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peakywitch · 2 years

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Old Chapters - Michael Gray

A/N: Season 6 spoilers AND PURE PURE PURE MICHAEL ANGST, quite the harsh vocabulary, mentions of a hypothetic abusive partner (there's no violence towards anyone!), almost a love triangle, michael x reader & tommy x reader, harshness level season 6! If you dont understand the story, don't worry neither do i lmaoo anyways enjoy xx

2k words

masterlist

The bell on the door rang, snitching on whoever got into the bookstore. Maybe it was Adam, who couldn’t take a no for an answer and came today to bother, yet again. But the guards that watched over the shop had strict rules from Tommy himself to not let him anyway near the door. Y/N listened carefully, trying to decipher the noise, if the intruder did any. She was kneeling down, and the stranger interrupted her while she was doing some stock review. Slowly, the small notepad that was in her hand was placed on the floor, and this helped her to find balance with the shelf in front of her.

“I’m sorry,” she said a few seconds after not hearing anything, “we’re already closed, we close at six, please come back tomorrow!”

She heard nothing in return, so maybe it was Tommy. But even the man announced himself every time. She waited a few more seconds but still, no noise. Not even Adam tumbling around and making books fly down. This silence was more dreadful than the Welsh curses that came from her suitor.

With a trembling hand, Y/N found reassurance when she hid the small gun in the pocket of her long, brown skirt. Before leaving the room she took a deep breath, trying to force a steady, undoubtful grip if needed. But, when she entered the main salon, a man was looking through pages of a book that had been bought more often than any other. But it wasn’t just any man.

It was Michael.

He was just standing there as if he owned the place and was doing some stock research.

“Hello, Y/N.” his low voice vibrated through her whole body, “long time no see.”

Indeed, long time no see.

She didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. There was no possible answer, there was no need for a warm welcome. He didn’t deserve the Welcome back to Birmingham Michael! nor did he deserve her tears. Yet, she couldn't control those.

“You own this place now?” He asked, and for the first time in years, she saw his eyes, again. The last time she had seen him, it was at Polly’s funeral. His eyes expressed many more things than he had ever expressed. But now, he looked shallow, bored to death and stuck in limbo.

“Only one thing has changed in the last few years, and it’s something I thought you’d never lose. Your way with words.” He closed the book softly and left it in its original place. Now, all of his attention was directed to her.

“I ran out of words that morning, Michael. I don’t have anything else to say to you. Not that you would care, or that they would matter.”

When Michael left for Boston, it was a Thursday morning. She found out after she spent the night at Polly’s because of a fight the afternoon before. She was in Tommy’s office, and the leather couch was acting as a safety net because after he left without her she found herself spiralling out of control in her anxiousness. In the shatters of her heart, now scattered all over the place. Tommy took matters into his own hands when he found out that his cousin didn’t have the courtesy to tell his girlfriend that he was leaving. Without her.

Michael cleared his throat.

“I’m not here to talk about the past-” he took both of his gloves off, and the shinny wedding band that was hiding under the leather twisted a knife that she thought was long lost.

“There’s no past to talk about.” She muttered, trying to sound confident. He stared at her while taking off his hat. Those same, deep blue eyes always gave him a smug look, yet a kind one. His hair was smoothly brushed, and there wasn't a strand out of place. He was looking as if he had a nice life.

“I’ll be quick, and I’ll be blunt, too. Tommy wants me dead-” His voice sounded loud and clear, he obviously developed confidence out of nowhere.

“That much I know.” Y/N voiced out with a bit of sarcasm and Michael raised his eyebrows, surprised at her newfound tone and continued.

“And I, also, want him dead. But not just because I want to live enough to see my and Gina’s son grow up, but also because I want him to pay for what he did to my mum.”

My and Gina's son.

Lawrence Gray.

She saw the boy once, in a picture that was published in the papers in an article about Gina’s uncle, Jack, opening a new hospital for children and using his nephew and media bait. Blonde hair, and Michael’s face. There was no denying it. That’s what hurt the most. Because if the baby looked a bit more like Gina, she could have brushed it off. Maybe think of her as a whore. But it wasn’t the case. Same soft nose, long lips and that smile she had once seen in him, as he was a boy in the village.

The village.

That haunted, forsaken place that they wanted to leave way behind. That place that they left behind, together. Only for her to be left behind next.

“I want you to help me to take him down, Y/N. I can’t do it without you.” Y/N snorted out a laugh, he couldn’t be serious! He had to be joking!

“Oh my God, I think you should ease it with the snow, Michael.” she laughed out, but he remained unmovable in his place. He wasn’t joking.

“He trusts you, Y/N. And this is not for me-” his voice started to raise, letting her know that he took her laughter as an offence.

“Everything is always because and for you, Michael!” She fought back.

“This is for my mum!” he yelled. And Y/N stood in her place. The only time that she heard him yell, was the day of the fight, she would be lying if she said Michael was a verbally abusive partner. Maybe a dickhead, an idiot and sometimes a fucking twat. But he never abused her, in any way. Which made Y/N hate him more because if he was as nasty and as easy to hate as Adam, she wouldn't have had a tough time getting over him.

She stayed there, petrified in front of him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

Fuck you, Michael Gray. Let me hate you.

“I want you to help me. And then, I will help you to keep the bookstore, or I can help you move out of Birmingham. I just… I need to trust someone inside.” He was trying his best to look… sensitive. To provoke something.

Y/N stared at him, not believing what he had just said. He became a stupider man.

“Gina sucked the intelligence out of you, Michael?” She laughed in disbelief.

Michael looked away. His ex-girlfriend talking about his wife and- yeah, she still had her thing with words.

“You actually want me to join you because you want to see how I'll stick with Tommy and want to convince yourself that you were right, that I would have eventually betrayed you. Or left you for Tommy or some shit like that. But guess what? I am not taking sides here-”

“There’ll be a day where you will need to choose a side.”

He sounded like a holy man, talking about judgement day. It made her crawl in her own skin.

“Jesus, Michael, who do you think I will choose? The man that left me and married someone else without notice? Or the man that took a chance on me and is now helping me? Do you want me to choose if the day comes? Fine, I will. But just know Michael, I would never betray you.” he smiled, “but then again, I will never betray Thomas. Because, unlike you, he never betrayed me, or my trust.”

“He betrayed me, and my mother!”

“You failed him first! You set him up, you sold him to Changretta, Michael! The man that killed John and almost killed you! And then, you betrayed me, I was your girlfriend! You told me you loved me!”

“Oh, come on! We were both barely 20, what did we know about love, ey!?” There it is, there it fucking is. A reason to hate him. “I heard you say that you loved me, night after night! And then, you just evaporated, and he was the one that told me, he was the one that helped me move out so I wouldn’t have to be the one to take everything out of your house, Michael! I was distraught!”

“I was young, Y/N!” he stated, trying to defend his reckless actions.

“I was younger, Michael! Three, almost four years younger! Fuck! But I always had at least a bit of human decency in m’self! I would have never, ever done something to you that would hurt you in the very least! And guess what? Age is not an indication of emotional responsibility, my son is ten times more considerate than you, and he is three years old!”

The sentence ripped apart her throat and her heart. Months of anger, nights of tears and mornings of dread. His ghost danced around the house for months on every sleepless night. Michael stood there, frozen, and she kept on speaking, allowing the words she only dreamed of saying to come out.

“So guess what? I will stand by the man that never betrayed me. You just want to see me sell you out, because you know I would if you ever told me about your plan of killing Thomas. Because he’s the only one left that I have, and I would sell you out if that meant I got to keep him. You wanted to see if you could trust me? Well, guess what? You can’t! You fucking can’t! Just like I will never, ever trust in you again!”

He laughed bitterly, and putting on his hat again, he spoke grimly.

“I always knew you’d betray me in the end.”

“No, you got this wrong. I will never betray the man that I love. Neither the man that I once loved. And.. not only did I love you, Michael. I adored you. Shit, I would have left for America with you! But… but now I’m so glad I never did. I have a loyal man by my side who cares for me and our kid. And I have barely any time to think of you and how you broke my heart. So go ahead. Go ahead and try to make me betray my husband, Michael. Because if you ever get a bullet in that fucked up brain of yours, it will be because of me. Don’t try my limits, because I am not the same stupid and disposable girl you once knew.”

The shallow and gloomy facade he once had, was now long gone. Even though he was the one to force her to move on, he was shameless enough to believe she actually would move on.

“So…” he said, putting on his gloves, “you have a son?” Was this some attempt to guilt-trip her?

“Yes, James. Causes more trouble than I ever did. But then again, it’s the Shelby blood, they were also quite the thing.” She smiled for the first time she had seen him that day. A small, shy and sad smile. Michael's eyes roamed her entire body, and smiled, after noticing one small detail.

“That they are.”

They stayed in silence looking everywhere but at each other. The books, the shelves, the chandelier, and the small cat sleeping in the staircase that everyone seemed to love. Without a word, Michael walked to the door and Y/N followed carefully every step. He placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door after twisting it softly. The cold, winter air filled the shop.

“I’m happy you have James now. But you also forgot three small details. You’re not wearing a wedding band, nor is your finger shaped to its form, I doubt Tommy would allow that. You also forget that we both, too, were quite a handful. And the last one, you were never a good liar. Goodbye, Y/N.”

#michael gray blurb #michael gray fanfiction #michael gray #michael gray angst #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders angst #michael gray x reader #michael gray x you #thomas shelby fic #the peaky blinders #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby #finn shelby #john shelby #arthur shelby

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sydneyshipsstuff · 10 months

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answering both of the recent tag games in one since im lazy (so scroll for the questions below the bingo)

tagged by @professional-benaddict (sorry for responding so late lol) and because i dont have too many mutuals, tagging anyone who sees it & wants to do it!

I chose my baby Spider-Man/Peter Parkee, with a focus on the starker fandom!

1. How did you discover your fave?

spider-man movies -> video edits on insta/tiktok -> irondad fanfics on wattpad -> ao3 -> looking at starker in disgust -> becoming a part of the fandom

2. How long have you been a fan of your fave?

since homecoming! when it first came out but it took me a while to start interacting with the fandom

3. Do you write for your fave? (E.g. AU's, Drabbles, Fan Fics.)

sorta! i don't actively write, just kinda drabble sometimes and i mostly dont post that, plus helping others write, i do have drafts that have been in my docs for years though

4. Do you like what is canon about your fave?

i do but i feel bad for him! poor guy has nobody :((, but before endgame i was in love with canon.

5. Tell some of your headcanons of your fave.

•his spider abilities on top of the originals like purring, cant have peppermint, hibernates, etc

•his love of animals, always stopping on patrols to say hi to them or trying to keep the strays he finss

•being worthy of mjolnir and picking it up without knowing the significance

•that he worms his way into the hearts of everyone he meets

6. Do you draw for your fave? (E.g. Fan Art)

no i dont, but i love seeing others fan art obviously!

7. If your fave/s are portrayed by several actors, who are your fave portrayers?

basic, ik, but tommy.

8. Are you more into Books/ Comics/Films when it comes to your fave?

mostly the fanfics then anything, but the movies and comics are so entertaining.

9. Quote anything about what your fave has said.

this ones weird but when i went to new york i went out of my way to go to moma because of him mentioning it to tony

10. Quote your favourite line of your fave!

basic but the "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you." because even though its sad/semi unhealthy to put that pressure on yourself, i relate to it in a way and uphold myself to helping whenever i can.

11. Ever made a edit for/of your fave?

i dont think so? maybe photos but that would have been a while ago

12. Songs you associate with your fave?

anything to do w new york really

13. If your fave was real, do you think they'd like you?

i think so, if we meant in a natural way lolol, i try to be social and i think id be able to joke with him

14. Amongst your fave/s who do you think are you? (E.g. You have 5 faves, amongst the 5 of them you think of yourself as fave no.3)

skipping because i only am answering for the one

15. Do you know your fave origin story?

yes i doo, radioactive spider bite, yada yada, parents dead, yada yada, uncle shot, rip, grew up in queens & stayed there

16. In 1 word describe your fave’s aesthetic.

akward

17. Is/Are your fave/s famous on A03?

yes very much, but mostly for irondad

18. Ships that you like with your fave?

i do like irondad if thats even considered a ship, peter w tony, harley, steve, stephen, and bucky, either seperate or at the same time, and im open to other pairings too

19. Is/Are your fave/s well known?

yes very well

20. If your fave/s have a fandom, what do you think about the fandom?

i like them, idk if theyd like me now that ive gone to the dark side lol

21. Describe yourself using something your faves have said

oops kinda did this already for another question but, "I am Responsible. I…Oh crap. My backpack’s gone." I try to be responsible but i am very clumsy and forgetful lol, and i do a lot of stupid shit

22. If you would feed your fave/s something, what would it be?

as big of a meal as i could possibly make, very carby, probably pasta, get some meat on those bones and feed the super apetite

23. How do you see yourself in any of your fave/s?

i see the optimism/ akwardness in myseld as well, we are semi-close in age so i think that contributes to it

24. Ever taken a break from your fave/s?

sorta, it was very short and it was mostly in between going from irondad to starker as well as small breaks i took from everything lol

25. If your fave/s were to have a crossover, who and which character would they have a crossover with?

well they did have one with stephen and the other spidermen but i think it would be cool to see him really interacting w the women of marvel, aka kate, yelena or natasha (also rip), pepper, captain marvel, america chavez, etc.

#sydneys tags #sydney answers #sydneyrambles #rafni if you see this i love you #starker minus the starker tag

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my-lunaberg · 1 year

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Yeah just to clarify, Im qatching the no way home vod now I'll probably make this a seperate post for the sake of keeping shit more organized

Oh they are in prison my hearst beating so fast rn

Oh dear god technical difficulties

Bruh did they drag them to jail with fishing rods thats fucked

Oughhhh the fucking armor thing aaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay the real question is, does Dream want Tommy to die or does he still wanna keep him alive n shit

I knowww wI definitely need another break but its already noon and I just gotta power through this shit man

NOOOOOO ERYNS ARMOUR.........

"You broke in and killed me in my owm house" idk why but thats so funny to me. dreams house, The Prison

Dream smp got me rockin back and forth dude

Bro did Tommy keep DreamXDs bell from the cell really

Okay Tommys keeping his weapons, some pearls and his totems thats good

Ah nvm

NO WAIT THE DISCS ARE IN THE ENDERCHEST

NOOOOO

Oh this is so painful to watch man i feel like im gonna die

Oughhhhh the discs.. ...... even aftrr all this time

At this rate its gonna take me like 10 hours to watch this hour long stream man

Okay he kept cat and mellohi

OHHHHHH WHAZ THE FUCK WHAT THE FUKC

Bro look att them just watch. sickos

Oh yeah baey its monologuin time

What if its just the snake monologue. like word for word

Maybe thats just me but "I dont have anything to say to you" from Tommy followed by a long ass pause and then "I have a lot to say to you" from Drea has the same kinda vibes as "I dont think about you at all" from Wilburs fanfic

"I hadnt bothered you for months!! I just left you with lifelong trauma!!"

"Bro, I was too busy trying to ruin the lives of these other guys to even try gaslighting you again!!"

