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snekdood · 1 year

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"Narcissistic abuse" vs NPD

Hey guys, i feel like I need to talk about something, if only because i was one of those ppl who ended up watching a lot of videos about "narcissistic abuse" which demonized tf out of ppl with NPD so now i feel a moral obligation to do something, whatever that may be. So I guess this is one of my attempts to do something.

Because im someone who ended up watching a lot of those videos, it really forged my perceptions of people with NPD, but i think theres an important distinction here to be made. I do personally feel like narcissistic abuse exists, but i dont think it exists *only* within the realm of people with npd as a lot of these videos and articles suggest. I think just about anyone can engage in narcissistic abuse because the point is the abuse is incredibly selfish and self centered on part of the abuser. I dont think it has to be connected with people with NPD and the only connection is made with the similar names, so maybe we need to come up with a new term for it, because ive personally found a lot of value out of those videos, it helped explain to me what was going on, the way people abused me, the way their mind worked, what they were likely to do, etc. And has pretty much been on the nose. I dont think multiple videos like this would exist if there wasnt a common experience. I just dont think its something people with npd exclusively do like a lot of these videos suggest. Im like 90% sure one of my bullies abused me this way, would do anything to maintain their social standing and keep me on the bottom, but i do not believe that person has npd and it wouldnt be fair for me to diagnose that person anyways because i barely know anything about that person personally.

Part of the reason these videos kinda revealed to me its not just an npd thing is the fact that they kept having to come up with new, scarier words for ppl with npd. Like "the dark triad" or whatever because the realization that their trauma is the reason they act the way they do makes the victim upset and not want to have to sympathize, which is understandable, but its not healthy and it means they have to make it sound like its something more extreme to have a justification for essentially wanting that person to be kicked off the planet, which i can understand why an abuse victim might feel that way, i just dont think its helpful to shunt all the responsibility on to ppl with npd and obviously that abuse victim needs to be more practical, empathetic and realistic because you cant control other people and you're likely to not actually do anything to your abuser to get revenge, so sitting here seething in your contempt does nothing but hurt you long term while your abuser has essentially forgotten you exist. But i digress.

The biggest issue with these videos is the name of the abuse and the association with ppl with npd, because theres many reasons why people would want to keep their social position outside of an extremely insecure sense of self or whatever tf. The other issue with these videos is the huge demonization and misunderstanding about people with npd. The idea that theyre all abusive, that they cant change, that they hold every Bad diagnostic criteria and it makes them *evil* or whatever tf. The way people talk about ppl with npd in those videos is pretty horrendous actually. It gets to a point where you wonder if the person posting the video wants to essentially genocide ppl with npd, which i think is kinda fuckin crazy ngl, i dont think thats a solution nor do i think all ppl with npd are such a huge problem that we need to get rid of them or exile them from society or whatever tf. Ppl with npd more than anything need therapy of some sort, and these videos 100% can talk about this form of abuse without throwing ppl with npd under the bus every 5 seconds.

I know people dismiss this as just "any kind of abuse" but i really dont think it is, its a really specific, insidious type of abuse where someone will do anything to maintain their position, they will toss away all their morals bc maintaining that position is the most important thing to them. They are people who are very driven by their ego, and anyone can be driven by their ego, so no, its not just an npd thing. Theres other forms of abuse that arent driven by a need to maintain their social position, so also no, its not all the same and i dont think it should all be labeled as general abuse, because the trauma this can cause is notable and having a space to talk with people who've had similar experiences is really important and helpful. We just gotta stop demonizing ppl with npd since its very much not their sole issue, nor would i say its a guarantee ppl with npd will treat you that way, and its pretty toxic to assume that, especially since ppl without npd routinely engage in this form of abuse. I dont believe theres truly any justification for ostracizing and wanting to essentially kill off an entire group of people and ppl should stop trying to find excuses to do so.

Anyways, thing i wanted to say and have been thinking about for a while has been said, you may proceed with whatever judgements you seemingly endlessly have about me.

#narcissistic abuse #npd #also uh... i think we gotta be not so judgemental about ppl who have consumed that content bc theyre going off of what they were told.#those videos make a point of you apparently not needing the nuanced understanding of your abuser so ppl naturally dont look up the sad or #sympathetic parts of ppl with npd.#and bc those videos see narcissistic abuse and npd as essentially two sides of the same coin theres just a lot of confusion for the ppl #consuming those videos. the onus is on the ppl vreating that content to actually educate themselves and stop demonizing and generalizing an #entire population of people.#anyways yeh #my phone kept trying to write nod like every time i wrote npd. omg it just did it too. im so upset i hate my phone shsjkssk

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easy-baked-oven · 2 years

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i didn't get groomed she was just mean!!

#she just had all these issues or whatever #it doesn't count because i intiated the friendship #so she couldn't have groomed me bc thats not how that works #she asked me out but that's bc we were basically already in a state of kinda dating #she also tried to break up with me like? a few times? but i was shitty and so we decided we could figure it out #i was SO shitty about it like every time for real #so like that's not groomer behavior you dont break up with the person youre grooming #i was like 14 she was only like 17 #thats not even old enough to groom someone that's not enough of an age gap #she was just mean to me like? she didn't do any more than that?#she just did the like? narcissist thing? i guess? love bombing?#where they're super nice and kind but then also sometimes you're the scum of the earth or whatever #she was so silly that was a silly little relationship #i did not get groomed or abused hope this helps clear things up

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eclipsedsuns · 2 years

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5 and 15 for the ask game :)

5. where do you buy books?

barnes & noble and local bookstores when i can! amazon when i need a book asap or if i can’t find it anywhere else

15. recommend and review a book.

