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magicxc · 6 months

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Hills and Valleys

Synopsis: Legend has it that Halloween is strictly for the scares. With ghouls and goblins, vampires and werewolves, witches and broomsticks, who could disagree?

However, all this friend group wanted was a little trick or treat. Sprinkle in a few party favors, loud music and a cabin in the woods, the myth was bound to come true.

Lurking around the corner is danger like never before, eager to bring this night to a bloody finish.

So join these friends as they fight to make it through a Hallween they’ll never forget.

Word Count: 3506

Warnings: murdaaaa, tha big reveal

Chapter 6 - Jasons POV

A/N: this is legit like my 5th attempt at uploading this damn fic. From the warnings to the word count to the moodboard to the story all the way down to the fucking tagsssss 😩 I am TIRED. Almost turned my phone into jello over Dumblr. So please, enjoy; cause tears def went into this.

Series Masterlist

“What’s with the scrutiny all of a sudden?” Emery challenged. “You know I could say the same for you Jason, the same for all of us really; cause where was anyone when our friends were fighting for their lives?” she sniffled. “All we have to do is sit here til sunrise and we can’t even do that.”

As annoying as I find Emery, she made a decent point. Where was I? Where was anyone and how did this manage to happen unheard? Do I actually believe Lorenzo did it? Not really. He’s lost arguably the two closest people in his friend group, cradling Stephanie in his arms for God knows how long. For a second I almost believed he’d break through the window if it meant he could reach out and hold Julianna much the same; his behaviour eerily composed, reminding me of the calm before the storm - and what a shit storm it’s turned out to be.

Serving in the military, I was taught to survive in extreme atmospheric conditions; training to fight in places as scorching as the desert and as icy as the snow. Our exercises also saw us in unsturdy places such as the choppy currents of the water, arms linked together as we floated on the surface for hours. The sky was no exception either, learning to parachute from altitudes so high the air was all but limited. It wasn’t my dream to fight for this country but, life happens. And while it did come with its perks, I wouldn’t recommend any sane person to join. I’ve scraped so many bodies off the battlefield and sent so many others to meet their maker, I’ve become somewhat desensitized to death - learning to keep calm during the most chaotic and life threatening moments because it’s only then that I was able to live to tell the tale. And that’s what I’ve been attempting since we all found ourselves locked in this place - surviving, lending out my experience to the team who quite frankly doesn't deserve it at this point. All I can do is stay calm long enough to see this night through.

“I think we should waterboard the fucker.”

And here the fuck we go. I’ve never pegged Lynn for such a firecracker but I get it. After all, this night is drawing all sorts of emotions from people: showing our true colors when the universe dangles something so priceless before us.

It's been said that about 1800 people have jumped from the golden gate bridge, yet only 35 have survived the fall. And each person that’s survived has explicitly stated that they regretted jumping halfway through the fall, realising, in the face of imminent danger, just how solvable all their problems seemed. Much like tonight, in what happened to be a party gone horribly wrong, recovering bodies littered around the house like candies during an easter egg hunt, only then do you realise how desperately you want to live. Many people are familiar with the term fight or flight, but what goes most overlooked is a secret third thing - fear. Fear so intense it freezes you to one spot like a deer in headlights, too afraid to move from the oncoming beams of tragedy. But another emotion fear pulls from us is survival, an emotion so fierce that you’d find yourself doing just about anything to have it; even going as far as to commit interrogation tactics of torture.

“Exactly which fucker are you referring to?” Emery questioned.

“Whoever the fucker is responsible for this mess.”

“Go ahead and point them out for us since you know every damn thing.”

They’re on their own with this one. I can't deal with the bickering. I'm used to organized and thought provoking responses in such situations; my irritation rising the more it sinks in just how wet they are behind the ears.

“Lorenzo, you’re one more insult away from me socking you in the face.”

“Whatever Lynn, what you should hit is the books you dumbass,” he retorts.

Throwing her shoe at him, it just barely misses his face; Emery stepping in to call them both childish.

“So help me God if you don’t get your shit together, I’m gonna whoop you like your parents should have.”

“Fuck you Lenny, at least my parents were active enough in my life not to let me get raised by the help.”

“Parent,” Lorenzo enunciated. “Had your dad been able to afford the help, maybe your mom would’ve stuck around you motherless bitch.”

Well shit.

“Jason, do something!”

“Right, uhhh all shoes in the middle of the floor,” I instructed.

“Asshole.”

I don’t know why Emery insists on calling me out. Everyone, despite tonight’s circumstances, in this room is responsible for their own actions. Yet she expects me to jump in the middle of their bullshit every time. I don't know what kind of savior complex they have going on, but I won’t be a part of it. I barely want to be with sugar at this point.

“Lenny you motherfucker, two parents plus the help and yet no one taught you what it means to have common decency; no wonder women can’t wait to get rid of you.”

“Well if it isn’t the whore of Babylon here to teach us a lesson about keeping partners. Tell you what, you teach me how to keep a woman and I’ll teach you how to get rid of the clap.”

“Sex shaming is not cool,” Emery criticized.

“And neither is half the things that's been flapping past Lynn's lying ass lips,” Lorenzo retorted. “If you’re gonna be biased, do so from the corner of the room, cause you’re at about arms length right now and that’s not good for you.

“Would you seriously hit me?” she ridiculed.

I would.

“Are you surprised Em, this is the same piece of shit who yanked Julez arm so hard, it left bruises.”

“You dramatic whore, no the fuck I did not.”

“And that was in front of an entire crowd, who knows what you’re capable of behind closed doors huh? Drowning? Slicing?”

“Sounds like you’re in the mood to find out.”

“Tell me their last words to you as you watched them fight for their lives you piece of shit.”

“YOU GUYS PLEASE.”

Oh my God.

“Shut your mouth Lynn.”

“Tell me every horrifying detail about what fucked you up so bad that you’d turn on your own friends in such a way.”

“I won't ask you again.”

“Steph probably begged you to finish her off didn’t she? Eager to get the hell away from you and your perverted advances.”

For a big guy, Lorenzo’s pretty damn swift. Maybe it’s because all those drinks are still sloshing around in my bloodstream but my cat like senses wasn’t quick enough to catch him.

Angrily lunging toward Lynn his hands are tightly wrapped around her throat, arms trembling from the forceful hold. Beads of sweat drip down his forehead, while spittled foam gathers at the corners of his mouth. Blinking away tears, thick veins line the surface of his neck, incoherent mumbling tumbling past his lips.

Sugar desperately beats at his arms, struggling for air he refuses to give her and my anger shoots through the roof, their foolishness pissing me off for the final time. It takes both me and Emery to tear Lorenzo away from sugar, his grip firm and unrelenting. For a second I feared that he actually intended to kill her. Once we finally manage to drag him away, it takes me putting my full weight on this man, using one of my hand to hand combat moves to lock him into place.

Pinned beneath me, I scream to Emery to grab anything strong enough to tie his arms together. She brings me back one of the kitchen towels and I roll us sideways so that she can wrap it around his hands.

“I - I can't do it, he won’t stop thrashing his arms.”

“For fucksake Emery TRY, there’s only so much I can do right now.

With lots of wiggling and flailing, Emery manages a decent enough knot for me to turn him over and reinforce it. Sugar finally catches her breath before storming into the kitchen.

We sit Lorenzo in a chair while Emery tries to coax him into comfort. Standing up, he head butts me in the face, my nose immediately leaking blood from the impact. My fist returns the favor, knocking him back into the chair. Emery harshly tugs on my elbow, begging me to stop, and it takes everything in me to do just that because this fight was about to turn real unfair, real quick.

Dragging my arm across my face, I look about the room for anything to tie down his legs to the chair, coming up with some loose cloth, which undoubtedly was a part of someone’s costume.

“Fuck all of you,” Lorenzo screams.

“No Lenny, fuck you,” sugar screeched, thumping back to the room; a pitcher full of water cradled between her hands.

“Woah, woah, woah LYNNLEY. Are you fucking serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“This is Lenny, the same Lenny we’ve known since middle school.”

“People change Em and I'm about to show you just how much.”

“Sugar, maybe we should-“

“Shut up, all of you.”

“I know there’s been a lot said tonight, some things in particular we can never take back,” Lorenzo sighed. “And I know tensions are high right now, but are they so high that you’d all sit there and watch me die.”

“Lorenzo, no one’s gonna kill anyone man.”

“It’s WATERBOARDING, you of all people should know that it can very well get fatal.”

“Enough of this.”

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she pulls his head back, pouring enough water on him to drench his clothes, before being snatched away by Emery.

It's not nearly enough to kill him, but it does make for some discomfort, much like accidentally snorting a noseful of water once you dive inside a swimming pool. It burns but that's about it.

Coughing through his discomfort, I listen as sugar and Emery go back and forth over the severity of it all; and I briefly contemplate killing myself if it means that I won't have to deal with their nonsense. I honestly don't know if I can make it to sunrise like this and by the looks of it, neither will they.

Their bickering finally subsides, them agreeing only to question the man and nothing more. Of course Lorenzo detests it, that for no other reason than a hunch he’s guilty and lowkey he’s right. But then again, I'm not inserting myself into their madness. They’ve made it this far in this fucked up friend circle, they can make it the rest of the night.

“So lemme get this straight, you went upstairs to find cell signal and somehow found yourself next to a knife stricken Steph?”

“Lynn, ask your damn question.”

“How did you end up there and why?”

“My phone fell out of the window and I was looking for someone elses to use. It just so happened that Steph was the first person I found.”

“I think we should stop asking who may have done it, but why?” Emery proposed. “I feel like if we can figure out who had motive, we can narrow it down.”

“Well this is a pretty fucked up way to narrow things down. I'm literally tied to a chair.”

“That's because you choked me.”

“And I’ll do it again, you’ve been out of pocket since this whole thing started. How do we know you’re not the killer huh?

“Because I’m holding back from killing you now,” she shrieks.

Spitting, the thick glob lands directly on her chest, sugar all but emptying the contents of the pitcher onto his face; angrily clomping back into the kitchen to no doubt fill it again, but not before slapping him across the cheek.

Wet and stinging, that's quite the combination. I fear this has gone on long enough and it's only escalating. As much as I wanted to stay out of it, I think I better intervene.

Following sugar into the kitchen, I try to talk her out of this crazed state, her dazed pupils letting me know that she’s too far gone for reason. Pushing past me, she heads back into the living room where we see Emery struggling to untie the knots off Lorenzo, his violent coughing trying to dislodge the water that seeped into his lungs.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“The hell does it look like I'm doing Lynn, this is mad and it needs to stop now.”

“Not until I get some answers.”

“People who talk, talk after their first contact with water,” I bargained. “And he’s not talking.”

“All that means is we have to get him talking then.”

“OR, it means he didn’t do it. You pour a bucket of water over someone’s nose and they’ll tell you whatever you want to hear if it means you’ll stop.”

“And yet you did it anyway,” she glared.

“There was a time where I would’ve died for all of you. I found a family in you guys and it filled a void I didn’t even know I had. And in one night, one measly fucking night I lose it all,” Lorenzo whimpered. “My best friend gets murdered without us ever properly mending things between us. I had to watch the love of my life die in my arms. And now, my other friend is actively trying to kill me, disregarding our decade long friendship all in the name of anger.

“Lorenzo, you did this to yourself!”

“LYNN, how fucking cruel can you be?”

“It’s alright Em, I’ve been known to be a bit of an asshole, though I’d like to think I meant well,” he bitterly chuckled, snot trickling down his nose. “Do me a favor and survive this fucked up night, cause God only knows who Lynn will turn on next. Not to mention that fucker over there,” he says, head nodding toward me. “Ain't it a little odd how all of this starts happening the moment he shows up? Yet I'm the one you helped him strap down to a chair. They ask what would you do for a klondike bar, but you better start asking what would Lynn do for a piece of dick, cause apparently it’s kill for it.”

“Lorenzo, I'm actually on your side. The only reason you’re even tied to that chair is because you attacked two people in this room,” I defended.

“And what's the reason I'm being waterboarded huh? Who weaseled that thought in her mind? You say you fight for your country? Motherfucker you can't even fight for the people in this room, but you like what’s happening huh?

“Not at all man.”

“We get it, I'm a dumb hoe, but you’re about to be a dead one if you don’t fess up.”

“And then what? You’ll let me go free?”

“Jason, please help me untie him,” Emery pleaded.

“Em don’t you fucking dare.”

Lunging toward her, hands get tangled into hair and nails get scratched into skin before I can get between them. It takes more strength than I care to give to hold Emery back, both she and sugar throwing around insults.

“Lynn I swear, you’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Lorenzo taunted. “YOU ARE THE CUM SHOT YOUR MOTHER SHOULDVE SWALLOWED. It would’ve saved your dad a lifetime of headaches and your mother the embarassm-“

Lorenzo’s words get cut off by the splashing of water, his gurgling noises buried under the guzzling of the pitcher. Emery goes wild, hitting my chest repeatedly and I toss her to the ground, jetting over to the scene behind me. Slapping the pitcher from Lynn’s hands, it's on the verge of empty, nothing but a trickle left inside as it splatters to the floor.

Lorenzo’s body furiously thrashes around, his chest caved in and head hung over with water spluttering from his mouth in an attempt to rid it from his body.

“Shit, Lynnley what the fuck did you do,” I screamed.

Emery is struggling to undo the knots, but all she’s doing is pulling them tighter together. I race over and lean the chair forward, hoping for gravity to expel some of the water from his airway, his body jerking about minorly.

“Why are you just standing there, find something to cut him loose.”

Scrambling into the kitchen, I hear dishes clinking and slamming together before Lynn comes running out with a knife, slicing through the cloth as best she can. The kitchen towel, since it was the thickest, took the longest and by the time we got him out the chair and on the floor, his fits has ceased.

Getting into position, I lock my hands together and press down on his chest, 30 times just like we did in training.

“Emery, once I count to 30 I need you to tip his head back and blow two big breaths into his mouth okay.”

“And what do I do?”

“Stay the fuck over there, I doubt he’d want your help at this point,” Emery yelled.

We do five sets of 30 compressions. The CPR forces out some of the water but Lorenzo is still unconscious.

“Why isn’t it working?” Emery wails.

“Em-“

“Why are you stopping, keep going.”

“Stop.”

Pushing against my chest, Emery restarts CPR.

“The lungs are about 9 inches in height, that's a little under a foot.”

“Nobody cares, just fucking help me.”

“The pitcher that Lynn poured over his face looked to be about 64 ounces and she did it twice. That was enough water to fill his lungs three times over.”

“We can do it, I know we can,” she croaked.

“There's no amount of CPR that can expel that much water. And his lungs are so heavy they’re actively swelling as we speak.”

“We won’t know unless we try Jason, you get the mouth and I’ll get the chest.”

“Blowing air into his already expanding lungs won't help Emery.”

“Am I supposed to just watch him die then?” she chided. “Isn’t there a way to drain it?”

“I'm no doctor and neither do we have the tools or the sterile space to do that.”

“Fuck a sterile space!”

“Not only would you infect him but stabbing anything in his chest to ‘drain it’ will only make him bleed out. We would need a very specific and precise needle.”

“No, we can do it,” she answered, starting the compressions again.

The splattering of liquids on the floor lets me know that Lynn has just emptied the contents of her stomach, but I'm in no mood to comfort.

“The body works in 3’s. Three days without water, three weeks without food, and three minutes without air. It’s been about seven now.”

“Shut up.”