Im trying to discern if Dream actually believes the bullshit hes saying or if this is another manipulation attempt rn this is so fascinating

Oh boy philosophical discussion about death time

Ok nvm i think

Cmon white boi tell me about the meaning of life

Dream is basically like "oh why does this stupid shit matter so much to you when theres immortality and life after death" and its like okay, but why would you wanna live forever if you cant even enjoy yourself though. Like, what are you doing this for if not so you can go hang out with your friends in peace and have fun forever

Bro Dreams actually the kinda guy who goes "well, why shouldnt i be god" without a hint of irony

Dream is about to actually lose it man

Why are they all talking about death as though they have absolutely no idea what happens after you die permanently? Like, both Wilbur and Ghostbur talked about what limbo was like to anyone who listened and Dream was literally JUST dead. Like yeah, it was only for a few minutes but if the conversion is 1 day on the smp = 1 month in limbo then he mustve spent atleast a few hours if not days there right

What are Punz' opinions about all this does he want his boytoy to be god. is he familiar with the god that looks exactly like his boytoy

"while you were recovering from the lifelong trauma i gave you I was studying the meaning of life"

I spent the entire day yesterday just watching musical bootlegs on youtube and all i can think of rn is that part in Twisted where Aladdin is like "im gonna break the chain! youll see!! Im gonna live forever!!!"

Imagine pouring your fucking heart out about what you think ks the meaning of life to two teens that you kidnapped and one of them just goes "what kinda life is that" i would start crying

"We want a life without mystery" where is your fucking whimsy bro

You know, if Sam wasnt basically responsible for Dream being tortured and Dream didnt break him down as revenge, the two of them and Punz couldve been a real death defying power trio. And then i guess Tommy, Tubbo n Philza would be the death defyer-defying power trio

what do you MEAN not contribute anything by just walking around on the dream smp??? HOW is the Dream SMP connected to any other place??? HOW IS IT CONNECTED TO FUCKING UTAH

"We need to be alive together to find out what life is" youre never gonna know if you dont die though. Especially because like, theres no such thing as heaven in this world, its life and then you die and then its hell for eternity so you gotta make life heaven but the only way to truly appreviate and comprehend that the life youve made is heaven is to think about it in hell, if Im making sense here

I would love to watch these guys try to have this discussion with Philza that would be soooo interesting

HE CALLED HIM A BUG AGAINNNNNN

the victim complex is strong in this one

Ohhhhhh the bois are fightinggggggggg

Hey, is Dream gonna address that fact that the actual capital g god of this world looks exactly like him any time soon. because that seems relevant

Oh my god this kind of dehumanization of the people around him is so painfully relatable it hurts im in pain

Bro how is he bringing up Ranboo right after bringing up Foolish but not yknow, DREAMXD

Okay Im gonna b real with yall, Ive been having a pretty good time with this vod and this finale so far but now hes bringing up mind control and the stuff with Ranboo and Im not a fun uh uh absolutely not

Alright so, they revealed that the revival book can do mind control as well, ive read spoilers about this and i was desperatrly hoping that I just misunderstood but sighhhhhhhh, no.

This is so fucking stupid man. The revival book was a really good concept because of how simple yet effective it is and how scary it would be for someone like Dream to have it, it doesnt need any more powers or whatever. Obviously the stuff with Ranboo being controlled by Dream to some extend has been planned for a really long time, and it does make sense, but they shouldve gone about it way differently. My fix is simple: bring DreamXD into this.

Like, right now it doesnt seem like Dream and DreamXD are connected in any meaningful way when Dream couldve been like, idk a worshipper of DreamXD who eventually earned his favor, or just a human that DreamXD thought was interesting and wanted to help occasionally so he'll keep entertaining him. Maybe he gets the revival book and immediately tries to test it out and then DreamXD appears and hes basically like "okay, i wont kill anyone for you or destroy anything or get too involved in all your petty mortal squabbles, but if you call for me I'll help you out bc Im so nice XD dont rely too much on me tho or else I'll kill you XD" and Dream is like "k i'll keep that in mind" and then when Ranboo shows up he calls for him like "okay, can you make me like, a mindlink to the new guy so I can control him" and XD is like "okay, sure, I wont help you anymore though" and Dream agrees and thats that. Maybe DreamXD is even like "Im still rooting for you though XD" and then Dream could bring up the fact that god is on his side during this unhinged monologue

Okay, when hes saying 'other dimension' is he talking about limbo or is it like, the real world that has the Utah that Wilbur went to and everything

Ohhhhhhh hes talking about the End uh yeah, no way man DreamXD is gonna put a stop to your foolishness so quickly if you try to go there

HE WAS IN LIMBO BEFORE???

Okay, the fact that both of them have been to limbo really takes a certain edge away from their motivations though

Like, if they hadnt known what death was like and just feared it because it was the End of Everything that wouldve been so interesting and then Dream died and came back to tell Punz about it and how its nothing but suffering that wouldve made it feel a lot more human if that makes sense because sure, i just spent a bunch of time poetically philosophically whinging but at the end of the day I wouldnt wanna die just to spent eternity in a hell made specifically for me yknow

I slept 8 hours today so Im perfectly well rested as Im writing this but honestly, at this point I'd rather be sleep deprived and delirious itd make this go by way faster and make it more fun too

Oh my god please tell me its not gonna get meta

They were in the End?!??!? Bro are they gonna bring up DreamXD anytime soon

Im serious how are they not gonna bring up DreamXD cc!Dream knows the lore around him because he PLAYED HIM

Okay so I guess theyre just gonna sacrifice people to make up for them reviving each other over and over? Idk man this is barely comprehensible I feel like i might as well be delirious the only differenfe is im not having nearly as much fun rn

what do you MEAN "whatever god is" YOU SAW HIM WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES. HE GAVE YOU A BELL

I realize that Dream is like, a villain and also clearly mentally ill so Im not expecting his plan or his worldview to make any actual sense but this just seems pointless. Like, if you revive too many people or if you revive yourselves too many times it could bring about the end of the world, presumably bc ya boi XD needs souls to eat. So you need to kill people to balance shit out but if you kill people, its gonna paint a massive target on your back and people will want to force you to revive people. So, you really cant revive people then right

Oh good god what now

Not the guy who was in limbo for maybe a day trying to lecture the guy who qas in limbo for like three months 💀💀💀

If it wasnt for the fact that these guys just hit me with like three massive disappointments all in a row I'd say something like "oh i forgot about this but yeah, I am kinda curious as to why Tommy never came back as a ghost, like even Schlatt was there for a day atleast" but my spirit has been crushed and so all im hoping for is that the explaination isnt too stupid

"We know the responsibility that comes with the revival book! Thats why we kept reviving people even after we knew it was slowly destroying the world!!" Its giving oil companies talking abt climate change yknow what i mean

"The worlds fucked up, we fucked up" BRO. STOP FUCKING REVIVING PEOPLE IT CANT BE THAT HARD

Okay, the stuff about limbo changing based on the circumstances of your death is pretty interesting hopefully they wont fuck it up

Ohhhhh I think I can see where this is going one of these guys is gonna have to die for their buddy isnt he

Okay, im at 27:51 in the vod Ive been at this for atleast two hours Im gonna go take a walk again

Alrighty then time to watch these bozos torment these boys

Bro the dehumanization right off the bat man

Ah so this is that Drunz Sandwich Date ive heard so much about

"You can warn the others about their inevitable doom that is... inevitable" he has such a way with words man

Something something the definition of insanity

Okay but Dream cant be all high and mighty about Tommy and Tubbo doing the same shit over and over because he literally does the exact same thing

Aarhghggh pain and suffering

cc!Tommy just left thats hilarious

Noooooooo Tubbos still in rp mode this is so funny man

Theyre both about to die with the lergy 😭

OHHHHHHH HE STILL HAS THE DISCS HE CAN USE THOSE HOLY SHIT FUCKING SET UP AND PAYOFF BABEYYYYY

ARGRHFHRGFGFREFSHUPEGUSGHI ONE DISC GONE 8NENDISCS GONE

Okay now what. both of the discs are gone now and they didnt hit the pressure plate. I dont think that was planned.

Oh I cant believe this this is so awkward man

NO HE FAILED AGAIN BRUHHHHH

Oh man

Okay theyre just carrying on time to jump through the hole

TUBBOS DEAD???

okay i dont think that was planned either lmao why did they think this was a good idea to do on stream

HES BLOWING SHIT UP????

👁👁 project dreamcatcher??

Right now the thing is, ive read spoilers so i roughly know how all of this is gonna end, I just dont know how we're getting from this exact point to that ending yknow what i mean

Theyre gonna nuke them arent they

NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM

This is so upsetting man

TUBBO WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE THE NUKE??? i mean, atleast they remembered that plotpoint

YEAHHHHHHH SEND THOSE BASTARDS TO HELL BABEYYYYYYY

Ohhhhh Tommys gonna use himself as bait

The only way to destroy gods is to nuke them

THEY DONT HAVE A SCHEDULE, THEYRE GODS

Dude, the Dream SMP as a post post apocalyptic world though

Lets fucking nuke that sonofabitch!!

NUKE TIMEEEEEEEEE

the bench,,......

Okay so theyre gonna kill Dream and Punz and then everyone will be free from them and the revival book but like, what about their ghosts though. I mean, those presumably wont be able to revive anyone but they could still like, harass everyone n shit

Okay but why would no one believe them about Punz being evil now, doesnt he have a reputation for doing whatever for a paycheck and Dream is like, one of the richest guys on the server

Oughhhh watching Tommy tell Tubbo to tell everyone their stories is so painful when you know its all gonna become lost history at some point

Theres no music..........

Okay Im not gonna watch this again from Tubbos pov

#livebloggin dsmp #long post #c!dream #c!tommy #c!punz

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aries-writes-shit · 3 years

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The short end of the stick (Sbi x reader)

paring: c!sbi x reader

prompt/request: n/a

a/n: This is an angst fic. my request are open

you were never that close with your family, they always forgot events of yours or would just straight up ignore you. you would brush it off, beliving that your father Phil and your brothers were too busy. As you all grew up, the cold shoulder towards you only began to get worse.

you sat in your plain bedroom, quietly humming to the music you had playing from your jukebox while you wrote things in a tattered notebook. you heard the front door, then the laughter of your family as they walked off again. you let out a small sigh, you knew they had forgotten about you yet again. you bookmarked the page you were on in the notebook and exited into the living room. You padded into the kitchen, where a single peice of paper with your fathers handwriting sat. you picked up the note and began to read.

me and the boys are heading into the village to get some dinner, we'll be back in a few hours

-Dad

you let a huff of air out as you set he note back down, they didn't forget you this time, they willingly left you behind. you stormed back into your room, hoping to calm yourself down by taking a short nap or reading something. When you got into your room and flopped down onto your bed, a brilliant idea formed into your head. You were going to leave, you were old enough to survive on your own anyways, and your family probably wouldn't give two shits anyways. you began to gather up the few belongings you had into your leather backpack. When you had finished packing, you began to write your "goodbye" note to your family.

when you had finished writing on the sugar cane paper, you placed you note beside your fathers note before gathering a few bread and a few carrots. Without a second glance, you left your childhood home behind and set off in the opposite direction your family had gone earlier.

It had been a few years without any contact from your family and you were very happy with who you had become. you lived a happy, successful life so far in a place far away from your childhood home. Now residing in the dream smp, you began to blossom into a wonderful person who was willing to just sit and listen to whoever came to your door. That was until a blonde boy and a man with brown hair came to your door in the dead of night.

You had been awoken by a loud set of knocks at your front door. You had been assuming it was sapnap or bad again. When you opened the front door with a groggy expresion, it was not any of your friends, it was two of your three brothers. "why are you here" you growled. the two looked very shocked at the fact that you stood infront of them, a few years older and very angry. "i'll repeat myself again" you started "what are you doing here?". the two looked you over, you were taller for sure, your once stark white wings had a more dusty grey tint to them, and your (H/C) hair was now (shorter/longer). "(y/n) , is that really you?" wilbur asked, dumbfounded. "yes it is, now answer my damm question". The two looked at eachother, tommy was unnaturally quiet, but wilbur let out a short sigh and began to explain why they were there at that hour.

"you want me to join you in your new country" you asked dumbfounded. you couldn't belive that after going this long without any sort of contact whatsoever, your brothers had the audacity to ask you for help. "Sorta" wilbur mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as the two boys shifted on their feet. "no" you replied flatly, glaring at the two "why should i help you when you never did anything to help me?" your arms now folded across your body, your face tightening into a scowl. "it was so long ago (y/n), why are you holding a stupid grudge against your family" tommy snapped, shouting at you. all those years ago, you would have flinched away, but you had changed, you were no longer afraid of them. you picked up your sword dream gave you and slung it over your shoulder "get away from my home, your not welcome here" your voice was filled with a hostility the two never saw from you " if i see you two anywhere near my home, i wont hesitate to use force" you threatened. the two left as soon as soon as you closed the door, you stayed up a little while later to make sure they had left.

it was almost a full moth of peace since your brothers had decided to visit, you currently sat kneeled in your garden, weeding your plants when a winged shadow loomed over you, and next to that shadow was a very familiar piglins shadow.

"why are you here" you snapped, standing up and facing your father and your brother. "we just wanted to see you (y/n)" philza explained, holding his hands up in a defensive manner. " i dont care if you wanted to see me" you stated, raising you voice at the two intruders "you lost that right a long time ago" you shouted. "Calm down, your over reacting" techno huffed, crossing his arms as he made eyecontact with you, your (e/c) eyes begining to gloss over. "No, im not going to calm down, i tried to be curteous to you all when i lived with you, but you took advantage of my pushoverness for your own fucking gain" your voice was now a waivering shout. the two men infront of you took a step forward, causing you to step backwards. "dont" you growled, your grey wings pressing against your back tightly "You lost your chance with me when you decided i was no longer good enough for you". You straightened yourself up, hot tears had begun to roll down you face and it made you feel weak. "i was so envious of you all" you muttered, facing away from the two " i wanted something like that with someone, anyone, but i almost never left that clearing" your voice was a soft whimper now, The tears continued to cascade down your face" and now that i finally have my own life and cut my attachment from you, you show up again expecting forgiveness" you turned just your head to look at them,your eyes already puffy from crying " leave now" you said, your voice dangerously low " this is your only warning"

#sbi x reader #sbi fanfic #x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #philza x reader #techno x reader #tommyinnit x reader #wilbur x reader

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beaglesfoundindumpsters · 3 years

Text

ok i really really want techno and tommy to crash tommy’s funeral, whether it be on accident or on purpose.

like, imagine if the funeral is on tubbo’s birthday-

wait

IMAGINE IF THE FUNERAL IS ON TUBBO’S BIRTHDAY

AND LIKE TOMMY WANTS TO GO TO LMANBERG “BUILD MORE SECRET BASES” BUT HIM AND TECHNO BOTH KNOW THAT HE JUST WANTS TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TUBBO

AND THEN, TECHNO FEELS SYMPATHY OR SOME SHIT AND HE’S LIKE, “fine, we can go.”

THEN LIKE, THEY WALK INTO A GATHERING OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN BLACK CLOTHING AND THEYRE SO CONFUSED

Tommy: Why are they all gathered here? Techno: I dunno, maybe tubbo’s birthday party. Tommy: But, they’re all wearing black. Techno: I can see that Tommy. Tommy: Oh, and Phil’s there. Wasn’t he on house arrest? Techno: Yeah... I feel like if he got let out he would tell us. Tommy: Even ghostbur’s there! And, he looks super confused. Maybe we should go get him.. yunno, be good brothers. Techno: Shut up, we can’t control him. Tommy: Bitch. Techno: I hate you.

and ranboo is hanging near the back of the crowd and hears techno and tommy and as he sees them his eyes widen and he desperately gestures for them to go away

Tommy: Why is Ranboo waving at us? *waves back* Techno, already slapping Tommy’s hands down: We aren’t supposed to drag attention to ourselves.

Phill, who’s also near the back, sees where ranboo’s looking and, he just about bursts a blood vessel.

Tommy just waves again, and this time techno just rolls his eyes in annoyance.

And, of course, in true tommy fashion, tommy drinks an invisibility potion to go to talk to ranboo/phil about what’s happening. Techno just sits there like, “hes gonna get himself killed. im going to be an only child.”

but, tommy walks out there no problem.

once tommy gets to ranboo, he lightly pushes ranboo to let him know hes there.

