have been wondering lately why the hell we were called to the East Blue so suddenly, and why we’re leaving just as quickly. I’ve heard you lot asking where our next destination was and wonder why I’ve not said where we’re going once we hit the Grand Line. Well, the answer’s simple. Until today, I didn’t know.”

From the folds of her coat, she pulled out an old and crumpled sheet of paper. Kuina squinted her eyes and was just able to make out the blurry picture of a masked figure. The bounty underneath, however, was clear as the sky above. Master-at-Arms Gemini, Wanted Dead or Alive. Bounty: B48,000,000.

Beside her, Dara snorted. “Oh, I bet the marine who thought up that name thought he was very clever.”

It was difficult to tell much from the photograph, but the one detail that was absolutely clear was Gemini’s strange, double-segmented arms, too long for an ordinary human and vaguely insectile. Kuina, who’d never seen anything like it before in her life, wondered what it would be like to fight someone who essentially had two elbows.

She brushed the thought away and turned to Gemini’s face. Their mask, fittingly enough, was divided vertically into halves, one dark and one light. The side that was dark was completely bereft of ornamentation; Kuina couldn’t even make out an eyehole to see out of. The side that was light, however, was painted with a garish grin. A shock of wiry black hair fell past their shoulders, but beyond that it was impossible to discern any identifying features. Baggy clothing and the poor quality of the photograph obscured anything else, even gender, and after spending this much time under de Gris's command, Kuina knew better than to assume.

“Gemini is a prominent figure in the criminal underground,” de Gris continued. “Arms dealing, drug trade, slavery, the whole lot. Removing them from the equation will make the world a safer place.”

“What’s an arms dealer got to do with the Revolution?” someone to Kuina’s right called. “And what have they got to do with the East Blue?” A murmur of agreement rippled through the crew.

“Enough!” de Gris bellowed, silencing them once more. “Tolouse's government were slavers, that much is now clear. They called it political exile to a labor camp, but the end result is the same—the World Government gave the king kickbacks for human chattel, using the Callihan Trading Company as a middleman. And we now now that the CTC was taking orders from Gemini. If Gemini is willing to go through so much effort to set up a scheme in some East Blue backwater, who knows what other fingers they have stuck into various pies around the world.”

“So we’re going after them,” Camille said, crossing her arms across her chest.

“That's right. So far Gemini has been able to stay one step ahead of us, but with the intel gathered on Tolouse we have the upper hand.” De Gris marched to the mast. In one smooth motion she drew a dagger hidden in her boot, and stabbed the bounty deep into the wood.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to Kyuka Island. In the days ahead I’ll be divvying out assignments. Any questions are to be directed toward Lyudmila or myself—out of an abundance of caution, you’re not to discuss your orders with anyone else on this ship. I’ll keelhaul anyone who tries.” At this her gaze went directly to Kuina, who got the impression these instructions were given strictly for her benefit. "Kyuka is marine territory through and through. I pray none of us fall into Government hands, but if we do, it's safest for the Revolution that each individual knows as little as possible about our plans."

After a pause, and hearing no objections, de Gris lit a cigarette for herself. “I’ll pay anyone who finds any intelligence on Gemini that leads to their capture or death the full value of their bounty. I’ll pay double to anyone who brings me their head. This chase has gone on long enough, I want this bastard dead. ” She flicked a bit of ash off the end of her cigarette and added, almost as an afterthought, “Dismissed.”

A gap in the circle opened to let de Gris through. As she passed, she grabbed Kuina by the shoulder. “Come on, greenhorn. It’s time we sort out your position on this ship.”

For the second time that day Kuina was led to the captain’s quarters. De Gris’s desk had been cleared away, the sea charts rolled back into their proper places and ashtrays emptied. Kuina slid back into a chair that smelled like tobacco. “What is it? Does the Revolution have Articles of Enlistment for me to sign? Is there a manifesto I’m supposed to study?”

“Don’t be stupid.” The sun had almost dipped below the horizon, and de Gris found a box of matches to light a kerosene lamp. The orange flame danced on its wick and flickered with the natural roll of the ship. “I’m told Dara gave you the runaround today.”

Kuina nodded.

“Clara never came screaming at me, so I have to assume you’re not feeling too poorly,” she mused, taking the time to light another cigarette.

“I’m fine,” Kuina said, rolling back her shoulders so de Gris couldn’t see the weariness in them.

“And have you taken that sword out of its sheath even once today?”

“Uh...no?” Kuina said.

“Unacceptable.” De Gris leaned back in her chair and let out a long stream of smoke. “You’re not some swabby or rigging monkey, you’re here because of your blade.” She looked at Kuina as if she were an idiot for not realizing this sooner.

“I’m willing to work just as hard as anyone else on this ship,” Kuina said stiffly.

“And you will. Harder, even, since you’re so far behind. But a ship is like…” She gesticulated, trying to find the right word. “It’s like a person. A crew is its own organism, and every one of us has to fit into their part. You don’t expect a heart to do the same work as a kidney, and no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to be half the sailor as the people who’ve spent their whole lives on the water. It’s ridiculous to think otherwise.”

Kuina nodded. What she said made sense, and in many ways Kuina agreed with her. But there was something about agreeing with Aria de Gris that didn’t sit right with her, so she said, “I have to learn sometime.”

“Obviously. I’m not about to let you be a liability once we hit the Grand Line, but there has to be balance. You’re no good to me if you get yourself killed because you spent too much time studying the different types of sails instead of your swordsmanship.” De Gris was pensive for a moment. “I’ll have Mila set up a schedule for you in the morning. Half the day working chores, the rest training. A few of my men use katana, but you’re better than all of them. Most of what you’ll do will have to be self study.”

“That’s fine. I haven’t had a master in years.”

De Gris looked surprised to hear this, but didn’t comment. “We have regular sparing times as well, to help our less practiced fighters build their skill, and to give the mainliners a chance to get used to each other's styles. Depending on how this all shakes out, you might be pairing with Dara or Camille for the upcoming mission. Do you know how to use a gun?”

“Of course not,” Kuina said, caught off-guard by the question.

“Then you’ll learn.” De Gris cut off Kuina’s protests before they could begin. “Can you kill someone at twenty yards with your sword?”

“No,” Kuina said mulishly.

“Then you need to know how to fire a gun, and probably keep one on you as a backup weapon. I have no use for senseless pride on this ship, girl,” she said as Kuina scrunched her nose in distaste. It’s your job to listen to what I say, and it’s my job to try and put you in a position to not die. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Kuina said, still unhappy at the prospect of sullying her hands with a firearm.

Without warning, de Gris pounded her fist on her desk. The kerosine lamp tottered and threatened to fall, but her eyes never left Kuina’s, the scar on her cheek pulled taunt with her scowl.

“I said. Do. You. Understand ?”

“And I said yes, ” Kuina snapped. “I’ll learn to use you’re stupid gun, and when I figure out how to kill someone at fifty yards with my sword I’ll drop kick it into the ocean where it belongs." She crossed her arms across her chest. "I already told you I’ll do what you say so long as you don’t interfere with my ambition, so there’s no need to treat me like a child.”

They glared at one another for a long while, hackles raised, but this time Kuina refused to let herself be intimidated into backing down. Slowly, still without breaking eye contact, de Gris eased back into her chair and doused her cigarette. “I have put too many people’s belongings into boxes because they wouldn’t listen. For your own sake, I hope you’re not one of them.”

For the second time that day, memory of Danny's last words echoed in her mind. “You’re in luck, because right now I don’t own enough stuff to fit into a box, let alone anyone to send it to.”

“No one at all?” de Gris said, eyebrows raising.

Kuina’s breath hitched as she thought of her father back at Shimotsuki village. Would the Revolutionary Army be able to return her meager belongings home without the marines knowing? Would he be able to stand knowing she’d joined Dragon’s cause despite all his warnings? What about Ipponmatsu? He at least wasn’t under suspicion by the World Government...Or was he, now that she’d attacked Tashigi?

Of everyone she knew, it was probably safest to give her belongings to Zoro , but gods only knew what part of the Grand Line he’d found himself in. She almost laughed at the thought of him using two of her swords for himself.

“No one,” Kuina said. Her hands clenched into fists, nails digging crescent moons into her palms, but she kept her voice calm and her tone even.

After another heartbeat of painful silence, de Gris said, “Well, you’re not the only one." The words were probably meant to be reassuring, but Kuina felt they were anything but. “If you think of anybody, make sure someone knows.”

“I don’t plan on dying,” Kuina said.

De Gris snorted and lit another cigarette. “None of us do. Now get some grub and get to bed. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”

Kuina rose to her feet. After a moment’s hesitation, she bowed slightly. “Thank you...Captain.”

De Gris waved her away with a dismissive flick of the wrist. “You don’t have to break your teeth saying it. I don’t give a damn what you call me so long as you follow orders. Just know I take discipline on this ship very seriously. Cross me, and keelhauling is the least you’ll have to worry about.”

Kuina didn’t doubt it for a second. Murmuring her goodbyes, she left de Gris to her cigarettes and her musings, grateful to be able to swallow the clean sea air once more.

#wake from death (and return to life)#creative-type writes #holy crap it's been forever since I updated this #I think I missed several chapters on tumblr #I apologize in advance for being bad at promoting my own work #one piece #kuina #One Piece Fanfiction

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angeltrapz · 3 years

Note

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

#saw #eric #adam #william #mallick #strahm #rigg #asks #long post #THANK U I loved getting 2 answer this!!!#+ if anyone else wants 2 send more for different SAW characters I'm still open to these!!#dude I have So Many Feelings abt rigg lately goddd #also I just realized tht this is all my f/os. rigg is a platonic one But Still!!!

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omg-imagine · 4 years

Text

⊱ Forget Me Not (8/15) ⊰

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: Angst

A/N: I kept thinking this would be a short chapter but then BAM! words ahaha. Once again, thank you for the feedback! It truly means the world to me. I hope you enjoy!

Part 7

Since the spontaneous beach date in Santa Monica, time seemed to blend seamlessly from one day to the next. Nearly three, blissful weeks had flown by in a blink of an eye, and your relationship with Keanu blossomed like a fresh flower in the spring. The connection had grown more profound when the two of you crossed the line between friendship and romance, the sweet kiss on the sandy shores being the final push you needed.

The days that followed felt something akin to the beginning of the honeymoon phase in a relationship. Your parents had been right; Keanu was a good man who loved you very much. Each day he was winning over your heart more and more. He treated you like a queen with a tender adoration, unlike no other. He made you feel things you didn't believe anymore, pulling you away from the past you've known and despised, and replacing it with moments much better.

Keanu had made it his mission to bring you to all of the favorite places you used to go together. He took you to a fancy restaurant up in the hills, an art gallery you spent hours at, and most recently, a botanical garden where you found out about your newest affinity for flowers. Everywhere you went, Keanu shared with you cute little anecdotes from the last time you visited, adding more stories to cherish in your heart forever.

Along with that, you were also unable to keep your hands off of each other. Touches seemed to linger a little longer, and holding hands while out in public became the norm. You realized how much you were addicted to kissing Keanu, and how your heart would melt with every adoring look he gave after pulling away.

Sometimes, you would steal a kiss from Keanu when he least expected it. He would be in the midst of telling you about his day at the Arch office when suddenly, you would lean in and kiss the living daylights out of him. After a moment of surprise, he would quickly kiss you back, his lips perfectly melding with yours as he held you close. You didn't know of another man who could kiss you breathlessly like Keanu, and deep inside, you didn't want to.

You only wanted him.