YOU by caroline kepnes | ★ ★ ★ ★ ★/5

obviously the tv show is incredibly well done. the acting is fantastic. the narration is chilling. the visuals are ridiculous. the whole thing is amazing. when i say the book is even better, i mean the book is fully, completely, entirely bonkers. i have reread this book so many times it’s embarrassing. the first time i read YOU was with my mom and i will never forget how it felt reading the first paragraph for the first time. kepnes’s writing is so incredible and her ability to almost trick you into sympathizing with joe is insane and, frankly, evil. there were so many times my mom and i (empaths) caught ourselves almost rooting for him, simply because the way she writes is so intense and vivid that we’d get lost in his emotions and forget he was the bad guy. i have so many thoughts on this book that cannot be properly expressed because i have a limited grasp on language but basically: holy shit. this book is insane.

#ask games #folkloredeluxe #answered #also when we read it for the first time we were living with an emotionally abusive narcissist so some of joe’s behaviors we were like #‘this is normal’ but it WASN’T

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silverislander · 1 month

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have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting

#you got the WRONG BITCH bc you just hit on two of my biggest interests (zombie movies and psychology) at once #FIRST of all. you dont have the credentials to be talking abt this and it shows bc why dont you know what psychotic means!!#simple shit!! you want to pretend you know psychology dont fuck up psychopathology psychopathy and psychosis! all different things!#you can BARELY conceive of narcissism. a one off joke about how a character recognizes his flaws and wishes he was respected more #is NOT proof to label someone as a fucking narcissist oh my god. id actually argue the complete opposite #you are accusing A Zombie of being abusive based on (checks notes) being scary looking eating brains and /protecting a girl/#bc uhhhhhhh smth smth dark triad smth smth twi/ight #last time i checked thats literally just fucking normal ass zombie shit + him being NICE!!#its not male gaze 'ocular aggression' bestie he cant blink. hes dead.#talking about how the zombie is unrepentantly creepy when he Literally worries about coming off as creepy In The Movie out loud #SECONDLY to circle back why are you so stressed about twilight. thats not even the subject of the chapter #(there are good critiques of those movies but this is not that)#your book came out in 2015 why were you still shitting your pants and crying that girls were having fun 3yrs ago at the EARLIEST #reaching so fucking hard to 'um ackshewally [thing that teenage girls like] bad' im shocked you didnt throw your fuckin back out #your arguments are nonsensical your positions reveal an alarming level of sexism and you should be ashamed #levi.txt #believe it or not im having fun rn. im funny complaining not angry complaining #w@rm b0dies isnt a Good movie but i will go to bat for it actually. let teenage girls have fun garbage #god knows adult men have enough of their own to choose from ESP in this genre #and its a movie that has a lot of interesting shit someone could analyze!! im focusing on it as a representation of changing feminism #but id love to see a reading of its portrayal of zombiehood as disability + its cure narrative #or critiquing how it writes its female characters bc admittedly theyre bad ngl #or on how survival is represented in comparison to films like zomb!e/and (which i also love) where you 'earn' survival with competence!#genuinely there is even smth to be said for the problematic nature of the brain eating element. id be intrigued by that paper #i dont think its much worse than the play the movie is based on? but its not nothing #it Is ultimately a little bit fucked up and i dont think the movie explores it enough #but noooooo we gotta talk about how the zombie is a narcissistic abuser bc of the brain eating. ok

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multific · 2 months

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Two Sides of The Same Coin

Hannibal Lecter x Wife!Reader

Warnings: Cannibalism, Smut, Murder +18!!!

Summary: You two were so different, yet still the same.

"Mrs Lecter?"

You turned and smiled at the woman. "Yes?" you asked with a soft tone when in reality you were fuming.

How dare she just come up to you out of the blue?!

How dare she interrupt your perfect evening?!

"Hi, My name is Lucy, and I'm a huge fan of your books." of course she was, your books are brilliant. "I truly believe you are a pioneer in the genre of horror-romance."

"Thank you very much." Of course you were, no one was as good as you.

"I was wondering if you could sign my book please?"

"No problem at all." you smiled so sweetly. Why would she even have the book with her?! You are in a restaurant! You quickly signed her book and she thanked you, with your smile still present you turned back and lifted your glass to your lips.

"No need to be angry, Darling." your husband chuckled as you looked into his eyes.

Reading the other as if you were open books was something that came to both of you naturally.

"I'm here to celebrate our anniversary. Not at a meet and greet."

"Of course, but you have to indulge them a little. Make them think they are important so they keep coming back. You mastered that one, My Love."

"I believe it was you rubbing off on me. After all, it is 30 years we have known one another."

"And I knew you were trouble from the second I saw you. Cunning, manipulative, narcissistic, egoistic, psychotic. And yet you are stunning and mine." Hannibal lifted his glass as you clicked yours against his.

"Only yours." you smiled at him, this one, was not fake but a genuine one for your husband.

On your way home from the restaurant, it began to rain, you let out a long sigh as Hannibal was driving.

"Rain always makes me nostalgic," you said as he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it. He stopped at a red light and you looked at him. "When you killed my stepfather... for me. It was also raining."

"He had it coming, he abused you and murdered your mother. I gave him a merciful end. One he didn't deserve."