Tommy: whats going on? Isnt is tubbo’s birthday? why is no one celebrating Ranboo: get out of here tommy!!! Tommy: but, its such a good day for minor terrorism :(

meanwhile techno just says, “screw it” and drinks an invisibility potion to talk to phil.

Phil: techno, you and tommy couldnt have chosen a worse time to come here!! get out, or we’ll all die!! Techno: all of us, or just me and tommy Phil: anyone who knows your alive!! Techno: doesnt everyone know were alive? Phil, visibly distressed: just get out!! ranboo can go explain to you guys later

Then tubbo’s voice starts giving a speech

Tubbo: i’m really gonna miss him. he really was the best friend i ever had. i cant believe i havent talked to him for weeks now.

cut back to ranboo and tommy

Tommy: oh, so its a funeral! also, i thought i was the best friend he ever had... Ranboo: I mean, you’re right...

now to techno and phil

Techno: who died? Phil, not wasting any time: tommy. Techno: wait what

Tubbo: I really wish things had gone differently. I wish i visited him. i wish so much, but now hes gone forever.

then, like right then, tommy’s potion wears off and ranboo, phil, and techno are like, oh shit.

Tubbo notices first, being the only one directly facing the crowd, and his face drops as he starts crying. everyone else is slightly confused at first, but then they turn around and see tommy, standing next to ranboo and they all just sit there for a few moments.

and of course, that’s when techno’s potion wears off.

everyone’s attention turns to him now, and everyone starts rushing to hug tommy and/or rushing to kill techno.

ghostbur just starts yelling at tubbo: i told you hes not dead!! i saw him yesterday with technoblade! i told you!

dream, having no reason to believe that tommy was alive is amazed too. and, to see tommy look normal and happy, it was weird to see after all the manipulation dream put tommy through

anyways, sbi+ranboo run for their lives. phil and ranboo, technically have betrayed the country, and techno and tommy being banned. and, of course, tommy gets to perform his minor terrorism. and hes finally happy

poor tubbo though

this makes no sense dont blame me, i wrote this at four in the morning

#dead tommyinnit #tommyinnit #tubbo #techoblade #dream #philza #ranboo #ghostbur #wilbur soot #sbi #sleepy bois inc #dream smp #tommy funeral #THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR #WELCOME HOME THESEUS #tubbo's birthday #antarctic empire #dadza #happy tommy for once

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k3rm1e · 3 years

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hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

sickly

:^) anon my beloved;;;;; i love your brain. this could go two ways depending on whether you’re staying with phil or if you guys are online so i went with your staying with him. i also did a one shot but if you want hcs i hv no problem writing some :) i hope this is good!

cw: cursing

mumza and dadza take care of you:

it had finally happened. while covid wasn't fully over just yet, many had gotten the vaccine and conventions were opening up again. which meant two things: meetups and twitchcon. finally, you could meet some of your supporters and see your friends.

“mom, are we almost there?” your mom was driving you to the airbnb you’d be staying at with a few of the other dream smp members. at first, you assumed you’d all be staying in separate hotel rooms. but, this way, you could spend more time with friends, save money, and your mom wouldn’t have to be with you the whole time. there had already been many long conversations between philza and your mom to make sure you’d be safe staying with everyone.

“yes, sweetie. almost there. we’re just two minutes closter than when you asked earlier.” ok, sue you, maybe you were a bit excited. but really, who could blame you? making in person friends had never been easiest, so the majority of your friendship were with people online. not being able to see or meet anyone for so long had been excruciatingly painful.

within ten minutes, you had finally arrived at the airbnb. quickly jumping out you ran to the door, obnoxiously ringing the doorbell. through the door, you heard an accented voice yell out, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”. at this point you were springing up and down on your tippy-toes, ready to spring out of your skin.

the door opened and you were greeted by a very tired and annoyed looking wilbur, “hello?”.

` “WILBURRRR!!!” you were screaming in his face (unintentionally), waking him up from his drowsiness. you launched yourself in his arms, not paying attention to your mother’s bewildered expression. you quickly let go of him and shoved past him, “i’m gonna go say hi to everyone!” distantly you heard wilbur begin to talk to your mother, explaining what you guys were doing.

while running around you said hi to tommy, tubbo, ranboo, eret, fundy, niki, techno, phil and kristin. the others were either staying in another airbnb or in their own hotel rooms. after about thirty minutes, wilbur had finally stopped talking to your mom.

“yes, ma’am. i can promise you they’ll be completely safe. you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” wilbur was calmly talking with your mother, looking more and more tired by the minute.

“alright. thank you.” your mother called you over. “come give me a hug and say bye!” slowly dragging your limbs over, you let her hug you. behind you you could hear wilbur and phil laughing at you.

“bye mom…” she was holding onto you tightly, petting down your hair.

“oh, sweetie, i love you so much. i’m so happy you found something you're passionate about and made so many lovely friends while doing so.” as much as you loved your mom, the small snickers behind you were getting quite embarrassing. you could hear that tommy had joined in on the laughing.

“... i love you too, mom. can you let go now?” you tried pulling back, but all she did was pull you closer.

“oh, but i just don’t wanna let you go. i love you so much, you know that right?”

“i know, mom. i love you too. but you’ve gotta get home and i have to unpack and get ready for meeting with fans tomorrow.” you finally got her to pull away, “i love you mom, okay? thank you for letting me do this.”

“oh, i love you too, sweetie.” and with that, your mom left. after watching her pull out of the driveway and down the street, you whipped around.

“not. a. single. word.” you stared dead in the boy’s eyes, seeing just how much wilbur was about to burst out laughing.

“what? personally, i think it’s very sweet.” tommy was smiling, purposely pissing you off. “so sweet, how much your mom loves you.”

“shut your fucking mouth, tommy.” you stared deadpan at him and began walking inside and over to the kitchen.

“what? i didn’t say anything wrong! i was just simply commenting on your very, very sweet relationship with your mother.”

kristin moved forward to talk to you, “for what it’s worth, i do thing you hae a very sweet relationship with your mom.”

“thank you. you’re the only good one in this house, kristin minecraft.” with that she laughed, and you all continued on with your evening. after staying up late watching old youtube videos, you all went to bed. in the morning you would have your first day of three at twitchcon, meeting fans and other creators alike.

for around 10 hours, you stood in booths signing fanart, prints, notebooks, and the like. meeting so many different people was eye opening, just learning who supported you. at the end of the day everyone went to a restaurant to eat dinner after so long.

“this food… is so… fucking good.”

“agreed.” you and the rest of the so-called ‘bench trio’ were eating at what wilbur had deemed the ‘kiddy table’. after eating so much food you were all tired. the rest of your friends had already left, walking back to the airbnb. when it was finally time to leave the restaurant, it was pouring rain.

“WHY IS THE RAIN SO COLD IT’S LITERALLY SUMMER”

after running home you had gone to sleep while the others had changed and taken showers. after sleeping for around ten hours, you had finally woken up. frankly, you felt like dogshit. you could barely breathe out of your stuffy nose and your head felt like it had been shoved full of wet cotton balls.

instead of staying in bed, you got up and tried to get ready. on the way downstairs to get food and see who was making so much noise, you fell face first down the stairs. “owwwww…”

hearing a ruckus, phil and kristin left the kitchen, where they were making pancakes. “holy shit! are you alright, mate?”

pushing phil over, kristin walked over to you, “obviously they’re not okay phil! the poor kid is lying on the floor.”

slowly getting up, you try to reassure both of them that you’re okay. “no, no, no, don’t worry. i am perfectly okay.” while you don’t know exactly how you sound, based on the expression on phil’s face, you don't think you sound very good.

“uh, yeah, how about no. you sound like you’ve draken a whale bottle of vodka.” phil walked over to you and grabbed you by the arm, trying to hold you up.

“i’m fineeee”

“no, your fucking not. you’re burning up.” phil looked at you, angrily. “you need to go to bed.”

“but i don’t wannaaaaa. i feel fineeee.” you felt like crying, for absolutely no reason. with that, you passed out on the floor.

phil and kristin somehow managed to get you back up the stairs and into bed. once you were safely in your room, with no risk of cracking your skull open, phil took your temperature. “mate, your temperature is at nearly 102°. you’re lucky i don’t take you to a hospital.” he started at you, disapprovingly.

“i’m sorryyyyy dadza. are you mad at me?” in your deluded state you pouted at him, like a child.

“no, i’m not mad at you. just disappointed. you should’ve known not to do that. you’re old enough to know when you’re sick.” he stared at you with a disapproving look.

“but that’s even worseeeeee” you felt like balling your eyes out. out of embarrassment, you tried to hide under your blanket. “can you tell mumza i’m sorry for worrying her?”

above you, you heard phil laugh. “it’s not that big a deal, kid. i’m just upset. you could’ve seriously hurt yourself. i was worried.”

“you were worried about me? awwwww, i love you too dadza.” you moved your head out of the blankets, smiling at him with dried tears and sweat on your face.

“yeah, yeah. now shut up and go to bed.”

kristin walked in, hearing what he said. “phil, don’t bully the kid. they already feel like shit.” out of the corner of your eye, you saw her look over to phil and smile at him.

“i’m not doing anything, swear on my life!” he put his hands up in defense of himself, making you laugh.

turning away from him, she directed her next question towards you. “how you feeling, kid? took quite a tumble there.” she smiled at you and ushed your hair out of your face.

“i’m sorry for worrying youuuuuu. i love you, mumza. promise.”

laughing, she leaned down to kiss you on the head. “love you too, kid. now, want me to sit with you and we can all watch some netflix or something?”

you silently nodded and the two of them joined you on the bed, not caring very much if they got sick. after not even an hour, you all passed out.

a few hours later, everyone returned back from the convention. let’s just say wilbur now had some very valuable blackmail.

hope you like it! this was so wholesome i- wfowcsjvri

i want parents like dadza and mumza now

#:^) anon #mcyt x reader #philza x reader #mumza x reader #is that a tag?#idk

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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 3 years

Text

Laid out cold, now we're both alone (part 2)

A/N: Hello, this fic is very important to me because I tried my best to give justice to such a cool idea and I hope I did a good job. Plus I don't do multichapter ofter, so this was a challenge.

I wanna thank the lovely @livdonna for proofreading my work, you're literally the best <3.

P.S. If you want to get tagged in the next chapters, let me know.

Summary: Nikki visits Mick to give him a very important task.

Warnings: Major Character Death,Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug Use, Angst, Overdose.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee

Chapter 1

Taglist: @slashscowboyboots @witchytombstonesmile @arnold-layne @emometalhead @i-dont-like-rice @nikki-sexx @smokeandmirrorz

Mick was supposed to not give a shit about Nikki. He and the stupid drummer had tormented him and his wife for months on ends, making the whole tour a living hell and he didn’t need to have even more things to worry about. So what if his bassist decided to get addicted to heroin? He was a fucking dumbass but it wasn’t his problem. He would end up killing himself and it wasn’t like Mick could have done something, not when his whole body was torturing him.

The only problem was that he cared, deep down. He cared about the fucker and hearing the news that he was gone forever hit him. He lost one of his friends and the band all together in a day, what would have happened? He hated to admit he was scared about the future, it was hard to imagine Motley Crue without Nikki.

He sighed, turning off yet another discussion about his death. They didn’t call him yet but something was telling him that they had to release a statement soon. Doc was probably freaking out somewhere crying for all his millions of dollars lost.

“Fucking Nikki, you had to die at the worst moment, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… sorry about that, man” A voice incredibly similar to Nikki said, making Mick jump up.

Nikki didn’t feel anything, one moment they were in the ambulance and the other they were on the beach. He was confused for a moment before he remembered that Mick had a beach house, and stared at it for a bit. He didn’t know much about the guitarist, maybe almost nothing but he respected him so much. He was one of the strongest dudes he had ever met.

The weirdest thing about all of this was probably how he was only able to feel certain things, no cravings or sand under his feet as he was walking, yet he would still feel guilt, fear, love, worry… it didn’t make sense but he wasn’t in the mood to question the universe’s rules.

People can’t see you until you decide to show yourself. You have to remember or otherwise they can’t hear or see you.

The voice still freaked him out, but at the same time he was grateful for it to be there… it made him feel less alone, which was great considering how he felt lonely for his entire life.

“You’re not alone Nikki, I’ll always be there with you, through highs and lows”

“God it sounds like a marriage vow, T-Bone”

“Well if I could I’d marry now…”

He shook his head, trying to get the memory out. It wasn’t the time to be sentimental and risk fucking everything up, so he walked ( more like flew) through the front door and found Mick sitting on the couch.

“Fucking Nikki, you had to die at the worst moment, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… sorry about that, man”. The bassist hoped that he was heard, otherwise it would have been pretty embarrassing.

Mick visibly jumped at hearing Nikki’s voice and quickly turned around to look at him. From his widened eyes and confused expression, he knew he probably looked fucking transparent.

“Okay first of all why the hell are you here talking to me if you’re dead? Then why the fuck can I see myself through you ?”

The black haired man just realized that he had no idea how to explain everything and be believed, he just went along with whatever the voice in his head was saying, but now it was different. He fumbled with his hand and realized he couldn’t feel them, while he tried to come up with the best way to explain to his friend how he was a ghost and why he was there.

“I died… I have no idea how I came back but I have unfinished business and I need to talk to you!”

The guitarist looked at him up and down, clearly skeptical. However, there wasn’t much arguing… Nikki’s ghost was literally standing in front of him.

“Okay I have no idea if this is a dream, I’m dead or in a coma, or simply I drank too much but now I’ll grab some vodka and you’ll spill your little secrets as you like”.

Nikki smiled a bit… He honestly felt normal for the first time since he was brought back. Having Mick joking was so familiar, usually Tommy was the aim of his jokes and they all laughed because they were all so unexpected…

Tommy. Thinking about him still hurt, again he wondered if he was okay and how much he missed him… but it wasn’t his time now. He had other things to talk about as Mick came back into the living room with his glass.

“Mick… you gotta promise me that you won’t let Motley Crue die, that you will fight to keep the band’s legacy.”

The older man looked at him surprised, rolling his eyes.

“Well that’s a bit hard when our bassist and songwriter died!”

Rage and resentment were heavy in his voice but there was more : fear and sadness. Nikki felt guilty and he fucking hated it, it was so unlike him but he couldn’t help it… Mick cared about the band as much as he did. He always said the band was his life, before heroin came into the picture, but it was also Mick’s and he probably destroyed everything.

“You will find another one, another bassist who is also a songwriter…” The words felt so foreign coming from his mouth. They even hurt a bit but they were necessary.

“I know you care about this band as much as I do, Mick. I know how much you’ve worked your ass off in shitty bands, trying to find the one that was going to break… I might be dead but Crue can’t have the same fate”.

Mick scoffed, taking a long sip of his vodka.

“It’s not easy, it’s not like we can find the perfect match like we did. Plus, everyone will probably hate him for replacing you!”

The frustration was almost tangible, but there was something else… Mick was scared, he knew everything was about to fade away because of Nikki’s actions, he was already looking at the boat sinking. Nikki started to panic because his band had to live, even in his death! It was pointless and selfish but that was the only thing people could remind him of.

“If you give up, then Vince and Tommy will do the same! I know that you think no one will take you, but the truth is they will. Crue is what it is because of our vision, you are part of it and I’m asking you to keep it going. Think of this as my dying man’s wish… even if I’m already dead”

The older man’s grip on his glass got tighter, his eyes lost in thought as he was pondering Nikki’s words. It was hard to take in, hell that was an understatement, it was fucking insane and probably wouldn’t work but the bassist needed to have this false hope.

“It’s so fucking weird, you know? To realize you’re fucking dead yet here talking to me.”