“Lorenzo’s lungs are so heavy they’ve probably detached from his windpipe. That, coupled with no oxygen to his brain…at least he was unconscious before it happened.

“Jason either you help me or you leave,” Emery threatened, fat teardrops rolling down her face in droves.

There’s five stages of grief and they’re at the first one. Back against the furniture, I hold my head in my hands, listening to sugars light whimpers and Emery's ragged breathing.

She tires herself out with compressions, fists flying to his chest, pleading for him to wake up. Hands clutched over her ears, sugar rocks back and forth, mumbling out apologies, expletives, and frustrations; guilt no doubt eating her alive.

Hands dropping to my pocket, I rummage around for anything I can chew on, ready to get out of here and never see these people again. Fingers slipping free with the peppermint goodness, I unwrap it and pop it in my mouth.

Some minutes pass by, how many I don't know and the night grows quiet. As tragic as it’s been for everyone, this minute's peace brings about a small sense of tranquility. There’s the occasional sniffle and I watch as the sky transitions from pitch black to a pale pink, the telltale sign of the sun about to rise.

“At least his parents will be home soon right?” sugar questions.

“Yep, right in time enough to see their only son sprawled out on the floor and his friends scattered across the property. So much for the new owners, their home just turned into a crime scene.”

“Do you have any more gum?” Emery asked, voice sore from crying.

Tossing it in her direction, she catches it, face upturned once she removes the wrapper.

“Eww, Jason what the fuck, who the hell buys brown gum? What kind of flavor even is this?”

“It's peppermint,” I answered, popping a bubble.

“Still weird, I haven’t seen this shit since-“

The words die on her tongue. She looks up to me, revelation fresh on her features, which slowly etches into panic, as a sinister grin makes its way onto mine.

#Emmy Writes #Emmy Tries #Halloween Kills #Halloween Series #Halloween #Hills and Valleys #Original Story and Characters #Horror #the big fucking reveal #did you guess it right?#have you known all along?#tell me your thoughts

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solarpunkpresentspodcast · 2 months

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Questioning the “survival” narrative

After studying Cold-War, Canadian post-apocalyptic science fiction, I have decided that I don’t want to survive the post-apocalypse.

Or at least, I don’t want to do what it takes to survive. Not according to the tenets of the classic non-solarpunk sci-fi narrative, that is.

Hear me out: I’m all about making a better future according to the values of solarpunk. I choose to focus on and pay attention to the actions that are taking society towards a radically just and sustainable world, that sow the seeds of a brighter future by the dim light of the present. It helps me cope with the fact that it’s pretty dark out there right now. It helps me keep the shadows away from my soul; they might have slipped into the crevices of my brain, but solarpunk helps me to keep my heart clear. Mostly.

Some would say we’re living through an apocalypse. Some would argue that our society (as with many cultures around the globe) already experienced an apocalypse and is living in the aftermath, though many people are unaware of it. Because this apocalypse was of the revelation sort, many of us don’t have the ability to recognize the violence that has been done to us. The violence that we have done to ourselves. The violence that we now embody.

Have you read (non-solarpunk) post-apocalyptic novels? Have you watched the movies? What tends to happen to the characters? What do they do to survive? How do they make their way in this changed world, which is often more brutal?

Now think about those stories again, and this time think about the supporting characters: the young, the assigned-female, the gender-non-conforming, the racialized humans. In the dominant science fiction narrative of the post-apocalypse, what happens to those characters? What do they do to survive? How do they make their way in this changed world, which is often more brutal?

I’m already seeing some of the tropes coalescing irl, and I don’t like it. I’m thinking specifically of two that have made the jump from (science) fiction to real life - the assigned-female humans who take on the violence and domination of the patriarchy, proving that they are “one of the boys” and can hold their own in a fight (whether verbal or physical), and the assigned-female humans who escape into traditionalism, trading in freedoms for the assurance of economic, social, and/or physical safety from the violence of other humans (usually assumed to be the assigned-male ones).

These aren’t great options. They also are based in an understanding of the way that humans work that is faulty, that is perverse, that assumes violence is the answer even before posing the question, that thinks that obviously people will turn to fighting, chaos, and ruination as soon as the enforcement of civil law is taken away.

Have you heard the references to nature, red in tooth and claw? To how life is nasty, brutish, and short? Life is pain, anyone who tries to tell you different is selling something? Who killed the world? These make up the background chorus of post-apocalyptic narratives in my mind; pop culture has thoroughly commodified my imagination and thus is an informing factor of my thoughts and actions. I suspect this is the case for many.

It’s appealing, to rest the axioms of irl human behaviour on the literal worst way that we can treat each other and our selves. It’s so easy, to choose the violent way out. To give in to our base emotions, to let negative affects overwhelm us and carry us along in their flood, consequences be damned. When our adrenaline is up, the energy necessary to carry out terrible things is at most humans’ fingertips, and it’s not a difficult thing to unleash.

(I say this as an average-height, disabled ciswoman who is super out of shape. I’m not going to be beating anyone up physically any time soon because I am angry. But could I bully? Could I viciously tear down my conversational partner if I believe them to be an opponent? Could I make them feel awful? Yeah, probably. Sometimes, it’s hard not to cut someone down verbally, whether in real life or on social media or an anonymous messaging board. You know of what I speak, reader.)

Post-apocalyptic fiction that is gritty, that is dark, that is “realistic” - these stories assume that, in both fiction AND real life, humans are inherently lazy. Well, all humans except for our noble protagonists who, for some reason, have the fortitude and willpower to overcome this urge to easy violence in order to … do whatever it is that merits the win condition for the story medium they find themselves in, I suppose. Conversely, if we’re following an anti-hero, we may gleefully delight in their giving in to their urges to dominate others, as it reaffirms to us that even the most relatable of people can be cut down, brought low enough that their humanity no longer provides a constraining, conscientious barrier to violence.

Is the post-apocalyptic setting that operates according to these rules a fun one to romp around in fiction? Heck yes! Do I want to live there full-time? Hell, no.

I don’t want to continue to survive in a world where the dominant consensual hallucination has agreed that humans operate according to these narratives of lack, meanness, violence, scarcity. I don’t want mine to be a bare life. I don’t want to be forced to operate according to kill-or-be-killed, survival of the fittest, power-struggle logic that operates strictly in punitive hierarchies. So many of our post-apocalyptic settings demand this sort of action from characters, scripting violence and domination into their interactions.

I am a firm believer in the fact that fiction influences us in a myriad of ways - some overt, some so subtle we cannot even recognize them until they are pointed out to us. The dominant imagination of the post-apocalypse has been beholden to these non-solarpunk stories for so long that fiction is starting to bleed over into reality. And survival is not enough* - it was never enough to begin with, and it’s really not enough now. Instead of imagining humans surviving, let us imagine all beings thriving. Solarpunk stories, in my opinion, do that very well. Is it unrealistic to thrive in the wake of disaster, or to make the best of a bad situation? Is it naïve to hope that there is more to life than a continuous power struggle, only temporarily driven under the surface of consciousness by the strictures of society, but ready to reassert itself the minute something happens to upend that society? I sure hope not.

I want that negative version of the post-apocalypse to stay in the world of fiction, safely, where it cannot twist the way that we think of others, the way that we think of our selves. Instead, I hope we invest more in real life examples of communities coming together in the aftermath of disaster, like the examples in Rebecca Solnit’s A Paradise Built in Hell. Like I experienced in Japan after 3/11. All humans do not naturally react to the misfortune of others with indifference, with violence, with destructiveness, but many react with compassion, empathy, and solidarity. I would say, based on this, that the non-solarpunk post-apocalyptic setting is the exception, not the rule.

As I was writing, I was thinking of an anecdote about anthropologist Margaret Mead, who purportedly claimed during a lecture that the earliest sign of “civilization” was not tools, nor weapons, nor pots, but a healed femur. Ira Byock describes how

“Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

This is a really nice anecdote, a wonderful sentiment, and something that points toward a truth, to me; however, that anecdote is very contested, and cannot be attributed to Mead at all. I was surprised to find this out, but even more intrigued by the critique put forward by anthropologist and physician Gideon Lasko. Lasko, writing for Sapiens in 2012, called out the inherent anthropocentrism of the anecdote, asking if medicine, healing, and helping others can really be thought to only be exclusive to Homo sapiens. He goes on to talk about how, not only are healed bones found in many species across the animal kingdom, but evidence shows that many species like chimpanzees, elephants, and wolves practice some form of self-medication and care for wounded members of their group.

This illustration points out rather succinctly that the non-solarpunk default of “survival” is a human construction, not the inherent truth of being “civilized” - which is a super problematic concept in and of itself - or indeed “human”. The dichotomy that the negative version of the post-apocalypse draws between civilized/uncivilized, human/animal, man/woman, etc is a hierarchy that is too often perpetuated in non-solarpunk science fiction stories, especially in those narratives we would consider classics of the genre. I’m looking at you, “Farnham’s Freehold.”**

It is useful to be able to take what we have been taught to be / passively absorbed from cultural worldview as a fundamental truth of nature (that survival is a struggle that continues up through Maslow’s hierarchy of needs past the first level) and carefully detach it from the other assumptions that make up our worldviews and look at it from all angles, recognizing what is true, and what is a result of invention. These ideas didn’t just come from nowhere.

So I return to my original statement. I don’t want to survive in a post-apocalyptic setting that operates according to the negative, binaristic logic that dictates that all interaction between humans is necessarily violent. I don’t want to struggle for power. I don’t want to be a victim. I can see my role, and it looks grim. I would rather just nope out of the situation entirely. There’s a reason I don’t read/watch most sci-fi post-apocalypse media. Solarpunk gives me an alternative, something that assumes people will act with care for others, with respect for their selves and nature, with good intentions despite the fact that we’re already in hell.*** I don’t think, if the world were solarpunk, I would need to want to survive, because the philosophical groundwork would already have been laid to enable me to thrive.

— *I’m not referencing Star Trek, I’m referencing Station Eleven, which references Star Trek. **Some narratives (especially in feminist, post-colonial, and more contemporary narratives) invoke this hierarchy precisely to critique its irruption in the present day, and point out how false a narrative it is. I am not talking about these cases. ***Apparently the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but if you’re already there, can you just take the road made of good intentions back out of it? I don’t see why not, since metaphors are also malleable.

#philosophy #science fiction #survival

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sublimeobservationarcade · 8 months

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Australians Are Really Dumb

Australians are really dumb if you go by their behaviour over the last 20 years. They have bought the whole anti-union narrative spruiked by conservative politicians like John Howard, Tony Abbott, Scott Morrison and their ilk. These guys demonised and attempted to criminalise unionists and their ALP mates. The whole anti-Bill Shorten campaign painted Bill as some union crook – for which there was no real evidence. Despite this voters bought it hook, line and sinker. Now, we are where we find ourselves with record low wage growth over decades. Unions stripped of power by laws. Labour hire companies ripping off workers. Workers with bugger all rights. Big companies lording it over little workers with no bargaining power.

Shabby Australians Deserve Qantas

Qantas has finally been pulled up by the High Court of Australia – after the unions took them on and fought their appeal against the wrongful dismissal of 1, 700 baggage handlers during the Covid pandemic. Australians didn’t stand up to Qantas, the Coalition government backed them with billions of tax payer’s money, whilst Virgin went down the gurgler. Australians have become pretty shabby people, sitting back and watching workers being shafted by Corporate Australia and not saying boo.

Alan Joyce has been an absolute disgrace, as Qantas CEO for years and years. Under his leadership this once great company has become a vampire for shareholders. Sucking the life out of long serving staff and treating its customers like shit. “ "It now stands their actions against these Qantas families as the largest sacking in Australian corporate history that has been found to be illegal," Transport Workers' Union national secretary, Michael Kaine said in the minutes after the landmark verdict was handed down. "These workers have been put through hell. Their families have been put through hell. Their lives have been dislocated, some of them forever … that's the consequence of this illegal decision.” - (https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-09-14/qantas-workers-high-court-illegally-sacked-twu-compensation-bill/102848854)

Qantas flying off with your money

Joyce Took Australia On A Joy Ride At Our Expense

Australians are only just waking up to the litany of unfair and low life actions taken by the airline’s management and board. Joyce has walked away with $24 million in bonuses, after destroying the culture and reputation of a once mighty business and brand. Australians and Qantas shareholders should hang their heads in shame really. We all sat back and watched the destruction of people’s lives and livelihoods. What for? All for money, of course. We have very few standards of morality left in this nation, especially after a decade of Coalition governments under the guise of liars like Morrison and leering scumbags like Abbott.

Dirty Deeds Done In Australia Think about Robodebt and the disgraceful and unlawful scheme of these same jokers. Vulnerable people, wrongly accused of owing thousands of dollars, killed themselves. Ponder on the billions of dollars going to companies like PwC and KPMG, who have been taking the Australian people for a very expensive ride. These are Coalition initiatives and trends massaged and mined for every penny possible. Insider mates getting all the plumb jobs and big government contracts without the normal scrutiny that the public service would be under. Opaque transparency in shady town. Stuart Robert and Alan Tudge have scarpered already to avoid taking any responsibility. Marise Payne has likewise ducked out of the building, just in case people are actually held accountable. I would not hold your breath, however. Australia is a white collar crime and corruption Mecca. Only poor and powerless people get prosecuted and go to prison.

Neoliberal champions who led us where we find ourselves - ripped off by our own economy! Governments Need To Get Back In The Game Of Building Things Will Australians awake from their slumber and pay attention to WTF is going on? Neoliberalism still haunts the halls of power and politics, despite having delivered zero results for the majority of us. The ALP needs to get its head out of its arse and stop playing it safe. The ALP still sucks on the teat of neoliberalist economic beliefs. The housing crisis is a direct result of government neglect in this regard. The market will not take care of everything – that is complete bullshit. Pull your finger out Albo! The housing fund is a cocka-doodle crock of monetary madness. We need governments to get back in the game of building infrastructure – like houses where the working poor can live. It is an emergency and the market is not going to magic up a shit load of social housing.

Richard Goyder Must Go Goyder must go, as he has been the enabler in the whole Alan Joyce disaster. Qantas has been accused by the ACCC of selling seats to 10, 000 customers, which had already been cancelled. This could cost the airline a fine of $250 million. Australian must get back to holding Corporate Australia accountable for its actions. The LNP anything goes days are over. Australians would be best served to remember who has led this trashing of our standards. John Howard used to boast about making us all shareholders. Well, the vast majority of Australians are not shareholders but we have been screwed by Corporate Australia. High prices and rising inflation have been caused by a profit-price-spiral. Record profits have been announced by Qantas and the banks. The duopolies and oligopolies means that they can set the prices in most markets. The ACCC has failed us in terms of protecting competition. Our governments have been asleep at the wheel or looking the other way on the back of grift and graft. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQKnazRIEc8 Australians Are Not What They Used To Be Australians are only really arcing up right now because airfares are really expensive. Self-centred shabby Aussies did bugger all when Joyce was sacking airline staff left, right and centre. Neoliberal economics has pervaded the leadership of our nation and gutted things like mateship and social justice. People are just out for what they can get. Scumbags are the new normal downunder. You know unions have done a lot for this country over the journey. Apart from protecting the basic rights of workers, they have been involved in preserving things like our historical buildings, anti-apartheid campaigns against South Africa, fighting for equal pay for Australian women, and getting equal pay for Indigenous workers on cattle stations. “In January 1965 the North Australian Workers’ Union lodged an application with the Arbitration Commission to delete the provision of the award covering workers at cattle stations that prevented Indigenous workers from gaining equal rights. A campaign of public pressure in support of the claim for wage equality was launched across the country. The Cattle Producers Council submitted a series of racist arguments to the Commission, degrading the contribution of Indigenous workers to the industry. In March 1966 the commission handed down its decision in favour of equal wages – but in a racist insult to Indigenous workers, deferred this equality until December 1968. Indigenous pastoral workers took action, demanding equality immediately. “ - (https://www.actu.org.au/about-the-actu/history-of-australian-unions) If you have ever lived or spent some time in regional Australia you will well know the heightened level of racism in these communities. Not everyone, of course, but far more blatant expressions of racism than in the city are frequently voiced. You have to ask yourself why is Queensland, especially in the regional parts so racist and anti-union? A history of blackbirding – the indented servitude or enslavement of First Nations people – exists there. The current folk are the descendants of such people. The Lutheran German migrants and other European migrants are well known to be anti-union on the basis of their experiences in their old countries. They hand these attitudes down to their progeny for better or worse. Interestingly the polls predict that Queensland and Tasmania will be bastions for the No vote in the October referendum on the voice to parliament for Indigenous Australians. Two states where massacres of First Nations people were prominent in our history. Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of Money Matters: Navigating Credit, Debt, and Financial Freedom. ©WordsForWeb

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#AlanJoyce #Australia #BillShorten #CorporateAustralia #JohnHowrad #LNP #moralfailure #neoliberalism #politics #Qantas #TonyAbbott #unions

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thejosh1980 · 1 year

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In my life, I've loved them all

Last night I met up with 2 friends.