"He deserved to suffer like I did, but it was not what I meant, Hannibal."

"Please, elaborate then."

"You killed him because he was about to kill me, you became my saviour, but it is not only that. I remember you tore him apart, you kept on cutting and breaking his bones. I should have been disgusted, yet all I could think about was the way your muscles tensed and the grunts you let out."

"So, I turned you on." he spoke as he turned a corner. "I figured, from the way you acted after."

"I never got naked so fast in my life. We made love in that pool of blood in front of the fireplace. I remember we were young and unsure. It was so hot, I could taste blood on your lips." you could recall the way he moved his hips, so amazing, he reached such depths inside you that you weren't even sure existed.

But he could also recall the way you completely submit to him. You only ever done that to him, no one else gets to have control over you, but him.

"Why are you bringing this up now? It has been a very long time ago."

"Because I want you to do the same tonight. As my gift for our wedding anniversary, I wish to watch you hunt, break and cut and then, I want you to fuck me in the blood."

"We are very similar, My Love." he stopped the car, your eyes never leaving him. "I was thinking almost the same." he smiled as the window behind you rolled down.

"Hi there, I like a three-way, 500 for an hour." the woman behind you talked and you finally turned to look at her.

Prostitutes disgusted you, the way they looked at your husband made your blood boil, but you smiled at her.

"How about a thousand and I get to watch?" Hannibal replied and you smirked.

The woman agreed and got into the backseat, having no idea what she was in for.

"Happy anniversary."

"I love you." you said as he began to drive again.

---

The next morning you wake up in your bed, under the warm sheets with the smell of food filling the air.

You slowly woke up as the blanket fell down your naked body.

You rolled out of bed, and got dressed in one of Hannibal's shirts before heading to the kitchen.

"Good morning." you said as he had his back turned towards you. You rounded the kitchen island and hugged him.

"Morning. I made your favourite for breakfast. Bacon with eggs."

You looked at the meat sizzling in the pan before looking up at Hannibal as he leaned down to kiss you.

"She truly was a pig."

Taglist: @castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie @il0vebeingdelulu @deliciousfestsalad @groovyqueer @lilliumrorum

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

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stargirllanaa · 4 months

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Happiness is a butterfly

Warnings: Dark!Rafe, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, domestic violence, manipulation, rafe is a narcissist, rafe is not nice

Summary: based on the Lana Del Rey song ‘happiness is a butterfly’ you and Rafe go to a party, and things don’t go as planned.

A/N: first time writing in a whileeeee and first time writing Rafe ahhh… please be kind lol also I definitely recommend listen to the song while reading

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

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You didn’t even want to go to the party in the first place; you wanted to stay in and hang out with your boyfriend, but that wasn’t enough for him; nothing was.

The first issue was your outfit, more specifically, your top. When your boyfriend sent you the ‘here’ text, you quickly finished applying your lipgloss before rushing down the stairs and out the door as quickly as possible, remembering how mad he was at you the last time you kept him waiting more than 5 minutes.

Approaching the truck parked in front of your house, you opened the passenger door. Rafe, preoccupied with his phone, glanced up when you entered. As he took in your outfit, his expression remained neutral, leaving it difficult to gauge his emotions.

“You look nice,” you said with a smile.

“Mhm.” he looked you up and down before looking at the road.

Your face instantly fell, and your anxiety started to rise; you knew something was off; you started analyzing yourself, looking for something that could have made him upset. You opened the vanity mirror, and when you looked at yourself, you could see your eyes were slightly glossy; you were tearing up. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself; you didn't want your tears to spill over and ruin your makeup.

As he continued driving, you just looked out the window; you didn't try to start another conversation after he had just dismissed you. When you looked at him, he gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles lacked color.

He broke the silence with a loud and dramatic sigh.

“I don't know who you're trying to impress with that shirt..if you can even call it that,” the blonde said, sounding very irritated.

You quickly looked down at your shirt, feeling insecure already.

“But you look like a slut.” he spat out as he looked back at you, waiting to see how you would react.

You didn't expect those words at this moment, but it was nothing new for Rafe to say things he knew would upset you.

“Why wouldn't you say something when we were at my house?” you questioned him as your eyebrows furrowed together and your heart rate increased.

The only Cameron son rolled his eyes in response to your question and looked back at the road as you approached the party.

“No one has time to wait for you to go back inside, change, and come back; I told you to be ready at a certain time, but you decided to wear that, not me. Why should I be punished?”

You scoffed in response; you couldn't believe his selfishness and rudeness.

“Are you serious?” you genuinely asked him. “So you have an issue with my shirt, but you also have an issue with me wanting to change it?”

“You're putting words in my mouth,” he said evenly without even looking at you as he pulled up in front of his friend's house.

You wrapped your arms over your stomach and shook your head in response.

“I want to go home.” you quietly murmured.

“What?” He snarled before putting the car into park.

“I want to go home,” you repeated, this time with more force.

“I'm not taking you home because you decided to dress like that,” he stated

The tension in the air was palpable in every moment of silence.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and looked around for something to cover yourself up with; Rafe was making you feel so insecure. Your eyes eventually landed on a navy blue polo sweatshirt on the back seat floor. You picked it up and pulled the sweatshirt over your head.

“Is this better?” you asked him in an annoyed tone.

“I guess,” he said before unbuckling his seatbelt, exiting the car and slamming his door.