Though the two of you had gotten closer over the last few weeks, you didn't miss the slight sadness hiding behind his eyes. Whenever you tried to get Keanu to open up about his feelings, he was often reluctant to do so, answering with short, vague responses that barely skimmed the surface. Something was clearly troubling him, and it was a bit worrisome that he couldn't tell you why.

But you still trusted him. Perhaps it was quite naive of you to believe that he has done nothing wrong, but he never gave you a reason not to. Your best guess was that he continued to blame himself for your accident. There could have been a quarrel that night, causing you to leave the house, which wasn't unusual for you to do so. After all, you did have a bad temper, and a bad temper was typically followed by impulsive decisions, usually unfortunate ones.

Such as driving in the dark, in the middle of a nasty storm.

And if you were correct, then Keanu shouldn't feel guilty about what had happened, and he needed to understand that.

"Y/N?"

A gentle voice spoke your name, and you glanced up, seeing Harry, the receptionist at the office. Your doctor had cleared you to return to work earlier that week, and you were excited to finally have something to do rather than stay at home all day. You weren't sure what exactly your job entailed, but being that it's related to one of your passions, you couldn't wait to get started.

"Hey, Harry," you smiled as you stood up from your seat, smoothing out the wrinkles from your blouse.

"Nicholas is ready for you in his office," the older gentleman informed you. "It really is great seeing you again here. Everyone was so worried when we got word of your accident and the amnesia. I almost didn't believe it until you walked in here and didn't recognize me right away. But all that matters is that you're fine now, and you're back."

"Thank you. I appreciate the card you sent me while I was in the hospital. It was lovely of you to do that."

"Of course, honey. You and I were inseparable, and I wish you could remember the shenanigans we've done here."

"Me too," you added. "Don't worry, one day we'll get lunch together and catch up."

"I can't wait." Harry beamed brightly, leading the way to Nicholas' office.

Stopping in the hallway just several feet from your boss' door, Harry turned around to face you. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," you answered, sensing the slight jitters in your body.

"Don't worry, Nick is a nice guy. You're going to love him," Harry responded before approaching the office and knocking lightly on the wooden door. "Sir, she's here."

Seconds later, the door swung open, revealing a tall man with a bright smile, joy and relief emanating from his face as his eyes settled on you. He was younger than you had expected him to be, more charming and good-looking, too. You felt Harry softly squeeze your shoulder before walking away, leaving you alone with Nicholas.

"I can't believe that you're back," he said, stepping to the side and allowing you to enter his office. "When Harry mentioned that you were coming to visit today, I was ecstatic. We've missed you around here. Well, mostly me because I thought I had lost the best assistant I've had."

Sitting down in front of his desk, you studied the walls around the room. It was decorated with what you assumed were his best works, as well as the plaques, certificates, and awards he had received for his talent. According to Molly, Nicholas was very well-known in the industry, and you were lucky to have worked alongside him.

"Impressive, huh?" You heard him say, and you shifted your gaze forward. "It took years of hard work and dedication. Not impossible as some people may think."

"I didn't pursue a career in this at first because that's exactly what I had thought—it was impossible."

Nicholas nodded. "That wasn't your mindset any more after you started working with me. You have the talent and tenacity. I could see you owning a successful business one day."

"Really?" You smiled at him.

"Surely," he replied, sliding a portfolio towards you. "Here, these are your most recent works. Back in January, we were doing this big fashion shoot in Prague. Soon after it was over, we went to Paris and then Milan. Your gift really shone at that time, and I'm very proud of how far you've come."

Flipping through the photographs, you couldn't believe that this what you were now doing for a living. It certainly was a step up from those boring 9 to 5 jobs you used to have.

"We actually have another project for a client coming up soon. It'll be a week in Japan, and I was hoping that you'll be well enough to come."

"That sounds amazing, and it would be an honor," you began, closing the portfolio and handing it back to Nicholas. "But I'm not sure if it’s the best idea to do so soon. I don't think I'm as good now than I was before the crash."

"Nonsense," Nicholas chuckled. "You are a natural, and I've known that since the very first day you walked in here. I'll tell you what, just think about it and get back to me in a week or two. I would really love to have you back on our team again."

"Okay," you nodded your head, accepting his suggestion. "I'll think about it and let you know if my decision changes."

"Good," he grinned, giving you two thumbs up before getting up from his seat. "Now, let me show you around and re-introduce you to everyone else. I'm sure they're all excited to see you."

---

You were practically skipping out of the building at the end of the day, overwhelmed with excitement knowing that you would be officially back to work next Monday. Although you wouldn't be doing everything you were usually responsible for, Nicholas was willing to use the time you're there to train you again.

As you walked to the quiet parking lot across the street, you heard the clicking of a camera shutter, a sound that was unmistakable in your ears. There was a sudden flash of bright light, followed by another click, whirr, and repeat. It was coming from behind you, you could tell, and your feet began picking up the pace. You could already spot Keanu's car which you had borrowed parked at the very end of the lot, and you quickly searched for the keys inside your purse.

"Damn it," you muttered when you stumbled, dropping your bag and its contents all over the concrete.

Your heart thumped wildly in your chest as you caught a glimpse of the stranger approaching you. It wasn't that you were scared that he might hurt you. You had become somewhat used to the presence of paparazzi whenever you and Keanu were out and about. But this was the first time that you were alone, cornered by one, and you didn't know what to expect.

"Here, let me help you, Y/N," the man's deep voice sounded as he crouched right beside you, a camera ready in his hand.

"No, it's fine," you gruffly spoke, grabbing your belongings and tossing them back into the purse as fast as you could. "Please, just leave me alone."

"Hey, there's no need to be worried," he assured. Though he wasn't menacing, you could tell that trouble lay ahead the more he spoke to you. "I only want to talk, that's all."

Finally, you stood up and swung your purse over your shoulder, walking briskly towards your vehicle. "No, I don't want to talk to you."

"Listen, Y/N, I'm running a story here about you and your boyfriend Keanu," the man trailed closely behind you. Merely a few steps more, you thought to yourself, and you would escape his bold intrusiveness. "There's been reports of your break-up before the accident—"

"Break-up?" you halted for a brief second, the mention of it catching you off-guard. Turning your head, you looked at the man in the eye. "You must be mistaken."

You didn't know why you were still talking to him. What you should be doing was getting inside the car and driving back home.

Back to Keanu.

But your mind couldn't shake away the strange feeling unexpectedly washing over you. You drew in a shallow breath, unable to ignore a certain uneasiness. You dared not to ask anything further, afraid that the man's answer would be nothing but hearsay. Yet, you remained intrigued, not fully understanding why. It sounded familiar as if it wasn't the first time you had heard it.

"Yeah, break-up," the man carefully nodded. "The two of you hadn’t been seen together in months. There were reports of tension between you and Keanu for a while. Surely this rings a bell, yes?"

You stayed silent. According to Keanu, no one outside your family and a select number of friends knew about your amnesia. His team hasn't caught wind of any article mentioning your current condition either, and you wanted to keep it that way.

"I-I have to go," you stammered out before promptly opening the driver's side door and sliding inside.

From the rearview mirror, you could see the man taking more pictures of you, even as you pulled out of the parking space. You drove away from the building and further down the street, turning into a convenience store lot once you were sure that you had gotten far enough. Putting the car in park, you sat there for a moment, hands still gripping the wheel as doubt gnawed at your guts.

The quiet purr of the engine filled the empty air, offering itself as a fleeting distraction from the hurricane of thoughts swirling inside your head. You didn't want to believe what some stranger had said to you, but you couldn't easily brush it off. It perturbed you, causing you to second guess everything you know, what Keanu has told you.

The perfect relationship you had painted— the one deeply ingrained in your mind for some time— was now falling apart. It crumbled down the more you tried to fit the pieces of the puzzle, your heart both seeking and fearing the truth. You had always ignored the possibility that Keanu could have been lying to you, pushing the idea of it away because you wanted to hold onto the happiness.

But perhaps you were indeed that naive after all.

---

Keanu flipped back to the first page of the script he had finished reading, thoroughly enjoying the plot and the storyline of the character he was being asked to play. He could see himself accepting the role and working on the movie scheduled to shoot early next year. The only thing holding him back once again was you.

Things between him and you were going great, to say the least. It felt like everything was back to normal. The kind of normal which Keanu had missed so dearly and at one point, thought that the two of you would never get to experience again. This entire journey of showing you the memories that you've lost was also reminding him of what was special about you. It reminded him of why he fell in love with you, something he had forgotten before the accident.

You would be coming home anytime soon, so Keanu decided to simply wait and discuss with you about the upcoming project. As he sat there on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through the hundreds of emails on his phone, another text came in from Molly, and he heaved out a sigh. Opening the notification, he then read the words on the screen, realizing that it was the same question she has been asking him for weeks.

Have you told her yet?

No, Keanu typed out and quickly hit send.

When will you? It's been weeks, Keanu. She deserves to know the truth.

Ignoring Molly's response, he deleted the messages and set his cell down on the coffee table. Keanu was lucky that she had not mentioned anything about it yet to you despite how often you and Molly were talking now. He knew it would only be a matter of time before she told you, however, either on purpose or a slip of the tongue. Keanu should be grateful that Molly was giving him the chance to confess to you himself instead of hearing it from someone else.

As if it fared any better the last time.

Keanu was mulling over his predicament when he heard the car pulling into the driveway. Quickly, he got up and headed to the front door, ready to greet you and ask you how your day went. But when he stepped outside and saw the crestfallen look on your face, the smile he had on faltered, withering away as he hurriedly met you halfway.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Keanu probed, bringing his hands up to hold the sides of your face. You didn't even glance up as you pushed him away, silently walking past him. You almost made it to the door when you paused, your body tense as it slowly spun around to face him.

"Ke," you said his name in a whisper, your teary gaze meeting his own. You opened your mouth again to speak, but no other words would come out. Keanu waited as you attempted to collect yourself, but your chest continued to rise and fall with rapid breaths. "I-I can't… There are just too many thoughts in my head. I-I feel so scattered."

Exhaling deeply, Keanu recognized it almost immediately. You were clearly overwhelmed, and he knew a way to calm you down. Closing in the distance between you and him, he placed a palm on your cheek, urging you to look at his eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"I-I don't know," you stuttered lowly, much to Keanu's shock. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"Then let me help," he spoke softly. His hand moved down to grasp yours, tugging it slightly as he began heading towards the garage, encouraging you to follow.

Punching in the code, the door opened slowly, revealing his array of motorcycles inside. Keanu led you to his most treasured bike, his sleek and elegant black Norton Commando which had become your favorite one to ride with him. He caught the hesitation etched in your features, so he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I need you to trust me right now, can you do that?"

You shrugged, eyes remaining downcast. "What are we doing?"

"We're going for a ride," Keanu answered before swiftly retrieving two helmets and the keys by the back wall. "Here, put this on while I wheel the bike out."

Moments later, Keanu was on the motorcycle with you sitting behind him. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his waist, afraid of losing balance. The bike idled underneath as he glanced over his shoulder, seeing you looking back at him.

"Don't worry, just relax and hold on," he said over the rumbling sound of the engine running.

Pushing the kickstand up, Keanu twisted the handlebars and smoothly pulled out of the driveway and onto the quiet street. Usually, he would have gone at a faster speed but decided to drive a mile or two under the posted limit. He wanted you to get used to the feeling of riding a bike again, which he hoped was currently working.

He felt you leaning in close, your chest resting on his back as he carefully navigated up and down the winding roads. The cool nighttime breeze blew gently into Keanu's face, but all he could focus on besides the path ahead was the heat radiating from you. A familiar warmth spread throughout his body as you clung on to him.

Yet another thing he has missed.