He was deflecting, Nikki knew it, but didn’t want to push it too far. He learned to know Mick, he kept his promises and he was a hard worker and with a good dose of luck and jokes, you got him to your side.

“Yeah, do you remember how I said you weren’t going to make it in that interview? Well, karma hits like a bitch!”

“Mick might not make it , he drinks a little too much and it looks rough” Mick quoted, trying to imitate Nikki’s voice.

“Yeah and then you said something like I heard what you said and you’re dead, fuck I guess you were right” He laughed but Mick didn’t.

Oh c’mon so what if he was joking about his death? It’s not like anyone really cared about him. They just saw him as a burden, which he was. Not his mom, nor his band or his Tommy would have really missed him… they would eventually move on.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” He said annoyed but his lips formed a small smile.

“I know, I know. Mick… please promise me that. If Crue is going to end, then my whole life didn’t mean anything! Ple…” He stopped himself, he was so fucking close to begging but he couldn’t. Nikki Sixx didn’t fucking beg, not in life or death.

“I’m thinking about it!”

He really meant the first part. He spent all his teenage and adult years creating the band of his dreams and making sure they conquered the world. This band was his escape; his attempt at redemption after his shitty childhood. Nobody loved Frank Feranna but he didn’t care, he would become Nikki Sixx and be super fucking famous!

He didn’t need anyone’s love, except that he did.

“ I love you, Nikki.”

“ No you don’t, nobody does, T-Bone”

“Well I fucking do. You gotta pass on my dead body before you’ll hear me not saying it over and over”

His heart might have stopped, but he still felt the big wave of nostalgia hitting him. He couldn’t do it, he would have never been ready to see him again.

“Okay, I will. But listen to me, it won’t be easy and I’m an old man with a fucked up back, so don’t send demons against me if I fail!” The little spark of determination in his eyes relaxed Nikki, he was on board.

“I fucking knew you were the best, Mars! If I wasn’t dead I’d probably tattoo your face on me as a thank you!”

“Oh gross, never say that again!” He pretended to be disgusted but his eyes betrayed him, the small softness in them told Nikki he felt touched.

“Who knows, maybe in hell they have tattoos for the ghosts. God we used to hate each other and now we are two peas in a pod.”

“I still hate you.”

“Ugh, you crushed my heart Mick”

The guitarist flipped him off, rolling his eyes. Nikki desperately wanted to keep talking, if he did then he could have pretended nothing changed, right? He didn’t have to face Vince and Tommy and go through the light… everything would have stayed the same or he could fool himself that it would.

I think it’s time to go to the next person.

The voice was demanding yet still calm. Nikki knew that he couldn’t stay forever, they had to prevent spirits from just lingering into the real world like that, it made him a bit angry but he understood it. It wasn’t like he could have done much anyway…He was just a shell of what he used to be.

“I gotta go Mick…” He wanted to punch himself because he sounded so fucking pathetic, but the other man gave him a compassionate smile.

What he fuck are you, a little small puppy? Oh look Frankie is scared to leave his illusion of a family.

Mick walked him to the other without saying anything, but before turning the handle, which was pointless because Nikki could have just passed through the door, he broke the silence.

“Try to give us some signs, okay? Show us that you’re there… but don’t you fucking dare spill my vodka or I’ll make you two times dead!”

“Oh that’s exactly what I’ll do, thanks for the suggestion!”

He stepped outside and looked at Mick one last time.

“You promised, alien. You gotta do it!”

“Yeah yeah, you better repay me when I come to join you there…” And with one last look, Mick closed the door.

Nikki felt all of the weight crushing down on his body, even if it was made of air. He simply stood still, his mind racing like a freight train, trying to take everything in but also getting ready for his next move… being overwhelmed was an understatement, he felt peeled down like an orange and this was only the beginning. He felt like a fucking coward but he just wanted to get over it, was it that bad to accept his fate and disappear without facing anyone?

You are going to abandon him again? You know why you need to talk to Vince, and you know this will be your last chance to see him, asshole!

He went to kick the sand, but he couldn’t touch it. God, how frustrating was that!

So where are we going next?

Nikki would have wanted to scream at him, give him the middle finger and just run away but it wouldn’t have been helpful, would it? So he forced himself to be as neutral as possible.

“Vince Neil. Take me to his house.”

#nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #mick mard #vince neil #motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #80sRock #80s rock band #fanfiction #my writing #tommy lee x nikki sixx

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ninjas-and-coffee · 3 years

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WU SUCKS but not the reason you think

I'd like to preface by saying Wu has made a lot of mistakes and should be held accountable. But like the main arguments against Wu be like.

1: Morro

2: Traumatizing kids

3: Keeping secrets

4: Mot treating his nephew like is damn nephew.

5: Flirting with his brothers wife.

And the thing about that needs talked about. 1:Morro. First off getting kids hopes is not cool. It can be detrimental to development depending on the age of the child. BUT. Not a single soul told Morro to train tirelessly for 60+ years after his death to take revenge and be the green ninja. Absolutly no one. Wu had compassion for his failings and wanted to show Morro he could still he great without being the green ninja. But the little brat ran tf off and got trapped and died. And he got cursed, how- we dont know. But its implied that it's either intentional entrapment or you have to be a terrible person, guess which category he probably falls into. Mind you Wu also told our OGs that they could also be the green ninja and none of them went off the rails to settle some invisible score. Morro made his choices and he made shit ones. Wu was an influence but not the problem. Morro is unstable, dramatic, and holds grudges Wu didnt cause that.

2: the traumatic experiences the nina go through are also not exactly his fault. He didnt just pick them off the streets. THERE WAS A PROPHECY. Ok? Yall with me. Fate isnt uncontrolled by anyone the ninja needed to be trained to help Lloyd fight the Overlord. That wasnt his decision. And yall act like the ninja couldn't leave whenever they wanted to. He didnt gaslight them or belittle them in anyway that wasnt for teaching. Please bring me receipts if you think otherwise. I do admit he could help a little more, be more clear, but when has a old magic teacher character ever been straightforward. With that logic fuck Dumbledore, and Gandalf, and any wise old teacher that goes to find chosen one who once again are chosen by fate not the master himself. Yall literally cant blame Wu for Child's Play and you cant blame Wu for their experience with Nadakhan either. The enemies that go out of there way to attack the ninja are not a direct cause if Wu himself. Usually. It be like blaming Garmadon for Chen. Yes they had history but it's still not his fault

3: Secrets. I will admit there is next to no reason for keeping secrets from the ninja. Considering history always has kind of score to settle. But considering his age and the apparent imprisonment or death of his past enemies there no way to predict every problem that comes back to screw him over. The Time Twins for example. Yes they came back for Wu. But he did remove their powers and separated them over 20+ years ago. They were not exactly threats to his new students now were they? Again with Aspheera, who was literally locked in a tomb why take the time to educate the ninja on a problem he had no idea was going to come back for him. Same with Morro to a more confusing degree. MORRO DIED. How was he to prepare the ninja for that? Yes please tell me how they were supposed to prepare for a dead guy. I'll wait.........k. he should be more forthcoming with the ninja, about things he knows could harm them, like the Serpentine after Lloyds released them, Chen, the Overlord, the effects of Travelers Tea, Tomorrow's Tea, Oni, Etc. But most of the time the ninja go and do it first then wonder why Wu didn't warn them.

4: His nephew. Wow his parenting sucks. Morro is not his damn child let's start there. Comparing their relationship is unfair. Wu cared for Morro the way he cares for Kai and Nya. He never accentuates a paternal relationship with then. Cause they are students, students he has to train with he intent to send them out onto dangerous battle fields and mind games. He was alone so yes it looks different but it's also a leap to just assume that Wu viewed Morro as his own despite treating him the exact same way as his 6 other students. Now back to Lloyd. Why didnt he get his nephew from Darkleys where it was known he ran away from multiple times? I DONT KNOW. No one does. That is a bad move I can only theorize about. Maybe Misako said something about staying away, maybe he wasnt kept in the loop about his nephews whereabouts due to idk KICKING HIS FATHER INTO HELL. C'mon yall. Now in the later seasons my best guess is that he doesnt know how to differentiate his nephew from the chosen one side and the goofy child side. Hes never had a child and his early relations with Lloyd were scarce and when Lloyd came to live with him. It's not due to some familial obligation, destiny literally called for it. Putting some definite strain on their relationship. I'm not excusing it he should try better, but he'd have to build a relationship from nothing and most people know their immediate family upon birth or during childhood which is not the case here. Wu treats his nephew more like a vessel of power than a person which isnt cool but knowing that the kid might not come back after every fight is a good damper on happy relationships is it not?

5: Misako. Good lord I don't have to explain this one. No excuse. It shouldn't be happening. BUT. After Garmadons death she was a free woman as gross as it is. It's more a flaw on her than it is him she chose to have a baby with one brother and still try to get with the other. And I know it takes two to tango but dont get mad at the idiot that the cheater is cheating with. Be mad at the cheater. The thing people really dont get about love triangles. The "other guy" brings on the questions/options but the person who cant choose or screws with both parties is the one in the wrong. Lloyd seems ok with it. Because Tommy said so. I dont particular give two shits about his take on the show half the time. If Lloyd were actively against it the Wu would probably stop. If the Fsm family acted like a normal ass family we probably wouldnt be here. But their priorities are a little screwy compared to typical nuclear families. Not an excuse just some perspective

NOW, why he is a bad character despite all of those arguments. he chooses to train soldiers rather than care for impressionable teens. Yes the situation called for it but the pressure could he alleviated if he decided to actually help before the world was on fire. He chooses to teach by experience than be upfront. Which works sometimes but not when actual lives are at stake. His trial by fire teaching works but the possiblity it could go wrong is to big to be brushed aside. His seemingly unreachable vault of empathy is hard to swallow. He rarely actually feels things for other people, his lack of enthusiasm when they pull through something hurts to watch. His lack of empathy about raising his nephew to attempt to kill his father is frightening. The pride he demonstrates by choosing not to disclose his past until it's too late is dangerous. He doesnt directly put down the ninja unless he has to and its more implied than anything and is on his students and this fandom for taking it so harshly. He trusts them a lot because he doesnt see them as kids anymore. They are warriors and it was necesary. He should have more compassion. He should be more straight forward, he should try to act like a person and not some ethereal being of elsewhere that doesn't have time to appease feelings or care about people until after hes wronged them. His values are off kilter sometimes which is whatever until it starts to hurt people

But yall need to stop blaming him for other people actions. Morro was a mess to begin with. His problems are in the past because he took care of them already. Misako came onto him. (He should have resisted but he didnt start shit she did). He needs to try to be an uncle alongside being a teacher. He needs to act like a fucking person more than the infinite cache of wisdom and unforeseen unused power that he acts like. And also it's a kids show. How many children think the way yall do?, we're teens/YAs we're reading into things. A LOT which makes everything more complicated. Comments rebuttals open. There's a collection of little mistakes hes made along the way that dont fit into these categories but these are the main reasons I know people hate him and the little things add fuel to the fire. I will legit talk about anything Except for the morro thing I am so tired of seeing it Morro made his choices hes a fucking Villain Wu didnt make him that way being a bitter asshole did that. Thanks for reading!! :3

#ninjago #coffee speaks #lloyd garmadon #fuckin misako #Wu ninjago #discourse #ranting #tw: negative #replies will be on my second account of there are any #trust me i hate him too #morro #tw: aldultery #not art

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sapphire-innit · 3 years

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MD is a trip in SO many ways lmao

HI!! So it's been a while but I was feeling sad about some minecraft boys and it finally kickstarted me enough energy to do this again. For those who haven’t seen this before everything is tagged “dream smp liveblog” if you wanna look back.

I was thinking about rewatching some of the exile vods again to get back into the right headspace but honestly I’m gonna ride this wave while I can and jump right back into it. Maybe when I catch up fully I’ll go back and watch them all in a marathon and see how much I can make myself cry, who knows

Intro out of the way here we go! VOD: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

(rp): oh man I forgot how fucked up his skin was…. And hes drowning again

He’s also lashing out at people in chat and then pulling back “Ranboo: are you alright man” ahhh buddy YOU KNOW HES NOT

….You know. Some of the Dread HAS faded but it STILL sucks when Dream logs in.

“And Tubbo hasnt spoke to me…” :(

But hes still trying!!! Hes gonna make a path!!

Lol what is this melon monstrosity lol the youtube praise Tommy just screamed lmaoo

….Dream YOU can get out of VC 2 fuck off

….just the casual “oh yeah sorry” while he blows up the armor….

“DId anyone come to see you while I was gone” I see you, you obsessive fucker

“Weve become better friends” :/

HI MEXICAN DREAM WHAT AN INTRO THEYRE JUST STARING AT HIM LMAO

Yes BULLY HIM MD BULLY HIM

“WHICH ONES HOTTER” cursed cursed cursed

Lol the tone is so absurd Im having a good time

cc!Dream taking the time to pinpoint the particular restaurant its from lmaoo this man is funny

Lol Mexican Dream just chasing Dream away with Spanish YEAH GET EM MD

Tommys so excited to have someone who might live with him omg

“Borderline my owner” ….

…,,,look I just needed a short hand ok Mexican Dream is too long to type lol

,,,,,I dont know how to process Mamacita asdfsdfsd

SOMEHOW GOT MORE CURSED

Cant believe this is canon lore because it gets. SAD?? What is happening right now

This must have been a great tension breaker for people watching live though. A Nice break. Honestly I have mixed feelings about this being my first stream back lol

…..what are those maps huh? Old Memories huh? Tommy seems actually a bit embarrassed lmao

TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TUBBO!!!!!

Asfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfds these fuckign pictures jesus omg

Somehow this would be more sad if Tommy wasn't blowing out his mic fake crying lmao

…..hey fuck girl Dream though

Is girl Dream canonically Dream or a different character?

“You two are the happiest couple I know” … F for the dream smp where no relationship survives lol Love is Dead

….my heart was racing while Tommy was hiding the rest of the Tubbo pictures…

“Not on my stream you better not!” afdsfdsfsdfsd

Rip Mexican Dream lol Quackity dies to mobs a lot doesn’t he

………..I just got the walls joke F F F

……hi Dream you fucker

HEY BITCH, HEY BITCH BOY!!! YEEEEE TOMMY GET HIM

….. This is why Dream kills MD isn’t it

OUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THAT

MEXICAN DREAM DID JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF TOMMY JEEZ

….. Welp this is turning serious, Tommy is literally trying to distract Dream from chasing MD

The fucking decapitation joke asdfsdfsdf

OH MD WITH THE REAL GEAR!!!

….well that was short lived. As was Mexican Dream, Rest in Pieces I guess

“That was my last friend on the server. And that was his last death” “.......” “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY ~ :D”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Mexican Dream is canonically dead”

….. The serious tone is back for sure ….. Its staring into lava and gaslighting time

Literally just killed his friend and Dream already getting Tommy to say they’re friends…

“He died of a drug overdose” “I watched you kill him” “Noo he died of natural causes” >:(

cc!Tommy really canonizing this just to twist the knife

...hes just standing in the fire :(

………begging him for company.. “I don’t think I have very long left” …….

At least Drista will be fun?

“Its fine, its really his rules now” “After tomorrow, then I think its over”.... This is the pillar isn’t it. The pillar is happening soon

“Tommy can you stop going insane please?” - FUNDY PLS LMAO

Strange interlude with Lazar… obviously Tommy is lashing out but I also feel like there is a bit of back-handedness to his interactions as well. Maybe the only one ACTUALLY only reaching out because of pity..?