He was still visibly upset, and you didn't know what to do; there was nothing you could do; he was mad at you for your choice of outfit, so he would do everything he could to ruin this night for you.

You exited the car and quickly followed behind him as the two of you approached the front door.

“Are you gonna act like this all night?” you asked with concern and annoyance.

“Like what?” he said, rhetorical to her in a sarcastic manner.

“I'm not dealing with this,” you said before turning around and walking towards the road.

As soon as you faced away from him, your tears spilled over; you hated when he got like this; you knew there was no way to change the way this night was going. So why even try? You just wanted to go inside, drink, have fun. You just wanted to dance with him, but you couldn't remember the last time the two of you danced together, and when you thought about it more, you couldn't even remember the last time you were happy.

“y/n!” He yelled, following behind you quickly.

He grabbed your arm roughly and pulled you with him, not back toward the party but near his truck.

You trashed your arm, trying to pull it out of his grasp, but before you even realized it, the two of you were behind his truck.

Rafe spun you around to face him but didn't let go of your arm; he started smirking when he saw your tears. He was sick.

“Youre so dramatic,” he spat, moving his grip on your arm around your waist. “Always fucking crying,” he continued.

“Maybe because you treat me like shit,” you spat between tears,

“Yeah…” he trailed off, “ because I'm always the bad guy... like you didn't leave the house looking like you were trying to get fucked by every guy at the party.”

“I didn't even want to go to the fucking party!” you shouted at him as tears rapidly plunged down your face.

“I-” Before you could get any more words out, The sudden impact echoed through the air as a sharp slap landed on your face.

“Who are you talking to?” he hissed.

Time seemed to slow for a moment as the stinging sensation registered. Your head turned with the force of the blow, and a shocked expression washed over your features.

Your hand reached to touch the reddening skin, fingers brushing over the tender area as if confirming the undeniable sting. You knew Rafe was a bad boyfriend, but you hadn't expected him to put his hands on you.

When your tearful eyes looked back up at his blue ones, he didn't seem to have any emotion, anger, sadness, or even regret.

He took a step back from you.

“I think you should get an Uber home.” the blonde said before leaving you outside and returning to his friend's house.

And that's exactly what you did.

As you sat in the back seat of your Uber, you couldn't stop the tears from falling down your face, the sobs from leaving the back of your throat. That was the coldest thing Rafe had ever done to you, and he had done a lot. Even when you tried to think of anything else, the smell of his sweatshirt you wore was reminder enough. You didn't want to go to the party; you just wanted to dance with him.

#dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron #dark rafe cameron #dark rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #dark!rafe x reader #dark!rafe cameron x reader #obx imagine #obx fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction

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megankoumori · 10 months

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In defense of a "Wicked Stepmother":

Sarah's Stepmother in "Labyrinth", named Irene in tie-in media, only gets about a minute of screen time before Sarah rushes off to her room in a soaked snit. Fanfic writers usually turn her into an evil bitch and even the manga sequel, "Return to Labyrinth", has her cold and abusive to Toby, her biological child. But here's the thing...

I think Sarah's mother gets a bum rap.

Dressing nicely for an evening out and having mild conflict with a teenager does not a Lady Tremaine make. And as someone who actually lived with a narcissistic, manipulative, emotionally abusive stepfather, I can tell you that Irene doesn't even come close to wicked step parent territory.

Backstory first. It's never spoken of in the film, but clues in Sarah's room tell us that her real mother is a stage actress who abandoned her and her father for another actor. Sarah idolizes her mother and tries to emulate her with play acting. Sarah's father met and married Irene sometime after Linda ran off, and Sarah, who thinks her mom walks on water, resents the hell out of Irene for taking her place. A place that Linda abandoned for another man.

She couldn't help it. He looked like David Bowie.

Let's look at her first alledged transgression. She won't let Merlin into the house. Instead she orders him into the garage. Heartless, we assume because we all love dogs and only the most soulless of monsters don't. But slow down. She didn't leave him out in the rain. She put him in the garage. Furthermore, Merlin is an Old English Sheepdog. Is he a nice dog? Sure, but he's also a breed that's notorious for being high maintenance and hard to keep clean and right now he's soaking wet and filthy. Irene isn't being cruel, she's trying to keep him from ruining the carpet.

So now Sarah and Irene are in the house about to have their confrontation. "Sarah, you're an hour late..."

Sarah lost track of time. Sarah is the one who screwed up. Irene has every right to be frustrated. For all we know, she and Robert were supposed to see a movie or meet someone and Sarah's tardiness wrecks their plans. Note, please, that while she is frustrated, she's not even yelling. My mom would have screamed bloody murder and then held it over my head for weeks.

"Your father and I go out very rarely..."

"You go out every single weekend!"

There is no way to confirm who is right on this. I will say Sarah is the one prone to hysterics and exaggeration, so it's not looking good for her.

"And I ask you to babysit only if it won't interfere with your plans."

I ask. Irene asks. She doesn't demand, and she doesn't expect Sarah to give up her previous plans.

"Well how would you know what my plans are? You don't even ask me anymore!"

Sarah, you were LARPing in a park by yourself. Furthermore, with the storm you would have gone home anyway.

"Well I assume you would tell me if you had a date. I'd like it if you had a date. You should have dates at your age."

Irene doesn't want Sarah to be a Cinderella stuck at home every night. She wants her to go out and have a social life. This is literally the opposite of the bedtime story Sarah tells Toby later.