Reaching a red light, Keanu placed a foot down to steady the bike, waiting for the signal to change. He then looked back at you, noticing how your eyes had softened and the small smile on your lips. "Are you okay?"

You gave him a nod. "Yeah. I actually quite like this."

Keanu removed a hand from the handlebar and placed it above the one splayed on his abdomen. He intertwined his fingers with yours, allowing the simple touch to bring you comfort and reassurance. Eventually, the light turned green, and he started to drive again, the destination in mind just another mile up ahead.

Slowing down as he reached a bend, he brought the bike to a stop along the side of the road and shut off the ignition. Keanu slid his helmet off, brushing his messy locks back as you did the same.

"Is this…" you trailed off, seeing the bright lights of Los Angeles in the distance, the scenic view in front of you nearly taking your breath away. "This is the overlook from that picture back at the house."

Keanu smiled as he took your hand and began strolling through the grassy hill, bringing you closer to the edge. The sky was like a dark, infinite canvas with millions of twinkling stars painted upon it. They shone brilliantly in your eyes that were filled with wonder and awe. He led you to a wooden bench, gesturing for you to sit before taking the space next to you.

There was silence, and as much as Keanu wanted to break it, he let you bask in it for now. The overlook was a special place for both of you, not only because it was where he kissed you for the first time. It was the place you went to when life got too stressful, and you needed peace. It was a place for you to get away for a little while just to think.

"When I left the office, something happened," you revealed, your attention still on the skyline. "A guy approached me, one of those paparazzi, and he said we broke up before the crash."

Keanu's breath stalled as your glossy gaze slowly shifted to him.

"I know I shouldn't be paying them any attention or believe a word that they say," you sighed. "But it stuck to me and left me wondering if there's any truth to it."

This was it. It was Keanu's time to finally come clean. This was his opportunity to tell you what truly happened that night and the months leading up to it. As he sat there staring into your pleading eyes, he could already sense the hurt in them, and Keanu knew he would only be adding more.

"We didn't break up," he said tautly, his voice thick. "But for a while, we were in a bad place in our relationship."

"A bad place?" You repeated shakily. "What happened?"

Keanu licked his dry lips, his eyes flickering down in shame. "We were fighting a lot. I was doing a movie out of town, and the distance made it worse. I'd promise that I'd be home to spend time with you but never followed through. When I did come back, I let out all of my stress on you and pushed you away whenever you tried to get close. You were growing tired of it—of me. Meanwhile, I just ignored it."

Truth.

"The night of your accident, we got into a huge argument. I had said so many hurtful things to you that I still can't believe those words came out of my mouth," he continued, running a hand over his face.

Half-truth.

Keanu still couldn't force himself to admit it, the real truth. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't say it. It was already difficult for him to tell you pieces of the story. The memories of you and him screaming at each other and hurling insults broke his heart all over again.

If there was one thing Keanu had learned that night, it was that he couldn't lose you. He has gone through tragedy after tragedy for years, and he didn't want you to be another one of his devastating losses. He believed that he'd make up for his mistakes later on and prove to you how much he regretted making them.

Prove to you that he still loved you despite what he had told you before you stormed out of the house.

"Y/N?" He murmured, his hand coming to rest on your thigh, gently shaking you out of your daze. "Please, say something."

You blinked at him as you placed your hand on top of his. "We all make mistakes, Keanu."

"I know, and I didn't want to tell you because I was scared."

You knitted your brows. "Scared of what?"

"That you'd leave me. I was scared that if I told you that we were at the end of our ropes, you wouldn't stay. But I need you, Y/N. I love you, and I can't see myself spending a day without you."

"I don't like lies, Keanu." Shaking your head, you cupped the side of Keanu's face, the pad of your thumb brushing against the prickly scruff along his jaw. "You should have told me this earlier."

A single tear streaked down his cheek, and you wiped it away. "I know."

“But is that all?”

Swallowing thickly, Keanu nodded once.

Lie.

“Okay, I believe you.”

He exhaled a long breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep that from you.”

"You don't have to be perfect, Ke, because no one on this earth is. I might not remember how I felt back then, but all that matters is what I'm feeling now."

"And that is?"

You smiled softly at him before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. "I feel like I'm falling in love with you."

With his free hand, Keanu tilted your chin up so that your eyes could meet. Though there was less weight on his shoulders now, he had yet to share with you one last important detail of the story. He's now caught in a battle between telling you to clear his conscience or let the secret be forgotten but risk dealing with the consequences if you end up finding out on your own.

But when you leaned up to his face, your soft lips sweetly molding to his, Keanu saved the fight with himself for another time. Because god forbid you do uncover the truth and leave, he wanted to at least savor every moment he has left with you.

Part 9

Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @fanficsrusz @toomanystoriessolittletime @awessomness @meetmeinthematinee @ringa-starr @ficsnroses @iworshipkeanureeves @keandrews @greenmanalishi @feminine-machinegun @thehumanistsdiary @lussdew @rdjloverxxx @flaminasteroid @danceoftwowolves @allie1804-fan

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x you #my fics #reader insert #rpf

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fermented-writers-block · 4 years

Text

Just recently, I stumbled across @owls-house‘s post on MSN’s article about some of the first look details of The Owl House while looking through some of the older posts about upcoming news on the show before it came out, and this particular section caught my eye in light of everything we currently know about the Boiling Isles and the cast of the show:

The Owl House:

The Owl House is a living structure that Eda has charmed so that she could live there and be safe from outside forces. Quaint and cottage-like on the outside, with a storefront facade, the inside of the Owl House is full of secret rooms, with a labyrinth for a basement. Hooty, the door knocker, serves as the home’s defense system.

Given how the Owl House is supposed to be Eda’s safe haven and how she hasn’t really shown that much of an interest in puzzle solving and mysteries, the two bolded details immediately stood out to me.

I mean, from what we’ve seen of her, Eda has never really struck me as someone who’d construct or even want to deal with a labyrinth in the first place - particularly one that’s completely unnecessary if its supposed to be a basement to simply just store things in - and I very much doubt Eda would install a whole bunch of secret rooms into her house that presumably go unused when she likes to collect things so often, let alone go through all the trouble of making entire rooms dedicated to being secret when we’ve seen her be content with the amount of rooms she already uses.

And that’s without asking where and what the heck these secret rooms are supposed to be about specifically, as while they are secret and thus understandably not generally supposed to be easily found, they would have to be VERY small rooms to fit inside with the relative dimensions of all the rooms we’ve seen so far compared to the size of the exterior, and that’s without asking about what purpose they would even serve.

As for the apparent labyrinth, such a word tends to evoke the image of some incredibly huge and complex maze-like structure with single overall path and no dead ends - although it’s often been used interchangeably used with ‘maze,’ which is basically a labyrinth with dead ends, so who knows what it actually looks like here - and yet there is no sign of any kind of tunnel when an animated Hooty stood up in Hooty’s Moving Hassle let alone hardly any implied space for the kind of grand, sprawling structure the word ‘labyrinth’ evokes.

Now, I’ve brought this up in my last theory about the Owl House as a structure, but as a brief summary, I deduced that it is not a place that Eda had constructed completely all on her own, but rather an amalgamation of a bunch of parts of different buildings that had gotten attached to one center section: aka the middle part of the house with white brickwork - or the Owl Temple as I’ve dubbed it before.

And after looking through the flooring and walls of the rooms we’ve seen so far of the Owl House, I’ve concluded that the labyrinth at the very least is located or accessible from either underneath the carpet in the living room:

Or somewhere inside the parapet/battlement thing that serves as the floor of Eda’s balcony:

Obviously, considering the likely size of both of these rooms in relation to the dimensions of the house, they must be hidden away by magic, whether it be through magical pocket dimensions or the like, but this just raises the questions of why these rooms exist in the first place.

For me, I can see only two possible explanations for both questions, both of which I’ve outlined extensively down below:

TLDR: Either the original people who used the Owl Temple a long time ago had build those rooms into it, or they are a potentially significant part of Hooty’s biology as the house itself

Option 1: They were built by the original inhabitants of the Owl Temple

Like I’ve discussed before, I suspect that - from the owl mural and the way the curtains are arranged - the living room used to be used as an altar or ritual room for some kind of owl spirit/deity, so following off that kind of conclusion, it’s possible that the rest of the temple was designed in a similar fashion related to the Owl Deity.

Perhaps these secret rooms are only unlockable through puzzles and riddles to play into how owls are usually portrayed as wise old creatures, hiding away ‘treasures’ not of gold and wealth, but rather of information and books. Maybe these secret rooms could have been like places of study where one could peruse ancient tomes or collect knowledge without being disturbed, or they could simply be full on ordinary rooms that people lived and slept in but with doors that can only be unlocked in a particular way ala the Ravenclaw dorms in Harry Potter.

As for the labyrinth, it could have been meant as a way to test one’s mind and observation skills/as part of one’s initiation, requiring an attentive eye to detail or such to figure out the one single route in and out of it. Maybe it holds some kind of great secret of knowledge or an important ancient artifact that only those who can figure out the path can find/use.

Of course, there IS the small chance it functioned more like a quirky cult with the labyrinth posing as part of kind of bizarre ritual or being used for sacrificial duty, but I very much doubt that this would even get past the censors let alone even got implemented with how un-cult-like the glimpses of the base design of the Owl Temple has been so far.

That said, given how I’ve speculated that something happened that led to the Owl Temple being abandoned, falling into disrepair and obscurity long before Eda first discovered it, she likely has next to absolutely no idea about the existence of at least most of these rooms, so it would be interesting to see exactly how the cast will eventually and inevitably find and explore these hidden rooms and labyrinth, especially with the chance at discovering long-forgotten knowledge or even uncovering dark secrets and old truths that have been suppressed and forgetten by the present day.

However, though I think this explanation and ramifications thereof would be interesting to explore in its own right, I can’t help but think that the second, more likely explanation would easily expand upon and add quite the intrigue to a particular character I’ve had my eye on for a good while:

OPTION 2: They are a part of Hooty and are only increasing in size and number as he grows

We all know that Hooty IS the house itself as demonstrated by his manipulation of various parts of the structure and from statements by Eda, but whereas the prior explanation was based on the idea that the old inhabitants had created the secret rooms and labyrinth themselves before Hooty came into the equation, here I’d like to propose that the rooms are a side result of Hooty slowly regenerating back into a full sized Owl Temple.

With the kind of importance and likely amount of people that would be present or living in such a place, it seems rather likely that what we see of the Owl Temple in the Owl House is but a small-ish remnant of the entire thing, especially with the doorframe in Eda’s room that most likely connected to another section or large area that she either couldn’t salvage in an intact-enough state or didn’t care about to bring with her.

However, though Eda’s additions seems to have been integrated relatively neatly with what she found of the Owl Temple for Hooty to probably be able to affect them, they are likely nowhere near enough to make up for the rest of the missing Temple.

As such, Hooty could potentially and unknowingly be growing new rooms to make up for the rest of the Temple - kind of like a yolk becoming a baby chick inside of its shell, forming organs and bones and etc until it’s big and strong enough to emerge.

Though here, instead of breaking apart the foundations and outside of the Owl House entirely, perhaps this transformation would be more like the structure suddenly expanding outwards and quickly stretching everything about itself similar a video about plant growth on fast forward, up until the outer dimensions match the ever increasing inner dimensions.

With this kind of analogy, it’d make sense why Eda wouldn’t know about these rooms and why Hooty wouldn’t bring them up, as to the former, they literally weren’t there when she salvaged what she could of the Temple, and for the latter, they’re just such a natural part of his body that he simply doesn’t notice.

Now, why I think that this would add an interesting layer of mystique to Hooty’s character is because of the important question of - if and when he finds out about these rooms - whether Hooty would be able to consciously control their structure and arrangement however he wants.