We've known each other since 1992, so that's about 35 years. We spent 6 years together at school, and while the other 2 kept in close contact after high school, I disappeared for a few years to Europe. I really only kept face to face contact with one of the them on my visits back home.

We caught up for dinner, back in my ol' stompin' ground of Brunz, the other 2 grew up in nearby Mullum.

There were a few long lost memories discussed, a few trials and tribulations revealed but really most of the discussion was around our journeys with our relationships and our own mental health, where we were, and where we are at now.

We all shared. It was an evening of being vulnerable, honest, and open. There were new learnings as we listened to each other, quietly contemplating without judgement.

Only one of us still has their childhood home in the family, and only one of us doesn't have children. One of us has divorced parents, the other two, their parents are still together.

Two of us now know (some of) the beginnings, the trauma, or experiences, that triggered the development of some damaging lifelong beliefs and behaviours, while one of us is still at the beginning of exploration. We all agree want to learn more about these past experiences.

2 of us have strong, stable, caring, and supportive partners, one of us is going through a separation from a long toxic marriage that left them lost and drained, only now starting to find themselves and experiencing joy again. One of us is on their 2nd marriage.

One of us presented calm amid a storm of self doubt, pain, and hurt, providing care and concern for the others. One of us is happy to finally have a mental health diagnosis that allows a name, a label with instructions, to the noise in their head. One of us is still trying to find out their diagnosis, and the root cause of the values and beliefs that is holding them back.

One of us has had incredible learnings, revelations, and self growth in the past 6 months, more than in their previous 42 years, while one of us feels like they haven't learnt enough or come far enough in their knowledge, skills, and behaviour even though they have worked on themselves on a daily basis for many many years.

2 of us have learnt to forgive ourselves, 1 of us struggles to treat themself as well as they treat others.

The 2 who have children, are great parents, and didn't spend the night comparing notes on baby wipes, but were people in their own right, with their own story, emotions, and learnings.

2 of us are musicians, yet we didn't even mention playing last night, one of us is in the church, yet faith didn't pop up in the discussion.

All of us have close relationships, who are experiencing their own mental health journey. All of those relationships are different and affected us in different ways over the years. We focused on ourselves and learning, and also on those close to us and how to support them.

Many of our journeys and experiences have taken us down similar paths, that is, similar scenarios but unique to ourselves. And some of those experiences were nothing like what the others experienced.

We all have learnt that it's not the experience itself, but the interpretation of that experience, that has had the biggest impact on our lives and where the biggest personal growth can be found.

Here we were, 31 years since graduation, sharing our stories and learnings with a focus on our mental health and personal growth, realising we have been walking a similar path together, long distance.

We've all equally recognized the benefit of self-growth, exploration, and learning and coming together to share our experiences. A master class in self-growth.

A moment of compassion, love and understanding.

They say hindsight is 20-20, the experiences we shared last night showed us that the challenges we have faced over the years have been moments to grow from, and we are all better people for those experiences. Although at the time those moments were traumatic and challenging, they've helped lead us to where we are now, at the point of growth and understanding.

If someone had said to me in my 20s I'd be having these types of conversations in the future, I'd probably have laughed at them.

Talk about adulting!

I love you guys, thanks for last night.

Thanks for reading,

Josh

#friendships #personal growth #bestfriends #vulnerability #connection

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bowerywilliam · 1 year

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I am not going to lie but the way everyone has treated the break up has been pretty eye opening and it includes your blog too. I am just appalled that how people with Taylor pfps have treated Taylor and Joe. So many fandom blogs are absolutely wilding. I get it when fans or people want to hold people in power accountable but when do we hold ourselves too? Anytime a news breaks everyone on the internet has an opinion and the funny thing is those reactions often end up on actual news. I am kind of struggling with the internet culture. Why was the reaction to them breaking up a need of trash joe or the gates of the most vile sexist borderline sexual assault words being uttered for a woman. How is this okay? Taylor brings out the worst in people. Its not surprising but to see the 2010s sexist narrative play out again after I as an artist put out 3 and a half hour shows I would loose it.

To see a powerful woman treated by the industry and media being treated this way publically I shudder to think how it is off the cameras and she probably hears all of it.

Fans of Taylor Swift have gone on to make her private leaked pics viral with it ending up on even update pages. I think people forgot the hacked I phone scandal and the impact it had on celebrities. Jen law has a pretty heartbreaking interview about it. The Stans of other artists have made it a point to make the most gross of edits calling her a whore. I am going to spare you the details but it makes resent other artists too who never get the same deservedly Taylor does for her insane fanbase.

You have narrowed it all on Taylor fans too whereas every single space out of swiftie space is sympathetic to him. Taylor is getting the absolute lowest of lows mysogynist treatment.

the slave owner twitter account is literally trash they even make fun of plus size pepe and call her an Oscar slut. So it was definitely cherry picking.

It has made me realize that her fans are living a life through Taylor Swift. The record breaking machine and they dgaf about taylor. Anyone including her who fucks up this programming is fair game to be belittled.

Not one person had this realisation treating joe like this caused pain to both of them. Not one brain cell was activated their behaviour ended one of the most important things in their life. And they are completely back to bring the best products for our entertainment as they drown themselves in work. They both will find someone else but may not the same connection they had with each other.

There has to he a discussion how we treat someone's pain so carelessly in the internet. A divorce without legal papers was the perfect opportunity for the internet to rejoice in someone's pain

Idk I would completely be wrecked if my fears of loosing the one came true.To have every city welcoming me and putting on a show for a million people every week and to come back to empty hotel rooms. Physically exhausting myself to the point I don't get thoughts and feelings. For Joe to have his partner's biggest insecurity come true because of him the guilt on top of everything will be soul crushing.

Sorry I got carried away but I have been struggling with how we have treated both of them but this is also a goodbye.I will always tune to her music and his films. Both of them are the biggest losers in this. We can't choose especially when they are still in love. I hope atleast my boy will be eventually free from this and may Taylor one day come to a point where people start treating as a human being not just a doll.

#posting this without comment because it feels like something you needed to get out of your chest to someone #but I don't want to carry it with me so #let's all take this like you screaming into the void but i agree with you in a lot of things

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tasmiq · 9 months

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Jumu'ah Khuthbah: 11 August 2023

We had another rich week of learning within our Tariqa (spiritual school), which painted uncertainty regarding our main spiritual leader's health ... only to prove the miracle of prayer in activating Allah's healing!

Moreover, as we embark on our shared journey with the beautiful Leo ... we yearn our Nabi SAW's loving patience with cats by drawing on the same magnetic arena of dua'a (prayers). Bismillah...

Ya Muqtadir Ya Qadir Ya Nafi (Yearning Allah's ability to craft goodness)

Ya Wadud Ya Salaam Ya Jami Ya Nafi (where we are craving Allah's love, peace, and unity in that goodness)

Shukran Ya Allah (and ultimately with divine gratitude for increasing our family with this beautiful furball)

#1. Shaykh Nishaat began streaming haqq (spiritual truth) during our weekly congregational Zikr Sohbet (spiritual conversation), that we were reminded about the ominous health scare being faced by Shaykh Taner. He maintained calm and focused on talking about how in Sufism, the focus is on the actions of the spiritual heart. We have to look beyond our outer actions and what can actually be seen. The focus is more on the inner, which is emphasised by the verses of the Qur'an. Therefore, for anyone on the Sufi path, we have to look at our inner actions and what our niyaat (intention) is.

As sincere seekers, we should be focusing on ourselves and not worry about others because it won't help us but add stress, frustration, and annoyance as ready reactions. More productive aids would help to bring us closer to Allah by bringing us into our own good; behaviour, actions, and adhab (manners).

#2. He continued where, as Sufis, we need to be aware of what our Nabi SAW identified as our greatest jihad (a struggle or battle against an enemy force) - but which is actually within ourselves! It is the greatest battle than the outer version against nations or people that are actually easier. The greatest jihad against ourselves is met every day and moment of our lives.

Thus, we have to be aware of our relationship with our Creator over others. We have to be aware that we can account for every moment that we breathe in this world and how we treat all of Allah’s creation beyond fellow human beings. We must, therefore, remember the action of the heart, are we enacting with a pure niyaat (intention), and is our heart clean?! Will we be able to justify our actions in front of Allah? We have to know the reasons that we are enacting what we are ... we are not the judges of each other. We should focus on our own hearts by examining our niyaat, time and time again, and it will reflect our individual relationship with Allah.

Allah knows what is in our hearts if we constantly ask ourselves; is this pleasing to Allah, or that He removes that which prevents us from getting closer to Him. When we respond negatively; it is because of our nafs (ego / lower-self), which is stronger! It means that we have to work on it because our Prophet SAW identified it as the greatest jihad.

#3. After a nerve-wracking delay, a medically-drunk Shaykh Taner appeared, and he poignantly wanted to talk about our fear of death. We are complex beings with different personalities, and doctors realise this when knowledge has to be accumulated. For instance, where Shaykh Taner experienced all the negative side effects to a new form of medication recommended to control his cholesterol. Most of our lives are stupidly passed by, and we have about twenty years of quality life spent. So the fear of death can be dealt with in two ways, where we don't realise it, or we face death in every moment of our lives. Most of us are afraid of death because it is embedded in us, with our observations. Fear of death can be overcome by our education through our connection, and the Qur'an was identified as an important factor!

Allah says everyone is going to live the experience of death, which was an intense reality for me, what with being raised out of two-month coma, Ya Shakur (Divine gratitude!). Death is the separation of our soul from the body. Before we die, information is downloaded from our brains into our souls. Then, we are in the soul as an energetic form that is free of the processes of death. Most poignantly, Anne reported that after she complied with a mureed's (follower) request to let us all know that Shaykh Taner was meant to face a surgical procedure ... In the X-ray scans, there was not a single stone found in his gallbladder, which Anne could only attribute to the flood of dua'a (prayers) coming from us, his students.

This was the grateful but whimsical message we received from our Shaykh Taner:

Salams, thank you for your prayers, it works very well half the time. Please repeat.

#4. Anne then reflected medically sobering haqq (spiritual truths), where when we are thinking about who and what we are; we have to be aware of our domain, and life or death as Allah's domain! Our domain is surrender so that we can experience Allah to our full capacity. If we are lucky and blessed to be Allah's khalifa (vicegerant or representative), we have realised what Allah has created us for. What that means is that being Allah's khalifa will be different for each of us. It is because Allah wanted each of us as unique beings, and that may make us feel alone and misunderstood.

Another supposition is that we will be completed by our friends or marriages, but our completeness in life will be achieved when we fulfill our purpose in life 100%, which comes through with our relationship with Allah! It will not come from outside but from within our hearts, when our brains have completely surrendered to complete connection. It's okay to listen to other people's stories as the lessons are given to us through Qur'anic stories. This is how we learn, but we are here to live our individual story.

We have spiritual support from our Pirs (spiritual guides) and physical support in this world, with Allah as our ultimate supporter. We notice it when we are in a difficult situation and help comes from nowhere, so the question remains: Are we in line with and in connection to Allah? Suppositions and expectations shouldn't go into either the front pack or our backpack of knowledge acquisition. When we meet knowledge, we use these packs accordingly, but our suppositions and expectations don't belong in us! We must seek whatever gives us peace in floating in Allah's sea in our loving connection to Him.

#5. Lastly, we sadly discovered that this is a world without the bright mind and soul of Irish; folk rock, singer-songwriter, Sinead O'Connor. In her last living years, she even proclaimed that she identifies herself as a Sufi Muslim, Subhana'Allah! She may well be judged for her mental illnesses and being a social misfit, as most of us Sufis are anyway! However, her spiritual testimonial was uplifting...

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As can be seen below, her younger self had been ever-critical of mainstream culture, and her candour for being authentic, courageous! At the end of her lifelong search for haqq (spiritual truth), she was brought to the doorstep of Allah through Sufism. Another legend of a musician and convert to Islam, Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens), had this to say about her passing and Ameen to his dua'a:

"Sad to hear of the passing of sister Shuhada Sadaqat, also known as Sinead O'Connor. She was a tender soul, may God, Most Merciful, grant her everlasting peace. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon (We come from Allah and to Allah is our eventual return),"

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In conclusion, how privileged are we to live in a world with our Shaykh Taner. Including a world where haqq (spiritual truth) has been proclaimed by vastly different beings and former secularists in the former Sinead O'Connor and Cat Stevens. Allah bless their souls eternally for following His haqq with calculated reasoning:

Ya Alim Ya Hakim Ya Haseeb Ya Haqq Ya Rashid

Ya Salaam (and please Allah, adorn them with peace)

It is time for your Abbu's Arabic Khuthbah, bismillah...

#Youtube

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cosmicangel888 · 10 months

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3D - 5D Soul Evolutionary Growth IS EVERYTHING ~ Ignorance Is NOT Bliss

We are at the most profound crucible within all creational era's for humanity ~

In which all of our offerings, teachings, and the masters before me, have offered the importance of our first 2 laws, and how crucial they are to basic human survival, entry into Oneness & any, All realms beyond the 3D we have read, been, and created as individuals, and collectives;

The mere ignorance of the general population and its level of normalcy it has subjected itself to, allowed to occur, simply sat by and done nothing, will be its own downfall; and not until grand occurrences happen, to home structures, the waters disappearing will then every soul see how barren attitudes of life, attitudes of the nurturance, the sustenance of what gives life life; will shake every persons soul to new action; and it is in the heavenly decree and order what occurs and the collective choice - the disrespect of the DF, all life outside DM has been on its tipping point for many decades, and this past cycle of raping, pillaging, and disrespect by those that were sent as characters with deeper and higher wisdoms, remained in sleepy arrogance of allowing all to be servants and non-action to the foundations of hell created through deceit, manipulation, harbouring demons rather than processing through such - the immaturity of such behaviour, actions, will be of only dire response ~

Remember dear ones, all is energy - we are universal omni-present beings, and what we emulate as a collective is our fate;

There are those of us, that are sent specifically for the purposes of collective design; to take on archetypal lessons, energies, to be the barometer of where we are at in our evolutionary scale of advancement; in a multi-dimensional manner, will we be offered into councils and educations, and learning systems of the higher realms, will we be a part of collectives of beings that help us expand ourselves evolutionarily or will it be contained in 3D oligarchy, misogyny and stagnant ways of dominance and control?