Also, "I'd assume you tell me..." Irene might not be wording it in the best way here, but she wants Sarah to communicate with her. She wants them to have a relationship.

Then Robert enters the scene. "Sarah, you're home. We were worried about you."

WE were worried. As in both he and Irene. You think that's the reason she was waiting on the porch? Because their sixteen year old daughter is an hour past when she said she'd be home and now it's raining and getting dark?

It's not like she'd ever talk to a stranger.

Sarah runs up the stairs in a snit, not even acknowledging her father and leaving Irene dismayed. "She treats me like a wicked stepmother in a fairy story no matter what I say." Her voice isn't angry, it's hurt. She's making an effort to reach Sarah, but nothings working. She can't break through the tantrums and the anger and the hero worship of Linda.

Sarah is a fantasy junkie. It's all over her room. Her books are all fairy tales. Her dog and her teddy bear are named after figures from Arthurian legend. But she's wrapped herself in a different kind of fantasy, a toxic one. One where Irene, well meaning and kind, is one of the evil stepmothers from her fairytale books, while Linda is good and virtuous like one of the dead moms at the beginning. Except Linda isn't dead. She's shtupping a costar.

Part of Sarah's coming of age and maturity is rejecting Jareth, the stand in for her mother's lover and therefore finally rejecting following her mother's selfish path. We see her finally let go of Linda by putting her picture and clippings in the drawer. Hopefully, the next morning, after she picks the confetti out of her hair, she'll finally be able to start over with Irene.

#labyrinth #jim henson #sarah williams #the goblin king #jareth #david bowie

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l8dyvenus · 11 months

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astrology observations. #5

+ Moon in 4th tend to look for partners that remind them of their mothers. If placed in a man’s chart, I typically see this as them going for older women. 👩‍👦

regardless, If you want to bag a cancer placement man, nurture him or act like his mother. It will literally do the trick🙃trust me, I know, it’s literally how I bagged my boyfriend. but be careful, they most definitely have breeding kicks especially mixed w Virgo.

and if they are ethnic, learn more about the culture or ask about it. take trips to their homeland too! or just simply do your own research to impress them.

+ it’s true, Libra suns run from conflict or ignore it. and if mixed with Water placements in a chart, they tend to lie to try to keep the peace. sometimes it does backfire on them.

+ Leo moons, did your mom always try to humble you?

+ Cancers and Taurus’s go so well together 🥹

+ I noticed that people who’s planet(s) fall into my 8th house tend to give/buy me things everytime I see them. I literally don’t even have to ask. they give me more compliments and find me pretty than people who’s planets fall into my 1st. 🤣

As a 8th house Stellium, I loveeeee people who fall into my 8th house, never had an bad encounter we just always clicked🫶🏾.

+ read a post that said Mars in 4th H takes on which ever parent shows that aggressive impatience nature and whewww, they didn’t have to read me like that 🤭.

+ a Scorpio moon once told me, “if they are not obsessed with me, I just don’t think they like me fr” LMFAOOO

+ All Scorpio moons aren’t as bad as portrayed to be, it really just depends on their relationship with their mother. I see this placement as like having a Cancer/4th house moon. even though Scorpio is at fault in this position, it shows greatly that the mother has a MAJOR influence and role on how they act, respond, their mindset, and characteristics. and all Scorpio moons and their relationship with their mothers are not bad either. but they could be over smothering. either a light helicopter parent, or a over the extent helicopter parent. I noticed that it depends on how well the moon is aspected. when the moon is negatively aspected, the moon person typically takes on the toxic characteristics and personality of their mothers which makes them destructive and “bad” as the stereotype. when not negatively aspecting, they are much more self/socially aware and conscious. not saying that negative aspected moons can’t be more self evolved, but they tend to have the shorter end of the stick. they just have take that journey to get there.

I met a Scorpio moon where his moon was well aspected with trines and sextiles to harmonious planets. His mother wasn’t abusive, narcissistic or any of that sort. Scorpio moon people typically were born at a time where it was very inconvenient traumatic time for the parents, especially the mother. This showed up in his chart as his mother being over protective and overly affectionate. Not necessarily an over the extent “helicopter” parent, but he would tell me she calls him everyday, sends him bible scriptures, tried to put him in the best schools, best positions in life to be better or have better than she had. Although majority of the choices she made for him, is not what he wanted, he knows that it’s from the good intentions of her heart. Pluto = evolution, death/rebirth, betterment, etc, so her actions showed up as wanting to protect him in her own traumatic way but also wanting him to evolve into something better.

+ Justice from the movie Poetic Justice definitely had Venus in the 8th H 💌

side note - I feel like erykah badu does too. I saw a post saying that every man she dealt with when they met her weren’t self evolve, then after their relationship they were all into the occult and dressed bohemian lmfaooo. like literally, search up erykah badu and the guys she dated, how they look then and now.

+ Neptune in the 4th, is it just me or is it hard to get anything done in your house without feeling tired? I have a lot of energy outside of my home, but when I get to my moms place I feel lazy and especially depressive. It’s hard for me to do anything. I didn’t realize that until I recently left for college then came back for visits, and then permanently stayed. Lmk 👄?

+ a Uranus dom or heavily placed in a males chart most definitely likes to paint his own nails. I don’t know if he is or not, but search up Dennis Rodman. He gives me Uranus Dom Vibes.

+ on the topic of Uranus, Aquarius, Leo, & Virgo placements in 8th degree are very experimental, but they can be deep into things like the dark web, bdsm, smut, abusive sex, etc. like really dark sexual shit.