After all, if the answer is YES, then we might get to begin to see the full capacity of both Hooty’s power and his patience if he gets ticked off and decides to turn the inside of the house into this:

It would not only be an amazing opportunity for some glorious mind screwy animation with the transformation of a location we’ve all become accustomed to into something straight out of M C Escher’s nightmares, but would also give an opportunity to build Hooty’s character MUCH further beyond the complete butt monkey he’s been portrayed as.

Outside of Eda calling him a “state of the art defense system” in the first episode, he has barely gotten any respect and has never been treated seriously compared to even King. And even when he seems to have temporarily died in The Intruder given the crossed-out eyes and the lights going out in the house when they’re apparently directly controlled by him, Luz and King didn’t really stay that concerned for long. Heck, King was more annoyed at hearing Hooty’s voice again rather than being happy that he was still alive.

After enduring all of that, it’s a wonder that Hooty hasn’t snapped any sooner, so how he’d react when he finally can get people to listen to him without them being able to just simply ignore him or leave would open up the gates to his inner psyche and how he really feels about everyone and the way they treat him.

Exactly how he’d manipulate the interior dimensions would be extremely telling of what kind of character he truly is at heart, what with the sheer kind of power trip from being in complete control over such a space vs how he would be calmed down from it, AND it’d mark a major and permanent shift in how everyone treats the being they live in on a daily basis due to how much mutual trust and respect both Hooty and his inhabitants would likely have to rebuild in each other to be able to go about their day and keep their relationships intact.

That, and it’d be a REALLY interesting glimpse into the full eldritch nature of a house with many more rooms on the inside than the outside suggests, one that actually has a mind and consciousness to drive it and thus one that you don’t really want to piss off if you can. Just think of all the fun horror/mind screw that could be done with such an episode about this.

Of course, this does bring into question exactly what is the deal with the labyrinth, but running off the seemingly one-time joke from the first episode where - instead of simply opening the door like he’s done in every other episode - Hooty lets everyone in by opening his mouth and even burping, the entire living room could easily be equated as Hooty’s stomach.

I’ve discussed this with @sepublic a bit, but because of how he can stretch vertically instead of just his neck as shown above, as well as the likely placement of the labyrinth underneath the living room, I suspect that the labyrinth might be doubling as Hooty’s intestines given the way real intestines fold and twist around while also having one single route through them like a labyrinth does.

That, and that Hooty may have gained Eda’s trust as a good enough defense system for her to rely on by being able to do this to whoever tries to attack the house from time to time:

I would not be surprised if Luz or Eda or whoever checks out the labyrinth later in the series might find the remains of some of Eda’s old enemies down there.

That said, considering how much bigger the original Owl Temple might possibly be than the Owl House, Hooty would likely require quite a LOT of material/energy to build back those rooms and other parts of the Temple. And given how he doesn’t exactly seem to passively be feeding off ambient magic or something alongside the comparison to intestines, well...

It just makes one wonder just what state those remains are in, let alone how recognizable they even still are in the first place.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house theory #owl house theory #hooty #speculation #long post #amnesiac owl deity hooty theory

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redcameleon · 4 years

Text

Superstar Series

Chapter 12: Absence

Summary: Sasuke coincidentally meets Sakura again after 6 months. Let’s just say their interaction was still a bit tense.

Rating: K.

A/N: Still a little angsty on this one. But I promise things will get better in the next chapter.

His following days are basically running on autopilot. Vocal lessons in the morning, followed by dance practices for the rest of the day, adding art concept meetings here and there. His whole body will ache, mind drained, before ending the day with a nice hot shower and 5 hours of sleep max. He supposes it helps him shove thoughts of Sakura to the very back of his mind, when your mind is constantly worrying about other things.

Days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months, and before he knows it, it’s been six months since he last saw her.

Nearing their final stages for their tour planning, everyone is both excited and on edge. Worries start to pile up between the members. What if I mess up on this routine? What if I can’t sing live well? What if the costumes rip in the middle of a performance?

Muscles never being this tense before, his body is slowly begging for him to take a break.

The members are all sprawled out on the floor of their dance studio. The air is filled with huffs and puffs and the smell of sweat as the members end their dance practice for the day.

“Man, I’m exhausted!” Kiba exclaims as he takes a bottle of water, downing it all in one go. Too tired to even talk, the four of them just stay there lying next to each other, trying to catch their breaths.

Sasuke’s gaze lingers on the grey ceiling, noticing the small cracks on the edge and the ridges. As his breathing calms down, his mind starts wandering to a time where he didn’t feel this mentally drained. As much as he loves his job, he admits how taxing it can be. Flashes of pink start to fill his consciousness as he blinks them away.

“I miss Sakura-chan.” Naruto suddenly breathes, catching him by surprise. When was the last time he heard her name? Sasuke shifts to look at his teammate.

“I mean she’s always here bringing us food and drinks. But suddenly she just quit.” Memories of a certain pinkette walking into their dance studio with a plastic bag full of snacks and treats, and another one with beverages. Instinctively, the corners of his mouth tugs into a small smile.

He feels a pang on his chest at the sudden flashbacks. Just when he thinks he’s been doing a good job pushing away any thoughts of her, he’ll always be reminded of the power of her presence. Not just to him, but to the group.

Feeling how thick the air has gotten, Suigetsu gets up and beams his voice.

“Hey hey hey come on I’m starving! Let’s grab dinner! I’ve been craving for some fried chicken right now.”

“I’m in.” One by one they gather their belongings before exiting the studio.

“Itadakimasu!” Having food delivered after a long day of practice is always the best feeling. At least, to these four men. Downing their meal in a flash, replenishing their lost energy, the members continue to gobble at their meal in silence, focusing too much at the food in front of them.

Just when everyone is starting to slow down, they finally start cracking a conversation. Be it something about the food, or about their newest choreography, or something as random as who invented fried chicken, the members never run out of things to talk about. This is one of the things Sasuke’s grateful about. He never fails to find comfort in his teammates. Sharing the same house with them definitely has its effects. He can slowly feel the fatigue being drained away.

When their last conversation starts to die down, Naruto finds it his opportunity to address an issue that’s been in the back of his mind.

“So, Sasuke. I’ve been noticing that you look really down recently.”

“I’m just tired, that’s all.” Sasuke doesn’t spare a glance, choosing to finish the last chicken leg on the plate.

“Oh cut the bullshit. I know that’s not all.” The members all become silent. Leave it to them to completely read Sasuke like an open book. The members have always been skilled at reading his emotions even without him saying anything.

“Yeah, Sasuke. We’ve all been noticing it. What’s up?” Now all the members’ attention is on him. He supposes he can’t hide it any longer. They are his teammates after all, and they deserve to know.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Sasuke sets down his chopsticks, mentally preparing himself for the long overdue story. The members all leaned in, attentively listening to him without even cutting him off. The air is thick as Sasuke, who only occasionally, lets out his deepest feelings and troubles that he’s never told anyone else. Because that’s how much he trusts them. And when Sasuke’s story is finished, he lets out a breath he doesn’t know he was holding.

“To be fair, we kinda already know you and Sakura had a thing.” Suigetsu finally speaks on their behalf. “But we didn’t want to assume anything without hearing it from you first.”

In awe, Sasuke’s face turns considerably redder, unaware that the members have known all this time. Feeling embarrassed for being so emotionally vulnerable in front of them, he scoffs and continues munching on his chicken thigh.

Naruto just chuckles on the side, swinging his arm around Sasuke’s shoulder.

“But all that aside, we’re really sorry for what happened between you two. I think you two really look good together.” Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Naruto can relate with him too well. He’s secretly developing a crush towards a certain dark blue-haired woman who happens to be Sakura’s coworker. But that’s for another story.

“I know our jobs are really hard. But you can’t sacrifice your own happiness.” Kiba adds in. Being in the same career path as him, he knows all too well the things that they had to sacrifice to get where they are.

As if on cue, they all let out a heavy sigh. Their troubles might still be present, but Sasuke feels a heavy burden is somehow lifted from his shoulders. He is finally able to breathe a little, and he is forever grateful for them.

Deciding that the members need a little break, Shikamaru, OG Shikamaru, decides to give them all two days off. Judging from all the hard work they’ve put in, he was initially going to settle for one, but with a lot of convincing, finally decided for two.

Wearing a baseball cap and a black face mask, the basic necessities for an idol, he takes a stroll around a nearby river. He stuffs his hands in his pockets as he lets the cool breeze blow past him. He notices a nearby park where children are playing in the swings and the slide, with their parents right behind them or chatting off to the side. He glances at the couples sitting by the edge of the river, having mini picnics with their loved ones. It is relatively quieter than usual, after all it is a weekday.

Sasuke walks past a bench that sits under a lush tree, overlooking to the body of water. Just as he is about to tear his gaze away, he notices something pink. His eyes immediately dart towards it. The sunlight bears down on him as he tries to make out the silhouette of a person sitting on that bench. But he can recognize that silhouette from anywhere.

Sakura.

His feet start moving on their own accord, making their way towards the bench. She doesn’t seem to have noticed him approaching when he finally approaches from the side.

“Is this seat taken?”

“No, go ahea-“ Sakura turns her face to greet the stranger when she finally realizes it’s Sasuke. Her whole body freezes, her eyes widen at the sight in front of him. It’s been six months, six months too long, since the last time she had seen his face. She can barely see his face under all that “disguise” but she’ll always recognize those pairs of onyx. She always seems to find herself lost in them, just like now. She clears her throat and nudges herself to the edge, leaving enough space for him to sit next to her.

Sasuke moves to take a seat at a respectful distance. They both don’t dare to look at each other, instead settling on looking at the horizon in front of them. Sakura’s gaze seems transfixed to the sun’s reflection on the water.

“It’s been a while.” She finally speaks.

“Aa.”

“How are the members?” Sasuke’s pride is a little hurt when the first thing Sakura asks is about the members.

“Hn. They’re fine. But tired.”

“Ah I see.” She remembers they must be practicing like hell for their upcoming tour. With the album preparation on the way too, they’re bound to be exhausted to the bone. “Has it been really busy lately?”

“Hm. Practice all day every day. Shikamaru’s been kind enough to give us two days off.” Sakura lets out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for Shikamaru. He really is looking out for them all the time, something she’ll always be grateful for.

“Make sure you guys take your vitamins regularly, and never skip a meal.” Leave it to Sakura to always worry about him and the others. Sasuke’s heart flutters a bit seeing how concerned she is.

“Hn. Aa. How are you?” He’s been very curious as to what she’s been doing. She was practically jobless after she quit the company. He wonders if she’s found a new place to work. He wonders if she’s been thinking about him, or if she’s erased him completely. He wonders if he still has a place in her heart somewhere, however tiny it may be.

“I’ve been okay. I’ve been taking this time to spend more time with my family and friends. I’ve also been going back to do my old hobbies. You know just the things I didn’t get to do when I was so busy.” Sasuke can’t tell how happy he is hearing that. She seems to be in a good place and that’s the only thing he wants for her; for her to be happy. He glances over to her and see how much at peace she is. But a part of him notices the tired look on her, the dispirited energy coming off her. It definitely seems different from the Sakura he knows who works tirelessly at the office.

Debating whether to probe on it or not, Sasuke decides it’s better for him to save it for another time. Right now, he’s just glad they bumped into each other. Leaning back on the bench, Sasuke lets himself relax, feeling the warm breeze on his skin, hearing the leaves rustle above him, and how the wind creates ripples on the water.

“You know, Naruto misses you.” Sakura chuckles.

“Really? I think he just misses the snacks I always bring him.”