Well that was a strange and oddly sad interlude. The middle was just the wildest of rides, but the end still managed to ground it back, mostly. 13 did NOT HURT in that regard honestly lol. I feel like I’ve definitely lost some momentum by splitting things up like this -- my recommendation to anyone watching is Definitely to shotgun it if you can do so safely. Its such a well written arc, even and up to including silly streams like this, and its a shame not to have watched it all at once.

STILL! Looking forward to seeing Drista, that little chaos godling has grown on me quite a bit, not least of all BECAUSE she’s a chas godling with creative mode lol. I’ve also heard thats the other “break” exile stream, so probably a bit more lighthearted (not least of all bc idk how much Drista the person actually knows and or cares about her brother’s block game role play canon lmao)

#dream smp liveblog #dsmp season 2 #dsmp exile arc #tommyinnit #mexican dream #dsmp mamacita #dream smp #abuse tw #gaslighting tw

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harley-style · 3 years

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DREAM SMP Swap AU

Dream = Wilbur : Dream comes into the server to help these two kids who are trying to stir shit up -- why not, right? He's got a fondness for chaos but also very protective and caring over his friends. VERY FOND OF TUBBO. To the point of.. well, brotherhood. Wilbur = Dream : He had a vision, to create a place where people could emancipate -- he's not above being the bad guy to keep that ideal in place. He's charming and self-confident and isn't afraid to use blackmail or get all up in your business. Has dirt on everyone but Dream. Constantly threatens secrets but subtle, yanno? Again, very charming, very persuasive.

Tubbo = Tommy : Still very sweet, but Big Crime often comes out to play more often than not. Also a huge trouble magnet, tried to start a...Honey smuggling empire? For some fucking reason, despite its innocent sounding plan, is a threat to Wilbur's land but no one has any idea why. Tommy = Tubbo : Tommy has an innate fucking fixation on music discs. He's got Cat and Mellohi personally. He dreams of starting up a music cafe/music area...? He and Dream get along swimmingly, Dream actually gifts Tommy a few music discs too, but also pins Tommy with the name discount Dave Strider.

Fundy = Eret : Was convinced earlier on by Wilbur to continue his 'legacy' and ideals. Fundy further grows into a neutral party, doing things only when it benefits him. Is the traitor from the first war. Eret = Fundy : Gets far too involved with stuff and the only way out is if he wiggles through the restraints on him. Yes that's metaphorical.

JSchlatt = Technoblade : Assists through uses of contracts and business deals. Like, hello, Tubbo's Honey smuggling business? He and Dream make an agreement, he supplies Dream and Tubbo with shit, and Dream does favors for Schlatt. Technoblade = Jschlatt : Anarchy lmfao. Was actually brought on by Wilbur in secret. Acted as a benefactor for Dream before turning around and causing chaos in the land Dream Tubbo and Tommy built. Blood for the blood god, only the strongest gets to the top kind of government. There's always fucking pitfights. Oops.

Philza = Callahan : Largely uninvolved in the events, mostly just there to supervise Wilbur, Tommy and Techno. Duh. Callahan = Philza : Has personal history with Dream, tries to convince him not to do the thing that could hurt everyone else. Minimally succeeds.

Alyssa = Niki : Ready to defend her home and her family. Niki = Alyssa : Neutral, but ready to back Wilbur up if need be.

Sapnap = Bad : Arsonist, goes around and burns shit whenever he wants to. His base is a Nether inspired fortress. Also, he has to deal with a Nether problem in reference to the Red Vine problem from the original SMP. Hotlands? LMFAO Bad = Sapnap : Helps when asked. Started out on Wilbur's side, as a favor, but slowly shifts neutral due to the conflict between factions.

Karl = Skeppy : Gets held hostage? That's what preoccupies Sapnap's time. He suddenly disappeears or gets trapped in a cell. Skeppy = Karl : Runs around doing supply runs. Gets his friends into various stints to try and settle the conflict through friendly rivalry and competition. It doesn't always work.

George = Ranboo : Unlike original Ranboo, George is highly unsympathetic and needs concrete fucking facts before he acts, and that kind of backfires on him in the end. As a favor to Dream (how many favors is Dream involved in honestly) he runs messages back and forth from Tubbo to Tommy. Ranboo = George : Largely uninvolved in the conflict, like Niki, but unlike OG George, is not absent. He's just there to assist. One of the most innocent and purest people on the SMP, knows when to keep his head down. When his house burns down, he doesn't really believe its Tubbo who did it -- he knows the kid has been framed because he'd been WITH him at the time, but Wilbur pressures him to admit it.

Quackity = Punz : Wilbur's loyal paid henchman. Quackity will cause shit for the appropriate price, he's not exceptionally picky. That stunt he did as Mexican Dream was great and everyone in L'Manberg loved it. Punz = Quackity : One of the best fighters under Techno. Has more morals, but keeps them secretly. Very good at hiding his true intentions/feelings.

(sorry about the other characters not being on here, i dont know them enough to make swaps, or dont know who they'd make a good swap with. Swap who you wanna swap though! i'd like to hear your take on this matter! HEADCANONS ACCEPTED TOO AT THIS POINT EVERYTHING HERE IS FROM WHAT I REMEMBER AND MY HEADCANONS)

PLOT

-Wilbur starts the SMP with Niki, slowly invites others like Ranboo, Tommy, and Tubbo.

-Tubbo expresses a desire to Fuck Shit Up and Tommy says they can get Dream, he's an expert at getting away.

-Dream is extremely protective of them both. Tubbo more than Tommy but that's fine because Tommy is largely independent.

-Tubbo gets in the weirdest shit but Tommy can roll with the punches really quickly.

-Wilbur gets tired of their crap and burns down Tubbo's establishment. It's like the Disc Wars except it's the Great Honey War. Bee War? Basically he's tired of Tubbo hogging all the Honey related expenditures.

-Dream gets the idea to make a honey smuggling empire, as a joke, but Tubbo is Big Crime and he's going with it. Tommy just wants chaos, and he was getting bored tbh.

-Eventually the Honey thing turns into Resource management, so Tubbo Dream and Tommy have a hold on all major supplies

-Shit happens and Dream, Tubbo, Tommy, Eret, Sam, Fundy and Alyssa establish an independent nation. Dunno what to call it bc the server is called the L'manberg SMP so....

-The fight for indepencence still happens. Instead of 'Green boy' Wilbur is named 'E-boy'. Dream still says "WE HAVE NO MERCY FOR YOU" when Wil calls for a ceasefire negotiation, but Wilbur does threaten the nation saying "If there is no white flag by tomorrow, then you can kiss your sorry little arses good bye. That's my final warning."

-Turns out Fundy's been secretly funneling information to Wilbur in exchange for the safety of his friends, and also because Wilbur's his dad....uhm. Also! He and Dream are circling each other and others are like "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE DEAD RINGERS FOR QUEERPLATONIC MATES JUST MARRY ALREADY" bc I like FundyWasTaken but others might not and its okay, we'll label it as platonic, but can be read otherwise depending on your tastes. But for this, it's very close platonic.

-Wilbur goads Tommy into a fight, as brothers do, but Tubbo steps in and Wilbur fucking jumps at the chance.

-This is the start of Dream's descent into madness. No one fucking threatens or pulls one of his friends like that. Denied. It's still subtle though, so he's okay for now.

-Tubbo and Wilbur face off. When Tubbo pulls back bc he genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone, Wilbur takes the chance and beats him.

-Tubbo, however, makes a deal. Let their nation stand on its own, and he'll give up the Resource Empire he started. Wilbur accepts, with the condition that they unify their alliance with a...marriage? So basically, political marriage between Wilbur's heir, Fundy, and Dream, the leader of the revolution.

-YEAH I WENT THERE THIS IS VALID

-They're strained at first, but Dream and Fundy slowly mend their relationship post-betrayal.

-Fast forward a few months later. The Nation doesn't really have a leader, as per the agreement, but it does have a representative. All decisions are made via majority votes, and that decision is voiced by the rep and sub-rep, Dream and Tubbo respectively. Tommy's just there to have a good time and causes chaos as per usual.

-Enter Technoblade. He's been called in by Wilbur to...ah. Dismantle a little...nation. Sounds right up his alley. But he asks Wilbur to wait and see what happens.

-Tommy and Dream get the idea to hold a tournament to celebrate their independence, an all out brawl for everyone to kick back and relieve stress. There. That's where Techno comes in.

-He gets Punz to join him after like, being paid (ofc) and they fucking dominate the tournament. Dream's about to congratulate them but Techno turns the fuck around and declares his right to rule the nation. If anyone wants to fight him for the title, they're welcome to try.

-Dream loses another life to Techno trying and failing to fight it. He and a few others lost their first life sometime elsewhere? I guess? Probably by being blown up by Wilbur, idk.

-Tubbo and Dream are chased out by people who reluctantly follow Techno's orders, and Tommy, torn between his friends and his brothers, stays behind. Oh jeezus.

-Since Techno is a fighting GOD, no one's able to usurp him to make things turn back to normal. But Dream is smart, and knows Wilbur's 100% behind this. Fundy kind of knew but didn't do shit about it, which is why Dream rejects Fundy's offer of sanctuary. He can't be sure his husband will stay on his side, after all. It's nothing personal.

-Dream and Tubbo hide away somewhere, probably not a ravine but?? A mountain or something? They manage to get Sam away enough to ask him to build a super cool Redstone contraption thing that opens for them. ooooo.

-I'm not good at names but for the sake of jokes I'm gonna call their land the 'Bee's Knees' bc at some point Tubbo finds a fuckton of Hives hanging from Trees. Bee Mountain if Dream's feeling especially salty.

-SPEAKING OF DREAM. his insanity is on course now, it's slowly eating away at him and in fear of hurting Tubbo he's slowly distancing himself away. Tubbo's like what's wrong but Dream can't answer -- he doesn't know what's wrong with himself either.

-Tubbo and Dream need to go back and confront Techno, but they can't wait for long else Techno's going to obliterate everyone and their extra lives. They call Schlatt in.

-Schlatt's a pure business man and draws up a contract. He'll aid them in terms of supplies, but most of the revolution is on them. They agree.

-Tommy is actually really fucking good at lying and skirting around what he reveals to Dream and tubbo as a spy that Techno would have believed him if he didnt' know his brother. and Wilbur's warnings, of course. That results in Techno just being fucking done with Tommy's bullshit and plans his execution in another tournament? I guess?

-It doesn't go like the festival. First of all, Schlatt can't fight for shit, so why would Techno call him up the stage? No, Schlatt fights dirty. techno doesn't set much rules so theres no rule against poisoning Tommy quick and easy before the fight. Tommy loses another life and is on his last. Tubbo is spitting mad, but Schlatt points out that nothing in the contract covered this, so he's free to do as necessary. Tubbo is stopped by Dream who, at this point, is just overtaken by the need to one-up Techno.

-Also, Wilbur's been slowly persuading Dream to just. Let go. Let the monster inside of him free, he 'deserves it'. By the end of it all, Dream does. He snaps and lets loose the monster crying for blood inside him.

-Callahan is left to convince his old friend not to do it. In a moment of clarity, Dream stares on in horror of what he'd done. In his rage he managed to deplete ALL of Techno's lives (not really but shhhh), cause massive bloodshed, and terrified everyone in the process. He asks Callahan to kill him. Callahan does.

-Yes we'll get to Ghost Dream eventually.

-Anyway, Schlatt still does the Wither plan, because, uh, Drunken Rage. He was so stressed out from the ensuing conflict that he's like "LETS JUST FINISH THE REST OF YOU. THERE WILL BE NO CONFLICT IF YOU ARENT THERE TO FIGHT."

-and then he uses the line from the Lego movie on Tubbo like "Oh, Tubbster. It's nothing personal. It's just Business(tm)".

-Schlatt still dies of stroke. He does come back as a ghost though, that's one main difference.

-After everything's said and done, and the dust has settled, everyone decides to disband the nation, and just live their lives. like, they're done, wilbur, they get your point, jfc, let them rest.

-but uhhhh someone frames tubbo for setting fire to ranboo's (the server sweetheart) house. wilbur immediately decides to exile tubbo in 'anger'. acutally, he wants tommy and tubbo separated.

-tommy's not standing for it though, he fucking fights his way until wilbur threatens him and tubbo's like YES FINE OKAY I'LL AGREE TO BEING EXILED STOP THREATENING YOUR BROTHER

-tubbo's exile arc is not as sad as tommy's, but rather very tense because wilbur keeps riling tubbo up and taunting him. he still keeps contact with tommy though because they arent going to be separated just like that. no way. tubbo just gets a little more mad and gets short tempered like a lot.

-ranboo's not even that mad about it, he knows tubbo would never burn his house, there was a conspiracy on board and even if there wasn't he's like "arent yall overreacting its just a house, didnt you all do this like before the first war even began, what even (also, ranboo was WITH tubbo at the time of his house allegedly being set on fire. Not that he'll admit to it, because he and tubbo made that agreement long before)

-eventually he finds out that wilbur just wanted to pin the blame on tubbo to make him leave, and ranboo's like "IM DONE WITH YOUR CRAP WILLBUR STOP HURTING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT" and leaves

-with the nation gone, people started to solidify their groups. sapnap and karl deal with their own thing, quackity still runs errands for wilbur, george is the main person ferrying messages from tubbo to tommy back and forth, etc.

-there's a funeral for dream, ofc, fundy arranged it. all of dream's shit was hidden because fundy doesnt want wilbur to get it.

-niki's still there managing her bakeshop but doubles as an informant for wilbur because she's well liked within the server

-ghost dream is present and he's a chaotic troll who mostly hangs around tommy. he's really hyper active and is always on the move, you can never catch him sitting still for like, 5 minutes

THAT"S ALL I HAVE FOR MY SMP SWAP AU PLEASE BE GENTLE I DONT HAVE TIME TO GET ALL THE FACTS STRAIGHT FROM THE OG SMP qwq

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shoezuki · 3 years

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Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

#mcyt #dream smp #dream smp critical #tommyinnit #dream #im puttin this in main tags took me too fuckin long to write for me Not to #death mention #ask to tag

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alwaysananxiousmess · 3 years

Note

don’t wanna spam my dash at the moment, but i’m still interested

“don’t even get me started on the ex-pod member’s and tommy’s relationship after dream’s death. /j”

no no no, i do in fact want to get you started

you should totally continue /suggestion

it is a shitshow.

ranboo and purpled are the one’s most attached, having seen tommy fight dream for wilbur’s life. tommy, whether he knew it or not, had always been a friend to them, as best they could be with dream monitoring their every interaction. to see him hurt, and so severely hurt, by the person they had followed for almost their entire lives, is devastating.

they feel like they owe tommy, in a way, even they most definitely saved his life by intervening in the fight when dream had struck him down. they’re trying to help the best way they can, providing company, learning to shift, learning to walk, trying to cheer him up and comfort him the way mers usually do (*coughs* cuddles), but tommy doesn’t trust it, doesn’t like it, even.

he hates it when they get near him, because tommy doesn’t like anyone near him. only dream was the one allowed near him for so long, and even with dream dead, old habits die hard. he actively rejects their company, is confused when they start excitedly showing him their walking skills (though watching them fall over is hilarious to him and always makes him laugh, they purposely do it sometimes just to get a laugh out of him).

tommy still doesn’t think that they like him, because they didn’t stick up for him when he was exiled, they didnt hang around him or talk to him or make jokes with him back in the pod, but they’re doing it now, and he doesn’t get it, frankly.

i think during one of the many, many infections tommy would incur because of his wounds (pirate time period, i dont think theyre the most sanitary you know), is when the bubble finally bursts. when a fever ridden, delirious tommy asks purpled and ranboo why they’ve been in the little room he’s staying in, and they explain they care about him and want to make sure he’s okay.

tommy doesn’t like that.