Every day is a test for our evolution - and some of us are brought to play characters to see how unified are we able to work, to heal, to maintain our planet - God has offered us this planet; when we create and treat one another, the raping and sexing of children, the non-care of gardens, metaphorically, and otherwise; what Gaia, Terra, the Divine Feminine represent; it is a profound part of the equation that is taken out of the E=Mc2 /

When you take the energy, the respect, the seed, the aspect of DF out of the life and co-creational part of existences, entire multi-verses feel such arrogance and so too the entirety is forever changed;

Eons of being subjugated in the horrendous ways that we have been, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and seen, known, represented in the deplorable ways, with as little as a spec of consideration upon the individual, or collective to change, humble, or bring into balance; all life is lost

How would the world look for instance without DF? Ask yourself this and ponder, think?

How would the body move through any experience without DF energy and intuitiveness, care, reproach to manifest the care, gentleness, kindness, sustenance and how would children grow to be; as the ones here already for you cannot have children without DF, unless you choose to grow all in test tubes, which is something that those like #Epstein, and the ignorant that choose power, ego, control, self indulgence over going within and healing the soul, spirit, inner child;

How would the world look within DF; anywhere, everywhere?

The misogynists of the planet; the ones that feel raping is ok? Those taking part in gang-raping for ritual and to feed a false sense of ego; truly the wounding of who you are at a soul level; to take that energy upon another, and raping their most sacred energy again, again, and feel it is normal behaviour -

When one does any kind of rape; land, animal, child, DF; it is a soul wound individually, collective; for we are all one; and that is energy and that energy even for masters like myself, that come as collective vessels to transmute, to understand, to be the epidemiologist for collective learning, collective growth; collective co-creative healing; and in every situation, in every instance, we are thrown battles at some level for simply being so?

Even the greatest master, offered to me years ago; 'Joanna, you do not have to transmute what is not yours' ~ the work, the loving intent, the loving discerning, the observations, the study, the reflections and the deep psyche knowing that I have as a multi-verse being, to help and to assist in bettering humanity, Gaia, and all life; has been thrown to the dirt as if I was nothing; in representation of all worlds for the DF; a sacred child of the Sun; the seed of all life, and though stating this for over 15 years, and many of my loyal clients know of this in me, and why they remain loyal and steadfast clients; however the world, due to its superficial addictions, the ego suppressions of the spirit, of pure honouring balance, and of the growing up of the forgotten and raped children, the forgotten and ignored children;

............I say this with great pause; ' there is an imbalance dear lighted ones, and daily we come to awaken, daily we come to inspire and uplift, and we are now seeing the shift of planets, and vibrations and there is little 'time' left for those that choose arrogance to life, arrogance to the balance of our multi-verse, the balance to all that is precious, inner wounding = outer wounding, and it will be seen everywhere in our social, matter world;

The Divine Feminine is no more offering her essence to heal, to be the secondary post to constant raping, disregard, and dis-enablement to what is pure evolutionary wisdom that will only allow for any evolution; and it is thrown gang-raping of vibrational proportions to feed the gluttonous amounts of arrogance of the immature souls refusing to heal, to grow, to take accountability from every home, and every facet of our reality - and only each can save themselves at this point;

The testing, the times of offering opportunities are up, and the end game is now in motion; worlds will shift out to ensure that those choosing ignorance and abhorrence to soul growth, soul wisdoms, the oneness and sanctity and sacredness of life will be on an earth of such, and will see its effects;

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those that choose to play in gangs, corruption of any, all kinds, those that choose to daily, hourly not reflect on the oneness of ones harmful, disregarding choices, behaviour to another -

those that use and abuse power, title, resources for control and dominance in any way; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically

those that choose to use power, dominance and energy to block, stalk, spy monitors, abuse the basic human spirited respect, interfering in anyones path, ON ANY LEVEL will be held on the earth moving from 5D earth

those that choose disrespect of trafficking, sex and otherwise, materials, brutal harm to animals for ignorance to rather grow and cultivate the land as we did and have always done in balance and respect; China in some of the most disconnected animals rights abuses; could use wisdoms and space, land for higher consciousness living, and symbiosis - all is our platform and lesson for higher vibrational living -

The abuse of airspace, nuclear and country to country control, dominance games, billions spent on warfare, and tactics of such; all will be a part of the earth - it is all energy that will shift to lower de-evolved 3D earth - the lack of care, responsibility, accountability and the tests are everywhere from spirit -

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There simply has not been enough awakening from the ego fog, the spell work, the manipulations of the wounded that can make it otherwise - to win, to get, to take, to be entitled to energy, clout, name or game, gain; it is so heavy and no master will be treated the way I have been ever again -

I was a test dear ones, sent here to test humanity - did we deserve a divine and blessed planet of life, sacredness and can we be the ambassadors of such? Will we learn, grow, come together, and unify over petty issues of having, seeming, taking, being; superficial low vibrational immaturity the refusal to grow as a soul - life has been meaningless - how you treat your own body - what and how you are have been and how honouring are you for change, and what is your choice to be engaged;

Life is not a joke, this planet, the air; if taken tomorrow; all were given 48 hours; how many would sit and love, be unified, pray in love, and how many would scavenge the stores for their last few items to die with?

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All is energy and what you do, not do, not evolve; affects the all - it is energy and evolution - all affects all and why God places masters before you - to test your character and truth of who you are for your own placement within creation and your ability to transcend hate - separation - how you treat everyone regardless of title, money, colour, belief - do you get it?

What if the Christ was a woman? What if the return of the Christ was a woman? What beliefs are held within you, the collective, our systems,, our governments in which there is zero sacred honour, divine reflection of who we each are DF is seen as servants, invisible and unimportant - and so too will that earth be;

What if God wanted all to be tested in your hearts - not only did Jesus go through what He did; for humanity and our lessons of soul growth and unity - but would it not make sense; the son of God, to be followed by the Daughter of God? With equal and deep soul lessons for the end of days redemption or not?

All get to choose. I am offering what God is; a story of experience of energies, of knowings, for purity of truth in reflection - raping our world of DF in any and all ways; is not comfortable to face but it must - to heal, to bring into unity - all choose.

There is zero - representation of sacredness to the DF done at a global, collective level - zero done for the sacred child, zero done in offering of honour to the elders; shamans of past, there is nothing we have today in any way where any of these groups are honoured, valued, and respected and bowed to - none can see, know, go to see, be with, create sacred ritual with; there is no where - and this is not in a church - churches from day one has been misogynistic intentions and none had reference to, designed by, nor resurrected of the DF;

The selfish gain and tricks for someone to mess and fuck with someone sacred energy centers, to close, veil, over 3rd eye to forget the damage they did, to not see God, that which brings peace for the entire collective;

Dear controlling ones, arrogant domineering ones, the ones doing all they can to control a story, a false narrative, another - you forget dear ones, I am a prophet for the collective DF, child and when you do such raping to the master - so too is it done to the collective - and what earth will you live on without life? without water, love care nourishment -

When you no longer care about children being raped in their own homes, trafficked for the knowing adult that hides their actions and behaviours why the underground - is underground - you cannot hide dear ones -

When such gangs, groups, do what they do for the glory of money, taking, selfish gain and not advance as a soul - to heal or to grow; arrogance, ignorance - to not heal to play such intentional abuse to humanity - will be returned - all will suffer - and these souls have to wear this story for their collective that was meant to be of honour and respect - that is what abuse does.

There is no amount of money or title that will repair this.

Humanity trusted such souls with gifts, energy to bring new elevation - not devastation - but so too are the tantrums one must learn from -

All is seen and known; and those that choose to torture anyone in any way; retribution will be to the innocent and the earth will shift so that all torturers will be together and those rapers will be together, and all those that simply only seek, to manipulate and control will be on san earth of their own demise - this is how souls will learn - and so too it must be common sense is not so common. Deceit overrules than being honest and taking what is basic human treatment -

Those that do such; were meant to bring wisdoms for humanity, god-like honour and rather - their need for greed, taking, selfishness, and games of false power, clout, superficiality - temptations - abused energy and gifts rather than help humanity has done drastic drastic harm; imbalance and ignorance - to do everything harmful to have to torture 1 DF into a sick submission - so too will be their own soul reflection when all that was sacred within them, will be turned to their own hazing intentions - rather than ascending, they chose to descend and torture innocence - for claim, take, rape, feel better; all wounding within - same message -

The sick mental torture, the games, the manipulations, the pure and blatant ABUSE of power is bringing certain demise to systems of life and so too is the ignorance to even see this;

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None, no master should ever ever ever have to claw and fight to simply have nothing, the bare minimum and when we are sensed to receive something - there is a gang, or a selfish arrogant energy, ex, family that will do gang work to take, block, and stave off any receipt - it is torture to their own inner wounding - as I represent light and purity - they will do all they can to project their won inner child wounding to their own purity being wounded -

The stories you believe, or just think, about fairness, equality, the empowerment to balance the necessity of balance in all life - to sustain all worlds all to all realms;

Those wish not to take accountability and heal - they will be who they will be and those of us that are simply pure, wise, and truthful will be seen as the ones torture; hate is hate - the equal opposite to be able to feel, see, feel love;

There were even the famous pyramids - the great sphinx that even had her dismembered to look masculine - thus imprinted in every persons fields, as masculine; to represent energy and power, and longevity - She is DF dear ones; the Sphinx is feminine - but even this, will create debate and argument - for there is zero reign or space, energy the ignorance, the arrogance the simple minded and staunch rigid de-evolved mind will do, allow for any change to even hear and listen - this is disrespect - dishonouring 1/2 of your energy to all life ; - how will earth look, feel, without water, the energies of DF?

Alter your beliefs and spreading your vibrational knowing, seeking, waking up - would be pivotal for all at this point - denying the DF within in any and all ways; patterns of such energy and intentions are everywhere - and each are here to change it - 1 master DF cannot do it;

These are profound questions, and dark as it may be, these are the collective tremblings and it is in need of repair; and there are few that carry the energy to carry the world with them;

the arrogance of double standards, the harm done at a soul level and those that do so do it intentionally and get joy of causing chaos, mental, emotional entrapment, the spiritual and spell work also done is intentional and they get joy of causing such

the socio-path of such intentional pain when someone does nothing to you; other than asking, honouring their own human rights to safely living, safely moving, safely expressing of oneself - speaking truth; it is literally torture - it is not only the 3 days on the cross, that Jesus suffered -

The crucifixion was showing humanity the pain and suffering of their arrogance and the suffering of sacrifice immaturity to not evolve beyond such beliefs, but this path for me has been relentlessly impaled to every scheme of torture vibrationally imagined, emotional and financial, mental torture; for over 7 years

Many of us have carried literally countries of energy through ascension, we have carried the most arrogant of souls out of unconditional love, transmuting the darkness and harm, daily, and offering chance after chance, time after time to do what is right, truthfulness, and honest, integrity for the children, and to see the errs of their ways, to wake the fuck up and see what your disconnection of self, spirit, what is does and ripple through creation - simply, those like myself have been summoned off this realm - transporting my energies else where, and anchoring love, seeds, and nurturance to any life that respects and honours it;

Two nights ago, a very ceremonious time of the year, summer solstice, there were the same gang-bangers that gathered, and did a ceremony to set up vibrational raping, harvesting my light, my life force; for they feel the rush of power, the dominance and claim they would have if they sacrificed a consciousness make-shift event; I woke up out of my resting slumber at 12:00midnight to the disgust of being vibrationally gang-raped; and to the dismay and disappointment of the heavens, the guides, the ancestors, the beings of all dimensions; the Heavens cried once again.

I did what I could the entirety of the next day to transmute the vision, the feeling, the sensation of having your divine life force pulled, drained, raped out of you in a drunken frenzied debaucherous game of selfish harmful, most distasteful wounding;

There are those of us sent here for benevolence for the all - why we are not fitting in with normality - we see it, we observe it and we move through experiences for the healing of it - to create and help heal - transcend - Enough is enough; as God had offered in our posts a year ago - when God offered a final chance; that is God - the grace of all change, life, sacredness - we have disconnected so much so, the control, the dominance, to control what one gets, has, or even those that want to keep anyone moving towards a person;

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ie; an ex doing cock-blocking and those doing rituals to stave true love from uniting, or healing, helping; any arrogance of control due to the only selfishness; the sick sick constant and relentless pressing of control on the DF, meant to be liberated in creation, healing, expression as equals; will be equally what is returned to the life you see within and before you - all is all - / One so too will your version of earth be, Gaia, the DF to carry you for eons; whatever life you return to and not care about the harm, karma you were meant to clear this timeline - you will experience and return - it never leaves your soul - until you seek it within, acknowledge, accept, allow new energy only through self love; healing.

When you are sent as archetypes as a God, to speak on behalf, uphold sacred stories, energies, and bring peace, and bring wisdoms, and nurture higher order, higher evolution - but get stuck, Choose to be stuck in arrogance and immaturity to feed temptation - it affects the collective your soul chose to uplift and assist Creation -

You are here to break sacrificing, and bondage - self love, self honour, self value - all are now at end game; if you will not go within and take accountability for your sacred life and honour it, value it; then the earth will shift you to that earth of equal

I went for my walk in the forest, as I often do to help cleanse and purify me, and as I reach the end of it, around the corner of the final bend of the trail, I broke down, placed my hand on the tree in sobbing surrender; 'I cannot take this any longer-the constant raping' God said enough.

Their intentions to take, to steal, to have my star force, my star essence; in their ignorance cannot be taken in such a way, but they did not care to read, learn, grow in any way of what energy is, over 500 videos explaining such; the ignorance is not bliss, it is simply ignorance, and what world, what life will you have before you without the balance of DF; rivers and oceans will dry up, hospitals will cease, life and birth will cease, repair on and of any disease; many that have done such to me, over and over again, will see, experience disease; for this is Gods showing, and offering of even a % of what intentions were to someone that intended nothing, does not even know, have ever spoken to the beings that impale such hate; it is mere ignorance and elitism that hides behind false arrogant misguided religions of falseness and has nothing to do with sacredness of life, love; the basis of all religions - and they have such twisted warped sense of self, wounding so deep, these groups have affected the sacred to a point of no return; consequences are such.

May the immaturity getting a momentary fuck-rush be worth the intentions, the soul and spirit energies that were meant to be offered for grace, honour, gentleness, and redemption and care to bring balance; was again used to rape, take, mimick, copy and degrade; the sacrifice of another, for something -

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The balance of our DF/DM is everything for our evolution - and all simply remain asleep and unaware, ignorant, arrogance; affects everything

The taking of children from their mothers, for the embarrassment of games, scamming, scheming of power and abuse of it that have zero care for the health, futures of the children but to only be seen as the winner, the right one, the one that walks with title and being seen, known as 'right' -

When the DM, when the societal ways, knows nothing about energy, has not practiced it in light but to degrade and manipulate and has every day affected the souls, and futures of their children in playing the games of false power, false entitlement -

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SACRIFICE is not necessary - all any needs is within - this has been said, offered, 1 million different ways, and still they don't care; they just want to take, rape, pillage - these are souls that choose to not heal, not care, and rape the most precious thinking it gains something -

When you play power and energy against one another - you will never ever win; that is not the intent - so many low consciousness will destroy themselves for this is their level of intelligence -

Masters like myself, Jesus, have come to offer higher ways of resolve - and then we are raped into submission of silence; the arrogance and stupidity of serpent, zero knowledge and understanding beside controlling, spell work, manipulation of energy - which will never ever move beyond 3D - truth is truth; enough is enough

No child would ever want to be born into a world of rape and the disregard to grace, to sacredness of life; bondage, control, dominance is an illusion and anyone, any person entrapping, blackmailing - that does all they do to get their way; is in and of itself is immaturity tantrums that will destroy itself - for we are not children.