“Hn. Not wrong.” Hearing her laughter is the best part of it all. “Kiba still sucks at dancing.”

“Aww Kiba-kun.” Sakura remembers seeing Kiba alone in the dance studio all the time. Even when the other members have left to the dorm, Kiba stays behind, running over the dance routine over and over again. Sakura sometimes worries he’s pushing himself too much.

“Well tell him I admire his hardwork.” Oh how much she misses all of them. She’s almost tempted to waltz right into the office right at that moment, and hug each one of them.

“Also, this is a secret, but you might be right about Naruto having a crush on Hinata.” Sasuke leans in to whisper, earning an excited gasp from Sakura.

“I knew it!” She fists her palms in the air, feeling victorious. It was one of their bets for the longest time, when she begins to notice something different between the two’s interactions. Something akin to what she had with Sasuke. Sasuke finds her amusing, not noticing how he begins to stare at her. After a moment of silence, Sasuke finally speaks his mind.

“We missed you. I missed you.” Sakura gives him a warm smile and his chest swells with emotions.

“Me too.”

“Come back, Sakura.” He half pleads. He knows how much the company values her. And losing her was never a part of their plan. Her smile slowly dissipates as she turns to the ground, seemingly lost in thought.

“I- I don’t think it’s my place to go back.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t feel like going back, you know?” Sakura fiddles with the hem of her shirt.

“No. I don’t.” The words just come out a little more harshly than Sasuke intends. Nevertheless, he doesn’t retract them.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, okay?” Sakura says, voice raised a little louder than before and Sasuke is almost caught off guard by it.

She still thinks about me.

“And I’m afraid I still can’t be professional around you. I just…I- I need more time.” Sasuke raises his eyebrow at this. There are possible meanings behind her words. More time to process her feelings? More time to be ready to be around him again? More time to forget him? And Sasuke might think it’s more towards something unpleasant.

Sakura’s face seems constricted with worry, taking it as his cue to leave her alone for now. Sasuke shifts to stand.

“If you ever change your mind, we’d be happy to see you around again.” He walks away from her for a few steps. “It was nice catching up, Sakura.”

“Likewise.”

to be continued.

<--Chapter 11 Chapter 13-->

#ssff #ssfanfiction #sasusaku fanfiction #sasusaku #sasuke #sakura #otp #redcameleon!writes #fanfic #superstar!series

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searchingforbucky · 5 years

Text

FIC RECS (Part 5) :)

Okay we are going to try this again lol. I hope I got everyone I was intending to!This one is LONG so buckle up babes.

The request was for Cop!Bucky fics, by anonymous. Now I am SO excited to share this list because Cop Bucky is my top 2 favorite AU’s and actually the first AU I ever read for Bucky. So its incredibly close to my heart, and so are these fics. I hope everyone enjoys! :) (I start with Series, then go to One-Shots) 💖💕💗💓

In the Arms of Justice by @avengerofyourheart

Okay, this was actually the first full Cop!Bucky fic I ever read and let me tell you, it was an amazing bridge into what is now an unhealthy obsession lol. This fic is so well done. I love the way Anika plays with details in her stories. Every word has you hanging on, no stone is left unturned, no detail forgotten. This one, especially if you go back and read it a second time, you see all of the tiny foreshadowing she does. Its such a good mysterious fic. Its absolutely amazing the Protective/Soft Bucky on top of that is the best ever. Please read it twice to be able to fully realize the beauty.

Heart & Soul by @all1e23

This one is an ABO fic, and oh man is it good. This fic is just so heartbreakingly beautiful. Allie is dedicated, in all of their stories, to being as truthful to true human experiences and this is just another example. The emotion is so real and painful and I can somehow picture to all of these experiences even though I’ve never had them myself, solely because of the way they write. This is a story about trauma, trust, loyalty, and personal strength. Theres murder mystery and fluff all in a lovely package. The relationships between her and every one of the characters is so well drawn out, its just such a heartwarming fic.

The Witness by @wkemeup

Words tend to evade me when I try to explain my love for this fic, but I need I need to make sure its recognized. Bucky is soft and just wants the reader to be safe, the reader is self sufficient and headstrong. My favorite pairing. This story is honestly something that changed the way I read Bucky fics. It was the first story of hers I have ever read, and never have I gotten more lost in a story than this. Before this, I would mainly focus on dialogue of a story, and other important bits. This was so beautifully done, and packed with detail and emotion in the smallest sentences I made sure I didn’t miss a single thing. Also, the way she writes the aftermath in her Drabble/epilogue are so truthful to life and recovery. Ugh, just an amazing read.

Deception by @revengingbarnes

This story is unlike the others I’ve read before. I LOVE undercover fics, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of the time they are set in this perfect world with no repercussions. This fic is so damn raw and honest and real. It shows the pain and aftermath that is unavoidable from situations like these, the emotion from Bucky and the Reader seeps through every word making it impossible not to get invested into them and their love. Not everything in life is perfect, there isn’t always that one happy ending, and this fic shows that. There is bumps and bruises and you won’t know whats coming until it happens but thats what makes it beautiful.

Seven Thirty by @nacho-bucky

So this one is absolutely the cutest thing ever. Its technically a cop!bucky but its not like the main factor in the story, but Im including it anyways because its too amazing to not! This has UNCLE BUCKY, oh my god thats my favorite soft Bucky trope and its done again here so well. Bucky is needs help with a kid, she works with kids, what could go wrong??? Nothing! Because this is a story of two awkwardly adorable individuals being roped into the cutest relationship ever by a sneaky little girl. This story is Witten so well, every detail paints the best picture of utter domesticity and love and I cannot get over it. Especially the little drabbles accompanying it? Be still my heart.

Ride With Me by @jurassicbarnes

Now this one is a treat, we’ve got Cop!Bucky and Biker!Reader (whaaaat?? Biker reader??) Yes! So unique right? And its so well done too. This is about the cutest thing because you have no gender stereotypes whoop whoop! You have soft shy Bucky (who tries so hard to hide it, oh my love), and a badass reader! Its so unique and absolutely adorable. I feel like this needs to be made into a romance movie, I would watch the hell out of it. Its like perfect YA romance I'm telling you! Opposites attract and lead to a work of art in disguise as a Bucky Fanfic. Also, I want Natasha to be my Best Friend :(

Sweet as Cinnamon by @propertyofpoeandbucky

It wouldn’t be a proper Cop!Bucky list without some Chubby Bucky! In there! Now, wanna know who’s sweet as cinnamon? Bucky Barnes in this fic (more like a compilation of one-shots). We have a single dad, divorced, insecure, chubby Bucky, and we all know what that leads to? Me in an absolute puddle of love and fluff. The relationship he has with the reader and his daughter are the most pure things I’ve ever been lucky enough to read. I love sneaky kids man, and oh does he have one! All of Leilanis fics are so good, but something about this Universe really just sticks in my heart. Amazingly well written, 10/10 would read every single one again.

Good Cop, Bad Cop by @cametobuyplums

Okay, another thing that makes this list complete? A smutty fic (again more of a compilation of one shots). This fic is damn good. Its kinda like SAC in the way of Bucky is a single, insecure, divorced, chubby father. But plot twist! Reader is a young sexy police chief that just wants her man, Bucky. Let the fun ensue! No seriously though, besides the smut, this series is incredibly well done. You wouldn’t expect many heartfelt moments in a fic like tis, but thats the beauty of it. I love reading stories where Bucky just gets loved up and fights his insecurities. If you like reading smut, I guarantee you will love this fic!

Sunshine by @thottybarnes

Let me squeal about this one real quick. I just recently read it and I LOVED it. Honestly any story that has beefy Bucky is always gonna be a good one for me, but beefy Bucky AND soft, baby fever having Bucky? Oh my heart cant take it. This fic is absolutely adorable. I love how fun and light hearted it is, and the details they put in the background are to die for. Such a good fic if you want fluff, and Cop!Bucky all in one fantastic package. The way she rights the reader also just makes me feel like a good person and who doesn’t love that? All in all, the story is amazing, and now I want a baby with beefy Bucky :(

Anyone Except You by @maid-of-mourne-shore

Okay so this one is definitely different than the ones I’ve listed so far. This one is a little intense. Definitely needs a trigger warning especially with the current US gun situation. Anyways, if you can handle it, please read it. Its a beautifully raw story that portrays that trauma for an outsider so well. I was on the edge of my seat, heart hurting. Bucky Is so soft, the mutual pining is there, the protective Bucky is there, the flangst is there. Its really, really good.

Uniformed by @bucky-plums-barnes

Oh my dear Gen, another wonderful fic from her. This story is absolutely so unique in the way its set up. The sections being introduced like a hospital case had me hooked from word one. I love a hard to get fic, especially when it involves a cocky Bucky and a take no nonsense reader! This fic has its fun times, but it also gets some angsty moments of just raw emotion and understanding between two people in difficult career paths, its truly beautiful. Also, UNCLE BUCKY makes an appearance :)

And finally, last but not least

Reassurance by @ofheroesandvillains

Obviously I’m a sucker for insecure chubby Bucky. He gets a little green here not gonna lie, makes him about 50x cuter. We get it Bucky, she’s your wife (so you say) and not his. This fic issuer cute, I love me a reassuring reader, because I know I would say the same in that situation. You feel the love between the characters, its not an overwhelming display of love, but its truthful to life and real feelings, and I love it so.

If you read to the end of this long list, bless your heart and I love you so much. I’m not a writer, so my grammar is probably bad, and I basically just write in a stream of consciousness lol, so sorry for that! I hope you love the fics on here as much as I do! Till next time my loves.

#cop!bucky #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #searchingforbucky #bucky series #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fanfic #ficrecs

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dvp95 · 5 years

Text

giving you my forever

pairing: dan howell/phil lester rating: teen & up tags: fluff, established relationship, idiots in love, proposal word count: 1.2k summary: Phil gives him a little wave and goes to water their semi-neglected plants. He's wearing glasses and ugly pyjamas, and he looks like the rest of Dan's life.

"Hey," says Dan. "You wanna get married?"

read on ao3 or here!

It's something Dan has been thinking about a lot recently. They've always treated it like the eventuality it is, but their five-year plan, scrawled on a Sword Art Online sticky note after a long plane ride home and kept in a kitchen drawer, is wrapping up and making space for a new one. He's thinking about it even more now, as they round off a decade together and suddenly every day is another reminder of how far they've come.

Ten years. It stretches across a good chunk of Dan's life, over a third of it, really, and it kind of blurs together. He doesn't remember every single moment with crystal clarity, and there were long bouts where nothing felt good at all, not even Phil's hand in his, but he can look back on all of it with the sort of peace that comes from hindsight and knowing what you want.

What Dan wants is another ten years. And then another, and another. He's greedy like that. He wants to keep hitting this milestone over and over again, wants a lifetime of plans with Phil jotted down on sticky notes and celebrated with lazy kisses in the late autumn air.

They've talked about it, but not seriously. It's been passive jokes and soft whispers into each other's hair when they're feeling particularly sappy for so long. There had been so much to do before it, people to confide in, but there's not much left now that they've made such big leaps into a more authentic existence.

Dan is comfortable on their sofa and half watching some interior design show Netflix has been shoving down his throat like it somehow knows about the moving boxes scattered around the flat. When Phil comes in with his little watering can and a soft smile in greeting, Dan feels his heart flip over like it has since he was eighteen and stupid over the first boy who made him feel good about himself. That feeling hasn't diminished, it's only gotten stronger and softer in equal amounts, settled into Dan like something he never knew he'd be allowed to feel. Phil gives him a little wave and goes to water their semi-neglected plants. He's wearing glasses and ugly pyjamas, and he looks like the rest of Dan's life.