“Since when do you care about me? Since when? You let Dream exile me! You never talked to me or anything when we were in the pod! That’s not caring!”

it turns ugly real fast.

its an argument, but tommy’s sick and he keeps repeating thing he’s already said because he’s delirious as hell. they’re yelling at each other, purpled and ranboo trying to defend themselves and tommy demanding answers. its a small ship, the yelling doesn’t go on for very long before everyone else is in the room and also trying to contribute.

at some point, i think tommy would like… burst into tears, and that’s what shuts everyone up. tubbo would kick everyone out, and right as he starts to leave too, (because tommy and boundaries), tommy would just kinda… grab him and do a mini, very mini mer cuddle pile, which was pretty much tommy laying half on top of tubbo and snoring, while tubbo long-suffering deals with this fishy motherfucker breathing on his face.

tubbo doesn’t dare complain though. this was the first time tommy had ever gotten near someone other than sharing a bunk with him.

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damn-stark · 4 years

Text

The Trouble- Jesse Imagine Pt.2

Jesse x Fem!reader (Not my gif)

A/N- finally got this up!! I hope you all like it! Leave your thoughts?!

Warning- angst, swearing, violence, fluff, LOONNG CHAPTER.

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———-

Why were you even coming to this party?

Oh right because Maria was forcing you to. Now usually their would’ve been a little bit of excitement when coming to events such as these, but lately it just hasn’t felt that way.

Their was usually no one to dance with because apparently people were scared to even talk to you when Tommy or Maria were close by—Which was all the time in dances such as this one.

Mostly all you would do was stand with Ellie in the far corner with a drink in hand. Something that was probably going to happen tonight too. Gosh how—

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” You say after feeling your body stupidly collide with someone else.

“No, it’s okay. It was my fault.”

Your eyes flutter away from the spilled drink to focus on the owner of the familiar voice....Jesse.

A smile appears on both of your faces,“I’m really sorry, Jesse. I wasn’t paying attention where I was going.” You apologize again as you let him down the small flight of stairs to later climb them yourself with intentions to go in the building.

“It’s nothing.” He quickly dismissed, attempting to turn away but before he could adding something else. “And I wouldn’t. It’s lame.”

“Comes from the guy that hates these things.” You chuckle.

Jesse shrugs, “I only go for one thing.” He lifts his now empty cup, making you cringe.

“Sorry, really, I didn’t mean to.”

“I told you it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

You look back at the buzzing party, hearing the music play from the inside and the commotion from the people, gaining some confidence to say the next thing. “I know you just walked out, but come inside with me, that way we can get you another drink. It would be a shame that you left without the one thing you came here for.” You grin.

Jesse looks at his empty cup and then at you for moment before he smiles and somehow agrees; “fine, only because you owe me.”

He walks up behind you and just as you were going to open the door, it flies open with Dina and Ellie rushing out.

“Everything okay?” Jesse questions the pair after noticing their off behavior.

Dina and Ellie go down the small flight of stairs and Dina simply dismisses his worry. “Not now Jesse.”

The first thing you noticed though wasn’t their weird behavior, but Ellie and Dina holding hands.

You look to your best friend and quirk your eyebrow. Ellie simply answers with a shrug before she’s pulled away by Dina.

“That was weird.” Jesse commented.

“Agreed.” You nodded. The both of you continue inside, swiping drinks that were already on the bar, both quietly standing to the side and watching the people dance in the center.

“You sure Maria cleared you for patrol tomorrow?” Jesse queried as he turned to face you.

You nod in agreement, “always with much hesitance, but she did.”

“That’s good.” He comments, watching you admire the people dancing in the middle even if you were turned facing him. In that moment without you realizing finally admitting something to himself about you.

“Yeah, you would miss me too much if I didn’t go. Who would tell you all those funny jokes?” You laugh, taking a sip of your drink and sliding your eyes to focus on him.

Jesse nods with a smile on his lips, holding your gaze as he set his drink down. A song he recognized and liked playing finally making his eyes shift to the the middle before he quickly looked back to you. “Want to dance?”

You quirk one eyebrow and laugh nervously, “are you sure? I thought you hated these things.”

He shrugs all nonchalant, “least I could do for the girl that’s always making me laugh.”

You smile shyly at his comment, feeling the warmth on your cheeks turn hotter. “I would love to dance.” You take his hand and let him take you to the dance floor, carefully placing your hands on his shoulders and letting him place his hands on your waist. The warmth on your cheeks burning hotter.

As the music softly played and Jesse and you swayed along to the beat, you couldn’t help but grin. “You’ve got some moves on you, who knew?”

“You think Tommy would shoot me if he saw us dancing?” Jesse wondered nervously.

You chuckle and shake your head, “is that why no one asks me to dance? Because they’re scared of Tommy?”

“Perhaps.”

“Well you shouldn’t worry about him. The person you should worry about is Maria.” You both laugh, moments later calming down and holding each other’s gaze that created a thick tension. One he partially broke when he spoke.

“You know I don’t think I could go on patrol with anyone else.”

“Why is that?” You asked.

Jesse holds onto you tighter, leaning in closer to respond, “because you’re the best. And I’m not only talking you being the best doctor in this town, but at patrolling, taking down those infected like it’s no ones business.” He smiles, “you’re always leaving me impressed.”

“Is that so?” You lean in closer to the point your noses are brushing against each other’s, your eyes like his flickering below to your lips.

“It is.”

“I think you’re great too.” You compliment, “more than great actually. I wouldn’t want to go with anyone else either.”

Jesse then follows by moving his hand to cup your cheek, not caring if anyone else was watching or caring if the couple he was nervous about earlier watched or happened to be around either. He just pulled you in for a kiss. One you don’t hesitate to return or deepen. A smile felt through said action.

And if neither you remembered where you were, then you both would have let the kiss continue without question—however you couldn’t do such a thing.

Instead you smiled up at him, pressing one last kiss on his soft lips before you leaned your head on his shoulder and continued dancing along to the music.

******

SEATTLE DAY 2

What was their to say about Seattle, beside it being wet, cold, bombed and WET.

How could anyone stay dry in this city?

Who knew.

Jesse hops off the horse and walks into a part of a destroyed building while you wait...and....wait for him to come back, something he never does. So you too get off the horse and carefully walked to where Jesse had disappeared to—at first you were hesitant since he never said it was clear, or that it was fine for you to follow but you did anyway. Slowly.

“Jesse?” Before you could poke your head to check, said man walks out, somewhat surprised you being so close already.

Regardless he gestures you to follow, “come, I found something.”

This time without hesitation you follow after him, noticing the used campfire on the ground.

“Do you think it was one of them?” You ask.

He places his hands on his hips and continues to examine the campfire before answering. “Most likely.”

Seattle seemed like a big place, Jesse and you had barely arrived and have only seen a small percent of it. Downtown Seattle more specifically—you had seen a dead horse under a overpass, it was Tommy’s that much you knew. How long ago did it happen? That was up to debate. The only semi answer you did get was this clue now. But that too set you back. It could be Ellie’s or Tommy’s.

The only thing you were certain of was that you were tired.

“Maybe we should take a break here.” You suggest to your boyfriend. “Theirs wood.” You walk to pick up the log but shortly groan at the disappointment, “wet wood. Never mind.”

Jesse looks outside for a brief moment before glancing back to you, his eyes seeming to be concentrated on you for a minute. Looking deep in thought before he nodded. “Yeah you’re right. We can’t stay long though.”

“I know.” You shrugged your backpack off your shoulders before falling to the floor and letting out an exaggerated sigh. “Do you think we’ll find them soon?”

Jesse takes a seat next to you and shrugs, “I hope so. I keep seeing more and more WLF around.”

“I just hope they’re okay.” You muse before taking out a snack.

“All of them?” Jesse smirks.

You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder with your own; “Yes everyone. Dina might be your ex but she’s still from Jackson. She’s family.” You smirk and meet his gaze, “it’s like you want me to be jealous.”

Maybe you were a little. But you didn’t want to feed his ego.

“Of course not.” Jesse grins as he takes some of your food, shifting himself so he’s laying his head on your lap.

At the memory of something you needed to tell him your grin widens. “Do you want to hear a joke Ellie told me?”

“Okay, shoot.”

Already feeling like lauhing you try and calm down to ask him first, “What is the downside of eating a clock?”

Jesse stays quiet for a moment, his gaze focused on some part of the building as he thinks. “Uhh,” he glances up at you and shrugs, “I don’t know, what?”

“It’s time consuming.”

Jesse shifts up and looks at you with a smile. A laugh shared between the both of you a couple moments after. “That.” He begins after calming down, “that was funny, I got to give it to ya.”

You nod and unintentionally begin to play with his hair—a habit you now figured out you picked up in your down times while traveling over here. And the thing you liked was that he didn’t complain, or protest against it, he just let you. He let you do whatever hairstyle you could on his hair.

Like now for example. He let you carefully braid his hair without fussing or moving. In fact you think he might like it.

“This setting,” you sigh while taking a strand of his in between your fingers to then cross it with another, “makes me want to start a fire and play my guitar.”

“That would be nice.” Jesse agreed, “tell stories, laugh and drink with friends.”

You hum softly and repeat the same action as before except starting on his second braid; “maybe after we get back?”

“No.”

You stop and feel your eyebrows knot together, “no?”

“I just mean, I owe you that date first. A real first date.”

You smile and continue. “You dont. We already had our date.”

“But I want to make it special. My own way, not rushed. Or having to look out for infected.” He argued.

“It was still special.” You finish the braids and rest your chin on his shoulder to continue with his unnecessary argument. “It was rushed, yes, but it was still special. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Plus I don’t think we’re going to have a date in Idaho again.”

“I guess you’re right.”

You place a kiss on his cheek and your smile turns into a mischievous one. “Can we take a picture?”

Jesse looks back at you with a serious face, “no.”

“Come on,” You stifle your giggle as you saw how he looked with his hair picked up. “You look cute and your braids are going to fall out soon. Plus we took a picture in Idaho and Oregon, we need one for Washington too.” You pout your lip and bat your eyelashes. That action winning him over with much hesitance.

And before he could change his mind you take your Polaroid camera and take a picture of the both of you. “Love it.” You whisper once it fully develops.

“Can I see that?” Jesse asks about the camera.

You quirk your eyebrow and put the picture away, debating if letting him grab it was a right choice; “why?”

“I want to take a picture.”

Narrowing your gaze on him you hesitantly let him take it, watching him carefully, a shy smile soon tugging at the corner of your lips when he pointed the camera at you.

“See. Now,” he continues after snapping said picture, “I’ll have one of you,” he smiles as he places the picture inside a pocket of his jacket, “everywhere I go.”

Feeling the warmth on your cheeks you grin before leaning and pressing a soft kiss on his lips, an action he easily returns with more passion. Slowly you cup his cheeks to deepen said kiss, resting your knees on either side of him.

Before things could go any further, distant voices pulls you both away to quickly hide behind the wall—Jesse peeks his head out, letting you do the same seconds after, noticing right away the WLF patches on their jackets. Jesse noticing the same thing grabbed your backpack from the ground and handed to you so you could put it on. Him doing the same with his before taking your hand and tugging you through a hole that was out of sight from WLF soldiers.

“We left the horse.” You whisper as you look over your shoulder when you hear the soldiers find said animal.

“We can’t go back,” he responds in the same whisper whilst he picks up his pace, “we have to leave now that we’re undetected.”

“But—”

“We get caught and we won’t find Tommy, Ellie or Dina.” Jesse Interrupted. “We have to keep going.”

You nod, “okay.”

——

“Where are we?” Your eyes wonder the neighborhood, not only to keep watch for any WLF’S or infected, but route your exits since this man doesn’t want to admit he’s now lost.

“A neighborhood called Hillcrest.” He retorted.

You sighed deeply and watched him from the corner of your eye, “really? I thought we were in the city.”

“We are not lost if that’s what you’re thinking.”

You snorted, “never was.”

Jesse cocked his head to the side, flashing you a charming grin, “good.”

You rolled your eyes in a lighthearted manner, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips thereafter.

“I heard from some WLF soldiers we snuck by that Tommy passed—” the sound of gunshots cuts Jesse off immediately, not sparing another second to pull you down with him and hide behind a wooden fence.

“What the hell?!” You whispered sharply as you snatched your pistol from your holster.

“Trespassers, behind that fence!

“No time, let’s go.” Jesse quickly searched around, having no choice but to sneak in the empty house next to you. The both of you climbed over the broken window to get inside, your eyes frantically searching for a way out, but only finding that the stairs were the only unblocked area. It wasn’t a really smart choice, but it was one you had to take.

Jesse walked ahead of you, quietly checking each room was clear—which it surprisingly was.

Regardless you couldn’t risk yourselves, not in a place swarmed by WLF’S. “We need to find a way out.” You whispered, poking your head out the window to spot four WLF’S entering the same house. “Shit. We got four coming inside.”

Before Jesse could say his idea out loud, the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs made him react quickly to pull you into a closet, pulling you against him as he pressed his back against the wall. One hand covering your mouth while he peeked through the closest’s panels.

The sound of approaching footsteps making your heart hammer in your chest and grab onto the arm Jesse had over your mouth with a firm grip, while with your other free hand gripping onto your pistols handle. Your eyes briefly shutting at the sight of the soldier stopping before the doors, and right when you thought you were going to pass out from the fear the soldier retreated away. A relieved sigh escaping your lips at the knowledge.

Jesse let go of you and slumped to the floor, his hands running through his hair before letting out an exhausted sigh.

“Too late to go back now.” You mumbled as you sat in front of him.

“Yeah it is.” Jesse let out an amused huff of air as he let his head rest on his hands.

“But, we’re here now. Maria is already going to kill me, so we better make this trip worthwhile.” You tried to ease the situation, knowing that this little break wasn’t going to last long and that you were going to have either face those soldiers or sneak by them sooner or later—later being the preferred choice.

“What do you think she’s going to do to us? Kick us out? Ground us from going on patrols ever again?” You continue.

Jesse looked up at you with a tired smile, “she loves you. You’re basically her kid, the most she’ll do to you is make you sleep outside. Me on the other hand, who knows what she’ll do.”

You shrug, “at least I’ll have Tommy to suffer with me. And I’ll make her go easy on you.“

“Right. Well good luck with that, because after she finds out we’re dating, and that I was the reason you left, I think my only punishment will be getting banished forever. That or being shot.”

You giggle and shake your head, “I won’t let her do either of those things. You’re stuck with me now.”

Jesse rolls his head to the side to hide his grin, answering with wit instead of a sweet comment, “well at least then we’ll be banished together.”

“Whatever.” You grin.

——

“I think we can jump from this window and sneak through all these yards.” Jesse muttered as he carefully opened the window, the sound of someone ordering a dog around making both yours and Jesse’s head to turn in that direction. “Shit, I guess we have no other option.”

Jesse’s head turned to you, pointing his head to the window, motioning you to go first.

“Okay.” You mouthed whilst climbing out, your head spinning at the sight of the distance of the window and the grass. “Well...okay. I’m going.” Without overthinking it, you pushed yourself off the window sill and landed on the ground quietly. Shortly after Jesse landed, a little more harsher than you had, but doing so without breaking anything...you hoped. “You good?”

Jesse nodded, not waiting to move to check the surroundings, a limp noticeable as he walked.

“Jesse, you’re—”

“I’m okay,” he interrupted, “we have to go.”

You hesitated for a moment but followed after him regardless, coming to a quick stop seconds after. The same dog as before coming out of the same house, his nose sniffing the area, second by second getting closer to Jesse. So in quick thinking you pulled out your Molotov and lit it, throwing it towards a empty car.

That explosion getting the dogs attention and making its owner and him both run to check the area, letting Jesse and you sneak past another house successfully.

And here you thought that you were going to make it out of this neighborhood in one piece.