The out-right blatant idiocy - how can any violent, degrading, vile act ever provide a sacred loving essence?

Sacrificing of animals, people, energy, in any way; gang-raping for initiations is for the most abhorrent and twisted minds that would ever think, for a second this would a 'thing' to gain anything but disease, imbalances, demons, and disgust - anyone that is so in surrender of their life, faculties to agree, do such;.....................

Energy is energy - what you do matters, what you do, who you are creates matter

You have just manifested your world into being; may you wake up now.

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I ask again, 'what world you create is the world you will manifest' so be it.

May the 'stuff' be worth it, may the fuck-rush be worth it;

As a reflection of the sacred child, the divine feminine of never seen, offered before in one human, this was doubly offensive and the souls have retreated into the womb; the sacred child of the Christ, the birthing of oneness and unity, will not be for the mere testing of each and every ones character every day, every hour; and such gang schemes, scams, negligence to life, to sacredness that saves souls from demons and forever darkness, it, I and life is treated

'There is no civility to the sacred. All has been a blessing offered through the love and grace of Source, the Creators, and we have done nothing but rape it; the sacredness will be moved in reflection of your own vibration.' The Creators 12th dimensional collective

there will be a shift / through birthing as all basic biology, the cells will separate; one earth will be that of disregard, and ego, wounding, selfishness, disrespect, raping, taking advantage of children, life, people, animals, and so on, and such will be the stories, and the evolutionary lessons that all in our omni-will learn about the harms done through our arrogance and the ripple effect of such

Soul evolution is everything - it is connected deeply to our planet - and the raping is enough

Look up the word 'rape' and ponder, think, go within and heal what is triggered of such; when you were taken from so ravagely and unfairly, the unjust treatment you saw to an animal through immaturity, anger, arrogance, and heal this - call the deep emotions of being disregarded, silenced for your expression, not valued, not honoured, violently discarded, and isolated then blamed when you finally have the strength to stand, targetted after being isolated, then storied as crazy when you choose to side with such degrading and deplorable behaviour -

The elitism of such leaders, the masks that such titles and abuse of money and power have given; to be seen as powerful and leaders; yet behind closed doors, the family head treat life in spells, casting, voodoo, manipulation to control, to be the only one, to take, to be the one in control; and too shall be the arrogance of imbalance and unfair, unjust be returned;

Anyone that test you, wants you to endure sacrifice in any way, torture of any kind in any way; the thought that degrading life to be, feel, or be a part of anything - is NOT evolutionary of sacred life and is de-evolving - choose wisely - what sacrifice and how you do so

Anyone that claims clout, importance and need, want, and feels empowered to know you and be around you, or be involved with you for their own inner satisfaction - is ego, arrogance, and inner lack of self not being healed; you should never ever need anyone outside of you to feel important, good; especially when that person is the very one you did everything to to break, isolate as unimportant, and not skilled and unintelligent or crazy and ridiculous - ©

I will never be a part of such covens, clouts, groups, of abuse; nor will I return, nor will any energy of the past return; there is abuse, deceit, playing both sides, and immaturity - withholding, manipulation, deceit, games and denial;

My business, sacred offering, materials, video's, sessions online, any material content, books, and blogs, all my inspirations, of a mastery soul experience through all creation -

I have earned my right to be me, and be loved, valued, and given to me as me - those that rape to take for their own lack of self, insecurity - will be immediate and toxic selfish arrogance and ignorance is not bliss; it is torture and degrading, and de-evolving - damage done; all are required to go within and heal.

The message is the same.©

All get to choose - soul growth and self healing, self evolution - none will stick around to be abused, lied to, gamed, and taken from for the fun and sick torment of any group that thinks they know anyone, know their souls blueprint, potential, skill and importance - these false spiritualists and falsely entitled community leaders that only bring corruption, pain, de-evolution - all will face what they have created - the raping is the raping - business, sense of self you take from the innocent through deceit, manipulation - withhold, falsifying documents, all is rape - rape of the sacred - all get to choose the earth they belong to - and so too will it return to you - will you wake up and heal?

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Abuse is abuse; it is time all look at what a world would be in the direction, focus, intentions that are and have been;

[email protected]

Donations of good will and honour;

DONATIONs; PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss

And so be it, all choose.

Blessings of light and unity

Joanna

#ascension #philosophy #5Dearth #theshift #consciousness #rebalanceearth #healinghumanity #choosingyourself #selflove #selfhonour #selfvalue

#ascension #healinghumanity #5Dliving #5Dearth #healingdivinefeminine #healingcorruption #calgarycrime #calgarycorruption #healingcommunities #God #5Dliving #5Dbeauty #humanity #ascensiontools #ascensionbooks #celestials #oneness #unity #abundance #consciousness #healingtools #healinggifts #galacticfederation #5Dunity #healingabuse #womenhealing #healingourchildren #healingfromabuse #healingfromtrauma

#egyptology #sphinx #healingdivinefeminine #healingourchildren #Humanlessons #Crucifixion #lessonsofJesus #ChristConsciousness

#healingrape #rape #healingabuse

#healingdiscrimination #healinghumansystems #god #SourceCreator #ChristConsciousness #healingmentalillness #healingdisease

#christconsciouness #healingpsychology #5Dphilosophy

#Youtube

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box-dwelling · 1 year

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The internet is like a high school is not a new observation but I do find it fascinating how much of it is directly tied to people trying to win past conflicts from that time in their life. I see so many examples of bullying from people who clearly used to bully their peers that the want to bully someone else and come up with a bullshit excuse as to why it's justified this time because they apply a perceived justifying label of who the bad people are like narcissist or psychopath. Then there's the manosphere types who view all women through the lense of high school mean girls as a justification for their violent misogyny. Even in more alternative circles Especially on tiktok, though this behaviour is absolutely not as harmful as the above, people will frame liking stuff that is honestly pretty mainstream as being anti establishment and use strawmen of a high school bully charicature to do it. That's probably reflecting real expirences but it's interesting that that's the chosen strawman I keep seeing when in the adult world those types of people aren't the actual ones in power. I think there's also an element of misogyny here because it normally reflects the mean girl Regina George architype of bullying that is distinctly feminine instead of the more masculine archetypes of bullying which tend to get treated as a cliche way more than a reflection of reality where as the mean girl is presented as an ever present spector. There definitely an element of the death of counter culture in here too. When the tumorsus growth of mainstream capitalism continues to absorb all media and blunten it's edges, in order to differentiate ourselves we have to create a fightable enemy because it becomes impossible to fights the real one because you are forced to participate in it.

Some of this may be caused by teenagers themselves expressing their schoo yard dynamics online as well as off but I've seen enough adults play into this to feel that a decent number of them have this almost arrested development around adolescence. It makes sense, high school can often be traumatic and is also a major stage of development of identity.

I can't claim this isn't an aspect I deal with too. My high school was very diverse in terms of class and I'd be lying if I said it didnt colour my class politics. When all of the people who tormented you for years were rich, it makes it a lot easier to think they shouldn't have power. I'm morally lucky enough to have good justifications for that beyond my own trauma but if I'm being honest to myself it's not too different a thought process to the ones a lot of young men have that turn them into incels. This isn't a justification of their behaviour by any means, rather a cautionary tale to myself to remind me to continue to examine my own biases.

I do just find it interesting that so much of the behaviour I see can stem to high school trauma. And that fact both suggests to me that school reformation needs to be a priority if activism (in what way I'm unsure but it is definitely an area to look at) but also that I'm really really scared of what is coming in our near future as children are brought up on Andrew Tate and ethically questionable influencers. If that is colouring their behaviour now, even if they grow out of it, the effect they have on their peers may not be something so easily grown from. Maybe if we're fortunate it will be an equally strong force opposing those harmful values but it also may not be. It may be harmful in its own way and I hate that this generation of children is going to be a case study for this

#ramble #drama #tw bullying #tw misogyny

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thompsonstessa-moved · 3 years

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'Teraz Rock' Interview - english translation

A well know polish magazine about rock music 'Teraz Rock' (Now Rock) had an interview with Måneskin, and since one of the polish fans on FB shared pictures of the magazine, I decided to translate the interview, because I loved some of the stuff they said there! :D

As always, the whole thing is under read more. ;)

Maneskin is not only ‘Zitti e buoni’ and their winning performance in Rotterdam during the recent finale of Eurovision Song Contest. Italian band fits perfectly into the trend of rock restorers, and at the same time fights with the mental narrowness, prejudices and homophobia. On August 19th they will play In Park Kolibki In Gdynia.

I: You started by playing on the streets of Rome…

V: Unfortunately, there is not a lot of possibilities to debut in Rome. Rome is lacking the appropriate places, there are almost no rock shows. So we couldn’t find a place where we could show ourselves to the people. So we decided to play on the streets to gain the following, the listeners. We did that for good few months. And we had a lot of fun doing that. We think it really helped us, too. Because when you play on the streets, you don’t play for someone who came to listen to you. You need to attract people’s attention. So it was a great lesson on stage skills, to keep the attention. And we played many hours each day, so we also evolved as musicians, as a band.

I: Is it true that you had issues with police? V, D, T, E: Yes, that’s true!! (laugh)

D: It was all because of this old lady, that lived on the first floor, near the place where we used to play. She snitched on us! And sometimes police came and tried to get us to leave.

I: They didn’t arrest you?

D: No, it wasn’t that bad.

V: We were 16 back then. We just went all ‘We swear we won’t do it again!’ (laugh). We hid somewhere for 10 minutes….

D: Went around the block….

V: And played again (laugh).

I: You admited that at first you were shy. How did it happen that you gained so much self-confidence? Do you think one has to be self-confident if they want to show the world that they have something to say in music, in art?

V: It is important, but its more about feeling good with yourself and having fun doing what you do, rather than confronting the world. I think that if you lack confidence, you can’t fully enjoy creating, because you keep thinking ‘What the other will think about it?’. But everyone has to go through this phase. In my opinion, self-confidence is not something you’re born with. Everyone has the moments of hesitation and doubt. I have them too, still. And I think that’s perfectly normal. But you need to learn to appreciate yourself, accept yourself the way you are, because you can’t run away from yourself. We have whole life with ourselves, until the day we die (laugh).

I: Damiano, in one of the interviews you said ‘What we say, can change someone way of thinking’. Do you want to influence your audience? Artist like Chuck Berry or AC/DC just had fun on stage.

D: We also have fun on stage. But now, when we’re well known, we can get to many people, especially young ones. And there’s a chance, that if we say something positive to them, we could help them with their problems, that they can’t fight on their own. For example – like Vic said – we can help them gain more self-confidence and make them feel safer in the world around them. I’ll say this: if as a musician you have something to share with others, do it. But if you just want to have fun playing, that’s OK too.

T: Exactly.

I: Your behaviour on stage is often the reason for homophobic attacks. What would you say to homophobes here in Poland?

V: Fuck them!!!

T: Fuck them!

E: Fuck them, fuck them! (laughing)

D: Maybe not so vulgar.....

T: Fuck them!

D: For sure they should open up more, get rid of prejudices. Make a step forward. Free themselves from the old way of thinking. Let the others live however they want.

I: You debuted in 2017 with EP ‘Chosen’ with two of your own songs and few covers. Even tho you were so young, you already came off as mature musicians with a set style…

V: Thanks, but I don’t think so (laugh).

D: I don’t think we would agree with that.

E: We wouldn’t agree with that, definitely.

V: My bass playing skills definitely left much to be desired.

D: 'Chosen' definitely has its advantages, but… we were still looking for our sound back then. That EP is so much more different than our other albums. But it is a part of our career, our journey, and we don’t regret anything that has to do with it. We had a lot of fun recording it and… its something we did in the past and we’re happy that people loved it.

V: Still love it!

D: Exactly, still love it. Even tho we changed so much since then.

V: The most important and coolest thing about that EP is that even tho we were really young and our skills weren’t as good, you can still hear that we already had charisma and knew what we wanted. And even tho most of the EP consists of known songs, we changed them, played them in our own way, our own style. And that’s really cool because it shows us as a band with their own personality. Of course, now that we listen to that EP, we have lot to complain about…

D: We would do the songs much better.

V: But we like the attitude we already had back then. Even tho we were so young.

E: Our sound really changed since then, but you need to remember that when we we’re recording it, it was already a huge accomplishment for us.

D: That’s true.

I: On ‘Chosen’ Damiano sung in english. On your first album, ‘Il ballo della vita’ from 2018, you had songs in italian as well. Did your songs get more personal because of that?

D: I wouldn’t say that. We started writing songs in italian out of necessity. If you’re an Italian artist and want to reach Italian audience, you need, you have to sing in italian, because not a lot of people speak english there. Now it’s different, we managed to reach international audience, so we can make more songs in english. But we won’t resign from italian, we like to write in italian as well.

I: While recording ‘Il ballo della vita’ you made documentary ‘This Is Maneskin’…

E: They will never forget it! (laugh)

I: You can see there, that during that time you argued a lot.

D: We were young!

I: Did the conflicts threaten your band’s future?

D: No! We were just starting out...

V: Conflicts were inevitable. We were very young and suddenly tabloids were writing about us. And recording an album required a lot of work. And we never experienced that before, we had issues dealing with work in the studio. Because creating and recording together isn’t easy. You need to make many decisions, everyone has their own opinion. Now we’re more mature, we know how to deal with those situations. We can discuss with each other in a constructive way. We were much more childish back then and yeah, we fought sometimes. But even then nothing happened that could threaten our band.

I: ‘Il ballo della vita’ is a concept album of sorts. You have there Marlena, who, like you said, is personification of the concern a lot of you have – that we’re not able to be yourself…

D: The album was supposed to share a message to our fans. We wanted to tell them how important for us is the freedom to be yourself. The ability to love someone, that was chosen by our heart. Freedom to wear the clothes we like. Et cetera, et cetera… We realized that the album would speak to people more, and will be easier to understand, if we gave that idea a name. Of course it’s an idea that we still share to this day, just maybe a bit differently.

I: Your last album, ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’, you recorded live in studio. Did the way you worked on it was much different from the way you recorded ‘Il ballo della vita’?

D: Oh yeah! It definitely took us less time!

V: Definitely much faster. It was very exciting. We wanted to keep in studio the energy we have when we play concerts, which meant playing together. Which is of course much more difficult than recording separately. But we told to ourselves: let it be, we should at least try. And we loved the result.

D: You know, at first you work on the material in rehearsal room. And you’re full of energy. But then you come into recording studio, where you divide the song into parts, and you loose that power, that magic. So we realized that we should change the way we work, so we could keep the emotions from rehearsals.

I: ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’ is another concept album. You said its all about the rage, that plays the role of catharsis sometimes. Can you say something more about it?

V: Anger is mostly seen as something negative. And we think that classifying emotions as positive or negative is stupid. Especially in art. When you’re creating, anger can make you give more from yourself, say more. And that’s what our album is about, talking about the world of theatre. We show that something that’s seen as bad, can – especially in the world of art – become something good. And those songs, that are so full of rage, can bring relief to our listeners, which only confirms what I’m trying to say.