"Hey," says Dan. "You wanna get married?"

Phil laughs, quiet and lovely and not at all surprised. "Sure, we can have a party."

"That's not exactly what I asked," Dan notes. He's all too familiar with the way Phil dodges questions he doesn't have an answer for. "But we don't have to, I was just wondering."

"I think it sounds nice," says Phil. He picks up a small cactus to survey it sadly. "Oh, this one might not be salvageable."

"Probably not. So d'you want to get married, or are you just trying not to hurt my feelings?"

With another soft huff of a laugh, Phil sets the cactus and watering can down on the coffee table. He flops onto the sofa mostly on top of Dan, knobby knees and bony elbows all knocking into Dan in a way that ought to be annoying but is, instead, the most endearing thing in the world.

"I think," Phil says, pressing his lips to Dan's fluttering pulse point, "that we've earned making a big deal of it if we'd like to."

"I would like to," says Dan. A smile is tugging at his lips, but he's not giving in yet. He wraps his arms around Phil as best as he can, since neither of them are in properly comfortable positions, and kisses Phil's temple. "I want to be married to you."

"Well, that's a silly thing to want," Phil laughs. "You already are."

"I know it feels like we are, but I just think -"

"No," Phil interrupts before Dan can get a good ramble in, which is rare enough on its own that Dan's words die in his throat. Phil gives him a bemused sort of smile. "You literally already are. Is this a joke, or have you actually forgotten?"

This would be exactly the type of thing that Phil would joke about, his lips twitching and his eyes wide with fake innocence as he tries to convince Dan of something blatantly untrue, but none of his usual tells are there. Instead, Phil just looks like he's torn between offense and a desire to laugh in Dan's face.

"We aren't married," Dan says, slowly.

"We are," says Phil, "and you'd know that if you ever did any of our paperwork."

Dan feels like, maybe, he ought to be more shocked.

"When did this happen?" Is all he's really got. It's not like he can be angry about something he so desperately wants. "Where was I?"

"Couple years back," Phil says, and he giggles into Dan's neck. "You signed the papers, you absolute idiot. Did you not know what we were doing? I asked if you wanted to take the next step."

Dan wracks his mind for that memory. He's signed a lot of shit with Phil at his side, and he can't remember any of it being a marriage certificate. He's about to dismiss this as another over-the-top Phil prank when he gets a sneaking suspicion.

"Babe," he says, pulling back from their weird snuggle so he can give Phil a properly dubious look. "Did you dream this?"

A giggle and a smack to Dan's chest. "No!"

"Where's the license, then?"

"With all our other papers, you want me to prove it?"

"No, Phil," says Dan, "I'm just going to take your word for it that we got married without me noticing."

"I'll show you," Phil grumbles, good-naturedly, and he clambers off of Dan with some more awkward flailing of his long limbs. He hurries down the stairs and Dan's laughter echoes a little bit in the open, nearly empty space.

The interior design show is still playing, but Dan has long lost interest in it. He stands up instead and picks up the watering can, because he knows damn well how unorganized their filing system is, and he might as well keep sustaining their houseplants while Phil gets lost in paperwork. Phil keeps saying he knows where everything goes, but Dan wouldn't be able to find his own birth certificate without help.

It only takes Phil a few minutes, somehow; Dan has really got to pay more attention when Phil is explaining his system. He comes back upstairs empty-handed and sheepish.

"You dreamt it," Dan says flatly.

"I might have dreamt it," Phil agrees.

"You're an idiot."

Phil shrugs. He's grinning and his cheeks are a little pink, his hands moving around in vague, uncertain motions like he doesn't know what to do with them. He's an idiot, but he's Dan's idiot. "Yeah, alright, maybe I am," he laughs. "We probably should get married so I stop committing tax fraud."

Dan cannot tell if that's a joke. He also doesn't really care. He laughs too, loud and grateful and just so unbelievably, deliriously happy that he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"Sure. That's a good reason."

"I mean, it is," says Phil. "I don't want to go to tax jail. And I liked being married to you, when I thought I was."

"Guess we need to start planning shit out, then," Dan says, smiling so wide his cheeks are starting to hurt. He's thinking about that sticky note, the five-year plan, and everything he wants to add to the next one. For now, though, he's going to water the plants so Phil isn't begging him to pack up dead succulents in the next couple of weeks and start to think of a better proposal story to tell his nan.

#words words words #phanfic #phan #dnp fic #phanfiction

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breakingsomething · 4 years

Text

silver

basic summary: anti meets an old friend.

trigger warnings: abuse, vauge mentions of self harm

ok, this might make no sense without context, so here. this is a long ass fic, so be warned, but it's basically the context for this fic. have fun! :P

dapper was used to anti's secrets.

he knew, of course, that anti didn't tell him everything. he didn't talk about the scar on his neck beyond simply saying "it was jack's fault." he often left during the day and didn't say where he was going. he never spoke of his connection with jinx and doctor, the two of the creator's boys that anti seemed to hate the most. and he never spoke of the creator himself if he could help it, unless it was a sudden, unpredictable burst of rage, an angry fit that dapper would occasionally have to rewind and prevent by distracting anti in any way he could. dapper had to rewind a lot of anti's mistakes, actually. that was his secret. most of the time he just had to hope anti would stay in a good mood and nothing would set him off.

dapper remembered a day when kitten had been with them, right after he'd arrived, when he'd found something in anti's office he shouldn't have. then there was the night anti had brought home alcohol and gotten so drunk he'd started saying thing that scared dapper, screaming himself into a full on breakdown and tearing up his arms. and then was the night that kitten had become marvin again, and anti had gone too far with his punishment. all were mistakes that dapper had rewinded. not that he forgot any of them. not that he was ever allowed to forget.

he still remembered kitten's silence after his discovery, the horrible things anti had said in his drunken haze, kitten's flat, glassy eyes, pale and limp in anti's eyes. funny, how all the things he remembered were the things he wished he could scrub from his memory the most.

so anti kept his secrets, and dapper kept his. anti would usually know when he had rewinded because of the glow of his eyes, but there were days when he wouldn't ask, days when the silver magic lingered between them, heavy and quiet. sometimes better not to know. so they kept their secrets. maybe it was better for both of them.

after the loss of kitten, things had gotten a lot more difficult for them both. first of all, dapper had a bullet wound in his side from jinx, that perfect gunman, and they'd both had to count their losses and run. the home they'd built for themselves, gone. they'd went back a few days later, when anti deemed it safe to do so, but the council had already reclaimed the house and most of their things were gone. their clothes, their weapons, all their various entertainment, supplies and food. all dapper's sketchbooks and puppet toys. anti's radios and laptops. gone, gone, gone.

all they'd been able to recover was one single toy - a suited puppet that dapper had christened "rara" - and a packet of batteries. dapper wondered what had happened to their things. he wondered if they were being well taken care of. gods, he really hoped so. he'd hate to see his well loved puppets being treated cruelly.

now they lived in a small flat on the top floor, the cheapest place they could rent. dapper didn't know where anti was getting the money and he didn't want to know, quite honestly, although he had a feeling it had something to do with the black bag anti took with him every time he went out that was always a lot lighter when he returned. anyway, they couldn't seem to make quite the same home for themselves here, especially with the tension between dapper and anti over everything that had happened. dapper wondered if anything would ever be the same again.

after a while, anti had started taking him out with him.

"it's not safe here alone," he'd said when he first told him. anti looked so tired; sickly pale, bags under his eyes, hands that never quite stopped shaking. "you'll be better off with me. don't want the hero to find us here, fucking bastard. how he found us before is beyond me… fuck, probably tracked us through you." he shot dapper a harsh glare, running fingers through his own tangled curly hair. "seeing as you don't know how to be bloody subtle in public. i should just get shit done myself."

dapper was used to anti taking his anger out on him. he didn't bother giving him a reply.

it turned out that dapper's suspicions had been correct and anti was, in fact, selling drugs and various other bootlegged stuff. weird drinks, unlabeled boxes, weapons. dapper had been shocked to see a whole handgun in an innocent looking pencilcase, deep beneath the tictac boxes and plastic bags. "you'd be surprised how easy it is for me to get this shit," anti said nonchalantly, grinning at dapper's expression. "other people do the hard work for me, getting illegal bull into the country, then i hack it and sell it myself. it's like a fun little dance, almost. goes the same way every time, always the same moves and steps. it gets boring after a while."

"how do you find this stuff?" dapper asked, too curious to keep his hands still.

anti quirked an eyebrow, smirking, and brought something from his pocket. his new shiny butterfly knife that he'd gotten gods know where. "anything is possible through the internet," he grinned wickedly, twirling the blade in his fingers like in the videos he and dapper watched late at night when bad dreams kept them both awake. "all you have to do is know the right people to threaten."

he successfully completed his trick and sat back on his seat, trying not to look too pleased with himself.

so dapper and anti became bootleggers. honestly, that was something he was fine with. without his art supplies or toys he had nothing to do in the flat, so he was glad anti was letting him help out. not that he did much. mostly he just hung around, not getting in the way and being quiet as usual. the deals were always very silent affairs, and dapper was usually able to escape unnoticed. "why'd you bring your little brother along?" asked one man in a low voice as he received his goods. anti had just smiled at him dangerously, dapper mimicking the face he made.

"he's my watcher," anti said simply. "so i wouldn't try to cross me."

no one ever did. dapper wondered if anti secretly wished one of them would just so they could have something fun to do. he knew he did.

it was a couple months of this before something unusual did happen.

the day had started off normal. anti was up early - he had barely slept, dapper knew, he'd heard him wake screaming from a nightmare in the wee hours that morning - and had eaten a breakfast of whatever cheap dry cereal anti had been able to afford. well, dapper had; anti had tried to hide the fact that he wasn't eating by busying himself cleaning out his bag and washing the dishes, of which there were very few. dapper normally wouldn't say anything, but this had been going on so long that he felt the need to speak up. "why aren't you eating?"

anti had looked round at dapper's signalling whistle, his expression flickering as he read his brother's hands. "i - not hungry," he mumbled, purposefully turning away again. "i'm never really hungry recently."

dapper knew that was a lie. and despite all the terrible things anti had done, it hurt to see his brother like this. "lies," he signed, whistling again to catch anti's attention and banging the table for emphasis. "we have enough food, anti. are you…" a realization struck him. "are you not eating so there's enough for me?"

anti's shoulders shot to his ears, but he covered his emotional slip by scowling and making a growling noise in the back of his throat. "no, i'm fucking not," he spat, his shaking voice giving him away. "i don't have to do shit for you, ok? i'll eat when i want to, f-fuck…" he swayed on his feet slightly, grabbing the table for support. dapper popped his lips in distress and leapt up to help him, but anti shoved him away. "don't t-touch me! christ on a bleeding bike, dap, fucking calm it. finish eating, we've got shit to do."

they had been very silent on their way to the assigned drop off point, which was in a different part of the city that dapper never really went, way off the high street near the darker areas of town. dapper had his knife held in his sleeve, rolling it round and round to comfort himself. even anti seemed on edge, dark eyes darting back and forth as he breathed heavily, running his fingers down his own skin. "fucking hate this," he hissed, scowling. it didn't escape dapper's notice how anti's lip was quivering slightly. "hate this, hate this. i asked him to fucking meet me somewhere else, i don't goddamn like this."

dapper wondered why anti particularly disliked this part of town. in any case, they got to the bus stop where they were meant to meet and collapsed to the plastic seats, dapper bringing out his rara puppet to hold as anti began fidgeting uncontrollably, leg bouncing. dapper frowned - it wasn't like anti to be so panicked. "anti?" he signed, kicking the ground and leaning forward to look at his face. "anti, you ok?"