A women walked around a corner and caught Jesse and you by surprise. “They’re right here, the trespassers! They’re—” the women’s warnings cut off with a shot through her throat, neither Jesse or you waiting for more to gather around or surprise you to run through another yard, you having to look back to shoot a man on the leg at the sound of him chasing after you.

More ran out of the other houses, having you throw your body to the side to avoid being caught, in that action falling behind Jesse. Said man not noticing right away, not until he heard one of the soldiers shout. “Get her!”

Now you were against killing people if it could be avoided, or if it didn’t call for it all, but their was occasions where you needed to. Where you needed to choose your own safety. Occasions like these—in a swift motion you shot the soldier that was straight ahead and then shot the other one behind you, turning to the side to shoot another one, but before you could even press the trigger, Jesse shot first.

A grateful smile, played on your lips, one that didn’t last before you both were on the run again, having to jump over another window, this time though, successfully landing and finding an empty house. One where no one saw you rush into, a place where you could catch your breath if even for a minute. Yes their might be more shots heard the in the distance, and yelling, but you both needed this. Even for a minute.

And trying to do just that, you hid between the shadows of the house to remain hidden, both hands on your knees as you tried to calm your breathing.

“Are you okay?” Jesse questioned.

You nodded and assured him, “yeah, you?”

“As good as—” the sound of someone quickly approaching made him cut his words off, his eyes focused on the window you just jumped out of, the sight of someone (as expected) jumped out of it too. At first Jesse was going to shoot them, but he holstered his gun and stepped forward to grab said person and pull..her back, a hand covering her mouth as trucks passed.

At first she struggled, but as soon as Jesse shushed her she seemed to calm down—you were nothing but confused, especially since your boyfriend had helped a stranger, but as soon as you walked forward, you saw who it was. Ellie.

Said girl turned around after Jesse let her go, her eyes focused on him for a moment before they shifted to you, a pure look of confusion flashing through her eyes.

“What are you two doing here?” She queried as she blinked repeatedly in disbelief.

“You think we let you do this on your own?” Jesse responded, causing a smile to spread on your lips.

“Y/N...Jesse.”

A smile that didn’t last long at all.

“Where’s Dina?”

No need to be jealous....No need.

“She’s safe,” Ellie assured, “she’s just sick.”

“What kind of sick?” You spoke up.

Ellie’s eyes landed on you to answer, “she’s fine.”

“Fan out! She went that way.”

Jesse and you quickly pulled out your guns at the sound of a WLF soldier.

“Christ, there’s a lot of them.” Jesse mused, before turning around to limp to find a way out.

“Hey, how hurt are you?” Ellie wondered.

“I’ll be okay.” Jesse dismissed, “your friends out there rushed us. No warning, no nothin.”

“Tell me you two didn’t come alone?”

Jesse and you shared a glance, letting you respond to your friends question, “give us shit about it later.”

Ellie scoffed, “you’re both fucking idiots, you know that, right?”

You looked over your shoulder as you continued forward, showing her a smug smile, “yeah.”

Stopping in front of a window, the three of you peeked your heads out and counted the people up front. “See that truck.” Jesse pointed.

“That’s your plan?”

“We need to get some distance,” Jesse continued. “You two ready?”

You nodded and heard Ellie answer, “yeah. Be smart about it.” Before the three of you quietly crouched in the tall grass to hide behind a fence wall, waiting for the right time to sneak attack the WLF soldiers that were in the way of the truck. It was a tight fit with three people in a tiny car, but somehow fit—needed to anyway.

The only damn problem was that the car wouldn’t start. “Give it some gas.” You urged Jesse.

“I am.”

“Give it some more.” Ellie added in a panic as they began to shoot at the truck—Having Ellie and you turn back and shoot those shooting at you. “Jesse get us the fuck out of here!”

“I’m trying!”

You continued shooting, your fear skyrocketing at the sound of the car not starting. And it seemed like it wasn’t, until it finally did! The only thing was at the same time the car started, someone snuck up on Jesse, their arm wrapping around his throat.

“Jesse!” You bellowed, this time not hesitating for a minute to shoot the person that had him in a choke hold.

“Jesus.” He breathed, before he went back to the stirring wheel, stepping on the grass to continue forward, while Ellie and you continued shooting at soldiers, to what then turned to shooting at a truck chasing after you. Both of you having to turn around as it sped forward in attempts to cut Jesse off and kill all of you—when Ellie managed to shoot the driver, the truck kept swerving your way, hitting you and pushing the truck to the side until it crashed into a lighting post.

Jesse kicked the windshield off, making it easier for Ellie and you to now shoot the damned infected coming your way. Somehow all of you managing to escape on the working car; something that wasn’t easy as all kinds of infected swarmed the car, one grabbing a hold of Ellie to try and pull her back and bite her.

Luckily it was something you managed to avoid by reaching over and stabbing the runner in the head. But in that action, in the distraction the door broke off and Jesse crashed into something in the back. The only good thing to happen was he managed to drive forward, in that crashing into a clicker—it took a couple shots but Ellie and you killed it...the bad thing was that you all crashed into a fence, and the car slid off a hill and crashed into a body of water.

The car was quickly submerging, causing all of you to hold your breath as you sunk down. Some luck finally coming to your side as you managed to swim out of the truck—before you did though, you grabbed Ellie’s hand and helped her out and up to the surface. All three of you gasping for air that lacked in your lungs.

“You guys okay?” Ellie question’s when you all finally made it on the ground.

You shot her a thumbs up, while Jesse responded, “never better.”

“I think we’re in the clear.” Ellie assured.

Pushing yourself off the ground, you extended your hand out to Jesse, “Come on.” He took it with no hesitation, offering you a small smile.

“Thanks.”

After Ellie noticed you both up and...somewhat ready to go moved forward. “This way.”

——

Why was your heart beating so fast? Maybe because you were about to see your boyfriends ex. One he still might have feelings for...well..that was a far stretch since he did ask you to be his girlfriend. But the insecurity still lingered.

After all, they dated for a while.

And when Dina noticed him, the insecurity heightened. The way she hugged him made it worse.

“You okay?” She asked him.

“Nothing a little sleep won’t take care of.” He reassured her.

Dina then came to you, wrapping you in hug much like his. “Are you okay?”

You nodded and offered a feigned smile, “never better.”

You tried not to feel jealous, or insecure about them. Even after her questions, after watching how she looked at him, how she took care of him. Something you should’ve done—but it was hard not to feel that way...and it was hard for Ellie too. That much you saw.....odd.

After watching said girl leave, you followed after, following her to what seemed to be a radio room. She knew you were there, even if she had her back to you.

“Can I tell you something? Promise you won’t tell Jesse?”

You swallowed thickly, hesitating but answering nonetheless. “You can tell me anything, you know that. You’re my best friend.”

Ellie turned to you with a frown, her eyes on the ground before glancing at you, a brief pause before she spoke the unbelievable.

“Dina’s pregnant.”

Tagged- @protect-lev , @expecto-nox

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

Note

I both really want to read a conversion camp fic and really fucking DONT lol but I trust you to do it well and not absolutely destroy us so... I am asking for you to write the conversion camp fic please.

Oh, my plan is to absolutely destroy you all with this one.

This is modern bc it wasn’t gonna be but then I wrote a part and it kinda had to be lol

TW: religion, homophobia, transphobia (nd Steve), conversion camp, anxiety, depression, physical abuse, the word r*pe is thrown around, suicidal ideations, basically, it’s a DOOZY

Seriously, this shit gets DARK. I have A LOT of untapped emotions.

But it has a happy ending, don’t worry

Steve’s hands were shaking as they dug through his bag.

They had already pulled out the eyeshadow palette he had tried to sneak in, needed something to make himself feel okay in this inevitable Hell.

“Did you receive our guidelines?” They had found the lipstick he had shoved in one of his shoes. “We specifically outlined prohibited items.” He took a shaky breath. “Your perversion is much deeper than anticipated, Mr. Harrington.” He just nodded.

He was shuffled about, led to a cold blank room.

His first meeting with a conversion specialist.

“What is your infatuation with women’s things?” The man’s voice made Steve feel like there was cold water dripping down his back.

“I just like pretty things.”

“Why do you deny your manhood?”

“I don’t.”

“You say that, but you do. Every time you pretend you’re a woman-”

“I don’t pretend I’m a woman. I just like makeup and stuff.” He gave Steve a disgusted look.

“By denying your true self, you have turned your back on God. You have allowed the devil to infiltrate your soul, to convince you that these perversions are okay.” He looked down at the paper in his lap, the forms Steve had been forced to sit and fill out with his parents. “You were not close with your father, were you?”

“Um, no. Not really.”

“So you pushed away your male role model?”

“He pushed me away, more like.” The man pursed his lips.

“A father does not push away his son unless there is something evil within him. A father can always tell when there is something wrong, something disgusting in his offspring.” He stood up, towering over Steve.

“You are disgusting, Steven Harrington. You are perverse and foul. You turn your back on your Creator. But you are not without a savior. You can be saved. Denounce the devil that tempts you to this life. Follow your savior, and He will lead you to safety.” He held out his hand. Steve took a breath, and shook it.

Steve’s first day was a fucking nightmare.

He was led to his room, a small room with two bunked beds and no doors. He was told he’d have three roommates, and if they were caught touching one another, the punishment would be painful.

And then it was group therapy.

He sat in a circle with ten of the other boys from the program. They were forced to discuss every attraction they had ever felt to anyone besides women. They were forced to discuss sexual encounters they had had with men, and call themselves disgusting.

And as it was Steve’s turn, and he talked about wearing panties, and fingering himself, and sucking Tommy’s dick, and he felt disgusting.

At dinner he met one of his roommates, and his heart sank.

“Where’d they scrape you up?” The guy was fucking gorgeous.

“Indiana.”

“And you just a homo? Or...?” The guy’s voice trailed off as he looked Steve up and down. “You one a’ them crossdressers, too?” Steve flushed deeply.

“How, how did you know?”

“Because you look like they got to you already. Means they got something on you. Make you feel real bad about yourself.”

“How, how long have you been here?”

“Long enough. Seen plenty a’ boys come and go. Some cured, some just a lost cause.” He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Why, why so long?” He grinned at Steve, sharp and beautiful.

“Because I’m immune, Pretty Boy.” Steve’s breath hitched. The guy licked over his teeth. “Can’t beat the gay outta me if they tried. And they fuckin’ have.”

“But why, why don’t you want to change? I mean, they’re, they’re right.” His blue eyes went cold.

“They got you deep. Damn, you might be the quickest turn around I’ve ever seen.”

“I just, I don’t want to be wrong anymore.” He leaned closer to Steve.

“You have never been wrong.” Steve felt like he was gonna cry.

A firm hand clapped down on Steve’s shoulder.

“William, I hope you’re treating our new guest nicely.” William’s face fell immediately.

“Yes, Father.” Steve looked up to see a priest holding onto him. His hair was greying and neat. His eyes were cold and dead.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Steven with me.” Steve followed him, eyes downcast, all the way to his office. “Steven, my name is Father Andrew. I’m here to help you.” Steve didn’t like his smile. “We’re going to meet everyday at 8:30 pm for your therapy.”

He pulled out a folder from the bottom drawer of his desk. He placed a photograph in front of Steve with a flourish.

It was porn.

It was fucking gay porn.

He stood in front of Steve, leaning against the desk, off to the side of the image.

“Tell me what you see here.” One of the men had dark hair. He was being taken from behind by the other man, his blond hair and bright eyes stirred something in Steve.

“Two men. Having sex.”

He didn’t see Father Andrew’s hand, just heard the crack of it against his cheek.

His eyes watered, his cheek burned.

“What do you see?”

“Two perverts.”

“What are they doing?”

“Defiling one another.”

“Good, Steven. You’re learning.”

He placed another photograph down. This time, the man being fucked had a full face of makeup, tears making the dark eyeliner run as he was on his back, hands cuffed to the bed. The man fucking him was smirking at the camera, tongue between his teeth.

“How does this make you feel?”

“Disgusted.”

“Why?”

“That they, they would touch each other like that.”

“Do you have fantasies like this? Of being tied up by another man? Raped by another man?”

And the answer, the answer was technically yes. He had plenty of fantasies of being tied up, taken rough, taken dirty.

But rape. That’s a strong fucking word.

“No, Father.” Another crack. Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“I, I don’t want to be, to be raped.” Another slap.

“Lying is a sin, Steven.”

“Yes, yes Father. I have had fantasies.”

“These are not fantasies, these are perversions planted in your mind by demons, by the devil trying to pull you away from Christ our Lord. Do not let these demons lead you astray.”

He pulled out another picture.

Steve’s heart fucking stopped.

It was a picture of himself. A nude he had taken for Tommy.

He was wearing pretty lingerie, pouting to the camera. He remembers taking it, remembers putting on his makeup, posing over and over until he took one he liked. They must’ve gone through his phone, through his texts.

“Why do you dress like a woman?”

“Be-because I’m disgusting.” And the thing is, Steve had been told plenty of times that day that he’s disgusting, and he had begun to believe it.

“Good, Steven. You are disgusting. Do you believe you’re a woman?”

“No, Father.”

“Then why have you been experimenting with women’s things?”

“I believed I wasn’t a man.”

“And are you a man?”

“Yes, Father.”

“God made you a man.”

“Yes, Father.” Steve still didn’t like his smile.

He switched the image.

And it was another one of his nudes. This time he was in a skirt, kneeling with his back to the mirror, one hand spreading his cheeks, showing off the silver plug in his ass.

He even remembers the text he had sent with it.

Tommy had been studying for a test, so Steve sent that picture and said but im lonely :( and Tommy had replied I’ll be there in twenty.

“Why do you have an obsession with your anus?” Steve could feel the blood drain from his face.

“I, uh, it feels good.” Another slap.

“How does spitting in the face of your Heavenly Father feel good, Steven? Sodomy does not feel good.” Another slap. Steve’s face felt like it was on fire.

“I’m sorry, Father. I am vile, and disgusting.” Steve was sobbing, felt so fucking pathetic, trying to look anywhere but the printed image of himself.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. I expect you here tomorrow after dinner.”

Steve fucking ran back to his room.

The other boys were asleep. He climbed into the top bunk, curling into himself.

He felt disgusting, he felt foul and wrong and bad.

He tried to stifle his sobs into his pillow, the scratchy case muffling his panic attack.

“Hey, Stevie.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet.” There was a sigh, breath fanning over his face.

And then the boy from earlier was swinging himself into bed with him, curling against him.

“They said-”

“I know exactly what times they patrol. I’ll leave your bed before then.” He sighed. “First night’s always the hardest. You just gotta get through. Tell them what they wanna hear, but remember that they’re fucking wrong. You are valid, and real. Being gay is not disgusting.”

Steve curled into him, letting himself be comforted.

“Thank you. Thank you, William.”

“Oh, Christ. Call me Billy.”

“Thank you, Billy.”

As time passed, it was easy to retreat into himself.

He met with Father Andrew every night, got slapped and hit when his answers weren’t condemning enough.

But each night, Billy would crawl into bed with him, would hold him when he broke down.

The kiss was inevitable.

It happened after Steve had an extreme day, the beating he received when he had admitted to being nonbinary, that he had asked his friends at home to use other pronouns.

And Billy had said you’re perfect the way you are, Sweet Thing.

And Steve kissed him.

And Steve wanted to die.

“Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned.” Steve took a shaking breath.

He was kneeling in the small confessional.

They had Mass every three days, and confession each Friday.

“It has been one week since my last confession.” He took a deep breath. He needed to get this of his chest, needed to get the punishment he deserved. “Father, I, the feelings have not gone away. There is, there’s a boy, and I, I love him. And I try not to. I try not to look at him, to remember the devil is leading me astray. But Father, I think about him. I think about him often.”