+ Capricorn placements and the dying urge to crack the hell out of every bone in their body just for fun >> 😼

+ Aquarius moons tend to run to their friends for every thing, especially when it comes to family matters. friends could be an outlet for venting. But I noticed they tend to have a weird relationship with them. One minute they can have a lot of close friends and the next, those same close friends aren’t very close anymore.

+ water placements (especially moons) pay attention to how you feel around ppl. that is your biggest gift.

Anyways, CIAO! 😽

MASTERLIST

#astrology #astro community #astro notes #astrology notes #astro #astrology observations #scorpio moon #Uranus #annual profections #moon in 4th house

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trynafindbarbiee · 1 year

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VOID SUCCESS STORY <3

TW : Abusive family, bullying, suicide attempts!

Before I go straight into my success story I wanna THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart you are my fairy Angel and I love you more than anyone else bestiee :)

I'm sharing this here so everyone can see this

It's been so long since I've joined loa community but I always failed to manifest Consciously , I would constantly look for the 3D to change and I literally wasted years to learn how to manifest when it's the most easiest thing in the whole universe. Then luckly I came to know about the void state but I kept on failing I was unhealthy obsessed with the void with this my mental health became even worse I started to feel like not living anymore. I felt anxious very often, then one day I decided to end my life because things were getting terrible everyday. I attempted suicide and it failed and then the very first thing someone told me after this was "it failed because you deserve to live, you deserves the best, you deserves the world" And guess who it was! SHE WAS MY FAIRY ANGEL 🥺 YOU! MY BESTIEE <3 I'm very thankful to have a friend like you

What I've learnt over time is that these feelings are definitely not permanent and this too shall pass YES it hurts and survival feels difficult but the hope I got from my bestie (Barbie) throughout my recovery process is just unmatched, unexplainable especially for someone like me who keeps thinking that things will never get better. At the same time I was living in a abusive household I was being hated by my parents, friends, neighbours And one day IT'S nowhere near as bad as what you'll get, but my mom had a small amount of narcissist in her. SHE HELD MY HAND OVER A GAS STOVE because as an 15 year old I wrote something that she disagreed with in my journal. I experienced violence with my mother and father beating each other. Seeing drugs being used and knowing that there was something bad and wrong. I also seen my mother having sex with other men and once heard her having sex and I thought she was being beaten.As I got older, I began questioning her medieval methods. Whenever I brought it up, She would always say that she did it for my own good, or that she was showing me how the real world was like. As a baby, I was ferberized. I was sent to a daycare from the moment I could walk. My mother would often punch and slap me in the face, and so I developed a reflex where I put my hands near my head in defense if anyone raises their hands. I have been bullied and ridiculed.

I have overconsumed info to a point where I even started doubting bloggers and loa but then I met my fairy Angel, my life, my bestieeeee 🥺💗 Everyone, let me tell you all of you one thing that she's a real life Angel I swear! She was there with me when my own family was against me, she helped me through my toughest times, she never let me down, she took care of me like a big sister. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE A FREIND LIKE YOU CUTIE PIE <3! we started journey together and she entered the void but I was still struggling. When she messaged me telling that she did it I literally jumped out of my bed and cried, cried and cried I WAS SO HAPPY FOR HER. I got superrrr motivated after that so I took her advice and tried to enter the void once more but I still failed, I didn't enterbut she kept me motivated . She showed me the things and her mansion that she manifested so that I don't doubt void anymore and I'm so grateful to you for that . She told me to try to wake up in the void instead of entering I again listened her and tried and guess what! SHAMEFULLY I again failed , I was giving my power to a method, I didn't realize how powerful I AM.

After all the failed attempts I called Barbie and talked to her for 4 hours straight I told her all the things that were going on in my life and I cried a lot and even Barbie got emotional too and she cried for me I can't forget that day ever 🙂 she told me "Don't worry honey! It's never too late, I'll enter void for you and after that you will be free of all this bullshit" THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THISSSSSSS :) she already did so much for me and still she wanted to help me out, this is why I call you my Fairy Angel <3

And next day she did enter for me and affirmed that I'll wake up in the void but in the morning nothing happened I realized that I didn't woke up there I GOT SO DISCOURAGED and I told this to her and she said that I have to assume that I'll wake up in the void unless it will not work 🙁 I literally Slapped myself for doing such a stupid thing Not assuming that I'll wake up in the void :( But she again entered for me and again affirmed for me Like? How can someone be so nice?

AND THAT NIGHT I DID WOKE UP IN THE VOID 😩💗 I felt so relaxed there, I was in a whole dark space I manifested everything that I wrote in my journal , I was beyond happy that morning when I woke up in my dream apartment the first thing I did after seeing myself in my dream house was that I messaged barbie that WE DID IT 🥺 !!

Y'all are very lucky to have my bestie here , I love you honey, ily so much <3 God literally sent you for me

Sending you so much love, hugs and wet kisses 🤭

~ your beloved 🎀

The most beautiful SUCCESS STORY I ever saw !

Thankyou bub for sharing your story here too ♡

My eyes got wet while I was reading this :) like you are so sweet and strong! ily too and I always will and no need to thank me..Your life was exactly like mine bef I entered the void , I also experienced all this bullshit so I could understand your situation that's why I helped you so, no need to thank me 💗 You should thank yourself bc everytime u felt like ending ur life , everytime u felt like giving up YOU made it through... so thank youself honey ! <3 I'M SO PROUD YOU MAHH BESTIEEE

You also played a vital role in my journey !