anti didn't answer, just stared down at his boots, face twitching. dapper sat up, sighing, and looked at the surrounding area outside the bus stop. everything seemed normal, just average shops and people and a zebra crossing in the middle of the road. the only unusual thing was the building in the middle of a bunch of others, a building that was blackened and surrounded by construction. dapper watched people skip by it as they walked. very weird. dapper swung his legs, popping his lips absentmindedly.

after nearly fifteen minutes of waiting, anti gave a short cry and clutched at his head, leaping to his feet. "fuck this. fuck this. this isn't bloody worth - i'm gonna find this fucking guy and tear his guts out so i can shove them down his throat and hang him from the bloody rafters by them. we're leaving. fuck this."

dapper hadn't seen anti so agitated in a while, and he whistled softly, running his thumb along the back of anti's hand. that usually calm him, dapper knew anti liked contact from people he trusted, but this time anti pulled away like he'd been burned. he was shaking slightly. "don't touch," he said angrily. "i'm gonna… i'm gonna call my contact, that bastard, give me a second here. walk over to the river if you want, i don't care."

dapper decided to take him up on that offer. he'd seen anti when he was his furious at someone, and it was worse now because it was very likely that anti was in a bad enough mood to actually track this man down and torture him later. he slid off his seat and bounced over down the street behind the bus stop to the river, not going too far so that anti could still see him if he turned around. he knew that, despite anti's uncaring act, he genuinely did love dapper and wanted him safe.

there were a few boats lingering in the water, plus a few ducks and even a swan. anti didn't care for most animals, but dapper loved them. "swan," he signed, curling his hand and making a sweeping motion with his whole arm. "and duck." the sign for duck was an open and closed repetitive hand movement in front of his mouth. that was a sign he enjoyed. he leaned over the fence, making the duck sign again and grinning to himself. the ducks and swan paid no mind, but dapper didn't care. he just watched them, enjoying the breeze in his hair, enjoying being alone.

"anti?"

ok, so he maybe wasn't alone.

dapper whirled round to face whoever it was, the knife in his sleeve sliding down into his palm. the person standing there was a man with a chin length mess of curly hair, wide eyes and a long black jacket over dark clothes. he was breathing shallowly, eyes darting all over dapper like he was analyzing him. dapper couldn't properly growl or hiss like anti could, but he bared his teeth, clicking his tongue in warning.

the man held up both hands, expression flickering from shock to confusion. "anti?" he said again, more uncertain this time. "i - is that you?"

dapper shook his head sharply.

the other man exhaled, slowly lowering his hands. "i'm sorry. i - i must have… mistaken you…" even as he said it, he was still scrutinizing dapper, biting his lip. "do you - would you happen to know a man named anti? or - i don't think that's his real name, but something beginning with a? he looks just like you except without a mustache and uh - he had green hair?"

this man knew too much. far too much. anti never used his real name around other people. he always went by other names, usually starting with a too - anthony, august, axel - but never by anti, how did this man know his name? how did he know his green hair? now was one of the rare occasions in which dapper wished he had a voice just so he could yell all the questions he needed answered. he was starting to think he should kill this man and be done with it.

anti often told dapper that he should pretend to be deaf if someone tried to speak to him in public. he wasn't sure if that applied now, but he made an exaggerated face of confusion and began signing. "who are you?" he asked. "why do you know my anti?"

just as dapper had thought, the man blinked, uncertain of himself. "oh, i - i don't know sign language, i'm sorry," he said. then he screwed up his face, realizing that dapper wouldn't be able to hear him anyway. dapper took this opportunity to quickly walk past the man, blood pumping in his ears, making his way back to anti. before he went back, however, he walked round down the waterfront over the bridge and back again, trying to throw the man off his trail just in case.

anti was still at the bus stop. he had his legs pulled up to his chest, face buried in his knees. dapper clapped to show he was coming, and anti jumped. he unfolded himself and softened his glare, sighing softly. "hey, dap," he mumbled before going silent. the fact that he hadn't noticed dapper had gone was enough to show how stressed he was. "fucker didn't answer. probably bailed, the bastard. i'll find him, i will - let's just go."

dapper hesitated, considering whether to tell anti about what had happened or not. eventually he decided that would be best to let him know, in case the man was dangerous. "someone was looking for you."

anti raised an eyebrow, slinging his back back over his shoulder. "who? my contact? did he have a mullet, awful beard, wearing a dark coat? i'll kill the bitch, i swear i will."

dapper shook his head. "curly black hair, white, weird ear piercing. wearing a black coat. he called you by name."

anti had gone very still. "by name?" he said faintly. "like - anthony, or anything like that?"

dapper winced. "no. anti. he asked me if i was anti, or if i knew you. he said i looked like you but without the green hair."

anti didn't respond. his eyes were wide and had turned solid black like they tended to do when he was anxious or angry. dapper couldn't tell which one it was now. his face had gone ashen, all the colour drained from it. his bottom lip quivered with every ragged breath he took.

"we're leaving," he said loudly. he grabbed dapper's hand and yanked him to his feet again, ignoring his sharp whistle of protest. "come on, hurry the fuck up, we're -"

"anti!"

they froze in their tracks, and something dropped in dapper's chest.

the man had followed him, somehow. dapper had been certain he'd been alone, but evidently the persistent bastard had managed to trail him all the way back here. he was standing right in front of them, panting - he'd clearly ran - and staring at anti with parted lips, unmoving.

anti stared back.

"anti," breathed the man, shaking his head just slightly, chest rising and falling. "oh my god, fuck, it's really you, where have you been, where the hell did you go?"

anti was shaking. he swallowed hard, taking a sudden step back. mouth open like he wanted to speak. "i - don't know who you are," he said in a hoarse voice. it was clearly a lie. dapper could almost hear his brother's heart racing. "stay aw̛͞aỳ from me."

the other man lifted his hands, stepping towards them again. in the silence, his footsteps sounded thunderous. "please listen to me a sec," he said. "i've been - i've been looking for you for goddamn years, anti, fuck, i - i missed you."

dapper was now thoroughly baffled, looking back and forth from anti to the stranger. someone anti had once known who missed him? who knew anti by his real name but wasn't afraid of him? that was something dapper couldn't imagine. it seemed that anti couldn't either, as he suddenly gripped dapper's hand, breathing so hard he looked like he was going to be sick. "you're talking shit," anti spat, trembling. "i - i want you to fuck off, i swear to the gods, i'll kill you."

the man shuffled back, hands still up to show no harm. "please, i - you just vanished and i was so scared," he said, eyes wide and wet. "i looked everywhere but i couldn't find you, then the shop burned down - was that you?" his voice broke on the last word. "anti, fuck, i - fuck!"

"don't," anti choked out, letting go of dapper to claw at his throat, yanking the ends of his scarf. "don't, don't, please leave me alone, i don't - leave me alone. i'm - dapper, come on."

dapper almost couldn't move. "who?" he demanded, turning on anti to sign. "who is this?"

anti's expression contorted with anger. "none of your - doesn't matter, i'm going, i can't be -"

he stepped back again, and this time the other man leapt forward to grab anti's arm with a cry of "wait, please!" dapper fell back as anti shook the man off, crying out and shoving the man right to the ground so hard that dapper heard his back crack.

"ah - ah, shit -" he swore, hissing in pain, but before he could even sit up anti had turned on heel and raced down the street. dapper watched as he glitched away before he could turn the corner.

leaving dapper alone with the stranger on the ground.

he didn't know what to do. had this man hurt anti, was dapper supposed to help him? in any case, the man pushed himself up on shaky arms, head snapping back and forth until his eyes landed on dapper and he deflated, sighing. "he did it again," he mumbled, sitting up fully and brushing his hair out with his fingers. "that disappearing act. why does he always do that?"

dapper didn't know how to respond to that. he suddenly had so much to ask this man, but he knew anti was probably having a breakdown somewhere and he should find him before he did something bad. quickly, he rummaged in his small messenger bag, pulling out his sketchbook and a blunt pencil. who are you? he scribbled, showing the paper to the man. he squinted to read it, still rubbing the back of his head.

"uh - can you hear me?" he asked, and dapper nodded. the man exhaled. "ok. my name's rhudy, and i'm - i… was a friend of anti's. or whatever his name is. i just called him that, ha. i never found out his real name."

dapper frowned. his name is anti. that's the name he's always had.

rhudy's eyes widened. "wait, actual? or... did he take the name i gave him?" he gave a small laugh that almost sounded like a sob. "oh, fucking christ, oh my god."

this was only raising more questions in dapper's mind. he kept writing, painfully aware of the fact that anti was probably going to murder him for this. who are you to him? he's never told me about you.

rhudy sniffed, blinking. "i - don't know, actually. i mean, we were friends, then we -" he flushed, exhaling. "i guess we messed up. i didn't realize he was magic too, and by the time i realized he was already vanishing away. i never saw him again." he bit his lip, clenching his fists. "he burned down the fucking shop i worked in. i just - i wanted to know why."

dapper's gaze wandered across the road to the blackened building on the other side. that's your shop? he scribbled. i'm sorry about what he did.

rhudy was silent for a moment. "are you his brother?" he asked. dapper nodded again, rhudy following afterwards. "thought so, right. he… he never told me he had any siblings." his voice broke and he let out a shuddering sigh, tilting his head back and hitting the wall of the bus stop. "ok. i get the feeling you're - you're gonna disappear too. strange how i can detect more from you than him… will you tell him something from me?"

dapper wanted to ask about what "detect" meant, but didn't bother. what is it?

rhudy lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes, screwing up his face. "tell him i'm sorry?" he croaked. "i must have messed up. some days i wondered if he was ever even real or if i fell in love with a fucking ghost. i just - i've been looking for him in my spare time, of which there isn't much, i just wanted to find him so badly. is he - is he ok? tell me that at least, please."

dapper was still reeling from the "fell in love" part - trying to imagine anti with someone romantically was wild enough - but he tried to summon an answer to his question. looking into the man's desperate eyes, he decided there was only one thing to say. he's doing good, dapper lied. we're both good. and i'll tell him you said that, yeah.

rhudy covered his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut. "good," he managed, voice high pitched and muffled. "ok, good. good for him, glad he's ok." he gave a small laugh. "i - don't think there will be another way to contact you again, if i'm seeing correctly. but, uh - yeah. fuck, fuck, i'm…"

dapper's heart was racing, confusion bubbling in his head. all he could think of to do was write i'm sorry on the paper, rip it out and hand it to the man. he took it with shaking hands, reading it over and over.

dapper stood and left the man behind. it was all he could do.

he knew anti wouldn't have went home. it wasn't even "home" anyway, so to speak. just an illegally rented flat with peeling walls and cold, bare floors. no, anti would have gone somewhere more familiar. somewhere that wasn't far - it only took dapper ten minutes to walk to the empty field, another two to climb all the way up. the whole time, dapper's mind was racing thinking about that man at the bus stop. had anti been with him? what had happened between them? with anti, it wouldn't have needed to be much. gods, this was too much to think about all at once.

he found anti on the front steps of the abandoned waterworks.

he was curled forwards the way he usually was when he was upset, face planted in his knees and arms wrapped around his head. dapper clicked his tongue softly as he walked towards him. anti shook his head and ignored him. "anti," dapper signed, despite knowing his brother couldn't see him. he crouched in front of his shivering form, noticing how anti's shoulders were shaking, the small, wheezy gasps he kept making. "anti, look up. look up."

anti shook his head, drawing further into himself. dapper whistled in warning before gently putting a hand in his hair, trying to soothe him. anti made a noise, a small noise that sounded almost like a sob.