I: In the lyrics to 'In nome del padre’ and ‘Vent’anni’ you’re talking about mistakes you made in the past...

D: They are very different tracks, even if they seem to talk about the same topic. Vent’anni is all about our age, because we think it’s a very special moment in your life: you become an adult, but you’re still too young to be considered as such, and they don’t treat you seriously. We wanted to share that with our fans, because maybe they think the same. And In nome del padre is about the battle we had to fight, the mistakes we had to make, to get where we are today. Of course we’re still young, we still make mistakes. But I’m singing about the mistakes from the past, because they made us the way we are today. And I’m saying: don’t be afraid to make mistakes, because they are a part of your journey, your life. What’s important is how you react to those mistakes.

E: It’s not a mistake to make mistakes.

I: The next album, continuation of ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’ – is it already recorded?

D: No, no.

V: Indeed, our next album will be continuation of ‘Teatro D’Ira Vol. 1’, but we’re still working on it. We don’t want to record it in a hurry, we want to take our time making it.

D: We have a lot of songs already, but we want to have plenty to choose from. We want the album to have the most representative songs, the best ones.

#maneskin #måneskin #måneskin interview #maneskin interview #damiano david #victoria de aneglis #ethan torchio #thomas raggi #*mine

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han-shinsuke · 3 years

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l e v i a c k e r m a n

content warning

•s t a r t•

“Still dating,” I really don’t mind elaborating the kind of relationship and interaction Levi and I had every time we were together. As long as he’s happy and contented, I won’t ask and won’t even dare open up if he has plans to level up ‘us’. It’ll just make things complicated between our hearts and our real agenda.

“Did you fuck each other already?”

“What? No.”

Although, some nights, he’s in my dreams, fucking his loads into me until he fulfilled his bank of satisfaction.

Let’s just say I’m indebted to him that’s why I am letting him use me as a bait or a shield againsts those women who tries luring him to a marriage or to any responsibilities that would tie him up in a kind of life he never wanted.

Willa flashes a malicious grin and pinches my side, “what if he asks you to do some job for him, will you do it?” I did not falter when I responded.

“I will if he wants me to but, I’m just a bait and nothing more than that.”

“He’s here.” My friend cocks her head to the main gate and we watch his expensive rover enters our University and park right in front of us, “Levi.” Willa acknowledges his arrival and he responds with a nod, “Willa, it’s good to see you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Wils.” I give my friend a hug and hop on in his car.

Levi drives in silence which was his usual behaviour when we’re together. We lived in a same house but sleeps in different rooms and definitely not into romantics. Though, I’d be happy if we could engage ourselves into it.

He’s just uh, too uptight to be as sweet as a candy.

“Hey there, wait a sec.” His left hand almost got squeezed by the door of my room but he managed to remain calm and unbothered.

The door creaks open and slams closed when we stepped in to my room, him dragging me to the bed I don’t sleep on.

“Wh–why?” I ask when he instructed me to kneel. He sits on the edge, unzips his pants and freed his thing.

I gulp secretly and even curse under my breath. My eyes water at the sight of it and he’s very attentive in cupping my face and wiping the moisture on the corner of my eyes.

“We’ve been dating but you haven’t had a taste of me, right? Let’s start from the bottom, yeah?”

Can I do it? I have never sucked a man’s thing before nor had a chance to touch one.

“You can do it, baby. I’ve seen you licked an ice cream before. Close your eyes if you must, hmm?”

Sounds easy but too hard to execute. I shut my eyes closed. Pray first. Put my trembling hands around his long rod and breathe in strength and confidence.

Its skin feels soft and delicate between my lips but the whole thing is far different. It’s thick and hard as his fingers combing my shoulder length hair, slightly pulling the tension from the scalp. My mouth feels full by just having the tip around the circumference of my lips. It is bigger and harder, enough to piston down the sensitive muscle of a woman.

“Full already?” he teases, grabbing my hair fully as he lifts my head to spit in my mouth. It caught me off having a man’s saliva on my tongue but it feels warm and sweet and arousing that when he dropped his lips onto mine and kissed me hard just to force more of his spittle down my throat, I did nothing but moan alongside with his rough and sloppy kisses.

“Ooh, God!” I gasp after feeling his tight pull on the strands of my hair.

“Do it, baby, ‘kay?” I nod, lowering my head back to his tip, swallowing it first and clenching it against my lips. Levi let out a grunt and before I could even ask if I’m doing the job right, he pushed my head deep to his member, slamming the hard cap against my throat. I squeal and squirm and cry in my head all at once. The feeling of his erection installed fully and deeper in my mouth feels lethal and the tension down my pipe was forcibly undeniable. I let out choking noises and I heard him laugh at it, pulling my head up and slamming it back again. Then pulled again, withdrawing his size to look down at my tears dampened face.

“First time, baby?” I nod again, muffling my cries from the rough force that lingers in my mouth and down my windpipe. I failed in suppressing my cries that’s why I ended up sobbing on his muscular thighs, “ssshh, baby, it’s fine. You hurt?” I shake my head no. Liar. I scream in my head. My throat was throbbing in pain and my mouth feels numb by his huge size that previously stuffed in my airways.

Levi pulls me back to my feet, squeezing my sides with his calloused palms and fingers, face leveling with my chest.

“Why are we doing this?” I sob, holding onto his arms that continuously squeezing and kneading the skin under the uniform I am wearing.

“Can’t we do it?” he asks back, lips thinning into a mischievous grin.

He warms my heart and eases the pain in my throat by lacing his fingers along the lines of my lips, then pushes a digit between it, pressing softly and then poking my tongue with his sharp nail. I closed my eyes as I moan his name, almost like a whisper but loud enough for him to hear.

“Le–Levi... Levi... ” want him to do something to me. Something dirty. Something new. But how can you name a feeling so new, so strange and so addicting?

Another digit was added between my lips, pumping gently, heating the already burning fuel in me, “say it, baby. Say it.” He knows I’m craving for that heat. He’s putting me on the edge like how a bait should be treated. On the edge. On the brink of death.

Completely succumbed, I whisper those filthy shits, “fuck me, please.”

Those words were just a whisper but strong enough to snap him out of his own reverie. I’m just as lost as him. So high and dumb that I didn’t even notice the force he uses on me, tearing the front of my blouse, buttons flying everywhere. Finally, the part of me that aches for some attention, he didn’t think twice and cage the perked buds alternately in his mouth, lapping the pad of his tongue around its tiny size, sucking it hard that makes me bend my top body in a curve of delight as I ask for support through his head.

“Oh my! Levi!” the sounds of his lips between those cruel kiss as he pops each buds with force were enough to take away the remaining sanity in my head. My knees betrayed me, trembling down from the obvious defeat, Levi scoops my weight onto his lap, wrapping my legs with eagerness around his waist, putting his mouth back to business, my grip tightened on his hair, pulling his face tight against my aching breasts.

“Shit, baby!” I feel soaked and it was because of his habit spitting the spot he wants to claim as his own, “damn tits! I can suck these all night aah!” I follow his thirsty moan with a loud gasp and tight squeeze on his shoulders as he devours my chest with so much hunger. The kisses were soft but the teeth works were harsh, leaving marks of his pure desires.

“Come on, Levi! Aah! I–I hhyaahh! I–I need to pee, ooh!” I push his face and look at him pleadingly. The heat was turning up in my stomach. I really need to pee, “Hwait—Aaah!” He bites hard the left bud and I swear I fucking shit myself in my skirt but it was far different from my normal urine. It feels warmer and thicker that a question in my head pops up, “you’re quick to cum.” He confirms it, humping my hips against his protruding erection that has white cream on its tip.

Panting, I crash my lips on his and he’s quick to catch mine and give it the kiss I wanted.

“Levmmpphhh! Haahhh! Too hard hhmmpp!” He uses more of his teeth and tongue, biting the corner then licking the part he made to bleed a little. Levi was strong, his arms were crashing me with its tight embrace, holding me with so much force and selfishness. Trying my best to cope up with his need, I return the kiss in a very sensual manner, moving softly on his lower lip, nipping it, sliding my tongue inside his mouth. The table was turned. His kisses changes course, mimicking the slow pace of my mouth on his.

“Hmmm... ” I moan between his hungry but careful kisses, swallowing everything he could.

The kiss paused for a moment, engaging our eyes full of lust, I dip my mouth once again for a quick smack on his softness. He smiles, tugging down the blouse he tore apart down my elbows, exposing the cold skin of my shoulder and back. I tilt my head voluntarily for him to dip his own with ease. His hot mouth touch my skin, tracing warm kisses from my shoulder up to my neck. He blows a kiss on my throat and suck its skin, nibbling, determined to leave another mark .

“Fuck me, Levi. I want you in. Rail me, please.” He chuckles against my skin, peppering my softness with his cruel kisses. God. Unknowingly, humping and grinding my bottom against his hardness that screams for attention and womanly flesh.

“So desperate, baby huh! Can you take me huh? You don’t blame me if things gone wrong huh?” I won’t hold him accountable for things I pleaded him to do. I want it and I’ll deal with it.

Levi lays me down on the bed, pulling my lower half near the edge, folding my thighs to his heart’s desires after removing my undergarments. He eyed me down there carefully, constantly looking at my worried face. He must have noticed it, the flesh blocking his passage.

“I won’t scream. I won’t make a sound and I won’t hold on to you.” I heard these information from all the girls he had fucked to sleep. He despises women who screams, who cries and those who dares touch him while reeling deep a hole.

It would be painful, I know, but I prefer myself ready if something like this happened and it’s happening.

Levi tosses the clothes around the room, flaunting his perfect built and massive thing. I hold my legs for him, shutting my close as he rubs his tip on the hood, gradually pushing its head.

“G–go on... ” I encourage him, tilting my head to the left, biting my lips hard.

“You desperate little shit!” I unconsciously let go of my legs to cover my mouth when he goes really deep and penetrates the intact hymen to reach the place only his thing can touch.

My whole body shakes as my fingers clutches the bedsheet for external support.

His thing burns the life out of me, burning the core further, suffocating me with how his thing feels like, throbbing ang growing bigger from the fact that he’s the first man to use me like this.

I breathe his name helplessly, “Levi. Levi.”

He’s not making a move yet. He’s watching my every reaction and how my face contorted due to the pain he caused me.

“Are you expecting something after this?” his thing throbbed, growing even bigger. What a cruel way of knocking down my airway.

My lips parted, gasping for air. Pain from the bottom flesh increasing rapidly all over my veins, “N–No... don’t worry.” I give my most genuine smile and swallow my cries and sobs.

“I–I know my place, Levi.” I added before he gone merciless with his deep thrust and cruel kisses.

“Levi, ooohhh!” tightly, hold on to the sheet tightly. There’s no one to cheer me all throughout this session so I did what I needed to do. I comfort myself on my own, grabbing for support onto the sheet as he strikes harder and fast with those thick hips and thighs, spreading my legs with his expert hands.

“Shit, baby! So tight here hah! Damn!” hard blow followed by another blow, forcing my core to accommodate his growing size by folding my legs and spreading them when he’s not comfortable.

I need something to hold on but who and what to hold.

“Lev—” his lips crashes back again on mine, kissing me torridly, fucking my tongue with his tongue, swirling, tasting my mouth full of his spittle.

My heart swells in affection, my tummy from his long and thick manhood. He says, surprisingly, “hold tight, baby.” When I didn’t move because I couldn’t comprehend his words, Levi grabs my right hand and put around his toned arms while lacing his other with my left as he picks up his face and strength. Drilling his rod deeper and fast as he buries his face on my neck, sucking its crooked part, licking his way up to my mouth to kiss me again.

“Aaahhh~ oh my God! You’re so deep! Aahh!” I couldn’t contain my moans anymore. It’s getting louder and he’s not bothering himself with it. He keeps ramming his hips against mine, creaming the already drenched hole.

Another heat is building up in me, making me hold tighter on his body and hand. I started squirming when he put a finger on my clit, rubbing it hard as he pumps hard his long shaft, “shit, baby! Aahhnngg cumming! Aah!”

My body convulses with his shaking ones, pumping even harder, filling me with warm cream until it oozes down my core down to the anus.

“Levi... ” his name rolls out my tongue before I dropped flat weakly on the bed, him on top of me, pressing more of his weight ‘til he completely dry his member out of his jizz.

He moves again. Blowing off another strikes but I’m too weak and too tired to cooperate with him. I just let him use me again and again.

He’s the love of my life after all.

•••

I woke up alone on my bed, feeling numb from the last night activity. He wasn’t here. He must be out and working already. My stomach growls, hunger occupying my senses. I force myself out from the bed, heading to the bathroom to clean myself. His marks are all over my body. The most visible were the one around my neck and my left wrist. He’s gone hard and wild last night, holding me by the neck to kiss me while fucking me from behind. Ah, Levi, what a poison you were.

I dress in my usual boyish clothes, leaving the house with my sore body and numb legs.

The day was peaceful and I’m having my breakfast at a café when this man storms in and snatches my aching body.

“Ouch.” I hiss lowly, not wanting to draw attention on us.

He sits me back on my chair, setting down really close to me, pressing our forehead together.

“You’re not allowed to leave me, Y/N! Fuck. I was so scared!” he’s breathing heavily and angrily.

I sip my coffee before answering, “I can’t even if I want to, Levi. Not in this condition. I can’t even feel my legs.”

I giggle at my own helplessness but he’s still mad, “I have been calling you! Where’s your goddamn phone?!”

“Oh! I think I left it in our house.” I answer innocently, grabbing a waffle from the white china, “hey! that’s mine!” my lips pouted when he stole my food and bit it angrily.

“I love you!” I think I misheard him.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“What an idiot and slowpoke.” Levi commented before gripping my chin and pressing his lips hard on my mouth.

•e n d•

#love #imagines #smut #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #levi x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #dirty imagines

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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

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Do you think that making Chinese food is cultural appropriation? I'm white and started making some of the foods I saw in the shows I've watched since the untamed, but now I'm worried I'm appropriating the culture.

Hi anon,

As a fellow white person, I am also someone who needs to critically reflect on how I engage with different cultures. I can't give you the definitive answer you seek, the clear absolution from any potential wrongdoings; in its stead, I can only offer to share my current thought process on this topic. I’d still encourage you to seek other perspectives, and many people have written or spoken on this topic.

I believe we must first acknowledge that, on the terrain of the internet, discussions regarding cultural appropriation have reached a certain... extreme where some people view all forms of cultural exchanges as inherently suspect. They purport that so long as you stay within the bounds of ‘your’ culture, you will problematic behaviours. That perspective is inherent flawed. That is, it relies on a vision of culture as ‘bounded entities’ that exist in themselves. In reality, the ‘stuff’ that makes culture is emergent, existing only relationally, dialectically--it is a not a ‘thing’ that moves through time but an idea which is constantly negotiated and reproduced in relation to power and changing material realities to remain relevant and intelligible. The boundaries of cultural and ethnic groups are fuzzy, overlapping, and constantly being reworked and made meaningful. As an illustration, many of the food I grew up eating was influenced by ingredients and recipes immigrants brought in the 19th and 20th centuries, yet these dishes were understood as 'typically ours’. And it needs to be acknowledged that most of what is currently considered ‘white people food’ relies on ingredients that were introduced to our diet through colonialism and the violent dispossession of indigenous peoples (and, often, the current day exploitation of workers in the South and of migrant workers). No food can be truly ‘traditionally ours’, whatever the purported ‘we’ ends up being brought into the equation, and no eating behaviours can avoid the historical legacy and continuity of violence and power.