I've been through a lot. I have been through things that I didn't even told u . I have been through things that I haven't told anyone . Because of the things that I've been through, I used have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting people. I used to overthink abt how to talk to you and share my feelings without making you feel bad or you thinking I'm dramatic. I don't know how to talk to you without it being awkward but not only u listened me but motivated me also even when u r going through the toughest time in ur life.... Yes I have so many friends But you r someone special , I love you differently than I love my any other friend. Yes we've been through hell. And it's been insane. But still we are together! ily ♡

Idk how do I put my happiness into words :) I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU

Enjoy ur life to the max <3

#void state #void success #void state success story

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alostlittleriverlotus · 1 month

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what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)

Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.

It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!

All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.

We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.

It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?

Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.

To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.

Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.

It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.

Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.

We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.

Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.

Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.

Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.

Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.

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snekdood · 2 years

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the sooner ppl recognize “persecution delusions” aren’t just some “narcissist” thing and are also a schizophrenic thing, the better off we’ll all be

#infact theres a couple delusions that schizophrenic ppl have that 'narcissists' have but the reasons and they way they go about it is #usually different. its not that i think im special and im the only person i focus on and bc im so special ppl want to attack me or whatever #im literally just terrified every day someones going to hurt me (probably bc of trauma and other factors growing up)#theres ppl in my past who totally were the types to stalk ppl on social media and try to ruin their rep #idk if they're still doing it or found a new target or what but sometimes yeah i might over assume about what those ppl are up to #because im tired and theyre abusive and it stresses me out to feel like im constantly being watched #and since i have paranoia and schizophrenic tendencies my minds constantly going 'well what if they're still watching you? what if they're #still trying to fuck with you?'#im not doing this bc i think im special im doing this bc im scared of my abuser and have had abusive stalker ppl before in my past #so much of my delusions about being stalked and watched growing up has come from a specific individual threatening to do that w my family #and not even threaten he has actually done it before and we got a restraining order #but after that he would still continue to threaten doing that #so tyhat trauma mixed w paranoia and schizphrenic tendencies was uh... not a great mix to say the least #thats literally the only reason im constantly combative on here. bc i feel like im still being watched.#and like. ill never know when they stop watching me either #which isnt great bc i cant just be like 'finally i can relax and not feel like theres someone inspecting my asshole every 5 seconds'#which to be fair is 100% intentional on their end. they know what theyre doing to me. theyve convinced ppl its moral somehow #ig constantly trying to trigger me enough to go offline is The Move but yall still dont even wanna consider for second if they're lying #hell. you probably come up with excuses for why any of their bad behavior is good actually and anything i do thats good is bad or whatever #theyre 100% pure and good witrh good intentions no nuance no grey areas and im 100% horrible and bad with bad intentions always and also #'my vibes ar eoff' so thats how you know im prolly the abuser here

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

-Real Life Edition-

• I have a friend who works as a hairdresser and she got the most beautiful hair Ive ever seen. Its like a lions mane, thick and huuuge! And ofc her husband is a Leo Venus.

• The most down to earth person Ive ever met had Venus in the 8th house, Virgo Moon and Aquarius Rising. She was sooo kind, honest and genuine. She had like this angelic aura surrounding her.

• The two most kind men Ive ever met both have Moon conjunct Venus. One of them got the conjunction in Cancer, can you imagine what a teddybear he is.

• I know 3 people who lie habituallly they cant even help it and they all have Neptune in the 3rd house. One of them got Mercury Square Neptune too. One of them showed me a picture of a less known actor and said it was her boyfriend💀😂.

• My archenemy from high school got her Chiron conjunct my Moon, My Chiron conjunct her Mars. Our Venus Square eachothers Ascendant. Her Nessus conjunct my Ascendant. Mars conjunct Mars. Moon Square Moon. Sun opposite Sun. We laugh about it today but we used to HATE eachother so intensely that we both would dream about eachother at night because all we thought about during the days was to win over the other. Yes we got a water mars

• Me myself got Mars conjunct Dejanira and Ive been in abusive situations with men my whole life.

• My dad got an Aries Ascendant and he have always been the one that family & friends call when they got problems or need someone to help them fight someone. People always call him for backup or just for him to come and scare someone. And he always gets in the car as soon as he gets the call, he never backs down from confrontation.

• I have Nessus in my 11th house and I was very abusive to my friends when I was younger. Still dont know why I acted like that.

• I know three women who are EXTREMELY beautiful like they would definitely get noticed if they went to hollywood. Two of them got Venus conjunct South Node and the third got Venus conjunct North Node conjunct Ascendant.

• I know two guys who had women they were not in a relationship with plot to have a baby with them. Both guys got Venus in the 5th house.

• My stepmother got Moon Square Lilith which is like THE placement of triangledrama and her parents are cheaters and she got involved with my dad when he was with another woman. (Not me spilling the tea about my family😂)

• The most shallow person Ive ever met in my entire life was a Libra Rising with Chiron in the 1st house, Venus Square Ascendant, Saturn Opposite Ascendant and Venus Square Saturn. She would hide her face when she saw a car drive by if she was out walking her dog without makeup. She was also OBSESSED with men.

• A famous person was having a Q/A on her instagram story and I was like disagreeing with all her answers. Like the food she liked I dont like, completely different taste in EVERYTHING. I had to check her chart and ofc our Moons are in Squaring signs. I could really feel how different we were at the core.