"fuck," anti whimpered, and lifted his head just a bit, scrubbing at his face. "i - stop it, ow, shit, christ - this isn't fair, i wasn't supposed to -"

and oh, dapper could see anti's face now and he wished he couldn't because his brother was crying, he was really crying and dapper had never seen anti cry before and he was at a sudden loss for what to do. anti hissed in pain, pulling his sleeve over his hand to clean his face. the tears were… burning into his skin. leaving thin, dark trails down his face and them dripping onto the ground below. dapper suddenly realized where the raised white scars on anti's face must have came from.

"anti," dapper signed again, stunned. "i'm -"

"rewind it," anti blurted. he wasn't breathing right, was staring straight ahead with unfocused black eyes. "rewind it. i don't want any - i don't want to see - don't want to see him."

dapper swallowed a lump in his throat, biting down on his lip. "anti. i can't do that."

anti suddenly turned on him. "fucking rewind it!" he roared, and he'd stopped crying, his face dark and bleeding slightly where the tears had fallen. "that's what you're for! bloody rewind, i don't care, just get rid of it, fuck's sake, fuck's sake!"

dapper's mouth fell open, hands hanging in the air uselessly. anti suddenly grabbed them, squeezing his wrists together. "undo this!" he sobbed, his eyes flashing from light to dark to light to dark. "fucking undo it, dapper, that's all you're bloody here for, isn't it? to fix my fucking mistakes where i mess up! so undo it, and prevent it from happening! and if - if i protest not going out today -" he coughed, dropping dapper's hands and clutching his throat again, eyes too wide and shiny. "just tell me to stay away from that shop."

dapper knew if he rewinded, anti wouldn't remember any of this. he might as well just ask what he wanted to ask.

"you loved him?" dapper signed, keeping his eyes trained on anti's. "he loved you?"

for a moment, the question hung in the air, almost painfully, and dapper waited for anti to slap him. to grab the string on his neck and pull it to remind him of his place. to kick him to the ground and pin him there before demanding he turned back time before anti suffocated him in the dirt. but none of that happened.

in fact, anti almost softened.

"yes," he mumbled, eyes unfocused, tracing his fingers gently over his neck through his bandages. "please… dapper, please. please."

anti was begging and anti never begged for anything.

"i'll rewind," dapper said. the magic was already boiling in his blood, numbing the tips of his fingers and making his eyes well up. "anti. i never knew you could love anyone."

and anti just looked up, dark eyes wet, dark eyes so different from dapper's own, from all their brothers. "neither did i," he mumbled. he barked a laugh. "oh - dapper, dapper. don't remind me this happened, please. i don't want to know."

and just before dapper let the magic take over, he wondered if anti wore his eyes dark because the others were all so light.

silver. a colour anti told dapper about often. "dames, your eyes are silver," he would say. "your hands are all silver. why the silver today, dap? is it a silver day?"

dapper loved the word silver. he'd learned how to mouth the word, forming the shape with his mouth like he could say it aloud. silver was the colour of his eyes, even if dapper was blind to colour. silver the colour of his eyes and hands and tips of his hair when he was using magic. sometimes dapper couldn't get rid of the colour. silver days, were what anti always called them. on those days, when dapper was too distressed to come down from his magic haze and wanted nothing more than to use every ounce of energy he had to push himself back to his creation and further, anti would lay dapper on his shoulder or his lap and play with his hair, sometimes even softly singing if dapper was shaking hard enough. dapper liked silver days because of this. he always got the feeling anti did too. they both needed an excuse for the quiet warmth and contact between the two of them.

today was not a silver day. there would be no comfort for it.

river, sea, ocean. shining pale, silver water rising to his knees. already dapper was tired. time magic took so much out of him, and his legs were shaking, struggling to keep himself up. there was nothing in this black void to hold onto. nothing but water to paddle, pushing time back with nothing more than aching hands that had removed hours from the universe, days, weeks, each drop a second that dapper controlled. power. this was his place. his time. his time.

and they were back in the flat within seconds -

dapper readjusted himself quickly. didn't move to help him this time. instead, he clapped his hands in front of anti's face, making him look up. "you can't go out," he told him matter of factly. "you want to stay away from the shop."

anti paled even further. dapper turned away and left the room.

dapper was used to anti's secrets.

he knew, of course, that anti didn't tell him everything. there were things about him that maybe he would never know; the pretty dark haired man who'd called anti a friend, the names anti used that even dapper hadn't heard, the years with the light eyed creator that he had long suspected anti had loved once. but anti could keep his secrets. dapper didn't need them. dapper was hurting enough without the knowledge of who anti could have been, who even dapper himself could have been.

anti kept his secrets, and dapper kept his.

his brother never asked why dapper had rewinded that day. maybe he suspected. maybe he was too afraid to hear the truth. all dapper knew was that he would have nightmares containing the dark haired man for a long time to come.

#jacksepticeye #boop writes #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #rhudy o'donnell #arc three: righting wrongs

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studyingoose · 5 years

Text

i’m always trying to find ways to lessen my impact on the environment but being a uni student means that most of the time i’m trying to find a balance between realistic long term actions and sustainability. so below, i’ve shared some of the ways i currently help lessen my environmental impact as well as some habits i’d like to slowly integrate into my life in the future.

bring your own water bottle - i think this one is pretty straight forward. i’m very lucky in the sense that my university provides a lot of refill stations. i usually pack my water the night before with my lunch so i don’t have to stress about it the next day. plus!! with my own water bottle, i can add lemon slices or mint etc. in winter, i like to use a thermos and bring honey lemon water, hot tea, or just not chilly water.

pack your own lunch - this not only helps you save money but also makes sure you know what you’re eating. i have a perfect sandwich sized container as well so it means i don’t have to use plastic wrap for anything. since i’m a vegetarian, most of my meals are pretty straightforward and feature rice, pasta, eggs etc. that i can buy in bulk with less plastic packaging as well.

bring your own utensils/keep cup - if you enjoy coffee, either sit in the cafe or bring your own reusable keep cup! my university is really conscious about this so all the nearby cafes let us bring our own cups and sometimes you even get discounts for not using single use cups. when i do go out to eat as well, i try to bring my own utensils so i don’t have to use the single use plastic (or even those wooden chopsticks) this also applies to straws for bubble tea or smoothies.

switch milks - i know a lot of people already have coconut, soy, almond milks with their coffee/tea due to lactose intolerance/other medical/personal reasons. many coffee shops do charge for plant milks but if they don’t then it’s an option since the dairy industry produces a lot of methane (also plant based milks are healthier). i don’t personally buy milk often because i don’t drink it so it’s not a big dent in my budgeting but if it is then don’t worry about it.

reuse notebooks - on top of recycling my scrap paper, i reuse notebooks that i never finished. instead of organising my notebooks in terms of papers or courses, i separate them by area of study so it means that i can use the same notebook for 3/4 years for politics or english. otherwise, i use the backs of notebooks to write practice essays, do past papers, doodle, do random brain dumps etc. essentially i treat unused paper in notebooks like loose leaf.

buy pen refills and do pen audits - find out what pens you actually use!! i know for me, i’ve felt pressured by the studyblr “aesthetic” to buy stationary that i don’t have a use for and it just results in unnecessary consumerism. i use roughly 10 pens at most as well as some art supplies but for my pens, i try to use refills instead of replacing the entire pen. in the future, i’d like to also stop using correction tape and be comfortable enough to just cross things out. i have to use a wide range of pencils for art but in general use, i simply own 3 mechanical pencils and refill the lead instead.

carry a reusable shopping bag - recently, my country banned single use plastic bags so now everyone uses reusable shopping bags or no bags. although you can buy brown paper bags for 20 cents in supermarkets, you never know what you’ll need to carry around so i like to bring a tote bag.

invest in a quilt - i am super guilty of getting cold really easily and that means i usually have the heater/thermostat on in winter when i’m studying but recently i’ve come to realise that i abuse that a lot. so instead of automatically going to turn on the heater, i try to see if i’m wearing enough first or getting a quilt to put on my lap when i feel cold. this way i don’t have to rack a super high power bill in winter.

change your mailing options - previously i’d get mail from my bank regarding bank statements etc. now i’ve opted for monthly statements online instead saving the paper that they’d use mailing me, similarly i no longer sign up for coupon books, circulars, random magazines etc.

thrift shop your clothes - i feel like this is a really big trend in my city but i’m trying to only thirft shop my clothes now instead of buying new. the thrift shops that i have access to are really good quality and it’s basically a reseller where people who bring their clothes in get 50% of the sale. this does mean that clothes are pricier than big chains like h&m but it also means that you have to think about the purchase for longer + a lot of the finds are super unique and will most likely last longer.

mend your own clothes - in a similar sense to thrifting, don’t just throw out a shirt because it’s missing a button. a 20 minute youtube tutorial can make sure that shirt remains a staple item in your wardrobe. plus sewing leads to darning your socks, knitting, crochet, or even making your own clothes.

consider epilating/laser hair removal - i used to go through so many plastic razors during summer because i was someone who preferred no hair. i know there are many people who don’t mind their body hair and that’s great! for those of you who do however, considering an epilator (multi use) or even laser hair removal (permanent). both are more expensive however they both also use less plastic (compared to fornightly/monthly throwing away of razors)

bulk make your own snacks - i really want to make my own museli bars in the future since i eat them a lot. usually i try to limit my snacks to things like carrot/celery sticks, fruit, nuts, berries etc. but i try to not get individually packaged snacks (they can be more expensive as well since you’re paying for convenience). this is definitely something i can work on but i’d like to be able to bulk make my own granola, museli, dips etc. in the future.

replant your vegetables - this is a lot more achievable for me since the place i live is rural in land style. currently my family has a multitude of fruit trees, tea trees and we’ve recently gotten into reusing our vegetable scraps. for celery/cabbage/lettuce/etc. you can replant the root area. the same goes for spring onions (which are super easy to grow! and garlic cloves!) most vegetables are quite easy to grow with just a bit of googling. even if you don’t have a lot of space but would like to give this a shot, consider adding some herbs to your indoors plant collection.

visit farmers markets - unfortunately, this isn’t that big a thing where i live but i remember going to a few as a kid and the produce is much fresher, the atmosphere is lovely, and it’s a good way to source food and products. many stalls also sell premade items like jams, sauces, baked goods, soap etc. so if you find yourself busy then it may be a possible investment to buy from farmers markets.

some other habits: composting, public transport, bicycling, bamboo toothbrushes, natural home cleaners, raising your own animals, beeswax wraps, cloth napkins/handkerchiefs, buy in bulk, use rain water to water your plants, invest in a menstrual cup, choose wooden over plastic

disclaimer: you don’t necessarily need to buy anything to be more environment friendly!! some things on this list do suggest it but look at your life currently, if you don’t drink coffee or tea on the go then there’s no need for a keep cup etc. invest in products, don’t just buy them because they’ve been advertised.also, i’d like to iterate that whilst climate change is a very real and very scary threat, personal use by the general population only results in a small part of it so please don’t feel like you’re letting anyone down if your personal situation or any part of your life prevents you from doing more than a few things to help the environment. as long as you’re not being dick to the environment and taking 4 hour showers, using 500 plastic straws a day then doing your best is enough. if you can’t do anything more in lessening your environmental footprint, then that’s okay. other people might be able to so even just spreading the news could help a lot.

if you have any other habits that you do not in this list then please tell me as well so we can all learn from each other !

happy learning everyone xx

#environment #study #studyblr #studyspo #studylustre #studypetals #heysareena #heycho #lookpat #eintsein #studyplants #studyquill #obsidianstudy #studyinspo #reference #resources

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