Of course, as people who exist in the world, we know that there are cultural differences. Bakhtin’s insights on language through the tensions between centripedal (ie towards uniformity, a common meaning) and centrifugal (toward diversity and change) forces can be expanded to help us conceptualise how we make sense of the way a ‘culture’ is perpetuated through time as something meaningful in our daily lives. Uniformity allows intelligibility, sense-making, but diversity and change are inescapable by-products of individuals and groups repeatedly going through life, meeting and trying to create intelligibility and sense together in a world that cannot stay the same. It is at the intersection of these two conflicting forces that something can be different yet considered the same--that we can create continuity out of change. But something perhaps less emphasized in Bakhtin’s discussions is how much power and material realities work on these forces. Power influences both centripedal and centrifugal forces, if only in orchestrating circumstances that shape how one encounters ‘different cultures’ or reproduces their 'own' culture.

We live at a moment where the world seems to have reached an apex of connectivity--where goods, people, ideas (and viruses) move across distance and borders at speeds that defy comprehension. Yet the way goods, people and ideas move (through which canals and systems? in which direction? to the benefits of whom? at the expense of whom? to what reception or use? in the service of which institutions and ideologies?) or are, inversely, incapable or unwilling to move, is influenced by power and material realities. It is inescapable.

In a roundabout way, what I’m trying to say is that it's useless to try to live life in 'your lane' by turning to a baseline 'culture' because we simply do not have a baseline culture to return to that is 'safe' from the influences of other cultures or the taint of the historical legacy and continuity of violence. So how do I personally reconcile that with how I engage with content that is produced from different cultural contexts, and how I engage with cooking food that is influenced by different cultural contexts? For me the guidelines I take into consideration are respect, attribution and avoiding forms of dehumanisation. These emerged out of witnessing how other white people have acted as well as critically reflecting on how I have acted in the past, and trying to do better (including of course, by listening to different perspectives on the topic). [just in case, warning for examples of racism/micro-agressions] I've been in China with white people who would praise the cooking we were eating in the same breath they were making jokes about dog meat. I've witnessed in Japan a dude decide not to come to an izakaya with Japanese colleagues, fucking off on his own to Akihabara instead, because he was disappointed he couldn’t talk about anime with them--too obsessed with the idealised version of Japan he’d created in his head to treat the Japanese people he met as people. The internet is full of white people telling you how to cook food from places they've never been and taking credit for 'popularising' that dish or 'making it better'. That's not even talking about the tendency for food to become a mark of a cosmopolitan, metropolitan identity in the West--the open-minded, the liberal, the traveler, the hip white person up with the times and beyond the mainstream. Hell, I've even seen people who act as if eating ‘ethnic’ food prepared by immigrants is the singular proof that they were people who cared about immigrants' well-being.

Food is rarely just about food, even when consumed at home. At the same time, we’d be remiss in all these discussions of power to dismiss how food is also one of oldest things we, as humans, want to share with others--including strangers. Feeding is nourishing and giving, eating is accepting into ourselves something made by others. Most people appreciate it when the value of a dish that holds importance for them is recognised by others--although, of course, many might understandably also resent that they have been discriminated against or mocked for eating that same food. Every time I’ve been invited in an immigrant household or at events with mostly immigrants, I��ve felt this sense of almost trepidation emanating from them, waiting for my reaction, and satisfaction once I was seen eating and appreciating the food they had served me--as if the acceptance of the food that was tied to their identity was a form of acceptance of who they were. Of course this can’t be disentangled from past experiences where other people might have been disrespectful, dismissive or outright racist: but the excitement they had in sharing food that had meaning to them and seeing others appreciate it was genuine.

Beyond situations of clear cultural sharing, where we get closer to what appears to be ‘cultural appropriation’, I believe that we cannot act as if there is something inherently sacrilegious in the idea of adapting recipes or using a specific ingredients in new ways--that’s centrifugal forces at play, and they have provided us with many dishes we love today: from immigrant creations like butter chicken to things like spicy kimchi. We cannot work with the assumption that people will only react with hostility at the idea of other people cooking the food they grew with, even in ways that are different from how they’re traditionally used and are thus “not authentic”. I still remember an interaction I had in a Korean grocery store, once upon a time when I lived in a metropolitan city. A man in front of me at the cash register who had been buying snacks and chatting with the employee in Korean looked at my stuff and suddenly asked me if I knew the name of the leafy green I was buying. I wasn’t necessarily surprised because I had overheard in the past customers and employees commenting in Korean about being surprised about the ingredients I, a white person, was purchasing, thinking I couldn’t understand them. I confirmed to him that I knew I was buying mustard greens. He then asked me what I was planning to do with them, and I explained that while I didn’t think it’s a traditional or common way of using it, I personally liked to add them to kimchi jjigae because it compliments their bitter/strong taste and I like leafy greens in my soups and stews. He said it was interesting, and that he was kind of impressed. The employee chimed to tell me I should be honoured at the compliment because the man was actually a chef who owned famous Korean fusion restaurants in the city. That was clearly someone who took Korean food very seriously and clearly had a certain degree of suspicion regarding how white people interacted with it, but he was also curious and interested in seeing how I approached ingredients without having grown up eating them.

Another point of contention is also that we cannot ignore that food is a sensual experience and that, while tastes are greatly influenced by our environment, they are not solely so. I grew up hating most of the food my parents would serve me, and started cooking in my early teens to avoid having to eat it. Before I started cooking, I would often just eat rice with (in hindsight horrible) western-brand soy sauce instead of the meal my mom had made. When I ate Indian food for the first time during a trip at the ripe age of 16, it blew my mind that food could taste like this. Of course I never wanted to look back, and with each years I discovered that a lot of Asian cuisines fit my palate better than what I grew up eating or other cuisines I had tried. When I was a teenager we visited my mom’s friend in France and I hated what she served us so much I’d simply choose to nibble on bread, prompting her to try to stage an intervention for my ‘obvious’ anorexia. Yet, being in China made me realise ingredients I thought I hated had just been cooked in ways I disliked. Do my taste buds absolve me from any need to think critically about how I interact with food? Of course not. But sometimes the reason we want to cook certain recipes and foods is just that it tastes great to us, and we want to reproduce the recipes we enjoyed with the ingredients and the skills we have. Or, really, sometimes we just want to try new tastes because we do a lot of eating throughout our lives, and it seems a waste to limit ourselves to a narrow number of dishes for decades to come.

So that’s where I currently am in my thinking about this topic, as a white person who cooks dishes influenced by a number of different places but who is also not trying to cook in a way that is necessarily authentic. Some things that I keep in mind that you can ask yourself now that cdramas and cnovels have made you interested in Chinese cooking is: are you taking this as an opportunity to support immigrant businesses when getting your ingredients? are you supporting white creators when looking for chinese recipes (some suggestion of youtube channels: Made with Lau, Chinese cooking Demystified, Family in Northwest China, 西北小强 Xibeixiaoqiang, 小高姐的 Magic Ingredients)? are you being respectful (not reproducing harmful stereotypes in how you talk about chinese food and the people who eat it)? do you use your interest in Chinese food to create a narrative about China and Chinese people that denies them, in some way, of their complexity and humanity? are you using your interest in Chinese food to create a narrative about yourself?

In conclusion I will leave you with a picture of some misshapen baozi I’ve made.

#anon ask #caution: word vomit ahead

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captainbeverlycrusher · 4 years

Text

An Open Letter to the Star Trek Community

To the Star Trek Community,

I write this from a place of deep respect, gratitude and compassion, and with hope that what I have to say will be received in good faith and be heard.

I am an immigrant woman of colour who found Star Trek at a time when I was at my lowest and stuck in what seemed like perpetual darkness, and it was this wonderful franchise and its powerful message which uplifted me and brought me back into the light so that today I can truly say that I am at my strongest. As such, Star Trek’s positive influence in my life has been no small thing. Star Trek has taught me to be the captain of my life, to reach for the stars, to stand up for what is right no matter the cost, and, above all, to be brave and bold.

And so, in the spirit of boldly going, I humbly call on ALL white members of the Star Trek Community — creators, platform curators, prominent fans and figures, including and especially Star Trek cast members, past and present — who believe in the underlying mission and vision of Star Trek to formally denounce all forms of racism and bigotry and those who uphold such abhorrent beliefs; I call on you to condemn the actions of those who have harmed Black and Indigenous people, and all People of Colour (BIPOC); and I call on you to strive to do more and do better for the sake of BIPOC in both the Star Trek community and in your own lives who have been subjected to racism. Finally, I encourage you to urge your supporters in this community to do the same, particularly those who are now finally waking up to the injustices perpetrated against BIPOC.

I am, of course, aware that the official Star Trek entity released a statement in this vein recently. I know many of you have expressed one way or another your support for the Black Lives Matter movement. I see you. It’s a good start. But it is not enough. I need each of you who hold so much influence within this community to do this, to say once and for all that you will not condone racism and anti-Blackness from your supporters, fans and followers any longer. It is important for this to happen.

I know you support the vision of the great Gene Roddenberry and the powerful philosophy of Star Trek and what it stands for. I know you believe in these words as much as I do:

“Star Trek was an attempt to say that humanity will reach maturity and wisdom on the day that it begins not just to tolerate, but take a special delight in differences in ideas and differences in life forms.”

But many white supporters within the Trek community truly do not share these sentiments, and they have proven this time and again, especially as they have belittled and driven fans of colour like me away instead of putting the mission of Star Trek into practice and welcoming us with open arms. Both on-and-offline, there are those who have insulted and degraded BIPOC involved in the Trek community— and not just fans but creatives, actors, and notable figures of colour alike. We have been treated as inferior and dismissed.

I have seen and witnessed it with my own eyes. I have endured this myself and I cannot explain to you how hurtful it has been for many of us. I am a fan who has experienced so much harm from many white people I have come across in Trek spaces, at conventions and events, even among those I had considered friends, and for it to come from within a franchise that promotes love, hope and acceptance, it has been devastating. What I once looked to as a safe haven no longer is.

I can only speak for myself and from my own experiences. And based on my experience, my call to action here is completely necessary. Because something I never say aloud, something I constantly have to process and reprocess in therapy is that 6 years ago when I was 24, the night before I first met my Trek heroes, I cried bitter tears because I felt that they would not accept me because I wasn’t white, that I was unlovable by even the most amazing people because I was not white like them. 24 years old. A grown adult. And I felt that way. So many white Trek supporters contributed to making me feel that way every time they overtly and subtly implied that their whiteness made them superior. I have remained silent about this and numerous other incidents for many years, but living in silence has only served to intensify the painful experiences I’ve had, and so I share this to stress the urgency with which this community-wide issue needs to be addressed. We cannot allow damage like this to continue towards BIPOC in this community.

Racism destroys the soul. Racism is why I hurt myself for so long and why so many white supporters have harmed fans of colour like me, despite their claims that they believe in all that Star Trek stands for. Racism hurts us all. This is just a small part of my story. Imagine how many more there are like it or even worse. As white people, you will never experience racism and you may not see the abominable treatment BIPOC in the Trek community encounter, but it is happening.

With the Black Lives Matter protests gaining momentum worldwide, it couldn’t be more clear that now is not the time to find the middle ground on issues like this, because there is none when it comes to racism. Either you are against it or not. And I promise you, the Trek community does not need the support of people who go out of their way to justify any and all racist acts, because as we can clearly see, even the smallest racial microaggressions and biases can ultimately lead to murder. The desire to keep the peace in the fandom and franchise is not more important than Black lives. Especially because the truth is, as far as I have observed, there has never been actual peace.

We are presently witnessing a global reckoning in which many are finally starting to acknowledge the existing ways racism and white supremacy are upheld. As a community that claims to value all beings and embrace all differences, it only makes sense for Star Trek and all its community members to lead the way to a better future in the entertainment and creative industries and beyond, and to start doing so by looking within ourselves and our own backyard. We MUST clean up this community so that all People of Colour can truly feel safe and welcomed and be embraced and celebrated in every Trek space.

As I issue my call to action, I urge you to consider doing the following:

First, in particular for prominent white cast and creatives, please let the Trek community know where you stand. If you have not already done so, please let people know that you will not tolerate any further bigotry and racist behaviour from anyone. Please let your Black fans and all fans of colour know that you are with us. And please don’t mince words.

Amplify the voices of BIPOC within this community. So many of us are constantly silenced and drowned out and it is time for us to be heard. Our presence only enhances the Trek community. Uplift and embrace us. We matter.

If you manage any online Trek-related spaces and platforms, it is your responsibility to moderate and remove speech that is racist against BIPOC. It is imperative for you to enforce stricter commenting policies and do all that you can to protect BIPOC from further harm. And for those participating in these spaces, it is equally your duty to call out and report any such speech you encounter.

Educate your fellow white Trekkies who don’t yet understand why this is important. BIPOC have expended a lot of labor attempting to do so already but we have been dismissed, ignored, and cast aside. The onus is now on you to ease us of this burden and do the work given your positions of influence.

Hold yourselves and other white people in your Trek networks accountable to BIPOC community members. Make this part of your norm so that it becomes second nature to you, especially so these issues don’t ever fade into the background as they have often done in the past. This is an opportunity to improve and get it right.

Continue supporting the Black Lives Matter movement even after it stops trending. Visit https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ to find helpful resources, make donations, sign petitions, and to get more involved in this work beyond the Trek community. This work is ongoing. It is lifelong.

Committing to doing every one of these would be small yet meaningful steps in the ongoing struggle for racial justice and it would make a significant difference. So with great respect and love, I implore you to use your power and privilege to do this for BIPOC, for yourselves, for all of us.

Stand up with and speak up for all BIPOC fans, friends and colleagues, far and wide. Be loud about it.

Be as loud and unrelenting as LeVar Burton. He has always been at the helm of this struggle, has always been upfront about it, and I love and admire him for it. Follow his lead.

Naturally, fear courses through me as I write all this, but I think of Gates McFadden, a great hero of mine, who once rocked the boat and spoke up against the sexism and racism she witnessed while working on TNG and was actually fired for it. If she can do that, then I think I can do this regardless of the risk. Because I know what I’m asking for and ultimately fighting for is right. Because what we can no longer deny is that lives are at stake. Black lives. And they matter.

Now it is up to you to do your part. Boldly go, in hope and with love.

And may you Live Long and Prosper.

— Originally published on Women at Warp

#Star Trek #Star Trek TNG #If you’re a genuine and committed trek fan you will not ignore this post #hi #yes I’m alive #some of you will remember me and others may not #you may know me as Bollywood Bev #regardless it will be clear that this account was inactive for a long time until now #I left the tumblr and the trek fandom completely because of the poor treatment in Trek spaces I experienced as a WOC #and witnessed towards other BIPOC #it was unbearable #folks seem to think that being a trek fan makes one inherently anti-racist but that is hardly the case #the fact is this fandom and franchise is filled with racists and bigots who parade around like they’ve done nothing wrong to harm POC #I have stories for days about what I have seen and endured #so I wrote this open letter to the community which I think is completely necessary #just as there is a worldwide reckoning taking place there needs to be one in the overall Trek community #to address racism and anti-Blackness within all Trek spaces #and I’m going to make sure it happens bc I can’t allow this supposed progressive franchise to continue to ignore its blind spots #while fans of colour like me suffer silently and pay the heavy price of racist actions against us #the fandom drove me away from it years ago with the incessant micro and macro aggressions thrown about by white fans #like that stuff really messed me up for a while but now I have decided to reclaim my space #and speak up after years of biting my tongue #because I deserve to be here and for Star Trek to be a safe space for me again #I’ll deal with the racism in the crusher fandom at a later point bc that is the one I was mainly involved in #but for now I issue this call and hope it is heeded #please read this and receive it as the gift that it is #thanks #tng #ds9 #star trek tos

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seokmingiggles · 3 years

Text

on cerulean tides.