• My best childhood friend with Scorpio Rising and Cancer Moon was the one who always warned the friendgroup about fake people and didnt want to let anyone hang with us. We always thought that she was judgmental and bitchy, turned out she was right about all of the people she warned us about. Her intuition was SCARY. If she ever have children I hope they listen to whatever she says.

• I know a woman who is the kind of woman you can call in the middle of the night and she will jump out the bed to come and get you and ofc she got Moon in Cancer. Such a wonderful woman.. Its square pluto in Libra tho so dont betray her.

• The two most argumentative and competetive people I know got Mercury conjunct their Mars. They think everything is a competition.

• I know someone who I suspect to be a narcissist. I cant diagnose someone im not a doctor but she got all the signs. Both her daughters got Lilith in the 4th house in their natal charts and her husband got Chiron and Pluto in the 7th house in his chart…When I see someone with Lilith in 4th Im careful with their mom.

• A girl I went to high school with who I still talk to sometimes but she moved to another country, she was HATED by other women. She was seriously like known in our town. When I used to hang out with her people even messaged me asking me why I hang out with her and that shes disgusting. She got threathened by girls she didnt even know. Slutshamed in a way that was horrible and abusive. Yeah she got Lilith in the 1st house in Libra conjunct Moon in Libra.

• The people I know who have a dad whos in prison got Sun aspecting Pluto.

• My sister with Moon in the 10th house is a preschool teacher.

• The women I know with any kind of dislike towards children got Lilith aspecting their Moon or/and had Virgo placements.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #ascendant #lilith aspects #astrotidbits #asteroids #birth chart readings

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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WIBTA for “weaponizing the police” against my ex boyfriend? I (27) dated my ex (24) from late July to early October 2023.

TW: harassment, stalking, gaslighting, police (obvs lol)

You may remember the “AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend over pizza and a blowjob” and “AITA for telling my ex not to use a picture of himself in my bra as his pfp” stories.

TLDR:

I wouldn’t give him head bc my shoulder hurt from making him a custom mask for a fandom he’s super into. He screamed at me for asking him to get half-cheese pizza going forward (because the pizza we were eating had pepperoni under the cheese and I’m vegetarian); triggering my ptsd. So I broke up with him. NTA, conscience cleared. 👍

Months later; he sent me a screenshot from his twitter and his pfp was him wearing the mask I hurt my shoulder making for him… and my bra. When I told him to change it, he said I was using “white girl tears” and “treating him like Hitler.” He did change his pfp though.

I was voted NTA and encouraged to get a restraining order and “block him” which I had done over a dozen times, but he keeps making new numbers.

/TLDR

NOW…

From late October to now, he’s been on-again-off-again harassing me; using temporary phone numbers to accuse me of being narcissistic, abusive, evil, etc. I usually don’t respond, but he has a way of phrasing things so they stick in my mind like thorns.

No threats, just verbal abuse, gaslighting, victim blaming, and other mind games that he always wins.

I’ve told him to stop and blocked every number he’s contacted me from, and I’m looking into changing my number.

I also told him that if he didn’t leave me alone i would get a restraining order, and he told me i would be “weaponizing the police.”

He’s black and we live in the USA so I honestly don’t want to involve the police. I know police brutality is a very real problem and even though he’s made my life miserable and tanked my mental health, I would never wish that upon him. I just want him to leave me alone.

I looked it up, and the police would only be involved to serve him the court summons; everything else would be through the courts.

I still worry they would hurt him while serving the orders.

If IWBTA for getting the court system involved, please offer (realistic!) alternative solutions in the comments. I’m already looking into changing my number, but he lives 1/4 mile away from me and I can’t afford a security system.

Sending love and safety to you and everyone who read this whole mess. ❤️‍🩹💝💖

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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greenrosepdtl-blog · 1 month

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Ok so maybe I see this in a unique way because I’m a child of abuse and had narcissistic parent. But multiple things can be true at the same time. I hate how the internet is so incredibly black and white. Drake was absolutely sexually tortured for months as a child by someone he worked with who had SO MANY red flags and no one cared. This is a fact. It went to court and everything there’s documented FACTS. Now it can also be a fact that he SA-ed a teenager himself and has allegations against him. These things can be true at the same time. Sympathizing with someone for having something terrible happen to them doesn’t mean they are now 100% absolved from sin and get unlimited get out of jail free cards. It just means we are humans and so are they. It means people can be complicated and carry on cycles of abuse. It means trauma can make people do terrible things and even turn them into bad people when they get older if they don’t work to heal themselves.

When we all come together and say “poor teenage Drake! I’m so sad that should have never happened!” some people are acting like we are patting him on the back for sending dirty picks to a teen and being like “it’s ok buddy, completely understandable!” It’s getting infuriating especially on this site because we of all people should understand how deeply attached we get to our media. Us tumblr girlies should absolutely relate to being 13 and being in love with Drake and Josh and obsessively watching all these shows and buying the magazines with them in it only to find out now as adults that these people were being tortured for our entertainment.

Both things are true at once. The human experience especially when it involves abuse and trauma is incredibly complicated. I can be so terribly sad that this all happened to him because I care about the celebrity version of Drake I loved as a kid while also side eyeing adult Drake in case he himself is now in the darkness and hurting other people. We are complicated enough to feel multiple things at once people get it together.

#quiet on set #drake bell #nickelodeon

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