“This is an extremely grievous sin, my son.”

“I know, Father. Please help me. I want to, I want to be pure. To be free of this sin, this temptation.”

“I offer, as penance for your sins, to pray a rosary for each time you have had an evil thought about your fellow man this week. As you ponder the Mysteries of the rosary, consider how God created you, how Jesus died for you, and you wipe your feet on their love.”

“Yes, Father.”

“And our meeting will be arduous tonight, Steven.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Now please, recite the Act of Contrition.”

Steve’s hands shook as he recited the prayer, finishing his confession with Father Andrew.

“Now, Steven. You discussed having impure thoughts today.”

Steve’s knees ached from praying the rosary so many times earlier today. He hadn’t eaten, had gone straight to the Chapel after his confession.

He wanted to pray, to cleanse himself.

And he didn’t want to risk seeing Billy.

“Yes, Father.”

“And you mentioned that you love another boy.”

“The devil is trying to make me think it’s love.” Father Andrew smiled his empty smile down at Steve.

“That’s right Steven. Because love cannot exist between two men. Love is a beautiful thing created and given to us by The Lord God.” Father Andrew leaned over Steve, made him shrink back in his seat. “Which is why you are unlovable as you are. You are foul and vile. You may be loved if you change.”

He grabbed Steve’s hair, holding his head still as he slapped his face.

And Steve let him.

He was foul, he was vile.

He deserved the pain.

Two months.

That’s how long it took Steve to “graduate”.

He left the facility in clean khakis, a nice sweater his mother had sent him to wear home.

Billy had left a week and a half prior.

He was deemed a lost cause.

Steve’s mother was there to pick him up, hugged him tight and told him how happy she was that he was fixed.

He was quiet as they drove, watching the shadows the summer sun cast on the side of the plain flat road.

“Your father will be pleased. You’ve made such wonderful progress. Free of all those delusions.”

They passed Tommy’s house.

He felt sick.

The first thing Steve did when he got home was destroy all his make up.

He took everything feminine from it’s hiding spot in the back of his closet.

He scraped out the eye shadow, smeared the lipstick all over his dresses.

He cut up his lingerie, shoved everything into a black garbage back, driving into town to toss it in the dumpster behind the gas station.

He wanted it away, he wanted it gone. He wanted to be pure.

His hands shook as he zipped up the suitcase.

He didn’t have much in there, was planning on taking enough to get him through a little while, then maybe buying some things, some pretty things.

His parents were asleep downstairs, he was planning on being long gone by the time they woke up.

He put on his backpack, taking his wallet and tiptoeing down the stairs, his shoes in his hand.

He had a plan, would drive to the bus station, leave his car there.

Someone will find it, and at that point, he’ll be long gone.

He bought a bus ticket to Chicago, paid in cash and gave a fake name.

He was fucking out of here.

They were fucking out of here.

“As I live, and fucking breathe.”

Steve startled as a hand came down on their shoulder.

They startled again when they turned around, came face to face with a ghost from the past.

“B-Billy?” Billy’s hair was longer than it had been at the camp. His smile was lazier, his eyes brighter. Steve’s gut gave an excited little flutter as he looked them up and down.

“You look fuckin’ gorgeous, Pretty Boy.” Steve flushed, adjusting their dress. It was new.

It had been three years since the camp. One year of Steve living in pain, until they packed their shit, and moved to the Golden Coast. They left in the middle of the fucking night, ran away like a scared child, never looking back.

And here was the love of their goddamn life, in some hole in the wall coffee shop in San Fransisco.

“It’s uh, it’s not Pretty Boy, anymore.” Billy’s grin got even wider.

“Thank fuck.” He swung himself into the seat across from Steve’s, upsetting some of the papers they were working on.

“What happened to you, Billy?” Billy’s smiled slipped, just a little.

“My dad was tired a’ paying for that joint if I wasn’t getting better. So he said if I wasn’t fixed in like, a month, he would stop paying, and I would be kicked out. Stayed true to his word. Haven’t seen the bastard since.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Getting kicked outta that place is the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I graduated. Went through the whole thing. Took me a year to realize how fucked up it was.”

“Jesus. They got you deep.” Steve shrugged.

“I’m okay now.”

“Yeah? What’re you doin’?”

“Goin’ to school. Gonna be a counselor. Hopefully work in an elementary school, or something.” Billy’s eyes were bright.

“That’s amazing. Gonna tell all the little queer kids that they’re valid and all that?”

“That’s the goal.” Billy grinned. “What are you doing now? You with anyone?”

“I own a bar, actually. Kind of a dive, but it’s a good time.” He looked at Steve through his lashes. “You should come by, sometime. Be good to see you.”

“I’d like to see you too.”

“And to answer your question, I’m not with anyone. Not right now.” He smirked. “But I could be.” He leaned over the table, drawing one finger down Steve’s hand. “I like seeing you happy. Feel like I only ever saw you cryin’ in that joint.”

“Well, spent a lot of time crying there.”

“For good reason.” Billy took their hand. “It’s really good to see you.”

“Y’know I told Father Andrew I was in love with you. Got beat black and fuckin’ blue for it.” Billy’s face was grave.

“Why’d you do that?”

“Wanted to be fixed. Took me a year to realize I didn’t need that.”

“You stop lovin’ me in that year?”

“Not even in the two after that.” Billy took a shaking breath.

“You know, I uh, I love you too. Always did. It broke my fucking heart to leave you in that place. Was gonna wake you up that night, get you to run away with me. But they took me out, uh, forcibly.”

“Bet you put up a real good fight.”

“Broke Father Ryan’s nose.” Steve let out a burst of laughter, clapping one hand over their mouth.

“I was wondering about that. He had a splint for like, a month.”

“Yeah, well, bastard kept tryin’ to exorcise me. Headbutted him right in the face.”

“Good for you, Bill. Sometimes I wish I could light the whole place on fire.”

“Me too.” Billy took their hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I gotta head, but I wanna see you. Soon. Later today, if you can.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m just doing some homework, but I could stop by the bar tonight? I don’t have shit to do tomorrow.”

“Lemme pick you up. We can go to dinner before I take you to the bar.” They smiled softly at him.

“I’d like that.”

#oof #this was a lot to write #i got halfway through and realized how much damn Truama the Church has given me #big yikes #I've been really fucking scarred by TWO religions #how fun #yikes writes #tw homophobia #tw religion #tw conversion #tw gay conversion #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

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pigeonxp · 3 years

Text

YGCMA songs and how they relate to c!Wilbur based off of yesterday’s lore (in my biased opinion)

This is so dumb and i literally don’t care. I can’t think about anything else other than doing this synopsis even tho like 28480329204 other people are going to do it. idc.

(I listened to the songs earlier, and i’m also listening to them as i write the opinions. these are basically just my thoughts while listening tbh. im also not doing the full song, just some things i feel relate within each song)

- Jubilee Line

the lines at the beginning of the song, “hate to see you leaving / a fate worse than dying” could relate to how wilbur feels after tommy gets pulled back into the overworld. or, he could be referencing L’Manburg and how he hates to see his country leaving him (ouch).

then we have the lines “your city gave me asthma / so thats why im fucking leaving / and your water gave me cancer / and the pavements hurt my feelings”. This could be in relation to L’Manburg as a whole. He put everything he had into L’Manburg and it only ended up hurting him in the end. yikes.

now we have “shout at the wall / ‘cause the walls dont fucking love you” repeated. This could be in reference to when he said he was fucking kicking and screaming to get out of the train station. hes screaming and he doesnt care because it doesnt matter to him. it doesnt love him just like how the people of L’Manburg didnt love him. wilbur get therapy challenge.

so based on the lore from yesterday, we know that c!wilbur’s limbo was a train station (props to fanartists. i love you.), presumably the YCGMA album cover type deal. when he sings “Theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the tube line / theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the rails” repeated. if the train station looks like how they do on the album cover, there could be barriers where he is. maybe hes trying his best to just kill himself over again by jumping onto the tracks. just in an attempt to escape. jfc

“theres a reason they fail”. he was still in the train station, wasnt he?

- Saline Solution

for this one, i feel like hes pretty far into the void and regretting his decision to have phil kill him. hes tired of being in a fucking train station for years on end.

“i think this time im dying / im not melodramatic / im just pragmatic beyond any / reasoning for thinking ive got / fuckin rabies or something.” hes so fucking sick of being in this goddamn train station and he thinks hes dying. hes so pent up and sick of being there, maybe hes just in so much pain that he feels like hes dying. if hes been there for a while, hes probably bound to go crazy at some point, hence the “pragmatic beyond any reasoning.”

“I think ive lost my mind / blurring the fact and the fictions” this feels like he really does believe hes going crazy and is mixing up the things he really knows and the things his mind is creating for him. maybe this is when tommy first arrived and he cant tell if he real or not (thats a stretch but i figured id share it anyway.)

“I think ive made my choice / im a deceased playing victim / slip the face, slip the victory” he quite literally says that hes a deceased playing victim. hes literally saying hes dead HAHHAHAH anyway. maybe hes blaming himself again, because us c!wilbur apologists all know that hes very good at doing that.

“Sit secluded in hatred /.../” hes sitting in a fucking train station for god knows how long beating himself up over and over again and just hating himself. hes all alone. with himself. someone he fucking loathes.

this is honestly all i have for Saline Solution, but i will definitely add more later if i get different theories.

- Since I Saw Vienna

This is my favorite song on the album and my comfort song so that could factor into this bit ahaha

im going to skip through this one a little bit and go to the line “The roads are my home, horizons my target / if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it / treating my memory of you like a fire, let it / burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on” this sounds like hes reminiscing on his home in L’Manburg and his presidency was something he relied on and he would fight to get it back, but now that hes dead and said that it should remain that way that he should just let it go. trying to move on from his symphony, forever unfinished.

“its been sixty weeks since i saw vienna / a bandage and a wide smile slapped across my face / ill pick up my hiking boots when i am ready / and ill put down my roots when im dead.” THESE LINES FUCK ME UP IN GENERAL BUT HOW THEY RELATE TO C!WILBUR RN IS JUST SUIBHYSBUSHDXNSKJDNHBD YK???? in the context that vienna is L’Manburg and he died, its saying that its been a long ass time since hes seen it and hes faking being okay about his death. he misses it but doesnt want to admit it. the picking up the hiking boots when hes ready is him moving on from his L’Manburg, and putting his roots down when hes dead is finally being okay with not living there/being an important part of it. he believed his death was the best for the people in L’Manburg and L’Manburg itself. it seems like hes still trying to convince himself.

“Ill be gone then, for when you must be alone.” hes gone. hes dead. hes in the train station. he left the L’Manburgians alone and hes alone in his limbo. man.

- Losing Face

this song is angry. hes so fucking angry. my thoughts are that this is about the following presidents after him. he feels like the L’Manburgians were happier without him and im pretty sure he believed that even when Schlatt was president. this is so evident in the lyric “Is he better than me?” Hes literally asking if the other presidents were better than he was. he doesnt believe he did everything he could to be the best president, even though we all know that he gave everything that he was into that country and then some. he broke himself for the L’Manburg but he doesnt believe hes enough. sheesh.

“Ive seen him / ive been him / ive felt the same way” even though he cant see the new presidents being president, he knows what its like. he knows that they might break under the pressure. hes been there. he knows how if feels. yikes.

“Ive lost all meaning / ive lost my sense of hope” this feels like when he was nearing the end of L’Manburg when he blew it up, and that he feels like trying to win it back is pointless. he has no hope for it anymore, so why not give up? his mental state is already shit yk so i cant really blame him for feeling that way.

“i dont care / i want you here / as long as youre happy, i dont care” this line. this fucking line. hes lost hope in being president, but he doesnt care. he just wants the L’Manburgians to be happy. that was his whole thought process while he was president. he didnt matter to himself, he just wanted them to be happy. he sacrificed his mental state for them. cries in wilbur apologist.

- Your Sister Was Right

this is my second favorite song on the album i think HAHAHAH

anyway

“I use everyone i ever meet / i cant find the perfect match / abuse those i love / while i ostracize the ones who love me / back.” wowie wow wow fucking ouchie. He feels like he uses his friends. this whole thing is a projection of his shit ass mental state rn fucking hell. he feels like hes abusive. thats what everyones been telling him. they tell him he was awful and a shit president and all that jazz even though hes been killing himself trying to be the best for them but its still not enough (pigeon projecting? more likely than you think)

“every time that i miss you / i feel the way you hurt / and i dont deserve you / you deserve the world / though it feels like we were built / from the same dirt.” man. hes dead lol. he misses the L’Manburgians. not only were they his supporters, but they were all his friends too. every time he misses his friends he feels their pain of when he first blew up L’Manburg. he feels like because he caused them all pain that they dont like him and that they never liked him and that he is undeserving of their friendship. he still wants to be friends with them. he still loves them. he still wants the best for them. he thinks theyre so much better than him even though they all created L’Manburg together. in reality they are all the same, but their actions impact each other and he feels that his actions make him worse than them or less than. fuckisonmdfnpbhife

“and i hate to say it / but your sister was right / dont trust english boys / with far too much free time” sister is dream mayhaps. fuckngeionsfjg that hurt sorry uhhh anyway yeah sister is dream?? he did say that wilbur would be a shit president and he believes that hes a shit president so he thinks they were all right about him being a shit president fbhjebinfnejg. maybe sister is just everyone who didnt believe in wilbur. man....

“a fucking waste of time” do i even need to explain this one? he fr doesnt belive hes worth it anymore and that hes literally a waste of time. hjkfbhnfve

- La Jolla

this one feels pretty far into train station limbo to me as well. namely from “and im lonely / there i said it” this could either be him being lonely as president and feeling like he doesnt have anyone to talk to really because hes too busy trying to hold himself together for everyone. either that or hes lonely in the station and didnt want to admit it because this is what he wanted. he wanted to die. he wanted to be dead because he believed thats what everyone else wanted and he just wanted the best for them.

“i could go away / i could pack my things and be gone before you wake” he could leave if they asked him to. he would do anything for them.

“you know ive tried hard to love me too / it always seems to fall in, through” this line already physically pained me but now it hurts even more having to relate it to a character i love. we already know that his mental state was declining as his presidency continued, but this would confirm that hes just trying to love himself even though he can never seem to get it right.

“my own personal sunset” this is just the ‘this is my sunrise’ line but different. my man misses the sun. fuck.

- I’m Sorry Boris

this song is almost definitely from a long ass time in the limbo.

“and im sorry / but, boris / im leaving / im not good for anyone here” boris represents L’Manburgians!! hes talking about how hes leaving the world by planning on killing himself. fuck.

“we reached the end of a decade” mans been dead for a decade. sheesh.

he then goes on to say that he cant believe hes leaving, he doesnt think he wants to leave them, but he thinks its whats best for them.

he talks about how they do all of these bullshit things before helping you and i know its in reference to london but for the sake of my sanity its about the presidency role and how it will fuck you up before bothering to help you not want to kill yourself.

should i do a separate post about how i visualized it/about how i thought about the song in paragraph form like a lowkey explanation? idk how to explain it but in this one i wanted to just cover some of the lyrics of the songs and my thoughts on them. i think c!wilbur wrote these in the limbo after he died. i know this is also shit and Not Good, but i really just needed to get my thoughts out before it killed me. i also didnt reread this. its probably repetitive and shit yk. i do Not Care. id also love to hear thoughts on this if yall want to. if you made it this far i love you please hydrate and eat today and youre so sexy ahaha

“and even though im finished / im not quite done with it” even though hes finishing his symphony by blowing it up, hes now realizing he wished he hadnt blown it up and that he hadnt killed himself. man.

#tw death #tw suicide #wilbur soot #ycgma #dream smp #tommyinnit #dream #c!wilbur #fuck i love this album

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