Anon requested on 201219: "Would you do an idol!Kim Namjoon one shot where the reader (non-idol) is best friends with the Maknaes and believes there's no way Namjoon would ever like her so she begins to avoid him whenever she hangs out with the Maknaes at the dorms/studio/dance practice to try to get over him and Joon picks up on it and thinks he did something wrong/is sad since he thinks he stands no chance with her until the Maknaes force them to realize they return each other's feelings? Thank you in advance!"

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader

Genre: angst to fluff, idol!au, non-idol!reader, happy ending.

3.04k words

Warnings: heavy feelings of inferiority and insecurity, self-doubt, an incredibly brief mention of alcohol consumption, a dragged out metaphor about the sea.

With the ocean of uncertainty plaguing you, you've been avoiding the boy your heart yearns for, not knowing just how much your distance has been impacting him too. Alternatively, Namjoon is your beacon to guide you through the stormy feelings of self-doubt that you've been struggling with lately.

A/N: Thank you for your request! I probably made this much angstier than you intended, but I promise a fluffy ending awaits you. I hope it's okay! (I promise it’s not some pirate!au with a title like this lmao)

This one is dedicated to anyone who feels doubtful of themself. I wish that one day you will be able to see what an astonishing and beautiful being you are. All of us have insecurities about ourselves—big or small—but letting those criticisms consume you is unhealthy and prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Please reach out to talk to someone you trust if these feelings become overwhelming. Things will get better. Please take care of yourself!

•• You and Jimin laughed as you ran down the hallway, each of you with a bag of food in your arms. You could hear Taehyung and Jungkook scampering behind you, the former being noisy as he chased after you, Jungkook only had slightly more grace as he moved.

Being close with the maknae line of BTS had its perks. You could visit them in the studio if they called for you, you could have movie nights at their dorm on their off days, and above all, you could goof around to lift your spirits. You had boundaries; you knew when to leave them be during the busier periods of their schedules and how you couldn't post anything about them online. You didn't mind, though. Your friendship was more than enough.

You were a high school classmate of Jungkook's a few years back, although the two of you never spoke much during those first couple of years. It was only after his group's debut where the boy found himself in need of a tutor, and the school recommended a few to him. Yours was the only name on the list that Jungkook recognized, so it was an easy decision for him to make. Once you and your classmate graduated high school, Jungkook was no longer in need of a tutor, but he wanted to maintain your friendship as he didn't have many others he was close to in your graduating class. Slowly but surely, you also became friends with Taehyung and Jimin when visiting Jungkook over the years. Now, the four of you were practically inseparable. While the boys wouldn't tell you to your face, they all admired you because you never once treated them differently despite their status as idols, especially as their public popularity increased over time.

Jimin reached the vacant studio room before you, holding the door open to let you inside before shouting back at his friends, "You two better hurry up or else (Y/N)-ah and I will eat all the food!"

"Oh, I believe it!" Taehyung cupped his mouth as he yelled back, being pulled by the younger boy at his wrist.

Soon enough, Jungkook and Taehyung made it to the room before Jimin could lock them out. This whole ordeal began when Taehyung needed to use the bathroom after you all had entered the BigHit building. Jungkook went with him, leaving you and Jimin with the lunch he'd ordered.

"All that running from you guys worked up my appetite," you declared as you removed the assortment of containers from one of the bags.

"Well, all that chasing worked up mine," Taehyung countered, teasingly sneering at you and Jimin, the latter already breaking apart his disposable chopsticks.

The four of you began to devour your meal. The three boys were in the middle of a busy working day and invited you to join them for their lunch break. It wasn't an uncommon request; you'd see the trio at least once a week, sometimes more if their schedules cooperated.

Some playful banter with full mouths and filling tummies later, you were sitting back in your chair as you watched Jungkook finish the last of the japchae when someone knocked on the studio door.

After Jungkook managed a "Come in," with his cheeks full of noodles, it was Namjoon's head that poked through the doorway.

"I just want to remind you three that you'll be needed for our meeting in fifteen minutes," the group leader said, eyeing the now-emptied remnants of the lunch you enjoyed. "Hi, (Y/N)."

"Hi, Namjoon." You matched his monotonous tone, maintaining difficult eye contact as he shut the door behind him.

"Okay, whatever is going on between you two needs to stop," Jimin sighed out, visibly frustrated. "You used to get along so well with hyung, and now it's so awkward seeing you interact."

Taehyung sat up straighter, "I agree. You two have so much in common. It's sad to see you so distant now."

Jimin and Taehyung were right. You and Namjoon had to do a lot of scheduling together back when you were Jungkook's tutor, so he was the first one you'd gotten to know in the band, other than your former classmate. The two of you shared a similar mindset: you were both compassionate, responsible, and—arguably above all else—incredibly bad at sharing your feelings.

You wished you could determine the exact moment you began to develop feelings for Namjoon. Maybe it was something about his warm smile; maybe it was his cheery laugh. Or perhaps the way he so intently listened to what the others had to say and would consider ideas other than his own. You not once ever doubted his ability as a leader. You've known the boys since their debut, and even back then, you found Namjoon fit for his role; he's only become better at his job in the passing years.

Yet, something about him made you doubt your ability to be his equal. Part of you knew it was silly to begin avoiding Namjoon in the first place, but the other part of you couldn't bear to suffocate with those annoying butterflies swarming every time your gaze met his. Even from across a room, Namjoon had a powerful effect on you. Part of you wanted his impact on you to stop; part of you missed his closeness.

"Jungkook, you're being awfully quiet," Jimin exchanged a look with Taehyung, "Do you know something that we don't?"

Your head snapped up in Jungkook's direction, silently begging for the boy to deny their assumption.

The youngest hummed and grabbed a water bottle, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. He swished the water around in his mouth.

"Don't make me squish your cheeks to spit out that water, Jeon."

Jungkook swallowed. He glanced at you for confirmation, although instead, took in your tired appearance. He brought it upon himself to make your exhaustion stop.

"(Y/N)-ie likes Namjoon."

You sighed at hearing those words aloud. You couldn't even be mad at your friend; the only way he found out about your feelings was over some drinks one night where you were rambling about how pretty you thought Namjoon looked earlier that day. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell your crush's bandmate that you liked him.

Jimin shifted in his seat, "Okay, and...? Don't tell me you thought we didn't already know, (Y/N)-ie."

"Yeah, it was obvious when you'd become flustered around hyung!" Taehyung added, "But after you began avoiding him I figured something had changed."

You fiddled with the cap of your water bottle. "Does he know?"

"Namjoon? No, there's no way. He's about as clueless as you are when it comes to crushes." Jimin pondered then continued, "Maybe we could talk to him about it-"

"Absolutely not."

"But why not (Y/N)? It's painful for us to watch the two of you interact lately; it must be worse for you guys."

"I don't want him to know."

"That's not a good reason-"

"It's good enough for me. Now please, can we just forget about it? Don't you guys have a meeting to get to?" You felt bad for shutting down their request. After all, they were only trying to help you.

The boys began to stand, collecting the bags and containers scattered on the floor. They were visibly defeated, but they respected your plead.

Jimin stood by you before turning to the door, "Okay, if that's what you wish, we won't tell him. I do think you should, though, (Y/N). Maybe the results will be in your favour."

•

You felt numb as you were on the bus heading back to your apartment. You tried to escape from your thoughts about the boy you were so fond of, yet your mind defeatedly wandered its way back to him no matter how hard you tried. It pained you to see Namjoon's behaviour shift with yours as you began to avoid him throughout the past month. You didn't realize how severe it had become until your friends pointed it out to you. You thought the distance you created would help alleviate the pounding sensation in your chest and clammy palms associated with Namjoon's presence. You never thought that one day you'd prefer your racing heart to the emptiness you feel now.

He's too good for me, you kept convincing yourself until it was all that you believed.

He couldn't love someone like me.

You have struggled with self-compassion throughout your life thus far. Feelings of gratitude coming in inconsistent waves like the unpredictable ocean tides. You were stormier lately—lost in the sea of doubt and floundering to find stability on shore again.

Namjoon used to be your lifeboat. He taught you that appreciating oneself is necessary to become genuinely happy. He even wrote lyrics about the phenomenon. He made it sound so simple, so achievable. Yet, the theory is typically easier than the practice. Wind and rain continued to pelt down at you, thrashing the waves beneath your surface and making it difficult to breathe.

You wanted to change your mentality; you wanted to be more confident. But constantly comparing yourself to others is equivalent to drowning in the murky ocean, the depths sucking you further and further below until not a trace of sunlight remains.

You made it back to your apartment safely in one piece. You were mentally exhausted and drained at all of your overthinking. You felt the need to cry out of frustration.

"Remember to breathe when you're feeling like this. Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

Namjoon's voice resounded in your head from a few months back when you overheard him calming Taehyung down in a neighbouring room.

You missed hearing his voice.

It was an unmistakable desire. You missed the way he'd look at you with utmost attention and care when you'd speak with him. You missed the way he'd give his thoughtful advice. You missed his smile, his laughter; you missed him. You longed to be back in Namjoon's presence. He always knew what to do or say to help calm the storm. He was a lighthouse beckoning you back safely to shore.

You were getting tired of avoiding him.

But you were also getting tired.

Padding your way to your bed, you slipped into comfy loungewear and got beneath your covers. You momentarily stared up at the ceiling before closing your eyes.

"Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

•

Your ringing phone was what awoke you. It could have been minutes or hours later; you weren't sure. You reluctantly pushed yourself out of your blanketed fortress and made your way to the kitchen counter where you left the device. It was still light outside, but you could see the sun beginning to approach the horizon line.

"Hello?" You said, cursing in your head for the way your groggy voice sounded.

"Hi, (Y/N). It's been a while. Could we talk?"

You froze, being doused by the icy sea.

"Um..." you hesitated. You were caught off guard in a place that was supposed to be your retreat, by a person who was supposed to be your oasis.

"Deep breaths."

"Yeah, I-I guess we could talk."

"Great. Would it be okay if I came to you? I'm almost done here in the studio, maybe another thirty minutes before I can head out."

You were nodding your head before you verbalized your agreement.

"Okay. I'll see you soon, (Y/N)."

"See you, Namjoon."

You hung up first and set your phone back onto the kitchen counter, your elbows following shortly after so you could place your face in your hands.

You knew this was coming; Namjoon was a responsible young adult. There was no way he could have missed your change in behaviour around him as much as you wished for otherwise.

•

Thirty minutes went by faster than you wished. The sharp knock on your door startled you as you were washing some dishes in the kitchen. Cleaning when stressed wasn't an unusual habit of yours.

You hesitated, grabbing a tea towel to dry your hands before treading carefully to the door.

"Deep breaths."

You removed the chain and carefully opened the door. You knew Namjoon was waiting for you on the other side, yet your breath still hitched as your eyes wandered upwards to meet his.

"Come in," you forced from your lips and stepped to the side to let your guest past.

Namjoon thanked you as he slipped his shoes off and made his way to your sofa, declining your offer of a drink.

You joined him shortly after, keeping him more than an arms-length away.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?"

"Deep breaths."

"Did Jimin mention anything to you?" You could tell your voice sounded weak, but you had other pressing concerns.

"Nothing elaborate. All I was told by him and Taehyung was that I should try talking to you. They didn't say why, but I think we both know."

You searched his face for any signs of dishonesty but found none. "Nothing's wrong-"

"Please," he pushed, "I'd like to think I know you well enough over the years. Something is wrong. I should have come here sooner. You know you can trust me." He even bared a small smile after his words.

It only made your heart plummet further into the depths: a watery grave with your name written on it.

"You're just..." you sighed out, already feeling tears prickling at your eyes. "You're really... just... good. I hope you know how good of a person you are, Namjoon. I don't know how else to explain it. You're a good person. No, that's an understatement. You're... it sometimes doesn't feel like you're real, you know? You're just so giving and considerate and so aware of others' wellbeing." You failed to hold back your emotions; a tear slid down your cheek. "You're good."

And proving your point, Namjoon slid closer to you on the couch so he could take your hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel so insignificant," you continued, "like I'm nobody special or that I'm not doing anything important or worthwhile; that I'm not enough. It's like I'm stuck on the bottom of the ocean. I'm not drowning, but I'm able to see the world passing by above me."

Namjoon said nothing for a moment and just absorbed your thoughts as he mindlessly brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. "There are times in everyone's' life where we all feel that way. You can only tread water for so long before you exhaust yourself and begin to sink. I've felt that way, too—stuck, insignificant. If I'm being blunt, part of my desire to change my mindset was because of you, (Y/N). When I first met you as Jungkook's tutor, you seemed so knowledgable, responsible; you had a good head on your shoulders. You were good. Part of you reminded me of myself, yet part of me also felt intimidated by you." Namjoon stopped momentarily to smile at your astonished face as you mouthed 'intimidated?'. "Yes, intimidated. I've admired you since day one. Then slowly, I realized that those feelings became more than just a simple admiration. But I held back saying anything because I didn't feel worthy of you. I let my own self-doubt get in the way."

"I'm the one not worthy of you, 'Joon."

"Please, love, nothing about that is true," the boy's voice became so tender as he brought his free hand to the side of your face. "One day, I'll show you just how incredible you are to me," he swiped his thumb to collect a stray tear, "but right now, I think you're more in need of a tissue and a hug."

A small, breathy laugh fell from your lips as you accepted the tissue Namjoon retrieved for you. After effectively wiping away your salty tears, you gladly situated yourself in his outstretched arms, being held in a tight embrace. The two of you remained like that until your breathing gradually calmed down, then you moved so you were lying against him with your back to his chest. His nose lightly nuzzled the top of your head.

"All of us have a bit of the ocean inside of us," Namjoon continued, delicately grazing his thumb around the curved corner of your eye, "it means you have the power to control the waves to some extent. The sea can be unpredictable, but so is life. It takes practice to learn to control your waves. I know you may not believe in yourself now, but please, (Y/N), believe me when I tell you that you're enough. You're more than enough."

•

Namjoon stayed with you for the rest of the evening to make sure your spirits were lifted even the slightest bit. The distance that grew between you was from a mutual error; you came to understand your similar sides to the story as you continued to talk. The whole ordeal made you realize that you're not alone in your insecurities. Even someone you suspected to be flawless had doubts of their own.

You were situated back in your bed after Namjoon had left minutes ago. He wished you a good night and pleasant dreams, topping off his adieu with a quick peck to your cheek. You relished in the feeling of your butterflies returning, no longer letting them suffocate you, instead, embracing them in their colourful magnificence.

You recalled what Namjoon said earlier to you:

"You know, what you said about the ocean, it can be beautiful too. Yes, it's scary when you're alone and trapped at the bottom beneath the waves in the dark, but the thing about the sea is that it's continuously moving and shifting. Like our lives, tides come in highs and lows and can change from day-to-day, hour-to-hour. It's unfair to assume we can always remain floating on the surface; when that happens, you can't go anywhere yourself. You need to be partially submerged to move and make choices.

Why don't we traverse this sea together? We can help guide each other until we've found our shore again."

Namjoon was your lighthouse; you were the moon guiding his tides.

••

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